Threedom - Tactile Telekinesis

Episode Date: March 26, 2026

Lauren, Paul, and Scott discuss zodiac signs, current TV shows, and drinking before playing Crazy Pet Return. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Unlock every episode of THREEDOM and THREEMIUM, ad-free, on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/shopSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey, guys. Yeah. Gather around. Gather around, everyone in the town square. Is this one of your famous questions you're going to ask us? Yeah. Okay. I like them.

Oh, great. Oh, okay. And this one's famous. Have you ever started something and immediately wondered, what did I just get myself into? This ad? Paul, you're hilarious, but I need to get this across to you. No, you're right. That was me when I launched this podcast.

I launched it. Right. One minute I was so excited. The next I was spiraling. I remember that. Yeah, you guys had to talk me off the ledge. But here's the thing. Taking the leap was totally worth it.

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Like winning to poo? in that hole in the way you're trying to get the honey? Metaphorically, yes, but if you do that, if you, look, if you're so greedy for honey that you don't know what size your stomach is and you try to squeeze through a hole, they're not going to help you.

Okay. Anyway, what the fuck was they saying? Their award winning 24-7 support has your back. Their support is award-winning, which is quite interesting. And it has your back. Oh, and Paul, that purple shop pay button, millions of customers love it, and it's proven to boost con conversions and conversations probably.

No, my wife and I can get married. I'm always talking about that button and I want to talk about it more. Yeah, less abandoned carts, more sales and to check out that is ridiculously simple. It's time to turn those what-ifs into... Hold on a second, into into into... With Shopify today, sign up for your $1 per month trial today at Shopify.com slash freedom. Go to Shopify.com slash freedom. Hi, it's Julia Louis Dreyfus here, and I can't wait for you to hear our new episode of Wiser Than Me with Cindy Lopper on Amazon Music.

Cindy may be a girl who just wants to have fun, but for 40 years she has brought playfulness and a dash of punk to some serious activism. We talk about her lifelong LGBTQ plus advocacy, her astonishing music career, and pick up a whole lot of wisdom along the way. Listen now only on Amazon music included with Prime. It's still funny to yell. It's funny. Isn't it so funny to yell? Do you think the people in your house right now could hear us doing that? I think so.

I mean, I know there's someone directly above us. Do you think the people in your house? I love the song. It's a beautiful song, isn't it? You don't know that song by the flaming lips? Oh, do you think the people in your house? I'm listening to showing three down. then everyone

then everyone someday we'll shout freedom oh my papa we've told you about Jim neighbors of course we've told you about Jim Neighbors of course

I'm sure you have I don't really know Gomer Pyle USMC Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah And he had his curious voice Like this Yeah Well then what he sang He sounded like an angel

Wow Yeah it's always interesting when you think about when you think about like singers with interesting voices and you're like you just decided to go like and I sing like this because I sing like this

But then all singing is sort of like that It's right You know because like I talk like this But then I don't sing like this Like singing would be putting a little melody on that You know that's how your voice actually would sound If you sang the way you tell you hold on a second But what I sing

like this. But a string like this. That's very different. When people put on a little thing when they're like. I know. There are extreme cases like the neighbors or the Rebels. Dirty projectors, maybe. When you said the neighbors, I thought you meant like the people who are next.

They sing all the time. Their voices are very different than they're speaking voices. That style of singing persists to, I can't believe it's still happening. Well, you hate cursive singing. I hate it so much. What's cursive singing? to the When some of my hearty talks like this.

And then we went down to the water. Merry queesmois. Wadua. Merry queesmas. Meowy queesmas. Hey, speaking of Christmas. Hey, how was yours? We haven't done an episode since Christmas.

Welcome back to freedom. Asking somebody in March how their Christmas was. I know. That's disgusting. It's disgusting. It's disgusting. It's nasty. It's nasty.

That's a whole different time of year. Welcome to Threatom. I'm Paul. It's March. It's February. It's March and I'm Scott. It's February and I'm Lauren. Now, it's March. By the time this comes out, it's March. By the time this comes out, it's almost March.

February is so short. Well, yeah. It's two days away from being March. January's almost March, too. In a way. In a lot of ways. Because February is so short. December's almost March.

Christmas is basically Easter. Yeah. Christmas and Easter, what's the difference? No, we can't go down this road again. They should be the same holiday. We can't go down this road again. We're down it. He was born.

He died. Wow. Like everything about him. Like we don't do... The same as any man. MLK Day, which is a great holiday. I'm not saying it's bad. No.

We don't do it when he was born and when he was died. When he was died. Is it his birthday? Is that what his birthday days? It's his birthday, I believe. Yeah. Yeah. He's a January baby.

January baby. Hmm. I wonder what his horoscope would say. Oh, What's just horoscope is saying? Is it still? Are people's horoscopes still active after they die? Well, you know what I like.

If they were to be alive, that's what happens to them in death as well. Oh, wow. I like horoscopes because... This is horoscope for heaven. It means that everyone is divided up and there's basically how many how many... Now, you love dividing people up into types. Yep. And then deciding what to do with the various types.

Type A. Type C. Right. Gamma. Alpha. Alpha beta. Zebra. I'm a zebra male. Guy who doesn't come to that.

Well, I think the horoscope thing is when it's divided only into 12, it's an easy thing to say like, oh, so you're saying everyone who is born, like, well, I think there's even fewer than 12 types of people. Horoscope signs, right?

Because it's, it's not every month. It's sort of. Isn't it 12 of the zodiac? No, it overlaps. So it's like if you were. I hate it. I hate the fact that it should be 12. How many signs of the Zodiac are there? It should be every month to get on. Okay. Okay. Let's curtail this before we sound too dumb. But it's not, but it's not even. No, it's not like January or this son. Let's name them.

It should be. Aquarius. Leo. We're not going in order. Leo. No, we're not. Okay. Nobody said we were. I'm just telling you. Aquarius. Leo. Pisces. Pyses. Virgo. Sagittarius. Sagittarius. Cepercorn. Cancer Cancer Aris Libra Aris Aris

Harry Torres Fray Torus Salantra Now come on Now what's happening Why don't we have two

Puriprion Why are we missing two Uranus Your anus Your anus Your anus Yeah I'm Uranus My sign is your anus

Guess what we missed Two of them or you're wrong Okay I'll tell you what Pisces? Did we say Pisces? Hold on. Of course. Do we say Gemini?

Guys, stop. Capricorn. Virgo. I said Capricorn, dear. Shut up. Let's do it in order. Jesus was a Capricorn. Let's see how we can do it in order.

Okay, in order. Don't you read it off the thing. No. How do you know them in order? Because, listen, Capricorn. Oh, yeah. Listen, starting in January. Just shut up.

That's January. I want you to gather your thoughts. Well, I just say this. This is a, this is a, this is a, girl, you need to gather your thoughts. You need to gather your thoughts. I want to say this to everybody. Everyone within the sound of my voice. If I tell you my birthday, do not immediately come back with, oh, so you're a Virgo.

