Threedom - I Just Met a Girl Named Balegdah

Episode Date: July 25, 2024

Paul, Scott, and Lauren discuss that mystery cotton, foot surgery, and Scott's detailed biography before playing Portmantotallyawesome.  Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail]. Leave us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.com. Listen ad-free and unlock bi-weekly THREEMIUMS on cbbworld.com Grab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, it's me, Ricky Lake. You probably know me from my hit 90s talk show, but if I'm being totally honest, I was juggling so much and didn't have time to stop and think about what truly went into living a full and vibrant life. Well, fast forward to today, I'm 55 and a half years old and I am happier than ever.

And I'm so excited to help you find your joy on my new show, The High Life with Ricky Lake. Together we'll learn new ways to live better. Listen, The High Life with Ricky Lake. Together we'll learn new ways to live better. Listen to The High Life with Ricky Lake from Lemonada Media, out now, wherever you get your podcasts. Hey everybody. That includes me. And me.

Thanks for listening to this week's episode. If you want more of me, Paul and Lauren, and I know you do, you should join us over on Lemonada Premium on Apple Podcasts. That's what it is. Where subscribers get exclusive access to our 3mium episodes. In each 3mium episode, we take your calls and listen to your voicemails and we answer them. You can send your emails to freedomusa at gmail.com, send your voicemail to hadclaims8.com and listen to your questions.

Be answered by your pretzel gang on Lemonada Premium. Subscribe to Lemonada Premium today by clicking on our podcast logo on the Apple Podcast app and then clicking the subscribe button. Who's this guy? I don't know but I like him. Sir, sir could you please? I think he's a little crap. Hey Paul. Sorry about button! Who's this guy? I don't know, but I like him. Sir? Sir, could you please? I think he's the little crab. Hey, Paul.

Sorry about that. Who was that guy? Someone took your place for a minute. Yeah. That little crab. And we liked him better. Why do the crabs do that? There is freedom! Freedom!

Woo! Woo! Freedom! Woo! It's a fun noise, guys. Oh yeah! Freedom! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!

Nobody, it's not my birthday. It almost says happy birthday. Happy birthday dear Scott! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday.

It's your birthday tomorrow, Scott. Don't pretend it's not. It's basically your birthday. We really wish that we walked through your home and we could have a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit

of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of Happy birthday. Happy birthday. It's your birthday tomorrow, Scott. And don't pretend it's not. It's basically your birthday. We really wish that we walked through your home with whipped cream and chocolate chips. I know. I thought of it last night. I was like, we should do it. And then I didn't make a note of it. And then we didn't do it.

And then clubs, they didn't want to have whipped cream. You do have chocolate chips. Then we said, that's not going to get it, sweetie pie. Oh, so you were talking to my wife. Yes. Behind my back. We cut her down cold. After she revealed she didn't have the whipped cream. You think that's enough?

You think just chocolate chips are gonna do it for the birthday boy? Nah. I said, that'll do, Kulak. Nah, dah, dah. Stores exist. You could stop it. We only thought of it when we were here.

And you know what? You should be happy that we have thought of it. And by the way, when I say we. I should be happy you thought of me. You should thank us for thinking that. When I say we, I mean Paul, and then I said, you should be happy that we have thought of it. And by the way, when I say we. I should be happy you thought of me. You should thank us for thinking that. When I say we, I mean Paul, and then I said that's a good idea. So I can't really take that credit.

That's a good idea that we did not do. Yeah. By the way, I worry that it's getting misconstrued. It's cool whip and chocolate chip, not just whipped any whipped cream. Honestly, I'm really glad we're having this conversation. Important distinction. Because I don't know that we would have done that. Honestly, I'm really glad we're having this conversation. Important distinction. Because I don't know that we would have done that.

I absolutely would have brought ready whip, ready whip. Ready whip. I would have brought ready whip. Aw, you're so cute. Big chocolate chip. I would have bought my ready whip. Cool bib, that is a big difference.

It's true. It's a little bit of a difference, yeah. Cool bib. Cool bib. Cool bib. Cool bib. Cool bib. Cool bib.

Cool bib. Well, thank you very much. It's so meaningful to me that you thought of my birthday. That's right, on to new business. So. What are you gonna do for your birthday? Yeah, what are you gonna do, big boy? I think we're going to dinner.

The end. Do you wanna reveal your age? How does it feel to get your first social security check? I don't, I actually like, I'm of the age where I looked that up. I was like, how much money am I gonna get? Yeah. Is it 60? Well, how much money am I gonna get? Ooh, dollars hides.

Dollars is a cha-ching in my eyes. I think the later you get it, the more you can get, you know? Oh, you wait. So you- Like lottery style? Like you can get a lump sum or you can get, I just want a lump sum. No, no, no, you get it, you know, so like lottery style, you can get a lump sum or you could get some. No, you get it. You get it monthly. But if you like wait, the older you get, the more you can take a gamble.

They're like, you did a good job. They're like, I think I'll live five more years. Okay, I'll be I'll get no extra cash right now. But I'll get this when I'm older. Yeah, but it's not a bad. I mean, unless they decimated, it's not a bad little, you know, I have bad news for you. What?

How much is it? It depends on how much money you make. That's the other thing. Oh, boo. So that's why you're like, it's not bad. No, I mean, it goes up to, like we would all get the same thing, I would imagine. Whoa.

It goes up to a $2.3 million. That's not bad. It's not bad. A month. I mean, hey, you're paying for it. Yeah.? That's not bad. That's not bad. A month? A month? A month? I mean, hey, you're paying for it. Yeah. Totally needed your lifetime. Yes.

It's not bad. How much money you've made over the course of your entire life? What kind of dinner are you gonna get? I don't know. Cool, I've made a reservation, but I could look it up. It's a surprise to you. You want me to look it up?

It's not a surprise, I just have not paid attention. Oh wait, Nora's birthday was yesterday? Oh my God, happy birthday, Nora. Happy birthday to ya. You know, she doesn't even listen to our text thread, I don't think she's gonna be listening to this podcast. Yeah. Oochie!

Oochie wally wally, oochie bang bang. Snoochie, oochies. You're going to snoochie, oochies? Snoochie, oochies, yes. Did she mean coochie? What? Oh shit! Uh oh, I'm gonna to eat out since day in.

That's funky. That's funky. Welcome to 3Dim, I'm Paul. Hi, I'm Scott. I'm Lauren. I was, okay, so the other day, well, a couple weeks ago, I was walking in my neighborhood. I'm glad I broke the seal with that intro. Now Lauren feels like she's...

She can finally tell her story. Okay, finally. No, I just thought of this right now. Oh my god. I wasn't even sure I was going to... Cool! I never thought I would share this with anyone. I'm so glad I did. I'm so glad I did. I'm so glad I did. I thought I broke the seal with that intro. Now it feels like she can finally tell her story. Okay, finally. No, I just thought of this right now. I just, I wasn't even sure I was gonna.

Cool. I never thought I would share this with anyone, but here I am. Okay, Penthouse Forum. I hope that's still a thing. So in my neighborhood walk, one time I was walking with Mike and Gigi and we were, I was walking with the goals.

And we, I was noticing that on the street there was all this like, all these cotton balls kind of like spread out. Kind of like just cotton, it was like a cotton. And you realized it had just been snowing. And I said to Mike, I was like, where do we, where does all this coming from? It looked like it was dandelions,

but like a ton of them had been. Is that our neighbor, Mr. Whitney? Blown, where does all this coming from? It looked like almost dandelions, that were like a ton of them had been blown. What's that? You like? Ah ha ha. Ah ha ha. Ah ha ha. Ah ha ha.

Ah ha ha. Ah ha ha. And then Mike had a really funny joke and he pointed at a Q-tip that was on the ground and he was like, you think it's from that? And then I was like, no. Cause you know when sometimes you don't get the joke right away and you're reacting.

And I was like, so stupid. And then that was that, no, because you know what, sometimes you don't get the joke right away and you're just reacting, I'm like, so stupid. And then that was that, okay? Then I was on the walk today. That was a bonus story. Alone. So that's part one. Well, this is sort of the setup. Okay.

And I was walking down the street and I thought, that's a really fucking weird tree. This tree has spikes all over it. Like it's a light tan, it's a light brown tree with like dark brown or black, almost like Hershey Kiss style spots all over it. Like that like three dimensional. It's really weird. It sounds disgusting.

