Threedom - The Lion Piss

Episode Date: July 24, 2025

Lauren, Scott, and Paul discuss Happy Days, birthdays, and The Sphere before answering a listener voicemail. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Listen ad-free and unlock the THREEMIUM archive on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This message is sponsored by Greenlight. Hey, Lauren. Hmm? Do you remember summertime when you were a kid? Oh, the best. You, like, you'd get, uh, you'd play around with a stick in the dirt and stuff like that? There was just so much freedom in nature.

Pardon me, are you two talking about summertime? Oh, hey! Who are you, sir? It's me, Summertime Sam. Summertime Sam! I love the good old fashioned summertime. The unofficial mascot of summertime. Summertime Sam, did you ever have a lemonade stand? Well, of course I did. So good old fashioned lemonade.

It's a great way to learn about money. Yeah, I think so. I mean, like you charge people for goods or services and then you, you know, procure currency in exchange. Capitalism. Good old capitalism. Yeah, thanks Summertime Sam, I agree. Sure.

Well Summertime Sam, can I tell you that Greenlight is a debit card and money app made for families that helps kids learn how to save, invest, and spend wisely. Well that sounds good old fashioned important. Yeah, parents can send money to their kids. And keep an eye on how they're spending and saving. Meanwhile, kids and teens build money, confidence, and skills in a fun, accessible way that feels more like a game than a lesson.

You know what? The Greenlight app also includes a chores feature where you can set up one time or recurring chores, customize, are there one time chores in your house? I guess if the dog poops on the floor, that's not always one time. Yeah, that's for one time. How about painting the house? That's true. Although 20 years later you're doing it again usually. But your parents are dead. That's true. Customize to your household and

reward kids with an allowance for a job well done. I'm excited for my kids to get old enough to understand the value of a dollar. I know. I can teach them. To understand everything that we're spending on them. Yeah it is important for them to know but you know what it's hard for them to understand a running total of everything This is a very easy way for them to understand The financial burden of children How it works summertime Sam do you have children? Of course I do. How many? I've had 40 children. They were all born in the summer So you had sex when? Green light hey guys stop.

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your kids real world money skills start your risk-free green light trial today at greenlight.com slash freedom that let me say it again okay that's greenlight.com slash freedom you'll get started there greenlight.com slash freedom thanks summertime sam have a great summer with money summertime, Sam. Have a great summer with money. Oh people, let me tell you about the online cannabis company that's revolutionizing how we deal with life's challenges from sleepless nights to stress filled days. Mood.com has created an entire line of functional gummies that target specific health concerns with 100% federally legal THC blends. They deliver them discreetly, in case you're surrounded by squares, right to

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And I will always love you on Broadway. I had a dream. I dreamed it for you, Lydia. Rest in peace, Michael Jeter. Yes, you brought so much joy to our lives. And it's time for celebrity birthdays as of this recording. Who do we have? Every celebrity's had a birthday as of this recording.

We got Willie Ames turned 65. From Zapt. Jesse Ventura 74. Hard to believe that Willie Ames is older than Jesse Ventura, but there it is. Jeffrey Cramer. Dahmer. Wait, what?

Huh? You thought Willie Ames was older than Jesse Ventura? He is. Didn't you say? I said he was 65. And then. Jesse Ventura, 74. Oh, okay.

Well, you know. Did I say 64? I mean, Paul McCartney did, very famously. So. He did. When I say 64. He was kind Paul McCartney did very famously. So he did. When I say 64. He was kind of the first to say that. He was the first one to put those two things together. As a quote.

Jeffrey Kramer, the actor who played Len Hendrix in Jaws turns 80. Brian Austin Green, 52. Bag. Wow. He's 52. Do they call him Bag like they call Dag? D-A-G Dag. I hope so. Yeah, I hope they do. He's 52. Do they call him Bag? They call him Dag? I hope so.

Yeah, I hope they do. Remember the character Bag on Happy Days? No. In the early Happy Days days before it was still on film, before it was a live audience, there was an ancillary guy named Bag. That was his nickname. But they filmed it like a multicam, but just no was his nickname but they filmed it like a multicam yeah but just no audience no they filmed it like a single cam oh yeah

yeah it was it was sort of based on American graffiti so they wanted it to sort of look like that and then did they put a live track in it like mash they they did put a live track in it and then they eventually were like what are we doing here once people want the funds to walk out these stories aren't that complex we can film them all in one night. Yeah. And so there was an episode where a they you know there was a happy days band of course. Who was in the band? Well Richie played saxophone. Oh good. Guess who was rock and roll? Ralph Malfa played guitar. Pottsie sang. Tar. Pottsie sang.

Splish splash. I was taking a bath. He had the funniest. Oh, that's right. No, I'm thinking of Gomer Pyle, who had the beautiful voice. I had a, uh, Jim neighbors box set for a while. I thought you were going to say lunchbox. My mind filled in lunchbox. Lunchbox set. It was a box set of lunch boxes. That he had used. Yep. They didn't have him on it. They were pretty plain actually.

You got a box set of Jim neighbors singing. Yeah. Singing records. How many? I got it in a thrift store when I was like 21. I thought it was so hilarious. And I've carried it around with me now for all of my life. You still have it. Is it vinyl?

It's vinyl, yeah. Isn't it kind of weird the things that last, like that you just keep taking with you every day? From place to place to place to place. And I never listen to it for pleasure. It's just a curiosity that I find funny. What's weirder to me is the things that you carry around and then eventually you don't know what they are anymore. Yeah. Like, do you have one of those?

Not anymore. I think I did like a big purge of shit like that. I found some old box. I'm in the midst of a purge. Like literally ticket stubs with nothing on them. Like, like all the writing faded off. No, like carnival tickets. Like, oh yeah. Like what the fuck? I don't remember what this is. Like you had a good time in the carnival once, you're like, I gotta remember this. That's really funny.

Yeah. I'm sure it was connected to some girl. Yeah. It had to have been. You gotta write that on there. But there would be objects where I'm like, I don't know what this is anymore. It's just trash.

Maybe we've talked about it, but when we moved into this place from the previous place, I did a somewhat of a purge where I was like, all these mementos I'm keeping, I'm going to take pictures of them. Yes. So that they can be stored digitally, but I don't have to have this stuff anymore. I should do that with the gym neighbors box set. Just take a picture of the thing and go like, I used to have this. Funny, right? Honestly, you know what? The story is enough. Yeah. Really? I've passed down a picture. I don't even know what it is. Tradition. Yeah. That's beautiful. Isn't it though? Also know what Jim neighbors is? No. Have you ever seen Gomer Pyle? United States Marine Corps? Yeah. USMC. No. He

was like, go show. Zam was his other big cat. I don't know the name. I've definitely heard. Golly, how sweet it is. You say that? I don't think the name. I've definitely heard. Well golly how sweet it is. Did you say that? I don't think so. That was fictional character. Where's the beef? Sit on it Pottsie. I think I follow. Uh huh. So we talked like this and he was real dumb and he was from the south, but he had a homespun wisdom. He was a spinoff from the Andy Griffith show.

