Threedom - The Rainbro Bridge

Episode Date: December 11, 2025

Paul, Scott, and Lauren discuss the Statue of Liberty, Simlish, and the farmers’ market before playing The Great Debate. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Unlock every episode of THREEDOM and THREEMIUM, ad-free, on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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You simply must say wow sometimes. Sometimes when we do that opening, it's like, oh, my God. And then when we are back, we're like, whoa. It's like crumb believable. It is crumb believable. It is crumb believable. I'm ready to crumble. Not from a cookie commercial.

We can't talk about this again. I don't want to. Why don't cookie commercials highlight crumbs, though? I know. It's one of the only foods that leave so many crumbs. And it's like, it's like trash that you can eat. Yeah. But I feel like, that's beautiful.

That's so beautiful. Do you think there's going to be a cookie commercial where they're like, those cookies left no crumbs? These cookies, these cookies you will eat and leave no crumbs. These cookies are cunt. Do you feel that? How many? These cookies are.

serving cunt. They're cunty little cookies. His cookies are serving cunt. Honestly, we're not that far away from being able to say that in commercials. That's very true. I know. That's the last front of the final frontier is cunt in commercials. How many cookie companies do you think tried to get cookie monster for a commercial?

Oh, my God. He won't do it. He's not for sale. He can't be behold into a certain type. No, exactly. Exactly. Like Sesame Street must have been like, guys, come on. we can't do you think Sesame Street was ever like let's make our own cookies and sell them

Sesame Street cookies yeah wait does but well they are the face of a brand there is a brand yeah what are they baby food like organic earth's best a baby food really it's not a baby food it's like baby snacks like Gigi has these bars that she likes that have Elmo she loves Elmo and well Holly didn't even really know I don't I don't understand the appeal of Elmo like she didn't know about Elmo I didn't really introduce it as much Because we started watching Elmo, and I just assume anyone who watches Elmo will say, like, oh, what an annoying person or monster or whatever. Person. But I, it's just that voice.

Do you know this man, Elmo? He's very annoying. He's such an annoying man. But I just don't see the appeal. And yet, what do you mean? Well, the voice is so grating and annoying, you know, it's not like he has any. With all due respect, my brother, that is a watch. wild opinion.

That Elmo is annoying? You don't see the appeal of Elmo? I don't say it. Actually, when Tickle Me Elmo was all the rage, I was too old for it, but really wanted it. And I meant to get one. I really wanted it. I was very into, and my mom was trying to get me one. How old were you?

This is a good question because I feel like I could have been a teenager. I was going to say. Let me see. I think I was in middle school, but let me see. Tickle me Elmo. I was that old? I was 11. Fuck.

That's on the cost. So I really wanted it. Yeah. But yeah, I, Emmy watched Sesame Street and she just talks about Elmo and she wants to see Elmo and wants to see Elmo and I just, I just don't understand it. Get on board because there's so many better here, Jimmy Buffett. He's great. His voice isn't grating. His voice is nice.

If you want an annoying voice that's actually artistic, how about Bob Dylan? I'm they're going to say, how about listen to my podcast, sweetie? Oh, honey. What about tickle me Bob Dylan? Tickle me Bob Dylan. Speaking of annoying. Perfect. Speaking of annoying, my, my.

Oh, you're tickling me? Yeah. Annoying characters. My mom came over. And so that's annoying character number one. She came over and gave Emmy belated birthday present. Whoa. Did Amy accept them?

She did accept them. Okay. She did not return any of them. They were all minion-themed. Okay. And I, earlier in the day, it was interesting because Emmy saw a minion on something. And I said, oh, she didn't know what it was. She wanted to know what it was.

And I said, oh, that's a minion. Oh, you haven't seen those movies. Like at some point. Was it on the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade that she said? We had a blast watching that. Oh, yeah. The K-pop. The voice.

I forced it, but everyone liked it. Not Mike, but the kids enjoyed it a lot. Yeah. I mean, it's three and a half hours long, which seems too long for a children's defense. You have to fast forward. You have to fast forward. We did not. You have to start it late and just be zip, zip, zip, zip.

Yeah. But she really enjoyed it. So I was like, oh, wow, you don't know anything about the minions. Well, this is a great opportunity. At some point, we'll see the minions. And then my mom came over and gave her four presents and all of them are minion-themed. Wow. As if Emmy had seen the minions and talked about how much she loved them.

You know what? My mom has done that before where a couple years ago she gave all this peppa pig stuff and we'd never seen it. But now they love it. So it's come around and the toys are meaningful now. But when I first got them, I was like, these are meaningless images. Like I don't know.

You're an idiot. Well, I... It's something we like. It's an opportunity to indoctrinate your kids into what these things are. But in any case, so we got this. It's a great opportunity. Oh, no, that's interesting. Okay, this is a...

Look at that guy. Is that an ornament? This is a minion Christmas ornament, which is fun. But speaking of annoying things and living in a beep house, this is now... This is not on the tree. I mean, just walks around with it. And this is, she presses this button constantly, and this is what it sounds like. It doesn't stop.

Honestly expected it to end. Yeah. Please let there be a bridge. Okay, so she presses it constantly. And it's funny to us right now. I do see that being fun and I kind of want one. It is very funny. Ask your mom.

But we're on day two of probably 30. Yeah. If it were, to be up on the tree, I can imagine, like, she would only press it occasionally, but it's not up on the tree yet, so she wanders around the house with it and just pressing it, and we hear it constantly. And it is making us laugh, but. Wow. But I can't.

Think about her just walking around and you're hearing it the next group. I know. I don't know what the shelf life of us finding it funny is. Like, one more day? I can't quite tell. One day more. You could hide it. You obviously, you took it from her, so she doesn't have it right now.

I did take it from her because Kulap was like, oh, you should play that for them Freedom Boys. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I took it away from her and she's like, what are you doing? What are you doing? I said, I need it for work, honey. What is the meaning of this? Those movies are great, actually,

and I really avoided them for a long time. And Holly loves them, and they are adorable and funny. I've still never seen one. Minions are very funny. What little I have seen of the minions I have enjoyed, I must say. They're probably the great. the greatest comic invention in the last of the 21st century. They're the best comedians I've seen in the last 10 years.

Yeah, it's too bad they went to the Riyadh Comedy Festival. Yeah. I know. Too bad. The Minions. What have you saw that? On a comedy festival. The Minions.

We went to like a children's enter. They call it the Coachella of kids entertainers. I don't know. What is that? No, thank you. And I guess Snoop Dog has some sort of children's entertainment thing that he's... Oh, he raps about how Buzz Light Year can be gay. I have to explain that to my nephew.

Like this. So wait, what is it? Well, okay, so it's all sort of, well, zoom out. And now we're just talking about Snoop Dogg and his children's albums, I mean. I guess. Yeah. I mean, I know that was a thing. Yeah.

So he has albums for kids where he like raps about kid stuff but but also dog themed kid stuff. Oh, I think I've stumbled upon this on Spotify. Yeah. Which I no longer you. Stumbled upon it. Searched it out in the typing bar. But it, uh, so, so it performed and I was like, is Snoop going to be there?