I do think it's disgusting. I don't like this. And so I was looking. It's almost got like dark nipples all over its body. Yes. Okay man. What? Come on. And I was looking. Hershey Kiss was fine.

We got it. And I was looking up. I just go, I look up. It has these sucian, like Dr. Sucian. Yeah, not Mr. His brother. That guy's a con artist. It has these balls, cotton balls. Cotton ball. You sound like you're Nadine from Twin Peaks. I don't know that one. Cotton ball. You sound like you're Nadine from Twin Peaks. I don't know that one. Cotton balls. It was so strange. This tree I've never said I've never looked up, I guess.

I've never noticed it. Wow. It has these completely spherical. You're heeding Adam McKay's advice. I did. I didn't look up completely spherical, cotton filled looking balls hanging from the tree. Completely spherical like Ernie poo the famous dog Yeah, okay, I'm getting a good picture. It's just a weird tree. I can show you a picture It was so yeah, why didn't you just show us the picture?

Instead of giving us those thousand words podcast and I wanted everyone to feel it It was here. Here's the tree Okay, I'm watching a video of a tree. Isn't it weird? Oh, okay. Oh yeah, interesting. So it's kind of like- You've never seen anything like that.

I've never seen anything like it. Well, thanks for pre-playing it for me. No, no problem. Ew! Ah! No. Gross. It looks like a baby chick or something. Ew! Ah! Ah! No! Ah! Ah! Gross!

Ah! It looks like a big baby chick or something. It's honestly so fucking weird. Speaking of someone who just recently watched Invasion of the Body Snatchers, I don't like the looks of that at all. Yeah. It does look like a Body Snatchers kind of situation.

Something's gonna pop out of there, like gremlins or something's in there. Yeah, it does. It looks like gizmo. There's not a ton of them on the tree. It's sort of like, it seems like a prank. It's really there. Yeah, it does. It looks like Gizmo. There's not a ton of them on the tree. It's sort of like, it seems like a prank. It's really weird. Ah, what a great prank.

Was Gizmo the only Mogwai? Wait, I just thought- They were all Mogwai, but then they changed. Well, they came out of him. They became gremlins. That's true. But in the second one, does he meet, is there another Mogwai?

Is he still the only one? Oh man, I watched it and I don't remember, but I assume he gets it on with like a female Mogwai? Yeah, I think he does have sex in the movie. The Mogwai? Gizmo has sex. I think Gizmo does have sex. Gremlins too, Gizmo has sex.

Gizmo is his sexual being. And they can show as much as they want because they're not real. Yeah, exactly, they're just puppets. Gizmo is really horny. And they can show as much as they want because they're not real. Yeah, exactly. They're just puppets. Gizmo is really horny. Yes. That's the thing. That's his signature thing.

Well, cause it's like, yeah, he has a list of other things about him, but this is kind of the main one, but they brought you over it because it's a kids movie. Yeah. Sure. And he's very cute. But you can tell every time you look at him, he's just like.

He's like, I want to get wet. Yeah. Don't get me wet after a good night, bitch. He's always pitching a tent on his little pants. But I feel like that if he was the only one and he was the cause of all the gremlins, they should have put him down. Yeah, he's like a rabid dog.

You know. Yeah. He's too dangerous. He is. Well, that's the thing is I actually think we may have talked about this on my other show, but. You have another show? Yeah, can you imagine? You should be on it, Lauren.

No. We should do the Gremlins TV show. I've seen it. I haven't. The cartoon? Out on Max? Anyway, but yeah, if Gizmo is the source of all this, it is too dangerous because they just keep replicating

and replicating and you just kill, it's like the alien queen. It's too impossible to follow the rules to not make gremlins. You think it's too impossible. You're like, I can't not take a flash photo of them because they're adorable. I can't. I mean, that wasn't a big thing that turns the video on.

The bright light I think is they just didn't like it. Well, still, you want to respect people's boundaries. But it's impossible to try to keep a creature from being off. No, the flash photography has nothing to do with it. He's like, ahhh! And he fell over. They just don't like it. It's just supposed to be kind of funny?

I think it's that they use it against the gremlins later on. Oh you're right. The bright light. But uh. Why are you so done? He was done with me. To do with you? You were just done. The bright light. But... Why are you so done? It was done with me.

With you? You were just done. With the show. Yeah, bye, click. I feel like the don't get them wet is extremely impossible to do forever. They need to make sure that are prevalent. Is it a drop of water?

How much water? And also don't they ever need a bath? You're not going to think they never need a bath. Maybe it just means like wet all over, like 100% of their body. I think it doesn't need to be completely wet. I don't think so either. I think a soda could spill near him and he'd mull it. That's right.

He just puts a soda down on him. I think somebody spit in his face when he's coming back from Vietnam. And that was enough. He was like, wow. What? That's what you think he sounded like. Balegda. Balegda.

Balegda. Balegda. Junkie Balegraba. Balegda. Balegda. Balegda. I just heard a thing named Balegda. Do you think the Simpsons ripped off West Side Story? Yeah, in what way?

I don't think they ripped off anything ever. What do you mean? The opening to The Simpsons sounds like Malia. I just met a family called The Simpsons. And suddenly that name will never be the same to me. The Simpsons. We changed it up where I did the harmony. Yeah, that was nice.

It was nice. Simpsons. Lauren, I wish you could sing. I can't even make it happen. The Simpsons. Simpsons is like a really, it's a just common enough name that there must be a lot of people who are forever connected

to that show because of their names. OJ Simpson? I didn't even think of that. They probably teased him mercilessly. They would never. And made him want to get rid of all of his family members. Oh, OJ Simpson like Bart Simpson? And then he was like, I'm filled with a murderous rage.

Oh, I thought you meant that the Simpsons would have teased OJ. The Simpsons would have teased OJ. The Simpsons would have teased OJ. You see, OJ? OJ, your name is the same as ours. And for that reason, I'm out. Holly Hunter on Shark Tank. And for that reason, I'm out. I love it, but it's not my type of thing.

And for that reason, I'm out. For that reason. I love your... This news has been broadcast. I'm impressed by what you've created. This news has been broadcast. I'm impressed by what you've created. I love it but for that reason I'm out.

Mainly I'm just an actress. So delighted. Academy Award nominated actress. So for this reason I'm out. I don't know why I'm here for that reason I'm out. I'm lost. For that reason I'm out. I don't have $10 billion to invest your company for that reason I'm out.

I'm lost. For that reason I'm out. I don't have $10 billion to invest your company for that reason I'm out. I don't have $10 billion to invest your company for that reason I'm out. I don't have $10 billion to invest your company for that reason I'm out. I don't have $10 billion to invest your company for that reason I'm out. I don't know why I'm here for that reason. I'm lost for that reason, I'm out. I don't have $10 billion for Mr. Company for that reason. Are there, what, have there ever been any inventions on Shark Tank that you saw and were like, I like that a lot. A million, a million, a million dude.

Every time I've seen that show, I'm like, I hate this. It's stupid. There's a lot that I hate, but there's a lot that I love. Of course, Scrub Daddy, I'm sure we've talked about, it's stupid. There's a lot that I hate, but there's a lot that I love. Of course, Scrub Daddy. I'm sure we've talked about this. Scrub Daddy. Those sponges that are smiley faces. It's the best kind of scrub.

I'm more a fan of Scrub Mommy. Well, they have one. Oh, I know. Okay, I have Scrub Mommy too. That's why I said I was a fan of it. I thought maybe you were just being silly. No, what about Scrub Children? They don't have Scrub Baby.

Why not? What is Scrub Mommy or whatever you're talking about? Scrub Daddy is a- What about scrub tween? Is a circular smiley face- Scrub otter? Scrub bear? Sponge for cleaning your dishes or your home. Those are your options. But you have to decide when you buy it.

Well you should. Because it won't clean the other things. If you say dishes, it will only clean dishes. You should probably say home because everything in your home is part of you Oh, what is the genie? Is it just the walls in the floor in the ceiling? It gets smaller If you say they also make they make rectangular versions that have smiley faces on them that are more for scrub Scrubbing why is this a good corners? Why is this a good product? It's a

scrubbing. Corners. Why is this a good product? It's a smiley face. Cause it's an amazing sponge. So I'm gonna tell you why. Why is this good? When it's cold, it's hard. When it's warm, it's soft.