I see that. He first appeared in season three of the Andy Griffith show. And then he got his own, he joined the Marine Corps and I remember like, what was the theme song? He was like, da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da What was his most famous saying? So this is a quiz for you. Shazam. That's one of them.

Golly. That's another one. But this is not the most sweet. How sweet it is. Sit on a pot seat. Surprise, surprise, surprise. Surprise, surprise, surprise. Additionally, he would sometimes say shame, shame, surprise. Surprise, surprise, surprise. Additionally, he would sometimes say,

shame, shame, shame. I don't remember that. I vaguely remember that. Additionally. When I was a kid, that show was in syndication, you know, I'd see it. I would watch it all the time. I hated it.

I didn't like him. And even more so, I did not like his sergeant who despised him. Sarge? There was something about that actor that was so unpleasant to watch. Cause you wanted him to be loved. Well, he was, yeah, cause he was so mean to Gohmr,

who was just stupid. You wanted Gohmr to be loved. And that's the trick, if you're writing a really unlikable character in your thing, write someone even more unlikable who hates that person, and you'll be on the side. The idea was, the sergeant really was just supposed to be frustrated by this guy who's a man child and how to communicate with him.

He keeps falling up. Does he really like, would he get promoted? He never would get promoted, but he would keep fucking up things and then it would just all work out. But he was not like technically a Gilligan, right? He wasn't like actively. I don't know. I want to play this song really

sure please I've clicked on it will it ever load you know that sure and dancer Donner and Vixen I'm trying to play it but pile shut up pile that's what the guys voiced out yes Yes. Pile! Would you watch that with your parents? No, I would go to my grandma's house and she would cut out. She would always cut out the Sunday. You know, she she passed the savings on to me and she would breastfeed me. But she would always cut out the Sunday funnies for me and collect them and then she also

would let me watch TV because I was so fucking bored there. And she, so I would watch it mainly over there because I feel like she was in a different city that had different syndication stuff. And I would always get it over there. Always exciting. Yeah. I'm trying to load this fucking theme song and none of the three versions will load.

We would not watch it as a family, but it would be TV that was on maybe on a, maybe like on a Saturday, like after cartoons were over. Yeah. And you knew like there's some acceptable TV to watch. Is that so funny how when we were growing up, Paul and I, there would be so many TV shows that were in syndication that were black and white. Like half of the things you would watch were black and white.

And I feel like with your generation that was not the case. No, but I did watch a lot of reruns from like a Brady Bunch, Happy Days, all that stuff and some black and white, like I Love Lucy and like. I Love Lucy I think is the one that above all. Yeah. You can always find that somewhere. Like Andy Griffith would come on, I would turn off the TV. Like there were, they did have like,

we did have black and white ones in the lineup. But it was like. When did that finally go away? It feels like. Yeah, it feels like they all moved to like, well, cause like then Nick at Night. Nick at Night. Was that.

Oh yeah. Now Nick at Night is like full house and stuff. Which is kind of insane, but. It's like when the idea of what oldies are changes, moves forward a few decades, yeah. I know. Yeah. But you know what?

Classic rock. We're oldies. Yeah, and not even goodies. Hey, it was just your birthday. We didn't talk about your birthday last episode. Oh, fucking shit. Happy fucking birthday. What did you do?

What did you do? What did you do? I recorded a comedy banking episode. Not for real. On your birthday? Did people know it was your birthday? Funnily enough, it had two close friends on it who didn't know and I never brought it up.

I'm sure they would have wanted to know. One of them later at about 1155 wrote to me and said, hey, I forgot to say it was your birthday. Well, what did you do besides that? So then I took our, or Coolop and I took our nephew to see Jurassic Park, whatever it's called now. It happened again. Yep.

And we, none of us, none of us liked it. And that was it. Here's what I heard about that movie is that they've made up some new dinosaurs. I didn't hear about that. The D-Rex. Yeah. The what?

The B-Rex? The D-Rex. Is that me? What am I thinking? You got the D. He's got a big ass dick. My brother described the D-Rex to me, but I want to see it for myself.

He's looking up right now. It's, what is, because it's called, what's the D for? I can't remember. But I mean, I think, I know I'm biased, but I think that kind of movie is very fun to see in the theater, and I want to do that.

Here, let me see if I can play some of the Gummer Pile theme. ["Gummer Pile Theme"] This is not the official version. This is like the MIDI version. Yeah. Then? I feel like I'm walking down Main Street in Disneyland. Yeah.

This is not bad, actually. Da da da da da da da da da da bad actually That's right Yes, it gets you Exact it gets across the point exactly. Yes, it says a military march, but it's a little silly. It's whimsical. It's whimsical Yes. Yes, exactly. I Love it. I want to that all the time. Next time we do an episode, will you come back having watched one episode of Gomer Pile? No.

Why? There's just not enough time. What do you mean there's not enough time? It's like 20 minutes. At the end of the day when I get to relax, I'm not doing that. I think I understand what it is from the pictures. No, but I want you to watch it. And his impressions.

No, don't watch it. His impressions aren't good. So did you have a birthday dinner, dear? Where did we go? We went, yeah, we went to a restaurant. Called? I don't want to say. McDonald's?

That would somehow make you the way. If you say McDonald's, I never will know your favorite McDonald's. It was good, we'd never been there before, but I enjoyed it. Okay. And. I'd love to know off Mike what it was.

Sure. And then back in time to get Emmy I enjoyed it. Okay. And I'd love to know off Mike what it was. Sure. And then back in time to get Emmy and put her down for bed and all that kind of stuff. And you had cake? And you did too? Well, Emmy's saying happy birthday to you, but were you eating a breakfast? It was the day after, I feel like, because we actually did not. Oh, that's right.

We didn't get back in time. So I didn't see her. I saw her at breakfast and I didn't see her. I saw her at breakfast and then didn't see her until the next day. And what's your favorite kind of cake on your birthday? We got a Baskin Robbins ice cream cake. Wow.

That's really a bold move. I used to have to- There's a ticking clock on that thing. I remember a couple of times I bought one for my own birthday celebration and brought it down to my parents' house and I would get it decorated to say Happy Birthday to Scott Aukerman, the greatest American living or dead. Wow.

I would make them write that on it and then bring it down in the thing that would keep it cold, the little bag that they give you, you know, and bring it down to... Cake thing that would keep it cold. The little bag that they give you, you know, and bring it down to. Cake bag. Cake bag. Cake bag. Um, and then now next up is my birthday and then yours. Yeah, so.

