Threedom - I've Done Cameos, Can You Milk ME?

Episode Date: June 20, 2024

Lauren, Scott, and Paul discuss guitars, screengrabs, and that moment in When Harry Met Sally before playing Dumb Over Under. Follow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA. Send Threetures and emails to threed...omusa@gmail.com. Leave us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.com. Subscribe at cbbworld.com to gain access to every episode of Threedom ad-free as well as brand new Threemium episodes every other week! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Tired of not being able to get a hold of anyone when you have questions about your credit card? With 24-7 US-based live customer service from Discover, everyone has the option to talk to a real person. Limitations apply. See terms at discover.com slash credit card. If you loved Crazy Rich Asians, then you have to check out Kevin Kwan's latest novel, Lies and Weddings. In Lies and Weddings, a forbidden affair erupts at a decadent Hawaiian wedding, perfect for fans of the White Lotus. It's hilarious, juicy, and packed with outrageous secrets and crazy relatives.
Starting point is 00:00:31 But it also explores meaningful themes of family, privilege, culture, identity, and following your heart. The New York Times calls it a beach-ready confection. Grab Lies and Weddings wherever you buy books. Freedom! Oh my god! War! We're nearly awake! Freedom! Oh my god! Oh my god!
Starting point is 00:00:49 Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Freedom!
Starting point is 00:00:57 I lost! I was just staring at you. I should have taken a big breath. It reminded me of something. Yeah, you took a breath. But that was good for a normal breath. I didn't know I was going to do that. Yeah. It was kind of like Wallace and Gromity for normal birth. I didn't know I was going to do that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:05 It was kind of like Wallace and Gromity for some reason. Wallace and Gromity? Just the, oh! Wait, a slip of paper just fell out of your pocket. It says, scream freedom the entire... Shut up, shut up! Who told you to do that? Give me that!
Starting point is 00:01:19 Okay. Who told me? Look, they have my wife. My wife? They told me to do this. Borat, if his wife was kidnapped. Who told me? Look, they have my wife. My wife. They told me to do this. Borat if his wife was kidnapped. They have my wife.
Starting point is 00:01:30 My wife. Okay, okay, this is Borat if his wife was kidnapped. This is Borat if his wife was... This would be my first year of comedy. This is Borat if he's in the bathroom line and someone said who's in the bathroom in front of you and he goes, my wife. Oh my, holding his stomach. My wife.
Starting point is 00:01:49 Yeah, yeah, because he has to poo, but he let her go first because he's polite. This is Borat, Borat, Borat, a party is introducing somebody to his spouse. My wife. This is Borat when Borat is, so he's like going to the courthouse and getting married and then when he walks out,
Starting point is 00:02:08 they said, who's this? And he says, my wife. Okay, so this is Bora being asked who his emergency contact is and Bora goes, he goes, my wife. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, Scott, you gotta get in on this. You can't even think of one, it's like kind of crazy. Hi everyone, this is Therita, my Scott. You gotta get out of here. You can't even think of one. It's like kind of crazy
Starting point is 00:02:30 Hi everyone, this is three dumb. I'm sure is I'm Lauren. I'm Paul And this is early morning freedom for us where an hour earlier And this is right after Daylight savings to say that we're all fucked up an hour of freedom an hour ahead. Oh, yeah after day lights You're still fucked up from daylight savings. Uh No, don't you know my famous bit about it? Let's hear it. Yeah, let's hear the entire thing. Let's hear your hour Just do it. We'll take breaks No, I acc. I refuse. I refuse. Whatever. No, I acclimated actually pretty easily.
Starting point is 00:03:07 And we did a good job with the baby, the baby, because we kept trying to go like, you know, have dinner 15 minutes earlier, four days ahead, et cetera. And to fool the baby, to fool the baby into it. But she had one weird day. And then the next day was totally back in the schedule. Yeah, it was not really a huge deal in my house either, though I do feel like I was having the hardest time with it, strangely.
Starting point is 00:03:31 The next day I was like, I just missed that hour. Janie hates it. I want it back! Yeah, she hates it. Yeah, she did talk about it at length on your pod. Yes. Well, I believe the solution is to have constant daylight savings time, because that's the, and then that's what Arizona does.
Starting point is 00:03:48 And then at the end of the earth, we have all this daylight saved up. Yeah, and then we get to like party in the sun. Yeah. Party on the sun. Woo. No, I read an article that said we should continue daylight savings time,
Starting point is 00:03:59 but the one thing that's wrong with it is that sometimes people have to drive their kids to school in the dark. Yeah. And the solution to that is let's move school to an hour later because studies have shown that kids don't shouldn't be going to school that early because their brains haven't woken up yet. But then what about work? People have to work. I know it kind of makes no sense. I mean but then people should quit their jobs. You need to get the kids to school before you go to work. However, we're assuming that everyone works at eight o'clock or something.
Starting point is 00:04:27 It's like, that's also not true. That's also not true. That's also not true. Every, every child should be homeschooled. So we all have the same huge gaps in knowledge. Yes. Well, there'll be different gaps, but big ones. But, but everybody's the same level of ignorance.
Starting point is 00:04:44 At a certain point, all the scientists will die out. And so then. They're only getting older. So then everyone will have the exact same knowledge. And we can all agree. Have you guys read those articles about scientists going extinct? Yeah, we're down to our last 70 scientists.
Starting point is 00:04:57 I know. It's kind of insane. It's crazy. It's weird, because you think there would always be new ones, but there's not. I know. And they're mainly biologists, which is really strange. There's like 65 biologists and only one physicist left.
Starting point is 00:05:09 We don't need to know any more about any animals. We're good. The thing about animals, too, is they're always like, this animal does this because of this. We don't know that. They don't talk. Well, and you know how there is like we just discovered this fish. It's insane looking. And then it's like you just discovered. Yeah, I've been doing yeah Let's go down there every day till we find all the fish call James Cameron, maybe he'll let you go down there with yeah
Starting point is 00:05:38 Yeah, it's kind of his jurisdiction. Yeah. Oh, he's like Poseidon himself. He can pull jurisdiction. Oh he's like Poseidon himself. He can pull you over. Poseidon? He pulls your submarine over. Excuse me. Flashes his avatar badge. Do you know how deep you were going? So deep that you put your ass to sleep. Uh oh. Spaghetti-oh. Do they still do that? Probably, spaghetti. Probably, but you know, we don't see commercials. You know what it probably sounds like now? Oh, spaghetti. Oh, yeah. The rocking generation P, whatever it is. Rock music is so popular now.
Starting point is 00:06:14 Oh my God. The kids love electric guitars. Popular, people, popular. Do you know on TikTok, electric guitars are everything? What? On TikTok. These electric guitars are everything. They're obsessed with electric guitars. Really? Every other TikTok. What are everything. What? And TikTok. These electric guitars are everything. They're obsessed with electric guitars.
Starting point is 00:06:26 Really? Every other TikTok. What are you talking about? I'm just lying. I'm just lying! I did for a second, I was like, this could be true. It could be, I don't have TikTok. I don't allow myself that luxury.
Starting point is 00:06:37 Wow. What if guitars came to life? Go. I guess they'd be talking over there in the corner. Would they want us to play them or would they consider that a violation? How do you feel about me when I do this to your body? I don't like it. Okay. Well there's your answer.
Starting point is 00:06:56 But I don't that's your answer because Paul doesn't like it. Guitars don't make guitar sounds. I'm not Peter Frampton. They can't talk on their own. They need humans to move their mouths. Oh, so humans are moving their mouths for them. Oh. When a guitar is being played, it's expressing what it feels. So basically, you're saying when they're talking guitars,
Starting point is 00:07:16 they're talking when people play them, because instead of the strumming sounds, now it's talking? That's what talking is for a guitar. Okay, got it. Then it starts eating cars. Oh, right. Wait, wait, what? This for a guitar. Okay, got it. Then it starts eating cars. Oh, right. Wait, wait, what? This is a blondie lyric.
Starting point is 00:07:29 Exactly. Do you remember that? Okay, there was this, I guess this woman... Can you sing that whole song? No, I don't even know how it begins. Fab, Fab, Freddy. That's about all I know. I know, then he starts eating cars.
