Threedom - I Definitely Tuned Out and I Agree With You

Episode Date: November 20, 2025

Scott, Lauren, and Paul discuss clowns, theme parks, and Scott’s beep house update before playing Conversation: The Game. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Unlock every episode of THREEDOM and THREEMIUM, ad-free, on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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and a bottle of vitamin D3 plus K2. When you first subscribe, that's drinkag1.com slash freedom. It's morning in New York. Oh, God. Hey, everybody. I'm Mandy Patinkin. And I'm Catherine, And we have a new podcast. It's called Don't Listen to Us. Many of you've asked for our advice. Tell me, what is wrong with you people?

Don't listen to us. Our Take It or Leave It Advice show is out every Wednesday, premiering October 15th, a Lemonada media original. Freedom! Freedom! You have to be fucking. You are fucking with us. What is wrong with you? I'm sorry. You're mentally unstable. Now look, just my computer. We can't keep doing this this way because it's very embarrassing.

Freedom! You never look, I mean... You never how you look. You never how you look. You never how you look, you know what you mean. You never go down, down, down, down, you ever go downtown? Never go down, down, down, down. You ever go down, down, down, down.

You ever go down, down, down, down, down. You ever go down, down, down, down, down. You ever go down, down, down. I wanted to stop every time. And we wouldn't let it. It was a good groove. It was a really good song that I really liked. A number one single, perhaps.

Why are you grabbing my trash? I'm... Trash is a euphemism. First of all, don't refer to yourself that way. I was intrigued by what this was because I'd never seen this package before. Lauren ingested something right before the show. The backstory on this...

Is you eat occasion. Can I say what it is first? Sure. Say what it is. It's called a made good bar. It's a crispy square and it's strawberry flavor. Now that O's in good, they're linked to suggest the Olympics. Wedding rings.

Oh, yes. So this is a snack for married people. It is. So on Halloween, all hallows Eve. A few weeks back, obviously. Yes. Holly received a Rice Krispy treat in her bag. Homemade?

No. Okay, thank God. She loved it. is she tracking all of her candy by the way because emmy got a bunch of candy we let her have one when she got home and then i think we then like through the rest of the she kind of forgot about it her her treat bag is still full her treat bag is in the dining room chair and it's still full and she hasn't brought it up in a couple days but she does love candy but this uh so i went to the store and i thought oh i'll get her like a healthy version of a rice crispy tree of rice crispy tree yes and i bought the one that has strawberry flavor in it and she was disgusted and the first thing she said to me at 5 a.m. this morning she came into my bed and then she said

Mommy don't want to eat that strawberry thing in my lunch again and I said okay and she also said don't put fruit roll-ups I put like these little healthy quote-unquote fruit roll-ups which she normally loves and now now she's turned against them. Have you ever seen that

video where it's a little kid getting off the school bus and greeting his mom and saying, Hi, Mom. Terrible sandwich today, by the way. Oh, God. The reviews are in. Yeah.

I get reviews. I find it kind of fun. I'm like, okay, now it's a new challenge of what I'm going to put in. Right. I find it interesting that you allow Holly to go into your room at 5 in the morning. Yeah.

What do you mean allow? Well, we have a, we have a, this is interesting. One parent tipped us off to it. Is the green light thing? The green light thing. So we switched Demi into a big girl bed. Uh-huh.

that she can get out of on her own but then we also on her birthday gave her an alarm clock which which she doesn't really know how to tell time but what it does is 15 minutes before she's allowed to go out of bed the top turns yellow

and then when it turns green originally when it turned green she was still in her crib we said that's when you can call for us so she would like the minute it would turn green she go it's green it's green it's green we We're waking up going, oh, God, okay. I do that too.

So then we're like, now you don't have to shout out it's green. Now, now you have to stay in your bed until it's this, until it's green. But then you can get out. You can turn on the lights and you can play with your toys. You can do whatever you want. Yeah, make your copy. Okay, so she's doing independent play before you're even awake? I mean, it's usually I am awake.

And it's very funny to watch her on the cam, like, the minute it turns green, like, get out of bed and excitedly turn off the clock and turn off her. sound machine and flip on the lights and stuff like that. But it's like giving her this responsibility that she really likes, you know, and it's proud that she's like, I did it. It turned green and I did the thing. That's very cute. I've heard of that before.

Yeah. Yeah. She stays in her room all night typically, but every once in a while, she'll come into our room. But I don't mind. I like it when she gets in the bed. Yeah. That's sweet. I feel like Emmy would too much. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Yeah. And you'd eventually be out. You'd be sleeping on the floor. Like Cool Up would say, this is actually working great. Yeah. Except for one thing. Yeah. It's a little crowded.

I know a way we can all have more space. Christmas sprung in your home? Yes. The truck pulled up yesterday. Do you have a storage unit with? Because I know Casey does that. She posted even about this. So it's not private.

It's a competition between the two of them as to how early their Christmas decorations can go up. It sounds like a movie. Like a funny movie. Like a vacation movie. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yes.

Yeah. So they, they, the truck pulled up yesterday. My car was ejected from the garage. And so now the entire garage is filled with stuff. And it's, it's been a transition. I just, every once in a while on our shared calendar, a day will pop up that will just say Christmas load in. Yeah. Or Christmas lights go up today.

You know, stuff like that. I'm going to wait until Thanksgiving week. I have the week off and Holly does too. So I figure we can do some good Christmas decorating together. Fun. That's the sensible time when it should happen. Yeah. Yeah.

I always think Thanksgiving is a good time to get it going. Cool up. It says the day after Halloween. Yeah. Yeah. Having just been in London that, of course, they don't even have Thanksgiving. Right. So or whatever equivalent is not the same time.

Turkey. So they go right to Christmas. Yeah. Right to Christmas. Do they have Halloween though? Yes, they do. Ooh. Hooling.

Has really, to the point where we were checking in a hotel on Halloween day and the staff of the hotel had like Halloween makeup on. Oh, wow. They all decided to do a clown theme. Oh. And you got, you understood immediately, oh, it's up to the individual person, how far they want to take the theme. Uh-huh. They'd wear their uniforms. course, but they could put face paint, and one guy just had like a crazy tie.

And you can tell he was like, I'll wear a tie. This is as clowny as I get. I'm a cool, I'm a cool guy. It's a lot to have clown makeup on it, your place of business. Yes, yes, yes. I mean, that adds probably an extra half hour at least, 45 minutes to your prep. Unpaid labor. Well, I mean, if you saw this makeup, you would not think that.

