Threedom - Hi I'm A Creepypasta

Episode Date: February 23, 2023

Lauren, Paul and Scott talk about whistling, call sheets for a friend group, and listen to voicemails. Follow us on social media @threedomusa. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail]. Leave us a voicemail at 424-252-4678 (HAG-CLAIMS-8).

3-0! 3-0! 3-0! 3-0! I'm a turkeys here. I was hooting like a little owl. I actually did hear her. Like what? An owl it?

An owl it, yeah. I was actually just gonna say. Did you plug a plug into? Because you made a turkey noise? I went with my dea plugs. What are the owl, her things? And, to what I'm from? Uh, Franny, my dog had some issues last week.

Oh no. And I had to give her a bland diet. And I was making... I'm tired, you're gonna say I had to give her a... Now, she loves Indian food. She loves Indian food. She loves it but I had to calm it down. No spice yet mild spice. She but it just won't really pepper. I had to make her some like boiled chicken and some like and rice and some like ground turkey was an option.

So I did that. I'm telling you the ground turkey when I open up that pyrex. It couldn't smell more like a fart. It's a trowel. It is the grossest. Ground turkey in general smells like a fart. I don't even. I don't know because I've never made ground turkey. I don't. So I don't. You've never ground your own turkey. Not. No, I haven't. You don't even have a grinder in your house. You're not even on grinder? No. You're not slewishing a bunch of birds? Yeah, no. But anyway, it smells so fucking gross. Just, but I think...

Thanks for that update. Yeah, I wanted to say this. I just had to share that. I have an update as well. Okay. I can't whistle anymore. Any more. What do you mean by such?

Here, you're trying to... I'm this. Here, just do it here. What do you mean by such? Here, you're trying this. Here, just do this. Just do this. Just do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was called upon to whistle in a voice recording. And when I went to do it, you got make the sound of whistle. Did you get whistle shy?

This is like my bird trauma. Oh, you're, yeah, that's the best I can do. But that's not good. I'm good, no you're not good. I used to be able to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you think's changed? Do you need more wetness in your mouth?

Oh, I don't know. I don't know what it is. My mouth does not feel dry. Well, let me put something in there to work. Yay! Wow. That's how you treat my update. No, I don't know what it is. My mouth does not feel dry. Well, let me put something in there to work. Yeah. Wow. That's how you treat my update. Yeah.

That's so foul. I come to you with an update about music I can make with my mouth, just like Bismarkey. I was whistling the Brady Bunch theme for Holly and she was loving it. Really? Yeah. And she was loving it. Really? Yeah, and she really liked that. I was gonna show you a little bit.

Like did it make her laugh? I already found out. But it was her response. She was just so excited that she was trying to whistle to. Oh, that's brilliant. That's really good. Wait, Paul, can you hawk a look and get like really wet in there? That is serious.

Just be like, and then go. Wait, I gave you a good Just be like, and then go, wait, I gave you a good... Ew! Because I have too much spit in my mouth. Every once in a while, I'll get into a great groove in the shower where I like, my whistling is really loud, and it's actually...

You whistling in the shower? Yeah, sometimes. After I heard of you, did you such a thing? After I saw West Side Story, for some reason, I think I was whistling cool, like, for half an hour. At the long time.

It sounded so good. That's a long time to whistle. Also, that's a long shower. I was like, this is professional. Great. Well, no, I took it longer because I was like, this whistling is too good. You stayed in the shower because you're enjoying your whistling so much. I was enjoying so much. Sometimes when the acoustics are just so.

And we're in a perpetual drop. Look, this was after the big rainfall. Oh sure, me and my shower was collected from the rain. And you had buckets all at your feet to collect to water your plants. You may have an rain barrel. Yeah. I have to issue a correction or up to you.

Oh, great. Yeah. I was informed by a very kind listener. And let me tell you, just so you're a listener, you can be kind when you speak to us online. And many of you are. Everyone's still else. Most of our picks are wonderful.

We love our perfect. Beautiful little guys out there. Beautiful little guys. So, one told me that the food Instagram that I plugged in the last episode is one that I follow to learn about what I should do for healthcare. Oh, no, they're racist.

They're anti-vax and they're, yeah. There's a history. Which faxes? Oh, I think it's just mumps. Oh, okay. I understand that one. Kind of up to you. But no, they said that I probably wouldn't align

with the values of this person and in truth, I don't. They also suggested a different food thing to follow. I'm not going to plug that one because I don't even know if that's a good one. Exactly. You have to vet these indeed. Yes. Do some op-o reach for your own folk food. So, you know, all I was really getting out of that account was like, you know, don't

buy Doritos by these chips if you want to have a healthy day or whatever. What plug? Go ahead, plug it. Yeah, plug it. No, I'm not going to do that. I mean, that's, I made the mistake. I mean, you plug Doritos. Well, I love the stuff. Doritos have flawless politics.

Um, look, and if we're gonna get into it, the M&Ms. The M&Ms, they're obviously back. Look, look, look. Lauren, are you embarrassed? I'm actually not because. No regrets. No regrets. No regrets.

I don't really, I don't care and I did fall for their little trick. And we talked about this, Paul. We are both on TV, I say with Ashley Ray, a fun TV podcast. We're talking about all the super bowl commercials. If you want to hear that, you should check it out. All three hundred. Every single one. I honestly think we talked about the gut Bowl commercials if you wanna hear that, you should check it out. Yeah, all three hundred. Every single one. I honestly think we talked about the gut felt one twice.

75% of that. There were three gut felts. There were three? Well, three spots that I saw, I think. I only saw two. I only saw one and I think. Maybe there was only two, I don't know. But I saw one that was longer.

Oh, you saw an extended gut and the gut felt, I had such a funny line in it about cultural appropriations. Oh no, I've seen that one. The one about the night. That was the long one? Maybe, I don't know. There was a. Such a funny line in it about cultural appropriations. Oh no, I've seen that one. The one about the night. That was the long one? Maybe, I don't know. There was a short, there was definitely a short one where they're like, and gut failed,

or what's the name gut failed? Brett gut failed. Commercial go, he goes, hi, I'm great. And then they cut it, and there was none of the other stuff. I was so confused that that wasn't a local commercial. I thought that was local, so I didn't know. Like everything in a church or everything about it seemed that way. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But anyways, the M&Ms are back. These go to the preparation. Are you buying for a role in the next one? Please get a hold of it. Good fellow, that worked with you once. You did? I was on the terrible show. He did red-out.

Oh, he did red-out as well? Yeah, because he was... Did he take over from the end of the month? No, he was the original. No, I think- I think- I think Andy Levy was the writer, I'm not sure. But Greg- Greg got- Feld was the host. Okay. And strangely enough, I was booked on with Gavin McKinnon's. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa There is a fun clip out there of me on cool boy on to show with these two enjoy it.

Oh boy. Well, how did it feel to be the least funny person in the room? It was so funny because my I think my PR person just like sold it to me like, Hey, there's to show that we book a lot of comedians on. It's on Fox is that okay? I was like, Yeah, I don't care. Like thinking it was Fox Fox or whatever. This is how disgusting comedians are because they really will like anything. You know what? Please get me on TV. My quest for fame. The whole in my soul

will be filled. Yes. Well, speaking of that, I can't say what it is yet, but I will be on a game show again. Oh, I'm very excited. Wait, you were on the, I like that. You're on the peeram here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were on the pyramid already? No, I mean, it's literally gonna happen.