No. They just played this album while. people in huge dog suits danced. That sucks. Warren, you haven't even seen it. I just feel like I can tell. Did it suck? I mean, it was...

You liked it. The kids were enjoying everything about as equally as the other stuff. If the kids liked it, then I guess that's good. I think the kids don't have any kind of opinion of what's good or what's bad. It's just something that's happening. Yeah.

That's an interesting way to... I mean, kids like Michael Rappaport. You know what I mean? Kids love Michael Rappaport. Kids love him. Meanwhile, adults have discerning taste. Yes. And various opinions on Michael Rappaport.

A lot of adults are like, yes, of course I used to like Michael Rappaport. But then I became a man and I put away childish things. I became a man. The day I turned 18. I put aside Michael Rappaport. I know where it's late. for everyone, but do you want to talk about Thanksgiving at all? Sure.

Why were we? On limits? No, I mean, it was too... It was two weeks ago. Do you want to... Oh, really? What do you want to... What do you want to...

What do you want to... For me, it was yesterday. But that's just like it's how it feels. Right. No, Lauren, I feel like you are not a big Thanksgiving person. Is that correct? I'm not. I'm not. But you know what? I sort of had a... I've been having some thoughts about it.

Tell us your thoughts, Lauren. So, you know, you know, I'm not a big Thanksgiving one. So, you know, I'm not a big Thanksgiving. So, you know, so since I've been with Mike, we have kind of decided we don't care about things. We like to travel, go somewhere on Thanksgiving. We've been in Germany. We've been in Tokyo.

I've been in London on Thanksgiving for work reasons. So we've just been away for different reasons. And we kind of were like, who cares? It's kind of a whatever. Well, also, aren't your families kind of further away where it's like not something? Yeah, like we don't, it's like, I don't want to fly there because I'm going to fly there for Christmas. So it's like we kind of made it like a let's just not do that, but we'll do whatever we

want and Mike's a vegetarian so it's like turkey's not a big deal so we just kind of go like do whatever we want then having kids I kind of feel a little not guilt but I feel like I should do something like some sort of tradition because it is part of society and yeah like I don't want her to be like what's Thanksgiving and it's like well I never taught you oh no are you homeschooled so like last year we went to like a friend's house which was really nice and they cooked for us Monica here um no but why do you say that oh like friends, uh-huh. And...

Maybe Chandler be? What if I'd said Chandler? Would that have... That would have. That would have. Is that the only... Or just two of the characters named at the same time. What if I said Gunther?

No, that would have been really obvious. Is Chandler the only Chandler in pop culture, other than, I guess, the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion? Raymond Chandler? Yeah. That's true. But I would say, if you just said the word... Chandle ear?

If you just said the word Chandler to anyone, It's a great TV name because it's not a very common name, but it immediately evokes. Oh, you know. I would love to just walk up to somebody to say, Chandler, Bong. You know what I was? That was really funny. That was a really good joke. And we'll get back to Lauren's story.

But I, speaking of, you know how when they, when you do, when you make a TV show, they always say, like, try to make your main characters have unique names. So everyone associates it with the show. Oh, I've never heard that before. Oh, okay. It's sort of like a... It's actually pretty good advice. Kind of like a screenwriter's trick, and they also say, like, don't call two different characters the same name and stuff. But so I was watching this...

That's just demented. Well, that would be confusing. Although that... Even though you might know two Rachel's in your life, it doesn't really help to have two in the script unless there's a purpose. My, one of my first plays that I ever wrote had two different girls named Lisa in it because I was like going against that advice and I thought it was funny and they were always, like, confusing each other. That's a baby. Bless you. Anyway, so I'm watching The Beast in Me and... Oh, I love that show. Okay. So the two main characters, Paul.

Noted. Okay. Yeah. The two main characters. Okay, Matthew Rees, do you want to know what his name is? His name is Nile. His character's name is Nile. Nile. Not Nile. You're watching it as well. Just the singular Nile. And anytime anyone ever says Nile, it feels like they're forcing themselves to not say Niles. Niles. It feels so weird coming out of everyone's mouth. And then Claire Dane's name is Aggie. Yeah.

Nile and Aggie. Nile and Aggie. Her character's name is Agatha Wigs. I know, but then it's Aggie Wigs. That's not better. I'm just telling you what people call her. Was it based on a book? I think it must be.

I heard her on a podcast. I really enjoy it. I love her, and I think she's very, very talented and fun to watch. Claire Danes or Aggie. Aggie. Aggie. Aggie. You heard Aggie on a podcast.

I call her Aggie Danes now. Oh. If you're ever watching a television show and there's a question of if the main character is a killer or not. Watch them eat a chicken? Well, they're always. You got into that part? Yeah. They're always going to be the killer because the main actors,

always going to want the juicy yelling scene about how they're a killer. Don't tell me any spoilers, though, because I'm only on episode. Are you not there yet? Okay. I just finished episode two last night, and I wanted to keep going, going, going. Gone. We watched it all. We watched it all in two days, I think, Janie and I.

I think I did, too. I'd love to do that if my children would stop screaming. Just have them. We tried to watch all her fault. I'm going to watch that, too. With Sarah Snook. And it was not what we thought it was going to be. What did you think I was going to be?

Did you think it was going to be about Santa? Yeah, all her fault about Santa. We thought it was going to be more of a psychological thriller of like, you know, the child is missing and everybody's kind of gaslighting her or whatever. And it very quick, this is not a spoiler. Very quickly it is not that at all, right? But what was kind of funny about it, and this is a mild spoiler, is that every episode, one of the characters says, look, I haven't been completely honest with you. Good. And after like four times, you're like, okay.

That's what the show is. I'll leave you guys to sort this out on your show. You know what I watched that was really good. Do we talk about this? Disclaimer? No. I loved it with Kate Blanchet. And.

Do you mean disclosure? Oh, you know what? Reverse sexual harassment movie. I did not like disclaimer. What? Because it felt, it felt very, it was adapted from a book and it really felt like adapted from a book. Well, because it had a narrator the whole time. And it had pages turning on the screen.

Yeah. There were. And someone looking their finger and went. Yeah, yeah. And then at one point the TV show gets put down on a nightstand and then you have to pick it up again, eight hours later. Three months later. Yeah. three months.

When you're on vacation and searching for something to do. I got, I'll try that you. I liked it. There were details like he's wearing his wife's sweater, you know. Yeah. And that felt so booky to me for some reason. Yeah, there were things

with that that I but you know what, but you know why I liked that? Well, I don't want to give anything away, but I feel Kevin Klein was amazing in the show. His accent's incredible, in my opinion. He's great. And I love watching. him and um i felt like it just set up a nice it was a nice way to kind of see how his character progressed with his feelings throughout the thing not knowing what this is you're i just want

clarification paul and your your issue is is that kevin klein was wearing his wife's sweater and that felt like a book yeah yeah okay the book the book is about that's what i meant i mean the movie is about the show is about let me start over okay the movie is about the book I also the book is about. So I got really lost there. The movies about the show is about the book is about. The movie's about the show is about the book is about. It's basically too hard to explain.

