Threedom - The Zoo STINKS!
Episode Date: May 23, 2024Lauren, Scott, and Paul talk blankets, slankets, and bluggies, oh my! Then they play Out of Ten. Follow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA. Send Threetures and emails to threedomusa@gmail.com. Leave us a v...oicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.com. Subscribe at cbbworld.com to gain access to every episode of Threedom ad-free as well as brand new Threemium episodes every other week! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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That's crazy. I swear to God I heard a monkey. You're losing it. Yeah, no, I'm I you're losing your marbles
Am I going insane? Here's your head in the zoo. You're absolutely going. I do think about the zoo a lot. Really? Yeah
What do you think about it? I think I think it smells okay
You want to buy one so I want to buy one with someone else so they can say we bought a zoo
Yes, yes, so kind of like just on any given day, you're just kind of going, the zoo smells.
Yeah, at any given hour.
Yeah.
And you know, you are right.
Thank you.
It stinks because you know why?
And here's my theory, the animals shit everywhere.
Interesting.
And then the people clean it up, but not right away.
Hmm.
I think it's tourists.
Okay.
I think they make the smell.
I think it's tourists. Okay. Yeah, I think they make the smell. I think it's people who are tourists
Hmm. Can you imagine if we we just lived in a zoo year-round like if like if aliens abducted us
Yeah, like a slaughterhouse five kind of situation
What if we kind of are?
They fucking suck man. What if people are coming by and looking at us? God, I hope a slaughterhouse five doesn't happen. Honestly
God, I hope that every day if we are in a zoo, it's not that bad.
They did a pretty good job. Yeah, because we each get to kind of make it our own design. We have a
very wide ranging habitat because it involves planes. We don't know. We don't know what the
other planets are. They might be zoo visitors. Yeah, they probably are. Right. Yeah. We think
it's one of those things. Got to put a quarter. We think it's amazing to have like planes and
stuff. But like if you went to another planet and you saw what it was like when they don't have a zoo there,
you'd be like, oh, we're actually really confined.
They think it's cute that we get on planes.
Yeah, they're like, oh, they think they're going somewhere.
They think it's cute that we have zoos.
They're like, oh, they're in a zoo,
and they put these other animals in a zoo.
Yeah, they think they're in control.
That's mortifying.
That's really cute little things.
That's humiliating.
It's like when a child has a little like kitchen place.
Yeah, aw.
You're like, oh, you think you're really cooking, don't you?
Yeah, that food's made of wood, idiot.
Hey, welcome to Freedom.
I put that there.
Welcome to Freedom.
I'm Scott.
I'm Paul.
I'm Lauren.
And this is another episode.
This is episode 202.
Can you believe that?
The palindromic.
Just another manic Monday.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I wish it was Sunday. episode. This is episode two oh two. Can you believe that? Palindromic.
I wish it was Sunday.
That's my fun day.
I don't have to run day.
Just another manic money.
I was listening to it and I was like this. First of all, I love that song. But secondly, get that it on the way here. It's a perfect loop. I was listening to it and I was like, this, first of all, I love that song.
But secondly,
Let's get that out of the way.
Let me just make that clear.
Not enough songs about how like, just a hard day.
It's been a hard day.
It's like, I'm not gonna get there.
Bad day.
Which, what day, he, she wishes it was.
Prince wrote it.
I know Prince wrote it and then Susanna Hux sang it.
So Prince wishes it was Sunday,
but Susanna is just expressing that for him.
Because Sunday is the fun day.
Don't you wish it was Saturday?
Yeah, but Sunday's my, I don't have to run day.
Cause it's like Saturday, you're still doing shit.
Yeah, Saturday, like you have the kids.
You're doing, oh, I don't think they are in the song.
A false day off.
Prince, all of Prince's kids.
Pick up their kids.
Yeah, I think they're just out partying.
They would have had good children, like attractive.
Together. Yeah, I think we don't know that they didn't.
Oh, my God, you're right. Well, that's a mystery.
So you're just shutting it down, the investigation.
This is a cold case, Lauren. That's a mystery.
That's a mystery we'll never understand, we'll never solve.
Or a cold case episode should have ended with that.
Yeah, well, that's a mystery. This case understand, we'll never solve. Or a cold case episode should have ended with that. Yeah, well that's a mystery.
This case remains cold.
Cold as hell.
This was never solved.
It didn't happen.
What if they did that at the end of the cold case?
We made this up.
What?
You've been watching the show for years.
Oh, by the way, we forgot to tell you, all of these are stories.
A room of writers wrote that one.
It's good. It's funny. It's good. It's a really good bit.
It's a good bit. All right. So it's been less than 24 hours since we've seen each other.
So much has gone down, dude. So much. OK, tell us everything.
I watched more Love is Blind. OK, Reality Recon. I watched more Love is Blind. Okay, reality recap.
I watched more Survivor, not Survivor.
What the hell, Paul?
I'm so sorry.
The Traders Australia.
