Threedom - TFW You Know There's Crunchies Across the Street
Episode Date: July 10, 2025Scott, Paul, and Lauren discuss the doctor, Paul's Cameo Campaign, and croutons before answering a listener voicemail. Send Threetures and emails to threedomusa@gmail.com.Leave us a voicemail as...king us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Listen ad-free and unlock the THREEMIUM archive on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Three of.
Three of.
Three of. Three of. Three of. Three of. Three of. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Freedom!
Freedom!
Freedom!
Freedom!
Freedom!
Freedom is the name of the show you're listening to.
We are three friends and we like to tell you what to do.
You gotta go out, get a job, clean your face,
wash your slob, pull those pants.
Wash your slob?
Yeah, go wash your slob.
Just go wash your slob.
Wash your slob.
We want our listeners to obey us.
Obey.
As you would your parents, honor us,
much like you would your parents.
Yes, honor thy father and mother keep holy the Sabbath day
Bare false witness against thy neighbor
Worshiping craven idols
These are all good ideas God when you think about these down you think about God and his rules. He sounds crazy
Yeah, he's a little intense, but then when you think about God, we gotta write these down. You think about God and his rules? He sounds crazy. Yeah, he's a little intense.
But then when you actually put him into practice?
Yeah, the guy who knew something.
There's a method to his madness.
Yes, I've never coveted an ox.
No.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
It's freedom.
It's freedom, I'm Scott.
I'm Paul. I'm Lauren. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, You're at Stuffed Shells? Yeah, I love Stuffed Shells. It's just a point, it's not sweet enough.
You're not sweet enough, how do you like that?
I love you.
Oh my God, he did it!
I'm gonna give a shout out to Leely Pitts,
who dropped off a pan of Stuffed Shells after I had GD.
Oh, that's so nice, Leely's a really nice person.
After I had GD, I was trying to figure out
what that stood for.
I had a case of GD.
Giardia?
What is that? Giardia disinfected.
Once a with Giardia.
Is that that song?
Yeah.
Then it's so swell.
Once a day Giardia?
I only get Giardia once a day.
Yeah.
That's not bad.
What do you think about it?
Well, yeah, considering it could go on all day.
Yeah.
Once a day?
If it's just within a specific time frame.
I have Giardia at lunchtime.
Yeah.
It's a big story to tell.
Do you know this ad?
Yeah.
Once a day Giardians.
Giardians. Why would I have Giardia at lunchtime. Yeah. The big story to tell.
Do you know this ad?
Yeah.
Once a day Giardians.
Giardians.
Why would they?
It's too close to Giardia.
Too close.
You can't do that.
No.
What's Giardians?
A medicine?
Yeah.
I forget what it's for.
I forget, but yeah, it sounds...
You know what they always say when they go, they don't really tell you what it is and
they go, ask your doctor if you need Giardians or whatever.
But then I'm just going to go in and be like, is that right for me? I don't know what it is and they go, ask your doctor if you need Jordians or whatever. But then I'm just gonna go in and be like,
is that right for me?
Like, I don't know what it is.
Supposedly-
I'm gonna make an appointment to ask this question?
Yeah, by the way, hard to see a doctor.
By the way, is Jordians right for me?
Yeah.
Get the fuck out of here.
Hey, by the way-
You tell me!
It improves blood sugar control in adults and children
age 10 and older with type 2 diabetes alongside diet and exercise
Can we just have pills that you don't need to diet and exercise with or can we assume that you want us to diet and exercise?
You have to keep fucking saying it. Everyone knows. Yeah, okay
Okay new rule
Don't pick up the phone cuz he's all gonna tell me to diet and exercise because I know I'm going to be with it, open it up. Two, don't pick up the phone because he's only going to tell you to diet and exercise.
Three, don't pick up the phone because he's only going to tell you to diet and exercise.
Four, don't pick up the phone because he's only going to tell you to diet and exercise.
Five, don't pick up the phone because he's only going to tell you to diet and exercise.
Six, don't pick up the phone because he's only going to tell you to diet and exercise.
Seven, don't pick up the phone because he's only going to tell you to diet and exercise. How many rolls does she have Dua Lipa?
I think 10.
I love her by the way.
I love her.
Well, she just got engaged, Paul.
I'm so sorry to have to bring the news to you.
No, my second part was so much, I'm going to marry her.
She was my backup plan.
I really like that she sang a duet
with Chris Stapleton, the countryman.
Oh, I don't know that I've heard that.
It's very good.
It's just sexy.
Oh, is it sexy?
And then she was also, it's a very sexy song.
Is it as sexy as, what's her name singing?
Oh, I Feel Love.
Who was that?
I Feel Love. Donna Summer.
I Feel Love.
I think it's sexier than that
because it's a man and a woman singing
and not just a solo person.
Yeah.
Who's like, I'll take your word for it.
You know, John Early sang that song in his special,
I feel love, and it was really fun.
I did know that.
Yeah, his special was great.
Yes.
Yeah.
He sings four songs in it, I believe.
It's really, really delightful.
Yeah.
I'm glad you guys had so much fun.
I had a blast.
I had a blast watching this special.
I was like, fuck yeah, while I was watching it.
I'm gonna look up the name of the song.
Do you watch stand-up specials regularly? I do for the- I have it in was watching. I'm gonna look up the name of the song. Do you watch standup specials regularly?
I do for the-
I have it in a while.
For the Comedy Bang Bang show.
Yeah, because you often have people as a guest.
Yes, and I try to watch them
and sometimes I get them very late in the process
and I can't, but yeah, I try to.
I watch a lot, I watch a lot.
I like to see what's going on.
Sure, yeah.
What's going on in the microphone business?
I like to keep tabs, you know? Oh look, this is a new microphone. Oh, someone going on in the microphone business? I like to keep tabs. Oh look, this is a new microphone.
Oh, someone going on with this microphone. Oh, they have a blue one.
Oh, and he and then that one.
And that person did cordless.
I think every...
I'm trying to think if there's been a stand-up special recently
where someone had a cord and it would only be because the person
does some sort of physical bit with the cord where they're pretending
to whip someone or something. Right. That's the only thing it could be. Paul, what are you looking up? I'm
looking up the song. It's called Think I'm in Love with You. I'm going to send it to you guys to
watch at your leisure. But I also really liked her on that Recess Therapy Instagram account. Reeses?
What's that? Peaces has gone into therapy. First of all, it's Reese's Peaces, as everyone account. Reeses? What's that? Is gone into therapy?
First of all, it's Reese's Pieces, as everyone knows.
Recess therapy is this guy who interviews little kids.
Oh yeah, I've seen that.
And it's really funny and cute.
Yeah.
And so sometimes he has a celebrity join him
because people love this account.
This is like a,
carpool karaoke?
Duh.
