Threedom - It Wouldn't Even Smell as Sweet

Episode Date: March 6, 2025

Paul, Scott, and Lauren discuss makeup, neighborhood updates, and soda rules before playing The Band Game. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Listen ad-free and unlock bi-weekly THREEMIUMS on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, Georgia. Hi, David. What do you think the world needs more of? Well, the world always needs more podcasts. Didn't you used to have a podcast? Not only did I used to have a podcast, Georgia. It's coming back! David Tennant does a podcast with.

Season 3 is coming at ya! Okay, and who are your guests? Who are my guests? What about Russell T. Davis? What about Jamila Jamil? What about Stanley the Tooch Toochie? So it's really just you hanging out with your mates then? Yeah.

Come join me. David Tennant does a podcast with. Bye. Every week on Talk Easy with Sam Fragoso, I'm Sam Witherway, I invite an actor, author or filmmaker to come to the table and speak from the heart in ways you probably haven't heard them on the record before.

Some of my favorites are with Tom Hanks, Margaret Atwood, and Pedro Pascal. In recent weeks, I sat with Joaquin Phoenix, Mikey Madison, and Jesse Eisenberg, and only two of them gave me a panic attack. New episodes come out every Sunday morning, wherever you get your podcasts. Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom!

Freedom! Freedom! The most annoying start to any podcast. I almost made it the whole way. It's definitely one of the worst. Why does anyone listen to us? Because we're so fun.

I honestly had that thought today. Why does anyone listen to this show? Maybe we're in an alternate dimension of our own devising. I think it's fun. You don't think it's a fun show? Well, I think it's fun because I love the sound of my own voice. And I guess I like you guys. But if compared to the sounding of your own voice, we pale.

Come on. Apples and oranges. pale. Come on, apples and oranges. What? Do you like apples and oranges? When people say like, this is like apples and oranges, I go, yeah, great. Do you think we should start having a celebrity guest? Yum. Like people meant that. It's like apples and oranges.

Do you guys think we got to get a celebrity guest in here? Why? Just to like, make it worth listening to? Worth listening to? Wouldn't that be crazy if we had like, a celebrity guest every week where it was like, an expert in something and they were trying to- And we had to like, listen to them talk and stuff?

We were trying to get smarter by listening to them or something? Are we the, one of the last of the No Hook podcasts? Last of the No Hook podcasts! You know what, there are new ones popping up really where people just chat. Yeah No, and some of them are getting huge Well, like who surprising well, we're not a bunch of girls putting on glam with video cameras on us And I think that's a big problem. I wanted to talk to you So if you guys would do your hair and makeup,

I'll do mine too. And we'll just have cameras on. And we should all do each other's. I was just going to say, yes, we give each other a makeover every episode. How do you, honestly, like if, if I were to come over to your house and you had a big event that night, I can't imagine anything worse than you coming at my face with a brush. And you just said like, Scott, do my makeup for this event tonight. Why would I say that?

Just like, just to see because of this podcast and everyone want us to do it. I would never ever allow that. Do you think I would do a good job? No. I think you would do a terrible job. I wouldn't even know what to start with. Do you start with powder? I guess base? No.

What do you think base is? I don't know, but it's all about it. What do you think you put on first? I know that all your base are belong to us. You put on toner? Foundation? I don't know. Foundation, foundation.

Yes, foundation. Foundation. Which is clear. It's anonymous with base. Then you do your contouring. Sure. So he knows more about it than me. Contouring would come really before a lot of the foundation. Which is clear. It's anonymous with base. Then you do your contouring. Sure. So he knows more about it.

Contouring would come really before a lot of the foundation. Lauren, we have to do this, or I like make you up once. I don't do contouring myself though, so I never really know what order they're doing those things. But powder is the finishing thing.

So it takes off the shine. Yeah, mm-hmm. Yeah. And kind of solidifies it so that it doesn't move. Here's how we do it. You put out every single product you have, regardless of if it's doubling up or anything like that onto a counter. And then I'll come over to your house and just guess it, what I do.

And then we'll take a picture of the after. Here's what I would allow. And then I get a turn. Yeah. I want, I want this to all happen, but to like cool off or something. I don't want it to happen to me. I want to do all happen, but to like Cool Up or something. I don't want it to happen to me. I wanna do it to you. She's Cool Up's not part of the show. I definitely wanna see this happen to someone else.

Cool Up doesn't need makeup. Well, I know. She's naturally gorgeous. But no, I think it would be a funny challenge. Cause I don't know anything about it. No, it would be a disaster. No, I mean, it's funny. We could do a quiz where I try to,

I tell you about pieces of makeup things and you tell me what you would do with it. Why are you avoiding what the best idea is? I don't want you near my face. You don't want Scott to touch your face a lot? No. I'll tell you what. I don't want him to come to my eye with a big.

Tell you what, tell you what. I'm not saying this correctly, you don't want him to touch your face a lot. I'll tell you what I'll do. We'll have like an AI head there that I do, I apply everything to, and then there's a robot replicating what I'm doing. That sounds good.

So the robot's hands are coming towards your face. That sounds fine. And not mine. That sounds fine. That does sound a little scary. Yeah, and it sounds cheaper. Yep. Do you know, I may have mentioned this before, but I pride myself on when I'm getting my

makeup done for a show. That cometh before a fall, by the way. But wait until you hear what I have to say. I pride myself on being able to look up for when I put the makeup under my eye and not blink. Yeah. Yeah. And I longed for someone to compliment me on it. I used to not blink forever with eye makeup. Like they'd be putting like mascara and stuff.

And I would just I loved I also prided myself on it. And at a certain point, I just stopped caring about being someone who doesn't blink. I was like, well, what do I need to what am I trying to prove? I have to blink. I I was the same way. You're trying to make it easy, easy palette or easy canvas. You'd go onto a different show that like you're doing one day on or something, like after midnight or whatever. And you're sitting there waiting for a compliment of like,

oh, you've been in the chair a lot. Like you know what to do, you know, to look up, you know what I mean? And like when it doesn't happen. You just feel like, you know, that I've been in the chair a lot, like you know what to do, you know to look up, you know what I mean? And like when it doesn't happen. You just feel like, do you know that I've been in the chair a lot? Oh, well you've certainly been in the chair a lot. I suppose you've worked a lot. And that's how you ended up here. I don't think it's a compliment

because I think they're surprised that you're not a complete rube. I think they're looking at someone like, oh, you have worked before. Oh, you get your makeup done a lot. They're looking at me saying like, oh, you're not a complete rube. I think they're looking at someone like- Like, oh, you have worked before. Oh, you get your makeup done a lot. They're looking at me saying like, oh, you're not naturally handsome, so you would never be in things.

