Threedom - His Acting is Beautifully Portrayed
Episode Date: June 6, 2024Scott, Lauren, and Paul discuss going to the bathroom, purchases, and mice holes before playing One Word Story. Follow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA. Send Threetures and emails to threedomusa@gmail.co...m. Leave us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.com. Subscribe at cbbworld.com to gain access to every episode of Threedom ad-free as well as brand new Threemium episodes every other week! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hi, Freedom fans. If you're anything like me, and I really hope you are, got a world full of me's,
that would be so amazing. I would love it. You wouldn't like it all that much, but I would love
it. Anyway, if you are anything like me, even the tiniest, tiniest iota, you care about where your comes from, especially when it comes to quality cuts of meat.
And that is why I want to talk to you about ButcherBox.
Okay, ButcherBox, I got one yesterday.
It's so exciting when it comes in.
They deliver 100% grass-fed beef,
free-range organic chicken, pork-raised,
crate-free and wild-caught seafood, and raised, crate free and wild caught seafood.
And they deliver it right to your doorstep.
Not to your neighbor's house,
not to the library in the center of town.
You have to go drive to go pick it up.
No, right to your doorstep.
And with ButcherBox, you're not just getting convenience.
You are getting guaranteed quality, quality, quality.
Imagine this, all right?
The best cuts of meat, they're chosen by experts.
They're delivered frozen at peak freshness.
Just imagine it, did you?
Yeah, then you know what I'm talking about.
I've been cooking with Butcher Box Chicken for a couple of weeks now.
I got some ground beef. I got these beautiful steaks.
Everything is like night and day here. It's flavorful. It's tender.
I love everything. Plus, ButcherBox offers free shipping on all orders and exclusive member deals. Become a member.
Sign up for ButcherBox today by going to butcherbox.com slash
threedom and use the code threedom at checkout. Very easy to remember and
enjoy your choice of bone in chicken thighs, top sirloins or salmon in every
box for an entire year. Plus get $20 off again. That is butcherbox.com slash
threedom and use code freedom.
Tired of not being able to get a hold of anyone when you have questions about your credit
card?
With 24 seven US based live customer service from discover, everyone has the option to
talk to a real person.
Limitations apply.
See term to discover.com slash credit card. Guard. Freedom!
Are you okay? Me?
Freedom!
Yeah, you.
Oh my God, there's something wrong with Paul.
He's in a freedom!
Oh my God!
There's something right with Paul.
Yeah.
The freedom is right within him.
Hey, welcome to Freedom, I'm Paul.
I'm Scott.
I'm Lauren. And listen, before we get into anything else new business new business new rules
What do we do new rules at the beginning of our show?
We do minutes and treasuries. Oh minutes and treasuries
When you were in a club we had to be the treasurer
I know you had to be the secretary. That was the worst. You had to write down everything.
No, I like being secretary.
We talked about this, I know.
Have we?
I was secretary.
We've talked about this?
Why did we?
I don't know.
Because I ran for student council in fifth grade
for secretary and I got it.
We did not have a government in our grade school.
So it was anarchy?
It was pure anarchy.
It was like the purge.
I'm the only one who survived.
It does make you wonder what the fuck we were talking about because we had no power.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What were we meeting about?
I know.
We didn't have like a, like in high school, we didn't have like a model UN or anything
like that. We didn't have student council. And I remembered recently that I was on it
in senior year.
Oh really? What, uh, in what capacity?
I was just-
You counseled the students?
Yes. When they needed advice.
You were that guy.
I was that guy.
We could do away with, you know, because...
School?
Yeah!
Yeah!
It worked!
All right.
We just share everything.
No, you're obsessed with this.
We just, we're just,
Oh no.
We share everything.
You want everyone to have money,
one dollar amount at birth.
That doesn't mean they're gonna share everything. Oh Although you wanted everyone to have one ration of toilet paper.
Stop listening to these episodes. You have an unfair advantage over us.
I know. There's something really different about listening to it versus being in it.
So true. I hope so.
Because it's not fun. I texted you guys the other night that I was listening to our most recent episode.
It was just, it starts off so frenetic and insane.
Yeah, I think we're doing it right now.
This feels like a slowed down version though.
But here's the new business.
We already had 10 topics in four seconds, but yeah.
I needed to, I needed to.
Did you even want to?
I was on after midnight. You needed to. I was on, I was on. Did you even want to? I was on after midnight.
Ooh.
You needed to be on that.
I needed to be on that or else it was a spher.
Your unquenchable thirst for fame.
And that'll do it.
And now I'm famous.
Yay!
I had an idea for a joke that involved
speaking in Minionese.
And so I've never seen any of those movies. That's all I knew was Banana. We were just watching one of them and Mike looked up a lot of Minionese. And so I've never seen any of those movies.
That's all I knew was banana.
We were just watching one of them
and Mike looked up a lot of Minionese.
I saw that on his Instagram.
But I, so I watched clips to get some quotes.
We also, by the way, Mike can just be an expert in anything.
You could have, you should have just asked me.
He speaks Minionese.
Well, I didn't know this at the time.
I know, but you can just assume
that Mike knows anything.
I don't want that the time I know but you can just assume
Well, I looked at some YouTube clips I
Look at some YouTube clips. Yeah, I fucking fell in love with these minions. These minions are funny. I've always said it I've been funny and they're adorable. Yes, there's no way around it. One of the greatest cartoon
They're funny and they're adorable. Yes.
There's no way around it.
One of the greatest cartoon creations
of the past few decades, as far as I'm concerned.
There's no way around it.
But you wanna push against them.
You wanna push back.
Well, when I saw the one in the thong,
I was like, come on, guys.
That's sick.
That shouldn't be happening.
That's like having Calvin piss on something.
Yeah.
It's very good.
It's depraved.
Really.
Because Calvin fights for all of us.
He is the voice of reason as well.
So if he's pissing on something, we're all pissing on something.
Oh my god, when you see his face when he's pissing, it's like he means it.
I like the stickers where he's pissing into a toilet.
It's like, hey, good reach.
Like, nice.
He's like a foot away from it too.
And he's looking at you.
But the last few drops, you know, go on the floor.
When I piss, I don't look at anyone.
You don't look at anyone?
Nope.
What if there's a mirror in front of you? Blindfold? Blindfold. Okay. I don't even want I piss, I don't look at anyone. You don't look at anyone? Nope. What if there's a mirror in front of you? Blindfold?
Blindfold.
Okay.
I don't even want to see a reflective surface.
I don't want, I don't, the water,
I don't want to see my face.
I don't want to see anybody else.
I lock eyes with the person next to me at the urinal.
There was a guy that I knew in Philly,
like my early standup days,
who had a bit that involved saying,
when you are a man going into a restroom,
you either look straight ahead
or you lock eyes with the guy next to you.
And I'm like, what?
Like he's saying this like, we all do it.
Yes, I saw him do this bit a million times.
I'm like, that's not true.
Like locking eyes is not one of the options.
No, it's nothing. I mean this weirdo probably does you try to look away
Yeah, you like this look down
Privates twice I meant private private private. Is there as much shame title for women?
Yeah, right.
People look.
If you're in a stall, it's not ideal that you have to take a shit and somebody's in
there.
It's like, yeah.
That crosses all genders.
Yeah.
But I think.
