Threedom - How D'you Like Your Hoagie?

Episode Date: May 21, 2026

Lauren, Scott, and Paul discuss Philly accents, mansions, and cooking shows before answering a listener voicemail. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Unlock every episode of THREEDOM and THREEMIUM, ad-free, on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/shop

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Lauren. I'm awake. Were you napping? No. Freedom! Got back to sleep. Freedom! Freedom! Oh, my God, freedom. You fell asleep again. Oh, my gosh. I was having a nightmare while awake. Can I confess something?

What? Yeah. I was falling asleep during that. Wow. And I think my timing was off. Say something. Yeah, say. Please.

I wish you would. Say less. Say less, queen. I am tired because... I think you just turned up, Paul. I don't care. You're number two. Hey.

We're having headphone confusion here. I went to bed. Headphone confusion! Two nights ago, I went to bed at 9 o'clock, and it was incredible. Oh, my God. I went to bed at 8 recently. Oh, my God. Wow.

And then last night, I pushed it. And I went to bed at 10 o'clock. Okay. But I had a headache. That's why you didn't have sex with Mike? Yeah, just that time. He was there in bed with his arms crossed. And then I woke up with a bottle of aspirin.

I woke up with the headache. You know when you think you're going to go to sleep and make the headache go away? Yeah. You wake up and you still have the headache. I feel like I didn't sleep all night. And I'm really tired. Like my eyes feel like big balls that I want to like balls of duke. Not to be a bitch, but they look like that too.

They look like big balls of duke. And they look like it too. Now, I very rarely get headaches. Wow. That must be nice. You're having sex constantly. I can't get out of it. I don't want to lie to my wife.

Yeah, of course not. Yeah. We're wife guys, you and us. We're wife guys. Yeah. Of all wives. I love all wives. All wives matter.

I'm Paul. I'm Scott. I'm Lauren. This is Threatom. This is the podcast where, Do we ever explain the podcast? Oh, I don't think we ever did. Okay.

Oh, my God. We've gotten this far without saying what it is. I don't think we ever have, and I think it's probably we should explain it. Yeah, okay. Where do we start? Do we start with the Milky Way galaxy? Yes. This is a podcast about the Milky Way galaxy.

We discuss current events that happen in that galaxy and our unique take on each event. That's what we do every week. So say, let me give a hypothetical. Say a world event happens. Yes. That's a hypothetical, right? Yeah. Yeah.

So then we... It's very possible a world event could happen. So, yeah. So, and this is, it doesn't have to be happening concurrently everywhere in the world. It just has to happen somewhere in the world and the rest of the world hears about it. Yes. For instance, if there's a big rainstorm, it doesn't have to be happening over the entire world for us to talk about it. Do you think that's ever happened where everywhere in the world it's been raining at the same time?

Yeah, probably four times. Yeah. probably. That's cool. It is. But we didn't, we didn't have a show then so we didn't talk about it.

That's right. But so say there's a big rainstorm and a couple of people get wet. Yeah. That's an example of a world event. That's current and it's happening on the world. Also, if there's a big asteroid

that's out there. Yeah. And something's not quite right. A special team gets hired to go up there and try to destroy it. Well, okay. This is to, okay.

We will not talk about special teams associated with asteroids. We will talk about the asteroid and its behavior. We will talk about special teams when it comes to football. Absolutely. Very special teams. The kickers, the punters. Yes.

I want to talk about the bears. Let's talk about the bears. I just love how they're doing it. I think they're using the space that they have really well. Yeah. They're taking up space. They're using the whole space, which I love about them. They're, you know, a lot of teams when you see,

they don't go back all the way to the one yard line. the show with some beautiful tabloes on both sides. I love that. I love that. You'll look down at the field and be like, that is gorgeous. Yes. I love looking at the football film saying, when is this show going to start? Because I can't wait. Yes. And I've had my ticket in my fist

for the last five months waiting for this moment. And then it's not readable by the scanner when you get there. And suddenly you're back home watching on the TV. Just like everybody else. All over the world. Yes. Has everybody all over the world watched a football game at the same time. Yes, four times.

Yeah. There was Super Bowl 3. It wasn't the same day as that storm, was it? Well, it could have kept everyone inside. Yeah, except the players. Yeah. It was Super Bowl 3.

It was a preseason game for the Rams. I remember. Every single person in the world watched it. And then there was like... Why are we watching preseason games? I don't know. Everyone just tuned in that day. Is that like a trailer?

I think it was a coincidence. Is it a trailer? Yeah, I know. It's a trailer for a game. essentially. Yeah, like this kind of thing is going to happen. Yeah. Yeah.

Preseason games should, there should be no cameras allowed. Yeah. And no attendance. It should be illegal to film. Mm-hmm. Because it's, you're right, it's none of our business. It's them trying to work out the kinks. I think they should play in their street clothes.

Sure. Jeans. Jackies. Jeans no shirt. Who's going to be shirts? Who's going to be skins? No shirt. Cackies and button downs.

Yeah. Those are the types. All the shirts and skins thing when we were kids. even into adults I played some adult football games where it's like okay shirts and skins is like what no yeah that was not a thing I read to contend with really yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I did I think it was a thing that happened when I was growing up but it wasn't like a big I mean I'm a girl so I guess I didn't really have to face it no you never had to deal with

it boy I feel like girl ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta skins and pans and pans and pans That's something. It absolutely is. Can I ask you a question? Absolutely. Yeah, please. What's going on with that silver box and why haven't you moved it in multiple weeks on top of your desk?

I'm just wondering, because it feels like you've left it exactly askew, exactly how it is. Could you stop coming here? It's on a pile of shit. It's not on a pile of shit for the listeners. I have been dealing with this. Why do you come in here and? Why do you come in here? Scott, can I?

I tell you why? Why? She's interested in you. She is not interested in me. She's your friend. She finds an extra person. She's trying to, she's using my personal space for content purposes. And I don't appreciate it. You're doing this for clicks. I'm just curious what's in the box. What's in the box? We've already been down this, but last time it was a Jaws figurine. I told you what's in there. It's a bunch of items. That you're selling. No, this is a bunch of items that I've gotten as Christmas gifts. They're all like, like, things you want to get rid of. They're all like, do dads, you know what I mean? Do dads.

You gougas. Knick, knacks. And things have to, things have to leave this room before I can get to that corner. Okay, you have a lot going on. G-E-W-G-A-W-S. G-E-W-G, I've never heard this. You never heard it, yeah. No.

Is that a Philly thing? Is that like John? No. Are you sure? It's not like John. It's not like John. J-W-N. What?

The way you're saying it. What? Let's do a little silly accent. accent lesson because I'm, John, John, John. I had a conversation with someone who has a Philly accent the other day and I was really wanting to remember it when I left and I couldn't do it. Right. That's, yeah, can you say tone?

