Threedom - I've Done Cameos, Can You Milk ME?
Episode Date: June 20, 2024Lauren, Scott, and Paul discuss guitars, screengrabs, and that moment in When Harry Met Sally before playing Dumb Over Under. Follow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA. Send Threetures and emails to threed...omusa@gmail.com. Leave us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.com. Subscribe at cbbworld.com to gain access to every episode of Threedom ad-free as well as brand new Threemium episodes every other week! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Discussion (0)
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Grab Lies and Weddings wherever you buy books. Freedom! Oh my god! War!
We're nearly awake!
Freedom!
Oh my god!
Oh my god!
Oh my god!
Oh my god!
Oh my god!
Oh my god!
Oh my god!
Oh my god!
Oh my god!
Freedom!
I lost!
I was just staring at you.
I should have taken a big breath.
It reminded me of something.
Yeah, you took a breath.
But that was good for a normal breath.
I didn't know I was going to do that.
Yeah. It was kind of like Wallace and Gromity for normal birth. I didn't know I was going to do that. Yeah.
It was kind of like Wallace and Gromity for some reason.
Wallace and Gromity?
Just the, oh!
Wait, a slip of paper just fell out of your pocket.
It says, scream freedom the entire...
Shut up, shut up!
Who told you to do that?
Give me that!
Okay.
Who told me?
Look, they have my wife.
My wife?
They told me to do this.
Borat, if his wife was kidnapped. Who told me? Look, they have my wife. My wife. They told me to do this.
Borat if his wife was kidnapped.
They have my wife.
My wife.
Okay, okay, this is Borat if his wife was kidnapped.
This is Borat if his wife was...
This would be my first year of comedy.
This is Borat if he's in the bathroom line and someone said who's in the bathroom in front of you
and he goes, my wife.
Oh my, holding his stomach.
My wife.
Yeah, yeah, because he has to poo,
but he let her go first because he's polite.
This is Borat, Borat, Borat,
a party is introducing somebody to his spouse.
My wife.
This is Borat when Borat is,
so he's like going to the courthouse
and getting married and then when he walks out,
they said, who's this?
And he says, my wife.
Okay, so this is Bora being asked who his emergency contact
is and Bora goes, he goes, my wife.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Come on, Scott, you gotta get in on this.
You can't even think of one, it's like kind of crazy.
Hi everyone, this is Therita, my Scott. You gotta get out of here. You can't even think of one. It's like kind of crazy
Hi everyone, this is three dumb. I'm sure is I'm Lauren. I'm Paul And this is early morning freedom for us where an hour earlier
And this is right after
Daylight savings to say that we're all fucked up an hour of freedom an hour ahead. Oh, yeah after day lights
You're still fucked up from daylight savings. Uh
No, don't you know my famous bit about it? Let's hear it. Yeah, let's hear the entire thing. Let's hear your hour
Just do it. We'll take breaks
No, I acc. I refuse. I refuse. Whatever.
No, I acclimated actually pretty easily.
And we did a good job with the baby, the baby,
because we kept trying to go like, you know, have dinner 15 minutes earlier,
four days ahead, et cetera.
And to fool the baby, to fool the baby into it.
But she had one weird day.
And then the next day was totally back in the schedule.
Yeah, it was not really a huge deal in my house either, though I do feel like I was
having the hardest time with it, strangely.
The next day I was like, I just missed that hour.
Janie hates it.
I want it back!
Yeah, she hates it.
Yeah, she did talk about it at length on your pod.
Yes.
Well, I believe the solution is to have constant daylight savings time,
because that's the, and then that's what Arizona does.
And then at the end of the earth,
we have all this daylight saved up.
Yeah, and then we get to like party in the sun.
Yeah.
Party on the sun.
Woo.
No, I read an article that said
we should continue daylight savings time,
but the one thing that's wrong with it
is that sometimes people have to drive their kids
to school in the dark.
Yeah. And the solution to that is let's move school to an hour later because studies have shown that
kids don't shouldn't be going to school that early because their brains haven't woken up yet.
But then what about work? People have to work. I know it kind of makes no sense.
I mean but then people should quit their jobs. You need to get the kids to school before you go
to work. However, we're assuming that everyone works at eight o'clock or something.
It's like, that's also not true.
That's also not true.
That's also not true.
Every, every child should be homeschooled.
So we all have the same huge gaps in knowledge.
Yes.
Well, there'll be different gaps, but big ones.
But, but everybody's the same level of ignorance.
At a certain point, all the scientists will die out.
And so then.
They're only getting older.
So then everyone will have the exact same knowledge.
And we can all agree.
Have you guys read those articles about scientists
going extinct?
Yeah, we're down to our last 70 scientists.
I know.
It's kind of insane.
It's crazy.
It's weird, because you think there would always
be new ones, but there's not.
I know.
And they're mainly biologists, which is really strange.
There's like 65 biologists and only one physicist left.
We don't need to know any more about any animals.
We're good.
The thing about animals, too, is they're always like,
this animal does this because of this.
We don't know that. They don't talk.
Well, and you know how there is like we just discovered this fish.
It's insane looking. And then it's like you just discovered. Yeah, I've been doing yeah
Let's go down there every day till we find all the fish call James Cameron, maybe he'll let you go down there with yeah
Yeah, it's kind of his jurisdiction. Yeah. Oh, he's like Poseidon himself. He can pull
jurisdiction. Oh he's like Poseidon himself. He can pull you over. Poseidon? He pulls your submarine over. Excuse me. Flashes his avatar badge. Do you know how deep you were going? So deep that you put your ass to sleep.
Uh oh. Spaghetti-oh. Do they still do that? Probably, spaghetti. Probably, but you know, we don't see commercials.
You know what it probably sounds like now?
Oh, spaghetti.
Oh, yeah.
The rocking generation P, whatever it is.
Rock music is so popular now.
Oh my God.
The kids love electric guitars.
Popular, people, popular.
Do you know on TikTok, electric guitars are everything?
What?
On TikTok.
These electric guitars are everything.
They're obsessed with electric guitars. Really? Every other TikTok. What are everything. What? And TikTok. These electric guitars are everything. They're obsessed with electric guitars.
Really?
Every other TikTok.
What are you talking about?
I'm just lying.
I'm just lying!
I did for a second, I was like, this could be true.
It could be, I don't have TikTok.
I don't allow myself that luxury.
Wow.
What if guitars came to life?
Go.
I guess they'd be talking over there in the corner.
Would they want us to play them or would they consider that a
violation?
How do you feel about me when I do this to your body? I don't like it. Okay.
Well there's your answer.
But I don't that's your answer because Paul doesn't like it.
Guitars don't make guitar sounds. I'm not Peter Frampton.
They can't talk on their own. They need humans to move their mouths.
Oh, so humans are moving their mouths for them.
Oh.
When a guitar is being played,
it's expressing what it feels.
So basically, you're saying when they're talking guitars,
they're talking when people play them,
because instead of the strumming sounds, now it's talking?
That's what talking is for a guitar.
Okay, got it.
Then it starts eating cars. Oh, right. Wait, wait, what? This for a guitar. Okay, got it. Then it starts eating cars.
Oh, right.
Wait, wait, what?
This is a blondie lyric.
Exactly.
Do you remember that?
Okay, there was this, I guess this woman...
Can you sing that whole song?
No, I don't even know how it begins.
Fab, Fab, Freddy.
That's about all I know.
I know, then he starts eating cars.
Yeah, the man from Mars, he...
He eats up bars.
But there was, there was some woman who maybe on Instagram, maybe TikTok, but I
think Instagram, I think it was maybe like pre TikTok or early days of TikTok
Vine.