Because I just wondered if women are like, look, we all have an agreement.
It sucks in here.
Let's just make noise or whatever.
I think it should be that way.
Whereas it's not that way for guys. Actually, what's his name? I feel like it is that way for guys. It sucks in here. Let's just make noise or whatever. Whereas it's not that way for guys.
Actually, what's his name?
I feel like it is that way for guys.
It shouldn't be.
Eric Griffin had a funny...
I don't know which I prefer.
I remember seeing...
There should be apologies flying left and right
in public bathrooms.
Sorry, sorry.
I remember Eric Griffin, I used to go watch stand up with,
cause I had some stand up friends a while back
and I would end up at the comedy store,
which was always interesting evening where I started
Yeah, and Eric Griffin had a bit that made me laugh so hard at the time
But it was like all about how women should just go in the bathroom is go
We're the bathroom like that's all just like let saying that like, well, we're in the bathroom. Like, that's all just like, let it out. Like, let's go.
And then he was just doing much noises and I couldn't stop laughing.
But I think every
every establishment should have just one seaters everywhere.
Even if it's a stadium, you should have like 50 one seat.
No, you know, what was it?
I saw something about the Taylor Swift concert
that like the bathroom lines were amazing because there were many more women
than men to just kind of overtook the men's room.
And then the lines were zipping through because they had so many more options.
Yeah, that's the dream to be a man.
And suddenly, like 20 women come into the bathroom and you're like, whoa.
Well, OK.
No, the dream.
You know what they should do is have like a trough for piss for women.
Yeah, why not?
It's like they do for men.
We just squat over it?
Yeah, then we all just get around it.
Then we can all go faster.
Yeah, just get it.
Yeah, and we talk to each other.
Yeah, because there's so much like.
How's your piss going?
Going well, how's yours?
Great, thanks for asking.
Well done.
There's so much you guys have to do to like, you know, you gotta like.
We gotta take off our rompers and. Yeah.
There was, there was a guy.
Move your Spanx to the side.
There's a hole in them.
Oh, there's a hole in the Spanx, that's right.
All right.
I mean, Paul, you've been in this situation
where you're out of urinal and someone comes.
A uteral.
You're out of a uteral.
You're getting into a uterus.
And some guy comes in and just takes his pants all the way down to his ankles
Riskier move in terms of getting pee on yourself
I don't we're getting assaulted well
I don't okay
I don't see it as a a move to pull down your pants to save yourself from getting pee pee on your I don't know
I don't know what the psychology of I is. It sounds like something a little kid does
because they don't know any better.
Right.
But these are grown-ups.
Yes, exactly.
They never stopped doing it.
Yeah.
I had a pair of trousers that had like kind of a short zipper
and so I would have to open my pants to do it.
And I was always self-conscious about it.
Like, I'm not one of those guys.
I'm not one of those guys.
Like, that's a short zipper.
That's a short zipper.
Short zipper.
That's a short zipper.
That's a short zipper. Larry David. It zipper. It's a short zipper. Larry David.
It's not a pick.
I got to catch up on that.
I only watched the first couple of apps.
Of Seinfeld?
No.
I only watched the first two Seinfelds.
Curb your enthusiasm.
The first episode of the season, Tracy Alman is so funny.
She's so funny in it.
It's so great.
Why didn't they have me back?
Who did you play?
I played Larry's lawyer. You played, wait. I great. Why didn't they have me back? But who did you play?
I played Larry's lawyer.
I know. I wanted to.
L's L?
I played L's L.
And he thought I was wickedly talented.
L's L?
He being Jewish?
He thought I was Jewish, but I was secretly Swedish.
Oh, my lesson was Berg.
I feel like a lot of these characters are just one off jokes.
He's laughing at them.
People really liked that character. I know. But he's just sitting there like writing I feel like a lot of these characters are just one-off jokes. He's laughing at them.
People really liked that character.
I know, but he's just sitting there
like writing his little jokes on a script going,
ha ha ha, this'll be so funny.
It's famously improvised.
I had a great audition for that show.
I didn't get it, but.
What?
That's surprising to me.
I always felt sad I didn't get to go.
You should have been on that show.
Yeah, I was told I'd be on it a couple of times
and then it didn't happen. Love when that happens. I know, but I didn't get to go. You should have been on that show. Yeah, I was told I'd be on it a couple times and then it didn't happen.
Love when that happens.
I know, but I got to audition with Larry David.
That was fun.
I did not audition with Larry.
Yeah, that is fun.
I just got offered it.
Wow.
They were like, we don't wanna see you try.
Straight offer is such a small role.
No, no, Jeff Garland just gave it to me.
Oh. Which is nice. And then let me be in his trailer.
What was your part?
I was in the parking lot or something in the the the
I'm trying to make chicken episode.
Parking lot or something.
The chicken episode.
I don't know.
You played the chicken.
I thought you were a cop.
I was a cop who told I thought you were copping this.
Copping this.
I was a cop and told. I thought you were cop in this. Cop in this. I was a cop and then I made Larry laugh in one take
where I was like, he started asking me questions
about what was going on.
I said, sir, do you mind pulling up your window, please?
And he's like, like it was an official.
He's like, I don't what?
And he started laughing because it was such an insane request.
He's like, I don't have to do that.
What are you talking about?
That's fun. But it never made the episode.
What are you looking at?
I had a good time. The hell are these people carrying a body?
What is going on?
Someone coming in the backyard.
Looks like they're bringing a new tree.
The hell? Super heavy.
Is it a new tree?
These dudes are struggling with this.
It's a tree. It's a tree.
It's a fucking tree. It's my gardener, David. Hello, David. It was a tree. It's a tree. It's a fucking tree. It's my gardener David.
Hello David.
It was a tree.
It was a baby.
Any more on bathrooms?
You got more, you got more bits on bathrooms?
Any more bathroom etiquette things?
I think we're good.
Yeah.
What goes on in there, Lauren?
When I go to the bathroom?
Is there gossiping?
Yeah.
Even if you don't know anyone? It's like, hey, what gossip do you got?
Yeah, I'll go into like a public restroom and just start talking shit about people.
Give me gossip about your hometown.
That is a good icebreaker.
Use all names. It doesn't matter to me.
If you don't know someone and you go in and you have to meet them or you're just like,
give me some gossip like I don't have to know the people.
I that's just give me some gossip.
That is that's a great icebreaker.
I listen sometimes to the podcast, Normal Gossip,
which is just gossip from, it's anonymous sent in.
So and so did this to so and so.
It was fun to hear that.
Cause then you get to have an opinion about it
and there's no stakes.
I do love when somebody tells me a scandal
from their hometown.
Yeah. Do you have one? I'm trying to think if I have a good scandal. I mean love when somebody tells me a scandal from their hometown. Yeah.
Do you have one?
I'm trying to think if I have a good scandal.
I mean, of course you know about the teacher
that was cast in the.
Oh yes.
I brought it up to my friend, a teacher, the other day.
I don't want to say where, but.
Celebrity center.
And.
Your mentor.
Because we were talking about, you uh, challenges in the last couple
of years, uh, in, in teaching and due to, you know, like new standards being set and
stuff like that.
And I brought that up and he was like, that is the most insane story I've ever heard.
Even for back then, not like even now.
I thought of something I got in trouble back then.
Well, maybe give people a quick recap on what it is.