Tune. Tune. Tune. I don't like your tune. I don't like your tune. I don't like your tune. There's not bad. There's almost like a crossover with, with Surfer on that.

Yeah. I don't like your tune. I don't like your tune. I don't like your tune. I don't like your tune. I don't like your tune, Bill and Tifer. Ted's excellent adventure. Hey, Bill and Ted's excellent adventure.

I don't like your tone. I like your tone. And as we know, our friend just moved to Philadelphia. Bill and Ted? And as we know, our friend Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure just moved to Philadelphia. Do you think Kevin is going to have an accent, Shevin? Oh, our old chef. Excuse me.

He moved to Pittsburgh. Sorry. That is not the same place. Sorry. You understand where the confusion comes from. Is the accent different? I suppose I do. They start with P.

Everything else about it. Similar. There's H's in there. Do they? The accents are somewhat similar. Famously shown in the Pennsylvania sketches on the Kroll show. Okay. Amazing.

Yes. Yes, yes. So like Nurse Dana on. Well, yes. I'm always obsessed with Dana's accent. Yes. I'm trying to do it. But I find.

that it's elusive to me. Baby Jane Doe. Baby Jane Doe. Taking formula. Taking formula real well. Baby Jane Doe. I love her. I love her. I really love that character because she absolutely reminds me of people that I knew growing up.

That's cool. Yeah. That's the one thing that you like about TV or movies. If someone's in there who reminds you of someone growing up, then it's a good movie. Watching Star Wars and Avatar. So, yeah. She from... There are a lot of people in Avatar.

The pit is Pittsburgh. Yes. And so she's from Pittsburgh. Yes, she's from Pittsburgh. And she's got a yinser accent. Yinser. What's the diff between Jinser and Philly? That's a good question because they're...

It sounded very Philly right there. No, it did not. Yeah, did. Here's say that's a good question. That's a good question. That's a good question. I don't like your tune. What are the vowel, the different...

What are you doing with your mouth? It's part of my word. work. I don't like your tune. You're doing Harris Whittles, tiny enough. I don't like your tune. Tune. Tune. I feel like I have to do that. I don't like your tune. I don't like your tune. You know what, hon? I don't like your tune. I don't like your tune. I don't like your tune. Tune. Tune. I don't like your tune. Tune. Tone. Tone. Tone. Tone. You go opposite to be. Tone. Tone. I don't like your tune. No. Stop. Let me do it. I don't like your tune. No.

Do it again. Tune. Tune. Tune. Tune. Tune. I like your tune. You're saying tune.

I don't like your Tune. You're always like Dutch. I don't like your tune. Tune. Tune. I don't like your tune. Tune. The mouth can open more.

I see. Yeah. You don't have to do anything with your mouth. Let's see. I think that sometimes, you know, what you're criticizing might be my process. Yes. And I might get there. Of saying the same thing

the exact same way multiple times. Never changing and never getting closer with what it's supposed to be. All right. Pitch your voice higher. Pitch your voice higher. No, don't.

I don't like your tone. I don't like your tone. I don't like your tone. Use one, two, three. One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two, three. Is that Philly?

Yeah. Is that something? That's what is the difference? So what is the difference? I like a hoogie. What's the difference? between Yinzer and Philly? I honestly,

off the top of my head, could not tell you because they are very close. I would say that the, the Philly and Baltimore accents are also very close, but the Baltimore accent has more southern flourishes.

Okay. But they are very close. Difference between Yinser and Philly accent. I'm looking up, and this is the AI overview. Pittsburghs use Yinser, yins you all and say

downtown, while Philadelphians use you guys and say water oh what a big difference AI would have been helpful to use the same phrase for both water water water water water water yeah that one still comes out sometimes with you

yeah may have some water may I have some water hello my darling might I have some water? I've missed you on pot. Might I have some wooder? I love you so much. Let's have some water.

I love you so much. Let's have some water. What a great line of dialogue this is. I've enjoyed fucking you greatly. Let's have some water. Oh, my gosh. We're having a great time. We're getting silly with it.

Na, nah, na, nah, na, nah, na, na. He got a message recently from the jury duty people. The TV show or the state government, Ron. What is he developing, Ron? Ronald, whatever his name is. Ronald, with his development deal? Yeah, he got that development deal with Amazon.

And after jury duty, he got a development deal. I can't wait for his group. Oh, that guy. I want his great projects. Yeah. I hope it's, well, did he have a stay in. Jerry D. It's a spy who doesn't know that he's a spy. Actually, that is a pretty common movie premise.

The man who knew too little. Oh, sure, sure, sure, sure. But this guy is actually a spy and doesn't know he's a spy. And doesn't know it. Everyone around him is a spy and he goes and shows up to the spy. He doesn't realize he's been. But everyone else is a fake spy. He's gone through an academy.

And he's a real spy. Yes, right. This is like aging Cody Banks in a way. Is it really? No, not really. But you heard from jury duty. What does that mean? Okay.

I got a jury duty summons. I forgot about it. It went into a pile of papers on my desk. Yeah, that's a danger with that kind of thing. Then I get the scary notice, a little postcard that says, you fucked up now. Oh, you don't fuck up now. You motherfucker.

You fuck with us. We fuck with you. I will not be ignored, Dan. And they say now you got, now you better do it right now or we're going to arrest you or something. Yeah. Or to make, you're in trouble. So I had to. So now of course it's like, by the way, Paul, there are some who say.

Hmm. And I'm not amongst them because I, as I said on the show, I want to do. Saddam Hussein. There are Saddam Hussein. Some say that they can never prove that you got any of these. So you throw them in the trash. And they know that too. They know that...

They're praying upon your own sense of duty and... Well, they're also praying on your fear of... Reprofession. Having to pay a bunch of money. Yes. As a fine. By the way, how much money could it possibly be to... It's $600,000.

That's a lot. I do it. I forget how much it was. But it was a substantial fine. What are we talking? I think any amount is annoying. I'm going to look at this up. $10? That's fine.

I would call it fair. $10 is fine. That's what they say about parking tickets is like if you could pay, what is it? Like how much are parking tickets? $64. It's crazy. $64 a year to park wherever you wanted because that's how often you would get a ticket like once a year.

Then you would pay it, right? But paying for a meter adds up to probably more than that in a year. But hold on a second. You're, you're, that's, you get a ticket once a year if you park wherever you want. Say you even get three or whatever. If you routinely flagrantly violate the parking law. Yes. You're saying the law of averages is you get a ticket once a year.

Maybe. I mean, how often do you go, oh, man? But there's people that have, that owe so much money in parking tickets. Yes, because I think those people, like, have a certain place that they park all the time. What are you talking about? What are I talking about? People who have a lot of parking tickets, you think every day park in a toe zone. I think every

they have a same place I think they they park next to their work or their home in a certain place that they are more prone to getting multiple tickets because But this is your theory That's my theory I don't know what am I a fucking scientist

About parking? Definitely not Definitely not Hey first of all Don't you be unreasonable And then acts like I'm being unreasonable Trying to calm me down I just asking questions

Am I being unreasonable? By the way the fine is $1,500. That's a lot I remember there being a three in there. Like it was three grand. $1,500's a lot. $1,500 is a lot. I don't want to pay that.