Um, my pyramid never aired. I don't know, maybe it's gonna, I don't know when they aired them or what's happening, but I don't think it ever aired. If they don't air the, the winners don't get the money. That can't be true. That's true. Is that really true?

Well, because that was winning so hard for my people, I mean, they really better get the money. That's a clause in it. And I remember a friend of mine, one at game show, anyone like $250,000 or something like that. And he was just praying it got on the air and that they didn't cancel the game. It was one of those nighttime game shows.

It was crazy. He was like, God, because they don't get paid unless it actually airs. So do you think they have a plan just game shows in general to not air a batch of them? I think if a show gets canceled, that's their protection in order to save money, essentially. Well, if we got canceled,

we're not gonna pay out every single person. Oh, but I don't know if it's canceled. It's kind of funny that it's like, well, I won. It's like, fuck you, nobody's hot. Yeah. I mean, I actually find that astounding. Yeah, it was something I never knew about until,

like I said, my friend won and then he was just like, yeah, you don't get paid unless it airs. Did it air? It finally airs. Oh, thank God. But it was like one of these, I think it was. One of these games shows that was like during

the millionaire craze Yeah, who wants to be a millionaire was doing so well like a bunch of competitors that's right One of these things where it was like oh my god if it may get canceled it might not I don't remember the other shows of that era I tried out for like sort of quiz shows. Yeah, I tried out for one, but I don't remember what was called it was on Fox I don't remember I don't know I went down into the quiz and all right I tried out for one but I don't remember what it was called. It was on Fox, but I don't remember. I don't know. I went down into the quiz and all that. Right, I checked up.

Yeah, right, I checked up. Good, good, good, good, folks. Big, punch. Look, good, Phil, do we love you? You're really funny. Good, Phil, do we love you? Have you watched that show? No.

It's astonishing because the audience, he has an audience in studio. That's, they're not laughing. Every joke just like dies. Scott Feld, we're not better than you though. Scott Feld, we're not better than you. No, we are. I don't even know what I have. I have said it.

I said it on the other podcast. I'm saying it here. I don't know what that show is. And I thought the commercial was local. And I'm just learning. And I'm so, and got and I'm just learning and I'm so and got felt I'm learning about you and I could felt and I'm gonna learn everything I can learn about you online and get to know you you know just here socially.

Okay here's do you think this is funny this joke I'm gonna tell okay my pronouns are go fuck slash yourself. Ah, ha, ha. You like it. Because of, because of, because of, because everything's so woke. Everything's woke. Roseanne's coming back. Thank God. And she announced it by saying my pronouns are kiss my ass.

Pretty good, pretty good. Pretty good. Oh, we could say kiss. 10 million times. You could say kiss my ass. I forgot. They wanted to kiss my ass, that kiss my ass wanted to.

On the pattern. Ha, ha, ha. Well, it's kiss, kiss kiss my ass said they wanted to kiss my ass said kiss my ass wanted to go the bathroom. How well it's kiss kiss slash my ass. Kiss said my said I don't know. I'm already lost. So that my ass is the possessive or the idea that anyone now would do one of those jokes because it is a style. But because there's a there's a community of people out there who are really love it every time bad Really is through though. It's like you can make the same joke endless variations on the same book and they will love it. Yeah, it's got our

Your memoir God felt we love you I committed to learning all about you and I still will try to do it. Yeah. God felt you're the best. But that said, if God felt we're to call us tomorrow, we're on a plane.

Absolutely. We're on this show. On a plane. On a plane. It's in New York. We stand on the shoulders of God. I believe it's in New York, at least as last show was. Yeah.

And it's filmed underground. That's what it feels like. Yeah, like miles underground. And it in a missile silo. You have to climb down many, many layers of the water. No elevator. We shot, no, you should up underground. Oh, that's right.

Oh, I was there. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That was fun. It was fun. It was fun. Right by the airport. There was what a great area.

I didn't remember it. I didn't remember it came there. Somewhere was fun. Right by the airport. There was what a great area. I didn't remember getting there. Somewhere after work. You should. That would have been amazing. You should have every day. Every single day. You fly to Burbank. Yeah, you float. Burbank to LA. You float to Burbank. You float. You float a burbank. You float a burbank. You float a burbank. You float a burbank. You float a burbank. You float a burbank. You float a burbank. You float a burbank. You float a burbank. You float a burbank. You float a burbank. You float a burbank. You float a burbank. You float a burbank. You float a burbank. You float a burbank. You float a burbank. You float a burbank. You float a burbank. You float a burbank. You float a burbank. You float a burbank. You float a burbank. You float a burbank. You float a burbank. You float a burbank. You float a burbank. You float a burbank, it's cheaper than gas. A float of butter, a float of perfect. Guys, what's going on with the planes these days? There's so many and they're going up and down.

They're going up and down? Summer, like going in a straight line. Yeah, I heard that. Summer completely full, summer not. Yeah, it's crazy. Like I'm not following the plane stuff. What's going on? They're going up or they're going down?

Hey, booty judge. I got a question for you. booty judge. booty judge. I got a question. We booty judge. booty judge. That that booty judge hunt. When's the last plane ride that you took? You took one recently. Didn't you? Where did I go? Did you go to Chicago? I did. But what would it go?

No sooner. Yeah, went home for Christmas. That's what it was. Yeah. Yeah. How was it being up there in the friendly sky? Well, you know, I did, but would it go anywhere sooner? Yeah, went home for Christmas, that's what it was. Yeah. How was it being up there in the friendly sky? You know, I saw white puffy clouds and I saw blue, blue, blue air. Blue air. Yeah, yeah.

Look at all that air. It was beautiful. I have a couple trips coming up that I'm excited about. Some actual girls trips. Oh, really? Yeah. I'm, I have a couple trips coming up that I'm excited about. Some actual girls trips. Oh, really? Yeah. Mm-hmm. And Martin April, you know, assuming schedules all work out and everything.

Yeah. Um, magic, my couple places. Show in Vegas. I got to see magic. How many girls? I gotta see them, Dick Swangin. Um, one will just be me and Arden. And then another one is a birthday trip for my friend where I think there's,

I don't know how many have committed to the trip, but there were like seven people invited. And this is a out of town trip. Yes. Wow. Jamie has a yearly girls trip, which I think is very nice. Well, I heard about it on your podcast, and by the way, I also heard the shout out that I'm one of your listeners, and I was like standing there going, and D-I-M. I thought her trip's ideas sounded so nice. They go to Palm Springs every year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it just seemed like so, so nice to have that tradition. I felt that way about, because a bunch of us went out of town

for Rob Hubel's Bachelors party a while ago before he got married, obviously. And it was so fun. And there were like 30 of us in Ohai. And just like swimming in the pool and throwing balls at each other. At a big house or a big house, yeah. Throwing balls at each other.

To like football, you know, like trying to catch a ball while jumping in the pool. Oh, yeah, test. Sure, sure, sure. You know, and there was a pass. Everybody, everybody say, watch me, watch me. Yeah, watch me. I'm dancing the testing.