Where she knows longer than a vine because she did the rap from Rapture and that
went viral for some reason,
like she was singing along to it.
And then she ended up in a car commercial doing it and I didn't know who she
was. And so I, I learned the history afterwards. Like what, who,
they're, they're shooting, you know, when they shoot something like,
you know who this person is, this is a celebrity. And you're like, I don't know.
I remember the, the,
Sophia Vergara the first time I ever saw her,
was in some car commercial where this is like before Modern
Family, I think.
Because I remember the way she said cup holders.
And Janie and I would say that to each other.
And then when Modern Family started, we're like,
it's cup holders.
It's cup holders, lady.
Would you find a way to work cup holders into a sentence,
or would you just say the word cup holders to each other?
We would find a way to work it into a sentence.
If somebody said cup, somebody said hold.
Use cup holders in a sentence.
This is a spelling bee.
Put that in the cup holder.
C-U-P-H-O-L-D-E-R.
Okay.
That's wrong.
That's wrong.
I can do it.
There's a space.
Oh.
I don't know if there's space.
I thought it was in this context.
Say it again.
Put that in a cup holder.
No, say it how she said it.
Put that in a cup holder.
C-U-P-A-P- O-L-D-E-R.
What?
Cup-older.
That is correct.
Thank you.
Scott, sit down.
Okay, I'm sorry, I need to stand.
You lost.
Sit down.
Sit down.
Sit down.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Showdown, you move too fast.
Honestly, as I was doing, I'm going, which person is that?
Which wow am I?
I'm like, am I Biden?
Wow, wow, wow, wow.
Everybody wants to know why are we doing this?
This is the greatest country in the world.
You should be honest, Adele, come on.
I should be, right?
You should be! Remember when. Come on. I should be, right?
You should be!
Remember when they used to hire old people?
Yeah, 55 year old makes TV debut.
I think that happened not that long ago.
When?
Well, Leslie Jones was older when she got cast on that.
Yeah, but I think she was 40.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, that's not that crazy.
No, but it was crazy for Esadel.
But actually it kind of wasn't at the time.
Because they mainly hired 25 year olds. Yeah. But it used to be like, remember when they would hire Chris Elliott or Michael McCabe? That's not that crazy. No, but that but it was crazy for us at the time because they know it still is.
Twenty five years. Yeah.
But it used to be like remember when they would hire Chris Elliot or Michael
McKeon? That was that once one year.
How old were they? Oh, reality recap. Yeah.
Oh, why are we talking about Sandoval last night?
We were watching Vanderpump, of course.
It's a day after Vanderpump.
And there was a scene where they flashbacked to
somebody got mentioned and I was like who is who are they talking about?
And you've seen all the seasons.
I've seen all the seasons so they did they showed a black and white flashback to this
person Max that they were discussing. And he was from I I was like, oh, that guy! There was a season, season eight, I believe it was,
where they tried to introduce a whole bunch of new people.
And none of them took at all.
People were like, uh-uh.
These people are boring as shit.
They decambate them.
They're having so often Unreal Housewives
where they're like, excuse me, bring someone in,
and then they're like.
Excuse me.
Excuse you.
You don't have to say excuse me when you interrupt
After the he gets hit at the bar or whatever and
He's oh no. No, this is before he gets hit at the bar
He's he's just found out that they lost the money and uncle Billy can't find it and he's, Oh no, no, no. This is before he gets it at the bar. He's, he's just found out that they lost the money
and uncle Billy can't find it.
And he's like, what the fuck am I gonna do?
What the fuck uncle Billy?
It's so-
Uncle Billy, you're a stupid,
you're a stupid fucking jerk, uncle Billy.
Oh my God. It's horrible.
You fucked me, uncle Billy.
It's viscerally miserable.
And so he's, he's walking through the house
and the little kid is like tugging on his coat saying, excuse me.
And he's like, I don't have time for this.
He's ignoring him. And then finally he goes, excuse you for what? And he goes,
I burped.
That is so cute. That's such a cute movie.
It's such a cute, depressing hour movie.
It's so cute when he wants to kill himself.
And then the little angel.
It's funny.
It's funny to me.
He was such a cutie pie.
Yeah, it is so cute.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's so cute.
He's so cute.
I thought you were going to talk about Sandoval
and his breath exercises, which were so horrifying.
That was hilarious.
OK, this is months ago by now, but as we've established.
As we've established, that's your problem, listeners your problem. This is, we're talking about history.
Are we supposed to talk about the future right now?
We can't talk about the future. Yeah. You're supposed to, okay,
when we talk about something from pop culture, that's, that's timely.
You have to put yourself into a coma.
Self-inflicted coma, self-inflicted, not induced, inflicted.
You have to inflict a coma on yourself.
Hit yourself in the head several times with a blackjack.
Stand under a coconut tree until it happens.
So he was doing these breath exercises
with the help of some breath exercise coach.
And this, and I just was watching this guy going,
man, there are so many people out there
whose entire existence is devoted
to parting you from your money.
You know what I mean?
Like this is, it's not a real guy.
This is not a real exercise.
He's like, he's got an amplifier
and speaking into a mic or something like that.
He's got a microphone and Santa Claus wearing headphones.
Right.
So I guess he's talking directly into the headphones,
which probably also are blaring some ambient noise.
Yeah, some sort of, or some do do do dodo-do-do-do, or something like that.
But he's talking into the headphones and he's like, okay, now give it the biggest
breath you've ever had. And Sandoval's like,
What?
It's so embarrassing.
He's breathing in this very weird way.
We need him to be off TV.
I don't know much, but what I know is too much. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, TV is in many ways. I was thinking like, it's so bad for his mental health
to be involved in this show
and to have to be around these people.
Like he can do anything with his life.
He needs a break.
No, he needs a break.
But his entire finances are tied into it.
No, it's the only way to make a lot of money.
Because if you look at them,
none of them other than Ariana now are making any money.
Yeah.
It is funny that these people are all bound together.
They have to be on camera.
They have to be next to each other.
And they have to do these bullshit things where he asks, what's your name, Lala, to
come to the breath exercise purely just to make content.
They know that they're there to make content.
And she shows up purely because it's like, got to make content. They know that they're there to make content. And she shows up purely because it's like, gotta make content. Here we go.
Ariana is actually talented from, I mean, on Dance with the Stars, she was fabulous.
She was. People say she's good in Chicago.
And she's in Chicago. And I'm like, so that she's fine.
Oh, she's fine. Which I'm very glad about.
Oh, don't worry about Ariana. Given that she was the one who got screwed
over. Again, didn't watch any of that show. Which was-
But you have a strong opinion, which I love.
I do, I love.
That's podcasting.
But that's not your type of,
I can't believe this is so late in the game,
and I'm sure I've asked you this before,
but that's not your type of reality show, right?
That one crosses a line.
I basically like, I watch a lot of Real Housewives
over the years.
Oh, you do? Okay.
Okay, and I've been watching for many, many years, okay?
Probably 20.
And-
That's many. That's a long time, not consistently.
The early years, I didn't have cable
when I was in college, whatever.
But I'm thinking about how at a certain point,
Vanderpump became a spinoff and I said,
I'm not gonna do it.
Because they would start, your DVR would start recording.
Your DVR would record that as like a,
just add it to the show as like a trick.
What about George C?
You'd be watching the DVR and then you'd be like,
oh, now it's another show that's starting,
I didn't even realize,
because some of the same characters are going into that show.
Because they want you to watch it so they, yeah.
But I did that with fucking Summer House.
But I didn't do it, and then I was like,
I'm not doing that.
And then from that point on,
it just became like a hard line for me.