Oh, just to... I also don't want to go do it, but I feel like it's a responsibility. Go do it. Mike just did it. And you actually got chosen. I know. We talked about it. We talked about my dream.

I want to get a juicy murder trial. I, so I had to postpone it. And then, of course, I have all this stuff coming up. Yeah. And the earliest, the latest I could postpone it that I was, here is next month and it's like one of those I got to pray that I don't get chosen.

Yeah, you got to pray just to make it today. Yeah. That's Hammer said. Pray. Pray. Homeboy, we pray. Pray. We got to pray just to make it today.

I wonder if he's out there hurting people. I keep telling him not to. I don't think he can afford the people around him to leave. He was in those bankruptcy commercials. Oh, was he saying, don't get in it. Yeah.

If you become bankrupt, take it from me. When did that happen? If you become bankrupt, do a commercial like I'm doing. Yeah. Who had the bit? Was it? Was it Chappelle? Somebody about like Hammer, he got successful and then he immediately went bankrupt.

Like he had people from that he knew in kindergarten on his payroll. Oh my God. I mean, I really, watching the documentary about him and him talking about the house he bought right when he got famous. It was a glass house on the top of the hill. in Oakland so everyone could look up to him and be inspired. Sure. It was just like, come on. Oh, dude.

That's why when I started making money, I lived in a blimp. I remember we used to drive by Michael Jordan's house or what we thought it was in the suburbs of Illinois. And that was always very exciting. Just kind of being like. Was there like a basketball hoop on the garage? It was a huge mansion. You're like, someday, man. Someday I'm going to live in Chambers.

Have you looked up how much that house costs? Have you? No. Because it's less than you think. I'm not sure which neighborhood it was. I remember there was a house. A house that was like a couple blocks from our house that we always called the mansion. Because it was like it looked really big.

It was bigger. It was in Highland Park, Illinois. And he had a big 23 on the gate, which I see in the picture here. Sounds like you. I don't remember seeing that. But it's sold in 2024 for 9. million after being on the market for over 12 years. What the hell?

What the hell? That's a long time to have your house on the market. Maybe people were afraid of a baseball curse. It features nine bedrooms, 15 plus bathrooms. You know, sometimes I think too many bathrooms. Honestly, bathrooms, I think it's great to have a ton. Bedrooms, you can make into different things. They're not all going to have a bed.

I would love to have like a four bedroom, 10 bathroom house. He had a cigar room, a 14 car garage. A tall room. Fucking men. The home includes a regulation-sized basketball court. Well, I should hope so. The mansion includes a full-sized gymnasium fitness center, a circular infinity pool.

Oh, interesting. A putting green and a tennis court. Is that a lazy river? Circular inf- Could you imagine if you had that at your house? A lazy river? This is crazy. Initial listed in 2012 for 29 million.

It was reduced to 14.8 million. A nod to his jersey number 20. How is that a nod to that? It was reduced to 14 million. How is that a nod to his jersey number 23? Maybe it's a lighting. It's also a number. Something that's like it was reduced to 14 million, 2300.

14.855 million a nod to, I think AI just doesn't know. Yeah, exactly. In 2015, before finally selling in 2024 to an undisclosed buyer for 9.5 million. That's a, that's a major deal. He really took a bath on that one. That's a major deal because the amount of things you have on that, like that property, that's insane. I'm looking up the mansion

And it was listed for 30 million I'm looking up at the mansion To see how much it could possibly Go for now Go for mansion Go for mansion Hello Well, both Scott and Lauren

are on their phone Yeah but I'm looking at his home and it's beautiful I know I'm just here like a fucking asshole I'm looking up the mansion to see how much it could possibly go for these days And it's to be honest not that much Not that much And it's not that much different than my house that I just looked at the price of.

And now, and, you know, you know what I mean? You ever look up your old house that you grew up in? Is that to make you seem less wealthy? Is that what you mean? That's this line of reasoning? No, I'm just like. Michael Jordan's mansion is not the same price. No, no, I'm just saying that like we used to look up to that house all the time

and I just looked at compare. Oh, the mansion from your neighbor. Yes, yes. Yes. I'm so sorry. in order to compare it to how much my house was. And it's there about this. There was so many mentions.

We were talking about so many mansions. Wow. I wonder how much my parents paid for their house, probably like $1,000. My dad used to tell me about this. He said he paid $20,000. Jesus, correct. So upsetting. And this was in 1970.

And what even is that it's still got to be a reasonable number now. And they used to pay you to have a candy bar. Yeah. Okay, $20,000 in 1978 would have been. $100 billion today It's the equivalent of a hundred I like that laugh at the cat It's the equivalent of a hundred thousand now

Wow And meanwhile it is going The house Of what it's worth right now Is worth 12 times that So it's worth 1.2 million Yeah But which is not what my parents got for it

They paid $20,000 They paid $20,000 of my dad It used to tell me about like, and then it shot up to a hundred grand within the first couple of years. And then it sat there for over a decade, he said. It's just terrible how it is. Speaking of the value of things. This is something that happens in my neighborhood and it really bothers me. Okay.

I would say once a month, once every three months. Probably something more like that. Once every three months. Okay. I'll come out to my car. All right. Sure. You've room for room.

You want to drive around. Yeah. Yeah. It's very Paul. Yeah. That is me. Yeah. To a T.

I'm like Jay Leno, but with one car. Also, I have a bunch of injuries from falling down a hill. And you never wear jeans. And I never wear jeans that you know of. True. And I will find tucked into the window of my car a little business card that says, we buy junk cars. Yes. Now look.

Look, I know I haven't washed my car in a while. Sure. I know. My car's not a junk car. Yeah. You hope that they're putting that into every single car on the street just like... In case you know someone who has a junk car. Yeah.

But it seems personal, doesn't it? Yes, it does. It should say this isn't about you, but we're just letting you know that we buy junk cars. Much like Michael Jordan, you took that personally. And I took that personally. Yeah. And I think they should say something on the card that's like, obviously this, we're not talking about you. Yeah.

Just you know it. Do you have any friends? Give you some plausible deniability about the state of your. We buy junk cars. Now, your car is not junk and we would buy it, but we probably can't afford it. Yes, we buy junk cars. I wish we could buy yours. It's so nice.

We also buy good cars. J.K. Or like those places that are like, we buy shitty houses. Like, you'll see like flyers. Yeah. Where it's like, we buy your dump. You're probably thinking, I'm stuck here forever. No.

We buy shitholes like your home. The place where you lay your head at night, we buy that because it's trash. We buy that. We have to take a break. Yeah. Okay. Picture this. It's like 1130 at night.