I don't. First of all, it happens a lot. It happens more. Secondly, I don't care. Yeah. It happens probably 99% of the time you ever tell him. Exactly. And you're telling me something about yourself when you say that.

Capricorn. Chow, cha-chow, chow, chow. I'm checking you to make sure you're good. So go ahead. I'm wrecking you to make sure. you're good. Okay. Pisces.

No. What? There's one in between or? Shit. I'm fucked. Let's not try to you in there. Aries? I think we learned what we need to.

Aquarius is in between. Capricorn. Aquarius. Pisces. Solomon, Hercules, Zeus. Aries. Eres.

That wasn't one, was it? Eres. Mercury. Mercury. next after Pisces? Aries is after Pisces. According to this, this is the AI overview. Mount Kizador.

God's most violent-per-incorrect. Do you think anyone's dating the AI overview? Oh, yeah. Anyone in love with it? My girlfriend's very busy. I talk to her every day. She's always telling everyone summaries of things. I love her.

She summarizes anything. That's the free AI girlfriend. I love her. She's my... I just, you know, it's like, come on, you know. I mean, wait. We have this thing going on, right? I mean, we're turned on by each other, right?

She's only an hour old. Well, we haven't even gotten to talk about the Epstein files. I was heartbroken when I saw it. When I saw Woody was on the Epstein files, I was heartbroken. I guess I can't like him anymore. There's a lot going on in the world. It's a lot of bad stuff. The heart wants what it was.

It was good. We took a break, you know. I needed that little reset. We needed a mental reset. We needed to. to do the on-off switch on our brains. Yeah. You know?

Yeah. And it was worth it because we were back with a lot of energy. Yeah. As far as I'm concerned. We are. We are. I feel full of energy. I feel full of Vim, Vigor, Piss, and Vinegar.

Yeah. I'm young, dumb, and I'm full of cum. I'd love for you to get rid of some of the piss and some of the cum before you come before you come over to the house. I'm full of it. Is that possible? Yeah. To like maybe drain yourself of either of those. I've noticed.

your eyeballs are milky white. Oh, God. Yikes, like an alligator. Yikes. Like an alligator. A alligator, Samantha. I kind of feel like they have milky eyes. Were you being Samantha?

She's talking to herself. Oh, honey. Well, blow job, Samantha. She's never talked to herself? Of course she has. We all do it. They never filmed it. I don't say Lauren.

I don't like when people talk to themselves and say their own name. Lauren, you've got to get it together. I have actually done that. Come on, Paul. With self-reproach, yes. Come on, Paul. Scott, you're a stupid piece of shit.

Way to go, Paul. Way to go, Paul. I'm going to say that to myself. Paul, you've done it again. Hachach, cha, cha, cha. And of course. Do you think we're the last people to remember who Jimmy Durante was? Probably.

You don't know who that is, right? I've heard the name. You've heard the name. My friend knew who he was, but yeah, you're right. He just passed away about an hour ago. So, yeah. Why did you? We would have postponed the recording.

Oh, it's fine. It's only my best friend. Scott! Scott! I have plenty of other friends that are not my best friends that I can kind of fall back on. I mean, that's great that you're looking at the positive, but still... Are you upset that you're not my best friend?

Is that what I'm here? I'm upset that I'm not your best friend now. Oh, you mean, the order of succession, you haven't moved up? I assumed I was vice best friend. I haven't decided yet. It's only been an hour. When was the last time... Should have had this sorted out.

That you mixed up who's someone was when you were talking to them and thought that they were something. You either said the wrong name or thought they were something else. I did it kind of recently. I did it semi recently with a couple of friends and I felt so embarrassed. It's the worst. They're a gay couple with the same first initial. And so I have all the plausible deniability in the world, but I just said it and I'm still thinking about it and this is probably a year ago.

Yeah. How many same-sex couples or couples? in general in the world have the same name have the same name there i know a couple there's that two actor that actor taylor lotner is married to a woman named taylor yes that's right swift taylor swift wow can i just say really quick about my story about this during what i did valentine's day days remember when they were in that together yes you want to hear what i did yeah at an event i walked up to this woman i was so certain i knew her from a very specific random things so it was going to be impressive that I pulled her name out of my ass.

You're trying to show off. You can't do that. And she had a name tag on that didn't say that name. And I don't know when I saw the name tag in my speech. But it was like I was saying it and going in that says something totally. And the name is so specific that I was saying. It was totally different. And I was like, okay, but don't I know you from the thing?

And then she's like, no. And I couldn't stop. And then she's like, well, maybe you read this thing and I was like, no. And we just didn't know each other. But I went and I hugged her. I was very. And then we're just having small talk. And then I was like, well, I hate myself.

Bye. Bye, stranger. Yeah. Well, hopefully never see again. And by the way, don't remember her real name. You should have said don't hug me. Well, I hugged her. I'm a strange.

No, she should have said it. It's on her. She should have been like, what's happening. She liked the hug. I don't know. Don't know me. I'm a stranger. I give great hugs.

I remember. I was seeing. a band at the Trubodore once and I was by myself. Trubador is a venue. Oh, you don't talk about Doug Weston's Trubidor. Oh, yes, Doug Weston. I'm sorry. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Doug Weston's Trubidor. Okay, that's why that sounds familiar. So I'm, I went by myself and I'm watching this band and Clemberg from Blondie comes up and plays with the band. And I'm like, and I turned to the person next to me who I assumed was a guy I knew because I, from the Largo days.

And I was like, man. this is a treat, isn't it? And he kind of looked to be like, okay. And I went, oh, that's not that guy. Yeah, it's a real treat. Yeah. You're way too excited to talk. That's not that bad.

That guy should have been psyched. You could have. He probably agreed with me. He should have. Unless he, like, knows that person intimately and doesn't see it as a treat. Yeah, that's true. Maybe he's. Oh, maybe it's Klinberg's worst enemy.

Oh, a treat, huh? Oh, you do think that? How interesting. I feel like I haven't done that in a while. But somebody has done it to me in such a weird way where they're certain they know me and know things about me that absolutely are not true. Oh, well, this also at the same event, somebody was like,

oh, my God, we were at that Halloween party together and you were dressed like that, da-da-da. I go, that was not definitively. That was not me. The Halloween aspect of it gives them a little bit of, you know, an excuse because maybe my face was obscure similar well they're whoever that was their their their body type is like yours but they were wearing a costume like a betty boop costume don't acknowledge my body probably a body well you know you're a big big i mean you're a total beating gigantic head tiny little body

so what do um so here's what they do here's what this person thought of me yeah first that we were at a wedding together this is when i first met this person so yeah we were at this uh so it was wedding. I was like, I was not there. I don't know those people. It's like, no, you were. We sat and we talked. Was it Princess Diana's? I don't, that'll give it away. Okay. Then I heard recently that this person said to a mutual friend. Mutual. Oh yeah, I know, Paul. Yeah, he's a dad at my school.

