Threedom - Taboo in a Koo Koo Roo

Episode Date: April 17, 2025

Paul, Scott, and Lauren discuss Shakespeare, missing the bus, and different word pronunciations before playing Taboo Word. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Listen ad-free and unlock bi-weekly THREEMIUMS on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, is this an okay time? It's your girl Dylan Mulvaney and I am inviting you to my weekly cocktail party and my brand new podcast, The Dylan Hour, brought to you by Lemonada Media. Life is stressful and there is so much darkness in the world, I think we could all use a little bit of trans joy. So join me every week as I interview some of my favorite A-list celebrity friends and gurus and of course the dolls while we sip and spill the scalding hot tea. So put your worries aside and join me at the

Dylan hour. You can listen on Apple, YouTube DJ, a disc jockey. A DJ, DJ, there was a guy. In Philadelphia. It's such a funny term, disc jockey, isn't it? Like, oh, I'm like a jockey rides horses, but I ride these records instead. Exactly. Now does it make it sound cooler or stupider? Stupider.

But DJ has lasted the test of time, where DJ Khaled, you know what I mean? And there's no longer a height limit. Yeah. DJ Khaled, famously 4'2". Famously 4'2". DJ Khaled, another one. I'm 4'2". Anotherously 4'2". DJ Khaled, another one. I'm 4'2".

Another one. The things he would say in every song. I'm 4'2", another one. Not 4'3", baby. There was a DJ in Philly called Terry, I can't remember his last name, but his name was The Motor Mouth. The Motor Mouth.

It wasn't cloth? It was not cloth, but that's a good name. Terry Cloth here, the Motor Mouth. Terry, the Motor Mouth cloth. If you were like a drag queen who wore like all towels. Just like one towel. And like your hair is like in the shape of like a bouffant that looks like a wrapped towel. Your drag persona is, I just got out of the shower.

But his sort of catch phrase. A shower? The motor mouth? Yeah. No, it's nicephrase a shower the motormouth Motor mouth motor mouth would go That was this thing Faster than both of the way that both of you're doing it because it doesn't feel fast enough to be a motor You want it faster than that? Yeah, that was like

Slowing down. Oh, it was more like yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah faster than that. Yeah. Cause that was like, sounds like a motorcycle slowing down. Oh, it was more like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not, not, not quite yet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Hey, I'm the motor. Brother. You're doing a very slow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You are going super slow. It's almost, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's fast. Isn't it?

How fast, how much faster can you do? Nobody responded to my text. God damn it. That was like piercing. How fast how much faster? Hey, nobody responded to my No one responded to which text by the way, what did you send a lot of texts after i've gone to bed And then it feels like when I wake up This is not a criticism. This is no, he doesn't deserve a reply. You're telling on yourself No, this is merely me explaining. You're an man. Why I sometimes will not respond to your texts. I sent a text to the gang about the trailer that I saw for a Popeye horror movie.

Oh yes. Yes. Now Popeye, I believe Popeye has lapsed in the public domain so people can do whatever they want. Really? Not Popeye, not, when things lapse in the public domain, it's whatever version of it. So we can do like the original cartoon.

Yes. Yes. So there are certain things that were added to the Popeye mythos or whatever. So I could sell my Popeye drawings and just be like, I don't have to check. Depending on what year they're based on. If they're based on whatever.

The first year. Yes. You could have Popeye and Steamboat Willie having a holy war. And they could be doing anything. Well, that's what you want to do. Do you wish you could draw like that? I'd like to draw Popeye sucking off Steamboat Willie. Well, don't. I'd like to see you try honestly. And I was I was surprised because they, you know, in the description, he's excited. They mentioned characters named Olive Oil and Castor Oil. I was like, wait, who's Castor? That's Olive Oil's brother. Wow. And so I started watching the trailer. And at one

point you see a little old man who's like a fisherman and he's sitting in a boat. He's got a corn cob pipe sticking out of his mouth. And then gradually as the trailer goes on, you realize this is supposed to be fucking Popeye. They don't say the word Popeye, but it's called shiver me timbers. And it does have a voice over the tunnel going, blow me down. Oh my god. Trying to draw the suspenders right now. Okay, just focusing on the details. Yeah. Well, that's wonderful, Scott. And Paul, it's also wonderful. And I'm sorry I didn't reply to that.

It's okay. Sorry I didn't reply. I wasn't actually upset. I'm glad. It was something to talk about. Yeah. Let's give him something to talk about. Talk about love.

A little mystery to figure out. I remember that video. That was when Bonnie Rae was having like a resurgence. She was on the charts. And was the movie something to talk about starring Julia Roberts? I think so. No, there was a movie called, let's give them something to talk about. And that song was huge.

All right, I finished. It was called something to talk about, I think. Okay. Here we go. Jesus Christ. All right, so that's Steamboat Willie? On the right is Steamboat Willie. That's tough. Okay. Do we want to put this on the Instagram?

I got the suspenders. Here I got the suspenders. See the little suspenders and the little pants. Something to talk about was a 1995 movie. His head is very sort of dome-like. Okay. was a 1995 movie. His head is very, it's very sort of dome-like. Okay, that was his other ear, but let me. Right.

Is that better? Can I just say, Looking at this movie is something to talk about. Yeah. Now, it's a comedy drama film from 1995, but when you see a cast like this, I go, I gotta watch that. I can't see who's in it.

Who's in it. Yeah, you're holding your phone really far away and it's a tiny, tiny page. Is that Dennis Quaid? We got Dennis Quaid, we got Kira Sedgewick, we got Geno Rollins, how do you say it? Geno Rollins. Yeah. That old guy whose name I can't remember and Julia Roberts. That old guy whose name I can't remember, wait, is that Robert Duvall?

Yes. Robert Duvall's in that movie? Yeah. But then you go, I gotta watch that. That old guy whose name I can't remember. Wait, is that Robert Duvall? Yes. Robert Duvall's in that movie? But then you go, I gotta watch that. That's a good cast. Sure. Okay, do you wanna take a picture of it or what? I'm not gonna post that. I don't wanna get arrested.

Dennis Quaid. You think this would get you arrested. I do. Dennis Quaid also appeared in the video of the song. Let's give him something to talk about. Wow, wow. What was he doing? A little dance.

He was being like a sexy dude. Do do do do do do do. I, you know, I'd like to watch that movie and see what that's all about. You know what? Let's do it for Scott Eyes and Scene. I would like you to watch it and then give us a report on it.

I don't want to. Well, you know, it's not like a written report. You just tell us. An oral report. I will. Oral report. I will. I vow today I will do that someday.

Remember Oral Roberts? Did he die? No. Hope so. Do you remember Moral Oral? What was that? Some cartoon? That was Dino's cartoon I wrote an episode.

That's right. With circular sort of things like oval people. Is that what they looked like? Oval people. Climation. Oh no, I'm mixing it up with something else. What are the oval people? What was that cartoon where it was like... Oral Roberts died in 2009. Very oval heads. At 91. Can you imagine if he was still alive?

Very oval heads. Do you know what I'm talking about? Like sideways? Like Hey Arnold? No, it was like vertical oval heads, blue kind of... Just look up vertical oval heads, and I'm sure the first thing that pops up. Great idea. And then a blue. vertical oval heads plus a blue. Plus a blue.

Hey Arnold did pop up as an answer, but it's not correct. Of course. Did you put some word like cartoon in there? I did. See, this is cheating. Could you imagine if you saw somebody who looked like Hey Arnold in real life? I don't even know what Hey Arnold looks like. Oh, Moral Oral is not at all what I thought it was.

A football. Yeah. But if you saw somebody with a football-shaped head sideways. I think it would be odd, but I think, you know what? I would probably give, allow them a little grace and I would. Oh, you're so wonderful. I wouldn't, I wouldn't. I'd be sickened.