Well, I want to. Will you buy me a ticket to England? Okay, I mean for next year Yes Well we recently went to the What is it? Universal What is it called? The Halloween Horror Nights or whatever

Yeah At Universal, yeah And I haven't been in like At least 10 to 12 years I mean I haven't been in a very long time All the monsters grew up Yeah Wow

I was so proud of them Frankenstein tall now Some of them are retired You just go by They're on their porch It was You know Two things about it

Speaking of that Not to interrupt Remember the story that I've told several times about trick-or-treating and about the gentleman that I see who any time we go up there says like, you know, we've, we bought this house 35 years ago. Yes, yes, yes. I intentionally went up to him this year trying to maybe even go to him into it. Yeah. And he seemed so haggard and over Thanksgiving or Halloween rather. Wow.

Wow. That he just was kind of giving out candy going and going, okay, okay, okay. So it didn't happen this year. He's distracted. He's distracted. Yeah. Maybe his mistress is threatening to tell everyone. Oh, shit.

Oh, my God. A private detective came by and got a picture of them together. He's like, okay, go, go, go, go, go. You only bought this house two years ago, and I know it. I don't make everybody know it. But I was going to say, so there was the one of the. Hold on a second. Are we saying sorry to interrupt now?

I thought I, you know, lot of one. I tried it out and did not get the reception. It didn't feel right. It doesn't feel right. I didn't need it. I'll say that much. But the theme was kind of based around the movie Terrifier, which is like a scary clown,

which I don't know anything about. But so there were a lot of clown freaks running around with like chainsaws coming at you, like, you know, and I was, the last time I went was probably 12 years ago. And I remember, and I don't know if I went to that or like Queen Mary,

different things where they have like haunted mazes and people trying to scare you. Not very far. The haunted hay ride. Not scary. Farm. Sorry. Look, I used to work there.

I thought this year, you know, I could take it in what it was. Prove it. For, I could see. Act like it. I think I've grown up quite a bit. And I wasn't very scared. Yes. I was like, scared because I'm like, I understand you're scaring me and it's creepy.

And it's creepy. Yes. I don't love it. But I'm also going like, I'm not like, ah. But in the past I would like scream and like cower. And I just did not really feel anything like that. But we went in these haunted mazes, which were the production value at Universal is so high. that it's just...

Do they still have the big plane that's been crashed? Well, that would be on the tour, right? On the tram. Yeah, I didn't get to go on that. Okay, yeah. But the... Just to explain what that is to the listener,

there was a, I think it was a Tom Cruise movie that they crashed a plane and so they had, they constructed it. Oh, the mummy, right? Oh, was it the money? The dark universe mummy? Yeah, it might have been where they were they built a life-size crashed plane.

Yes. And then they were like, well let's not destroy it let's just use this over and over so I've seen it in so many TV shows heroes uh you know so many and then they use it every year for Halloween horror nights where like there's monsters in this crash plane and stuff like that makes sense yeah yeah so I did hear that on that tour now and on the haunted thing you get out and you walk around you walk around you you walk around yeah by the psycho house yeah there is a famous sorry no I just wanted to say pardon pardon if I could just finish

Can't finish? There's everything's changed. There's so defeated and deflated. The mazes were scary and they went on for so long that you're kind of like, I can't believe I'm not out of here yet. And there's someone coming at you from every room. That's a lot of value. Yeah. But the quality was so good.

Yeah. I think I've been to some of these sort of more, you know, not as high budget situations. It was just actually very exciting to kind of see like what was in every room. It should be, right? Like, I mean, this is where movies, magic happens. Yeah. But they also, I guess they save so much money on making the, the jaws exhibit. So, so shitty.

Where the guy in the boat and the boat are made of the same material. Like, they're always one molded piece. Well, that's like a really old part of it, though, right? I mean, that's been around since this seven days. They could update it, though, make it better. Yeah, they should make it kind of scary. Yeah. But also, I think they feel like who cares about Jaws anymore.

Oh, that's disrespectful. I know it's disrespectful. But you know what I mean? Like, why sink some money? Well, then why do it? You know what I mean? Because it's there. And what else are they going to do?

But I mean, if it's such a staple. And of course, John's is like one of the most famous films. Yeah, I agree. To this day. I mean, they don't have the 18 van there anymore. Remember when you would pass that? I've never been to the Hollywood horror nights, I don't think.

Let's go tonight. So, yeah. It'll just be regular Universal Studios, but we should go and we'll pretend. There should be a thing where they, you can pay a little extra. to do it off season and they'll just have people on reserve

who will, just for you. Monsters who are like on call like a doctor would be. We also got to go on the Nintendo Super Mario. Oh, how was that? I haven't been able to. It was really fun.

I'd been on it once before, but it was, I had to go at like the crack of dawn to get there at the right time and get like early passes. You skip the line and blah, blah, it was a whole thing and it still took 30 minutes in the line.

Yeah. This, no one was there because everyone was doing the mazes. Doing the horror stuff. Perfect time to go. ran through the whole building to get to the ride. The ride itself is very silly, but it was making, Mike was making me laugh.

That's fine. I was a good relationship. I was crying. I have been to Lego Land's 1,000 hours in hell, which is one of the scariest things I've ever endured. A thousand hours in San Diego? Yes. It's called Lego Land.

A thousand hours. That's too many hours in hell. It's there Halloween. I would spend 900 hours there. I would do $500. It's really horrible because they ask you, when you go in, they ask you to say into like a, you know, sort of, you know, box, you have to say you're the worst thing you've ever done.

And then that will figure into your experience as you walk. This is like Scientology? Sort of. But I mean, they don't use it against you to like blackmail you. Oh, okay. It is just to tailor the experience to your specific. What would you say if you had to do that? If you said, you know, like, I lied to my mother on her deathbed.

What would you say? What would you lie about? Like she asks, did you promise me you'll do this? And I say, yeah, of course they won't. I'm like, I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. Or you could say, like, I cheated on my spouse or I, you know, my child, I denied my child, you know, things like that. I'm asking what you would say.

Well, that's none of your business. That's between me. That's between me and the box. And the box. Lans, 1,000 nights and hell. A thousand hours. A thousand hours. Oh, Jesus is more now.

Well, you're going to spend a thousand nights in hell because you're punished for the thing that you do. And you walk through. There's a very realistic devil that's really, really upsetting. The Lego stuff doesn't figure into it at all. Oh, really? Not the monsters are made of Lingo? They shut that stuff down. Do you even see any of it?

Or is it covered with sheets or something? You can see it like through a sort of gauzy smoke. And it's like it makes it worse because you wish you were there having fun. Yeah. And they have actors like playing and stuff. Like as kids like, like, oh, how fun this is. Have you been to Legoland? I've still have never been.