Starting point is 00:07:41 Yeah, the man from Mars, he... He eats up bars. But there was, there was some woman who maybe on Instagram, maybe TikTok, but I think Instagram, I think it was maybe like pre TikTok or early days of TikTok Vine. Where she knows longer than a vine because she did the rap from Rapture and that went viral for some reason, like she was singing along to it.
Starting point is 00:08:06 And then she ended up in a car commercial doing it and I didn't know who she was. And so I, I learned the history afterwards. Like what, who, they're, they're shooting, you know, when they shoot something like, you know who this person is, this is a celebrity. And you're like, I don't know. I remember the, the, Sophia Vergara the first time I ever saw her, was in some car commercial where this is like before Modern Family, I think.
Starting point is 00:08:32 Because I remember the way she said cup holders. And Janie and I would say that to each other. And then when Modern Family started, we're like, it's cup holders. It's cup holders, lady. Would you find a way to work cup holders into a sentence, or would you just say the word cup holders to each other? We would find a way to work it into a sentence.
Starting point is 00:08:53 If somebody said cup, somebody said hold. Use cup holders in a sentence. This is a spelling bee. Put that in the cup holder. C-U-P-H-O-L-D-E-R. Okay. That's wrong. That's wrong.
Starting point is 00:09:08 I can do it. There's a space. Oh. I don't know if there's space. I thought it was in this context. Say it again. Put that in a cup holder. No, say it how she said it.
Starting point is 00:09:20 Put that in a cup holder. C-U-P-A-P- O-L-D-E-R. What? Cup-older. That is correct. Thank you. Scott, sit down. Okay, I'm sorry, I need to stand.
Starting point is 00:09:35 You lost. Sit down. Sit down. Sit down. Wow. Wow. Wow. Showdown, you move too fast.
Starting point is 00:09:43 Honestly, as I was doing, I'm going, which person is that? Which wow am I? I'm like, am I Biden? Wow, wow, wow, wow. Everybody wants to know why are we doing this? This is the greatest country in the world. You should be honest, Adele, come on. I should be, right?
Starting point is 00:10:04 You should be! Remember when. Come on. I should be, right? You should be! Remember when they used to hire old people? Yeah, 55 year old makes TV debut. I think that happened not that long ago. When? Well, Leslie Jones was older when she got cast on that. Yeah, but I think she was 40.
Starting point is 00:10:19 Oh, okay. Yeah, that's not that crazy. No, but it was crazy for Esadel. But actually it kind of wasn't at the time. Because they mainly hired 25 year olds. Yeah. But it used to be like, remember when they would hire Chris Elliott or Michael McCabe? That's not that crazy. No, but that but it was crazy for us at the time because they know it still is. Twenty five years. Yeah. But it used to be like remember when they would hire Chris Elliot or Michael McKeon? That was that once one year.
Starting point is 00:10:33 How old were they? Oh, reality recap. Yeah. Oh, why are we talking about Sandoval last night? We were watching Vanderpump, of course. It's a day after Vanderpump. And there was a scene where they flashbacked to somebody got mentioned and I was like who is who are they talking about? And you've seen all the seasons. I've seen all the seasons so they did they showed a black and white flashback to this
Starting point is 00:10:59 person Max that they were discussing. And he was from I I was like, oh, that guy! There was a season, season eight, I believe it was, where they tried to introduce a whole bunch of new people. And none of them took at all. People were like, uh-uh. These people are boring as shit. They decambate them. They're having so often Unreal Housewives where they're like, excuse me, bring someone in,
Starting point is 00:11:21 and then they're like. Excuse me. Excuse you. You don't have to say excuse me when you interrupt After the he gets hit at the bar or whatever and He's oh no. No, this is before he gets hit at the bar He's he's just found out that they lost the money and uncle Billy can't find it and he's, Oh no, no, no. This is before he gets it at the bar. He's, he's just found out that they lost the money and uncle Billy can't find it.
Starting point is 00:11:47 And he's like, what the fuck am I gonna do? What the fuck uncle Billy? It's so- Uncle Billy, you're a stupid, you're a stupid fucking jerk, uncle Billy. Oh my God. It's horrible. You fucked me, uncle Billy. It's viscerally miserable.
Starting point is 00:12:01 And so he's, he's walking through the house and the little kid is like tugging on his coat saying, excuse me. And he's like, I don't have time for this. He's ignoring him. And then finally he goes, excuse you for what? And he goes, I burped. That is so cute. That's such a cute movie. It's such a cute, depressing hour movie. It's so cute when he wants to kill himself.
Starting point is 00:12:25 And then the little angel. It's funny. It's funny to me. He was such a cutie pie. Yeah, it is so cute. Yeah. Yeah, he's so cute. He's so cute.
Starting point is 00:12:33 I thought you were going to talk about Sandoval and his breath exercises, which were so horrifying. That was hilarious. OK, this is months ago by now, but as we've established. As we've established, that's your problem, listeners your problem. This is, we're talking about history. Are we supposed to talk about the future right now? We can't talk about the future. Yeah. You're supposed to, okay, when we talk about something from pop culture, that's, that's timely.
Starting point is 00:12:56 You have to put yourself into a coma. Self-inflicted coma, self-inflicted, not induced, inflicted. You have to inflict a coma on yourself. Hit yourself in the head several times with a blackjack. Stand under a coconut tree until it happens. So he was doing these breath exercises with the help of some breath exercise coach. And this, and I just was watching this guy going,
Starting point is 00:13:19 man, there are so many people out there whose entire existence is devoted to parting you from your money. You know what I mean? Like this is, it's not a real guy. This is not a real exercise. He's like, he's got an amplifier and speaking into a mic or something like that.
Starting point is 00:13:35 He's got a microphone and Santa Claus wearing headphones. Right. So I guess he's talking directly into the headphones, which probably also are blaring some ambient noise. Yeah, some sort of, or some do do do dodo-do-do-do, or something like that. But he's talking into the headphones and he's like, okay, now give it the biggest breath you've ever had. And Sandoval's like, What?
Starting point is 00:13:56 It's so embarrassing. He's breathing in this very weird way. We need him to be off TV. I don't know much, but what I know is too much. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
Starting point is 00:14:09 oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, TV is in many ways. I was thinking like, it's so bad for his mental health to be involved in this show and to have to be around these people. Like he can do anything with his life. He needs a break. No, he needs a break. But his entire finances are tied into it.
Starting point is 00:14:38 No, it's the only way to make a lot of money. Because if you look at them, none of them other than Ariana now are making any money. Yeah. It is funny that these people are all bound together. They have to be on camera. They have to be next to each other. And they have to do these bullshit things where he asks, what's your name, Lala, to
Starting point is 00:14:57 come to the breath exercise purely just to make content. They know that they're there to make content. And she shows up purely because it's like, got to make content. They know that they're there to make content. And she shows up purely because it's like, gotta make content. Here we go. Ariana is actually talented from, I mean, on Dance with the Stars, she was fabulous. She was. People say she's good in Chicago. And she's in Chicago. And I'm like, so that she's fine. Oh, she's fine. Which I'm very glad about. Oh, don't worry about Ariana. Given that she was the one who got screwed
Starting point is 00:15:20 over. Again, didn't watch any of that show. Which was- But you have a strong opinion, which I love. I do, I love. That's podcasting. But that's not your type of, I can't believe this is so late in the game, and I'm sure I've asked you this before, but that's not your type of reality show, right?
Starting point is 00:15:34 That one crosses a line. I basically like, I watch a lot of Real Housewives over the years. Oh, you do? Okay. Okay, and I've been watching for many, many years, okay? Probably 20. And- That's many. That's a long time, not consistently.
Starting point is 00:15:46 The early years, I didn't have cable when I was in college, whatever. But I'm thinking about how at a certain point, Vanderpump became a spinoff and I said, I'm not gonna do it. Because they would start, your DVR would start recording. Your DVR would record that as like a, just add it to the show as like a trick.
Starting point is 00:16:05 What about George C? You'd be watching the DVR and then you'd be like, oh, now it's another show that's starting, I didn't even realize, because some of the same characters are going into that show. Because they want you to watch it so they, yeah. But I did that with fucking Summer House. But I didn't do it, and then I was like,
Starting point is 00:16:16 I'm not doing that. And then from that point on, it just became like a hard line for me. George HW Bush doing tattoo. But I add in horrible new things all the time. Go. They're not gonna get us. They're not gonna get us.