I'd say you should be burned to death. Would you burn anyone alive? Like think of all the people you hate in the world. I'd like to burn alive. Like people who are doing our world. There's people where I wouldn't be mad if that happened to them. Do I have to stick around for it? But I'd still feel kind of sad that that was how that happened.

No, you could light the match, throw it into their car and walk away. Honestly, now that we're talking about this, it's so hideous. I know. I actually backed off it too. I was like, that's actually so sad. He's someone I despise. I feel like there's got to be like some Denzel Washington movie where he does that. He like, someone's strapped to a car and he lights a match, throws it over his shoulder and walks away as the car explodes and they burned it down. I don't think of that as a Denzel thing. I feel like Man on Fire is what I'm thinking of.

Because it literally has a man on fire. Tony Scott movies where he was like always killing people. Have you seen those like Instagram interviews that he's been doing lately? Denzel? There's that one clip that's so charming. No, I wish you were my therapist. I already am. Yeah.

He's funny. Yeah. Denzel is funny. It was all very, look it up. Sit down, shut up. Denzel interview therapist. It's great. Denzel interview therapist.

Yeah, here's my advice. Sit down, shut up, listen or whatever. Denzel interview. Yeah, here's my advice. Sit down. Shut up. Listen or whatever. Yeah Denzel interview therapist really is a great. Yeah Here's what comes up first Denzel Washington advice to young actors interview. Yes. Yeah. All right It's gotta be it. It is it's gotta be has to be found it I just want to push doors exactly what you have done. What advice do you have? Learn to act on stage. Don't rely on social media. Put it down, turn it off, shut up, be quiet, learn, read.

Relax, get better. First part of your life you learn, second part of your life you earn, third part of your life you return. Can you be my therapist? I already am. I am. I am. I love it. And I heard today that he's in Othello on Broadway

and he's the most excited he's ever been in his entire career of anything. So he's very excited. That's awesome. I love that. Yeah, I do too. What a fresh actor. We should do Shakespeare together.

Nope. Can you imagine? I don't want to do that. Am I included just the two of you? I think you We should do Shakespeare together. Nope. Could you imagine? Why? I don't want to do that. Why? Am I included just the two of you? I think you two should do it and I'll watch. Why? Why would you want to be in it? Why don't you want to be in it?

Why don't you join us? You don't want to be one of the two gentlemen in Verona? What about two gentlemen in Verona, a lady in a pizza place? I just don't really want to be in Shakespeare. I really don't think it's, I don't think I'm right for it. I think you're actually great for it. Really? Why? You have

I think I think you just have a look and a countenance that would look good. You look like a man dressed as a woman. Well, OK, I got the part. No, I think you would be great at Shakespeare, actually, because you think so, too. You have a very expressive face. And that helps. All right. You need that because nobody understands what you're saying.

Yeah, so I gotta be like, I'm grossed out. So it's like, she's sad. She's happy. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I'm interested. We should do Shakespeare in the Park.

We pick a park. Griffith Park. Griffith Park. Shakespeare in the Griffith Park. Yeah. And we should do a play where we all switch off roles and it's just the three of us in it. And we switch off roles and we... Why are we switching off roles?

Because there's usually 20 people in each play. Oh, but we're not trading with each other. It's just the three of us. What is the smallest cast in all of Shakespeare? That's a good question. I think it should be all Lemonada podcast hosts. And it's a Lemonada event. Lemonada presents Shakespeare and Griffith Park.

Two Gentlemen is often regarded as one of Shakespeare's weakest plays. It has the smallest named cast of any play by Shakespeare. Why is that weak? And it has how many people is it? Well, they're strength in numbers. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen. Actually, The Outlaws is one, so that's a bunch of people.

So it's probably about 20 people. The Outlaws. Why don't we just do The Outlaws? Let's do The Outlaws. Is that a play? No, but we should make it a play. We can write it. It's the opposite of The In-laws.

Yes. Where it's, oh wait, isn't this a movie you were in? I was in The Outlaws, yes. Oh, that's right. Were you zoning out so hard that you couldn't even? Yeah, well, no, I heard you talking about it, but I just wasn't going to say I was in the outlaws, yes. Oh, that's right. Were you zoning out so hard that you couldn't even? Yeah, well, no, I heard you talking about it, but I just wasn't going to say I was in that because I was letting you two have a moment.

OK. Oh, thank you. You knew we'd get to it eventually. I knew it would come to you, my IMDB. Because I started going like, oh, we should make it, we should write it. It'll be the outlaws. It'll be about in-laws who are actually outlaws. And then I realized this is a movie that she's in. That's the thing. Yeah.

I'm in it. Did that come out? Oh yeah. It was number one on Netflix, baby. Was it really? And everyone saw it. Everyone remembers it. Everyone saw it and everyone loved it.

And my part was great and it was perfect. And that's all you need to know. I think you would be great in Midsummer. Wow. Okay. You know what? I love all these compliments and I'm excited to try it. I think you would be great in Midsommar. Wow.

Okay. You know what? I love all these compliments and I'm excited to try it. The movie Midsommar? Yeah. I think you'd be great as one of the old people they throw off a cliff. My favorite part in Midsommar is when the old people jump off the cliff and the tourists get freaked out.

And then one of the guys who lives on the island turns to the guy who brought them there and goes, you didn't tell them? You didn't tell them about all this weird shit we do? No, you would be great as one of the like Lysandre or something. No, no, no, that's Lysander is who I'm thinking of. What do you wanna play? You'd be great as Calavan.

I'd be great as Hamlet's mom? Yeah, Hamlet's mom. You'd be great as Hermia. Oh. Yes, it was Helena. To the lovers in Midsommar. Wow, that'd be fun. Midsommar, it's a pretty fun one.

That's a fun one. What if we mashed up Midsommar with Midsommar Night's Dream? Midsummer, it's a pretty fun one. That's a fun one. What if we mashed up Midsommar with Midsommar Night's Dream? Midsommar Night's Dream, where old people are just jumping to their deaths during the entire play. And somebody gets burned alive. Yeah, at the end. Thank God. I'm warming up to the idea.

No better than that. Nick Bottom is burned alive at the end for daring to turn into a donkey. Yeah. Yeah. How dare you? They put the guy in a bear suit and they burn him alive. So the donkey gets burned.

Let's do this. I've never seen Midsummer Night's Dream. I've never seen any production of it or film of it. I think that's probably the most accessible of... Because it's very funny, the story is great. It's got a sort of magical element to it. Yeah, it's got magic in it, it's got fairies, it's got a guy of magical element to it. Yeah, it's got magic in it. It's got fairies. It's got a guy turns into a donkey.

What is the closest Shakespeare to Fast and Furious? Wow. OK, well, King Lear is pretty furious. He's like out in the rain shouting. It's not that fast, though. He's an old man. He is an old man. So who's the fastest?

What if Vin Diesel in a film? Fastest Shakespearean character. Oh, wait, the greggy. I mean, if we use chat GPT, it probably would be able to answer. No, he couldn't trust it. I don't know. I don't use it. While it's subjective, Beatrice, for much ado about nothing, is often considered one of the fastest talking and most witty Shakespearean characters.

Why is that subjective? Because I think it depends on how fast the actor who talks. You can say that about any of them though. Yeah, I saw Chuck Schorro. I felt it wouldn't slow down. John Machida Jr. To me or not to me that is the question. This is a return to one of our...