I know there's a certain age where it's no longer fun, like seven. Okay, because maybe I should do that over Thanksgiving break. One day at Lego Land. Yeah, that'd be fun. One day at Lego Land. 24601. That's the zip code for Legoland. Have I told you about the Universal Studios pictures that I take?

I don't know what I've told you about these. No. You kept one secret from us this whole time. pictures? So when you take some pictures? I take pictures. The first time I ever met and I have parties.

The first time I ever met Kulap's oldest sister, she came out to visit us for maybe a month. And she's 81. Is that correct? Yeah. Yeah.

And we didn't even think she had a month to spare, but she, no. So Kula was a bit of a surprise. I think she was 10 maybe. I can't remember, but she came out and stayed with us when she was 10.

And we went to Universal Studios and, I had like a camera and you couldn't even see what the pictures were. You had to go get it developed. This is how long goes. Wow. This is 90. This is the year 2000, I think.

In the year 2000. So we took a bunch of fun pictures in the parking lot of her sister doing all this crazy stuff. Like there's a there's, you know, like being scared at the Frankenstein parking sign. Oh, sure. And all sorts of just a lot of. random pictures, and I sent him to her. And then she had a baby who is now, who caught. She had a baby.

He's a boy. It's a boy. Of course. We've talked about him on this show many times. He had the sneaker. We had a baby, the entrepreneur. So over the years I then have.

What was that? It was David. They had a baby. It's a boy. Over the years, I have taken him to Universal Studios and had him reenact the same pictures that his mom. Yes. over the years.

Exactly. To see what about genetics. Right. What they can tell us. And so anytime he comes to visit, he's like, do we have to do the pictures again? So I take him. So now Emmy, I've started taking them with Emmy as well. And then sometimes when her sister comes out with him, I'll have the both of them reenact.

And is he cool to do it then? Oh, he's always cool to do it. Yeah. He enjoys it. And we made like a photo album of them all of like, this is now a 25 year process of me reenacting these pictures. that we took for fun. Jesus.

But it's cute. It's very cute. That's cute. How cute. Yeah. It's a cute little thing that you sing about. Lauren, you're being very cute right now. I'm trying to sing like that thing.

You're retorable. It's a cute little style. I met a guy who was so young. Stereophonic. There was an actor who sang like that. And it kind of bothered me because it was not very exciting. Just right out of the window. oh my god what she's right out the window of you you could stand up and look

you gotta be more over this way i see her you see her i see her i see two dogs there she is that was nuts thrilling that was thrilling wasn't it my oh so yeah this act this actor had a voice that was too modern sounding it did not capture 70s enough yeah yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because she was supposed to be this sort of Stevie Nix stand in. And Stevie Nix sounds like this. Yes, so we see if it's all you want to freedom. That's like when Conan is trying to sing earnestly.

That's what it sounds like. Conan the Barbarian. Yeah. Conan. The lamentations of the women. Drive your enemies before you. I've never seen that movie Conan the Barbarian. Oh, yeah.

I just watched it for, I mean, a couple of years ago. Oh, God. Jesus Christ. I'm going to get some water. We have to take a break. We'll be right back. But I do have to, I have an exciting announcement. Oh, this is exciting.

On the other side of the break. We'll be right back. Oh, boy. These days, cold mornings, holiday plans. So much going on, right? Well, this is when I want my wardrobe to be simple. Stuff that looks sharp, feels good, and things. that I will actually wear, not just put in my closet and be aspirational about, oh, that would

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That's why they offer a risk-free trial. Go to mill.com slash wiser for an exclusive offer. Shand, we're back. We're back. And guys, I said I had an exciting announcement. You did. Now, let's see if that's true or if you were having us on. I actually think you'll be very intrigued.

What's it going to be, though? Is this part of Lauren's topics, though? Well, I don't know. Is it? Do you think it can be retroactively added to Lauren's topics? It can be. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Of course we all know Lawrence Topics It's one of our favorite features This is blowing my mind right now If it's what I think it is I love it Just keep talking What do you think it is? Oh that was just quoting Donald Trump Jr.

Oh, okay What is it? I No longer Live in a beep house Wow Okay Wow

Okay wow how did you resolve it First of all I thought you're going to say you had we're having another baby. Yes, because historically impossible topics. I just threw away my sperm. Okay, just one time into the trash. I always jerk off into a trash case.

It's just the most efficient way to do things. No, the ones that they harvested on the table, they'd been keeping in the lab or in the refrigerator or whatever. We finally just said, like, no, we can get rid of it. Yeah, you can always make more. You can drink it, do whatever you want with it. okay that's absolutely disgusting now let's get back to this

the beep house people are going to be very relieved to hear this yes yeah in fact I noticed when we were looking for voicemails on the last episode you found where the beep was going to show no a lot of people were like hey if you if you're looking for the beep do this do this whatever so what'd you do

okay so Lauren as someone who constantly looks in this room for new things yes I love to look around you have not noticed the big new thing right over there that Hold on let me just right

turn your head to over there underneath the television is that like a DVD player or something or it's a record player it's a right yes

that whole system is new I see yes there was not that that was on a bookcase nothing was there yes there's a okay

there's some shelving now and there's a there's a it's very nice it's actually better than the other thing you were trying to this is very high quality I like it

yes so I finally got a a new phonograph It's been a I've been on a quest to get the right system I got this new Victrola which plays via Bluetooth to whatever speakers we want It's very nice That's nice

And so I had my That's a cool feature Yes It's very nice So I had my AV person come And this is by the way Someone I've used for years and years and years That I've recommended to all my friends

And they all love him To all my friends Shout out to Scott Amarelli Great guy and um so he came over to to install it as well as do a couple of other things and and he said when he was here well no when he was here it just popped in my head i said i wonder if he could figure out where this beep is coming from so i said hey weird question for almost a year of we've heard a beep every 60 seconds in our house would you i don't know how you've handled this is that something

that you think you could figure out and he and he's the kind of guy I love this about him, where he took it on as a challenge. She was like, hell yeah. Let me go look for it. And so he went into the room where we hear it the loudest. And he called me in there and he's like, I feel like I'm going crazy. Because any time I hear it and then I go stand by where I heard it, it then sounds like somewhere else. I said, this is the exact problem that we're having.

Yeah. It's a moving beep. So he went up there and it's a room that has exposed duct work. and things like that. So there's a lot of crevices up there and you just kept going with a flashlight. Exposed crevices. Exposed crevices.

Yeah. Knicks and crannies. I like nukes, but I don't like crannies. See, I'm more of a cranny girl. Yeah, I get that. So he looked everywhere, couldn't find it. And I said, maybe it's up in the crawl space in the garage. Whoa.