Can I just say, when you said Reese's Pieces, normally I had like a visceral reaction against
that and I just right now thought, it's kind of cute to say that.
It is cute.
I just kind of went, you know, just, that's fine.
Paul's turned you around on this.
I love that.
Reese's Pieces.
Maybe I'll call it that.
It's fun to say.
Yeah.
It's fun to say.
You've been radicalized.
I spent a lot of years being mad at you guys for saying that.
No. Why didn't you ever say anything?
And saying, the commercial says Reese's, you fucking idiots.
So you've been sitting here mad at us for years?
Yeah.
You say Reese's Peesies?
So what, it's a-T?
T?
The extraterrestrial?
T?
So you think just across the board, there's one rule.
Doesn't make sense. One rule, one. Cause also- Don't pick up the phone, Tea
I'll do a leap. Oh, you got a fan and Paul of Tompkins true do up
Dua Dua Dua, but she was very she's very charming and a great voice, but like not just a great singing voice, but a great speaking
voice as well.
What if you did like a Pitbull song at your next veritopia?
Pitbull?
Pitbull.
Do you think she does cameos?
I was just like constantly big upping Miami.
Yeah.
That would be really funny.
Could I buy?
A place I've never been.
And you're not performing there?
I'm never going.
But that would be really funny.
It would be really funny.
Think about that.
I'd like to buy you a cameo. No, you don't have have to I'd like to buy you a cameo from Dua Lipa
I hope she makes cameos. Do you think she does? No, I don't come on. What up? It's a little extra cash
Who do you think is the person?
Who absolutely does not need to be making me make me as it is. Oh, there's a bunch on there
Yeah, who let's let see. Let's see.
Richest person who still does cameo.
Yeah, because you can't go by highest rate, highest charge, because that's not...
I'll tell you somebody who shouldn't be bothering is Brian Cox, because I saw on the cameo page...
Who's that?
The guy from Succession.
Oh, he's wonderful.
Oh yeah, he does cameos?
Yes, he does.
What?
It's something for him to do, it is.
Here's what he does.
The dance stage.
Yeah, you know, he's a star of a had something for him to do. It is. Here's what he does.
Advanced age.
He's a star of a great show and probably another one already.
He has his wife or somebody print out the information that they once said, and then
he just like reads it.
Now, I understand that you got a promotion at work.
You also always throw in a fuck off at the end.
I love it.
I think he's literally in a terrible hotel that I stayed in in Atlanta. He's literally, that's the ceiling I stared up at
because I thought it was plywood.
He stared up.
I literally, I think that's where he is.
By the way.
By the way, you could tell it's a great angle
if you could see the ceiling in a canyon.
It's up his nose.
Hey, what?
Pick up your phone, much like Dua Lipa's hand.
One, pick up the phone.
We don't want to see the ceiling in. You're sad and alone.
He might've stopped doing it
because I can't click to his page anymore.
The AI overview tells me that Kevin O'Leary
is probably the richest person who,
he charges $1,500.
Who is he?
Oh, Mr. Fucking One.
Mr. Fucking One.
God, I hate that fucking guy.
Oh, I was picturing the actor Dennis.
Hey, Kevin O'Leary, fuck you.
But if we do go on Shark Tank with Pac-Man 8,
obviously we want you to buy.
Yeah, he's definitely gotta be the richest person.
What if we go on Shark Tank with a website?
But he's all about business.
What are you selling?
So he's just going, who cares?
It's a website.
We made this website.
You can leave a voicemail anytime you want.
To him, that's just another investment, I would say.
But I'm curious about an actor where you're like,
you know what, they're cool.
They do a lot of great work.
They don't need extra cash.
They could be perfectly fine with whatever they have.
Because I feel like he's somebody
where enough is never enough.
I feel like Kevin O'Leary is doing it
for the fame aspect of it.
Like, oh, you know.
My personality is the winner here, yes. Like, oh, yeah. My personality is the winner winner here.
Yeah. Yeah.
I'm Mr. Wonderful.
Yes.
Other individuals with significant wealth
who have made appearances on Cameo
include Mark Lassery, co-founder of Avenue Capital.
What's that?
Oh, what the fuck?
I don't know.
Is it a mortgage company?
Just some business dude.
Here's the most expensive ones.
Mariano Rivera from the New York Yankees.
How much?
Five time World Series champion, $750.
It's expensive.
I'm going to go down to the bottom of the list because it looks like.
It's an investment.
Caitlyn Jenner.
Why are you nudifying your bottle?
I like to.
He tore the wrapper off his bottle and made it nude.
It looks like some severance food.
It does look like severance food.
Just like a white bottle of liquid.
You'd only get it at the severance factory.
Here's lunch.
Yeah.
You can get it at home.
Kevin Lingenner, $2,500.
Fuck off.
Fuck off.
Fuck off.
Kevin O'Leary, $1,500.
Kevin Smith, $999. Juicy J, $900. Kevin Smith, $999. Juicy J, $900. Nigel Lithgow, so you think you can dance, Judge,
$1000.
Recently me tooed.
Yes, Michael.
Is that true?
Hey, tell me about being me tooed.
For $1000, dear.
Could you meet to my friend at his birthday?
Can you shout out Paula Abdul, who you supposedly harassed Michael Beasley?
Pro basketball player. Brian Cox is $689.
Wow. I think he's off it because I tried to click to his page.
And I said, oh, this is interesting. Chris Diamantopoulos.
Oh, that guy. Yeah. $399.
How much did you charge for? But when I first started, I charged $50. That was $399. How much did you charge for?
When I first started, I charged $50. That was a huge mistake. Huge mistake. Cause then I had a million to do.
That shows you the problem that I have with my self-worth.
And then I eventually raised it to 250 and was still getting like a bunch.
I was really surprised that people had disposable income.
You want to make it so high that no one ever orders it.
I don't want to do that.
But you don't want to do it all day long either.
You know what? Maybe I'm going to get back into cameo and raise money for my eye surgery.
Yes, please Paul. I was going to say that.
I was going to say that we should have a cameo day.
Intentional use.
Where we set up a studio for you and like a camera and all this kind of stuff
and you can just bang them out. Just boom, boom, boom.
Absolutely.
We'll make it a big fundraiser day.
That'll be so fun.
If we make it, I think it should be at least.
I'm glad you said that.
Yeah, make it 250, but you explain what the goal is.
Yes, and you always mention your eyes
at some point during the camera.
Should I look sort of unfocused at the camera
to make it look like, oh man, he really needs this.
Yeah.
Definitely.
Yeah.
Z-Way, a thousand dollars.
That checks out. That seems good.
And Ice-T, 600?
Wow.
Z-Way, how do you feel about charging 400 more than Ice-T?
Come on. Z-Way.
One of the OGs in the game.
Z-Way.
Z-Way being a thousand makes sense.
