Threedom - Skibidi Toilet, Of Course

Episode Date: October 17, 2024

Paul, Scott, and Lauren discuss recent concerts, a potential guest, and The Macarena before playing Romantic, Uplifting, Scary. Send Threetures and emails to threedomusa@gmail.com.Leave us a voicemail... asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Listen ad-free and unlock bi-weekly THREEMIUMS on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:35 Do you like to break the rules? Are you curious about gift giving etiquette? If so, you should check out a very funny podcast called I Said No Gifts on the Exactly Right Network. It's one of my favorites. Every Thursday, host Bridger Weininger invites his favorite people in comedy into his backyard to chat. He just has one rule. No gifts. Unfortunately, everyone has ignored this simple request.
Starting point is 00:00:56 They all bring gifts and force Bridger to talk about it. Past visitors include Bowen Yang, Darcy Carden, and Weird Al Yankovic. Each episode includes a fun game and Bridger offers perfect gift-giving advice to clueless listeners. Don't miss new episodes every Thursday. Follow I Said No Gifts wherever you get your podcasts. Freedom! Freedom!
Starting point is 00:01:15 Freedom! I did it scary though. I did it scary though. I did it scary though. I did it scary though. I did it scary though. I did it scary though. I did it scary though.
Starting point is 00:01:23 I did it scary though. I did it scary though. I did it scary though. I did it scary though. I did it scary though. I did it scary though. Freedom! Freedom! I did it scary like a demon. Really? Yeah. I was going like, freedom. Here's my demon voice.
Starting point is 00:01:36 Hi, bitch. Hey. That's a sassy demon. Hi, bitch. Hi, bitch. What's up, bitch? I wish I could take a microphone and go lay on the couch. What if Freddie talked like that?
Starting point is 00:01:47 He wouldn't be as, what if Freddie talked like that? That would be really scary. Welcome to hell, bitch. That would still be scary. It would be scary. I mean, neither. It would be scary in a different way.
Starting point is 00:01:56 So Michael Myers and Jason, no talking, right? They don't say nothing. They don't say nothing. Freddie got in and he was like, I'm gonna be funny. I have to be heard. Here's the old Freddy. He's got a scary face. Scary face.
Starting point is 00:02:11 He has scary knives for fingers. Scary. Weird sweater. Weird sweater. And then he also talks in a, hey, hey, hey, you're a bitch, bitch. It's like, guys, you're gilding the lily. Any one of those would be great.
Starting point is 00:02:26 I love the idea that Freddie started saying bitch more and more, and then after a while, he's like, I probably went too far with it. I should dial it back a little bit. I said, let me take two. What do you think, Lauren? I'm taking a step back to learn to grow. I've only really seen one of those maybe once.
Starting point is 00:02:41 We should watch all of them. No. Oh, God. On Halloween night. Okay. With Holly. I'll ignore my children and watch all of them on Halloween night okay with Holly I'll ignore my children and watch all the Friday the 13th movies with you I watched the first night on Elm Street for the first time a couple years ago what's right there Jason hockey mask yeah Crystal Lake that's scary too that's a pretty scary I was just someone wanting to murder you is like These are the Jason hockey mask. Yeah. Crystal Lake. That's scary too. Crystal light. I find all that stuff pretty scary.
Starting point is 00:03:06 Well, just someone wanting to murder you is like generally frightening. It's scary. Yeah, agreed. And the ways that they're like sort of soulless freaks is also scary. Yeah, soulless freak. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:17 Just lumbering around, not saying shit. Well, the idea of wanting to murder anyone is like little nuts in the head. It's a little much. I think it's, I think it's I think it's definitely your left of center. Little bubble off plum, as they say. One bubble off plum. Yeah. What does that mean?
Starting point is 00:03:36 It's like a reference to a level. So have your little bubble. And then plum is when it's perfect. When it's flush, people call that plum. Like they when it's perfectly balanced. When it's flush. People call that plum. It's a bubble off plum. Like you're like, it's plum. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:50 Hey, this shit right here? Plum. It comes from swingers. So it's some of their slang. Oh, they made it up. It's plum. You're plum, baby. They made it up?
Starting point is 00:03:59 Sure. One bubble off plum. One bubble off plum. I'll be Googling this. One bubble off plum. Yeah. One bubble off plum. I'll be Googling this. Plum. Deers. You don't trust us? I'm just curious.
Starting point is 00:04:12 When you say plum, by the way, it's with a B, a silent B at the end. That's right. Yeah. Well, that's also interesting, my friend. This is all good information for my Google. You're so high right now. You know, I feel like I just got tired in a way
Starting point is 00:04:24 where my eyes are just closing in voluntarily. Yeah. What if you fell asleep during this show? That would be cool. That'd be really cool. My friend went Instagram live, snoring, totally asleep, had no idea how it happened. What?
Starting point is 00:04:37 She was on her phone, fell asleep, and then suddenly she was live. I mean, that's some Shannon Sharp shit right there. Yeah, they brought it back up. Shannon Sharp fell asleep? He did what you do before you fall asleep. He was boinking on the Instagram live And he said he never knew what Instagram live was. Yeah, his excuse was I've never done Instagram live I don't know what Instagram live is so I turned on Instagram live and didn't know it was still going
Starting point is 00:05:02 So he was live and then you kept getting like text and stuff that he would ignore. And finally his like agent called or something and he picked up. Hey, you're fucking someone. Shannon Sharp. Come on, man. I set up by the way. We could all get him. But how was it? Was it visible or was it like, no, I think it was just the ceiling or whatever. It was the ceiling and you heard like the woman.
Starting point is 00:05:31 Sex, sex, sex, may I have sex please? Sex, we're having sex. What if you had to say the word sex while you're having sex? Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex. Weirdly, I think we've discussed this. Oh, by the way, is this, is our spreadsheet? It feels like deja vu. Yeah, how's the spreadsheet coming along, Discord? I'd love to know. I think that people started it, did they not? Oh, they started it.
Starting point is 00:05:54 They did? I think so. As far as I know, they started it. As far as I know. As far as I know. Everyone talk to Big Game about the thing we said they should do. I'd love to see that.
Starting point is 00:06:03 I'd love to know more about that. Love to see it. I'd love to see how I'd love to know more about that love to see it I love to see how many tally marks I get in the topics I talk about Let's go buddy. Okay. Have you heard of and I don't know anything else about this So I say the scat man. Yes, of course ever Skibbity toilet. Yeah, what is that? I think this has come up before skibbity toilet? Yeah, I've heard of that. What is that? I think this has come up before. Skibbity toilet? Yeah. I don't know what it is.
Starting point is 00:06:26 You don't think it's Skibbity? You don't think it's Skibbity? You don't think it's Skibbity toilet? I, it wouldn't surprise me if I forgot it. This was a thing that I was unfortunately forced to look up, I want to say a year ago. And I do know that there's a movie that Michael Bay is making.
Starting point is 00:06:40 Called Skibbity toilet? He's making a movie of Skibbity toilet. What? Okay. I? Okay. I'm interested. When I asked Mike if it was a Babadook situation, he said no. No, it is not.
Starting point is 00:06:50 He knows what it is? Yes. He said I shouldn't Google it. Yeah, it's not really a Slender Man either. It's not a supernatural thing in any way. It's just this- It's a character? What I remember is it's some sort of character,
Starting point is 00:07:05 like a computer generated character that I think first was skibbity and then it was skibbity toilet. What? It was like, what if skibbity was in the toilet and then it was skibbity toilet? What is this? Are you looking it up or no? No. Okay. Why would I do? I want, what are they? Because you said you were going to, I never said I was going to do shit. You absolute Scott. I never, I've never even said those words.
Starting point is 00:07:32 He did say it. My son Downing. Skibbity skibbity skibbity skibbity skibbity skibbity toilet. Simple. It's simple. It creates skivvy toilet. Skivvy toilet. Everybody's got a toilet or if you don't have one, we want to get you one. Okay, here we go. Every person deserves their own toilet. Every good skivvy toilet. Skivvy toilet is a machinima, machinima, machinima? Web series released on YouTube videos and shorts created by Alexey Goresimov
Starting point is 00:08:13 and uploaded on his YouTube channel, DaFouq, boom. Produced using Source Filmmaker, the series follows a fictional war between human headed toilets and humanoid characters with electronic devices for heads. So it's a story. Okay. Okay.
