Threedom - The Unmedicated Gall

Episode Date: July 18, 2024

Scott, Lauren, and Paul discuss Lauren's topics, nosebleeds, and political emails before playing I've Got Some Bad Tunes.  Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail]. Leave us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.com. Listen ad-free and unlock bi-weekly THREEMIUMS on cbbworld.com Grab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey everybody! That includes me! And me. Thanks for listening to this week's episode. If you want more of me, Paul and Lauren, and I know you do, you should join us over on Lemonada Premium on Apple Podcasts. That's what it is. Where subscribers get exclusive access to our Thremium episodes. In each Thremium episode, we take your calls and listen to your voicemails and we answer them. You can send your emails to freedomusa at gmail.com send your voicemail to hadclaims8.com and listen to your questions be answered by your pretzel gang on Lemonada Premium. Subscribe to Lemonada Premium today by clicking on our podcast logo on the apple podcast app

and then clicking the subscribe button. Who's this guy? I don't know, but I like him. Sir? Sir, could you please? I think he's a little crab. Hey, Paul.

Sorry about that. Who was that guy? Someone took your place for a minute. Yeah. That little crab. And we liked him better. Why did that crab do that? Hi, it's me, Ricky Lake.

You probably know me from my hit 90s talk show, but if I'm being totally honest, I was juggling so much and didn't have time to stop and think about what truly went into living a full and vibrant life. Well, fast forward to today, I'm 55 and a half years old and I am happier than ever. And I'm so excited to help you find your joy on my new show, The High Life with Ricky Lake. Together we'll learn new ways to live better.

Listen to The High Life with Ricky Lake from Lemonada'll learn new ways to live better. Listen to the High Life with Ricky Lake from Lemonade Media, out now, wherever you get your podcasts. Freedom! Freedom! Get nasty with it. Freedom! Make it clap, bitch. Get nasty with it. Freedom! Make it clap, bitch.

Freedom! We're back. We're back. Can you believe it? Can you believe it? Actually, almost can't. Do you know what? I was parking my car. No.

Lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, yeah. Get you! What was the point of that song? Lies? Yeah, I think. Well, I'm not sure. A song about lies. Was it pro lies or anti lies? Yeah.

Was the song itself a lie? Lies, lies, lies. Yeah. This song is full of lies, lies, lies. Yeah. We don't like lies. So I'm driving. I'm driving up your street.

This guy is. Are these lyrics? Yeah, it sounded like a like you're going to. I'm driving, I'm driving up your street. This guy is- Are these lyrics? Yeah, it sounded like you're gonna rap. I'm driving, I'm driving up your street. I'm driving up your street. I was just listening to Jacob Dillon and I was like- Is that to-

You know, Jacob Dillon came out with music when I was in like middle school and I didn't know that he was Bob Dylan's son for many years. And you didn't know that Bob Dylan used to be hot. I definitely didn't know that. And then like just today I was listening to the wall flowers on the way here and I was going,

I can hear the influence. What were we listening to, One Head Light? One, two, three Marlinas. Sim the new hearty. I think I sang it completely opposite. Anyway. I can hear the influence. One hit late. Anyway. I can hear the influence. So you were, but it was kind of the rhythm and the.

I didn't mean to imply a song and I apologize. No, you implied 20 that you didn't mean. We have not let you talk. Talk about driving up. You went to song, song, song, song, song. So I'm driving up your street. And this man is standing next to a truck. There's another man on the truck.

They're unloading. It's a riddle. Big, one of them always lies. One of them always tells the truth. They're unloading planks from this truck. And the guy. Of course they are. No, they pulled up, right?

Actually I had a big. I mean they're not gonna leave the planks on the truck. They had a big situation with them. Oh, I'm sure you did. I did. But the one guy is smiling at me as a big situation with them. Oh, I'm sure you did. I did. But the one guy is smiling at me as I drive up the street. Oh, he loves you. Hmm.

I'm like, what the fuck? Why does this guy love me? So I go up, I have to go around the corner to find a space. Is it your I love planks bumper sticker maybe? Oh, in your car is that big plank. I drive a car called the plank and we'll be able to ship like a big plank. I have a bumper sticker on it that says I love planks.

It's like a busy town situation. There's a bumper sticker that says smile. I love me. I love it. It's. We do a busy town died crazy. Is he town is the animals of Richard's scary singing come on. What a busy town happens like what happens to them happens to.

What a busy busy film starts in town because of busy town. happens like what happens to them happens to Starts a town because it busy town She could do it So I go I park around the corner and then when I'm walking down the street This same man is now talking to another guy in a truck who is blocked third. Okay, third guy. Can you believe? Wow, so they're gonna fuck still playing by the way, guys it's on and Yeah, they told me they like my vibe they saw me from across the street And so as I get closer this guy standing right in front of your house. Oh, no in front of your door

Oh, he's protecting you and he said He got your set and he feels very loyal to you and He says to me you guys are starting your podcast up again, huh? No fucking chance. You're lying. No. And I said, yeah, I don't think he's a fan. I think he must be a neighbor.

He's my neighbor. Yes. He's a fan. He's a fan and my neighbor. You can be both. He said you're starting up your podcast again. Yeah, I said, yeah. Is that okay, sir?

He's probably listening. Hello. Hey. I wish I'd said, are you a piss pig? Are you a piss pig? I got a great message. I should give a shout out right now. I got a great message on my Instagram.

Of all places. I know, and I don't allow people to message me who I don't follow. I don't allow people to message me. Because it's allowed for a lot of the things to get in there that I don't wanna see. But I commented on a page of this person I follow. The page is called, I did, I love to comment.

As yourself. I like to leave supportive comments everywhere I go. I kinda drop them. Everywhere you go. I drop them little rainbows. You have this nice girl image that you drop my little rainbow. I just, I love to just keep it up. Is that not true? And her page is called raising little talkers. It's about, no, it's a good thing. It's about helping your kids. Ben Stiller, talk, little talkers. Oh, talkers. Is that what it's called? Meet the Talkers?

Meet the Talkers? Raising Little Talkers. I mean, they talk through the whole movie, that's what I assumed. And anyway, I follow her page and I had bought her program at one point because there's a lot of tips on getting your kid to use more words and blah, blah, blah.

And- Which words? Which words? I wanted her to say like- The C words. Piss, pig, yeah. She messaged me in response to my comment and then said, my husband says I need to tell you

that he's a piss pig. And sometimes he makes me listen to the podcast. He makes me. Well, maybe she didn't say makes. I love when the partner of somebody says, my partner says to tell you they're a piss pig? Yeah. It's so funny.

I was so excited. So hi. We met a lot of the PPs out there on the road. Yes, we did indeed. Varying levels of confidence in saying that they were a piss pig. They voted for it. They should be confident.

I know, I know. But they didn't all vote. They didn't all vote. And if you didn't vote, then you do have to say it louder than the people who did vote. Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of how it works.

Lauren, we're burying the lead. Lauren's topics. Lauren's topics. I had a baby. Oh, she's having a baby. Another one. Yeah, hell yeah. Now this baby, I was worried it was gonna be ugly, is it?

No, it's so cute. And her name is Gigi. Gigi. G it? No it's so cute and her name is Gigi and she's so cute and she's you know two months old and she's walking talking singing dancing right on mod she's like a Michigan jay frog she's exactly a double double she's so great it's so great, it's so awesome. I'm so happy. How was the delivery experience for you? How would you rate it? It was really wild. I would rate it a 10 out of 10 because it ended with Gigi. So during the process, I did think-

Like if you went to a restaurant and they gave you an incredible dessert and the mood was, or the food rather, and the mood. The mood was food. The mood was food and the food was aw. But the food was just terrible the entire time. But then at the end they were like, here, here's some ice cream.

You would say 10,000 dollars. Here's some ice cream. Yeah. Hey, we know our food sucks. Yeah. Here's some ice cream. I would say that. This is from the store.

You know, I had an unmedicated birth again by choice. And. The unmedicated gall. And everyone can do everything they want. And I think everything is great. That is why choice was... No one needs to judge you for any part of what... Just like the Ten Commandments.

Yeah. Everybody can do whatever they want. I think everything is great. Everything's great. And they're all great. And it's great. I will say one thing that was interesting about it was that I was in prodromal labor for a few days, which is basically when you are having contractions.

Yeah. You're having contractions, but you're not actually going into labor. It's like, it seemed like I kept emailing you saying it was happening. Yes. You, you, you were texting the, uh, one of the group threads saying like, oh yeah, I'm in labor now. And then weeks went by. I know what I was. And you, I mean, you've looked like an idiot. Yeah, I looked so dumb. We were laughing at you.

There was a side thread, it was like, she thought she was in labor. It was crazy. Mike was on that one too. Yeah. Yeah. He turned in the most. That's really rude. I saw him giggling.