Yeah. Previously on Freedom.
We did a production of South Pacific at my Catholic high school and for some reason.
Was this on tape by the way because I want to see it.
Yeah, I'll send it to you.
Yeah.
You have the tape?
Yeah, you came across you were reminded of it because you were digitizing old video tapes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I even stick my finger in there.
Yeah, just to wind up the tape. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I stick my finger in there. Yeah. Just to wind up the tape?
Yeah, yeah.
Because pencils aren't big enough.
You were digitizing them,
meaning rubbing your digits,
your fingers all over the tape.
Yeah, yeah.
I was giving them my phone number.
Right.
You're crazy.
I know.
That tree's really doing a dance out there.
Where's it going?
Is it going in front of my wind?
Oh. We're all looking at the tree now. They're debating where to put it. Yeah.
It's making me kind of anxious in a weird way.
They're moving nature around.
Well, just like where they're going to put it.
They're playing God.
And you don't seem to know either. That's what's making me anxious.
I don't know if I love that placement. Because it's not right in the middle of the grass.
No, it's very strange.
Yeah.
No, it's not going there, guys. I grass. No, it's very strange. Yeah. No, it's not going there guys.
I think they're, they may be.
It's not going there.
It's not going there.
You didn't know they were moving it.
Suddenly you know what's going on.
I think they're taking these away
because they are poisonous.
They're dead.
Poisonous!
Or dangerous for babies or something.
We've been recording here for years.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
And they're replacing with other stuff.
That's, that's, I believe that was one of the things that with other stuff. That's what I believe.
That was one of the things that we talked about.
That does make sense.
And now there is some truth to what's going on here.
Some history.
Now they also may be putting it over there
next to a new tree that we put in,
which we got donations for.
God damn it, I don't care.
It has a plaque on it.
You don't care.
Why do you have donations for a tree in your yard?
Because it's like a gift to remember my father with.
Oh, well, that's nice.
Now you feel bad.
Well, you should have started.
You're the one who should feel bad.
You said you didn't care.
I asked questions.
But I was a little bit incredulous.
Trying to turn this around on Earth?
You screamed, like, shut the fuck up, basically. And I was a little incredulous saying. Trying to turn this around on her? I didn't think you would notice.
You screamed like, shut the fuck up, basically.
And I was a little incredulous saying,
why do you have that in your yard?
You guys caught that?
Oh yeah, we caught it.
I usually don't listen, but I caught that.
It was hard to miss.
What's in this Spider-Man pen?
What's in the Spider-Man pen?
Dots from the spot, the villain in that movie.
Oh, Dots from the spot.
Dots from the spot. Hey villain in that movie. Oh, Dots from the Spot! Dots from the Spot!
Hey, new Downton Abbey movie!
I don't think this is a good pen.
I've always considered Hollywood the ultimate dream factory.
This is a pen that has floating things in it and you're like, oh, what's that?
And it's just little black rocks.
And you're like, it should be Little Spider-Men.
If you like the movie, then you know what it's about, then you like it.
Okay. Did you see the voting?
Every voting pin should be Little Spider-Man.
I haven't seen this one.
Newcomers!
No, but I was told this is a really good movie.
It's great.
All right.
Although, they hold the ending hostage
and say you gotta pay us again if you wanna see the ending.
Cause it's a sequel?
Yeah.
Some Hobbit bullshit.
Yep.
In fact, Frodo just comes up at the end and says,
hello everyone.
Hello.
We're kinda gonna pull a me.
The ring.
So the quick recap, if for some reason our drama teacher
cast one of the other, our Italian teacher in.
Oh, I thought he cast himself.
No, no.
I've always assumed he cast himself.
I thought it was the theater teacher.
That would have made even a little more weird sense.
No, but it would have been pervy.
He's like, the only person who could do this is me.
But he, and we knew from the beginning
that none of us were gonna be able to play this role.
Why?
Emile Debeck.
Oh wait, oh.
No explanation was given.
Because they wanted to do casting
that was from the actual country.
Yeah.
They were paying attention to this far,
and none of the students were.
In France and Italy, you're at the same place.
Well, he's an Italian teacher, I'm assuming.
He's French.
He just knows Italian.
We had an assumption.
Okay.
Yeah, and I think we were just told
that it was beyond us to play this part.
Which is so crazy, because everything is beyond high schoolers to play.
Exactly!
You're all playing 30 and 40 year olds anyway.
It's ridiculous.
So there's like a, you know, 40 year old man talking to a 17 year old
who's supposed to be a captain in the Navy.
Right.
It doesn't make any fucking sense.
Right. And honestly, it just makes it weirder.
Yeah. So I, I was very upset at this.
And for the recap, then this Italian teacher had
to kiss the student.
Yeah, and they didn't try to fake it.
Like he didn't turn his, they didn't turn around
so that his back was to the audience or anything.
And he didn't do the whole like.
Ralph mouth.
His nail hands going all around his own body and everyone's like I think she's really hunting
you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But that's fair.
That makes sense.
So he just went in and kissed her and it was like full on.
Yeah, yeah.
And of course he stuck his tongue in her mouth.
That's disgusting.
Yeah, it's horrible.
How do you know that for sure?
That is traumatic.
Because there was two women who played this part,
two girls, sorry, two girls who played this part,
and they both said that that happened.
And they were, how did they feel about it?
They were not happy about it.
Yeah.
That's nasty.
Yeah.
You know, like, even when, ugh, whatever.
There was another, and there was another girl that I knew
who was a year younger than me,
yeah, a year younger than me in school,
and this teacher was a sort of confidant for her,
and of course he tried to make out with her as well.
Oh, okay.
She was shattered.
So this is him petitioning for this role.
That's, I'm realizing that now
was that he probably said he wanted to play this part
because he could sing and everything.
And why else would this ever happen?
And maybe so weird.
Maybe did he have a secret relationship with one of them?
No, he did not.
He was trying to.
So please go on though.
So that was our recap on that guy.
Yes. Now on three, recap on that guy. Yes.
Now on three to middle.
I remembered that at the time,
the thing that upset me was not the inappropriateness
of this.
It's cause he didn't get the part.
I know.
It was because I didn't, I couldn't get the part.
And when they, when they put up the cast list,
they put his name as Mr. blah blah blah, his name.
And that annoyed me as well.
So what I did was I opened up the case
and I put Mr. and Miss in front of everybody's names.
That's funny.
That's funny.
And then I got in trouble.
But it was too late to, you know,
fire me from the show, I guess.
That's the thing though, like in movies they should have,
it should be Mr. Cruz, even Hunt.
Mr. Cruz, because they do it for assistance, Mr. Cruise.
Mr. Thomas Cruise.
My favorite actor is Mr. Cruise.
They should never get first names.
Who are you talking about?
Terry, Tom, we don't know.
I've never got his first name, but I love Mr. Cruise.
He's a beautiful actor.
He's a beautiful actor.
Beautiful. You mean his acting is beautiful. He's a beautiful actor. Beautiful.
You mean his acting is beautiful.
It's beautifully done.
Beautifully portrayed.
His acting is beautifully portrayed.
Alright, we have to take a break.
Hey everyone, Freedom is sponsored by Neurex.
If you're looking for the next step in managing anxiety, Hey everyone, Freedom is sponsored by Neurex.