Is that from Micro Machines guy? Whether he's nobler than mine, some of the things that I've heard of. Oh my God, let's read Shakespeare really fast. I'm bad, I'm bad, you know what, you know what, I'm bad. I'm bad, I'm bad, you know what, you know what, I'm bad. I'm bad, I'm bad, you know what, you know what, I'm bad. I'm bad, I'm bad, you know what, I'm bad. I'm bad, I'm bad, you know what, I'm bad. I'm bad, I'm bad, you know what, I'm bad. I'm bad, I'm bad, you know what, I'm bad. I'm bad, I'm bad, you know what, I'm bad. I'm bad, I'm bad, you know what, I'm bad. returned to whatever. Is that from Micro Machines guy? Whether he's nobler than mine to suffer the slings and arrows out of his range of fortune.

Oh my God, let's read Shakespeare really fast. Okay, okay. I bet, I bet, you know what, you know what, show on. Shakespearean solilo. I'm still annoyed at that. The idea that they thought that was worth something, that that was interesting in any way. To be or not to be monologue is what I searched.

To be or not to be that is the question. Whether she's nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune or to take arms against the sea of troubles and by opposing them to die is to sleep no more and to the by asleep to say we and the heart naked the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to to the consummation developed to be wished

to die to sleep to sleep pretend to dream I that zest the rub for in that sleep of death that what dreams may come when we have shuffled of all this murder coil please just give us pause as we respect the West's calamity of so long life for when we wear bare the whips and scorns of time, the oppressors wrong, the proud man's contumely, the pangs of disprays love, the laws delay,

the insolence of us, us and the spurns, the patient merit of the unworthy takes when he himself questions us quite as makes with the bare bodkin whether we should move far to false buyer to grunt and be sweat under the weary life of that syndrome of swimming after death. The undiscovered country from the who's born, no traveler returns, puzzles the will,

and makes us rather bear those ills we have than fly into the others that we know of, those conscious things that make powers of us all, and thus detonate really over the logistically, or the pale of black has stopped, and expresses the great Python moment with this regard to their current orai, and losing with action. I think it'd be fun to see a whole play done like that and it would be over in 20 minutes. Yeah, it'd be great. That turned into an auction kind of. Do you want to do it? Yeah, I'll do it. No, I'm good She should have died here after there would have been a time for such word tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty

face from day to day the last syllable of recorded time and all our yesterdays have lighted fools this way to dusty death Out out brief candle life is but a walking shadow the poor player the stress and Francis our upon the stage thinness Heard no more does a tale told by an idiot full of sound and fury signifying nothing Wow All right, I got one. All right, what do you got? Okay. This is pretty slow so far.

Yeah. I didn't say I had it. Do his soliloquy start with one second? One second. Uh. Uh, to be or not to be? Uh. If you saw Shakespeare play

and someone was doing that the entire time, like trying to make it more natural by going, uh, to be. Not to be. Uh. All right. What do you got? OK, here we go. Darkness falls across the land that midnight or close to hand creatures crawling search of blood to terrorize those neighborhood and whoever who somewhere shall be found without the soul forgetting down with stand to face the hounds of hell and inside a corpse of shell i'm gonna throw you tonight

thrill through a thriller i'm gonna throw you tonight thriller night throw oh darling oh baby i'm gonna throw you tonight thriller who babe thriller night that's not part of the monologue the fallis inches in the air the funka 40 000 years and grizzly ghouls from every tumor closing in to steal your doom and though you fight to stay alive your body starts to shiver for no one really kind of resist the evil of the thriller wow i love shakes the evil of the thriller One of the greatest

The funk of Yep Vincent price As I've said before and Vincent price tape that I loved to watch as a child. What was he doing in it? It was just some scary stories. He was telling them? He set them up and then they would play some sort of... Why was six afraid of seven?

Because seven, eight... I can't do Vincent Price. He's got such a distinctive voice, but I can't quite... Danny Gold always had... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dead on Vincent Price. Yeah. Chris Tallman also does a good Vincent Price. Really? He's got such a distinctive voice, but I can't quite... Fenix Gold always had... dead on... Vincent Price. Yeah.

Chris Tallman also does a good Vincent Price. Really? Well, um... Speaking of... Yes? The Immortal Bard. Yes. I auditioned for the acting department of Allentown College when I was a senior in high school.

And I did... I had to do a comedic and a dramatic monologue. As well? No song, no song. For my comedic, I wrote a thing, and it was probably the first time I ever wrote and performed comedy. For the dramatic monologue, I did to be or not to be.

Oh, that's a high bar. That retrospect like what? Yeah, we probably didn't know what to do. I did not know what to do. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were very they were very kind about it. I think you have to be for because I remember I had to audition for the School of the Arts and everything. I'm 16 or whatever. I just feel like you have to have some grace

where you're like, all of these kids suck. But at least this one said things loudly. Yeah. You know what I mean? No, it's important to be loud in the theater. Yeah. I did Banished for my dramatic, from Romeo and Juliet. The fuck? Oh. Where he's like, banished?

Banished? Cause you can't say banished. Cause it has to fit the meter the meter. Yes banished But that was my most successful banished banished. I'll knock you upon your head If you dare to stay awake, then your soul I will to take everybody knows that you are not it Everybody knows we have to take a break. We do. Paul, Paul, come here. No, I'm right here.

I'm so frightened. I'm right here. What's the matter? Have you ever shopped? Sit down, sit down. It's OK. Here, have a glass of milk. Finish it. All the way. Okay. Good boy. Hey guys, guys, if you've ever shopped online, you know that the real reason most people abandon their cards isn't because they don't want the items anymore, but because they don't

want to get up and go get their card. Okay. Part of the reason why some businesses are so successful is because they allow customers to save their information, making checkouts fast and pain free. I keep my wallet in a locked safe. And if I'm ever like shopping online and suddenly they go, Oh, what's your credit card? I'm like, I don't want to open that safe. Well, you might. It's a seven number combination. Scott, you might've seen a purple button at checkout with the word shop sticking out

amongst all the other payment options. I have seen this button. That's Shopify's shop pay. And there's a reason so many businesses sell with it. Now Shopify doesn't just make the buying experience better for customers. They're also the experts in helping small businesses grow big and complete sales,

leading to more businesses going. There you have it. That sound is the sound of a cash register. Shopify is the commerce platform behind 10% of all e-commerce in the US, from household names like Mattel and Gymshark to brands just getting started. Shopify helps business owners

tackle all their important tasks in one place, from inventory to payments to analytics and more. Let me tell you something that Shopify also does. Please. They make the marketing minefield easy with built-in tools for running social media and email campaigns so you can find new customers. And guess what? You're probably like, oh, yeah, or I'm going to lose them, right? No, you're gonna keep them. My grandpa got his leg blown off in the marketing minefield.

I'm so sorry. How's he doing now? He's passed away. Oh, but this was a long time ago? No, it was a couple days ago. So when you say he got his leg blown off, that was just like part of the story. He actually died from it.

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Well, do you like being bugged by humans? Oh, sure. I mean, if I'm sure, but I don't like being bugged by bugs. No bugs. Ask me, ask me. Hey, Paul, do you like being bugged? No. By humans? No. By bugs? No. Yeah, no one does.

And when bugs do show up, I mean, you want them gone and you want them gone fast. It's not like, oh, bugs hang out awhile. No, you want them out of your house. Oh no. I did say that to one bug. Wait, was it Ant Man? Yes.

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slash threedom or download the Acorns app to get started. Paid non-client endorsement compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns, tier one compensation provided. Investing involves risk. Acorns advisors LLC and SEC registered investment investment advisor view important disclosures at acorns.com slash freedom. Amen. And we're back and off your phone. What? I so scary. Lauren is listening to doughboys. You called out Mitch for being on his phone. It was so it was such a wonderful moment for you. It was but you know, here's the thing. And I know that sometimes I'm on my phone

and people like to say that that was ironic. Oh Lord poop. I used to be a podcast king. He has a ringtone that is on that any time someone goes by his ring camera. It's his ring camera sound, yeah. It makes a noise. It's a beautiful noise though.

