Threedom - I’m Just Trick or Treating for My Son

Episode Date: November 6, 2025

Lauren, Scott, and Paul discuss  grifters, roasts, and Halloween before deep diving into comic strips.  Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Unlock every episode of THREEDOM and THREEMIUM, ad-free, on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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and a bottle of vitamin D3 plus K2. When you first subscribe, that's drinkag1.com slash freedom. It's morning in New York. Oh, God. Hey, everybody. I'm Mandy Patinkin. And I'm Catherine, Brody. And we have a new podcast. It's called Don't Listen to Us. Many of you've asked for our advice. Tell me, what is wrong with you people? Don't listen to us. Our Take It or Leave It Advice

show is out every Wednesday, premiering October 15th, a Lemonada Media Original. Freedom! Freedom! Um, yeah. Yeah, man. Yeah, bro. To be honest, I didn't fully yell. No, what's going, yeah, what's going on, Lauren?

That was like, like you were falling off a cliff. Yeah. Trita. Can you imagine if you fell off a cliff and that's what you yelled? I hope. That's what happens to me. That would be. the saddest last word.

I don't want to yell that. I mean, I love you guys. I don't want that to be my last words. I fall off a cliff. I don't want that at all. Even if I don't fall off a cliff, I want to bring my loved ones close and say, I have one last thing to say.

Freedom. Yeah. Well, that's funny. I mean, that would be really funny if you were like on your deathbed. Yeah. Freedom, child. And then we'd be like,

why did he want to say that right at the end? I'm imagining I'm talking to my great grandchildren. Which, of course, I'm never going to get to see. Damn. Jesus. All great grandchildren? How would I ever go? I doubt I'll ever get to see grandchildren.

Hey. What? I mean, Emmy could turn out wrong and she could have a child at 14. And that would be wrong to you? Yeah. It would be incorrect. You went really low with it. Because I think Skyo probably live longer than that.

One thing to have to see great grandchildren, because. then the Emmy's daughter would also have to be... Do you just really think I'm going to live 28 more years? Yeah. I hope so. That's not crazy. It's not crazy.

What are you 50? It's not likely, but it's not crazy. What are you? That would double my age. What? Do you ever think about how long? Do you feel like you have a sense of how long you're going to live? My grandparents...

always like they were all in their 90s when they passed away so i've always kind of felt like oh that might be what's going down for me but i i don't really know similar over here um but i do think what do you think paul because i mean i i think we've talked about dying a lot on this show and we're going to talk about it more we're not done talking about it yet no what do you i tell you when we're done talking about dying when we die damn hopefully the last episode So just in case one of us dies, unplanned. Can we not this is a knock on wood? Yeah, Paul, any sense?

Well, my... Any sense? What are you getting? What do you think of? My family, I'm seeing a J. Is there a J? July. You're going to die in July.

My family's not super long-lived. My oldest grandparents, my grandmothers made it to their 80s. nice I see myself being an old man though I see that for you I see myself I see that for you can I say I just was organizing something nothing okay since we were a little delayed starting I had a little time to organize in this room that I'm in and I found this paper that was from when I when I had a reading with a what was her title energy healer or like something spiritual snake oil sales Well, and it was recommended by a friend. And, you know, every once in a while I'll enjoy a little woo-woo activity.

You know, the older I get, the less I want to do that at all. But anyway, I did that. So the paper was from about, I think, 2021 or 2022. And I had jotted down my notes of all the things she said for my future. And I will just tell you that none of it was true. Wow. And so it's kind of fun to see that and go like, well, that was bullshit. I think...

That is fun. I think... Cool up. It's fun to imagine that person doing it to so many other people. I mean... Who really believe in it. I know. Kulap made me go...

The question is, how often do you check back to kind of check the tabs on that? A lot of times it's just to like to give you encouragement of like, hey, everything's going to be all right or whatever. No, and I think there's value in that. And I think there was some stuff she said that I was like, that kind of made me feel peaceful at the time or, you know, at ease. Coolap made me go... Everything's not going to be all right. Kulap made me go one time and and conversely, everything turned out to, to occur. Oh.

Because she was like, I'm going to validate your parking. You're going to get in your car and go home. Unless you're all happening. Then you're going to go to lunch. But it still never made me want to go back. But it was kind of interesting to see. No, some people are really good. The opposite where it's like, oh, wow, everything actually came to pass.

Some people are very talented at that. I don't know where this woman is to this day. And also, you know what? I will say it was on Zoom, which I just think you're not really getting my energy through Zoom. Yeah. No. You know, it's just, it's not. They should make a setting on Zoom for energy.

Yeah. There was a whole plot line on just like that where she's just like energy healer on Zoom. And she's getting wallpaper installed and everyone's being loud. She can't get a signal. The best part of that is that they, we never see. we're not shown the psychic on and just like that. We just see like over her shoulder. She's looking at cards.

Holder, holder. We just hear her voice. Hold on her bra. You see her bra. Hanging over the shower. Two boulders in it. And then they finally reveal this person. You're like, oh my God, they're obviously they're setting this up for a big reveal.

Who's this going to be? And then it was Susie Esmond. Oh. I mean, it's like, okay. Okay. She's part of the HBO family. It did feel like we could have seen her from the beginning. Yeah.

And that would have been better actually for the acting. It's not like it was like Charlize Theron or like a huge movie star. It was someone whose show just ended three months prior. Yeah. Right. You call her Judith. Well, I've never met her. Okay.

Yeah. Have you ever had that experience meeting a celebrity and then like you go from like saying their full name to just saying. their first name and it's kind of like that's weird I you always think of them as their full name yeah I the the gentleman uh who played my father on uh the comedy bang bang TV show uh Dave Thomas from SCTV Wendy's um I always called him Mr Thomas and he was always like pleading with me call me Dave call me Dave and I was like I just can't you know it's like When someone you respect from a different generation, you're talking to them, it's just, like, very difficult for me to, like, just go, hey, Dave, what's going on, you know?

Totally. You know, I did a show that was a, I hosted a roast of Dave Foley for his 50th birthday. This is a few years ago. Fun. And, yeah, it was a lot of fun. And Dave Thomas was there. And I was very excited. Yes, it was a haunted roast.

Oh my God, that's a great idea for a TV show, The Haunted Roast. Where, like, comedians... The ghost roast. Oh, yeah, the comedians now roast historical figures. And their AI. They did do that. They did, oh, okay. But were the AI?