He was like, the eye roll emoji, I've never seen it so many times in one thread. But yeah, it's really torturous because you like think it's happening and it's not happening, plus contractions are not. Like my career. Unpainful. Contractions are not. Like my career. Contractions are not un-painful, so you're also like, I'm in pain.

And then it's like, why is this happening? And then it stops. Anyway, so then I went past my due date, which happened with Holly as well. How many days past your due date? Eight. Eight days a week. This was the same.

And on that day. They were both eight days? Yeah. Wow. And so I sort of think my body just does that. Wow. Yeah. We should try to see if you can have a third baby

and see if it happens. Yeah, why you saying we should try? I feel like this is a group project. We want to present you with a beaker. Here's a PowerPoint about why we need to be the fathers of your new baby. How much is your body and how much is the baby? You know what I mean?

Like in terms of when the baby comes out. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I think it's a lot of the baby. When are you two separate people? Oh, not yet. Oh, well, I don't know. They say that they leave. You have the mother's DNA and you have the baby's DNA and you for

I don't know. It's like a whole there's some science It's all connected. Yeah, Brunnel fly But I for a baby by the way It's so crazy you're saying that If you if we get so far to the future that no one remembers that movie, yeah, it would be a beautiful name Rundle flea and yeah, but I'm the flea If we get so far to the future that no one remembers that movie, it would be a beautiful name. It would be. Oh, it's a name?

Brundlefly? Brundlefly. What is that? What is that name from? The Fly! That's my guess, but I was like, why is it Brundlefly? Because isn't his name Dr. Brundle or something? And when he gets combined with the fly?

Dr. Fly Brundle. That's like a DC Comics villain name. Enigma. Edward Enigma. Yeah. Is that like Italian? That's like a DC Comics villain name. Enigma. Edward Enigma. Yeah. Does that mean like Italian? So, did you ever go home or are you still in the hospital?

So I didn't go to, I never went to the hospital. I never went until I was, until I was fully having contractions. So I'm saying all those days I didn't go in and get checked or anything. I just was like, I think it's happening. No, it's not. But you, you went home after that or are you still there? I never, I'm still all those days, I didn't go in and get checked or anything. I just was like, I think it's happening. No, it's not. But you went home after that or are you still there? I never, I'm still at the hospital now. Where's the hospital now?

Yes, and I live here and I like the food. And I live here and I like the food. Yeah, the food is really good when you're starving. Is it really? Any food is good. It's amazing. Turkey sandwich with just bread, loved it. I ate tall old guys.

Like just a dry turkey sandwich? Yeah, I ate so many of those Also, I couldn't have deli meat my whole pregnancy if you follow that rule so I Jersey Mike's was like, where you been Jimmy John's? Actually went when I'm I do date and talk to people there I met some people at Jimmy John's they were very nice And what I I went there and talked you went where Jimmy John's you people at Jimmy John's, they were very nice. And I went there and talked to the- You went where? Jimmy John's.

You went to Jimmy John's. When I was very, very pregnant, I went to Jimmy John's and had a nice conversation with the employees. Like to corporate or to headquarters? I went to CEO and I said, give more options. James John. James Jonathan. So I went into labor on eight days after

and I was, and there's guys out there going, can you stop talking about your baby? Right now there's somebody going like, can you turn this off? Outside the Jersey Mike's? No, I'm sitting on my pocket. Jimmy John's! God damn it, why are we still doing it?

I'll just tell my story real quickly. Okay, which story? I don't know, listen to them. It's not an idea to have a conversation. We're gonna have a child. We're gonna have a child. Should we have a child together? What if we did? I mean, it's not the worst to have a conversation. We're going to have a child together. Should we have a child together? What if we did?

I mean, it's not the worst idea in the world. It's not the best. But it's not the worst. You can just mix it and see which one, and you won't know which one. If you stir it really fast? I can. You gotta like cocktail it. The hippie hippie shake!

That's how Rod Stewart got into that situation. What? They served him a cocktail and it was seven gallons of semen. Seven gallons of semen. Lies, lies, lies. So I went into labor and I went to the hospital. And we had a tearful goodbye with Holly. It was very emotional.

Oh, Holly not allowed. Well, yeah, I don't want her to see this. And my parents came to town and they were helping, yeah, take care of her. So that was very great. And so that was hard. And we got to the hospital. And then they gave me a whiff of Pitocin.

They kept calling it a whiff. It was just a small amount. Pitocin is a drug that I don't want to describe improperly, but basically it can help. Bridgerton this shit. It can help speed up contraction, make them more real. Cause like my contractions were happening.

They also can be, they're used in inductions and stuff. This was basically like my contractions were happening. I was in labor, I was dilated. All the things are happening, but it's a little slow. So the only thing I knew- So did you literally smell it or? No, it's in your veins. And the only thing I knew about-

They knew a whiff when they shoot it in your veins? Well, they were just like, well, just do a good, keep saying a whiff. Say a drop. Yeah. A dram. A dram, a wee dram. But the one thing I knew going into it

was that pitocin makes contractions more painful. Ouchie. But I went with. Why is that a thing? Yeah, I kind of just went, well, and everyone tends to get the epidural at that point because it's more painful. I had gotten with this plan and I told the doctor,

then this wasn't my doctor and she was like, you're gonna want the epidural. And I was like, I'm not gonna do it. And then she was like, hmm. And I was like, well, maybe if I want it. And then she was like happy, good that I said that. Right. Like they just wanted me to say like, I might do that.

Yeah. Right. And I was open to it, but it was like, it just wasn't my plan. Because if you absolutely say before the birth starts, I'm not gonna do it. And then in the middle of the birth and you're like, oh, I want it. Maybe they can't.

Or maybe the anesthesiologist wouldn't be available. I don't know. I don't know what the fears are, but I said I would. They should keep up like a, just a box of epidurals in the room. It's just, just let me drink it. Yes. You know, take a sip, make it a drink. Yes. Make it a drink. Make everything a drink. Well, I'm not going to tell the full details of my story because it's personal.

Sure. But tell us all the juicy personal stuff. It did get extremely painful. Anything with juice. And it was insane. I was screaming and really in pain. And did you ever crumble and say, I never crumbled? And did you ever crumble? I was committed to my plan. Plus, at a certain point I missed the

chance. You know, so it's like there is, plus it was going much faster than Holly's labor. So I also asked for that withdrawal and Holly's labor and it was too late. Right. So that's part of why I was like, I can do that again. It's okay. But was it, you know how they say it's so painful the first time it happens to you, but then your mind just naturally forgets. Well, honestly, right after I gave birth to Holly, I was like, I want to do that again. Right. It was the weirdest, it was terrible.

In the middle of the second one, were you like, oh right, this sucks. I was like, vasectomy, no. And I was like, let me do it. It was truly crazy. I was in so much pain. It's what I'm trying to, I feel like pain is a hard thing to remember.

Well, here's how I would describe it to you. And maybe this will help you because this is what it felt like as it was happening. I guess because it would suck if you could remember exactly how much some. You can't feel that something hurt, but you can't like bring back that sense. No, exactly. Yeah. Like, so there was a point where I was wishing I would be hit over the head with a frying pan. I literally was like, I wish someone would just come in here and clock me. Like a cartoon lady?

Over my head so I could just not feel. Now remember the doctor offered you that. I know. And you said no and she went, hmm. She said, you might want the frying pan. And then the other thing is that. Because you were afraid it was gonna make your face shaped like a frying pan.

Yeah. And that you wouldn't be able to shake it out. Yeah. Back to normal. Yeah. Yeah. And it has happened before, as you can see. Um. The, I also say this to anyone who's pregnant,

like if you have this, if you're gonna use Potosan, don't be afraid because at the same time, I'm like, I don't regret anything about my story. So that's also the confusing part of it. But- You're not out here saying like, this made everything hurt. No, I mean, first of all, it hurts that much anyway,

but it's like, so how much is it compared to what I felt before? I actually can't remember what it actually was before. I would say it was worse, but it's also more present in my mind. So I don't know. Right. It felt worse in my the storytelling. It's like, I don't think I left that story saying the same things I was saying after the story, which was that I felt like somebody was trying to kill me and then they would leave for 30 seconds and I think they're gone and then they come back and start kicking

the shit out of me again. It really was like you go like, Oh my God, it's over. It's like, it was crazy. And I was definitely like, I'm like so curious what the experience was for people on the floor because I'm like, it must have sounded like something crazy was happening. So are you a screamer compared to like other women who give birth, do you know? I'm a spinner. Do you know? No, I honestly don't know. Did anyone say to you like, you were actually really loud?

Nobody judged me on any level. We got complaints from our neighbors. Yeah, I didn't hear. And we're a hospital. I didn't hear anything, I didn't hear anybody else ever and I don't know, maybe it's very soundproof. I don't know, but probably not. Yeah, I doubt that those rooms are soundproof.