Coming up, Lauren's birthday. Yeah, I know. I'm coming in. Number two. You're going to be the 40th. Do you have plums? I'm thinking about, I'm trying to figure out what I want to do.

I've been struggling to figure out what kind of celebration would feel fun and right. Because sometimes things feel more stressful when you have a party. It's like, my fortieth was very stressful. Yeah, did not have to be. I don't want to be stressful. I want it to be fun. So I'm just, I'm still narrowing down. Yeah, we were also about to move to New York for that job.

Uh huh. And so I was like, out of my mind. That's crazy. I said golly. Yeah Well, but but but but but but but but I'm going to be 57 this no shit behind me 55. It's my hands birthday 57 yeah, it's weird. I'm now at the point where I forget how old I'm gonna Yeah, I just can't believe I also birthday was seven years ago. Yeah, I know. I also feel like I've already I've been saying what age I am when I turned a couple of weeks ago for like six months before that. Yeah, you know because I've started rounding up to 40

Yeah, like mentally like and just in conversation. I'm like, let me just soak up a little more of 39 before I'm saying 40. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. 40 feels like a big number, like in some ways. Yeah.

Do you know what? It's great. 40's great. That's a lot of what I've heard has been from women. You know, they say like, it's better as you get older. It really is. My 40's were great. It really is.

My 50's suck shit. Sorry. My 40s were great. My 50s suck shit. Sorry. My 40s were pretty good. 50s up and down. Yeah, but you know what? I really I cannot complain. Yeah, it's all good. Hey, at least we're living.

I have a very nice life. At least we're alive. At least we're alive. My life is filled with good people. Wonderful people. That's right. That's very lovely. What more could you ask for? We were going to celebrate My life is filled with good people. Wonderful people. That's right. That's very lovely.

What more could you ask for? We were going to celebrate Cool Up's 40th and my 50th. I think we were gonna get a bunch of friends to go out to Montana and we were gonna do- Yeah, that almost happened in the pandemic. Yeah, and then the pandemic happened. Right, because I was gonna go there, I think. Yeah, I think we were gonna go.

And we've just never- You were gonna do a steady slickers, you were gonna do that cowboy camp. Yeah, I think we were going to go. And we've just never. You're going to do city slickers. You're going to do that cowboy camp. Yeah. And we've never maybe next next decade. I think at that point. How old are you now? Because you're in the Hagar.

What does that mean? 55. I thought of Hagar the horrible speaking of the Sunday Funnies. Yeah, really. OK, so it's 60 and 50. Is that too old to be riding a horse? I feel like maybe it's not horseback riding. It's something else.

Hawaiian pool lounging. Yeah. Why do I have to wait five years for that? No, do it now. Still right now. Yeah. Hey, let's stop this episode. Just go ahead.

I really want to go to Hawaii. I'm starting to think about my 60th birthday. Yeah. Yeah. That's three years. Yeah. Well, you aren't 57 yet. I really wanna go to Hawaii. I'm starting to think about my 60th birthday that I'm gonna do. Yeah, that's three years. Yeah. Well, you aren't 57 yet. Yeah, it's very true. Yeah.

But I will be soon. Do you have an idea in your head about that? Like what, like what, cause yours was a big fun party with performance and stuff. Do you wanna do that again? I sang Rock Lobster and got out of breath within 20 seconds. You fucking crushed it though, bro. Thank you.

And you sang, it was a Pet Shop Boy song, It's a Sin. Yeah. That was great. As I look back upon my life. Yeah. Great version. Like almost a big band version in a way. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That was great. It was fun. Do you think that's the kind of vibe you wanna do again? I don't know. I might do some, I mean, honestly what I keep thinking about is I feel like I keep thinking about like a Downton Abbey style trip where we go to a castle.

Some people go somewhere for a weekend and then we like dress formally for dinner. Oh, fun. That's fun. Yeah, that's great. Yeah. And very you have like a weird English countryside sort of thing. I don't know where that would be. Yes. In the States or in out in in actual? I have thought about another idea is to actually like go to Ireland or something and have like a week long traitors trip there in bleach.

I mean, we were just in Ireland. I had a great time. You were just in Ireland. Yeah. Yeah. With Bang Bang. When was that? Last year, last September.

I can't believe it was last, yeah. Oh yeah. It was in September, because we watched the debates. Oh. From in England. No way. For the second time in a row. We shouldn't do that.

I feel like that's on us. We all stay. We're bad luck. Both in 2016 and in 2024, we watched a certain person debate another person, it was different both times. Yes. We watched a monster debate a woman. I can't narrow this down. And then both times we said, I think that sealed the deal. Yeah. It's not gonna happen. Yeah. And we're disappointed both times. I have no choice but to say it's us. Yep. Yeah. It's on us. In any case, yeah, what are you gonna do? Do you have?

Well, so the ideas are kind of that I was working with were sort of like I could do like a big party, like 50 people party. That would be big in my mind, like a dinner. Oh, yeah, that's big for a dinner. Do you think the tip would be included by the server? Yeah, I's for dinner. Do you think the tip would be included by the server? Yeah, I think so. Or I do. That happened to me the other day, by the way,

at this where I saw the first asshole. They included the tip. And they included the tip and thank God the server circled it to point it out because I was ready to add another like $100 on top of what Do you know what if they don't do that? I don't blame them. I think that's fine. I know but they're like, they're trying to get away from it.

But I have to say like it was it was appreciated. That's considerate. It was very appreciated. Nice. I last year when I turned 39, I had a dinner with like 10 women and that was really fun. And then I was like, what I could do that again, just really fun. And then I was like, I could do that again. Just you and 10 women. I was like, I could do that again. I had a birthday where it was just me and women.

Because I saw it, I saw, I was out there with some friends at El Coyote. Yeah. I've been to El Coyote. There was a table next to us. There was like a long booth. I know it's still there, but I want to, I just haven't been.

to us there was like a long booth. I know it's still there but I want to I just haven't been. And it was like something like 11 women and one guy and it was just so funny. Yeah like I could not understand what the story was. And you were like I'm gonna do this. I said I'm gonna do that. So I had a birthday that was when Janie and I had just started dating. And- Was it all your ex-girlfriends? Or girls that you might've dated instead of her? Yes, the rejas. Everyone you were at least a little attracted to.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My last option I just wanna say is an activity of some sort of TBD. But I'm like, so maybe it's an activity, maybe it's that, so it's very far-reaching. Wine tasting. I don't really care about that. OK. I hate wine tasting.

Why? You just want to drink it. It's so bougie and I don't care about the difference between the flavors. I just don't really care. The trip aspect of it is fun. Yeah. The trip aspect. I don't want to make everyone do a trip.