But once I'm done with you, you'll be a leading man. I'm gonna contour the shit out of this face. Welcome to Freedom, everyone. Welcome to Freedom, I'm Paul. I'm Lauren. I'm Lauren. I'm Scott. Just own it. Yeah, I know.

You are, you are. I am, I am. That's who you are. I don't know why I was so ashamed. And you need to own it. There was a comic that I knew in Philly a million years ago who we were talking about doing theater in high school and he had not done theater in high school.

You wanna do theater in high school now? Why? Dear, did you hear me say a million years ago? No, apparently he didn't because he was busy texting his girlfriend. I wasn't texting, I was looking at what... Oh! Honey, the gig's up. The jig's up too. The gig and the jig. The jig's up too. The jig and the jig. The jig is up.

And he was saying he never did theater in high school because he thought the makeup was gay, but he didn't use the word gay. And he's like, I don't understand why you have to wear the makeup. And I said, well, because there's lights on you. There's like bright lights on you. And he was like, and he was like prepared for this. Like I have bright lights on me all the time.

You know, I do stand up. Yeah. And you were like, you look like shit. That's exactly what I said. He went, what? Cut to every day he's putting on makeup. It was wild that like another adult man was still holding on to the idea in show business. That it was like, yeah, he's yeah.

Unqueer Eye, JVN was showing a straight man how to put on some under eye concealer for his because he works with people all day and his eyes had, you know, some bags and he was like, you can put this right here and it just makes it a little bit brighter. And he did it. I was like, that looks great. Like it's like, yeah, you should benefit from these tools. They're just sitting here. No one would ever be like, do you have concealer?

Unless you did it all wrong. Well, you can do it right in front of them. Yeah. Would you excuse me? Yeah. Now how do I look? I think, I think men should put up or shut up. No, they should put on makeup just like women do.

A lot, a lot, a lot, a lot. That show Corporate that we were on did a very funny episode where they marketed makeup to men. And I urge you to seek it out. It was very funny. Now how can I find that? So you want me to watch a show that you guys were on and I wasn't? Pass. Oh, I wasn't addressing this to you. Our episode was really funny. It was really funny.

Yeah. We had a good time. We did. Lauren shot me in the head. I did. Oh cool. Point blank. I wanted to do that.

Yeah. You'll get your chance. I shot a bunch of people, right? Yeah. Yeah, I think I shot like five. And then did you get shot eventually? You got away. I got away.

Yeah. Yeah. That was the show where the wardrobe person did not believe in belts. Yes. What does that mean? She, this person did not like the look of belts on camera. It bothered her to see when you would see like, like a bump on someone's waist, the buckle or whatever. Right. So, and the reason I know it was the buckle was the issue is because I was playing an FBI agent. Yeah.

And so I had a gun in a holster. Bang, bang. But it was attached to your pants. The holster was clipped onto my waistband and because I did not have a belt on, it was dragging the pants down. No, you can't. Because it was a heavy prop. You can't wear that. Like no one would ever do that in real life.

And they tried to do suspenders like the clip on suspenders. The police should wear suspenders. Then eventually this wardrobe person capitulated and allowed a belt under the conditions that they had to put black gaff tape on the buckle. So you couldn't see the buckle. She must've hated pilgrim hats. No, that's the buck. She must've hated Pilgrim hats. No, that's what's weird. We were all wearing Pilgrim. She just felt it was too many buckles. She didn't like low buckles.

Buckles need to be above the forehead. Hey, my buckles up here. Yeah. Yeah. That's fun. I mean, everyone has their quirks. You know what I mean? He wasn't listening to my story at all. That's fun. I mean, everyone has their little quirks. You know what I mean? He wasn't listening to my story at all. That's fun. That's fun.

It's a fun story what you just told. Well, that's wild. Anyway. Wow. Buckles, buckles, buckles, buckles. Buckles everywhere. Not a drop to drink. There's a podcast that I listen to sometimes where one of the hosts-

You're cheating on us? You're only supposed to listen to us. I don I listen to sometimes where one of the hosts clearly tunes the other host out periodically and you can hear it. You're sure it's not this? I feel like we're listening to each other ready to pounce. It's the most active listening. As Karen Holt said the other day, it's active, competitive listening. That's what he said about our show? Well, he said it about Comedy Bang Bang.

I would say with this show, it is because you know those moments when you aren't listening, everyone's like, where'd you go? Why aren't you jumping on the thing I said? We actually are just disappointed that I was able to keep talking. So the one host will be getting a turn to talk and will finish a thought and then there's a little beat and then from the other one you hear, yeah, yeah, uh-huh. Dude, you can't do that.

It's horrible. That's crazy. It's like you're recording this. People can hear it and they know what's going on. You might want to say something after they stop talking. So you just might want to know what they said. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You're doing a little bit of a Jack Nicholson face. Here's Adam Sandler. Did he get COVID? Jack, I wonder Adam Sandler. Did he get COVID? Jack, I wonder if he did. I don't think everyone reported it. Maybe not everyone tested. Do you imagine all those phones blowing up with those notifications? I think that if they all tested the next day, or you know, two days later.

We're talking about the SNL 50 party where everyone got COVID, supposedly. I think more people would have gotten a positive. I think we're at a point now where people just don't really test. Yeah, I think that's true too. Do you think they're all on one big email chain together? Oh, that would be so fun. I know that Lauren sent an email and forgot to BCC.

Jack at JackNickelson.com. Remember we start filming at 5 a.m. Who are you doing? You know, a guy I know. My next door neighbor. He's fun. He's a lot of fun. I like your next door neighbor.

He's good. Do you know your next door neighbors pretty well? Well, you know, we've discussed this a little bit, but I had a little drama with a next door neighbor. Oh! There's so much drama. Down the street, not next door, but a guy who is concerning to everyone. Oh I know about this guy.