It's a sponge that changes its texture. Sounds familiar. So when you're cold, you're hard. And when you're warm, you're soft. Look at this guy with his fucking foot right in your face. Come on. It's so disrespectful. Are we on a plane?

I don't even see it anymore cause I'm always so disrespected by it. He's always got his foot a couple of minutes near me. My toe hurts because I had the surgery. Is that what happened? Never you mind. I did have the surgery. Did you have your toe surgery?

I haven't told you about it. You haven't even told us. Toe. Paul knows about it. Well, because you were traveling together. FOMO City. But if it makes you feel any better, I did tune out. So it'll be like I'm hearing it for the first time.

What happened? I had my surgery on my foot. Okay, brat. I went there early in the morning. How early did you go? 545. No, really? I went early and it was on the west side.

That was the time you left or that's what time you had to be there. That's what time I had to be there. Boo. Well, I mean, that's what time I got there. I think I had to be there at 615, but I got there early and it was on the west side. That was the time you left or that's the time you had to be there? That's the time I had to be there. Boo. Well, I mean, that's what time I got there. I think I had to be there at 6.15, but I got there early. The fuck? In fact, I got there so early,

they moved me to first instead of second. Congrats. In the order, so I got to go home earlier than I thought. Wouldn't you rather be later because they're warmed up a little bit? Yeah. Yeah, they were just cleaning the crust of their eyes when they started doing it.

Yeah, they were just riffing crust of their eyes when they started doing it. They were just riffing on me. You hated that. So they draw on your foot and shit like that. Is it this one? Do we do this one? They never know. Did they do the cool S? I don't know what they are.

The Superman S? The chain link S? Do C. The Superman S is pretty cool though. They did the Nike swoosh on it. Swoop. I mean, I think you mean it's a swoosh swoop. Is it a swoop? Let's look this up. You don't remember this. No. Is that a commercial? No, it's a little shout out to Christian Brune. Oh, oh, right. Who wants a Nike swoop instead of swoosh. Oh, okay. Yes. That was funny. It was. It was on our episode of Comedy Bangers.

That's correct. It was on our episode of Comedy Bangers. Yes. The one you guys did. Yes. The one we presented. Because he played a Nike swoop in high school or something, right?

There was some play where there were a bunch of corporate mascots, logos that were like, up to life. Personified, yeah. Exactly. And he said he was a swoop. He was a Nike swoop. Doesn't sound good.

Yeah. The play. The play Doesn't sound good. Yeah. The play. The play doesn't sound good. I think it sounds intriguing. So anyway, so- Just a Coke can with arms and legs. Having opinions. I don't think it would be a can.

It would be the logo. So then you're just logos. I bet you- Because otherwise Christian would have been a shoe. But in order to personify- But you're operating under the, under the assumption that this play had some sort of guiding sense and quality. Yeah. I would go with everyone was kind of a different version of a brand.

Like, you know, mascot, one guy was a bill logo was a bill. A bill to bear. Oh, bill to bear. So I had the surgery. They cut in to my foot. They put me to sleep. Good. Oh, not in that order, I hope. Am I going to wake up? Who knows?

And I did wake up. And I lost her. You had a hand down there. That's right. Someone was jerking off your foot? Ha ha ha. So I had to be in a boot for weeks. And then I got it taken off.

When was this? You were having a baby or something. So I had to be in a boot for weeks and then I got it taken off. When was this? You were having a baby or something. UK listeners, please don't get scared. So much stuff happened to you during that time. So here's my quandary. That sounded like somebody was absolutely not paying attention, but I wanted to sum up the story to make it seem like-

And so a lot of stuff happened to you. Wow, all those things happened. Absolutely weird or crazy. Here's my quandary. More good. Weird or crazy. So I get the boot off and I'm like, now my foot's been numb the entire time it's been in the boot. Wow. And I assume.

The stranger. Yes. It also works for doing everything. So you pretend you were walking on someone else's foot. Walking on someone else's foot. So I thought. Almost. So I thought, okay, well this is because the boot is on, it's constricting my.

Sure. And then also I call, when they called to follow up, I was like, hey, my foot kind of feels numb. They're like, oh, that was the, you know, us numbing it in order to operate on. Yeah, but that would be one day max. Yeah, they said kind of feels numb. They're like, oh, that was the, you know, us numbing it in order to operate on it. Yeah, but that would be one day max. Yeah, they said it'll go away. So then I'm, but I have the boot on,

so I'm not really paying attention to it because I'm like, we'll see what happens when I get the boot off. I get the boot off, they give me a cursory, you know how they always want to hustle you out of the office? They're just like, so how's it feel? And they tapped where it had been numb,

or where it had tingled. They're like, is it tingling? I go, yeah. had been numb, or where it had tingled. They're like, is it tingling? I go, yeah. They're like, okay, it'll go away. Anyway, see you later. Wow. And then I get home and I'm like, I can't feel the top of my foot.

When I'm with you. Okay. So like everything right here is, I don't have. So it's not the foot that's on top of this desk. No, this one has to be there. That one's just being cocky. Yes, this one has to be there.

I thought for sure this had to do with the numbness. For the equilibrium of the show, I have to put my foot right near you. So the foot that's just doing its damn thing down there is the one that can't feel shit. This one just kind of has to be right where it is. Okay. So.

Please don't press the on this. I do think I need to take a picture. The people on Instagram demand it. Yeah, they do. So I started kind of freaking out because they never said this would be a side effect. So I, and by the way, my doctor then went on vacation for three weeks or so. Must be nice. So, uh.

He's exhausted from all those checkups. So I saw a different doctor in the same office and that doctor was kind of like, yeah, I mean, you just got out of surgery a couple weeks ago. I think, I think the feeling will come back, hopefully. What? And... It's kind of important. Yeah, so I was like, okay, well...

I think it'll come back, hopefully. What do you think? Yeah. Yeah, so I was like, okay, well. I think it'll come back, hopefully. What do you think? Yeah. Yeah, why are you here? And she said to rub this cream on it. She? This is the most unbelievable part of the story. Oh, Riddle indeed.

She said to rub this cream on it. Do you take Riddle indeed? Five times a day, so I was diligently rubbing, and she's like, it'll activate the nerve. So I was diligently rubbing and she's like, it'll activate the nerve. So I was diligently rubbing. We went on tour. I was constantly rubbing the cream on my foot. Thank God I didn't.

Privately, privately. On stage during the show. They said I have to do this. So I finally get back. He forbid us from mentioning it. I finally get back and I see my regular doctor and he's again like so fast, just trying to get me out of there.

This is after he's back from vacation. Yes, he's back from vacation. I'm back from T.V. He's like, I'm on island time, can we go? He's super tan, smoking. He just kind of looks at it, he's like, yeah, looking good, all right, well, very good, all right. Looking good, what about feeling good?

I'm like, okay. Billy Ray. Pluses and minuses. He's like, minuses, what? It looks great. I'm like, okay, minuses? What? It looks great. I'm like, okay, good news, bad news. Looks great. Good news, what you operated on for has been cured.

So thank you very much. All feeling gone. Uh, bad news, I can't feel the top of my foot. And he's like, oh yeah, I mean, look, that'll come back probably. The fuck. And he goes, and you know what? What is this casualness?

He goes, you know what? If it doesn't, who needs it? Are you kidding me? That kind of attitude from a doctor, what did you say? Who needs it? What did you say? I said, well, I'm slightly worried about like cutting my foot open and not knowing it or you know.

I'm like now you have a numb foot for no reason. Like who wants, who doesn't want? I mean, it's like, I feel like you want to know if your foot feels like something. Yeah, when someone steps on it or something. So, so he's like, he goes, I've done this so many times. You're not gonna be my first patient where it doesn't come back, OK, it'll come back.

This attitude. This is incredible. No apology. And he goes, and by the way, the scar, it's going to go away. OK, the scar is not your concern. Look, I've seen people's feet turn black and fall off. And I do this all day long. And it could happen to you.

It's going to happen to a bunch of you. It's if it's left, it sounds like it's happening. None Look to your right. It sounds like it's happening to you right now. None of you will have feet. One guy, his foot went flat like an old tire. Who cares? It can happen. It's because of what I do. So I was like-

This is what I do. I make bad operations. I do this. By the way, no- And then you have that. No follow-up of like, no scheduling and appointment for a follow-up. Of course not.

