Threedom - It Saves You One Button
Episode Date: December 26, 2024Lauren, Scott, and Paul discuss the Sunday funnies, Wikipedia, and New Year's Eve plans before playing Half Life. Send Threetures and emails to threedomusa@gmail.com.Leave us a voicemail asking us a q...uestion at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Listen ad-free and unlock bi-weekly THREEMIUMS on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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They called it the happiest place on the high desert, home to a tight-knit group of 30-somethings who like to party.
It starts as a Playboy Channel fantasy, but this is real life.
Where passion leads to murder and a killer seeks God's help with the cover-up.
I'm Josh Mankiewicz, and this is Deadly Mirage, an all new podcast from Dateline. Listen to new episodes for free each week,
wherever you get your podcasts.
Hi, I'm Reshma Sajjani, founder of Girls Who Code.
Look, I'd consider myself a pretty successful adult woman.
I've written books, founded two successful nonprofits,
and I'm raising two incredible kids.
But here's the thing, I still wake up wondering, is this it?
And if the best years are yet to come,
when's that gonna start?
Join me on My So-Called Midlife,
my new podcast with Lemonada Media,
where we're building a playbook for navigating midlife,
one episode at a time.
Each week, I'll chat with extraordinary guests who've transformed their midlife crisis into
opportunities for growth and newfound purpose.
At some point, we all ask ourselves, is there more to life?
I'm here to discover how to thrive in my second act right alongside you.
My so-called midlife is out now,
wherever you get your podcasts.
Freedom!
Ha!
Yah!
The Dean's Grave!
Freedom!
And we're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna,
we're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna,
Freedom!
Oh my God, I'm hard. That was normal.
It was normal.
It was normal.
What can I tell you?
It's normal.
It's just there are things that are normal and there are things that are not normal. And that was normal. What can I tell you? It's normal. It's just, there are things that are normal and there are things that are not normal.
And that was normal.
And that's why we say it was.
And what do we say?
Normal.
It's important to call out normality when you see it.
Because we're not, it also helps you know when things are weird.
Exactly.
Because we have to go, that was normal.
If you thought that was weird, you were wrong.
Sometimes something is weird and you can't say it because it's so weird, you're scared.
And also it's rude to say something's weird. So instead we should just say things are normal.
Normal, that's normal. And then the thing that we don't say is normal we know is weird.
That's normal. Yeah, you don't have to say it.
And it's not rude not to say it, even though everyone understands the rule.
Yes. Yes. Thank you.
And that's also normal. Thank you.
This show is normal. And what we're doing now.
This show is normal. It's normal.
Welcome to Freedom, which is a normal podcast.
And a normal name for a podcast.
Do you know who's not normal?
Who?
Nermal.
That's right.
He's so cute.
Nermal.
It's not normal.
What was the girl cat?
We've been through this before, trust me.
Girl cat on Garfield?
I always think Nermal was the girl cat.
Girl cat on Garfield is
Normal yes, you know a normal no, this is AI overview. We've done this
I always look at a overview. Even when I know what it's telling me is bullshit I have switched over to Duck Duck Go. What's that? It's not Google?
That is a search engine that is not Google.
Duck Duck Goose.
Wait, that's crazy.
I've never even...
You didn't pronounce the last...
Since the days of Bing.com, I have not...
Or Ask Jeeves.
I haven't really considered searching for a...
They fucked up Google so bad.
It's so bad.
By the way, if you're a sponsor, we apologize.
We love you, Google. Thank you.
Google is my dadda.
But no, Arlene is a female Pinkford cat with thick eyelashes,
large DSLs, and a gap between her two front teeth.
What the fuck?
To let that dick in?
Why did you say that?
That's not normal.
That's not normal.
It's not even normal.
It's Arlene.
We would just say that's Arlene.
When something's not normal, you say it's Arlene.
That's Arlene. This show is Arlene. Whenlene when something's not normal you say it's our that's our lead
This show is Arlene when you were a kid. Did you think our field?
Did I think he was funny? Yeah, so I think I've talked about this I
one of my one of my
Expected to be such like a politicians answer now. I've addressed this before
I've talked about my dream of going down to the supermarket and buying cool whip and chocolate chips, of course
But I also I thought that was a thing that you did you ever actually have it? I talked about my dream of going down to the supermarket and buying Cool Whip and chocolate chips.
Of course.
But I also had-
Wait, I thought that was a thing that you- did you ever actually have it before us?
I thought it was your birthday.
No, no I never-
We made that dream come true for you?
Yes, you made it-
You never had it?
I never had it.
Wow.
Whoa, we're amazing.
Yeah, I love us.
But-
We're awesome.
My other dream was to save up enough money to buy-
We're not Arlene.
To buy a Garfield book.
I'd ride my bike down to Mervyn's.
Mervyn's.
And buy a Garfield book because anytime I would be in there
with my mom, they would have a stack.
There was a table devoted to Garfield
because it was the 80s.
Yeah.
And.
Yeah, I definitely had Garfield comic,
like, you know, those big, those books
that have all the comics.
Yeah, the Compendium.
And I loved that.
And we had Far Side.
We had a lot of Far Side, which was always great. We had Far Side. And we had Far Side, we had a lot of Far Side,
which was always great.
But the thing is, this is a Bloom County, we had that.
I don't know that one.
I don't think I ever thought it was funny.
I just, our paper, I don't believe carried it.
And it was a-
It was exotic.
It was a thing, I could tell it was a cultural thing.
Right.
And so when I would read it,
I would be sort of like catching up
and trying to solve for Garfield.
You know, I'd be like, what makes Garfield tick?
You know, to try to figure out his relevance in the cultural side.
You wanted to be part of the conversation.
It's actually crazy. He became so huge.
I mean, yeah, I like I went through a phase of loving Dilbert.
I thought Dilbert was like when I was in fifth grade, I thought that was so funny.
I don't know what I was getting out of it, because it's like I had.
Because you don't work in an office.
No, never did.
Dilbert was after my time because I was of,
by the time that came out,
I was of an age where I was not reading the funnies anymore.
Yeah.
Me either.
But I think when you're a kid,
it's like trying to figure out point of view.
You know what I mean?
Like, oh, I see.
This is a thing Dilbert would say.
Yeah.
Or this is the way Garfield would act.
I understand.
This fits into his canon.
You know, you're trying to figure out like comedic voice
or something like that.
I remember reading all of the comics,
even if I didn't like them,
I would just read the whole page.
Even Prince Valiant?
Even fucking Prince Valiant.
Oh yeah, I would read the whole thing.
Yeah.
I always hated, oh, who was that one guy I hated so much?
Drabble.
Funky Winker Bean.
I didn't like him.
Hagar the Horrible.
But the one who was like a Hollywood reporter or something.
Or like something like that.
I don't know, I don't think I ever understood
what was happening. That's after our time, I believe.
Yeah.
Or at least not in our local paper.