If you're looking for the next step in managing anxiety, Neurex is an affordable way to get
quality mental health care that makes a difference in your life.
Neurex providers will help you find the treatment plan that is right for you.
From anxiety and depression to postpartum depression and insomnia, Nurex providers treat
a variety of mental health conditions. Nurex providers will continue to check in regularly
after your consultation to make sure your treatment plan is working for you. With your
prescribed treatment plan, you will get unlimited messaging with your medical team. They're
available to answer any questions you may have.
So you're supported throughout your mental health journey.
And Neurex's seamless clinical evaluation means
you can seek treatment on your own schedule.
Neurex patients are seen by a licensed provider
in just a few days compared to the average wait time
of a month or more for in-person appointments.
Thanks to Neurex for sponsoring
freedom. Take control of your mental health starting here. Go to neurex.com slash freedom
to get started. Let me spell it for you. It's N U R X dot com slash freedom. N U R X dot
com slash freedom. Results may vary, not offered in every state, medications prescribed only if clinically appropriate,
consultation required.
Hey everybody, it's Paul.
I don't know if I've told you this about me,
but I'm tired all the time.
And so I thought, why don't I try AG1
and see if I feel any different?
And I will tell you this, since drinking AG1 daily,
I have felt a big difference.
I love how simple and easy it is to take,
especially first thing in the morning.
It's a fun little routine, and I mean, I'm having a ball
that sets my whole day off in the right direction
because AG1 is a foundational nutrition supplement
that supports your body's and mine universal needs like gut optimization stress management and immune support
Since 2010 AG one has led the future of foundational nutrition and I proudly march behind that flag
Continuously refining their formula to create a smarter better way to elevate your baseline health
And I love that every scoop includes vitamin C and zinc to support my immune
health. My wife is sick of hearing it. I recommend AG1 to all my family and friends because it is
formulated based on the latest science and maintains high quality standards, just like I do.
Even my wife has started drinking AG1 and she always tells me how much she loves its impact
on their daily routine too.
And I say, now the tables have turned.
It also really helps that it tastes delicious.
I mean, they've thought of everything.
If there's one product that I had to recommend,
like someone said, we have your family,
recommend a product to elevate your health.
I would say it's AG1,
and that's why I'm excited to welcome them as a new partner.
And I speak on behalf of Scott and Lauren in all things related to health.
If you want to take ownership of your health, it starts with AG1.
Try AG1 and get a free one-year supply of vitamin D3K2.
I didn't even know that was such a vitamin.
And five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase at drinkag1.com slash freedom.
That's drinkag1 the number one dot com slash freedom. Check it out!
Hi freedom fans if you're anything like me and I really hope you are got a world
full of me's that would be so amazing.
I would love it.
You wouldn't like it all that much, but I would love it.
Anyway, if you are anything like me,
even the tiniest, tiniest iota,
you care about where your food comes from,
especially when it comes to quality cuts of meat.
And that is why I wanna talk to you about ButcherBox.
Okay, ButcherBox, I got one yesterday.
It's so exciting when it comes in.
They deliver 100% grass-fed beef,
free-range organic chicken, pork-raised,
crate-free and wild-caught seafood.
And they deliver it right to your doorstep.
Not to your neighbor's house, not to the library in the center of town, you have to
go drive to go pick it up, no, right to your doorstep.
And with ButcherBox, you're not just getting convenience, you are getting guaranteed quality,
quality, quality.
Imagine this, alright?
The best cuts of meat, they're chosen by experts, they're delivered frozen at peak
freshness.
Just imagine it, did you?
Yeah, then you know what I'm talking about.
I've been cooking with ButcherBox Chicken for a couple of weeks now, I got some ground
beef, I got these beautiful steaks, itaks, everything is like night and day here.
It's flavorful, it's tender.
I love everything.
Plus, ButcherBox offers free shipping on all orders and exclusive member deals.
Become a member.
Sign up for ButcherBox today by going to butcherbox.com slash threedom and use the code THREEDOM at checkout, very easy to remember, and enjoy your choice of
bone-in chicken thighs, top sirloins, or salmon in every box for an entire year, plus get
$20 off!
Again, that is butcherbox.com slash threedom and use code THREEDOM.
And we're back.
Hi.
Are those new spectacles? freedom and use code freedom.
And we're back.
Hi, are those new spectacles?
Do you have new spectacles? They are new spectacles.
Thank you.
Yes, glasses.com.
OK, yes, glasses.com.
Are they a double monocle?
Yeah, it's a double monocle.
Are they transitions?
They are transitions.
Where you can look down and see something else.
Progressives, yes.
Progressives. You can look down and see something else. Progressives, yes. Progressives, yes.
You can look down and see something else, yeah.
They're like, both are off.
And Flow sponsors these?
Yeah.
And are they transitions where you get sunglasses?
They're that as well.
So it's everything.
You have- It's everything.
Progtrans glasses?
Progtrans.
Yes, glasses.com.
I got my transitions, my progressives, my regs,
all in one. This is not an ad by the way.
I know it's not an ad.
It's not an ad, but you know what?
I've never heard of it.
I, they are extremely reasonable.
I was delighted to find this site.
So you had to talk to them in order to like-
Yeah, I was like, can we get me free glasses?
And they're like, yeah.
So I have terrible vision and I recently-
How many fingers am I holding up?
I'm full but you're off.
I think you're supposed to sit and spin on that one.
I recently was told about this place in LA where my friend, my friend had really cool
glasses and she was like, Oh, you go to this place and they they'll like help you pick
your glasses and they're all unique.
I don't need help.
Guess what?
That's how I went and did it.
Because I was like, I always get my glasses from Warby, Warby Parker usually.
And I always liked them. And liked them and I have many pairs.
Sure, as do I.
The prices are reasonable compared to how it used to be
when I was growing up when it would be like 800 bucks
for a pair of glasses.
Yeah, and if you ever broke them,
you'd have to put tape on them because there's no way
they're ever gonna buy you anymore.
Yeah.
So I went to this place and I had a whole fitting
with this person and everyone there
was very nice.
I'm not even speaking against the place.
I actually all the glasses were really cool and I was like excited and I was like I did
it and then I have put them in a box that I have never.
No, I don't like how they feel on my face.
They're really heavy.
And I'm really used to lighter.
They should be a lighter, lightweight material.
Yeah, and actually they're not even that different
from what I normally get.
It's like I thought I was thinking outside the box
and then I wasn't really.
And then it just was a huge mistake.
And I was so annoyed by it
because I really splurged. But I was trying annoyed by it because I was like, I really splurged.
But I was trying to treat myself because I,
I mean, I'm sure everyone has like a purchase
they've like never used.
I just like really hated it
because I thought I was making a cool choice for myself.
Like I'm like, I'm giving myself a nice pair of glasses
and I usually don't go out of my way to get nice glasses.
And really didn't work out.
And I probably could have returned them
but I missed, you know, I don't even know.
I missed any chance of that.
It was really weird.
So maybe it's purchases that I don't know
if I regret or not, I can't quite tell.
Interesting.
I didn't tell you guys about the other doctor I went to,
which was- Dr. Vinny Bumbaths?
Yes, and Dr. Turn Your Head and Cough.
Who-
Doctor, everything's gonna be all right?
Yep.
Dr. Fielded? to be all right.