Starting point is 00:16:28 I can't believe you went back. You barreled over me to make sure. Barreled? To make sure. This is too good. That was the most polite barreling the show has ever seen. Oh my gosh. The most polite barreling the show has ever seen.
Starting point is 00:16:44 Did you ever see that movie Wild Hearts Camp They Broken? The most polite barreling this show has ever seen. Did you ever see that movie Wild Hearts Camp Be Broken? The most polite barreling this podcast has ever seen. I've never seen that. It's like a blind girl jumps off, does horse jumping off into a pool. Yes, in the Atlantic City Pier. Yeah. Yes. I loved it when I was a kid.
Starting point is 00:17:01 I didn't realize she was blind. Wait, she does it once or she does it all the time? She does it all the time. She does it all the time. She does it all the time. I think she's blind. Yeah, yeah. I think that's the whole idea is that she's so daring. That's the whole idea.
Starting point is 00:17:11 Well, she's so daring that she will jump off, take this horse over the edge and jump down. Or is the horse blind? Look it up. I just want an impression of it. That's the only way they could get the horse to do it. He's blind. It must be her.
Starting point is 00:17:25 Just one more step. Just like a little step down. But they jump into like a, into like a small pool. Yeah. It doesn't seem safe at all. Fucking crazy. That was a real thing. That's so weird.
Starting point is 00:17:39 How many horses died in the making of this? Oh my God. I can't even imagine. Hardly any. Okay. It's not luck numbers. It's like that movie, Fargo. Fargo?
Starting point is 00:17:50 No, Homeward Bound. Far away away? Where they said a lot of animals were harmed in the making of. Oh, I've never seen that. Oh, Milo and Otis, that was the one. Milo and Otis. I've never seen that. We should do it on Skylar.
Starting point is 00:17:59 I believe because it was filmed in Japan, and they have very different rules about animal safety. And the rules are anything goes! And then Otis jumped off the cliff. Like he jumped. We lost a lot of cats that one. And then Milo number seven. They would just be throwing them into like creeks.
Starting point is 00:18:19 Like oh it's right across the creek. And then it's like whoosh. No they would put like a cat in a tree and pull like a Cobra at the truck. Jesus Christ. It was fucking crazy. It's like, these aren't actors. Yeah, and Dudley Moore narrated it.
Starting point is 00:18:32 Wow. Oh cool, good for him. Yeah. Arthur himself. Arthur Two on the Rocks himself. Yes. God, I'd love to see a sequel of that. Best defense himself.
Starting point is 00:18:41 That remake of Arthur. Oh boy. I bet it was hilarious. Why haven't I watched that? Yeah. We should do it. We should do a remake of Arthur? Yes. Absolutely. Where do we switch off as Arthur? Oh sure, True West Style. One of us is drunk Arthur, one of us is sober Arthur. Sober Arthur who's just like a big kid. Wasn't that his thing? I've never seen the original but. They remade, you've never seen the original? No. So Russell Brand.
Starting point is 00:19:10 Yes, the remake, because Russell Brand is famously sober. Okay. They made Arthur just sort of an arrested, you know. Oh wait, so in the remake he's sober? Why does the character have to be sober? I mean, well because he was, yeah, I know. No, but I'm saying like if the original movie is all about- I guess because he doesn't want to promote that for laughs.
Starting point is 00:19:32 But then I'm saying, why are you casting this? The things that he wants to promote are good enough. That's a great question. Cause it's like, isn't that the premise? I guess because no one else would do it. Well, I mean, I think it's a good title, but the concept of- Arthur's great title.
Starting point is 00:19:46 The title just tells you everything you need to know. They sold him a new title. But the concept of a guy just drunk the entire time. In the room, he's like, so it's called Arthur. We want it. Elevator pitch. Arthur, goodbye. That is the short elevator.
Starting point is 00:20:01 Short elevator. Goodbye. You are the shortest elevator, goodbye. The original Arthur Dudley Moore, have you ever seen it? I don't think I've seen that. I wonder, I feel like I saw it, it was in the last TV-ergers or so. It's the first entry of the Arthurverse.
Starting point is 00:20:16 The second being the remake? No, the second being Arthur II on the rocks. Arthur II on the rocks? Yeah. Nice. Arthur- Because I guess, was that because his romance with Liza Minnelli was on the rocks? No, I think he lost his money.
Starting point is 00:20:28 Oh, the character. Yes, the character. He was a rich. Who did you think might have lost his money? Well, because the thing with Liza Minnelli, because I'm saying the current one we were saying he needed to do it based on his life and he doesn't drink. So maybe Dudley Moore lost all of his money. And Arthur reflects that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you cast somebody in. So maybe Dudley Moore lost all of his money. With Liza Minnelli.
Starting point is 00:20:45 And Arthur reflects that? Yeah, yeah. If you cast somebody in a movie, it should be a reflection of their life. I need movies to be based on the actors. Yeah. Luke Skywalker? Mark Hamill lives in space. That's what I always thought.
Starting point is 00:20:55 As we all do because we're on a floating planet. He tweets from space. You always love to blow my mind with that. I really do. That is so crazy. Here's what I love. You forget. Well, because I'm I really do. Here's what I love, you forget. Well, because I'm just walking around like,
Starting point is 00:21:07 it's just normal. And then you'll say something like, you know we're in space. And I'm like, hold on a second. Yeah. I'm like floating right. My favorite thing is to pick my moment when I'm gonna say that to you and blow your mind.
Starting point is 00:21:17 I know, it's your favorite thing. You know we're in space, right? You just did it again? Oh shit. Like this house is like floating on a planet. Yeah. If you jump up high enough, you can just float off into the space.
Starting point is 00:21:29 You should try right now. Yeah, here we go. Wee! We live in Star Trek essentially. Yeah. Bye. We're taking a break, bye. Does Star Trek, oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:21:44 Tired of not being able to get a hold of anyone when you have questions about your credit card? Well, with 24-7 US-based live customer service from Discover, everyone has the option to talk to a real person anytime, day or night. Yes, you heard that right! You can talk to a human on the Discover customer service team anytime. So the next time you have a question about your credit card, call 1-800-DISCOVER
Starting point is 00:22:13 to get the service you deserve. Limitations apply, see terms at discover.com slash credit card. Hey everyone, here's a hot tip for your summer reading list. If you loved Crazy Rich Asians, you're in for a treat. Kevin Kwan is back with his latest novel, Lies and Weddings. Lies and Weddings brings us to a decadent Hawaiian wedding where a forbidden love affair erupts vulcanically. It's the perfect summer beach read, hilarious, entertaining, and impossible to put down. It's like Crazy Rich Asians meets the White Lotus. Lies and Weddings is a globe-treading tale
Starting point is 00:22:44 that whisks you from the black sand beaches of Hawaii to Marrakesh and from the glitzy scenes of Los Angeles to the inner sanctums of England's oldest family estates. Throughout the story, Kwan weaves a juicy, sophisticated, and thrillingly plotted story of love, money, murder, sex, and the lies we tell about them all. As the New York Times put it, the author of Crazy Rich Asians returns with another B-Tradie confection starring pampered people in designer clothing behaving badly, this time at a decadent Hawaiian wedding
Starting point is 00:23:13 where secrets erupt with the force and heat of lava. So don't wait, grab your copy of lies and weddings wherever you buy books. I'm Sam Smith and welcome to The Pink House. I love being in The Pink House with you. Join me as I talk to my friends and some amazing queer icons about their idea of home, like Elliot Page, Joakim Booster and Gloria Estefan. Music was always my escape.
Starting point is 00:23:38 It was my happy place. The Pink House from Lemonada Media is out now. Follow wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. Does Star Trek know where they are? Because they could be in Florida. Does Star Trek know where they are? This is a great question. Does Star Trek know where they are? Because they could be in Florida. Does Star Trek know where they are? This is a great question. Does Star Trek know where they are? Cause they could be in Florida. I'm going to say, do they ever talk about maps
Starting point is 00:24:11 or coordinates or anything? There's two famous episodes of Star Trek where they talk about maps. Right. One is called maps. Right, right, right. The song maps is based on that. The other one is called Fold It Up.