Starting point is 00:08:30 That's great. I'm happy for everyone involved. I love that. When something takes off like that, I love it. Here's a little screen cap there. There you go. I hate that! Why do you hate it?
Starting point is 00:08:38 It's just skibbity toilet. I hate how it looks. It's just a head popping out of the toilet. It's just a human-headed toilet. It was really creepy. I thought I was picturing something very different. I didn't like that. By the way, if your main strength is you,
Starting point is 00:08:50 your head pops out of the toilet, but that increases the odds of you being shit on. Can I? Yes. Can I please read? You have a fecal fetish. Fecal fetish. Yes.
Starting point is 00:09:01 Fecal fetish, fecal fetish. Fecal fetish, fecal fetish, fecal fetish. Let me just read the beginning of the plot summary. OK, and never show me that man again. The series depicts a conflict between singing human headed toilets, the titular skibbity toilets and humanoids with CCTV cameras, speakers and televisions in place of their heads. The skibbity toilets led by G-Toilet overtake humanity.
Starting point is 00:09:26 Warfare soon develops between the toilets and the alliance of cameramen and speaker men. Each kind of the alliance has a colossal version of themselves named, termed Titans. Jesus Christ. This is cool. No, it's very cool. Here's the thing, I know it's not for me,
Starting point is 00:09:41 but I do know it's cool. I know it's really cool. It's very cool. I'm happy for everyone involved. I'll say very cool. I'm happy for everyone involved. I'll say it again. I'm happy for everyone involved. I love that people are having fun. This is the best part about it.
Starting point is 00:09:51 Exactly. You know what I mean? Like life can be so dreary, but for people to be out there having fun again, I love this. I had fun the other night. What happened? I went to see Ben Folds perform.
Starting point is 00:10:02 I saw that you saw that. And my friend, Lindsey Craft, opened for him and is on tour with him. You sent our group chat a great video of Ben Folds sitting his piano, then standing up and walking away. Walking away. We didn't know exactly why you said that. I didn't mean to say that. And approximately 15 hours went by and no one commented on it.
Starting point is 00:10:21 And everyone just kind of went, all right. And then Paul, you said one thing, which was he quit? He quit? And then Lauren, you rewatched the video you sent and realized you'd sent the wrong one. It really does look like, while Ben Folds just fucking walked down this concert. Yeah, like I started filming right before he was gonna,
Starting point is 00:10:38 it was called the Paper Airplane Tour, and people would shoot Paper Airplanes toward the stage with a song title written on it it and he'd pick it up. So he stood up abruptly to go get another song. I don't like that idea. But it looked like he was just leaving. Well, paper airplanes are too sharp and pointy. I don't like encouraging the audience to throw things
Starting point is 00:10:53 or yell things out. He wasn't on stage. There was a person who came out to sort of man the, it was during intermission and it was like, now you throw the paper airplanes. Oh see, I don't like this as much because- And everyone was helping move them forward and like it was kind of an activity. I don't like this as much because then like, he sorts through the paper airplanes and everyone was helping move them forward. And like, it was kind of an activity.
Starting point is 00:11:05 I don't like this as much because then like he, he sorts through the paper airplanes and no, they were all on stage and he walked out and picked one up and he would go right to it unless it was like one time he had said whap by Cardi B or so he says. Okay. Yeah. I didn't know if that was, he did jokes with them. Or if some of them are legit, I'm sure people wrote, what if he picks up a paper airplane and it said, you will die at 12 or 1 a.m. That one you got to throw away.
Starting point is 00:11:28 But what you throw it away. You think he's going to ask who wrote that? He has to. Well, I had a great time at the concert. Did you go by yourself, dear? No, I went with Mary Holland, dear. Mary was wonderful. We got sushi. Never mother. Never be on freedom.
Starting point is 00:11:43 We went to Sugarfish and we went to With the Wiltern. That's very nice. And we saw the show and it was so delightful. And of course I kind of forgot, I haven't been to a concert in a million years and of course they always start so late. We got there, it started at 7.15 it said, and then we got there at 7, oh it started at 7, we got there at 7.15 and I was like, we're doing great. It's gonna not have started yet.
Starting point is 00:12:02 Of course it didn't start until after 8. But I mean that's what it is. Well, you can look up this stuff beforehand. Was there an opener? I'll tell you what I didn't do. I didn't look at anything. I said, Lindsay, where's my ticket? She told me where to go and I just showed up
Starting point is 00:12:16 and we had great seats. Wow, who the fuck is Lindsay? And I loved it. My friend Lindsay was opening for him. I mean, great. And she was wonderful. Forgot about that. I was just about to ask who's opening.
Starting point is 00:12:25 Yeah. Yeah. I saw your pictures and everything. Sugarfish. Yes. It was really fun. I felt like a younger version of myself. Oh.
Starting point is 00:12:34 I had a blast. And you know, I used his song in my character special, Brick. Yes. And he, at the time texted me that he thought it was funny and all this stuff. And then I got to meet him last night and he at the time texted me that he thought it was funny and all this stuff. And then I got to meet him last night and he was wonderful. So you didn't have to yell up the stage,
Starting point is 00:12:50 I don't want to use brick on the special. That was so offensive of me. That's what I said. They escorted me out. Backstage. And it was very nice to get to meet him. It was great. Very nice.
Starting point is 00:13:02 Full circle moment. I love that for you. Yeah. We went to see, recently we saw, okay, I'll tell you, let me set the scene, Tall John, myself, Haley Joel Osment and John Daly. Wow, what a motley crew. The four bros.
Starting point is 00:13:15 The fantastic show. The four bros were now on a text chain together because of it. But we all went to go see Love and Rockets and Jane's Addiction. And this was like the first or second Jane's Addiction show of the tour, they got back together. All four original members.
Starting point is 00:13:29 Well, I heard what happened now. Yes, so by show 18, they're broken up again. Yeah. It's just very funny. Yeah. What was the dynamic when you saw them? They were great, although Perry was, you know, he always just talks too much
Starting point is 00:13:40 and thinks he's really interesting, but it wasn't a bummer at this point. Really, the guy who named himself Peripheral thinks he's really interesting, but it wasn't a bummer at this point. Really the guy who named himself Peripheral thinks he's really interesting? His name is Peripheral? Peripheral, yeah. What? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:54 That's what it's supposed to mean? When I found that out, I was so mad. That's not his name? No. No. Peripheral? Peripheral? Peripheral?
Starting point is 00:14:04 His real name is Ted Bing Bong. He's like that imaginary thing from Inside Out? I've not seen it. Isn't it called Bing Bong or something? I think it's Bing Bong. I've not seen it. Richard Kind, I believe, plays Bing Bong, I believe. Richard Kind's so fucking funny.
Starting point is 00:14:18 I saw a nice little clip from an interview he did where he said he'll do any drugs. Yeah, he's just like, what am I gonna retire or play golf more? He's like, I say yes to 95% of offers. I love it. And he's always great. What's that? Somebody told me, he said, was it, was it Connor Ratliff or Patrick Cotter said, cause he did the George Lucas talk show or something. And he said to, to one of them, you know how to get me to ask, you know how to get me to do your show?
Starting point is 00:14:44 You know how you get, you know how you get me to do your show? You know how you get me to do your show? Ask me. Great. Yeah. I met him once, he was so nice to me. Was he the titular kind? He was the titular kind. Wow.
Starting point is 00:14:56 He did the Thrilling Adventure Hour once and he was like so, he was so sweet to me and said he was a fan and all this and I'm like, what has he ever seen me on? But he was so nice and that really was delightful to me. Do the, uh, the Clifford, uh, talk back. He was like one of the only cast and he's barely, I think he's barely in it. I forgot he was in it.
Starting point is 00:15:15 Yeah. He's just in the beginning or something like, Oh no, he's, I think he's Clifford's dad, right? Who like pawns him off on Charles's grunt. So he's barely in it, but it was him and Martin Short were the two people from the movie. And Martin Short just made fun of him the entire time. It was it was really funny to see it because you know how Martin Short can have the mean side. Oh, yeah. Yeah, which is very funny. Yeah. He's got the goofy side and the mean side, and he's just like laying
Starting point is 00:15:40 into Richard kind every single thing he says. It's just making fun of him. I have to say that, because Richard Kind is also in Only Murders in the building this season. And- I feel like I should start watching that because I love everyone involved.