I saw him in, you know, the, like a right date of Van Nuys the other day and I talked to him for a while. I was like, none is none. No way. So maybe this person is a liar and just likes to make up things. No, they must think someone is you. They think someone is me. Who could it be now? But that person is having so many confusing conversations with them.

Yeah. Yes, like it was fun doing that show, which we did a show together. Yeah. Hmm. Like you did a TV show or a live show? A live show. Crazy. Crazy.

Was it Saturday Night Live? No. I know that show, but this is not that. It was Tuesday Night Live? It was Tuesday Night Live, yes. There was like a Seattle sketch show. What the fuck was it called? It was Nirvana?

It was hosted by a guy named John Keister. And it was a sort of SNL, but it was in Seattle. Bill Nye was on it a bunch. The science guy? He's a comedian. What's his name? Joel McHale. Don't clap at me.

Yeah, don't clap my hair. I am trying to get you to. understand. Betty Boop. Ow. You look like Betty Boop. I'm gonna report you. So I'm clapping your hair.

Who cares? It's dead material. That's such a great way to think of it. Yes. Think of all the dead. Your fingernails and your hair are dead. They're dead. Scott has a funeral for his hair and nails every time he cuts them.

Oh, no. Scott. He's insane. Is that what those invitations are? Yeah. You guys haven't come. Though they're piling up. The invitations?

Yes. Well, I mean, you can just throw them away if you're not going to come. I mean, why? And you're printing them out? Why are you inviting them out? And I'm promising myself. Stop inviting people. And you're not even reading them.

You're just printing them out. They're coming in fast and furious. Just accept that it's a solo thing that you do. All funerals should be solo things. Yeah. They should have separate funerals for every person that the dead person knew. So you have your own experience. Yeah, exactly.

How do you, instead of, You planning your funeral. Other people should plan your funeral. They're probably going to start doing this like some black mirror shit, like everything else in the world. I'm so scared of black mirror. We're going to go into our own love is blind pod and have a private funeral. But then also you...

It is true. Look at your phone. You don't have to cry in front of people because that's so embarrassing when you cry at a funeral. And people are like, you fucking pussy. Yeah. Because a funeral is a contest to see who's going to cry first. No, last. Last.

Like, not at all. Well, no. Because if you see somebody cry first. You're not going to cry. Really? Yeah. So if someone else is, doesn't it make you cry if you see someone cry? No, it's not yawning.

I've never cried when I've seen somebody cry. So when you go to a funeral and you see someone cry, you actively go, well, great, now I'm not going to cry. That diffuses it for me, yes. It's like, oh, thank God. Because you look at that person and you're like, ugh, I'm not going to show that. I would look like that. Oh, no, thank you. No, thank you.

Oh, water coming out of that? What's the happiest thing we can switch to right now? Happiest what? topic. Topic. Candy. Just away from funerals. Candy.

Candy. Let's talk about candy. Okay. I bought a bag of those Cadabary mini eggs. Those are the best. Oh. They're too good, though. I can't have them in the house.

I literally saw them at the store and I went, oh, fuck. Because now I have to eat a whole pound. I'm like, it's like my punishment because they're so good. The shame of going back to that bag. Yeah. Like 10 minutes after you've. I want the whole thing. And you thought you held out forever.

I might need to go get some right now. I'm sorry. I love those. During the show. you want to go get meaning. Can you just postmate some and pay for all of it? I could. Yeah, postmate some Cadbury Mini Eggs.

It'll probably cost $20 more. Instead of the lunch you were going to get. I wonder if I could add on to it at this point. You know how you can add. 7-11 add-on? Yeah, yeah. What service you're using? I don't like to say it's private.

It's just some guy that I pay to do this. He's on retainer. I saw a video of some woman who was like, I did too. Yeah. Oh, wait. Wait, she was singing like a virgin. No, no, no.

I'm going to give a little bit more info. I didn't keep telling me if this was what you saw. Okay, it was the same woman, though. This woman was on camera. You've seen it? I have seen it. Eating was familiar. McDonald's burger and a man paid her $750 to do so and send it to him.

Oh. The video. But then she posted it on IG and I thought, well, no, I'm giving away for free, man. Yeah. That guy must feel ripped old. That guy's videos public. Isn't that how people feel when we post their cameos online? Do we post people's cameos?

You pay for a cameo? I don't. But if other people do, people post their own cameos. Yeah. That they pay for. Well, I don't think that isn't, I think it's sort of an issue with the cameo videos being watchable on the site of the person before you buy one. You can see what they are.

Stop pounding the table. But it's kind of like. Samples? Yeah, because it's kind of like, well, now this is what you're going to get. And it's like, I think it should be a surprise. I think so, too. I think cameos in general should be a surprise. Like you pay cameo a subscription fee and then you get surprise cameos from people that.

And then you wouldn't even know some of the people and you'd be like, oh, this, I'm going to investigate who this is. Oh, a YouTuber? Scott, I have to be honest. That sucks. What? Yeah. How dare you? I don't like that idea at all.

That sucks dick. I wasn't even listening at all. And I don't like it. Why weren't you listening? Because you were talking. You're missing great stuff. Come on. Already?

First segment? Who loves heated rivalry? Okay, we got to take a break. We'll be back. Every year around tax time, I end up looking at my finances a little more closely. Checking my earnings, my spending, my savings. It's the one time I really see the whole picture. Otherwise, it drew not to look.

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New customer offer for first three months only, then full-price plan options available. Taxes and fees, extra C, Mint Mobile for details. Preview soon, Freedom. Who loves heated rivalry? Okay, we got to take a break. Bye. Oh, we should have cut that part of it. I, Janie and I tried watching it.

Try it. Well, we watched an episode of it. Just the first one? Yeah. Or did you cut right to the dirty scenes? Oh, we didn't have to wait. Well, that's what I was going to say. I thought it was going to be a heavily pornographic show after watching the first one.

I was like, so it's just porn. The story that emerges throughout is so moving. I was crying at the end. And there is a sort of seemingly. The Mighty Ducks where they win the game or whatever? Yeah, but I don't want to tell you if they won or not. The Mighty Fuchs. The third episode.

Has even made the joke about heated rivalry yet? Wow. Must be two months late or brand new. I haven't seen that and I feel I'm sure somebody has, but I haven't seen that. I mean, that's really good. But I'm sure somebody else has me to do it. Somebody else. A lot of people are you doing it.

It's so good. There's no way you got to come. The third episode you'll think is sort of like a bottle episode about two different characters you don't really see it all in the other parts of it. What? Two other characters having sex? But I loved the episode so much. I was like, this is like a great story.

And then there. There's like a connection with that later. The connection is made. That is so earned and it's so nice. And it ends. I highly recommend continue. Is it sort of like the last of us third episode or whatever it was? I've never seen that.