I think that's a perfect use for the way her humor,
you know, it's funny to make it a thousand dollars.
Drewbreeze, 900.
Okay.
John Daly, golfer John Daly, we should.
Ribbit and ribbit.
800, yeah.
So I don't know, those are some of the most expensive,
according to this website from over a year ago.
Okay.
Now, when you, when AI overview comes up on Google,
I need to put in minus AI.
Yeah. How do we, so for every search you have to put minus AI.
I was thinking, can you just disable it?
There's probably some sort of setting.
There's other browsers where you can disable it or search on the screen to disable it.
But, um, so that's, that is using water every time.
Every time you search for something with Google.
Yeah. And AI overview comes.
Oh, really? Well, that's what I'm kind of everything uses water.
It's just how much not the ocean. That's true.
I got you here.
I'm going to Google water.
I'm going to put all this doesn't all how anything that's hooked up to electricity and power.
Oh, it's so much more pleasant to have that minus AI.
Because it's always written so dumb and it's always like,
water is a thing that people need and it's like, shush your face.
Shush your face.
Shush your face AI.
This is much nicer.
It's how we use to do it.
Let's do away with the letters AI in general.
Okay.
Well, then we wouldn't have the wonderful punctuation on the song the Macarena. And your name would be Paul. No, we yeah, we're PUL. PUL. Oh, so we're
getting both A and I. Yeah. Not just a combination. Not the combination though. Someone made Lurin Lucas. Your name would be Scott Kerman.
Uckerman, Uckerman, Uckerman, Uckerman, Uckerman.
Yeah, I do it for to save the planet.
I don't mind Paul Pio. Yeah, I guess I don't mind that.
I don't mind Paul. Great poll.
I have my bowl and learn.
No, I don't learn.
Good pole pole. Wait, I also lose the eye in Tompkins.
Tompkins.
But you can still pronounce it Tompkins.
Like the weekend.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
It was so sad.
You know, that movie put out that was universally panned.
He was I went just before after the idol.
A few weeks ago.
You dumb fool.
Oh, I didn't hear about that.
People don't like you doing these things.
Yeah, he made a movie with Jenna Ortega.
And I never heard of that.
And so Cool Up and I were walking down Hollywood Boulevard
because we had just seen another movie.
Was this just the other day?
It was just the other day.
We just had seen the new Mission Impossible
and we passed a big.
It's called Hurry Up Tomorrow.
Hurry Up Tomorrow.
We passed a big- It's called Hurry Up Tomorrow. Hurry Up Tomorrow. We passed a big activation
that had taken over a huge lot on this corner
of Hollywood Boulevard with like a giant blow up thing
of the weekend and all this kind of stuff.
What blow up thing?
You don't mean like an inflatable.
I think something like that.
I forgot.
I just didn't even really clock what it was
because as
We were passing by there was a security guard who was practically begging people to come inside
He was like he asked us he's like do you want to come inside and take any pictures with this?
Is that where you were no this is on Hollywood they the Hollywood Boulevard. They had so many, when I went to the movies,
they had so many huge cutouts for each movie
that the whole lobby was like full of them.
Yeah, there's like a thunderbolt swan of the growth.
I guess they just want us to post it on Instagram
and spread the word.
Well, it's why-
Which is, when you think about it,
they don't-
We're not gonna do that job for them.
They don't invite like celebrities
to movie premieres anymore, They just invite influencers now.
Really?
Because they know they'll, they need contents,
although be posting themselves on the red carpet
and go like, look where I am.
That makes sense.
And so it's just, they just have nights for influencers.
Did you see that thing where studios are renting studios
to influencers now?
To like content creators?
Because no, because it's too expensive to, yeah.
And they just have these buildings.
Dude, it's such a doubt. It's such a downer.
We are in a bad era.
Truly. You know what I like to say? It's the worst timeline.
Uh, yeah, that's funny. You should tweet that.
I hate this timeline.
I do hate this timeline.
You're so funny, Paul.
You're so funny. I'm just
like flabbergasted sometimes with how funny you are. Really? Thank you. It's crazy. The
connections you make. The connections I make. For example, that one. Per ejemplo. That's
crazy. That's crazy, Paul. Whatever it was that you said. Wow, that's crazy.
Wow, that's crazy.
When do you want to set up this cameo day, Paul?
I was paying attention to you.
No, I think it is a good idea.
We'll rent a studio,
because apparently they're really cheap,
and we'll say you're an influencer.
Let's do it at Paramount Pictures.
You're not gonna do it all in one day.
It's gonna take place over the course of a month.
No, we want to bust these out in one day with you,
but I need you to do it for 24 hours straight.
Oh, so like you rack them up
and you don't film them until then?
Until you have them all. Yeah, exactly.
And then we just bust them out.
Boom, boom, boom, boom.
So let's see, how much is the surgery?
Yeah, the surgery is $8,400 an eyeball.
Times two, so it's 16, so $1,700.
Yeah, $1,700 with the tip.
But is that including anesthesia?
Is anesthesia included?
No, $17,000. $17,000 with tip. Right, is anesthesia included?,000 17,000 with tip right is anesthesia included
1700 I do it tomorrow is anesthesia included in the cost. Yes, everything's included except except the lens
So let's just make it 20,000 because whatever
You're gonna you get some uber eats
You have to do 40 times 20 is? Four times two is eight.
I'm going to be reimbursed for all those glasses I've worn over the years.
Eight hundred.
It's eight hundred.
So you need to do eight hundred of these.
Oh my god.
Is that right?
Should we make it cost more?
Twenty thousand dollars.
Why are you making it forty?
Divided by two hundred and fifty.
Where are you getting forty?
Eighty.
You need to do eighty.
Jesus Christ.
What did we just say? Eight hundred? Yeah. You need to do 80. Jesus Christ. What did we just say? 800? Yeah. Yeah. You need to do eight.
I'll just take my eyes out.
No, 80 is 80. Who took his eyes out? Me, me, me, me.
80 is reasonable. 80 is reasonable. I could do 80.
So let's make it, let's make it a goal. And we need all the piss pigs to unite.
We need 80 piss pigs who are willing to part with $250 for a good cause.
And you can always know that when Paul sees you played a role in that,
whenever I read a sign, it's because of you. Yeah.
And I think we really cat calls a woman walking down the street.
I would love it. He could do that with his blind. They just wouldn't know.
Hey, I'm blind over here.
I think you're hot.
Whoever you are across the street.
It's like whistle and then go, I'm assuming. Um,
I really want to unite the piss pigs. Yeah. So not just for this.
I think because I've wanted to for a while, but I didn't, we didn't have a car.
There's too much division and I hate, I hate it. I hate it.
We have, you know, far more than 80 listeners, but probably 80, I think who are out there who are going,
I have 250 and I want to do this.
So if you're listening, that's you.