Starting point is 00:15:51 Oh yeah, that's great. You know what? Yeah, it's fun. It's really fun. And I have to say that the jokes about them being old are so fucking funny. There was one last thing, where I'm short.
Starting point is 00:16:04 He's got his iPad, He's got this huge tablet and he shows it to, what's her name? Selena Gomez. Selena Gomez. And she like recoils and she says, I've never seen Instagram that big before. There's so much of that shit like sprinkled all throughout. It's really funny. But yeah, Richard Kines, one of the best. He should be on Freedom. I would accept that.
Starting point is 00:16:30 Are we saying? Well, cause he might do it. He would actually do it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I rescind it. Okay. That was close. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:36 Whew. My God. Man. Anyway, welcome to Freedom on Paul. Although it could be a really good episode. Oh, I'm Scott. I'm Lauren. We've been going 15 minutes at this point.
Starting point is 00:16:44 I think we should have him on. I think we should have him on. You think we should have him on? Wouldn't that be kind of great? Would he, he would fit into the freedom vibe, obviously. That's kind of what I feel. I feel that he'd be able to just share some stories. Do you think he would? I think he'd be able to share some stories,
Starting point is 00:16:58 sing some songs, play a buster. We wouldn't be interrupting as much if he were here. We would be way too- No, I think he'd be talking the most. I think we would be really polite. And we would just be listening to him. We would just defer to him, yeah. Which I'd be more-
Starting point is 00:17:12 But what if we had him on and then interrupted him as much as we do normally? Oh my God. I think that's actually the way to do it. Like actually push him to see how far we can push him? Yeah. Until he gets mad like I did. All right. I think it's- I think you have to be upfront and say, we interrupt each other a lot, so just be ready.
Starting point is 00:17:25 We're not going to finish a story. Why don't we do that for Christmas every year? Have Richard Kind on. See if we can get him to storm out. Oh, I would love a tradition like that, where much like, you know, what's J. Thomas telling the Lone Ranger story. J. Edgar. You know, just Richard Kind comes on,
Starting point is 00:17:43 tells a Christmas story for one episode. That's right. And we interrupt him the entire time. We lull him into a false sense of security by listening to him, take a break, and then it's like full on freedom. Yes. He can't get two words out without us mocking him. I wouldn't like that.
Starting point is 00:17:57 Yeah. I think that's good. Richard, come on this Christmas. Don't listen to this episode. Don't listen to us. This Christmas we will get Richard kind and the very next day we'll throw him away. Christmas is coming, the geese are getting fat.
Starting point is 00:18:15 What about Halloween? That's true. Well, this, I can't access my calendar. This isn't coming out after Halloween, there's no way. This particular episode? We're not that far ahead. Do you use a Google cow? It might be a...
Starting point is 00:18:27 You use a Google cow? Yeah, but... Google cow. I gotta do this on my computer sometimes? He uses Google cow. I do desktop Google cow all the time, I love it. I love it, I have it open all the time. I have it open all the time.
Starting point is 00:18:39 I can tell you exactly when this... Permanent open tab. Permanent open tab. I'll tell you exactly when this... Oh my God, this is, this is fucking exciting. This fucking sucks. I can't figure any of this out. Anyway, I'll tell you when this episode comes out.
Starting point is 00:18:53 Yeah, I know. But I can't, I hate the desktop. What could be the problem? I don't have all my... Your widgets. You don't have your widgets, dear? I don't have all my calendars available on this. I need the podcast release calendar.
Starting point is 00:19:14 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Gotta add it. I don't know how to add it. Gotta add it. Gotta subscribe. I hate the desktop. I want this on my phone. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:19:22 Where's your guide? I hate the desktop. I want this. Anyway. So I believe this comes out sometime in October. So yes, Halloween is coming up. We talked about costumes last time, I believe, didn't we? Two times ago, a few times ago. A few times ago, we talked about what the possible, I still haven't gotten the official word
Starting point is 00:19:38 on what my costume is going to be. There was a moment where we're all gonna be queens. I don't know if that's gonna happen. I'm a queen, you're a queen, daddy's queen. Queen kind of implies that there's only one. Not in this world. Well, it could be queens from various countries. That's a good point.
Starting point is 00:19:55 Do you think that all the queens are on a text thread together? I hope so. All the queens of the world. Do you think the members of Queen are on a text thread together? I hope they talk every day. And Freddie's number is still in there
Starting point is 00:20:04 and they're like, we don't want to delete it. It keeps going green bubble. And then suddenly there's a dot dot dot. You're like, oh my god, he's back. Ha ha ha ha. You seem like you're enduring this, Lauren. My neck really hurts. Your neck, your back, your pussy, your crack.
Starting point is 00:20:22 Please, speak about this. We'll start with your neck. What happened? I think I slept poorly. Now as for my back, your pussy, your crack. Please speak about this. Let's start with your neck. I think I slept poorly. Now as for my back, I slept poorly. And as for my pussy, I slept poorly. And as for my crack, I slept poorly. Now just, you know, just tight.
Starting point is 00:20:35 I'm just noticing as I'm turning. Oh, it feels so, it feels like a relief. You need a trusted male figure to give you a massage. I'll outsource that to Dr. Phil. No, like a George W. Bush situation. Oh, sure. Angela Merkel. Angela Merkel. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:20:51 He is my trusted male figure. I slept terribly last night. I kept waking up. It was really bad. And I was like obsessing over dumb shit. Oh, I hate that. Out of nowhere. No, when you wake up in the middle of the night. Instantly you're like, here's a thing that has no would wake up. Like out of nowhere. Where you wake up instantly, you're like,
Starting point is 00:21:06 here's a thing that has no impact on my life. I hate that. I had one of those like, now it's almost a year ago, but it was really annoying. I couldn't, I would just would like wake up and then be like, oh my God. And then you'd sort of be panicking about this thing that just doesn't matter and was done or whatever.
Starting point is 00:21:19 But it was just, yeah, it's crazy. It's the human brain. Why do we have them? With so many creases. And I wonder what human brain. Why do we have them? There's so many creases, and I wonder what they hide. What if we ironed them? The nooks and crannies, much like an English muffin. Well, Thomas's English muffin. Well, those are the ones with the nooks and crannies.
Starting point is 00:21:35 If we took our brains out, ironed them to where they were flat. Put them back in our heads. Yours is like that, I've seen, very smooth. How big? Has about two pathways. If it were not wrinkled, how much bigger would it be? It was hopeful that it would be wide. I bet yeah Yeah, that's so gross. I think it's beautiful. I don't even like thinking about the body is gorgeous
Starting point is 00:21:54 This isn't weird. It's weird. Everything is designed for you to protect your dumb brain. That's crazy Yeah, and then we need helmets suddenly like, evolution, let's make the head a helmet. That's great. You know what I mean? Absolutely. Same thing with like eye masks. It's like, let's make our eyelids a little darker so that we don't need eye masks.
Starting point is 00:22:16 It is funny how flimsy your eyelids are because if Janie wakes up in the middle and she starts reading Kindle, her brightness is set so high and I can tell she's reading it. Yeah. And I. Yeah, it wakes you up. Her brightness is set so high. Yeah. And I can tell she's reading it. Yeah. And I'm like, god damn, eyelids. Like how long is it gonna take for evolution
Starting point is 00:22:30 for our heads to be as hard as helmets, as batting helmets or motorcycle helmets? Probably 10 more years. And for 10 more years for our heads. I think we're almost there. Kids' heads are getting really hard. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:42 Well, hey, we need to take a break. Okay. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. Yeah. Well, hey, we need to take a break. Okay. Bye. Shopify, Shopify, me, Inexcess. Creating really great retail experiences is tough, especially with multiple stores, teams of staff, fulfillment centers, separate workflows. It's a lot. But with Shopify point of sale, you can do it all without complexity. Let's hear that cha-ching. Shopify's point of sale system is a unified command center for your retail business.
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Starting point is 00:24:34 Hi, it's a spooky season And you know what takes my breath away besides getting so scared by ghost schools and goblins Congestion allergies pesky colds, getting sick is chilling. I'd rather meet two ghosts, three ghouls, and five goblins than have a stuffed up nose. This is why we need to prioritize nasal hygiene. Nasal equals nose. It's just as important as the rest of our self-care routines. I've realized, here's something I've realized.