Yeah. But I might do something fun. I like a destination thing if the destination is fun. And it's not like a crazy ask. If it was a driveable thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like Lodi. Where the prison is.

You want to tour a prison for your birthday? Where the prison is. You want to tour a prison for your birthday? You want to tour a prison for your birthday? Well, let me get this straight. What if, though, what if it was Alcatraz? Wow. It's coming back. No, that's so awful. Alcatraz is kind of interesting.

We went to, god, how long ago did we go to Alcatraz? I had a digital camera because I took some pretty amazing pictures. It must have been 2003. See, I almost feel like I rode a boat that went there, but I didn't tour it or something. So I don't remember actually seeing the thing, but I remember buying merch. You just in it for the boat. I bought some merch. So you went on the boat. I bought some. I bought a t-shirt. I had some like nightgown that was like jail,

like escaped from Alcatraz. It was like black and white stripes. God, I wish you would still wear that. I mean, it was in my costume box forever. I did wear it a lot of shows. What if you like went to bed one night? It was. It was like Mike and you like. The audience would go wild.

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So last night, Cool Up and I were driving, by the way, we saw the new naked gun, which is very good. I was going to go to that. I didn't go. Oh, I forgot that was happening. Yeah. They nailed it. They did a great job. I can't wait to see it.

Written by Dan Greger and Akiva. I didn't know that. Dan. Doug Mand. Doug Mand, yes. Yeah, they all did a great job. The cast did a fantastic job. And it wasn't like certain movies of that ilk

that have jokes where you're like, that's not of the style. Ilks! Ilks! Anyway, so we were driving and first of all, Coolop starts this conversation. She goes like, so our nephew who has been in town, the last night he was here, he, while everyone was playing Mahjong and trying to enjoy themselves,

he put on a true crime murder series that, so Cool Up starts the conversation going like, by the way, you know, if you want out of the marriage, just divorce me, don't kill, don't kill me. Yeah. That's not where I thought the story was going. Yeah. me yeah that's not where I thought the story was yeah yeah that's not where I thought the story was going I'm just like what are you talking about a story about Kai and what he should or should

not be watching all women kind of need to make that disclaimer just yes just Just divorce me, you don't have to kill me. You don't have to kill me, I will go away. We can never talk again. We can work this out. Whatever you want. You don't have to kill me. But so I was like, what are you talking about? And so she explained it, but then she proceeded to tell me every gruesome detail of the thing.

Was this new? I think so. And I eventually had to stop her and say like, I didn't wanna watch this, I don't wanna hear about this. I don't want to hear about this. You know what? Stop telling me about this. Can I say something?

I think almost men cannot handle it. And women know how dangerous the world is and we can handle that and watch that. Well, Cool Up did apologize to say that was inflicting violence on you. I'm sorry. You like, I don't know why. She goes, I watched it and felt like I had to.

Well, sometimes you gotta tell someone. You have to say what you saw. Yeah, the details were pretty gruesome. Anyway, so, but I thought that was good advice. Just divorce someone. Don't kill them. But I, Janie, of course, is also so that to me. Of course.

But I think because she watches a lot of that stuff and she will catch me up on it immediately if I'm like walking through the room. She'll like, Oh, just, you know, here's what's going on with this guy. But I think that's because I've absorbed a lot of it from being in the room and sometimes I'll just watch it along with her, you know, whatever. I think that that is something that is in you to do. If you- You're a killer.

You are a killer. That's what I was sort of saying. I was saying- Because anytime where the guy is like, they paint it like he felt, faced with the situation, well, I got a killer. The killing is insane, but you do kind of go. A lot of these stories are so scary because it seems like the guy would

ever, ever do anything like that and is very normal. And but you know what? There was one that I watched that was the last daughter. That one that I don't know. It was crazy. It was one where the the gentleman also gentlemen did the same to the children. And I was trying to say to Kulop, I was like, I kind of understand the whole-

Killing your wife. Killing, I was. I was like, I kind of understand like you're in a situation where you don't want to undergo the shame of getting a divorce to all your friends you got married in front of or- Way more shameful to kill someone just putting it out there. Or, yeah, I know. Or you don't- Unless you're going to kill yourself.

Or financially, you don't want to. Then you don't have to deal with the shame. Yeah. You don't want to like lose half of your money or whatever. I'm kind of like, OK, I can kind of get there with a person going like, what if I just killed my wife? But but I can kind of get it. But but then when it's the whole family, you you've got to go like, yeah, that was just something you wanted to do.

Like you're insane and so scary. I love stories. Well, you're you're so like your brain, there's there's like a narcissism to it because that is a common thing of of people of these guys, I should say, killing the killing other family members as well for the shame aspect. It's it's it's weirdly in a lot of these stories and that is just like a brain that is just mush. Like maybe we shouldn't have big weddings then because then there wouldn't be the shame of getting just divorced. You know what I mean?

Weddings should be illegal. Ceremony. If you aren't equally happy getting married at the courthouse as you are having your big thing. If you're not equally happy getting divorced as you are getting married, you shouldn't be married. Shouldn't there be as big a ceremony to get divorced? Yeah, everybody has to come. A big expensive party. We're doing a destination divorce.

This is a good movie idea. I feel like that has been done. Destination divorce. That sounds familiar good movie idea. I feel like that has been done. Destination divorce. That sounds familiar to me. I'm going to write it down. In any case, yes, so we have that conversation. But then on our way home, this was genuinely startling to me. But I'm driving.

And I like to be very safe when I drive. Oh you're kind of funny that way. Different strokes. But this maybe happened to you guys but our alerts went off on our phone last night. Wee-ah! Wee-ah! It's in my pocket, it's not out, it's in my pocket. I'm not on my phone or anything. It's in my pocket. It starts vibrating, uh, very, uh, robustly and,

and both of our phones go off at the exact same time. And so it's a loud in the car and I'm trying to drive and I went, ah, and I, and I like swerved a little bit. It was just genuinely startling. And then all it is, is like a missing person. All it is. And it's somebody's child. No, it was a grown-up.

But that's somebody's child. Everybody's somebody's child. Good save. I knew it when I said it. They might be orphans. That's somebody's grandchild. All it was was some missing person being trafficked. Look, I understand.

I understand like alerting everyone, forcing everyone to pay attention when it's an earthquake or something like that. Well, it's gonna affect everyone. But missing people, you're on your own. Stop tech, stop alerting me about these. That is so awful. You are saying something

that can only end ironically for you. Oh, then the other part of it is, Coolop's trying to help. Oh, then the other part of it is cool. Cool. I'm trying to help. She's like, okay, tries to, tries to click on it. It's a Twitter link. No, yes.