Which is not even an attic. It's just a crawl space. Yes. He went up there. It's fun to crawl up there, though. I love it because you can hit your head. It's a space where you can crawl. It's a space for the family to crawl.

You can get claustrophobic. It's great. He went up there and I was sitting in this room and suddenly I hear the beep super loud. Oh my God. What the fuck was it? And I, and then the door swings open and he's holding a smoke alarm in his hand. That was in the crawl space? That was in the crawl space.

Apparently right before we bought the place, they, renovated this place and they, they dropped down the ceilings or something like that. And so this crawl space was just where a ceiling used to be. And it was hardwired into the ceiling. That's why it's been going for a year. We just thought that when it first started, we were like, oh, the battery will last a month, maybe two. And it'll, it's been hardwired into the system. Oh, my God.

But not our actual alarms and smoke detector system because we've checked that already. And they said, no, you don't have anything beeping. This is in the old electric. That's fucking system. to leave it there. They've just left it there and... I would hunt these people down. Yeah, they deserve to be punished. In the town square. Mm-hmm. Hopefully they're the town square because that'll aid with the hunting.

You know, if they leave the town square. It would be helpful if they stayed there. Yeah. Until we find them. Mm-hmm. But, um, so he's... Oh, my God. Were you jumping for joy? Did you kick your heels? Click your heels? He goes, do you want me to switch the battery and go hook it back up? I said, no. There's no reason for it to be up there. Cut those wires. Ah, it was so, and so, and so it's just been So he took it apart. So happy for it. He's like, do you want to keep it? I said, no, just throw it into the trash, please.

I'm genuinely happy for you. Thank you so much. I'm so relieved. It's crazy. Also, it's nice to hear this is where it was because there's no way, Paul or I would have been crawling our asses up there to help you. Oh, hell no. And we forgot, we forgot to go look forward.

We forgot to go look and we were going to do what he did for the first hour of this quest. Stand there and be confused. Well, I was going to get the ladder out and force one of us up there. Yeah, exactly. You should have kept it as a train. trophy though. Yeah, and bronzed it. Yeah. Well, no, mounted it like a deer head or something. Or you should have kept it outside so you could still hear the beep if you ever miss it. That's a good point. Although it wouldn't be hooked up to the electrical system.

When we got home from London last night, we came home to a beep house. No. And we we transferred it to you. We solved it very quickly, but it was the annoying process of because our home is small. And so we have a smoke alarm. CO2 detector and another smoke alarm, like within very close proximity to each other in three different spaces. So it's hard to tell which one it is. So you have to go and stand. Then you're like standing in the between them. Yeah, between.

And seeing, so we finally got it and put it in there. And I pressed it and it seems to be okay. But I feel like the different devices should make different noises so you always know which one. It should also say. I'm the one over here. I'm the smoke detector. Mm-hmm. I'm the other smoke detector.

I'm the CO2. Yeah. Beep, I'm CO2. Beep. I mean, also, I'd be helpful if it was like carbon monoxide. Yeah. Or is the beep of a carbon monotide device. You'd rather know that because you need to know what you're supposed to do next.

Your battery is low. They could play song. The least it could say as your battery is low. Or a song that has your battery is low in the lyrics. Oh, I know a few. Yeah, I'm going to think. we moved my mom out of her place recently and she stopped beeping no we no she's still beeping we found that when any of her smoke alarms would beep she would disconnect them sure that's the way

to do it mom great job well that's good great job did she impart this information very casually like oh i just disconnect them you something like to that effect yeah yeah gotta love parents got to love parents. Gotta love them. You're contractually obliged. Yeah. You know what? Even if you're trying not to, sometimes you do anyway and it's hard. Do you think our kids will love us more than we love our parents? Wow. No, you're not in favor of Lauren. You love your parents. Yeah. I love my parents. I technically love my parents. I love my parents. They're both dead. It's easy to say. No, they were great. Yeah, they were great. Perfect.

They were fine. They did the best they could. It's perfect. Perfect. Perfect. that's all anyone can do is the best they can now we're freaks from a different time some would say one one should expand one's knowledge so you can do better than than you were able to the day before even yeah i you know some people do the best they can and they stay there at that level it's funny i think about when i think about my parents parenting style um and how i wish it had been a little more modern um then i think about their fucking parents and it's like how did they grow up yeah And this was better for sure. They probably thought that they were doing their. Oh, yeah. Everyone just hopes like, well, I'm not going to make the mistakes that I hated. Yeah. Although I do think some parents say, I'm going to make the same mistakes because that's just what parenting is.

Yeah. I think people settle into that. Yeah. They go like, well, I survived it. Yeah. Well, that's always the argument for hitting your kids. Yeah. Like, I turned out fine.

No, you didn't. You didn't. You're a kid hit it right now. It's bad. It's bad. This is bad. Yeah. No, I, I, you know, you don't want to make the mistakes of being too, not, not giving enough discipline, but I feel like everyone tips too far into the discipline thing because you don't have to like give angry discipline to kids necessarily.

You just need to tell them what I know. I don't know. I don't. I can't imagine. You get frustrated though. I can't imagine. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's easy to get. You're dealing, you're dealing with somebody you can't truly reason with. What are you saying? Well, it's, it's, it's, you, it's easy to get frustrated. So you. and like snap. Oh, yeah. Well, sometimes I'm like, whenever I've had to be firm, I'm like, I can't believe I just sounded like that.

I know. But it's like something is dangerous. I'm like, stop doing that. I'm like, oh my God. We started doing a thing of like, serious voice means like it is important. Yeah. You know what I mean? So like when we put on serious voice, it's it's because you're in danger.

What does that sound like? It's like, honey. I'm, you know, you need to step away from that right now, you know, something. It still sounds kind of nice. Like, I was like. It's still sounds kind of. She was like, niceest word in the world. She was like, I'm sliding my seatbelt off or something.

Like, I was like, but I don't even know if she even was. I couldn't see what was happening. I go, do not do that. I'm like driving like, stop that right now. But if you use this voice, she was like, okay, mommy. Yeah. You can have 10 more tries to do the thing. Yeah.

Stop doing that. It's not good. It's not good to. I mean, so Emmy kicks the back of Kool-ups chair a lot. And we've tried just every way to get her not to do it. So it's like explaining it to her like, okay, so honey, when you kick the back of the chair, it feels like this on our chair. And mommy doesn't like to feel that.

Okay. And then the next day, of course, back to boom, boom, boom, but what's this? I'm glad you've mentioned this. And I would like to address all little kids right now. Yeah. Stop kicking the back of chairs. I don't know what you get out of it. Yeah.