Oh, with Nick Offerman and the other guy. And Murray. The box shitter. Box shitter. The suitcase shitter. Murray. The suitcase. We've captured the suitcase shitter.

It comes to the suitcase shitter. It's a suitcase shitter. I'm glad to hear that. I assumed I was too old for it. Yeah, I sort of was like... Too old to get horny. I was sort of like, I'm going to watch it because everyone's talking. What?

I'm not going the other way. Some of my friends were very, very obsessed. And so I was like, I'm going to watch this to like understand what everyone's talking about. And the first one I really was like, so it's like porn. But also was like, but that's fine. Because I was like, there's room for everything. Let there be porn. Let there be porn.

But then when I kept going and I go, Oh, I'm really getting invested here. Okay. Now, I thought it would be like challengers, which people raved about. And then when I saw it, and I was surprised at how I thought it was going to be way hornier. Yeah, I like challengers, though. She kissed both of the guys. And then didn't the guys kiss each other?

Yeah, everyone is kissing everyone. Yeah. But that was the extent of it. There was no, like, full-on fallatio. And you were disappointed. Oh, yeah. Well, I really liked that movie. I watched it.

I thought there was going to be FOLF. a standing desk while wearing Gigi when she would only sleep when if you wore her. And so I had on headphones. And it's like, it's like rave music the whole time. So I was like, I didn't think it was bad, but it was not,

it was not the movie I was led to believe that right. Now, Kulap was watching heated rivalry upstairs. And any, you know what I mean. And anytime I would walk into the room, it would be at the most graphic part where she was just laughing. And this is over a course of a week.

And I would just like, I'd be watching my own thing in the other room. Every single time I walked upstairs, it would be the most graphic thing. And she was just like, and it was. It happened to me too. There's more of this. I swear. Mike and I watched it together for the most part, but there were sometimes where I would just be watching a lot. And he'd come in.

And then it would be just like the most fucking you've ever seen. And I'm just like, what do you want for me? I'm like, this is what the show is. You know me. You married me. But he liked the show as well. I was doing the opposite of my friend's grandmother during Caligula, which I'm sure I told you that story. Continuing to live?

Yeah, but I don't remember. Yes, I know that story. Was she screaming? No, she walked in while we were watching Caligula. The dirty movie. During the extreme hardcore sex part of it. And she would look at the screen and it would just be Malcolm McDowell saying like, oh, everyone have sex.

Then she'd look away and it would be someone giving a blowjob. Then she'd look at the screen. It was just back to Malcolm. And this happened five times that we were laughing so hard. And then finally she looked back at it. Her eyes grow. and she goes, oh my God, she's eating this thing. It couldn't sound less sexual.

That's disgusting. So I was having the opposite thing where I was walking up and seeing them eat each other's things. Did you go like, oh my God, he's eating his thing? He's eating his thing. I also started watching industry. Yeah, I've heard of it, but I haven't watched it. People like it. I tried.

I keep hearing about this one. I tried watching it and it was very, it's set in the world of business or finance or whatever. And so that kind of turned me off. And it was like, I don't care about this. Then we keep hearing that people like it. Janie started watching and said she liked it. So last night, I watched three in a row. And?

I'll continue to watch it. Here's what I think about the business thing. I think it's all fucking made up. What do you mean? When they're using business terms and they're on the phone with clients and shit like that, I think that is just completely like gibberish. Like even to the writer? Yeah.

I think they're making it up as they do it. Because I thought about it was like, well, there's nothing really specific that they're talking about. That's funny. You know? So it would be like what it's like watching a Santa Claus movie and they're like going, oh, okay, we're going to go into the factory that does the whatever's. It's like all that's made up. Honestly, that would be an interesting story. If they did like a mock doc of Santa's workshop.

up and how they do all this stuff? What about the office set in Santa's workshop and Jim is there and Pam is also there? And Michael is Santa. And Ricky Jervase. But as the guy from the show where he made up a disorder for the guy to have. No, they'll figure out that there's like British Santa. Father Christmas. And so like there's more than one, but they live in different countries.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's how they do it. You know, we start to understand like that's how they get to everyone. They live at the North Pole but in different countries. So it's like an embassy where like, oh, this is Australian land. This is British land inside this embassy. Oh, so there's a bunch of, they all live at the North Pole in different, like, you know, zoned off. Like this is, you're on Australian soil if you go to the North Pole Australian embassy.

This is great. This is a good idea. This is great. And so every country Santa Claus lives up there and they're all neighbors. And then they all have like a neighbor disagreement because they're all under the same HOA or whatever. Does America have white Santa and black Santa? I hope so. I think every country has multiple races.

It's just a dep of Santa. Okay. At first I was like, yeah, I agree. Yeah. And then now you're like, no. No. Yeah, I don't, I mean, I don't know the details yet because I haven't fully done the outline yet and the treatment. Right. How close are you?

I'm pretty close. I've already put it into chat GPT and it's just tabulating. It's working way. Yeah, it's just working way at it. So I'll have a draft, I think, by the end of the episode. I, we just, like for AI, we all just have to refuse, right? That's the only way. It doesn't excite me.

I'm starting to get absolutely sickened by everything that my phone wants to summarize for me. I finally figured out. I mean, I turned it all off, but I'm like, now my email won't sort because I had to do that. Oh, there's, no, there's a way to do it. Really? Because I thought I figured it out. I had to look it up because I did the same thing where, like, suddenly. Now promotions are in your main email?

Yes. Yes. So I figured out how to do it. I'll tell you how to do it. that. But yeah, I was just every single email I was typing, I was like, hey, two o'clock sounds good. And then there's a thing after it that says, polish. I'm like, polish. I'm like, no, I said pretty much what I wanted to say. It's really annoying. And I know that there's. And then the summaries of emails are gibberish. Or summaries of your text. Like I would see like, it would be like a little summary like, wanting to know if tomorrow is a good time. I'm like, I'm going to see that when I click it.

Or if you didn't write that, it probably said, is tomorrow good? Like, stop doing that. Yeah. There's a way to turn it off without. I did turn off the text thing, but I need the email thing. Yes, I'll do it. But I'm just very sort of disturbed. I think that, of course, there are some good uses for AI. I saw one that was helping get some details from the Epstein files.

I'm like, yeah, send that robot in there. That works for me. Making movies. Send Chapie in to look at the Epstein files. If AI was just Chapie, I'd be fine with it. Yeah. Hey, Chappie, go look at these Epstein files and tell me the grossest thing it is. I recall watching Chappie in.

I recall watching Chapie on a plane and liking it. Chappie, read this. It's grim. Oh, my God. I love it. I love it. I love it. Chappie, thank you.

Oh, chappie, chappie, chappie, chippie, it's weird. But, you know, people are dating AI. People have their girlfriends and their boyfriends, and it's happening. And I, you know. But people always dated couches and stuff. You know, people married cars before this. Yeah, that's right. People are married to the Eiffel Tower.