I bet there's probably one listener out there
who would pay the whole 20.
Well, if you, and Cameo, can you pay more than the cost?
What if it's Mr. Wonderful?
Kevin O'Leary, I know he said some mean things
about you earlier.
Oh, and cameo probably-
With how we think you're a piece of shit.
Wait, cameo probably takes a cut.
Cameo probably takes a cut.
So you have to account for that.
I think I said you're definitely going to hell.
How much does cameo take?
Oh yeah, what's cameo's cut?
We have to account for that.
We do have to account for that, yeah.
I think they take 95%.
Why are you doing this?
Cause that 5%
Let's get this going. In fact,
maybe by the time this comes out, because this is July 10th, we should,
we should have it in place. We should have the plan.
Yeah. I have some time over the summer.
Do I have an end date of like, like September? September 12th. Okay. Your Okay. Yeah. Okay. I have some, I have some time over the summer. End date of like, like September, September 12th.
Okay. Your birthday. Yeah. Okay. So, so from now till September 12th,
let's order these cameos. Should we save them all up for one day?
So you'll have to get it all set back up with cameo.
You're going to do them one at a time. Can you just like, um,
I'll do them over the course of a few days. Can you just like,
80 in one day.
You should do them as they come in. They're only two minutes minutes do them as they come in. You don't want to be overwhelmed
But do you have to tell him you're doing this or just turn it?
When I was in the fucking $50 ones, I was in a hotel room going insane. I like joined cameo
Put it up like $50 took a flight
Cross-country and then got there to like a million fucking
Oh my god
I sat in a hotel room for like two days doing these things
Like you're in naked lunch or something
You didn't get to go see anything cool
Would you rub some of that powder on my lips
Can you just turn back on your page?
Okay so we're gonna do this
What's that? I turned my page back on
You can just choose to do that at any time So Yes. Okay, great. So July 10th,
we are announcing it here. Paul's going to, Paul's going to do this and hopefully by September 12th,
80 of you will have done this. And then will you schedule the surgery on before Christmas?
Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Great. I will have to check and see what the recovery period is. They do one eye at a time. Okay. Okay.
Which is more than fair.
Yeah, you want to be able to see.
Like in case they poke one in.
Would you get the surgery on Christmas Eve
if it were available?
Scrooge style?
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, the second eye.
I would time the second eye to get done on Christmas Eve.
Okay, great.
That's one of the interesting notes.
Paul's promise.
You get one fixed and then you have glasses in one eye.
So what are you gonna do?
How are you gonna, you have to get glasses with one lens.
I'll poke the lens out.
Yeah. Yeah.
You'll look stupid, but that's fine.
Hey, no one will know.
All right, we have to take a break,
but we're gonna do this.
We're gonna do this.
All right, we'll be right back.
We're not involved at all.
Guys there's someone I want to introduce you to.
Okay, who?
J-Lab.
Oh, is that you misspoken you're saying J-Lo right?
No no no.
Really?
No, you're incorrect.
Okay.
And no, it's not my girlfriend. I'm happily married. Thank you. Okay
It's Jay don't have a side piece
Okay, J lab tell me about Jay, what is J lab they are headphones and speakers as vibrant as your summer
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I got some of these.
Oh, so you know!
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Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or like sunset jamming sessions.
We all do those.
Or sunset jamming sessions.
You're telling me something I already know,
because I recently got a pair of J-Lab's J-Buds Lux Over-Ear Headphones
in the color cloud, which was honestly the perfect gray.
It's what I got.
It's chic, it's cool.
Yeah.
Yeah, well, they've been the perfect companion for my summer travel, because let me tell you, It's perfect gray. It's everything. It's chic. It's cool. Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, they've been the perfect companion for my summer travel because let me tell you,
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These are things that make it much easier to travel.
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I could not fold my other ones.
I love to fold them. And the best part, they fold up. That's what I love. I could not fold my other ones. I love to fold them.
And they actually connect. Unlike remember when we were on tour last year, Paul, and
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Yeah, yeah. They were really mad at those aliens.
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Yeah.
And this is very exciting.
It's July 10th.
Of course, it's a week after my birthday.
How was your birthday in your mind?
Yeah, tell me.
In my mind, it was great because there are currently,
as we're recording this, no plans to do anything special
and I don't know whether that will change.
Now, do you like that or do you not like that?
I kind of like that because it's like,
the idea of getting older in a birthday to me
is like such a bummer that who needs to celebrate it.
But you know, who knows, maybe I'll go see
that Jurassic Park movie that comes out on my birthday.
Don't be bummed.
How are they still making them?
Don't be bummed about getting older.
Why is that dear?
Because the alternative is to die.
Yes.
Now, correct me if I'm wrong.
It seems to me that since, ever since the third,
no, I'm gonna say.
They made six prior to this movie.
So the third, OK, so it was Jurassic Park, the first one.
It's like we did.
Classic. Stunt called classic.
We made dinosaurs. Uh oh.
Yeah. There's problems.
Yeah.
We didn't. We shouldn't have done this.
We didn't foresee this.
Second one, they say, hey, there's still all those fucking dinosaurs running around there.
We're going to get some.
Yeah, and then it's like an extraction team, but it's not like the parks open or anything like that.
No, no, no, no. Then the third one I think is still them going back
because there's... Don't... San O'Neill is back. I think we figured it out. We got it now. It's good.
No, I don't... I actually don't remember. It's my least favorite, I think. But I know they go back
and they're still like, now there's pterodactyls and stuff flying around. Which is the one that
has the gymnastics?
Gymnastics?
Who's doing gymnastics?
Jeff Goldblum's daughter.
She does gymnastics to run away from a velociraptor.
What?
I swear to God.
I don't remember that.
I don't remember this.
I swear to God.
What happens in the fourth one?
So then the, well, Lauren's in it.
But they got the-
Is that the fourth one?
Yeah.
They got the park back up and running.
Now velociraptors can be trained to do tricks.
Yes.
And they're but but they're like, you know what?
This park idea is still a good idea.
Yeah.
Instead of like making these dinosaurs, you know, go into other countries and fight our
wars for us.
Let's make it a big let's make it a big theme park.
Why didn't we just turn them loose on other countries?
Yes.
They decimate the population.
We walk in.
We're hailed as heroes with garlands of flowers.
So then the second one, I think the park
is closed at that point.
But now they're auctioning off dinosaurs
to the heads of other countries.
And they figured out we can clone humans.
Oh, I forgot about that aspect.
Remember the girl, like Hammond's granddaughter or whatever is a clone.
And they figured out it doesn't.
I don't remember that.
I just crazy.
I just remember the auction, like the first, the starting bid for one of these
dinosaurs, I remember being shockingly low.
Well, we've got a lot of products.
I know, but it's like, really?
That's $250.
Yeah. I know, but it's like really? That's $250.