I think you should just watch it. But I liked it. Anyways, but Thanksgiving, can I talk about that again? Yeah, yeah. So back to Thanksgiving. So you, this year. So this year, I still didn't do anything really, but we stayed. We decided to make a family day and we stayed home and Mike cooked some recipes.

You decided to make Thanksgiving a family day? Well, as opposed to trying to do something. You mean you observed Thanksgiving? We did. We observed it this year. We did. And Mike cooked some stuff and he and I ate that. We just kind of cracked open a couple cookbooks and picked out some new recipes.

So we had a yummy bow-tie pasta with some walnuts and chives and sauce and it was really good. And then some beef steak tomatoes with garlic and different things on them. And that was like a good. Beef steak tomatoes, it feels like false advertising, doesn't it? Because it's a vegetable. It's not beef. It's not beef or steak. I like tomatoes sometimes.

They're kind of pretending like this is the equivalent of a steak, tomato-wise. Yeah, it's thick enough since you're if you're not going to eat a steak because you're a pussy, you could just eat this big thick tomato. If you're a coward, why don't you try this beefsteak tomato? and we watched some movies and we just had a nice day and we played with chalk and bubbles how were they by the way Chau and bubbles

they're so good fun to hang out with what'd you watch what did we watch you know it's a blur but we watched the parade and that was actually the highlight I would say

Mike hates the parade did they go nuts when Santa showed up Mike hates parades he hates parades of course in general yeah no one plays chest during them

he really hates that one and I got him to stay in Hold on one second Scott what are the things do you know about Mike That's about the extent of it Quite honestly He placed chess

He said two chess rips So far today He goes to Japan Yes He plays to Japan He plays in the parking He was invited to And actually the person

He invited him Is a listener of this show He was invited to be in the wedding of someone getting married in Japan in August. And we really would like to go if we can. And we're going to try to make it happen. Is it someone that you know? I actually don't know this person, really.

Mike met him. I can't remember how they met initially. But they have since hung out in Japan. See, this person lives in Japan. They've hung out in Japan. It's not Godzilla, is it? his name is g dash d yeah yeah do jewish people have a problem saying godzilla all of them yes i anyway so that would be really cool anyway so i felt like thanksgiving

i was sort of in my head i haven't really talked to mike about this but i was sort of like I'd like to figure out a tradition that feels right to me that is fun, that feels fun. Yeah, make your own tradition. It doesn't have to be turkey. It doesn't have to be a certain grouping of people. Right. Your turkey looked really good.

I smoked a turkey this year. I thought it was just fine. The skin looked amazing. The skin looks really good. I thought it was just fine. It was the first time I'd ever done it and I was told by Kulap I was doing it. because as discussed on this show, she sometimes takes on too much on the holidays and it put her in the emergency room that one year when she lied about her age and everyone thought she was having a stroke. That's right.

And so I was told I was doing the turkey and I'd never done it before, but I did it. And I thought, and I was like, yeah, this is fine. And cool up and everyone was like, this is the best turkey we've ever had. And I was like, okay, I'll try it again today. I'm going to have a sandwich with it today after we tape this show. and I'm going to see if I like it a little better. But I thought it was fine. But it looked good.

A turkey sandwich sounds good. It looks great. You want me to mail you one? Yeah, please. FedEx it. Sure. Yeah, it is. I actually was thinking I wish that we were recording at your house today because then I would get to take some of your food.

Yeah. We would love to give you some. Do they have FedEx that can be there in like an hour anywhere? You can do it via Uber. I'm not really requesting that. But my friend did do that with Thanksgiving leftovers for me one time. She sent it over in an Uber. She sent it over in an Uber that is, so no passenger, just food?

Yeah. It's Uber, it's called something, but they will do that. Uber leftovers? They'll just pick up something and take it to deliver. Called Uber Weird? Yeah, it's called Uber Weird. I've done it before with a few people picking things up and dropping things off. It's actually very convenient.

Huh. Mm-hmm. I was talking to someone the other day who only uses the Waymos, the robot cars. I've never been in one. they swear by it and say it's so much better it's it's first of all it feels so much safer and secondly you don't have to have a driver which i know is a big concern with especially with women yeah um yeah it's true it's safer than a lot of erratic people but i also yeah it's weird it's weird i've definitely been in uber is where i've been scared because the person seems

like they're like high or something right and then i've also um been nervous about the idea of getting in a car where there is no driver because that seems really bizarre, but they're very adept at traveling through the traffic. Can I come, can I give a complaint? I don't want to say that I looked at Reddit, but I did. Someone was like, Lori needs to get off of social media entirely because she doesn't understand what's real and what's fake because I got scammed by that marshmallow. Anyone can get scammed by a marshmallow. Let me just say one thing. I have declared two times that I've been scammed, two times 2020 and now. I generally have a good sense of what's real.

So, shut the fuck up. You know, everybody's happened to everybody at some point. Yeah, everyone gets down for your damn. I'm not some old-ass boomer, you idiot. Do you know, I had a friend of mine texted me recently to say, hey, just so you know, a couple of the things that you reposted on Instagram were AI videos. And then I go back and look at them. And then I see the thing that's fucked up.

Yeah. I mean, like, the arms are all fucked up or something that I didn't notice the first time. Right. And now it's, and it's mortifying, you know. There's so many and it's, I actually, if the argument for me getting off social media would be, I don't want to deal with any of this shit anymore. Well, that's the thing. I don't want to see your fake shit.

I don't care if I fall for it. I just don't even want it. I don't want to see it. It's a waste of my time. Exactly. Then I'm looking at shit now and I'm like, okay, I'm examining this way with a magnifying last to make sure, this thing that I, not even to share it, but just to enjoy it.

Like, am I stupid? You don't want to have to feel like you're examining this a pruder film or something like every time you're online, you know? And it's just like it made me close. I mean, maybe that's what's going to get me off Instagram. That's what was like, yeah, I was like I enjoyed this, but now like, what am I? If you quit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We will get you off. Don't worry. No, no, no. I have many ways to get off. 21 positions in one night stand Do you know that some coloring books are very hot Okay look You can color them to make the characters nude

We have to add tits We have to take a break Okay You know if you run a small business Yeah there's nothing small About these businesses The decisions you have to make Even the smallest decision that you do make, it feels massive sometimes, right?

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after I decided those things. Now I'm a hermit and no one likes me. Anyway, if you're not on top of your money, you could be missing chances to save more, invest smarter, and hit your financial goals faster. Like buying a home, saving for retirement, you name it, whatever you want to do with your money. Don't let financial opportunity slip through the cracks. Use code freedom at monarch.com in your browser for half off of your first year. That's 50% off your first year at monarch.com with the code freedom. And we're back. Yeah, I know. And yeah, I knew that already. I wanted to say I felt I felt I think for a scam the other day where a friend, not even a friend, but an acquaintance, and perhaps you, perhaps you

receive this, but a, but a Hollywood acquaintance, who, whom I did not even know had my email. Wow. Sent an evite to something recently. And, and I, oh, okay. I got the same thing and I thought it was a scam so I didn't click it. I clicked on it. Wow. And I was, because I was actually so curious if it wasn't a scam and I was missing some sort of invitation. I figured it. I know what it. I got the exact thing. Yeah, I figured it might be like some sort of screening or something. Right. I thought it could be

like that. Like, hey, I have a new project and we're showing it at our house or whatever. So I clicked on it and nothing really came up and I was like, oh, this is a scam. Why would this person be eviding me to anything? But not, but I don't think anything happens when I clicked on it. But I didn't say like hello pervert or anything. I see your P-N-I set up, by the way. Yeah, I don't, I didn't click that and I felt concerned about what it was,

but not to the point where I was going to message him and ask if it was, but then I was like, someone's telling him if he's hacked. So I also feel like if you are hacked in that regard, shouldn't you send a follow-up email to everyone and be like, hey, don't click on this thing? Yes. If you know that you've been hacked, but if you don't. But someone must have.