Did have an ambulance and multiple police cars there yesterday. Oh, black Betty. And then he was, and his brother was outside the house kind of saying like, right this way, da da da. And my neighbors were on a chain. You don't know me but I'm his brother. It was, I live in a musical.

And the other neighbors on the street were texting about this event happening. Cause we keep an eye on this guy for various reasons. Yeah. So you're all on a text chain with all, most of your other neighbors about one person. It's pretty much kind of keep an eye on him because of some, he's possibly dangerous.

He's unpredictable. Yeah. Oh! So we just say, what's he up to today? And he- Does he even have eyes on Richard? Yeah, and he, all this ambulance came up and all this stuff happened.

And so I was just wondering what might've happened to him. And then he was escorted out on his feet, walked right into the ambulance and got in. So I really don't even know. Doesn't that cost like $5,000? Yeah. But I don't know why you would just, if you can walk, like just get in your car and drive. That's such a, you're down the back of the ambulance.

Yeah. That's such a wild image. He just walked right in. He's a really weird guy. I would have asked him to ride shotgun at least. Right. Yeah. I mean, yeah.

Oh, I would absolutely lay down back there. If you ride shotgun, it's free. If you lay down, it's five grand. If I'm paying for it, I'm going to lie down. We would absolutely lay down back there, of course. If you ride shotgun, it's free. If you lay down, it's five grand. If I'm paying for it, I'm gonna lie down. We used to lie down in the back of the station wagons. Did you have station wagons? Oh, yes. Did you ever play sweet or sour with the cars next to you?

No, what's that, really? So if you, my friend had a station wagon where you could sit in the way back where the seats faced the cars coming in. Shoot people. Yeah. And you would make faces at them. You could flip them off.

And then if they were nice, you would say they were sweet. And if they made a rude face or just being mean to you, so they're sour. Could you imagine if a little kid made a face at you out of the back of a station wagon, you're like, fuck off. Yeah, yeah, they did. It's so weird. Yeah. Or they're just like, what's your problem? Yeah. Yeah. It seems like back when we were growing up though, that people were expected just to be normal all the time. And so for a kid to do something, it would be like annoying to, to an adult. You know what I mean?

Well, there was like the, the children should be seen and not heard kind of thing. Yeah. You know, it's fine for you to go play with each other, but please don't interact with me in any way that implies I'm okay with it. Yeah. So bizarre. How bizarre. How bizarre. How bizarre. Um, but so I'm waiting to get an update as to when he returns and if he's in a body bag, I think he committed, I want to just say, I think he's committed some, some crimes. So I'm not,

I'm not too concerned about his health. Yeah, and I'm pretty positive due to reading police reports. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so funny to just be like, can you get an ambulance here as soon as possible? Yeah. And be like, oh, hey.

Yeah, that's actually kind of how he talks. Hey, girl. I'm just going to jump in the back here. Slip out the back jack. Is this all right? Zoom, zoom. Do you guys take tips? Yeah. So that's that. Yeah.. Do you guys take tips? Yeah.

So that's that. Yeah. Anything going on with your neighbors? Anything fun? Our neighbors are nice. We are on texting terms with some of our neighbors. Yeah. Well, I will say my rest of my neighbors are all pleasant and wonderful.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. My next, one of my next door neighbors today as I was walking in my car was, this is a guy who has many vehicles. And it's a running joke with us. How many- Does he keep them covered with like tarps? You know how this car covers?

We can't see. He's got, because he has been in the neighborhood for generations. So this was his family's house. And so he's got a lot of space now. He's expanded and in the back they have like a gigantic garage. And he's got he's got a truck he's got a motorcycle he's got a boat he's got a car. And then today he ran out of sound effects pretty fast. He was the

same one. Splash. So why didn't you one. Other than splash. Splash, splash. Yeah, so why didn't you do that one? Here comes the boat, splash, splash. Today, as I was walking in my car, he was just idly riding a bike around in the middle of the street. That's so lovely. Like Prince.

Remember that video of Prince? I miss those days. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It looked, honestly, it fucking looked fun. Yeah. That is fun. He was just riding his bike around. That's yeah, yeah. It looked honestly, it fucking looked fun. Yeah. Yeah, that is fun. He was just riding his bike around. That's a good time. Yeah. I know this story is late, but on Halloween... I knew you were going to say something about Halloween. Why? I just knew it.

Weird. Don't get mad at me. No, I felt, I felt psyched. You just felt a Halloween vibe? When you said, I know this story is late, I go back to Halloween, we go. Well, he put in plastic vampire fangs. So I think he wears those whenever he wants to tell a story. But we go. Well he put in plastic vampire fangs, so I think it was a little bit of an indication. He wears those whenever he wants to tell a story. But we go to a different neighborhood to take Emmy around to our friend's house. LA tends to have certain neighborhoods that are very good for trick or treating

and others that are not. But you don't like this because then people don't come to your house. Yes, I wanna see the little kiddos. Yeah, but we feel entitled because it's our good friends. You do what you gotta do. And they block off the street. That's what I like about it.

I like that too, even though it can be a little crazy even with that. Right, but in any case, so a year ago from this last Halloween, we went to one house and it was very charming. This older couple were there giving candy. Hello. Yeah.

I'd like to give some honey. Happy Hallows Eve to you. Here's a Werther's original. This is one of the first Werther's ever made. Here's a copy of the Hardy Boys. And one Beeble. One what? Bible.

A Beeble. So he's, the older gentleman said something, he was like, you know, we've been in this house since. So I was pretty close with the voice. Yeah. Sorry. We've been in this house.

He wasn't that old. We've been in this house. But you just talk like that. You can talk like that when you're younger. It's not an age thing. We're the air. When you meet somebody in their 20s that talks like that, it's wild.

Yeah, you're just like, you're an old soul. He's got ribs. He's got ribs. He's got ribs. And he knows how to use them. Let's do keg stands. That's fun. We're poly. We're poly.