And then this, the last one prior to this one is they go back to the island for some reason,
is all the old people and the new people together. Jeff Goldblum's back.
Oh, Laura Dern, Chanel. And now this one, what is it?
And Lauren has glimpsed briefly in that.
On an ID card, which I yeah that yeah um which I
learned when it came out sure I'd love to be in it again yeah sure me too and now this one look I
think these movies are dumb put me in one my character survived so I'm willing to work there
again exactly yeah and then this one we don't know what your character would go back to work
for this corporation you don't know what's gone down in the last 10 years. Has it been 10 years?
It came out in 2015.
Wow.
Happy anniversary.
Thank you.
The 10th anniversary of you and Jurassic Park.
I know.
I can't believe it.
Wow.
No one can.
No one can.
It's unbelievable.
Oh!
Some might say it's crumb-believable.
It's crumb-believable.
Let's go run you to Crumble!
Of course, that's from Kraft Macaroni with crumbs on it.
Not cookies, as we like to say every time.
Kraft Macaroni with crumbs.
We clarify that constantly
and people are arguing with us constantly about it
and we're like, guys, we know what we're talking about.
We're experts, we're on a podcast.
It's Kraft Macaroni with crumbs on it.
With crumbs, God.
The other day, Emmy and I were at,
I picked her up from school and then we went to Coffee Bean
and I got her an orange.
No tea leaf?
It also had a tea leaf in there,
but she was so excited to get an orange juice
in the middle of the day.
She was dancing and...
Dancing!
Dancing in the store and everything.
And then she saw Albertson's, which is a grocery store,
a local grocery store, across the parking lot.
She hadn't seen it, like getting out of the car
or going to the thing, but she saw it and she gasped.
And she said, do they have crunchies in there?
Which is what she calls croutons.
Oh my God.
She has croutons. Oh my God.
Yeah.
I mean, she likes them fine.
That's really funny.
She part duck.
I think she might be part duck.
Like a quarter duck.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Anyway, that's adorable.
That's seeing the world through the child.
Do they have crunchies there? I was like, yeah, we're not getting them right now.
Not only do they have crunchies.
That was fun.
That was fun with her too.
She was like, OK.
She just wanted to know where they were.
Just wanted to know where they are.
They're in there.
Look, I thought because I'm having an orange juice
in the middle of the day that all bets were off today,
but I guess not.
I thought maybe some crunchies could happen.
I'm psychotic because I asked if the crunchies were there.
Oh, and it's walkable?
OK, but yeah.
We could just go across and get the crunchies.
But I can't have them. Because I'm weird. Yeah.
There is a picture of her dancing, uh, or just dancing in her chair.
Very excited to have this.
She's so fun. And that was, that was me taking a secret. That's not her posing.
That's, that's her doing actual. She's looking directly at the camera.
I think she's noticing that I am.
Okay, great story.
All right.
You asked her to do that.
You're right.
Protector dancing.
We're not even a coffee game.
You took the orange juice away just for the picture.
This is a green screen too.
Wow.
That's so sad that you felt the need to do that.
I just did because I wanted you guys to think I'm cool.
That's what you chose to do.
Yeah.
All right.
I voted for the Emmys yesterday.
Oh, I did this recently.
As a member of the television academy.
And what do I get out of that?
Well, I'll tell you, I get to spend money.
I was going to say, because mine last vote for the Emmys.
Mine last and I didn't renew it.
And I'm, but then I'm, when you said that I felt jealous, but then I thought, but what?
I'm just be paying to vote for the Emmys.
Here's what you're missing.
I like to vote though.
I like to have my voice heard.
Oh, sure.
And you get to see what you're missing is you get to see the same five names over and
over and over again.
Yes.
I, I, I never vote for the popular thing anymore because it's like, it's wasting your vote.
Well, if it's already won a bunch, I'd like to let something else win.
I vote for genuinely things that I think are good.
Yeah.
And I also realized, well, I'm not going to, you can vote in some categories, you can vote
for seven things.
Yeah.
I'm like, well, I'm not going to do that.
Right.
You don't have to vote for seven things.
Right.
You're just watering it down.
Yeah.
We had a whole system when something we made was eligible of like, tell all your friends,
like only vote for us and you can't vote for anything else because that splits the vote.
Yes.
You know, so and it worked.
We got a few noms here and there.
Nice stuff.
Nice stuff.
It's good stuff.
Nice stuff.
Well, congratulations on being, you know,
a member of society.
And also with you.
Yeah.
That's great, Paul.
We live in a society is what you were trying to say.
We live in a society?
What is that from?
Is that from Seinfeld?
No, it's like a Joker meme.
It is a Joker meme.
Is that where it comes from?
I thought maybe it was what Nicole Kidman said
at the beginning of the AMC.
I'm going to explain this.
Please don't be going to the, we live in a society.
Me explained.
I love meme explainers. It's so even things I know,
it's funny to just read the descriptions of them.
But I think, I think that, uh, uh, what's his name? Who made the,
the Snyder cut?
Zach Snyder. Yeah. What if his name was something else? He just called the the Snyder cut? Zack Snyder? Zack Snyder, yeah.
He put...
What if his name was something else he just called it the Snyder cut?
He put the Joker in his Snyder cut saying we live in a society as a nod to the meme, I think.
Didn't he? I don't know.
Hold on a second. It's just purely from a meme?
It can't be.
Yes.
Why would that catch on?
It's always associated with the Joker.
It would be something he said.
Yeah.
Somebody wrote this for the Joker to say in a meme?
Okay, it's early.
Because it's not like a funny thing to say in a meme.
The earliest trace of its origins can be found on Hong Kong based meme site NineGag in April
2015.
I'm actually familiar with NineGag.
This is in the form of an image macro of the Joker accompanied by the caption,
when the nice guy loses his patience, the devil shivers.
Oh, true.
This particular meme struck gold for a few reasons.
Firstly, the whole nice guys finish last gamer incel superiority complex
has long been a running joke in the commentary of nine gag.
Yeah, a joke.
been a running joke in the commentary of nine gag. Yeah, a joke.
Anyway, then what happens?
This is far too long.
I don't want to read 80 paragraphs about this.
I feel like it had something to do with George Costanza.
Did Seinfeld predict the we live in a society meme?
You're right.
Okay, the Chinese restaurant episode.
Didn't predict the meme.
It doesn't predict it.
It would have been pulled from that.
Yes.
Okay. Then there's 15 paragraphs about Seinfeld
and its popularity.
God damn it.
I don't need the history of society.
This is obviously read by AI.
I want the whole internet deleted.
Here's what I'm guessing.
I'm going to guess this.
In that episode, George Costanza says,
we live in a society.
Like, we live in a society.
And then somebody said, wouldn't it
be funny if the Joker said that?
Yeah.
The end.
That's it.
And that's pretty much how memes go.