He's just like, it'll come back. He doesn't wanna see you again. Yeah, so I was like, hey, at what point should I be concerned? It's never going to come back. And he goes, six weeks. Come back in six weeks if you're active. Random number. Yeah.

He just goes, six weeks. By the way, eventually it's gotta get used to it. It'll be fine. By the way, I mentioned I'm putting this cream on it. He goes, well, you know what's in the cream? It's lidocaine. He goes, and what does lidocaine do? I hate when people are so rude like that. And I go, I don't know. It's numbing, baby. It's numbing. That's what, that's what he, he told me. So he

goes, yeah. So you've been numbing it every day. I said, but shh. Now that makes sense. Your colleague told me it would activate the nerve. So I would have feeling. He goes, well, yeah. I'm sorry, but he's like a real Sherlock Holmes that it took him after being rude to you to say you're putting a numbing cream on it. I don't know. Like he should have said that first? Yeah.

I don't know. So at this point- He's like, whatever, it might not come back. And you're like, well, I'm putting numbing cream on it. He's like, well, that's probably what it is. At this point, I'm expecting like, maybe a year to go by is what I should be.

How many weeks has it been since he said that? Since he said that? Yeah. One. Okay. It's been one week since he said that. It needs to be five more weeks since he says that. Yeah.

Maybe by the end of the year, if I'm like, nothing, the feeling is just not coming back. Why are you giving him such a long leeway? I don't know. I don't. It should be six weeks. You should put a reminder in your calendar. You have to take this seriously and go to Reddit. You should put a reminder in your calendar. Go to MI the asshole.

For telling my doctor my foot's numb. But I will say the good news is I can bend my foot like this. No discomfort. Oh you can do ballet again. Yes. I can finally plie, I can be in first position. That's great. Doggy style. The first position. All right, we have to take a break.

What? Did you hear that? I don't, I think I heard something. What did you hear? I heard a cha-ching cha-ching. Yeah, it sounded exactly like that. Like an onomatopoeia. Here's what I know. What's that?

That is the sound of a sale from your Shopify store. Oh, of course. That's what's happening. They have already helped millions of people sell online around the world. But Scott, you're a bit of an ignoramus. Did you know Shopify can be your point of sale system everywhere, online, in store, on social media and beyond? Well, I may be an ignoramus, but I know that Shopify is a point of sale system that makes it easy to manage payments, inventory and orders. In fact, they have everything you need, Paul. Starting a business is already hard enough. Don't you agree?

Oh, sing it sister. Shopify makes your point of sales effortless by tracking your business all in one place. Scott, can I tell you something I love? What's that? You can connect with customers in line and online too. Both types of lines. Shopify helps you drive store traffic with marketing campaign tools from TikTok, Instagram,

and more. You know, we love the sound of something that's both a powerhouse software system. Oh my God, yes. But that's only half of it. We talk about this all the time. I know, but that's only half the equation. Because the other half is it's also easy to use and seamless.

While we ourselves haven't sold anything on Shopify yet, we have a ton of friends, £2,000 worth who have and they love it. They love it as much as I despise seams. Sign up for a one dollar per month trial period at Shopify.com slash freedom. All lowercase. Don't you uppercase that? Oh, you better make it all lowercase. Go to Shopify.com slash freedom to take your retail business to the next level today.

Shopify.com slash freedom. Hey Paul. Hey, it's me and Lauren. Hey, I have a sock on the door. Oh, so what are you doing here? Excuse me. Do you need the sock? Don't be gonzy.

Okay. Hey, hey. Who is she? Just hide under the covers. Who the sock? Don't be constant. Okay. Hey, hey, just hide under the covers. Okay. Don't worry about it. Um hey, we we wanted to to ask you, does anything motivate you to cook more than having a question about my motivations? Does anything motivate you to cook more like having high quality ingredients on hand? You know what? Get ready to be surprised. Nothing does. Nothing motivates me more for that and guys, I've been cooking a ton recently because of butcher box really

Yeah, really, I never thought I'd be able to make pulled pork all on my own I could pull it probably because and you know my parents didn't think so either But with butcher boxes pork which is raised crate free by the way I was able to make these incredible sandwiches for our famous barbecue. Wow, you make your own sauce too. We were all shocked you made them by yourself. We didn't believe you. We started kicking your butt.

All my friends were shocked. I got beat up. The one thing I've heard about ButcherBox is the big draw is the convenience. Can attest. Of it. Less trips to the grocery store, more time to enjoy cooking. Plus, I also heard ButcherBox gives you curated tips and recipes based on what's in your box,

which, as far as I'm concerned, is super helpful. Well, wait, the value. We gotta talk about the value. It's incredible, okay? You get these amazing cuts of meat that are hard to find at the grocery store, and the prices are unbeatable. High quality, humanely raised meat

with no antibiotics or added hormones delivered right to your doorstep with free shipping. Paul, what more could you ask for? Paul, how do we get this? What if my parents were still alive? Yeah, sure. Sign up for ButcherBox today by going to butcherbox.com slash freedom and use code freedom at checkout and enjoy your choice of bone in chicken thighs, top sirloins or salmon in every box for an

entire year. Plus get $20 off. Again, $20 off? Yeah. Wow. Again, how do I get it? Butcherbox.com slash threedom and use code threedom. All right, get back in there, buddy. One of the biggest challenges with weight loss plans is that they're often one size

fits all, ignoring your unique needs, dietary restrictions or medical issues. That's where Noom comes in. Noom creates personalized plans tailored just for you. Whether you have specific dietary restrictions, medical conditions, or unique personal goals, Noom meets you where you are by focusing on your psychology and biology. Unlike other programs, Noom doesn't restrict what you can eat or shame you when you treat yourself. This personalized approach makes Noom more sustainable compared to other more restrictive weight loss programs. With Noom, you'll learn so much about food and your eating habits. The insights and information can transform how you think about food, helping you build healthier routines and get closer to your health goals. Plus, the app is super user-friendly. Stay focused on

what's important to you with Noom's psychology and biology based approach. Sign up for your trial today at Noom.com. That's N-O-O-M dot com. And check out Noom's first ever cookbook, The Noom Kitchen for 100 healthy and delicious recipes to promote better living. Available to buy now wherever books are sold. All right, we're back. Hi.

Scott. Yeah. Are you gonna pull whipped cream out of your notebook? We're celebrating you tomorrow, but. Are you? I don't think you're gonna see me. I didn't say with you. Privately.

You're just praying in your own home. I'm gonna pray to my shrine. The ego on this guy. The ego on this guy. I want you to spend 24 hours with me. Well, in a way I have because what I have here is an autobi, it's a book, a detailed biography of Scott Ackerman

by David Gray, the author. David Gray, this is a fake name. Not the singer? No. Babylon. Spelled differently. Scott Ackerman. Here are the, here's the tip of the story.

Okay, if people are wondering, we need context of what this is. Let me take a picture of you reading that. Now, I think what this must be, I started hearing about this, this is sold on Amazon, it's like an 80 page book. $10. $10, and what it must be is like-

Oh, excuse me, it's 91. I'm sorry. No, they make these fake books. It must be scraped, like information scraped from all of my interviews over the years, put into a book form. It's honestly very odd. Yeah.

This happened to somebody I know who we all know, who's a writer. And then Amazon released a fake version of her book. Right. Yeah, this happens. Oh wait, this person wrote a book and then they- There are a bunch of pulse here as well. Also because you wrote the Comedy Bang Bang book, then they were like, oh, wait, this person wrote a book and then they there are a bunch of pulse here as well, like also because you wrote the comedy bang bang book. Then they were like, oh, because then like people accidentally

click that and just buy it without realizing, even though the picture is insane. Oh, yeah. Like the pictures kind of fine. Your head is cut off. It's cropped in a weird way. But the picture you're going to make a low res, you like it. It's going to you're going gonna make a book and then zoom in and crop the chin off. In a jagged way. I bet Jay Leno would like it.

This came out last year. No, you wanna accentuate. No, let me read you the table of contents. Okay. In the beginning. In the beginning, oh my God. In the world of comedy. At MBAR.