Starting point is 00:25:06 When my breathing is off, my whole day trick or treating or, you know, seeking revenge on houses who give me bad candy in the form of toilet paper and eggs, it gets thrown out of whack. That's why I've been loving my Navaj nasal care unit. Navaj makes breathing easy and it's truly become as essential to my routine as brushing my teeth after eating so much candy.
Starting point is 00:25:34 I love candy, I've got a sweet tooth. Navaj is simple to use and the relief I feel is instant and palpable. So if you want to breathe better and feel your best, I recommend Navage. Give your nasal care the attention it deserves with Navage. It uses smooth saline flow and gentle patented nasal suction to clear nasal passages. Plus it is drug-free and uses 99.9% pure saline salt pods, the kind I love, with no medicinal side effects. And I love how fast it works.
Starting point is 00:26:14 We all love our Navajas. I take my own tour with me. I don't tell anybody else, but I do. Especially with all the travel and time changes and new cities. Whenever I want to feel my best, Navaj is always playing a role in making sure I can actually breathe. Unlike the tape I put on my mouth at night. Because breathing, let me tell you, it's great.
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Starting point is 00:28:15 That's N-O-O-M dot com. And we're back. Let me tell you about a dumb thing that I bought. I'd love to hear about this. That I kind of love. Life insurance? Yeah. This sounds like an ad, but this is the actual show.
Starting point is 00:28:34 I got it. This was like, I think this was Instagram advertised to me. And it is, all it is, is it's a very simple USB thing. You plug into a USB slot and then it projects like a star field, right? So you've seen this shit. We have one in our bedroom, I believe. Yeah, you've seen this shit.
Starting point is 00:28:55 Like onto the ceiling? Yeah, but it's bendy so you can put it right in your fucking face if you want, but I don't wanna revise it. And I had it with me in my travel bag when we were in UK. And I would plug it into the, cause they have a USBs in the wall.
Starting point is 00:29:11 I'll plug it in there. And it served as like a sort of nightlight that did not, it's not bright enough to interfere with falling asleep. But if you wake up in the middle of the night, it's just enough light to get around. Just enough. And it's also pleasant. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:29 It's such a simple little thing. I like this idea. It's so dumb, but now I keep it in that bag, baby. I think it's great. Thank you. It's really nice. Thank you. So you traveled with it
Starting point is 00:29:41 and it doesn't take up that much space? No, no, no, no. I feel like my travel setup is very, there's a lot of stuff, but I feel like I use all the things that are in there, but it's kind of heavy. And you think, oh, it's heavy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:55 I was carting around some stuff that I ended up never needing, but I was glad to have it. I'm talking about pain pills. The only... Because that one tour when I broke my ankle and didn't have any pain pills. Absolutely. So I got some for my foot surgery recently. I was like, if anything happens, I am covered.
Starting point is 00:30:14 And you had it like it was like a big plastic tub of them. Yeah. Like the kind of the gigantic UTS cheese balls. It was a full on carry on. Yeah. Yeah. It had wheels. Yeah. Yeah. What else did I bring that I never ended up needing? The only thing I didn't use was my umbrella. That was the only thing. Oh yeah. Because all the moxie hotels have umbrellas you could borrow. So true. But I also never needed it. But it was not raining. No, it rained a few times. It rained a few times, but I never got caught in it. Lily got caught once. Yes. Dranched. Yeah. But yeah, I was glad that I used everything
Starting point is 00:30:47 that was in my suitcase. Our goal was to try to wear every single piece of clothes. At once. That we brought. Everyone had the same goal. No, Jess McKenna wore everything, including the obbish shirt that she bought at the show. I do think it's a good goal because it's annoying when you carry a sweater around the whole time that you never wear or something. Yeah, I actually under packed a little bit, which meant I had to do some laundry in the sink. I over packed by two days because I had two t-shirts, two underwears, two socks, two socks left over. Wow. I think I under packed by two days. Wow.
Starting point is 00:31:22 Yeah. Wild. Crazy stuff. Fucking wild. I'm going on a trip underpack by two days. Wow. Yeah, wild. Crazy stuff. I'm going on a trip in a couple of days. I'm worried I'm gonna be lugging around stuff that I don't need. But I mean, are you switching where you're staying throughout the trip? No.
Starting point is 00:31:36 Cause then it doesn't really matter. If you're doing like a European trip where you're going like from here to there to there, it's very annoying. We're staying in one place, but here's what I should do. I should just buy all new clothes once I get there. For sure, every day. And then throw them away when I'm.
Starting point is 00:31:49 Buy a new set of clothes every single day. I think wherever you go, you have to dress like the locals. Yeah. Yeah, grass skirt. It's a Brero. Now you, this is an interesting thing about Scott that I did learn while we were traveling. Oh, okay. Scott has printed out the
Starting point is 00:32:06 Merriam-Webster dictionary. Yeah. You know, one page. I Xerox every page. Yes. Because I don't like the fact that there are words on both sides of pages. So I Xerox them out so that the reverse side is blank. And he carries that. He takes that with him on every page. So it's twice as big. In case there's a word that you don't know. Yeah. And how often did you use that? He also bumped up the font a little bit. You never used it? You knew every word. I knew every single word. No one ever said one word that you didn't quite know. Oh you know what, what I did notice, so on the plane trip back, I immediately spilled a drink on my seat before we ever took off. I'm glad you noticed it.
Starting point is 00:32:46 And they- He calls piss spilling a drink. In a way. And the flight attendant- Excuse me, I have to go spill a drink. Into the toilet. The flight attendant said like- Skibity toilet, of course.
Starting point is 00:32:58 I think you'd be more comfortable moving to another seat than like me putting down blankets or whatever. And so I said- um, so I said, what, what exactly, I want to get the word exactly right. But I said, um, is there an, is there an open seat? Bitch. How did I freeze this? No, what was the exact one? Was it open or was it, was there an open seat?
Starting point is 00:33:25 Available? No, no, it definitely was not available. It was like either free or open. I think it was open. I said, is there an open seat? And she looked at me like I was crazy and was like, open? She was, by the way, she was from, it was, we were flying out of Manchester.
Starting point is 00:33:38 So she's like, open. I was like, is there an open seat? She's, huh? And I said, is there an available seat? And she said, oh, oh. And it made me think that no one says open seat in England. I guess not. Anyway, it was crazy. Or wherever she was brought up,
Starting point is 00:33:56 maybe in a household where they didn't say that. But I think through context clues, it would be pretty easy to figure out. She was looking at me like I was nuts. I would think so. You got your foot up. Well, maybe you wanted to open your seat. You're fucking on an airplane yourself.
Starting point is 00:34:08 You are. Maybe you're like. What is wrong with this? Your socked foot. It is very uncomfortable to sit here for three hours at a time. I got to put my feet up. You think I love it? I want to sit on the floor.
Starting point is 00:34:18 My feet stay on the floor all the time. No! I actually want to be on the couch is what I was saying. You know, Janie and I. I do wish we could loosen it up a little and kind of lay all over the room for the second episode. Every once in a while, Janie and I will do our podcast on the couch. And it's kind of luxurious, I love it.
Starting point is 00:34:33 Naked. How dare you. How dare you think of me and my wife naked? I wanna see you naked once. No. No, I forbid it. Just once. I forbid it. Just once. I forbid it.
Starting point is 00:34:46 Before I die. Let me send you this. If you guys were like... There you go. Get a gander with that. It's your head in a toilet. In a skibbity toilet. He is skibbity, isn't he?
Starting point is 00:34:54 I guess I was wrong about skibbity being a pre-existing thing. I guess it's always been skibbity. A pre-existing condition. Okay, but if you guys were going to like going to a gym at the same time at the hotel, would you be nude around each other? No. The answer is no. How would you work around that? What's our work around for it? I just wait them out.
Starting point is 00:35:15 Well, you think anyone who goes to any gym is nude? You got to get completely naked. No, it is. I will say it's shocking to me when you go into a gym bathroom. Or a spa. Or a spa bathroom. No, a spa, you're a little more prepared for it. Well, a spa, like women's spa, people are nude. Like say I used to go to Gold's Gym, right?