And he looks at it. You have to have been in a beautiful noise. But imagine if I had sound alerts on that were going off the entire time. I think he needs to stop that. And this is a call to action. And hopefully by this time he has. I listened to it most recent episode and it was still a conversation. But how far ahead are they?

That's a good question. Yeah. By the way, I had another I had a guest on one of my other shows recently who had the the Paul F. Tompkins thing where they were constantly looking at their watch and I kept being like, oh, they have to get out of here. They have to get out of here. And then I realized at the end of it, no, they're just getting messages on there.

I stopped wearing the watch because it was bugging me. I don't like that it tells you a message. I didn't like the- The buzzing on your wrist. I have an Apple Watch and I like it for working out and certain things. But even with working out, I don't want to get the text message while I'm in my class. I have my phone in my bag and then I have my watch on to keep track of my workout and stuff. And then I'm seeing a message and I'm thinking about that now.

I'm trying to be in my own zone. Be in my own world. I'm thinking about my sweat droplets. Yeah. That's so cute that you guys are working out. You could do that too. Oh yeah, I could. That's right.

I have to prolong my life. You simply must. Watching these ER episodes, I'm like, imagining the day where I'm in the hospital and they're all saying goodbye to me. What? I gotta extend this by a few more years. That's what you're watching?

Then you really need to exercise if that's what you're thinking when you watch that. What the ER? And you're picturing it being you? Every single case. Every single case is like, no, honestly, like, oh shit, this father who just got into an accident when a drunk driver t-boned them and his wife dies, I'm like, oh shit, what if that's me? Well, exercise wouldn't help you.

No, the other guy drinks and drive. No, I'm saying don't do that. No, I'm not the, I'm in- Scott, it's illegal. Okay, I won't. Shit. Have you gotten to the episode where Eric LaSalle does the yes, that's first episode

They're all in the pilot. All those things are in from the pilot Wow, they had to have them ready for the second episode Sure exactly because they ran the pilot and then they're like are people gonna like it? I've only seen the first two episodes now but I Think that that show was really in almost gonna be the show that a doctor wakes up in the first scene of every episode because it's happened in the first two. Dr. Green you need to wake up and then it's Sherry Stringfield in the next episode. I was like what if they just did that every single episode

for 15 years. I thought that was interesting when they did that though because I didn't know that doctors slept at the hospital. Sherry Stringfield was the one who quit acting, right? Well, she quit that show before her contract was over and then she came back to it. Years later. But she might have quit acting. I have no idea. Which one was she? She was blonde. She was on NYPD Blue for a little while. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was blonde. I believe she was in a relationship with Mark. Anthony Edwards. Anthony Edwards got married to, ran off with his old friend. He was in the movie, Miracle Mile with Merri- Merri- Merri-

Merri- Merri- Merri- Merri- Merri- Merri- Merri- Merri-

Merri- Merri- Merri- Merri- Merri- Merri- Merri- Merri- Merri- Merri- Merri- Yeah. Watching it again, I'm like, this guy's a pro. He's so good. He's great. In other words, he's great. Can I make a note? Half the time I'm looking at my phone, I'm looking up something you're

talking about. Okay. What were you just looking at? That's a good note. Sherri Stringfield. Oh, okay. What did you... I didn't know who that was. What did you come to learn about Sherri Stringfield? She...

I... She's an American actress? I learned her age and I learned... Love it. ...what she looks like. Personal life. And then I was trying to remember... I always go down to personal life. I always go to controversy. I learned her age and I learned what she looks like. And then I was trying to remember. I always go down to personal life.

I don't go to controversy. She was married years ago. She has two kids and you know. Skip down to arrest and imprisonment. She left the show twice. Imprisonment, clap denier. She left the show twice, that's interesting. Yes.

First during the third season in 1986 and again in 2005 after which she moved back to New York and pursued teaching and other acting roles Why would you leave and I mean I respect whatever she was always fast I just like wow how interesting like it's not that's just interesting I was always fascinated by the people who play like nurses and office staff on that role because they only ever would have like three lines an episode and they were always like oh it's door three yeah you know room three or whatever and i was like it's such a cushy job yeah you're getting paid but they're never exploring your

character golden handcuffs as they say but i mean are they considered series regulars i think they're no i think they're recurring yeah so. So they're, they're getting, they're, they're just popping in for a day here and there. I think some of them, some of them probably end up like having a contract. I hope so. It's like Star Trek has people like that too. Yeah. That every once in a while they get a couple lines or something. Yeah.

Tig is so hugely in Star Trek now. I haven't watched all her new, her stuff, but she's in like the spin- more for something with like Who are the actors Holly Hunter? What and I've not heard anything about another guy Holly Hunter Wow I don't know if this is public and maybe we should delete it you promise. Oh Wait, no Starfleet Academy taps Academy Award winning actress Holly Hunter. Okay, great So it's an upcoming show, Starfleet Academy. Is that the one that Tony is working on?

Probably. Wow. Who was the, there's another famous male actor. At least another one. I know there's somebody on it where you're like, he's on that? Wow. Clark Gable. It's like a really cool cast.

No, Tig's been on that for like a while now. She was on Discovery. Now she's on this new one. But I thought this was like a completely different time period, but maybe I'm wrong. Who knows? At this point, like Star Trek has done such crazy shit. It wouldn't surprise me. They could do anything. They're phasers. Oh, set this on stun. How would it feel being zapped by a phaser that's set on stun. What is that? Is that like someone like poking you hard enough to knock you out or what? You know what I mean?

Or like doing a billy club on the back of your head or something. That's a good question. What does it feel like to be shot? You know what I mean? Yes I do. Is it like a hard thing or is it just an energy comes over to you and stuns you,

meaning it drains you. Do you just go to sleep? Yeah, you know what I mean? Or is it like someone whacking you in the back of the head with a blackjack and going, ow! How long are you stunned? Yeah, stunned. Ooh, I'm stunned.

When I think of stunned, I think of like, oh God, I can't see for a second, I'm seeing stars. But it is good that they said stun instead of knockout, set phasers to knockout, set phasers to KO. Yeah, I wanna to say it's um, no it's like someone really famous. This is exciting stuff. Paul Giamatti or something. It might be Paul Giamatti because it says was Paul Giamatti. Yeah, he is in it. Great. Giamatti, we love you. I'm like that's pretty cool. Giamatti may be one of the coolest actors alive. Absolutely, I love him. Oh man the holdovers so fantastic. Holdovers amazing. I gotta re-watch that. I really gotta re-watch that. He was in that trash can or

whatever on Chris Gethard shows. He was on a Chris Gethard show? Yeah. In a trash can? Yeah. Somebody told a story about him online that when he won I guess he won an Emmy for something. And he went to In-N-Out? For billions, this is before In-N-Out, before he went to In-N-Out. Okay. He was like at some party, you know, after party.

I think it was an Oscar that he took to In-N-Out. All right, yeah. Wasn't it? Yeah. Did he win the Oscar? I think so. Who knows? It was either an Emmy or an Oscar.

And someone at this party, the person who was telling the story asked him, you know, if I give you $5, will you let me hold? And so they, he did. And, uh, you know, the person got a picture and then handed the feedback and then he held out his hand to like, and this person, I think it was a woman gave him the $5 and he said, pleasure doing business with you. I feel like we've talked about this. But love it. Still a good story. I forgot what he said. I'm going to're doing business with you. I feel like we've talked about this. We have. Not that long ago. But you know what? But love it.

Still a good story. He's not won the Academy Award. I forgot where it was going and I forgot what he said. I'm gonna tell that story every four episodes. Good. He's not won the Academy Award, he's won the Golden Globe. The Golden Globe.