They were not AI. Well, this is different then. That's different. They were just assholes and costumes. And, of course, they were just read to filth by the roastmaster Jeff Ross. Red to the absolute filth from, he's on Broadway now. They were gagging for it. What?

Or isn't he? I think he has a Broadway show. Jeff Ross, the roastmaster. Yeah. I think he is. He could take a banana for the road? Might be off Broadway. Give it a googs.

Let's find out. Maybe it's in hell? No. No, I think it's on Broadway. I think it's on Earth, actually. Is it in Riyadh? It's off Broadway in Riyadh. That's off, off, off Broadway.

Anyway, so Dave Thomas, you know, was complimenting me and I was very excited and then he asked for my email address and then he emailed me a couple times. One of those jib-jab things with you dancing? What if every single person? It was a real hero boner killer. I was like, oh, I thought this guy was cool. And he wanted to get lunch, and I just kind of never really responded because I, this has happened to me so many times when somebody that's cool or famous or whatever, they show some kind of interest in me. And then I get so freaked out that I shut down. And I'm sure to these people, I'm like the rudest fucking person like, yeah, that guy fucking ghosted me.

Yeah. Who is this guy to do that to me? You should write him back now. I'm the famous one. Yeah. I should write him back now. I should write them all back now. Especially knowing.

I'm actually available now. He never gave me his email address and he was on probably seven episodes of my show. He didn't want direct contact. You know. Take a hint. Was there drinking at your show? No, I guess not. Yeah, that might have been a crucial difference.

That's funny. But, you know, email snafus and gaffs, these are the things. That's my new show. Mm-hmm. Dick Clark and Paulette Tompkins, emails, snafews and gaffos. That's right. And the emails are not snafus or gaffs. It's just emails.

Then we also do snafus and gaps. So a long part of the show is just reading email chains back and forth. Yep. Forwarded from your grandparents. Yeah. Cool. Well, speaking of which, I have another installment for scammers. Oh, thank God.

Oh, okay. They left you alone for too long This I just discovered in my photos I was going through my photos Trying to clean things up I hate doing that What do you mean by clean things up Like get rid of the dickpicks

Or like some photo that I don't need anymore This is 99% dick pics Yeah Screenshots of my own dick pics It's like these are doubles Screenshots All right By the way I also

I also, speaking of this, I know, speaking of, but on topic, Instagram, whenever you upload a picture, it makes a double of the picture. I don't like that. No, it doesn't. I think it does. That's a setting. It uploads a double of the picture? It like saves a, it saves the picture to your phone. That is a setting. Yeah, you can change that setting. Oh, shit. I got to figure out how to do this.

That's not a good setting. Why would anyone want that? Why would anyone want that? Like, you're already uploading the picture. You have it already. I don't understand. Okay, go ahead, Paul. So you're cleaning up your picks. I guess it's for those weirdos that take a picture directly to Instagram. Oh, that would be crazy.

Because when you open Instagram to post something, it opens up the camera. And it's like, come on, man. What do you think I'm doing? Yeah, I'm just going to, like, raw dog this. Yeah. I'm not going to, like, give it. I'm not going to set up the composition or, you know. All right.

This is from February of 23. Whoa. I'm going to say maybe there's a chance we've discussed this before. Okay. I can't wait. If it starts to feel familiar, stop me. Can we put this in historical perspective before you do this? Yes, absolutely.

And just see what was going on in the world. Yes. A young Joe Biden was the president of the United States. Well, the Lebanese liquidity crisis was occurring. Oh, no. There was an... Everything must go. The first couple of days of the month, there was an ice storm in Texas.

Lebanon had it going out of business. There was the Western Australian radioactive capsule incident was happening. Capsule. Not the capsule. Way to say it. Eight construction workers were eight souls were killed near Sevastopol Crimea in an overnight fire. So this is a lot of stuff was going on, Paul. So I can only imagine, like, in your mind, all every, it was a tumult what was happening.

Yes. All of the, I was thinking about all of that holding it in my heart. And then this happens. Okay. Okay. Let's hear it. All right. Someone writes to me and opens with, hi.

I read back, hey. Is it Jack? Go for Jack. What are you talking about? I'm talking about sex, baby. I'm talking about you and me. This is not good. Who are you?

People call me the not good man. Who are you, dear? Why call you a bad guy? My name is Julia. And you? I am not a bad guy. I am the not good man. My name is Jack and Goodman.

Why do people call you Julia? This is my name. This makes almost too much sense. Maybe where are you from? Good question. I think so. I've been a wild rover for many a year, and I've spent all me money on whiskey and beer.

So now you're drunk. Don't judge, Judy. Drinking is not good for your health. I wish I'd heard that 10 minutes ago. Okay. Thank you. You're welcome. Everyone should cherish their own body.

What makes you such a wreck? That's an amazing question. I have treated my body like a rag doll that fell in the mud. I guess because of emotions, I wish I were like the famous robot, Roomba. Maybe you can live a different way. Like in a tree? At least you have to give up alcohol. But I can still enjoy alcohol candies, right?

Without being drunk, I think it's okay. Oh, then no deal. I like to eat alcohol candies until I start singing the alphabet. Well, I won't bother you anymore. It's no bother. I have lots of time since I got in the lifeboat. The end. That's good.

So I love these because quite often they give up on you instead of like trying. It feels so good when they give up on you. Yeah. And they don't get mad. Like it's funny when you, as soon as you mentioned, a scam. Then they get so angry. It's like, fuck you, you are devil. Right. Yeah.

I had one where they called me recently and I was expecting like a call from a weird number because of some customer service thing. And they were like, they were like, hello, it's, like they're like, hello, it's Michael from the trail bank. And I was like, from the what? Like from the trea bank.

I was like from the trea bank. And they were like, yep. And they kind of like almost laugh. And then I was like, that's not a bank, you're a scam. And then I hung up, but how I talked about this? Because, like, my dad, like, got mad at them recently and was, like, getting really into, like, talking back to them on the phone. And I was, like, telling Mike, like, oh, my God, my dad's, like, not letting it go with these guys. I mean, whatever, he's having fun with it, you know? And then I was doing the same thing.

And Mike was like, you're literally doing that. I was like, you're a scam. This is a scam. Don't call me. Like, I guess I'm an old man. But, of course, this is probably people who are forced to do this and who have been enslaved and... Do you think that that's true? Hey, man.