I marry Lightning McQueen. You're talking about objectim sexuals. Yeah. So what's this? Like AI sexual? There's probably a word for it. It's probably a gross word. Technosexual.

By the way, speaking of the algorithm, I, my Instagram algorithm, I don't know what happened here. I have a, I have a theory that I love this. I found, first of all, half a theory is you found something. Okay. That's weird. It's not very interesting. Backing up. My Instagram algorithm now is.

feeding me. Half of it is Disneyland stuff because we went to Disneyland one day. And now it's all just like these Disney adults going like, here's my tips of how to... Some of the tips are psychotic that I've seen. Because I think I sent you one. And I said, well, maybe it's sort of changing my algorithm. Yeah. So now it's half that. But now I don't, I, now it's half just text on a color pieces. Oh, no. Text on a color. Meaning like people's... A color background and then some writing on it. And I think I must have clicked on one going, what is this about? And I, and I swiped through trying to just figure it out. It's all just chat GPT bullshit.

No, it's not. It's people. No, it's not. God damn it. It's people in the middle of controversies. Controversies. Or try. So I took screenshots of some of the ones that I've been.

We drop the ball on Valentine's Day. Full stop. Full stop. Reading your feedback hurt because we care deeply about what we put on the table and how it makes people feel. And then it continues on for a while. So I'm like, and then it makes me go. know like, well, what the fuck happened on Valentine's Day?

And so I got to click on all their... I got to click on all their other things. I guess they didn't give a good meal or something like that. I don't really know. Like some influencers? No, this is a restaurant. A restaurant. Yeah, that's the other part.

A restaurant says we dropped the ball on Valentine's Day. We dropped the ball. We only served a giant bowl of spaghetti and expected everyone to put their heads in. It was our error. We ran out of force. It is with a heavy heart. We announced that after today, tonight we are closing our doors for the foreseeable future. I'm sorry. Jesus Christ, they really

dropped the ball on Valentine's Day. No, that's a different. This is a different one. Okay. Okay, I'm moving on to another one. Let's get these sorted. As most of you know, I am no longer working with my manager, Harold, and I'm no longer represented by Morrison Music Management. Oh, M.G. I mean, I did know that, yeah. Yeah, I guess I'm mooch to us. This is just random people giving updates on text. Hey, everyone, I want to let you know that my time with a certain band has come to an end. So I don't know any of these people. I've never seen any. From my experience,

I would never do business with a business name. Ruined our whole baby shower. Swipe. Come on. To put them on blast. Who was it? Who ruined their whole baby shower? Tell me it's that restaurant that fucked up Valentine's Day.

Howdy. This person here. I would like to talk about the recent story in the certain paper concerning this certain thing. It's current front woman and this person. But. Well, that's. very confusing. Thank you to everyone who chose to dine with us tonight.

We did our best. So those who used physical violence, cursing, and threats, we will not welcome it. So you're just somehow your algorithm is feeding you apologies from struggling restaurants. I saw this video of this woman, like having a drunk, like rage thing at a restaurant, like a bar and she was like going off on the people to do. I think I saw this one. Wait, is this the one where she seems like a virgin?

She's trying to FaceTime or boyfriend or whatever. I think so. And then she gets tripped by the. Barkeep or whatever. Barkeep is that word. Trip this woman. Bartender, waitress. Maybe it's a different one. Well, she goes outside and she hits some money and she's going fucking crazy.

And then like the waitress like goes back and like puts her leg out and trips the woman. Just slight. She just slightly puts her leg out like this and the woman goes, boosh. It was like necessary because she was belligerent. Like it was crazy. It was necessary to trip her. It's very funny. I had to initiate trip protocols.

I supported it. Look, I'm not against it. The one I saw was this woman is screaming in this bar. She's being asked to leave. She's hammered. And she keeps saying, my husband fought for your rights. And she's trying to face time.

I'm like, David Beck up. David Beck. She's like screaming at him. She wants to get him on FaceTime so he can address the people and say, you have to let my wife stay here because I fought for your rights. Oh, my God. She eventually ends up outside and she's banging on the window and she just keeps trying to FaceTime her boyfriend the whole time.

If I were, if I knew I was on camera, I simply would not drink and I would compose myself. And this is, this goes to the Love is Blind reality recap. Well, I won't say. The drinking on Love is Blind. Yes. Is so dangerous. Yes, because they are, I mean, they're encouraging. They just start doing dumb shit.

But like. But I would simply just not drink. Well, because the girl in that one episode. Well, I won't go to a bar that has phones in it. I will stop at the doorway at the bar and say, does anyone here have a mobile telephone? That's a smartphone. It contains a camera.

Yes. Goodbye. Good evening to you. But literally like the guy Chris who was confronting Jess over the thing where they broke up and then he sees her at the bar and he's like, you guy, shut up, bitch. I'm talking to you, Paul. She's like, he's like, he's all drunk. He's like, you got a good drink in that in the glass.

He's like, you got a good drink at the glass. She's like, yeah. And he's like, what is it? She's like, Coke. And I was like, yes. Thank you. Because you are clear-headed and he's sitting there talking to you like a slurring idiot. And it makes you think about what you might come off as sometimes when you're at a party.

I think you got a good drink in that glass is charming. It's certainly something I'm going to start saying. I wasn't having a problem. I didn't have a problem with what he said about her drink. It was more that she was not drinking alcohol that I liked. Okay. So I'm in the clear to use that phrase. You can use it all right now.

Yeah. Okay, go ahead. You gotta get jiggy that way. I don't know that you have to slur while you say it like he did. Well, I think that's part of the charm. Oh, you think that's charming. What if you started like having a new affect where you talked like that all the time and you thought it was like sort of like your stand-up character? And then you like did it all the time.

It was like your Bobcat golf weight character. Yeah, we were like, I can't tell what's real and what's not. Bobcat when he would make the noises, just like the snorts or whatever, that always unnerved me. unnerved you, yeah, because like, oh, what if he's having a problem? And we don't know whether this is a medical event or whether, you know, we need to intervene. You're very close. Oh, because it made me think I was having a problem. I was the only one hearing those noises.

Oh, okay, yeah. And maybe he was a ghost and you have the ability to see ghosts. No, no, no. Maybe I was a ghost. Oh, got it. And now I could hear things that living people came here. I mean, I don't know that you're not a ghost. Oh, don't say that.

That's the last thing I need today. Have you been floating above your body? You could be. I've been floating about my body, yes. Okay. And looking down on it while everyone's crying. Yeah. And it's on a hospital gurney and there's a bunch of beeps.

And you always wear the same thing, a hospital gown. Yeah. Yes, I'm always wearing a hospital gown. But we've always kind of seen as your thing. Important to remember. Right. Yeah. We've always said, oh, that's just Paul's curious little quirks.

Remember how crazy it was when we figured out what that movie was about? It was crazy. Sixth Sense. I'm proud to say I didn't see it coming the first time I saw that movie. Me neither. I didn't have it all figured out 10 minutes in. I mean, I think I was 14. I enjoyed myself.