My grandmother would save all of the Sunday funny sections
for me.
So whenever I would see her every three months
or whatever, she'd be like,
do you want to go read the funnies?
Cause you know, there's nothing to do there.
I don't want to talk to you.
Well, yeah, there's nothing to do there.
Oh, whoa.
Okay, wait, I just remember it from looking at a list.
She also has an exceptional geographic.
So I would try to look for titties.
Baby blues.
I always liked that one.
Do you remember that one?
No.
It was like parents with young kids.
I do remember it, but it was, that was like when I was-
That was out of my local paper.
14, 15, let's see.
When was baby blue, when did baby blues start?
Doonesbury.
Doonesbury, is that the guy you hated?
I think it was one of them.
I don't know what he did for a living.
I remember reading Doonesbury and not really getting it,
but still enjoying it.
I never got it. I didn't know what was going on. living. I remember reading Doonesbury and not really getting it, but still enjoying it. I never got it. I didn't know what was going on.
I remember like checking out Doonesbury collections from the
library and trying to figure it out too. And going like,
what is it? I did.
This little boy trying to crack the code.
Baby blues by the way, started in 1990.
Wow.
Dilbert was 1989 to 2023. It was just done.
Oh my God. Congrats on a great run. Foxtrot. It was just done. Oh my God, congrats on a great run.
Foxtrot, that was always a funny one.
High and Lowest, you ever read High and Lowest?
Oh yeah.
And they had their friend who was just a straight up alcoholic.
His name was Thirsty, and he had like the cartoon red nose.
Oh good, did he have bubbles coming out of his mouth?
None of bubbles, but he was clearly drunk.
And were you ever into Calvin and Hobbes? Yeah, I loved Calvin and Hobbes.
So Calvin and Hobbes came out like probably when I was 13.
In 85.
85 is when it started?
That's what it said.
I don't think so.
You think I'm looking at a false article?
Don't worship false articles.
Calvin and Hobbes started, you're right, in 85.
I was, I remember.
Act more surprised. I was, I remember- Act more surprised, patriarchy.
I remember it though, I feel like I remembered it
when I was 13, weird.
Anyway-
How old were you, dear?
I was 15.
Okay, that's fine, you still like comics.
No, I just remember, I have, for some reason,
I have a memory of reading it in it
that involves someone I knew when I was 13.
Was it a stuffed tiger?
Shit.
He's imagining things.
Shit.
But now it's led to a lot of people my age
naming their children Calvin.
Is that true?
There's a big, I know a few Calvins
and I think it's gotta be a big name.
Do you remember when Calvin and Hobbes
presented Fast and Furious?
Yeah. Yeah.
It was crazy because it was like,
what do these guys have to do?
But then there was a picture of them like driving the car together and it was like,
this makes sense. Yeah, I got it now. Yeah.
I came to Calvin Hobbs late, I think when it was,
when it was being collected and stuff and I really enjoyed it.
I remember reading it. I never really got into it, but it felt like a boy comic.
It felt like something that like my brother and his friends would like,
and I didn't really, you know what I'm thinking of Bloom County.
I just glanced at that.
Was that the one with the penguin or something?
Yeah, an opus.
Opus.
I don't remember what that was.
Okay, that started in the 80s.
That's what I'm thinking of because that was the,
I remember reading that and wondering
what socialized medicine was because it was kind of political,
you know? Yeah.
In the guise of a funny animal.
Yeah. A comic strip.
And I remember that was the first time I'd ever read socialized medicine.
And I remember the person that I'm having the memory of explaining to me
what socialized medicine was. So this does make sense.
And who was that person?
I don't want to say it was well, it was Nibe Levin's,
current prime minister of Canada.
By the way, it was Brenda Starr who was a reporter.
Brenda K. Starr!
I think in my mind it was like Hollywood.
I forgot about Brenda Starr.
And Basil St. John, her hot boyfriend.
And it was created for the Chicago Tribune,
which was the paper that I read it in.
Nice.
Brenda K. Starr is a singer songwriter.
Wikipedia is asking for my help.
Wikipedia still can't be sold.
We're sorry we've asked you a few times recently,
but it's Tuesday.
Would you put in a good word for us?
And our fundraiser will soon be over.
We're happy you consult Wikipedia often.
You don't know what I do.
If everyone reading this gave 275,
we'd hit our goal in a few hours.
If everyone reading this gave two shits, we'd be fine.
If Wikipedia gives you 275 of knowledge, join the,
that's crazy.
I honestly, I do use Wikipedia more
than almost any other website.
But do you think Wikipedia gives you $2.75 of knowledge?
But do you pay for knowledge?
Well, I mean, you used to- Through the nose.
I used to have encyclopedias and shit.
If Wikipedia gives you $2.75 worth of knowledge,
join the 2% who donate, whether it's $2.75 or $25. Join the 2% who donate. I honestly-
Whether it's 275 or 25.
I could afford to probably send it $8 million,
but I don't want to.
Wow, you can also click maybe later,
I already donated or close.
See, the maybe later,
maybe later is an issue
because it'll just keep popping up.
If I say I already donated, I'm a liar,
but I'm okay with that.
Do you think it'll come up and say you're a liar?
Well, there you go. Click. No, I'm'm okay with that. Do you think it'll come up and say you're a liar? Well, there you go.
Click.
No, I'm not okay with that.
I would think I would say close.
No, click, click I already donated and see what it says.
What if you-
Thank you for donating.
Now I feel like an asshole.
Yeah.
Your support means the world,
confetti popped out.
Your support means the world to us.
You don't deserve that confetti.
Will hide banners in this browser
Stolen power.
for the rest of our campaign.
I don't feel right about that.
And now I have to go donate.
Could you imagine if you-
I'm gonna give $2.75.
If there was a heaven and you got there
and they said you lied about donating to Wikipedia.
And they sent you to hell.
That's the only thing I've ever lied about.
So they wouldn't know.
It's crazy, but I just lied for the first time.
You should donate to Wikipedia.
I've never done that.
I'm going to do it.
I actually, I vouch.
I vow.
I know I said vouch.
Vouch safe. I vow to my couch.
I vouch to my couch.
I want to donate two dollars and seven dollars.
That's a plus more.
Plus more. Three dollars.
I might round up. I promise I will close.
I should give to Wikipedia because, yeah, I can.
Because Wikipedia gives to you.
I use a lot, too, but then you always go, wait, why?
Someone tell me.
Why does it cost money whereas other sites don't need my money?
What's happening there?
I guess because other sites have some sort of
revenue generating thing.
Yeah, they don't do ads or anything like that.
Yeah.
I think so.
Oh, why don't they just do ads?
Can you imagine?
That's a great question.
I would love a Wikipedia ad ad. I don't really mean that. Would love it. But why don't we just do ads? That's a great question. I would love a Wikipedia ad. I don't really mean that.
I would love it.
But why don't we all, every piss pig, donate $2 to Wikipedia?
Oh, we'll fix them.
