Threedom - Step Outta My Breath

Episode Date: December 18, 2025

Lauren, Scott, and Paul discuss nails, onomatopoeias, and the tour bus before playing Menacing Phone. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Unlock every episode of THREEDOM and THREEMIUM, ad-free, on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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We yelled. Welcome back, everyone. I'm talking to you two. What? Thank you. We are everyone. What? What is this?

What is this? Why am I being recording? What if? Recording in progress. What if we had been surreptitiously recording you this whole time with using wires? Like, you were an informant. That'd be awesome. I would have given you, like, two pieces of gossip, and you'd be like, you got her.

It took 40 hours. When you say surreptitiously, it makes me hungry for pancakes. I want to eat some pancakes covered in surreptitiously. We're recording on a Sunday morning, and have any of us... Sunday morning. Have any of us had our pancakes today? I just had eggs and avocado, and Mike had also made some beyond sausage that didn't turn out well, but I think it might have been...

freezer burned. Oh, no. Oh, I hate that. It was just moistureless. And I usually love beyond meat. Yeah, it's good. We were both disappointed by that. What I love about beyond meat is that it's not made of cows.

It's made of animals we don't care about. Is it? I don't think so. Yeah, you don't know that. I mean, rats are beyond meat. Like, it's like, it's just beyond. Yeah, so beyond. So beyond.

It's the, you get, that's where you can, you can buy it. bed bath and beyond that's what the beyond stands for yeah yeah there's a big freezer you walk into yeah guys it's beginning to look a lot like oh christmas christmas it's beginning to look a lot like costco you're crazy if they don't use that they're crazy but they've been there one to two times i think and the freezer area there is crazy it's like a whole room it's like a warehouse room So somewhere between one and two? One to two times. I might have walked in and walked out.

Why? More than one? Definitely not more than two. It actually is like, to me, it was, I built it up so much. And I was like, I'm going to go there. My friend was like, I'm going to get you in. Like, we're going to go. I'll use my card.

She left the back door open. And because you have to have a membership. And I built. Too many dudes already. I was pretty excited. All right, ladies. Come on in. And then it's, it's.

It's, you know, my issue with it. And there are going to be haters about this because people are, the Costco lovers love Costco. And I really understand why. But for me, I didn't like how the aisles are not organized very clearly. Like, it's kind of like you just have to kind of go down every aisle. I think if you're there twice, you know, you know where everything is. Yeah. Okay.

I feel like they do have signs and stuff. There's signs, but it's like, it's all like brown boxes. It's like you kind of, it's not pleasing to mine eyes. Understood. So I feel kind of overwhelmed by these huge, huge towering shelves of things. And then I ended up buying stuff I didn't really like because I was like, oh, this is a good deal.

So you're like a visual of them. You're a visual shopper. I am a visual shopper. I'm a visual learner. The thing about cost company is that it does feel like you're in a warehouse and you're not allowed to be in a warehouse. So you always have that feeling of, I'm going to get yelled at for being in here.

That's the same with IKEA. And then it's just a lot of people with big carts. You know, it's very, it's very tight. Big carts. They got them big carts. Do you, did you try the hot dog? I haven't had one of those. The hot dog's good.

Hot dogs are the best. I mean, everything I've eaten from there I actually did like. I subsisted on the hot dog during theater school because our classes were right next to a Costco. Would always go over there, get two hot dogs, two drinks for, was it $2 at the time? I think it's $2 at the time. I think it's $2. Yeah, it was so good. it the same because I think the guy in charge was like, cool and was like, no, it's going to always

be $2. Well, definitely with the roast chickens as well. That's a big thing where he they, the company said, look, I mean, with the prices of chicken going up, you're going to lose money every chicken, so we need to raise the price. And the leadership said, that's fine. We'll lose money.

You know, I like that. Yeah. Because losing money to them means they're just not making as much money. Yes, exactly. As they would. It's not like they're actually in the red. Right. Well, that's true from the chickens. But also, like, people love the Kirkland signature clothing and stuff.

And I actually really wish that I could relate to it so I could buy it. But I don't feel a connection. Anytime I see someone wearing Kirkland clothing, it makes me laugh that it's Costco clothing. And I have a respect for it that. Does Kulap have a Kirkland sweatshirt? I think she does. Yeah. I think she does.

She's a Costco queen. Kirkland item or two. She does, how often does she go? I mean she was just there I'm sure she could school me on this She was just there a couple of days ago Because last night was our annual holiday party Neither of you attended

So sorry about that And I couldn't be there because I was not in the same state I wasn't in the same state of mind I was at Arden's birthday party Which I cool up called it from the start She was like you're probably going to be going to the birthday party The same night But much like Michael Jordan I took that personally

And I had to be there but Janie was there I had to do a lot you could help us set up I would have appreciated it if you were going to help anyone I heard Janie was the hit of the party

she was wow Paul I have to say she looked great but I felt weird saying that with you not around yeah because you're a perv I feel weird you saying it right now okay so I can't win reach through this fucking screen

you know It's funny. I feel like when people, like, I had two moments last night where an older man told me I looked great. And then I told him he looks great too. And then they both were like, don't. Don't do this. Not today. What they did. I wasn't trying to be. Well, it's, I do like, I was like, I feel like there should be another man around when I say, you look great. So I can, so I didn't like another man, you know, whistling and cat calling. Like mother. You don't like to be alone with a woman Yeah, so I just, I said nothing But I thought she looked wonderful Like what she was wearing is what I'm talking about

Sure, I'm sure she had a nice Christmas outfit on Mm-hmm Mm-hmm Lauren, if we started calling you mother, would that bother you? I don't mind if the teens do it But I do mind it Mother Yeah

I mean, because I did mean in like in a Mike Pence kind of way Yeah, I know And that is weird Not like Lauren his mother. Did George H.W. Bush also do the mother thing? Mother. Is it basically he accidentally called someone mother? No, no, just.

Nancy Reagan, mommy. Ugh. Regularly? On the regs? No, he made a point to do it. That's really gross. He corrected her. I'm going to give you 10 mommies a day.

I try not to even do that. I mean, like, I do have to refer to Mike that way with the kids. yeah right mommy of course um but i don't i feel like i don't want to constantly be like daddy what's the story on this you know like that's stolen valor it's just i look forward to emmy learning my real name because we don't want her googling us at this point so we have holly called me lauren lapkis do you think right now she's googling just daddy daddy networth daddy net worth daddy Network. Daddy feet. Oh, my daddy feet score is so high. Daddy feet. My daddy feet score is in the basement and I don't know what to do about it.