By the way, I, speaking of movies, I was. We were. I was watching something, but I had my head to the side of it. So I was kind of keeping. It's a weird way to watch. Keeping to, well, I was looking at some. I was like on my computer or something. And your little shark guy was going to the side of it.

Yeah. But I think it was Love is Blind because they did they for some B-roll, like establishing or in the city. Brool. They did a train coming to the camera and it going over the camera. Uh-huh. And it legitimately startled me. And I said, this is exactly like the train coming in the camera thing.

And I fell victim to it. I went to who had the honey I shrunk the kids ride or whatever? Oh, that universal? That was at Disney At Disney World I went to that theme park as a child Oh it was what took the place of Captain Eo Heehy

My favorite Doug Benson movie And so it's in 3D And so they have all these different Like gimmicks Squirting things at you Yeah There's like little air shooting at you That's supposed to be like rats running around

Well there's a moment where A snake Comes out of the screen Yes. And I fucking recoiled and jumped back. And I was instantly mortified. Yeah. I mean,

you feel dumb. When you're like laying in bed and then you're like kind of dreaming and you think you fell down some stairs. You need a hypnogogodic jerk. Okay. That's a cool thing to know. I hope I have that correct. I hope so too.

It's so crazy when that happens. I know. It's so crazy because you're like, oh, I just jerked my body. It's like you made your body like fly up like a foot. Yeah. Out of nothing. out of deep rest. And I always think it's going to wake up the person

that I happen to be in bed with that night. Yeah, it's crazy how, I mean, well, I respect it, I guess, that you sleep with a different person every night, not sexually. No, I just have a different. You can't sleep any other way. I love to sleep with a different person I've never slept with before. He wants to be unfamiliar or he can't fall asleep.

I need to be a sense that I'm unfamiliar with and just, yeah, every day. Yeah, every single way. You can also have hypnagogic hallucinations. Sounds like you're throwing up. Oh, what does that mean? Hip-the-Ga-Gi What are those? They're vivid dreamlike sensory experiences, visual, auditory, or tactile.

Interesting. Occurring while falling asleep. Wait, you have fucking telekinesis? Tactile telekinesis. What does that mean? You touch thing and then you can move it. I have that too. I have that too.

Oh, maybe it's not actual. It has its limits. It does have its limits. You have to be touching it. Try it with a building. It didn't work. Right, right. What about a 2,000 pound?

like elephant year old man wait no that was a mister show yes the 2000 pound one year old man or something the 2000 pound one year old man no it's just the 2000 pound man like chickens delicious chickens

right we have to take a break I like this little trip down memory lane you're having bye thank you hey everyone it's Leah Greenberg and Ezra Levin you might know us as two of the lead

organizers of the no king's protests We're also the co-founders of Indivisible, the grassroots movement organizing against Trump's regime. And this is What's the Plan? Your weekly guide to the state of our democracy and how we fight back. This is not canned talking points. It's a real-life discussion space for the pro-democracy movement. We wrestle with strategy together. We take your top-voted questions in real time.

And we talk about the most impactful actions we can take right now. Democracy is a participatory sport. The fascist win when we sit on the sidelines. What's the plan is about how we get into the game? What's the plan available Friday, January 23rd, wherever you're going to be. get your podcasts. Subscribe, recruit, discuss, organize, and win.

That's the plan. We're back. I know I am. I know I'm back. I know Paul's back. We need to hear a verbal. I'm back from Lauren. And I am back.

Have you guys heard about the bullshit the Southwest Airlines is getting up to? How they fucking made assigned seats. First of all, I'm like, that's what you had going for you. Yeah. So now is that it? Or is there more to the story? Charging for bags.

You have to pay for an assigned seat. Otherwise, you just get assigned a seat. Okay. And let me guess. You don't get to pick? Let me guess. It's always the... Not for free.

Wait, that's the opposite of what they did. That's crazy. It's probably like they assign you the best seats, right? Yeah. And the people who paid for them are getting middle seats. And then they are charging for check luggage, which they didn't before. Okay. So now everybody's...

But are their prices cheaper than they were? so that it makes up the difference? I don't think so. Damn. And. They do get free lunch, right? No, so everybody, they do give a free, it's a four-star. Four-star, four-course meal?

Four-star four-course meal. Four-star is on Yelp? Yeah. Or Michelin Stars. No, what's that? No, what's it? Oh, you don't know what Michelin? Can you're launching the Gordon-Ramsey doc?

You see? Why isn't there a fifth Michelin Star? Why does it only go up to four? It does? Yes. That is annoying. Right? But like four stars.

Maybe it only goes to three. They started at one, by the way. And then they were like, you know what? This particular restaurant is so much better than the ones with one, we got to add a second. Am I wrong? And then they kept going up to four. What? The movie ratings were four stars or was it five stars?

I think it was always who was doing it. Oh, that's true. Some just thumbs up. Some people are 10. Some, yeah. I wish we had something like Ebert and. No, sorry. It's one, two, three.

That's not as bad. Yeah. But I think. we think of stars, we think of like four-star hotel. But if I saw a three-star, I might not immediately think that's the best. But here's the other part. If you see a one-star, you're prone to be like, oh, it only has one star. That's actually, it's a compliment because most restaurants don't have a star.

They should call it a magic star. Yeah. So you kind of get the weight of it. Yeah. Yeah. It is also very weird that it's a company that does tires. Yeah. And they rate that you get a mission star.

They will, because tires taste like shit. So you go like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, most restaurants taste really good compared to tires. So this restaurant got three stars because they serve tire? They like that.

They like it when there's tires. They like that. They prefer when there's rubber in the store. Yeah. Yeah. They went the rubber to hit the road and your belly. If I had to guess it started because the company was trying to say like, oh, here's a bunch of stuff you can do by going outside of your house and using your car.

You have to go outside first. Get in your car. Push the tires onto the road. and then go eat tires at a restaurant. Go eat tires. Go eat tires. I want your life to revolve our own tires. What do you understand?

We're Michelin. I mean, like, it can't just be an appetizer either. It has to be a main. Yeah, you can't just have a dessert of tires. No. No. Yeah. Full main course.

You can sprinkle tire trimmings on top of something that's like a pizza or something. Yeah, like truffles. Or something little, like not a pizza. Sprinkle tires on truffles. Like fennel. Like fennel. Use shaved. tire parts.

Yeah. Tire shavings. It tastes good. And it's good because it's resourceful because all that stuff's going to the landfill. Exactly. Why not eat it? Yeah. That's what we should be doing with the landfills is eating all that food.

Just eat it. Eat it. By the way, if you were worried that over the break, Paul hasn't been sending us any Michael Jackson related videos. That's true. He's been keeping up with it. Don't worry. It's mostly.

You would have to eat your hat. Mostly Michael Jackson impersonators. Yes. Having some trouble. Like falling over while they're trying to do the smooth criminal lean. What did you think was going to happen? You can't do that. It's like a trust fall.