Watch me. You're throwing pennies in for each other. Yeah, testicles. That's it. Watch me. You're throwing pennies in for each other. Yeah, testicles. A big one. But I was like, it sucks that you have to wait for a friend to get married and you can only do that. Like, we should have them. You don't have to do that.

Why don't you say, hey, why don't we do it? Like a men's retreat every year or something like that. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. But not call it that. Yeah, not with the same people. Not Rob. No, he's the only one. No, I call it that because that's the, that's what my church called it.

Uber. Right. The men's retreat. Oh, the idea of a bunch of like Christian men getting together, like, God, let's really talk about our faith guys. Sometimes I'm tempted outside of my words. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, what do you do about that? I looked at a woman's leg. I was thinking about where I went to summer camp every year at Forest Home in Redwoods, California. Sounds like a cemetery. No, nothing.

It's me. Plus you little ones. Thank you. It'll sneeze you over there. Just one. Just had to let one out. Yep. Okay. But there were cabins everywhere,

except for when you were, God, what age was it? Oh, it was first through fifth grade or sixth grade. You just slept out in the ground. No, in TPs, in what they called Indian Village. Oh. And the place is still around. I wonder if you can still do that,

or is it like Godfeld said, cultural appropriation? Well, I don't think it's me called TPs in the Indian. What did you call it? It was called Indian Village. You can still call things TPs. Okay, but I mean, but I'm saying, if that's a fairer, be a TPs.

But if they have TPs and nobody involved as an indigenous person, doesn't that seem like that is appropriation? Yes. Like dressing up as a knight in Chan-Mail. I'm saying do. That's my culture. I'm saying do they care?

Who? Indigenous people? No, no. The Christian summer camp. Oh, no. I'm sure they don't. No, no, no. When I was a kid,

some kids are very Native American themed all the time. That is true. When I was little, we made Native American art and stuff while we were there. Yeah. When I was little, we went to the YMCA had a program called Indian Guides and Indian Princesses. Yes. And it would be dads and daughters, dads and sons, Indian Guides and dads and daughters

was Indian princesses. And I mean, you know, of course, appropriation aside, really nice bonding with fathers and daughters. It was very sweet. We would go, so it would be like all these dads and all these daughters and you go to, you know, go camping or you go to like a, like there was one time where we went to like a, we all stated a castle. And they were all these bunk beds and it was weird and then like, there was like a princess who had bunk beds and a castle. Who even knows, who even knows, they were just weird locations.

There'd be little events. Welcome to Black House. and it was really fun and it was very sweet and when I think back to that I'm like I'm very like touched that like my dad did that with both of us yeah sweet sweet yeah I think you loved you Did he say I think you loved you so what about so up right now I'm just gonna be in front of And you're running run Indian guide. So he was the guide. I don't know.

But they call, wouldn't that be both times would be called, because like the, the guy, dad's and sons is called Indian guide. That's just Indian guides. Yeah, the dad's and daughters called Indian princess. I feel like this was the kid is a guide or a princess. I guess, and the dad is just there. But I feel like this kid is a guide or a princess. I guess, and the dad is just there. But I feel like this was also Indian guides

was also a thing at my church growing up as well. What is the YCA religious? Or no, I don't know. Mine was still Y. Well, let's see why youth. Men. See. Cooperation.

A. I think you're gonna say something worse. A.M. Amen. Oh, amen. It is religious, cooperation. And you're going to say something worse. Amen. Amen. Oh, amen. It is religious. Yes. Young man, cooperation.

Amen. Yeah. The summer camp I went to was called St. John Newman, but I don't remember there being any religious aspect to it. Like, I don't think we, I don't think there was any church service. I don't think there was like grace before meals or don't think there was grace before meals or anything. It was just the name. Yeah, there was nothing religious with the activities,

but I'm just wondering if the whole place was religious or not. But what was that fascination with? Why so many religious places had like, oh, let's make it Indian themes. Native American, you know, we made dreamt catchers or things. I think it was a camping thing.

Yeah. They were romanticizing the outdoors. Yeah. They could have made it like pioneers, but they were like, let's make it India's because it's mystical. Yes. Yes.

Good times. Also, it was a way to honor them. It was a way to honor the Native Americans. Well, that's definitely what. Like Blackface was honoring it. It's Black people. I had somebody try to make that argument to me. What? Years ago. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

It's a tribute to black people. That's psychotic. Well, I mean, yeah. Don't go on. I mean, to be fair, no. I guess I could see. Why don't we talk about something dumber? Oh, here's something dumb. I don't know if you've done it. I thought you had something. I have no, I just meant like, you know, rather than, you know, debating appropriation. I have a new bag. We're not debating it.

I don't think we're discussing it. I don't think anyone's for. No, we're not. But what is your bag? Let's talk about the bag. I just mean, you must have your bag. Because I finally had to admit, after having the, do you remember my old bag?

It was a leather bag? Let's talk about that one. I didn't memorize your bags. No, of course you didn't memorize it. It was broken. I could see if you saw it every week for a year. I did, I did. Did it have a little flap that went down

and I recall you opening the flap for sure. And it was a brown leather. And I had that bag for, I wanna say, 10, 15 years? Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here.

Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here.

Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. Your eyes are up here. I didn't have the heart to tell you, but you went along and I ended up in the trash bin. I ended it in the dark. And then that's impressive. You did it for so you use it for so long.

You like the word so bad. You didn't like the punch. Now the way I look at the way I do it. Well, let's look at this bad. It's the canvas messenger slash. It's much smaller. What do you call it? It's not messenger.

It's not a large body. It's a vertical rectangle. So it's not this. I guess you could call it a merc. I don't know. Do you keep your mercen in there? Yeah. I have several.

I keep one of my glove box. I have a red mercen per St. Patrick's Day. I said mercen. Mercen. So let's look at this where you find this at C. I found it on amazon.com. Wow. Okay.com. Wow. Okay.

Yeah. Amazing. I went looking with specific specifics. Can you scan it up please? Sure. I want to look at it. Here it goes. That's a good Amazon.

It's a good bag. I mean, it's one of the last cotton. Another $20 in Jeff Bezos' pocket. Do you think he's looking at spending when people buy shit on Amazon every day. Why wouldn't he? Is it not? I feel like he's not part of the company anymore.

Is that not true? I think he I haven't heard that. I don't want to go on record. But I think he is. What's going to happen? You're going to go on deep background. You're going to go to court. Say it to his face.

I thought you weren't allowed there anymore. Well, let me look it up. That's a good, it's a good bag, Paul. Congratulations on your new purchase. I hope it makes you feel good. But do you know that feeling of like, I want this thing to work. So it happens with clothes all the time. Yes. Oh my God.

Yeah. But I'm getting along to a thing. You're like, oh, it looks so good, but not on me. There's stuff in this very room that I'm like, I like. Yeah. Can we guess? No, when you let yourself get rid of every single use go, no, no, no.

And I mean, that's the way something yesterday that I was like, oh, thank God, I finally did it. Oh my God, that was, I looked at, I don't wanna say it. Wait, can I say something? So I was, I was, can I tell you? She said she wanted to say something. I was starting to Google can I tell you? She said she wanted to say something. I was starting to Google,

is Jeff Bezos still connected to Amazon? The first three things that come up, when you start being is Jeff, is Jeff the killer real? I don't know who Jeff the killer is. Who's Jeff the killer? He's not real. Oh my God.