Okay, wow. The three things that happened in my first 40 years. The podcast where jokes go bang! Exclamation mark. The what? The podcast where jokes go bang. That's crazy. Galifianakis' BTF. Okay.

Earwolf. B2F is what we call it. But anyway. Well, they don't know you. The Ockermans. The Ockermans! Boy, they're getting... Do they talk about Emmy in this book? I don't know. Get her name out your mouth. The Ockermans. The Ockermans. Boy, they're getting.

Do they talk about Emmy in this book? I don't know. Get her name out your mouth. And then it concludes with funny facts about Ockermans. Funny facts, okay. I think we should do turns reading this. I gotta hear some funny things. Going right to the funny facts on page 80.

The FFs. I wonder how much of this is true. I swear to God that I have not vetted this in any way. Okay. Funny facts about Ackerman, the very first funny fact in italics ago is the most amusing personality. According to the comic,

Paul F. Tompkins is the funniest comedian in the world. His standup sketch character and improv work have all contributed to his well-deserved reputation as a comedian. That's a funny fact about Scott? That's a funny fact about me, wow. Funny fact about Ockerman. Now see, this is from like interviews I would give

where they would say like, who's the funniest comedian that I would name Paul? Right, well, how about this, the most hilarious Heckel. Okay. When a heckler challenged Tompkins to out-funny him, the comedian didn't back down. Instead, he invited the heckler on stage and proceeded to recite poems from his journal.

No, this is me. The audience wasn't stitched and the heckler was left speechless. They lost track of what they were talking about. This happened to me at the, there used to be a coffee shop on- Sorry, it says my name. On Lankersham and-

David Gray did the research. No, not Lankersham. I remember talking with David Gray about this. His most amusing dream. The funny part about that story, by the way, is when it was like, you think you can do better? Come on up here.

And he started reciting diary entries that he wrote. And he goes, I wrote this on 9-11. 2006. And it was like, and we all went boo. You can't get 9-11, it's stolen valor. His most amusing dream. Ackerman has recurring nightmares in which he's sitting on the toilet

and strangers walk in on him. While it's humorous in theory, it makes his evenings really stressful. It makes his evenings really stressful. Is that true? Perhaps he should try some relaxation techniques before bed. Why are they giving you advice? Suddenly it's not funny facts.

It's a funny fact. Come on, Lauren. But hey, I honestly can't keep track of what's going on here, Okay, where's what about me? When you say recurring dreams, by the way, I have slept probably, how many nights have I slept in my life? What?

I've slept. Over a dozen. Yeah. You think it's- So like, you know, 20 dreams like that over the course of, you know. Yeah. Well, it's a recurring nightmare though.

It doesn't say so. It's not something I need relaxation techniques for. It says here that your evenings are really stressful. What the fuck, Scott? It's in black and white. Most hilarious stand up act. For Scott Ackerman, it's hard to choose just one. It contradicts the first funny fact.

However, John Mulaney's Kid Gorgeous, a Radio City special, stands out as a favorite, even though Ackerman couldn't be there. I was just far too busy, John Mulaney's Kid Gorgeous, a Radio City special, stands out as a favorite, even though Ackerman couldn't be there. I was just far too busy, John. I really hope you understand. He was blown away by Mulaney's fresh perspective, clever wording, and engaging delivery. As for the most hilarious skit, Ackerman recalls a night at a small Santa Monica bar in 1995 where he had the pleasure of seeing David Cross and Bob Wooden Kirk perform.

The duo had him simultaneously laughing and crying. With David's last line in Asshole at a Party being particularly memorable. Last line? No, it's a sketch, but all right. Last line in Asshole at a Party. Oh, okay. They do not provide the line.

It wasn't a line, it was the fact that he ate glass in his hand. In the skit, Bob's priest character Can you get a red pen and just send corrections back? In the skit, Bob's priest character is made it to David's personal slave, leading to some hilarious moments. Some, yeah. Not all, honestly.

Well, you have to build up to the laugh, so it can't all be hilarious. No, I thought it would include every hilarious moment from all of humor in it. Oh, well, yeah. This book probably does, though. It's like 10 pages long. This is really amazing. Can I see a page? Yeah, I wish you would.

Oh, there's a summary at the end. Summary, jeez. That was not listed in the disc. It's like a school project. Too long, didn't read. This is a book about Scott. TLDR. TLDR.

TL Doctor. Sweetie. Soldier. Timeline Doctor. Time Lord Doctor Who. Oh my God, TLDR is about Doctor Who. Time Lord Doctor Who. Oh my God, TLDR is about Doctor Who. Timelord Doctor Who. Wow.

And to call it a detailed biography. Can I read you the very last line of the summary? It's hardly surprising that Ackerman's become a master satirist of TV cliches and conventions. First with a series and later as a writer for award programs. Oh my God, this is so sweet actually. After all, he spent his youth playing radio DJ.

After all, anyone who does that would become that. With his experience and talent, Ackerman has proven that persistence and hard work can pay off in the end. With that experience. Wow, that's so nice. Thank you, David Gray. I'm going to go wipe my ass with this.

Hey, at least you're wiping your ass after you're in there. Oh my God, the font is huge. That's the thing, it's 91 pages with the largest font. I just got to the chapter called the Aukermans. Yeah, what's going on with the Aukermans? It's all about Coolop. Okay, so Scott met Coolop when she was a baby. And he's really.

No, no, no. I'm just looking to see if. I wanna see if David Gray has any other reading. If your child is mentioned here. Yeah, what is it? What else is David Gray done? What if he has like Lincoln biographies? He's like actually got a conspiracy against JFK, a detailed assassination.

This is so weird. Does this make you feel weird? It's weird. I wonder if you have one. Go look, go look, Paul. I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking. I'm if you have one. Uh, go looks. Let's go look, Paul. I'm looking. I'm looking.

Oh, my name is in here. Nice. Congrats. What? Feels good, doesn't it? I'm so glad I'm in here. Oh no, it's only got one star. My book?

No. The show now boasts an impressive lineup of guest stars and regulars, including Aukerman regulars Lauren Lapkus, Neil Kimball, Mike Hanford, James Adomi, and Nick Kroll, Andy Daly, and the late Harris Whittles. The AV Club named it one of the best podcasts of 2010, while Entertainment Weekly described it as often strange, consistently hilarious, and always unpredictable. Wow, that's so nice.

Cool. This is so cool. I really should give this to Emerald to explain who I am. Oh yeah, leave this in your, what do you call that, time capsule. This seems to be David Gray's only book. What? I don't think he wrote mine. He's so talented.

Wait, wait, wait. Sorry, I'm so sorry. He also wrote a detailed biography about the iconic. Also wrote a detailed biography. Okay, Biden, I don't think he wrote mine. I don't think David Gray is an author. When you say wrote mine, you know you have a book? No, but I'm saying don't search it by David Gray books, search Lauren Lapkus. I know I've searched Lauren Lapkus

and all there are a bunch of fucking movies. Here are journals. Sorry, I wasn't listening. I was thinking about Lauren Lapkus. You have a journal that says that. There's four versions. That's really weird. One that says, just kidding. The inside says all of David Gray's books have the signature yellow

cover. Well, that's Dick Francis has the same kind of like drawing. Very true. It's very true. Is he a horse? I can't tell. Tom Stoltman, a detailed biography of a strong man's journey. Listen to Williams. Gunther Steiner. I don't know who that is. But yeah, he's out there, man. He's truly he's out there just compiling information.

He's not prolific, but he is on his way. Look, we should we should write a one about him. See if he likes. Oh, my God. You know what? It's not about your head is. Yeah, this is like likes it. Oh my God, you know what? That's not a bad idea. Your head is, yeah, this is like pixelated. Your neck is like cropped off. You're like, that's a good picture.

I mean, I'm just saying the picture is- It could be worse. It's not like my eyes are closed or anything, you're just saying the cropping on the picture is bad. Well, it's insane to publish a book and have this be the choice. Not the picture, the picture's fine. The way the picture was used.

Thank you, Lauren. You're welcome. It's a great photo. There's nothing for me in books. There's nothing for me in books. I've never read one. Me neither. Where?

Guys, a plumber is coming tomorrow and that's how I'm celebrating my birthday. Oh, did you stuff your toilet full of shit again? Pfft. It's been clogged since the last time you were here, Lauren. Oh. I don't know if it's a coincidence. I put my hair down there.

