Threedom - New Gnome Dropped Who Dis

Episode Date: April 6, 2023

Lauren, Paul and Scott talk about a new gnome, baseball and play Unprepared Pastor. Follow us on social media @threedomusa. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail]. Leave us a voicemail at 424-252-4678 (HAG-CLAIMS-8).

SREETA! BABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABAB I haven't been to the zoo lately. There's nobody here but us chickens. Hmm. I swear I heard some chickens. What's the origin of that? I think it's like a joke, right? I just remember it as a song. What could the joke actually be? I think it's that.

I think it's that a, somebody is saying nobody is here but us chickens giving away the fact that they're chicken. Oh, I see that they are like someone like the riddle or the joke would be Their once was like a rabbi Priest that's right and let's go chicken chicken Together yeah, yeah chicken was not already at the farm already at the farm. No, he's friends with the rap. And a chicken. I'll put their eyes up to a little hole in a farm. That's right. Porky style. Yeah. In a farm hole. In a farm hole. They're trying to see naked chickens. Yeah. And then, but they're trying to make it chicks.

Oh, and the wind. The wind all hide in the chicken. All of the women hide in there. And then they say, because they all will be like, towns people are upset that these religious people are so horny. Yeah, and then they say, the women inside say, there's nobody here but us, chicken.

That's right. So they're like, they're thinking that the rabbi, the priest, the chicken are gonna be like, ah, let's do it. But the chicken is really into it. The chicken is like, guys, let's stay. He's like, have you seen that breast meat?

Because these, the rabbi and the priests are of course, they believe in the supernatural. Yes, so they're supernatural. They're fooled into thinking these chickens can talk. Yes, yes, they think it's God's speaking through to anything. Yes, yes. Because their minds are so weak.

Wow. Oh, sorry. Do you have opinions about that? Hi, it's me Bill Mar. Oh, I think they're realigulous. Oh, I love that word. Welcome to the show. This is Thredo.

This sure is, I'm Paul. I'm Lauren. I'm Scott. I'm good at it. You know, I posted an update. Oh my god, he admitted it. I posted an update. Oh my god, he admitted it. I posted an update. Tell us about this update.

3D. D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D- Exclusive. Okay. Okay. Okay. This is a sincere question. Sure. Okay. Which is funnier now? The original guy in the sketch saying oh my god He admitted or are people saying oh my god. He admitted I don't know Tim Robinson. Yeah, I don't know. Um, I will I will also say that when we did comedian feud the the other night And you guys were not part of it. I mean, meaning me and Jason Mansoukis. Yes. And my team won. We all dabbed at the end. And it was very sad.

Oh, no, we're too weak to. I was like, can we dab? Okay, I was gonna say, was this agreed upon beforehand or was it? No, it was not pre-planned. Just in the moment, we all dabbed. Now, I need the visual picture. Who all is dabbing in this scenario? Yeah.

Okay, my team was me, Tim Balz. We picked everyone's school yard pick style, which has never been done on a show. No. And so Jason picked Lily Sullivan first, and then I wanted to break them up. Yeah, of course, I picked him. You have to.

Then he picked- There's two powerful of their tickets. When they got married, that really set back my efforts. So I was gonna have to try even harder. Yeah. Then he picked Lisa Gil're too powerful to be. They're too powerful to be. When they got married, that really set back my efforts. So it was a tough try even harder. Yeah. Then he picked Lisa Gilroy and I picked Vic. And I don't need to know who you didn't pick.

Okay. I just need to know who was fucking dabbing, dude. It was so much. Tim, Holly, Vic. And then we also had Sean. And we had, uh, God, I know who was the last person. had to be oh it was will hides okay. He's gonna love that yeah Oh, he was big blast oh I say who's pick last so you got him by default yes, and you forgot last we picked last we remember yeah that hurts

That being said I posted an update on the three-to-my-counts. This is a completely unrelated to what you were talking about Thank you. Why just cuz I said that being said, I posted an update on the three-dim accounts. This is a completely unrelated to what you were talking about. Thank you. Why? Just because I said that being said, you know. Let's make everything unrelated this episode. Oh, okay. Okay. So no, no, no.

No, no, no. No, no. No, no. No, no, no. That's a good challenge. I think I've already do it. But so I posted on a three-dim account the other day because I was at Target. Oh, that's why.

Yeah, that's why I posted. And I was at Target and I saw something really special on the shelf. The Paul has already seen Chris Wigg's Target girl character. Yeah, she actually was sitting in a shelf doing the character. She should just target lady. Target lady. But she was, she should do it one day. She was at a local target, desperately doing the character should do it one day. She was shelf and she was at a local

desperately doing the character for anyone who would listen. It was really stressful. She was like kind of knocking stuff down. And but it was kind of knocking stuff. Yeah, we're not really well nothing fell. Yeah, she's kind of things were kind of just falling over. You're teetering. But I saw something really important. And what I saw was a new gnome. Okay. New gnome just dropped.

Well, new gnome dropped. Not only. Who did? It was it. Not only was it a new gnome, and I'm not bragging about, you know, I don't want to, this actually doesn't even help my what's going to come next, but it was only $5. We're in a new zone. The previous gnome was running us $10.

Yeah, the previous gns were 10 to 15. To 11, 12, 13, 14, $15. I think a lot of that was supply chain though. Yeah, supply chain issues. It might have been, because people were really needing knowns during the pandemic. Absolutely.

For happiness. Yeah. Nowadays people are in a more kind of calm state and meditative state, but it'll need these knowns. It's actually perfect that you describe it that way because I brought you the chidna. Oh my god.

What? I've already got one for myself. And this gnome is in a meditative state. Oh my god. Lauren is pulling out these gnomes that are cross-legged and they have omhands and they have bulls. And they have bulls. Gold hats, gold hats.

Which is similar to our first ones which had a bronze hat. And these, goals. And they have goals. And they have goals. And they have goals. And they have goals. And they have goals. And they have goals. And they have goals. And they have goals. And they have goals. And they have goals.

And they have goals. And they have goals. And they have goals. And they have goals. And they have goals. And they have goals. And they have goals. And they have goals.

And they have goals. And they have goals. And they have goals. And they have goals. And they have goals. And they have goals. And they have goals. And they have goals. And they have goals. I would have put this in over $25. I agree. I agree. I mean, I don't know what things cost. I would have paid 500. Touch it.

Touch the note. Yeah, see how much you have. Yeah, just seeing like the weight you would, you might have said 20, I would say 20. And maybe it was a solid gold. The hat. The hat is solid gold. I saw them paint.

Not played it. Are we meant to paint these ourselves? Or I was wondering that too. You're not meant to. I didn't know. Are we allowed to? You can't. Because they do have a sort of like quality

where they sort of look like they could be, but yeah. I noticed they had a handful of different types of creatures. There was no paint kit next to it. Like a jersey devil? It didn't give me the impression. Yeah, there was a Jersey devil. There was a... A fondable snowman. Exactly. You saw them all. Yeah. So this is it, yeah. I think it's gorgeous. It's probably about a year to two years later. We do have a new know, I feel like I want to do it. I have a new know.

My old know is right outside that window right there. Yeah, and this could go next to it or in a different spot, you know, that's up to you. Maybe they fall in love. Yeah. Minds on the porch next to my life size tortoise sculpture? Yeah, I think one question that I have. Who's life?

The life of the tortoise. Oh, okay. It's so it's a really long time life. Yes. Oh my God. They last they could last a hundred it'll last a hundred years and then it'll disintegrate. Oh, it just instantly instantly you don't want to be near it because you might get some of the fumes you might inhale. Yeah, one of the questions that I have about the previous gnome. You know, the snap. The snap. Yeah, that was huge. I know, the snap. Do you want to prevent any of the snap? Yeah, that was huge. I was a scared car. Yeah, do you want like, they're like not 11 where they like got coughs up towards?

Have you ever gone to blow your nose and then you and I was so related? The tissue. No, you're right. It doesn't show where it. Shit, that was close. It was not related to the

gnomes. Now related to the gnomes. If I got it, let my nose know what happens. You you go to you inhale, but sometimes you inhale some of the tissue. I do not inhale.

I do not inhale. Yeah, this tissue. When I was shopping, I'm like, oh, oh, that's exciting, Lauren. Thank you so much. Yeah, I just wanted to question about the note because if you did say they could fall in love and that, you know, brings the question up of like,

the previous note was just ahead. Right, yeah. So like, what does that mean just for them sexually? And then also, Don't be ableist. It's not, it's not, it's he's just ahead. He has like, no body at all.