For the Holdovers. He's the Golden Globe. Holdovers is such a good, I've seen it twice now. It just feels like a cozy holiday film. I look forward to watching it again. Yes. I've only seen it once. I've only seen it once too.

And the soundtrack is really wonderful. The way it looks is very pleasing to my eyes. I'd love to film a movie in the winter. Wouldn't it be nice? Yeah. Between Two Ferns, winter edition. Sure. They're begging for a sequel.

Everyone's asking. Why didn't you? Why didn't you? They keep saying. Do they want to explore the game show more? I think it's a game show based sequel. Game show based. What was the funny thing that you said that Zach wouldn't let me put in? Oh, that, uh, it was, we do have to take away 500 points from whatever it was.

Abraham Lincoln was in fact assassinated. Something like that. I forget exactly what it was, but Zach was like, no, it's very funny, but no. From the South, you know. Yeah. Very sensitive about all that stuff. One of the best hat wearers. 100%.

Zach? Yeah. I actually don't picture him in a hat. He looks great in a hat. We're talking about Abraham Lincoln, of course. I know, I know. But I am trying to picture Zach in various hats. Isn't it weird that in Lincoln the movie they never go into the first time?

Like, you would think it would be like all those other biopics where it's like the first time he sees the tall hat and goes like, what if this was like three inches higher? I used to think he could walk out bad to the bone. Abraham Abraham Lincoln already a very tall man. Yeah. Why add to this? But then I thought it wouldn't look right. If he had like a shorter hat on, right. It makes sense somehow. It's like, yeah, who else?

You know, like on a short person, it's gonna look like he's the mad hatter. If you're a short guy, you can't wear a super tall hat if you're a little guy. But then he's also trying to like elongate his face with that beard and no mustache. What is this guy's deal? He's weird.

He's a weird guy. He's a weird guy. Lauren, are you looking up Abraham Lincoln? No, I was looking up ways to... Ways to get out of podcasts? Is this house an escape room? Have you ever done an escape room? No, no.

I've done a couple. Tell us about your experience. In detail, leave nothing out. Well, I don't remember. And do they know you've escaped? Do they put out an APB? They do. I got a certificate at the end.

The first one was with a big group of people. This was gotta be 12 years ago. It has to be. And at least 11. And if not 10. It was downtown. I don't know how it ended up happening, to be honest. It was so random.

It was like a lot of improvisers, but I really don't know why we were doing that. And it was fun, but it was like so many people where some of them were very good at puzzles that I just sort of was able to kind of post a little bit. Then I did another one with wild horses when we were on tour and I believe we were in Philadelphia. And we to one because we had like a weird amount of time to kill and Mary loves escape rooms. And so, and she hasn't done one in a long time I don't think, but at the time she was

very into them. This is again probably. What does she like most about them solving puzzles or getting out of a room? I think it's the puzzles. And that one was pretty fun because there's only four of us. So we all had to participate heavily and we solved it. We solved it. What were some of the puzzles? Do you remember? I really don't remember. I really don't remember. Yeah. Do you remember like there being a lock involved? I'm sure there was a lock and key, a combination. A mysterious letter. Yeah. I will say like,

I'm not too invested personally in the lore of escape rooms. I don't really care. I can get excited about a game and I can get excited about like the competitiveness of it, but yeah, it's not something I'm seeking. The thing about that is I think I would enjoy the sort of lore of it if they really fucking did it up. But I feel like that's one of those things where it's very easy to sort of lore of it if they really fucking did it up. But I feel like that's one of those things where it's very easy to sort of half ass it and. Yeah, and I feel like a lot of times the buildings

that they're in are really janky. Yeah. So you're walking in this like really strange like abandoned office building and then you're in one room and you're like, okay. There's a Victrola here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, yeah.

I really get into the mindset of it. I used to live in the heart of Hollywood and Used to live over by the old earwolf studios. Yes, I did you did and then when the The neighborhood started changing and one of the it's got a Ticket for going through a stop sign going to your place. I'm sorry. Yeah, I think about it They really every time I get off on Sunset and the 101 And I pass through and I go like this is, I think about it literally every time I get off on sunset and the 101. You shouldn't have done that. And I pass through and I go like, this is where I got that ticket. And I did not even know the cop was behind me. I got out of the car and was walking to

your place and they're like, hey, and I turned around and lights are flashing. There's an intersection near where I live now, which is, it's one of those really wide intersections where it's a four way and all the corners are very far apart from each other. So it is often like a, you got to, you got to really be on the honor system of like, yes, you were here before I was and you go ahead. And so one time I was driving through it and it was my turn. It's my turn. I started to go and this woman starts honking at me and like she's cursing. She goes to the intersection and I was like, all right. And I went through, I get a text a minute later from my friend, Todd Cooper, who said, you were right. And that lady was wrong. And so now I think about that every time.

You're at that intersection. I think about him texting me. So when the neighborhood started to like get a little nicer, but it's still not great. Ashton Kutcher opened a restaurant at the end of my street, the bottom of the street. Did he open it with Mike Boogie from Big Brother? Maybe.

Who Dr. Will has a restraining order against. Who's Dr. Will? Dr. Will has a restraining order. And the person I used to work with at Chin Chin? No one knows what you're talking about. They were all investors in these restaurants. This is called the Geisha House. Yes. And so it's been, oh my God, Ashton Kutcher got a restaurant here. And then I'll like start, that started a whole thing of like new bars and stuff being opened up. And they all closed down. They all closed down within a year that place, the geisha house was an escape room. Great.

Can you fucking imagine? A geisha themed escape room. Like to open a restaurant is such a huge undertaking. Yeah. And then it just goes away. Yeah, I know. And that's like a lot of them. That's, that's really hard. It's crazy when a restaurant has been around for longer than 10 years, even. Yeah. But like, it's,

it's always so comforting a place that's been there since the twenties or something. Although there was that one that just in downtown that the, uh, the workers tried to unionize and the, the descendants of the original owner who loved his employees just like went out and sold it. Wow. They were like, fuck this. Yeah.

And Coolop and I went there once and we ordered and realized the subway was shutting down. We thought the subway would be until probably midnight or something. No, it shuts down at 10. So you're going to eat there and then go get subs? Go get subs? Go get subs? That doesn're going to eat there and then go get subs? Go get the- Go get the- Go get the-

Go get subs? And we had to say to our waiter, we didn't realize the subway, the last train is in 15 minutes, we have to go. And the waiter was nice enough to say like, I'll cancel your order. Hmm. What?

So you were hell bent on taking the subway back home? We had no other way to get home. This is pre-Uber? Pre-Uber. Yeah, this is when we first started dating. And so it was just like, oh, I looked, I don't even know how I looked it up because this is pre-iPhone's and stuff too. I must have.

You probably had the paper schedule with you. Yeah, probably. Oh man, I was thinking about that today of when I worked at Olive Garden and I had to move back in with my parents in after college for six months and I had to take the bus to Olive Garden. How, like, you'd get there to the bus station and there was a printed schedule and it was always like 1237, 103. Yeah. It was all these very specific times, but occasionally you'd get there like right as 1237 comes around and you'd see the bus already like lit. Like they got there a little bit early

and they're already gone. And so your only recourse, you couldn't just wait another 25 minutes. Your only recourse is to try to run as fast as you can to get to the bus before it stops again, or just go like, well, I guess I'm gonna walk to work along the path of the bus. And eventually one of these buses will like come by

and get me. Yeah. Yeah. So you would either be like, you guys are really bored by this. I'm not really bored by it. I was going along with it. I think at a certain point. I think at a certain point. No, at a certain point I started to go,

yeah, that's what happens when you take the bus. You were a babysitter and then a movie star. I took the bus. You can't even relate to me taking the bus. I took the bus and the train my whole life in a city what is very public transportation. But my point is, is this was Orange County and it was not very, like,

there weren't a million different ways to get on. I guess I have to say welcome to the OC bitch. It's a good point. Oh yeah. Is Schwartz and Sandy's still open? I think it's gone. I think it closed.