Yeah, but this campaign closes it.
We're urging all piss pigs to donate $2 to Wikipedia.
What do you think is the, what's, yeah, what is the online resource that you use the most?
WikiFeet.
How's your score by the way?
It's gotta be 10.
You think it's a 10?
Five stars, babe.
You think you're a five star?
I think I'm a- She knows she is.
I've always been.
If it's gone down, I'd be shocked.
I mean, I've only given more new material.
That's wonderful.
Have we talked on Mike about the Uber ratings?
No, I don't think we have.
There's a text thread.
It's me, Lauren, Brian, Safie, and Arden, Marine.
Yeah.
And we talk about our Uber scores.
Thank you so much.
Congrats.
Thank you for verifying.
Beautiful feet is the peripatical next to it.
That's what that means, five stars.
So, Scott, they have WikiMen, I think.
I don't know if it's on the same one.
But as wiki men for are there female foot fetishes? There's gotta be.
I mean, it stands to reason, right? But you never hear about it. Yeah. I don't think, I mean, it seems like a male dominated fields. Oh, I'm sorry.
Okay. So listen, me, Paul, Brian, Safi and Arden Marine have a text
chain where for some reason
we started talking about our Uber rating.
That's the only thing we talk about because one of us figured out we were five stars.
I was five stars.
I think other people were doing well and then other people were shockingly low.
Now we check in from time to time.
My Uber rating is now 4.97.
I'm like, what did I do wrong? Here's the Uber rating is now 4.97.
I'm like, what did I do wrong?
Here's the thing.
Shit.
Mine's 4.84.
I fucking tip these guys every time.
I'm not asking them to do anything out of the ordinary.
I tip, I'm polite.
Yes.
I rarely ever question anything they're doing.
Yes.
Where's my rating?
I never select quiet preferred.
I do have that as my selection, but as a woman,
I think I just don't want to hear from you
about whatever your fucking thing is.
Of course, of course.
4.94.
Wow, pretty good.
What am I doing wrong?
Pretty good.
What problem do you guys have with that?
Also, I give five stars like it's-
Yes, that's another thing!
Like it's nothing.
I give them five stars no matter what.
I give them five stars.
I've had people that have not deserved the five stars.
I've had terrible drive-lifts that I've given all five stars.
I did not have five stars with that woman.
And I would give, I always give five stars.
I think it's, I don't even know, Sometimes I'm too afraid to give less than five.
Do they wait to see how you rate them before they rate you?
I don't think anyone can see anything that's happening.
But that's always my question.
And I feel like I've, I apologize
if I've talked about this before,
but I had an Uber ride to the Hollywood bowl,
which is if you're not from Los Angeles,
when there's a show at the Hollywood bowl.
It's a big bowl.
It's a large, like salad bowl.
There's like a ladle that moves you around.
Yeah.
It's a ride.
You get mixed up with oil and vinegar.
It's crazy.
It's croutons, it's crazy.
A giant eat you.
Yeah.
But so there's a lot of traffic.
It's very backed up.
And so, because there's no parking there,
I took an Uber once and my Uber driver
started arguing with me about the route to take.
And I'm like, you can go there
or you can do the one that your computer is selling you to.
It's still gonna take a million years to get there
because traffic is backed up.
And he started arguing going,
and then he started arguing with me
about why I took an Uber in the first place.
It's not your problem.
Like, you know, it's too busy. You shouldn't be taking...
So he doesn't want to have the job though?
It's like, if he's just in the traffic.
Yeah, if he's stuck in the traffic, then there's fewer rides he can then...
Oh, but wouldn't he get more money because it's taking so long?
Or no, it's based on distance.
Based on length? I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know, but he was very upset with me to the point to the point where I just like said, thanks, bye.
And I like got out of the car.
He just rolled out.
I just got out of the car, slammed the door and ran off into traffic.
And I've always felt like, OK, that's probably where my the ding on my rating came from.
OK, I've never done that.
And I've never had an argument with the driver.
Why do I not have five fucking stars? Oh, I've never done that. And I've never had an argument with the driver.
Why do I not have five fucking stars? Oh, yeah, I'm just remembering. I think it was
probably that guy in a Uber that hit another car. I got out and walked away because he
got in a car accident and then I just left. Yeah. Because that was weird. Yeah. Oh, also
I didn't I was a little in the inebriated after a concert this summer.
I was with Tall John and we both called Ubers at the same time and his came and mine didn't
and I never canceled that first one or I didn't know how to cancel it.
And so the guy was calling me and I still had to pay for it.
So I paid for it.
You could probably get Uber to reimburse you on that. calling me and I still had to pay for it. So, uh, so I paid for it.
You can probably get Uber to reimburse you on that.
Maybe, but I didn't even try because I knew it was my fault anyway, for being like not, not knowing what was going on.
Because you were drunk, you probably could have easily resolved that.
But also I was just like, I woke up in the morning going like,
I think I paid for an Uber.
It's like the movie Malice where the doctor was drunk.
Yes.
Yeah. Why didn't you guys share and just like, you know,
flight do two stops.
That's right, where the pilot was drunk.
Pilot was drunk.
What's that?
You guys could have shared and done two stops.
The movie Leaving Las Vegas.
We did share it.
We were going back to the same place.
But he called one at the same time.
Oh, I thought you were, you said yours never came.
I didn't know you met.
If I'm on a different channel.
Oh.
Look at these pictures of Lauren.
What are they?
Hey, close that tab.
Like, ew, get out of that tab, you perv ass.
What the fuck are you doing?
Delete.
Stop it.
Who are these people?
I don't wanna see any of this.
Those are famous people.
Those are famous people.
Famous people.
Delete and retreat.
WikiFeed is the most quickly updated site, though,
on the internet.
Like, you.
Like, if you had that fetish. If I did an Instagram story that included my foot,
that's on there.
Instantly.
Yeah.
They love it.
Wikipedia loves when somebody dies to get that was in there.
Oh my God.
I sometimes will hear about,
like I think there was some race driver or something.
I heard it like right when it happened,
I went on Wikipedia immediately to see it and it had been changed. I heard it like right when it happened. I went on Wikipedia
immediately to see and it had been changed.
I one time, I got to Wikipedia before to be changed.
My game, my game, my game.
Oh you spilled all over your shrimp.
My game, my game, my game.
No. Throw it in the trash.
Keep talking Paul.
I was very excited. I did the same thing and I was like, I haven't changed yet.
And then did you refresh?
I know before they do, I did not refresh.
I didn't want to kill my high.
Who are these Wikipedia ghouls who are like?
I think that's what they're called, the Wikipedia ghouls.
So donate to them.
Donate to the Wikipedia ghouls
who change the minute someone dies.
I love how I ignored the electronic devices
that got wet with my.
You were just upset about the game.
The box.
I'll buy it. I can buy a new phone. Who cares?
Who says that?
This game is irreplaceable.