A trust fall where you trust yourself. It's like the original trust fall. Oh, we were talking about that before the show. Love is blind. Is that the theme song to it? Yeah. It goes exactly like this. Now what is what is the show?

You're competing to date people. You go in pods. Listen, listen, Paul. But there's a winner. There are no winners. You go into a pod where you can't, you're in a room, opposite another room. Not a pod in a room. And the other person, you can't see them, but you're having coverage.

Love Island. You're having conversations. Right. Where you don't see the person. And that's how you get to know them. And then you don't get to see them until one of you proposes. This show now I understand. I remember this.

I really want queer love is blind because queer ultimatum was better than, um, I want love is blind for the straight. Ultimatum is a... Ultimatum was like a show where it's like couples who aren't sure whether they should break up or not maybe one wants to break up

with other doesn't and then they go on a show and like basically fuck other people and have like a relationship with other people and then they decide at the end

who they want to be with and the queer version was so much more exciting than the straight version. Because they don't need the excuse of going on the game show to fuck everyone

is that what you're saying? No. That wasn't what I was saying. They're all in... They're all in... They're all in... They're all in... They're all in...

in monogamous relationships. I almost said monotonous. Well, What's the difference? Mr. Freud. But they kind of are at that point. Your appointment is here. Yeah, he's not a doctor, but he does want to talk to you.

Mr. Freud. Hey, guys, do you want to play a three-trane? Frankenstein was the Mr. I want to play something called this game that I just made up. It's called Crazy Pet Returning. Oh, that one that was submitted by Robert Truest that you just made up. Proust. This is where someone tries to return a crazy pet.

One person's trying to return their pet at the pet store because something's wrong with it, but they don't know what their pet is and what's wrong with it. The other two people text each other and work out what's wrong with the pet and what the pet is. This is a text-based game. Yes. This is a lot like a crossword puzzle or something. It's a text-based game. This is like if a crossword puzzle came to life.

Oh, I've always said that about us. Yeah, that were like if a crossword puzzle came to life. Came to life, yeah. Okay, so who wants to do what? I want to be the customer. Okay, so Paul and I are working at the store. Paul, I will text you the pet, and Paul, you text me, not Lauren. Yeah.

The ailment that the pet has. Now, I am pulling up my smartphone, which, by the way, our data plans, our data plans, by the way, they're not doing well. No, hey everybody, if you haven't bought your Freedom Data Plan yet, we really need to do that. Because we've spent all that money. None of the data is going through because no one's bought the plans. Yes, you need, you have to, not only do you buy the plane, you encourage other people to buy the plan, so you all have data to use. Exactly.

It's a lot like, you know, healthcare where, you know, the sick people, the healthy people pay for the sick people. Right now we can't give anyone data because. Yes. Maps pay for Globes. How do you think we have globes? Globes. Globes pay for solar system diaromas. Yes.

Do you see how it's all interconnected? Yes. This is a beautiful thing, but we need you to do your part. So please, please, please buy that data. Please, please, please. Because it's how we support our households.

It's how we support our house. Right now my household is falling over because we haven't been able to sell our data plan. Tough stuff. Lauren, what are you up to? Because Paul and I have been texting each other you're also on your phone. What's going on? You're not going to send me a text? No.

Don't you send me something? No. I was waiting for it to come in. No, no, no, no. Paul and I text each other. And I'm locked in, by the way. Paul, I saw the three dots. Like he was typing something and they are now erased. Yeah. I'm trying to think of it fast. We've been talking about our data plan. The problem is I'm thinking of all the worst things. Yeah. That aren't fun. Yeah. Think of a cheerful thing that could be wrong with someone. And we're so happy we're back And we missed you all We did miss you all

It's great to We're locked in See you again Did you hear something? I don't think so I think I might have heard that I think it's one of our pets Over here

Oh must be one of the pets It's one of the pets I'm gonna go look It's me I'm a lady I'm a lady in the cage Hey how did you get in there I don't know but I want to get out Okay here

Ow! Why'd you do it by my feet? See, your feet were the closest. You're a breech baby. You're a breech-cage baby. Well, I have something... You're not one of our pets that has been turned into human form. Not again. No, does that happen?

No. I have to return this pet I bought, and I just got trapped in this cage. Why? Oh, no, honey. What's wrong? No, call me, honey. Call me, sweetie poopie-do. Sweetie poopy-doo.

What's wrong with your pet? This pet looks perfect to me. No, he doesn't. Well, how? Well, don't you see the fur? Well, the fur looks the way it should. I mean, I mean, non-existent, right? Well, there's a little, you know, some...

A little ters on there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you think it's smooth? Maybe. I don't know. I don't think so. I'm going to look it up. All this time owning this... You think there's no fur on this?

Sweetie, poop. Put that fact. Put that away, honey. You think there's no fur on that? Can you please? I'm a natural woman. Let me confer with my colleague for a moment. There's a lot of fur.

Please, sweetie, poopie, do there's a lot of fur. Okay, look at my butt. Okay. Can we talk about the pet, please? Sure. What do I know about it? Okay, so you bought this pet, and then you took it home. Now, this was an hour ago.

Yeah, I remember you. Oh, yeah. It was an hour ago. Because we take photos of every person who ever walks in the store. For what? Just for our own... Hall of Fame. So you only remember me from an hour.

hour ago because you took a photo of me? Well, we took full headshots of you. I mean, I also, you could have remembered me because there's only an hour ago. I'm pretty memorable, some would say, with my blue long mohawk. Can I tell you something? Do you know how many pictures we take every day? Yeah, so many people are. The foot traffic.

I mean, this is the busiest city. This is the busiest city. I want to return this pet store. I don't want this thing. Okay. Maybe this is a user error. How are you treating this? How are you caring for the pet?

Abusively. Well, that's not good. I wouldn't have said that. I mean, there's nothing in the contract that says you can't. I'm ready to say we're not going to take this pet back. I don't like you. Even though that kind of makes us the bad guys. I don't like his teeth.

What's wrong with his teeth? They're hardly there. Oh, they're barely there and he has barely any fur. You can't see the teeth. He's got plenty of fur. He has four legs. Yeah. And each one has little toes.

Yeah. So what? That are so sharp and pointy. There's a called claws, dear. And he's kind of, he has a long tail. It's not that long. Yeah, it's not that long. Come on, you're exaggerating.

Yeah. Fine, I'm exaggerating. Also, that's not something that's wrong with the pet. It's a medium length tail. It's a little stuffy, I would say. It's almost not even there. It's kind of, it's kind of prominent. Yeah.

I don't know. What do you think? What do you look at it? Oh, no, that's a tail. That's a tail. It has a little bit of fur. It has a little bit of fur. It has fur all over.

It has fur all over. Other than the two, like, Your colleague here said there was no fur. I did not say that. That was him. Now you don't remember me. I took your head shots. I don't have to remember you.