You got to have a kid. You need to get a pedicure. No, I thought Daddy Feet was like the worst your feet look. My toenails are yellow and curling over. Ew. That's like the worst thing that can happen to a person. Truly. Truly. How long could your teeth? toenails grow if you just let them fly. Like as long as those weird. So you've seen the Guinness Book of World Records, Avenue? Oh, I got to check that out. My friend

runs it. But only fingernails. I haven't seen toenails. Yeah, I guess I'm sure it's the same. But then you can't walk. Ugh. Bluh. Um, I don't want to see it. Guys, I have a. I don't want to see that. I have a, I have a nomination. Okay. I have a, I was thinking about this is this week and I wanted to bring it up. I have a nomination for Best Anamonopoeia. Okay. This is

intriguing. Okay. Think about your own nominations, but let me tell you what mine is. Mine is Achu. The sneeze sound. Because I sneezed the other day

and I realized I just literally said Achu. You know what's funny? That's exciting when that happens. In Lithuanian. Excuse me. My voice is like literally ran away. Bye. In Lithuanian, Achu means thank you. Really?

Yeah. Wow. I feel like... It's A-C-I-U with a kind of the word of the carrot over it. How do you know that? My dad's Lithuanian and he speaks Lithuanian. Does he speak it? Really?

Mm-hmm. I did not know that. Would that be confusing when he would thank you for things and you would say bless you? and I guess that actually makes sense. We did make that joke a lot growing up. Sure. Yeah. I mean, it's right there.

It's right there. But yeah, I think that's a great one. I saw somebody post on Blue Sky. The whole post was just sneezing in Australian. Achoy! A Choi. A Choi? A joy.

I don't know. I don't know what my favorite Anamotapia is. Because like blam, I don't think blam sounds. like what it actually is. You know what I mean? Do you know what's an underrated one? I think is Splash. Splash, I think, really conveys

in a cute way what's going on. Although, take the A-UGA. Aruga is a great one. When your eyes bug out, when you see a pretty lady. Hall of Fame. Yes. It's crazy. Your tongue goes all the way to the ground.

It's always like crazy when that happens because you're like, can I get a little privacy with these emotions? Yeah. Does my tongue have to unfur like a red carpet? Yeah. But take the A out of splash and then I think you got something. That's what ruins it is the A.

So it's like sph. We have to be able to spell it. You can't spell splash without the A? I'm sure there's a company called. You think there's a bathing suit company called Splush? Yeah, for sure. Sploge. Probably like a mobile pool service.

I think my favorite Anamapia is spooge. it's exactly what it sounds like i think mine is on similar lines it's come ew uh we're like gum wait you're saying it that's not automata pee no that's what it sounds like what it happens it's like donk don't i i guess bell ringing automata pia is pretty good ding dong ding dong what's up is.

Bing bong is also good. Bing bong. Uh-huh. Kong clonk. Clonk. Clunk, great one. Thunk, really good one. When you're writing comics, there's, there always comes a time when you're sitting there.

Oh, now I see. This is a setup. No, it's not. I already did my bid about Anamatopoeia. Just so you could talk about comics. That's crazy. I'll save this. for Jason Manzoukis, never mind.

It's just that kind of thing when, like, you know that someone had another agenda, and so you can't really trust anything that you've said. Can I say that? It feels like we all were foolish for even, like, bringing up what other... I was confused momentarily because I thought you said, I'll say this for Jason

Manzoukis, never mind. Hey, Jason, never mind. No, tell me, when you're writing comics, what? Oh, there just comes a time when you're sitting there, they are trying to come up with the onomatopoeia sound effects and you're like making noises and going and like how do you spell that you know or going you know stuff like that oh wow i never considered that of course mm wapush wapush because you don't always want to use like boom or bam or cablam do you ever use scrint i should do you ever use sclup

Sclop. That's when like a frog jumps on your foot. Flibidi bibbidi. The swamp thing is growing up out of the ground. Swamp thing had great sound effects for when Swamp thing is becoming. You make the swamp sting. We both had fun with it.

Yeah. What were some of the sound effects? It would just be like splorch, please, splop, splop, splop. It would be just like the sound of vegetation. and forming into a humanoid form. What's your favorite vegetation? Broccoli. I just love how it grows.

Honestly, for real talk, moss. Moss. Moss is my favorite vegetation. You love moss. I love it. I love it as a texture. Love it as a color. Mm-hmm.

Kind of greenish, what? Love it as a word. Yeah. I love it as a foot. As a football player. A yellowish green. As a football player. Is there a football player named Moss?

Randy Moss. Well, good for him. How's he doing? I don't think well. I think he's, is he retired at this point? He must be. Oh,

that sounds great. He played for Minnesota, which is I think why I paid attention to him because there was a period where we would root for Minnesota Vikings to do things. Oh, of course. They never did. Get your lives together.

He, is he done? Propose. Does anyone care? Is he done? I don't know. I know I don't care, but I don't know. He's done. He's, he's done.

He was working for ESPN, but I'll tell you one thing in 2022, Moss left Monday night countdown. Wow. Fuck. You just got sick of those numbers. Yeah. Fuck. ESPN's pretty good on Monopoeia. Ispin.

Yeah. That's the sound of sports. yeah Paul well before I get into that have you seen that video of John Tush that's making the rounds

where he is and by the way I just mean my brother and I sent it to each other but you probably saw it he's like he came up with the sports center not sports center

NBA what is it NBA NBA and he left himself a voicemail or whatever answer machine message he's played this

on on stage occasionally yeah okay so it's old news yeah it was on state it was a video of him on stage doing it. And then he like launches into it. When you see videos.

Was he a host at some point? Entertainment Tonight. Yeah. That's what he's mainly known for. Oh, Entertainment Tonight. That's why I know him. I was like, but I didn't, the music thing surprised me. And I was like, oh, wait, was he always a musician and I'm misremembering that he was a host.

No, everyone. I think he always was a musician, but nobody gave a shit until he was on entertainment tonight. Yeah. He's like, hey, I'm going. Hey, if you enjoyed that. Celebrity News, I'm going to Red Rocks. Yeah. It was a funny piece of trivia of like, oh, the entertainment tonight host does music.

Oh, it's like, you know, music that we would never listen to, like instrumental weird stuff. But that is a banger. Does he make a ton of money on NBA? That's like, unless he had some bad deal. That must be crazy. Why do you want to rob him? Yeah. I'm just curious.