Starting point is 00:35:39 To walk into the bathroom and then someone's just totally naked. It's shocking to me. Because there aren't a ton of reasons for it these days. Unless I guess you're going right before work. You want new undies, new shirt. If I see you naked in a gym, it should be that you are either toweling off from a shower,
Starting point is 00:35:59 or you're in the process of putting on your clothes. But I shouldn't see you just standing around. I shouldn't see you just standing around. Yeah. I shouldn't see you brushing your teeth. I think it's strange just for anyone to be naked in general in a gym. I'm never naked at all. Just go home.
Starting point is 00:36:12 Just go home. That's what I do. Just work enough time into your day where you go home and shower. Yeah, exactly. That's on you. No. Have my job.
Starting point is 00:36:21 Yeah, have my job where I have a little more time. Have my job and live five minutes from your gym I've been back at the gym Congrats today is gonna be a tough day because can I do it after doing this? Oh, can I go have a little rest and then that would be really hard? Yeah, incredible. I Here's the thing. I wanted to wake up early and do it before this, and then I slept like shit. Yeah. I hate that.
Starting point is 00:36:47 It sucks. I used to work out in the mornings and I now cannot because I have a baby and the nanny comes at night. And the baby hogs the gym. The baby hogs the gym. She's jacked, by the way. Your baby's swole. It's all arms.
Starting point is 00:36:59 I think she should do other stuff. She skips leg day every day. Tiny little legs, just dangling. Just dangling on his fingertip, just sitting on the edge like she's swinging on a swing. Do you remember SNL did a sketch about... The go-heads. It was like a talk, yeah, thank you.
Starting point is 00:37:15 Yeah, it was funny. It was during like Chris Farley days. Wayne's World. It was during Chris Farley days, and it was something about... Gap Girls. The theme of it was they were all on steroids. It was like a talk show where everybody was on steroids.
Starting point is 00:37:28 Yes, and everyone had, Jay Moore was in this. Yeah, and they had tiny little legs. And they had a lot of acne. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's all I remember from it. Yeah, I don't remember the content of it, but it was very funny to look at. Yeah, it was funny.
Starting point is 00:37:42 Are you jealous? It's funny, I'm jealous. I wish I was in this steroid sketch. We should do our own SNL. Let's redo our own SNL. With just the three of us. Yeah. How hard could it be? We'll call it SPL. Yes.
Starting point is 00:37:56 Yes. Why? Scott Paul-Laurin? Because like pumpkin spice lattes. Oh, I thought it's because Scott Paul-Laurin. No, because like spice pumpkin lattes. Spice pumpkin lattes. OK, that's good. Yeah, that's good. So we'll call it spice pumpkinattes. Oh, I thought it's cause Scott Paul Larson. No, cause like Spice Pumpkin Lattes. Spice Pumpkin Lattes. Okay, that's good. Yeah, that's good. So we'll call it Spice Pumpkin Lattes.
Starting point is 00:38:09 Yes. And then we'll do our own sketches. Yes, but. No, I want to reenact theirs. Here's the happy compromise. We take the themes of their sketches and then we write our own. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:23 So we go through their catalog in order. Killer bees, what is that gonna be? Yes. Murder hornets. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Right? Wasacka to be. What?
Starting point is 00:38:33 Oh, I thought you moved on to a different SNL. Wasacka to be. Wasacka to be. Wasacka to be, wasacka to be, wasacka to be. I was born in Wasacka to be, and then we moved when I was five years old. Wasacka to be is a real place? No.
Starting point is 00:38:48 You said it so calmly that I knew you had to be serious. The couch is calling us. But I'm doing really fine and I'm really awake and I'm doing really fine and I'm really awake. Doing really fine and I'm really awake and I'm doing really fine and I'm really awake. Doing really fine and I'm really awake. I'm doing really fine and I'm really awake. Get him doing really fine and I'm really awake. Get him doing really fine and I'm really awake. Doing really fine and I'm really awake. I'm doing really fine and I'm really awake. Doing really fine and I'm really awake.
Starting point is 00:39:11 Hey, hey, hey, hey. Doing really fine and I'm really awake. Doing really fine and I'm really awake. Doing really fine and I'm really awake. Hey, hey, hey, hey. How you feeling? You immediately shut your eyes. You shut your eyes. All right, Lauren, what do we gotta do! How you feeling? You immediately shut your eyes. You shut your eyes.
Starting point is 00:39:27 All right, Lauren, what do we gotta do to get you awake? Nothing, nothing, I'm great. What if a basket- Hey, hey, hey, right here, hey, hey, hey, hey. Right here. What if a basketball playing man made a basket and immediately shut his eyes and laid down on the court?
Starting point is 00:39:39 I would love that. I would love it too. One of those basketball playing men? Yeah, I think it would be sweet. That should be a reward. There should be a reward system for scoring points in sports. Scott, I couldn't agree more. You get a present. I couldn't agree more.
Starting point is 00:39:52 You know what I mean? Like right now, what do you get? You get points. Oh, great. That'll help us win the game. No. Get a little piece of candy. Yeah. You get to take a nap. And you also got credit card points. You got points of another kind points. Yes. Points on a film. Yes, yeah, the back end. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:07 What, I can just random, like suddenly you get one point in Jaws. Yeah. For scoring that basket. Right. Good job. And so that would cover like streaming? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:24 That would cover like merchandising, everything. You get one point on the back end of Jaws. So people are buying new Jaws merchandise? Yeah, and it's a different, it's just totally random. Like some are great. So random. Like the point on Jaws would be amazing. You'd be rich from it.
Starting point is 00:40:37 Oh my God, yeah, of course. But it's more popular now than it is. It would also be a piece of candy or whatever. It would just be totally random. Also be a piece of candy. Okay, so it's a basketball game. You wouldn't know what you're, well you get one thing. You don't get a piece of candy or whatever. It would just be totally random. Okay, so it's a basketball game.
Starting point is 00:40:48 You get one thing. You don't get a piece of candy and a ball. No, no, no. You just get one thing. It's like a Dave and Buster. You get tickets and you get... Yeah. So basically you score your basket, then you spin a big wheel. How's that going to impact gameplay? In what way? Do they have to go right to the wheel? Yeah, they go right to the wheel. That's not like at the end of the game? Yeah, they go right to the wheel. It's not like at the end of the game. No, they can towel off whatever they need to do, but they go right to the wheel. Get right to the wheel, they spin it, whatever prize they get, then they get that prize.
Starting point is 00:41:16 Immediately. Immediately, they hold it up. Immediately. If it's something that can be held up. Yes, exactly. If it's conceptual like a point on the back end for Jaws. Oh yeah, I just recently read a little story about four weddings and a funeral. Is this Lauren's story time?
Starting point is 00:41:28 Yes. And Hugh Grant was paid $100,000 and Andy McDowell chose to not be paid but to get a point and she made $2 million on the film. Smart. And you know... That's the Jack Nicholson on Batman. They had to call him Smarty McDowell. But it's like when do you use that point system when to say?
Starting point is 00:41:48 Oh, I don't want yes Marty. Yeah, okay. Smarty McDowell because it rhymes with Andy McDowell Yeah, yeah exactly No Jack Nicholson got I think 75 million dollars from Batman or something because he just took a point of course the heartbreaking story Vincent Price with Thriller. Yes. He said, do you want a flat fee or do you want a piece of the album? And he was like, that's the fee. And then Michael Jackson already being famous. Why would he say that? Because he, he was used to like just like he wanted the sure thing money. So then he, uh, this is according to, he's probably rolling his eyes so hard when he's going,
Starting point is 00:42:26 grizzly ghouls from every tomb. Yeah, but so then it becomes a huge hit. And so he tries to renegotiate and he keeps calling up Quincy Jones. And he keeps trying to call Michael Jackson and Michael Jackson won't pick up the call. And then- He's listening to a ring going, hee hee.
Starting point is 00:42:42 And then finally, like he sees Quincy Jones at a party and he goes, you fucked me. Wow. That's amazing. Not the Vincent Price I know from the VHS I used to watch growing up all the time. Which VHS is this? I know, you loved him. I loved him.
Starting point is 00:43:02 Can I remember the story, the name of it? No, is it a scary stories kind of thing? He would host these scary stories. The kind of thing he would host. It was black and white, I believe. God, I hope so. Yeah. But was it contemporary to you?