We're in a polycule. So he was like, oh, you know, we have lived here since 1945. And- What the fuck? We were, we've just lived in this house ever since. And- We hate it. Now, you know, and we're gonna give this house

to our children when we pass on. And I was like, oh my God, that's so amazing. We took the candy. So then cut to this Halloween, we go to the same house, same gentleman was there and he goes, you know, we've lived in this house since 1945. He tells every single trigger treater. And I said, yeah, you told me last year. Did you really?

Did you have like a mask on so you felt we could be... Hey, you're going to give this to your kids when you pass on. Get a new story. You can't be telling every single trick or treater of the story. But it made me think he must. He is. He didn't just say it for you. I thought it came out of like a natural conversation or whatever, but no, he, this is, he. No, it didn't come out of me going like, wow, how long have you been here or anything like that?

It's just like he offered the information and offers it to everyone who passes the now it is strange. Well, now I want to go back next year and see if he'll do it a third time. Halloween do something spooky, man. Yeah, man. Don't. Well, I mean, that is kind of spooky. Talk about when you pass on.

He's like a ghost. He's like, maybe he is. He's lived here for 45 years. Unfinished business. Getting somebody to tell him to shut up. Yeah. All right, we have to take a break. Hey, Paul.

Hey, Scott. Can I ask you a question? I wish you would. Who taught you about money? Nobody. Nobody? Are you self-taught or you would. Who taught you about money? Nobody. Nobody? Are you self-taught or do you still not know anything about it?

Oh, I guess I was taught by life the hard way. Wow, okay. So you know about money. So your parents didn't do it, your school didn't do it. Nope. Nope. I mean, I gotta be honest, me and most of the people I know, we learned about saving and budgeting when

it was already too late. We'd already blown through our inheritance. Yeah, I'm one of those people. I blew through my inheritance. You know what? Your kids, they don't have to blow through their inheritances anymore because there's something new. You can give your kids a head start with Greenlight. What? anymore because there's something new. You can give your kids a head start with Greenlight. That's right. Greenlight is a debit card and money app made for families that lets kids learn how to save, invest and spend wisely. Parents can send money to their kids and keep an eye on kids spending and saving. Meanwhile, kids and teens build money, confidence and skills in a fun, accessible way like with games.

Okay, now I have a question for you. I don't suppose the Greenlight app also includes a chores feature where you can set up one time a recurring chores, customize your household, and reward kids with allowance for a job well done. Paul, I'm here to tell you, you can do that. Oh my god, that was such a specific question. Yeah, it's incredible. You nailed it in the first guess.

I've been looking for a good way to teach my two-year-old daughter about finance. And as soon as I learned about Greenlight, I knew there was no better time than now to get started. Well, let me tell you something, Green. She picked up a quarter the other day. What's this? And I said, it's about time that she- Wow, well, tell you something. She picked up a quarter the other day. What's this? And

I said, it's about time. Wow. Well, there you go. Now, from what you're saying, based on what you're saying, you're telling me it sounds to me like green light is the easy, convenient way for parents to raise financially smart kids and families to navigate life together. And maybe that's why millions of parents and kids are probably learning about money on green light already. Yeah, that's pretty true. In fact, Paul, you could start your risk-free Greenlight trial today at greenlight.com slash threedom. That's greenlight.com slash threedom to get started.

I'm going to say it one more time. It's greenlight.com slash threedom. This makes me want to start having kids. Spring cleaning isn't just for finally tossing that fedora you swore would make a comeback. It's for hitting reset on your grooming routine. Manscaped's beard and balls bundle has you covered from cheek to cheeks, clearing out the overgrowth winter left behind. It's time to weed whack, hedge trim, and make sure the lawn is looking manicured for the season. Because nothing says fresh start like a sharp beard and, more importantly, a properly landscaped lawn.

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Level up your grooming game today. I don't know about you, but I like keeping my money where I can see it. You fanned it all out in front of us on the table. And where you can see it too. That looks to be about $17. Thank you. Unfortunately, traditional big wireless carriers also seem to like keeping my money too. But fortunately for me, there's Mint Mobile.

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I have dollar bills in my eyes, not the dollar signs. I have literally dollar bills. It's unnerving. Yeah. Anyway, I could use them to blow my nose. I could toss them in the fireplace. I don't think you can do either of those things. I think that's defacing U.S. currency.

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and a dollar for you. Thank you. Thank you. We're back. It's good to be back. Guess who's back. Guess who's back. Tell a friend. Remember the, was it Alpha Beta?

For me it was Acme. They're the same company, I believe. Tell a friend. What is it? Why do companies do that? They're like, you know what? All these Easterners like this name and all these Westerners like this name. That was pretty good.

But why change Acme and Alpha Beta? It's like who? I don't know. Like Best Foods and Hellman's. I don't understand. Who cares? I don't get it. Hardee's and Carl's Jr. Yeah. What is this about? Anything west of the Mississippi? Do you know what we're talking about, Lauren? I know Hardee's and Carl's Jr. I didn't know Best, what is this about? Anything West of the Mississippi? Do you know what we're talking about, Lauren? I know Hardee's and Carl's Jr. I didn't know best, what is it? Best Foods and Hellman's Mayonnaise.

They're separate? They're the same. Same company just called something different. Oh, in different areas? Same packaging except for the name. Everyone's except for the name. Why is that? This is what we're wondering?

I know, but I mean- Welcome to the conversation. Ah! Welcome to the world of wonder. No, no, no, no. Harvey's, when I moved here and I saw Carl's Jr. and I understood that it had the same sign, I was so confused. Should we do this with Freedom? Where it's called Freedom on the West Coast? Yes, and on the East Coast it's called Carl's Jr.

What were some of our other- Do you remember? I mean, Freedom is just such a perfect title. But do you remember when we announced it at Comic-Con and everyone went, Yeah, we thought we made a big mistake. And then even on our first episode, we were trying to say, like, what is the title going to be? We were apparently four episodes in before we settled on Freedom.

But now it's so perfect. It's so perfect. It couldn't be anything else. Of course it is. The same way you're just Scott and you're just Paul. If I started calling you different names, it wouldn't even smell as sweet. Ha ha ha. That was beautiful.

Thank you. You're like a poet or something. I think I. A poetess. I think. Thank you. You're like a Bart. Yeah.