This is a great heist movie. Let's rob John Tesh. Remember that let's rob Mick Jagger series? No. Did that actually happen in that series? Yeah. Sophia Vergara was on it right before Modern Family. And Mick Jagger, like, I think this is what I remember from it.

Mick Jagger promised to be in a lot of the series, and he taped like a one-minute thing for the pilot of him kicking a soccer ball around, I remember. And then he ghosted everyone and never appeared again. I remember hearing about that, and I guess it, to me, it was like a thing that, obviously, it's never going to happen. That's never going to be a TV show. They were going to change the person they were going to rob every single season. Yeah. Okay.

I remember this now. Lauren, may I also direct your attention to the Tim Robinson John Tesh sketch from SNL? Was it on? Oh, on SNL. Yeah, just look it up. Oh, yes. I have seen that. I probably didn't get it without knowing that he really did that.

I think they do the NBA theme. They pitch other things or something. Yeah. Or they're, yeah, it's him and I feel like it's Sudecas maybe and they're like pitching the song or something like that. It's very cool. Yeah. Cool. Paul. Oh, no, that is cool.

It's very cool. It's just cool. No other words to describe it. That's cool and you're cool. Paul, I want to ask you because you're on tour. Yes. And you're going to be in Chicago for a few days. That's right.

What do you plan to do? And it's very snowy there right now. And I'm curious how the weather's been where you're traveling. It's very cold. It's snowing right now here in Erie, Pennsylvania. Wow. Oh, my gosh. Paul just tilted his camera over to the window, which is a clear covering of holes in the building.

And we are seeing the- We see a water sort of dock situation covered in ice and snow. Yes. There's a big ice island full of seagulls out there, which I vowed to rule before I leave here. Become emperor of? Yeah, I'll tell them. I'll show them who's boss. We have dominion over the beasts of the field.

Do we not? Yeah, right? Whatever happened to that? Yeah, so it is cold here. And then I'm going to Chicago. What I plan to do in Chicago, I think, is just kidnap anyone I see who looks foreign. because I understand that's a thing to do there. That's one of the tourist attractions.

It's been very scary there. It's been very, very much up. And in Evanston, everywhere, I mean, it's been very terrible. They have, I think, moved on to somewhere else now or something. I don't know. It's really dependent. But didn't they, like, promise to be back? I'm sure.

It's very scary and terrible. Well, that's, so is there anything you want to do actually while you're there? Or you're kind of going to hold up in your hotel or what do you want to do? I do not. I'm definitely holding up in the hotel today. day. I'm having a hotel room vacation today. That sounds great. You've erected a tent in your hotel room and you're you're cooking smores on a fireplace, I guess like a, yeah, like a on a fireplace. Yeah, fireplace that you construct. I made a fireplace in here. Yeah. It's not

hard to do. You just get some cardboard. I mean, if you don't want it to be permanent, yeah, exactly. In Chicago, I do know that I would like to go to the movies and see the new Ryan Johnson Knives Out movie. I saw the other night and it's very enjoyable. Yeah, I heard it was fun. But other than that, I don't really have any plans. It's tough for me when it is cold like this because it makes you not want to go to a lot of places. But it also is really nice to be cozy during that and just not do anything.

It is. Look at the snow and just the end of your blankets. I like be cozy. Do you have a hat box that you travel with? I just noticed how your hat is shaped so nicely that you're wearing a baseball cap, but it's just very nice. I do have hat boxes for like costume hats and stuff like that, but like hard cases that I will, if I have to, it will bring that. But usually I find a way to artfully pack them in my suitcase so they don't get smushed.

Nice. And do you have a big suitcase? I have a medium suitcase for this. Okay. So it's bigger than a long time. Bigger than a carry on. But a lot of the venues have laundry services. Oh, how does that work?

We've, yeah, where did we mainly? do, I don't remember doing laundry when we were on tour. No, but the last one, I feel like wherever Twin Peaks was is where I did laundry all night. Did you do it at the hotel? I did it at the hotel, yeah. You can go downstairs and get exactly $10 in quarters, which is what it takes to do. Yeah. Two loads or something.

Ten fucking dollars. Yeah. A lot of these rock venues will have, because they have touring bands coming through all the time, They have washer dryers in there. So I've done laundry on the road twice now. That's great. Yeah. That's so convenient.

It's very convenient. Because you don't eat up in a whole day. Isn't that convenient for you? So you don't stink like B.O. Yeah, isn't that special? We have to take a break at this point. I'm pretty sure. But I was doing the churchwoman.

Oh, you can do it when we come back. Okay. Well, we come back. More of Paul's Churchwoman. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, you, you listening. Are you still hunting for that perfect Christmas gift? A digital frame from Aora frames will make it look like you had it planned all along. You can upload unlimited photos and videos to your aura frame.

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They're remarkable? What? Isn't that remarkable? Instead of special. Oh, churchwoman. And isn't that remarkable? And aren't those remarkable? Beelzebub.

Who could it be? Beelzebub? Big reverb. If you got cast on S&L and I'm still holding out hope for you, Paul. Yeah. And you debuted the... I still have a grudge against Lauren Michaels.

Don't forget. That's right. I'm picking up the Mark Maren Grudge. Oh, you're just picking up Mark's grudge. Yeah. And you... He surely has to be done with it by now. If you came to table read with churchwoman,

where it was just that character, like your first week of employment. and you were and everyone knew you were doing it of like oh this is a terrible idea but it's funny just the same way that we view it yeah could it get on the show I don't know how is it a terrible idea well I mean it's like I mean it's not a terrible idea I think to do a meta thing like that on SNL where it's an off brand version of one of their most famous characters from a while ago, I think they should do it. Oh, I thought you said the original idea is terrible. No, no, no, no. You're saying to, oh, yes, yes, yes. I think, well, that is funny.