Dr. Fielded. How many other fictional doctors? Dr. T and the electric man.
Dr. T and the women.
Dr. T and the women.
Hey, did he bring his women?
I don't want to just see Dr. T today.
Dr. T, I pity the fool.
Yeah, he got his doctorate in pitying the fools.
Dr. T, I pity fools office.
Now, if Mr. T was casted something with you,
would you put Mr.
Paul F.
Tompkins or would you let him have that one?
Oh, I'd let him have that one.
OK, of course.
What's his last name again?
T. Now his real last name.
The letter T.
Well, I think his I don't know what his last name is,
but his first name is Timothy.
So that's why Mr. T is. Is it really? Well, I think his, I don't know what his last name is, but his first name is Timothy.
So that's why Mr. T is.
Is it really?
Mr. T born Lawrence Turrode.
Lawrence Turrode.
You can see why he changed it.
Mr. T is catchier, easier to say.
A little bit.
By the way, he looks terrific.
I had this DVD that I loved so much when I was in college.
It was this Mr. T special called Treat Your Mother Right. And it's like a Mother's Day special that he made. I remember this DVD that I loved so much when I was in college. It was this Mr. T special called treat your mother right.
And it's like a mother's day special that you remember this
tea, teach your mother, right?
Treat your mother right.
And he's like standing in a park, like dancing with his mother.
I think they were like these women.
I can't remember.
They were all, and then it started skipping and I couldn't,
was it Dr. T there?
I used to love treat your mother rate.
OK, I used to love drawing him, by the way, Mr. T.
Yeah, I used to have a T-shirt like one of your French girls.
French girls draw Mr. T like one of your French girls.
Holly has a T-shirt with him on it.
I forgot it was in my nephew had.
I probably bought it for him.
Does she know who Mr. T is? No.
Did you show her Mr. T? No.
Will you ever show her Mr. T? or do I have to show her mr. t your place. Well, you're my this is the oh, that's where he
drops the line. It wasn't for your mother. You wouldn't be
here. So, remember when you put down one mother, you put down
also, you wouldn't look the way you do because of genetics.
Let's see it.
Can you make the screen smaller? Do you want me to have
full screen? Can you put more pop ups in front of him?
Oh my god, this is so familiar to me.
Yes.
This is all a one-er by the way.
This is incredible.
They did, but they shot for 24 hours.
Mother. A treat her right.
Treat her right.
Him is for the moan and the miserable groan
from the pain that she felt when I was born.
Oh my god!
The moan and the miserable groan.
I want to feel that soon.
This is why you should show it to Holly.
Well, I'll show it.
And I felt her moan and the miserable groan.
I'm going to show her that except I have to skip past the part
where the kids are being mean to each other.
Let me tell you about this doctor and this purchase.
Okay.
Can I just say, I love the idea of Mr. T
watching these children savage each other
and only stepping in when they mention mothers. I like to assume that he was running to get there
and he just couldn't get there earlier.
And then he was like, I'll just pick up
where you're talking about.
I like to assume he's sitting on a park bench
reading a newspaper.
And then he overhears this.
But then he has to run to get there
before the second person.
No, no, no, he's a mile away on the park bench.
Yes, exactly.
So, you know, I've talked about tinnitus on this show.
You love to say it that way.
I mean, it's the correct way, unfortunately.
And that's why you love it.
Tonight is still like that, baby.
It should be tinnitus.
Tonight is still like that.
Because it's like colitis, everything, you know, but they-
Colitis.
Colitis.
You say clitis?
Colitis.
Colitis.
What's another?
Colitis.
Colitis. Colitis. Appendicitis. Appendicitis. Yeah,itis. Kulitis. Kulitis. Kulitis. Kulitis.
Kulitis.
Appendicitis.
Appendicitis.
Appendicitis.
Yeah, it doesn't make sense.
I got sinusitis.
Sinusitis.
So I heard about this new treatment for it,
so I went in and I don't know anything about it.
I don't want to say what it is,
but I didn't know anything about it.
It goes up your butt.
And I went in.
It's a periscope that goes up my butt and out my ears.
It's a periscope.
I see the ringing.
I see tinnitus.
But so I go in and they do all these tests
and I'm thinking like, oh, OK, they're
going to talk to me about some treatment afterwards or, I
don't know, drugs.
I don't know what is involved.
Did they tap your knee with a hammer?
Yeah.
A real hammer, too.
And did you like go flying?
So they do all the tests and then they take me into a room where another person is
and it suddenly started to feel like I was being sold something, which I was.
Oh.
And which I then bought.
But it's this...
I didn't see that twist coming.
It's this... the treatment is like, okay, so here's the,
here's the psychology behind it.
We got this oil from a snake.
The psychology is, is that your brain,
there's no reason why you should have ringing in your ears.
The brain is when you stop hearing a certain frequency,
the brain makes up for it by providing that frequency,
only it's too loud, right?
So there.
I don't get it.
Meaning like if you hear.
What do you mean when I stop hearing something?
Meaning if you have ear damage.
Oh, okay.
And you can't hear that frequency anymore,
the brain like makes up for it by providing that frequency.
Here, you like this?
Wee.
Wee.
Okay. like makes up for it by providing that frequency. Hey, you like this? Whee! Whee! OK.
So it's a brain problem.
That's why it goes in and out.
Yeah, I knew you had brain problems.
I knew it.
OK.
Oh my god, he admitted.
OK.
So the, what was that?
Oh, it's the power.
More power.
But so their idea is that they are going to provide the frequency with this device,
but they also need to stimulate another, they need to stimulate you physically, not just
in the ear.
It's a dual kind of thing.
Oh, no.
What do you think of your idea?
So you got a happy ending.
It's a pocket pussy. So it was was Dr. Feelgood was the answer.
No, it's a it's a it's a it looks like a tiny iPod with headphones.
OK.
You have somebody tell me afterwards about a pocket pussy.
Oh, jeez.
Hold that thought.
Please hold it. But so it's like an iPod that also has a like electrical thing that I put in my
mouth on my tongue that shocks my tongue as this happens, not shocks it.
So is it that sort of thing where like that sort of therapy where it's you're
distracting yourself with a different thing.
So it erases everything.
Yes, exactly.
Yeah.
And supposed to do it for an hour a day.
To be honest, I don't have that kind of time.
That's so long.
I've just been doing it for a half hour.
An hour a day.
Yeah, and you're not supposed to have email on
or anything like that during the year.
Email.
No, I have to have my email on.
Butter emails.
Butter emails.
Butter emails.
Actually, that was something I saw.
What if the other emails me?
It was butter that said emails on it.
I've seen that.
That's fun.
Yeah.
We should sell that.
No, it exists.
Let's sell a worse version of it.
Yeah.
It's just real butter.
I won't just write it with a marker on it.
Yes, real butter that says freedom on it and you can, because people need butter.
What about like a sculpture of an email that says butter on it?
Yes, a sculpture of one email. says butter on it. Yes, a sculpture of one email.
Yeah. What do emails look like?
A letter? Well, no one knows.
They look like paper.
If you put them out, if you print them, if you put them outside.
So what happened? You're not really doing it.
So so I buy this thing, but they say because it's going in your mouth,
it's nonrefundable.
So if you buy it, you know. It sounds so scammy.
I it does.
But at the same time, it also sounds real.