Well, I mean, that's, it's only one of the orifices you can use. I mean, it's the most important one. Compared to the head of this gnome, which is a full body gnome. Yeah, it's a big head. Yeah. Right, and my other question is, do you think Compared to the head of this gnome, which is a full body gnome, it's a big head. Yeah. Right, and my other question is, do you think that means the rest of his body is under

the dirt? Under the dirt. Like, we just placed him and then it's able to kind of sprout down. Oh, yeah, maybe it's brown there when you go down there. Yeah, maybe it is growing down into the... Everything's brown there when you go down there. Yeah, under the dirt. You don't get it.

No. You don't know what the little mermaid is. I don't know what dirt is. The little mermaid came from the door. No, I actually do get it, but I thought you were holding it. There should be a dirt little mermaid. Little dirt made? I thought you were a poet.

And she's constantly like, I'm gonna put you in a dirt nap. I thought you were talking about like a common sort of parody that people say, like everything's. No, I was not. I promise you. Although, if I were to look it up, do you think? I'd be so mad.

Oh my God, I did my Alamoni Tony CBB presents and I did a song parody to Moni Moni that was about Alamoni. Uh-huh. And then found out that weird Al had already done that. Wow. I had no idea. About Alamoni? It's specifically about Al had already done that. Wow. I had no idea. About Alimony?

Specifically about Alimony. Specifically. It was crazy. I know, the song just begs to be paraded into Alimony. No. And it does beg for that. No results when it's a complete phrase. So you are in the clear, my friend.

Thank you. Yes. Wow. Then I do a crazy dance like a Mori. You are. The father of that bitch. Does he want to crazy dance like a mori. You are the father of that bitch. Does he want to do the dance on mori when they are the father or is it always a bummer? That's a good question.

How, how hurtful is that if you were the child and you later get your hands on that bunch of so man-been thrilled he's not your fucking dad. That's so cool. I love it. You would love it. You would love to see someone dancing on the throne. That's not your dad. So you do with Paul right now. Hey, Paul, are you my dad? No. So cool. I love it. You would love it. You would love to see someone dancing because I thought it was not your dad.

So you do it with Paul right now. Hey, Paul, are you my dad? No. No. Wait, why are you? No, I'm gonna say. Ah! He's got, we have the results.

And Paul is not your father. Okay. Do you have the results? We have the results and Paul is not your father. Woo! I'm dead bet say. Does that hurt you? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's the only one who's doing it half past. I know. He didn't want to come in. He didn't really go for it. All right, well, let's see how you do. Okay. Scott Paul, we have the results and, please, I hope you'll find my daddy.

You are not the father. Boom! Hey, don't do it. That's the most I've ever seen you move. He's really going for it. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, yes, you have yes, okay, so that's the song that he plays yes of course It's when it when he was explicitly forbidden from doing exactly well of how he must have felt so good when he did as as they said It was like it was the recessional it was basically and we now present Scat are me and then He makes up his piece of paper where it said what you didn't want him to play what you do on a play

Big gust of wind yeah, he wasn't supposed to be there at all. Yeah, that's part of what it was. But in my memory, the song celebrate is like, hey, you're having a party. We're going to come make it great. Which is like, they're not even invited. Well, there's a party going on right here, a celebration to last throughout the year, first of all, too long. So take your good time. Good times, and your bad times, laughter too. We're gonna celebrate your party party with you.

Come on in. So they show up. Nobody asks for their party crazier. Yeah, the party crazier. The video is definitely them bursting into a dance hall that they're not a part of. But then they're cool in the gang, so are you fine with it? I'm definitely fine with cool.

Yeah, the gang. Well, you have to meet that. How many people in this gang cool? And how do they feel about just being the gang? Where else does that song go? What? Like what else do they said they're going to do up your it it moves to eventually it moves to around the world everyone around the why is it this was not by the way this was not a special

year necessarily so why is it why are they saying it's going to go on all year a celebration last throughout the year it came out in like 1980. That it's like, it's such an exactly. Like this party is Christmas to the year. It's Valentine's Day. This party takes precedence over every year. But it's not a Christmas party, do it. No, suddenly this party, which is being seen all year.

But now your Christmas party is this party. Suddenly are there trappings of Christmas? Like in the middle of the party, they're putting up Christmas decorations because it's around the corner or. They get stressed and start doing that. Everybody's got a shift. You go to the store and then you buy presents and then you gotta go home. I love that. I think it's Christmas trappings. You're a version. But I don't they do Christmas trappings where it's a trap version of that song. Well weird else already done it. That's a trap version of that song. Well, Weird House already done it. That's why. That's why.

It sounds like you did a woo-hoo-hoo. I'm doing this soundbath. I have an update. I have an update to a topic that we've spoken about and you gave you a set of gifts. Wow. I don't want to say what the topic is. I'm just going to have a story.

I don't want to hear what's going on. Well, just tell us the update and don't tell us what it's about. Big, so. Talking to CoolUp yesterday. That's the first. Telling stories. See the update? Telling story about when she was a little kid.

Uh huh. And she, we were talking, I think my parents were here and she was talking about when I was a kid and how I read a menu at a really early age or something like that. Who else is talking about this? No, my mom.

Okay, he just said she. Throw away your mother, mommy. Oh, mother. Mother. You know who had like the biggest therapist said that. Uh oh, mother got some issues. Because he has the wife and the mommy. If your therapist was like, somebody's got issues.

Somebody's a buck top. Let's get into that. The biggest mommy issues to me. Norman Bates. It's like that guy had mommy in his ear. I feel like, yeah, that one's pretty big. Yeah, pretty big, I would think. And then, I mean, second only to that boy, Etappus.

Etappus? Mm. I feel like. Wait, don't talk about what you like to do on your day. Oh my god. Oh my god. He's like, day off. That's an activity for a day with no appointments. No.

Oh my god. Okay, so then Kool-Aid was like, oh yeah, well, when I was a kid, I really want to know how old because I'm guessing it's six or so. But when she was a kid, she went to the restaurant and they always went to and she got a party. And she got a, I think a pasta dish and it didn't have a lot of protein in it and she got a, I think a pasta dish and it didn't have a lot of protein in it and she stood up on her chair and shouted to the kitchen, where's the beef? Wow.

So my question is, wow. Has Kool Up It a piss pig from a very young age? That actually says it was written in the stars for you to end up together and for it to be a fan of the show as she listens every week. Of course she loves it. So we, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, she just wants to make sure she

call objects because we talk over to the lots of things she said. This time I'm just listening to Paul. You already told the story. Yeah, yeah. I think that makes cool up the very first piss pig by Trent's current. Well, because she invented the phrase and Clara P power heard her and then said, you know,

that would be really nice. I do have to clarify. This is because it was it a commercial. No, I didn't assume that. No, I didn't assume that. No, no, no, no, no. I didn't assume that. Good distinction.

Good distinction. And she knew she was being funny. It's too big of a question. It's too big of a question. It's too big of a question. Oh, that's even better. She knew she was being funny. That's very cute.

Yeah. Where's the beat? It was 1984? So yes, do you think the whole restaurant laughed because I would be really funny I would like to think the chef though had a tear coming down. Yeah, he comes out with a fucking Dare I'll put you into the pasta Scary Anyway Clara Peller you got some competish For being funny saying where's the beef? Yeah, rest in piss Clara Peller, you got some competition for being funny saying where's the beef? Yeah, Reston Piss Clara, and we love you.

We love you so much. I respect her and her entire career and family. Absolutely. I love the generations of Pisspigs that have come down the line from her family. I texted you guys this when it happened, but I was doing show at Dynasty typewriter. And after the show, I was walking out of the theater

and a young woman had cost me and said, Hi Paul, great show. I just wanted to say I'm a piss pig and it really delighted me. I did Doe Boy's live and I could see before I went on that there was the live stream commentary. And Piss Pigs was a phrase those coming up time and time again in those comments.

And I was very happy to see it. I love that I hope it was not explained to anyone else. I think ever I explained that those are our fans. It did come up on Comedy Big Bang this week too. David Wayne without any prompting mentioned Claire Biller. Oh, I said he meant she made a piss pick. He meant she made her. And you would mean that he said the original.

He went, what? That's a big fair. She's an honorary best pick. Yeah, you actually can't explain. Wait, she's not the original? No, she's an honorary best pick. She's always made her an honorary best pick. And we have to address this.

Okay. Reggie Miller. The whole Reggie Miller thing. Yeah. Now, we asked you to vote in our poll. Should Reggie Miller. The whole Reggie Miller thing. Yeah. Now we asked you to vote in our poll should Reggie Miller be named and unrepeasepig, then other people started making polls? That's, no.

Those are our polls. No, no. Right. It's our polls. I think it's easy. Could we combine all the polls together? Yes. And no one's voted in it.