Okay, so I did a character on Comedy Bang Bang that was based on this.
Based on Overdrive.
I don't know if we've talked about it on mic.
No, but we could during the best ofs, which by the way, the first episode...
You know what? Good point. Just came out on Monday and the second episode comes out today
But the the Paul and I hanging out for several hours going crazy. It's true
But the live ones are not included in the best of no, they're not no so but we but it knows if we kill time now
By talking about it. I want to hear
We had this guy who you know how
So we have to get a big u Uber because there's a bunch of us.
We're gonna go to the show from the hotel.
By the way, this was a big problem during the tour,
is calling the large Uber that says it's for six people.
And there would be five of us, and then they arrive
and they go like, how many of you are there?
Yeah.
Five of you, I don't know.
And then they have golf clubs in the back.
That guy was amazing.
They're like, well, I guess I could take down this seed
and try to, and it's like-
Why is that so cute?
Always an issue.
Always, and then there was-
You gotta be ready.
Then there was one guy with a big Superman car.
That car was insane.
It had Superman on it?
This, okay.
This is so hard to describe.
Because one guy came and was like, Oh, no, I only have room for three of you.
And I said, well, just cancel it.
Like I like I was. This was to go to the airport.
He's like, do you want to take two?
And I'm like, do I want to pay for two cars?
No. Cancel it, hon.
And send him off on his way.
Dings on your score.
I have a good score.
His best score than me, I've never done that.
I think he genuinely felt bad because he knew he was trying to cheat the system.
Yes!
By saying he was...
Anyway, so then the second guy shows up.
Jeep Grand Cherokee.
It's blast, he has speakers taking up seats that are blasting like loud
music.
His, his car is a tribute to Superman.
Yes.
Kobe Bryant.
Yes.
It says black mamba.
Maybe a little Michael Jordan in there.
Yeah. It has like a figure,
like a bobble head of Superman that talks.
Oh God.
She demonstrated for me.
I got to sit in the front seat.
Yeah.
And he demonstrated it for me.
This guy could not take five of us, by the way.
And we still, since this was the second car,
we were just like, fuck it, we'll squeeze in.
We crammed in there.
That's crazy.
It was fucking crazy.
He had four in the back seat?
Yeah, he was telling, yeah, something like that, yeah.
He had to move his speakers out of the way
in order to get one of us in.
He was telling us how special his car is.
He was saying that since he did all this to the car,
he technically should have taken his car
off of the XL category, but didn't.
And he lets the people decide.
That was my hope.
Let the people decide.
He shows up and he lets them decide whether or not
they wanna do what we did or be smart.
Yeah, yeah, I can't believe you guys did that.
We had to get to the airport.
We had to get to the airport as the second person.
That's crazy.
So this was a legitimate issue throughout the tour.
But then we, so then Paul to your guy in Utah.
It's so like city, we have this guy.
Okay, so you know how, if you get one of the bigger cars,
sometimes they have a, sometimes like the van door,
you just open it and it moves by itself. Sometimes you have to move it. And if you try to,
if you try to do it, there's always like a, don't, don't, no, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't.
This guy was the king. We were trying to like, like do the backseat, the backseat, those, those
backseats are never the same. And so we're trying to do it. He had this exact voice.
Don't touch that.
Don't touch that.
Let me do it.
I'll do it.
This guy hated us so much.
We get to the venue, and he drives past it,
because we're going to go in the stage door.
And Scott says.
And we're trying to say, oh, excuse me.
Could you take us to that door right there?
Because I know where we're supposed to enter.
And he's taking us to where all the people are entering.
And he's like, yeah.
It's closed.
Oh my God.
It's closed.
It's like, actually it's not if you-
It's closed.
If it's not, we're gonna knock on that door
and they'll let us in.
So he backs up and we get to the stage door
and he says, it's closed.
You see that, right?
We're like, just let us out.
You know what, I have to say like.
What do you care?
This is like such a minor version of this,
but I did something like that recently
where I was like, what am I butting in for?
I was in an elevator at a hotel
and then we were going up
and this guy got in on a high floor
and I said, oh, we're going up.
And then he just got up and got off on the next one.
But you know what I just realized?
He probably didn't know we were going.
I probably did fix it.
As I'm telling this, he probably pretended
that it was what he meant to do.
Right, which is what I would have done.
Yes.
I would have said, yeah, I know.
Oh yeah, I know.
I'm happy about it.
I love going there.
I literally went, why did I say anything?
It was my idea.
Why am I chiming in?
I don't know where anyone's going.
I don't care what anyone's doing.
But now I think he was trying to look like
he didn't make a mistake.
I was just at the airport now with my people
I was on tour with and we were talking about,
you know, when TSA pre was new.
And if you remember the promise of America,
we were talking about how if you have a pair of shoes
that you know will set off the thing,
you take off your shoes, even though it's TSA pre.
You know they're gonna make me walk back.
And in the early days, somebody behind you would be like,
you don't have to take your shoes off.
I know my shoes.
And we don't have to take our clothes off
to have a good time either.
We can just drink some cherry wine.
It's always a bit crazy when people are
controlling each other in the line.
Yeah.
Like where it's like, oh, we're even just saying like,
you need to do this, you need to do that.
Like, oh, you're supposed to take your laptop out
or just telling each other.
Like on one hand, it's kind of nice,
but on the other hand, you don't know what anyone's deal is.
You just don't know what they're dealing.
You don't know the troubles people are going through.
Let the people whose job it is to yell at you, yell at you.
Yeah, oh man.
That guy didn't get to yell.
Some airports, man, that Washington airport airport this time, I don't know.
What happened?
Oh, I don't know.
Just like waiting for people to like,
to put their luggage into the big lines of luggage.
Like some people were just like very peacefully waiting
to be told to put luggage into the big conveyor belt.
And then I was in the line behind people
where like every other line was moving really quickly
and then these people are, anyway, it's just.
You know, I'm already walking back what I'm saying
because I actually think I do some things like this.
And then I think, it's kind of nice.
The elevator one, as I'm telling the story,
I'm like, I think he actually, I think I was correct
that he didn't mean to be going up. Right.
But I think it's nice to say like, Oh no, this is going up for people because it's like,
why would you be going up?
It's the classic question going up.
Yeah.
Exactly.
I recently was at Target and I got very involved with chatting with people, which I probably
have mentioned on this show.
And I thought I ended up, I talked to them once because they were like asking the employee
where snow globes are. And I had just been shaking snow globes two seconds before and
I said oh they're two aisles over they're right there.
Because the person didn't answer right away and I just had seen them and then they were
like oh thank you and then they were looking at gingerbread houses and I was like they're
debating them and then I was like my family does this every year we do a competition with
the gingerbread house it's really fun it's a good it's good and then they said we're from Canada we've never been to Target and then I was like, my family does this every year. We do a competition with the gingerbread. It's really fun. It's a good, and then they said, we're from Canada. We've never
been to Target. And then I was like,
well, let me tell you about it.