This is literally 30 paragraphs later.
He yells this in the Chinese restaurant.
He says, we're living in a society.
Mm-hmm.
Sorry?
Ha ha ha ha!
Fucking shit.
I wish this was on microfiche.
This is the longest article ever.
Wait, did Zack Snyder really put this meme into Justice League?
Yes, and the internet went crazy.
Who played Joker in the Justice League?
Jared Leto. Oh, good for him.
Because he did it in Suicide Squad, where he sent.
Is that a Snyder joint?
No, but it was in the universe.
So he. But I mean, they change out who plays these people all the fucking time.
Well, not for this, Paul.
Now, all the Snyder guys, by the way, Superman opens tomorrow.
All the Snyder bros are trying to review bomb it.
Like that'll work to get the Snyder verse back?
No.
Who, what are you doing everybody?
What are you doing with your life?
What am I doing with my life?
Talking about it.
What's wrong with you?
What are any of us doing?
What are any of us doing?
I missed that one time I got to talk about
and just like that.
All right, you guys go ahead.
You guys go ahead.
We've been talking about,
we live in a society name for a while.
You guys talk about and just like that.
Okay, there was a meme in the episode
where Miranda was made into a meme.
That's true.
And she was struggling because-
Miranda, the character was turned into a famous meme?
Like yes.
Yes, she got memed because she said the word
see you next Tuesday on the news by mistake.
I thought a meme was more like a picture of someone.
They kept calling it a meme, but I mean, it was a-
It's more like a, she went viral, it was a viral clip.
Yeah, yeah.
But people were like remixing it and stuff.
There were probably stitches that were incoming.
Okay.
But remember like the girl who's in that meme of the,
she's kind of confused.
And then the next one, she goes, oh.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like they saw her at a concert or something about a year ago.
Who's they?
When I say they, I mean they-
The woke mind police.
No, they panned to her on the big screen.
Well, she's like a comedian.
Right, and she had to do it.
And yeah, and everyone cheered.
I mean, that's funny.
That's funny.
She was on Kayla Herron's podcast.
Oh, good. Was she really? I've never even been on it. I'll just seek that's funny. That's funny. She was on Kayla Herron's podcast. Oh, good.
Was she really?
I've never even been on it.
I'll just seek out that episode.
It was funny.
Kayla's podcast is really good.
Yes, it is.
Should this be a meme?
That should be a meme.
Yeah, I'm showing the picture of Emmy dancing again.
TFW, you have orange juice during the day.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That feeling when you know there's crunchies
across the street.
All right, well, we're going to take a break.
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The real reason we stopped doing the thremiums,
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And people said, if you don't stop doing these thremiums,
we're gonna kill your family.
Now that's interesting.
And we were like our whole family,
cause there's certain people.
Pretty extreme.
Honestly, I wouldn't mind.
If I could direct your gaze over that. I got a lot of family, you know what people, honestly I wouldn't mind if I could direct your gaze.
I got a lot of family, you know what I mean?
I wouldn't miss a few of them.
But then they were like, no, we're talking.
Yeah, we're talking about your entire family.
And we tried to bargain with them.
And we said, what if we do five more thremiums
and you just beat up our families?
Yeah.
And they said, no.
And we said, what if we do 10 more thremiums and you just push some of our family down the
stairs? Yeah. And then they say, however they fare, how that's up to them.
And they said, no, they would not budge. They wouldn't budge.
They were the greatest negotiators I've ever dealt with. Yeah.
It was incredible. Honestly. I liked watching you guys negotiate.
Can I tell you a fun negotiating story?
Yeah. Yeah.
That it's one of those stories where if you hear it and you think,
oh, wow, that sounds cool. And then you think about it a little bit.
It doesn't hold up.
This guy has a meeting with a toothpaste company
where he says, I have a way to increase your sales.
You know, blah, blah, blah.
You're going to make this much more money,
but I'm not going to tell you what it is until you give me
first you have to give me like $5 million.
And then I'll tell you this, this way that you can do this.
Okay.
So they grant him his request and he goes into this meeting
and he says
Increase the diameter of the opening of the tube
by you know
0.2 inches right and then he leaves
And it's like it sounds like oh wow what a cool story
Well, of course it didn't happen because nobody's gonna give you fucking $5 billion
for nothing.
Yeah.
And then you just say, make the opening bigger.
This is a fake story?
It's a fake story.
Oh.
This is a fake story?
But it was told to me like it was a real story
that was gonna blow my mind.
Right.
I have heard stories about-
I kinda love that shit.
Yeah, but then they were like, I'm just kidding.
No, no, this person believed it.
Oh.
Or, either they believed it,
or they believed that I would believe it.
So none of this happened.
So this didn't happen.
This is a fake story.
No, this didn't happen.
No, no person told you this?
Yeah, no one told you this?
And then what you're revealing is that that was fake?
I just made it up.
And you're making up right now that you made it up?
Yeah.
Which is actually true. I, it's actually true.
I read it in a book.
I have heard about people stealing money, like bank.
I've heard of people doing that too.
I've heard I hear about this.
The Joker.
We live in just the side.
Yeah, I've heard of that.
No, but I've heard something about like ransoms
or money where they say, they catch the person
or whatever and the person goes like, you know what?
I could either go to jail or I'll give you half of it back.
And the people usually take half of it back.
What?
Is this the fucking guy who haggles with the grocery store?
I know.
Right. This is what I've heard of him. Who's this? I'll give you 50. What is this the fucking guy who haggles with the grocery store?
Who's there? I'll give you a 50.
Like the bank. It's like the banks or the whatever. I don't even know what it is, but, but my friend's father, who's a businessman, was telling us this about,
about, uh,
how crimes are usually resolved with the person just going like negotiating how
much they're gonna get absolutely
Just telling you what I heard like the
Hey, don't you the messenger?
The bank would say you know what yeah, we'll take half the money back
I mean if the other option is sending you to jail we want to make sure you're free you you just admitted that you did
this
And it's insured I know it doesn't make any sense. We caught you.
And it's insured.
I know it doesn't make sense, but this is apparently what happens.
I guess like if you're that well liked at the bank, we're like, ah, you're one of our
favorites.
Can I just keep half and then I just won't go to jail?
All right.
What if it was I give it all back?
I wish you hadn't done this.
Yeah.
I know me too.
Although I'm kind of happy I did because I got 50% of the money.
No, sure. But we will take that offer, yes.
We'll take half the money.
Well, in any case, guys,
we're doing our VMs on the TMS here.
And these are messages that you send to us.
That's voicemails on the Toysmails.
On our famous website, hackclaims8.com.
Yes.
Which is not even, I mean, I feel like it's reductive
to even call it a website at this point
because it's so much more.
It's a lifestyle.
It's so much more. It's a lifestyle.
It's so much more. But you guys know that already because you've already signed up and we thank you so much.
