Threedom - Sell De Meat

Episode Date: November 7, 2024

Lauren, Scott, and Paul discuss popcorn, mashed potatoes, and margarine before playing Word Alleyoop. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Listen ad-free and unlock bi-weekly THREEMIUMS on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! We're all getting married. This is my surprise for you guys. Oh, we're eloping. We're eloping What if we were all in a polycule? That'd be fun with our spouses, you know, I heard there's gonna be some new tlc shows One or more focusing on such more like tmi shows I'll be tuning in. I mean, I know you're making fun, but I like to learn

I love to learn it from the learning channel. Channel. You can learn about pimples being popped. There was a time after Emmy was born that I was, we would put her to bed and I would go downstairs and just relax with a nice episode of Pimple Popper. That show is so fucking gross. Like it's actually beyond my, also it's never a pimple. The feel good aspect of people,

you know how people like something can grow on your body and you just never get it checked and that's what most of their lives were? Well I don't know about that because I do check things that grow randomly on my butt. And you have constant growths. I mean, but the idea of having something like there's like a huge lump on your head.

Yeah. It grows and then you don't get effects. I'm like, that's so beyond. But a lot of people don't have the money to and the, you know. Sure, I understand that. See, I have empathy for these people. And so when I watch it, I- I do too.

It doesn't sound like it. Well, but I think they're fucked up. Sounds like you're a sociopath. Scott sounds very empathic and you do not. You sound great. Thank you. But there's something about the release of these people finally.

And it's inspirational in the sense of, see how easy it is if you just go talk to one person, some of these problems that you have. Like Andy Daly was talking about something that was wrong in his house that was high up. And he stared at it for years, and then he finally went to go take care of it, and it took him three minutes.

Yeah. I mean, there is that also that show, My Feet Are Killing Me. Oh, that's gross, I would never watch that. And that's the same thing. No. Now, what if I started a show, which is the same premise, but it's called My Dogs Are Barking,

could I get away with it? I think it's a little cuter, and I think you might get more of an audience for that. And there'll be dogs on the show. Yeah. With foot problems? That would be constantly barking. No, the of an audience for that. And there'll be dogs on the show. Yeah. With foot problems. That would be constantly barking. No, the dogs would just be around and they'd be barking.

It would be chaotic. Like there's a batallion just trying to get stuff done. There's just a bunch of dogs. I read that Clint Eastwood's new movie, Juror Number Two, Clint would fuck up takes all the time. I thought you shortened his name from Clint Eastwood to Clintwood. You said Clintwood. I said Clintwood? Well, because he said he would eat Cheetos. I thought you shortened his name from Clint Eastwood to Clintwood. You said Clintwood. I said Clintwood?

Well, because he said he would eat Cheetos. Oh, Clint-eat, Clintwood eat Cheetos. I get it. Clintwood-eat Cheetos. The actor and director, Clint Eastwood, is changing his name, he's shortening it, to Clintwood. No one has time in his life.

He wants to have a romantic name as if he had a partner, putting two names together, but just using his first and last name. He is now Clint Wood. So he would eat Cheetos as the director or the- Yeah, yeah. Just they'd be doing takes and suddenly you hear crunch. The crunchy ones.

Not the puffs. And Chester Cheeto's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got another one. Another one. Another take ruined. He like, he clouds people's minds. Yeah.

They're bad at their jobs. He likes to make you really go into the crunch without thinking about who's around you. I saw a poster for that movie. I went to see the substance by myself. I wanted to see it. No, see, you went by yourself. I was so surprised.

I actually was like, oh, that sounds so fun that you posted it in your close friends saying, you wanna join me. You went on Halloween, like Halloween night? Halloween day. Halloween day. Yeah, yeah, cause Janie had already seen it. Right.

I was out of town and I really did want to see it. I really wanted to see it. I wanted to see it on the big screen. I know, me too. It's worth it. I mean, it's like, yeah. I'm never gonna get to. Don't say that.

I don't have enough money. You're probably right. How much is it now? I always forget. 16 bucks. I forget how fun it is to go to the movies by yourself. I know, I love it. You know what? It's so fucking fun. And that is such a good reminder

because I'm gonna book that on my calendar. I'm gonna go do that. Just go see The Substance by yourself. I'll go with you. No, I'll just sit behind you. Each time I do it, I enjoy it. But then it kind of goes away from my mind, like, no, you have to go to the movies with someone.

And then I hope I will remember next time. It's actually better in some ways because you're not even thinking about anyone else's experience. You're just relaxing. You're not caring about anyone's enjoyment. You're just experiencing life alone. The way we'll all die.

Do you have popcorn? I did have popcorn. I immediately spilled it. I put it on the seat next to me and it tipped over. And that was half of that popcorn gone. But it was also- Were you able to go up and say like, hey, I spilled all the popcorn, is it possible?

No, because even half of that bag was more than I needed. It's a lot of, when you get that- It gives you a tummy ache. That salty sting in your lips. I was actually thinking earlier that your glasses are like movie theater butter. Yeah, I was thinking that too. I wanna lick your glasses.

Scott, were you thinking that? I don't get butter on my popcorn. You don't? No, I don't. It's too messy. Me either. It makes the movie theater popcorn so much better to have the butter on the popcorn.

When you walk into the theater, you can smell that popcorn smell and it makes you get the popcorn, but then being a responsible adult, you go, oh, no butter. And then it doesn't taste the way that you smelled it. You need it to smell and taste good. I like it better without butter, I think.

Do you really? Yeah. Have you ever been wanting to- Why don't you chop off your tongue? Okay. Because you don't need it anymore. Have you ever been wanting to put candy into your popcorn? Yeah, that's nice.

Reese's Pieces and Hot and Popcorn. I never did that until maybe last couple years. I went, fuck it, let's throw some M&Ms in this fucking thing. I tried it every once in a while, but I don't like the two together. Yeah, I like a salty sweet. I would actually be interested in making some sort of popcorn candy ball.

Do you know what, baby? We should sell some. Yeah, in our store. I'm talking to baby. You're talking to the baby? I like salty sweet. Yeah. Stop pointing at her.

But I think with those textures, it doesn't work for me. But like a caramel corn, I can enjoy that. You know, I can only, a few pieces maybe. I don't need to eat a lot of that. No, not a lot of that. No, not a lot of that. No, no, no. No.

Like the mix, the famous Chicago mix. Garrett's popcorn, absolutely. Yes. Wonderful mix. But wait. We used to get, every year we'd have at least one big tri-tub of popcorn. Yeah. Gifted to my mom because she was a teacher.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone would give that. And we would, that'd be, that's a huge part of the holidays actually. Absolutely. I should get one of those this year you should be a teacher okay I got it once from some show that I did I can't remember what it was but it was a huge show because he gives no this is a long time ago respects the Garrett's popcorn being from Chicago this is a long time ago and I can't remember what if we

all just bought each other a lot Wow Garrett's popcorn problem solved we should you mean as a society? Problem solved. Yeah. Everyone pick one person in the world to buy it for. Let's, let's take a guess on. A global secret Santa. Yeah.

Where everyone's getting the same thing. I'm going to buy it for Putin. Tips on Putin. Let's take a guess on how much we think it costs. To get a three way popcorn bucket from Garrett's popcorn. What do you mean by three way popcorn popcorn bucket from Garrett's popcorn. What do you mean by three-way popcorn bucket? Where it's butter, cheddar,

Oh, got it, got it, got it. Caramel corn. Okay, I thought that we were all gonna have to share. And chess. No, we're all gonna. And chess. Yeah, I shouldn't have looked it up already. I'll say what I thought it was.

Okay. And what did you say after? Oh, the price you mean? Yeah. Okay. How big are these? Because I'm not sure. It's big, it's like, you can wrap your arms around it, like in a gentle hug. Yeah. Okay. How big are these? Because I'm not picturing. It's big.