George HW Bush doing tattoo.
But I add in horrible new things all the time.
Go.
They're not gonna get us.
They're not gonna get us.
I can't believe you went back.
You barreled over me to make sure.
Barreled?
To make sure.
This is too good.
That was the most polite barreling the show has ever seen.
Oh my gosh.
The most polite barreling the show has ever seen.
Did you ever see that movie Wild Hearts Camp They Broken? The most polite barreling this show has ever seen. Did you ever see that movie Wild Hearts Camp Be Broken?
The most polite barreling this podcast has ever seen.
I've never seen that.
It's like a blind girl jumps off,
does horse jumping off into a pool.
Yes, in the Atlantic City Pier.
Yeah. Yes.
I loved it when I was a kid.
I didn't realize she was blind.
Wait, she does it once or she does it all the time?
She does it all the time. She does it all the time.
She does it all the time.
I think she's blind.
Yeah, yeah.
I think that's the whole idea is that she's so daring.
That's the whole idea.
Well, she's so daring that she will jump off,
take this horse over the edge and jump down.
Or is the horse blind?
Look it up.
I just want an impression of it.
That's the only way they could get the horse to do it.
He's blind.
It must be her.
Just one more step.
Just like a little step down.
But they jump into like a, into like a small pool.
Yeah.
It doesn't seem safe at all.
Fucking crazy.
That was a real thing.
That's so weird.
How many horses died in the making of this?
Oh my God.
I can't even imagine.
Hardly any.
Okay.
It's not luck numbers.
It's like that movie, Fargo.
Fargo?
No, Homeward Bound.
Far away away?
Where they said a lot of animals were harmed in the making of.
Oh, I've never seen that.
Oh, Milo and Otis, that was the one.
Milo and Otis.
I've never seen that.
We should do it on Skylar.
I believe because it was filmed in Japan,
and they have very different rules about animal safety.
And the rules are anything goes!
And then Otis jumped off the cliff.
Like he jumped.
We lost a lot of cats that one.
And then Milo number seven.
They would just be throwing them into like creeks.
Like oh it's right across the creek.
And then it's like whoosh.
No they would put like a cat in a tree
and pull like a Cobra at the truck.
Jesus Christ.
It was fucking crazy.
It's like, these aren't actors.
Yeah, and Dudley Moore narrated it.
Wow.
Oh cool, good for him.
Yeah.
Arthur himself.
Arthur Two on the Rocks himself.
Yes.
God, I'd love to see a sequel of that.
Best defense himself.
That remake of Arthur.
Oh boy. I bet it was hilarious. Why haven't I watched
that? Yeah. We should do it. We should do a remake of Arthur? Yes. Absolutely. Where
do we switch off as Arthur? Oh sure, True West Style. One of us is drunk Arthur, one
of us is sober Arthur. Sober Arthur who's just like a big kid. Wasn't that his thing? I've never seen the original but.
They remade, you've never seen the original?
No.
So Russell Brand.
Yes, the remake, because Russell Brand is famously sober.
Okay.
They made Arthur just sort of an arrested, you know.
Oh wait, so in the remake he's sober?
Why does the character have to be sober?
I mean, well because he was, yeah, I know.
No, but I'm saying like if the original movie is all about-
I guess because he doesn't want to promote that for laughs.
But then I'm saying, why are you casting this?
The things that he wants to promote are good enough.
That's a great question.
Cause it's like, isn't that the premise?
I guess because no one else would do it.
Well, I mean, I think it's a good title,
but the concept of-
Arthur's great title.
The title just tells you everything you need to know.
They sold him a new title.
But the concept of a guy just drunk the entire time.
In the room, he's like, so it's called Arthur.
We want it.
Elevator pitch.
Arthur, goodbye.
That is the short elevator.
Short elevator.
Goodbye.
You are the shortest elevator, goodbye.
The original Arthur Dudley Moore, have you ever seen it?
I don't think I've seen that.
I wonder, I feel like I saw it,
it was in the last TV-ergers or so.
It's the first entry of the Arthurverse.
The second being the remake?
No, the second being Arthur II on the rocks.
Arthur II on the rocks?
Yeah. Nice.
Arthur-
Because I guess, was that because his romance with Liza Minnelli was on the
rocks?
No, I think he lost his money.
Oh, the character.
Yes, the character.
He was a rich.
Who did you think might have lost his money?
Well, because the thing with Liza Minnelli, because I'm saying the current one we were
saying he needed to do it based on his life and he doesn't drink.
So maybe Dudley Moore lost all of his money.
And Arthur reflects that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you cast somebody in. So maybe Dudley Moore lost all of his money. With Liza Minnelli.
And Arthur reflects that?
Yeah, yeah.
If you cast somebody in a movie, it should be a reflection of their life.
I need movies to be based on the actors.
Yeah.
Luke Skywalker?
Mark Hamill lives in space.
That's what I always thought.
As we all do because we're on a floating planet.
He tweets from space.
You always love to blow my mind with that.
I really do.
That is so crazy.
Here's what I love.
You forget. Well, because I'm I really do. Here's what I love, you forget.
Well, because I'm just walking around like,
it's just normal.
And then you'll say something like,
you know we're in space.
And I'm like, hold on a second.
Yeah.
I'm like floating right.
My favorite thing is to pick my moment
when I'm gonna say that to you and blow your mind.
I know, it's your favorite thing.
You know we're in space, right?
You just did it again?
Oh shit.
Like this house is like floating on a planet.
Yeah.
If you jump up high enough,
you can just float off into the space.
You should try right now.
Yeah, here we go.
Wee!
We live in Star Trek essentially.
Yeah.
Bye.
We're taking a break, bye.
Does Star Trek, oh, okay.
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Hey everyone, here's a hot tip
for your summer reading list.
If you loved Crazy Rich Asians, you're in for a treat. Kevin Kwan is back with his latest novel, Lies and Weddings.
Lies and Weddings brings us to a decadent Hawaiian wedding where a forbidden love affair erupts
vulcanically. It's the perfect summer beach read, hilarious, entertaining, and impossible to put
down. It's like Crazy Rich Asians meets the White Lotus. Lies and Weddings is a globe-treading tale
that whisks you from the black sand beaches of Hawaii to Marrakesh and from the glitzy scenes of
Los Angeles to the inner sanctums of England's oldest family estates. Throughout the story,
Kwan weaves a juicy, sophisticated, and thrillingly plotted story of love, money, murder, sex,
and the lies we tell about them all. As the New York Times put it, the author of Crazy
Rich Asians returns
with another B-Tradie confection starring pampered people
in designer clothing behaving badly,
this time at a decadent Hawaiian wedding
where secrets erupt with the force and heat of lava.
So don't wait, grab your copy of lies and weddings
wherever you buy books.
I'm Sam Smith and welcome to The Pink House.
I love being in The Pink House with you.
Join me as I talk to my friends and some amazing queer icons about their idea of home, like
Elliot Page, Joakim Booster and Gloria Estefan.
Music was always my escape.
It was my happy place.
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And we're back. Does Star Trek know where they are? Because they could be in Florida.
Does Star Trek know where they are?
This is a great question. Does Star Trek know where they are? Because they could be in Florida. Does Star Trek know where they are? This is a great question. Does Star Trek know where they are?
Cause they could be in Florida.
I'm going to say, do they ever talk about maps
or coordinates or anything?
There's two famous episodes of Star Trek
where they talk about maps.
Right.
One is called maps.
Right, right, right.
The song maps is based on that.
The other one is called Fold It Up.
Fold It Up.
Right, oh, I thought it was Fold Ed Up.