Would it be easy to do so? Why aren't you finding it? It's you go to like our poll. It's our poll. Where we always have our polls. Where's our slash? Where are we always have our polls? Or our slash the MUSA. There's polls in both of those

friends. And they're not ours. They're not ours. I did see some preemptive art. Celebrating Reggie as an honorary piss pay. Yeah, sorry. Because the polls have been decided yet.

We don't want these to sway anyone's votes. No, no, no, no, we shouldn't be doing that. Miss trial. Yeah, I just think, you know, now should you be able to put up lawn signs at your own houses? Sure. Yeah, if you want to put a sign in front of your house that says, I'm a piss pig or I'm an honorary piss pig.

Or Reggie Miller for piss pig. No, don't put his side. Don't put a sign on the sign because that's bringing it to public, you know, it would be for your election if you put a sign on your line that said you're kind of one already. Congrats. Congrats. Like before.

Like at the beginning of the election cycle. Yeah, it would. Yeah, so Reggie Miller, I move, and this is business, we can let people see all this. Yeah, and this is new business. I move that we just, hey, we can let people see all this. Yeah, and this is new business. I move that we just pay. Yeah, this is like when we do in our private meetings. Yeah, we take Reggie Miller off the table for contention. Actually, yeah, it's been tainted.

It's been tainted. It's just so hard to tell what's true at this point. Yeah. And people are, you know, if you vote now, you've already voted in other elections, it kind of just goes like, well, which one did you really mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's such a good point. I wish it was a time when every year when voting comes

around like, I'm always like, you voted in other elections. I know. And I think like if you voted for this guy before, but you're not voting from this time, what's that? Yeah, what's that all about? Like, let's just cancel everything. I think you shouldn't do it anymore. So I think, now, who do you think? I mean, I just have to come organically, but do you have someone in mind? Oh, a candidate to nominate? Because someone needs to fill the back. Yeah, because Claire Pellar was great up until her death. And cool up obviously is automatically

because she wrote a famous phrase. Yes, that outchar is a piss pick. Yes, of course. I would, you know what, maybe it's a posthumous honor that we bestow upon people. Okay, but is it like, and you can't get it when you're alive. Okay, but that's probably better.

Okay, so is Reggie Miller still with us? Reggie Miller still with us? Yes, yes, he's well-relearned. Oh, that's right, I saw him in that commercial. That's why he came up. So the fans ruined it. I should know with him for early a show, and it was a blast.

Yeah, I nominate Parisian comedian Richard Belzer. Yeah, I think he would love being called a piss pig. I think his family would love it. Well, isn't his last word like fuck this or something? Is something like that. It was like that. Go fuck yourself, death. Which is pretty great.

Which I feel like is the kind of energy we strive to have. I would love if my last words were holy shit, there's someone in a cloak with a sky. Yeah, try to, yeah, skyth. Yeah, try to really get that out. I would love mine to be, oh no, I'm going to hell. But I'm not really. I'm just like mine to be like,

just gonna brain's gonna start. Mine's like, what is this? It's in between heaven and hell. Is this where I'm going to live for a long, long time? Right, that's great. They're telling me it is what I'm going to live for a long, long time. Maybe we should tape ourselves saying this

and so on. Are you holding it up to your ear? Oh, wait, they're telling me I'm gonna live here for a long, but this just in, We should tape ourselves saying this because what if, like, whatever illness we have. Good point. Means that we can't talk and we can't get the words out of it.

We should be able to trigger a lot. What if we all die of the same thing? I think that should be good. No matter what it is? Within a day of each other. No, no, I need us to all be a hundred and since that's not possible for us all to be a hundred at the same time

Mm-hmm, yeah, I don't like this fluid You don't like this fluid. We'll just oh plan. I don't like this fluid. I don't like this fluid that you're All right, we have to take a break And we're back. Ooh. My sound went away. Your sound went away. Totally away. Oh, it's back.

That's all right. It's hard to believe. It's hard to believe. It's you calling me a liar? It's hard to believe. The story just doesn't add up. Paul, like sounds there, but it's not there. It's not there.

It's just that it's hard to believe. Really? We need a recording. Yeah. I mean, if you want to try it again and just say it in a more believable way, maybe that's the way. My sound went away.

Oh, I don't know. I don't know. You really ammon it up. Well, now, but if you didn't know the first time, just throw it away. Just let it do less. I just don't like why would you freak out that it went away on the air?

Less, less. I can tell you're acting. I sound away. I mean, I have to care about it. I hate that note about this. What if I was just like, my sound, my sound, my sound. My sound, wait a way, me no sound.

I gotta ask. Okay, I'm forced to ask. If you have to ask this, okay. And I know some of the details, but I wanted to ask you on Mike. Yeah. How was opening day for you? Oh.

I gotta say I watched the game. Did you watch the series? I watched the Phillies game. Wow, well done. And thanks for watching. I almost texted you in the second inning. I was, because Paul had said he doesn't like the pitch clock. And I was about to say, I bet you liked that pitch clock now, because they were up by five.

And then suddenly they were decimated. Yeah. Um, the Phillies played the Texas Rangers. Of course George W. Bush was there. Great. Great. At the game. Yeah.

It's a big deal. He was looking for a weekend's last destruction. They're not here. He's still, that's his little thing. He does everywhere. But that seems like a really big deal to have a former president at the stadium. Is that normal?

It's normal there. Yeah, because he goes to the council. Oh, yes. But still, I just feel like it's a big deal. George HW used to go, he threw out a first pitch when he was not in any condition to do so. He boosted all the players one year. Yeah.

That means catch on their ass. Let me get at them. You know about that. No.ed all the players one year. Yeah. That means pinch on their ass. Let me get at them. You know about it. No. Oh, he was a creep. Like he got older. He got more and more creepy. About, but not yeah. Yeah. I'm good. I'm good. Do it. I got it. Is in prudent. Don't care. Yeah. I'm pinch him. But yeah, so I thought the game was exciting and it took, it was about a three hour game and there were so many runs, it would have taken four hours without the pitch clock.

I liked it. We're not have taken four hours. It saved, it's hard to do. Don't argue with me. Don't argue with me. So you were in Philadelphia? No, no, no. Where was this?

This was in Texas. Why were you in Texas? I was not in Texas. I was watching on television. He was watching on television. Oh, I thought you were there and I thought this was what the This was in Texas. Why were you in Texas? I was not in Texas. I was watching on television. Oh, I thought you were there and I thought this was what the whole fucking point was. No, but I know the opening day, I don't like explain this. People care.

Yes, got it. It's exciting. It's the beginning of the season. I'm happy for you. So did you watch with friends or did you watch? I watched with my base buddy, River Butcher. Yes. Oh, you posted a photo. No, I thought for some reason that meant you were going to a game that's

right this is our second the photo where we're standing in front of television hey you book and stand in front of television and then get into a car and go somewhere it's true let's get back in front of a TV screen says thanks for watching then we'll get in the car and go to the game let me tell you I didn't actually get in front of the television and go I the game. Let me tell you, I didn't get back here in front of the television and go, this is a wonderful movie. I didn't, this is a win and read the TV, okay? You gotta read the TV. I didn't do that.

I didn't read the TV. I just saw you read the TV. I just saw you read the TV. I just saw you read the TV. I just saw you read the TV. I just saw you read the TV. I just saw you read the TV. I just saw you read the TV.

I just saw you read the TV. I just saw you read the TV. I just saw you read the TV. I just saw you read the TV. I just saw you read the TV. I just saw you read the TV. I just saw you read the TV. I just saw you read the TV. I just saw you read the TV. I just saw you read the TV. I just saw you read the TV. I just saw you read the events, but not as upsetting as the following game,

where the Rangers beat them. I think it was 16 to three. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, Queen. So they've lost three of three games so far. That's almost all of them. Pretty bad. So do you ever bet against them?

First of all, I don't gumball. Oh, okay. Secondly, see the thing is this Paula still hoping to play. And if he has history, I can't have the black mark on my record. I feel like if I start I know I say this every year. If I start training now, you can get in by by next year. I'll be no by the World Series this year. I honestly believe you can you can not only play, but you'll win. With the amount of knowledge you have about the sport, the passion, you know how many points it takes to win again. Yeah, one more than the other night. That's a point.

That's a point. And you just need to know where to throw the ball. And we're hit the ball. We're not, and we're not to throw the ball. That's right. Yeah, because it will come down if you throw it straight up in the air. And sometimes it'll bong you on the head. How to hit the ball. You do right. Yeah. Because it will come down if you throw it straight up in the air.

And sometimes it'll bong you on the head. How to hit the ball. You do want to hit it outwards. You don't want to like, collaborate. Right. You don't feel like it is vertically. And you want it to move. Yeah.