Starting point is 00:24:21 Fold It Up. Right, oh, I thought it was Fold Ed Up. Oh, it's Fold It Up. Fold It Up. Right, oh, I thought it was Fold Dead Up. Oh, it's Fold It Up. Oh, that makes sense. The only Star Trek I've seen is the one episode I watched for a podcast that I was doing with was it Alice in Wonderland? Alice in Wonderland and Veronica Losorio.
Starting point is 00:24:38 You gotta do Newcomer Star Trek. No, I don't. And why not? There's five billion episodes. No, you pick one episode of the original series. I'm not doing that. One episode of Next Generation, and then some of the movies,
Starting point is 00:24:52 and then one episode of Voyager. There just has to be a line. I don't think so. You don't think so? What are you, the Star Trek gatekeeper? As a matter of fact, I am. You piece of shit. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:25:01 But what I will say is the episode I watched was all about this little alien boy going to- Clint Howard? Going to get baseball cards. Oh. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. American memorabilia that was off-changed. Is that DS9?
Starting point is 00:25:13 Or is that- I don't know. And I was actually charmed by how much it was just an 80s, 90s sitcom. Yes. It was like, he just- Oh, and then we had you on our podcast. Was that a different episode?
Starting point is 00:25:23 So I must have watched another one. I think that was the one. Oh, okay. It was the baseball cards one. Then, and then we had you on our podcast. Yeah, was it a different episode? So I must've watched another one. I think that was the one. Oh, okay. It was the baseball cards one. Then I must've watched a different one. Yes. I've seen two.
Starting point is 00:25:30 What if you just did the movies? No. You know what? We got our next two seasons lots and loaded. Come on, man, no. But just because you love something, now they can't ruin it? We don't ruin everything.
Starting point is 00:25:43 They don't ruin everything. We like a lot of things. We like a lot of things. We like a lot of stuff. I just don't think it's too big of a universe, I think, to make it worthwhile. Technically, Batman is in the same universe as Star Trek. What? They haven't crossed over yet,
Starting point is 00:26:05 but there's a bunch of clues out there. What are the clues? Well, technically every TV show is in the same universe. Two clues? Yeah. Okay, remember that one episode called, I think Bruce Wayne is Batman? Oh shit, that's right.
Starting point is 00:26:16 I think Bruce Wayne is Batman. I remember it was, it was Benjamin Sisko. Who thought that? Sisko. The billionaire. I think Bruce Wayne is bad. I remember it was Cisco Cisco the billionaire That's my Quite honestly Jeremy Cisco no Benjamin Cisco You're thinking of Jeremy Sisto. Thank you. I was like, why does that sound wrong? From six feet under. Jeremy Crisco? Clue less.
Starting point is 00:26:47 Was he in Clue Less? Yeah. What was he in Clue Less? He's one of the popular guys. He's like the guy who has a crush on Cher. I remember so little about that movie. You're almost clueless yourself. She's like, you have a picture of Ty in your locker. He's like, I have the picture you took in my locker.
Starting point is 00:27:01 What? That's the moment when she finds out. It's romance, bud. He tries to kiss Sharon. She's like, what? You you you love Ty. You have the picture of Ty in your locker. He goes, I have the picture you took in my locker. She took the picture of Ty. Right.
Starting point is 00:27:13 And put it in his locker. OK, up because he she thought, oh, why? Because she took the picture. OK, that's insane. Right. Absolutely. Because like, I was real. He needs to go to hell. The actor. Yeah. The actor and the character. I did. And they should meet each other in hell.
Starting point is 00:27:30 Why did you be called the two people you meet in hell? Game night or whatever with him. That show that was like a game show. It's still on. I can't remember what it's called. Hollywood Game Night. Yeah. With Jane Lynch as the host. Yeah, but now it's she's the weakest link. Goodbye. Now it's Jerry O'Connell. Oh really? And she does weakest link.
Starting point is 00:27:48 They're just gonna switch off doing things from now until the end of time. I hope so. Yeah. I hope that she'll end up on the chat. What is it called? The talk. The talk.
Starting point is 00:27:58 Is he on the talk? He is. Good for him. Yeah. He loves reality TV. He loves it. He loves Bravo. He loves the Bravoverse. He goes to the BravoCon. He loves it. He loves Bravo. He loves the Bravoverse.
Starting point is 00:28:06 He goes to the BravoCon. He does. How bad do you think the BravoCon is? I don't know. Should we go and record an episode? I have friends who've gone, but they're mostly people who are involved with the network in one form or another.
Starting point is 00:28:19 Right, right, right, right. So I don't- Who are paid to be there? I don't know if they're- Like your friend the Countess, Lleweth. My friend's the Smith sisters who have a serious ex. I'm yes, of course That's all in the same world. Of course. Yeah, are you friends with all of the sister on Bravo? And yes radio Andy I am all of them. I became friends with Lauren first through tumblr in
Starting point is 00:28:39 Talking about my friends sisters They have a daily serious exam show called Smith sisters live. That's like hilarious and great if you have serious XM. But I do, I'm a subscriber. You'll enjoy it very much. Oh, I better tune into that. Yeah, I met Lauren and through Tumblr. And then over the years became friends
Starting point is 00:29:01 with her sisters as well. So yes, equally friends with all. Do you think they would say the same well. So yes, I am equally friends with all of them. Do you think they would say the same? Yeah. That we're all equally friends? Is it possible to be equally friends with siblings? I'm just telling you it is. Hmm.
Starting point is 00:29:16 You saying that brings up an interesting question. Is it possible? Because I don't believe it. Because we're in a text chain all day, every day, the four of us. You have so many text chains, how do you have the time? Do I ever come up? I love texting.
Starting point is 00:29:29 Do you ever come up? Yeah. I don't think so. Not ever? Dang. I doubt it, I doubt it. You never tell them a story that involves me or anything? No, I do, I do.
Starting point is 00:29:40 Okay. Actually, actually, yesterday. Just lie. You came up yesterday. You came up yesterday. What did I do? Because I shared a actually, you came up yesterday. You came up yesterday. What did I do? Because I shared a screenshot that you shared with me. Okay, I'll accept it.
Starting point is 00:29:53 Did they respond like Paul's the greatest? They were just like, can you believe that guy? He's amazing. For taking that screen grab. That's amazing. Okay. They were very into it. Didn't they used to be called screen caps at some point? That's amazing. Okay. They were very into it. Didn't they used to be called screen caps at some point?
Starting point is 00:30:08 I hope so. It's like a screen cap. It's like a screen cap that was on the computer. Okay. I might be wrong. So wait, the mobile aspect of it makes it a grab instead of a cap? Why don't we find out? Okay, so there's screen grab, screen cap, and screenshot. And I feel like now we all say screenshot. Oh, a screen cap is a still image from a movie, TV show, or video. Oh. A screen grab.
Starting point is 00:30:33 Grab is a... That seems like it would be from a computer. Essentially the same thing. Oh, okay. No, screen grabs and screenshots are the same thing. Okay. An image that captures the screen of your computer, phone or digital device at any given moment.
Starting point is 00:30:47 I see. So screen grab and screenshot. Same thing. Yeah. What you just screen screen. Caps is is when you're just taking the image from a movie or something. You know, isn't it annoying how on your computer, if you try to screen cap a movie you're watching, it just is black. It just blocks. I'm like, let me take a, okay, you know I can use my phone
Starting point is 00:31:10 to take a picture of it. Yeah. Just let me. Just let me do it. Let me just, just let me do it. Don't you want this to go viral? It's gonna go viral. Please let me send a funny text to my friend. That phrase is used to lose, like people will be like,
Starting point is 00:31:23 just someone on my explore page. I post, here's another one of these, cause the last one went viral. I go look at the last one, it has 7,000 likes. I'm like, that's not fucking viral. I had, I went through the exact same thing with somebody, some like posts that I saw and it was, I swear to God, like 250 likes or responses.
Starting point is 00:31:43 And I was like, that's not viral at all. It's not viral to them. It's viral to them. And this is what we have to talk about. But it's not viral to you. It's a busy day on your phone for you. It's not viral. You're not going to be on Good Morning America. No, we should establish.