It's like, you can wrap your arms around it like in a gentle hug. Yeah. A gentle hug. Yeah. Right. But not an aggressive hug. It actually, it should be pretty tight

because it's not that big. Could you give it a pat on the butt maybe? Sure. While you're hugging it. While you're hugging it, sure. Take a good job. Can you get second base with this, Tub? You can do anything to it

because it's an inanimate object. Yeah. Hey, that's true. There are no laws. There are no laws. There are no because it's an inanimate object. Yeah. Hey, that's true. There are no laws. There are no laws. Protecting inanimate objects. And that's something I want to work on. Yeah.

Okay. Okay. I'm going to guess. I'm guessing 30. $125. My guess was $49. The answer is $66. That's too much. It is too much because you know popcorn

doesn't cost much at all. Yeah. So that's tough. But it's the flavor you're paying for. But- And the tin and the experience. You get to reuse the tin. What do you use putting in that tin? Buttons.

Tons of buttons. Tons. I separate my buttons into three categories. I can't throw a button away. Broken? Broken, white and black. And they fill the whole thing. Ha ha ha ha ha. All right, let's buy it for each other. broken, white and black. They fill the whole thing.

All right, let's buy it for each other. I might buy one. I'll buy. OK. My family, you know, my enjoy that. I can see paying that much money for a special thing. I'll buy it for you, Lauren. OK. And then I'll accept that. And then we're going to buy it for what? I love this plan.

Where do you buy them? Garrett's popcorn.com. No, Garrett's popcorn. By the way, I've been adding an S. It's like saying Nordstrom's. Sally Fields. It's Garrett popcorn shops. It is Sally Fields, isn't it?

No, it's Sally Field. Yeah, it's just the one. Yeah. Oh, but here, what is this? That'd be too greedy to have more than one field. Yeah. Now I see the popcorn factory selling it for less, 35.99. I'll see, this is more what I'm talking about.

Yeah, it doesn't have to be Garrett, okay? Because does Garrett taste demonstratively better? Well, Garrett is really good. Okay. Demonstrably? No. Demonstratively? Demonstratively.

Rick and Morty. Trulia's Theronie. Doesatively. Rick and Morty. Charlize Theronie. Does it taste Rick and Mortally better? Yeah. They have a Rick and Morty store and you can go in and get it. It's probably cheaper in person. You gotta listen to our three-me-a-month.

Oh, oh, I didn't realize. In a week to understand what we're talking about. A different episode. It's like Fred and Sutter. Yes. It's like Gray Sunderfire. Yes. It's like Gray Sunder fire. Yes. Gray Sunder anatomy.

This is the time by the way, when we start buying Christmas gifts for everyone. It is the time actually. Have you bought all your Christmas gifts yet? I'm done. Yeah, I'm done. They're all done. Halloween struck midnight.

I said, I'm done with Christmas. I do my Christmas shopping December 26th every year. Wow. I do it on Halloween. I just buy everyone Halloween candy. I actually do think I should get started soon because I don't want to be in that crazy pinch. You know what?

I don't want to be in a crazy pinch either. But Black Friday too. But Black Friday too? Yeah. I got to find another Pedro Pascal magazine somewhere. That's all you're going to give her every year. Just give her the same one. I gotta find one.

Unless you ruined it. Let me look up Pedro Pascal magazine. See if there are any. Hey, if I wanna write a letter to this magazine, where do I go? Do you know what the address is? Oh, Pedro Pascal magazine. Pedro Pascal magazine.

I mean, you just Google that, there's a bunch. So. That's odd. That's great. I should be able to get some. That is indeed odd. Magazine shop US. Magazine shop US. Magazine shop. Magazine shop, there's a bunch. That's a lot. That's great. I should be able to get some. Magazine Shop US. Magazine Shop US. Magazine Shop.

Magazine Shoppa da doop. Magazine Shoppa da doop. Magazine Pedro Pascal Magazine. You're the dog now, man. You're the man now, dog. It's crazy that he was a Scottish guy who just got to pretend he talked like everyone else. You know what I mean? Do you think that's what talked like everyone else yeah cuz like he'd be in movies. Were we the ones pretending that? Reality recap yeah did we

did they announce who's gonna be on Traders? Yeah they did a while ago. Can we read that? They did they did. Please read that Scott. I need to think about what that's gonna be like. Reality recap yeah. I just need to know what that's gonna be like. People are looking for updates from us. I need stuff that's really good like that. I need stuff that's really good logged out. Alright, who do we got? We got Bob Harper, the coach from The Biggest Loser. How?

Okay. How? You got another Bob, Bob the Drag Queen from RuPaul's Drag Race. You have Brittany from Big Brother. Hey, I'm looking for that. Not familiar. And you have Carolyn Weiger from Survivor. Not familiar.

Chanel Ayan from Real Housewives of Dubai. That means something to me. I watched a little of that, but I'm not sure. You wanna see her? Yeah. You wanna see her. Okay. Okay.

Then you have Chrishell Stouse from Selling Sunset. Okay, that'll be fun. That'll be fun for you. Okay, Ciara Miller from Summer House. I don't watch that, but everyone says I should. Okay, Danielle Reyes, Danielle from Big Brother. Great. I'm amazed by this.

Dolores Catania from Real Housewives New Jersey. That means I'm gonna be- You wanna see her? I don't watch Real Housewives New Jersey, but okay, I do know who that is. Okay, Dorinda Medley from Real Housewives of New York City. No, that's a good one. That's good casting.

I have to assume they're all at that level with the ones I don't know. You know what I mean? Dylan. Why would you assume that? Because that's great. Dylan Efron from Down to Earth with Zac Efron. That means something to me.

What? I guess his brother. Is he his brother? Yeah. Gabby Windy from The Bachelorette. Oh, Gabby from The Bachelorette. Gabby, that's fine. Yeah, who is?

Robbie's girlfriend. Right. Who's again? Robbie Hoffman. Oh, Gabby from the Bachelor. Gabby, that's fine. Yeah, who is? Robbie's girlfriend. Right. Who's again? Robbie Hoffman. Oh, right. Jeremy Collins from Survivor. That means nothing to me. God, they all want a Survivor. Lord Ivar Mountainbatten, a British royal.

That means something to me. That means a lot. I respect that. I hope he's like that other British dude. I got to get on the show. Nikki Garcia, a professional wrestler And then Boston Rob. I'm gonna throw I'm gonna put this out there I'm not done. Robin Dixon Boston Rob very final wait go on Robin Dixon from real housewives Potomac. Okay

She's good Sam Asghari, I guess Britney Spears. Oh, her ex. Yeah. And then you have Tom Sandoval. What, he's on this? Yes. Tony Vlachos from Survivor. Oh, Wells from Bachelor in Paradise. That is so beautiful.

I want to be on this so bad. Yeah. It's all reality. It's all reality, people. But it shouldn't be. Let's make a reality show where it's the three of us. Well, so wait, there's that one and they have the celebrity one. Three person traitors. Right. And all three of us are traitors. It's going to be three episodes. We meet up and plan who we're going to knock off. Yeah. And it's one of us. Yeah. Well, they tell us we're all traitors individually, but we all think there's only one trader. That's pretty funny. Wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. That's fine. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I mean, now we can't do it, but I would like to see that. Wasn't there celebrity traders coming out as well with like Courtney Cox and so? This counts as celebrity traders. Not reality. No, it was like, it was like.

I don't know. I truly. Courtney Cox was on it. Lauren, I gotta be honest with you. I truly don't know. Okay. Lauren, he doesn't know. I'm gonna do whatever I can to get on this show.

Okay. You've done the Lord's work in getting on all gonna do whatever I can to get on this show. Okay. You've done the Lord's work in getting on all the shows. I really have gotten on all the game shows. You've gotten on Millionaire, you got on Wheel. I've been on Wheel, I did great. You did, Pyramid. Pyramid. Not Jeopardy.