Bart Simpson. Don't have a cow man. No, keep your cows. Keep all of you. Keep your cows. Well, keeping that would be having a cow. Don't give a cow man. I don't give a cow. I don't give a cow about that. We need new sayings. Don't have a cow man. No. We do need new sayings. Did Bart make that up? Or was that something that was said before that? It was said before, but he just sort of appropriated it. He sort of just adopted it as his own. What about eat my shorts?

Eat my shorts. And what was the other one that like other, another TV shows? Cowabunga the turtle said, and. Was that a problem? It's a problem for me. Okay. Like who am I listening to? It's really Michelangelo. I think at the time, you know, 90s, we were kind of obsessed with surfers. Yeah. And I feel like that's where that. I like to call him Michelangelo. I think at the time, you know, 90s, we were kind of obsessed with surfers. Yeah. I feel like that's where that,

I like to call him Michelangelo. Yeah. And Leonardo. And Rafael. And don't give it to him. This is the one that I can't remember. Donatello. Donatello. Si, si, si, si, si, si. Graatello. Si, si, si, si, si. Grazie, grazie, grazie. Prego. Prego. Prego.

Mi piacere. How's your Italian coming? It's coming pretty good. How many days am I on? Up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, days of learning? consecutive days of learning. Don't keep us in suspense. I'm waiting for the app to load honey. Well, what do you want to talk about while you wait for your fucking app to load? 275 days. Okay, so that's not even a year. You're I thought you were trying to impress me. Oh, sorry. Wait, let me look again. A hundred years. Whoa.

That's fucking cool. I know. 100 words. Well, okay. One a year. Yeah. To get it perfect. I couldn't keep up. Is that one of them? They have no idea what you just said. What's going on, Lauren? I have this pain in my back that is really annoying me today. It's like a muscle pain. I've been exercising a lot, I will say. Oh really?

It's been great. Yes, I've been really... You have huge muscles. I do. I do. Yeah, they're massive. That's why you're wearing all those shirts that cut off sleeves? Yeah, because I'm trying to show off my guns.

You ripped it open like Hulk Hogan on the first episode sleeves. Yeah, I'm gonna show off my gun You ripped it open like we're on the first episode We did and we didn't even mention it because it was just something I do all the time. Yeah I kind of forgot yeah, my back hurts and I really want like how's your don't pussy crack. Damn it You're really sick. What? Sick you're sick in the head and I've actually reached the point where I simply won't take it anymore No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, God, I was thinking about the old lady I used to live with. Your mom? It's better than you saying Kula. I would never. No, I was just thinking about her. For some reason, she popped in my head because.

Why did you live with an old lady? I don't remember. Yeah, I don't remember. I don't think we got to this on roommate roundup. This is my second. Roommate reminiscence. By the way, I talked to a big fan of Restaurant Roundup the other day.

God, I thought you were gonna say Bigfoot. I got so excited. And she was wondering why Restaurant Roundup ever ended. Or do you mean roommate reminiscence? I can't remember which one it was, but I think it was Restaurant Roundup. Well, we already know all the places you worked. Because that's the one you do?

Yeah. No, I think I- Was there any left? No, but we didn't do- That's why it ended. The roommate reminiscence, we stopped. We did stop. We did stop. We actually had a structure for it it and then we abandoned it. Yeah Person says one we're gonna do them chronologically. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let me tell you about the old lady Well, the fact is I don't know how far I got so I can't really get into that

Yeah, and then there's a certain point where I just don't want to talk about it anymore Okay, so we never should have talked about it. Yeah, oh and also We shouldn't exist. We shouldn't be doing this podcast for certain. So this is Violet was her name, right? Wrong. Real old lady name. Wrong. Real, wrong.

Is it right? Total old lady 100%. It is a really lovely name. Solidly in the old lady camp. So she- But making a resurgence as many old lady names are. Sure. They all come back around.

To everything there's a season. Turn, turn, turn. So this was my second year of acting school and there was a housing coordinator at our acting school who would find new places to live. And this was an older woman who was willing to take in a renter. She had a room. A border.

A border. Here are the rules. So the rules were. Of course. I had a room, I had my own room, which is nice. I didn't have to bunk with her. Don't feed me after midnight. It was just me and her. I had to bunk with her. Don't feed me after midnight. Um, it was just me and her.

Um, I had to shower in her bathroom because there wasn't a shower. There was just like a, I think there was a bathroom that I had. Yes. Yes. So I had to shower in her bathroom, but she said, you know, use whatever you need in my, you know, the, the soap and all that kind of stuff. Use my white shoulders. in my, you know, the soap and all that kind of stuff. Use my white shoulders.

So that was cool. And then it was like, hey, I keep sodas in the fridge out here in the garage, have whatever you want. Wow, what kind? RC, President's Choice. I hope you like Shasta. And so, and then her grandchildren would occasionally come and they were young, they were probably 10 or so or whatever. And so, and then her grandchildren would occasionally come.

And they were young, they were probably 10 or so or whatever. And then she was like, and then the TV, there's like a TV and a VCR in the den or whatever that we could use. So it quickly turned to... I can't believe we've never heard this before. Yeah. I'm confused. I bet you someone's gonna say we have. I don't think so. So it turned... I don't believe we've never heard this before. Yeah. I'm confused.

I bet you someone's gonna say we have. I don't think so. So it turned- I don't think so either, but- It turned into her- If you are that someone, why don't you hear this right now? Fuck you. Yeah.

It turned into her absolutely hating me. How? I don't know. But apparently like at one point we were out of sodas and her grandchildren were there and they came out of the garage with a soda. And I said, oh, I didn't think we had anymore. And the grand kid goes, oh yeah,

grandma says you were taking too many sodas. So she locks them in the other refrigerator with the lock on it. I was like, too many sodas. She said I could have them. I'm a juggernaut and I need my Faygo. At one point she got really upset because I had a girl over. That's against the rules.

And then she got very mad that I would set the VCR to record movies on the movie channel like at three in the morning because there would be all these old movies that I had on a list that I wanted to see. And so I would set it and it would tape on my own tapes. And she really got mad at me one morning when she discovered this because the VCR would then be on for like an extra three hours. Oh, God. And. And that's like the electric bill? Either wasting electricity or.