Starting point is 00:31:57 We're talking about people who've been made into memes, they're viral. Yeah. We should establish what viral is. The lady who tries something, she doesn't like it, then she thinks about it again. That's exactly who I'm thinking of. And she was just on Caleb Herron's new podcast, and she was very funny. Really? Yeah, we should establish what? Tried something she doesn't like it And she was just on Caleb Heron's new podcast and she's really yeah, so I guess you know Good for her. I have a I have a part of my TV show is used a lot by
Starting point is 00:32:16 It's me with the captain's hat saying welcome aboard like a lot of people use it We intend viral so I don't know that it's viral But like when it's when it's gotten to the point where like weirdo right-wing people use it to be like oh you're red-pilled welcome aboard. I think my image has been used in that way and gif form. Someone sent me something. Are you a robot? My image has been used in that way. My body is unavailable for such actions. I, one of my favorite things to do is to send a gif of myself to people. Yeah. Yeah. That's, it's a real power move.
Starting point is 00:32:50 But then people, I would, I would do it all the time because we have so many from the CBB TV show. And then I started to feel like, I started to feel like people thought it was a bragging thing because no one ever responded like, oh, ha ha, funny. Like people you knew? Yeah. Yeah. I, like, I've started to feel like people thought it was a bragging thing because no one ever responded like, Oh, ha ha funny. Like people you knew? Yeah. Yeah. I started to feel like people thought it was me flexing. But it's like everyone that you're probably texting probably has a gift. With me, everyone.
Starting point is 00:33:15 You? Or fuck me? No, fuck you. Oh, fuck me? Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck me? Fuck you.
Starting point is 00:33:23 The great David Caruso in the movie Session Nine, I think. Session Nine? Yeah, where it's like a horror movie, I guess. Is it like a recent one after CSI Miami? Oh, for sure. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is when his movie career was, this is after his movie career.
Starting point is 00:33:41 Oh no, no, it's pre-CSI Miami. This is after NYPD Blue, his movie career was supposed to take off. And he did kiss of death and Jade. Yeah. Tanked it. Yes. And then he was reduced to doing this movie, which was he and some other dudes are, are doing your eyes are glazing over. I was like, they're crossed. I was like, David Caruso newcomer. I'm trying to catch up. You watch all of them. the first season of NYDB.
Starting point is 00:34:05 And then DB, and then DB, and then DB, and then DB, and then DB, and then DB, and then DBSV, dooby dooby dooby. Tell me about Session 9. They're working in this, uh, doing like some construction work or something on this old insane asylum. And of course spooky things start happening. And, but at one point, and I cannot remember what leads to this, but David Caruso looks at somebody who's about to
Starting point is 00:34:43 be on right into the mic while he's talking. Somebody's about to ending made a noise. I didn't expect somebody threatening him or attack or about to attack and he goes, fuck you. Just like this. You know what? Let's get it on mic. Let's hear it. You want me to get it now? Okay. Yeah's get it on mic. Let's hear it. Or you want me to do it. Get it now. It's like I'm listening to an ad. Okay, yeah. Get it on, I want to hear this. If you can find it.
Starting point is 00:35:09 If it's possible to find it, I want you to find it. If anybody can find it, I can. Do you think there's anything that's not possible? You know, there are theories that the multiverse exists because everything is possible. So anything you can think of is out there in a different universe. Do you believe that? that's so stupid.
Starting point is 00:35:26 Do you believe that? You really believe that? No, I don't believe it. You really believe that every every maybe choice is possible. But like a leaf can't. Do you think there's five trillion versions of you doing different things in other in other you know, yeah, be cool. And one of them is happy. One?
Starting point is 00:35:46 I hope it's this one. Yeah, meanwhile, Paul here, doing his old searcheroo. Got it. Got it, whoa, OK. Let's hear this extremely funny fuck you. What the fuck was that? The tank! The tank! The tank!
Starting point is 00:36:05 Okay, okay. Jeff, Mike, go downstairs and make sure he doesn't turn around. You, you come with me. Mike. Fuck you. It wasn't really quite what you made it out to be. It wasn't quite, but if you could see the face. I couldn't.
Starting point is 00:36:21 Because the face really, that's why I said if, dear. But it was like, you're right there with the phone and I yet somehow never saw it. The fact that he goes, hey, and then the guy turns around. I mean the hey is an extra layer. You're giving the you a lot more flair and I'm not mad at it, I'm just letting you know.
Starting point is 00:36:43 Lauren, I wanna say I'm trying my best today. I'm really trying my best today. Oh my God, so you're really at the end of your rope right now. I'm wearing on fumes. Oh my God. I'm trying. Okay, so you're doing a really good job. Or just in general.
Starting point is 00:36:56 Everything, everything. Oh my God, I got lumped into that. You're part of the reason that I'm hanging by a thread. Hey, how's your little squirrel cam going? I've been neglecting it. The fuck? No, not your cam. I know.
Starting point is 00:37:10 I gotta get back on. Neglecting it meaning what? You're not checking the footage or it's not even taking footage? You're not giving them corn cobs? I'm not giving them... I've never given them corn cobs. Do you remember? Did you ever do this in school?
Starting point is 00:37:23 Where you put like a ribbon on like a corn cob and then you like decorate it. You put, you roll it in peanut butter and put like seeds all over it, then you hang it in a tree. What the fuck? You put a ribbon. What?
Starting point is 00:37:34 A ribbon. Ribbon, oh, oh. Ribbit, ribbit? Ribbit. What's on a present? A ribbon. A ribbon. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:43 So you put a ribbon. Wrap it up in a nice pretty ribbit. You put a ribbit on like a corn cob or an acorn or like a pine cone or something and you dip it in peanut butter and then you put seeds all over it and then the squirrels come and eat it. It was a thing we did. I don't know if that's bad. That's weird.
Starting point is 00:38:00 It was something we did. Pine cone is cool. That seems like a trick on the squirrel. Yeah because then he's like look at at all this being a better crunch. Ow, my teeth, they all fall out. Clang, clang, clang. Corn and peanut butter go together great. It must not be.
Starting point is 00:38:11 Well, I don't know that they care about the flavors that much. Are you kidding me? You don't think animals care about flavors? They don't have a good palate? No, I think they care about flavors. I don't think it's the same way that we interpret flavors.
Starting point is 00:38:21 I did the Pepsi challenge with my squirrels. Really, how did they react? They all picked Pepsi. Can we talk about how amazing I did in that? You did amazing. I mean, other than not knowing the rules, you were great. But I guess all the pups. You smashed that. Had you just paid attention to the first part,
Starting point is 00:38:36 it would have been a clean sweep. But I don't care about that part. I don't think that part was right. It's what we established. The reality recap, yeah. Have you watched the Australian traders? No, I don't. I don't think I'm going to have time for it. Honestly, it's worth it. The best, really?
Starting point is 00:38:52 I wouldn't say it's the best. Well, then I don't have time for it. What's the best? Best is. Boy. Best is. Give me the, I only watch the best of anything. Well, no, UK and American are tied, I would say. So the. I only look at luxury cars.
Starting point is 00:39:07 I only watch the best picture every year. That makes sense. You know what? There's probably like really, really bland people who do that. Well, I mean, where they go like, I'll just see whatever wins. Best, whatever wins. Pictures. Yeah. And then they're like, oh, Barbie didn't know. I'm not going to one movie a year. I bet you there's somebody.
Starting point is 00:39:27 It came out last year. The day after the Oscars. Do you, it feels like somebody who'd be like, I only go to the highest end restaurant. I watched the best movie of the year. I live my life by reviews and not my personal experience. And they think it's like cool. Yeah, someone said to me once about.
Starting point is 00:39:44 They think it's like cool? Someone said to said to me once about- They think it's like cool? Someone said to me once about eating, they were like, okay, make yourself- Chew and then you swallow. Yeah, yeah. And it's like, okay. And you have to do it every day. Not the reverse.
Starting point is 00:39:54 But, but okay, so, you know, if you're going to cheat off your diet, make it something like really, really good. Yeah. Don't just be like, Oh, I'm going to snack. Oh, here's a bunch of chips or whatever. Like, like go, go somewhere and make it, make a bit, you know, have like the highest end. What person said this to you?