Why did you do that? To Kazarakis. You're an agent of Shouse. I am an agent of Shouse. We, this last weekend, so we're members of the LA Zoo. So are we. There you go. I'm not. Meaning I sleep in the cages at night.

Okay, he's a monkey. Whenever you have a kid, you pretty much become a member of the zoo because you'll be going there more than once and that then equals the cost of two tickets. I mean, it's like, the deal is amazing. And they love it. All they have to do is just get, you know, through that barrage of protesters and then I heard there were and then you're inside. You're just talking to someone. And what are they protesting? Animal abuse or are they protesting? I think so. Yeah. Are they a lot of stuff? Sure. There's a lot to say. But this was I got an email a few weeks ago that was about a members event. Is it like this? Free jackets. And-

Free jackets. Members only. Members only. It was a members only event where you can go to the zoo starting at 8.30, normally it opens at 10. So this was a- So this is big news because like from 8.30 to 10, my daughter is like, zoo, zoo, zoo, zoo, zoo,

wanna go to the zoo, wanna go to the zoo. And you're like, honey, it's not open until 10. She doesn't know the concept of 10. No. And the 10 is a lot hotter than 830. So I'm like, great. This is going to be awesome. And also the the animals are not in their cages before. Yeah, they're just roaming. Yeah, they're nice.

Then they have to go in their cage and do their show. You can pet all of them. Yeah, they do their show. But it was they said limited number of tickets. I was like, oh, special. I texted Mike. I was like, oh, special. I texted Mike. I was like, oh, special. You texted Mike and said talking to us. I was like, we should do this. And he across the room nodded and

nodded solemnly. We have the tickets. It was all family outing. It's kind of a big deal when the four of us actually leave the house together. So we were excited. And then we get to the zoo. We were like, let's get there. They're we got there to 49. I would say very impressive considering all the then we get to the zoo. We were like, let's get there at 30. We got there at 49.

I would say very impressive considering all the things we had to do to get out of the house. Sure. We should have started earlier. You could have left probably 19 minutes earlier. Yeah. We pulled up and there was a line wrapping through the fucking parking lot.

Holy shit, Taylor Swift is in the zoo? Normally there's no line to get in and it was already open. What about in the member entrance? That was all members. There's nobody else who's allowed in because it wasn't even 10 o'clock yet. So no one's there who's not a member.

So what's the point if it's- It was a con job, sweetie. We were so pissed. It was a confidence game? There were no animals in there. We were so mad. We've never had a zoo in Los Angeles. We pulled up, we were like,

we can't fucking wait in line and go to the zoo. It's not how this works. But now you're trapped because you got the kids. We can't say no. Exactly. So how long did it take to get in? It was closed, we were like, no. How long did it take? Well, we took a bet of how long it would take.

How long? Mike thought it was gonna take closer to an hour. It was a very long line. An hour? Why even bother? Well, we just thought, let's just get in line and see what hour. It was a very long hour. An hour, why even bother? Well, we just thought, let's just get in line and see what happens. It was a very long line. And I said 25 minutes, maybe I said 30 minutes,

but it was 20 minutes by the time we got in. That's so kind of long with kids. It is long with kids. And then there was this really great moment. This little kid ran by, he had the messiest hair in the world. He looked absolutely nuts. Like young Einstein or something?

Or old Einstein? And his mom was like, he was racing through. Oppenheimer starring young Einstein, all grown up. He was racing through. He's like, I need to find it. And his mom was like, kind of casually strolling behind. Then he said, I need to find it. What is brush? And Mike goes, what did he lose? And she said, a leaf. I was like, we can write a whole show around that line. That's a great line. A leaf. A leaf. Can you imagine?

It was great. And she was walking so casually. She like did not, and that kid kept zipping all over the place. And she was like. I need to find it. My life is ruined without this leaf. It was so good.

Wow. But then we went to the zoo. It was so good. Wow. But then we went to the zoo. It was not blazing hot. By the time we left, it was. We saw a handful of things. You know, the zoo though, it does bother me when the animals aren't all out. Yeah, it's like, come on guys.

I'm sure they're busy, but I'm like- Paying customers here. We never ever get to- I'm sure they're busy. We never ever get to see the tiger. I'm sorry, that animal is doing errands. That rhino is doing his taxes. That one's always empty.

And then you know what the scariest thing was? Take a guess. They had a Boba Duke in there. No, but that would be good. The prices of the hamburgers. Yep. And you know what they're made of? Rhino meat.

No, the parrot. There was this parrot that was beautiful rainbow, you know, what? All the colors of the rainbow. You got Roy G. Biff. It's not a parrot, it was huge, it was huge. Yes. And it was making this noise that was like a monkey being attacked.

It was so scary. Oh, great. So it was mimicking a monkey that was attacked the night before. Oh my God, you're probably right, that was mimicking though. Someone's killing me! Ooh, ooh, ooh, ah, ah! It was like,

Roar! It was mimicking though. Someone's killing me. Ooh your fucking face. This is a typical child behavior. They're scared, but then once they know what it is, they're like, I wasn't scared. I didn't feel anything. I can do it again. Not only was I not scared, you were terrified. Yeah. I was cool and you were pissing your pants, mom.

All right, we have to take a break. Hey, hey, hey, huddle up guys, come here. Hey! Come on, team up guys, come here. Hey! Come on team, let's be real, who has the time or money to eat at restaurants all the time? Me? Well that's right, you're an eccentric millionaire, I forgot. If you've got a refined taste for food, you know how expensive exploring your local food

scene can get. Plus it's hard to find the time and energy to try somewhere new. Well you know what, I actually heard about something that takes care of all get. Plus, it's hard to find the time and energy to try somewhere new. Well, you know what? I actually heard about something that takes care of all this. What is it? Okay, Cook Unity? Oh yeah, it's the first chef to use service that delivers locally sourced meals

from award winning chefs right to your door every week. And guess what? Let me take a guess. Okay. It's cheaper than other delivery options out there. Yeah. Yeah, I guessed it. I guessed it. Can I tell you something real about this? Yeah. It's cheaper than other delivery options out there. Yeah Can I tell you something real about this yeah, if you're not running to check this site out already you need to go to

cook unity comm slash freedom or Enter code freedom before check out for 50% off your first week So we we start advertising with cook unity and we liked it so much that now we pay for it He's upset. They said they sent us free meals. That's why he's off. They sent us free meals And now we just pay for it at the paper Wow You know, what's good about me type of my experience? Okay, I was I was blown away. Does no one hear about my experience? Why do you talk about what you experienced? Well, I what I like it is like the portion,

anytime you order food from a restaurant, you get gigantic portions and then you just eat the gigantic portions. This is like good portions that make you full at the end, but it's not crazy. So you're not like gaining weight all the time. You're sated. You're not gorging yourself. Exactly. It's really good stuff. I like it a lot. I personally was blown away by the taste and quality of the spicy shrimp pasta. Yeah. Yeah, that was a good one. It was perfectly seasoned and the shrimp was perfect.

We had some blueberry pancakes delivered. Yeah. Wow. So it's all made in advance. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You don't cook it. It's depending on your microwave. You might heat it up. You heat it up. It's depending on your microwave. It's like two or three minutes. I do three because I have a less powerful microwave. That's a little glimpse into my life. Yeah. But yeah, it's really two or three minutes. I do three because I have a less powerful microwave. That's a little glimpse into my life.

Yeah. But yeah, it's really good. Your microwave is 10 watts. The health of your house feels good. Yeah. Supporting local chefs and suppliers, knowing that my meals are made by talented chefs in local microkitchens, not large production facilities makes a huge difference to me. So experience, experience chef quality meals every week delivered right to your door.

Go to cookunity.com slash threedom or enter code threedom before checkout for 50% off your first week. That's 50% off your first week by using code threedom or going to cookunity.com slash threedom. Thank you, Cook Unity. You've surely unified the cook. This show is sponsored by better help. Let's take a moment to talk about something we all face from

time to time. Comparing ourselves to others. With social media, it is so easy to look at someone else's life and think, wow, they've got it all figured out. But let's be real. That's often just the highlight reel. Therapy can be a fantastic tool to help you focus on what you truly want rather than what you think you should want based on someone else's life. It's about discovering your own path and starting to live your best life. Now I love therapy.