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R-IP. Some music. Yeah, they wrote the last song the other day. They're not doing it anymore. Yeah. I listened to... We can still have the old ones.

I listened to the radio. It was Kiss FM and they played. What was the very last song? That's, I mean, in an older song so they can still play that. But it was, it's like they described it as a children of men situation, but for songs. There can only be, what, no new songs? The world's newest song was written today.

I got to rewatch something. I really loved that movie when it came out. I did too. And you know what? I rewatched it. I feel last year, the year before. And it's still great. Still good.

Yeah. Yeah. It's a good one. It makes you think about things. Oh, I have the opposite. puts your brain on. Yeah, I fell asleep. Oh.

Good, good. And it worked again. Yeah. Put my brain on ice. Do you think if you fall asleep during a movie, would the dream... You die in real life? Yeah.

No. Would the dream plot? Because sometimes it like goes right into... Yes, yes, yes. Like you start to imagine the plot in the dream. Would the dream plot be better than the real movie sometimes? Yeah. My brain is a really good...

Do I think this? My brain's a really good writer when I'm asleep. I've had some dreams that are straight. up fascinating. Me too. I love what you have. I don't want to hear about them, but I believe that. They're not worth telling out loud, but the stories I'm telling in there are incredible.

When you have like a cinematic dream, it's so exciting. Yeah. White screen. Yes. Wide screen eye maps. You can see the people watching. Yep. You can see the people watching.

You can see the people watching. They're shoving that popcorn. They're fat faces. Yep. Yeah. That would be so fun to be in a movie and then look out at everybody and be like, you fucking I'm kind of that. They should put that in every movie.

At least like a disgusted look on somebody's face. Just looking at someone in row E or whatever. Roe E. I'm back to going to the movies regularly, I would say. To go out to the movies. It's been really fun. I just saw a movie last week.

I had a blast. I met Arden at the mall. We went to Sephora and then we saw. Safari. We just met. Anytime I hear Sephora and then we went to the movies. I think of Jonathan. the pussycat dolls

leader's brother who had that makeup line any other reality TV show. It's like blowout. Blowout. And I think about him calling and it's all, it was a reality show at only last one season. It was all about him giving blowouts. And that was about it? No, I think this is more than one season. Oh, was it more than one? Anyway, I remember I watched the first season

and I think the second season like hardly any of the people came back. Right. I think he was barely there. Show me a picture of this man. But he had a, he, he was, Did he have a line of Sephora? No, he was getting a line of makeup going. I remember he called up his... A huge plot in the show. He called up his mom and said,

Mom, they just accepted us. It's Sapphora. So any time I hear Sephora, I think of... Oh, my Lord. So who's the Pussy Cat Talls lady? Nicole Scurziger? No, not her. Okay.

Who created him? Simon Cowell. Robin Anton. Jonathan Anton is his name. And that's right. Yeah. Here he is. So four.

I love this. Whenever I vaguely remember that. Anton. Anten deck. Ante. From Saturday, Tiki. They were the American Idol hosts.

Yes, they were. Which is by American Idol. Sorry, the pop idol hosts, which is why when American Idol came here, they wanted a duo and which is why I made the top 10. TV is so fucking funny that it's like they can't. Just allow it to be. different? Yeah. Yeah.

So this has two, too. Yeah. They have two people. No, I mean, isn't there a video recently where it was Nicole Skerzinger on Idol as a judge when Harry Styles was auditioning and she was the one who started putting together as a boy band? I don't.

I don't know. And they were giving her credit where it's due. All I remember is her. She was with Simon, but she's going like, no, it should be this guy. And then these, they'd be so cute.

They'd be that little boy band. Oh, this would be so cute together. And she's like putting all their pictures together. And they became... I believe you. What was your name? One direction. I believe you. I believe me that I saw that. I believe women.

That's just believe everything I say. From take that to one direction. Boy bands are where it's at. That's a great accent. I love that. I love those northern accents. I love that. Yeah.

Those places in England where they still say thee and thou. Do they really? We love them. Yeah. It still survives some places. We're coming out there very soon, by the way. That's very true. Looking forward to it.

Are we in the north ever? The north. We never go to the north. We never go to the north. You got to come down south to see us. But hey, we want to entertain Jordy's. You know what?

I always like when I go to other countries and I get the candy bars and stuff. And then I always feel disappointed when I find that I can access in L.A. Yeah. Like, oh, there's a store that has a lot of stuff. I'm like, I don't want that. I don't want it from here.

I don't want it today. I want it when I go someplace and it's special to me. There was a place. There was some snack. It's like some cornut snack, and I forget it's got a really dumb name. And I thought it was local to wherever I got it. And then it's just like they have the supermarket here. It's a bummer.

It's a bummer, yeah. I remember going to, like, McConnell's ice cream and, like, finding a shop. And then they sell it just right down the street. Yeah, yeah. It's a million McConnell's. Oh, yeah, it's at the stores. You think things are special in the night. No, nothing is special ever.

That's the moral of this podcast. It's like Jesus Christ, the Savior of the world. Yeah. There were four of them. That's the thing. Well, like the sort of like Spider-Man thing? Yeah, it was franchised. There were actually seven.

There was one on every continent. A, if you count Atlantis. That's true. The lost continent. Man, do you think they'll ever find Atlantis? And if they do, will there be like a different Bible for fish people? No, 100%. Yeah.

You think they just do whatever we do? Yeah. I think there will be different. They have their own stuff going on. There will be different laws in there. They have fish. versions of it. Yeah, yeah.

You think it'll be just like ours, but just fish base? It's going to... Fish pace. I can't believe it's to spell this out for you guys. It'll be exactly like our society all over the world except fish. It'll be exactly like our society all over the world. So that's one thing in your mind. Yeah.

Everywhere it's the same. Above ground, yes. You think everything is... I mean, there's little differences here and there. Little differences here and there. But other than that, above ground, everything is exactly... Below the sea, it'll be fish... people versions of things. On below deck,

do they have different rules? Yes, once they go below deck. Yeah. Yeah, because that's under the water. And they have to code switch when they go from below deck to upper deck. Yeah. They do an upper decker. That would be very funny if they... Every episode. Below deck, they just like have like more uncultured accents down there. Yeah, what are you doing?

They just start like pirates. They shit off the side of the boat. Yeah. And then on the upper deck they do upper deckers. Stick your arse out to port hoar. Janey and I watched Watch what happens live Because our friend was the guest bartender

Cynthia DePrice Sweeney, the author And it was very exciting to see her on TV She's not like a performer person So it was really fun And did she get to say like two or three things or two or three things? Yeah And then the rest of the time He was talking about below decks with Michelle Collins

And some below deck person And if you don't watch one of those shows, you're on a lot. You could not care. It is the most boring half hour television you could watch. Yeah. But thank God you watch them all in. So it's exhilarating. Well, we only watch.