X.com the everything app you have to go. But I don't have that. You have to go onto it onto that terrible cursed app in order to find out the information about it. Fucking ridiculous. Stop it. Government stop sending me this shit to find out the information about it. That's fucking ridiculous. Stop it, government. Stop sending me this shit. I'm trying to drive. Stop it.

And the missing person was Jeffrey Epstein. Yeah. But he's been found. And just client list. What if he got one of those? Client list. What a world! What a world we live in.

It's a crazy little world we're in. But I love it. I love your earth. Look at this little thing called the Earth. Look at this little thing called the Earth. Look at this little thing called the Earth. Look at this little thing called the Earth. Look at this little thing called the Earth. Look at this little thing called the Earth. Look at this little thing called the Earth. Look at this little thing called the Earth. Look at this little thing called the Earth. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! I pray that this year is not like that for many, many reasons, but that was it already has been

I mean that next January. Yeah, I feel nervous about that Filters about a lot of things. Yes. Hey, yeah Y'all oh but speaking of our nephew he was in town I think I've told you on the show about his little business of cleaning tennis shoes. Absolutely. And so- Is he still into that? No, and I asked him, I asked him, are you still doing the business?

He's like, oh, and he didn't even really remember it. Wow. But I was like, I said, you know- And none of us could forget. I said, you know, when I signed up for your business, you upsold me and you said, if know, when, when I signed up for your business, you upsold me and you said, if I paid more, it was a lifetime subscription of you cleaning my shoes. So I have several pairs for you here to clean. And he got this look on his face. I'm like, oh,

and he used to like doing it. And now he's like, I don't want to do that. Yeah, I don't. Yeah. What if you, I wish you'd held him to it a little bit longer to where he's like in front of a pair of shoes. And then you're saying, I'm just fucking around. That's really funny. Aw, poor nephew.

Yeah, I mean, poor nephew. A lot of stuff to do. Hello nephew. He got scared. Sometimes when you come out here, he would he would say like, OK, I need to go to this baseball card store, this baseball card store. Now he doesn't do any of that. Oh, that's that was the next thing, right? He moved on from shoes to baseball cards.

Yeah. And he was he was selling them and he always has interesting businesses. Yeah. He's an entrepreneur. He is. He is. Mark Cuban left Shark Tank tank and I watched the episode Not enough fanfare mark shark also left Cuba. Okay, so Cuban Pete also left in his old broke down car. Mm-hmm Guys Stanley lip Ten was his name. Oh, I guess he had a bad oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, We have been remiss. I found this really upsetting and one of those things where you kind of go just don't tell me that and I'm about to tell you all this is like Ruining a magic trick. So like sucking on chili dogs. Yes, we've been informed that a chili dog is like a slurp is a brand No name for me. That's a big problem because now the song's not funny Yeah, suck it on chili dogs outside the tasty freeze. Yeah, you course you're sucking on a Slurpee outside of 7-Eleven.

That's not funny. It's not as funny as the idea of sucking on a hot dog covered with chili. Yeah. Admittedly. But it still is. There's something odd about saying sucking on it. Yeah. But it just kind of becomes like subtle.

You would say you're drinking it. Sucking on chili dogs. I don't think I want to say I'm sucking on, so you would say you're drinking it. Sucking on chili. I don't think I want to say I'm sucking on anything. You don't want to say it. I want to spray it. But you want to do it. Sucking on chili dog. Outside of Tasty Freeze. I still just want it to be.

Is chili dog though a brand that Tasty Freeze makes? Because it's weird to do to suck on a chili dog outside of Tasty Freeze if Tasty Freeze hasn't sold you the chili dog. I think they bought it. I think they're hanging out. Do you watch it at the Tasty Freeze? Do you or have you ever watched Claim to Fame? On Hulu? Rhymes. That's the one where you have to guess the famous siblings. Or like a relative. Oh yeah, I've never seen a full season. I'll like start one and watch maybe one or two and then go, this is boring. You know what?

Never have I ever seen. You have to barrel through. No, I don't. You do. If you're not gonna watch Gomer Pile, I'm not gonna watch Quaint the Fate. Ooh, stand off. And then John Mellencamp's son was on there,

I'm just almost saying so. Really, did he suck on anything in the show? He almost sucked on something because he started to have a relationship with one of the girls. Wow! Hell, you do! I don't remember who she was really.

It would be funny if you were walking around eating chili dogs. Her father was also a famous country singer who I wasn't familiar with because I don't really know countries. That's fun. Yeah. And they just started making out? No, they didn't make out, but they just had crushes. And so they just started making out?

Yeah, but it was like, that's perfect. You guys should date after because you both your dads are famous. Who is the least famous person that a celebrity that a similar celebrity on that? Yeah. You know what? They're all pretty big. Like, I was like Eddie Murphy's son. I don't think I've ever seen like a reveal where I go. Who's that? Like it's always I know who, right. So you think Emmy can't go on? Not yet. Oh. Not yet.

Just a child. It'd be a nipple baby house. They never said there's an age limit. Two year old running around. Try to figure it out. Is anyone gonna watch her? Who are you related to? You just ask them.

Who's Dada? Who's mama? Who's Dada? Does's Mama? Who's Dada? Does she know your full name? Well, she knows her full name and she knows our first names. But I think I said my full name the other day

and she went, no, you're Scott, or no, you're Dada. So I don't think she's put that together. And she definitely doesn't have any conception of what we do for a living. She just, when I say I'm going to work, she just goes, you're downstairs?

Yeah. Yeah. We go to work at all hours of the day. It's like, I call it doing a show, going to work and like everything's work. So she just has no idea. Everything is work. Everything is work.

I know two people. Good. And they're you. Yeah. And they're right here. Thanks. Two friends of mine who are fathers, whose children at a certain point just started calling them

by their first name. Yeah. And it never stopped. I don't like that. Never went back. I don't want it. But it's very funny to me. I don't want to be Dada forever.

Aw. Aw. I think it'll be a bummer But it's very funny to me. I don't wanna be Dada forever. Aw. Aw. I think it'll be a bummer when it's just Dad. You think so? Yeah. Dad happens to do everything you think. I know. It's probably gonna be today.

It could be today. Oh, swimming lessons are happening again, by the way. Oh my gosh. The screaming has intensified. Oh man, we were gonna do that. Club invited us, but. Caption, screaming intensifies. It didn't work with our schedule, but I wanted to do it. It's,

Emmy, it's so funny because Emmy is. Emmy Ackerman. Really good swimming. And even the teacher afterwards was like, she's really good. Yeah. But she could go pro. She afraid.

She screams the entire time and crying and it's so funny how kids. Even though she's doing it well? She's doing it well, yes. And she's just like, I want out, I want out, I want out mama! And then it's like she's trying every tactic. I want out, dada! Why doesn't she... What is her problem that you're able to figure? Is it the coldness of the water? I think she finished her lessons that were six months ago and then we just didn't have her regularly do it after that. And now I think- Then you make her swim in jeans.