Starting point is 00:43:16 Or was it like an old thing? I really don't know. I've never explored. And who bought you this, honey? My mommy had it, sir. Vincent? And who bought you this honey? My mommy had it sir. Vincent Price. Look up VHS. Vincent Price VHS. And it will pop up immediately.
Starting point is 00:43:35 Vehicular hand slaughter. Scary stories. That's not a bad title or something. Tales of terror. No, write that down actually. Vehicular hand slaughter. Creepy classics. I bet I get a point. Sure. What is this? This might be it. Creepy Classics with Vincent Price, Amazon's opening telling me about Prime Day. What are you doing for Prime Day? A hauntingly hilarious video.
Starting point is 00:43:50 Do you have any plans? My whole family is coming over to have a big meal. I wish I knew when this was coming out. A big meal of food in boxes. Yeah. We're ordering everything off Amazon. We're ordering everything off Amazon. We're ordering everything off Amazon.
Starting point is 00:44:03 We're ordering everything off Amazon. We're ordering everything off Amazon. We're ordering everything off Amazon. We're ordering everything off to have a big meal. I wish I knew when this was coming up. A big meal of food in boxes. Yeah, we're ordering everything off Amazon. That's nice. I like that's traditional. It is. Dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba,
Starting point is 00:44:19 dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dibba, dib, wah, wah, wah. Hey, Macarena. Hey, Macarena. Macarena. Boom. Wow.
Starting point is 00:44:29 Absolutely wow. Did Macarena, big finish to the Macarena. Let me ask you this. Did Macarena fade out or did it end? I think it faded out. You think it faded out, Lauren, do you have any bets? I think the Macarena ended. They would have had a perfect ending,
Starting point is 00:44:43 but I bet it faded out. What do you think? I think the Macarena faded out. What do you think, Scott? Or do you know? No, I think it ended with, ah! That's what it should end with.
Starting point is 00:44:56 I think it faded out, but do you want to hear? Yeah, I need to know. And I want to hear what the ad is. Actually, I have it in my iTunes, so I... Oh shit, what? Why? Weirdly enough, I have three versions of it. Oh, sure.
Starting point is 00:45:13 Oh yeah, we can hear it from the beginning. This song slaps. Oh! I am the sun and the air That'd be a good mashup. Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar I'm the sun and air Of nothing in particular You shut your mouth
Starting point is 00:45:37 How can you say I know our things are wrong way I am human and I want to macarena Just like anybody else does Bye! That was almost a perfect edit. It really was. Ah, hi!
Starting point is 00:46:04 Oh shit! No fade out. No fade out. Hey Macarena. Wow. You know what? Macarena, are you going to apology? Yeah, it did. No, I don't think it's a little bit of both.
Starting point is 00:46:15 It did not fade out. I never did see that breakdown coming. That was beautiful. They broke it down, which I feel is almost a fade out. And not even a hard end. Hard, the hardest of ends, Macarena. You did it. You did it.
Starting point is 00:46:33 Guys, we have to take a break. Yeah, I know. And- It's about damn time. We'll be right back. I'm a Macarena. When we come back. I'm a Macarena. I'm a Macarena.
Starting point is 00:46:41 We're going to do a- Macarena, Macarena, home. We're gonna do a- You know what we're do a, you know what we're going to do. You know what we're going to do. You know what we're going to do. We'll be right back. You know what we're going to do. You know what we're going to do. Going to do, do, do, do, do it. I think there's a reason they call it a health journey, right?
Starting point is 00:47:04 It's because these things take time and any program you're on should not be selling some one-size-fits-all fix to all your nutritional questions. Weight Watchers has been the trusted authority in this space for decades. It's because they want to help us all towards building healthier habits. And now they've introduced the Weight Watchers Clinic. If you qualify, you can access doctor-prescribed weight loss medications and receive support from a dedicated care team. You'll get virtual one-on-ones with board-certified doctors focused on weight care, insurance coordination to help minimize your costs, one-on-one consultations
Starting point is 00:47:32 with a registered dietitian, and medication management, such as support navigating medication shortages, all through the Weight Watchers app. Weight Watchers fits your needs whether it's through their clinically proven points program or for those that medically qualify, access to doctor prescribed weight loss medications and registered dietitians in Weight Watchers Clinic. See how Weight Watchers fits you at WeightWatchers.com. That's WeightWatchers.com. Hi, I'm Emily Deschanel. And I'm Carla Gallo. And we're here to bring you Boneheads, the official Bones rewatch podcast. 16 years ago, we met on the set of the TV show Bones and have been friends ever since. I played Dr. Temperance Brennan.
Starting point is 00:48:12 And I played Daisy Wick. We're starting from the top and working our way through all 246 episodes. The show last very long time. Very long. Tune in every Wednesday to laugh with us, to cry with us, to cringe with us, and hear all our juicy behind the scenes stories. Boneheads from Lemonada Media is out now, wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:48:40 Take it away, Paul. Hi, I'm Paul and it's time for you know what? That's right. A three-chair. What is a three-chair? I'll tell you. A three-chair is a game that we like to play. Sometimes known as a buster.
Starting point is 00:49:01 And if you'd like to send this one, why don't you write to us? Why don't you go fuck us? Go fuck yourself. First do that. Then when you're in the afterglow, write to freedomusa at gmail.com and send us a game we can play, like a game you play in the car. Let's get the energy out here.
Starting point is 00:49:16 Okay, maybe if we let me get my fucking words out. Just trying to. If you'd like to send us a three-chart, write to us at g.gmail.com Make it a game we play in the car, make it a game you play in the parlor, that sort of thing. We'd love to hear from you and we'd love to look at you. Your email address that is. We'd love to have it and we'd love to love. We need to do DJ.
Starting point is 00:49:40 We need to do DJ. We need to do DJ. Please, the DJ. We need the DJ. Please the DJ. So this game is called where the fuck did it go? Romantic, uplifting, scary. We call it Russ where I'm from. Russ. Like Russ Crowe.
Starting point is 00:49:56 Russ Crowe. Russ Myers. By the way I just saw for the first time Master and Commander Colon, the far side of the world. It's fucking great. I... What an exciting movie. I had it like on an iPad saved forever for a trip
Starting point is 00:50:11 and I never watched it. Watch it on your TV. Don't watch it on an iPad. All right, sir. It's fun. It's really fun. Go around the room telling a story where each person says a word. However, one person, however...
Starting point is 00:50:23 However, boy, sounds however, however, boy, that sounds good. That sounds easy, right? Uh-uh. However, one person has romance uplifting and scary. Oh wait, I, upon closer inspection. That's how it's described. I have late breaking news.
Starting point is 00:50:37 I said, that's how it's described. However, one person has. Your phone's working? No. No. But upon closer inspection, you know how I said I had three versions of Macarena? Yeah. Here's working? No. But upon closer inspection, you know how I said I had three versions of Macarena? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:47 Here's one of them. Ooh, this one feels kind of good. The fuck? Why are they singing like that? Who is it? What is this? I want them to start singing first. Is this Mike Hanford?
Starting point is 00:51:11 That's a good guess. Is it Miss Piggy? Yes, Miss Piggy. What? So wait, so Mike Hanford sounds like Miss Piggy? Honestly, it sounded like Mike Hanford until I said Miss Piggy and then it sounded like Miss Piggy. That was crazy. I really thought it was Mike Hanford.
Starting point is 00:51:39 Scott, I got to tell you, when you started playing that, I was like, why the fuck are we listening to this? And then could not have asked for a bigger payoff. I'm really happy about it. All right, so we tell the story. One person has to say everything and frame everything in a romantic way. One person has to be uplifting, inspiring, if you will.
Starting point is 00:51:58 And one person has to be scary. One word at a time. One word at a time? No. A sentence at a time. Not one word at a time. It was word before at a time? No. A sentence at a time. Not one word at a time. It was word before, but we can do sentence.
Starting point is 00:52:06 Was it really? Yeah. What's the instructions say? Let's try one. Oh, my phone! Yay! Cancel the genius bar. Whoa!
Starting point is 00:52:14 Cancel the genius bar. Cancel the genius bar. Cancel the genius bar. It's back. Hey, hey, hey, hey! Okay, can I tell you how long it took to do that last percentage? Yeah, please.