Come to our house for Christmas.
Then one of my friends told me a story about, he was at the
airport and he was getting coffee
and he took the lid off to put like cream or sugar in
and he put it down sort of mouth side down the lid
and a woman next to him said,
you really shouldn't have, I'm sorry.
Like stopped herself.
Stopped herself from getting involved.
She was like, yeah, it's none of my business.
Yeah. Yeah.
Who am I to tell you?
I know.
It's a tough, you know, it's a fine line.
It's a fine line.
Because sometimes I don't mind if someone gives me
a tip that's helpful.
Yeah, absolutely.
I do find myself, I think,
I am very triggered by that kind of activity
from other people and I always kind of wondered why.
And then I, maybe a couple of years ago,
I had to spend a week at my parents' house
and I figured it out.
Yes.
Well, sometimes I really don't like being told,
I really don't like being told what to do.
Imagine your every instinct being dissected
and being told.
Much like you were trying to figure out Garfield.
You figured out why you are the way you are.
Oh, shit, we've had to take a break for a while.
Oh no, I just wanted to say.
Okay, we'll be right back.
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We're back. Waboosh. W're back.
Waboosh.
Waboosh.
We're back.
That I sometimes really don't like being told what to do.
I sometimes really don't like it.
I sometimes Michael be like,
it'll be something like he'll notice that I'm wasting time.
Yeah. He's like, you should just go to bed.
And you should just.
I should just go to bed.
I'm not going to come back. No, I know what I'm going to do. But I got like. oh, I should just go to bed. I'm not going to, I'm not, no,
I know when I'm going to go to bed.
Yeah.
I got like,
I'm setting up putting in one minute and 30 seconds
in the microwave, just put in 90.
It saves you one button.
Yeah.
It saves you one button.
That'll save years taping at most buttons.
It saves you one button.
But yeah, sometimes I'll fight back
on things that are just logical.
And I'll just go, I don't want you to tell me to do that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's just dumb.
I just want to live my life sometimes.
I have that sometimes with Janie where she offers me an alternative to something I'm
going to do and I'm like, I'm fine to do it the way I'm going to do it.
I'll do it wrong.
Yeah, that is an option, but unnecessary.
Yeah, I'm not going to do that.
I'm just going to plow into that group of old people.
Well, it did. It did happen when I was learning to drive and I was driving learning to drive.
And it ain't that hard. Okay. I was driving her car and she was in the passenger seat and she's
very, very nervous. She's very nervous, still is no matter whose card it is.
But I was, we were approaching our house, the house we were in at the time, and
we're getting close to the driveway and she's saying, she's been like nervous and critiquing
my driving for this whole trip. That's hard on both sides.
like nervous and critiquing my driving for this whole trip. That's hard on both sides.
Yes, that's hard on both sides.
Because the relationship between you is not one of teacher mentor,
it's meant to be one of equals.
Exactly.
And yet in this situation, she is unfortunately in an instructional mode.
It's very true.
And so as I was turning, I was about to turn in the driveway,
she was saying, slow down, slow down.
And I said, it's fine.
And then I plowed right into the curb.
And I mean, it was bad.
It was bad.
And the car went into the shop and all that.
I had to like, in a moment sitting there,
because it was so loud.
What did she just say?
And I, she didn't say anything,
and I put on like a calm voice and I said,
I apologize, you were right.
That's good.
And I should have listened to you.
Oh, see, that's nice.
I don't think I would, I think I'd have too much pride
to say that.
I had no choice.
I said, you distracted me.
There was a-
Don't you think I wanted to say that?
When it's a very obvious, I told you so moment,
sometimes it just is so great just to not say anything.
You just go-
Oh, you don't have to, exactly.
My friend once was driving over
by the aforementioned Hollywood bowl
and it just started raining and he was speeding so fast.
You know how slick it gets when it first starts raining.
And I was like, you have to slow down.
You have to slow down. Please, I don't feel safe right now. You I was like, you have to slow down. You have to slow down.
Please, I don't feel safe right now.
You have to, if you don't slow down,
like I'm going to ask you to like let me out.
And he crashed into a car.
Jesus.
And you know, it's one of those like-
Stationary or moving?
Like moving, just kind of like slid around
and crashed into a car.
Fuck.
Oh my God.
And I was just like, dude.
God, that sucks.
That sucks so bad.
I know.
Especially in the rain.
I know.
You have to fucking get out of the car
and deal with the insurance and all that shit.
Yeah, I once hydroplained into someone.
I was, all my three accidents happened when I was 16.
And I hydroplained into somebody at a stop sign
or stop light.
And then she was really upset because it was her boss's car.
That's my memory of that.
Really?
Boss's car?
Yeah.
And she was stealing it.
Probably.
She was like, no, they're gonna find me.
I don't freaking know.
I couldn't control it though.
I was just gliding and going like,
that's what's gonna happen now.
And then you got a trading card from the cops.
That was probably around the time that I got that.
Yeah.
I wish I had that. Yeah.
I wish I had that. I know it's in a box somewhere.
I know it's in a box somewhere.
I hope you find it someday.
I hope you, I want to see this.
If I go through my old memory boxes
sometime in the next couple years.
Memories, press between the pages of body and mind.
Reminds me of from Big.
Memories, he's singing to his mom
to prove that he has Josh Baskin in his. Right, right, right. Like the corners of my mind, I'm supposed to go from big memories. He's singing to his mom to prove that he has Josh Baskin.
Right, right, right.
Like the corners of my mind,
I swoon through my memories.
He's like, oh, I'm embarrassed.
Wait, he's trying to prove that he has Josh Baskin?
Because he's basically saying he's a kidnapper
calling the mom saying, I have your son, he's fine.
He can't get on the phone.
That's an insane part of that movie.
Yeah, because this woman is having like-
That movie is insane.
Hell for months.
Where she thinks her kid's been like-
And then the happy ending is he just comes home is like in big clothes,
which is really creepy.
It's a movie that the kidnapper made me wear these.
It seems like it's a family movie, but it is not,
but it's still one of the best movies.
Oh, it's great.
Yeah.
But, but, but, and, and what I do like about it is yes, if this were true,
he would have to allay his mother's fears somehow,
but that wouldn't allay her fears calling up as a kidnapper.
She's better off just thinking that he ran away for months.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know. It's yeah.
Running away would be the thing you'd want to say. I ran away. And I don't know.
Like mom, I'm okay. I ran away. But he doesn't. He has an old,
but he has a grown man's voice. He can't talk. Right. So he gets another kid.
He should have gotten yes, because his little friend was there.
He should have gotten his friend to do it.
But if his friend knows, then everyone's not going to let that go.
That's a good point.
Well, no, the friend should have just said like, yeah, he told me he was going to run away.
The night before, he said he was moving to Las Vegas.
Who was that? Was it Mercedes Ruehl was the mom?
Who was the mom? I don't know her name.