Is Jeff probes married? And is Jeff done a married? What? You one of his puppets. So what are the answers? On all of them. It says, and slash a. Oh my God. And then I just just based on the first thing comes up is is Jeff Bezos a Jew. Jesus. I don't understand. But when it just Jeff Bezos said that the first thing comes up is is Jeff Bezos a Jew What I wanted to say was I was doing a big purge and I was getting rid of a lot of Like things that we had for a big plastic things that she out grew that I don't that I never like a gate

That I never was able to use like that kind of thing Someone gave it to me. I'm like, okay, I was going to put outside my neighbor has a baby. So they were like, oh, great. So they were taking like a bunch of the stuff that we were parting with that we didn't think we were needed to. Yeah, we have a baby as well. But you don't need all my trash.

By the way, I don't like your trash. Well, no, this is an easy way for. By the way, we're just getting rid of a lot of the zero through six months. Oh, yeah. Or three to six months. See, it happens so fast. Yeah. Well, so it was great because I was like, I was holding on to so many things thinking, maybe

I'll want it later. And then just I finally admitted about a lot of these things. I don't want it. But then it was great because my neighbor was like, oh, we could use all this stuff. So it was like, it felt very purposeful. Like, I was like, great. I don't need to have it anymore. And you can use it right now and then do it every one of it.

And that's my point is we should only make one of everything. Everything. Yeah. And we all just like a community level. Yeah. As a tangent, I just joined this like, by Purge Cell group, like mom. You have me.

And it's like giving away or selling for like $5 like kids stuff. And I'm like, so excited about it. So I'm like, I want to do more of that instead of buying all this stuff new. But I put outside this, I had this lamp, like I had a set of lamps that I had kind of been keeping forever that I really didn't have a spot for. It was like a nice quality lamp,

but it was getting kind of dirty. And I was kind of like, oh, whatever. I just put it, I was kind of just trying to go, just stop holding on to everything and just put it outside. Someone will come and take it. Because you know, people just going on the street, they'll take, if it's a good trash.

And my fucking neighbor took different neighbor, not these people. Oh, not that, yeah. No, this trash. And my fucking neighbor took different neighbor, not these people. Oh, not the other guy. Took my fucking neighbor. He told me he's a junk collector, okay? The lamp isn't junk, I actually kind of, well, I'll tell you. He and his son have this business.

He says he's always fainting hard. He was standing looking at my pile of stuff. And he was kind of like, I collect junk. So just so and so and so. He's kind of mentioning people down the street. I don't know them, but he's like, they also like to collect junk. So he's like, can I have this, can I have this?

He's kind of taking home. I was like, how about it? Do whatever you want. I don't care at all that he wanted to take this stuff. What I do care about is that he has left, he has piles of stuff in front of his house. And now my stuff is in his piles. And I look at it every day, and I'm so annoyed,

because I'm like, because you wanted to get rid of it. Well, I wanted to, now I see that lamp every day. And I'm either like, give it back, because now I'm like, I think I can make you work. Or just put it, it's getting ruined by the elements. I'm like, I don't understand. And then I had this frame of this art

that we kind of took apart. And then there was this frame and we were like, Mike was gonna break it up. And he's like, oh, let's leave it. This man has now taken that and is using it as a sort of gate that he has to get around every day. But it's like not useful at all in that way. It has huge holes.

No, it was like an art canvas. But it has a huge holes in it. It wouldn't protect nothing from going in or out. Yeah. And now that's there and I'm looking at that every day, going like, this is actually a problem because I was trying to get rid of stuff. And now I'm like, this man is keeping it all and showing me every day. Do you think he's trying to recreate the inside of your home in his yard from the inside

out? It's like, it's actually really maddening. All right, we have to take a break. Okay. Okay. All right, we're back. All right. We're back.

Jeff Bezos is the executive, he is the executive chairman now. He's HBIC. He is no exactly. He's no longer the president. Do a little boy. He's no longer the president, no longer the CEO. He is the executive chairman. What about the I don't care about that. What about the previous three questions? Okay, let's find out if Jeff the killer. I need to know who that is. And I need to know everything about Jeff the killer. Tell me now. Call me now. Did you watch that documentary? Oh, he's a great reason to go anywhere. Which one? The Clio, Ms. Clio.

Oh, no. Oh, let's disappointing. If anyone wants to hear the reveal, and if you don't want to hear, you could hit four to 15 seconds. If you don't want to hear the twist, I guess, of this thing. Starting, she's dead. Now, she's a lesbian. Who cares? Was that it? That was like a big twist at some point.

I went, I don't care. I never thought about her sexuality. I'm more intrigued about if she's scamming. It was like, it was such a weird, like sort of like, and it was like this nice ending with her having a girlfriend. I was like, so, yeah, it's weird. It's like they got into this.

They just had to do this documentary in a day. And I'm like, oh, there's no story here. Oh, shit. Oh, she's got a hot girlfriend. Jeff, the killer is a fictional character in the online horror fiction subjong creepy pasta. He is depicted as a pale, no-sless man with non-black hair and a joker-esque grin. Okay, I'm scared.

I'm scared. Well, you know for his pre-murder catch phrase, go to sleep. Mm-hmm. You don't think so? I'm scared. Jeff the Killer, origin and history at dictionary.com. What?

No, no, no. Thanks, Dixit. What is the dictionary? What is the dictionary getting involved with Jeff the Killer? He leaves the dictionary out of it. He's the definition of a killer. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, It's me, Jess. It's creepy pasta. It's creepy pasta. It's creepy pasta, a children's world. How would I know? Meaning, so maybe it's been Google to 10 because there's a lot of kids wondering if Jeff is real.

It must be, right? Yeah. Yeah. Somebody asked, is Jeff the killer real and still alive. Can you imagine having Google as a child? I would have now everything. I know. I know. I opened penises. It's so wait.

So many answered, yes, Jeff the killer is real. And whether or not he is alive, I don't know. He was last seen in 2011 that being said, no one really knows if he is alive, but I think he still might be out there. Okay. That's just scary. That's scary. Good answer. Good answer. Good answer, good answer.

Good answer, good answer. I wonder what came show you're gonna be on. Yeah, you'll have to wait and see. What came show could you be on? Wheel of Fortune probably. Are you gonna be on is it cake? I would love to do is it cake? Check out this, is this cake?

I'm not gonna touch you. You will. You will. You will not trick me. You will not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me.

You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not trick me. You are not But we can do them like yeah, space it out. Yeah, I'm time right now. Yeah. You're not nine years, but yeah, yeah, we stood every nine years. So for your type in is Jeff Probe's you get married, then you get is Jeff Probe sick? Sick. Well, like, what do you mean? We're all like today creeping towards death. Is that what they mean? He's been married a couple of times. Sorry.

A couple of times. He was married to Shelley Wright from 1996 to 2001. Didn't work out. This is pre-survival. Well, Survivor started in 2000. Yeah. Oh, so then he was like, I don't need you anymore. Shelley Wright.

I'm famous now. Shelley, wrong for me. And then he's now married. He's still married to Lisa N. Russell as of 2011. I'm sorry. Congratulations, Jeff. We love you. We love you and Godfills.

He's going on 12, 15 years without lovely lady. And you know what else? I think I looked at the killer too. Well, I'm attracted to him based on the description. I like these smiles. I like it too. I think that's nice. Plus, no, no takes a few more muscles to have a smile carved in your face.