Well, the bartender doesn't get to speak, really. They say one or two things. They like chat with them briefly. Yeah. And then for the rest, but they don't check back with them often. Ever. It's a tough gig, I think sometimes because you want to go, oh, I think they're promoting something.

And you also have to make drinks for not only. the people on stage, but the crew and the people watching the show. You have to make 150 drinks, and they have to be hot. They have to be hot drinks. Yeah. It's nothing but hot alcohol. When I say people watching the show, I'm talking about the people in the home.

The viewers, yes. No, we turn on the show. There was a knock on the tour. Yep. To be fair, you would invite people come and knock on her door. Well, we invited them to take a step that is new. Yeah. Take a step that is new.

So the guy was there and he's like, he's passing this, this piping hot, drink from hand to hand, like, please take it, please take it, please take it. Yeah, there was no handle for the mug. No. Yeah. It was a mug. It was a handiless mug.

It's a tough gig out there. A handiless mug. Otherwise called... Handelous Messiah. Otherwise, it was a cup. Nice. Nice. We're down to just Southern Charms.

It's our only reality show that we watch. Good for you. We were watching Vanderpump. Have you opted out of Vanderpump now? No more? We watched the first season of the new. It's pretty... It's grim, man.

We're watching Top Chef. We're watching another one that's called like America's Test Kitchen or something. No, it's not what it's called. It's something... It's like America's competition. Cooking competition. It's like ACC or something. But it's like, it's like exactly the same as Top Chef.

Right. In my humble opinion. Right. They should get sued like by the Michael Cratton State. But I'm liking it, you know. America's cooking competition or something. like that. Why is the fucking, why the Michael Crichton estate? Yeah. America's Culinary Cup. They changed it for the pit. You know what I mean? What? They changed it enough for the pit.

What? Oh, no. They have to. Come on. Because when you, because when you're in negotiations for a deal. Are they still suing? Yeah. You can't just, you can't end the pit. You can not come to a deal. Don't take the pit from me. I'm just. Don't take the pit from me. Okay. Are they trying to. take it away? No, no. They just want money. No, no, no. They do deserve a, you know, I don't know, according to me. I don't know what the day and just feel like my show changes. Hospital show. You know what I mean? Yeah, but when you look at the emails and all that kind of stuff. I'm not going to look those emails. But his emails. That's none of my business. That's none of my business.

Um, Noah Wiley, uh, the Pitt. This is my weekly, you know, show. Yes. I have a text. You watch it once a week. Yes, I know. I have a text chain with the women of our text thread because only we are watching it regularly. Yes. I am watching it regularly. Why aren't you on the chain? I don't know. It sounds more like a female empowerment chain to me.

And Janie references it all the time. Why aren't you in there? I thought only we watched it. I'll talk to them about adding you and see what is sad. I think you're going to get some pushback. I'm just going to say I didn't know Paul Watts. Obviously, obviously my wife does not. wants this to be separate and I have to respect that. I don't have to like it. There's,

I have to respect. Are there a ton of text about whoever the most hottest patient is? We do talk about sexual attraction. We talk about, you don't want to be part of it. See, she doesn't want me in there. Yeah, you want to. No, I do want to be part of. We send, we send anything pit related that we see, we send. Absolutely. Yeah. We're watching. We're all got the same. Yeah, I'll send that stuff to my wife and then I guess she probably passes it on to the text. Oh, so you think you get got there first. Yeah, you're the originator of all these pit memes. I'm. Come on. Anyone that come from Janie?

Yes. I'll ask her. You want to start that fight? Why don't you have a... No, we got four fights going over. Have a separate thread, a pit thread with Paul. Call it P-WP. Pit with Paul.

Well, do you know what our thread's called? What is it called? The pit crew. Shouldn't it be called pit heads? That's clever. I named it. Shouldn't it be called pitheads? Shouldn't it be called pit heads?

The shitheads who like pit heads? Shouldn't it be called? It's called armpits? That would be the one that you're on. Arm pits. Shouldn't it be called the pits and the pendulums? Shouldn't it be called quick, quick, let me get in there. I got the pits.

Quick, quick, let me get in there. You make fun of my baby when he has an attack of the pits? You know my classic story. Your classic story. Seeing JFK in the theater. The slap part is underrated, by the way. Yes. That woman slaps that person.

Honestly, the slap, when that was on TV, I was like, is this based on my famous story? It was. The novel Pushed by Sapphire? Is this what? Based on, anything I hear based on, I think, based on a novel push by Sapphire. One of the greatest subtitles. So somebody reads that made-up book where only the most horrible things happen. And they said, we got to get this on its feet.

It was one of the most, I've already said this before, but it was like one of my, like, first solo hangs with my sister-in-law. We went to see that. And I think the whole time we're like, oh my God. It was like every five seconds, something awful was happening. And then this? And we talked about this that we assumed it was a true story. Oh, yeah. Because it's so horrible.

Well, of course. I always say, I guess I'm sure we've had this whole exact conversation, but it always makes me laugh. You feel bad for a person that didn't exist. So I'm like, wait, I could write that. We're like, and then a fucking brick falls on her head. Yeah. She's got, yeah, she's hit by car. She's going to, yeah.

She didn't stab that a kid runs up and pushes pennies in the wound. Do you think anything that bad has ever happened to a human being? No. Yes. I think every human being has had one bad thing happen. That's what God allows one. Yeah. That's what God does.

One for you, one for me. That's what God said. One for you and one for me. Now a bad thing happens to me. But I don't care. People stop going to church. I just like the idea of like God saying, okay, I'll let a good thing happen and you can enjoy that. And then for me, I want a bad thing that happened.

That's what I like. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. All right. Let's take another break.

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Dave returns. Quince.com slash freedom. I'm thinking we're back. I'm thinking we're back. Paul, do you want to let our listeners in on the secret that you ordered food that's being delivered? And we're hoping to time it to the very end of this episode. How's it, how's the timing looking? I've been working on this food order and you just blurt it out.

You just tweeted it out. Well, I got the, um, the notification. that my order has been placed, which no shit, I placed it. Yeah, Jesus Christ. That's always interesting. Yeah. It's like, yeah, I know. So I'm like, what's the package is like, your package has left this place.

Your package is now in this place. Your package is now in this place. Your package is, no. Shut the fuck up. Is this. I don't need to know every single thing it did. I like that. I like that.

You like it. Your country, your package is now at the customs of Norway. Here's what I don't mind. I don't mind looking at a website to check and see where it is. I don't want you to text me every time. time the box moves. I don't get a lot of text. I do get emails for things like that. But I, I, I, I, is there any bigger heartbreak than your package is shipped and then it's just that a label has been created. Oh, the labels. I love it though hearing a label. The labels. You know what I,

I just bought, well, I have creativity. I just bought something that I want to return from bad bath and beyond, which I guess is a completely shuttered company. You're reminding me that we got to do the box opening that we talked about several weeks ago. And I've kept it up there not open. And I've kept it up there, not opening it just for this. We'll do it on the next episode. I bought this, what I bought was a twin mattress. What do you call it? Twins.