I recommend it to everyone, especially when it comes to setting healthy boundaries and re-centering yourself. I think everyone should have a support person that they can talk that stuff out with. If you've been thinking about starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. BetterHelp is entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. You just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. Stop comparing and start focusing with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash freedom today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash freedom.

And guess what? We're back. Very quickly. You didn't give me a chance to guess. It's my joke. Yeah, it was like, you just kept saying. What's your joke? I've done that so many times. No. No. Here's what's crazy. I started it. I finished it. Yeah,

now no one will ever do it again. Okay. It's um, uh, the first time I went to the, first time I came to California, my uh, California. California. The first time I came to California, my California. The first time I came to California, my sister, my sister took me to San Diego to the zoo there. And I remember. They got a great one down there. And it's a vast, vast zoo. It's amazing. And I remember being at the entrance

and you could hear these fucking, there was a specific type of monkey. They were so loud and they were so far from the entrance, but it was, it was Jurassic Parky. It was, yeah, there's one at the zoo, but I didn't see this time, but that made the scariest sound. It sounds like it's going to either kill you or get killed or it's just doing something really scary.

You know, the scariest sound I ever heard an ape make was when this one time, this one went, no. And I was I was like oh shit that's human speech that happened yeah to this monkey named Caesar yeah I know you were I remember this monkey named you really in the background wait what I was just in the background yeah I did that happen your name was like scientist number two yes I was the second what am I not getting this is that? What are you talking? I was the second scientist. What am I not getting? This is from Planet of the Apes, dear. I didn't get it.

I thought it was real. I thought it was real. I was scared. I thought it was real. I thought it was real. Look, it's creature time and that's real. Okay. It's creature time.

We do this every episode. That's as real as anything you'll ever hear today. Oh my God. If you believe one thing in your life, believe that it's time for a creature. Okay. Take that up to the pearly gates say I don't believe in any of this go all the way up there first kill yourself then so a three-chair is a game that we'd like to play we also call these busters. So what we do is we play, we play a game that's a game you play in the car, a parlor game.

And if you'd like to send us one to play deer, you can write to us at freedom USA gmail.com and suggest a game for us to play. And then you'll join our busters club. Now, so many great busters over the years. Oh my God. This is our fifth season, sixth season. Thomas. Oh. Lily.

Yeah. Petra. Gorf. Gorf. Gorf. Gorf on Dolph. Gorf on Dolph. Two minutes later.

Um. And so this is one we haven't played in quite a while. It's called Portman Totally Awesome. Portman Totally Awesome. The idea is you start with a word, then the next player adds. By the way. That's, to start with a word?

Well, cause it could be anything. I mean, there's so many words. There's so many words, like go check out the OED if you think I'm lying. There's so many words. There's 350 words. And if we, the goal with this game is to use all. There's so many words. There's 350 words and if we, the goal with this game is to use all 350 words in the English language.

Yeah. We may not get there. There's almost one for every day of the year. Imagine making the first dictionary. You had to think of every word. Every word, like you had to, like you're having a conversation and you're like, oh my God.

Oh shit, I forgot that one. I don't have conversation in there. Yeah. There's a, There's a, There's a, I forgot that one. I don't have conversation in there. Yeah There's a funny episode of black adder where a guy the guy who's Samuel Johnson I guess who's making the dictionary Is going around constantly writing down words. Oh, that's fun. Really? Yeah This is my inventive idea that I just came up with that. I thought was so great. You stole it from black adder What is that black adder? Well, You stole it from Black Adder. What is that? Black Adder. You should watch Black Adder, dear.

I haven't seen it, but you should. All right. It was it. I have the DVDs. I just never cracked them open. Yeah, I might. Or maybe I got rid of them. I'll Google it later. I think I started watching the first one once and was like, he fell asleep. Also known as a buster.

So poor mental, the awesome we start with a word, then the next player will add a word that begins with the sound of the end of the last word. And then you build and build and build. Or the entirety of the last word. Or the entirety if you're so lucky. Sure. One should be so lucky.

It's not gonna happen for you guys. So now we're going to do that. All right. And then after we've done it, you'll know what it is. So we continue on until there's just. You keep saying the word from the beginning. Yeah. And can you add on before?

No. You have to do it from the end. I think you can. I guess you could. Are you against that for some reason? Kind of. Why? You're interesting to me. You know who I'm so glad is back?

Jiminy fucking Blake. So if it was like percent, you could say lepersent. What's leper? Oh. Lepersent is my fragrance. Sure, you can put it on the beginning. It smells like sores. Sure, you can put it on the beginning. Sure, you can put it on the beginning. Sure. You can do it. You could put it on the source. Sure. You can put it on the beginning. Sure. You can put it on the beginning. Sure. You can put it on the beginning.

You can put it on the beginning. We can all put it on the beginning. That was a great example because I think she was against the idea. And I think you sold it. I think I convinced her. Yeah. Yeah. I understand. I didn't even need the example. I understood what it was. OK, let's start.

Okay, you want to begin. Percent. Why don't you start, honey. Dear. And we'll go clockwise, if that's okay with you. It's fine with me. It's a nice watch you got there, buddy. Thank you.

Someone's gonna jack that shit off. I'm not. You're gonna jerk your hand. I'm not a big watch guy, but I really like the face of this watch. And also I bought it off eBay and did not realize how big it was. I like it. All right. That's the power.

That's the power of persuasion. OK, she's trying to think of a word. She's trying to think of one word. God damn, what an idiot. She'd see the steam coming off. She's been saying words all day. Can't remember a single one. Her face is red. Leopard.

She has clenched fists. Leopardswasion. Okay, what word starts with a Jun? Leopardswasion underwater. Oh. Lepersway-sunderwater. Oh. Lepersway-sunderwater boarding. Lepersway-sunderwater boarding pass. Lep persuasion der water boarding pass. Good.

Lep persuasion der water boarding pass hole. Let her sway under water boarding pass hole in one. Let her sway. Now it can be a phrase. Let her sway under water boarding pass hole in one. Wonderful. That's nice. Leprosuage underwater boarding pass, holding wonderful. Well, that's nice. It is nice. Leprosuage underwater boarding pass,

holding wonderful. in wonder, fulsome. Fulsome? Fulsome. Fulsome. Couldn't tell you what it means. Le persuasion de waterboarding pass whole and wonder fulsome. Fulsome. Fulsome. Fulsome. Fulsome like a hat. Stop! Let me say this. Let me say this. The phrases make it harder. Okay, fine. Le-pe-sum, whatever. Fulsome.

Someone. Okay, fulsome is by the way, complimentary or flattering to an excessive degree. Noice! She's got fulsome tits. Oh, like her- his praise was fulsome. Yes. Yes. Her tits were fulsome.

Yes. Great tits. His praise was fulsome. Um... Let persuasion underwater boarding pass hole in wonderful some wonderful... He did it again? He did wonderful again. wonderful, some wonderful. It did wonderful. Again, someone, one singular sensation, every little step.

See, I can dance like this again. Can you feel your foot? Yeah. I can. It's in the bottom. Okay. Got it. Leper suede underwater boarding pass hole

in wonderful someoneion. Oh, nice. Thank you. Leper suede underwater boarding pass hole Nice. Leper suasion under water boarding. Pass. I just do the whole thing. Leper suasion under water boarding pass hole in

wonder fulsome one. young. I. Let persuasion under waterboarding pass whole in one Pass hole in wonderful some one yun. What'd you, dur. Dur. Ground. Okay.

Leopard swze underwater boarding pass-hole in wonderful someone yonder ground beef. What? You're shaking your head is what's going on. There's a way to make it easier for the next person to keep it going. Beef is easy. You've had a lot of problems with beef is easy. Beef is easy. You've had problems with what I've done. You've had problems with what he's done. Yeah, you guys. You're not the Hitler of games.

I wish I was. You'll see. Which one of the Hitler of games. I wish I was. You'll see. Which one of the Hitler of games? What did he say? That was the day he decided. To become the Hitler of games. Leper suede underwater board dead boarding. Pass hole in wonder full some onion. Der ground beef.

Beef. This is good. You got it. You got it champ. I know what it is. You got it. Got it. BEEF. BEEF. BEEF. BEEF.

BEEF. Ground beefy. Yeah. Beefy? Okay, fine. Beefy? Oh no. But you didn't leave anything for me.