Running down the VCR. Running down the VCR. And her VCR was going to break sooner because of this. Mm-hmm. And so it was so, just by the end, it was like, I knew she couldn't stand me anytime I was there, you know, and so he tried to seduce her. So that's all I had left to do.

Look, obviously something's going on. You're pretty angry. You can let that tension out in a certain way. Discuss the line between hate and love. Yeah, no. So finally in the second semester, I decided to move in with my girlfriend and the housing director wouldn't let me because she said it was a sin to live with someone before you're married and I was like what the fuck I'm going I'm in acting school who is this

and so I had to take it to the head of the school why is it their business it wasn't and so he was like I'll just take care of it. And so I got an apartment in Seville. Jesus. That's crazy. But Violet, one of my roommates. You think she's still alive? Oh, fuck no.

How old was she? She was pretty old. She's listening to this right now. How old was she? She was pretty old. Now- What are we talking? She was 80?. Now. What are we talking? She was 80.

She had, okay, so I was 22. She had to have been in her 70s. But maybe she wasn't that old. I know, I'm trying to gauge like. Yeah, when you're younger, it's like, oh my God, a million years old, 40. She definitely was, she definitely like reminded me of my grandma.

So I think she must've been in her 70s. Yeah. Like all the time. Remember your grandma. Don't me of my grandma. So I think she must've been in her seventies. Yeah. Like all the time. Remember your grandma. Don't forget about your grandma. Have you talked to her today? Oh, and then one day I was backing, this is on Thanksgiving, I was backing my car

and she had a whole bunch of her family over and I was backing my car out to drive home to Orange County. And I wasn't looking behind me and I crashed into one of her relatives' cars. Oh my God. Which is more of a bummer for my parents who had to pay for it, but still annoying to her. I just felt like everything I did was annoying to her.

Oh yeah, if I were her I'd be like, and now he just crashed into Deborah's car? This fucking guy. But it also just seemed like she didn't want to have someone living there, especially not a 22 year old college student who's like listening to music and just living. Everything about it is very weird. It's very weird.

Do you think the housing person knew this old lady? Yes. I think that she was an old lady like her. So I think they were like... I mean, so I grew up in Evanston, which is a college town, and there were one of my friends growing up, their family would have, they had an extra room in like a really big house, and they always had a college student there. And then I also, another neighbor of mine

would rent out a room to a college. It was a very common thing. So I guess it doesn't shock me that she did it, but I could see if you're annoyed by it, it's like, oh my God. I have to think I was the first person she ever did it with, and like, immediately it was like, this is not the life. And she wasn't any good.

So you're like, the price is like, first time. Let me try again. But she must've just immediately thought like, oh, the money is nice, but this is not. No, of course, it was never gonna work out. If you're 75 or whatever, why do you want a 22 year old hanging? She wanted $500 a month, bud.

Yeah. And plus I was never there because I'm constantly at acting school. Constantly. So the only time I'm ever there. You're just like, you're constantly going 76 drum bones. That's the big parade. I'm being an animal. Anyway that was one of my wonderful roommates.

On the topic of the VCR being on for an extra three hours, there was a, I was reminded of this the other day, there was a comedian in Philly who was known to be extremely cheap, extremely cheap. And one of the older guys told a story about them going to do some gig together. And he, the guy who was driving, Vroom Vroom, Vroom Vroom, thank you, called before he left, called the cheap comedian and got his answering machine. It was because of his answering machine days. Right.

And left him, I said, I'm on my way over. Now the cheap guy had been outside waiting already. So he didn't know that the phone had run. And when he gets in the car, they're driving, they're on their way to the gig. And the guy driving says, where were you? When I called to let you know I was coming over, how come, where were you?

You know, and he goes, wait, did you leave a message? And he goes, yeah, I left a message. He goes, uh, the machine, the blinking. He was worried. He was worried it was gonna. Cost money.

Add money to his bill. That's so cheap. I can't even handle that. I know someone who used to, it was very cheap, who used to slice open their toothpaste tubes. First, they would roll it up and do everything that you normally do. But instead of throwing it away, you then take a razor to it,

slice it open and then like, like 20 more brushes. I almost get that because I do that with some expensive products. Yeah. Because it's like, it is annoying that you know, there's a little bit more in there. There is a, there is this like spatula tool there's a little bit more in there. There is a spatula tool. I probably had it at some point, but it was for makeup products. So when you get to the bottom of something.

I'm going to use this on you. Was that on the 3? The 3mium? Or was that on this? There was some kind of little spatula that you can like use like scrape out the remaining bits of makeup because makeup is so expensive. Right. I have one of those little spatulas because for hair products.

And you cook your tiny eggs too. I do cook my tiny eggs. Little hummingbird eggs. You shouldn't steal those from the hardwoods. Like my pomade and shit in a little tub and I scoop it in there and then frost it like a cake. That's fun. And I put the and then frost it like a cake. That's fine. And I put the lid on. And it's fun.

That's satisfying. You should be on the Great American Baking Show. What if I were? In the oven? Yeah. You little gingerbread man. Hey! Can't catch me.

I would love to be on a baking show and just with no knowledge and just see how it turns out. You make cakes? I do make cakes but I don't retain any of the knowledge. But you only really make a couple cakes, right? You make a lot of cakes. If you did Nailed It, that would be fun. It would be fun.

I'd like to do something like that, but yeah, I just follow recipes and I don't, like I don't have any creativity when it comes to it. You know what I mean? Like I don't even know why anything happens. That's why you'd be good on Nailed It. Yeah. I have not seen the show Is It Cake?

Yes. But do they ever bring out a thing that looks like a cake that isn't a cake? That's an interesting question. Where it's like clearly this is a sheet cake. It's like a tire. Yeah, but it's made out of tire. They just frost a tire.

Is this tire? Frost a tire, put two candles on there. Lauren, who are you texting? I just want to worry about it. Sometimes things come up. Okay. Things do come up while you're... You know what? That's so true.

Things come up while you're... You can't just put a pause on life while you're recording a podcast. Wouldn't that be fun though if we all had a click style remote control where we could just pause life, record our our podcast and then unpause life and then the world just starts back up again. You can pull your pants down and stick your ass in your boss's face. Yes.

Yes. Wouldn't that, isn't that the dream? It is. It is. Who picked that movie? So Soomy. Jesse Fox. Okay.