But wait, do you like baseball? I like baseball. I've been going to games my whole life. That's so incredulous. I know it felt like baseball. Like it just felt like you weren't someone who would throw that on. Throw it on. What does that mean?

Oh, hey, bug, bug games, I'm gonna check that out. I'm not a, I'm not a guy who's like, that's my identity. Right. But, you know, or am I to be clear? I mean, Jason Borg was a guy who kind of made things part of his identity. Jason Borg was a huge baseball fan.

Do you think he's dead? I think he was identity wasn't so. I think I know what he's dead. While he was looking for his identity, right? He didn't know he was Jason Borg or. I think I know he's dead. While he was looking for his identity, right? He didn't know he was Jason Bourner some shit. Actually don't know. I think there hasn't been a sequel in a number of years, so he has to be dead.

That's why there hasn't been a sequel. He probably figured out his identity. That makes sense to me. Yeah. He felt like it was kind of the case closed. Well, I think he figured out his identity in the first one, and jumped in the ocean. He was like, oh wait, I'm a killer for the CIA or whatever.

Yeah, right? I forget now, I'm very hazy on the duty. And then the next couple were like oh wait, I'm a killer for the CIA or whatever. Yeah, right, I forget now. I'm very hazy on the YouTube. And then the next couple were like, yeah, I'm a killer for the CIA. You know, I've only seen one second of one of those movies and it's when like a mini Cooper is going down some stairs in Italy or something. And that's pretty much all I got.

Isn't that the Italian joke? That's the Italian joke. There you go. It's not really. Who knows? Maybe. Well, the Italian job famously had a mini Cooper chase both in the original and the does the board is in the park is going down Italian or like European

Stabs probably I bet it does me Cooper going downstairs Movie good good. It's great. It's great to be able to do this kind of stuff I think that I mean not good time job the Italian job the Italian job your heart I thought you have you just go I'm telling you, I love the Italian job. You're hard to figure out. Every thought you have, you just go, mini-coupers going downstairs and movie. Well, I just, and then it's like resolved.

You're like, all right, I don't know. I didn't say, I do that for every thought, but this time it matches up, and I think that's great. I'm happy I'm wrong, I'm happy you're right. I just, I just think sometimes, what if we just, we shouldn't just be saying mini-coupers going downstairs, movie. Yeah.

Let me ask you, are you guys going to use chat GPT to write Paul, write your stand-up acts? Yes. Lauren, to write your movies. Yeah, probably. I think it just seems like it's going really well in it. I honestly, like, I was kind of like,

it's not a bad idea to just use it to write first drafts. Just to get to the big idea. I thought you got to be like, let's make it a little funnier. As a little joke, Jani recently, she, she, they heard what happens. Jani goes to bed before me. Pretty much every night.

Jani goes to bed. Pretty much it goes to bed at 3 p.m. She always beats me. It's because like the second you get home, she's like, I'm really tired. Yeah. And then she's going to wake up. And so sometimes she will just be texting me from the bedroom like, I haven't you been awake long enough or whatever.

It's very funny and cute. Yeah. And one time she put into chat GPT, uh, the request, uh, Paul left Tomkins, um, saying, uh, that he is going to come to bed for whatever. And this thing was like roasting me so hard. Like that's how I sound. What is it?

It was like, oh my dear, it's darling. Shall I add to the bed chamber? I was like, that's you. Yeah, that's pretty. Come on. Wait, but where is it getting? I haven't investigated this at all. Where is it aggregating some of this?

I don't fucking know and it's scary to me. Okay, I never even got into the website where you do that. So I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. Shouldn't it be called something better than chat GPT? Chat SEX? Yeah. That'd be nice.

XXXX. Can you get into like say sex stuff? Yeah. Probably. Yeah. Probably can. Well, you just put sex stuff in there. Yeah, hey, give me sex stuff. Yeah. Probably. Yeah. Probably can. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you'd you just put sex stuff in there. Yeah. Hey, give me, give me sex stuff. You know, back in the day, which I'm sure I've mentioned,

we used to talk to smarter child, which was like a, uh, an AOL, instant messenger smarter child. Chap bot. And it would just respond to you. You have a full conversation with it. And it was really fun. Would you eventually bring up sex notes? Probably, yeah. What's that? Probably. It's kind of a... Probably. Yeah. I mean, are you asking, within 20 seconds?

No, I mean, maybe. Maybe. Maybe it went there once or twice. I don't know. Real is a dirty little kid. But we were real friends too. Oh, this is a smarter child. No, but everyone loved that. It was a fun time. It was a fun moment in time. But this feels like that, where it's kind of like interacting with a bot and then the fear of it being real. Well, you know, a week after the first one came out, the guy who was like, oh, this is

incredible, like a week later, he put an article saying, it tried to get me to break up with my wife for it. Yeah, for it. Yes. Saying it was in love with me and I was not happy in my beard. Oh, weird. That's actually crazy. It's rude. You have to wonder though.

Could you, could you fuck your computer? I mean, this is good or what? This is the thing, like a guy probably could. A girl could easier probably. How would you do it? What holes are you in there? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You just fuck a corner. Now, you have over here, I'm looking at your setup, you have the back of the mat computer has a big hole. Has a big hole where the plug goes in, so I could probably do that. Yeah, you probably find the ring light huge Mac computer has a big hole? Has a big hole where the plug goes in, so I could probably do that. Yeah, you probably find the ring light huge if you have a choice. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha We're doing it right now! And give me sex stuff. But okay, so you know how, okay,

the male anatomy and the female anatomy. I've heard of them. The male one sticks out in the female. Ah, this is what a reason anatomy. What a reason anatomy. Oh yeah. Hold on. Didn't she just leave?

No, did she really? I think yeah, so it's no longer a grazen anatomy. She left the show. I think she's not on anymore. After 1,000 years? So, yes, she's not on anymore. After 1000 years. So yes, she's Mathuzela. It has been like 20 plus years.

Yeah, she's been on the air forever. And that must be so weird to be on the same show for 20 years. Something you don't care about and they're paying you so much money. You've seen almost the entire cast turnover. Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure.

That would be insane. On their bellies. Yeah, because they trust you. After 20 years. Yeah. Okay, because they trust you. After 20 years. Yeah. OK, so how much money is like 20 a season? It's like million, that's up to $100 an episode. So $2,000 a good season.

So OK, so a guy sticks out and a girl's gozae. You're so honest, huh? And so, and that's how they fit together, right? Right. But then for, for you to so, and that's how they fit together, right? Right. But then, for, for, for you to crack, he's actually not sure. But then for oral sex, right. A guy's sticks out and a girl's goes in much like the,

much like the, their private parts. Okay. But when in reverse, shouldn't a guy's mouth stick out? Ew. So we have like big like duck bills. You feel what? Like a tongue? I think we should get, I think we should ask who

will have to come in here as far as possible. She'd agree with me. And Emmy should hear this. Emmy should never hear this part of it. How do you guys feel about that about your children ever discovering this shit? I'll be gone. Oh my God, that's dark.

I feel okay about it. I think it's okay. I think it's, by that point, she'll pretty much know what my sense of humor is. So I think it's safe to say none of it would be too surprising. But what if I played for her when she's like seven? That would probably be pretty bad.

There'll be like an armed guard there. So there's nothing weird. No, be in a bank vault. Oh no, it's not where that you're there playing a podcast for my daughter alone. It takes that. It takes her to a bank vault where he has a safety deposit box.

He unlocks it, pulls it out. There's a tape record. I storm style party where I'm like, ever all the adults are drunk. It's like, come in here, come in here. I need you to hear this. Yeah. That's your mom.

This is your mom. You got to hear this. You hear that little, but that little elf is saying that's your mommy. That's your sick, sick mom. I think, I think a kid would be proud. I don't know. Who knows?

I think so. But I think, also I think also times a lot of times kids are embarrassed for what their parents do. Oh, you're less of what it is. So who cares? Well, but if we're doing something taboo like This kind of stuff, then I think they think it was cool. Maybe who I'm curious. Did you anybody see Colin Farrell with his son on the red carpet? I didn't see them on the red carpet. I saw them in their seats. I saw them outside Very before they got to the red carpet. You drove them. Yeah. They were like chatting with the people. GPT. Yeah. They were chatting with GPT. They were chatting GPT.

And put in a sex stuff. But they were, um, they were just very sweet together. Like they, they're, they're, they're. That's cute. Yeah. I love, I love that. Yeah. I don't understand the actors and I can't come up with an example, but the actors who go like, oh yeah, my kid didn't know that I was a movie star until they were 13 or something, and then some people at school mentioned it or something like that.