Elizabeth Perkins was the lady was it Mercedes Ruehl was the mom? Who was the mom? I don't know her name.
Elizabeth Perkins was the lady he bones down with.
Yes, that she,
It was almost somebody else.
She commits statutory rape unknowingly.
Some facts about that at one point.
It's magical statutory rape.
Different rules for magic.
Yep.
Now Paul and Lauren are both on their phones.
Robert De Niro was originally cast in Big,
but the role eventually went to Tom Hanks.
What?
Yeah.
Can you imagine him dancing around on the piano though?
He later dropped out due to scheduling conflicts.
Good.
But Tom Hanks is so perfect in that.
Jesus Christ.
It's crazy.
Can you imagine Robert De Niro trying to act
like a little boy inside a grown man's body?
It would be grotesque.
Yeah.
I mean, he's been.
Jesus Christ.
He's been 50 since he was six.
Yeah, it would be a very intense.
Mercedes Ruehl played Mrs. Baskin.
Good for her.
Good for her.
Okay.
One of the great car named actresses.
True.
Up there with Cadillac Jones.
And right up there next to Prius Magoo.
That's a good babe.
Are you guys, so Lauren, you're in town for New Year's Eve.
I am.
You're staying in LA.
Am I?
So am I.
Yeah, what are you doing, Paul?
Sometimes we're in town, sometimes we're not.
Sometimes you're back.
Almond Joy's got nuts, Mounds don't because...
Sometimes you feel like...
We will be back on the 30th.
Wow.
That'll be so special to have New Year's Eve
knowing we're all in our own homes doing nothing.
Not talking to each other.
I love that.
We can text, we can have a text chat.
Give me in the bathroom.
What's it got in this? It's a text chain. Get from me in the bathroom with a cigar in this.
Let me ask you this.
Do you bother staying up till midnight?
Not anymore.
I think we have, kids have thrown that off a little bit.
I think this year I'd like to try, but we'll see.
I always do.
Jane, you're supposed to sleep.
I like to watch the ball drop, okay? I like to see that happen. I don't really care. Hey, I'm a weird Jane, you're falsely but I do. I like to watch the ball drop, okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I like to see that happen.
I don't really care.
Hey, I'm a weirdo, who cares?
I like to see this thing.
I like to see the ball drop.
I don't like to see it happen.
Don't touch that ball.
In my time zone, not there.
Don't touch that, it's a new year.
I don't care about the ball drop.
I like to watch the Twilight Zone marathon.
But I like to hear the sounds
Of people.
Of people yelling Happy New Year. Yeah, it's really cute. We people, of people like yelling, happy new year.
Yeah, it's really cute. We get the fireworks.
Yeah, I know fireworks. Fireworks are now, by the way, they've stopped. It's stopped
being holiday specific. It's Tuesday at one o'clock. It's nothing. Yeah.
Yeah. It's like when, when daylight savings time happens. Fireworks!
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Any excuse. When the Dodgers won, I get it. Yeah. I
understand that. I get it. The local sporting event. Fourth of July? Sure. Yeah. Christmas? I don't
think so. Halloween? Yeah. Come on guys. Yeah. That's a bit much. Yeah. But um. Isn't Halloween
scary enough without the threat of fireworks? I think the fact that Emmy doesn't know what shit it is,
is like, why would we, you know what I mean?
She's gonna wake up when she's gonna wake up.
So why would we punish ourselves by staying up?
No, I mean, that is the truth.
I would be very tired the next day.
And so maybe it's not worth it.
Yeah, maybe it's not worth it.
But I'm often awake at midnight dealing with somebody.
What do you mean?
Last night, Holly wanted water at midnight.
Oh I see, someone in your family.
Yeah.
No, I just like, I just.
Holly wants water in the middle of the night?
At midnight she came into my room to get water,
which is very precarious because I'm sleeping in the room
with the baby and then she waking her up by saying,
I want my water.
And I'm like, shh, no talking.
I'll go get it. So we're still in the stage where Emmy is in a crib her up by saying, I want my water. And I'm like, shh, no talking.
So we're still in the stage where Emmy is in a crib and can't get out and doesn't quite know how to open doors.
Yeah, I think you want to wait as long as possible.
Yeah, because I-
We did it when I think around her third birthday.
Do you think she'll learn like the Velociraptors?
I don't know.
I'm hoping she never learns how to open doors.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Can you give Holly like a sippy cup
that she can keep by her bed?
Yeah.
She usually has milk.
And then I bet she wanted water as well.
And then so now I think I will set it up.
I'm also about to get her a big kid bed, a twin bed.
Oh my god, could you imagine?
A wet bar in your kid's bedroom.
She should have that.
Are you going to give her a bed shaped like something
or just a bed?
No, just a bed because I want it to be like a long-term bed.
And so I'm getting her a twin bed,
but then that means she'll have a little table next
to her bed where I'm gonna have her.
Yeah, yeah.
I slept in a twin bed for a long time.
Yeah. I did too. Yeah, I did too. I remember when I got a double, I think I was in a twin bed for a long time. Yeah. I did too.
Yeah, I did too.
I remember when I got a double,
I think I was in high school.
Now I can't even sleep in anything that's not a king.
Or at least a queen.
Like a queen when we're on tour,
I'll be all right if I'm by myself.
Yeah, queen by yourself.
I know some couples who sleep in a queen.
Who are you taking on tour with you?
If you meet someone at the show.
Yeah, road beef.
Road beef, yeah.
Ew.
I knew one couple.
The littlest ew.
I knew one couple that shared a queen bed
and they preferred that.
They preferred it.
Cause they're all over each other.
You know who prefers it?
Animals.
I'll tell you who prefers it.
Couples on TV.
There's always queen beds on TV.
Yeah, cause it just looks better.
Yeah.
It's easier to get them in the shot, I guess.
Yeah. And it doesn't look so massive.
It's so funny when like Mr. Big on Sex and the City,
who's like this wealthy guy had this tiny little bed.
Right.
He's a big dude.
Yeah. Mr. Big, he was rich.
It's kind of his whole thing.
Yeah.
Never seen it.
Scott hasn't, I mean, so I,
you want to do Scott hasn't seen it. So you wanna do Scott hasn't seen
with the Sex and the City movies?
I've seen the first movie.
So you would know that he's rich then, dear.
Yeah, honey.
Does he flaunt his wealth in that?
I don't really know. If you don't get that he's rich,
you're not watching the movie.
But everyone seems rich on their wedding day
because there's limos and everyone's in a tuxedo.
That's a great point.
Are you telling me he dressed like that every day? Everybody seems rich on their wedding day. Cause there's limos and everyone's in a tuxedo and stuff. That's a great point. Are you telling me he dressed like that every day?
Everybody seems rich on their wedding day.
That is a great point.
No, no.
And the whole movie took place on the wedding day.
Yeah.
Did it?
It was in real time.
No, it didn't.
I don't remember it, honey.
Watch it again.