I did Pyramid. You didn't do Jeopardy, you did that. I didn't, but it could happen. It could happen. So you've gotten on a lot of the ones that Paul and I sit here and go, oh, and you were on Family Feud. I was on Family Feud. You both were on Family Fe and I sit here and go oh and you were on Family Feud I was on Family Feud. Yes. That's true. We're on Family Feud.

That was fun. Meanwhile? Zilch. You just want to be on a game. I just want to be on one. I'm gonna see who casts this and I'm gonna reach out personally. Yeah. Why not?

For yourself. You know what? I'm gonna do that for all shows. Yeah. Hey, I wanna ask you. Hey, I wanna ask you. Your television show is very popular. I'd like to be on it. I'm just sitting around. In case you need anyone, I wanna ask you. Hey, I noticed your television show's very popular. I'd like to be on it. I'm just sitting around. If you need anyone, I'm available.

I'd love to do that. We would talk about it constantly on the podcast. Maybe I'll take out an ad in Deadline saying I'm available to be on TV. Oh my God, you should, that'd be great. Wouldn't it be so funny? Does Deadline have ads? No.

Oh, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. It's not a physical magazine, is it? No, no. It's just a website. But I guess it's a website, but does anyone go to the actual, imagine- It's not a physical magazine, is it? No, no. It's just a website. But I guess it's a website, but does anyone go to the actual website or do they just read posts?

I just read about it on Instagram. I read about it actually on IMDB. Oh! Ooh la la! Amazing, right? That's where I get all my news. But can I just say how funny would it be to infiltrate this cast and then like kick off Tom Sandoval in the first four seconds? How great would it be to be like, I'm a like kick off Tom Sandoval in the first four seconds?

How great would it be to be like, I'm a contestant and then kick him in the balls. How are you going to infiltrate the cast? Well, I mean, if I was just on this show, my main goal would be like, let's get him out. He's a traitor, he's a traitor, he's a traitor, he's a traitor, and just get him out. I kind of feel like that is what's going to happen.

Yeah, yeah. But they do that with Boston Robb. They tried to do it on Deal or No Deal Island and he just sticks around. Wasn't Boston Robb already on this? No, he was no. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. good stuff. Good stuff. We all text each other about the traders. We do. That's why we have to do that. I can't wait and we're supposed to have a Traders Night that has yet to be booked.

Where we actually play the gun. That's right. Jess was gonna set this. Needs to happen. Needs to happen. To be fair, it's very hard to coordinate that many schedules. It is and we're trying to get our, did we get our dinner on the books?

Yeah, we did. Shit, I don't think I put that in my cal. Well, I sent you the invite. We have a once-smearly dinner. Well, don't tell me on this. That we all go to. We all honor? We all honor it, we all cherish it,

although Lauren didn't go one year. Yeah, give me a break. It was weird that it was the funnest year. That's a good point. I have to book a babysitter. I hear you and I feel hurt by you. I don't see, oh, here it is. I act out to get attention. Okay, I see it here, this is great. I don't see it. Oh, here it is. I act out to get attention.

Okay, I see it here. This is great. I love that it's so early. I do too. Yeah. I was glad that I had the foresight to- And the foreskin. Ew.

And the foreskin, frankly, to get on that in advance. Yeah. Yeah. Cause we did eight o'clock one time, I think. Paul's a hero for getting this. And the meals are heavy. I'm gonna want to eat that earlier.. Yeah. Yeah. Cause we did eight o'clock one time, I think it's like, that's a bit late. Paul's a hero for forgetting this. And the meals are heavy. I'm gonna want to eat that earlier.

The meals are heavy. Yeah. Yes. I'm gonna have a, you know, you know what? Can I say I don't love the food? We're not saying what the place is. I, the food took a downturn for me last year. Didn't love, didn't love how it tasted last year.

It's been the exact same for me every time I've ever been there. Really? Yeah. I felt like the quality was lesser last year. Didn't love how it tasted last year. It's been the exact same for me every time I've ever been there. Really? Yeah. I felt like the quality was lesser last year. Really? Yeah. It felt the same to me.

There's not enough options, first of all. No, there's not a ton of options. No, I want like Jerry's Deli menu. My feeling is if you have very few options, they should rot. I want the Cheesecake Factory menu. I forgot about Jerry's Deli and their tall menu. Wait, what if we do next year a cheesecake? Ew. And then we hire next year a cheesecake? Ew.

And then we hire the Christmas carolers ourselves. And then we get it for the entire restaurant. To give us lethal injections. Of cheesecake. When was the last time you were at a cheesecake factory, Paul? Can you think of it? It's been literal decades. Oh, I have been very recently.

Wow. My mom loves it. I feel like there was one next to the, what turned into the Arclight at the Sherman Oaks Mall in the Sherman Oaks Gallery that we would occasionally go to because they didn't have a lot of restaurants. They had a P.F. Chang's. They had a Fudd Ruckers, which I would go and get the salad there all the time. How did they get away with that Fudd Ruckers?

They knew what they were doing. They knew what they were doing. But we're going to call it Fudd Ruckers. We're going to call it ffff. We're going to call it a drug or look your father. Should Kirsten just be allowed everywhere now? What if there was a restaurant called Roddy's? What does that mean, though?

Like, what does that pair? It just makes you think of sodomy. Oh, OK. Oh, yeah, actually, it did. That's all it is. It did. I was trying to figure out what you were saying. Rotomy, I thought. I thought deuteronomy. Deuteronomy, that's exactly right.

Rotomy, R-O-D-O-M-Y. Well, if I saw it written, yeah. What about? I think it should be called sodomy. Shotomy. Stodomy. I think sodomy because sodomy, it kind of sounds like I'm saying sodomy. What if it was called sodomy?

Sodomy. Then it was a steakhouse. What if it was called seldom,yte? Sodomyte. Then it was a steakhouse. What if it was called seldom eat? And you got to have sex with the steaks. Called what? Seldom eat. Seldom eat. No, it's sel-da-meat.

Seldom eat. And you seldom eat there. All right, we have to take a break. Yeah, I'll say. Hey Paul, are you ready to elevate your daily routine? Yeah, it sucks. Why? What do you do all day? What do I do?

I kind of, I count on my hands. Just to- Up to two because you have two hands? Yeah. Yeah. And then you start over? Yeah. All day long.

That's my daily routine. Well look, I have something better for you, OK? OK. Almost anything would be. I'd like to hear it. Almost anything would be. Sure, good luck. But listen to this.

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selection of audiobooks alongside popular podcasts and exclusive audible originals, and are they conveniently available in one user-friendly app? Well, Paul. Oh my god, here you go. I'll just, I'm not going to sugarcoat it. Yes. Thank you. In fact, I've been particularly engrossed in The Nightingale by Kristen Hanna and Atomic Habits by James Clear. I read one word from each and I alternate. How do you keep that straight in your mind? You and you play one word from each.

That's right. Thank you. It's me. And I just wanted to say there's something uniquely invigorating about immersing yourself in an audiobook that revitalizes your spirit. Thanks for saying that. Now you have to go though, right? Yeah, bye. Here's what I'd like to do and tell me if this is possible.

I'd like to discover my favorite genres or branch out into new ones. Yeah, all possible. I'd like to explore bestsell genres or branch out into new ones. Yeah, all possible. I'd like to explore bestsellers, new releases, and thousands of audiobooks, podcasts, and originals. Yeah, all possible. Are they all available for unlimited listening with the members that grows richer over time? You know what, Paul?

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and registered dietitians in Weight Watchers clinic. See how Weight Watchers fits you at WeightWatchers.com. That's WeightWatchers.com. That's WeightWatchers.com. And we're back. Yeah. Oh wait, so here's the thing. So I saw the poster for juror number two. Juror number two.