But whatever it is, it's not worth it for the pain and discomfort that you're inflicting. What minor pleasures there are to be had in kicking the back of a chair. And look, honestly, I love kicking the backs of chairs. Yeah. I would do it all day. Yeah. I like to do it from a standing position. Sure.

Just kick a chair. I love it. I like kicking an old guy in the back. Yeah. Something I do. Yeah. I love kicking. Okay.

But as adults, we realize. So let's start there. First of all, I love kicking. Yeah. Just kicking anything. It's great. Anything. I can, a rug.

a table, sure. I like to kick the air. Yes. But then if I see someone in a chair, I think I could affect them. Yeah. And so I think, well,

that's even more exciting. It's a different sensation. It's so pleasurable. We love it so much. It's so pleasurable. Yes, yes, yes. It's so. I love it so much.

But kids, kids need to stop. You have to be old enough to do that. You have to know what you're doing and why you're doing it. Once you turn 18, you can kick every chair you can. Absolutely. And let me tell you something, kids, it's worth the weight. Oh, you'll love it. You're going to be glad you did it.

Oh, you're going to be in hog heaven. Yeah. But right now, you need to stop. You need to stop doing it. Yeah. You're abusing the privilege. Yeah. Which you don't even have yet.

Yeah. Anytime that the back of my chair is kicked and I turn around and it's a child, if it's an adult, I laugh and I go, feels good, doesn't it? Yeah. And, but if it's a child, they haven't earned the right to do that yet. Yeah. Well, I remember, you know, a guy, leaning back in his seat in front of me on the plane and I said hey man could you not do that

and he said how about this I'll I'll I'll do it halfway I'll do it halfway I'll do it I'll do it halfway I'll do it halfway I'll do it halfway and you can kick the chair of the whole rest of the flight I said deal deal we were both happy oh you loved it you got to kick kick kick kick kick kick kick anytime you kick I kick I kick flight attendants like if they're coming down the aisle I'll just like stick my foot out. It's not tripping, it's kicking. Yeah. So like if they fall, that's on them.

That's on them because who falls from a kick? Right. It's a trip that would make you fall. Yeah. So I'm kind of like pulling back, pulling back. That's why we say have a nice trip to you next fall. We don't say have a nice kick to you next fall. Yes.

And we don't say, hey, I just kicked you. It's autumn time right now. Right. No one would say that. Yeah, we don't say that. We don't say it. We don't. No one has ever said it, including me just then.

You could. I didn't hear you say anything And I don't think you did say anything I definitely tuned out And I agree with you Yep That's how I feel about the sole podcast I definitely tune out

And I agree with you I think that might be the title I love soul podcast But yeah It's it's the disciplining thing is like you just want to be The cool parent or whatever But then there are you know

Look there are dangerous things And then sometimes they're annoying things When it's like Yeah You know Sometimes you just have to go Don't do that or you don't get to have any fun ever again. I have talked about previously of like, you know, letting, letting Emmy yell.

You know what I mean? Yeah. And even if it's annoying to me, like having, it's more important to me to have a child who like wanders around the house yelling and playhacting and being loud and boisterous than it is for me to have a, you know, a nice sane morning. Oh, yeah. No. I pretty much don't stop anything like that. It's extremely annoying or I'm on the phone or that's what started happening lately is like when Kulap wants to talk to me about something important. And then she wants to interject yourself and go blah, blah, blah, you know, because she wants attention.

And then we have to say like put on serious voice and say, honey. Honey? That's we're talking. Yeah. And you don't talk. Not that harsh, I think. That's what you did before. Honey?

Honey. It's rude. Yeah, we're talking. And we need you to stop? That sounds too much like non-serious voice. Okay. It's more like, honey. Oh, that would be scary.

Stores. It's like when they tell you, do you're supposed to talk to a dog like with a low voice to like, no. Listen to me, you bitch. Also, I feel like when we first got Rocky, our first dog, there was some TV program like Caesar Milan or said or something who said like dogs like consonants. So always, remember, like always try to put like what a.

Good boy, or, you know. Oh, okay. Good dog. Yeah, I would just use the consonants. I feel like any... We don't know what dogs like. Stop saying the dogs like this. I know what dogs like.

I know what dogs want. But, you know, everyone's just guessing. So when instead of going out there with authority and saying like, dogs like consonants, just go like, I don't know, my dog responds to these consonants. Try this. The K sound. I think it's cool. You're using a lot of consonants right now and I like it.

I should let your kids yell and I'm cool with it. Yeah. In public too. Because some people. No, no, no. I mean, you two, your kids in your homes. But I guess what I'm cool with that. Oh, great.

I guess what I'm trying to say is like some people, some parents would look at us and say like, oh, you're not teaching them how to act in social situations or whatever. Yes. You should slap them across the face at the store. who was that that that that like person who there's some parent out there who thinks that you need to like have a million kids or whatever in a in a paper writer followed them around he just smacked his kid right in front of the paper writer the journalist and yeah sorry sorry journalist more specific and yet I don't know anyway but um specific but no I think it's I think it's like we even went I went to the I took my kid to the doctor yesterday and the doctor was saying like, by the way, when you, when, because I wasn't there for the checkup three months ago or whatever, when she came in, I couldn't believe how much she was talking. She's like at a fourth grade level. Fourth grade. Sorry, four year old. Can you imagine if you were in fourth grade and don't like her? But, but, you know, I think it's better to encourage them to be expressive.

Of course. Of course. Oh, my family's very expressive. Oh, they can't stop expressing. we love it we love it we love it we love it don't we folks it's such a blast it's such a blast and I'm so glad I'm so glad and I'm so glad I'm loving it I'm so glad for your wonderful children and thank you for sharing them with us anyway she says beep beep beep every 60 seconds okay now you're still in a beep house three beeps mm-hmm three beeps three beeps every 60 seconds what three beeps of raisins in Kellogg's raising three cups I was so... Three scoops.

The scoop is a cup. Two scoops. Let's be more specific. Let's go. I narrow it down. When I was a kid, I hated raisins so much. Why? Cool up hates reasons.

They're great. I'm fine with them now. I liked raisins as a kid. I'm actually a little less into them now, but I'll eat them. I will tell you I don't, I still don't eat them on their own. Yeah. I don't like them. No, you don't like that feeling of sticking your finger in a little raisin box and going,

Oh, no. I don't like having them in like a fruit salad with mayonnaise and stuff like that. That sounds like shit. I know. I'll have a... Go to my church. I'll have a pot look. I'll have them in a trail mix. I can eat like a raisin muffin sort of, not muffin, but...