I don't know if it could get on. I don't know if it could get on. Yeah. I bet Lauren would not allow it. I wonder if you could slip it in as a part of an update segment. It would have to, they would make it so that it has to end with. You're just doing church lady. Yeah, exactly. There's got to be a voice of reason in all of the. those sketches. Exactly. I would say, no, it can't end that way. And then it would be worth getting fired to try to make that happen. And try to get people behind it too. What you do, no, listen, he's right. Is you, you let it be put in the script. You let it happen at dress. And then on the show, you like physically shut the person up who's supposed to be saying. Oh, well, that I, I don't think

I would go that far because that's, that's, that's, that's, well, it's assault. Well, it's assault. And I would get arrested. Yeah. Do you think you would get arrested or just fired? Well, I would get fired. And that's the thing. I wouldn't want to do that because it would be, that's a, that's a guaranteed firing, whereas pushing for the pure ending of just ending it like a church lady sketch and really

fighting for that would get me like sort of shadow band. Like I couldn't get anything on. I wouldn't be in any sketches. Right. And then it would be like daring me to quit kind of. That's, that's, it would be like slow horses. Such a good term for what happens to certain SNL performers when they fall out of favor, but they're still on the show, shadow banning. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, yeah. Yeah, it's like, if you don't like it, you can quit. I don't know. No, no opinion. Don't want to piss off the SNL elite. I don't know anything about that. I don't know anything about that.

The SN Illuminati. Hey, guys, I have a, I had an interaction with someone that I found cure. that I wanted to do. Is this one of Scott's curious interactions? Yeah. Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme. So I was in an office building and I parked on the very bottom level, level four. Oh.

And I went into the elevator room and there was an older woman there. And she was waiting for the elevator and it appeared she had been waiting for a while. And we waited like. 60 seconds and then she glanced over at me and gave me like a kind of look. Elevators, am I right? Yeah, and much to my chagrin, I engaged. And I spoke and I said, yeah, I mean, when you're this far down,

it takes a long time or something like that. Worst mistake in my life, she then... What's your social security done there? Will you marry me? Speaking of which, by the way, sidebar, my mother has been scammed again. No. What happened? They called as Verizon.

That's not cool. This is getting, this is so predatory, I hate it. She swears she didn't give them any information and yet somehow they stole thousands of dollars from two different bank accounts. How did they do it? Christ, because she gave them information. Yeah, yeah. So anyway. Oh, my God.

So. Are you able to get it back in that situation? I think the banks, like, were alerted to it. They put a hold on it. I don't know. I haven't, this was just a couple of days ago, so I don't have the update because it's the weekend. It's the freaking weekend, baby. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. So, so then I'm talking to this older woman and I say, yeah, it takes a long time to get down here. And she then went into a monologue. about a parking lot that she parked in and a very specific Ralph's. This was on the West Side, which I don't know all that well. She's like, you know the Ralphs over by, you know,

26th or what, you know, and I just kind of went, uh, uh-huh, uh-huh. Okay. Where the old MTV building was. Um, door, elevator doors open. There's already a gentleman in there who's standing pretty much where the door opening is. He doesn't move back. Oh.

And by the way, it's not a square space. It is a rectangular where it's one of the deeper elevators. Plenty of room to move back. He doesn't move back. She gets into the elevator, like talking to me, she kind of steps back in backwards, stands next to him where there is no room for me to get in. And it's blocking me.

I then, in order not to be impolite, have to like sort of scoot in and be nose to nose with her. She will not move back. And she's still talking about this, this interaction that she had in a, in a parking lot. Because she's talking, you don't have a chance to say, excuse me.

Not really. Yeah, she gets a fuck out of my way. She's on, out of my breath. She's on a, like, continuous monologue. Step out of my breath. The door opens on P3. someone else needs to get in

she will not move wow and I at that point I say I cut her off and I just go pardon me and I move to the back

yeah she won't move for this person neither of them will that person has to scooch in between them crazy

just crazy stuff right am I that's the worst than ever happened to this is so it is so crazy sometimes the situation

to get in you know in an elevator I the other day I went to one of the hotels and I was waiting for the elevator for a long time. It was a elevator with a lot of high floors.

And so it's like one bank, you have to go to a specific bank of elevators if you want to get to these certain floors. And so I'm waiting and these four women get off the elevator and I'm standing to the side waiting for them to get off. And they get off in such a way,

where they all get off and right in front of the elevator and just stand there. And I'm like, hey. Hey! And the door starts to close and they start to walk away. And then one of them just like looked at me like,

what? So I stick my fucking foot in there. What am I, Indiana Jones? Throw me the whip. My car. Let me the whip. It is weird that people that were not all, completely cognizant of elevator etiquette.

I know. By the way, it's not even etiquette. It's just like basic. Common sense. People have to get on. You got off. People have to get on.

Yeah. The, oh, one thing about an elevator. I did want to say the woman like shot me a nasty look when she got off the elevator. Didn't say goodbye or anything like that.

Just shot me a nasty look like what? You don't like my story? And she got off. um i i did uh sometimes when i get things when i when i am interacted with in that way it's very easy for me to just be like what i did have an i did have an elevator interaction with uh when i was staying at a hotel recently um where i was very proud of myself because every once in a while you're not acting your best

and then you realize oh shit I'm a public person that some people know yeah you can't you can't do that so so I had a good one where I'm not that oh I'm behaving I'm a nice person I don't want to be rude to others

oh no someone might see me and that's all I want to be and then they'll know that I'm that way no but you don't let them like you don't know you don't want to seem self-involved not not rude just self-involved right so yes yes so like I had a nice interaction where

someone came to pick up our bellman came to pick up our luggage on the carts and I was like helping the person out and like then one of the housekeepers got onto our elevator and I was like you know opening the door and blocking

doing everything to like you know instead of just sitting there and like going this is your hotel you figure it out so it was I was you lifted her over the threshold you put your coat over a And I was happy I did because the person alerted me when they dropped our luggage off at the car that they were a piss pig. Oh, shit, an alert. A piss pig?

That's actually next level. Oh, last night we were in Medford, Massachusetts. And after the show, Josh Gondelman, who's also on the tour. A delight. Because he's from that area as soon as a lot of people that came to the show. And he said, oh, two friends of mine wanted me to tell you that they're pissed pigs. And I said, I'm sorry that you had to say that. Yeah, it's tough.

That's a tough one. To all you piss pigs out there, first of all, of course we love you. And we still don't understand why you chose that name. No, but we stand by you. We stand by you. I would have said something better, like little freedom cuties or something. Yeah. Yeah, it's unfair for you.

Just because you chose this name doesn't make it fair. for you to make other people say it other people who are embarrassed but that's the thing about democracy which is so wonderful even though we live in a freedom system of checks and balances yeah democracy rules sometimes and i wish there was more of a ranked choice vote and dick and dictatorship rules thank you paul that was really intimidating did you actually hit did you actually hit a cough button when you coughed i've been taking my volume down whenever i cough yes Wow, that is considerate. Does it go down on your recording as well?