But it's probably pretty- That seems like a smart idea. Well, you don't want to hear people coughing and- You definitely don't want to hear people screaming in pain in a hospital. Yeah, yeah. I've been in some hospitals and you can hear people screaming in pain.

What is this, 1917? But probably a pretty thick wall. Treat yourself. Anyway, at a certain point, it was very painful. At a certain point, they broke my water and that was when it was really crazy because it felt like gallons of water were coming out of me. Sploosh. I honestly was scared. And then the baby dropped just straight down and she was 10,

just like raging waters. Over 10 pounds. Nice. Whoa. And so that was when, over 10 pounds. Over 10 pounds. Nice. Whoa. And so that was when it got really crazy. And then from that point on, I was basically like, I'm pushing and then it's happening.

It was like, it was all, I went from five centimeters to 10 centimeters in 20 minutes, which is not, that took me many, many hours. Why do we use metric for that? Come on. Okay, I went from an apple to a bagel. They let you eat in there?

They say that like the more children you have, the more they just kind of like fall out. I would say it was much faster. Yeah. Like with my friend's third child, it was just like, just, oh, maybe we should go to the hospital. They pulled up to the hospital after a 10 minute car ride and it was like, boom. It was much faster.

I pushed for three hours with Holly and 20 minutes with this baby. So it was very boom. It was much faster. I pushed for three hours with Holly and 20 minutes with this baby. So it was very, very different. Also you know how to do it more maybe. I don't know. Like I knew how to push.

It's because when that's a very confusing thing when they're telling you because you kind of want you push with like your face and they're like get out of your face and then you push with your lower part. But it's like very hard to like because you're straining. Yeah. Am I doing push with your lower part. But it's like very hard to like, cause you're straining. Yeah. Am I doing it right? Lower part. Well, I didn't want to say.

No, I understand. It's just a funny turn of right. Anyway, so that's the story. And then, then I had my eyes closed the whole time pretty much cause it was so crazy. And then when she came out, they told me to open my eyes and it was like a movie because it was like that scene in a movie where, cause they had turned some lights

on the doctor, you know, things that happened while I had my eyes closed, like the room changed. And so I opened my eyes and then they were just holding her up in this light and it was so amazing. It was really great. She's so adorable. She's precious. Look, on that group thread, we're blessed to have these two

beautiful babies showing up every day. Yeah. Could always be more. Yeah. Yeah. Could always be more. We should have our baby. There's people that will say like, I don't want to bore you with a bunch of baby pictures. I'm like, of course I want to see baby pictures. Yes. Nobody feels that way about their dog, by the way. Yeah. I don't want to bore you with a bunch of dog pictures. Yeah. And it was cool because I got to hold her, which I don't want to bore you with a bunch of dog pictures. Yeah.

And it was cool because I got to hold her, which I didn't get to do with Holly. Oh, why is that? Holly's a little standoffish. She's a cold fish. She's a bit of a cold fish. She had a brief NICU stay. So they took her right away.

But you know. Nickelodeon University. Yeah. She just graduated and she's doing great. The neon orange cap and gown. That's right. So it was really cool to get to have a different experience and I also feel that I've taken care of myself much better afterwards this time.

I rested as much as humanly possible. Last time I was kind of go, go, go. That led to more issues down the line. So this has, go. I really had a, and that led to like more issues down the line. So this was, this has been great. I feel great. It's so different. How's the like sleeping and all that kind of stuff?

It's actually decent, I would say. I mean, basically Mike and I have split up the duties. Oh, thank God you said the duties. That was really. Oh my God, that's crazy. Basically, oh, the one thing that happened because of this giving birth. Mike and I split up. I meant to tell you.

It's better now because Mike and I split up. It's so much easier. So the baby's, Gigi's spending half her time over Mike. No, he's like handling Holly at night and I'm handling Gigi at night. Yeah. That's great. Wow. And that's great. Wow. And that's been going well.

And hopefully eventually we will be able to see each other again. Well, congratulations. Thank you. This is big news. I know it happened a couple of months ago, but we have, this is our first episode back. Yes.

And you know how it goes on the first episode back. We need to take breaks. What? Yeah. That's traditional. Oh, you're right. Did you forget? No, no, I kind of did. First episode back, we need to take breaks. What? Yeah. That's traditional. Oh, you're right. Did you forget? No, no, I kind of did. First episode back, we always take a break. Okay. Yeah. So we're going to do it now. Okay, bye. Hey everyone, this show, Freedom, the one you're listening to right now, it's sponsored by

Greenlight. Let's talk about Greenlight, okay? So. As your kids grow up, some parts of parenting definitely get easier. Like they can sort of clean up after themselves maybe, but other parts, not so much. Yeah, take money management, Lauren, right? Okay. Okay, so it's one of those tricky and trippy topics

that kids won't fully grasp until they actually start handling their own money. And that is where Greenlight comes in. Greenlight is a debit card and money app designed specifically for families. With Greenlight, parents can easily send money to their kids and keep track of their spending and saving. Meanwhile, kids and teens build confidence and learn essential financial literacy skills. Like I have right here. Yeah, you're able to say the word literacy really well. Look, Greenlight, it's a way to keep your household running smoothly and to teach

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Hey, it's me and Lauren. Hey. Hey. I have a sock on the door. Oh, so what are you doing here? Excuse me. Do you need the sock? Don't be gonzy. Okay. Hey, just hide under the covers. Okay. Don't worry about it.

Hey, we wanted to ask you, does anything motivate you to cook more than having a question about my motivations? Does anything motivate you to cook more like having high quality ingredients on hand? You know what get ready to be surprised nothing does Nothing motivates me more for that and guys. I've been cooking a ton recently because of butcher box really Yeah, really, I never thought I'd be able to make pulled pork all on my own I can pull it probably because and you know my parents didn't think so either pulled pork all on my own. I could pull it probably. And you know my parents didn't think so either.

But with ButcherBox's pork, which is raised crate free by the way, I was able to make these incredible sandwiches for our famous barbecue. Wow, you make your own sauce. Well we were all shocked you made them by yourself. We didn't believe you. We started kicking your butt. All my friends were shocked. I got beat up. The one thing I've heard about ButcherBox is the big draw is the convenience. Can attest. Of it. Less trips to the grocery store, more time to enjoy cooking. And fewer. Plus I also heard ButcherBox gives you curated tips and recipes based on what's in your

box, which as far as I'm concerned is super helpful. Well wait, the value. We've got to talk about the value. It's incredible. Okay, you get these amazing cuts of meat that are hard to find at the grocery store and the prices are unbeatable. High quality, humanely raised meat with no antibiotics or added hormones delivered right to your doorstep with free shipping. Paul, what more could you ask for? Paul, how do we get this?

What if my parents were still alive? Yeah, sure. Sign up for ButcherBox today by going to butcherbox.com slash freedom and use code freedom and check out and enjoy your choice of bone in chicken thighs, top sirloin or salmon in every box for an entire year. Plus get $20 off again $20 off. Yeah. Wow. Again, how do I get butcherbox.com slash freedom and use code freedom. All right, get back in there, buddy. code three. All right, get back in there, buddy.

We're back. Yeah. You told me, we just, we got back from tour a first leg of our tour and you told me that you had something that you wanted to tell us. Yeah. Oh my God. You're right. He would not even, he wouldn't even. I was like, just tell me now. I was like a vault. No, I wouldn't tell him. And you were traveling and he had nothing to say. And he just told me that one story you have. I was staring at him.

You were like, are you mad at me? What's going on? Willing him to tell me. I was like, talk about un-threatened. Talk about un-threatened. Put him up, put him up. I do have a funny, another funny cool opportunity. Oh, and it's funny?

In the emergency room story. Oh no! Was it while you were gone? I do have a funny, another funny cool opportunity. Oh, and it's funny? In the emergency room story. Oh no! Was it while you were gone? No, no, this happened before. I had to go to the ER. This happened before, but, and I apologize, she may have told this story on her own podcast,

so perhaps you have heard it, Lauren. I've heard a bunch of episodes, but I haven't been every episode. I heard your episode. Yes. So I, uh, so, so cool. Are you making this up? Jesus Christ. She exists. Okay. So it's trying to prove she exists. I think if you don't start there, it'll be more believable. So she's, she was having nosebleeds a lot. Where like five times a day, where just suddenly. That's alarming.

For 20 minutes, just blood. Dang. I used to get a lot of nosebleeds growing up, but it's really uncomfortable. Yeah. And you're swallowing the blood. It's supposed to stay inside you. It's not supposed to be outside your body.

No, that's, blood is always supposed to be on the inside. Anytime it's on the outside, you got a problem. Sometimes I would be like, shouldn't all this stuff be on the outside? Yeah. No, you want it inside. So she was having- Bones too.

Bones, yeah. Bones too. Sinus, you've gotta have those. Bones too, the sequel. You could probably have like two sinus outside. Just flap it around like a wedding drink. No, you know the mnemonic device. sinews stay in you sinews stay in you. I of course I forgot. So you stay in you. So cool.