Oh, it's Fold It Up. Fold It Up. Right, oh, I thought it was Fold Dead Up. Oh, it's Fold It Up.
Oh, that makes sense.
The only Star Trek I've seen is the one episode
I watched for a podcast that I was doing with
was it Alice in Wonderland?
Alice in Wonderland and Veronica Losorio.
You gotta do Newcomer Star Trek.
No, I don't.
And why not?
There's five billion episodes.
No, you pick one episode of the original series.
I'm not doing that.
One episode of Next Generation,
and then some of the movies,
and then one episode of Voyager.
There just has to be a line.
I don't think so.
You don't think so?
What are you, the Star Trek gatekeeper?
As a matter of fact, I am.
You piece of shit.
Oh, no.
But what I will say is the episode I watched
was all about this little alien boy going to-
Clint Howard?
Going to get baseball cards.
Oh.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
American memorabilia that was off-changed.
Is that DS9?
Or is that-
I don't know.
And I was actually charmed by how much
it was just an 80s, 90s sitcom.
Yes.
It was like, he just-
Oh, and then we had you on our podcast.
Was that a different episode?
So I must have watched another one.
I think that was the one. Oh, okay. It was the baseball cards one. Then, and then we had you on our podcast. Yeah, was it a different episode? So I must've watched another one.
I think that was the one.
Oh, okay.
It was the baseball cards one.
Then I must've watched a different one.
Yes.
I've seen two.
What if you just did the movies?
No.
You know what?
We got our next two seasons lots and loaded.
Come on, man, no.
But just because you love something,
now they can't ruin it?
We don't ruin everything.
They don't ruin everything.
We like a lot of things. We like a lot of things.
We like a lot of stuff.
I just don't think it's too big of a universe,
I think, to make it worthwhile.
Technically, Batman is in the same universe as Star Trek.
What?
They haven't crossed over yet,
but there's a bunch of clues out there.
What are the clues?
Well, technically every TV show is in the same universe.
Two clues?
Yeah.
Okay, remember that one episode called,
I think Bruce Wayne is Batman?
Oh shit, that's right.
I think Bruce Wayne is Batman.
I remember it was, it was Benjamin Sisko.
Who thought that? Sisko. The billionaire. I think Bruce Wayne is bad. I remember it was Cisco
Cisco the billionaire
That's my
Quite honestly
Jeremy Cisco no
Benjamin Cisco You're thinking of Jeremy Sisto. Thank you. I was like, why does that sound wrong? From six feet under. Jeremy Crisco? Clue less.
Was he in Clue Less? Yeah.
What was he in Clue Less?
He's one of the popular guys.
He's like the guy who has a crush on Cher.
I remember so little about that movie.
You're almost clueless yourself.
She's like, you have a picture of Ty in your locker.
He's like, I have the picture you took in my locker.
What?
That's the moment when she finds out.
It's romance, bud.
He tries to kiss Sharon.
She's like, what? You you you love Ty.
You have the picture of Ty in your locker.
He goes, I have the picture you took in my locker.
She took the picture of Ty. Right.
And put it in his locker.
OK, up because he she thought, oh, why?
Because she took the picture.
OK, that's insane. Right.
Absolutely. Because like, I was real.
He needs to go to hell.
The actor. Yeah. The actor and the character.
I did. And they should meet each other in hell.
Why did you be called the two people you meet in hell?
Game night or whatever with him. That show that was like a game show.
It's still on. I can't remember what it's called.
Hollywood Game Night. Yeah. With Jane Lynch as the host.
Yeah, but now it's she's the weakest link. Goodbye.
Now it's Jerry O'Connell.
Oh really?
And she does weakest link.
They're just gonna switch off doing things
from now until the end of time.
I hope so.
Yeah.
I hope that she'll end up on the chat.
What is it called?
The talk.
The talk.
Is he on the talk?
He is.
Good for him.
Yeah.
He loves reality TV.
He loves it.
He loves Bravo. He loves the Bravoverse. He goes to the BravoCon. He loves it. He loves Bravo.
He loves the Bravoverse.
He goes to the BravoCon.
He does.
How bad do you think the BravoCon is?
I don't know.
Should we go and record an episode?
I have friends who've gone,
but they're mostly people who are involved
with the network in one form or another.
Right, right, right, right.
So I don't-
Who are paid to be there?
I don't know if they're-
Like your friend the Countess, Lleweth.
My friend's the Smith sisters who have a serious ex. I'm yes, of course
That's all in the same world. Of course. Yeah, are you friends with all of the sister on Bravo?
And yes radio Andy I am all of them. I became friends with Lauren first through tumblr in
Talking about my friends sisters
They have a daily serious exam show called Smith sisters live.
That's like hilarious and great if you have serious XM.
But I do, I'm a subscriber.
You'll enjoy it very much.
Oh, I better tune into that.
Yeah, I met Lauren and through Tumblr.
And then over the years became friends
with her sisters as well.
So yes, equally friends with all. Do you think they would say the same well. So yes, I am equally friends with all of them.
Do you think they would say the same?
Yeah.
That we're all equally friends?
Is it possible to be equally friends with siblings?
I'm just telling you it is.
Hmm.
You saying that brings up an interesting question.
Is it possible?
Because I don't believe it.
Because we're in a text chain all day, every day,
the four of us.
You have so many text chains, how do you have the time?
Do I ever come up?
I love texting.
Do you ever come up?
Yeah.
I don't think so.
Not ever?
Dang.
I doubt it, I doubt it.
You never tell them a story that involves me or anything?
No, I do, I do.
Okay.
Actually, actually, yesterday.
Just lie.
You came up yesterday.
You came up yesterday. What did I do? Because I shared a actually, you came up yesterday. You came up yesterday.
What did I do?
Because I shared a screenshot that you shared with me.
Okay, I'll accept it.
Did they respond like Paul's the greatest?
They were just like, can you believe that guy?
He's amazing.
For taking that screen grab.
That's amazing.
Okay.
They were very into it. Didn't they used to be called screen caps at some point? That's amazing. Okay. They were very into it.
Didn't they used to be called screen caps at some point?
I hope so. It's like a screen cap. It's like a screen
cap that was on the computer. Okay. I might be wrong. So wait, the
mobile aspect of it makes it a grab instead of a cap? Why don't we find out?
Okay, so there's screen grab, screen cap, and screenshot. And I feel like now we all say screenshot.
Oh, a screen cap is a still image
from a movie, TV show, or video.
Oh.
A screen grab.
Grab is a...
That seems like it would be from a computer.
Essentially the same thing.
Oh, okay.
No, screen grabs and screenshots are the same thing.
Okay.
An image that captures the screen of your computer, phone or digital device
at any given moment.
I see. So screen grab and screenshot.
Same thing. Yeah.
What you just screen screen.
Caps is is when you're just taking the image from a movie or something.
You know, isn't it annoying how on your computer,
if you try to screen cap a movie you're watching, it just is black.
It just blocks.
I'm like, let me take a, okay, you know I can use my phone
to take a picture of it.
Yeah.
Just let me. Just let me do it.
Let me just, just let me do it.
Don't you want this to go viral?
It's gonna go viral.
Please let me send a funny text to my friend.
That phrase is used to lose, like people will be like,
just someone on my explore page.
I post, here's another one of these,
cause the last one went viral.
I go look at the last one, it has 7,000 likes.
I'm like, that's not fucking viral.
I had, I went through the exact same thing with somebody,
some like posts that I saw and it was,
I swear to God, like 250 likes or responses.
And I was like, that's not viral at all. It's not viral to them.
It's viral to them.
And this is what we have to talk about.
But it's not viral to you.
It's a busy day on your phone for you.