We're trying to have a fun time here. Oh, that's right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Never thought of it that way. And you're wasting their time, which, uh, that they're going to be punished for later. They're going to be punished because I didn't fall for it. I feel, I don't think it's fair either, but it's an unfair situation.

So you think you're supposed to fall for it to help them? No, no. think you're not supposed to even respond because well when they call me and talk to me I'm going to talk back I like getting phone calls so hey I'll pick up um the wrong guy you love it you'll you'll you'll pick up any phone anywhere right Paul oh my god yes the the obviously the best is when a pay phone's just ringing on the sidewalk oh I love you pick it up and then you get ensnared in some weird you ever know what's going to be on the other end story where you have to kill somebody

within 20 minutes? Yeah, that's so fun. That's so fast. Yeah. It's too fast. It's really too fast. Give me 25. You weren't even thinking about it. Yeah. Yeah. Let me psychologically work up to this. It would be funny to do a movie like that, you know, where it's

the idea is like it's in real time but the amount of time is so short but you just keep pretending like all this is happening within 20 minutes. Right. It's an hour and a half and if it's in real time, it's stars Bill Mar? Everything that's in real time stars

Belmar. Paul is so defeated. Just hearing that person's name. I didn't expect to hear that name today. So some days you do expect it. Here's what I, oh yeah. You'd wake up thinking, oh, I'm going to hear Bill Maher's name today. I wake up with a start.

I'm going to hear Bill Maher. I think that it's funny when you see online, somebody, you know, because every once in a while somebody shares a dumb fucking thing that Bill Maher said, it's supposed to provoke outrage. And then you read in the comments, there's somebody who's just catching on

to the fact that he sucks. We're like, I was a fan for a long time, but not anymore. I was a fan until late 2024. You held on for that long? I think I actually know people who are surprisingly tuned into everything he's doing,

whether they agree or not. They just want hear it. Do they write on his show? All right, we have to take a break. No. I'm sorry, Paul. I was just warming up. Okay, bye. Listen, telephones, right? If you shorten it, it's just phones. We need them.

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com slash wiser for an exclusive offer and we're back i know i did not know but now i do now you know yeah the more you know i would have told loran if you told me i wouldn't have minded a head paul you were away from the mic there for a while would you say i walked away because you're getting it was getting too heated paul how is your epoxy situation Oh, Lauren, I'm so glad you asked because it arrived finally. Oh, boy. And it looks. You know, you were worried that the sizing was off.

I was worried the sizing was off. When I looked at it, I thought, this thing looks gorgeous. And it's also two inches too short. Oh. And it is? Uh, yeah. But at that point, she said. we were just like he the guy started offering solutions and we're like I tell you what we'll figure

this out on our own I think I think our journey has come to an end what were some of the solutions do you remember you saw a text picture something like a back splash on the back of it but you saw a texted picture from him and you thought that doesn't look right did you say are the proportions correct uh yes we and then his response was those are proportions that you we gave him the measurements of the space and then Then we, he, and then the plywood piece was taken from us by his assistant. Then he said, ripped away, ripped from our hands. From your cold dead hands.

And then he said, yeah, but these are the, this is the size of the plywood. And I said, yeah, but we gave you the measurements. And you could have told us, hey, just so you know, this plywood does not fit. Right. The measurements that you gave. And you must acquit. And then we could have stopped you there and said, don't do it then. but he did it and I knocked money off the you know I bargained him down and I oh you have to

understand the whole time Janie feels very guilty because she was the one who found this guy oh and she thought this is all my fault this is all fucked up it's my fault and I said no it's not your fault it's like it's this guy's not good at doing business and then after I I got him to knock $200 off the price and then I told that to Janie and she said oh but I mean

you know he's all by himself he just works on this stuff I'm like what don't make me feel bad now but he did it wrong and he was bummed that I was asking for a discount and then I was like

I've been thinking about it ever since should I just give the guy the extra $200? No I hate that kind of thing where it weighs on you forever like especially when it's like oh should I

I, it often has to do with money, I feel. For a guy who's bad at business to own a business, like that, that's incompatible. He should not own a business if he's bad at business. He should have come back to your home and measured it and done the work on him. And slept there overnight and just like got a feel for the space. Yeah. You should have borrowed some of my clothes. Understood what it's like to be me.

He should have dressed up as a woman and pretended to be a nanny, maybe. He should have hosted an episode of the show with you guys. Yes. Well, he did. Last week. It came out. What? This is the first episode of November.

He sounds just like you. Wow. Yeah, we were Mrs. Doubtfire last week. Wait a minute. I thought it looked like you had a mask on, but I just didn't say anything. Hold on. Am I the guy and I've Tyler Durdened myself? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. But with a counter? It was me the whole time. So, so. I just realized what Tyler Durgeon was. I thought you were talking about the guy. who plays Medea. Tyler Perry.

Yes. Tyler Perry's Tyler Jordan. I would like, see that. Tyler Durden is Medea. Well, wait. So did you, what are you doing? What are you going to do? Yeah, what are you going to do?

Are you going to do? Are you going to throw it out? No, I'm not going to throw it out because it is, it is good. It's just, it needs like a little something on the, on the, on the, on the back so things don't fall down the. What if you and Janie took? But it's, I have it, it's functioning fine. Yeah. What if you and Janie took turns holding it?

It's right behind me, isn't it? Oh, it is very nice. You get a sense of it. Yeah. It's a shiny wood. Yeah. Yes, it looks, it has a metallic sort of brass kind of finished looking to it. Looking to it?

Yeah. Looking to it. We're looking to it right now on your camera. Find a picture and send it to you. You could put like a little raised like platform there and that would act as like a shelf and that would cover the gap. You could also put your ass back there, which would act as a shelf. Hey, man. You could put your crack back there and see if it's wider than that crap.

Hey, man. You could. I could. Maybe I did already. All right. Well, which one was wider? So much you two know. Well, I'll never tell.

That'll be when I fall off a cliff. I'll say which one. My ass was wider. Of course you'd think that. The crack, you have a really wide crack. So sorry, Paul. It's like four inches wide. So what if I don't touch?

So if they don't. You can't, your ass can't clap. It's too wide. You can't make it clap. Don't you think I know that? Yeah. Try as you might. Try as you Mike.

Try as you might. You can't make it clap, my dear boy. Has Mike decided to host a podcast called tries you Mike? He has decided to do that. Okay, good. And what is it tailed in that podcast? It's him trying things. Yeah, it's like he's one of the new try guys.