But I wasn't sure this was your you're connecting this to my glasses
in that it was a purchase.
You weren't it was a purchase that I I I don't.
It feels semi scammy.
But then again, this was a thing that I'd heard about that does work.
But then I guess all scams are that way.
I know who I want to rip me off.
They talked about certain people who have used it
and the techniques.
Holly Shore.
Some real housewives.
And to be, and also to be fair.
Mr. T's backup singers.
My tinnitus now is no longer constant.
Is it because you're doing that?
I don't know.
Or I don't know whether I'm just distracted.
It was constant before?
How are you dealing with that?
Yeah.
But it's not as bad as some people like,
like Huey Lewis or whatever.
He's got some,
is that what it sounds like for you?
No, that's his stutter.
So were you just hearing in your head.
Yeah, sometimes. Yeah.
Especially after recording.
So I actually sounded cute. I wouldn't like that.
It's a little mouse. Yeah.
Looking for the wheel.
Have you thought about making like visualizing your tinnitus
as a little mouse on a little wheel? Yeah.
Oh, you have. Yeah.
I thought about that. I retract my question.
I didn't do it, but I thought about that.
You know how in cartoons, mouse holes are like so prevalent and they're always like
a half circle?
Yeah.
You got to draw a mouse.
I love to draw a mouse hole if I'm drawing a room.
Yeah, you have to.
But do they exist in real life?
I mean, have you ever had mice?
They always make an arch hole.
Like a like a little half circle?
It's the only way they can do it.
Yeah, that's how they get in.
And what are they sawing these?
No, unfortunately they can get into the tiniest hole
because their bones squish down.
I love when there's a door and a mouse hole in a cartoon.
Yeah, that's fun.
That's adorable.
A door?
And then you go inside and they have a little lounge chair
with a little lamp.
Like it's really bold.
Like the idea that I'm living in someone, a human's house.
I'm damaging the baseboard and the wall,
but I'm gonna put a door up here.
But also baseboards don't exist in those comics either.
It's like they almost intentionally put baseboards on now
in order to make sure there can't be mouse holes, right?
No, what are you talking about?
Here.
Here? In these cartoons? They had base are you talking about? Here. Here?
In these cartoons?
They had baseboards.
But you know what I love?
I feel like they have baseboards in cartoons.
I love fairy doors.
And I like when people put them on a tree.
I love a fairy door.
You're right, there are baseboards.
I like when people put them on a tree.
I have some things like that around my house
that I really enjoy. Yes, absolutely.
I would like to have more once Holly
can really pay attention to that.
And I'll be like, oh, there's a fairy in there.
It's even more insane that they're with baseboards.
Is that a good, that's a lot of really real.
That's construction that a mouse did.
Yeah.
Do you remember the littles, the little people who lived in the house?
No, no, no, no.
In your house.
But I told, I've told you about little bits.
Oh, right.
It's a TV show from Nickelodeon that was like about these little gnomes called the Lil' Bits.
Ugh.
Look, if you can't get on board with Lil' Bits, I don't know if I can keep doing this.
Should I tell you how much I spent on this during the break?
Yes.
No, tell me now.
No, during the break.
Oh, can I guess?
You can guess during the break.
Anyway, I don't know whether I'm inspired by your
views. Here's a, here's a purchase I did not make. I was like,
I've gotten back into, um, watches again,
as I've talked about. And so I thought this time,
uh, I'm just going to go and get one that tells time.
I'm going to go mechanical watches.
I'm not going to go battery operated watches.
Cause I really enjoy that.
Where you wind it.
Yes, you suddenly wind it yourself.
Where you have to go into like a watch repair shop
in order to get it fixed.
Do you wind it every day?
Well, sometimes you have to go into a watch repair shop
to get a battery replaced if you can't.
Like I have some watch tools and there,
but there are some that are,
I don't wanna damage the watch with my clumsiness trying to get the back off to put a new battery in there and you don't want to end up in like the nuclear reactor if you're fixing your watch no turn into Dr. Manhattan that's the last thing I want.
I have a clock that's running slow suddenly what do I do is it is dead. No, take it to a repair shop. Yeah, take it to a repair shop. And they'll charge you $800. So it's dead. One errand.
So I guess I can't do that.
You know these sites like, like, Tmoo or whatever.
Yeah, I'm so afraid of these sites.
Yeah, well, I've I've.
We're going to be advertising them.
I've had success with.
Oh, no, I am. Sorry.
Oh, congrats.
I've had success with Tmoo.
I've never tried it.
But there was another place.
Was this like DH gate?
I think I went there to get a pocket watch
because I was looking for I wanted a pocket watch with some color to it.
And you also you bought a suit, you were telling me with like 87 pockets.
Yeah. Yeah.
And I need a watch and everyone.
Are you aware of this like sort of code on like Reddit type boards or message boards
where DH means dear husband?
What?
It might be on like weird women's boards.
My dear husband like like you'd be like D D dear daughter,
D S dear son, D H dear husband.
So you'd be like, it's just like type faster.
But I find it so off putting.
But are they saying that their husband is dear to them or they're,
they're addressing their husbands.
He's dear to you.
They're referring to him in some story or other.
My dear husband, my DH.
So like my DH and DH said,
My DH got a BBL.
T-I-F-U by calling my DH, uh, A-H.
Yeah. Right. So I go to this.
Today I fucked up by calling my dear husband
an asshole.
Yeah.
Okay, great.
That's a fuck up.
That's a true fuck up.
To let him know how you feel about him.
He won't like that.
Whatever site this was,
Lauren's pulling at her collar.
Don't call your D-H-A-H.
Whatever site this was,
I put in the word pocket in the search bar.
Hmm. And I cannot tell you how quickly the
drop down but it was like it was so many descriptors.
Oh my god.
It's like Paul you must mean pocket pussy.
It was like 12 different search things came up.
It was like what the fuck.
Like pocket pussy juicy. I was like, what the fuck? Like, pocket pussy juicy?
I didn't memorize those.
You didn't memorize them?
Why not?
This is a good bit.
And I don't wanna hear suggestions.
Can we get a suggestion from the audience?
But so did you get one?
A type of pocket, I got three.
And they don't fit on my wrist.
All right, we have to take a break.
Whenever you're gearing up for a trip, deciding what to pack can be stressful.
I know for Paul F. Tompkins, the clothes he has either don't fit, they're worn out, or
they just don't match.
He's a mess.
But then he discovered Quince and so did I.
It's my go-to for high quality vacation essentials that will last forever.
Quince is an entirely online clothing provider that offers chic,
classic luxury pieces at some truly incredible prices,
all designed to stand the test of time. Now I know Paul loves their 100% European
linen long sleeve shirts. He has one in Navy.
He reaches for it constantly
and it goes with all of his clothes so he looks more put together. You know how he always
looks like a mess. Well their cashmere collection for men is also awesome. There are so many
great finds. The best part? All Quince items are priced 50 to 80 percent less than similar
brands. By partnering directly with Top Factories, Quince cuts the cost of the middleman and
passes the savings on to us. So pack your bags with high Factories, Quince cuts the cost of the middleman and passes the savings on to us.
So pack your bags with high quality essentials from Quince.
Go to quince.com slash threedom for free shipping
on your order and 365 day returns.
That's quince.com slash threedom to get free shipping
and 365 day returns.