Starting point is 00:40:15 I know. And that's so like, that's so, it has so much foresight. Like you're like, I want to cheat on my diet tomorrow at eight. Yeah. It feels like it has to be. Cheat on my diet with a full meal. It's like, I think chips are pretty great. Chips are, yes, that's cheating on your diet. You know what I love that I don't feel like is around enough?
Starting point is 00:40:36 You. Me. Chips that are dipped in chocolate. Those are so fucking good. I don't know that I've ever had chocolate covered potato chips. I don't think I've ever had that. They sound like. Those are so fucking good. I don't know that I've ever had a potato chips. I don't think I've ever had that. Oh, we gotta do a taste test.
Starting point is 00:40:48 I've had chocolate covered pretzels, of course. They sell them at Trader Joe's. That makes sense. And they're really rich and crazy. Are they like Trader Wonka or something like that? Trader Liam's chocolate dipped potatoes. Trader Jonka. Trader Jonka.
Starting point is 00:41:03 Jonka. Toompaajumpas. I don't mind how they talk to you a lot at Trader Joe's. This has come up recently on a couple things. I've been in, since I used to live in my old old place, right next to it. So what are they doing now? Well, it's part of their hair book that they chat with you a lot. You know, it's like kind of-
Starting point is 00:41:26 They say, what do you believe in God? Who are you voting for? Yeah, since you're a child. How much do you weigh? Since I'm a child. How much do you weigh? How much money do you make? They're often like,
Starting point is 00:41:35 what do you have to do later today? How's your day going? What's the weirdest thing you've ever done in the bedroom? Or they'll be like, this snack is really good. I love this one. Is there a bag? You know, that kind of thing.
Starting point is 00:41:44 I like it. I don't mind. I had this one. Is there a bag? You know, that kind of thing. I like it. I don't mind it. I had one the other day that was, it was too much. And I was like, it was like, she couldn't tell that I, I was being nice. I mean, I wasn't being trying to be rude, but I felt like it was like, I'm not trying to do this right now.
Starting point is 00:42:01 Like it was like so much. And like opinions about what I was saying. Like it was like so much and like opinions about what I was saying where I was like. I actually don't want people judging what I'm buying. Well, she was asking me questions about what I was buying. What's it for? Cause it was like a lot of stuff. It's like, oh, is this for this?
Starting point is 00:42:16 Well, this was like duct tape and twine and. Yeah. She's like, what are we gonna do with this? We don't even sell this here. I was selling quick line. Buying. I'm hanging by a thread. The other night we were at a restaurant.
Starting point is 00:42:30 Day or night? It was night. What, when was it, Scott? Honestly, it was six. So it was bright as hell. It was bright as hell in here. Now we were at a restaurant and we ordered drinks and Cool Up ordered, you know,
Starting point is 00:42:44 off the specialty menu of drinks and ordered this drink. And the waiter said, great choice. And I went, oh, okay. She made a good choice. And then I ordered my drink and he went, another great choice. And suddenly it's suspect, isn't it? Because he's just saying great choice
Starting point is 00:42:58 because we're ordering off the specialty menu or something. I don't know. And now you couldn't be proud of your wife anymore. Yeah, my wife. As Laura would say. But I couldn't be proud of your wife anymore. Yeah. My wife, as Laura would say. But I couldn't trust anything he was saying. No, of course not. No, you lose faith. This guy's a liar.
Starting point is 00:43:10 Yeah. He's obsequious. Yeah. But what if he didn't say anything? What if he in his head was like, oh shit, he made a bad choice? I just want him to be honest. Here's what I would. OK, I'll be the waiter. OK. And will you be cool up? Sure. And will you be you?
Starting point is 00:43:26 Yeah. All right. Are we thinking drinks before dinner? Let me go first. Honey. I love wine. You know, I asked you before the, Shut up.
Starting point is 00:43:36 I asked you before I could go first. No, get back. No, you get over here, you asshole. I will have the grapefruit martini. Oh, great choice. Thank you. Okay, I'll have the little miss Muffet. Huh.
Starting point is 00:43:50 Something to matter? Tell him what you're thinking. I'll be right back with the things. No, no, tell him what you're thinking. No, no, is that not a good choice? Not for me to say, sir. It's your choice? But you said it regarding her choice.
Starting point is 00:44:02 That was for me to say. So if it's a good choice, it's for you to say. If it's a bad choice, it's not for you to say. If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Okay, well, I want to switch my drink. I want to have what she's having. Great choice. A fake orgasm.
Starting point is 00:44:14 She did it before he came to the table. Do you think that lady knew it was fake? That's an interesting question. I don't think anyone's ever talked about that before. It's Billy Crystal's mom. No, it's Rob Reiner's mom. Thank you. You're welcome. Men need to correct you on more things. I appreciate it. So in the world of When Harry Met Sally, yeah, is this lady making a joke or is she legitimately thinking whatever that woman had at that table made her order? She ate a pastrami sandwich that made her come.
Starting point is 00:44:49 Yeah, I'll have that. I think in the universe. I also want to come in public. I mean, we don't see what we don't see is that woman getting her order and then having to do that. That's that's a sketch. See I think in the world of this movie, she's like, she doesn't want to insult the cook, so she's like, or she's, or she's complains. Like it's like,
Starting point is 00:45:15 marches back to the kitchen. Hey, how come I didn't get the cum sandwich? What did you leave out of this? All right, we have to take a break. Are you a pop culture connoisseur with strong opinions? Join us on Pop Culture Debate Club, a new podcast from Lemonada Media and the BBC. Each week, two pop culture experts battle it out to convince me, Amina Tussaud, that their opinion reigns supreme. What is the greatest sports movie of all time? Who made the most delicious on-screen meal?
Starting point is 00:45:53 Tune in every Thursday to find out. Pop Culture Debate Club is out June 27th, wherever you get your podcasts from Lemonada Media and the BBC. And we're back. And it's time for a three-cher, guys. Can you believe that such a thing would occur? Let me explain this to the listener. Yeah, these dummies who don't understand this concept. A three-cher is where we play a game.
Starting point is 00:46:21 And that game is... Why don't we just call it a game? Hmm? Why don't we just call it a game? Why don't we just call it a game? Because we promised we were gonna have a feature on the show from the very beginning and then for fun we call it a threacher. Oh right.
Starting point is 00:46:35 Got it. Also we misunderstood what feature meant. Right, right, right, yeah. And it just became a game. Right, okay, now I understand. I think there was a point where it could have gone in multiple directions. It could have been anything Yeah, but for some reason we stuck to the idea that it's always gonna be a game. Yeah Well, we're 200 and whatever episodes in now. We can't change it
Starting point is 00:46:56 No, we can't change so we're so so is there anything more to explain or this is a type of game that you would play in The car or you play in a living room you play in a part of should you not look where you're going when you're in the car and you should just play this game? No, the beauty of this is you can look where you're going and still play the game. Still play. Isn't that beautiful? Can you be over the legal limit of alcohol? Yes, you should be.
Starting point is 00:47:18 Okay. In the car. If you're in the back seat. In the back seat, great. But you shouldn't be carrying the alcohol. No. You should have drank it all at the bar or at home. Finish it before you get in the back seat. In the back seat, great. But you shouldn't be carrying the alcohol. No. You should have drank it all at the bar or at home.
Starting point is 00:47:27 Finish it before you get in the car. Or it should be in the trunk. You imagine getting really drunk at home. Yeah, just hide it under a shirt. That's what I would do. Hide it under a shirt. Yeah. Okay, so this is, this is called dumb.
Starting point is 00:47:39 Can you imagine being really drunk at home in what? Ha ha ha ha. And not enjoying it? And then going. Sounds great. But then going, Sounds great. But then going somewhere. But I guess people do it all the time. I've been drunk in a year at this point.
Starting point is 00:47:49 It's like sucks. It sucks. Look, in a few weeks you can get drunk all you want. Well, not exactly. All you want. Yeah, but a yes. Not exactly, but a yes. Yeah, but a yes.
Starting point is 00:47:59 Well, but yeah. Okay, so this is called Dumb Over Under. It's been submitted by Michael Bliss. Thank you, Michael Bliss. Truly, you are ignorance. Yes. Change your name, Michael Ignorance. And then people will go like, why'd you change your name?