Scott doesn't remember.
No, thank you.
And what was it, was that the one where he would get
on the couch with his shoes on or something?
He did, I don't know.
He would do something. Just like that. Was that a thing people were upset get on the couch with his shoes on or something? He did, I don't know. He would do something, and it's like nobody would do that.
Was that a thing people were upset about, or just was a?
That was a thing that she was upset about.
He would get on the couch with his shoes?
He would come home from work
doing whatever fucking evil job he did.
It's his couch though, right?
You know he can't have been a good person.
No!
And then he would relax on the couch in his suit, take his jacket off, but it'd still be in this suit shirt.
No one wants to do a full Mr. Rogers every day of their life and change into a sweater.
He better get home and put on his sweatpants.
Well, I do.
And yes, I have a bunch of puppets in my house.
Yeah.
All right.
We have to take a break. We'll be right back.
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Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
we're back back back back back back back back back back back
back back back back back back back back back back back back
back back back back back back back back back back back back
back back back back back back back back back back back back
back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back Does that really distract batters? Hey, badda badda, swing badda. If you were, I think it would.
Hey, swing badder.
Yeah, I think it would be distract.
Swing.
Oh, maybe I should swing, that person told me to.
That's Cameron from Ferris Bueller.
That's right.
Swing badda.
You have to train yourself to say
that is what I'm going to do when I'm going to do it.
When I'm ready, I'll swing, sir.
I'm not, I'm going to swing, but not when they say what I say.
It'll be based on my muscles and my eyes.
My judge of where the ball is going.
Hey, I wanted to play a three-trigger, but I didn't know what it was.
Are you kidding me? I know what it is.
You still don't know what it is? I don't know.
Scott. Why don't we play Half-Life? It's the game where every scene gets half the amount of time
and every time you do it. Hey, what do you think you're doing?
I'm sorry, were you going to intro it? Paul loves to intro it. I intro the concept first.
Are you out of your mind? You out of your goddamn mind.
Everybody, I'm so sorry.
Let me explain what's happening.
A freedom, now look what you've done.
A freedom is a what?
A freedom is a podcast you're listening to right now.
It's also known as a preamble to a buster.
The podcast is a preamble to the buster, yeah.
Oh dear.
Three True is a game that we like to play.
It's also known as a buster.
Take it away, Lauren.
So the buster we're going to play is called Half Life.
And this game is where you start
with a two minute improv scene,
and then you do it again in one minute,
and then 30 seconds, and then 15 seconds,
and then seven and a half seconds, and then three seconds.
Probably eight, then four, then two, then one. I guess that'd then Two than one I guess we should do six
Did you say eight? I don't care. We're not gonna do it eight minutes scene are we?
Eight seconds because you can't have you can't do a seven and a half second. You're right
All right, let's do two minutes ready, okay, here we go
Candy for sale peppermint candies for sale. What type of candy say you?, peppermint candies for sale, peppermint candies for sale.
Wait, how much is the candy?
Each candy is one dollar and each little candy that breaks off is 50 cents.
How do you determine which one is a candy and which one is broken off?
Well, you see the candies are in the wrapper. The broken ones are the ones I ate a little bit of.
What?
Is that sanitary?
It's not sanitary.
It's Santa's treat.
You got me.
Hey, you know how we're trying to collect her saliva to see
if she's guilty of that murder?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's get the broken ones because she's
tried to eat them and it'll have her deal.
Four broken ones, please.
That'll be $1 plus $1.
OK.
I didn't bring any money, I didn't bring any
money. I didn't bring any money either. What should we do? We're bad detectives. No money,
no candies. Well, is there anything you take a trade? Um, you could lick my boot and say
it tastes like slop. Okay, hold on. Let me put you on my TikTok. Okay, I don't want to
do that. Sarge is going to be really upset with us if we don't come back with his DNA.
Who cares? It's not that many murders.
I don't want to lick a boot.
28 murders.
And I'll put it on my TikTok.
And you'll put it on your TikTok? Is that a bonus?
Yes, a detriment.
You have a deal.
Oh, wonderful. Broken for you, broken for you, broken. Oh wonderful broken for you broken for you broken for you
I'm broken free. Let's get out of here. Oh, he's eating them
Okay, yeah, here we go that happened no no that happened here we go, let's lick it
You came back, thank you
Why are you licking them? What did you want us to do?
I overheard you saying something nefarious you wanted to do with it.
You overheard us?
Well, I know you were trying to catch me for the murders and you said you'd take the-
Oh, you did know about the murders.
Okay, look, if you heard us, let's just get this out of the way.
Did you do the murders or not?
Well, you licked the evidence, so now it's all tampered with.
No!
You murdered?
All right, that is the scene that we're going to replicate. And that's how you play- oh. So now it's all tampered with. No, you murdered? Your boot? Ah.
All right.
That is the scene that we're going to replicate.
And that's how you play.
Oh.
No, we got to replicate it now in one minute.
And go.
Candies for sale, candies for sale,
nice yummy peppermint candies for sale.
How much are your candies?
$1 for a candy and $0.50 for a broken off piece.
What kind of candy?
Peppermint candies for sale.
And what constitutes a broken off piece? The ones I've eaten are the ones that are broken off piece. What kind of candy? Peppermint candies for sale. And what constitutes a broken off piece?
The ones I've eaten are the ones that are broken off
and the ones I haven't are the ones that are candy.
Okay, hey, what do you think we should do?
Well, you know how we're trying to get her DNA?
Yeah.
She's eaten some of this candy.
So we should get the broken off ones.
Yeah, we should get the broken off ones.
Of a sliver.
Yeah.
We'll take some broken off ones, two each.
Okay, one for you, one for you, one for you,
and one for you, that's two dollars please.
Oh, I don't have any money.
Oh, what do we do?
What do we take it and trade?
I would let you lick my boot and say it tastes like slop
and I'll put it on my TikTok.
Okay.
Sarge is gonna be really upset if we don't do this.
We have to do it.
Yeah, I guess we have to do it.
But if it's on TikTok.
Okay.
Okay, here you go.
There you go.
Oh, I ran away, ran away.
Wait, why are you eating all the candy if you want to catch me for the murders? I have to do it. But if it's on TikTok. Okay. Okay. Here you go. There you go. Oh, I run away, run away.
Why are you eating all the candy?
You wanted to catch me for the murder.
Did you do the murders?
Did you do the murders or not?
I'm licking my boots.
Like you said.
I was wondering.
I always thought you were licking the candy.
No.
And I was like, you're ruining the evidence.
You were licking the boots.
You should have gotten low.
Oh, I see.
You should have gotten low. But I forgot to say it tastes like slop.
All right, here we go.
30 seconds.
Candies for sale.
What kind of candies?
Peppermint candies.
How much are they?
They're $1 for a peppermint candy
and 50 cents for the broken off piece.
What constitutes the broken ones?
The ones that I've eaten are the broken off piece.