The Traders Australia.
Love is Blind, people are growing on me.
The first episode, they put in a lot,
they're people who straight up leave.
Yeah.
So, which is a good thing.
And then they have some love happening and I'm excited.
I always wonder because the people who don't make it
to the altar are the sane ones to me,
like in the bachelor or in this.
You really shouldn't.
But like what kind of situation would you have to be in
in your life in order to undergo a love is blind?
That's a great question.
God, you know, I watch that and I think about that
cause I just go, you're really limiting the pool in a way but then you're
like, but you've but these are people who've been trying to
date on the apps and people who supposedly are ready for
marriage, which narrows everything down a little bit.
This is the last resort. I've tried literally everything else.
I should go on this game show.
But there's one guy who's saying, who's literally like, I'm
about a bad person. I don like, I'm a bad person,
I don't think I'm a good person yet or something.
And then this girl like is about to get engaged to him.
Yeah.
And she already knew that he said that.
And she's like, that's a red flag for me.
And I'm like, it should be.
That's pretty much like-
That's a red flag for me, a red flag.
It's red glasses.
You get 100 flags.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
It's just one.
Wait, is this the guy that had the list of questions?
No, it's a different guy. That guy left.
He told two girls the same thing and then they found out and then he was like...
He used the same kind of language of, oh, I can't wait to talk to your father to ask him for permission.
Ew.
And he kept talking, you know, he was really annoying. And he also kept talking...
Oh, sorry, I don't mean to say that about him.
He also kept talking about how America was watching.
And they were like, okay, but how about this relationship?
And he's like, but America will see that I did this.
And it's like, you're talking to real people.
What about me?
What about the person you're talking to?
Like, focus on what you just did,
not how it will be perceived by America.
So you want to do this?
Me?
Do what?
Go on Love is Blind?
I gotta go on.
I just wanna see if I can fall in love. You want to do this? Me? Do what? Do you want the show? Go on Love is Blind? I gotta go on.
I want to see if I can fall in love.
They should put one married person in there
just to throw a monkey in the...
Throw a monkey in the wrench.
But they should be able to say...
I hear it again!
No, you don't.
They should be able to say that they're married.
Like at a certain point they're like,
I do have a secret.
I am married. But we've already fallen in love. So I wanted to see if that's a deal breaker.
And I will not get divorced from my current partner. Is that a red flag? That's a red
flag. But yes, let me ask you this because I wrestle with this now that I somehow have
reality programming in my life. No, this has been such a great shift. Such a turnaround
for you because early,
in our early seasons, Paul, you were mentally out
when we would do reality.
I was mentally diminished.
Yeah, you would be, you would be,
literally I could see you on an island
drinking a margarita.
Thinking about the zoo.
As we talked, thinking about how the zoo stinks.
That's my happy place.
I figure myself on an island, tropical drink, little umbrella, thinking about how much the
zoo smells like shit.
The vampire.
Vampire.
What am I talking about?
What the fuck?
What?
I meant to say vampire.
Vampire zoo.
I meant to say Vanderpump.
Vampire zoo.
You got very excited, but I don't think there's anything there.
We should make one.
Vampire zoo.
Okay, they're up all night.
It's all animals that drink blood.
Vampire zoo. I don't think in any vampire zoo, there's anything there. I don't think in any vampire zoo, there's anything there. I don't think in any vampire zoo, there's anything there. I don't think in any vampire zoo, there's anything there. We should make one. Vampire Zoo, okay, they're up all night. Skyward people could have seen Scott's eyes.
It's all animals that drink blood.
Vampire Zoo.
I don't think in any vampire feed,
this is just a good idea for-
Do you know what that, here's what it felt like to me
when you said Vampire Zoo all excited.
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.
Yes.
Vampire Zoo, we got it.
I'm throwing a ball against the wall.
Everybody go home.
I need to watch that.
How could I access that? I wanna- I have them all. You do? Yes, I do. He ball against the wall. Everybody go home. I need to watch that. How could I access that?
I have them all.
You do?
Yes, I do.
He's collected them all.
I've been threatening to do a rewatch podcast
of that show. Oh my God, do it.
Yeah, I gotta do it.
Yeah, we watched the first one for Sean Clements podcast.
It's available to watch somewhere?
I guess. YouTube probably.
Yeah, or we rented it, but it's very good.
But what I'm trying to say about Vampire Zoo is I don't think I've seen it in any
movie about no, those are two words.
Why that is those two words have not been put together like a world that has
enslaved the vampires.
Okay. It's vampires in the zoo. I thought the animals were vampires.
Ooh, that's a, now you're talking. That's a little vampire.
It's too much crossover. That's true. Because cows become vampires.
I actually think that's really good actually.
Watch the little vampire and see what you think.
What is it called?
The little vampire.
The little vampire with Jonathan Lipnicki.
I want to keep it that way, dude.
Why do you always bring up Jonathan Lipnicki every day of my life?
That's the other thing he thinks about constantly.