It's not viral.
You're not going to be on Good Morning America.
No, we should establish.
We're talking about people who've
been made into memes, they're viral.
Yeah.
We should establish what viral is.
The lady who tries something, she doesn't like it,
then she thinks about it again.
That's exactly who I'm thinking of. And she was just on Caleb Herron's new podcast, and she was very funny. Really? Yeah, we should establish what? Tried something she doesn't like it
And she was just on Caleb Heron's new podcast and she's really yeah, so I guess you know Good for her. I have a I have a part of my TV show is used a lot by
It's me with the captain's hat saying welcome aboard like a lot of people use it
We intend viral so I don't know that it's viral
But like when it's when it's gotten to the point where like weirdo right-wing people use it to be like oh
you're red-pilled welcome aboard. I think my image has been used in that way
and gif form. Someone sent me something. Are you a robot? My image has been used in that way.
My body is unavailable for such actions. I, one of my favorite things to do is to send a gif of myself to people.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's, it's a real power move.
But then people, I would, I would do it all the time because we have so many from the CBB
TV show. And then I started to feel like, I started to feel like people thought it was
a bragging thing because no one ever responded like, oh, ha ha, funny. Like people you knew? Yeah. Yeah. I, like, I've started to feel like people thought it was a bragging thing because no one ever responded like, Oh, ha ha funny.
Like people you knew?
Yeah. Yeah.
I started to feel like people thought it was me flexing.
But it's like everyone that you're probably texting probably has a gift.
With me, everyone.
You?
Or fuck me?
No, fuck you.
Oh, fuck me?
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck me?
Fuck you.
The great David Caruso in the movie Session Nine, I think.
Session Nine?
Yeah, where it's like a horror movie, I guess.
Is it like a recent one after CSI Miami?
Oh, for sure.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is when his movie career was,
this is after his movie career.
Oh no, no, it's pre-CSI Miami.
This is after NYPD Blue, his movie career was supposed to take off.
And he did kiss of death and Jade. Yeah. Tanked it. Yes.
And then he was reduced to doing this movie, which was he and some other
dudes are, are doing your eyes are glazing over.
I was like, they're crossed. I was like, David Caruso newcomer.
I'm trying to catch up.
You watch all of them. the first season of NYDB.
And then DB, and then DB, and then DB, and then DB, and then DB, and then DB, and then
DBSV, dooby dooby dooby.
Tell me about Session 9.
They're working in this, uh,
doing like some construction work or something on this old insane asylum.
And of course spooky things start happening. And, but at one point,
and I cannot remember what leads to this,
but David Caruso looks at somebody who's about to
be on right into the mic while he's talking.
Somebody's about to ending made a noise. I didn't expect somebody threatening him
or attack or about to attack and he goes, fuck you.
Just like this. You know what? Let's get it on mic. Let's hear it.
You want me to get it now? Okay. Yeah's get it on mic. Let's hear it. Or you want me to do it. Get it now. It's like I'm listening to an ad.
Okay, yeah.
Get it on, I want to hear this.
If you can find it.
If it's possible to find it, I want you to find it.
If anybody can find it, I can.
Do you think there's anything that's not possible?
You know, there are theories that the multiverse exists
because everything is possible.
So anything you can think of is out there
in a different universe.
Do you believe that? that's so stupid.
Do you believe that?
You really believe that?
No, I don't believe it.
You really believe that every every maybe choice is possible.
But like a leaf can't.
Do you think there's five trillion versions of you doing different things
in other in other you know, yeah, be cool.
And one of them is happy. One?
I hope it's this one.
Yeah, meanwhile, Paul here, doing his old searcheroo.
Got it.
Got it, whoa, OK.
Let's hear this extremely funny fuck you.
What the fuck was that?
The tank!
The tank! The tank!
Okay, okay.
Jeff, Mike, go downstairs and make sure he doesn't turn around.
You, you come with me.
Mike.
Fuck you.
It wasn't really quite what you made it out to be.
It wasn't quite, but if you could see the face.
I couldn't.
Because the face really, that's why I said if, dear.
But it was like, you're right there with the phone
and I yet somehow never saw it.
The fact that he goes, hey,
and then the guy turns around.
I mean the hey is an extra layer.
You're giving the you a lot more flair
and I'm not mad at it, I'm just letting you know.
Lauren, I wanna say I'm trying my best today.
I'm really trying my best today.
Oh my God, so you're really at the end of your rope right now.
I'm wearing on fumes.
Oh my God.
I'm trying.
Okay, so you're doing a really good job.
Or just in general.
Everything, everything.
Oh my God, I got lumped into that.
You're part of the reason that I'm hanging by a thread.
Hey, how's your little squirrel cam going?
I've been neglecting it.
The fuck?
No, not your cam.
I know.
I gotta get back on.
Neglecting it meaning what?
You're not checking the footage or it's not even taking footage?
You're not giving them corn cobs?
I'm not giving them...
I've never given them corn cobs.
Do you remember?
Did you ever do this in school?
Where you put like a ribbon on like a corn cob
and then you like decorate it.
You put, you roll it in peanut butter
and put like seeds all over it,
then you hang it in a tree.
What the fuck?
You put a ribbon.
What?
A ribbon.
Ribbon, oh, oh.
Ribbit, ribbit?
Ribbit.
What's on a present?
A ribbon.
A ribbon.
Yeah.
So you put a ribbon.
Wrap it up in a nice pretty ribbit.
You put a ribbit on like a corn cob or an acorn or like a pine cone or something and
you dip it in peanut butter and then you put seeds all over it and then the squirrels come
and eat it.
It was a thing we did.
I don't know if that's bad.
That's weird.
It was something we did.
Pine cone is cool.
That seems like a trick on the squirrel.
Yeah because then he's like look at at all this being a better crunch.
Ow, my teeth, they all fall out.
Clang, clang, clang.
Corn and peanut butter go together great.
It must not be.
Well, I don't know that they care
about the flavors that much.
Are you kidding me?
You don't think animals care about flavors?
They don't have a good palate?
No, I think they care about flavors.
I don't think it's the same way
that we interpret flavors.
I did the Pepsi challenge with my squirrels.
Really, how did they react? They all picked Pepsi.
Can we talk about how amazing I did in that?
You did amazing.
I mean, other than not knowing the rules, you were great.
But I guess all the pups.
You smashed that.
Had you just paid attention to the first part,
it would have been a clean sweep.
But I don't care about that part.
I don't think that part was right.
It's what we established.
The reality recap, yeah. Have you watched the Australian traders?
No, I don't. I don't think I'm going to have time for it.
Honestly, it's worth it.
The best, really?
I wouldn't say it's the best.
Well, then I don't have time for it. What's the best?
Best is.
Boy.
Best is.
Give me the, I only watch the best of anything.
Well, no, UK and American are tied, I would say.
So the. I only look at luxury cars.
I only watch the best picture every year.
That makes sense.
You know what? There's probably like really, really bland people who do that.
Well, I mean, where they go like, I'll just see whatever wins.
Best, whatever wins.
Pictures. Yeah. And then they're like, oh, Barbie didn't know.
I'm not going to one movie a year.
I bet you there's somebody.
It came out last year.
The day after the Oscars.
Do you, it feels like somebody who'd be like,
I only go to the highest end restaurant.
I watched the best movie of the year.
I live my life by reviews and not my personal experience.
And they think it's like cool.
Yeah, someone said to me once about.
They think it's like cool? Someone said to said to me once about- They think it's like cool?
Someone said to me once about eating,
they were like, okay, make yourself-
Chew and then you swallow.
Yeah, yeah.
And it's like, okay.
And you have to do it every day.