Yes. Wow. Let's hope so. Yes. By the way, I'm on a new medication, which appears to be working. And it makes you cough? It's curtailing the cough. Are you saying you're on a new drug?

Because you've had a long-term cough. Two months now. And I've had to record so many episodes, and it's difficult to speak for much longer than 60 to 90 seconds. without having a cough. But now I actually feel much better. Thanks for asking. I did. I did ask.

And yet I'm being punished. She did. I didn't. Lauren, what you doing? I received my call time for tomorrow. What is that call time? It's 6.30 and it's an hour away. So.

Oof. To the magoof. That's rough stuff. I've been working at 5.30 almost every day. Wow. And it's been a lot. I've been working really hard. And this is weird because it's a multi-camp.

No, it's not. So the audience has to, yeah, I know. I know, I'm sorry. I thought you actually were confused. But don't freak everyone out. It's not. The audience is there at 4 a.m. Yeah, and they're clapping until we get there.

They don't stop. That is one thing that's really... The warm-up guy says they're coming very soon. It's very unfortunate for the female. performers is you have to get there so much earlier because there's so much hair and makeup. It's such a bummer. I do. And it's, I'm really one of the only girls to be seen most of the time. And, um, oh, there's secret girls. 30 minutes after me. In every scene, there's, um, I can't wait to watch the show.

Girls behind secret doors. I have to say, I'm really excited about my show. And I, I know it's going to be a while till people can watch it, but I'm really excited. It's been really, really fun. That's great. We haven't talked about it on the show. Yeah. Yeah. Um, it's great. And the cast is so fun. with Brian Possein and John Ross Bowie and Kevin Sussman. We're all having lots of laughs every day. How many episodes? One? 10, actually, 10 times what you suggested.

Out of zero, bitch. Yeah. 10 times what you suggested. And it's been really cool. You know, it's like it's, it's sci-fi comedy. Science and fiction? I love some fun things happening in every episode. Psychiatric fiction?

Yeah. Mm-hmm. It's couples therapy. but it's shrink yeah it's just shrink it's a shrink or shrinking oh that's the one based on timbalt's show tim's was shrink yes right what if we add ing does that give us deniability what if we subtract the timbolts but add ing we love timbolts we love timbolts don't we folks don't we folks he's So funny folks, don't you love them? Guys, would you like to hear tales of riding on a tour bus?

Yes. Yes. Okay. Once upon time. So I was told early on we're looking for volunteers for the top bunks. Oh, no. Because, of course, no one wants the top bunk. And why is that?

Would you get more car sick being up there? It's like less center of gravity. It is less center of gravity. There is more of a sway up there. for sure. But also you have to climb up to get into it. And climb down in order to get out,

I would imagine, unless they've figured out some sort of technology like a slide. Just roll up. No, there's no slide. There's no slide. It's not like a shoots and ladders situation. What if you just rolled out like a Costco hot dog and just plopped onto the ground every morning?

I'd be dead. So what you know about the hot dogs? My neck would snap. I know a hot dog's roll on a silver thing. There were a couple times where we were weaving around so much

that I thought what if I get thrown out of this fucking thing and then crush all my bones so you you volunteered

for the top yeah I just got it out of the way I was like all right I'll do it because you figured you would be assigned off

yeah really yeah I know because they they're changing the linens on the bus today so we could ostensibly

have a whole new configuration but the problem is that you know I thought like hey man I'm fucking 57 years old you're making me climb up this thing but then I realized actually I'm not the oldest

person on this bus we're all kind of up there except for Josh Gondelman is I think maybe the youngest person on the bus and he and I are across from each other on the top bunks do you hold hands ever

straddling the length of the bus not yet not yet that's not yet That's not a bad idea to literally reach across the aisle and hold hands. Yeah. But yeah, it's a drag. Does anyone get to take poops on the bus? I know that's verboten on most buses. It is verboten.

So they said, don't do it. So if you really have to, you have to say, can we please go to a rest stop? The first time I ever did it, I was told not to do that. And then after that, now everybody knows. Maybe Josh Gondeman was told. did it in the in the toilet and then everyone said don't do that again no no no no they preemptively said you cannot do this they said the first time i did it they said don't do that the first time i sorry the first time i rode on a tour bus i was i was told beforehand that time did you take a shake hey by the way

yeah mega diarrhea yeah they said don't have mega diarrhea on the bus do that in the buckies bathroom buckies what's buckies road trip Stop. Oh, wow. It does sound like, is it a real place? Yeah, it's like a famous, um, road trip stop. I can't remember it's on the East Coast, I want to say, like Pennsylvania or some shit. But it's like, um, it's like a huge 7-Eleven type store, but it's huge.

And they have all sorts of. Oh. I think that, and I've talked about the big yellow house before where they, they, you know, price out how much you're going to pay for dinner based on your weight. They weigh everyone. Yes. Oh, my God. I passed it again, the one in Santa Barbara.

It's still a thing? No, no, it's closed. And the sign has it... Oh, he passed by it again. I thought, Lauren, did you think I passed it, like in terms of my weight was acceptable? No, I thought he was driving by it and it was still there. No, it's... All right, you can eat here.

It's been closed and the sign has faded very much so, but you can still read it, the big yellow house. And I was like, how long has this been closed? And I looked it up. And it's now been 25 years. or something like that where this eyesore has been just allowed to remain up there

of a faded sign that had... It's like it would be like you would weigh yourself when you come in and then weigh yourself when you leave

and like you pay based on that. No, it was something to the effect of like a penny per pound or five cents a pound or so I can't remember

what it was. That's disturbing. Whatever, whatever like $10 would be if you weighed 200 pounds. crazy something like that but it was a weird what a weird concept well because it was all family style so what they would do is is they would just like deliver plates of food on to the table i said oh as if that made sense to me i was like oh have you ever dined this here before at the big yellow

house have i because we do everything family style ah get on the scale family what if they brought that back to other fucking pretentious restaurants that act like they invented the concept. Have you dined with us before? We do think it's a little different here. What we do is rather than you have your own fucking meal like you want, you have to order too much food and not really like it that much. And every plate, even though smaller, costs the same as a normal restaurant.

In the past, I've been very upset about tapas or family style kind of things. And I more recent years have found that to be very first. fun. It depends on the place. If I like it. Well, and I like to have a hand and, you know,

I want everyone to agree that they like the things we're ordering. That's important. But see, that's another thing about it is that I, I feel like it's been done so much that I'm tired of it. And I hate the, the fucking discussion that you have to have beforehand.