And was very upset that I didn't like Speaking of Fox's what did they say? I don't know. I Didn't think that video was funny. I'll say it was it supposed to be fun. I don't think I don't think it's supposed to be moving I don't think ever saw the video. I think I've only ever heard the song. Okay. I do enjoy singing it around Emmy. She enjoys hearing it. Do you remember that commercial with the accursed Diddy where it was supposed to be, it was a Superbowl type commercial where it was supposed to be a big event where he's bringing back all these singers from the past who all they

were like all one hit wonders or something and one of them was the what did the Fox say guy hmm then the idea was he wasn't happy I can't remember what product it was for so not effective as a commercial but it's no but it's stuck with you but not for the right reasons exactly and you saw it saying like that guy's cool, did he? Yeah. And I like his lifestyle. I'll admit it.

Before all this stuff came out, I thought he was the coolest guy in the world. And he used to go to his freak-offs. OK, look, I'll do it. Before all this stuff came out, yeah, how would you do these freak-offs? So after it came out, you stopped going to them? Yeah.

Of course. Once I realized what was going on. Like, how many freak-offs did you go to after all this stuff came out? All of them. No, after it came out, you stopped going to them? Yeah, of course. Once I realized what was going on. How many freak-offs did you go to after all this stuff came out? All of them. No, after it came out. Oh, two. But I'll admit it, before that, I went down and I still won. And I won.

You won? It was a challenge, actually? It was a freak-off. OK, I gotcha. It was a freak-off, honey. I guess I didn't realize. You think a bake-off, people just bake and go home. No, somebody wins. You're right. You're right. You're right. Okay. All right. We have to take a break.

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Yeah. You know, I recently bought a pair of Quince's Performance Tech Joggers and I've just been living in them. I refuse to get out of them. I haven't showered in months. My family doesn't speak to me anymore, but they're just too comfortable. They do look like nice pants. Indulge in affordable luxury. Go to quince.com slash freedom for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns that's q u i n c e dot com slash freedom to get free shipping and 365 day returns quince.com slash three down are you angry at us no I love that they can return it for a whole year okay it never happens ready to optimize your nutrition this year factor has chef made gourmet meals that make eating well easy. They're dietitian approved and ready to heat and eat in two minutes so you can fuel right and feel great no matter what life throws at you.

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Factor podcast! All right, we're going to do this thing. Look, I don't even know. It's a Bustero. Oh, right. It's a Bustero. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, this week's Bustero was brought to us by Lauren Lapkus, who begged us to do this. Please, please, please, can we do it. Please, please, please can we do it?

Please, please, please can we do it? Please, please, please can we do it? Please, please, please can we do it? This game was called and is called the band game. And will be called. It's submitted by AtmovieTwerp. Go around the circle naming bands or musicians that begin with the same letter, picked randomly. If you can't think of one make one up. If you

make it up and the next person calls your bluff, you're out. If someone calls bluff and it was a real band name, then they're out. Okay, so we're going to go. What letter of the alphabet? Shame simple. Let's do S something easy. Okay, so it can be musicians or bands. Okay, are we discounting thes? Are we discounting

articles? Yes. Great. The Smiths. The shins. The strokes. Uh oh. Don't let us see that you can't think of anything. Self. Silver sun pickups. The stone roses. The stones. Comma rolling. Stone temple pilots. Silver chair. Smell. Calling your bluff. You're calling my bluff? Yeah.

Let me look it up. Let me look it up. If you made it up, that's made up. Even if it happens to be a real thing, you don't. I'm sorry. I said swell. No, you didn't. You're out.

Damn it. Super chunk. Smashing pumpkins. Super grass. Super tramp. Super tramp. Super tramp. Super tramp. Super it! Super chunk. Smashing pumpkins. Super grass. Super tramp.

Stevie Wonder. Sia. Stylistics. Styles, Harry. That works. Hold on. We got it. Yeah. Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine.

Fine, fine, Sabrina Carpenter. I would file it under S. Sabrina Carpenter. I'm going to file you under fuck off. Actually, I would file it under O because I would have One Direction and then the solo. And then your O face. Yeah. Oh, look at my record collection.

Of One Direction. Sruti Karpater. Selete. No. Sinead O'Connor. Oh yeah. Shakira. Yeah, Shakira Onira.

You don't have to keep. Selena. Selena Gomez. I would never do anything to her Selena. That's the lady who stabs her in the movie. I know. Doesn't she shoot her? Or she stabs her?

I think she stabs her. God, that was terrible. Who stabs who? Just get off your phone. Let's play it again. Let's play it again. This time the letter is B. B. B.

Are you fucking kidding me? Come on. Are you fucking kidding me? A person or a band. Come on. Better than Ezra! Oh my god! The beetles!

Brandy Carlisle. Brandy. Belinda Carlisle. Bone Thugs in Harmony. Mmmmm. Bob. What's Rob? How about the last name?

Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob.

Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. What's Rob? How about the last name? Bob, no, Bob's a band. Be O's. Bluff Calling. Okay, I'm gonna look it up here. I'm pretty sure it is.

Pretty sure. Yeah, English indie pop band. Formed in 1986. Paul's out. You're out, bitch. The B-52s. Oh, B-movie. No! It has to be a band or a person. Are you challenging me?

Yeah, B-movie. Oh, B-movie. Other than B-movie as in Jerry Seinfeld's B-movie. So B-movie as a band. That was my first thought. Well, because I forgot that B movie was a play on B movie. I'm not gonna say anything about this. I'll keep going. So you're not going to challenge me? I'm not challenging you. Okay. It's your turn. I know.

My ride's here. Badly drawn boy. Mmm. Bad English. Come on. Come on, brain. Come on, brain. We love you. Don't we, folks? Come on, come on brain. Come on brain.

We love you. Don't we folks? Oh man, I might be out. I'm trying my best. What? I'm trying my hardest. I got nothing. You got nothing?

If you get one more that I'm out. The Beat Farmers. Damn it. Were you Googling bands? No. B-movie is a band. B-movie sings nowhere girl. They're from Mansfield England. You're living in a dream. Nowhere girl. M. Mmm. Mmm mmm mmmmm. Goes to you. The letter M, of course, immediately makes me think of M Ward.