A raisin, like a cinnamon bun with... Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can eat that. I like that. It's not my go-to, but I can eat it. We got some cinnamon raisin bread recently and just, you know, in the fridge. It was like a nice change. You got to make some toast. You know, how about this?

My toaster, which I love. It's a kind of fancy toaster. It smells like plastic now when I'm doing shit in there. And I'm thinking I'm going to have to... By the way, is it possible to... get rid of it. Is it possible to clean toasters? It's a Belmuda. So much like crumbs

down there. From the triangle? Belmuda triangle. Is there a different way to clean out toasters than unplugging them and just shaking? I sort of think there must be something in the back of it or something. Like I'm like... That's the only way, right? It's like a toaster oven. It's not a toaster. So, but I can see that it's all clean inside. But I feel like there's something happening in the wires or something. I'm a little

nervous. I remember the fear of something getting on the element when you would have a toaster oven. The element? Yes, the heating element. Yeah, the thing underneath that if you could get something on there that would then destroy it forever or permanently make things smell like that, whatever.

Wow. Yeah. Plastic was the big fear, of course. Well, yeah, I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on either. And I googled it and it's just a whole thing, you know. And so part of me is like out the door with you. But the other part of me is like I should call someone. Do you know, I'm not a big pastry person.

Yeah. But when I go to... But I don't like fruit pastries. I can fuck right off. I don't mind some of them. I don't know. Chocolate. But I...

Chocolate croissant. I'll have them at hotel. Would you like a chocolate croissant? Would you like a chocolate croissant? You'll have them, but then what happens? I only... I mostly just get them at like a hotel breakfast. They're always fucking stale.

I know. When they're bad, they suck my butt. When they're good, they rock my world. All right, we have to take a break. You have to take that. Forever. A better help ad. You might think that speaking to a therapist isn't for you.

But there's a reason why millions of people swear by it. Therapy is maintenance, like going to the gym. Plus, your FSA or HSA can help cover the cost. Now's the perfect time to give therapy a try and use your FSA funds before they expire. If something's keeping you up at night, therapy's a great way to get some unbiased feedback and a new perspective. And better help makes finding a therapist easy. Answer a few questions online and you can be matched with a licensed therapist in as little as 24 hours. Last year, over 137,000 people use their FSA or HSA funds to pay for online therapy.

you with BetterHelp and worked on their mental maintenance. Work on what's keeping you up at night. Start now at BetterHelp.com for 10% off your first month. Hello, I'm James Corden, and on my new show, This Life of Mine, I sit down each week with some of the most fascinating people on planet Earth. From Dr. Dre to Julianne Moore, to David Beckham, to Cynthia O'Revo, to Martin Scorsese, to Jeremy Renner, to Denzel, Washington, to Kim Kardashian. We talk about the people, places. possessions, music, and memories that made them who they are. These are intimate conversations full of stories that you've never heard before.

This Life of Mine premieres October 21st, wherever you get your podcasts. We're back. Chen, we're back. And guys, I have some more movies to give away. Yay! Paul's giving away movie! Oh, my God. Replace some DVDs with blue rays.

Wow. And I have some movies that if you would like them, let me know. We'll start with this. Meredith Wilson's the music man. Oh, the music man. This is just a DVD. It's just a DVD. No phrase.

I don't need it. I don't mean to be rude. I don't mean to be rude, but I don't need it. It's not rude at all. It's not rude to not need something. Okay. I want it. the line in winter

Peter O'Toole Oh we've barred We have this in our house That says Peter O'Toole right now What's that? You're wearing a hat that says Peter O'Toole Oh my God I am I forgot We have this in our house for months

Yes And I still have never seen it But you loaned it to Kulap Yes And said this was your favorite movie Or one of your favorite movies Well we somehow we got to talking about this movie And I said oh you should really see it's great

And I believe she did right Yes I believe she did Without me I would like like to see it, but that's DVD quality. This doesn't interest you at all. Unfortunately, no. Yeah.

But it is a vintage classic. It is a vintage classic. Let me look it up and see if it's in better of health. I mean, that's, we're going to put a pin in that one. There is now a Blu-ray version, which is why I'm giving this one way. Oh, I see. Then I'll just borrow that from you at some point. Okay.

It came out last year on Kuno-Lorber. What? Never mind. It came in last night of Kimonova. Came in last night at Kimono. I have the Godfather's one and two. I have four K versions of it. I don't.

Have you ever seen? I've seen both. You've seen both. I'm okay. You're okay. Yeah. Paul just made you an offer that you can't refuse. And you need to know on this.

You want to say no on that. I'm going to see the better version. Yeah. No, it's not. I have the two disc collector's edition of There Will Be Blood. Your movie? My boofy. I already own it.

You already own it? Lauren? I don't have it, but I'll take it. Yay! Are you just taking it so Paul doesn't feel bad? Are you ever going to watch it? No, I'll watch you in it. I'll show howl.

You know what? It'll be great because you can, you won't have long to wait. I drink your milkshake. Bloody son. That's not Paul who says that, by the way. You're going to be disappointed. goes, I'll drink your milkshake.

And then you just whispered it in the same. You can hear a voice in the background go, me too. I'll also drink it. Save some for me. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid on Blu-ray. On Blu-ray? That is for me going to be a take. Wow.

I would love it. Don't already have this. I don't already have this. Thank you. This is sealed. Signed, sealed, delivered. Indiana Jones. and the Raiders of the Lost Ark

Digital HD is a Blu-ray and Digital H. Has a digital HD meaning that's the same thing, isn't it? Blu-ray and Digital-Eachs. Watch this movie anywhere with Digital-HD. That needs a download. Oh, I see.

I have it. Yes. You have it? Yep. I will take it. Yeah. Whoa. That's brand spanking new.

Yeah. All right. Thank you. And then finally. The piece de resistance. This is hot off the press is 4K Ultra No, I haven't seen this. I give you first stibs on this. I want it.

Take it. Thank you. There you go. Wait, is that the Blu-ray code or is that the digital code? Sining. Sining. Sining. This is 4K ultra-H-D plus digital code.

Can I ask you, Lauren, do you use the codes? Because I'll just take the code. I don't use the code. Everybody wins. Let's open it up. Here, you figure that out. I will. Thank you, Paul.

Thank you, Uncle Paul. It's so nice of you to give us kids. Thank you, Uncle. We love you, Uncle Paul. We love you Uncle Paul. We love you Uncle Paul. We love you. Wait, what was the song from last week's episode?

I think it's this week's episode. Something like, have you ever gone? Have you ever gone down downtown? What was it? No, it wasn't that. We started off the last week with it. It was just a thing that we were almost a chance. Yeah, it was.