So it's like dirty jobs. Yeah. Yeah, it's just like that. I think. Okay, this is getting a little messy. Spooky. And spooky. And I'm scared.

Everything that's spooky is messy, but not everything that's messy is spooky. Yeah. By the way, it was just Halloween a couple of days ago. Yeah. And Lauren, I've thought about your advice about not telling Emmy. what her Halloween costume is until like a week before. Yeah. And I, in my mind, that was what was going to happen.

And I think two months before Kool-up said, oh, by the way, you're going to be roomy from K-pop Demon Hunters and then bought the costume. And then she's been like, I don't want to be roomy. And then, okay, well, I guess you don't have to be. And then two days later, I want to be roomy. I want us both to be roomy. And so I don't know where she. Yeah, it gets really complicated.

I know I'm so curious what's going to happen in my house, too, because Holly wanted to be... Because Halloween was just happening, it just happened, and you're still curious? Yeah. By the way, we... That's so stupid. We should mention that we're taping this one hour in advance of Halloween. This is...

It's 11 p.m. on October 30th, so we don't know. And we're pretending that it's past Halloween, but it's going to happen any second now. She did want to be Darth Vader. Oh, yeah. Why? We were talking because we went to a birthday party where Darth Vader was featured and she was very scared and then liked that. Wait, what do you mean featured?

Was there somebody there dressed as Darth Vader? Hey Makuchi's son. This was a year ago now, had a birthday party where it was a Star Wars theme and there was a large cutout of Darth Vader in the park and the Star Wars music blasting through a huge speaker. And Holly was very scared. And then she was like three. And then we in the car later, she was like,

like, I like, I like, she wanted to know all about that. We kind of, like, taught her about it. And then I have a Princess Leia wig, so I was like, well, I could do that. And so, but then the other day she was... Why do you have a Princess Leia wig? From newcomers. When we did our Star Wars season, we had Princess Leia wigs on the cover of the art. Got it.

I didn't know. I knew that. I just didn't know that you kept the wig. Hey, I don't get rid of wigs. You never know when you're going to need it. And I, uh, and then she wanted to be a fruit bat. And then... The band?

Now she wants to be a knight. A knight? A dragon slaying? Oh, okay. And so then Mike said he would be a dragon. Oh. And then I was like, well, then I think me and Gigi should have like a couple's costume as well. Like we could both be puppies or something.

Right. And I don't know where we're going to land. So it's all up in the air. But I was thinking we might go to, I might take him to Spirit Halloween and let people pick out costumes. What would the puppies be doing with the dragon and the dragon? Nothing. It doesn't have to be a group thing. because I'm like, I don't want to be a princess.

You know you're going to get these questions. Yeah. Like, oh, is the dragon eating the puppies? Are the puppies eating the dragon? We're just a random crew. That was a very... People are going to say. That was a very special day in our house when we went to Albertsons, I believe, or was it Ralph's.

Oh, no, it was Lucky's. Yeah, Lucky's grocery store. Wow. Was our grocery store when I was growing up. And it was a very special day when my mom would say, okay, this is the week. that you can pick your Halloween costume because there was one aisle that had all the plastic

the plastic Halloween costumes with the, it had a mask and then just like a plastic kind of covering that you put over your body. And it wasn't be. If you're a Superman, it would say the word Superman.

Yes. And a picture of Superman. Yeah, you'd go, God damn it, I just want to have the fucking S on the chest. I don't want to say. How stupid would Superman look if he was flying around with the word Superman

and then a little drawing of himself. And a big care of himself. In case people still thought he was Clark Kent. No one would respect him. But that's what it was like. But I remember that being just like a huge, huge day. And I also, I feel like my brother was sick on Halloween once. Oh.

And didn't, never got to use his costume. And that was a big thing because these costumes were an extra expense that we couldn't really afford, you know. So that was a big thing. But then I also had to promise. to ask everyone for extra candy. Each stop of like, I'm also collecting for my brother who's sick,

which feels like a scam, like this scam that you were just reading this text chain of. I would have slam the door in your face if you said that to me. Wow. Yeah. Would you have given me one piece of candy? No.

I would have taken the candy out of your bag. The ones that I collected from other neighbors? Not all of them. Maybe like three. Whatever my fists. could grab. Okay. Then I would turn off the lights.

Yeah. And then you'd open that little thing in the front door that where you can, like a little square opens up and you go like, and by the way, don't keep lying to people because it's a really nasty look, little boy. And by the way, don't keep lying to people. Because it's a really nasty look, nasty little boy. You nasty little freak. Nasty.

Boy. Nasty boy. Did either of you have this experience when you were trick-or-treating like I did, which is, first of all, you have the local dentist who gives you toothbrush instead of candy. I've heard of that. Did not have that. Never had that. Fuck that guy.

Fuck that guy. And then I also, there was a person who just gave out pennies. Yeah. I never had that either. But we had, there was, you know, there were a couple fancy places we would go. And one of them was this girl I knew growing up who was quite wealthy, apparently, because her house was incredible. She had an elevator in her house.

And it was very fancy And they would give out popcorn balls And that seemed like a big awesome thing We we Paul and I feel grew up During the height of the homemade treats We'll have razor blades in them scam

Yeah Which which you know I believe for many a year And then recently it's all come out that No there are no known recorded instances Of this ever happening anywhere It's just a It doesn't make any sense

Yeah. Well, what's the end goal? You're just trying to cut people's mouths when you're, you don't even get to watch them do it. What's the end goal of someone like Ed Gein? But doesn't like the, doesn't the killer want to see the blood fall out of your mouth? Well, not the Tylenol killer.

Yeah, that one was raised. Or her. But yeah, the, the thing about the, like, the razor blade and the apple, first of all, there's no way, you can't disguise that. Yeah. You can't. Right. Where are you to cut it open to put it in?

What I heard, and there was a woman who gave out caramel apples that she made, which is so lovely. And so, like, how incredible to give one a piece to every single kid. But my mom wouldn't let me eat it because of this scam. And I think the sort of way that they were talking about is, oh, they put the caramel over. They put the caramel over the apple. It puts the lotion in the basket. It puts the raw hip-nol in the cocktail. But that would disguise the sort of lacerations in the apple, I think, is what they were trying to sound.

But also, like, you would remember which house you got that from. Yeah. You know what I mean? Well, that was, I think. Well, they do. The first year, they don't put it in. Yeah. And the next year they do put it in.