Not the reverse.
But, but okay, so, you know,
if you're going to cheat off your diet,
make it something like really, really good.
Yeah.
Don't just be like, Oh, I'm going to snack. Oh, here's a bunch of chips or whatever.
Like, like go, go somewhere and make it, make a bit, you know,
have like the highest end.
What person said this to you?
I know. And that's so like, that's so, it has so much foresight. Like you're like,
I want to cheat on my diet tomorrow at eight.
Yeah. It feels like it has to be.
Cheat on my diet with a full meal.
It's like, I think chips are pretty great.
Chips are, yes, that's cheating on your diet.
You know what I love that I don't feel like
is around enough?
You.
Me.
Chips that are dipped in chocolate.
Those are so fucking good.
I don't know that I've ever had
chocolate covered potato chips. I don't think I've ever had that. They sound like. Those are so fucking good. I don't know that I've ever had a potato chips.
I don't think I've ever had that.
Oh, we gotta do a taste test.
I've had chocolate covered pretzels, of course.
They sell them at Trader Joe's.
That makes sense.
And they're really rich and crazy.
Are they like Trader Wonka or something like that?
Trader Liam's chocolate dipped potatoes.
Trader Jonka.
Trader Jonka.
Jonka.
Toompaajumpas.
I don't mind how they talk to you a lot at Trader Joe's.
This has come up recently on a couple things.
I've been in, since I used to live in my old old place, right next to it.
So what are they doing now?
Well, it's part of their hair book that they chat with you a lot.
You know, it's like kind of-
They say, what do you believe in God?
Who are you voting for?
Yeah, since you're a child.
How much do you weigh?
Since I'm a child.
How much do you weigh?
How much money do you make?
They're often like,
what do you have to do later today?
How's your day going?
What's the weirdest thing you've ever done
in the bedroom?
Or they'll be like, this snack is really good.
I love this one.
Is there a bag?
You know, that kind of thing.
I like it. I don't mind. I had this one. Is there a bag? You know, that kind of thing. I like it.
I don't mind it.
I had one the other day that was, it was too much.
And I was like, it was like, she couldn't tell that I,
I was being nice.
I mean, I wasn't being trying to be rude,
but I felt like it was like,
I'm not trying to do this right now.
Like it was like so much.
And like opinions about what I was saying. Like it was like so much and like opinions
about what I was saying where I was like.
I actually don't want people judging what I'm buying.
Well, she was asking me questions about what I was buying.
What's it for?
Cause it was like a lot of stuff.
It's like, oh, is this for this?
Well, this was like duct tape and twine and.
Yeah.
She's like, what are we gonna do with this?
We don't even sell this here.
I was selling quick line.
Buying.
I'm hanging by a thread.
The other night we were at a restaurant.
Day or night?
It was night.
What, when was it, Scott?
Honestly, it was six.
So it was bright as hell.
It was bright as hell in here.
Now we were at a restaurant and we ordered drinks
and Cool Up ordered, you know,
off the specialty menu of drinks and ordered this drink.
And the waiter said, great choice.
And I went, oh, okay.
She made a good choice.
And then I ordered my drink and he went,
another great choice.
And suddenly it's suspect, isn't it?
Because he's just saying great choice
because we're ordering off the specialty menu or something.
I don't know.
And now you couldn't be proud of your wife anymore.
Yeah, my wife. As Laura would say. But I couldn't be proud of your wife anymore. Yeah. My wife, as Laura would say.
But I couldn't trust anything he was saying.
No, of course not.
No, you lose faith.
This guy's a liar.
Yeah.
He's obsequious.
Yeah. But what if he didn't say anything?
What if he in his head was like, oh shit, he made a bad choice?
I just want him to be honest.
Here's what I would. OK, I'll be the waiter.
OK. And will you be cool up?
Sure. And will you be you?
Yeah.
All right.
Are we thinking drinks before dinner?
Let me go first.
Honey.
I love wine.
You know, I asked you before the,
Shut up.
I asked you before I could go first.
No, get back.
No, you get over here, you asshole.
I will have the grapefruit martini.
Oh, great choice.
Thank you.
Okay, I'll have the little miss Muffet.
Huh.
Something to matter?
Tell him what you're thinking.
I'll be right back with the things.
No, no, tell him what you're thinking.
No, no, is that not a good choice?
Not for me to say, sir.
It's your choice?
But you said it regarding her choice.
That was for me to say.
So if it's a good choice, it's for you to say.
If it's a bad choice, it's not for you to say.
If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.
Okay, well, I want to switch my drink.
I want to have what she's having.
Great choice.
A fake orgasm.
She did it before he came to the table.
Do you think that lady knew it was fake?
That's an interesting question.
I don't think anyone's ever talked about that before. It's Billy Crystal's mom. No, it's Rob Reiner's mom. Thank you. You're welcome.
Men need to correct you on more things. I appreciate it. So in the world of When Harry Met Sally,
yeah, is this lady making a joke or is she legitimately thinking whatever that woman had at that table made
her order?
She ate a pastrami sandwich that made her come.
Yeah, I'll have that.
I think in the universe.
I also want to come in public.
I mean, we don't see what we don't see is that woman getting her order and then having
to do that.
That's that's a sketch.
See I think in the world of this movie, she's like, she doesn't
want to insult the cook, so she's like, or she's, or she's complains. Like it's like,
marches back to the kitchen. Hey, how come I didn't get the cum sandwich? What did you
leave out of this? All right, we have to take a break.
Are you a pop culture connoisseur with strong opinions?
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Media and the BBC. And we're back.
And it's time for a three-cher, guys.
Can you believe that such a thing would occur?
Let me explain this to the listener.
Yeah, these dummies who don't understand this concept.
A three-cher is where we play a game.
And that game is...
Why don't we just call it a game?
Hmm?
Why don't we just call it a game? Why don't we just call it a game?
Because we promised we were gonna have a feature
on the show from the very beginning
and then for fun we call it a threacher.
Oh right.
Got it.
Also we misunderstood what feature meant.
Right, right, right, yeah.
And it just became a game.
Right, okay, now I understand.
I think there was a point where it could have gone in multiple directions. It could have been anything
Yeah, but for some reason we stuck to the idea that it's always gonna be a game. Yeah
Well, we're 200 and whatever episodes in now. We can't change it
No, we can't change so we're so so is there anything more to explain or this is a type of game that you would play in
The car or you play in a living room you play in a part of should you not look where you're going when you're in the car and you should just
play this game?
No, the beauty of this is you can look where you're going and still play the game.
Still play.
Isn't that beautiful?
Can you be over the legal limit of alcohol?
Yes, you should be.
Okay.
In the car.
If you're in the back seat.
In the back seat, great.
But you shouldn't be carrying the alcohol.
No. You should have drank it all at the bar or at home. Finish it before you get in the back seat. In the back seat, great. But you shouldn't be carrying the alcohol.
No.
You should have drank it all at the bar or at home.
Finish it before you get in the car.
Or it should be in the trunk.
You imagine getting really drunk at home.
Yeah, just hide it under a shirt.
That's what I would do.
Hide it under a shirt.
Yeah.
Okay, so this is, this is called dumb.
Can you imagine being really drunk at home in what?
Ha ha ha ha.
And not enjoying it?
And then going.
Sounds great. But then going, Sounds great.
But then going somewhere.
But I guess people do it all the time.
I've been drunk in a year at this point.
It's like sucks.
It sucks.
Look, in a few weeks you can get drunk all you want.
Well, not exactly.
All you want.
Yeah, but a yes.
Not exactly, but a yes.
Yeah, but a yes.
Well, but yeah.