No information. It was just, here's who's in it. It's called juror number two. There was some log line. Like it didn't even say it was a movie? No, it said it was a, I guess I put that together for context. I was in a movie theater.

It had credits. But there was like, there was no indication what it was about. I'm gonna look it up. I can't remember if it was a true story. I doubt it, I mean. It was just juror number two and a guy looking sad. That's enough.

In a courtroom. It's that guy two and a guy looking sad. That's enough in a courtroom. It's that guy from it's Nickle's about a boy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. From the dinner or whatever. A juror for a high profile murder trial finds himself struggling with a serious moral dilemma that could influence the verdict and potentially convict or free the accused killer. Sounds good. Yeah.

Did you watch so many movies were like that back in the 90s, where it was like, there'd be three of those out a week. Yeah. Did you watch- I remember when so many movies were like that back in the nineties where it was like, there'd be three of those out a week. And you'd go see most of them. Brian, what's his name? Brian. The guy from Breaking Bad. Cranston. You see that show?

You know, we watched the first season of it and it didn't do it for us. Oh, I loved the first season. I mean, we loved it. Your honor, I think. It didn't do it for us. Oh, I loved the first season. I mean, we loved it. Your honor. I did watch Presumed Innocent in England. I auditioned for that. The entire season one night.

Which part? You watched Presumed Innocent UK? Yeah, yeah, and they went with Jake Gyllenhaal. Yeah, I get it. I auditioned for some girl who works with him. Some girl. It wasn't me, let's just put it that way. I wasn't in it. You know who was? Shaggy, isn't that wild? He was, then he actually went, it't me. Let's just put it that way. I wasn't in it.

You know who was? Shaggy. Isn't that wild? He was. Then he was actually like, it was me. Yes. And you saw me on Presumed Innocent? It was me. Guys, it's November. So what? It just crossed over into November. We- Just crossed over.

We did. Our last episode was into November. We just crossed over. Our last episode was on Halloween. We've crossed the international date line. Were that up to the deadline with this? Yes, we are. Oh my God. We're recording this to be totally honest on election day in the morning.

Yeah, wait. Pretending like we're not. Tomorrow is this episode? Well, yeah, tomorrow night. Yeah. So in any case, but it's- Tomorrow night? Yeah, at 9 p.m.

Oh, today's Tuesday. It's three o'clock Thursday. I know today's Tuesday. I thought today was Wednesday. Okay. In any case, what does November mean to you? Oh, what? Leaves falling, Thanksgiving. Yeah. Same. That's pretty much it yeah the colors brown light

brown yellowish brown orange brown poo brown of course you don't want to make me think of pumpkin pie yeah I love it you love pumpkin pie yeah I love it what do you put on it it's so good sometimes whipped cream but more than likely I'll eat it by itself just by itself itself. Naked. You'll raw dog pumpkin pie. Raw dog pumpkin pie, yeah. Wow. It's delicious. What about ice cream?

Too much? It's a little too much. What about ice cream with sprinkles? We call them jimmies. Oh, that's right. I love sprinkles on my ice cream. I don't think I do. I think I did when I was a kid and I don't think I like it anymore. You know what I love right now? Cookie crumbles on my ice cream.

Cookie crumbles! Well that's the way they do. It is. I've been getting, you know, well not getting, I love this ice cream from Magpies. They have a few locations in LA. There's one near me and I've never been. Oh my god, I love it. Okay. And I put the cookie crumbles on top. Can I tell you this?

Okay. I realized recently I don't like cookies and cream anything. Okay. And I put the crumbles on top. Can I tell you this? Okay. I realized recently I don't like cookies and cream anything. I love cookies and cream ice cream. Oh, I hate it. What is it? You don't like the cream. But I don't like cookies and cream bars.

It's a little, it's just too much. Well the problem is. Maybe it's the cookies then. It's the cookie. There was a period where they made, um, Hunter Wendell Mation's Hershey Bars. Of course they did. When that movie came out in the 90s. The live action one? No, the that movie came out in the 90s.

The live action one? No, the cartoon. The cartoon in the 90s? It came out like 1993? What? The cartoon? No. The cartoon of 101 Dalmatians? No, the live action maybe.

Oh, the live action. Yeah, you're a fool. Am I really? Yeah. All right, I'll eat my goddamn hat. The cartoon came out in the 60s maybe. Okay, I guess that makes sense. You're thinking of the Glenn Close one. No, you're right, you're right, I'll eat my goddamn hat. The cartoon came out in the sixties maybe. Okay, I guess that makes sense. The Glenn Close one.

No, you're right, you're right, you're right. Don't you remember all the references to the space race? You're right, you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right. And they made Hershey's bars that were cookies and cream, but I think it was mainly white chocolate or something. Yeah, exactly. And here's what they did.

This year, they repurposed that as Hershey's fangs, and they made like little miniatures. I heard about this on your podcast actually. this year, they repurposed that as Hershey's fangs. And they made like little miniatures. I heard about the Salem's lot. It's cooking just like Salem's lot. Yeah, on the Asperger's podcast. And it was disgusting. Do they still do tie-ins to movies at McDonald's or movies not popular anymore and so they don't do it?

You know, I wish they did because I do think it's cute. Remember the Jurassic Park one? Do you know what? I don't feel like I see commercials, kid-centric McDonald's commercials anymore. Because you don't watch kids TV. This is something I realized once I aged out of that. I went, why do I never see toy commercials anymore? Because they don't advertise them.

Also, the streaming has just totally decimated the advertising industry. Absolutely. And that's why streaming is not popular. It turns out that we needed commercials to sustain the business. The commercial TV was a great business. I agree with that, but streaming's not popular because of commercials? Streaming's not profitable.

Profitable, I thought you said popular. Yeah, I mean they're interchangeable to me. What a weird person. Yeah. He's a corporate shill. You're aable to me. What a weird person. Yeah. He's a corporate shill. You're a corporate shill. I'm a corporate shill, I'm part of the MSM. I'm a corporate shill, I'm a corporate shill. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,

I'm a corporate shill. What is your most favorite Thanksgiving food? What is your least favorite Thanksgiving food? I like white meat, turkey, drenched in gravy and some mashed potatoes. Mashed potatoes are my favorite, I think. Mashed potatoes are your favorite. Yeah, number two?

Gravy or no? Of course, gravy. Okay. Of course, gravy. But I don't eat a mashed potato plain, too. But you know, bad gravy is really bad. I need the gravy to be really good. No, the gravy is a tricky thing, it's true.

It can't just be like brown and thin. I hate when it's thin. It should be thick and light brown. Thick ass gravy, yeah. Yeah. Like, I don't know. I like gravy where you need a knife. Yeah, I want it to be like a gelatinous goo.

Can I tell you my, this is my mashed potatoes approach? Sure. Of course I make the little, Yeah. Dib it. The whole moat. Dib it, Dib it. The whole swimming hole. What's this reference to? Dib make the little, Yeah. Dibbit. The pull, the, Dibbit, dibbit. The old swimming hole. What's this reference to?

Dibbit. Friends. Yeah. What? It's a parody. It's a parody. That was a sketch parody of the moment when they're taking the couch down the stairs.

You're a satirist. I'm a satirist. You're like Weird Al, but for sketching. Do you think they call it Saturday Night Live because it's satire? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Obviously. I think they've said that at the top of every episode.

We decided to do it on Saturdays because we wanted it to be Saturday Night Live. Satire. Satirical. Satirical. Satir. Satire Day Night Live. Satir. Satire Day.

Satire Day Night Live. Satirda-Nay-Live. Yeah, that's how that's authentically pronounced. So, you make the moat. First of all, big pile mash pit. You make the moat, you make the hole, you put the gravy in the bowl. Are we talking close and close? here to Nadele live. Yeah, it's how that's. So, you make the moat. Make the big, first of all, big pile of mashed potatoes. You make the moat, you make the hole,

you put the gravy in the bowl. Are we talking close encounters big or? No, not tall. Okay, so when you're saying big, you mean very short, very thin. But across the entire plate. Across the entire plate. Just this tall.