Like you and they were like, oh, am I invited or not? I don't want to look like an idiot. I'm not going to say anything. Someone must have told this person. I didn't get this scam Evite. And I think this person knows you better than me. I'll tell you who it was in the chat. Now, that's really insulting.

Yeah. This scammers should do their homework. Yeah. Okay, there it is in the chat. You know what? I did not get one from that person, but I got one from someone related to that person. Oh, interesting. So then was it real?

But that was a real email. It was not, there was no link or anything. Oh, this was like a. an Evite link. Wow. Interesting. So there's a... Was it about Thanksgiving?

No. It was a family of scammers. Yeah, that's so weird. It's a great movie. We should write it. Family of scammers? Scam family? Scam family.

Scam family. Scamly. Scamly. Stan Lee. Stanley Reunion. That's the sequel. Scamly reunion. Stan Lee.

Scamly excels here. Scammers. Tyler Perry's scamly reunion. Featuring Medea. Of course featuring Medea. Tyler Perry's Medea's scamly reunion. It's like Ruth's Chris. Yeah, exactly.

Now, I read about Ruth's Chris if people don't know what that is. We talked about this on the podcast. We talked about the reason why. And then it had some very clear reason. It was because I was. That was boring in a letdown. No, I was reading recently that it was something to do with this, this this the Chris's steakhouse the person who owned it kept letting people run it for a fee and it

would always fail and then Ruth did it Ruth who who had a different steakhouse that everyone loved took it over and she called it Ruth's Chris so everyone knew it was her doing it and it was wildly successful and the guy kept trying to like get her out of bit run her out of business idiot and so so the license stopped or something, so she took over the name Ruth's Chris, which is what she was using. Anyway, fascinating stuff, said by me right now. I'm wrapped. Yeah.

That's really great. Really interesting. So how was everyone's Thanksgiving really quick? Mine was very nice. I'm in New York for the Amy Man to Leo Christmas tour. Did you go up to the Statue of Liberty? day. Not yet.

Yeah, I always do that right before you leave. On Thanksgiving, yeah, on Thanksgiving, she's holding a pumpkin pie, right? Yeah. So I climb out in the torch or the pie, depending on the season. And then I slide down the arm. I climb up on her shoulder, get right up. Do you say like we or anything, or is it kind of silent? No, I think God bless America.

Oh, okay. For as long as I'm sliding. Then I... God bless him. Okay. God bless him. Then I make my way very cautiously up to her face. And I give her a kiss on the cheek.

Yeah. And I whisper into her ear, I love you, and always will. Then I begin the laborious climb back up the arm. Wow. To get back into the pie or torch. And then I walk all the way down. A lot of people. don't realize because they don't get

that close to the Statue of Liberty, but she's a pizza face. Is it a pizza face or a butter face? Okay. No, her face is gorgeous, but she does have adult acne. And I don't know why they would put that into a statue. I don't know. It's crazy. Yeah, it's crazy.

But it adds a touch of a real person. Yeah. It was based on a real person with adult acne. And then you had it, you had turkey? Yes. After rehearsal, Amy and I were invited to our friend Jonathan Colton's home and he and his family and some other friends that we knew were inviting us over there into their home and it was a really lovely time. That's so nice and he's the

famous cruise ship man. That's what he's known for. He's a cruise ship man. Yeah, he was the inspiration for Gofer. Uh-huh. Gofer to yourself. Scott, you had family over and a beautiful table scape by Ku-op. Yeah, we have a a cross section of family and friends all the time. Mm-hmm. Does anybody bridge those worlds? No, if your family, you are not a friend.

Very, very true. And vice versa. Cool. It was good. But, you know, I mean, after smoking this turkey, I took a lot of smoke in the face. And one of my hands felt like it had a slight, it felt kind of like a sunburn a little bit because I, opened up the thing. The smoker, that's not the green egg thing.

It is. It is. Oh, it is that. Okay. Did you have a close encounter of the third kind? I think I did, yeah. So how hard is it to use that thing? Well, the challenge with it is it's an imprecise science.

It's done mainly by feel. Oh, that's why your hand got sunburned. Yeah. That's why your meat was bloody. You keep putting your hand on this smoking chicken. it's in order to get the right temperature like it stays it at the right temperature if you can get it to the right temperature but so so it's like nice work it's a lot like Michael Richards in his film career it's it's a lot of trial and error um and uh we don't we don't do that here oh okay yeah we don't do those CB TV TV jokes here yeah it's really specific hey man I'm not Paul rust. You can't just do that to me, but expect me to jump up and down. More of a Neil Campbell kind of thing. That feels true. But just after, after doing that like for the whole day and quite

honestly, having wine the entire time, like at 11 a.m. I was like, oh, it's a holiday. I can, I can drink wine while I do this. And it just, I should have done that by the, by the, Do you do some medical cocaine. By the time we served the turkey and everyone ate, I was just, like, wiped out and, like, ready for it to be over. Mm-hmm. And then everyone left and Nemi went to bed and then everyone just kind of like, I just, Cool Up was super tired and went up into bed and I just sat there watching three episodes of I love L.A. Which I think should be a new Thanksgiving tradition.

Sure, three episodes. Yeah, Cool up sleeping. The same three. Yep Like, it's like watching It's a Wonderful Life On Christmas Eve Will you please play the

The Minion Christmas Orming again? Oh, I would love to Yeah, I can feel Paul's kind of dipping Now do you feel like Carbonara

Now do you feel like You're off book With this song, Scott? Not yet. At one point It sounds like he says Keyboard Keyboard

Fala And a sheep Are any of the minion phrases meant to sound like actual human phrases in order to... Sometimes they do say things that kind of communicate a little more. Is there a Rosetta Stone for the minion language? I think it's a mixture of a few languages and I think it's really beautiful and I'm trying to learn it. Yeah. I saw a video of these two Italian women who are the Italian voices of the...

Italian voices of the minions. It's very, it's very adorable and it's very fun to watch. That's cute. He just saw, Scott, you just saw a video of two Italian women. Two Italian women doing something different. That was, you answered way too quickly. Oh, I saw that. Oh, wait.