Starting point is 00:48:16 Your middle name is IZ. Michael is Blizz. But you changed his name to Ignorance. Michael is Blizz? Is Blizz. But he changed his name to ignorance. Michael is Blizz? Is Blizz. If the middle name is IZ. When did he change his name to ignorance? You said he changed his name to ignorance.
Starting point is 00:48:35 And then you're saying Michael is Blizz. You said he changed his name to ignorance. Michael is Blizz. Michael is Blizz. Okay, so here are the rules. Two people are playing against each other based on what the third person says. Oh, no. OK. Persons one and two come up with a question. Persons one and two say you and I, Lauren, come up with a question to ask Paul
Starting point is 00:48:58 that they wouldn't know something like and the answer should be a number. Something like how many gallons of water are in the Pacific Ocean? Okay. Or how many lights are there on the Vegas Strip? Okay, Paul then makes a guess and is locked in. Okay. Okay, and he tells us what it is. You can't alter the answer.
Starting point is 00:49:17 Now, you and I, Lauren, then play over under with what they think the answer is. So, and then we make our guesses. And- Whoever's closest without going over? No, just if we're over, if we're correct about it being over or under. We get a-
Starting point is 00:49:38 It's like school. Me explaining this to you or the- Well- Both. Here's my question. Is it more fun if we try to get closer? So what you're saying is we should just play a game where whoever's closest without going over
Starting point is 00:49:53 wins. So you can't say, I think there's 10 gallons in the Pacific Ocean. That's not this game. I think it's more. Well, then if you just said 10, then we would both say over, and we would both get points. And you want to keep us from getting points.
Starting point is 00:50:05 Oh, but here's what it, here's what it could be. Because you're going to be, the next time you're going to be getting points yourself. Don't make it sound like that. Like I'm trying to prevent you. Why don't we play it the way that the person wanted us to play it. Michael Bliss, you got your wish. Let's play it, let's play it the way ignorance wants it played.
Starting point is 00:50:20 And Michael is Blizz. I-I-B. Okay, so we got to come up, Lauren, we have to come up with-B. Okay, so we gotta come up, Lauren, we have to come up with a number. Okay, I have one. Oh, you have one, okay, go ahead and ask. How many lights are on the Eiffel Tower? I wasn't gonna say Las Vegas.
Starting point is 00:50:35 I just thought it made me think of the Eiffel Tower. How many lights are on the Eiffel Tower? When it sparkles up. By the way, I hope when we think of these, we can actually look them up and they're real lights. I'm sure you can. And then what happens? One of those, I guess a number. you guess, I guess, how many you guess and make it a good guess because you guess over or under that amount.
Starting point is 00:50:51 Okay. I'm going to say 10,000. Wow. 10,000. Okay. Wow. What a great answer. Wow.
Starting point is 00:51:02 Wow. Wow. Okay. Now we have to talk about, we talk great answer. Wow. Wow. Wow. Okay, now we have to. Independently. We talk about why we think this. Oh no, really? We have to say over or under. Oh no.
Starting point is 00:51:13 I'm going to go with. I didn't know this was like a feelings game. I'm going to go with under. Why are you going with under? It just sounded like a really high number to me. Right. And I was thinking more in a 5,000 range, but that might be not enough at all.
Starting point is 00:51:29 Okay, so you're going under. Okay, so when I went to the Eiffel Tower, not as big as you would think. Mm-hmm. It's only seven feet tall. Yeah, honestly, it's all perspective, like the Indiana Jones boulder. I met a comedy bang bang fan
Starting point is 00:51:44 while I was sitting at the Eiffel Tower. I'm so sorry. Was it me? Fucking sucked. So it's not it's not as tall as I thought it would be, but it is tall. But 10,000, I think 10,000 seems low to me. OK, so I'm going to go. Over how many lights are on the Eiffel Tower? seems low to me. Okay. So I'm gonna go over.
Starting point is 00:52:05 How many lights are on the Eiffel Tower? You took a screenshot. I didn't mean to, but the answer is 20,000. Wow! 20,000. Wow! Okay, so Scott gets a point. I get a point. Okay. Congrats.
Starting point is 00:52:22 Thank you. Next one. All right, so now it goes to, Paul and I are gonna ask you a point. Okay. Congrats. Thank you. Next one. All right, so now it goes to, Paul and I are gonna ask you a question. Okay. So Paul, can you think of one or let's see. I can think of one. I can't believe I said 5,000.
Starting point is 00:52:38 I hate myself. How many times has the person struck by lightning the most the person struck by lightning the most times been struck by lightning? How many times have you been masturbated? I'm gonna say. It's such a good setup for a non sequitur. How many times has the person who has been struck
Starting point is 00:52:58 by lightning the most times masturbated? Unfortunately we can't look it up. We can guess and the answers gotta be five times. Three times the person one one person has been struck by lightning three times. She's saying three. All right. I'm going to go. You're talking. I'm going to go. This is tough. Yeah, because you would think three times would be crazy, but I also feel like I've heard about people
Starting point is 00:53:31 being struck by lightning more than that. I'm gonna say over. And then do I say anything? You can say over or under. You say over or under. I'm gonna say over. You're saying over as well. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:41 All right, Lauren. The answer is Roy Sullivan was struck by lightning seven times more than any other person. All right, Lauren. The answer is Roy Sullivan was struck by lightning seven times more than any other person. All right. The park ranger guy. We got to lock him up and find out his secrets. He keeps running into open fields, holding an umbrella aloft and a key. This is crazy. He's the Guinness World Record
Starting point is 00:54:03 in the category of most lightning strikes survived. Congrats. Now is it like an older looking guy, Park Ranger? And he's like, yes! You know this? I remember this from when I was a child. I can't believe he still holds the record. Wow. Okay, great. All right, by the way, it can't be something we know. Yeah, because you're guessing. Okay. You know what? But I don't think that's fair. You didn't know. I didn't know the number and I thought, I thought there must have been somebody who, I just want to clear up any confusion the listeners may have. Paul didn't know the answer, the number.
Starting point is 00:54:33 So he gets to keep his point. Yes. Okay. Now Scott is going to ask a question of- No, no, no, you're asking a question of me. But I already asked a question. Well, Paul can think of it or whatever. Oh, it doesn't matter who asked it. You guys both asked me a question. All right, Paul can think of it or whatever. Oh, it doesn't matter who asked it. You guys both asked me a question.
Starting point is 00:54:45 All right, fine, fine, fine, whatever. Let's ask something about money. What is the most expensive guitar? How much? How much is it? How much is the most expensive guitar ever sold, I guess? Sure. Or for sale now? Well, anything can be on eBay.
Starting point is 00:55:04 They just write. Anything can be on eBay. They just write. Anything can be on eBay. Well, they list Beanie Babies for $10,000. It doesn't mean someone's buying it. Okay, most expensive guitar ever sold. I guess that's the retail. It could be a bass guitar as well. I'm thinking of like Paul McCartney.
Starting point is 00:55:16 Why don't we narrow it down? Most expensive bass guitar ever sold. No. Just guitar. Okay, fine. Just guitar. Okay, I guitar. OK, just guitar. OK, I'm going to say I don't even know if one would go for a million. It seems too much for a guitar. But like, oh, man, there are crazy fucking people out there.
Starting point is 00:55:38 That's the truth. I'm going to say I'm going to say 275,000. Oh, I'm going to go over. I I'm gonna go over as well. Okay, I think I'm sure there's some weird fucking thing out there. Yeah, I mean if we're opening it up You said it's so quick like selling at an auction or something. I am yeah, so Ever sold the answer is whoa One dollar The answer is, whoa. One dollar. Bob Barker's guitar.
Starting point is 00:56:09 How much would you have guessed? I was thinking half a million dollars. Two million. Six million. Whoa. The guitar that Kurt Cobain played during MTV Unplugged. Oh sure, because he died in a horrific way. That's sad.
Starting point is 00:56:27 Six million. All right, you both get points. I moved. I was not a good guesser because you both immediately set over. I think what we're trying to do is set the line. I moved to Los Angeles the day his body was discovered. Really?
Starting point is 00:56:40 And isn't that convenient? So you weren't there is what you're saying? Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. And isn't that convenient? So you weren't there, is what you're saying? Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Or you... You did something a few days earlier and you skipped town. I just moved here. See, my couch is going into that apartment right now.