Then maybe- You make the moat, you make the hole, you grab the gravy boat and pour the gravy in. Why did you say gravy bowl? Fuck. It rhymes with hole. But I said gravy boat, because it rhymes with moat.

You make the moat, you make the hole, you gravy boat. It was Iambic Contempo. Yeah, that's right. You don't realize the facts of life theme is Iambic Contempo. So I make the old swimming hole, pour the gravy in, Yeah, that's right. You don't realize the facts of life theme is I am a banana. So I make the old swimming hole, pour the gravy in, then I eat the walls of the plain

mashed potatoes. Whoa. Unconventional. Until they can no longer withstand. Sometimes they dip in there. You know what I mean? What are you dipping? Turkey or green beans?

No, I'm dipping mashed potato. This is like- Within its own bowl. This is like so these- Isn bowl. Within its own bowl. Isn't that decadent? It's honestly so- I put a napkin over my head so God can't see me doing it. This is the new trend though with bagels where you take-

Oh, no, another one. You tear off the bagel part and you dip it in the cream cheese. What are we doing? What? No. This is like the new fashionable trend. Who's fashionable with bagels? There's a new bagel store that was from the East coast that just opened here

and someone bought some and came over here and was like, oh no, you don't cut it and spread the cream cheese on it. You tear off. That's fucking stupid. What are we doing? It's stupid and yet I kind of want to do it. No, no, no.

You know how you make a peanut butter jelly sandwich? You take bread, you dip it in the jelly then you dip it in the peanut butter. But that was a trend with- That's how stupid that sounds. That was a trend with- That's how stupid that sounds. That was a trend with ramen for a while. It's like, dippable ramen. Well, that is a style of noodle in Japan,

is like a dipped. Yeah, which I say should not exist. What are you dipping in the ramen? You're dipping the ramen into the broth. The ramen into the broth. Because the broth is stronger. The broth is stronger than normal broth. So they only give you a little and then you like dip it in.

You eat it with your hands? It sounds so good. I want to eat it right now. That did make me hungry for ramen. Right? But I tried it once and I thought it was too much work. That's stupid. It's stupid. It's stupid. Do you think the president can make it so that they stop up charging you so much for delivery of food these days?

Whatever happened to the good old days where the restaurant gave me the menu and they had delivery person and then I paid them a tip, but it still cost the same as- A lot of restaurants have that. We just because of the popularity of Uber Eats, like we're no longer used to contacting the restaurant. That's why you should try to contact the restaurant first. Do you do that? You know what though? I've done that on restaurant apps and then they just use like Uber Eats or whatever. And then Uber Eats, like sometimes

it'll give you the subtotal and you go, great, that sounds good. And then they add the surcharge. It's like $30 more. Yeah, it's insane. It's very expensive. But yeah, when we, especially things like pizza, we will try to order from the restaurant directly. It's a good idea

Yeah during kovat. I was making pizzas for a while. That was one of our phases is making our own pizzas I was making kovat. Yes, you were pretty successful. I was incubating it in my body. You're patient zero Yeah, yeah for a lot of Have chicks in an incubator when you are eggs in an incubator when you were a kid? Neither. Yeah. He never got any chicks. I got to add to it. That's a solid bird. Yeah, you're a virgin. Yeah, I'm a virgin. Is that cool to say?

You know, if I found that out about you, I would go, that is so crazy. Thank you. I guess. He's been married for a while. Yeah. Was there a lot of- I would just go, that's shocking. Was there a lot of pressure, and is there still a lot of pressure on kids of like,

when are you gonna lose your virginity? Well, you know, Hocus Pocus, the movie. Yeah. Like it's this huge virgin storyline. Right, yeah. And it is really odd when you're watching it, cause you're like, I don't really wanna introduce this to my children because it's a really weird part of this movie.

Cause the word virgin is said a lot, right? It's said so many, you're a virgin. Like, Oh my God. Like it's like shock and adults being shocked that a kid is a virgin. Like it's so gross. There should be a hocus pocus cut that cuts out the virgin part. Hocus pocus cut the cuts out. Yeah. And maybe they should say you're a nerd instead. Yeah. I'm a nerd, so what? What if the spell to be effective,

the person has to be a nerd. What if we did a 40 year old virgin cut where he was 40 year old nerd? Yeah, well that is what he is. Yeah. Can I say something about that movie? Yeah, sure go ahead. Now the movie came out of a bit.

Your butt. Scott. It's so crass. That's not true. It's crass. People are going to hear this and think that's true. Okay, just for the record, Paul did not shit out the 40 year old virgin. I didn't.

It's crass. By the way, I enjoyed that movie very much. I remember really liking it. I laughed hard at that show. But I remember hearing the backstory of that movie was born out of a bit that Steve Carell used to do at Second City. Yes. And it was a guy who clearly had never been with a woman,

like trying to bro out. And like you just touch her boobs and it's like bags of sand or whatever. Right. And they kept that in the movie. Yes. But it's like, he had, but then they show him being with women,

just not having sex. So it's like, you- He actually would have touched a breast. Yes. Assensibly. Yes. Look, I was a virgin. You think he-

And I had touched breasts before I was. So you think that it was 40 year old virgin who's gotten to third base. Yes. He's 69. Right, he's 69. I was so you think it was 40 year old Virgin who's gotten to third base They should have made that totally I'm saying that for a movie that's trying to be somewhat grounded That scene should not have been in there some of the hits in the world series. They probably felt like He probably felt like that's where it came from and I want to honor this second sketch, you know? Yeah, but it would be very hard to let that go.

Paul, were you excited about the- Kill Your Darlings is what I have to say. Were you excited about the World Series? World Series was fucking fun. Why didn't you ask me? I really enjoyed it. Did you watch any? No.

That's why, dear. Cool Up got really into it this year. I thought I was going to have to watch kind of like with her begrudgingly going, oh, you're watching the World Series again? But she was more into it. Like she knew every player. She knew their storylines.

Wow. I think, I truly do think it's the Shohei Otani factor of just having like Asian players in it. Made it like kind of open up to her because she was getting into how everyone in Japan was excited about it. When they would show that bar in Japan where the people were watching

in all their Dodgers gear and everything, they were so excited for otani. It was- I mean, that's amazing. It was great. I love that shit. Yeah. But it was fun.

And I remember talking to you before it and You were well, we've talked many times before the World Series I only I think we only talked once before this World Series. We've known each other for decades, but you haven't talked once Good we've talked around each other But you you were excited never he's never looked at you on this podcast You were excited because you you dislike looked at you on this podcast. You were excited because you dislike the Yankees so much. Yeah. Why do you hate them so? What does that mean about you? I think that's just bred into me. Bread and butter. Bread and butter. Better. Okay.

For people that, this is an old commercial Lauren, are you familiar with the commercial where the butter would talk? The butter would talk. Yeah, I was like, wait a minute. Yeah, butter. Butter. I can't believe it's not butter. Parquet.

No, no, no. Parquet. It was parquet. And the person would be talking back like, it would be the little clap, the clap, the little clap. Yeah, the butter would clap its ass. Yeah. Clap its ass. I'll make it clap. No, no, no, no, no, no. I, the little clap. Yeah, the butter would clap its ass. Yeah. Clap its ass.

I'll make it clap, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'll make it clap. So for younger listeners, what would happen was there was a tub of- You think we have younger listeners? Wow. Younger than us. There was a tub of-

Younger than me? I think there's a couple younger listeners. No, we met a lot of them on tour. We love our listeners. There would be a tub of Parquet margarine on the table. And I don't know how the argument started, but a human being would say parquet, and then this tub of margarine would say butter.