Instead of a frown. Yeah, that's right. No no's, he can't smell like your gabyo or fart. Is Jeff Dunham married? He couldn't smell my ground turkey. He's Jeff Dunham married. He's also been married twice. You might be a redneck if you married a Judd Dunham.

He was married to Page Dunham, different 19. He's a man. But still true. True. He was married to Page Dunham, different 19th and 19th. But still true. He was married to Page Dunham from 1994 to 2010. And he's been married to Audrey Mirdick since 2012. That's great. And the picture of Jeff is with him and Ahmed the Terrorist.

That's great. That's great. I forgot about that. That's great. I'm so that. That's great. I'm just this is look I just have a picture by myself. Nope. Get off me. In there. Oh my god. I'm really happy for it. I'm the killer is married. It'd be tough because he would cause to be going honey, go to sleep. And he's like, yeah, don't murder me. Trying to think of how many reality recap. Yeah. Well, a million dollar listing is really great this season. I will throw that one in there. Oh, yeah. I switched my TV provider. So I no longer

have money. Let's talk about that. Not right now, but I'd let's know about that later. It doesn't say if he's married, but it does say he is an adolescent serial killer and registered creepypasta. So he kills the rats on the registry. He killer and registered creepypasta. Wait, he kills adults on the registration. He's a registered creepypasta. So if you move into a neighborhood in your registered creepypasta, do you have to go door to door and tell everyone? I am a creepypasta. Also go to sleep.

I have a record. I think he is an adolescent. Oh, thank God. He's an adolescent who is a serial killer. But shouldn't you be thinking God if you did get it? Because there are probably- I pretty much think everyone's a pervert and I try to stay away from them.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Good. Yeah. Jeff was just figured after being set on fire while fighting a gang of bullies and lost his sanity. He lost his sanity when he was on fire. The being set on fire made him- It burned his sanity.

No fighting the bullies made him lose his sanity. I'm trying to raise that. Are they still going on fire? I'm going to find you. Are they something of fire? I'm putting crazy over here. It's honestly so stressful. Oh my God, wait, how was, did you go to the, did you go to the Galentines Pickleball game? No, I did not get it.

It looked fun, I didn't go. And why didn't you go? Well, because I, you know, I sort of, I was sort of like, I have a child, you know? I don't like it. I don't like it. Well, you know what, I actually don't know what I think about Pickleball. But then Jessica massaged me and she of like, I have a child, you know? I don't care. I would buy that. Well, you know what? I actually don't really think about pickleball.

But then Jessica massaged me and she was like, why weren't you court side next time? And then I said, you know what, next time I would be court side. I feel like you're letting this friend group bully you. Yeah. I'm scared of them. You are, you've talked about how you admire them.

I do admire them. But I don't think you want their kind of tough love. I'm scared, I'm scared and ready. Now that I'm making you be places. No, I mean, honestly, I felt honored that she said I should have been there. I felt like, you know, I'm not, I'm not main friend group here. I'm kind of like tertiary side. But just to get out of here. You're supporting character. I'm a supporting character in there. Like 100%. Yeah, I'm like, I'm like a sort of co-star. You're like the gun. I have two lines of me 10 episodes.

You're 28 on the call sheet. So you think Gunther's probably how, how down was Gunther on the call? I don't know. Gunther's been, Gunther's been, I've been, who's seven, how through 11? Through 11. Through 11.

Through 11. Through 11. Okay, so you think he's like number six, no seven? He's six above that LeBlock. He's number seven. I love to see. No, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who else could, who I guess during quarantine. And we went to his memorial service at Hollywood Forever, and it was wonderful.

That's nice. It was a real, it was like one of those, it was a real celebration. It was outdoors. It was a beautiful day. Yeah. There was like music play like he said he wanted his, he knew he was going to die and he wanted his service

to be a big party. And it really was. It was a one of his, I'm like, you know, this is a person I never met in my life. But to, I felt like wanted his service to be a big party and it really was. It was a one of his, I'm like, you know, this is a person I never met in my life, but I felt very privileged to witness the outpouring of love that was being, that was on display.

Do you think you'll get one? A funeral like that? I only think about it every day. If you ever died, I don't know that you will. I think your funeral would be really fun. I think it would be. I think it would be. People laughing.

I'm saying. I am selling. It's key. There. Hold me to that. I'm going to have a man selling ice cream. I'll help make sure that happens because I will die after you because I'm younger. That's right. And you're a woman. Yeah. Here's what I have a man selling ice cream. My few. I'll help make sure that I'm, because I will die after you because I'm younger. That's right.

And you're a woman. Yeah. Here's what I have found. A friend's with benefits, call sheet. I will look at that. Number one, Ryan Hansen. What? Who's that?

He's, he was in Veronica, but I mean, that's not the same movie I'm thinking of. I think I should cook her and. No, I don't think this is a movie. I think it's a television program. Oh, fuck, buddy. Okay. And then I would need my glasses, so it would be up. So wait, we're just looking up call sheets, right?

Well, I looked up friends call sheets. No, yeah, let me see, friends. Here's we're gonna do friends call sheet, Jennifer Aniston. I've watched it. There we go, here's an X-Files call sheet. Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh Um, we fucking got you fucking got me aren't you glad that you'd do this show so you know what Rick Rollig is? I love it. I never would have known I so yeah, I just some bounce back. I do feel like I have I'm a I'm a what I am a That was not me. I gotta take my pill that's apparently now because

Everything's going through my computer when we record if I get a text apparently that happens We do not disturb. I'm not doing it. Did you just touch the screen of that? Oh, I pressed mute. Oh, it looked like you were touched. I was like, that doesn't work that way. Sweetheart.

What? Wow. Hey, dear. I was gonna mute you, Pope. Did you find a friend, Paul? Did you find a friend, Paul? I didn't. There's too much.

The word friends is too general. Yeah. That's a note for that show. Yeah. I just put in friend sheet. But I do think I'm 28th on the call sheet if not lower on the deep dive friends. I think it's a great idea to make call sheets for every friend group you can think of. And then they should have everything you invite people to. It should be their call, they should have a call sheet for all of their events. And then they tell call time and wardrobe.

Oh my gosh. Then they have a stylist name, they have the makeup in here. They have to call them for hair makeup. That's right. I wouldn't be shocked if they had that for the Valentine's pickup all turn. They should. Safety orientation. I love the idea of a call sheet for a party. Yeah.

That's actually kind of cute. If it was like a TV themed, then somebody's going to take it seriously though. Like why my number's 17? Yeah, right. Yeah, you can't get caught up in the numbers. I'm happy to be 28 or lower. Absolutely. I love when you're on a show, you guest on a show that's been on for a million years and

you're like, you're a number of 500 and two. Yeah, on Orange's New Black, I was like number 41. There were so many sort of people. So many people. Yeah, so many moving people. Mm-hmm. So fun. I was like number 41. There were so many sort of so many people so many moving people So fun. I've never been on a show. Wow. How does that feel on your heart? That Sarah Silvering program. Yes. I was on that twice two different characters Show you had a call sheet. I'm sure sure about how we did I even know how they just told you to show up tomorrow And I did some of that show was like yeah, you were read them. Or they just told you to show up tomorrow. I think I did.