Yeah, that's true. And a puffy coat. And a jean jacket on top of that. But I think there's a level of fear. I mean, all of the kids, other than one who loves it, were pretty much crying at certain points. Well, once one starts crying, it stresses the other ones out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Like I should be doing it. It's like, oh, this is scary. But it's so funny to see the tactics the kids are using, because like there's one who's just throwing out, she was so young, just throwing out words, trying to see if any combination of words would work. It's like tornado. You know, it's just and and then one yesterday was like, you know, saying, I want to go, I'm going to leave. I don't want to do this anymore.

I want to go. Come on, please, mama, please, mama. And then start going, I have to go pee pee. I have to go pee pee. Like that'll, that's, you know, you'll take me to the bathroom, right? That's how you learn that everybody goes in the pool. Yeah, just do it.

Go ahead. Like that lion. I dare you. Like that lion, we goes in the pool. Yeah, just do it. Go ahead. Like that lion. I dare you. Like that lion, we get the lion piss. Yeah. The lion piss. The lion piss. Would that show have been as successful if it was called the lion piss?

And it's just that monkey holding up a jar of piss. And it's just that. That's it. And it's kind of like it goes back and forth. It's like 90 minutes for 90 minutes. An animated game. All the animals watching. It's beautiful. What would it have been as far as the sun shining through it?

Who can say? From the day we arrived? Is it wild plan to realize there's another universe where that did happen? Yeah, anything you can think of has happened in another universe. That's that's you know what? The more I think about that, the dumber that is. It's you were talking about this. Scott has it seen about the monkeys and the typewriters. Yeah.

Scott is just saying, you know, they say that in some universe like these monkeys, infinite monkeys, the typewriters. Yeah. Scott was just saying, you know, they say that in some universe, like these monkeys, infinite monkeys, infinite typewriters, and they would write the works of Shakespeare. No, no, that's not happening. No, it never would happen. No, it would never happen. But I mean, I do think it's funny when you think about it. It's not possible. No, there's one universe.

It's this one. Yeah, it's fun to think about. They just accidentally type the entire works of Shakespeare. It's not no there's one universe is this one. Yeah, it's just Entire works of Shakespeare accidentally. Yeah, no, it would never happen There'd be typos and words that wouldn't make sense exactly. Yeah. Yeah, how much of a curve are we grading on? Yeah, we're saying yes, they type the complete works of Shakespeare Like we're yeah, we're just correcting them mentally. Well, this is definitely the story, but it's not the exact text.

Yeah, it's like he got the idea, but like that's not impressive. Character names are the same. Sure. They arrived at that somehow randomly. I have a question. Have you, let me talk to this. Hey, all right.

Have you ever been to the Sphere? Yes. You've been to the Sphere. Opening night. Opening night? Boy, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. No one had been? Cause it was ooh-two. It was ooh-two. That must've been to the Sphere? Yes. You've been to the Sphere? Opening night. Opening night? Boy, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, music was. Well, I just saw the Backstreet Boys are playing there right now. Backstreet's back? I'm out. And I thought, that's fun. And then I thought, I wish the Sphere was right here.

It's it's only a 45 minute flight, though. I know. But that's a lot of work. And you can go from Burbank? Who's going to watch my kids? Exactly. I know. That was the first night we had ever been away. Wow. And it was a little stressful. Jane wanted to go when it was, it might still be Eagles.

And I just was not that interested. I wasn't that excited about that, but I thought I could get behind it. There's a good visuals and all that. Yeah, but you know what? I mean, I like some of those songs, but I don't think enough. A whole concert.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so, ABA Voyage, let me tell you. Oh, we had a good time at ABA Voyage, didn't we? That was incredible, didn't we, folks? And I don't think- Where was that? In England. London, England. Wow. And I don't think any of you guys knew what it was.

That's the hologram, right? I knew that it was the holograms, yeah. But I feel like Ryan didn't, because he texted me 20 minutes before going, is it cool if I don't go to this? And I was like, these tickets are so fucking expensive. I was like, no problem, man. And then who would you do? Just the seat. Yeah. I just ate the, I mean, yeah, you ate the ticket. Oh yeah. He didn't go. I forgot about that.

He didn't go. He just was like, do you mind if I don't go? But he was having problems. He mental. He was, as always, he was having tummy troubles. I think he was. He was having like real motion like travel sickness. Yeah. Vertigo. That would be terrible to go to that. Probably. Actually, I don't know. Maybe we would have cured him. Yeah. The healing power of music. That show was really incredible. I was, I was a little skeptical about how much fun it's actually going to be, but it was, it was tremendous. I've heard that from people other than you.

So it must be true. So that's more than one opinion. All right. We have to take a break. Hi, I'm Jessica St. Claire and I'm June Diana Raphael and we are two friends trying to survive the chaos and celebrate the joy that life throws our way. And we do it every week on our podcast, The Deep Dive. Sometimes we dig into the deep stuff like how I communicate with my dead best friend

and sometimes we give bad advice based off a TikTok I saw and we're not going to apologize for that. Absolutely not. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll hire a psychic medium. Join us, won't you? Listen to the Deep Dive wherever you get your podcasts from Lemonade Media. Are you waxed?

No, I'm unwaxed. Hi guys, I'm Sophia. And I'm Sistine Stallone and this is Unwaxed. Hi guys. I'm Sophia. And I'm Sistine Stallone. And this is Unwaxed. We are less judgmental than your best friend. Way cheaper than a therapist. And less painful than a wax. Join us every Tuesday where we discuss dating, bettering yourself and hilarious stories.

So listen to Unwaxed from Lemonade and Media wherever you get your podcasts or check us out on YouTube to see the video version. And we will see you next Tuesday. Bye. And we're back. And guys, we have a famous website that everyone goes to every day. Everyone knows this. So there's a couple of famous websites. You might know it as your homepage. Right. I'm not going to even list the other ones because everyone knows them. But this one, of course, is

I'm not going to even list the other ones because everyone knows them, but this one of course is had claims eight.com is it's so useful. You can do so much on it. You could do so well because the website itself is really interactive. Yeah. It's very intuitive to how it is very intuitive and it's not AI. No, it's handcrafted by us. Yes. And you can find yourself going on this website and just looking up at the clock after feeling

like you've only been on it for five minutes and the whole day is gone. Yeah. And your wife's left children and the clock is as big as the 60 minutes timer. Yeah, it is. I think it's incredible. What happened? I don't like to say this because it sounds like bragging. We wrote all the code for this website. We, it is. I think it's incredible what happened. I don't like to say this because it sounds like bragging. We wrote all the code for this website. We learned to code as everyone was

imploring us. I heard people so many people saying it was like, okay, I will. I will. And I'm great at it. I got into coding during the MySpace days when I made my page. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I never stopped. You designed the top eight. Isn't that crazy? I made it eight. And you made it a virus, then it went on everybody's MySpace. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who was my top eight? MySpace Tom, Mr. Clean, Tony the Tiger,

the band, Death Cat for Cutie, the band also. That's it. And Dr. Jill Biden. Yeah. And I left a few blanks. Yes. And Dr. Jill Biden before she was famous. That's right. People didn't know when she was just Jill Biden. She was just Jill.