Have you ever gone downtown? No, man. It was something else, Scott. It's not all about your downtown. song. We can't always be seeing that. I want to sing it. Guess what it's time for, guys. What?

It's time for a buster. It's time for an unbusterero. And this is one we haven't done in quite a while. This is one we haven't done. This is a physical game of cards that was sent to us by

Santor the magician. And we thank you again, Zantor. Thank you, Zantor. We love you, Zantor. This game is called Conversation the game, the party game, where you have a conversation. By the way, you have a 4K Blu-ray player? Because this is 4K. I don't know. No.

Uh-oh. I have a PlayStation or whatever it is. That might be 4K. I think it works. I think it is. Let me tell you about the game. Just follow the one rule on your card and have the most ridiculous conversation

you've ever experienced with cards like ask only questions. Imitate another player or speak in an appropriate volume. It's easy to see why everyone's been talking about this game. Come join the conversation. It's easy to see. And so everyone's been talking about this.

What happens is everyone picks a card and then they have to do the thing that is on the card as we have a conversation. And everyone has a different thing during our one conversation. Is that what it is? Yes. Oh, yes. I remember this. Now, this is the most exciting part of the game is picking the card. Is it not?

It is. It's so exciting. Because how many of these cards are there? A lot of people are out there thinking, oh, there's probably two cards. No, there's 375 cards 375 cards There's also, now there's two types of cards The vast majority are just the sort of prompts

That give you the thing you're supposed to do Right Then there's these other cards And it's not explained anywhere on the box Of what they're called friends? Friends, history, cooking I guess that's just you could just have a conversation about these things.

No, put those to the side. I'm putting them to the side. Yeah. And Zantor, if you're listening, refresh our memories as to what those cards do. Yeah. Because you can get a hold of us somehow. I think we've kind of walled ourselves off from the public.

Yeah. We don't know how to get into the email. I think we can get into the email. Well, the voicemails are the one way that people can get a hold of us. Although we don't like we, I just looked at them for the first time in a month. Zantor, leave us a voicemail. We don't listen to the bottom of the pile. Sure.

Leave us a message. Say your name. Show us up in a transcript. Show you. Show us up in a transcript. All right. We'll just do a find Zantor. Search.

Where in the world is Zendor the magician. Okay, so this is exciting. Oh, you're handing me a card. I thought I got to pick a card. I would prefer to pick a card, Paul. I do apologize. Oh, gosh.

So many choices. I'm going to do this one. Oh. I've looked at my card and I know what my prompt. Me too. And my instructions are. I like this. Your secret instructions.

I like this. I also have my secret instructions. Mm-hmm. Okay. Okay. Here we go. Hey. I'm sorry, we met earlier, but I don't remember your name.

My name is Paul. Paul. I don't know if you noticed. I was taking your breath. I was going to speak. Okay. It sounded like you were sighing exasperatedly. I'm sorry to interrupt that you were about to speak, but I just, I wanted to refresh my memory as to your name.

I feel like you can't tell from a sharp intake of breath that someone's going to speak. Look, I hear sharp intakes of breath all day, every day. And it's usually people just having to... Who are you? I'm protesting this conversation. You're protesting. I'm kind of anti, like, whatever it is you two have going on. Okay.

I mean, the two of us, obviously, have something going on. But now it's three of us. And so I'm just kind of wondering what you add to this conversation. Why are you even here then? Well, I'm kind of anti-Uber right now. So I'm not taking an Uber even though I want to leave. I have to walk. So I'm just kind of sitting here until... How many miles would you say you walk like four, five? More like a day. How many steps are you getting in each day? Like, how many you're supposed to get 700? Or is it? Ten thousand. Ten thousand And I usually get, but I'm kind of anti-people, like, saying that, like, what you should get. Uh-huh.

How many steps do you get? Paul, was it? I bet you get, I'm just looking at you right now. I bet you get 8,000 steps a day. Like, you need to bump that up to 10,000 steps. 8,000 is not that bad. It's not that great either. But you're wrong.

How many steps do you get? Do you get 15,000? I get 10,000 and two steps every day. 10,000 and two. Have you ever thought? about just stopping right at 10,000 and then wherever you are just sitting down and going to

sleep for eight hours, nine hours. I'm not counting them as I go along like in my mind. Why not? I would do that one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, nineteen, twenty, I'm anti-interrupting, but you're not even walking right now. I'm just counting

giving him an example of how many steps I would take. It doesn't count if you just count and say that's my steps. Oh, you have to be taking the steps as you're doing the counting. So, like, watch me. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Oh, oh, you're looking like, oh, I'm coming back 50, 60, 70.

Why do I look like E.T? Because I can only see your feet and then your torso and your legs are being like kind of funny. Just because my heart is glowing. I'll see you wearing a wig and a hat. I'm anti-describing people, actually. Hmm. All right. Right. And then what happens? We just stop.

We just stop. And I think we guess. I think your thing is that you're exasperated. It's very close. You sigh all the time. I just sigh heavily. I think you're supposed to be anti-things. I have supposed to say anti-ones per turn. Right. Anti-once per turn. Oh, you're supposed to say anti-once per turn.

What's my thing? I couldn't tell. Your thing is you're pedantic. You're just talking about, you're facetious. My thing, and honestly, I did it more than instructed. It just says. It says use a number during your turn. Oh.

And I decided to constantly do it because otherwise you would never have. Very subtle. I did it so early. I did so early in the combo. Very subtly. Michael soup play. Michael soup play is well known. I mean, I don't think it was subtle.

I was counting one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. It was subtle. We didn't get it. All right. This is fun. Now, the most exciting part of the game is happening again. I'm picking a card. I now know my instructions

Lauren is picking her card This is thrilling You got it And now Paul Is stealing himself from the bottom of the deck Interesting Much like the race card Blame the OJ trial

You two beautiful women are here For the makeup tutorial You think I'm beautiful? Thank you I need a little reds Kind of like coloring on my cheeks I think We call it blush. Oh.

But it's wonderful that you didn't know. I actually think that's a beautiful thing. Is it okay if I've never done my makeup ever? You don't need a stitch of it, but... Do you really mean that? I do. And it's totally fine. You've never done it.

But I'm excited you're willing to learn. Do you have any magenta, a lip kind of, I don't know what to call it. Which colors? Like a stick made of... Yes, we do have that. That would look beautiful with your skin tone. Yeah, my skin is kind of peach. You're both two of the coolest people I've met.

Is that true? You're green with envy right now, I can tell. Yes. You're both just so perfect. Are you sure you're not just flattering us? No, and I saw you both driving separately, and you both drove really well. Yeah, I have a blue Audi that I drive. And you have a blue iny, and you're both doing really, really good.