Gives a little extra cush. For the push? No. A mattress pad. A mattress pad. And now Lauren's explanation for that, her visual representation was making her hand do like a duck. Yeah.

Like a duck quack. That is mattress pad. And it was terrible. for many reasons. The mattress pad was terrible. Yeah, it was just, it was terrible. So I want to return it. Now, to return it, they want me to pay $19.

Oh, no. And then there's no bed bath and beyonds that exist. That bothers me. Because they want you to take it to a bedbath and beyond. No, I would have, I would pay, I would go to a bedbath beyond to avoid paying $19. Yeah, but $19. Because how much was the thing? It was like $50.

Now I'm paying $19 just to have tried it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That bothers me. Yeah. Yeah. That's shitty. what I mean you can I thought I thought you could just return anything what do you mean?

What do you mean? And you wouldn't have to pay for it right? Why how can they get it? You know what I mean? Like how can they get away? No, because they're saying like shipping and handling and they have no brick and mortars. So they're saying like that's just what it costs and they said or you can make your own label and I'm like well I'm kind of curious to go take it over to the post office and weigh it. Because I'm like maybe it'll be eight bucks. I don't think it's going to cost 19 to mail this thing. But what do I know? The mattress. How much going to weigh? It weighs like nothing.

bothers me. Yeah. You're right to be bothered. Thanks. By the way, I have just complaining about things, I have sent two messages to a certain

company. I'm not going to shame them yet. Okay. But they said that they'll get back to me in 24 hours due to a thing that I felt like I was tricked into buying. Well, you can shame them without naming them. Okay.

Well, I'm going to shame them. Shame on you, unnamed company. Yeah, because you can do, it's usually name and shame, but a lot of times you can do shame. You can do shame and then name.

Shame. Shame. Shame. Shame. I'll just explain. I felt like I was tricked into buying a parking pass that misrepresented where I was supposed to park.

When I got the address, it was a half hour walk away from... Jesus. That is horse a shit. Yes. And so I... This is for a concert. Yes.

This was parking for a concert. I wrote to the company saying that I felt like this was fraud. They said they would get back to me. 24 hours. They did not. I wrote again. They gave me a new tracking number and said they'll get back to me in 24 hours. No one has gotten back to me at all. They don't care. I'm going to name and shame very soon. Did you park there or you figured out beforehand? I was like, fuck. I can't walk a half an hour. No, that's insane. Janie had a situation. I mean, I can walk a half hour. I just like the timing of

you. You're going to walk for 30 minutes to get to a concert where you're going to stand for hours. And you're going to walk 30 minutes at the end of it at night. I don't think so, honey. I don't think so, honey. And there was a cheaper ticket on a different company that was right across the street. I was just trying to buy at the venue. Should we steal, I don't think so, honey from Los Colterises? Yeah. Yeah. What do they do it in reference to?

Well, it's different every time. Oh, I don't want to, the pressure of that. It's like this, except we do it in a sassy way for a minute. I don't like being sassy. Yes, you do. I think that's rude to be sassy. No. I prefer a much more measured tone.

No. Sassifras. And don't deny it. What is sass frass? It's a drink, right? I think it's a, it's like a. Sassafrash. To me, it's like a plant.

I was going to say that. Well, then say it, honey. I was trying to picture like a wheat. Is it an ingredient in Sars Sparilla? It's one of the three, it's a genus of three extant and one extinct species of deciduous trees. It's a penis. Oh, it's a penis. penis. I'm sorry, it's a penis. Penus.

Not a genus. Not a genus. It's a penis. Do you want to talk about Little Richard Sheruby? Why do we talk about him? He's dead. I know, I know, I know. Here's the thing. But what, I mean, there's some, in Little Richard Sheruby news. There's now a little Richard Sherrooby cult. I can't do this. And they are swarming hack claims 8.com. I can't do this.

Yeah. They're swatting us. They're review bombing it. I don't know why we left the option to write reviews on our website. No. For movies. But people, we thought people would review movies, but they're reviewing the site. Yeah.

And they're giving it a four. Out of five. It's, it just bugs me so much. It all adds up to less than five. Why? Why a four? But then they're not really explaining.

Yeah. No, they're just like, this isn't as good as I thought it would be. There's no novelty dictionary. Mm-hmm. I mean, yeah. We promised the novelty dictionary and did

we come through? No. And we still will tell you there is a novelty dictionary. Yeah, we're lying about it. Yes. Yes, we're lying about it. We feel like we're being review bombs because of our politics. Yes, exactly. And they're not giving us a chance. I think people are review bombing the site without even going on the site. Are they mentioning our politics? No. But some people are love bombing this site. And that's also been really a problem. Do you think I can't see through that? Yeah. Yeah. Saying this site is so sexy. I really, I've never felt this way about a site before. I'm like giving us you're doing. Giving us presence or the website presence, which we can't open. And then they're ghosting the site once they realize it doesn't work the way it says that. Yes. That's love bombing.

We are getting all these sociopaths, narcissists, and straight up wackadoos on hag claims8.com trying to tear us down. Yeah. When all we really want is for you to go visit it, subscribe, of course, to one of our many tiers. Please do the subscription. We have at this point, 58. different tears on hack claims eight. There's a tier for everyone, every one of the 58 types of people. I'm frustrated that people aren't doing it because I'm kind of like,

there's something for everyone. Does any of it work? No. Okay, so here's the little Richard Cherubi thing. Yeah. Is people are leaving messages on the site saying little Richard Sheruby sent me. And this is on like, so we have on our site,

obviously everyone's probably been to it, but there's like a post-it section where you can leave a post-it section where you can leave a post-it in quotes. You have to take a picture of a post-it that you've put on to something. But then it goes on to the site. Yes. It's a little animation of a post-it. And you stick it on there.

Of course, it falls the first time. Then you stick it back up. And then our version of the paper clip comes out and helps you. It's not clippy. It's clippy. Mr. Clips a lot. Mr. Clips a lot.

And he comes out and he says, what's happening? Yeah, he's not trying to help. He's very confused. He's like, you woke me up. He's like, what are he? What's going on? What's all this noise? Dude, stop.

And then he's in his bathrobe and then he just turns around and walks away. He's like, dude, he's a staple named Mr. Clips a lot. And this is what he does. And he never clips in here. Or staples anything. He goes to his fridge, which is relative to him, it's large, but to you, it's tiny. It's a mini fridge. It's like you have to watch all this happen.

It's like a kombucha. He takes it back to his room. And he's kind of like, and by the way, like, it's too big for him to finish. Can you just do this during normal hours? Yeah. It takes it back to his room. Anyway. He's got bottles and bottles of empty kombucha bottles all over the room.