I was having stay at home. Yeah. And I'm blood. No chud. No cannibalistic humanoid underground dwellers. Yep. Um, so she was having these quite often and 20 minute nosebleeds five times, five times a day. Five times a day. At one point, I forget if I told you this, Emmy got sick and started throwing up. And of course I started throwing up. So-

From seeing her barf? Yeah, it was just so gross. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But so I was- It's so terrible when babies are sick. It's funny when they're little babies and they throw up and they don't even have any responsibility. Emmy is just confused when it are sick. It's funny when they're little babies and they throw up and they don't even have any response. Emi is just confused when it's happening,

like why is this happening? And you just kind of hold it. So that's how I feel. Yeah. Oh my God. Why is this happening? I got food poisoning on Mother's Day and I was like, no, it was crazy.

But I kind of didn't care. I had just given birth so recently. I feel like I'm sort of like, I'm just barfing now. That's the other end. So in any case, I was really, really sick for a day where I just slept for 24 hours straight. And then Cool Up is supposed to go out of town to Miami on Friday.

So you had that fun girls trip, right? Fun girls trip, yeah. To Miami? Miami, yes. In Benito, yeah. In Miami? Miami, yes. In Benidou, Miami. And she gave me the least amount of concern. She was like, how are you feeling today?

I was like, better. She went, okay. And then dropped it because she wanted to go on this trip. Never wanted to engage further in case I were to be like, I don't feel all that well. You shouldn't go on this trip. Is this how she told her on her podcast? She admits it. Oh my God, she admitted. Oh my God. So she, so I, I then was taking care of Kula or taking care of Emmy for the

weekend while she was in Miami. Um, and um, she was having the nosebleeds there, right? So finally we get back and we decide, we call our general doctor and he says like, you know, maybe you want to get it cauterized or something. So we- Jesus. Oh my God. So we go into, first we go into an-

A fireplace store. An urgent care, fire, yeah. We go into a fireplace store. Yeah, could you put a hot poker up my nose? I know you mainly sell fireplace. Do you heat them up, the implements? So we go into an urgent care, they say, oh no, we don't have the tools.

So we're gonna have to try the fireplace store. They should get the tools. They should get the tools. They should have a lot of tools. They were like, you need to go to either an ENT, but those- Then you have to get an appointment. You have to get an appointment, which are taking months these days.

That's crazy. So I don't, that shouldn't be possible with doctors. You do it months. I'm sick now. So we couldn't get the ENT employment. He goes, or go to the emergency room. So we went back to our old haunts. The same one, the same one. And, um. That was scary. So the doctor comes in and is looking at it

and he's asking the questions about it. And she, and Cool Up, in my opinion, is giving more information than is necessary. Like, you know, because doctors tend to be very brusque and want to get out of there as soon as possible. So she's going into a lot of detail about every time she's ever had a nosebleed, which is like-

Like throughout life? Like she's like, then I was walking down the street and it happened, one time I was in bed. Well, so then she mentions, oh, and I was in Miami and I was in a pool and it started happening again and I got out of the pool and my nose was dripping blood.

Oh, that's terrible. I had to say to everyone there who was working at the, at the hotel, Hey, this isn't cocaine. This is just my, my, I'm having a lot of nosebleeds and the doctor goes like, Oh no, yeah. Cocaine would be actually good for it. And we're like, what? He goes, Oh yeah. Cocaine would make it stop. Or like permanently. We're like, what? He goes, what? Oh yeah, cocaine would make it stop. What? Or like. Permanently?

We're like, oh, okay. Permanently. Okay, cool. Well, anyway, so he goes, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, no. I mean like cocaine. What? That like constricts the blood vessels in your nose. So it would stop. Okay dude.

Okay, we get it. We're like, all right, okay, great. So in any case, do you want to cauterize this? He goes, well, I wouldn't suggest it because that's invasive. It hurts really bad. And I have all this cocaine. Well then he goes- And you won't be able to smell it.

He goes, honestly, if you want cocaine- No, he didn't. We have, it's like pure and uncut. If you want cocaine, we'll prescribe you cocaine. Wait, what? You're lying. I'm not lying. What? That's not a thing. And we're like, are you suggesting we get the cocaine? And he's like, if you want the cocaine, I mean, it's like 100% pure. We'll give it to you right now. It has been stomped on. In the middle of a sting operation or something like that. It was just like,

Just say you want it. Say you want the what? The what? The cocaine. Are you saying we should have it? If you want it, I'll give it to you. Yeah. So we, I mean,

It's so weird. We have to take care of Emmy that night. You know, like I'm actually leaving, I think I was leaving town that night. Yeah, she's gonna be all coked up. And so we're like, no, we can't have the cocaine. He goes, yeah, it's probably better for the paperwork. What?

What? What? Was he for real? He was for real. Do you want angel dust? I mean, you have to fill out a lot of forms. That is so bizarre. I've never heard of something like that.

So life hack, if you want cocaine and it's pure and it's great, go down to the ER and say you have a nosebleed. But they have to look inside your nose, right? So they keep cocaine on file ready to go. On file? On standby?

It falls out of this file folder. They have really good cocaine there apparently. That's uncut. It's pure. That's bizarre. I'm bragging about it. This is fucking Walter White. I wish she just did it so that it would be like uncut, it's pure. Yeah. That's bizarre. I'm bragging about it. It's a fucking Walter White.

I wish she just did it so that it would be like, well, the doctor said. We were sort of like, if there was ever a time to do cocaine, this is the time when it's from a doctor. It's gonna be the best. It's gonna be the best. And. Pure uncut.

For the story, but it just was not meant to be. Yeah. Yeah. So, so then eventually Cool Up went and got a cauterized and it was not painful. Do you think he would have suggested cocaine had she not said that? I don't know, I'm wondering. Oh, cause maybe he thinks she was saying,

I do coke, but this isn't that, I wasn't doing coke. For once, this isn't because of cocaine. As he explained it, he said, as a doctor, you always want to go least invasive and then work your way up to most invasive. Oh, I'm the opposite. Oh, interesting. I'm gonna say, get in there, invade. So he was like, he was like, what I would tell you

is least invasive is just don't do anything and wait it out. That is least invasive. Because you're not bleeding. I mean, that's true for everything. Because you're not bleeding right now, so it's not an emergency. Not paying my taxes? That's least invasive. Because you're not bleeding right now. So it's not an emergency. Not paying my taxes. That's least invasive.

So he goes, I would rather you do this. The next step is go to get this like thing that you can get at a drug store, a nasal spray, then cocaine, then cauterizing. Wow. That's really insane. The hierarchy of cocaine. Yeah.

And he was going to give it to you. and he was going to just give it to us. And it probably would have been covered by insurance. He was excited. I think he got excited. I think he did get excited by it. Yeah. Like he so rarely gets the opportunity to be like, now he graduated medical school in 1902. Is that correct? I was going to say, what was his age? And his name was Dr. Feelgood, I believe. Dr. Felgad. But yeah. So, so so she got to cauterize everything's fine now. But how old was he?

He seemed young. He seemed like 30. Oh, young doctor. Is he single? He might be. Okay, I'm interested. For my daughters. And you know he likes to party. Yep.

Yeah, a doctor who does coke? That is fun. Okay, so what if this doctor who's 30 now, he ends up marrying... That's fun. Okay, so what if this doctor who's 30 now, he ends up marrying- That's disgusting. That's disgusting. What's disgusting? Where he's going.

Where do you think he's going? I can't even imagine. I just know it's disgusting. You said it was disgusting. Let's say Gigi, when she's 30, she has a relationship with this doctor, the same doctor. At that point, 60 to 30 is like...

That's, you know what? Anyone can do whatever they want. 60 to 30 is very different than 60 to 20. Agreed. 30 are an adult. What about 40 to 20? 40 to 20 I have concerns with. What about people who are born on the exact same day?

Is that okay? Of the exact same year? I think that's great. That's the only relationship that I think is- That would be so wild to share a birthday with your husband, your spouse. Yeah. That's cute.

I know somebody who has that. Who? My friend, wait. My friend's raggedy and I'm an idiot. My friend Sean, who he and his wife have the same birthday. And when they met, they found out the same birthday. They f**ked around and found out. Yeah. Same exact age, same year.

I don't know if it's the same. It's got to be the same year, Lauren, or it doesn't count. Same birthday means they get to celebrate it together. That's cute. That is cute. Yeah. I think it is cute. It is. Too much birthday stuff. And then your personalities are exactly the same. What if because astrology is real? Yeah, astrology is cute. It is. Too much birthday stuff. And then your personalities are exactly the same. What if, because astrology is real. Yeah, because astrology is real.

So a friend of mine, I'm on another text thread I'm on. Sorry guys. This is the thrilling adventure. I am offended. Text thread. Wow. How many text threads are you freaking on? I'm on a bunch, baby.