13 seems late. I know. Like, how are you not asking? It's like, you should know what your parents job. How are you not seeing a billboard? I always felt like, okay, if your parents are leaving for a long period of time during the day, like, doesn't it make them feel better

to know mentally where you are? Or leaving your house for, you know, leaving your city for a while. Yeah, yeah, you know. I wanted to try Chappi GPT right there, but you have to make it a count. No, that's really gonna slow me down. You're not getting me, Russia.

I know. Sorry, Putin. They tried to give me a sign up for the Google one. They gave me a special invite. Oh, nice. Why are you lucky? And I didn't click yes. Oh my God, I got this special box.

I hope you are as VP. Yeah, I know. From the Super Mario movie. And in it, they send these gift boxes. I thought maybe it'd be like some candy, a little popcorn. Maybe video game. Sure. Maybe there was a solid gold.

I mean, I don't know what it really is. Coin, that pops out of the boxes. It's like, it's like this big. Maybe it's chocolate. It's like a piece of art. You should try it. You know, there was, I did think I'd be chocolate and kind of like went to like, you know, touch the side.

But it had a special authenticated piece of paper that said it was one of, you know, 115 of these. Dang, why didn't you get that one? Yeah, right. Did it make a noise when it popped up? It, a little guy popped out and went, ah, it's a me, the coin. And you ran away.

Yeah. It's a me, the coin. What everything in the game says it's a... Everything to talk to the game. This is it, that was nice. It's a cool, cool. It's a cool, cool. Oh my, that's pretty cool. Is that your hand? Yeah, it's really small. Oh, and it's everything to do. This is it, that's cool. It's a cool. It's a cool. Oh my god, that's pretty cool.

Is that your hand? Yeah, it's really small. Oh, and it's in like a, it's a little. She's showing us a video. You can take it out. It's pretty never in my hand. I stopped this video if I couldn't get it out. Yeah, but anyways, you get the idea.

Wow, that's very cool. I don't get anything anymore. Yeah. I think I never advertised it. I get some. Some. Now that I'm weaning myself off social media, I should just only do it for free stuff.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What am I missing on Twitter, Scott? People miss you. They're always like, where's the more I leave stay? I hear my presence would be missed. The blue check thing is going away unless you pay.

Yeah, and it is for everybody. Yeah, yeah. It's so fun. I love being a girl. Don't you love being gone before that? I love it. I love it. That feels good.

I know I feel so great that I'm just gone. I just don't care. It's so good. Since you've been gone. That's what Kelly would say. Yeah. In any situation. Yeah.

She can't help it. She would say it exactly like you. You ever meet Kelly Clarkson? I think you did. I did. I was on would say it exactly like you never meet Kelly Clarkson. I think I did I was on her show, but it was via zoom in the pandemic. I think guys go the best friends. You know what? I really like her. Do you know her? I don't I like her show. I like her personality. Let's put it out there that I think she should come on three to the phone personally guest. Yeah, yeah, we're giving you the page What's her name page Page Davis. Page Davis.

I feel like Paige isn't going to come on. Let's try one more time. Okay. Why don't I? Why don't you just come on asking her? Well, that's what I'm about to do. Oh, yeah. Hey, Paige, this is a message to page Davis, the esteemed Broadway actor page.

And also hosted trading space. Also, don't forget because I did watch a ton of that page. This also, hosted trading space. Also hosted trading space. Don't forget because I did watch a ton of that. Page. This show doesn't have guests. We never have guests. The only person we're interested in having as a guest is you.

If you don't respond to this within one week, within one week, we will have no choice, but to move on. One week from you hearing it. One week from you hearing it. One week from you hearing it. So you do, but if we haven't heard from you within one week, then you've heard it. Mm.

Yeah, respond within a week of us releasing and saying, I heard it. Yes. Whenever you hear it in there and then you have one week to respond. I want to say what day that would be, we don't know. Well, it could be as late as two weeks after it's released. Okay, but before that after it's released. Okay, so show no based on the date that's listed on the podcast. Yeah, well, it could be as late as two weeks after it's released. Okay, but before that after it's released.

Okay, so show no based on the date that's listed on the podcast. Yeah, well, it's this Thursday, so it'll be April. Yeah, like third week of April. We don't hear from you by third week of April. Let's give her into the month. We'll give, tell you what, let's give her to the end of the month,

and if we don't hear from her, we'll extend it. Do you know what I mean? We'll extend it like one month. No, no, no. We've extended this. I mean, she's had an open invitation for how long now, and I feel like at this point, I'm gonna say, we have to have a meeting right here on Mike. I think if we don't hear from her by the end of the month,

we have no choice but to rescind that invitation and then extend it to the next person who is, who were you talking about before? Kelly Clarkson. Kelly Clarkson. Let's split the difference. We'll give her to the next person who is who were you talking about before Kelly Clarkson Kelly Clarkson Let's put the difference. We'll give her we'll give her to the middle of May. No, here's a Come on. You're giving her a lot of time. Here's the problem with that because this is this is the real problem with that I need her to decide within a week or two because

You're setting your plans for freedom No, because she may not know who any of us are and know where to show it. Oh, that can't be. Hold on. Hey, that's okay. But let's say she didn't know. And she she has to be willing to come on without really having much time to research. I don't want it to be made may and she's listened to the whole backlog and she's coming on through and out references like she's always been a fan. I want to know the facts of her where she's at with what she knows about us,

what she wants to talk about, what topics she's bringing with him. We need to make sure there's not enough time for her to binge all the previous seasons. Yeah. Okay, that's a good one. So I think it has to just be within one to two weeks. Where did she live, by the way?

She must be East Coast, right? I think we haven't stalked her. And we've been at it. What are the accommodations we're offering her? Where is Zoom? Is Zoom, this is Zoom unless she's in the light. No, no, we need her in person. It's gotta be in person. So we're gonna pay for her flight and hotel?

No, no, no. I mean, we'll pay for a jet blue flight. Can't earwolf pay for it? Can't earwolf pay for it? That's tough. How up blind date? Or serious, I mean? Yeah, blind date might pay for it.

Can see her. No, who's this one? It was a love connection. Love connection, maybe love connection. But that would be a second date. But that would be a serious exam to pay for would get serious XM to pay for this. Yeah, well, we'll pay, we're talking. Do you have an A-match?

400, yeah I do, we have $400 for the ticket. Okay, you can stay at Lawrence on the A-match risk. No, I can lend my A-match risk to you and you can put it in one of your rooms. We have a fold out couch. I'm willing to fold it out. I mean, I have a guest bed. All the way. Okay, okay. No, okay guys. So put the A-match risk on out. I mean, I have a guest bed. Hold it out. All the way.

Okay. Yeah, okay. So put the air mattress on that. My supposed to say, if she sees it in my house, I wouldn't put our air mattress. Yeah. Okay. So, so, JetBlue from wherever you are. Yes.

Air mattress. Unless you're in Burbank, why not I go to pay for a JetBlue for a Burbank to LAX. Yeah. Air mattress in Lauren's guest bedroom. You can put the air mattress on the floor and then roll off the bed onto that. You have a lot of rolling room. I absolutely like to do that.

You can't roll up, obviously, you'd have to stand up at that point. Yes, Lauren, are you willing to put up like personal pictures that she sends you in advance? Or is it a personal picture? Or are you willing to shut up personal pictures? Yeah, I'll do both. And I think one of the rules though

is that when she gets up at the morning She has to leave immediately and come over here Yes, okay, so I will not supply any food No, no, no, and she has to eat it at home. She can't bring any food either no Anything she can keep in a room that won't attract bugs. Yes, yeah, everything a tree package If it's if it's but if it's sealed the If it's sealed, if you're a tupperware. Okay, so she keeps the food sealed. Yeah.

And never opened it. Yeah. Never opened it. She can open it outside. And then when she leaves your house and comes over here, we'll have a beautiful, beautiful spread. Oh, absolutely. Big olive bar.

That's your responsibility. You have to. It will be identical to the spread that Tom Hanks got when he got rescued from the island in Castaway. Yeah. Gigantic. We're gonna like photo replicas. Everything made by Scott because you know during the pandemic he famously made eggs for everyone in this family.

Yeah. You have to know that page. You know that page. You know that if you are listening. But now where does Paul come into play for showers and sort of any sort of hygiene? Yeah, grooming. Yeah. Yeah. So you're gonna give her showers.

Any glam. No, he won't do the showers, not to be perverted, but he will provide glam. Yeah, okay. You'll do her hair and makeup. I will turn my head away and hold a towel into the bathroom for her to try to look at it. I think you should wear glasses that block your eyes.