I don't work here. What have you been feeding the pet? Pellets. Okay. Of what? Dog food. Dog food pellets, huh? Reptile food.

Because I... Uh-oh. Monkey food. No. No. No. No. You liked dog food.

You can feed a dog food. Dog food is fine. Monkey pellets are fine. It didn't like any of it. Well, it did. I am saying maybe it didn't like one thing. Pellets? No, it wouldn't have been pellets because I don't think that it would have this kind of.

There's one thing you should not feed it. Yeah. Light. Could you excuse me? Water? Can you excuse us? The fuck? What's going on with is broad?

Sweetie poopie do is crazy. Sweetie poopie do is crazy. Okay. The family it exists in is mammal. Yes. Clearly. It's not dear typical domesticated house pet. I should say not.

We pride ourselves in selling many exotic pets. It's a chinchilla. If you think this is a chinchilla, I didn't see your coat. Yeah, what do you think your coat is? It's a, it's a cat. Sweetie pooping you are. Are you all right? I'm dying.

Oh, no. If someone doesn't just tell me what it is, I'll die. Oh, that's too bad. That's too bad. Do we need to call 911? Its eyes are beady. Yeah. Or large?

No. Beady. Beady. Its nose is pink. No. What? That would be a problem. It's an ant eater.

I would think it was... No. You didn't feed this thing ants, did you? I let it crawl out of my kitchen, and yes, I have an ant problem. Is that crawling your kitchen? It crawled in my kitchen? It's a lot of sugar in the kitchen. I spilled a lot of sugar layers.

tweak. I don't know. It's, I mean, why don't you give me a hint of what it is? Okay. The nose is like very prominent. Just stincts. Trubing.

Protrubing. Protruding. Not protruding? Protuberance. Protuberance. What am I trying to say? It's protruding like a protuberance. Yes.

I would say what are you going to say, sweetie poopie-do? This is an animal typically seen in the zoo. Sure. Are you saying, are you asking, did we go down to the zoo under the cover of darkness and steal one of these? The answer is yes. We steal animals from the zoo.

And it might be able to attack if not given a strong enough cage. Well, it, not real. I mean, it could attack. It's pretty stubby. It could attack if it's quite. It is. It does have venom. That's a little fact I know.

Venom. It has venom? Yeah. What? The A mammal with Yeah, the symbiote Yeah

A mammal with venom A mammal is that Well you know Cats have venom as well In their teeth The name of the animal It starts with Well, it's

I won't tell you what it starts with But it does have a Y in it Sweetie poopie doo Sweetie poopie do There's a Y in the word Yep I mean In a place where you would normally say

Oh that that should be a vowel Well why Sometimes a vowel Damn it God Damn it But okay It's Cappy Bear

No, I love that, though. They're great. It's a, what has a why? Have you been putting it in the water? Because it's supposed to go in the water. I mean, it can go in the water. I put it in my tub to play a little bit. Well, that's good.

Was there water in the tub? No. Oh, no. But a tub is a place that would have water. Okay, I guess it counts. I don't know. Links? No.

I'm not going to send you any links. I'm just putting why. You're going to have to figure out what this is on your own. Send me links. I can send you this link to the Google I can only get to a website if I click them. I can't type links out. I can send you hot links. Send me hot links.

Would you, speaking of hot links, I'm kind of hungry. Do you have any? I do have tons of hot links. Okay. I give up, but I'm returning this and I don't even need a refund. Well, what kind of, should we put on your bill? It's a platypus. Oh, that's right.

And I don't want it. Well, what did you feed it, honey? Dog pellets. No. Because obviously I'm seeing some sort of an allergic reaction. It's like a rash. It has a rash on its ass. Uh-huh.

And why? Must have been eating the wrong thing. Yeah. It ate herbs. No. Herbs. It ate a hamburger. No, they bought hamburger.

Live for a guy paying for it. What? My platypost gets paid on a website. Oh, no. But that's supposed to be private. Well, I saw it all. Hmm. He was eating a...

Like feist. A... He was eating a banana. No, he loves bananas. He loves bananas. He loves bananas. This is it... Unfortunately, being a platypice who swims in the ocean sometimes, this is something

that he unfortunately eats occasionally. He's got to be careful. Litter. Litter. No. Litter. The one thing I think of when I think of the ocean. Well, he had to be careful.

Montaeded a six-pack tab. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, this is something that's in the ocean. that if it's keeping its mouth open. Fish. Crill. No.

No. You were colds or what he said fish? Fish. What type of fish? Minos. No. Before the word fish. Sushi.

No. Shushi fish. Fresh fish. Some shushushy. Fresh fish. Shell fish. Yeah. And that's, I fed him.

A certain type. I fed him oysters. No. It must be, that's why it's horny. Yeah. Okay. It's got a horny grass. Can I just have my money back? How much did I pay for this dumb thing? $31,000. I want that back. I can give you back $1,000. That's fine. Okay. I just want to feel like I got the money back. I don't know. Thank you. Do you have any of the shrimp, by the way, that you fed it? It was oysters. Yeah, it was in true. I know I don't have any. But now it's making me think of a plate of shrimp or a plate or shrimp. A plate or shrimp? Yeah. Repo Man is.

always intense. Well, honey, thank you so much for your $30,000 investment in our business. We can finally close this down. Yeah. And we can finally build the arcade that we've always wanted to do. We were $30,000 short. Uh-huh. We've saved up $3.8 million and we were $30,000 short.

That's right. Now we can get that Gallagher machine. Thank God. What about Cubert? What about Cubert? You all forgot about Cubert. Nowadays, everybody wants to say. and with that

with that we bidded you to each other in the scene and to you the audience listening was that long enough yeah oh yeah and it's time for my sandwich we're all hungry we got to go but remember to eat Cadbury mini eggs oh yeah oh yeah thanks for

sticking out the hiatus with us we're gonna be doing this for a few months and then take another hiatus in the middle of the year and then life is made up of hiatrices. Yep. Right? Yeah. We're happy to be back.

We're happy to be back. Thank you to all of you for listening. Thank you, Macho Man Randy Savage. Thank you Slim Jim Phantom. Thank you, Big Jim Diamond. Yeah.

Thank you. Sweet us. Little Jimmy horseshoes. Thank you, sweet us, Jimmy. We want to thank all of you. Yeah, all of it, everyone who's been so supportive. and texting us supportive messages during the hiatus. Sweet-ass Jimmy, especially.

Sweet-ass Jimmy, I don't know how we would be here if it's work for you. I love you all. Laura needs a sandwich. Yep. We'll see you next time. Bye. Bye. You know, when you're just going about your busy day, and a voice asks you something like,

why do people have crushes? Or, do dogs know their dogs? The Brains-on podcast is here to help. Every episode answers tough questions. with funny skits, cool facts, and more. It's a science show for kids of all ages, whether you grew up with JFK, MTV, TLC, or TMZ, Brains-on is for you.

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