And, you know, and the waiter always tells you to order too, too many things. Yeah. Yeah. And then you feel like, well,

I have to take a, fucking bite of that, I guess. To please this guy. Yeah. To please this guy. Well, because otherwise it's just a waste, you know. Like, don't listen to him. He's trying to upsell you.

I went into a place the other. We could always add more later. I went into a place the other day that was that, that they said, have you been with us before? And we both had, or at least Kulap had. So it was like, oh, yeah. Sexually? Yes. So it was like, yes, yes.

And so we have some disturbing news to tell you. Actually, it was where. we all went after what musical? Oh, we saw corn musical. It was where, it was, it was that restaurant that we all went to. Shucked. That's what it was called. Yes. So we went there. You also went to a corn restaurant? No, no, no. No deer. They served normal food. It was made out of corn. It wasn't shaped like corn. It was like those high hotels. But, but, but the, the, the person said, have you been here before when we said, yes. and then it's just a regular menu and I was then I was left thinking

what could the person possibly have been trying to you know like tell us about what their specials maybe or like what they're known for? Here's what I think. Here's what I think. Yeah. I think it's gone back around

where now ordering your own meal is now the weird thing. Oh yeah. Yeah. Have you, have you dined with us before? Okay, it's not like tapas. What you do is you pick one thing and you eat that thing. That is kind of true. It has, I feel like a lot of the places I go to, I'm sharing with my friends and we're not. And then I'm kind of like, can I get a steak? Like, I want to eat a steak. But then it's like, but are we all going to get an entree? And then so you have to kind of go like, are we doing that? Are we doing sharing or what we do? You know what I mean? I might start just saying like, you guys get whatever you want. I'm going to get my own thing. I don't want to be part of this experiment anymore. You should do that because you know. what you don't have to live like that no no you don't have to suffer you should know i don't i don't have to suffer even though you have strict rules about breakfast for dinner you can do whatever you want regarding topis look i don't have strict rules about it i just don't like it anymore yeah

that's all uh you know what i is my favorite breakfast thing i think i've even talked about this but right now these like crepes that you just throw on the microwave and they're just fucking and good. Do you take them out ever? No, you just throw them in there and they just get stuck to the walls and you're just like, this is cool. They're like this Belgian brand that you get in the freezer section and they're just so good. And I could really sit there all day and just eat great. What are they filled with honey?

I just do butter and syrup. I'm not really into like filling craps with like savory stuff. And I don't, and I found in recent years I'm allergic to hazelnut. Oh, so I can't really do the Nutella thing. I have like a, my tongue gets really itchy. Oh, no. When I eat, he's enough. Yeah.

That sucks. I'm sorry. My mom had a, it's really, really hard. My mom had a crepe maker when we were a kid, and so she would make crepes. Oh, oh, that I should have that. Well, in eighth grade, in eighth grade, we got into my friends and I all made crepes all the time. We'd go to each other's houses and just make crepes. And we went to the place in Chicago called, oh, maybe it was high school.

we went by ourselves to this restaurant called La Crapery. Then we were so excited. We were just on a crepe kick. You know, they... And we were making them and we were good at making them, but I haven't tried in recent years. They have really good crepes at the farmer's market by the Grove. Oh, yeah.

That one restaurant, yeah. Okay, those are our crepe recommendations. We do have to take a crepe. I mean, a break. But seriously, we're going to eat crepes during the break. Do you miss that feeling when you finally get the gang together for a night of gaming, and it just hits? Well, that's Ark Raiders.

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Can you hear those sirens? Yeah, I can. Boy, they're here to lock me up for what I'm wearing. I can get you out of this situation. On bail? Or... Even better. I won't have to go to fashion jail in the first place?

Full exoneration. Oh, a pardon? If you listen to me. Fashion pardon? You'll get a fashion pardon. Okay, I'm listening. It starts like this. Cold mornings, holiday plans.

This is when you need your wardrobe to just work. That's why I'm all about for you, quince. They make it easy to look sharp, feel good, and find gifts that last. I have gotten some quince. I'm not wearing it right now, which is why I think the fashion police are here. Yeah, you should be wearing it. I will say quince makes the essentials that every guy needs, right? Mongolian cashmere sweaters for only, guess how much? $50? Yeah, exactly. $50. I got it. Italian wool coats that look and feel designer and denim and chinos that fit just right. Here's the thing. Each piece is made from premium materials by

trusted factories that meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship and ethical production. By cutting out middlemen and traditional markups, Quince delivers the same quality as luxury brands at, if you're a math fan, a fraction of the price. Do you mean like five-fourths where it costs more? No, no, no, the good one. Oh, the good fractions, okay. It's everything you actually want to wear built to hold up season after season, after season, after season.

I got some stuff from Quince, Paul. You're going to be very proud of me. I got the Mongolian Kashmir. crew neck sweater. Nice. I'm a big fan of that. It's great for when you want to feel cozy, but still look, you know, at your best. I wear it all the time.

And honestly, I would wear it even more if my wife weren't borrowing it all the time. Girl, I hear you. My wife keeps stealing my quince items. I have a wonderful soft cashmere hoodie that I got from them. Oh. And she has claimed it as her own, which is honestly very aggravating. My wife has also been going into our bank accounts and stealing money. from my own bank account that I have kept secret.

And I'm really concerned about that. My wife has literally taken food out of my mouth. Oh, no. Like, I put a forkful of food on my mouth and she's taking it out of it. That's the right amount as far as I'm concerned. A forkful. That's how I eat food by the forkful. Exactly.

Anyway, get your wardrobe sorted and your gift list handled with Quince. Don't wait. Go to quince.com slash freedom for free shipping on your order and 365. day returns. Now available in Canada, too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash freedom. Free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash freedom. And we're back. Oh, boy, oh, boy, we are. Boy, oh, boy, is it time?

Oh, boy, oh, boy. Is it time for something that we do? really most of the time in the back third of our episodes I think that it is that time because we have reached the back third and tradition must be respected Do you think when we made freedom we did it with the intention

of having three sections? I think that's why we called it freedom, isn't it? I mean... I don't think so. I think it has... Yeah, we're like, what's unique about our podcast?

Well, we have three sections. It's pretty cool that that worked out like that. Yeah. There's kind of one section for each of us. It kind of proves that God has a plan. When I was working at a Baker Square, I...

Restaurant Roundup. Restaurant Roundup. I must admit that I was surprised that pies are cut into five slices. You must admit that. I guess I would have said six if I had to guess. I would have thought six, too. But five is actually nice because six is probably too thin of a slice for when you go to a restaurant and get a slice of pie. You know what?