Someone's that show was like, you were already there. Yeah. It was like, so you're in this. So much of that show was us trying to figure out show business from people not giving us any clues. But that's honestly, that's how it is, I think, across the board. There's no one explaining anything and you just have to show up and hope you figure something out.

That's life, baby. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. life. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I was thinking about?

Tell us. I drove past a Jack in the box and I was thinking about how you were talking about Jack in the box and that fries situation. That was awesome. That was Carl's Jr. But thank you so much for thinking of me. Oh, damn. I appreciate that I made a lot of memories.

Sorry, I didn't know. It's a surprise. It's going to sound like my brain is even more just centered on myself because I was thinking about how I forgot that I was in a Jack in the box commercial and I was thinking why didn't I ever think of that when you were talking about what's cause you were saying Carl's junior in the entire year. Yeah, what did you did you play Jack?

No, I didn't. I was the premise of the commercial. The Jack, the premise of the commercial. I didn't. He directed the commercial. He did. Oh, cause the guy with the voice directed all the commercials. That's what a sweet. I remember any kind of they're talking about that.

I got casting himself and he's like, I don't know why just keep hearing this voice in my head. Specific voice. It's like the jeopardy guy. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Jeopardy producer. Yeah, I love how it's the lead. What is it? I shut down. Well, to replace Alex Trebek, the producer of the show finally cast himself. Oh, that was so crazy. That was really funny. The premise of my commercial was that they were finally serving breakfast all day and other people were going. That was a curse for me.

I was in the drive through, along with many other cars as we were experiencing going to our other fast food places and finding that they no longer serve breakfast. So I'm screaming and sobbing in my car because they don't serve breakfast all the day. And you're a lunatic. And I'm insane. And then it was opera music playing over us in slow-mo while we all screamed and cried in the cars. And then they're like, don't worry, we have it all day.

And how do you feel about it after? I feel great. You feel good? Yeah. Worth a while? Worth your time? It was absolutely worth my time, yes, yes. It was one step to quitting babysitting.

So from babysitting to Jack at the Box, we should have at least done it. We now have an intermediate step. Yeah. What was your favorite Super Bowl commercial? My favorite one, God Paul, do we decide on a favorite? I think I like the Will Ferrell one the most because I like the Farrah. That was the least objectionable one.

I've had the Dunkin' Donuts one. It's funny. I actually didn't see that one. I have to watch that. But it's like the thing that I thought it was funny. You're not allowed to say he didn't think that. Can I tell you something about Dunkin' the Bice? he didn't think that. Can I tell you something about Drunk in the Bice?

Back in, I'm going to say my late 20s, early 30s, when I was drinking all the time, I would get drunk. One bill makes you a lot. We all did. We all did. My go to when I was drunk was to get two breakfast sandwiches from Jack in the box. And maybe if I was lucky, I wouldn't eat both of them that night. Maybe there would be one in the morning. Yeah, that's a good.

But as often as that, I would eat both of them that night. Yeah. I got drunk the other night and I couldn't read. Congratulations. And it was to the point where I was where I was going to throw up in the Uber on the way. Oh no. And then I was but I focused and I was fine. You were driving in Uber. I was driving. Yeah. And I got home and sort of. Let me see the back of your head. Why would it look like? I think you drove me in your Uber.

Back of my you pass me the ox Uber. Back of my- You passed me the ox. That's psycho. I just fell off the couch. What did I Jeff the killer over here? Sort of did that thing where I kind of like- Go to sleep. Stumbled around my house making different decisions of like how many pretzels I believe those here.

I'm gonna do that some of that. And then like I actually went to bed with my makeup on which I never do. And you look so good the morning. I love to be beautiful when I woke up. And just the Joker take his makeup off. I wonder. It's a good question.

He seems to have nice skin. I think it's getting really crackly. I honestly, other than the Heath Ledger version, I thought his face was naturally like that. Yes, I thought so too. I thought so too. I thought so too. Anyway, it was a fun. It was a fun time. I actually was like really had a great night. What can you say what the occasion was? I went to a housewarming

party. Yeah. Yeah. It was a fun house. It was fun. And it was a fun mix of people that I don't always see. So I had a lot of nice condos. Nice, nice. I like that. That's the time. Do you hear any gossip? Let me think. Yeah. Okay, we have to take a break.

Lauren's gonna tell us the gossip. We'll be right back. We'll tell us a gossip. Oh my God. Oh That was fun that happy I was looking up on me. I love day drinking You love that jingy Okay, so we looked for Lawrence Jack in the box commercial and instead we found a video where she's making fun of drunk driving I don't know. That's an old web series. So typing in Jack in the box breakfast all day You get a lot of people reviewing Jack in the box man

There's so many there's so many what What could be the difference in any of the things that they're saying? I really don't know. This commercial might be hard to find. I found the YouTube link. It is now unavailable. Really? Yep.

Dang. So sorry, no longer available because the YouTube account associated with this video has been terminated. Oh God. Wow. Execution style. with extreme prejudice. So sorry. Sorry, everyone. You can't see it, but you know what? That's for the best. Shouldn't everything be online all the time? Agreed.

Yeah. I think everything should be deleted. Almost start over. Okay. I think that seems better. Why do I do that? Everything to porn hub. Yes. It's everyone knows it. It's got a hub of name. Yeah. He all love it. The number one place. Put that new back girl movie up there. Is it time for a threcha? Oh my god. It is. Or a voicemail. What do you want to do? Oh voicemail. Let's do voicemail. Yeah. you want to do? Oh voicemail? Oh, let's do a voice million. Yeah, we're not a little snack here. I'm gonna have if you would like to call us, you can call us at, uh, Hag claims eight. Hmm. Uh, all right. So let's see. How do I do this? Oh boy. You did it before. I know. But there, okay, here's the problem. He put them all in one file.

Okay, all right, I'm skipping to this one. All right, here we go. Hey, three and a boy. I don't have a funny question. Okay, bye. No, that's good. All right. I like it when it's not funny.

Yeah. Hey, three and a boy. I don't have a funny question. I was just curious if any of you ever have like anxiety or if you've ever had like a panic attack on stage while performing and you have how you go about hiding it or how you deal with it. Yeah, I don't know. Just curious if you guys ever have to deal with that. Yeah, I don't know. Just curious if you guys ever have to deal with it.

Thanks, bye. Thank you. Oh, bye. Bye. Thank you so much. You know, it's hard when you're on stage and you start getting nervous or because like your breathing gets really shallow

and it's very difficult to do the necessary thing because you're expected to talk, like I'm talking about when you're doing standup. If suddenly you start getting a fuck I'm bombing and you start getting nervous, it's very difficult to recover because your breathing is getting more shallow, but you have to be talking at the same time.

So the best thing you can do is put yourself in a mind state where you don't give a shit beforehand. Yeah, I don't think I've ever had a panic attack on stage or something, but I've definitely felt like anxious. But I never, I don't know. I feel like, although I've bombed plenty,

I don't know that it ever felt panicky in that way. It felt more like you just have to keep going. It just, it just, it's me. You had good material. My, well, my material sucks. I did not always. My memory of that feeling like from the earliest days when it was, when I did not have the, the skills that I have now was that it just felt bad.