And then they would go back and forth like that. And then the human would smear some margarine on a piece of toast or whatever and say, maybe this is butter. And then fucking Parquet would go, Parquet. Yeah. Fucking goddamn! Like an impish trickster.

Yes! Margarine. I wore you down! What is margarine? It's more oil-based? Honestly, I've never known any, never wanted any. Butter's more milk. I remember when my grandmother, we went over to her place.

She was just a farmer. How did you get there? She was a farmer, we drove there. What place. She was just, she was a farmer. We drove there. What route did you take? Did you go? Route 66? No, I don't know. What are we talking about?

So I'd go over the river, through the woods. Through the woods, to grandmother's house we went. And she, I remember her saying like, do you want any oleo? Oh no, she's out of line. Do you want any oleo? And I was like, are you one million years old? But using crosswords all the time.

We have to do this because of the Kaiser. Ah, this doesn't seem true. Okay. Margarine is a blend of oils that are mostly unsaturated fat. Butter is made from cream or milk. Margarine is often considered healthier than butter because it contains less saturated fat. However, some margarine may contain trans fats, which can raise LDL cholesterol levels

and decrease HDL cholesterol levels. I use the nature's spread or whatever it's called. I use earth butter natural, earth butter. Earth butter natural man, woman, camera. Earth girls, man, camera, woman. But I'm always like, is this bad for me? I'm actually not sure if it's good. I've Googled it a few times to no avail.

We just use regular old butter, but we don't use it a lot. Do you eat toast? No, I don't. Margarine's also dyed yellow. That doesn't seem good. I would say like probably three times a year I'll have toast with breakfast. So I really enjoy it.

Oh, I do it a lot. I love it. When you're on vacation, it's always an option. It's always there. When I'm on vacation, I have toast. Well, the bread that I get is Dave's killer wheat bread, Power Seed. Who's Dave?

Dave's a guy who makes bread. He's a rock and roller. He went to jail. Is it David McGrath? Was he the one who went to jail? Yes, Dave went to jail. What? He now makes bread.

Now he makes bread. And why did he go to jail? The bread's really good. I don't remember. Let's find out. What his crime was. Well, I don't want to find out in case it means I don't want't want to find out. What's the crime that would make you go like, I know he paid his price. He paid his debt to society. I think he should have stolen a loaf of bread if he did.

His family would be the perfect. There's a there's a band I was reading about today as I lay dying. I've heard of this band. It's also a famous book. Whose lead singer was convicted of hiring a hitman to kill his wife. And he went to jail for two years. Two years? Yeah. And when he got out-

That's enough time to plot and meet a lot of people who will kill your wife. When he got out, his bandmates went ahead and got back together with him and they did a whole tour and stuff and now they've all abruptly left the band, which makes me think, and this is all the speculation, this is alleged, it makes me think that he hired hitmen for all of them or something and they found out about it. But if someone hired a hitman to kill their wife,

would you ever have anything to do with them ever again? No. Of course not. I don't care how good the- Even if they paid their debt to society. I don't care how good the vibes were. No. That is such a, so when you think about it,

what a twisted fucking thing that it's like, well, I mean, look, I don't want to murder my wife, but just kill your wife yourself. I would like to pay someone to murder my wife. I do think if you went to jail calling it Dave's killer bread is kind of a crazy choice. That's true. What did he go to jail for?

He went to jail for drug distribution, burglary, armed robbery, and assault. I don't care about any. Maybe the assault. He spent 15 years, home burglary is one of the things, that's not good. But he worked in the family bakery as a child. I also think 15 years is too long for that. It's a long time. He credits antidepressant medication and CAD classes. I also think 15 years is too long for that. He credits antidepressant medication and CAD classes.

I also do too. And he started making better bread recipes. And by the way, the bread's great. Power seed bread, all this to say, due to my research, is the healthiest one and the least likely to affect you in any negative way in terms of toast. The reason why I say this is because it's listed as green on Noom. What can I tell you? Green means go. Green means go baby. Green means all signs are good to you. Should they reverse all the traffic colors for one year?

For sure. No. You're absolutely right. I have no argument. How would we spread the news? Flyers? They should do it. You get an alert on your phone one day. They're in the same place. It's just the colors are switched. Yeah, colors are switched. So that when you say they're in the same place, what do you mean? The top means go. Yeah, colors are switched so that, when you say they're in the same place, what do you mean?

The top means go, no, top means stop. Top means stop, middle means slow, but the colors are all mixed up. So the greens in the middle, the reds at the bottom. Now you know what it's like to be colorblind. Fuck you. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Walk a mile in my colorblind shoes.

My brother's colorblind, and my good friend's colorblind, and I find it fascinating. Does that affect the traffic signals? I think so. I think they have to kind of just know what they are. Once you just know that it's the top of the mountain. My brother has green and red issues and orange, well orange and red, green and blue, orange

and red, all that stuff. So Mr. Roy G. Biv. The old rainbow is a problem for him. So Mr. Roy G. Biv, would you say? Yes, indeedy. All right, we have to take a break. We'll So Mr. Roy T. Biv, would you say? Yes, indeedy. All right, we have to take a break. We'll be right back. OK.

Hey, guys, after this, we're done. All right. That's what she said. Oh, Lauren. Lauren, who? Who said it? She did. She said that.

You? No, someone else. you guys don't even know We don't even know oh Hey, that's actually no way that was that's what she said that was everything. Oh, that was so unpredictable This is this was thinking about you can bring unpredictable fun to your fingertips with that's what she said second edition from moose games Oh, your favorite game is back with all new outrageous situations that will keep everyone laughing, just like Paula's right now. Let me tell you about how you play this because I'm so glad you brought it up. Match wacky red setup cards with funny blue phrase cards to see who has the dirtiest sense of humor.

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Yeah, or here, let's be real. Might we actually suggest gifting? Yeah, you know what? We played this the other night and we'll definitely be bringing it out again. That's what she said. That's what she said. It was so fun. And we're gonna find what, that's what she said. That's what she said It was so fun and we're gonna find what that's what she said

Yeah, where you can find it which is at the target comm or the Amazon.com That's what she said Amazon.com. That's what I come set. That's what she said second edition. You guys don't even know This message is brought to you by the cola guard test Cola guard is a one-of-a-kind way to feel more in control of your colon cancer screening through a use-at-home test with none of the prep that's required of a colonoscopy. The Coligard Test is the only FDA-approved non-invasive screening test that looks for both altered DNA and blood in your stool. The American Cancer Society recommends if you are at average risk, you begin screening

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or a personal or family history of colorectal cancer. False positive and negative results may occur. Any positive results should be followed by a colonoscopy, not a replacement for colonoscopy in high risk patients. The Coligard test is available by prescription only. And we're back. And Paul, I need you to explain what a three-cher is because I cannot retain any information.

It's very simple really. A three-cher is a game that we like to play, also known as a buster. And we ask people to send them in to us. Yeah. And if they want to do this. Sometimes we beg them. Sometimes you do. This is going to be an ask.

And then maybe next episode will be a big chair. But we are standing up straight. Just out. Chins high saying if you'd like to send us a feature, send us a game that we can play to freedom USA at gmail.com. This is an email address. How do we explain email? Okay. Um, yeah. Al Gore. How do we explain Al Gore? How do we explain Al Gore? Um, how do you talk to an angel? How do you explain Al Gore? Um, anyway, we're about to play a Buster and, um and this one was submitted by Tim Ward. Tim Ward, more like the Psych Ward, because this is crazy.

What? Is it crazy? It's legitimately insane. What is this game indeed? This is called Word Alley Oop and what we're going to do is we're each of us are going to text a person on our left one word. Okay. Then we're going to improvise a scene. We each have to use the word that we were texted.