Then the next year they don't. And this, by the way, this is a woman who lived five houses down from us. There's one year they get away with it. Yeah. Yeah. People are like, I'm not sure what cut my mouth. It couldn't have been that house because last year he did the same thing. I didn't have a razor blade. I don't think Candy Apple is a good thing to hand out, though, because, like, what are you going to put it in your pillowcase?

It's messy. It's kind of like, this is. Yeah, I don't. It must have been wrapped in something, right? I think it was wrapped. Scott, please tell me. I believe. This is, I mean, it's.

Did she wrap it up? At this point, this is 50 years ago. I can't recall the exact details, but I do remember the exact house. It was five houses away. and it was just a nice woman and yet my mom was still so freaked out by these fake news stories that she said I couldn't eat it

and took it away from me. Did you ever have someone... Did you ever have someone have like a haunted house in your neighborhood where you would go in? Yeah. You definitely had that and I'm like, that's not something I'd be doing now.

No, we, I think I must have told you this, but there was a certain point when I graduated. like I was 14 and I had been trick-or-treating maybe the year before and everyone was like, you're too old to go trick-or-treating anytime I would ask for candy. You're like six feet tall. Yeah. So I decided to...

Trigger-treat. I'm just trick-or-treating for my son. I'm a cowboy. On a steel horse I ride. Trick-treating for my son. But I decided to do the haunted house stuff at my house. and so I set up like a big dead like I fashioned a huge dead person and I had a I had one of those like fake heads that you put a wig on you know the styrofoam fake head yeah and I made a face

on it and then I cut a hole from the mouth to the back you did to the I cut a hole from the mouth to the back of the head. And then I showed my mom what I planned to do, which is I learned this trick in school where you take a lighter and then you take some hair spray and you spray it. Oh, I remember this story. And I did it through the mouth and it shot out like 10 feet. And she said, you're not doing this.

So instead I just would hide in the bushes and jump out of people whenever they came up to the door. Oh, you know, the best one is like when people sit on the bench, like, look like a, you know, stuffed thing and then just scream or whatever. We had that, yeah. You know what was surprisingly effective was putting string hanging down from a rafter right in front of the door, and people would always get freaked out because it has the feeling of cobwebs. Yeah, yeah. When I was a kid, my cousins and I did a haunted house in our basement. And the one thing...

Did you lure anyone down there? Like our younger cousins. Right. Oh, okay. Yeah. The only thing I truly remember was I had fashioned this... So, like, we have this, like, big furnace. And so...

That's scary. The basement is fucking scary. It's scary on its own. You didn't have to be scary on its own. Period. End of sentence. Basement is scary. Even, even...

renovated. I'm a little scared. Yes. You go closer to hell. Yeah. So I wanted to make it look like someone had been crushed by the furnace was lying underneath it. Yikes. So I took a pair of jeans and I filled them with newspaper. Them jeans. And I had like... Did you fill out the ass? He was crushed face up. Okay. Yeah. So I wasn't, I wasn't thinking like, what kind of ass should How sexy do I want it to be? And I put, I took my, Is this a sad story or a scary story? I had a pair of boondockers.

The sexy staff in town got eaten. What are boondockers, Paul? Boondockers are like sort of construction boots, um, with those, um, those stiff, uh, yellow laces, you know what I mean? Yeah. Like those kind of boots. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, pro tembalands. Um, and so.

So I, you know, put them in the pant legs, but then the hardest thing was, how do I keep the shoes, like, sticking up in the air? Oh, right. So they don't, you know. And I don't remember how I solved that problem. But you were stressed. I was stressed, but I finally figured it out. I don't remember what I did. And then, of course, the coup de grace pouring ketchup all over the place.

Oh, good. And that smells wonderful the next day. The smell of ketchup just out in the world. is divine. And did ants find all the ketchup overnight? I'm sure they did. Oh, good. Or as we called them, the creatures that found them,

we called water bugs. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's just roaches, hon. One time in sixth grade, my friend put her face in my birthday cake

at my birthday party. Why? That's bold. Yeah, she was bold. friends this day but she would she's actually so not like that now that it's funny but when we were kids she was very um like outgoing like loud always doing something kind of crazy like she had control yeah and she did that and then she went and washed her face in a our little powder room sink and there was just icing everywhere and then all these ants came it was like

such a like series of i i events i guess i thought that You needed to already have an ant problem in order to attract a giant ant thing because... They just know where the sugar lie. They fucking know. They figured the shit out, man. But the night of one of Jimmy Partos podcastathons, which was held over the Acme, where I played, I think a vampire, I did a vampire cooking segment or something like that. Oh, yeah. And it was I just basically like took a, like every ingredient I could buy at the store and then just kept adding to it.

then you're going to want to add this. Then you're going to want to add chocolate syrup. I kind of miss stuff like that. And so and then it was just like a, just a huge pile of stuff, you know, with no nuance to it. I was like, and then you're done. But I, it was late at night. I think this was an all night thing. So I just like got home, put the remnants of all of the cooking stuff down on the floor next to my bed.

Of course you did. I didn't think because I didn't, I'd never seen a single aunt in that. that place ever before woke up and it was just a giant ant-hill all over this thing. That's so disgusting. Why didn't you just put it in the trash? I know. In hindsight, would I have thrown away all of it? I must have been...

40. No, 30-something. So this was last year. 30-something. 30-something, yeah, 30-something as a comedy guy, this makes total sense. 30-something as a man in America, I would say, I don't know what's going on with you. But, no, I knew a lot of guys like that. I recently had some ice cream and there was like a drop of ice cream got on the counter.

And I didn't clean it up immediately. And the next day, swarmed with ants. It's crazy. These ants. I've never seen an ant in the house otherwise. They're just waiting. Yeah. What are they eating when they're not eating that stuff?

Yeah. And where are they coming from? Like, are they coming from outside? And like somebody has to go in to every house every night. They have an ant that goes on a scouting mission. Well, you know, and honey I shrunk the kids, there's those ants that find that big Oreo. Never seen it. You should come on scottess and see it and we'll talk about it.

And they'll eat the Oreo. Lauren was just miming, eating something, waving her head back and forth. It looked like she got hit on the back of the head with a bottle. That's what I eat. I like burgers. All right, we have to take a break. Okay. Can I just sit before we do?

I also like burgers. We'll be right back. Okay. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Fall, autumn. It's great. Sweater weather leaves crunching under your feet. Maybe a special fall-flavored latte.