Quince.com slash threedom.
This spring, get out there, enjoy the weather and recapture the magic of riding a bike with electric e-bike with an amazing variety of models built for riders of all abilities.
Even me.
It's never been easier to fall in love with riding again.
Plus every electric e-bike ships free
and only requires quick tool-less assembly.
Data show, and I have so much data here in front of me.
I ask for, you know, the scientists down at R&D,
I'm like, bring me all the data
and they come and they bring it all to me.
It shows this data that I asked for.
It shows that e-bike riders take their bike out more often,
meaning more exercise, more exploration, more fresh air,
electric e-bikes. Paul, Paul F.
Tompkins got one of these electric e-bikes.
He's out there toodling around like a king every day of his life,
waving at his neighbors, hiking.
When I say hiking, I mean like taking his bike.
So what do you call bike hiking?
Bahiking?
When he's out there on the hiking trails on his bike,
bahiking, I've just coined it, bahiking.
He loves it.
Owning it has such a motivational impact on him is a direct quote
from him so you can attribute that. Look with electric ebikes you get up to 150 miles on one
charge with their unbeatable long-range options. Go full throttle into spring with electric ebikes,
the number one selling ebikes in the nation get
your adventure started at electric ebikes.com please please please mention
the freedom sent you in the post checkout survey and let me spell it for
you it's L E C T R I C ebikes.com
dot com. And we're back.
And guess what? What? I chicken butt. Oh God. I said that too slow.
Is it not chicken butt? Is it chicken butt? It's not chicken butt.
So the speed was irrelevant, my friend, because it is time for a three-chair.
What is a three-chair? I wanted to ask.
The three-chair is a game that we play here on Freedom. Three-Ture.
And those are not lyrics to Scrubs.
I don't want no Scrubs.
A Three-Ture is a game.
Doop-a-doop.
Yeah, we do want Scrubs.
Three-Ture is a game but the buzz
of it is also known as a Three-Ture.
If you're Scrubbing, you want to give us a Three-Ture,
we don't care.
You can be a Scrub.
Three-Ture is a game that you play in the car.
Please send us your three chair suggestions.
A game that you play in a car or a parlor game, something like that.
And it's not like drag racing or your fast and furious antics. We're not racing for pinks.
Please send us a three chair.
Yeah, we're not racing for pinks hot dogs.
They refuse to sponsor us.
Sounds kinda good right now.
That would be great if they sponsored us.
A Pink's hot dog?
Just a hot dog.
They're filming something on your street.
I told you already. I heard, what is it?
Did you see Mr. Cruise there?
I did not see Mr. Cruise.
Mr. Cruise might be doing a stunt,
turning from house to house.
I do always slow down a little bit
to see if I will know somebody on the set.
I know, yeah, why not?
And it never happens, and it's disappointing.
I wonder what house. god, this is exciting.
We'll find out on our way out.
I gotta get down there for craftsman.
Hey, you need any more actors?
We're all free.
You need background?
Strikes over, what can we do?
I got eight hours to spare.
I have to be yelled at by a director.
So if you would like to send us a feature,
please do at freedomusa gmail.com.
That's our email.
Yeah.
And this one doesn't have a title
and I don't know who sent it to us originally,
but we played it before.
Wow, mysterious.
But we go around in a circle telling a story.
Each of us says one word.
However, one of us has the word romance.
One of us has the word uplifting
and scary. These are like descriptive words to what types of words we're going to say.
And how we're going to say it or no? We can. Yeah. I'd love to say it in that way. All
right. I will take scary. I'll do romantic. And you get uplifting, Paul.
Uplifting. It's like chicken soup for the soul.
Yeah, optimistic.
I know what the word uplifting means.
Let's bring it down.
You know, Paul, it's like chicken soup for the soul.
Prefix meaning towards the sky.
It's like Tuesdays with Maury.
It's like that, it's like you will remember.
Have you ever seen Tuesdays with Maury?
It's like the five people even in heaven.
No, I've never seen it and I never will.
I hate Maury.
That's the thing, I don't wanna spend Wednesdays with him.
I do Tuesdays with Maury Povich.
All right.
Someone posted like a thing on Instagram that was like,
my kids are real sick. So I gave them a sick day.
Like it's the nineties and they're all watching Maury Povich.
Yep. Yep. Yep. All right.
So should I start the sentence?
I don't I'm trying to think if I know that many uplifting words.
Well, just you get there, you'll come naturally.
And also how you deliver it. OK.
Because sometimes you have to say and the you know, it's all.
Yeah, exactly. All right. Ready?
Ghosts are. Sexy.
That's the title.
That's the title.
That's the title.
Unless.
That's how it starts.
No.
I'm still continuing this title.
Unless ghosts are sexy.
Okay.
And then you started the story.
Unless.
Which is fine.
Oh, I thought you were saying that's the title.
Unless ghosts are sexy.
Unless.
Unless.
Unless.
Unless.
Unless.
Unless. Unless. Unless. Unless. Unless. No Okay, and then you started the story
Oh, I thought you were saying that's the title of this episode. No the title of this story is go
But I think it should be okay. I think the first I think the first one was story unless that's a bold
Okay, unless we look
Unless we look inward healthily.
Mistake. A. Oh, you're cheating.
Unless we look inward healthily, we mistake a ghost.
That's what I just said.
You said ghost?
That's the title.
Ghost isn't romantic.
Unless we, what is it?
Unless we look inside, inward healthily, we mistake a ghost.
That's the title. That's the title. The title ghost is a romantic. Unless we what is it?
Unless we look inside, help it helpfully.
We mistake a ghost.
Is that your final answer?
We mistake a ghost.
Final answer.
We mistake a ghost.
For.
Three specters.
Specters. Because.
Every ghost has.
Ten specters inside all itself.
All itself. OK, so let's get this sentence right. Inside all itself
Okay, so let's get this sentence right unless we look inward
Healthily healthily. Mm-hmm. Okay
Why don't we do it again and I think we'll go a little trigger a little faster so we keep track and we also can end a sentence. Okay.
Okay.
Okay, I'll try.
All right, so let's come up with the title
and let's switch parts.
Title, okay.
I'll be uplifting.
I'll be romance.
I'll be scary.
Okay.
Lovers.
Die.
Oh.
Happily.
Okay, that's the title.
Bye men.
OK.
Romantic.
That's uplifting.
Scary.
Wait, hold on. Who's what?
I'm romantic. Romantic. OK. And. Who's what? I'm romantic.
You're romantic.
Okay.
And the way I'm starting the story is romantic.
Graveyards.
Can intoxicate corpses.
When sex decays.
People. We die.
A cupid's.
Monster. My monster.
Is lovely.
And you're scratching your eyes so slowly and then just said and afraid to.
We will. Is it cute?
Monster is monster is lovely, lovely, lovely and afraid to.
afraid to.
Suck.
The.
Mero.
Of her.
Breasts.
Therefore. However. Here to. breasts therefore however here to for Oh, wow. Really stuck in the land.
It doesn't make any sense.
It's over.
It's over.
Okay, man.
I'm sorry I said unknown
and it's very scary.
Like the unknown, the Willy Wonka character.
Is that in what?
What?
What do you mean in what?
In Willy Wonka?
The unknown.
In the Willy Wonka experience in Scotland?
What?