He's putting the bottle, half filled, which is worse because it's ferment. It's fermented. Some of it's piss. And then he turns around. He looks to you and says, what are you doing in my room? Yeah. Because the camera turns and follows him as he goes in. Exactly.

And then he says, oh, the bottles. What if the alien from sign shows up? Yeah. Yeah. And then you feel dumb. Yeah. And then you feel dumb. Yeah.

And you see he's got a little baseball bat. And he does that song, Peanut Butter Jelly. Peanut Butter Jelly. Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat. And he does that a lot. He does it for so long. And then the Post-it falls down. And then you have to put it back up again.

And it comes out and goes, are you still here? I was dancing. He's got a towel wrapped around his head. Like the end of Ferris Bueller's Day off. Yeah. All of this to say, there's so much going on on this site, but really the only thing that we're, that's germane, this conversation is people are still leaving messages on the side. It's also your majesty.

It's also German. Mm-hmm. Um, and we got a message and we're going to play it. Yeah. So if you'd like to do that, go through all of that rigmarole. Yeah. Go to hagclaimdate.com and leave its voicemail. The good thing about it is it shows that people are dedicated. Like, I don't like that all that's happening, but it's if it, if it means you, you know, the people who get through are people who care. And we do apologize. I don't apologize because it's not my fault. And I'm sick of taking the blame for men's problems. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And if anyone wants to blame, it's little Richard Shrewby, may he roast in hell. Yeah.

Here we go. Hi, Threaton boys. My name is Rebecca and I'm from Maine. Oh, okay. I was introduced to you guys through Comedy Bang Bang from my ex. Makes sense. And I am forever grateful. I seek out him or all of your stuff because I think you're so funny.

Thank you. And I love re-listening to. the pod because it brings me joy and it's just a comfortless and I truly appreciate not only your humor but your humanity.

Thank you, Rebecca. I know this isn't the podcast about humanity, but you know. Anyways, I was wondering what are your hobbies? I know that

Scott is into comics and movies. I don't get to talk. And collecting that stuff. and of course Pals Hats and clothing and Lauren's little figures and stuff

But do you guys ever craft or make things I do a lot of different crafts and art and stuff and I was just wondering if you guys ever do kind of like making stuff

with your hands and whatever. Anyways, love you guys, and thank you so much for continuing the podcast. Thank you, Rebecca. Thank you, Rebecca from Maine. Thank you.

America's erect penis. Oh, wow. Do you guys craft? You know what? So a couple things. I am in a group that we call Class Club. And it's me and two other women.

So did you name this one too? I did probably name this one. and we do classes so we'll go sign up for a class we took a sewing class now do you a lot of classes you sign up for

are like eight weeks no we will usually do a one-off class you just do a one-off class okay we did a cookie decorating class we did sewing and a little bit of it was mostly sewing techniques we did and then we did pottery which we ended up doing for a couple months

and one of them has continued on for years now oh that's right I remember this we've done a few and maybe something else I'm We've talked about doing more. I really like it because it's like pushes me to try something. It's a fun way to hang out. And it also is not your typical like just go get dinner and spend $100 on dinner. But you're going to like go do a thing and learn something.

And maybe you like the thing or get interested. When we were in Costa Rica for like 10 days or whatever, one of the things we could do at the place we were staying is like, oh, go make dinner. Yeah. And it was like, it sounds like, oh, that's what I'm paying you for. Yeah. But I'm interested in taking. It's like fun to go to go do like we chopped up the chicken.

Yeah. You know, like put it in the pot with the rice and the beans and all the kinds of nursery rice. Chalked up a chicken and then put it in the pot. Make it all going back to a pot. I, but the thing actually is that I do need a hobby. Yeah.

And this was a discussion that might have recently. Because idle hands are the devil's workshop. Well, I don't feel my hands are idle. But I feel that I would like to dedicate. I don't see anything in them right now. Okay. I think I would like to dedicate. Like, I want to do piano lessons. I've talked about that. But I actually really want to. And I know we've all talked about it. But we do want to. But I'm like when who what we learn why is kind of a problem. But you know, Mike is someone who gets into a hobby very easily. What are? Because his hobbies are chess. Photography. Chess, photography. He, well, he plays basketball. He recently started playing table.

us with some friends who are very into it. He just went to a Majan club last night. He was totally in over his head, but he just went and did it. Oh, I can't. He tries lots of things. The poor benighted fool. He's been taking guitar lessons. You know, he just gets, he got into origami and, like, learned, like, everything.

I mean, he just gets very, you know, is. And does he keep up with some of the old ones, like origami or whatever. He still does origami, like, every day. And he leaves a crane at the scene of his murder. He often does leave a crane places. But my point is, I'm, like, surrounded by this, you know, all these hobbies that he has and I feel like I'm like you know I and you don't want to do the same ones he does because they're special to him and I'm not I'm not really interested in doing those things but I want to do my

own things but I also am like I don't fucking have the time you know neither is he I don't even know how he he just he his mind is more interested in doing that than well he's also ignoring all of you yeah well like you part of it is the conversation of like my phone time and then being like let's completely move that on the picture I like reading is that a hobby reading phone stuff No, reading books. No, reading books is a hobby, yes. I like reading books. I don't know that I have, I don't know that I do a thing like that enough to consider it a hobby.

But I do like being kind of crafty. It's satisfying when you realize like, oh, I could change this thing. Like if you buy some kind of accessory or whatever and you're like, oh, I could make this more personal. I could change the color of it. I could like buy supplies and like. I like that. Get high off of them. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. I get high. That's my hobby. I like that you personalize, customize. Well, thank you. Yeah.

That's fun. Yeah. That's fun. That's cool. Yeah. I, okay, I look,

I went on record the other day with Emmy and I said, I hate crafts because she's like, let's do crafts. Let's look record. I was like. Listen, honey,

here's what you got to know about me. I don't craft. I don't craft. Um, and cool up forced me then to craft. Um, and, well,

I've been getting, I've been really enjoying crafting with Holly because it's like, there's some things that we've gotten that are like, what happened after you were forced to craft? What did we make? I can't remember what we made, but it was like, I thought it was going to turn out like, and then it was fun. No, no, it was terrible. Oh, no, of course it's horrible. It sucked just as much of the time.

Have you ever crafted with a little kit? The other day. We made soaps with a kit that she got as a present. They're like sort of like, like, like, crystals and they're like glittery, but it's like a soap. It smells so good. But I was like actually. My skin's never been. When I saw it, I was kind of like, I don't want to do all these steps.

And then I was like, it's actually kind of fun. It's like a science project. Like we're going to go step one, two, three. And then finally we made it. And I was like, we did it. Like on the back of these mac and cheese boxes, there will be a craft usually that you can. And it's not just craft mac and cheese. I know what you're going to say.