And then afterwards, we try to guess the person who did not text the word to the other person has to guess what word that person used in the scene. And we're going to have fun. Okay. I'm sending Scott. Do you promise? Yeah, I promise we're going to have fun. All, I'm sending Scott the word. Do you promise? Yeah, I promise we're gonna have fun. All right, so I'm going to, I'm texting Paul his word.

I'm texting Lauren her word. Okay. We each have our word. Received. We each have our word. We each have our word. So that means at the end of the scene, I'm going to guess Lauren's word. I'm going to guess Paul's word. And I'm going to guess Scott's word. That's right.

Now I'm also, because I always forget, I'm going to write down choices while we're talking. That's a great point. Because we always... I often have so much fun during the scene that we can't even remember what words we said, so I'm gonna write down, and I'm guessing Lauren's word. Okay, got it. What does that mean?

As you hear words, you're gonna say, could be that, could be that? Yeah, I'm just gonna make notes for myself, because a lot of times when we play this, we'll get through the whole scene, and I'll have forgotten everything we talked about. Absolutely. You know what? I we talked about. Absolutely. Yeah. You know what?

I'm gonna raw dog it. Oh, hell yeah, bro. Now who's working with me? You're listening for my voice. For yours, okay. Okay, so, begin. Hi. Hey.

Entree vu? Don't mind if I do. There we go, hey. My rhymes. Can I get you an aperitif perhaps, or some crudités? Entrez-vous? Don't mind if I do. There we go. Hey, can I get you an aperitif perhaps or some crudités? Give me a second to think. I am a little discombobulated here. What's wrong?

I had cranial surgery. Okay, obviously. I see a huge scar across your scalp. Yeah, they went in there, they messed around with my medulla oblongata. Then they said, this looks bad. Then they said this looks bad? Yes.

Oh man. They'd never seen a brain before. You went to the wrong place. Hi honey, sorry I'm late for dinner. Oh, that's okay. Wait, you're my wife, right? Oh my god. I can't see so good because I also tampered with my occipital nerve.

We knew that he wouldn't remember. Wait, do I know you too? We've been talking for the last five minutes. Who did you think I was if you didn't think you knew me? I just thought you were a guy who worked at the restaurant. This isn't a restaurant, this is my house. What? It's nice, admittedly.

And you're wearing an apron on your lower half. Yeah. I'm so sorry, I am frazzled. The apron's covering my femur right now. Femur is- Jarnson, Jarnson, look at me. Jarnson, Jarnson. Jarnson's your name. Jarnson, you don't even remember your name? Jarnson, Jarnson, look at me. Jarnson. Where's the Jarnson? Jarnson. Jarnson's your name.

Jarnson, you don't even remember your name? Jarnson, Jarnson. I'm Jarnson. Look at me. I just had a long day at work, okay? I was providing home loans and mortgages to many, many, many families. How many?

In fiduciary need. How many? Today, eight. It was eight families. It took me eight families. Many hours. This is what she does for work, Jartzen. And she loves it. Okay, so she's my wife. Yeah.

Who are you? He's our dear friend. Dear, dear friend. So we are comrades. We're compatriots, certainly. We're brothers inots, certainly. We're brothers in arms. Certainly. One might consider us to be. You and I betrothed.

Absolutely. In a matrimonial way. Yes. Indubitably, but... Ha ha ha! And yet, you're the one who doesn't remember our relationship. Interesting. Why do you say and yet? It's interesting, isn't it, that we're so close and yet you have forgotten all of the

details. Peppercorns. Do you have peppercorns for the food? Do you have peppercorns for the food? Did you forget that they opened up my skull? I... Oh no, I left the peppercorn in his skull. It was you!

Ah, that's where it went. I explained the whole operation to you and you were the one who did it. I told him he shouldn't have done it. No, no, no, he's not a good operator. Yeah, I'm so sorry. He's not a doctor, surgeon, or medical trained professional. This is nut-rageous.

It's Snickers. It's positively Snickers. This is positively Kit-Kat. It positively Snickers. It's positively KitKat. Look, I apologize. I regret and rue the day that I ever did that. However, what's done is done. Benign neglect is what this man created. You must feel triumphant.

I'm ecstatic at the situation that occurred, certainly. Wise. Wise owls once said three wise owls said what did they say at the same time or do they do like one word like three wise owls said to our ears, did it at the same time or did they do like one word like on whose line? Three wise owls said... To our ears did it sound like hoo hoo or did they actually speak in English?

Well it's both. So in owl language. Three wise owls once said, Sphincter says what? Well thank you for coming to the restaurant. I mean my house. You are a flagrant misdirection. This is a restaurant. I'm a restaurateur.

Did everybody say their word? Yes. Scene. Okay. Paul. Yeah. I have two guesses. Okay. Occipital.

Next guess. Comrades. Neither. What? I have a guess for you. Okay. Fiduciary. Yeah.

I actually thought you gave me the word. So I was like smiling at you when I said it. I almost guessed Finkter for you. And then I remembered, no, I gave her the word. What's my word? Fuck. All my guesses went away. I had the word. What's my word? Fuck. All my guesses went away. I had some guesses.

Thinking about Rod Doggiet. I was thinking about Rod Doggiet, man. But it didn't. Nut. Nut? I actually don't remember. Mine was crudite. I said it within the first.

Did you really? I said, can I get you an aperitif for a crudité? Wow. I feel like maybe there should be a rule that it's not in the first second. Why? Because we're not ready. We need to establish the scene. Yeah, but... All right, fine.

Would you like to know what my word was? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Discombobulated. You said it immediately. I almost wrote that down. But then I didn't. I should have written down everything I thought. Fine, no worries. Let's go the opposite way.

One more time, texting Paul a word. I'm texting Paul a word. I'm texting Lauren a word. Oh wait, no, yes, okay. Yes, I'm texting Lauren a word. And I'm texting you a word? Yes. Okay, and who texts me?

Lauren is texting you currently. Lauren texts me. Yes. Okay. Lauren is here. Lauren is the one, how do you describe Lauren? Oh! How do you describe Al Gore?

How do you describe? Okay, I'm ready. Okay. I'm ready. I'm ready. Welcome, welcome everyone. If you can just step right through and put your, put your luggage up in the compartment. Out of my way, out of my way. Sorry, that's my wife.

I'm putting my bag up here. She's not a great traveler. You're together? I'm so grumpy. All we've had for breakfast is yogurt. What is this thing? Europe doesn't have breakfast? We're just seating right now. I'm not going to give for breakfast is yogurt. What is this thing? What are we, Europe doesn't have breakfast? We're just seating right now. I'm not gonna give you breakfast right now. We have to honey. We have to get in our seats. We have to be compliant.

You're an asshole. I know, I've heard that for 40 years now. You're a shithead, you're a butt head. You're a twisted son of a bitch. These insults are becoming egregious. You're an asswipe here, motherfucker. Guys, can I please ask you to take your seats here? Yeah.

I I'm afraid this is going to be a bumpy flight. What? You know it's going to be bumpy with this kind of guy next to me, this lug nut, this big doof doof. I'm going to kick your ass in this plane. You are a shrew, a harridan, a barnacle on my side. We've been together for 45 years. OK, I don't care. If you could just please have a seat.

We need to get up in the air. We need to take off. Will the takeoff feel electrifying? It'll feel turbulent, perhaps. Will it feel outrageous in my nutsack? Will it feel outrageous in my nut sack? Will it feel nut-rageous in my out sack? Will it be out back steakhouse in my nut back steakhouse? I don't know.