Okay, so this is called Dumb Over Under.
It's been submitted by Michael Bliss.
Thank you, Michael Bliss.
Truly, you are ignorance.
Yes.
Change your name, Michael Ignorance.
And then people will go like, why'd you change your name?
Your middle name is IZ.
Michael is Blizz.
But you changed his name to Ignorance. Michael is Blizz? Is Blizz. But he changed his name to ignorance.
Michael is Blizz?
Is Blizz.
If the middle name is IZ.
When did he change his name to ignorance?
You said he changed his name to ignorance.
And then you're saying Michael is Blizz.
You said he changed his name to ignorance.
Michael is Blizz.
Michael is Blizz.
Okay, so here are the rules. Two people are playing against each other based on what the third person says.
Oh, no. OK.
Persons one and two come up with a question.
Persons one and two say you and I, Lauren, come up with a question to ask Paul
that they wouldn't know something like and the answer should be a number.
Something like how many gallons of water are in the Pacific Ocean?
Okay.
Or how many lights are there on the Vegas Strip?
Okay, Paul then makes a guess and is locked in.
Okay.
Okay, and he tells us what it is.
You can't alter the answer.
Now, you and I, Lauren, then play over under
with what they think the answer is.
So, and then we make our guesses.
And-
Whoever's closest without going over?
No, just if we're over,
if we're correct about it being over or under.
We get a-
It's like school.
Me explaining this to you or the-
Well-
Both.
Here's my question.
Is it more fun if we try to get closer?
So what you're saying is we should just
play a game where whoever's closest without going over
wins.
So you can't say, I think there's 10 gallons
in the Pacific Ocean.
That's not this game.
I think it's more.
Well, then if you just said 10, then we would both say over,
and we would both get points.
And you want to keep us from getting points.
Oh, but here's what it, here's what it could be.
Because you're going to be, the next time
you're going to be getting points yourself.
Don't make it sound like that.
Like I'm trying to prevent you.
Why don't we play it the way that the person wanted us to play it.
Michael Bliss, you got your wish.
Let's play it, let's play it the way ignorance wants it played.
And Michael is Blizz.
I-I-B.
Okay, so we got to come up, Lauren, we have to come up with-B. Okay, so we gotta come up, Lauren,
we have to come up with a number.
Okay, I have one.
Oh, you have one, okay, go ahead and ask.
How many lights are on the Eiffel Tower?
I wasn't gonna say Las Vegas.
I just thought it made me think of the Eiffel Tower.
How many lights are on the Eiffel Tower?
When it sparkles up.
By the way, I hope when we think of these,
we can actually look them up and they're real lights.
I'm sure you can.
And then what happens? One of those, I guess a number. you guess, I guess, how many you guess and make it a
good guess because you guess over or under that amount.
Okay.
I'm going to say 10,000.
Wow.
10,000.
Okay.
Wow.
What a great answer.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Okay. Now we have to talk about, we talk great answer. Wow. Wow. Wow. Okay, now we have to.
Independently.
We talk about why we think this.
Oh no, really?
We have to say over or under.
Oh no.
I'm going to go with.
I didn't know this was like a feelings game.
I'm going to go with under.
Why are you going with under?
It just sounded like a really high number to me.
Right.
And I was thinking more in a 5,000 range,
but that might be not enough at all.
Okay, so you're going under.
Okay, so when I went to the Eiffel Tower,
not as big as you would think.
Mm-hmm.
It's only seven feet tall.
Yeah, honestly, it's all perspective,
like the Indiana Jones boulder.
I met a comedy bang bang fan
while I was sitting at the Eiffel Tower.
I'm so sorry.
Was it me?
Fucking sucked.
So it's not it's not as tall as I thought it would be, but it is tall.
But 10,000, I think 10,000 seems low to me.
OK, so I'm going to go.
Over how many lights are on the Eiffel Tower? seems low to me. Okay. So I'm gonna go over.
How many lights are on the Eiffel Tower?
You took a screenshot.
I didn't mean to, but the answer is 20,000.
Wow! 20,000.
Wow!
Okay, so Scott gets a point.
I get a point.
Okay. Congrats.
Thank you.
Next one.
All right, so now it goes to, Paul and I are gonna ask you a point. Okay. Congrats. Thank you. Next one. All right, so now it goes to,
Paul and I are gonna ask you a question.
Okay.
So Paul, can you think of one or let's see.
I can think of one.
I can't believe I said 5,000.
I hate myself.
How many times has the person
struck by lightning the most the person struck by lightning
the most times been struck by lightning?
How many times have you been masturbated?
I'm gonna say.
It's such a good setup for a non sequitur.
How many times has the person who has been struck
by lightning the most times masturbated?
Unfortunately we can't look it up.
We can guess and the answers gotta be five times.
Three times the person one one person has been struck by lightning three times.
She's saying three. All right. I'm going to go.
You're talking. I'm going to go.
This is tough. Yeah, because you would think three times would be crazy,
but I also feel like I've heard about people
being struck by lightning more than that.
I'm gonna say over.
And then do I say anything?
You can say over or under.
You say over or under.
I'm gonna say over.
You're saying over as well.
Yeah.
All right, Lauren.
The answer is Roy Sullivan was struck by lightning seven times more than any other person. All right, Lauren. The answer is Roy Sullivan was struck by lightning seven times
more than any other person.
All right. The park ranger guy.
We got to lock him up
and find out his secrets.
He keeps running into open fields, holding an umbrella aloft and a key.
This is crazy. He's the Guinness World Record
in the category of most lightning strikes survived.
Congrats. Now is it like an older looking guy, Park Ranger? And he's like, yes!
You know this? I remember this from when I was a child. I can't believe he still holds the record.
Wow. Okay, great. All right, by the way, it can't be something we know.
Yeah, because you're guessing. Okay. You know what? But I don't think that's fair.
You didn't know. I didn't know the number and I thought, I thought there must have been somebody who,
I just want to clear up any confusion the listeners may have.
Paul didn't know the answer, the number.
So he gets to keep his point.
Yes. Okay.
Now Scott is going to ask a question of-
No, no, no, you're asking a question of me.
But I already asked a question.
Well, Paul can think of it or whatever.
Oh, it doesn't matter who asked it.
You guys both asked me a question. All right, Paul can think of it or whatever. Oh, it doesn't matter who asked it. You guys both asked me a question.
All right, fine, fine, fine, whatever.
Let's ask something about money.
What is the most expensive guitar?
How much? How much is it?
How much is the most expensive guitar ever sold, I guess?
Sure.
Or for sale now?
Well, anything can be on eBay.
They just write. Anything can be on eBay. They just write.
Anything can be on eBay.
Well, they list Beanie Babies for $10,000.
It doesn't mean someone's buying it.
Okay, most expensive guitar ever sold.
I guess that's the retail.
It could be a bass guitar as well.
I'm thinking of like Paul McCartney.
Why don't we narrow it down?
Most expensive bass guitar ever sold.
No.
Just guitar.
Okay, fine. Just guitar.
Okay, I guitar. OK, just guitar. OK, I'm going to say I don't even know if one would go for a million.
It seems too much for a guitar.
But like, oh, man, there are crazy fucking people out there.
That's the truth.
I'm going to say I'm going to say 275,000.
Oh, I'm going to go over. I I'm gonna go over as well. Okay, I think
I'm sure there's some weird fucking thing out there. Yeah, I mean if we're opening it up
You said it's so quick like selling at an auction or something. I am yeah, so
Ever sold the answer is whoa
One dollar The answer is, whoa.
One dollar. Bob Barker's guitar.
How much would you have guessed?
I was thinking half a million dollars.
Two million.