It felt like scary, like, oh no, this is, it just felt humiliating. Like this is bad and I have to keep, and I can't just leave. That's the fact that it's more just like, it feels bad, but it's not, my, your brain's aware that it's bad. You just can't stop.

Because you have to keep going. Of course, I have a famous story and you could hear it on Libre and Under Delusions, one of my albums about doing a New Year's Eve show where people through Iced at me. Wow. But I still did my time. Wow.

And then realize later I probably could have left and no one would have said anything. Well, the other part of, by the way, that was Carrie. The other part of her question was, have you ever had a panic attack? Yes. I don't think I ever had that.

I've had one or maybe two. I would know it right. I can't say. I was doing a show. I'm having it right now. You look great. I know. See? I can keep it. No, it's horrible. I don't want to speak about that. Okay. Thanks for your question. Here's this is Shannon. I think here we go. Hi Scott Paul Lauren in no particular order. Oh, but we got it was noted I was calling because I got into a big argument with my boyfriend Because I was buying a gift certificate for someone from a restaurant and he invited that person along To go get it. What what and he did not see the problem in there and to be argument. What?

Sorry to have you. Hold on, I want to back. No, no, no. You're wrong. I forbid it. I forbid it. I forbid it. I forbid it.

I forbid it. I forbid it. I forbid it. I forbid it. I forbid it. I forbid it. I forbid it. I forbid it.

I forbid it. I forbid it. I forbid it. I forbid it. I forbid it. I forbid it. during the time of the gift getting. Okay, love ya, bye. Yeah, he's totally wrong. Why would you invite that person? It seems weird. They can watch you buy the thing and then you hand it to them. Maybe that's their kink. Where are you kinkshaming this guy? I don't, I think she probably would have said

if it was this kink. He wants to watch you buy this. What's the cuck my gift? It does, but it also is a great TV show. I've got my gift. I feel like for the person who gives the gift, it does sort of, it cheapens it. It cheapens it for them.

Yeah. It doesn't feel special. It feels like, first of all, that person had to do the errand of going to the place. Because it's all right. Why not just give me money? If we're going to be here together. Yeah.

Why don't you just buy it for me? Here's my question. Why is this a fight? Like, why could I think? I can't you why this is a fight? No, why? Why? If you ask and say, why do you want to do that? And he can't explain it. Then you have a communication problem where this person cannot communicate. Well, like, if you're like, you're saying what we have here is a failure. My question also was, did they, did they go have food or no, they just went to the restaurant to buy the gift card

and then they were gonna go do something else together? That's insane. You can't bring the person on the errand of their own gift. Also, you can say that's unacceptable to me and say, oh no, I wanted this to be a secret. So the person can come in the car as long as we keep it a secret if that's why I'm going to the thing.

I think a great way to avoid a fight is to say things like that's unacceptable to me. Yeah. Yeah, I'll keep it real nice. No, but what I guess what I'm trying to say Paul is like don't be afraid to say your own feelings about how you feel about something. I agree with that. And where your boundaries are. Well, it sounds like she did not have an issue with that. anyway drop him well we settle that one Here this is Natalie Okay Hello

I love their all-edit thank you Like you You promised to tell jury duty story no we didn't and then you didn't promised that hurts an opportunity To give us jury duty stories story. No, we didn't. And then you promised that hurt. Oh, opportunity to give us jury duty stories. Go. Oh, how's possible there are stories we haven't told already? If we didn't talk about jury, I must have missed an episode. I got jury duty once. When I was, well, that I actually went to like

other times, I deferred it and they didn't call me back. Or you know what I did? No, one more recently I called in trying to go and then they just kept saying I wasn't needed until it ran out and then I wasn't needed. Like I actually was doing my due diligence. But I got jury due and I was like 21 or something and I was in Chicago and I went and I remember I went and sat there and just like I had like my book and my snacks and then I filled out some forms like they didn't they never interviewed me and then I was at home and that was the end.

There you go. Yeah, how are you? I have gone twice. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. One time I went and I got um excused because they prefaced it by saying this is going to be a long trial. So you got to get your affairs in order. And it was during pilot season. This is back out of will. This was back when I, yeah, you might die here. That fucking each other. Um, uh, it was, this, this was back when I was a working actor and it was pilot season. And I was like, I had to write out a letter and say, this is the time of year where I try to find work. There's also the, the back of the days when there was a pilot season, right? And, um, I can't, I, you know, if I don't get it, if I don't get a job within this time, I probably won't get a job.

And I was mortified. I was like, this judge is gonna yell at me. You think you are better than I think I'm said to. Judges love to yell at me. And so I had to wait through selection or something. I don't know, through selection, but there was another address that the judge gave to everybody and then afterwards said that I was excused and I was so relieved. And then the second time I did it, I was chosen and I sat on a trial and it was a

real bummer of a trial. I think we've, you and I, we may have talked to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We made some talk to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it lasted about a week and it ended in a hung jury, and we were all dismissed. What? Any jury with you as a hung jury. Thank you. I just remembered I had a court date years ago, and totally forgot. Lala.

I think from one of my car accidents, but I'm trying to remember. And you never went. No, I went. I was like, I think I was in high school, and but I'm trying to remember. And you never went? No, I went. I think I was in high school and I had to go to court with my dad. And then they made me feel really bad. And I was like, I thought, So your dad took you to this Native American thing and he took you to court. Yeah.

Right dad. Yeah. And I had the judge had to, like, I talked to them about what I did and what happened. And then they told me what I had to do because I had to go to drive a driving school or traffic school. Yes, yes, yes. And. And then you got a comedy traffic school. It was hilarious. And I felt so ashamed and horrible and scared. Sure. Yes, terrifying. Yeah. Okay. I was so terrified when I was, I know I've told the story before, but I got arrested for smoking on the subway when I was like 18 years old. And I was issued a court date and I didn't go.

And then mail started coming to the house saying, a bench warrant has been issued for your arrest. And my mom is saying, what is this? And I'm like, I don't know, it's crazy. Did she not know you smoked? Is that why you wanted to keep it secret? Or is it she knew? I think she knew I smoked,

but I did not tell her that I was arrested. Yeah. And then I tried to go one day, I think I tried to go on the day and I couldn't find the building. Yeah. And then... This is before Google.

This is before Google and before I knew any fucking thing. And I just then, I just didn't go. Like I just didn't go. That's such a move. And then, yeah, and I got like a few more... I can't find it for good. I got a few more summons is... But that was like how I dealt with things was like just

total shut down. Yeah, I can't. This is too big for my too much for me to. Yeah, I'm just not going to deal. Yeah, just not going to deal with what goes away. And guess what? It did. Wow. Because I feel like I would have gone into some building. I'm like, can you help me? But did it get arrested? Did it hang over your life for like eight years like where you constantly thought about it? Cause I had a warrant. I think I thought about it for probably a year and then nothing happened in a kind of way.

And I was like, this is such a, I think I also was assured by people like, they're not gonna fucking try to find you in a recipe. Yeah, yeah. I had a warrant for probably seven years or something like that for like a speeding ticket or whatever. Mm-hmm.