Yeah, I mean so much. I'm on a bunch. I love, LTT live to text. Yeah. So my friend Annie Savage, she's a great writer. She's a great writer. She's a great writer. She's a great writer.

She's a great writer. She's a great writer. She's a great writer. She's a great writer. She's a great writer. Yeah, I mean, so I'm on a bunch. I love LTT live to text. Yeah. Yeah. So my friend, Annie Savage sent this. Oh, it was one of the people on the thread was their birthday. She said, oh, you're the year of this. And it's something called primal astrology.

Like Amazon, not like the Chinese zodiac. No, not like the Chinese zodiac. So this is like astrology, but it's like, it's another fucking branch. It's stripped down and it's just like pure. Oh, pure uncut zodiac. Primal astrology. And so you look up just like anything else, you look up the year. I think it is like like the Chinese zodiac. You look up the year and your birthday and you find out what thing you are.

So when I went to put my birth year in, they give you, there's a menu, choose your birth year. It starts at 1900. Now, I'm sorry. Now, could you imagine being 124 years old and you're suddenly interested in this bullshit? No, but the real problem is you just scroll all the way back. No, it's the first thing.

It's the first thing. Oh, no. You got to do it reverse chronological order when you're doing a drop down menu. Yeah. Come on, guys, which is, you know what? I suffer for it. You know, I got to go all the way down to 70.

But you can't start at 1900 and then have to work your way up. Well, it's laid out like a little grid. And so it's not a scroll. OK, wait. laid out like a little grid. So it's not, you don't have to scroll. Okay, wait, wait. I'm savers in my problem with this. Now give me 1985. You want me to do it now, dear? Well, what's yours?

Penguin. Penguin? Yeah. I have to know mine. I don't know what this is. I don't know what it means. I'll look it up, I'll look it up, I'll look it up. He's looking it up.

He's looking it up. He's looking it up. He's looking it up. He's looking it up. He's looking it up. He's looking it up. He's looking it up. He's looking it up. He's looking it up. Can you do it faster? I'm trying. This website is not good.

We are losing interest. Honestly, it was written in Papyrus. Like the website looks like it's someone made it in 1999. Oh yeah, it looks shitty. Oh yeah, it looks shitty. Hey, are we allowed to say that about websites? You can say it looks shitty. Can we be sued for that?

I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. it in 1999. Oh yeah, it looks shitty. Oh yeah, it looks shitty. Hey, are we allowed to say that about websites? You can say that. Can we be sued for that? I don't think so. Defamation? Yeah. Your honor, your honor, this website obviously looks shitty. Alright, what's your birth year dear? 85. 85, 85. That's when you came alive. And you're also a Virgo like me. Yeah. So I know how to do that one.

Oh, so you put your birth month and your birth year. Yes. And then you find out your what? August 23rd to September 7th. What is it? Oh my God. You're a sea star. What the fuck?

Like a starfish? How many? Yeah. How many of these are there? Yeah. Let me see it. It's a horrible picture. It's a bad picture of the sea star for sure.

I like it. That's not really an animal, but it's fine. Proud, sensitive, and hardworking, those born under the primal zodiac sign of the sea star are at the same time both very reflective of the past and focused on the future. True. They're strong-willed, perceptive, and extremely intelligent individuals True. who often spend a lot of time alone with their thoughts.

True. Everyone does all of these things. Sea stars expect more out of themselves than most signs, perhaps even too much. Yeah, probably. And then it goes on for like another 60 to 80 paragraphs. I should expect less. Wow. I love that.

And Scott, what year were you born? I want to not read about all of that. I was 1901. Come on, Paul. Um, 1970. 1970. Strawberry wine. Batman, Superman, fuck it around. Here comes Catwoman, she's gonna clown. She's done to clown. So June 22nd to July 21st, yours fits in there. Yeah, yeah, I'm in there.

Pitbull, Mr. Worldwide. Yeah, right. Yeah, right. Your pitbull. OK, read one. What is this made of bullshit? Wait a minute. What? It says pitbull, but then when you click on it, it says shih tzu. And then when you click on that, it says little pussy face. LPF. I don't need says little pussy face yeah this website looks like shit yeah it does I mean who made this I can't

really picture the person putting this together I know this isn't real what if it oh no I clicked on the wrong one. OK, they're too close together. They're too close together. In the animal kingdom, the pit bull is often seen as a strong and potentially dangerous creature that can be very protective of those supposed to them. Why is it then that so many people choose the pit bull as a pet? That's all it says. Makes you wonder.

It said all this fucking shit about Lauren, about how great she was. Wonderful. Just talking about pit bulls in nature. Yeah. And then afterwards, there's like the shrug emoticon. God damn it. And nothing else. Why? Why? Sorry.

It hurt my feelings. No, of course there's a lot that's going on. But it is funny that they say the pit bull is very dangerous, but protective of those it's close to. It's like, why would people choose to sell the pit? Because of the second part. Yeah, dangerous, but protective of those it's close to. It's like, why would people choose to sell the pet? Because of the second part. Yeah, because it's protective of those it's close to. What else do you freaking understand?

Plus I know people with pit bulls and they're very nice. That should be stated. Why is it then? Here's another hack. If a pit bull is ever attacking you, just get close to it. As it is- You already are though. Get emotionally close.

Emotionally close. Oh, you mean emotionally? Yeah. I thought you meant physically. You have to be like, what's your favorite movie? It's attacking you. Oh, The Godfather? Me too! As you meant physically. You have to be like, what's your favorite movie? It's attacking you. Oh, The Godfather? Me too!

As it is with the animal, those born under the sign of the pit bull can be mercurial, defensive, and hard to read from a distance. No, they're not. Wow. Hard to read from a distance. But those close to them know that few people are as loyal, kind-hearted, and family-oriented as the pit bull.

See? This can be a challenging sign to get to nowhere. Oh! As they run. Ah! Ah! My heart! as the pitbull. This can be a challenging sign to get to know well as they rarely let those they don't know well get too close. They aren't outwardly aggressive but more defensive by nature. A pitbull will fight to the death to defend its friends and family with relentless vigor. They believe strongly in justice and fairness and do not hesitate to step in when a situation is out of balance. Is that true? So don't fuck with me. Either of you. I'm going to test this out later. Okay. I'm going to do something fucked up

and see if you step in. That'd be great. You won't know what it is until it happens. We have to take a break. It'll be real. What would you do with John Keenu? When we come back, we'll have a three-chair. Look at this guy. We'll have a three-chair when we come back, we'll have a three chair. This guy will have a three jury come back. Okay. Hey, hey, hey, huddle up guys. Come on, let's be real. Who has the time or money to eat at restaurants all the time? Me, that's right. You're an eccentric millionaire. I forgot. If you've got a refined taste for food, you know how expensive exploring your local food scene can get.

Plus, it's hard to find the time and energy to try somewhere new. Well, you know what? I actually heard about something that takes care of all this. What is it? OK, Cook Unity? Oh, yeah. It's the first chef to use service that delivers locally sourced meals from award-winning chefs right to your door every week

Oh, and guess what what I let me take a guess. Okay, it's cheaper than other delivery options out there. Yeah I tell you something real about this Yeah, if you're not running to check this site out already you need to go to cook unity dot com slash freedom or enter code freedom before checkout for 50% off your first week. So we, we started advertising with cook unity and we liked it so much that now we pay for it. They sent us, they sent us free meals. That's wild. They sent us free meals and now we just pay for it. He's not looking at the paper. Wow. You know what's good about it? Well let me tell you about my experience, okay?

I was gonna talk about what I was. No, I was blown away. Does no one wanna hear about my experience? I was blown away. Why don't you talk about what you experienced? Well, what I like about it is like the portion, anytime you order food from a restaurant, you get gigantic portions

and then you just eat the gigantic portions. This is like good portions that make you full at the end, but it's not crazy, so you're not like gaining weight all the time. You're sated, but you're not gorging yourself. Exactly. It's really good stuff. I like it a lot.

I personally was blown away by the taste and quality of the spicy shrimp pasta. Yeah. Yeah. That was a good one. It was perfectly seasoned and the shrimp was perfect perfection. We had some blueberry pancakes delivered. Yum.

Wow. So it's all made in advance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't cook it. It's, um, depending on your microwave. You might heat it up. You heat it up. It's, depending on your microwave, it's like two or three minutes.

I do three because I have a less powerful microwave. That's a little glimpse into my life. But yeah, it's really good. Your microwave is 10 watts. The health of your house feels good? Yeah. Supporting local chefs and suppliers. The healthy universe feels good? Supporting local chefs and suppliers. Knowing that my meals are made by talented chefs in local micro kitchens, not large production

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Let me make it more specific, AG1. What about it? Yeah, AG1, we all know what that is. I wanted to improve my gut health because my gut health was not good. Right. And so that's why I tried AG1. Okay, yeah, you've told me all this before.