But fall also means the days are getting shorter and it's dark out more, which can be really hard for so many people. So this fall, BetterHelp wants you to reach out to someone special in your life. Maybe you call your grandmother. Reconnect with a friend who's been on your mind. That can be hard, but after you do it, you'll likely think to yourself, why didn't I do this sooner? And that's what we often hear with therapy. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is one of the world's largest online therapy platforms, having served over 5 million people globally. Here's how it works. You fell out a short questionnaire that helps identify your needs and preferences, and BetterHelp matches you with a therapist. If you aren't happy with their match, you can switch to a different

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Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com slash freedom. That's B-E-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash Freedom! Is it just me or are things actually really scary right now in the world of public health? Every day brings another confusing headline or yet again a far-fetched claim. Vaccines are somehow up for debate. And parents are scrolling TikTok for medical advice. I'm Chelsea Clinton, an advocate, author, investor, teacher, and mom navigating this insane time right alongside you.

I hope you'll join me on my new podcast. That can't be true. a show that sorts fact from fiction, especially on issues impacting our health. From Lemonada Media and the Clinton Foundation, that can't be true, is out October 2nd. And we're back. We sure are, and you know what it's time for? I actually don't. Oh.

You knew, Lauren, and no one told me? I did. I didn't realize it was a secret from you. It's not, Scott, I was never trying to hide this from you. I think you were. It was a live by omission. You're throwing me under the boost. You're throwing me to the booth. Who's the first person to say throwing,

they threw me under the bus on a reality show, do you think? I think somebody who got thrown under a bus. Yeah. And they're like, I know what this feels like, that time I got thrown under a bus. Like at the end of slow horses, season one? Are you watching that show now? I just started watching it.

And I think about you, Paul, because I know it's a favorite of yours. Are you not enjoying it? No, I enjoy it, yeah. I think about you because I think, well, someone likes this. No, I like, I like season one. I, I've watched, there are only six episode seasons. Yeah.

And so I started season two and I'm two episodes in. I'm like, this doesn't have the same, like nothing's happened yet in season two. I'm like, I feel like this was the, they shot them one after the other and they ran out of money for season two. Oh, just wait. Oh, okay. okay okay we're halfway through the latest season season three just happened last night oh they they just dropped it see it that's only it's only season three yeah i thought there were like you know what six seasons of this i'm wrong oh okay okay all right fine pa is that what you

wanted to hear how does that feel i did okay you got it out of me i'm wrong happy i'm very happy i love it when you're wrong i want you to be happy guys even if that means me being wrong. Yes, Lauren, play peacemaker again. You're both gorgeous. You, by the way, I think if John Cena were to pass away, you should play peacemaker. That would be funny, right? Yeah. And I wear his costume? I said Lauren. Is this all like, hang? Oh, me? Yeah. I love that. I don't want you to play peacemaker, Paul. I hope I get to do it one day just for fun. And I hope it's not because he passed away. It's just because he's giving someone else a chance. Everybody should get to a turn.

It should be like James Bond, where he retires and then someone else plays Peacemaker. And they reboot it all over again. Yeah. Who do you think is going to play James Bond? Who are the top candidates? Henry Cavill, is he in there? He should be probably. Henry Winkler.

Yeah. Henry Portrait of a serial killer. Henry, the bald comic strip guy. Yeah, okay. That can't still be running anywhere, right? Is any comic running anywhere? I just had this discussion again on another one of my podcasts. Can you imagine growing up and loving comic strips so much that you devote your life to art?

And then you finally graduate, you have a great idea. And then everyone's like, no, we're not buying these anymore. No one reads them. No, they're still there. Okay. They have to be. I think we would have heard definitively if they were. were not making comic strips anymore.

I will say I just, with the whole... Somebody would have told us specifically. I would have gotten a letter in the mail. Maybe on hack claims 8.com. But with the recent... Well, that's the thing. It's not functioning as well as it could. Maybe somebody was trying to tell us that.

This is a whole huge deal. We had a page on there that was, you could click on a button that said investigations. And that was going to be all the things that we've ever talked about that never got, we never got an answer to on the show. Yeah, we never got resolved. Yeah. And then it was up to you to investigate and find out the answer.

It was. Yes. Yeah. But we get just much like the snowman, we give you all the clues. Much like the snowman, we give you all the clues. Yeah, Mr. Snowman, I gave you all the clues. Mr.

Snowman. Give me the clues. Do they still print comic? Of course they do. I know. Slow horses. I'm like slow typer. Yeah.

Hey, I heard that. Do they still print comic strips? Like in the paper? Yeah, that's what I'm asking. 100%. How much can a modern cartoonist make in syndication? You know what I mean? I have no clue what a cartoonist would make off of a comic strip.

It used to be in the hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. It had to be good. If you got syndicated. Hundreds of. thousands, like if you're Kathy? Oh, yeah. I think Dilbert. That's good shit.

Many are exclusively published online, but the majority of traditional newspaper comic strips have some internet presence. King Feature Syndicate, of course. Oh, yes. The first name in comics. Well, that didn't really tell me. Yeah. So with the recent brewhaha regarding Jane Goodall and her mysterious death,

Um, I serious death in her 90s. Yes. I mean, we don't have any of the answers. This is part of the reason we started the investigations button on, on, uh, had claims date. But I think so. But, um, a lot of the articles mentioned the far side, um, cartoon about her. Yes, I saw that. Oh, what was that?

It was a, it was a, it, the, I believe the cartoon in question has, uh, a couple of monkeys sitting in a tree. perhaps K-I-S-I-N-G. Well, first came love. Oh, this is a disgusting little comic here? Well, well, well, another blonde hair conducting a little more research with that Jane Goodall Tramp. That's what it said. Yes.

So that's the cartoon. And then it talked about how I believe the syndicate was going to nix that strip or something like that. They got a complaint from like Jane Goodall's foundation or whatever. Right. Right. And they said, this is disdry. respectful and then Jane Goodall

Scott. Yes, Jane Goodall chimed in and said this is so funny and she loved it. She loved it and gave permission and so everything was papered over. Anyway, that reminded me that... And now that the foundation sells T-shirts with that comic strip on it. No, they don't. Yes, they do. And they don't

give any money to Gary Larson. Is that true? I don't know. Okay. Are you ready for this? Wait, I was going to say, I was going to say the second part of this is I realized I had no far side comics anywhere We're in the house, so I got, I purchased the giant tome of the complete Farside comics. That's a good thing.