That's maybe what I was talking about. What's Schwartz and Sandy's? The Tom Sandoval restaurant. Oh no no. Oh yeah they closed. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

They in fact, okay so they had a big sign that everyone the few times I went there every time We would go there there'd be a million people taking pictures in front of the sign and none of them going into the restaurant They have covered it with a like locked thing And Yeah, anyway, it's even though it's so it's like you can't take pictures even though you can't take me But also there I think they're afraid of someone stealing the sign. Well though it's closed. So it's like, you can't take pictures even though. You can't take, but also there, I think they're afraid of someone stealing the sign. Well, that's what I would do.

That's why I asked. I was gonna go steal a sign. Yeah. But that place is cursed, I think. First of all, it's very weird. That location. That location is cursed. No restaurants have ever succeeded there.

The place that was there was there for a really long time, but since that place closed. And then there was a, and there was a middle place. It's an an awkward spot though because you kind of forget that it's even over there. It's hidden, it's too hidden. Yeah yeah yeah. Then the Mexican place moved. Yeah yeah yeah. It moved into a better location. That's right. But I just don't see it being a successful restaurant. It's weird that they picked there and they picked it only because it was cheaper. It's always wild when there's a cursed location like that where you just see business after business. I think the only way that you can solve that is by putting in a big chain restaurant.

Like there was a place by like that by my house that was a different independent restaurant and it would just turn over every couple of years and you'd see like a new restaurant there and it would be like and no one would ever go to them because it's like I don't trust that place. And the only thing they could do was turn it into like a you are just gazing off. I'm listening to you. I'm listening to you. You caught me looking at you. No, because I'm thinking about a storefront that was constantly changing. I'm listening to you. But I was thinking about what they sold.

I'm listening to you. And I'm thinking about this trend from the nineties. I'm listening to you. Scott, Scott, we're both wrapped. Yeah, just keep telling me. This is what we wanna hear. Okay, well it finally turned into a Wintchell's Donuts. There we go. Big success.

There we go, see? Thank you, and I was listening. God bless the USA. I was thinking about a storefront that in a store in Evanston, it was called Perenials, I believe. And they used to say, I used to love to go there as a kid with my mom.

And the style was all very delicate, perfumey, Victorian sort of, I think the nineties there, I was just thinking there's like this period where that was kind of in, like where like a girl, a teen girl's bedroom would be like very floral with like white and like- Right, this is the nineties, wes with like a lot of different colors but no like Victorian like pastels yeah like very very like like like yes it was a

moment and that store was really cute but I guess they wouldn't really cut the mustard nowadays although with the 90s coming back, maybe it would be into that. You got to cut that mustard. You got to cut it. Hey, hey, you know, we okay. I've been thinking about this since we recorded that ad that mentioned data and data. Yeah. How was that allowed? That word you can pronounce two ways? Well, that's anytime you mispronounce a word, shouldn't you be able to say, Oh, that's just how I pronounce it. Because look at data and data. Yeah. You know what I mean? I mean, that's anytime you mispronounce a word, shouldn't you be able to say, Oh, that's just how I pronounce it. Because look at data and data. Yeah. You know what I mean?

I mean, there's a few words like that and it's fucking ridiculous. Like pickle and pickle. Exactly. Exactly. Pickle and pickle. What are some of the biggest ones? Data and data pickle and pickle do and do that. There's another one that's as famous as data and data. I remember there was a once a friend of mine who on an episode of Buffy, the vampire slayer, they, the word was integral. Yes. And one particular actor kept saying integral. Yes. And one particular actor kept saying integral. And this friend of mine was getting very upset while we were watching it, saying like, it's integral, idiot. It's integral. And I was like,

I think you can say it either way. And then I looked it up in the dictionary and I showed it to him and this person said, well, the dictionary is wrong. And stormed out of the. Did the dictionary have both? Yeah, it said both. Or I think that's when I struggle with reading where I often will say integral. I always say integral.

I think I like it. I like saying it that way better than saying it integral. Integral sounds almost like integrity. I think if you're saying it's an integral piece of this thing that we're doing, or you're saying it's an integral piece, I think integral, I would probably want to. I think that sounds a little bit... I feel like because it's related to integrity that it's important to it. It has to be there. I like to say integral. I said I said integral to my girlfriend

in high school and she gave me a big sloppy kiss. She did like a condescending little laugh. She did a condescending little laugh and said, it's integral. Come on, bitch. Fuck. How dare you? This was my first girlfriend who also. You didn't know how to react when she would say.

I was embarrassed. I was embarrassed when she did that. And then later I was mad. But she loaned me her copy of Clan of the Cave Bear. What? With the movie or the book? The book. With the caveat that this was a book that was very important to her and made her cry

and stuff like that. So I was reading this book like it was a deep, like serious book. Okay. And then like halfway through I was like, this is just a piece of shit. Yeah. And I breezed through it. And then what did you say? Did it make you cry? I said, yeah, I cried all over the place. I dropped it in the tub so it would look like I was crying.

But she was, she used to spray, when she would write me little notes, she would spray perfume on the note. I thought that was very hot. That's hot shit. It's hot shit. on the note. I thought that was very hot. That's hot shit. It's hot shit. Somebody up probably got a bill that smelled really good after bringing the mail next to her letter. She didn't mail it to me. Oh, she didn't mail it to you?

Oh, okay. Oh, my electric bill smells gorgeous. Hey, this electric bill is really hot. This will be a pleasure to pay. I love your cigarette. Do you say data or data? Well, at my house, we say data or data. Do you say data or data?

Data data or data? Do you say data or data data or data data data data? Well Do you say data or data? Data, data, data, data. Well, at my house we say data and for the longest time I thought paying a fortune on my monthly data plan was just normal. That was until I found out about Mint Mobile and their premium wireless plans that started just 15 bucks a month. Look, if you want reliable service, everyone wants that, right? At a truly unbeatable price mint mobile is absolutely worth trying

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Go to quince.com slash threedom for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order. Now how do we spell it? Of course, q u i n c e dot com slash freedom to get free shipping and 365 day returns quints dot com slash freedom. Hey Paul. Yeah. Hey, sorry, real quick. I just I got to I got gotta talk to a friend of mine

Okay, my friend Lily in Italy Okay Sexy See me be a chain molto equal or Uff, sempre un po' annoiata. Ti piacciono i colori delle città? Sì, mi piace molto i colori. Interessante. Ti piacciono i colori caldi o freddi? Mi piace, mi piace il colori freddi. Capisco. I understand.

The cold colors are very calm. Yes. Do you have a color? I understand. The colors can be really beautiful in the cities. All right. See you next time. Okay.

Bye Lily. See you. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Sorry. We just had to talk about colors for a second. Oh, that's okay.

Yeah. She sounds cool. I like cool colors. That's funny that you should say that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Where she live? She lives in Italy.

Where? Like where? What was that? Like a app or? That's Duolingo, dear. But you just just popped into a combo with her? That's one of the lessons. Oh, as you do a conversation with Never gotten that far.

Why does she say oof? Because she says I asked her how she is. She goes, oof. Sempre un po annoiato, which means I'm always a little bored. Wow. Always. This poor machine. Siempre un po' annoiato, which means I'm always a little bored. Oh no! Always! This poor machine! That's the character. That's her character.

She's like too cool for school. She's kind of cool. She's kind of like a Parker Posey in a 90s movie. I love that. I'm always a little bored. It's like, well, get out there and see what's going on. That's what I say. Yeah.