But I haven't told you this. Oh, okay. Since drinking AG1 daily. I felt a big difference Oh, I wondered how it was working. Yeah, it's made a big difference. Oh, yeah, I feel more relaxed and even and And even keel perhaps my keel feels much more even throughout the day. Yeah, I'm even keeled That's so good for you. I also feel like I have more energy you. I also feel like I have more energy. Watch this. Thanks AG1. Wow, you know why though, Paul? No, I have not questioned it. I did my own research and it's because AG1 is a foundational nutrition supplement that supports your body's universal needs like gut optimization, stress

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and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase at drink AG one.com slash three. That is drink AG one.com slash three. Check it out. And we're back. And guess what everybody, I have no idea. I you have no guesses. This is blowing my mind.

Lauren, do you have guesses? I have no idea. I you have no guesses. This is blowing my mind. Lauren, do you have guesses? I have a couple. So I was kind of thinking that we were going to like go outside and play tag and like hide and seek and like just run around and stuff. Like tag meaning like the tag from Friends? We're gonna ask his boyfriend for those seasons. We were all gonna be tag and play hide and seek. Wait she had a boyfriend named tag? Yeah, and they worked at Ralph Lauren. Who played tag? That guy who was the bisexual on Sex and the City.

What? There's an episode where Carrie dates a bisexual. That guy who was the bisexual on Sex and the City. And it's a really biphobic episode, if I do say so. Is it really? It kind of is. I just rewatched it. The usual jokes about bisexuality.

Because she's like, oh my God. She's so like, just completely. So you want to be a- But I'm like, but at the whole- You want to eat meat and be a vegetarian at the same time? The whole episode couldn't believe it. It's so funny that that show, there's so much that doesn't hold up about it when they're like, we're in New York City,

fifth character, the cultural hub of the world. And so many things like, ew! I know. I just rewatched, I rewatched- He did what? And I almost went backwards. I started at- You went backwards?

I started season six because I was like, I just wanna see some of these moments that I wanna see. And then I was like, well, let me keep going. I'll go back a little bit. And then I watched it all backwards. Wow. So like you would watch, I watched like season six, season five. And then it was actually really fun because I know it's so well that it was like, by the time I got to like Aidan's relationship starting, I'm like,

it's so much more painful because I know where it's going. What if you would watch this? Aiden is John Corbett. Ew! He's so fine. Really? Yes. Did he take his shirt off and shit? He does, but it's not until the later seasons that he-

They make you wait for it. That he really works out and gives it to you. Maybe he got cast and then he was like, fuck, I hear they're gonna write a scene where I need to take my shirt off. Next season, you're going to have to take your shirt off. In In Just Like That, he did an interview where he said they did tell him to get kind of ripped for In Just Like That. And it worked. It paid off.

It paid off for me, the viewer. But it is funny that it's like, OK, we're going to where are these characters now at this age? Well, obviously, we're going to, where are these characters now at this age? Well, obviously they're still working out like fucking crazy. Obviously he's jacked more than he was when he was 30. He's more fit than he was when he was 30. Wow, same. I mean, isn't that sad?

When were you in the best shape of your life? Oh God. Like can you pinpoint a year? Maybe 2012. And before that, probably junior pinpoint a year? Maybe 2012. And before that probably junior year of high school. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Wow. Christopher Walken says, wow. Wow. Wow. Do you hear Biden says it? Wow. Folks. Wow.

I did it on stage. I did not. Had live aid. I had not had live aid. And the people played and the pork got paid. I did it, I did it in London and I did it in Philadelphia. You took the Concord over. How'd it go? I stowed away.

It went well, it was weird to do it. Cause I had not planned to do it on the podcast because I thought it would be too depressing. Oh, you did it on Coney Bing Bing? Yes. It was in the middle of another character which is very funny. Yeah, I was gonna say it's a long time you did it in on Tony Bingbing. Yes. It was in the middle of another character. Yeah, yeah. Very funny. I was going to say it's a long it's a long time to do it.

If you know, it was it was just in the middle of another character and we were talking about we were in Washington and Biden. That's really fun. Well, why don't you call him? So and I don't even think I knew that you were going to be doing the impression. I was like, you thought you were actually calling Joe Biden? Yeah. You dialed him. Yeah. Yeah. Um, then I had to hang up and Paul started talking. So, hey, Joe, shut the fuck up. My friend's talking. I got confused. Hey, hey,

folks, here's the deal. Can we stop with every, like every message you put out saying either folks or here's the deal or let me be clear. Like every politician does that now. I would love it if you put one out that said, listen up, stupid. I would like someone to go, wee-oo, wee-oo, wee-oo, hello, over here. Another one.

Siren emoji. Another one email from me. Firecracker emoji. Five sirens, look out. We got a problem, folks. And only Paul can help us. We're gonna match 27 times. This is the one. First of all I got one the other day that really made me laugh. One of those political texts. Please be honest. Would you vote for Robert F. Kennedy Jr.? And I don't know who it's from. Is it from or is it from? You don't know if it's helping him or not.

Exactly. Is it from it? They want you to be honest. We're taking an impartial poll. Should we bother? Yeah. Should we just cut our raw losses right now? Just let me know.

Here, here. I won't hear any. Rfk, text everybody you know. Just see if they'd vote for you. Here's the one I got today from Sherrod Brown. Why is he texting you? I'm reaching out personally. He's got that scratch. Because I don't have anywhere else to turd.

You're my only hope, Paul F. Tompkins. Yeah, it was a little it was a little hologram. These fucking things. I'm so sick of it, man. And you can't, no matter how many times you report it as junk, it just- It always just pops up. How many burners do they have?

Yeah. Do you think they're only texting some of us though? Or is it just to every single number that's possible? I feel like it's everybody. I don't get a lot of political texts. Really? But I get a lot of spam texts. Ooh, Preston Norey here.

And we need to talk about what went down last night. I feel like I must have given my number to some list. I've never given my number to any list. Oh, okay. Like, you know what I mean? It's not from that. We have donated somewhere, but not using phone numbers. With your number.

Yeah, so. Phone numbers. Phone numbers. Oh my God, I got a call from my college. Fine guys. It was a number, a 312 number, which is Chicago. And then I was like, okay, I'm gonna risk it and pick this up because it's Chicago. For the biscuit.

And then it's like, hi, this is so and so, I'm a grad student at DePaul. I went, what are we, I don't have time for this. Like, I mean, what are you? They're asking for money. I was actually, I did not have time. I wasn't rude, but I was saying. But why did you pick it up?

Because I thought it could be someone in my family. Oh, fair enough. And so I was like, well, maybe it's my dad's work number. I don't know what it is. Maybe dad's work number. What if it had been the other area code from Chicago where you've been like, is the bear calling me? Yeah, I'd be like, well, it's that 773 tattoo

coming to get me. Coming to get me. No, so I answered it, but I was like, how did they get my number? Because I've changed it since then. Like it's not even, what are we even? So were they asking for money? I assume that's where it was going.

I didn't let her get that far. I just said, oh, I can't talk right now. And then I hung up. I outlasted my high school asking for money, which I feel great about. Wow. You outlasted it? What does that mean? The high school closed down.

Wow. They were sending like, I would does that mean? The high school closed down. Wow! They were sending, like I would, every time I came in. Because you didn't give them money? Because you didn't give them $20. If you had just done that every year, could have kept that janitor working.

Why does a high school need to stay open? A janitor working? Or a college or whatever. It's like, let them close. Yeah, that's the opinion. You know what I mean? I don't have an answer. Why do they need to stay open?

Like if they can't balance their own budget and pull themselves out of their own bootstrap. They deserve to fail. They deserve to fail. They're just educating the youth. But yeah, they would send begs for money to my house where I grew up forever. And my mom, my mom would keep them for me when I would go home. Oh, how nice. It's like, here's the mail that you got. It was always just stacks of solicitations from my mom would keep them for me when I would go home to visit. It's like here's the mail that you got.

It was always just stacks of solicitations from my high school. Mike's mom will send him some mail that he gets. It's one of those things because you're always like, I mean some of it is important because it's like for some reason this is connected to that or I don't know. I think I got back on my high school of the arts

email list because I spoke at the school and now suddenly I'm getting every day there's a new thing. But you know. I gotcha. I want money coming in. I don't like it going out. Yeah. Yeah, man.

Right? So I just explained that to them. What a great way to put it. That's beautiful. I like money coming in. Not going out. You know, now that you asked me, I'm curious if that person was calling you about something else Yeah, like they want to give you an honorary degree or something like that. Yeah

Yeah, we've been a little bit and you guys didn't Know but what if it was something if it was the bill Cosby honorary doctorate, would you accept it? Why would it be called that because I mean if they call it that no, I would say no Hey if you're listening and I and what you're calling me about was not asking me for money And it was something that might be more interesting call back but use a different number because I blocked that one Twist We have we have a landline for emergencies. Braggart.