Starting point is 00:52:25 Three hours. Yikes, good to know percentage. Yeah, please. Three hours. Yikes, good to know if I'm gonna update. My phone might be out of commission. Not great at all. Go around the room telling a story where each person says a word. Thank you. Exactly, however one person has romance,
Starting point is 00:52:40 uplifting, and scary. So one person has romantic, uplifting, and scary. One has romantic, uplifting and scary. So one person has romantic, uplifting and scary. One has romantic, one has uplifting. What does someone says? One person has a romantic, uplifting and scary. One person is normal and one person is also normal. Okay, so Scott is going to be, so here pick a number between one through 10.
Starting point is 00:53:01 Sorry, I had to cancel my genius mark. Why one through 10? By the way, why are they texting me on the phone that's not working about whether I want to cancel it or not? Oh, shit, Apple, get your shit together. I was just coming up with the most convoluted way to make whatever number he meant, picked, had some sort of meaning with those letters.
Starting point is 00:53:18 So much more work. So we're doing one sentence at a time? No. One word at a time, dear. One word at a time, dear. One word at a time? Yes. What's an example of these words? From.
Starting point is 00:53:30 Do you want to be romantic, scary, or uplifting? I want to be romantic. I want to be uplifting. Paul, you're going to be scared. Then I guess I'm going to be scary. Oh, God, that's frightening. That's just a taste. Okay, and then let's give the story a title. So we kind of have a direction with it.
Starting point is 00:53:45 Okay, yeah. Life in my America. Okay, great. Okay, great. I'll start. And I'm, what am I? I'm romantic, yes. Wonderfully.
Starting point is 00:54:03 Ghoulish. Was. She. This is good already. However. I'm hooked. However. More books should be written this way, because honestly, this is a page-turner. Happily. More books should be written this way, because honestly, this is a page-turner. Happily. If you don't have however in your second sentence. However happily she died.
Starting point is 00:54:40 She lived zombie-like. She... Lived... Zombie-like. Once... She... Haunted... Beautifully... Romantically. Demonically. But. You say but.
Starting point is 00:55:08 She. Reanimated. Nicely. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven.
Starting point is 00:55:24 Eight. Nine. Reanimated. Nicely. Three. Ghosts. Later. Visited. Her. In. Her.
Starting point is 00:55:42 Skeleton. America. You. Stink. Maybe we should wrap that up. That was perfect. That was perfect. Oh man, life in my America. I'm going to give you a title. I'm going to give you a title. I'm going to give you a title.
Starting point is 00:55:52 I'm going to give you a title. I'm going to give you a title. I'm going to give you a title. I'm going to give you a title. I'm going to give you a title. I'm going to give you a title. I'm going to give you a title. I'm going to give you a title.
Starting point is 00:56:00 I'm going to give you a title. I'm going to give you a title. I'm going to give you a title. I'm going to give you a title. I'm going to give you a title. I'm going to give you a title. I'm going to give you a title. I'm going to give you a title. I'm going to give you a title. I think we should wrap that up. That was perfect. That was perfect. Oh man, life in my America. I'm going to be uplifting the title. Let's do another one. Should we switch it up?
Starting point is 00:56:12 Yeah. I'll be scary. I'll be romantic. I'll be uplifting. Okay. Okay. And the title is, Taking a Walk Feels Good.
Starting point is 00:56:24 Okay. Outside. And the title is, Taking a Walk Feels Good. Okay. Outside. Under. Covers. Because. Gorgeous. Covers.
Starting point is 00:56:46 Tor. Daintily. Sexily. At. Golden. Showers. Okay, that's romantic. It's the most romantic thing you can think of, Lauren.
Starting point is 00:57:07 There's a golden shower. Black. Memories. Pass. Over. Raise. Over. Raise. Your. This is a new sentence. Hands.
Starting point is 00:57:39 Worshipfully. Because. Demons. Can't. Demons. Can't. Get you. We'll give you two words. Terrifying. Accomplishments.
Starting point is 00:58:03 Must. Haunt. Noments. Must. Haunt. No one. Because. When. You. Die. Romantic.
Starting point is 00:58:18 Devils. Won't. Love. You. Thank you. Wow. Wow, another banger. Another banger from the Freedom Boys. Taking a walk is nice. Taking a walk is nice.
Starting point is 00:58:29 Taking a walk is so nice. It really is though. It really is. Look, we joke around a lot, but taking a walk is nice. Have you ever taken even one? Yeah. I've taken one walk. How many walks?
Starting point is 00:58:37 One. I've done, yeah, I've taken one. I've done, yeah, I've taken one. I've done, yeah, I've taken one. I've done, yeah, I've taken one. I've done, yeah, I've taken one. I've done, yeah, I've taken one. I've done, yeah, I've taken one. I've done, yeah, I've taken one. I've done, yeah, I've taken one. I've done, yeah, I've taken one. I a lot, but taking a walk is nice. Have you ever taken even one?
Starting point is 00:58:45 Yeah, I've taken one walk. How many walks? One. I've done, yeah, I've done one. I took half a walk. What happened? You got sick? No, I hopped on one leg.
Starting point is 00:58:55 For three miles. It's like a popsicle stick joke. Send that stick back to re-ripes. That was a first draft stick. Listen. Send that stick back to rewrite. That was a first draft stick. Listen. Kermit Tito. Kermit Tito.
Starting point is 00:59:11 Kermit Tito. She's having a great time. This is from the Muppets. Kermitino! Kermitino! Kermitino! Kermitino! She's having a great time. This is from the Muppets Most Wanted soundtrack, a movie that I watched about 10 minutes of and then it froze and I never got back to it. But this is making me want to finish it. When we were watching Master End Commander, we were watching on YouTube premium, so no ads, but great, here's the whole movie.
Starting point is 00:59:49 An hour and 20 in, it just stops, and it says this movie's not available anymore. And we're like, what? It's not anymore, it says this movie's not available. And we're like, what the fuck? We back page, we search for it again, it doesn't exist on YouTube anymore. What?
Starting point is 01:00:03 Just a trailer. So someone took it down while you watched it. While we were watching it. That? Just a trailer. Someone took it down while you were watching it. While we were watching it. That sucks. So we had to rent it to watch the rest of it. That's crazy. Yeah. I feel so bad.
Starting point is 01:00:12 I'm so sorry. Thank you. Thank you, my God, you guys, thank you. I'm sorry. I'm gonna cry. I'm really sorry. When I was watching The Passion of the Christ for Scott Asnese, our internet was lagging,
Starting point is 01:00:22 so every three minutes it would stop for ten minutes. Oh my god. It would freeze for ten minutes. That movie already is long. It took me, I think, five hours to watch it. Oh my god, it's shorter. Jesus Christ. Literally. I would have canceled that episode.
Starting point is 01:00:37 I would have said, nope. Not worth it. Because it was too late to rent it down at... The one time that happened to me was, I think, legally blonde when I had to rent it from amoeba or something Like or no, I bought a used copy for a dollar. Wow Still overpriced Didn't like it harsh. So guys We got to talk about our merch. Yeah People want to know about it and it's really great. You know, it's high quality stuff
Starting point is 01:01:02 This is a really nicely made product. It is guys. We have a sweatshirt, we have t-shirts. Stop pretending that we don't. Multiple types of t-shirts. Kinship Goods is our partner in merch and they do such a wonderful job. Guys, I got new emojis.
Starting point is 01:01:16 So you're immediately on your phone because it updated. Well, I just did a thumbs up to someone because now I'm trying to catch up on everyone who's been trying to get a hold of me. Well we're recording a podcast dear. Maybe you could talk to them in two minutes. We're almost done. Emergency thumbs up.
Starting point is 01:01:32 Okay here's a message I got while we were recording. Okay better be good. Goodbye Colin Allred. What? Is that it? I know it hooked me. Colin Allred 44%, Ted Cruz, 46%. If Dems don't step up, all hope will be lost in Texas.
Starting point is 01:01:50 I love the new tone of text where it's like, we're hitting the panic button. They're like, yeah, it's really insane. That's not inspiring really. We were gonna win, but no one donated. Yeah. We're doing a match of 1100%. All right.