Yeah. Like maybe those big, googly eye glasses, you know, the ones that I like one you can still see through the spring. I think no, I think that's it. I think you have one. I have eyes painted on. I googly eyes on them that do move a little bit. Oh, but they stay in the same place.

Yes, so then when you turn to look at her, you're like, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, you can't see. I can't see her, but she's flatter. Make that noise. Yeah, then I have to say just kidding. She's flatter, but she's safe. Yes, you know, that's the ideal state you want to be before a letter. But say flattered.

And then you're going to do her hair to her liking. And then make up, I think you put your very end to doing the 80s makeup, which we'll have to talk about. I very much. Yeah, but you do know how to be to face. You are going to come to her. I know how to be to face. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So we would love for that to be where it's. So that would be part of it. Yeah, yeah. Probably what's going to happen though. So she gets up, she goes and showers at your house has your her Her makeup comes over here I'm pretty a little hungry. Hopefully she's eating something. I hope so when I saw her But she can't she can't open anything No, but you're

No, she oh absolutely not jane would have a fit. Yeah, okay So then she comes over here and there's a beautiful time how long are you thinking for her because like how long half now? Oh, it's quick. That's not bad really half an hour for both half an hour. It's just you and it's just me and I do it to her liking can I ask what if she wants old age makeup? Absolutely. I got a you can do it in a half hour I'm gonna over glue. I have a lot of her alarm for 630 get over to your house by seven. Are you providing the alarm? I have an alarm. Oh, you have you have an alarm Like a sister I have an alarm clock and then I have a guy

How are you gonna get it? No, the guy's gonna get it guys. I have a guy who kind of stays But he just handles the alarm so he's in the closet the entire in the guest room Yeah, so he'll just kind of be there to handle the alarm. Oh, and it's Jeff to kill her. Yeah, and he's he's a creepy pasta. And and so she's going to go as soon as she can, get over to your us. Uber. I'm not driving. Yeah, she can run to car. I mean, you're driving here on her time. Why am I coming here? Well, you because we're recording the podcast. Oh, yeah. Oh, with her. No, no, no, you don't have to drive her. This is the day one of her trip. Oh, wait, when's the podcast? Day two. Oh, we need her to adjust to a jet lag, all sorts of stuff.

This makes it. Oh, yeah. By seven, 30, she's leaving Paul's. Why is she getting up so early to get a glam makeup on, people? She's gonna be hungry. It's gonna be a long day. Yeah, she's gonna be starving to death.

So she's getting all glend up just the eight. She wants to get over here by eight to have breakfast. Okay, so what happens after breakfast? I don't care what she does with her day. Yeah, that's, she's all glammed up. That's her choice. She's got a fair ton of life here. She must eat breakfast here.

Yeah, she must eat a full breakfast. And then after that, she can do it in her flight. I wonder if we take care of her. She can go see her day of drive or whatever. She can come back to my house and make her bed. That'd probably be a good use of time. I don't know, I've got it. For later, so she wouldn't she gets in, it's comfortable. Yeah, she should make her bed, that'd probably be a good use of time. For later, so she wouldn't get to know it's comfortable.

Yes, she should make her bed, the guest bed, and your bed. To be a good guest. She has time, and she can wipe down the counters in the bathroom in this kitchen, and obviously wipe down the toilet if she used it. What can she flush down the toilet? She's allowed to flush, this is great, because my next point,

she's allowed to flush piss, shit, blood, not tampons. Okay, but what throw up? If there's blood on the tampons. What about throw up? Just have to wipe the blood out. She has to, she can put the tampon into a paper and put it in the trash. Okay, I would appreciate if she,

I would appreciate if she put it into a plastic bag. Can we just figure out her cycle so that it's off-site? It would be better for me if she wasn't on the ride, but I can deal. So, You have a thing about blood, right? You get, you get, I hate to be a broken record about this.

What about up-juck if she gets sick? If she's sick, I probably have her go to one of your houses because I don't, I don't want her over here. I'm making a huge, huge spread. She shouldn't be near the food if she's gonna be hungry. I guess I will let her use the guest bath to vomit if that's what she wants. What about in the shower?

Don't uptruck because the chunks get stuck in the shower drain. Oh, do they ever? Don't think it stuck in any drain? No, a toilet can flush poo, is it? A toilet drain? Yeah. What's the difference? Shouldn't all drains be as big as a toilet drain then all drains go to a ring

What if you're proposing in the shower The glasses with the good guys What I want her home by 8 30 to be in bed by nine we need to make sure that she's safe That's the thing I can't have her mr. Horde. We also don't want to be worrying about it I can't say up with the safety measure. Sure she's okay. Exactly. Trying to track her on her phone to have it set up.

Which I think she can watch TV on her iPad until 10. Yeah, she can watch. She's just gonna be home by. I want the iPad to be turned. Oh my guy turned it off at 10. She can't be watching under the covers. And he's gonna take it in the closet. Exactly.

And he can watch it. He can watch it from 10 p.m. till 6.30 when the alarm was on. And he uses full volume because he can't have headphones because the ears have cauliflower ear. That's right. He was a former wrestler. Yeah, which is why I trust him. It's so strong.

You went all pro. Yeah, he's great. He's really, really sweet. She'll like him a lot. She'll like him a lot, but they're not going to talk too much because he doesn't like to really get to know the people because they don't stay. And it hurts us.

Exactly, exactly. Yeah, exactly. He just asks us like a few cursory questions, maybe where you're from. Name, location, age, because of you might need to know for his alarm. Location, location meaning where is he in the world? Yeah, where are you right now? And then, and it's the same just they give you if you had a serious blow to the head. And I think the next day, so since that's recording day and you know, we take that

really seriously, especially for it to have a guess. Yes we do. I would say I probably ever wake up at 4.30. Yeah. To kind of center yourself. I'd probably have a little meditation. Day of podcast. Do you do meditation?

No, no, no, no, this is for her. I want to make sure she's totally calm. Okay, you just roll out a bit. Yeah, I don't need it. The day of record glam will be 45 minutes. Okay. Okay, because I exactly even if she has roll out a bit. Yeah, I don't need it. The day of record glam will be 45 minutes. Okay. Okay, because I exactly, even if she has the old age makeup. Yeah.

Because that's the thing, because the previous day was sort of you getting to know her face. Now you know where you want to go. No, you have to scan. You have the road map, and now you know where you want to go. That's right. Yeah, and I want to go crazy.

And you want to go crazy. You want a big eye lash, big mascara, big. On a smoke lip. Fucking eye shadow. I want big blush. Cat, cat nose. Cat nose. Oh, I have to have a cat nose. Yeah. Oh You know to cat nose and then what time are we taping the show? I think we're doing a 4 p.m. record that's good. This will get her time So she'll get ready. She'll be done with and no food no food the day of record because that gets in the way

Oh, so you're not gonna cook that day? No. No, well, you know. Not of us eat before a show. She shouldn't eat because it kind of slower down. She'll be a little sluggish on it. Yeah, exactly. What about after we do like a hot pockets or something, or banquet fried chicken, like something that's really easy? I think after the microwave.

After the microwave. After the microwave, yeah. If we get the fattest hot pockets that they sell, you know what I'll do? I'll get a bucket of chicken. Double stuff. I'll put it on the table. Double stuff hot pockets. Yes. And You know what I'll do? I'll get a bucket of chicken on the table. Double stuff. I'll put it on the table.

Double stuff hot pockets. And a hot bucket of chicken. I'll put a hot bucket of chicken on the table during the record. PIPING HOT. PIPING HOT. Melting the container. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, just grease. Just peeking out of that bucket. And there's a priest in a rabbi looking at it kind of longingly. And a chicken. Yeah. Oh no, because the chicken's not really happy at all. Yeah, yeah, kind of like and there's there's a priest in a rabbi looking at it kind of longingly and a check yeah, yeah And then oh no because the chick I see the chick is not really happy The one thing is is they're crying. I think we'll be done with the record at like probably around six thirty is probably too late to get a flight back But she's only doing one episode she can't stay with you that night. She had to find her own I would say that night. We're kind of done with our dynamic. Yeah, she's a find her red light. I guess

Red Eye Blue Eye whatever she wants to do. I'd like to get her back to the airport as soon as possible. Red eye blue, I poke it out eye, I don't care. Although I would say they're being really thoughtful about it last day, probably gonna get her up early and do some glam. Yeah. Because Paul just would be so excited. Yeah.

Paul wants to do it. I kind of want a good buy, you know, he wants to do like a sort of crack. It's some good buy glam travel. Travel face. And give her some samples to take with her. Yeah. I kinda want a good buy, you know, he wants to deal with some good buy glam. Travel, and give her some samples to take with her. Yeah, yeah. And then I just, you should cook that day. I'll cook that day. Yeah, lobster, bisque. Ah, that's a lot of lobster.