I just knew her as Jill. There's a little heart next to her name. I just knew her as Jill. Yep. In any case, this website, there's so much to do. Today, we're only going to talk about one aspect of it. Yeah. Um, and that aspect is called. Voicemails.

Yes. It's a novelty dictionary website. Yes. So much. That's part of it. Yes. It's a phone plan. But today we're talking about voicemails because every other week or so we're going to listen to voicemails that you leave and we're going to respond to your questions and queries.

Queues. And what do you say we listen to one of these? What do you think? I'd like to. No, let's do it. We should do it. All right, here we go. Hello.

So the three of them boys, the three of them gang. Just quickly before I ask my question, I just want to say thank you. You guys always never fail to make me laugh and in this crazy world. What's your name, deer? Means the world to be able to just connect from it and laugh. Thank you.

My question is, identify yourself. If we were still in the timeline where Soylent took over the world, and we were only drinking Soylent for food, what are the top three foods that you think you would miss the most? Wow. I know his name, but I don't know whether he wants me to say it or not. Give him a fake name.

Okay. Give him a name that rhymes with his name. Yeah. And then put it in Pigla. Ariel the mermaid. Okay, Ariel the mermaid. It's a long name. So his name's not Ariel?

L'Ariel the mermaid? It does rhyme with Ariel. But I don't know whether he wants to be identified or not. Well, I'm going to spend my life thinking about this. Barry L. But, what foods would I miss? Very longfellow. Oh my gosh, do you have one that comes to mind? Let's name each one one at a time.

The fucking first thing is pizza. Really? Are you a pizza aficionado? I love pizza. Yeah. How often do you eat pizza? I don't eat it that often, but I the idea that I could never eat it again is That's horrible. I would think that about pesto you love pesto My mom makes pesto. It's one of my favorite things. I'm not a big pesto fan. I love pesto I grew up in a red sauce house. I don't always like it when I needed it. I just want my mom's yeah What if you were rich enough you could hire your mom to come out and be your own? I don't always like it when I need it. I just want my mom's. Yeah. Oh yeah.

What if you were rich enough you could hire your mom to come out and be your own private chef? If I were rich enough to be able to have my mom visit me. Once. What if you were rich enough to pay your mom to be a personal chef who made pesto all day long? She'd be really happy with that. I bet she would.

Does she ever make it for you and like pack it up and send it to you or anything? No, but she'll like always have it when I go home and then like it'll be made a couple of times while I'm home. I am just remembering that my mom used to do that when I moved to LA. She would make you sauce? She would make like, she would make sauce,

she would make pasta, like put it in Tupperware and send it to me. Oh, that's nice. Frozen, yeah. You must have loved that. Frozen, wow. Would she pack it in dry ice? It would to me. Frozen. Yeah. You must have loved frozen. Wow. How would you pack it in? It saved my life. Yeah.

She would not pack it in dry ice. It would just be thought by the time it goes to you and ready to eat. Yeah, pretty much. I mean, not completely thought it would still be. Maybe she shipped it like like one day or overnight. Yeah. Yeah. But goddamn, like so many times that was, I would make that shit last. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So pesto for you. Yeah, that's one. Pizza for you. I guess burgers for me. Yeah. Burgers. We had a burger off by the way. We had another one of our famous monster smash downs.

Well, how'd it go? The other night. Who won? When Kai was here, our nephew. Who won? Who won? Frankenstein? Yeah. It was a three-way tie. We had three burgers and it was a three-way tie. Four of us. How'd it go? The other night. Who won? When Kai was here, our nephew. Who won? Frankenstein? Yeah. It was a three-way tie.

We had three burgers and it was a three-way tie. Four of us voted. Who were the chefs? Oh no, no one made them. It was buying local burgers. Honestly, I like that more. Three-way tie and they're all from local chain or places? Because all of us voted for one of them in second place and then two of us voted for one in first

And another one in third and then the other two voted for the opposite I'm sure that the math checks out but that made no Sense what you said was nonsense. I think it kind of makes sense. No, no, no, i'm sure the match What you said was said was gibberish. Absolutely bananas. You sounded like a bonobos monkey. In any case, yeah, we had our famous burger smashdown where we tried three burgers. And I think I would miss,

I used to think about burgers. Yeah, I would miss burgers. I would miss dessert though. I think that would be the hardest. Ice cream. Ice cream. I think I would miss chocolate. Ice cream.

I would miss chocolate. I would miss chocolate. I would miss cookies. I would miss all sorts. I don't think I could pick one. But top three. Top three sweets. Top three foods.

Well, chocolate. If there's no chocolate, I'm very sad. I have to have chocolate every day. Every sad. I have to have chocolate every day. Every day? Yes. I have chocolate every day. And you're talking about? Nevermind.

I'm brain. A baby born will die before this ends. You know, what's funny though is- Tazande! Do you think he knew he did that on purpose? That his name fit into the meter? Tazande! Tazande!

In the music band they should have done that. Tazande! They absolutely should have said Tazande! The Barbershop Quartet. I think if you're in a world where all you get to eat is Soylent though, and I think my father had a G tube for the last few years of his life. I remember what he said. It was very haunting.

What did he say? Yeah, because we were like, what do you miss food wise? And he was like, honestly, after a year, you don't even think about it. Whoa. And I felt like that when I was doing the crazy diet for my TV show. Can I tell you something? Yeah.

In my mind, I reversed it. Oh, what was it? In my mind, I had it that you'd think you would stop missing it after a while. Oh no, no. You're so unaccustomed to- I don't have to be haunted anymore. You're so unaccustomed to- I don't have to be haunted anymore. You're so unaccustomed to having these foods

that you no longer crave it. And when I was on the crazy diet, it was like, I don't even have the taste for it anymore. I had that same experience and I can still get that. If you can go just a few weeks without a thing, you will lose the taste for it and you'll be fine. Like you can be around it and be like, Oh, I'm OK. Yeah, yeah.

I know that's so hard, though. It is. It is. I don't want to do it. Heroin? No problem. After one week, you can be around it. People talk like it's a big deal. What other foods? Any other foods? Ice cream, ice, my burger, ice cream.