That one that was like a horrible situation
that everyone was paying attention to?
Horrible?
Wait, you liked it?
I created it.
Oh, you're that guy!
I created the original character, the unknown.
It's called the unknown?
Yes.
Is that what the guy with the black top hat was?
I didn't see that part.
Yeah.
The unknown.
He's a scary presence.
It makes sense if you go to the thing.
Because it's a warehouse.
Yeah.
And yeah, it'd be weird to see that in a warehouse.
That story was so insane.
It's like, what are people doing?
We were talking about it on a different show,
but it just gave me, it gave me like actor,
it's like the dream where you show up
and you don't know any of the lines as an actor.
It reminded me of a real life version of that
where it's just like.
Do you know I recently had a dream where I,
the dream started that way, where I had to do a show
and I didn't know what was going on.
But then in the dream, I caught up and it all worked out.
That's never happened to me before.
I had one recently where I pulled it off.
Yeah.
And people were like, yeah.
It was wild.
It was really wild.
It's amazing.
It's never happened to me before.
I feel like things are turning around for us.
Yeah.
You guys are having good dreams finally.
Finally.
I had, I had the other night I had dreams
that started out so bad.
And then by the end of my dream cycle,
we're like absolutely delightful to where I woke up.
I was like, God, that was great.
And I was like, Oh, what about those horrors I experienced?
Right.
It was my turn to get Emmy and she has never done this before
and it hasn't done since.
But I went in and she was like, mama, mama, mama, mama.
And I was like, you want to see mama see mama and I think she had a bad dream or
something so I took her in to cool up it was still asleep and then she cool up
it also had a bad dream where she lost her as well and so they were both like
happy to see each other yeah you know you're dreaming about acting I did well
in the play.
Doesn't anyone want to hear about my dream?
I have no connection to my family.
Well that does it for this episode.
Thank you all for listening.
We love you.
If you would like to write to us, of course, you write to us at 3dumusa.gmail.com.
If you would like to leave us a voicemail as a sort of a conversational prompt
for our Thremium episodes,
go to the website, hagclaims8.com,
leave us a voicemail,
and then we talk for a little bit
on these little mini episodes called Thremiums.
They come out every other week.
People need more information.
How do they get to this website?
They need to get an internet service provider.
Either go to Safari. Or just open Google and type hagclaim8.com.
Go to Shrone.
But before that, they need to hook their computers up.
Well, you have to buy a computer.
Oh, boy.
Or you can go to the library.
That's true.
What about a phone?
Go to your local library and say,
I need to leave freedom of voicemail.
They'll know exactly what you're talking about.
They'll teach you about the Dewey Decimal System.
Then you'll be able to access hagclaim8.com., they'll teach you about the Dewey Decimal System, then you'll be able
to access hagclaims8.com.
What if all the computers were in the Dewey Decimal System?
You're like, have to find them that way.
What about that thing right there?
Isn't it a computer?
Also, look at the microfiche.
Kids don't have to learn that anymore?
No, they don't.
They can.
I bet they don't have to.
I don't think they teach them that anymore.
We didn't have to.
We didn't have to learn anything.
I didn't think they teach them that anymore. We didn't have to. We didn't have to learn anything. I didn't.
Didn't you just used to sit there and like edit out like,
oh, I'm never gonna need this.
I'm never gonna need this.
No, because my immediate thought was
I have to know this for homework or for a test.
So I couldn't even project myself that far into the future.
I was like, this fucking sucks.
Right.
Right?
What do you, what do you
still remember from school? Everything tells everything. Don't tug on Superman's cape.
Don't spit into the wind. Right. You don't take the mask off the old Lone Ranger.
Got it. And you don't mess around with Jim. Oh, right, right, right, right. Yeah. What class was that? That was Jim.
Class. That was Jim. Jim Crotche.
I also know that the South side of Chicago is the baddest part of town.
All right. Leroy Brown lives in. He's bad. He's very bad. Um, hey, look,
uh, we, if you want to hear our old episodes, uh,
all of them are over at cbbworld.com.
All of them.
All of them ad free.
All of them.
But if you want to hear them for free
without signing up anywhere,
we release them once a week on Tuesday.
We call that quite simply, three visiting on the twos.
And you can hear those every Tuesday
and the three episodes we talked about those,
those are every other Wednesday.
You can't say we didn't because we did.
And those come out on CBB World and also this maybe Apple Podcasts premium or something.
I don't know what it's called.
Let's never learn.
Lemonade has never written to us to say, hey, here's what it actually is.
It's called Apple Podcasts premium.
It's not what you said when you...
Well, that's what I said originally, but then people say that that is not a thing.
So and I'm just going off a an oral conversation I had with everyone about this.
OK. And my memory.
Yes. Listen to us on Zune minus.
And oh, by the way, Paul and I are on tour starting next week.
Wow. And oh, by the way, Paul and I are on tour starting next week, I believe, with the Comedy
Bang Bang tour.
And you can get all of the information at CBBworld.com slash tour all of those dates
are going to be on the East Coast next week, which is very exciting.
And look, man, Riotopia is also on tour.
Yeah, that's I'm doing two tours at the same time.
Yeah. Wow. At the shows simultaneously as well.
Like half of the stage is for CBB and half the stage is for IT.
Yeah. Are you doing shows in the same cities or? Sometimes. Yeah. Wow.
Good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. At different parts of the year. Oh, nevermind.
Yeah. Oh, no, no. Oh, no, no. Oh, no, no.
No, no, no. One more night.
Yeah. We got to go, I think.
Goodbye. Not really.
What do you want us to keep talking about?
It's a short episode. Is it? Yeah.
What happened? How did it get so short?
Because we stopped that game like within 30 seconds.
That game felt like we went on forever.
Should we play another round? Yeah, I'll do it.
Okay, here we go. All right.
I'll be uplifting.
Okay, I'll be romantic. Okay, here we go. Let's do it. All right.
I'll be uplifting.
Okay, I'll be romantic.
Okay, and you're scary.
I'll be scary.
Okay, and Lauren, you start.
This is the title.
Freedom.
Is.
Sexy.
When.
Hot air balloons.
Oh, that's three words. Actually, two words. air balloons. Oh, that's three words.
Actually two words.
When balloons.
Two.
Which two are together?
Hot air is probably.
Hot air is one word.
Do you think it's hyphenated?
I think it's hyphenated.
I think it's hot air balloons.
Let me look.
Hot air balloons.
Hot air balloons.
It is hyphenated.
Hot air balloons.
Hot air balloons.
Hot air balloons.
Hot air balloons.
Hot air balloons. Hot air balloons. Hot air balloons. Hot air balloons. Hot air balloons. It is hyphenated. Hot air balloons. Hot air balloons.
Hot air balloons.
Actually, it's not hyphenated.
You turn on the air of the air.
Actually, it is hyphenated.
You rise in the air on the ground.
You're not.
All right, we have to go.
Bye.
Bye. What do weddings, Instagram, and toxic relationships all have in common?
They take your money and you can't get it back.
16 grand somewhere in there.
Gone.
There's no legal solution for the fact that you married an asshole.
Welcome to The Dough.
I'm ex-Mayo.
We're diving into the stories surrounding the moola baby.
The good, the bad, and the unexpected.
Yeah, we talking about it all.
The Dough is out now wherever you get your podcasts.