I saw it. I was different. What would you rather learn minionese or sim-wish? Oh, wow. I was really into the Sims for a while when I was a teenager, middle schooler. it was a really fun game and you could play that for hours and hours because we didn't really have internet access all the time as kids these days do and so that was a very fun thing to do um and a simlish is a very fun language um i think minionese is more prevalent in our society at this point so it's probably more a scientist i think it's a more beautiful language minnese yeah simlish yeah i find it fun when bands put out a version of their song in simlish it's that happens oh yeah yeah still yeah i think i mean i don't know what the last one was i've never heard of maybe two years ago but yeah occasionally bands will do it it's very fun really

there's there's didn't irvana put out bleach in simlish yeah i think so bleach um kirkombe loved the sims wow i'm really i didn't know about this isn't it sad that kirkomay died before the minions I know, it would have maybe brightened up his days a little more. Much in the way that Anne Frank would have been a Belieber, I believe that Kurt Cobain would have loved the minions. I have seen Katie Perry do this.

Wasn't there? Oh, yeah, Katie Perry did it. I was on board. Wasn't there someone who said it was sad that Kurt Cobain died before something implying that it would have saved his life? I feel like that's a thing recently that some insane. Over-the-counter heroin? I'm going to look this up.

Kurt Cobain died before. Before. GPS? Oh, he would have loved GPS. Kirk Cobain. GPS would have saved Kurt Cobain's life. Helen Mirren said this. Helen Mirren said this.

Helen Mirren said that? Helen Mirren says this. Why is she saying this? Helen Mirren has lamented that Nirvana frontman, Kurt Cobain, did not live long enough to be able to experience. the excitement of tracking his location on his phone. What? What the fuck?

Here's a quote from her. First of all, I feel like he wouldn't want to do that. I always say it's so sad that Kurt Cobain died when he did because he never saw GPS as it's the most wonderful thing to watch my little blue spot walking down the street. Is this from click hole? No, this is real. I just find it completely magical and unbelievable.

Oh, this is what happens if somebody drops a penny off the Empire State building and it goes into your skull. This is like the weirdest take ever. And this is not the first time she said something like this. In 2014, she told Oprah Winfrey of all people, look at Kurt Cobain. He hardly even saw a computer. The digital stuff that's going on is so exciting. I'm just so curious about what happens next. Why is he her touchpoint for that?

The following year. There's many, many people who didn't experience this. In 2015, she told Cosmopolitan, I was thinking about Kurt Cobain the other day, and he died without knowing the Internet. And I'm totally blown away by that. What? What? Then in 2016, she told the Daily Mail, if I died at 27 the age that Kirk Cobain died in 1994, I'd never have known there was an Internet. Incredible things are happening all the time. I can't wait to see what comes next.

And they're not the same age. No, they're not. why is that relevant to anything? You know what I mean? Like if they were the same age, maybe she would go like, wow, that's so crazy. But also, they weren't close. Like, there's kind of no reason to be referencing. It would be someone in

your family or a close friend maybe that you'd be kind of obsessed, like, oh, they never saw this thing or they never got to, I don't understand him as her person and why she said it so many times. She thinks about him a lot. Maybe it's clickbait that she's creating. She might be wanting to create clickbait. She's like starting to see like what

what carries what stories carry through yeah maybe she made a deal with clickbait yeah well there's this interesting story happening right now that kate beck and sale said her child's or daughter's boyfriend or something laid an egg he laid two eggs in the toilet is his name robin yeah and she was on kimmel telling the story and then people in the comments are saying she's taking the piss she knows it's funny and I kind of have to go with she's taking a piss mate I kind of have to go with that route with that because I can't I can't come to any other conclusion she also said the eggs were slightly hard boiled as they'd cooked in his stomach but they came out of where you'd think they'd come out not his mouth ears or eyes they came out where they'd come out of a hen and then

they didn't come out of his eyes yeah they came out of his beehole huh the hen eggs don't come out of a beehole do they they come out no but I don't think he has a cloaca what if he does though maybe she oh yeah we don't know about this boyfriend well then that would be a real interesting thing for people to investigate that would be real interesting in the toilet I guess I put it I put it together that it was in the toilet

maybe they weren't and they were in the bathroom and apparently they had a yolk the toilet is the human nest you can toilet train a chicken to lay eggs to the toilet yeah now I sort of imagine a world where she was like I don't have anything fun to talk about in the show. I'm just going to say that you laid two eggs and see what happens.

And it's been very big news. What's this world look like? Does it look like Earth, but it has subtle differences? The world that we're in right now. Yeah, the world you're imagining. Oh, yeah. It's essentially this, but cars have more fun color options. Kind of like how they used to. Yeah. Yeah. Brown. Any, are the land masses? I want to see more brown. I want to say more brown. I want to see more blue. I want to see more pink yellow. I saw a really fun yellow van. Oh, did you really? Yeah. What was it like? Was it a VW?

It was a, it was a, I think Volvo, sort of a van for like, I don't know, like a shuttle kind of van. Yeah. Wait, did it have SpongeBob on it? Were you at the airport? Oh, shit. Was SpongeBob? Does SpongeBob do something at the airport? There's an airport.

L-A-X airport shuttle that has Spongebob on him? I think. No. So no. I was at the farmer's market. So that would be a no. So that's a big no right there. What'd you do with the farmer's market, dear?

I took my children there because I had a Sunday morning with them. And it's a great place for them to run around without me having to hold on tightly to both of them. You went to the farmer's market on. on Sunday morning. It should have changed this yesterday without any morning. I don't know what you guys are doing. And you don't want me,

it was great. They love the lemonade. We got some fresh flowers, some fresh spaghetti. We got some fresh, you know. These steak tomatoes. Croscence. Is this fresh uncooked spaghetti?

Or is this? Fresh uncooked spaghetti? Handmade. Oh, so I was kind of... Not so just some loose hot spaghetti. Yeah. There's a woman there who I think might be... There's a woman there who I think might be...

Lose hot spaghetti. They just put it in your hand. Lose hot spaghetti here. Lose hot spaghetti. There's a woman there who I think might be a scammer. Okay. Okay. Woo, wee, wee, we'll, Lauren's scam corner.

She's selling Advent calendars. And this... So they say, sell, it's a stand with like Italian goods. It's, uh, run by an Italian woman. And there's, there are some fresh pastas, pizzas, cheeses, really yummy stuff. And I've, I, so I went there for the first time a couple weeks ago. And I bought some things. And she said the price in Italian. And I did take Italian in college, but I, you know, only no basic things. Very little. If you told me that, I forgot that. I can't believe we haven't talked about it. Very little. It was, it should have kept

going with Spanish, but I did try to do Italian. And I never knew what was going. on and it was stressful but what's going on and these people are speaking gibberish I just didn't study I really didn't like doing it um but she said the price in Italian and I just had her scan my card but I knew she said she said 50 okay that was a word that I heard and I was like 50 yeah so then later I get the receipt in my email or it came in right away but I didn't see it till later and it was $73. I go, oh, she says it in Italian so you don't know what's going on. And then she types in whatever number she wants.

Why wouldn't she just say the actual number in Italian? You know what I mean? Because you don't know Italian. Because you might know a little. If she said 70, I might go 70. That's a lot. Right. But it's.