Mary's Danish. Motor City Soundtrack. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Mm. Mm. Um. Um. M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m- Who knows? Are you listening guys? Madonna. Merle Haggard. Melissa Manchester. That's a double orchestra. Let's see, M, what would follow him? A, probably.

Paul McCartney. No. No, we don't do last names. probably Paul McCartney no no no no because you want to get a point but we're not doing that way I already had to back out of it before you have one more chance matchbox 20 you won't let me say it. You wanted to say it the whole time. You wanted to say matchbox 20 the whole time. I didn't want people to think I was uncool. Michelle Degu-cello? Indegu-cello. MC Hammer.

Oh, good one. Michelle. With an apostrophe after the first L. Isn't that Michelle Ndeghiacello? No. Okay. Michelle, she was aftermath, not aftermath, but- Aftermash?

Aftermash, yeah, she was clinger. Death Row is what I'm trying to say. MC Light. Michelle Branch. I'm thinking of branches and bank branches. It's not gonna be helpful. Really? Yeah. My brightest diamond.

Challenge. You lose, bitch. Wow. Maggie Rogers. Magazine. Mel B. Mel Mike. From Spice Girls? She's a singer. Yeah, she is. Mel Mike. From Spice Girls? She's a singer. Yeah, she is. Mel C.

Mm. Maaaazzy. Mazzy Star. Melanie. Oh, I've got a brand new pair of Mazi star. Melanie. Aw. I've got a brand new pair of skittles in my head. Yeah.

Yeah. Hold on. OK, hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Everyone hold on. Um, hold on. Hold on, hold on, everyone hold on. Mimi Rogers. Mimi Rogers. Challenge.

What is that? What is Mimi Rogers? It's a actress. Yeah. Oh yeah. She was married to Tom Cruise. Married to Tom Cruise. I fail.

Massive attack. Okay, you keep going, you have to name two more. Two more? Yeah. It's not a two more. It's classic Doug loves movies joke. Um, Metropolitan, I can't think of any more, but hey, that was fun.

That was fun. I was going to say before I got knocked out, Mr. T experience. Mr. T experience. What's going on with him? I don't know. You think Mr. T had to have like guessed it on one of their songs. I hope so. I hope so. He also, Mr. T would have counted because he did that song about respecting your mother. That's right. I never did before that. I heard that song. I never did before. Oh my god I hated my mother and I would call her an asshole. No, I loved my mother. I just didn't respect her.

Oh no, I loved her deeply. But I did not have any respect for her. Guys, thank you so much for listening. We'll be back next week, of course. Until then, I want to let you know that Varietopia happening March 16th, St. Patrick's Day special Sunday March 16th 7 p.m. live at Lodrum and live streamed to the world tickets available for that and other shows at Paulifftomkins.com live. Hey Lauren and I are gonna be doing a live comedy bang bang at South by Southwest this weekend so come see us on Saturday in the afternoon the best time to do comedy. It's perfect. We are going to sleep right after.

Yep. 6 p.m. I'll be asleep at the bar. And then look, I'm gonna be honest. If you wanna leave us a voicemail, we'll let you. Yeah, all you have to do, if you really want it, is go to the website, which is very famous. It's a very famous website.

Hagclames8.com. Do you think there's gonna be like a hall, like a walk of fame for websites? You know like- I can't believe there is one already. You know what I mean? Like wikipedia.com, wow, look, you just got your star on the website, walk of fame. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, and Hagclames8.com. Dictionary.com. Yes, Hagclames8.com. Thesaurus.com. Yeah. All right, well, I'm really excited to do the show this weekend. Yeah. That claims it's death. Thesaurus.com. Yeah. All right. Well, I'm really excited to do the show this weekend. Yeah, that's going to be fun.

And then also, if you want to hear all of our past episodes, you can get them at CBBworld.com, where you can also hear our three visiting episodes. No, sorry, three-mium episodes. That's every other week where we answer those voicemails. You can hear those at CBBworld or also at Lemonada Premium, where you can subscribe on Apple Podcasts or go to lemonadapremium.com and figure it out there. And then on Tuesdays, we re-release old episodes called Three Visiting on the Two's. And so there'll be one coming to you Tuesday. And then also follow us on social media because there's so much going on there.

And we're so social with all the fans. Scott has been on fire lately. I have. After we brought it to his attention last week. Yeah. You took me to task last week and I was properly shamed. And I said, I got to step up my game. Yeah. And he has. All right. Well, that's it.

We love you. Bye he has. All right. Well, that's it. We love you. Bye. This message is sponsored by Cola Guard. Let's talk about colon cancer screening. I know a lot of you might hear that and instantly think about the drama of a colonoscopy, taking time off work, drinking loads of PrEP liquid, undergoing an invasive procedure, fun stuff like that. But what if I told you it doesn't have to be that way? What if I told you there's a way to skip all of that drama with the Cologuard test? Now, do I have your attention? The Cologuard test is a one-of-a-kind way to feel more in control of your colon cancer screening

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You can also request a ColiGuard prescription today at coliguard.com slash podcast. The coliGuard test is intended to screen adults 45 and older at average risk for colorectal cancer. Do not use a coliGuard test if you have had adenomas, have inflammatory bowel disease and certain hereditary syndromes or a personal or family history of colorectal cancer. The coliGuard test is not a replacement for colonoscopy in high-risk patients. ColiGuard test performance in ages 45 to 49 is estimated based on a large clinical study of patients 50 and older. False positives and false negatives can occur. Colicard is available by prescription only. join us over on Lemonada Premium on Apple Podcasts. That's what it is. Where subscribers

get exclusive access to our 3Mium episodes. In each 3Mium episode, we take your calls and listen to your voicemails and we answer them. You can send your emails to freedomusa at gmail.com, send your voicemail to hadclaims8.com and listen to your questions. Be answered by your pretzel gang on Lemonada Premium. Subscribe to Lemonada Premium today by clicking on our podcast logo and Apple podcast app and then clicking the subscribe button. Who's this guy?

I don't know but I like him. Sir? Sir could you please? I think he's a little crab. Hey Paul. Sorry about that. Who was that guy? Someone took your place for a minute. Yeah. That little crab.

And we liked him better. Why did that crab do that? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.