Yeah. Do you think that it's permanent? because my baby was born 21 years ago. Yeah, I think it is permanent. But we, you know what? I think it's cute. And I think we can make it more, you can match your skin tone with some makeup.

Yeah, your skin tone, you're, to be honest, you're kind of turning green around the edges. Is that, do you have some sort of sickness? Does it look a little avocado? Because I eat a lot of avocados? Yeah, that's probably it. You're really smart. Yeah, like a cucumber green maybe.

Do you eat? Like a sea cucumber? Like a sea cucumber, like a yellowish sea cucumber, yeah. Do you think that too? I do. I think it's beautiful. I think it's perfect. By the way, I love what you're wearing right now.

Thank you. Where did you get it? I got it. It's actually from the local prison and I died it. Oh, is that like how in the warden would die all of the... Oh, yeah. Are you sheriff Joe Arpio? I'm more of a Paddington, too.

But you both, by the way, I have to say you're both hilarious. Are you sure of Joe Arpaio? Tell us right now or we're going to be red with anger. Yes, I am. I think we can stop because you have to say colors. Yeah. Every turn, sure. And you are sweetly bashful.

You. That made a great promise. Do you, are you, is it the southern part of it? No. Okay. Because that seemed to be added on your second. Everything has a question. Everything's a question.

Everything's a question. question. Okay. And then you are flattering? I compliment players. Great. I like it. One more? One more. Let's do another one. Now this is exciting. Paul has grabbed all of the

remaining cards. You can't even imagine what's happening here. He's picked them up. And there's so many here. It's hard to even fathom how many there are. I've picked my card, which has given me my instructions. Upwards. of 300 I am now completely clear on my instructions me too I understand my instructions to a T meanwhile Paul is uh I have it Paul has now grasped his card and the information contained on it and we're about to start hey um I just I really need your advice okay on something

uh-huh um do you oh you know what actually forget that I what I what I what I what I What I want to know is, did you take out the trash tonight? I did. I did. Yeah. I took it out. I took out the trash. I took out the recycling.

Yeah. Oh, that reminds me. Did you see that story in the newspaper about our neighbor? I did. I saw that. It was very fascinating because he, I've always thought he's a very nice guy, but I don't think he is after what I saw. I can't believe this is happening.

What? Well, just the conversation you did. to we haven't talked in years we haven't talked in years we've been living together for a long time and we have not been talking oh that reminds me by the way i'm so glad you're here um but um i i ate something the other day that disagreed with me and i thought you would because you're a doctor obviously you're wearing the stethoscope and the you can tell him a doctor yeah yeah and actually i don't know if you realized this you walked up and slipped a card into my hand I have these business cards and I'm just slipping them in a hand.

Oh, you know what? Business cards are so fun is the business cards that I once went up in a, it was like a giant business complex and I went around to every floor. A building. A building, yeah. And I went around to every floor and I said, do you have any cards? And I collected hundreds of business cards. Okay. And I.

And then I mounted them all in a frame. Sure. And you know what? This is boring. Can we just talk about some real stuff? This is not boring. Can we just talk about real stuff between us? I love to.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but yes. You have to change topics every second. Yes, I have to change the subject. You're incredulous in disbelief? Close, yeah. What? I have to speak in a surprise tone. Surprise tone.

And then you. are annoying you're in articulate I had to move my head while I talked so the listener didn't get that

but I was doing a lot of moving my head sometimes they're physical it's true sometimes all right well Xantor thank you again

that's a fun game that's fun Zantor that's fun Zantor as the kids say that's fun Zantor Scott did you return your cards to me no I'm not going to

no i need these are my cards now oh i'm the captain now it's a weird loophole of the game once you pick your cards they're yours forever um that was fun that was fun can uh can we talk about pop music talk about pop music no i'd love to plug maybe people didn't stick around to hear um what what what that we have new merch items for the holidays yeah we do so i i just want to talk about this and so if they didn't stick around before they're dead Definitely sticking around now. Freedom holiday cards are back. Buy them for anyone you think needs to go to hell.

That's right. These, of course, are based on Lauren's neighbor who sent Christmas cards and go to hell. Yes, they did. And you know what? I think it's great that you're monetizing this. Yes. My trauma is my income.

That's right. Yes. That is comedy. It determines my death style. My nice style. We also have. new two new shirts we have the new freedom shirt we promised we would make this for you we did we held we put our hands of our hearts and held our other hands up high and said we formally promised to make these shirts so these say on the front they say I work here so that anytime you go into a business like target or whatever people will see you and ask you questions about like oh hey what aisle do I even if this shirt doesn't look anything like the uniform of the place that you're in well we made it the friendly and and plain enough, approachable enough so that it definitely looks like that you do work

there. We also have one featuring the corporate lady, how to talk. And this was, by the way, Paul, you were right. Nathan Diffee did the artwork. Diffie? Why do you say that like I'm crazy? I've never, I don't. Defeet.

Well, first of all, I said his name earlier. And I did not pronounce it. A full hour and a half ago. I don't know. You guys, you're both gorgeous. Thank you. I've never, how am I supposed to know what syllable distress? What else are we selling?

My thing is, if there's two Fs and two E's, I think the, you would air on side of Diffy. I think Paul is, I'm not crazy for doing it that way. So you don't need to react that way. You can just go, oh, it's Diffy. Okay. I disagree. You disagree that I'm crazy. I think you are crazy.

I think you're crazy for pronouncing it that way. Look, I got to, I got to jump ship in a second, so let's wrap it up. Okay. Okay. both of these are available at kinshipgoods.com slash freedom thank you kinship goods there are great t-shirts and the great cards okay and do you guys want to plug your things i don't know what i'm doing so check out my instagram what date are we in this is november 20 oh my god yes please come see me on tour with amy man and ted leo uh starting the day after thanksgiving

Jesus Christ. Then come see me at Loddrum and Highland Park with the offbook holiday show featuring Nicole Parker as well. And then Sunday, November 21st, please check out the Varietopia Holiday Show live in person at Loddrum or streaming to the world. November 23rd, I think maybe. Sorry, December 21st, December 21st, got it. December 21st. December 21st. Yeah.

That's going to do it for us. Oh, my God, next week. Might really be doing it for Scott. We'll see you next week. Goodbye forever. Let's see who is live. Bye. Bye.

Are you team Batman or Spider-Man? Is the ultimate dish pizza or tacos? Smash Boom Best will help settle those debates and so many more. Every episode, we take two cool things, smash them together, and we see which one is best. Debaters use facts, jokes, stories, and more to argue for their side, and it's all judged by a teenager. Because who is better at judging than a teen? It's fun. It's weirdly informative.

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