Is ice cream one of yours? Yeah, ice cream ice cream as ice cream one of yours yeah ice cream is definitely one fun um I'm trying to think like a snack thing I could live without chips could you live without chips I'm gonna say what cheese and crackers oh fucking love cheese like crackers. Like how about Brie and a baguette? Brie and a baguette. What am I right to two-y? Who is that?

That's so good, nothing. I don't know. Oh, Brie and a baguette. Yeah. I, yeah, you know, when Twin Peaks came out, we would have Twin Peaks parties and do Brie sandwiches. Is it connected to the show? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ben and Jerry. And that was the first time I'd ever ever had Brie. And I had it because they were talking about it on Twin Peaks going like smelling the sandwich going, oh, this Ben, Ben, this is the most amazing sandwich I've ever had. It was really effective. Yeah. So I had Brie for the first time. I was like, this actually is good. And so I would have Brie and butter and yum on a, on a big baguette. Yeah, delicious.

Did you say three? I think Brie I would be sad about, but it wouldn't be my top one. You said I think, I think it'd be for me, I think it'd be Pesto chocolate. And I think I'll say I might have to go with pizza. No fries. I would go fries. Yeah. I have, I have kind of, I'll still eat fries, but they are not as desirable to me anymore. You know what I mean?

Like they're there and even the best fries, I'm like, these are good, but I don't have the same kind of hunger for them as I used to. It's really strange. Can I say a, I guess a genre of food? Is that what I'm trying to say? Sure. Mexican food.

Just in general. Yeah. It's all the same kind of stuff. It's how you put it together. Yeah. Yeah. I crave that all the time. Yeah. I would miss that. And then margaritas. Margie. Can you not drink anything? Is it all soil? Soil and green wouldn't be all that bad if they were like, well, yeah, you get to like have wine and margaritas. Yeah, I can wash it down. Oh, you get shitfaced. Yeah. Absolutely.

You're going to still need to get shitfaced. Do they ferment the soylent enough to make it alcohol? Is it just like those little like bars, like little blocks of food? Like I've never seen the actual movie. I've just heard it as a reference. I'm thinking of like district nine or whatever, where they eat those like bars. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like bugs. Snowpiercer. Yeah. Yeah, that. It's still absolutely insane. Absolutely. That they named that product Soylent. That is the wildest decision.

Oh, cause there's a real thing called that now. Right. Oh, meaning there's a new product that they named Soylent. That is the wildest decision. Oh, cause there's a real thing called that now. Yes. Right. Oh, meaning there's a new product that they named Soylent? No, it's been around for a bit. Oh, oh. Yeah. It's like a pouch.

It's like a meal replacement. Yeah. Oh, so you're saying it's wild that they named it after this. It is weird that they named it that. Movie that is like a Twilight Zone. The one thing everybody knows about it. Is that it's people. Yeah. I don't even know what it is knows about is that it's people. Yeah.

I don't even know what it is, but I know it's people. Yeah. Yeah. That's such a strange, that's such a strange thing. That's so weird. A reveal that happens at the exact end of the movie. It's like, well, I don't need to see that. I know what it is.

That's gonna be my third one is people. Oh. I would miss eating people. Okay, this is a reveal. Yeah. Okay, this is a reveal. Yeah, so okay, this is a reveal. Okay, so we're gonna have to cancel you. Okay, so you're army hammer. Okay, allegedly don't impress men. Her songs are so weird. That don't impress so many of them like, okay, so you're a rocket scientist. And that doesn't impress you.

I mean, that should impress you. I mean, it should. You should be impressed by that. Yeah, you're dumb if that doesn't impress you. We should respect science in this country. Yeah. In this house, we respect science. And it doesn't impress us much.

Do you think she had five that part? What if you had a sign that was just- I can respect you without being impressed by you. What if you had a sign that was just the Shania Twain lyrics of- Okay, in this house, you're a rocket scientist? White shirts, men's shirts, short skirts. In this house, these things don't impress me much.

Do you think she had fun on stage? I want you to be like, okay, so you're a rocket scientist. And everyone goes like, wow. I think she had a lot. And she goes, I don't impress me much. I think then they'd be like, you know who the rocket scientists are because they'd be leaving. Yeah, yeah. You see random people.

Pushing their glasses up like, I can't believe it. I knew you, I thought you wouldn't say it this time. One takes off in a rocket. They're concert tickets like they're at the racetrack. Yeah, and then they're saving them a little box and they just say ticket on them. Well, person that rhymes with Ariel. All right. Thank you so much for your question.

Thank you. Yes, we do appreciate it. You never said what your three would be and there was plenty of time. A hack claims eight, by the way. You can leave as long a message as you want. We've written the code to where it'll never hang up on you. I don't know that.

It'll never hang up on you. There's a certain threshold, but find out what it is. There are safe words. I don't know that. It'll never hang up on you. There's a certain threshold, but find out what it is. There are safe words. Push it to the limit. It will hang up on you. There are safe words. There are fail safes. There are dead man switches. There's all kinds of stuff in there. We had a ball writing this. We loved it. We had a long weekend. We were laughing our ass off. We locked ourselves in a cabin for a weekend. It was hysterical. We didn't have any food.

No, we didn't eat it. But we locked ourselves in. We ate megabytes and gigahertz. We ate our computers by the end of the whole thing. It was great. Anyway, we survived on friendship, and we present to you at HagClaims8.com. HagClaims8. a comm it's where to go

Guys that's it for this episode. It really is. Thank you for listening if you would like to hear What ad free versions of the show we still doing that? Yeah, okay Go to CBB world and if you Know yeah, if you want to write to us, we've never checked the email But we have in times past but we don't know what the password is freedom USA gmail.com If you know the password, please tell us if you don't know the password. Don't try to hack into it. That's not an invitation But if we don't even know what it is, how are they gonna be? Everybody's hacking Elmo

Freedom What it is how are they gonna be? Elmo everybody's hacking Elmo Freedom Thank you imagine the FBI Well, I hope everyone has a really great night listen to the show first FBI you we hope everyone has a great night Is your show still happening? Yes August 31st That's the most important thing. Is your show still happening or is it over by now? Yes, August 31st. Come and see us. I will start posting on Instagram at some point.

I haven't even, I posted it once, my story. The next Varietopia is Sunday the 21st of September at Lodge Room and of course it will also be live streamed. Go to varietopia.com for all the information. I have nothing but the final issue of Aston the final, uh, issue of Astonishing Spider-Man came out, it was canceled. And, uh, so I have nothing going on. Cause that was all I was doing with my time.

That's intense. Yeah. Anyway, goodbye. Bye. Good bye. It's easy to feel helpless these days. So take a break from the bad news and hear from people who are doing good things to address big problems. We care about abortion access.

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