Wow. And I also, I'm on Reddit on this thing about Jane Goodall and it says, when Gary retired, he actually spent time volunteering at Jane Goodall's research station in Tanzania. Oh, that's right. The last line of this is very funny. She also wrote a forward to one of his collections. Does this have the last line that I saw, which is he volunteered, the story is he volunteered at her place and it's like a feel good

he did this, he did this and then he was attacked by a monkey is the last sentence. No, I didn't see that. All right. As of 2024, there's still comics and newspapers. Okay. Because here are the top ones still running. Okay. Dilbert.

Fucking fuck you. Barney, Google and Snuffy Smith. I loved Dilbert when I was in fifth grade. You can have them. Barney Google and Snuffy Smith has run over a century. I'm wondering if, Lauren, when you told us, hey, I've started seeing this guy, Mike, who turned out to be Mike, I remember this conversation vividly when you told us about this.

And Paul, you were very complimentary. He said, oh, he's such a good looking boy. I remember he said. Is this real? Yes. We were at the old Earwolf studios. I remember all this. and um but i looking boy but i wonder is it sound like me i wonder if you had showed us his

picture and he looked exactly like dilbert what her reaction would have been what the fuck because you were you loved dilbert i didn't say i loved i loved i didn't say he was a dilf a dilb a dilbert i like to follow alley oop is still running whoa the caveman prince valiant fucking Jesus prince valiant that was boring when i I was a kid. Family circus. Ugh. And that doesn't make any sense anymore.

Is that what I'm hearing? Or Heathcliff doesn't. Oh, yeah. Heathcliff got really weird. I remember hearing that. Right. Okay. They're like real weird non sequiturs.

Yeah. Marmaduke. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I remember Doe Boys, like Nick would always get very upset about Heathcliff. It doesn't have any internal logic. BC.

BC is still out there? BC. Dennis the fucking menace. This guy. He needs to. Stop. Gasoline Alley is the longest running current comic strip. Wow.

Second longest running comic strip of all time. I know that it was recently announced that Nancy is switching writers and artists. It was Olivia James, I believe, was the pseudonym of the person who was doing it. And it was great for the past like five or six years. I bought several collections of it. And it was updated and very funny. and... Really?

Yeah. But it still looked the same? I think it was... This person, Olivia James, updated the style a little bit. But it was like very modern humor where the kids had phones and, you know, all sorts of stuff.

There's ironic racism. But it was very funny. And they just announced that Olivia James, I believe is the name, is stepping down. And there's a new indie comic person who's taking over. and saw some of their work, and it looked very funny.

So that's one that I know is still going on and is very, very good. Dang. Fucking Dick Tracy's still out there? Jeez. Hagar the Horrible. Oh, my God. How many more stories can be told about Hagar? Beetle Bailey.

Because Hagar the Horrible is just, he's a Viking, right? But he just does, like, modern humor. He does, like, the most mundane shit. Yeah, but it's just like, oh. yeah, wow, Vikings, they're just like us. Yeah, that's the goal, just to get people to realize Vikings were not so different from we're doing. Blondie's still out there, guys.

Blondie and Dagwood. That must, have they updated that at all? Like, it seemed like Blondie was all about a guy who goes to work at an office from nine to five and the wife, Blondie would sit around, I don't know, making him sandwiches or something. I don't know. Well, he made his own insane sandwiches. Yeah. What would she do? Here's the most recent

Hagar, the horrible comic. Okay, great. The picture is, I guess, his wife. And they're sitting at the table and he's eating somebody like with his face in the spaghetti. And she says, Hagar, I know you love spaghetti, but you haven't looked up from your plate once. And he says, I'm lost in the sauce. And she says, I'll take that as a compliment.

and he says glopcloth. What? Fuck off. I know it's... I think just when I got this Farside collection, I was like thinking about what a monumental achievement it is to come up with seven gags a week. Like it, you know, it's very, very difficult to write that much material.

Yeah. But the quality of the Farside and Calvin and Hawkins and things like that was pretty consistent most years, Bloom County. But I think the bare minimum, you have to make sense at this point. You can't just be coasting on fumes.

Here, this one has an actual joke. Okay. So it's a picture of Hagar and he's at the... Oh, it's a picture of Hagar. We know it's pictures. So it's not a photograph? It's a video.

It's a video. It's a picture of Hagar. he is at the medieval doctor office okay and he's got blood dripping into a pot and it says what's this bloodletting going to cost me

and then the whatever that person will be called blood letter says don't worry it's been taken care of reveal behind a curtain Dracula are you fucking kidding

is Dracula dressed like a Viking no he's he's more at least 1960s if not you know something Dracula and he's behind a curtain that's on a circular thing like a shower curtain like that wouldn't exist then yeah what's the difference I just want to know what what you think 1960s Dracula looks like

as opposed to 1930s Dracula beetle haircut yeah okay 30s it's not black and white okay and then um okay here's the here's a go and this is one you guys will relate to okay so it's two guys at a Relate to this. Is Hagar one of the guys? One of them is Hagar. Please tell me Hagar's one of the guys. And is it a picture of him?

Okay. It's a picture. Okay. And then this other guy. And Hagar says, did you see that beautiful, stunning woman sitting by the window? And then the little nerd says, yes, my heart is pounding. And he said, did her big boyfriend catch you staring? And he says, why do you think my heart is pounding?

What are these two pussies up to? Well, Hager is. to cugs. Hagar's married, right? Yeah, he's married. So he's living vicariously through this shrimp. Did her big boyfriend catch you staring? Why do you think my heart is...

By the way, everyone probably knows each other in this tiny town, right? Village. Yeah. Village, yeah. I wonder, yeah. I wonder when that, when did that stop being a thing where you could know every single person in your... How about this one? Probably when the villages got bigger.

This one's crazy. but there's a bunch of I guess at what point did people say like you know what we're going to give everyone a pass on not knowing every single person's name you know what I mean like was it was it just like you're not allowed to be insulted yeah was it just like you know what

okay now there's 500 people in this town this is too impossible I'm never going to remember all you guys let's give everyone a pass on this yeah here this one has a bunch of villagers looking at Hagar and he's looking at them angrily money money money yes a picture money money money all you

men want is money and then he goes what do you think i'm made of and then they said restaurant food we can't afford what okay so this whoever's doing hagar now is just looking at expressions and saying how can i switch this and make it into a hagar money money money money all you men want is money what do you think i'm made of restaurant food we can't afford that's you don't ask what do you think i'm made of Yeah. You say, do you think I'm made of money? Do you think I'm made of money? And then you could probably say, like, no, we think you're made of restaurant food we can't afford.