I'm about to lay the smack down. Let persuasion underwater boarding pass hole in wonderful someone yonder ground be feeder. So eater. Let persuasion underwater boarding pass hole in wonderful some one yonder ground be feeder mine. Ermin. What's that? Ermin, it's a little animal that's made into a fancy coat. Okay. That's its into a fancy coat. Okay.

That's its sole purpose on earth. Um, let her suede, let her suede under ground. No. What? Water. Water. Under water, boarding boarding pass hole. He remembers the ones he said.

Yeah, I know. He really lit up when he said pass. I didn't say that. I mean, I mean, I mean, let me get my roast straight. What if every roast was like that? I mean, I mean, I mean, let me get my roast straight. Hold on, hold on. You're not taking this, are you? Boarding pass, hole in, wonderful,

some onion, der, ground, beef eater, min. Mm, mint. Mint? Mint! Uh, mint. Mint? Mint! No, honestly, the things you've insulted us for, you're doing. How do you like it? It feels bad.

Yeah. To be insulted. Leopard swayed under water, boarding pass, hole in wonder, fall, someone, yun, der, ground One. Ground be feeder. Man. You go anywhere. Temple. There you go. Do as fast as you can.

Okay. Okay, but now you do it as fast as you can. Leper, swage, leper, swage. Stroke. Yeah, cause he was telling us what to say the whole time Okay, but now you do it as fast as you can. Leopardswayge... Leopardswayge... Stroke. Yeah, because he was telling us what to say the whole time when it comes to him. Leopardswayge... Leopardswayge...

Leopardswayge... Leopard blue persuasion. Leopardswayge underwater... B-b-boarding pass-hole in one yun-der-ful, some one yun-der-ful. Some one yun-der-ful, some one yun-der-ful, some one yun-der-ful, some one yun-der-ful, some yun-der-ful, some yun-der-ful, some yun-der-ful, some yun-der-ful, some yun-der-ful, some yun-der-ful. Templeese! You added onion twice. I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful, I'm a wonderful Brandon. Temple of doom, comma Indiana Jones and lepers way John dir water board ding pass hole in one

dir full some onion. No, no, no. Okay, sure, yeah. You mother fucker. Yeah, yeah, but go ahead. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Actually, it's okay.

But go, but go. But go. It's like I'm standing on a ledge, but it actually wasn't a ledge. It was fine. Yeah, you're just on the sidewalk. You did great, sweetie. Leperswayzian, underwater boarding pass,

hole in wonderfuls. No, no, no, that's where you added the one-yen. Oh, wonderful, okay. Wonderful some. Monyan. Monyan, one. No, no, no. That's where you added the one yen. Oh, wonderful. OK, wonderful. Full some money and one yen. Yeah. One onion. Der ground B. Underground B. Feederman.

Temple. Temple. Easy. Easy. You asshole. Hey, I play. I'm in temple easy. You asshole. Hey, that's how I play. I play like you guys. You can start any, it's actually, you can start so many things with the sound E. I know, it's great.

E. I got it. Le Persuasion underwater boarding pass hole PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE.

PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. and temple easy does it. Pfft. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha What did I do? Let persuasion underwater boarding pass hole in one yonder. One yonder. Full some one.

Der. Ground beefy. Ter Min Min T. Minty Mint Mint Mint. Temple easy does it cream. It's a cream. No, you need some of those. You need some of those. It breaks it up and keeps it fresh. Hey, it's simple.

Here's the deal. Here, I remember this whole thing. Folks, folks, folks, this is America. Leopard, suede, gender, water, boarding. Any pauses are like the impression, it's not you. Exactly. Yeah. Water, boarding, pass, hole in. Keep going, what's the impression? I can't. I like to. It's one or the other. Waterboarding pass hole in one.

Keep going, what's the impression? I can't. I liked it. It's one or the other. Okay. Hole in wonder ground beef eater mint tea sample. Lazy does it cream pie. Interesting.

Thank you. Leopard swaves underwater boarding pass hole in wonderful some wonder ground be feet term and ample. some wonder ground be feet term and please he does it cream pie. Pious. Pious. Pious. Pious. Pious.

Oh, pious, pious, pious, pious. Uh, uh, let persuasion underwater boarding pass hole in wonder. No one yen or wonder wonder one yen. One wonder wonderful One der. Full. Full some one yun. No. What? Full some one yun. Yes. Full some one yun.

Sorry. Yun. Shen yun. Der. I'm lost. We're free. We're free. That is how we get free.

Yikes. Thank God. Yikes. That was really a lot. That was tough, man. That's tough. That was tough. I guess that's why we have it. So worth it. And I feel like it brought us closer together as friends. Yeah. I feel the opposite. It wasn't worth it and it brought us further apart. I don't want to see any of you ever again. Good news. We're at the end of the episode. Oh, that's true. Look, you can write to us at threemusahgmail.com.

If you'd like to call us, leave a voicemail for our threemium episodes that we do every other week. Give us a conversational prompt, and then we do a little mini episode for you. You can go to the website, hagclaims8.com, and become one of our claimers. Yeah, and if you want to hear those three meme episodes, they're every other week on Wednesdays,

and you can hear them either at CBB World or you can subscribe to Lemonada on Apple Premium or something. And look, we're excited to say we got some great merch going on over at Kinship Goods. The merch is so good. Go to kinshipgoods.com. Or cbbworld.com slash merch. Or cbbworld.com slash merch. Kinshipgoods.com Or cbbworld.com slash merch Or cbbworld.com slash merch

kinshipgoods.com slash cbbw we'll get you there Fuck That's the easiest, probably cbbworld.com slash merch But do we know that that link is up? Yes! kinshipgoods.com seems very easy to me But then you gotta sort through all the stuff they do

Do you get a little percentage if they go to the website? Really? No, I'm asking you. No. Why do you fucking? Just because it's easier to remember. Because then he can get his other merch. CBBworld.com slash merch. It is easier than-

It does work. I just tested it. And then you get there, you don't have to sort through anything, it goes right to the three of them. Right to the three of them stuff, yeah. Really? Yeah. Really?

No other merch on CBBworld.com? There's a merch? You gotta click on the three of them stuff. There is other merch. But if you go to kinship.com. Slash CBBW, it's right there. That's hard to remember. It's hard to remember.

It's hard. CBB what? You need to, you need to, CBD. You know what we should do. He said who, he said what? You know what we should do is put it in our bio. Yes, put it in your bio, honey. Let's do a little link tree in the Freedom Instagram.

If you'd like to follow us on social media, go to Instagram and go to Freedom USA. Yeah, and then if you want to hear ad-free episodes, go to cbbworld.com. And is there anything else that we do? Oh yeah, three Visiting on the Twos. That's if you're listening to the ad-supported version. Every Tuesday we put out an old episode.

Yeah, a stinky old episode. Stinky, gross, old episode. Some crusty old episode no one likes. Nasty. It's nasty. These are the episodes voted worst in the series. Yeah, we hate them. And we want you to listen to them.

Yeah, please listen. That's it. That's it. What do we think? We love you guys. Thank you for listening to us. TTYL. We have fun doing the show, We love you guys. Thank you for listening to us. TTYL.

We have fun doing the show and we love knowing that you have fun listening to us. Time Lord Doctor Who. Yep. Bye. Bye. What do weddings, Instagram, and toxic relationships all have in common? They take your money and you can't get it back. 16 grand, somewhere in there. Gone.

There's no legal solution for the fact that you married an asshole. Welcome to The Dough. I'm ex-Mayo. We're diving into the stories surrounding the moola baby. The good, the bad, and the unexpected. Yeah, we talking about it all. The Dough is out now wherever you get your podcast. Hi, I'm June Diane Raphael.

And I'm Jessica St. Clair. And we would like to invite you on a hilarious and heartfelt journey each week on The Deep Dive. From navigating the chaos of motherhood and family to exploring the depths of grief and loss, we are just two best friends who process life together and with you guys. Discover our secrets to finding joy amidst the madness and get ready for unfiltered conversations about life, love, and everything in between. And nails, we talk a lot about nails. Now, community is everything to us at The Deep Dive.

We believe in the power of connection and the strength that comes from supporting one another, and we would love to have you with us. So be sure to join us every Wednesday on The Deep Dive from Lemonade Media, wherever you get your podcasts.