Starting point is 00:57:00 I was on my way to the airport to fly here. And I heard the news. And isn't that interesting? I remember I was walking down the street in New York City when Michael Jackson died. I was in the park watching the bird and the bee when Michael Jackson died. But I remember that Kurt Cobain-
Starting point is 00:57:15 I was at Neverland Ranch when Michael Jackson died. And you just moved there. I remember I was taking- You were disappointed because you thought you were going to hang out. I remember I was taking a gas mask off somebody's face. Oh my God. Okay.
Starting point is 00:57:29 I remember the Kurt Cobain thing. I was working at the Olive Garden and they, Restaurant round. They would play the radio sometimes, very, Fun! If you were good. In the kitchen. Oh sure.
Starting point is 00:57:42 Okay, you get to hear one song. Very sort of as a low volume, they would play whatever radio station. I remember they played K-Rock and just turned it up and it was all just like Nirvana songs back to back to back. All right, I'm going to ask, okay, now it's for us to Paul. How many movies as of this recording has Robert De Niro been in? Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:58:08 Oh wow. I'm going to say. This includes cameos and all that kind of. Oh, believe me, I'm including them. Yeah. You're counting the cameos right now. He did that one, he did that one. I've done cameos, can you milk me?
Starting point is 00:58:24 I'm gonna say, this is a that one. He did that one. I've done cameos. Can you milk me? I'm going to say, let's not, this is a hard one. 75. 75. Okay. Lauren major motion pictures. Yeah. Well, I'm not counting student films. I'm just going to ask how many movies has he been in? 75. 75. Okay. Lauren over or under? Here's the thing. Mm-hmm. It feels like it's a lot, but it also feels like he's specific with his choices. He's not just in a movie every day.
Starting point is 00:58:59 Yeah, like Rocky and Bullwinkle. Okay. I'm gonna go under. Lauren's going under. But just barely. Okay. It doesn't matter. So this means it's a good choice because you're deliberate. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:18 And me too. I'm gonna go over. I just feel like he's been doing it for now 50 years and he does at least two a year. Let's look it up. How many movies, oh no I spelled many wrong. How many movies has Robert De Niro done? At least 113. Whoa!
Starting point is 00:59:40 I won! Damn. No? I wish I had said over because then I would have been right. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
Starting point is 00:59:49 oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh to Lauren, Paul, do you have something? No. Okay. How many, okay, how many countries are there in Africa? Oh God. Okay. Mike and I were working on memorizing countries during the pandemic and he actually memorized all of Africa and he could do it fully. Wow.
Starting point is 01:00:29 So he would know, I'm gonna say 50. 50 countries in Africa, Paul, no, I go first. No, it feels like too many. No, hold on. You're locked in. You're locked in. I'm gonna go under. I feel like 50 many, no, hold on. I feel like not enough. You're locked in, you're locked in. I'm gonna go under. I feel like 50 is too many.
Starting point is 01:00:49 That's why I'm going under. Yeah. Oh, that's interesting. Does that make sense? And that's how you got there, I get that. I'm trying to remember, did I count them when I blessed the rains down there? No.
Starting point is 01:01:03 I'm gonna say over. You're gonna say over. You're going to say over. I love it. Yeah. All right. Good. All right. Here we go.
Starting point is 01:01:11 How many countries are in Africa? Get this. 54. Wow. Oh my God. I'm so happy that I wasn't so far off because I did try to learn that. That was a great guess. That was a great guess.
Starting point is 01:01:28 Okay, now you guys ask me something and this will be your last one. Okay. Okay. Do you have one? Can I say what the points are? No. You don't want to know?
Starting point is 01:01:36 Okay, great. I don't have one. Okay. My question is, how much is a current ticket to MoMA in New York? To MoMA? Yes. Very cultured question.
Starting point is 01:01:59 Yes. Hey, gosh. Okay, so here's- Just a full price, no discount, no special, whatever. Okay, I'm going to say, because I think they want people to go because it's for the public, so they wanna keep it low.
Starting point is 01:02:20 I'm gonna say 13.50. All right. I'm gonna say over50. All right. I'm gonna say over. Paul's going over. I'm also gonna say over. Lauren's going over. All right, admission price to MoMA. Kids 16 and under always get in free?
Starting point is 01:02:46 Okay. Don't care. Doesn't matter. Not the point of the question. Okay. Adults. Okay. This is at MoMA.
Starting point is 01:02:55 $30. Wow. That seems like it's too much. They don't want the riffraff. It does, but you know, I feel like they always have a free day or like there's some special The arts are very exclusionary. I guess so, but I thought that there were so many people there when I went that I thought it was just like, oh they're letting everyone in. Look at the way they're dressed. I had this feeling taking Holly to the aquarium. I was like, really? I gotta say,
Starting point is 01:03:19 Bubble Fest the other day was an extra $16 on top of our ticket. Anyway, I don't know. What's the extra $16? It was to get into bubble. The bubble fest part of the museum. It wasn't just the discovery cube. I've never been there. It's like the sphere, but a square. Yeah. All right. All right. Let's tally up the points. I like that game. Let's tally up the points. Lauren has two. Scott has three, Paul has four. Paul's the winner.
Starting point is 01:03:48 You won. I win the game. You went over. Paul, did you like it because you won? Yeah, I did. This is a great game. We should always play this one. Yeah, let's only ever play that.
Starting point is 01:03:58 But I think the way he said it was fun, right? I thought it was great. I'm glad we didn't take my modification that I made up and had no reason to say. Me too. Yeah. Thank you, Michael Bliss. Thank you, ignorance is. Michael is bliss. All right, that's going to do it for us. Listen, if you'd like to send us a feature like Michael did, a good one, why don't you write to us at freedomusa.gmail.com. And if you want to leave us a voicemail, why don't you do that shit at hagclaims8.com?
Starting point is 01:04:25 What? A website? Yes. Yeah. And then we respond to these voicemails on our 3mium episodes, which come out every other week on Wednesdays. Add on and around our 3mium episodes every other week, little episodes to tide you over. You can get those at CBB World and also Apple Podcasts Plus or Premium or something.
Starting point is 01:04:45 I don't know. Love it. And then every BPP. When will we learn what that is? I don't know. And then all of our previous episodes and ad-free episodes are on CBB World. Okay. You're so dumb.
Starting point is 01:04:55 I'm doing the heavy fucking lifting here. And then our previous episodes, if you want to listen to those and don't want to subscribe to CBB World, then we release one a week and it's called Three Visiting on the Twos. That's right. And then follow us on Instagram at threedomusa and write to us at threedomusa at gmail.com. The only thing left to say is we love you. And Paul and I are on tour right now, so come see us on the Comedy Banding Tour. Or the Varietopia Tour, whichever comes first.
Starting point is 01:05:22 Whichever is happening and only come to the first one. Don't come to both. Go in order. Yes. All right. That's going to be it. Lauren has final words for us. When you go outside, the number one thing you're going to want to pay attention to is the weather. It kind of just affects what you're going to wear and how comfortable you're going to be. Okay. We'll see you next time. Okay. I can't argue. We'll see you next time.
Starting point is 01:05:43 What do weddings, Instagram, and toxic relationships all have in common? They take your money and you can't get it back. 16 grand somewhere in there. Gone. There's no legal solution for the fact that you married an asshole. Welcome to The Dough. I'm X-Mayo. We're diving into the stories surrounding the moola baby.
Starting point is 01:06:09 The good, the bad, and the unexpected. Yeah, we talking about it all. The Dough is out now, wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm June Dayanne Raphael. And I'm Jessica St. Clair. And we would like to invite you on a hilarious and heartfelt journey each week on The Deep Dive. From navigating the chaos of motherhood and family to exploring the depths of grief and
Starting point is 01:06:38 loss, we are just two best friends who process life together and with you guys. Discover our secrets to finding joy amidst the madness and get ready for unfiltered conversations about life, love, and everything in between. And nails, we talk a lot about nails. Now community is everything to us at the Deep Dive. We believe in the power of connection and the strength that comes from supporting one another and we would love to have you with us. So be sure to join us every Wednesday on the Deep Dive
Starting point is 01:07:09 from Lemonade Media, wherever you get your podcasts.

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