I just don't like this one. Here, let's see what Dennis is up to before we move on. Oh, we're going to move on? Okay. Let's see what he's doing here. Okay. Okay, let's see what, okay. Let's find a good one.

Find a great Dennis of the Menace. Okay. I mean, this is, it's still a little cute. So Dennis is looking up at his angry dad or whatever. Is his dad or his neighbor, Mr. Wilson? Mr. Wilson. Okay. He goes, do you miss me when I'm not here?

And Mr. Wilson says, and Mr. Wilson says, how would I know? Oh, shit. Just his little kid doesn't leave enough. He's accusing Dennis of being a Velcro child. Yeah. I am back. My Zoom dropped out.

Here, how about this? Here, this is Dennis talking to two old people who I don't know. They're not his parents. They're really old. This must be Mr. and Mrs. Wilson. Yeah, he goes, look how fast I can text. He's holding a phone. Oh.

And then they say, I remember when all thumbs was an insult. Oh. Wow. Wow. But now, I guess it's a compliment. And I do hope he comes back. Oh, I'm here. I hope so, too.

I think he was really upset about the comments. I'm sorry, I've been talking to you. My Zoom went out. and then I've been talking to you for the last 60 seconds, but I realize now my audio and my video weren't on. No, they weren't for you. But I've been interacting with you, I think. And probably the listeners will have heard me interacting with you.

Oh, okay. God, I hope so. But I hope so. I can't wait to hear it myself. But you know what? No, Scott, just one second. Yeah. I want to reassure you that Popeye is still running.

Thank God. Can I hear one? Since 1919. Can I hear a latest Popeye? Lauren, can you? Call us up a Popeye. I'll see what I can do. And the number one comic that's still running, of course, is Garfield.

Yeah, I get that. Here's Harris. What's Jim Davis's lifestyle like? You know what I mean? I respect the people like Gary Larson who got out of the game who are just like, I want to go out on top. I don't need any more money. Jim Davis probably doesn't do any of this stuff anymore.

Like it gets credited to him, but he has artists who make this on his behalf in his stead. I mean, he's taking the PJ to the yacht. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, he's taking Pearl Jam to his yacht. Yeah, I know what you're saying. He's taking peanut and jelly. All right, let me say that the Popeye is a continuous narrative.

That's insane. Every week. What? Connecting. Every day. Every day. Every day is connecting. That's cool.

I like that. Okay. So there's a whole narrative happening about him basically saying sweepie needs to move out. Okay. Oh, how old is Sweepey now? She must be... Kindergarten.

68. Kindergarten. And she needs to move out? Apparently. There's a call him a he, by the way. You can't let him go off on his own. Yeah. And then he says,

everyone has the right to find themselves. And she says, he's just a baby. He's not prepared to face the world. And he says, he passed kindergarten sandbox with a C plus. And then Sweepie is beaming around the corner. Well, I'm glad it's still around. Good for Popeye. So here's such praise from Popeye.

Crushing it. Poppe's crushing it. You know what, guys? We got sidetracked talking about cartoons for so long that we have, we don't have time to do the three tour anymore. This fucking sucks. I'm sorry. That's a first. That's literally never happened.

I'm sorry, guys. It happened once before. Yeah. Did it not? Well, it happened once before. Well, guys. Thank you for listening. If you're a big three-tcher fan, and I doubt you are, sorry about that.

Yeah. But we'll be back next week, and you know, you know what happens then. You know what happens then. That's what happens when body starts slapping. Paul, you're doing a lot of shows on the road. Man, that's true. I think you're back at this point, right? True, and I'm getting ready to head out again at the end of the month for the Amy

Man and Ted Leo Christmas show. That's right. And we're going to be going to a lot of different places. We're going to hit a lot of cities. all the dates and venues and links are up on Paula F.tomkins.com slash live if you want to come out. Those shows, by the way, I know I don't really plug them that much because, you know, I'm just a part of them as opposed to it being my show.

But I'm a fairly big part of it. And it's a really fun show. These are great. I think were they at Largo last year? Two years ago. Two years ago. I saw it two years ago and it's so fun. and you do a ton of sketchwork in it.

Yeah, it's music and comedy. It sounds really fun. It's a really good group this year. Yeah, it really is. Me, Nellie McKay, Josh Gondelman, and of course, Amy and Ted, good times, good times. That sounds great. Some good stuff.

Yeah. And I have nothing going on. And Lauren, anything for you? I'm busy as a bee right now, shooting my show, which has been a blast. Shooting your shot. I'm just shooting my shout out in the world. I've been having a great time

And I'm very excited about it And that's that Yeah That's that guys That's that I'm not really doing I'm not doing many live shows right now Just every once in a while

You know what I am doing something Coming up What's the date? November something? November 8th I have a show That is an interesting show At Union Station

What? I know So I've probably Where I got married? Check it out Yeah Are you doing train prof? I'm doing a reenactment

of Scott's wedding Oh, but historically accurate. Just a little something I'm putting up. I think that sounds fun. That sounds really cool. Where is it at Union Station? What part of Union Station? Yeah, there's a special Dynasty typewriter sort of show happening there.

I don't know. I just got connected to this. Oh, you know what? I heard a little bit about this show and I think it sounds like a blast. I wish I could be a part of it. I think it's Saturday, November 8th. Wow, that sounds so fun. Maybe I'll try to come.

That is true. Cool. Well, that's that. Have a great day, everyone. Yeah, have a great day. Hey, we want everyone to have a great day, not just a good day. A great day. Mm-hmm.

Okay, I really, I think we need to wrap it up. Well, we'll say, bye. I also want to tell everyone we're going to see them next week, and they'll listen to us at the very late. We'll see you, but you'll just be listening to us. All right. I'm leaving. Okay, bye. Bye.

Story Pirates is the number one podcast for kids and families in the world and the newest edition to the Lemonada Media Network. We take stories written by real kids and turn them into sketch comedy and songs, featuring professional actors, famous guests, and original music. So get ready to light up your kids' imaginations with a show that you'll also enjoy. The Story Pirates podcast, new season coming November 6th.