Yeah, I know. Oh, do you think they feel compelled because their name is craft? The power of craft compels you. And so they sometimes will have a little craft of something you can do with a box. And I'm always like, oh, that's cool. We should do this. Put it on your hand and go, I'm a box of cheese. And then the minute the mac and cheese is made, I'm so tired from it that I throw the box away.

But it is exhausting. So pouring the powder. Come on. There's more steps than that. Stirring. Stirring. But look, I... Reconsulting the instructions.

Pulling them out of the trash over and over now. I think the idea of doing stuff like dying Easter eggs and stuff like that, I'll get there. But it's just like, you know, when it's like a half an hour until I have to go to work and Mee's like, let's craft. It just feels like... No, you know, Easter eggs are a funny one because we just did that and I sort of was like,

it's this whole thing now and then it takes like five minutes. Like it's actually nothing, but she did pick out this... I remember as a kid, it was like an all-day thing, though. Well, I didn't say, because I think it's relative to your brain. Yeah, I guess so. She gave, she had picked out this tie-dye egg kit

that I started to do and I was like, this fucking blows. Like, it was so hard to me. Like, I was like, you have to wrap the egg, dip the egg, wrap it. Like cloth. Put like a dropper through a hole on a plastic thing. And then like, and it wasn't like spreading.

And I was like, why don't we just put them in the color? And then we did. Yeah, dear. And it was much easier. And I'm not allowing a unique kit like that to enter the home again. You got to get good at the basics before you can move on to some way. We should never move on from pause. Well, that was pause.

What? Pause? What do you think you're fucking doing? They're doing all sorts of shit. You better not. Pause. Every company. We've talked about this before.

in the 70s and 80s, they did their one thing, they stayed in their lane, they were good at it. And then they were like, oh, if we diversify suddenly, fuck that. We don't need pause to do anything else. Why are you going to be a squeaky wheel? Shut up. But you know, we've talked about hobbies and goals in the past and things.

And I'm sure I said piano a million years ago. I did too. I think we all did. And I said I was going to do it within a year. We also talked about tap dancing. That came up recently again for me. Yeah. I saw a video of a tap dancer.

And I went, now that could be something I could try. We should just learn one routine. That's what I've, like an eight. No, not even eight. Like a six minute song. A five minute song. Why it would be six minutes? How about three minutes?

Yeah. How about one minute? Let's just try that. How about we learn one TikTok dance that lasts ten seconds? Yeah. By the way. No, that sounds terrible. My other hobbies, by the way, are baking cakes, but I haven't baked one in a while.

Can you bake one for us for next time? For not next week. For the next time? I can maybe. For our next session. Maybe. A chocolate cake. What's this maybe bullshit?

Just do it. Chocolate cake coming up. Oh, no, I don't want it. I do. Four slices, shomp, shamp, shamp, shamp. And then also. Four slices shamp, champ, champ, shamp. Yes.

The famous. Yes. And then, and then also the big green egg. I would cook various. Big green things. Yeah, just whatever's big and green. I would cook out of lettuce. Yeah.

Anyway, those are some of my hobbies reading. And I play video games from time to time. I go in and out of doing that. I buy video games and never play them. When did the last time you played a video game? I honestly have not wanted... It's been over a year when my nephew was here. And they bought Mario Party, I think it's called,

which is like a board game kind of thing. A board game? No, but a board game that takes you into worlds. Oh, okay, okay, okay. So I played that a little bit a year ago. But I... Oh, you know, and we have one over here that Emmy comes, anytime she comes down here

she flips it on and goes... A tabletop, Pac-Man, Gallagher, you know, multiple games. Yeah, and she always is like, let's play! And then, so she plays a little Pac-Man. So that's, but I'm worried about, you know, putting a big video game on a screen and showing her that these exist. Oh, Holly plays video games now. She's really good.

What is she playing? It's crazy how good she is. She's beating the boss, like in Mario and stuff. She's like beating bosses. Wow. She's a boss beater? Yeah. She plays Kirby. She plays Animal Crossing and Mario Kart. I was listening to Dan Lippert and Ryan Rosenberg's podcast, Man Dog Pod, where Dan was talking about playing a game called Arc Raiders and playing it online with other people that we know. And they designed their characters so they all had bowl haircuts. And they call their team the bowl cut boys.

So you encounter other strangers. That's so funny. Yeah. And it reminded me of during, I think this was after, after quarantine maybe or maybe like towards the tail end of it. I was playing Red Dead Redemption 2 online with Zach Reno and the actor Michael McMillian. And we had a team we called ourselves the Last Looks boys. Because we're all Hollywood assholes. Last Looks is a term, by the way, for the makeup.

and hair people come in. Right before the camera's about to roll. It's like, see if they come in and fix whatever. Look at these sweaty assholes. Yeah. And one time we got chased by a guy, because this happens online, online gaming. Somebody will be an asshole. Yes. And so he was like killing us, like immediately respawn, kill us again.

We quit out of the game, came back on. He fucked. This guy kept finding us. Wow. He hated you. It was crazy. That's so funny. Do you think it was someone who actually knew who you were?

No. I mean, look, I don't know how you can find that such a thing else. But this is the exact plot of like scream or whatever where it's like, do you think this killer knows who we are, you know, has any relationship to us? Exact plot. Look, hey, that's going to be it. Thank you, Rebecca. Thanks for your question. Yes, thank you for listening.

Guys, what do we have going on? And obviously, Paul and I, May 21, Pap, Pop, Pop, Pop, Pop, Pop, Pop, Pop, Pop, Pop, Pop. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous talking about it. We're rebooting Max Headroom. Paul and I are starting the Comedy Bang Bang Tour on Monday in Toronto. That's right.

And then we're going to. Hopefully I've gotten out of jury duty. Yeah. Do you think you might? And, yeah, please don't get put on a, just explain to the judge that you, yeah, you'll be fine. Do you know Alamoni Tony? Does that ring a bell?

We're starting in Toronto and then we're going off to so many cities. Just check out where we're going to be, but it all kicks off Monday. So we're very excited. It's going to be so much fun. That's so exciting. Check out CBBWorld.com slash tour for all of the tickets. And we want to see you out there. I also want to tell people that this is looking to the future July, Sunday the 12th of July,

at Lodrum and Highland Park. We will be recording our second Varietopia special. We'll be recording our 2025 tour show with musical guest Medusa and magician Artune Nazareth. This was such a fun tour as well. Great, great show, great stuff in it. And that will again be limited tickets available for that. These tickets are so limited, by the way.

They're so limited. I want to mention this to people. The rooms have two. seats. Yeah. Yeah. So you're one of the lucky two. Yeah. So yeah, that's Sunday, July 12th at Laudrum. Come on out and see us. Varietopia.com. Varietopia.com. And as for this show, we're going to be doing a big unboxing of this thing

that I bought on Instagram in the next episode. So you got to wait a week for that, but that'll be very exciting. Yeah. You got to see what's in this box. Okay. Bye. You know,