Can you guys just sit down? Why don't you know? You never flown a plane before? What is this some kind of first time traveler? Is there going to be of first time traveler? Is there going- First time flight attendant? Will I be able to order a Bloody Mary

and make it as sanguine as possible? I can imagine that you may become inebriated if you drink too many of them, but sure. Did you hear that? Yeah, I heard it. What are you gonna do? I'm gonna watch you get drunk off your ass. I'm gonna slap ya. God, I love you. That are you gonna do? I'm gonna watch you get drunk off your ass. I'm gonna slap you. God. I love you

That's why it works. So well anyone here joining the mile high club tonight. We've already joined you're oh you remember We fucked on the jet bridge Be up in the air is that a mile high above the land No, if I fell I'd break my neck, but her sense of geography is somewhat skewed. I'm afraid that you're going to have to wait till we take off to have sex in the lavatory. Till we're airborne? Till we're airborne, I'm so sorry. Once the fasten your seatbelt sign goes ding, then you can-

When it's illuminated? When it's no longer illuminated, you can go into- Yes. you can go into, yes, you can go inside the lavatory and have a coitus, hopefully non-interruptus, but I'm gonna ask you to take your seats right now. You're probably gonna wanna knock on the door and say, excuse me, do you need toilet paper, any sort of hand soaps? And we'll say, we're a little busy in here.

And you'll say, I still could open up the door and see your hand towel. Hey, do you have any prophylactics? I always have jimmies for you. Yeah. Oh, no, I meant sprinkles for your ice cream sundae. I'm so sorry. Those won't prevent any diseases.

You're going to have to raw dog this flight, unfortunately. So no iPad, no condoms. His penis is bristly on the outside. It's barbed like a cat. I'm amazed I've seen it within this long. Hurt so bad. Hurt so good as John Millencamp once sang. So judiciously.

Suckin' on chili dogs. Outside the Tasty Freeze. Chili's got his big toe. Oh no, the plane took off. No! No, we're not sitting down. Pilot, we're not sitting down. Hey pilot, we're not sitting down. Hey pilot.

Scene. Oh no, yes. Scene. I have one guess. What's that? Inebriated. For me? Mm-hmm. You're guessing for me?

I think so. No. No. Do you want me to say what it was? Yes. Turbulent. Oh, well you really set us up there. Didn't you?

He's got a way with starting the scene out so he can get his thing. You really don't say it till halfway through. That's good. My guess for you is egregious. Barnacle. Yeah. That was my second guess. Okay.

Barnacle. And your guess for me? My guess for you is probably Nut sack. It was butt head. I really just... That was close. Yeah. Tossing her a softball with that one.

Yeah, it's nice. It's nice every once in a while. Yeah. I knew I could say it. Yeah. Well guys, that was fun. That's the feature that we played. I enjoy that. I liked playing it and it was fun. And Tim Ward for sending it. Yes.

Hey, we have big news before we go. So we have another piece of Freedom merch for the holidays. Okay, Lauren, on a previous episode, previously on Freedom, you talked about a Christmas card that you got. Can you tell the story briefly? When I was a kid, there was a woman who lived near us who was, of course.

You don't wanna score this with a bunny song? Ultimately. What is the bunny song? See the bunny sleeping. That's on a future episode of Three Meme. Fun. Oh no, did we do it earlier in this? I don't know.

I can't remember. Anyway, go ahead. Anyway, my neighbor who of course, as an adult I understand was mentally ill, sent a Christmas card to everyone in our neighborhood that just had a wreath on the front and inside it said, go to hell. So now we've created our very own go to hell

Christmas cards for everyone out there. My family doesn't even know about this. I get excited for them to. Are you gonna send them one? Yeah, send them one. You have to send them one. Don't let them listen to this show until they get it. Great.

Send one to your parents, send one to your brother. Yeah. Perfect. So this has three little reindeer on the front of the card. They look exactly like us. And inside you open it up and it just says, go to hell. Yep.

And you can personalize it however you like. Or send it raw dog. That's right. You can send it to someone you love or send it to someone you hate. These are sold as a single card or Wait, is there a message on the back? Just as three of them I believe on the back.

It doesn't, didn't we, we toyed with the idea of it saying the sender We toyed like a cat with it. The sender believes the card. The message or something like that. I don't believe we did that. We didn't do that. Yeah.

But fun idea. Too busy but we liked the idea when we had it. So how do you get them? You go to kinshipgoods.com slash CBBW. And then you can get also, you can get t-shirts there, piss big t-shirts and all, and the like. But these are for the holidays. These are limited edition.

I don't believe we're gonna sell these. Limited edition. They're gonna be, they're available today, starting today. So get them before they- You're saying you don't think we're gonna sell these ever again. gonna be they're available today starting today so get them before they sell these ever again. Maybe next Christmas. Maybe next, who knows. We'll see how these do. Yeah. Next Christmas. These are just fun for us to make. We don't really make any money on these but this is fun for you that it is for us for sure. Have fun with these. Have fun. Sending a Christmas card. Last Christmas sent you a card. It said go to hell inside and it went very far. What else do we need to know? Send us voicemails at HagClaims8.com.

And then we answer them on our three-mium episodes, which are every other Wednesday. Yes. And then also on Tuesdays, we re-release old episodes from behind the paywall. We call that three visiting on the twos. Now, of course, if you want to hear all of our episodes, you can get a subscription at CBBworld.com. This means that on certain weeks, you get three episodes of freedom. Yeah, crazy. What a joy. Wow.

How incredible to be alive in this era. What did you do to earn that? Nothing. What did I do? What did I era. What did you do to earn that? Nothing. Nothing. What did I do? What did I do to deserve this? What did I do? What did I do?

What did I do to deserve this? What did I do? What did I do? What did I do to deserve this? That's gonna be it for it. Was there anything that I omitted? That is all. I wanna tell people if they don't already have a ticket

in South Carolina, Charleston. Charleston Music Hall, Saturday, November 23rd. It's a big space and we're trying to fill it. So get a ticket. It's going to be a completely different show than the last show we did there. All new guests, all new material. It's going to be a lot of fun. This is our last show of the tour and our last show of the year.

It's going to be good. Come on out. And speaking of last shows of the tour, the last Comedy Bang Bang show of the year, it's gonna be good, come on out. And speaking of last shows of the tour, the last Comedy Bang Bang Show of the tour is here in Los Angeles, December 13th, Friday, December 13th. Hey, Randy is opening, and then we're gonna do a massive Comedy Bang Bang Show

with a lot of guests. Paul and I will be there, I hope other people will be there. I'll be there, man. Yeah, I hope we get other guests. I don't know what I'm doing that night. Oh, well, you should come. I don't know what I'm doing tonight. Oh, well, you should come. You're going to wash your hair.

I don't know what I'm doing tonight. Come watch it. I'm probably going to wash my hair. You can get tickets at CBBworld.com slash tour for that. Ask in the next episode. OK. Yeah. Little cliffhanger. Little cliffhanger. Oh, cool. Hi, I'm Little Cliffhanger.

You're a hip hop artist. I'm like free solo, but nobody cares about me. Lil Cliffhanger where every song ends in the middle of it. Yeah. And the best part is. I felt like into the spider verse. We'll see you next time. Bye.

Bye. Hi everyone. Gloria Riviera here and we are back for another season of No One Is Coming to Save Us, a podcast about America's child care crisis. This season, we're delving deep into five critical issues facing our country through the lens of child care, poverty, mental health, housing, climate change, and the public school system. By exploring these connections, we aim to highlight that childcare is not an isolated issue, but one that influences all facets of American life. Season four of No One is Coming to Save Us is out now wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, I'm June Diane Raphael. And I'm Jessica St. Clair. And we would like to invite you on a hilarious and heartfelt journey each week on The Deep Dive. From navigating the chaos of motherhood and family to exploring the depths of grief and loss, we are just two best friends who process life together and with you guys. Discover our secrets to finding joy amidst the madness and get ready for unfiltered conversations about life, love and everything in between. And nails, we talk a lot about nails. Now, community is everything to us at the Deep Dive.

We believe in the power of connection and the strength that comes from supporting one another and we would love to have you with us. So be sure to join us every Wednesday on the Deep Dive from Lemonada Media, wherever you get your podcasts.