Was it the exchange rate? It's like Cinque, you know, whatever they use there. And then. She's not in Italy. Oh, she's not. Oh, I miss that. part. So then...

What's her address? I don't know. And then I went back again because I said, first of all, I liked the goods. And I also was like, let me just see what happens when she does it to me again. So you're returning to get scammed twice. Well, I want to call it out. So this time, she said it in Italian. Now it's a sting.

Yeah. Yeah. And I said, sorry, what is it? And she changed the number. Whoa. Different price. That's what you have to do. In English.

See. So what was the price in English this time? The price was, I didn't get the same exact stuff, but the price was like 40 bucks and she was giving me a higher number. But I went, now next time I'm going to buy the exact same items. And I'm going to compare the price. So you're a return customer. I'm just having fun. Oh, you're having fun.

Because the prices aren't listed anywhere. Everything's good. It's not that expensive for the amount of food I'm getting. But I'm like, let me hear what you're going to do to me this time. I find it fun. I'm going to go on Sunday and I'm going to see what happens. We have to have a follow-up next week.

Yeah, and this time I'm going to be really clear. I'm going to try to really listen. Could you ask her what every single thing that she sells, how much it is? I could try that next time. Yeah. Yeah. I'd like to know that.

Yeah. It's worth asking because it's pretty unclear. Quanto cost this? Yeah, you should come with me and speak Italian and see it. Oh, well, you cancel your trip and. go with Lauren to this farmer's market? Yeah, I will. Okay.

Yeah. I'm not going to tell anybody either. How soon do you think you could get home? I could get home tonight. The idea of you bailing and just meeting me at the farmer's market is so funny. And like, just not really caring at all or that you affected this whole thing. Trying to explain, like explaining it as if it makes perfect sense. Yeah, no, no, no, I had to go to the farmer's market with Lauren.

Talked about it on the podcast. She just wanted me to go and I speak Italian better than she does. And she just wanted me to go. And so I just, I had to. I had to. And I'm sorry I couldn't tell anyone, but you understand. I got this shitty update from Duolingo. Oh, no.

I was like, is this Duolingo shitty update corner? Yeah. It was like, congrats on 11 years, Lauren. I was like, what? And it's like, you've learned 200 words. I was like, what? That's not a lot. That's nothing.

And they're like, you started out really. strong learning 200 words. I was like 11 years ago, I guess. That's like 15 words. I just thought that was absurd. They love to get you, you know? I got bad news. I'm in the demotion zone right now on Dool-London.

Wow. What does that mean? No, what happened? Well, there's, you know, you have to, you're competing against other language learners. Oh, are they your friends? Sometimes there's friends and strangers in there. It's fun when you see a friend in the list. Yeah. But right now, I'm in the Diamond League, which is as high as you can go.

And I'm number 18. I'm in the demotion zone. So I have to do some lessons to crawl my way back out and finish strong. Okay, Paul, you can do this. I'm really stressed. And I have to take a bottle of Atavann just to be able to get through this day. Paul, we believe in you. Thank you.

Don't speak for me. It's very funny when Emmy, I have any slight trouble. like opening something or something she says dad you can do it she's like so supportive I'm like uh if I make that noise she's like dad you can do it um all right we have to keep keeping you going we have to take a break okay uh oh the fashion police are here can you hear those sirens yeah I can boy they're here to lock

me up for what I'm wearing. I can get you out of this situation. On bail? Even better. I won't have to go to fashion jail in the first place. Full exoneration. Oh, a pardon? If you listen to me.

Fashion pardon? You'll get a fashion pardon. Okay. I'm listening. It starts like this. Cold mornings, holiday plans. This is when you need your wardrobe to just work. That's why I'm all about, for you,

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Oh, the good fractions, okay. It's everything you actually want to wear built to hold up season after season, after season, after season. I got some stuff from Quince, Paul. You're going to be very proud of me. I got the Mongolian Kashmir Neck sweater. Nice. I'm a big fan of that. It's great for when you want to feel cozy.

but still look, you know, at your best. I wear it all the time. And honestly, I would wear it even more if my wife weren't borrowing it all the time. Girl, I hear you. My wife keeps stealing my quince items. I have a wonderful soft cashmere hoodie that I got from them.

Oh. And she has claimed it as her own, which is honestly very aggravating. My wife has also been going into our bank accounts and stealing money from my own bank account that I have kept secret. And I'm really concerned about that. My wife has literally taken food out of my mouth.

Oh, no. Like, I put a forkful of food on my mouth and she's taking it out of there. That's the right amount as far as I'm concerned. A forkful. That's how I eat food by the forkful. Exactly. Anyway, get your wardrobe sorted and your gift list handled with Quince. Don't wait.

Go to quince.com slash freedom for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada, too. That's Q-U-I-N-S-S-R-E-N-S-E. C.E.com slash freedom. Free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash freedom. Hey, don't let an overpriced phone bill

ruin your holiday mood. Who are you? I'm sorry. I'm the ghost of Christmas Mintmobile. Oh, okay. No, Christmas Mint Mobile died? Well, right now, Mint Mobile has all of their unlimited plans at 50% off.

That's half. That's a huge amount, You can get three, six, or 12 months of unlimited premium wireless for $15 a month. It's their biggest deal of the year. And the perfect moment to politely, or not so politely, give your old wireless bill the Scrooge treatment. You know what I'm saying, where you scare them and turn them nice. Yeah, exactly. That's what Scrooge did. Now, let me ask you a question.

Are all Mint Mobile plans coming with high-speed data and unlimited talk and text on the nation's largest 5G network? Paul, you know that that is correct. Now, I wish that passed me, Christmas past you? Christmas passed me, knew about Mint Mobile earlier because I could have saved so much money over the years. But thankfully, Christmas present me knows about Mint Mobile and I'm saving money now, right? So, you know, switching for my old providers helped me save hundreds. And when I say hundreds, I don't mean hundreds of, you know, breadcrumbs. I'm talking about dollars.

Oh, that's better. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you know what those savings mean? More Christmas presents under the tree. Yeah, so don't miss it. Mint Mobile's best deal of the year.

It's happening right now. Turn your expensive wireless present into a huge wireless savings future by switching to Mint. Shop Mint Unlimited Plans at MintMobil.com slash freedom. That's mintmobile.com slash freedom. Paul, what do you got to say to that? I just want to piggyback on what you're saying,

a limited time offer, up front payment, $45 for $3 month, $90 for six months, or $180 for 12-month plan required $15 per month equivalent taxes of ease extra initial plan term only greater than 35GB may slow when network is busy gigabytes device gigabytes capable device required availability speed and coverage varies c mintmobile.com and we're back hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi and hey it's time for a feature that we call a three we do that we do this occasionally we'll call it a buster yeah i've called it barrow it's known as sometimes sometimes yeah definitely um the most important thing is we always do it we always do it there has not been an episode where we didn't do it we will pay in fact we'll pay a million

dollars to anyone who finds a clip of us not doing it cash cash you're gonna go fucking briefcase baby tax free by the way tax free cash we'll pay we'll pay The pay the taxes. We'll pay the taxes. We'll pay for the briefcase. Oh, wait. I'm not going to pay for the briefcase. I mean, that's fair.