You're talking to somebody on the other side of the world. Yeah, that should be interesting. Did Lily ever explain what a fucking threacher is? Yeah, I don't think she knows what a Bustero is. It's a Bustero, yes. Oh, okay. A Bustero, of course, of course, yes, of course. Well, it's time to play one.

Yeah. And we're gonna play something called Taboo Word. Hmm. Oh, dear. This is where we improvise a scene, two of us decide on a Taboo Word, and we try to get the third player to say it. The third player will suggest a household item to start the scene.

On the subject of taboo, I could not remember Taboo's name from the Black Eyed Peas. Fantasy Island? Black Eyed Peas. Right. The other famous tattoo. Who are the most famous tattoos? Fantasy Island and Black Eyed Peas. All the things she said, all the things she said, running through my head, running through

my head, running through my head, running through my head. So tattoo from, or sorry, taboo from. Oh yeah, taboo, tattoo. Yeah. Which one, I saw one of them, and I've talked about this, I know, I saw one of them in a kookaroo. One of who?

The Black Eyed Peas. Okay. Honey. And he- You know it wasn't Fergie. It wasn't Fergie, it wasn't Will.i.am, it was the one with the long hair. That's Taboo. That's Taboo.

So I saw Taboo in a kookaroo. Taboo in a kookaroo? I mean, that sounds like a river. So Taboo in a kookaroo. I got a Google Taboo. And, uh, everyone... You simply have to. Behind the counter, they were all abuzz, and they said,

Hey man, love what you do. And he said, I'm just on my grind, man. And I also saw at the very same kookaroo, I used to love kookaroo. Apple the app. I did not see Apple the app. I saw Kim and Kelly deal eating lunch together and they'd held hands the entire time. Oh, how nice. The twins. Wow. Yeah. I didn't know they were twins. I believe or maybe they're not. I thought they were. But they are Wow. That's cute. I didn't know they were twins. I believe, or maybe they're not. I thought they were. But they are sisters. They are sisters, definitely.

Yeah. All right, taboo word. So the idea is two of us try to get one of us to say the taboo word. All right, so Paul, you and I will text a taboo word. You look like you're ready to text it. Yeah, I have my phone out. I have my phone out.

Ew, ew, ew, ew. I have my phone out. Ew, ew, ew, ew. Waiting on that text, brother. All right. It is sent. Yes, I got it. All right, now you, Lauren.

Household items, start the scene off. My TV remote is not working. Oh, is your TV working? Yes, it works great I couldn't help but overhear your problem Are you a little wager do you know? Hey, you just met him. He's just right. I expect wizards to be like Gandalf What are you doing in my home? I'm lost. Oh, well the door is over there.

Oh, okay, goodbye. Are you lost in the world? Can you help us with our problem though? Because we have... Maybe I am a wizard. Our TV remote won't work and we have all these apps that we want to use. What are all these things? They're apps. It's like ways to watch different shows. They're like streamers.

What are streamers? It's like channels. I don't think. What are the channels? You've never seen TV? No, I'm a wizard. Okay. What do you do for entertainment?

Spells. Okay. You just cast spells on people? Yeah. I make little pictures in the air. Oh, okay So not on other people it's not like you're cursing people for fun. Not for fun. Have you ever made anyone thinner? Well, honey like what what apps are you having trouble getting Netflix Peacock yeah, yeah, I mean apps are you having trouble getting? Netflix, Peacock. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I want to watch Severance, but what's that?

It's a it's a show about an office. Well, not really. It's an office workplace company. No, it's not at all. It's just that there's people who have an Indian Audi and they exist in two worlds. Like Billy Button. Yeah. I want to watch the morning show. Yeah, he just wants to watch that black one with the white picture on the, that one you can see right there.

Yeah. Yeah. What is that? Is that one of the famous channels you're talking about? Well, it's a fruit. You, you recognize it. What? What's that?

The app that you want to watch it on? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. What? I thought you were talking about a picture of a fruit that I have on the app of the. Oh, I understand. OK, you're trying to explain apps to you want to watch severance on that one. Yeah. What? OK. So an app, what will it do? It will play a show, you know, like entertainment.

This TV will. What happened to the app? Oh my God, is this? This guy's just looking for a place to live. All right, can you fuck off? Hey, do you mind fucking off? That's the one thing, I'm powerless against it. Bye.

I'm sorry, honey. I hired a wizard. What? Why? Come on, come on back. Come on back. Was it a tech wizard? Were you sure? Yeah. I, so I went to the, what I thought was the geek squad, but it was a bunch of geeks at a comic book store.

They were a squad. They had squad goals and everything. AOC was in there. Yeah. And they were playing Dungeons and Dragons. They conjured up a real wizard. And I thought he could help us out with our problem. We want to watch, you know, things like. I'm lost.

You're lost. So you do know Lost the TV show is that. Oh, yeah, I know Lost the TV show. But I really want to watch this Ted Lasso. OK, you want to watch Ted Lasso. He's so positive. He totally- So you want Apple TV. Yeah.

Yes, finally. We fucking got you. I knew what I was avoiding the whole time. Of course you did. Okay. All right now- Now I'll send a word to Lauren. Yeah, this is gonna be fun.

All the things you said, all the things you said, running through my head, running through my head, running through my head. This is not enough. Running through my hand. I hate when something like updates you every five seconds that it's gonna be delivered. Like we are sending it out now. We created a shipping label.

It is going in the mail. It is going tomorrow. It feels like I'm working for you. I don't need to know every step of the process. Just stop updating me. I don't give a fuck. I almost said the word out loud. Okay.

Wow. Wow. Hey, have you guys seen my spatula? Oh yeah, I was using it to clean the toilet. Why? There was a lot of stuff stuck to the side. Use the toilet brush, wait. Oh.

Have you been flipping my eggs with the toilet brush? Yes. Honey. I wondered why you put it next to the toilet. Do you mind that I have been flipping your eggs with the toilet brush? Oh my god, it's a little wizard. Yeah.

Dooloot. Hello. Well, what are you trying to make? I'm real now. Hey, it's great to see you again. Thank you. I haven't seen you since that whole Apple TV. Plus, huh? Who? Oh, you mean you mean my brother? Oh, your brother. That's right.

I know too many wizards. He's taller. I just want to, I'm just here. Do you have a spatula I could borrow? I have this toilet brush. Is that? Look, I guess we're just swapping uses for these things. I don't want a toilet brush. Well, what's a toilet brush supposed to clean?

It's right there in the name. It's supposed to clean a toilet brush? I mean, it could, I guess. That doesn't make any sense. What is it supposed to clean? Somebody brush? No, I mean, it could, I guess. What is it supposed to clean? Somebody tell me, wizard, anybody? I don't fucking know. What am I supposed to say, shitter?

Where's, honey, can you tell me where the spatula is? Here's the spatula, but she's just been using it to clean the toilets. Are you sure you want it? What's a toilet? Oh my God, this guy has no toilet. Look, where I come from, we just shit on the floor. We magic it away.

Oh, yeah. We go in a toilet and it goes down. I've heard of where you live. Into a way. You've heard of where I live? Yeah. Train station, eight and a quarters, eight and a quarters. Oh, okay.

So tell me. Well, what are you trying to make with a spatula? What do you need? I need, are you talking to me? No, I'm talking to him. He wanted a spatula. He asked where it was. I need to flip these pancakes over.

They're burning. Oh, are you, do you have enough mix to make new ones? You think I should just throw these away? That's a waste of good food. Well, I'm just wondering if there, is there enough pancake mix? There's enough, I'm, there's enough for, I was gonna make pancakes for you.

Okay, so you already made some in the- I made some, these were gonna be for me and then I was gonna make more for you. What's pancake mix? Do you want these burned I made some of these were going to be for me and then I was going to make more for you. Do you want these burned ones? What is no, do you want these burned ones? Pancake mix. How do you make it? If you mix it, it's like cornstarch flour.