Six million.
Whoa.
The guitar that Kurt Cobain played during MTV Unplugged.
Oh sure, because he died in a horrific way.
That's sad.
Six million.
All right, you both get points.
I moved.
I was not a good guesser
because you both immediately set over.
I think what we're trying to do is set the line.
I moved to Los Angeles the day his body was discovered.
Really?
And isn't that convenient?
So you weren't there is what you're saying?
Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. And isn't that convenient? So you weren't there, is what you're saying? Hahahaha!
Hahahaha!
Or you...
You did something a few days earlier and you skipped town.
I just moved here.
See, my couch is going into that apartment right now.
I was on my way to the airport to fly here.
And I heard the news.
And isn't that interesting?
I remember I was walking down the street in New York City
when Michael Jackson died.
I was in the park watching the bird and the bee
when Michael Jackson died.
But I remember that Kurt Cobain-
I was at Neverland Ranch when Michael Jackson died.
And you just moved there.
I remember I was taking-
You were disappointed
because you thought you were going to hang out.
I remember I was taking a gas mask off somebody's face.
Oh my God.
Okay.
I remember the Kurt Cobain thing.
I was working at the Olive Garden and they,
Restaurant round.
They would play the radio sometimes, very,
Fun!
If you were good.
In the kitchen.
Oh sure.
Okay, you get to hear one song.
Very sort of as a low volume, they would play whatever radio station.
I remember they played K-Rock and just turned it up and it was all just like Nirvana songs
back to back to back.
All right, I'm going to ask, okay, now it's for us to Paul.
How many movies as of this recording
has Robert De Niro been in?
Oh my God.
Oh wow.
I'm going to say.
This includes cameos and all that kind of.
Oh, believe me, I'm including them.
Yeah.
You're counting the cameos right now.
He did that one, he did that one.
I've done cameos, can you milk me?
I'm gonna say, this is a that one. He did that one. I've done cameos. Can you milk me?
I'm going to say, let's not, this is a hard one. 75. 75. Okay. Lauren major motion pictures. Yeah. Well, I'm not counting student films. I'm just going to ask how many movies has he been in?
75. 75. Okay. Lauren over or under?
Here's the thing.
Mm-hmm.
It feels like it's a lot,
but it also feels like he's specific with his choices.
He's not just in a movie every day.
Yeah, like Rocky and Bullwinkle.
Okay.
I'm gonna go under. Lauren's going under.
But just barely.
Okay.
It doesn't matter.
So this means it's a good choice because you're deliberate.
Yeah, yeah.
And me too.
I'm gonna go over.
I just feel like he's been doing it for now 50 years and he does at least two a year.
Let's look it up.
How many movies, oh no I spelled many wrong.
How many movies has Robert De Niro done?
At least 113.
Whoa!
I won!
Damn.
No?
I wish I had said over because then I would have been right. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh to Lauren, Paul, do you have something? No. Okay.
How many, okay, how many countries are there in Africa?
Oh God.
Okay.
Mike and I were working on memorizing countries during the pandemic and he actually memorized all of Africa
and he could do it fully.
Wow.
So he would know, I'm gonna say 50.
50 countries in Africa, Paul, no, I go first.
No, it feels like too many.
No, hold on.
You're locked in.
You're locked in.
I'm gonna go under. I feel like 50 many, no, hold on. I feel like not enough. You're locked in, you're locked in. I'm gonna go under.
I feel like 50 is too many.
That's why I'm going under.
Yeah.
Oh, that's interesting.
Does that make sense?
And that's how you got there, I get that.
I'm trying to remember,
did I count them when I blessed the rains down there?
No.
I'm gonna say over.
You're gonna say over. You're going to say over.
I love it.
Yeah.
All right.
Good.
All right.
Here we go.
How many countries are in Africa?
Get this.
54.
Wow.
Oh my God.
I'm so happy that I wasn't so far off because I did try to learn that.
That was a great guess.
That was a great guess.
Okay, now you guys ask me something
and this will be your last one.
Okay.
Okay.
Do you have one?
Can I say what the points are?
No.
You don't want to know?
Okay, great.
I don't have one.
Okay.
My question is,
how much is a current ticket to MoMA in New York?
To MoMA?
Yes.
Very cultured question.
Yes.
Hey, gosh.
Okay, so here's-
Just a full price, no discount, no special, whatever.
Okay, I'm going to say,
because I think they want people to go
because it's for the public,
so they wanna keep it low.
I'm gonna say 13.50.
All right. I'm gonna say over50. All right.
I'm gonna say over.
Paul's going over.
I'm also gonna say over.
Lauren's going over.
All right, admission price to MoMA.
Kids 16 and under always get in free?
Okay.
Don't care.
Doesn't matter.
Not the point of the question.
Okay.
Adults.
Okay.
This is at MoMA.
$30.
Wow.
That seems like it's too much.
They don't want the riffraff.
It does, but you know, I feel like they always have a free day or like there's some special
The arts are very exclusionary. I guess so, but I thought that there were so many people
there when I went that I thought it was just like, oh they're letting everyone in. Look at the way
they're dressed. I had this feeling taking Holly to the aquarium. I was like, really? I gotta say,
Bubble Fest the other day was an extra $16 on top of our ticket.
Anyway, I don't know. What's the extra $16?
It was to get into bubble. The bubble fest part of the museum.
It wasn't just the discovery cube. I've never been there.
It's like the sphere, but a square. Yeah. All right. All right.
Let's tally up the points. I like that game. Let's tally up the points.
Lauren has two. Scott has three, Paul has four.
Paul's the winner.
You won.
I win the game.
You went over.
Paul, did you like it because you won?
Yeah, I did.
This is a great game.
We should always play this one.
Yeah, let's only ever play that.
But I think the way he said it was fun, right?
I thought it was great.
I'm glad we didn't take my modification
that I made up and had no reason to say.
Me too. Yeah. Thank you, Michael Bliss. Thank you, ignorance is. Michael is
bliss. All right, that's going to do it for us. Listen, if you'd like to send us a feature like
Michael did, a good one, why don't you write to us at freedomusa.gmail.com. And if you want to leave
us a voicemail, why don't you do that shit at hagclaims8.com?
What?
A website?
Yes.
Yeah.
And then we respond to these voicemails on our 3mium episodes, which come out every other
week on Wednesdays.
Add on and around our 3mium episodes every other week, little episodes to tide you over.
You can get those at CBB World and also Apple Podcasts Plus or Premium or something.
I don't know.
Love it.
And then every BPP.
When will we learn what that is?
I don't know.
And then all of our previous episodes and ad-free episodes are on CBB World.
Okay.
You're so dumb.
I'm doing the heavy fucking lifting here.
And then our previous episodes, if you want to listen to those and don't want to subscribe
to CBB World, then we release one a week and it's called Three Visiting on the Twos.
That's right.
And then follow us on Instagram at threedomusa and write to us at threedomusa at gmail.com.
The only thing left to say is we love you.
And Paul and I are on tour right now, so come see us on the Comedy Banding Tour.
Or the Varietopia Tour, whichever comes first.
Whichever is happening and only come to the first one.
Don't come to both. Go in order. Yes. All right. That's going to be it.
Lauren has final words for us. When you go outside,
the number one thing you're going to want to pay attention to is the weather.
It kind of just affects what you're going to wear and how comfortable you're
going to be. Okay. We'll see you next time.
Okay. I can't argue.
We'll see you next time.
What do weddings, Instagram, and toxic relationships all have in common?
They take your money and you can't get it back.
16 grand somewhere in there.
Gone.
There's no legal solution for the fact that you married an asshole.
Welcome to The Dough.
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