Where I, same thing, I couldn't find the corda ha, like, and it just, I ended up not going and- You're in aptitude saved you both, both of them. Yeah. No, but my thing is, anytime I drove, I was- My competence and my cowardice. They came through. Anytime I drove, I was so paranoid about it of, like, getting pulled over, then calling

the warrant, then they empowered my car, they did it in the jail for years, for years and years and years and years. And then finally I went in and dealt with it one day. And it was like the judge, I went before the judge and it was, it took me like a half hour. He basically like called me up and said, why didn't you deal with this? I said, I don't know. He said, okay, well, I'm going to reduce the thing

and you reduce it down to 100. I was like, I didn't have the money. He reduced it down to 100 bucks. I was like, all right, get out of here. It was so simple that I was like, why have I been under this massive cloud for years and years when I could have just taken care of it? Then you also hear shit like,

you go there and the cop won't show up and so it's dismissed or whatever. Oh yeah, I think that happened to my thing. The other thing I read is when no couples are over and uses radar you're supposed to say. And when was the last time that was calibrated, sir? And they have to write it on the ticket route. I don't know.

You know, I guess my cop had to show because I had to go to drivers. I love what people's advice is to be an asshole to the cop. Yeah. I know what you say to him is you pay his salary. Well, also, we should just say don't talk to cops. Don't ever give them any. Don't answer any of their questions.

That's right. So my one jury duty story was, I have the same thing where I kept deferring because I remember I was working on Sharktail at the time. I'm like, literally the movie's opening, I can't do this. And they're like, well, you have to do it at some point. I was like, yeah, but no, no. And they're like, no, you can defer. Okay, let's do it.

But the last time I did it was in Burbank and have I not told this story? But I don't know. Apparently we haven't. I got there was a group of a hundred of us. And first of all, my friend's Scott Ocarman's yes the person on trial was me. Oh no. Was Jeff the killer of the jury. But so there was they got a hundred and they were looking for I think they were looking for like either 24, cause of 12 alternates or 16 or something.

I got it. So my friend who was a judge said, hey, when you're filling out the form of all your information and it asks what you do for a living, write down every single thing you do, like podcast podcast or, you know, actor, like every single job or hobby you have because then you look like an insane person. Bobby?

Yeah. You said, you look like an insane person to the judge and they'll get rid of you, right? Oh. So I did that. And then they actually sell. Yeah. Yeah. It sounds unhinged and like you make no money doing any of the things.

But in these days of the side hustle. Oh my gosh. It's a lot of looting for us that it used to be. But so I did that, but it's, but it didn't, they didn't get rid of me. And so this is a two day thing. So the first day they passed out these like badges and the judge admonished everyone. He says, you are going to need these badges every single time you come in here.

And if you do not, this is the most important thing in your life. If you do not have this badge when you come in, you're going to be chewed out by me from the match, right? So everyone like had to had to have these with curse words. Yeah.

Like, I'm going to roast you to fill a defrostile. It's going to be like a caricature artist on the boardwalk. curse words. Yeah. Like, I'm gonna roast you to feel jifro style. It's gonna be like a caricature artist on the boardwalk. So that was how we started and then. Did you lose it? Oh, let me get to this. I like to jump ahead. So we hear what the the trial is going to be about, what it's what the type of thing it's going to cover. And he starts interviewing people numerically. I was number 60 something, right? He starts with number one, and he starts just interviewing people, saying like, here's what the trial is going to cover. Will you have a problem being impartial? And it was very interesting because people immediately,

like if they didn't want on the jury, they would go like, yeah, I would have trouble being impartial. And it was very interesting because the judge kept steering them into, out of politeness, they felt like they couldn't. Because he's like, no, you could be, he kept steering them into like going like, yeah, you're right. I can do it, I can do it.

And there was only one guy who was like, absolutely not. I cannot be impartial. And he interviewed him for 15 minutes going, but if this happened surely, you could put aside those things. Nope, I would never be able to do that. I cannot be impartial in this story. And finally, after 15 minutes of just excruciating things,

he goes, all right, you're free to go. And it was like, damn, that guy actually like, with steward 15 minutes of grilling. Oh, yeah. He did it. Yeah, yeah. So I get, by the way, this is the day that I wrote that letter for you. I don't know if you remember this with your old manager. I don't. On my lunch break, your old manager called me to write an email on your behalf.

And I only had a 45 minute lunch break. Oh, what a hero. I wrote an email for you. on your behalf. Well, let's get into that later. I only had a 45 minute lunch break. Oh, what a hero. I wrote an email for you. But so Kool-Up picks me up in her car, which is a pristine car, has nothing at no trash in it or anything like that. We get home. She picks me up because we're going to a restaurant.

We go to the restaurant, we go home. And then I'm looking to go to the next day, I'm looking for this badge and I can't find it. And I'm like, hey, cool up, can you look in your car for the badge? Because I can't find this badge. She looks in and it goes, it's not here, I've looked everywhere for it. It's not here. I go, I'm fucking in trouble. So I go the next day. And this judge, like, you have to have the badge to get into the room and whoever doesn't have the badge doesn't get in the room. And so like I get put off to the side and he just tears into me and he's like, what did I tell you yesterday

that you had to have this badge? What happened to it? I said, I'm just like mortified because the other thing is another juror like recognize me. It I'm such a big fan No, I'm being like shoot out in front of a fan. I'm like I lost it sir Your honor Whatever I call you and he and he just like yells at me for a while I'm just like saying they're taking it going fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck so They they get all the people they need before they ever get up to 60, whatever. And so we're all like, oh, at the end of the second day.

Just having curiosity, I go to Cool Up's car. It's sitting right there in the car. What? How did she miss it? I don't know. Oh my God. Let's see. Did not see that coming at all.

Oh my God. Wow. Do you think the person who called and left this message was the one who saw you get chewed out and wants you to tell that story? You had said you promised a year ago that you would tell a story about journey duty. It was so emasculating.

I'm a 40-whatever-year-old man being yelled at by another 40-year-old man for losing a piece of paper that's been laminated. Yeah, that's so sucks. Oh, and then the other thing was, as I'm leaving, I see a little wall of celebrities who have done jury duty, and there's a weird owl going, ah, that shouldn't be celebrated.

Isn't that weird? Yeah. Ow. All right, well. Well, running out of time for this episode, who's your judge friend? Is it Judy? Yeah.

All right. I peed on her leg once. Do you sell it for any? I know, I told her it was P. Okay, thank God. Good. Mm-hmm. Don't make the mistake on your leg.

We have to go. But look, if you're still listening to this, you're probably in for the long haul, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you for sticking it out. This is our last episode. And until next week and we should say, until next week. Yeah.

But this is our final episode until we come back next week. Yeah, series finale of episodes that end now. Yes. Series finale of this week's episodes. Oh, okay. And we love you for listening. If you would like to. Anyway, if you ever listened to one of these episodes, the last two minutes or so, Lauren's on her phone looking, catching up on emails about me at all.

Yeah. Look, I was like, for these stats, and that's what I hear. There's Lauren's cool down period, and you respect it. I need it badly. But three to me, USA. We'd like to call us. It is, of course, Hagg claims eight, number eight. Of course. And three to me, USAGmail.com. You'd like to call us. It is of course, Hagg claims eight number eight. Of course. And three of us a Gmail.com. If you want to send us a feature idea of a little game we can play. We are three to me USA on the socials. And if you like to listen to add free versions of this podcast, you can do so at Stitcher Premium

or CBV World dot com. And until next time remember eat a peach and shoot the breeze. Hang it up. Bye. Hear love