I used to have one, but it's always spam. And then it's ringing. It's always spam, except the other day, there's some setting on it, and I don't know how this keeps getting unsaved, but there is a setting where essentially it screens the calls, but then somehow the person calling

can also hear your room. I don't know what the fuck this is. Because I was sitting at home watching TV. Wait, wait, wait, what do you mean? Let me explain to you. No, no, no, what do you mean? I'm sitting at home, I'm watching TV, the phone rings. That sounds like you.

I know it's spam. And so it starts screening. And then I hear somebody saying. Screening meaning the answering machine goes off. I can hear it. Yeah. And I don't have to answer it. Right.

But, and this has happened a few times where we get messages saying, where people are leaving messages going, hello, hello, hello. Right, because that's part of their tactic to get you picked up. Yeah. But then this one was like, hello, hello. I can hear the TV.

Hello, what? No, but that might've just been. No, but then they kept going. And I was like, hello? Hello, I can hear the TV. Hello? What? No, but that might've just been... No, but then they kept going and I was like, this person can hear. Were they... Wait, it was you? Wait, that's so creepy.

Yeah. What if you were fucking your wife? Why is that a... What if I was fucking my wife? What if I was fucking his wife? What if I was fucking his wife? Hey, hello. Hello, I can hear you fucking. Answer.

Stop fucking. Doesn't sound like it's going good. That's disgusting. Might as well stop. What I said. But also, it's disgusting that he's fighting on you. It's really weird. And then I'm...

Do they give specifics about what you were watching and all that or just... No, no, no. But it was, it was, it was, I'm telling you, based on the previous, based on the previous messages, I do think there's something where they- Should we test it someday? I'll call. Someday, somewhere. And then you just have a TV on and I'll see.

Yeah, absolutely. Because I went to the settings of the phone, I'm like, I can't find a thing that says. I don't think it exists. But I love this idea. I want to test it. The one possibility is, is that somehow it answers.

You're actually picking up somehow. You know what I mean? It's not an answering machine, it's the phone going on. Yeah. This is what I'm trying to tell you. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're saying it's impossible and you're saying the thing that I'm trying to tell you. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait's like a voicemail. They're just exactly just leaving a voicemail. It goes like, hi, you reach such and such.

And then they beep and then they're like, yes. Then you can hear the message. They're leaving. By the way, you literally have an answering machine. No, it's built into the phone. There's like the base of the phone. It's like a it's like a phone. We're saying and then other other things.

But it's a literal. It's not it's not like voicemail. It's a literal machine. It comes out of a speaker. It comes out of a speaker. It comes out of a speaker, yeah. We are saying what is this ringing, and then it clicks answer button, and then it starts going hello, hello, hello,

and that's where they can hear you. See, I'm saying something a little different. I'm saying that there's like a malfunctioning phone that- Oh, you're saying it's broke. Yes, that it's like tripping the answer, the answer button somehow. I'm saying there. I don't think that it would have a setting to do this. I think that it would have a setting to do that. OK.

Why? We have three different opinions here. Because some people might be differently abled or. Oh, true. Like you may have to get to your phone and just want it to answer. Yes. Some people might have a job where it's just like, I do this all day. So why bother picking up the phone? Any rings. It just kind of goes right to speaker or whatever. But you hear your message?

They're an at home operator. Yeah. Okay, we gotta get to the bottom of this. We gotta get to the bottom of this. We'll get to the bottom of this. Why won't you give us your phone number? Cause then we could test this. Well, because I'm not there.

But your TV is there. My TV is on all the time. Could we talk to you? Yeah. My TV is always playing Deadwood. I figured out how to put a TV deal on loop. That's weird. Our next episode, I got to tell you about this answering

machine thing that happened to me when I was young. We'll save it. When you were young? Yeah, when I was young. We have to play a game. We have to play a three-chair. Yeah, when I was young, we have to play a three-cher. I wasn't open. We have to do a three-cher. We do have to do a three-cher. And guess what? We're digging back into the vault.

The Disney vault that is. We're doing sound of the South. We're doing yes. And in its entirety, that was brought up by somebody. Yeah, it was brought up by somebody. And it made us think we should do that. It's a good point. It was brought up by somebody. And how does was brought up by somebody. And it made us think we should do that. That's a good point. It was brought up by somebody. And how does it go? As all things are. Well, first of all,

it's a little ditty called a three-cher. If you're a new listener is a little game we play a parlor game, a game you'd play in the car, like that kind of thing. And if you would like to send us one, then you can do so at freedom USA at gmail.com. That's where you can send an email. Don't send us anything different. No, Three-Tures only.

Three-Tures only. No personal messages. No, please. We don't want to get into your life story. We're getting too many compliments and it's inflating our egos. Yeah, and now we're insufferable, now. So this Three-Ture comes to us from a while ago and it is called I've got some bad tunes

This is where someone has to deliver bad news, but and here's the wrinkle To the tune of a popular song that everyone knows can't wait Yeah, now everyone has to know this song Everyone has to know the song so don't just you're not trying to be fucking obscure with this shit You're not trying to like dude Kate Bush deep cuts. Okay, although She had a song about rollerblading Did she I don't know I'm gonna look that yeah, look at the bush rollerblading song okay, so right now I'm going to text Paul a song

and Scott's going to text Paul a problem. Bad news. Bad news that I have to deliver. And we're going to play. Yes. It's just that. Who's texting who I'm texting. Paul is texting him the bad news. Okay. Oh no guys. Shit. What happened? The USPS package has arrived to the warehouse and cannot be delivered due to incomplete address information. Oh no guys, shit. What happened? The USPS package has arrived at the warehouse and cannot be delivered due to incomplete address information. Oh no. I have to fill out my correct address within 12 hours.

What about your credit card? Please reply why, then exit the SMS, open the SMS activation link again. Or copy the link to open Safari browser. Don't be careful, don't go clicking things. Aw, and then- Make sure it's real. The US postal team wishes you a wonderful day.

Well, that's nice. I like how postal team, which is you all. Wonderful day. That's nice. I like how the link in this spam doesn't work. You actually tried clicking on it. No, it doesn't show up as a hyperlink. Oh yeah. They want you to cut and paste it, right? I'll never do it. Yeah. I'll never do it. I can't think of a song with you Tom. All right, we're texting.

Vi alegre. Okay, I sent you a song. What is that from? This is a little difficult and I'll tell you why. Because of course I know how the chorus goes. You can just do it over and over again. The chorus is very short. You can just do it over and over again.

I could. He's asking for another song dear. Fine, okay fine. For the record it was Can't Touch Us by MC Hammer. Do do do do do do do do do do. Yeah I mean rap songs are bad. You have cancer. The chorus is three words.

The chorus is three words. My, my, my, my cancer is. So bad, makes me say. Oh my God. I'm so mad. Oh my God. Oh my Josh Gad. Oh my Josh Gad. Yeah, I gave you another one.

Is it okay, sir? Come on. I'm trying to think of the verse. How the verse goes. Look it up. How do I look it up without? Lyrics. The lyrics. Lyrics would help spark your memory.

Spark your memory. They better, they better. You just rolled your eyes so hard, I thought they were gonna fall on your head. They better. You just rolled your eyes so hard. I thought they were going to fall out your head. It actually hurt. It hurt a little bit. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Did someone else need to go? Can I tell you something? When we talked about this off mic, you were the person that was going to start it. I was?

Yes. I don't remember that, but I'll do it. Turn around on me. Turn around on me. Turn around on me. Turn around on me. All I found about Kate Bush and roller skates is she's wearing them in a video.

Cool. Here, why don't you text me and I'll just do it. And you can take your time. Yeah, do you wanna use that song? Sure, but it's not as fun as being punked by you. Yeah, it's true. Now I'm going to text you a song and then Paul's going to text the-

Yeah, you text her a song. I'll text you another one next time, okay? Yes, and I'll keep the bad news that Scott texted me. Okay. I am texting Lauren a song right now. Meanwhile, Paul, interestingly enough, is texting Lauren the bad news that she has to deliver to the tune of this song.

These texts are going to be flying across the internet and finally landing on her mobile device, which is in her hands currently. And then she will be receiving this information. I haven't gotten any messages yet, just so. Whoops, I did to poll, that's why. Ha ha ha. Here you are, honey.

Thanks so much. Have you received both? No. I just sent. Have you received either? Okay, I got both. Oops, I'm recording a voice memo back to you. I'm a bad mistake.

Okay, we all don't know how to use our phones. All right, here we go. You sent me a song as well? I sent it, if you pay attention, I sent it to you accidentally. Ready? I was paying attention, I was writing. I've got some bad.

I've got some bad. I've got some bad. I actually don't know the rest of it, so. Bad news. I've got some bad news. I actually don't know the rest of it, so. A baby fell down a well, and the baby kicked it out. And a little duckling fell in, and the duckling is stuck too. They need your help.