If you're giving somebody a million dollars tax-free, they should at least, you know, $30 for a briefcase. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, unless you want a high-end one, like, go for it. Yeah. Do they keep the briefcase? No, they have to return it. They have to return once they empty it of the money.

Okay. Do you think all briefcases should have numbers on them like deal or no deal? yeah why wouldn't they when you like businessman briefcases when you think about it it's pretty weird that they don't have it yeah it's actually it's actually pretty weird my briefcase has a number on it of course um well it's the fuck are we doing it's it's time to play this three turn this one is called the great debate it was submitted by stephen with a ph oh forget i'm guessing stephen marley brother to zigi marley who wrote that terrible children's book. Oh my God. Didn't even write it. Wrote a song and then is reaping the benefits. Duda,

doda. In two media. Yeah. Yeah. Why isn't it a cartoon? That's true. Like, this is one of the world's greatest songs.

He's leaving money on the table. Mm-hmm. And yes, he's taking the table with him and all the crumbs. And the cunt. Serving. Serving cunt. Okay.

Serving cunt. Serving cunt. Cunts, come pick up your order. I'm number 68. Am I before or after? Okay, so the great debate, here's how it's played. One participant, and by the way,

Paul, Lauren, and I are all participants. One participant is the debate moderator. The other two are competitors. Each person secretly. chooses a word including the moderator and then we reveal those words and the competitors debate whose word is closer to the moderators and after final statements of the moderator chooses a winner amazing oh also one of the thing It's almost like Ebola at one point.

Oh, Ebola. Oh, Ebola. Ebola. Ebola. The girl is hard to get. So what happens? Who wants to be the moderator? That's what I was asking.

I want to be the moderator first. Okay. Okay. So we're all going to pick a word. I'm going to write mine down. Yeah, write it down. Yep. Hey, I want to show you this note that I wrote at some point.

Okay. Can you see that? Too orked. Yeah, what it, you wrote that note to remind yourself of something? This was the first thing. Could you maybe, too oranked? Could you maybe like almost go backwards and then it says, it says what you actually meant to type before I corrected that? I can't almost go backwards.

Okay, yeah. Okay. You only move forwards, right? Every ready with a word? I have mine. Everybody ready with a word. Okay, Paul, no, I don't. I have, I'm erasing to orked.

Okay. On Sunday morning. I have my word. Okay, we all have our words. Yep. Yes. Okay, Lauren, do you want to reveal your word first? No, I go last.

You go last. Okay. My word is blindness. Ooh, scary. My word is Baleen. What is that? Well, you'll tell me in the debate. You're about to fucking find out.

My word is bravery. Bravery, three B words. That's interesting. Isn't that? Mm-hmm. Scott, I've already forgotten yours. Blindness. Blindness.

Yep. Okay. Okay, so Scott, I'm going to give you a minute on the time. timer in just a moment. Okay, and in one minute, please tell me why that connects to bravery. I feel that people with disabilities or people who are differently abled are some of the most brave people in the world because they're taking on life's challenges and it's a little bit more challenging for them, but they forge ahead with such incredible bravery.

I think people who have lost one of their senses are some of the most brave people in the world, and that includes people who have blindness. There's a reason why the Marvel Comics character Daredevil is called The Man Without Fear, because he's a blind superhero, and yet he goes ahead and puts one foot in front of the other and just keeps on fighting the good fight. He's very brave. And so I truly believe that people who have blindness are incredibly brave. And I think there's no better match of words than those two words.

Wow. And that's one minute. That was absolutely amazing. Okay. Paul, Baylene, bravery, go. Baylene. You know, when I think of bravery, I think of the mighty whale. the great mammal of the sea,

and how it employs Baleen, which is a filter feeding system inside its mouth. It looks like a bunch of little brushes. And when you think about how this gigantic creature has to eat these tiny little things called plankton, called krill, and all it can do is filter everything out of its massive, gigantic maw

with little hairy brushes. That's brave. Because who could get in there? A shark, an octopus, Jonah, Pinocchio. This is going to cause havoc.

We all know what happened when Pinocchio and Geppetto went into a whale's mouth. Time. They had to... Do we get rebuttal of 30s? You get a 30 second rebuttal and go, Scott. My esteemed opponent, Paul, mentioned sharks.

And it reminds me of the lyric of a song when that shark bites, which, of course, is the song Mac Tonight with the blind mascot, Mac Tonight, who is one of the bravest cartoon characters I've ever seen. He's out there eating burgers and singing songs, even though he could just... Time. Okay, Paul. Well, my opponent chooses to infantilize people who don't have sight, condescending to them and telling them just by virtue of wearing sunglasses during the nighttime that they are heroes. I don't seek to do that. I seek to remind you that whales who have been under attack

since time and memorial continue to go around eating little tiny things despite the fact that people are trying to kill them. No time. Stop. Paul got five extra seconds so I need Scott to talk for five extra seconds.

Okay. And go. Mackinite is blind. He's not just. wearing sunglasses at night like Corey Hart. Stop. Okay. After much deliberation, after hearing both arguments that were both extremely powerful and moving.

Thank you. I'm going to award this one to Scott. That's insane. I'm insane. I'm crazy. This is a kangaroo court. I'm crazy. I'm crazy.

Thank you, Lauren. You're welcome. I think I was, Paul, I have to say, you're probably the better. orator, I just had the advantage of having a word that more closely aligned to Lawrence. Paul's arguments were much stronger, but you were just lucky. Yeah. But I'd rather be lucky than good. Great.

And I was. Let's hear what the next situation is. Okay, so am I the moderator? Yes. If you'd like to be. Okay. Let's all write down our word. Okay.

Okay. I've written down my word. Me too. Very close. Paul's so close. He's edging. He's gooning. Freedom.

The only podcast. where Paul left Tompkins goons. That's not the only one. Oh, that's not true. Okay. Paul, what is your word? My word is beanie. Beanie.

Just showing us other parts of your phone. I know, not even the word. Lauren's word is crackers. The word I have picked is steroid. Okay. All right. We're going to go with Paul first. Paul, I'm going to put.

60 seconds on the clock, and I'm not going to press lap. All right. Go ahead. When you think of steroids, you think of bros in the gym. You think of a guy with a big, mussely torso, glistening with oils and sweat. And what's he wearing on his head? A fucking beanie. That's right.

This guy's in the gym. He's sweating, but wearing a beanie. I've seen it, you've seen it, we've all seen it. Beanie are synonymous with the type of person who wants to bulk up in some way, whether it's with steroids or by making their head look bigger by wearing a woolly hat.

And also you can pull the hat down, a beanie, over your face to look scary. That's what steroid people do. They want to look scary. They want to intimidate people. Beanie and steroids, same thing. What's the difference?

Show me the lie. Show me on the doll where they're different. Time. All right, Lauren. Okay. You have one minute. Steroids. The number one thing that they do, according to Webster's dictionary, is bulk you up.