I was in charge of slicing the cake last night and getting it plated and served. And I realized, I don't think I've ever. At our party. I don't, I don't think I've ever done that. And I actually really liked doing it. And I was like, I kind of liked being in charge in that way. Or it was like, we're slicing. I'm creating a little cute plate with the fork and the napkin.

You've never sliced a cake before. I don't think it's ever been my responsibility at a party to get it all out there. You know, there's always somebody who's like really eager to just kind of do that. And you just go like, you do that. Or someone who's eager to not do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I think I'm into it.

I think I want to do it again. I have only ever cut a pie into three pieces. Three pieces. Because I believe in peace. Whoa. So I make the piece symbol with every pie that I cut. Wouldn't that be... And then I refuse to let people have a piece because they would be disturbing the piece.

Wouldn't that be four pieces because of the... It would be two tiny pieces at the bottom than two giant pieces because of a little... Oh, can I just add an addendum? Yeah. I've cut cake at my own home. You shut up. I've cut a cake at my home for my family or for a small group. How generous have you?

I've never cut one for a large group. It's not to say, yeah. I just want to be clear because people are going to do it for a large group. She's never cut a cake. She's a little. People are like, well, who's the Lord lives in a castle? She's a pillow princess. She lives with a castle.

Oh, Queen Lauren never held a life before for a cake. Um, well, it's time for what we in the back third of every episode call a threacher. We hear there. And, um... And Scott, tell us about this one for fuck's sake. Well, look, we, I, Paul says that we tried this during quarantine. And so we're going to try it again because we're on Zoom this time. And this is something called menacing phone.

And it was submitted by Camden Brazil. Thank you. you Camden, Brazil. Yeah, you may be saying to yourself, I don't have enough information in order to play this just by the title. Well, what works out about this is I have a description of how to play right underneath the title. So if you're one of the people saying that, why don't you shut up? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

And now this is how we do it. It's Friday night. Two people play a scene. And at any time, the third person can call one of the members in the scene and give them menacing information about the scene or the other player that impacts the scene, e.g., is he really who he says he is? You get the idea. Honestly, I could have used a little more information, but that's all she or he wrote. Does that give us enough information? Basically, the way we're going to do this over Zoom is we will put ourselves on mute.

our microphones on mute when we call the caller yes when the caller will do that when they call the other person yes yes it's okay and and I would assume you can call either of us when you're the caller oh yeah I guess so yeah you don't have to call just one person that's fun how does that make sense dollars and well you can hang up with one person and call the other person do you get it now what are we saying Let's just say I have other questions. What are we saying? What are we saying?

I mean, this is like... Did you get a new call time? Yeah. It's a concern I can't give to you right now on this phone call. Understood. Understood. Just run me through it. Why don't get mad at me?

Why don't, Lauren, you and I be in the scene and Paul will do what he does best, which is call and talk shit about people? Okay. And am I supposed to be saying some of the stuff? No, we're just, well, whenever, whenever you get a call, pick it up and then he'll tell you what impacts the scene. Okay, great. Yeah. Yeah. And I'll do the same. Okay. All right. I'm going radio silent. Okay. Ding dong.

Hey. One second. Yeah. One second. No, I'm in already. I'm in. I'm inside. What's going on? What's going on? Um, sorry. I just. Your door was a jar, and I feared the worst for you. I'm sorry. Sorry. No, it's been a while since I've seen you, so I didn't, I wanted to open the door and kind of, you know, start.

That's nice. That's so nice of you. Thank you so much. Well, anyway, I'm inside, and it's been far too long since I've seen you. And I really just kind of wanted to check in with you because I know the last time we spoke, we didn't leave things in such a great play. and, uh, yeah, I think you got to hold that up to your ear, dear. Only I am. And, uh, I know we didn't leave things in such a, such a great place and.

Yeah, no, we didn't. I just, no, we didn't leave things in the best place. Okay. Yeah. So I, I just wanted to reach out and, and see whether you were ready to apologize or not. Is that something that you're willing to do right now or make him roll. Are you? sleeves because I think he's got... Are you still in the same emotional? I'm open to apologizing. Just can you... I'm sorry, can you just roll up your sleeves a little bit?

Roll up my sleeve? Yeah, I mean, they're already up. Oh, my God. There's so much hair. Oh, yeah. Oh, your nails are so... Yeah, I went through puberty. Yellow.

Last night. Ew. And it just, like, I don't know. It's, there's hair everywhere, including places that I don't want to roll up my clothing to show you. Show them some garlic. I'd prefer to roll it down. Hey, check out this pasta I made.

It's got a lot of good ingredients. Oh. Garlic, bacon. Oh, like a carbonara? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, sure. Here's the garlic.

Oh, you didn't put it into the pasta already? Just some what I was going to smash it on top. I'm so sorry. That's your vampires. Okay. Do you want to do that before? Oh, you know what? Why did you give it to me if you were going to smash on?

I didn't even show you that. Yeah. Go ahead. I mean, you know what, I'm not really hungry. Showing some silver. I actually just came over here to check. to check in on your emotional stick. Do you like my necklace? Um, no.

It's silver. Yeah, that's why I don't like it. I'm a werewolf. I'm a teen wolf, which is... Oh, got it. Oh, wait. I'm supposed to guess something? I didn't know that was part of it. I don't think you were supposed to guess something. But you did. But you did. Wow. Okay. We had a few technical difficulties at the beginning of that, but I think it was Well, it was my lack of understanding that I thought I was supposed to mute but have you on speaker so people could hear you, but then obviously they can hear you because you're on your microphone. Yes, that's correct. But I think we worked it out by the end. We really did.

Yeah. Lauren, do you want to call, be the caller now or do you feel comfortable enough to do that? I do want to be the caller. Okay, and you can call either of us, unlike Paul. Okay. I was about to call you. You were? What happened?

Well, you guessed that you were a were a were a were a were a were a werewolf. Sorry, let's start our scene. Okay, here we go. This elevator's taking a long time. Listen to that clock. Oh, my gosh. Why do they have a grandfather clock in an elevator? It's like they could fit another person in here.

I know. What drives me crazy is you can hear it ticking and it's still so far away. I know. I know. Bong. One time I was in this elevator. It must be one o'clock. Oh, yeah.

You know that supermarket. Um, it's at 31st and, uh, Osprey. I'm just going to stop you right, right there and let you know that I know the location of any supermarket. And so yes, of course I know. Great. So you know how they have five levels of parking. Yeah. And if you're on the fifth level.