Let's get the broken off one.
Okay, you know how we have to get the DNA.
Okay, yeah, we'll take four.
Okay, two dollars, please.
Okay, we don't have any money.
Did you bring your wallet?
No, no, no.
Okay, okay. You can lick my boot and say it tastes like slop and I'll put it on my TikTok. Okay, it's hard to be really upset if you don't do this. Okay, let dollars, please. We don't have any money. Did you bring your wallet? No. Okay, okay.
You can lick my boot and say it tastes like slop
and I'll put it on my TikTok.
Okay, it's hard to be really upset if you don't do this.
Okay, let's do it.
Okay, let's do it.
Oh, and why are you reading all the evidence?
The evidence of the murder was in my boots.
Did you do the murder or not?
This tastes like slop.
I got the evidence on my boots.
Perfect.
All right, wonderful.
Now 15 seconds and go.
Candies for sale.
What kind?
How much?
Peppermint candies, $1 for the peppermint.
What constitutes the broken-up?
Two, please.
The ones I've eaten and you get two.
Okay, we need your DNA.
Okay, four.
You don't mean any?
You lick my boot and say it tastes like slop.
We didn't bring any money.
Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.
Did you do these murders or not?
Obviously I did.
It tastes like slop.
All right, eight seconds and go. Candies like slop. All right.
Eight seconds and go.
Candy for sale.
How much?
One dollar for dinner.
One constitute.
Okay, two for you.
That's okay.
No money.
Okay, let me look at it.
Did you do these murders or not?
You betcha.
All right, four seconds and go.
Candy for sale.
Hey, slur.
Did you do it?
Yeah, yes I did. That was long. All right, two seconds.ice for sale. Did you do it? Did you do it? Yeah, yes I did.
That was long.
That was long.
Alright, two seconds.
Candice for sale.
Let's do these murders.
Let my boots you pieces of slop.
One second.
Candice for sale.
Taste like slop.
Taste like slop.
That was a long second.
I think he started late.
That was a long second.
Oh boy.
That was fun.
It was fun.
I had fun and I liked you guys having fun too. We did it
I enjoyed it. Hey look, I like to have fun
I make no bones about that too. What do you consider fun?
Fun, that's no fun
Isn't that what she says? Fun natural fun. Natural fun. Oh natural fun. Like what do you mean natural fun?
Yeah, I don't it sounds dirty to me. Like sex That's probably what she means. That's the most natural thing is sex.
She's a freak.
She's a freak in the sheets.
And on the streets.
Can you imagine somebody being a freak on both?
Oh my God.
They need to relax sometimes.
Yes.
Too much freakiness.
Well, it was a great time, wasn't it?
Yeah, we had a great time with everyone this week.
I'll never forget this.
I'll never forget this time we shared, except when I leave right now.
And then I'll forget everything.
Listen, everybody. Thank you so much.
If you would like to send us a three-chart.
This is our last. Oh, yeah. Go ahead.
Tell us about whatever you want to talk about.
If you like to send us a three-chart, please write to us at freedom USA
gmail.com send us a party game, a card game, something like that that we can play.
And if you would like to leave us a voicemail,
a question-
Not a card game, by the way.
Good catch.
If you'd like to leave us a voicemail question
that we can answer for our three million episodes,
which we do every other Wednesday.
The three million episodes, we did one yesterday.
Yes.
Special Christmas themed one.
You can write to us at, no,
you leave us a voicemail at freedomusa.gmail.com.
Buy a computer. God damn it.
We gotta make sure that people know they can't just go to a website.
Like to like what walked to this website.
Hag claims eight.com is where you leave us a voicemail.
Hag claims eight.com. First of all, it's all about, it's such a weird story,
but there was a witch who killed-
A real hag.
Who killed eight children.
Yeah.
And-
It's good you made them children in the story.
Well, I mean, that's what witches-
It's true, they hate kids.
You know what I mean?
They hate kids.
Yeah, they hate kids.
Killed eight children, and she started a website about it,
sort of a blog blog like a personal blog
yeah web blog and anyway then the website got passed down to us and we use
it to collect your three males much like she collected children we're redeeming
it and did you say three males yeah three males but it's not for three males
it's for voicemails is good though right three males is good but three
males sounds like it's for email I I know, send us your ThreeMails to, what?
3dmushemail.com.
Yeah, 3dmushemail.com.
And send us your Throismails.
Yes, Throismails.
At HagClaims8.com.
And then also, like follow us on social media
because there's so much going on there.
And what were you gonna say the last episode before what?
Oh, this is the last episode of 2024.
Wow.
Hope you enjoyed it. Yeah, we had a- I can't believe the year's over. Can you imagine this is the last episode of 2024. Wow. Hope you enjoyed it.
Yeah.
I can't believe the year is over.
Can you imagine?
I can't either, we're rushed by.
This was our...
I'm almost dead.
Oh no.
I will say we're closer to death than we are to birth.
We're closer to death than we are to birth.
We're all family in the club.
We're probably in the club getting tipsy.
We're closer to death than we are to birth in the club.
In the club. Guysy. We're closer to death than we are to birth in the club. In the club.
Guys, have a great year.
Have a happy new year.
Make a lot of resolutions that you will keep.
Yes.
Don't make them if you can't keep them.
I was saying something nice to you.
I've had a great year doing the show with you guys.
And I expect that we'll do a few more next year.
And this has been a fun year. Next year we'll do a few more next year. Yeah. And this has been a fun year.
Next year we'll do three episodes.
Yeah, that'll be fun.
It's been a great year.
And when they're coming out, we don't know.
Can I say, I'm gonna say this, and this is sincere,
and you can call me cringe if you like.
Okay.
Cringe daddy.
I woke up today, I was tired.
Yeah. It's been a long year of trouble.
Which is bad when you wake up, you're like,
no, sleeping was supposed to solve this.
Supposed to cure the problem.
And I was like, I kind of wish we didn't have to record today.
Then I got here and I saw you guys and I had fun.
I'm glad that we're continuing to do this podcast.
I really enjoy it.
Thank you, I agree.
And I guess I'll say something cringe.
We'll make this a tradition. I was excited to come today because I like doing the show.
So there's that.
I like that Scott, you're up.
I mean, I started this off.
You already said one.
What was this?
That I enjoyed doing the show with you all year.
A little formal.
Formal?
Bye!
You guys weren't going to say shit.
Bye! Bye! Bye! Happy New Year! A little formal. Formal. You guys weren't going to say shit.
Bye!
Happy New Year!
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Hi everyone, Gloria Riviera here and we are back for another season of No One Is Coming to Save Us, a podcast about America's child care crisis. This season we're delving deep into five critical
issues facing our country through the lens of child care, poverty, mental health, housing, climate change,
and the public school system. By exploring these connections, we aim to highlight that child care
is not an isolated issue, but one that influences all facets of American life.
Season 4 of No One is Coming to Save Us is out now wherever you get your podcasts.