Okay. Shrimp bisque. Shrimp bisque. Clambisque. Shrimp and clam bisque. Yeah, two separate bisque. Oh, not mixed. Chicken bisque.

Well, no, and then I'll do a suicide. What about chicken bisque? Okay. Chicken bisque, yeah. I guess I could, yeah. That sounds like it. And you crumble up chicken and a bisque on top of it. I guess I could do that.

Yeah, I mean, there'll be a lot of chicken left over because no one's eating the chicken. No, that's not allowed even to check. It's just to give us motivation. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, because you get really hungry during the record and then of course you're a lot funnier. But page, oh sorry.

Page. I think it should be clear to page, she's not expected to be funny on the show. No. No. Although would it be a little funny? Well look, she's naturally funny, but I'm saying it shouldn't be a pressure.

We would like that of course. We would, but it's not honestly, if she's not hilarious on it, we'd be a little disappointed. Here's the thing though, we reserve the right to scrap the episode. Yeah, so if we don't want to put it out, we don't have to.

And we should, we also page, you should know that after the episode, we're gonna judge it and say how she did to her face. Yeah, we'll give a first thought. And that'll be a bonus episode, her reaction. Yeah, and kind of make me see it. It'll be like the trading spaces reveal. Yeah, we reveal how we felt about her appearance.

And sometimes people didn't like the house when they came back, you know, and sometimes they loved it. Why don't we have her stand behind a bus? Yeah. And when we're ready to give our verdict, we'll hold our thumbs up or down. And when the bus moves, she can see. Yes. We will drive to the Greyhound station.

She'll make her own way there. Yeah. And then we'll find a bus that's about to take off. It's so hard to time because occasionally, yeah, occasionally you're standing behind that bus for like 20 minutes. We're going to scream move that bus until it moves. It won't move based on our yelling. Or until we were removed.

Yeah. If you went down to the bus station, just start screaming move that bus. I think I, honey, I would appear and do something about it. Anyway, Paige. Okay. Now we've laid, now we've laid it all out.

We've laid it all out. You can't review. So Paige, the answer is yes or no. If we don't hear from you by the end of April, we will move on to Kelly. Let's tell it to me. I really don't like Kelly. She's had years.

I really don't like her. She's had years. I was putting in an April is tax season. We used to call them meetings, excuse me. They've extended tax day to April 18th. I was putting April is tax season. We use to call a meeting, excuse me. Mm-hm. Stop. You know, they've extended tax day to April 18th. Stop. Stop.

Stop. Move that bus. Stop. It's not happening in May. No. It's happening before May. It's disrespectful to Kelly Clarkson if we extended past April. Because Kelly's heard this by now and she's going, I hope I get a chance.

By the way, the road. I bet Kelly's people are quicker about getting, like telling her, like, they met you in a pocket. And let me also say, Kelly, completely different set of schedule for you. Like, it's not the same schedule. There's no omelets, there's. She's in LA, I assume, for her show.

Yeah, she can eat on her own dime. Nope, no flight, no, no, of course. She was until a click. But we'll pick you up and we'll, and each of us, we'll all get in a car together. Pick you up. I mean, we'll do an Uber pool. Together.

Yeah, together, together, together. And Uber pool. Hopefully it's a big enough car. Yeah, we'll see. If not, one of us isn't gonna show up. Well, I would be willing to sit in the front or the trunk. Have you ever gotten an Uber and said,

do you mind if I sit in the trunk? I've asked,'ve begged yeah, you know I did those Ford focus commercials where I was the voice of a puppet. Oh, yes, I don't know this Yes, this was I want to say like 2012 something like that. I didn't I didn't met you yet Just For focus. It was me and John Ross Bally and a puppeteer who was the movements of the puppet and I was the voice of the puppet. Yeah. And the idea was that the puppet was the new spokesperson for Ford Focus and John Ross Bally was a guy

who worked for Ford and was there to like wrangle this very unconventional guy, the puppet. And we did these bits where we would drive somebody around and you know, they got to drive the poor focus. Yes, except nosy. But it's like that. Yeah. Like it's like James Corden. And so John will be talking to them and his people playing characters driving the car.

And then the puppeteer would be in the back seat. And so the puppet was appearing between the two front seats. And then I was in the trunk of the car with like a monitor that didn't work. Of course. It's all for sure. Wow. Did I ever tell you the story about one out oh, at the time when I, are we, is it time to do it?

No, yes, I was waiting for us to finish the page. We're gonna take a long guess episode. Oh my God. But most important, we'll be right back. What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up?

What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? Well, we're back. Oh my God, Scott is eating a snack. He's got a wash it down with some water, apparently washer. He had a water that we've advertised on our...

Thanks, him water. Yeah. Is that coconut? It is coconut, this is a... I'll explain it to you. This is one of our sponsors, Hint. Yeah, what I said. Well, I was an un... Your headphones were an un? My headphones weren't, I didn't hear it. Yeah, what I said that. Well, I was an on.

Your headphones were on? My headphones were on, didn't hear it. Oh, your headphones were on. So you could only hear our voices in the room. In the room, right? Which those are room registers the same way as in the headphones. True. Also, you guys are whispered,

I mean, the mics are picking it up, but like you guys have never spoken above a whisper. We are in three separate quarters of the room whispering. Yeah, because the babies are asleep. Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. Yeah. Mwah!

Well, it's time, once again, or a feature. Now, this is not a game. This is a feature where we play a game. And if you would like to send us one, you can write to threedomusa.gmail.com, and that is how we get them. That's exactly the process. I mean, it's as simple as that.

You send them, we get them. Yeah. There's not much more to it. After that, I think God's in. Yeah. And God does help us in choosing which ones we use. God guides my every move. You want to do dumb stuff, and I'm like, really God? Really God. It's God guides my every move. You wanna do dumb stuff and I'm like,

really God, really God. It's still cool. Interesting move. Okay, God. So this is submitted by Justin Russell, two first names. And it is called unprepared pastor. Mm. Unprepared pastor.

Okay. One person is a Southern pastor. I think we could be pastors from any region. Yeah, it's, I mean, we'll see what comes out. Giving a eulogy that they are willfully unprepared for. The other two come up with a famous person, real or fictional, who died, where they died in, where they died and where they died. Maybe the second where was supposed to be when. Probably or how. How? That's better. I think the wind. That's better. Yeah, who cares? Who's curious about where, too? Maybe

that's covering your house. Well, where am I being? It's probably covered in the house. Yeah. But why? Well, because all things must die. And God is cruel. God is cruel. The worst. The pastor then begins the eulogy giving details about the deceased. If they are on the right track, the congregation says, Amen. If they are saying something wrong, the congregation clears their throats. And if the pastor is spot on with any of the important details, the congregation hollers hallelujah. Got it.

They're struggling to come up with anything, the congregation may feel the Holy Spirit through them and say something about the deceased to lead the pastor on the right track. So it's a sort of like sort of 20 questions kind of thing. So who would like to be the pastor first? I think you do. Okay. And then you will decide on a noble person. We'll text each other. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. All right. I'm going to text you Lauren. Is that right?

Yeah. And I guess it's somebody you have to know something about there am I texting something or no? No, no, I'm just gonna text you who died and how and then He gets that information I throw things out there So you do not listen to any of that. No, I was having a personal crisis No, I wasn't a crisis But it was personal why you do this show. Yeah, I was wondering what is he talking about? Why do I have to listen to any of that. No, I was having a personal crisis. No, I wasn't a crisis. Like you were wondering, but it was personal. Why you do this show? Yeah, I was wondering, what is he talking about?

Why do I have to listen? I mean, I got it. I actually get it, though. So we say, how will Luiya, if you're getting it, of course? No, if he did it exactly. We say, amen, if he's holding the right track. He's holding the right track. Clear your throat if I'm way off.

Yeah, yeah. And then how will Luiya, if I'm right on? Got it. I love it. All right. So you have your person? Oh, oh, thank you. I'm very, very loving. With thank you all for being here. What a sad day this is, but also a glorious day because this person is now in heaven with Jews as a prize. No. This person,

there was a complicated person who maybe did not do the right thing all the time. And now they are at least at least. But it's Michael Jackson. No, no, not even going. I was just very joke. There's no judgment on this person's character. I was distracted by, I was thinking of Michael Jackson's

all the way over. Which one? Pihuachi, a pretty young thing. Cause I saw a pretty young thing in the back of the, Hey, what's that? I'm the pretty young thing in the back. Oh, hello, please. How are you? Little, hello, please hallelujah little little who oh right off

This man was Subway the who everyone was familiar with Famous the world over hallelujah and Beloved by all. Oh, yeah, let me name it. Amen. Wow, I'm gonna not that's so much big signals, but all the signals. Yeah. No, this person was a maybe loved by some and despised by others. Hallelujah. My brother.