Yeah. That's all the way down at the bottom. You need to. And so it takes so long for the elevator to get there. And they don't have a grandfather clock. What they have is. I'm sorry. This is taking so long that I just...

You don't want to hear my elevator story? I need to relieve myself, so... Oh, you can't do that here? What are you doing? Sorry, I'm ruining your shoes, but... My shoes! I really needed to do that. They're open toe!

Yeah, oh, I guess I'm ruining your feet then more than your actual shoes. My feet are ruined! I'm so sorry. But, I mean, that's the way the cookie crumbles. You should poop on my shoes. Anyway, continue your story. Oh, yeah. Speaking of crumbled cookies, get a load of this.

How do you like that on your shoes? You just growled over them. Well, just hold still. Is anything coming out? Okay. All right. Yeah, you're a little poo shy. You should blow diarrhea on his feet.

How shy do I? Okay, sorry, but I need to blow diarrhea all over you. No, that's not mega, is it? Yeah, mega diarrhea. Jesus Christ. Sorry about that. That's made me realize I'm ashamed of my actions, and I apologize to you. It's no problem.

I mean, look, when you're trapped in an elevator. Oh, wait, excuse me. I just remembered I have to do this before we go to the elevator. Look, I, it's. It's fine by me. I don't mind necessarily, but there is one thing. When you see people throw up, you throw up. I hope it's something gross.

When you see people throw up, you throw up. Oh, God, when I see people throw up, it makes me throw up. This is like that episode of it just like that. Anytime I hear it just like that, those words in that order, it makes me throw up. It's why I don't have an HBO Maxx. count. Oh, I feel better. I had some weird pasta carbonara this morning without garlic.

And it's all on your shoes, I think. Tell him you're in love with him. So I apologize for that. God, when are we going to reach our floor? There's no need to apologize because I'm in love with you. Something about the way you've been pissing, shitting, and throwing up. right has really awakened something in me i i have to tell you something i've always felt the same way about you i know we just met each other on this elevator but i hey i just met you

and this is crazy it's crazy but you pissed on my shoes so call me maybe maybe i mean i think i might call you yeah i mean would you call me your wife i'm getting down on one knee Dear stranger, you've made me so happy And the only way you could make me happier Is to become my spouse That's your favorite show This is exactly like Love is Blind Which is my favorite show

You know how many people are still together There was just a divorce announced Oh no Of two people who had I think they had a kid together And they just divorced But I mean the The ratio of people who have stayed

together is so slim but it's such a good show and this reminds me of it. Oh, I would have thought all of them would have stayed together forever. Yeah, this is, it's, but, but this reminds me of it and I, I, I, I have to say yes. Oh, this is really wonderful. What wonderful news. You actually thought he was someone else. Yeah, it is. I mean, I can't wait to tell my grandparents. I can't wait to tell their grandparents. Can I stop you right there? Yeah. Um, this is embarrassing, but I thought you were someone else. I but we just met how would you think that I I was someone else someone that you someone else you've never met do you not know how I thought you were someone else works but I know the other person no you and then I thought you were that person you said stranger that I've never met before earlier my friend's name is stranger asshole oh wait wait wait my friend's name is stranger things Derek stranger things? Yes. I know him too.

You do? We're twins. That's how you know him? Yes. That's how I know him. That's our relationship. You met at being twins? Yes. I met him like five minutes after he was born. Oh, this is really wonderful. It really is. Now I'm going to ask him to marry me and then we will be in-laws.

Oh, that would be such a... Tell him what your real name is. A wonderful relationship. My last name, by the way, is things, obviously, but my name is where the wild. With the wild things? Yeah. And then comma R, because my first name is Richard. So.

Okay. So your name is Richard, where the wild things. Yeah. Okay. Mm-hmm. And your twin brother is named Derek Stranger. things. Yeah. Yeah. But Stranger is his middle name? Stranger is his

middle name or nickname. His because his middle name was Jeter. And he... Derek Jeter things? Derek Jeter things. And he got sick of everyone making fun of him for being

like Derek Jeter, the baseball player. So he changed it to Stranger. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Could you repeat that? I guess not. Oh, wait. No, I was talking. I was talking to have somebody in my head. Oh, someone...

But go ahead. What were you saying? Oh, well, okay. Everyone made fun of him for being the big... I have to go. This scene is over. Oh, bye. Hey, that was fun.

I don't think we have time for a third. I think we're good. No, it's too bad. It's too bad that time elapses the way that it does. Yeah. Stop all the clocks. Silence all the phones. Yep.

Scott, when does this episode come out? When are people hearing this? December 18th. Well, I want to tell you what, this Sunday, December 21st, I'm doing Varietopia at Laudrum. It's going to be a fun holiday show. We got great guests, great music. It's going to be a blast. And that is also being live streamed.

So if you can't be there in person, get the live stream, which is available for a little while after it streams live. So you don't have to watch it that very night. Just buy the ticket and come and join us whenever you wish. We also have a lot of Thriotopia.com Yes. We have a lot of Freedom merch.

We still have Freedom Christmas cards. We have our new t-shirts with the corporate lady How to Talk and the I Work Here T-shirts. You can get those at

kinshipgoods.com slash freedom, I believe. And then Paul and I are starting Monday of next week we're doing the best of comedy bang bang, which is a lot like,

what's wrong? Just thinking about it. What are you thinking about? How fun it's going to be. How fun it's going to be. How fun it's going to be. Yeah, exactly. It's like listening to freedom but without Lauren.

So not as good, but. Not as good. Interesting. But I think people will still enjoy it. It's four episodes over the next two weeks on Mondays and Thursdays. How many episodes are we counting down the best? How many episodes are we counting down? 14 or 15.

I haven't figured it out at this point. Wow. It's very exciting. Very exciting stuff. and Paul and I do a lot of bits and a lot of material over those if you've never listened to them. We're just being silly and goofing around.

They're fun. But relaying important information as well. Yes, of course. We're like Schoolhouse Rock. Who's calling you now? Apparently, my wife hasn't looked at the calendar and doesn't realize what I'm doing.

Oh, God. Jesus Christ. We have to go, but we love you. Lauren, anything you want to plug? Nope. Okay. See you on Christmas. Happy holidays.

See you on Christmas. Okay. Bye. Bye. Oh, ho. Oh. Oh. Want to listen to your favorite Lemonada shows without the ads?

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