Yeah.
We've entered the wellness sphere.
And what do we offer? We offer a website where you can leave a voice.
Kevin O'Leary, you listening? Or is it Leary?
Sharks, my pitch to you today on behalf of my two friends is a website called HagClaims8.com.
All right.
We're going to hear this one and here we go.
Hey, Freedom Gay.
It's Shelby from Evanston, Illinois.
My hometown.
Shout out to Lauren.
Thank you.
I know she's from here.
I just moved up here from Chicago to open up my little
embroidery business. If y'all ever need an embroidery, shameless plug.
Cool.
But I just left a message previously about Echo Valley on Apple TV Plus. I thought it
was a show, but it is a movie.
I was expecting more episodes.
We didn't hear this.
But after an hour and a half, I was like,
what am I doing here?
It was just a movie.
But there was a point in the movie where Julianne Moore
was canoeing out into the water.
Oh, now I know what she's talking about.
And was looking for something that she put in there.
Spoiler alert. And all I could think was she's looking for something. She's looking for something.
Dead body. Again, spoiler alert. So my question is, is there anything that you guys would jump into the water to look
for if you had dropped it into deep water?
What a fun question.
Obviously there's wedding ring situations and things like that.
There's always wedding ring situations.
But, I don't know, what do y'all think?
I wouldn't, I don't like deep water
and can't swim super well, so.
Hey.
She speaks for me.
So you won't do what we're supposed to?
Love you guys, you guys make my week better every week.
Aw, thank you, Shelby.
So, love you guys, thanks.
First of all, great name, Shelby.
Love it, great town. She sounds Love it. Yeah. Great town.
She sounds like she could be a nighttime DJ.
Yes. Totally.
Like this one goes out to Lauren from Mike. Mike says, I'm sorry, I'm not a better husband.
But what did you expect?
I have to say, there's not much that I could ever, first of all, I just wouldn't, I'm not capable,
but would I even send someone else to do it?
There's not much that I would need that badly.
Like Mike lost his wedding ring in Lake Michigan
a few summers ago.
And we looked for it for a bit,
cause it would have been-
Then why is it on my hand?
It was possible that it could have been washing up to shore
from where he was, like, or, you know,
it was like not too far out that he had happened.
So we were kind of like looking by the,
it was a feudal, you know, attempt,
but we just bought a new one once we were able to do that.
But it was just-
What about family albums?
Why would it drop into the ocean?
Because you-
You stupidly took it on a boat.
You dumb dumb.
I mean, I guess I would feel scared and sad, but I'd be like, it's ruined now.
That's a waterproof family album.
Then I might have somebody jump down.
What if it's in a bag, but that bag is full of rocks?
Well then it might land in a place where it could be found pretty easily.
So good.
So good for the person who has to go down.
What about you guys?
You know, I found recently with the fires when we evacuated, we were trying to figure
out like what to take.
And I really there was not a lot.
Same.
I know it's weird how you kind of go, I guess that I would just have to, I mean, be sad
and really hard, but I would be able to.
Everything could technically be replaced.
So I took, I took my computer because you know, that's where, that's where I live.
That's where your current ideas are.
That's where you're hearing me out of.
Yeah.
But no, that had, you know, that has like my music on it and scripts and stuff like
that.
Although, you know, all that could be backed up.
But I didn't even take the hard drives that have all of the comedy
bang bang stuff in it, which I should have.
We feel like we talked about this. Yeah, I had like a couple of boxes.
You hose them down every night. Oh, yeah.
Just to keep them damp.
I have boxes of like some mementos that I would want.
But I you can only fill your car like your car gets full very fast,
if you're escaping something.
You can't like fill it with huge rubber maids
of like journals and then also have like the necessities
that you need.
I definitely take those comedy bang bang action figures,
the big Sue one.
You could never replace that.
Yeah.
When the fire was happening,
it really did as we were like packing a bag,
looking around and like, all this shit is meaningless.
I know, it's a weird thing.
It's really really, I go, why am I doing this?
Yeah, it's actually, you go, why did I buy this stuff?
Even though it's like, I don't care about you,
I don't care about you, I don't care about you.
It is really weird.
You were looking at Jamie when he said.
She didn't know, she was wearing dark glasses.
But you were putting tchotchkes into a bag
but saying to Jamie.
I don't care about you, I want Jamie. I don't care about you.
I want these.
I don't care about you.
Yeah, I mean.
It's tough because, yeah, what would be on a boat
that you would lose, that you would have to go after?
I don't even, I don't think, I mean, you know, again,
I don't wear a wedding ring because of the,
by the way, still getting,
anytime it heats up,
I just get these terrible rashes on my fingers.
What do you have, eczema?
I have a thing.
Shut up.
I have a thing.
Wow.
I have a thing that happens now where sometimes
the first knuckle on my hand, on my finger, gets itchy.
There's no rash, there's no, there's nothing on there. It's very similar. Yeah. What the fuck is going on?
Our bodies are turning against us. I don't know.
I don't wear a ring on that finger. It's really weird.
I waggled my eyebrows. So you're saying there's a chance.
But I don't think I would dive for a wedding ring.
I feel like if Cool Up lost a ring and she was like,
no, I would maybe dive in there for her.
Cause she can swim.
It also is how deep are we talking?
Is this something that you definitely can rescue?
If it's 30 feet, there's no way I'm going to get it.
But if it's 10.
I'm not going to get the bends for a phone.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The phone.
No phone, I would just go, that's done.
Buy phone. I'm not even going to try. Cause you can replace that. iPhone, buy phone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The phone. No phone. I would just go, that's done. By phone. I'm not even
going to try because you can replace the iPhone by phone. No phone, no motor car, not a single
luxury. Yeah. I would maybe dive down for a jet ski. That's interesting. If the jet ski was just
pointed straight down. So you could get back to land. Actually, I told you that story, I think,
when we rented the jet ski. Actually, you told that. At my Christian water ski trip and we rented.
I thought this was going to be where the boat sank.
I don't know about the Christian water ski trip.
Yeah, we rented, three of us rented a jet ski and.
No, we do know this because there was a drunk driver,
not a drunk driver, that was a different time.
This is different I think.
Yeah.
I turned it on.
It was a boat where they sank the boat.
They don't tell you, they don't tell you, no, this is a totally different trip.
Yeah, no.
This is when I'm 15.
That's what I'm telling her.
Different Christians.
Okay, man.
So they don't tell you,
especially when you're renting a jet ski to 15 year olds,
they don't tell you, hey, when you turn it on,
like this is all they said,
they said, okay, this key turns it on.
When you turn it on, you should be sitting on it
because it will just go.
Oh my God.
So we were like, they gave us no instructions. So I turn it on and I'm like, uh, okay, I guess I turn it on. Then I get on it. I turn it on. It just takes off and crashes into a boat.