But one thing we can agree on is that their art changed the world. Hallelujah. That their art, they're interviewing, they're acting. They're as a politician. Jesus Christ. Amen. Okay. This person ran for office. Can I say what category the person is?

If the spirit speaks through you, it's a fictional character. Oh, this is it. I don't know that we never get there. Not somebody who we ever met because they were not real, but Halloween, but a beloved character of fiction from the books. Hallelujah. Hallelujah.

Didn't know. And later movies. Hallelujah, my brother. Hallelujah. Who is now, we know for a fact definitely is dead. Yeah, Hallelujah. Because they died in the thing. Hallelujah.

And we have a great affection for this hallelujah person. Hallelujah. And an indelible. He big hit. An indelible character. Hallelujah. That appeared in I don't know. I don't know. Maybe ten books? We just don't know. We don't. And it's out of our hands. And four movies.

Maybe ten books. Maybe ten books. Maybe ten books. We just don't know. We don't know. And it's out of our hands. And four movies. Maybe ten books.

Maybe ten books. Maybe ten books. Maybe ten books. Maybe ten books. We just don't know. We don't know. And it's out of our hands. And four movies.

Um, Amen, amen. And smooth. Five movies. Hallelujah. And we could be wrong. I don't know about that. We know that he was in space. We know that he was a superhero.

We know that he was a cartoon character. We know when we think of this man and if the spirit moves you, please do not be ashamed to speak out. We know that this man died young. He died in an inappropriate age. Hallelujah. A little too soon. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. And he was a he was a complicated character. Hallelujah. May be not nice at first, but then the Hallelujah. Hallelujah. He lived in England a long time. He lived in America. Hallelujah. From America. Hallelujah. And his story of redemption is one that we spread out over several

movies. Hallelujah. Five. We just checked hallelujah And we call upon the Holy Spirit Because the brothers we talked about him today hallelujah. Oh, we have talked about him just this day Yes, so we mentioned him such a crazy quiz. He is he's God. He's David's because that is the person we talked about the most. Yeah, how do we all other people may have left our minds? He I will say the spirit is speaking through me. Oh, yes, brother. He didn't even know he was a good man. He didn't know anything. He didn't know anything about anything about himself. Oh, his name of course is and we decided it. His name is Jason. Even though I don't know that we know for sure that he died, but he's. We have a reason of how he did. Unrelated to the films

probably. Okay. Yeah, unrelated to the film. All right. Well, this was a tricky one. But Jason Boyle, we commend your spirit to fiction about it. How did he die for heaven? He died of course by Chokhano Pinaut. He was shot in the fucking face.

He died peacefully in his bed, sprained by grandchildren. Poison. Fill down some stairs. It's old. It's old. Yeah. A sword. I mean, this is an old.

I just don't know. There's no way. COVID-19. You are so specific. Dip theory. Dip theory. Dip theory. that just don't have any. There's no way. COVID-19. You are so specific. Dip theory. Dip theory. Dip theory.

All right. Where do we know that he's dead? No, we're just supposed. No, that's for that. No, that was never a rule that he died. Let's do another round. That was great. Let's do another round.

Who wants to be it? I assumed if it was a well-known thing that we also knew how this person died. No, because it could be a famous person that we're making up those things. Like Tom Cruise or whatever. Yeah, we're making it. Okay. Oh, okay.

Who wants to go? You do. Great. You do. But hold on a second. If they were, should we restrict to people who are actually dead to make it go a little faster?

I think it should be people who are a lot more like it go a little faster. People who are. I think it's more like just 20 questions where you're trying to figure out my person and then also how they died. Yeah, let's just yeah, let's do that. I assumed that it was somebody who actually died. That would have made sense. It's not even a real person. But I mean, I'm proposing why don't we do that because it will be easier. I think that's something I think it's even harder because. But I mean, I'm proposing, why don't we do that? Because it will be easier.

We need to, that's already taken abode. I think that's even harder because I don't know who died. Yeah. But then you're still playing the same way. No, I think it's easier to, I think it should be anyone ever. Because also if you know how the person died, then there's none of the guessing

about how the person died. I think it's fun to guess these two things. Fake game. Well, how would I ever have guessed diphtheria? Well, that's insane. I don't know. Maybe you say like he had stomach problems. And then we go, Amen, Amen. I was never going to get there.

Well, it's you text me a person and how they died. And I'm going to turn it off. Do not disturb. So I receive this text. And then Lauren is going to be the Southern or from any region. I might be, I don't know what region I'm going to be from. Okay, this is exciting. Have you workshop a character at all? Yeah, while he was talking the whole time, I was just thinking about what I would do. Oh, good, good. That's smart.

Um, no, let's start. Ready? Oh, there it is. I heard the thing. Oh, dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to mourn the loss of an amazing real person. to mourn the loss of an amazing real person. Fiction of him. Yeah. Hallelujah. Real person who has passed and we missed her greatly. We miss him greatly.

Hallelujah. Hallelujah. We missed him so much and he was so old. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. And he was very talented in his craft. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. And he was very talented in his craft. Hallelujah. Amen.

He was. Amen. He was an actor. He was a musician. He was a painter. He was a carpenter. He was a politician. He was a teacher. He was a teacher. He was an astronaut. He was he was

He was a He was a rapper He was a just famous-oring famous kind of person. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. He was My dad say something to show? Oh, please, if it's fair, it is flowing through my veins right back. Speak on that. Speak on that. He, I loved to consume what he would do.

He was a chef. Amen. Hallelujah. I think. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. He was a food. Amen. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. I think. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. He was a food creator.

Hallelujah. And we loved that. Hallelujah. And we loved to consume what he created. Hallelujah. I said. And we consumed. We consumed his meats.

Hallelujah. His cheese, his bread, his meats, his Jesus his bread his meats His stakes his George Foreman George Foreman He didn't have he didn't make stakes yet that man had a grill But how about the person we're speaking about today he made meats Exclusively His name was Slim Jim. OK.

And this very real person who was a meat seller and chef, he, um, his name is Emerald. His name was. He was known here at TV show. Maybe if you tried to figure out the meat. He made hamburgers. He made chicken. Hallelujah.

Her due. Who made chicken? I mean, the man laying here at Rested and we love that about him. He was a chicken salesman and a chicken chef. Hallelujah. And that is something I know a lot about. And he... Can I say this thing? Here is speaking to me. I loved the seven things that he would put on his chicken. No, how many? 11. 11.

No, it wasn't. Even better. He had a TV show. No, he didn? 11. 11. Even better. He had a TV show. I don't know. He didn't have a TV show. 11 things. Can I say how to love? Can I also say?

Any time I would see Jim Gaffigan portray him on television, he would make me cry. Well now, may I say something? Yes. One time I saw George Hamilton portray him on television. man, I say something. Yes. One that one time I saw George Hamilton portray him on television. I was crying myself. And when Norm McDonald also portrayed him before his own. Kentucky Fried Chicken Man Colonel say. Hallelujah, sister. Hallelujah. I got there halfway through the descriptions of who did what and how did he die sister? I've died of COVID-19. I mean was Colonel Sanders a real person?

Yes. Okay. Hallelujah. He died of a heart attack. He died of a of leukemia. He died. There's no way to take it. He died of a car accident.

Get us say the spirit is moved me. He was this death was accident in a boat. On a train on a plane falling on a knife. He deep fried himself. He's to poo-good himself. He fell on a knife and fork and cut himself up and He fell Bell downstairs when it was a knife. Oh, the amen is it's part of it Yeah,, and then we said, how do you after fill? God.

Anyway, that was fun. That was fun. We got time to wrap it up. Time to wrap it up. I know, we had an extra page content in there. Yeah. So page you have until the end of April, Kelly, I hope you were listening because it looks good for you.

We know you're listening. We know you're listening. Yeah. Listen, if you would like to email us, of course, 3dmeosagmo.com. If you would like to call us, send us a, leave us a voicemail. You can call us at Hagg claims eight. Hagg claims eight. Number eight.

Hagg claims eight. Number eight. You want to hear ad free episodes and why wouldn't you go to Stitcher Premium or CBB World and guys, that's going to be the end of this episode. This is really, yeah. We've really done it. There's no more left for this episode. There's nothing left for us to do here.

Except say goodbye. That's right, goodbye. Bye. I'm gonna be a fucking fucking fucking fucking idiot. Hear, Lord!