Starting point is 01:02:06 So listen, our merch is very nice. Merch. It's really good. We got sweatshirts. We got t-shirts. We got buttons. We got, um, stickers. We have all kinds of fun, freedom stuff for you to have.
Starting point is 01:02:17 Here's how you get to it. All it costs is money. Yeah. cbbworld.com slash merch. It's so easy to fall in love. It is. Just pay your money. It is. Just pay your money, pay the ferryman.
Starting point is 01:02:29 And that's that. And that's that. And then you'll get the stuff and you'll be glad you did because honestly these- To pay the ferryman. These are great, great shirts. It's good stuff. And I once, I didn't wanna buy the shirt,
Starting point is 01:02:40 so I just bought a bunch of stickers and put those all over my torso. And that was like a shirt. If you get enough stickers, you can buy the shirt. So I just bought a bunch of stickers and put those all over my torso. And that was like a shirt. If you get enough stickers, you can make a shirt. Yeah. I've always said that. And a shirt you don't have to wash. You just throw it away.
Starting point is 01:02:52 Yeah. Also you should shave yourself before you do that. I wish that I could throw away all my clothes immediately after. I wish I could throw your clothes away. Tell you what, let's do a strangers on the train. I'll throw your clothes away if you throw my clothes away. I'm gonna keep my clothes. I said I want to throw your clothes away. Tell you what, let's do a strangers on the train. I'll throw your clothes away if you throw my clothes away. I'm going to keep my clothes. I said I want to throw your clothes away. Well, how do we strangers on a train this? What do I throw away? Throw
Starting point is 01:03:11 away somebody else's clothes, not mine. What? So I'm supposed to do just a circular strangers on a train? There's no rule, there's no rule that says it's only two strangers. Okay. Okay, is this Lauren? Okay, now Lauren, what do you want? You want to talk about maybe our Instagram or socials? If you'd like to follow us on Instagram, Scott posts regularly. The Instagram is called freedom USA. So you can find us there. We post about the episodes and sometimes some bonus content. Now, if you want to write to us, by the way, I just got instructions of how to get these emails. We have not opened up the emails yet, but I just got instructions of how to log into it.
Starting point is 01:03:50 Oh, I'm scared. Were they complicated instructions or was it just a username and password? It was a username and password, but no one had ever sent it to us. It is. So now I have it. These had never been seen before. How was this recovered? Well, Brett had it the whole time and just never sent it to us. Why did he do that?
Starting point is 01:04:05 And isn't that amazing? Because he's got a twisted mind. Can I say, here's something weird I learned about him on tour. What's that? He likes to sabotage things so he can clean them up. Yeah. He put a penny on the train tracks when we were taking a train to Bristol. Yeah, and then he screamed, like, oh, there's a penny on the train track.
Starting point is 01:04:24 Yeah, and we all jumped out of the train. Yeah, he screamed like, this is putting on a train track. Yeah, and we all jumped out of the train. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I tore my shirt and my pants. Yeah. But just with your hands? Sliding down the hill. Yeah, he was so mad.
Starting point is 01:04:33 I was so angry. You hoped that. I rent my garments. Yeah, so that guy, he's like an art, he's like an art, he's like an art sinistro, sets of fire. He's like the Banksy of chaos. That's crazy. Yeah, he Oh, the Banksy of chaos. That's crazy.
Starting point is 01:04:45 Yeah, he's like the Banksy of chaos. In any case, write to us at freedomusa at gmail.com and we're gonna open these up fairly soon and maybe there will be new Freedom Games in there. Oh, I hope so. That'd be so fun. Oh, I hope so. Oh, please God.
Starting point is 01:05:00 We need new ones. We do need new ones. How many emails do you think we have? Four. I think we have? Four. I think we're going to have 75. Do you want to know a fun fact about me? My blood sugar just dropped through the floor. OK.
Starting point is 01:05:13 Yeah. Let's wrap it up. Let's talk about, though, every two weeks we do three meme episodes. That's right. Where we take a voicemail. Voicemails. It's fun. You leave a voicemail. Voicemails. It's fun.
Starting point is 01:05:25 You leave a voicemail by going to hagclaims8.com and leave a voicemail there. We'll play it on the three memes and you can get the three memes by either subscribing at cbbworld.com or at Lemonada Premium. And if you leave a voicemail, take a voicemail. That's what we've always said.
Starting point is 01:05:42 Just go in there and take one out. Yes. Balance is so cool. Balance, balance, balance, balance. And- Go ahead and scot-see. Then every Tuesday we re-release old episodes. If you want to hear all of our old episodes, subscribe at CBB World,
Starting point is 01:05:56 but if you don't want to subscribe and you want to hear them, we release one a week on Tuesdays. We call this three visiting at the twos. It's so simple and so fun. Yeah. It's so fun. And it could be more simple and it couldn't be more fun. Paul and I might have some live dates still coming up. I don't know when this is coming up,
Starting point is 01:06:11 but it might, oh, I could actually figure it out, but it might be- Your precious calendar. Now that my calendar, what's new in calendar, I don't care. Oh God, it looks different now. Oh no, he's not gonna be able to deal with this. It shouldn't have updated. I hate this.
Starting point is 01:06:24 Oh, okay, this comes out. Oh, actually we're in the middle of these last few shows. I don't know, he's not gonna be able to deal with this. It shouldn't have updated. I hate this. Oh, okay, this comes out. Oh, actually we're in the middle of these last few shows. Can I glance at what it looks like? Yeah, it looks like this. Oh, that is different, but I think I like that. Tonight we are in Troy, New York. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:39 Tomorrow we're in New Haven, Connecticut. Yeah, pizza. Then on Monday we're in Tarrytown, New York. Tarrytown. And then, no, that's Sunday. And then Monday, we're in Red Bank, New Jersey. Yes, John Tesh. And then I think we're gonna have one last show
Starting point is 01:06:56 to close out the year. More on that later. More on that later. I don't know whether it'll have been announced by then. But I will say say by this weekend, there's an exciting announcement about, so I'll be at Comic-Con, I think this weekend. So just look at.
Starting point is 01:07:13 Are we? I love this. He said it was exciting. Oh, you were like seeing the Beatles. Check out Marvel and what we're announcing this weekend. Oh, let me tell you this. Oh, I got an announcement. I got an announcement.
Starting point is 01:07:25 I got an announcement too. Now that Scott's opened the door for individual announcements. Saturday, November 23rd, Charleston Music Hall in Charleston, South Carolina, the last Varietopia of the year. We're excited to be returning to Charleston. We had a great show there last year.
Starting point is 01:07:39 Come on out, it's gonna be a lot of fun. My new movie, Another Happy Day, is now available to own. I gotta see this fucking thing. Video on demand. I'll be honest with you, I gotta see this fucking thing. Thank you. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:51 I'm gonna demand that they show it to me. It helps so much to purchase these indie movies. It helps them know that people care and maybe something great will happen. But where can we find it on a torrent? You can find it on Apple TV at the moment, but I think, and I think Prime. So- Go to Putin's Palace.
Starting point is 01:08:08 It's called Another Happy Day. It's a postpartum depression comedy starring me. Get ready. These are all good announcements. It's a PPDC. Yeah. We love you all. We do. We appreciate you
Starting point is 01:08:20 listening to us all. We very much do. Thank you for being our beloveds. Thanks. And Richard Kind, if you're listening, we'll see you at Christmas. This Christmas! At Lemonada Media, we are on a mission to make life suck less. That's why we are so excited to announce the launch of our newest show, Good Things, a podcast we specifically created to highlight people and organizations who make our world a better place. Hosted by
Starting point is 01:08:51 a rotating cast of our favorite Lemanada hosts and special guests, Good Things highlights incredible organizations that are solving our country's most complex issues. From working to improve the American foster care system to fighting to increase diversity and inclusion initiatives, this show shines a light on the fixers out there who are working to make good things happen. Good Things is available now wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, everyone. Gloria Riviera here,
Starting point is 01:09:17 and we are back for another season of No One Is Coming to Save Us, a podcast about America's child care crisis. This season, we're delving deep into five critical issues facing our country through the lens of child care, poverty, mental health, housing, climate change, and the public school system. By exploring these connections, we aim to highlight that child care is not an isolated issue, but one that influences all facets of American life. Season 4 of No One is Coming to Save Us is out now wherever you get your podcasts.

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