Okay. Then what do you do? Eggs, milk. Then what do you do? Eggs, milk. Then what happens? You mix them together and you, you beat them in a, in a bowl. You motherfucker. Damn it. Fucking guy.

I was so focused on this whole time. And then you just, we got your ass. All right, Lauren, send me one of these words. I was so focused on this whole time. And then you just- Bow was the secret word. We got your ass. We got your ass. We got your ass. All right, Lauren, send me one of these words. We got your asses. We got your asses.

I saw Dave Tooney walking down the street the other day and I just wanted to text him. I saw your ass. I just got a text from someone. Alex Reed. Do you remember Alex Reed? Yeah, of course. I used to play poker with him every week. Alex Reed said, I was just driving a pill horse and saw someone dressed with a Paul F. Tompkins vibe out in front of all time. But there's only one person with a Paul F. Tompkins vibe, so I'm assuming it's you.

And I had to write back. It wasn't me. It was Emmy. I saw you at all time. He directed some good episodes of Andrew Savage's show. I'm sorry. He's segued into directing. Won the Emmy for Malcolm in the Middle.

Good for him. Who? Alex Reed. Was writer on Malcolm in the Middle. And wrote on a bunch of shows. And I think then segued into directing and he's a good director. Good for him. Agreed. And he reads me to filth.

Okay, would you please start us with a household... Yes I will. Oh boy, my blender's broken. Your what is broken? My blender's broken. Can I help with that? Could I also help with that? Two wizards.

Yeah. We're competing wizards though. I'm the smith. Hey, this is my turf. I'm the smith. with that? Could I also help with that? Two wizards. Yeah. Yeah. We're competing wizards though. I'm the smith. Hey this is my turf. Oh I thought I was supposed to be here. I poofed over here myself. Oh yeah I know you poofed over here. You're always hornin' in on my customers. What are you looking for? New Blender. How do you spell Blender? Are you a wizard too? How do I spell it? Yeah. With letters. Oh good, okay.

Are you a wizard? This will work out perfectly. Yeah, I come from a family of wizards. I have two brothers who are also wizards. Wait a minute, are we the brothers? Yeah. What? You guys, bro!

Bro! My long, long brother. Hey! We're actually brothers. Brothers. I love you, brothers. I remember growing up. Yeah.

Boy. We were in the castle. We were in a castle. We all slept in one room. We were doing spells. Yeah. There was a dragon. Yeah.

We all slept in that one room. Oh. The one room in the castle. There's a giant castle and they forced us in one room. With one window. The great hall. And one lamp. Yeah.

And a walk-in fireplace. Yeah. Yeah, we great hall, one lamp. Yeah. Walk in fireplace. Yeah. Walk in. Yeah, we would walk into it all the time. Burn ourselves. I can't believe we always shared one pillow and you didn't even recognize us. Well, your faces will be too close. If you were if you were just one big eyeball, then I'd recognize you for sure. Yeah, that's a good point.

I want to turn into a big eyeball. So my broken recognized. What was your favorite part of sharing? Oh, hey, a good point. I want to turn into a big eyeball. So if my bro can recognize me. What was your favorite part of sharing? Oh, hey, your eyeball now. What was your favorite part of sharing the room with us? When our feet would tickle each other. Where? On the feet.

What? In the bed. Hey! Wait, you guys said it. I didn't realize. A bed is the word. We never said bed. You never said bed. We never said bed.

We never said bed. Yeah, you did. We kept saying we sleep together. Sleep, we kept saying. And we said there's one pillow, one lamp. Run back the tape. I swear I heard you say bed. We never said bed.

We never said bed. We never gonna say it. But I said it and that's the thing. That's how the game is played. We didn't wanna say it. Well, that was fun. It was. We had a great time and I know you did too. If that was fun. It was. We had a great time and I know you did too.

If you would like to send us a threature, write to us at freedomusa.gmail.com or if you'd like to leave us a voicemail, you can go to the famous, famous website. I think you know the name. Hagclames8.com. We love this website. Poke around on there.

See, have fun. And then before you leave, give us a voicemail and we'll use those voicemails in our 3-mium episodes which come out every other Wednesday and they're accessible through the Maximus here on CBBworld.com or Lemonada Premium. That's right. If you want to hear old episodes, I'm sure Paul just said this, but if you want to hear old episodes, you got to go over to CBBworld World because they're all up there, they're all ad free. If you get tired of hearing us prattle on about, you know, all this stuff that we're using, then just listen to us ad free over there.

And then on Wednesdays we do the three meme episodes, that's where we answer your voicemails, that's every other Wednesday. And on Tuesday we re-release some of our old episodes. We call those Three Visiting on the Tuesdays. Anything coming up Paul? Because you're just about to be on tour. Yeah man, come out and see Varietopia. My variety show. I'm traversing the country and a couple stops in Canada.

Starts April 23rd, kicks off this Wednesday. This Wednesday, Iowa City Iowa City Iowa come on out and see me sometime yeah the old May West we're going to so many places we're doing over 20 cities on this tour so please come and check it out knows more than 21 I can't remember the exact I can't remember the exact number say more than whatever one less is why because that's fun we're doing more than whatever one less is. Why? Because that's fun. We're doing more than 23 shows. We're doing more than 23 shows. So yeah, this is a great time at the theater, by the way, you're gonna like, first of all, getting a babysitter is gonna be worth it. Because sometimes, you know how

you go to a show and you're like, oh, we got to get the babysitter and all that. Is it really going to be worth it? This is like, you're going to come home going like, it's like what Larry King, his experience going to see Cavaglia. That's right, his favorite show of all time. Yes, and that's- This is the best thing I've ever seen in my life. That would be the kind of quote you would say after you got in your car.

Exactly, that would be the kind of quote you would say after you got in your car. And thank you, my my friends for saying that. And please do come out and see us. Go to paulfthomkins.com slash varietopia and you'll see all the ticket links there. That's amazing. I don't have anything I can expressly plug at this time.

Just find me on Instagram. Find her in the street. And you'll just see what I'm up to. And I'm still riding Astonishing Spider-Man. So check that out on the Marvel Unlimited app. And until next week, keep reaching for the stars and keep grabbing them. Because I don't want to see them up there anymore.

Keep your feet off the ground and hold your breath in space. Keep your head on your pillow and your feet underneath the pillow. Some of us are in the gutter, but we're looking up at the stars. Bye. Bye. Hey everybody. That includes me. And me. Thanks for listening to this week's episode. If you want more of me, Paul and Lauren, and I know you do, you should join us over on Lemonada Premium on Apple Podcasts. That's what it is. Where subscribers get exclusive access to our 3mium episodes.

In each 3mium episode, we take your calls and listen to your voicemails and we answer them. You can send your emails to freedomusa at gmail.com, send your voicemail to hadclaims8.com and listen to your questions. Be answered by your pretzel gang on Lemonada Premium. Subscribe to Lemonada Premium today by clicking on our podcast logo on the Apple Podcast app and then clicking the subscribe button. Who's this guy? I don't know, but I like him. Sir, sir, could you please? I think he's a little crab. Hey, Paul. Sorry about that. Who was that guy? Someone

took your place for a minute. Yeah. That little crab. And we liked him better. Why do that crab do that? Hi, I'm Megan and I've got a new podcast I think you're going to love. It's called Confessions of a Female Founder, a show where I chat with female entrepreneurs and friends about the sleepless nights, the lessons learned, and the laser focus that got them to where they are today. And through it all, I'm building a business of my own and getting all sorts of practical advice along the way that I'm so excited to share with you. Confessions of a Female Founder is out now. Hear new episodes each week ad free on Amazon Music.

You can also ask Alexa, Alexa, play Confessions of a Female Founder with Megan on Amazon Music and she will.