Crackers. Crackers are also used to bulk things up. Of course, as we know from Scott talking on this very podcast, they bulk up his daughter and give her power. They also bulk up soups and they bulk up stuffings and gravies and all sorts of things. They can be used to make many things you'd be very surprised about. Steroids also can be used to make things you're surprised about, such as muscles. And it is unnatural to eat crackers as it is unnatural to use steroids. And also steroids are typically white as are crackers.

I don't think either is true. Three seconds, two seconds. All right, time, time, time, time. All right, Paul, 30 second rebuttal. The idea that all steroids are white is quite frankly absurd. I've seen steroids across the rainbow spectrum and across the rainbow bridge when animals... The rainbow bridge? Shaves my time.

When animals have taken steroids because they want to be scarier so they can defend their homes from the UPS guy. It's disgusting to me. Lauren's disgusting and I'm disgusted. Time. Lauren, you have 30 seconds to rebut. Paul is known throughout Hollywood. being a cuck-ass bitch who lies. Everything he just said was offensive.

I'm not even going to address half of it. I think it goes without saying that I'm closer to the word steroids with my word crackers. They're both plural. Although I said steroid, not steroids. But go ahead. But typically they are plural. Cut off the mic. And I was, I was, that was it.

That's it. That's it. Wow. What a powerful debate. I, to be honest, I was on Paul's side until I heard that he was a cuck-ass bitch and known throughout Hollywood for that. But, um, thoughts. I have to say crackers are neither white. I mean, some, some crackers are, I guess, ritz or saltines are white. Maybe, but not all.

Look, how easy it was for you to think of one. Not all saltines. or not all crackers are white, so I'm going to have to give this one to Paul just for that very reason. The fucking one. Yeah. We can do one more.

We need to do one more for balance. No, we need to do it. Otherwise, we're Koyana Scotty. Okay. Yeah. Let's... Calliottis got to... Paul, you're the moderator.

And I've written down my word. Okay. I've written down my word. Paul is written down. Okay. We've all written down our word. word. Lauren, you reveal your word first.

Photograph. My word is torrent. My word, squalor. Squalor. And Lauren, you debate first. Wait, let me time. Okay. Jesus Christ.

Sorry, it's so exhausting. Hit one button on your phone. Three, two, go. photographs capture everything from the high end to the low end from the beauty to the squalor they see it all and they do not lie if you want to accurately represent a squalor a squalid situation you must photograph it and look at the photograph later because you will see things your eye I didn't even catch. For example, the show hoarders, photographs squalor, and captures it on film.

The amount of stuff is only seen in the photo. Can you imagine a presidential debate like this? Someone just trying to run out the clock. And yeah. So obviously photographs. is the same as squire. Scott, you have 60 seconds and go. When I think of a typical squalor or a squalid situation.

A typical squal. You think of toint? They didn't get there by themselves. Someone walks into a room full of squalor and it didn't just magically appear. What, there, there had to be a lot of things that occurred over many days, months, years in order for this situation to happen. And when I think of that, I think of a torrent of things. You wouldn't walk into a room and say, oh, this is just filled with squalor when there's one piece of trash in an otherwise barren room. No, there has to be a torrent of things in order for squalor to exist.

and that's why I believe in my heart of hearts that squalor and torrent are practically the same thing just spelled differently. I'm going to give the rest of my time to Lauren. It's time. Oh, okay. So one second.

That was amazing. You took 30 seconds to get to the word torrent. All right. Lauren, you have 30 seconds to rebutt and go. Scott is known throughout Hollywood is being a cock ass. bitch loser who

really doesn't understand what squalor is and doesn't understand what torrents are. So I just want to say photograph is the word that represents squalor because squalor is exemplified in photographs.

And with that, I lay thee down to rest. Time. Scott, 30 seconds. Go. It is true that I am known throughout Hollywood as a cuck-ass bitch loser. But even a broken clock is right twice a day unless it is on military time. In which case, it is right once a day.

And I am right once on this day that Torrent and squalor are closer than photograph and squalor. I cede the rest of my time to Lauren. Well, I didn't get to say anything I wanted. First of all, I want to thank you both for this lively debate. I think we are all enriched by seeing two people with such passion argue for their own sides. Thank you. Thank you, Paul. Thank you for moderating, by the way.

Well, it's wonderful to be here. Thanks so much, Paul. Sorry, I didn't thank you. While I do believe that Lauren made a compelling case. for squalor being very close to photographs. Because although she didn't even say it, it led me, some of the things she said led me to believe that if you're hoarding,

one of the things you might even hoard is photographs. That's true. You could have piles of old photos. I did say that. Photos are on newspapers, which a lot of people hoard. I said that's very true. And you know what, Scott? You're really helping, Lauren.

That's nice. I said all that. but to uh but when you come right down to it no one's taking my title of bitch-ass cuck away from me so scott you won wow so scott technically won the entire debate

two out of three i won twice technically won the entire debate well paul you won technically you won once i won once and lorne you won once Is that right? I never won. Oh, so wait.

Paul, you won twice and I won twice. Wow. Is that right? I thought Paul won once and you won twice. We only played three times. Oh, no, that's right. I'm sorry. What's the fuck is wrong with you?

What's two plus one? It's crazy. It's had so far as asses, smelling his breath. I'm smelling my own breath, which smells like shit. He said so far his ass, his ass, to smell his breath. All right, well, that's going to do it for us for this episode. It really is. We hope you all have a wonderful holiday.

Bearing in mind, this is December 11th. Paul, do you have a show coming up? I sure do, Scott. And that show is called Varietopia. And it's happening December 21st. That's Sunday. It's at Loddrum and Highland Park, but it's also going to be live streamed to the world.

It's going to be a very fun holiday show. And I want to remind... Vriotopia.com. Yes. Riotopia.com. I want to remind everyone, we have Christmas merch or holiday merch in the store. we have go to hell cards are back we also have two t-shirts the i work here t-shirt and the

corporate lady how to talk t-shirt um that was designed by nathan defy diffi and uh hey may i say scott yeah on the topic of nathan diffi yeah when i corrected you on the pronunciation of his name sure a couple episodes ago yeah a day that will live in for me you accused me of acting like you were insane to pronounce it a different way. And all I did was say Diffy. You have an accusatory tone in your voice all the time. And I guess I should take that out of what you actually mean. I think you should because your persecution complex is off the charts, honey.

Well, you're edible complex. Hey, hey, we promised me we would talk about that. Anyway, go to, I guess, kinshipgoods.com slash freedom or something like that, and you can get those. Yeah. Oh, and also the pizza robot. Oh, yeah, the pizza robot. Could this pizza be anymore on this robot?

Yes. Yes. Lauren, anything you want to talk about? No, I'm going to plug the holidays, and I hope everyone has fun. And that's all. Okay. Yeah, me too. All right, everyone.

We love you. Kisses. Bye. Scott, take us out with that minion Christmas ornament. Padipura carbonara. Padipola carbonara. Yay. next week. Bye. Banana.

Banana. uninterrupted listening experience. Just head to any Lemonada show feed on Apple Podcasts and hit subscribe. Make Life Suck Less, with fewer ads, with Lemonada Premium. From the darkest corners of our imagination, comes a game show that's more ridiculous than terrifying. Welcome to Tickled to Death. I'm your host, Roz Hernandez,

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