Were people on the boat?
Yeah, but the boat wasn't damaged or whatever.
So we're like, sorry.
They're like, yeah, it's fine.
So then I get on the jet ski.
They didn't tell you, huh?
They didn't tell you to sit on it?
Well, for next time, sit on it.
We rented for an hour and each of us
are gonna take 20 minutes, right?
So I get on it and I'm-
Video game style.
I'm tootling around on it and within five minutes
it sinks down to the bottom of the ocean.
I'm holding onto it while trying to swim.
They're not just automatically buoyant these things.
So this is what they say.
They pull it out of the water and they're inspecting it.
And they go, well, there's this big hole in the jet ski.
How did this happen? And we are like admitting like, oh, well, there's this big hole in the, in the jet ski. How did this happen?
And we are like admitting like, oh, well, when we first turned it on, it like crashed into a boat and one of the adults with us, um, looks at it and goes,
this is a hole that existed already.
You just patched it over with something and it's come loose.
And they're like, oh, okay.
You don't have to pay for it.
Yeah.
Well, now I remember that.
Yeah.
And they're like, oh, okay, you don't have to pay for it. Oh, now I remember that.
They were trying to trick you.
So, but anyway, they made fun of me for years.
They dined out on this of me sinking on a jet ski
in the middle of the ocean and just.
I mean, that's funny.
It is, I mean, it's a funny visual.
I would dine out on that.
I'm gonna dine out on it now.
Hey! You suck.
Let me tell you about this idiot I know.
Anyway, so that's what I think about when I think of those two trips with the sinking
boat and the sinking jet ski.
You're not good in your water.
But what else is, I mean, I don't know.
I don't know what's like, I mean, maybe if it was something of somebody else's, I might
feel bad and have that moment of panic.
But I don't think that there's anything that would,
because I don't also, I have no, Mike though,
Mike loves to dive, he loves to swim.
I think he'd be happy to go look for it,
whatever the thing is, if I wanted him to.
So at least I would, I'd probably try if he was there.
But if he wasn't there, I'd be like, it's over.
Maybe some of my priceless artwork, like the Monet,
I would maybe go down and dive.
Yeah, I guess maybe you should go get that.
You'd have to go so fast.
Cause it's going to wash the paint off.
Has Mike ever seen the movie, The Incredible Mr. Limpit?
I don't know what movies Mike has seen, dear.
You don't?
You've got to talk to him about this.
I know every movie Janie has seen.
Really? You know, I don't, it hasn't come up.
The Incredible Mr. Limpit.
OK, well, I guess I hope your relationship improves.
Do you know that movie?
Do you know what that movie is?
No, I've never heard of that.
This movie was a movie that when I was a kid
would be on TV on Sunday afternoon,
like every other Sunday.
Don't nuts, is it?
Oh.
Mr. Roper.
Mr. Roper.
No, Mr. Furley.
Mr. Furley. Mr. Furley.
That's what I meant. Andy.
This is a movie that's half animated, half live action.
Uh-huh.
And it's about a man whose life is so miserable,
he wishes he could be a fish.
Then his wish comes true,
and he becomes a fish who wears glasses.
A cartoon fish.
I know what you're talking about.
Yeah.
Let me see this.
And he participates in World War II.
I remember, I can picture the image.
Doesn't he ever remember?
Yeah. Oh, totally, yes. He helps the Navy. I remember I can picture the image. Doesn't he have to remember? Oh, totally.
He helps the Navy fight Nazis.
And the Japanese.
I was asked to develop this for a certain actor.
A certain deranged millionaire.
And I turned it down because I was like,
I just don't see this being popular anymore.
No.
In the 60s, I get it.
Or when I was a kid, I was like.
Did they update it to the Iraq War? I didn't know that about the war part of it. I sixties, I get it. Or when I was a kid, I was updated to the Iraq War.
I didn't know that about the war part of it. I maybe didn't even watch it. I was just like,
he's got a friend who's in the Navy, who somehow he the friend
realizes that's him.
It's just fucking Jack Weston from the Four Seasons.
Oh, and so the TV show, the Four Seasons.
No, from the from the actual movie. Yeah.
Oh, he the Mr.
Limp it who is incredible by the way.
Yeah.
He's able to help the war effort as a fish by making a noise that somehow fucks up the
Japanese sonar or something like that.
The noise goes like this.
This is like a mummy's voice. or something like that, the noise goes like this. Hey! Hey!
This is like a mummy's voice. Oh, by the way, by the way, we did get clowned
by the internet.
I know.
Because that was not the original mummy noise.
I know.
But you know what?
It's just as good.
It's just as good.
It made us laugh just as much as.
The original mummy noise is something like,
huh.
Yeah, that's also really stupid.
It's just really stupid.
And also like, don't we know if it was a person,
it made noises like a person?
Like what are we even doing?
Yeah, exactly.
Great point.
I've never understood why we're trying to figure out
what its voice was.
I never understood the whole concept of it.
We wanted the...
It's a buried human.
We want to know what these creatures sounded like.
What did a mummy as a human be?
What did a mummy sound like?
What did a caveman sound like?
One, two, three.
All right, well, that's going to do it for this episode.
It surely is.
Shelby, let us know the name of your embroidery company
so we can patronize it.
Trying to sift through these emails,
and we didn't even hear your first one about.
Sorry about that, dear.
About something else.
So who knows?
Apple plus movie that you thought was a TV show.
If we'll find this one.
But that's just what happens on Hack Claims 8.
This guys.
That's what happens.
This is a perfect illustration of what happens on Hack Claims 8.
Yeah.
And on the phones.
People will leave three messages and we'll only get one.
That's how it works.
People ask you what is Hack Claims 8.com all about. This is a great example and use this example.
Yes. It's unclear how it works and it's unclear how to work it.
We're going to see you next week though. Yeah.
As usual. Buy tickets to my show with Mary on August 31 at Denny C Typewriter and live
streaming. Come see Vriotopia at Laudroom on July 13th
or live stream it the same time.
And read the Astonishing Spider-Man
on the Marvel Unlimited app.
If you are reading it, I feel like this week
something went down that is of interest.
What?
Is he okay?
And I can talk about it later.
Okay. Oh my God, I hope he's all right.
Or maybe it was the week before, who knows.
But I think if you're a fan of mine, you'll be interested in reading this particular arc.
Okay.
Wonderful.
Goodbye.
Bye-bye.
Parents, we know the childcare crisis is not just another headline.
It's a daily struggle playing out in millions of homes across this country.
I'm Gloria Riviera, and this is No One is Coming to Save Us.
This season, we're demanding a childcare system that actually works for kids, parents,
and educators.
We mean, pre-Birth to Five, full day, nearby, easy to apply. No one is
coming to save us. Season 5 from Lemonado Media, out now.