They need your help. Go help the baby in the duckling. I guess I forgot that that song does one thing and never stops doing it. Yeah. Yeah. That was fun. Okay, so it's Scott's turn.

Yeah, Lauren, you text me the news and Paul texts me the song. Meanwhile, Paul looks up the lyrics to the song or you text him a different song. I don't exactly. Yeah, I need a different song because I can only do the bridge. Only the bridge of the song or you text him a different song. I don't. Yeah, I need a different song. Cause I can only do the bridge. Only the bridge of a song. Interesting.

Yeah, the bridge and the chorus I can do, but I can't remember how the verses go. You need a new song. Oh wait, wait, wait. I need a new song. I just sent Scott. Okay, Got Lawrence. Do you mean that's me or?

It's you, but you're singing it about. Yes. Yeah. I'm singing it about another person or? You're telling him. Oh, I see. Paul, I have not received yours. What's going on?

I sent it. Now I've received yours. Okay. This is great news. Very similar in the sense of I'm trying to remember the verse. This game isn't as easy as people make out to be. I would think that you would remember right away. I know. This is one of my favorites, but... D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d- gonna go from the chorus. Sounds good. You know, we just want to get through the game. Yep. Paul I gotta tell you something. You got a reporter stuck in your basement. He's about to broadcast live. He's about to broadcast all your shit that's down in your basement to everyone who lives in the area.

Was that Huey Lewis? That was crazy. Okay. So I have my bad news from Scott. Yes. We need. I just need a new song. Power love is a curious thing. Makes one man mad and another man sing.

What the fuck is wrong? That's the song. Love. I know, but it's like. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I know that.

Just do it to that. Okay. Here we go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I gotta find the news again. Oh, there we go.

It'll be 20 minutes till the nuclear missiles fall into America now. Everybody's gonna die a nuclear winner and we're all gonna die America now. Everybody's gonna die a nuclear winter and we're all gonna die right now. But Russia got mad sending nuclear, the missile over here is gonna get here. We're all gonna die any second now and everybody's gonna be glowing red hot.

I don't wanna die from a nuclear fallout. I wanna get into a bugger right now. I don't wanna see my face fall off my skull. I wanna go ahead and a bugger right now. I don't want to see my face fall off my skull. I want to go ahead and live out my life now. 20 minutes till the nukes have gone. 20 minutes till they come and kill us. Everybody's gonna glow real red. Everybody's gonna see an x-ray.

All right. You thought that was gonna be bad. That was great. You did the rap, you did everything. You thought that was gonna be bad. Wow. One more round? Yeah.

I think we're out of time. Okay. Sorry. We gotta go. We gotta go. But. So if you'd like to send us a three-chir, freedomusa.gmail.com.

If you'd like to leave us a voicemail for our Thremium episodes that we do every other week, go to hagclaims8.com and leave us a voicemail, a little conversational prompt, and then we will talk about it. And then you can call yourself one of the claimers. And you can hear those on either CBB World, if you have the ad-free episodes of Freedom, or at whatever the other thing is.

I think it's Apple Podcasts or Lemonada in Apple Podcasts. If you subscribe to that, I don't really know what it is. And they've never taken the opportunity to clarify. You can also hear it on some ham radios. Yes, if you're on the dirty side. Yeah, if you have a CB, give it a shot. Maybe you can hear us. One thing I wanted to mention.

I wanna talk to Candy Cane. We have merch now. It's available? Are you fucking kidding me? We have merch in the store. Oh my God. Go to CBBworld.com. I've heard of pants on the floor,

but merch in the store? You have pants on the ground? This is unbelievable. Do you mean? We have some great new t-shirts. We have one with a picture of very akin to Clara Peller. But he wouldn't say that it is. If you looked at it, you would say,

you know who that reminds me of? Yes, yes. And it says, freedom and the OPP. OPP can stand for. It's an amazing design by our friends at Kinship Goods. And they make such high quality stuff. I own a few products from other podcasts. And they're really soft.

I have a sweatshirt that's really soft. So we have those shirts. I own a few products from other podcasts and they're really soft. I have a sweatshirt that's really soft. Amazing, great. So we have those shirts. We also have some shirts with some Calvin inspired shirts. I love this. John Calvin. Yes.

The philosopher. Absolutionist. Was he an Abolitionist? Calvin of the hubs type. Absolutionist, Abolitionist? Is that what you're trying to say? Who are you saying? John Calvin. Isn't he the founder of Calvinism? Oh, yeah Calvinism

Is that a really about him? Calvinism is when you piss on stuff in ninth grade and they were talking about him like he was you like it They were talking about him like he's such a big deal Like you gotta know about this John Calvin guy is so important to history like when does he never are reformed Christianity? Oh my god, look at him, he's hilarious. Ah, that guy. This fucking dork. We'll have T-shirts of this guy soon.

They should have him peeing on something. That'd be funny. We also. Niche joke. This should be him and whoever played Hobbs in Hobbs and Shaw. Or Miranda Hobbs. We also have buttons. We have freedom buttons that say,

"'Blame me, I voted for piss pigs.'" I don't think I saw that. And they're in election style buttons. Let me see that. Now blame me, I voted for piss pigs. And they're in like election style buttons. Let me see that. Now look, no one ran this by me. I didn't see that. We did. I was, no.

We were curbing the use of the PP term on merch because it's a little aggressive to walk in a store and have someone be like, I'm a piss pig. I'm gonna say yes. A button I guess is small. Buttons are offensive every day. You know, it's like buttons. That's a good point.

Buttons are an area where you might read something you're not expecting. If you see somebody coming with a button on their jacket, you're like, I'm not gonna look at that. Yeah, it's on you if you look at it. That might hurt me. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Anyway, all this stuff, go to cbbworld.com. I think it's probably cbbworld.com slash merch. Probably. But all of that stuff is up right now and you can buy it. And they all made us laugh when we saw the designs. They really did. I was so shocked and surprised. Except these buttons I don't remember.

That's not cbbworld.merch. That didn't work. Well, it will by the time this comes out, honey. Oh, I thought maybe you already had merch up there, sweetie pie. Can I tell you something? When we do that to each other, it really makes me laugh. I like sometimes I just think about it and it makes me laugh.

I assumed you already had merch, dear. What? I assumed you already had merch, dear. No, we don't, sweetie. Okay, honey bunches of oats. But by the time this episode comes out, we will. And this is very exciting for us to have this merch and we hope you like it.

It is very exciting. Because it makes us laugh. Oh my God, please buy some. And wear it. Paul and I are on tour right now. Yes, we are. We're in the middle of our longest leg, I believe, right now.

Our longest leg. I have FOMO. I know, we miss you. You know what? I wear my little Lauren Lapkus pin. That made my day when you showed me that. And people pointed out all the time. That's very nice.

And I say, will Lauren ever come back and do shows? And I say, no. Yes, yes. No. Okay. Never. Not on these. I would love to.

No, it'd be great, but- I won't be on tour though, no. No, not on this one. Can't leave a newborn. Maybe in a couple of years or something. Yeah. But in any case, what else do we need to say? If you and Mike reconciled.

Everything's fine. If you're listening to the ad supported version on Tuesdays, we have three visiting on the twos. That's right. Those are older episodes. Classic. Classic episodes. You'll be hearing those, but if you want to hear ad free episodes, go over to CBBworld.com

and you can hear ad free episodes. And I think that's all we have to talk about, right? Yeah. Follow us on socials, 3DimUSA. And we really love you. Thank you for listening. It was so nice to meet so many people who are fans of the show. It really means a lot to us. And if you were worried, yeah, Lauren's on her phone by now. Yeah, she's checked out. You're talking about stuff I don't know. I just found a good restaurant I want to go to. We're coming in for a landing.

Lauren's like, I could probably charge my phone now. I mean, you, you just, I did a lot this episode. You know, I was like fully, I was fully present. Lauren hears that, she's like, phone goes on. All right, we'll see you. Bye. What do weddings, Instagram, and toxic relationships all have in common? They take your money and you can't get it back. 16 grand somewhere in there. Gone. There's no legal solution for the fact that you married an asshole.

Welcome to The Dough. I'm X-Maya. We're diving into the story surrounding the moolah baby. The good, the bad, and the unexpected. Yeah, we talking about it all. The Dough is out now, wherever you get your podcast. Hi, I'm June Diane Raphael. And I'm Jessica St. Clair. And we would like to invite you on a hilarious and heartfelt journey each week on the Deep Dive.

From navigating the chaos of motherhood and family to exploring the depths of grief and loss, we are just two best friends who process life together and with you guys. Discover our secrets to finding joy amidst the madness and get ready for unfiltered conversations about life, love, and everything in between. And nails, we talk a lot about nails. Now, community is everything to us at the Deep Dive. We believe in the power of connection

and the strength that comes from supporting one another and we would love to have you with us. So be sure to join us every Wednesday on the Deep Dive from Lemonade Media wherever you get your podcasts.