And you always think the human head weighs eight pounds.
I wonder if he would agree is what happens.
I always come to that.
I think about how much, look, I'm having my tropical drink.
Right, I'm having my time on a beach,
it's beautiful ocean waves, clear blue water
like you can see from miles.
Wow, that's gorgeous.
Swing palms, I'm sipping my drink,
I'm starting to think about the juice smelling like shit.
And then eventually after a couple hours,
I start to think, would Jonathan Libnicki agree with me?
Yeah.
And have you ever really heard his opinions on anything?
No.
He should call in.
You kind of don't know where he's coming from
pretty much on anything.
He's so afraid to offend people.
Call into our Thremium episodes
if you're listening, Jonathan.
Jonathan Libnicki, please go to hagclaims8.com,
leave us a voicemail,
do you think the zoo smells like shit?
Also, what do you think about other things?
Also go to do you think the zoo smells like shit.com.
We have it.
Where you can vote in our poll.
Yep.
It's not about whether the zoo smells like shit.
No, it's not.
That's just like to grab your attention.
It's a poll about like flavors of M&Ms.
Yes.
Yes. How many are there? That's the poll about like flavors of M&Ms. Yes, yes.
How many are there?
And we were just wondering.
But did Vanderpump get you going on the reality?
Did Vanderpump get you going on the reality?
You know what it did in a way that Southern Charm did not.
You were trying that for a while.
Southern Charm was the only one we watched.
Because it was about the town.
But that's such a like mistake.
Paul, you were bad. Well, believe me, we knew it was a mistake, but we couldn't stop
making it season after season because you would watch and go like,
Oh, look at that building. We've been there.
Yeah. But you just didn't know how much of the sound down.
You didn't know how good it could get.
You know, like, you know, you're limiting yourself. Oh, absolutely.
And and of course, with Vanderpump now in the wake of Scandival,
it being like the
it being about
like the mask completely dropping.
Yeah. And now they're acknowledging they have an audience.
They're acknowledging people watch the show.
They're not not enough as far as I'm concerned, where they should be saying, like,
you know, the only reason this is a quote unquote friend group
is because we're on a TV show,
we would never hang out with each other.
They're getting close to that though.
Yeah.
I feel like they're getting very close to that.
If the upcoming scenes are to be.
Not that they're not even friends,
maybe they're not friends anymore,
or that how much of it is for show.
Like, like.
Like we're doing a TV show and we never hang out
when the TV show's not on.
Yeah, there's, there's like a scene coming up.
That makes so much sense.
In a future episode where there's somebody is challenged on.
You know the future?
You know, is that from, is that, are you,
are you saying that in life?
Are you saying that because the cameras are here?
Right. Which is like,
it's wild to watch.
But like, I actually, wait, just really quick.
Yeah. Okay.
Really quick.
Just really quick.
Really quick. I said it, I said it. Oh, you said it, okay. I didn't even understand just really quick. Yeah, really quick. Okay, just really quick. Really quick. How quick?
I said it, I said it.
Oh, you said it, okay.
I didn't even understand.
Oh, shit, that was too quick.
No, I feel like if you're at that point,
it's almost like how we don't even wanna share a real story
until we're recording.
It's like, they should just.
No, I sat on that Cool Up story for months.
They do not want to communicate and waste good stuff
that they could be doing for the show.
That's why we just not even hang out. That's why we need to do reveal our connections on this podcast.
Purple, blue, yellow, green.
If you get a purple to start, you get glasses, emojis.
But Paul gave up on connections because he thinks it's bullshit.
And I just got the New York Times bummed me out.
I don't want to get the New York.
The old gray lady, the old gray lady, the paper of record.
OK, so what we're going to say about Vinda Pimp.
So you said the one guy was annoying on that show,
and then you sort of backtracked that you felt bad about it.
Well, yeah. But here's the thing.
He is. Well, I don't want to say it.
I feel like I feel like the idea of these shows and I'm not
saying this is positive but I feel like these shows are they're inviting us to
do that and they're giving us license to do that. That's that's kind of their
whole point is you're looking through a window at these people and you're
making your opinions about them. Yes. And from week to week you're talking about them.
And I know they're complicit in it, but at the same time they're young and don't know
what they're doing and then suddenly...
Depending on the show.
Yeah.
Some of the love is blind people are not that young, but some are like 24, but some are
like 33, 34 year olds.
But guess what?
Those people can be annoying.
You and me.
Yeah.
And I mean, it's also a really tough situation to not be annoying in because-
Absolutely.
You're trying to find your husband and wife
through a partition.
And as Lily Sullivan put it,
you're like in a warehouse that's freezing, it seems,
because they always have blankets around them.
That's a recipe for annoying.
I do think that they're getting fed more actively.
Hold on a second.
They're wearing, they've got blankets around them?
They always have like a million blankets around them.
But they're also dressed, you know, wearing a cute dress.
A cute dress, maybe it's like, it's not that warm.
But like, the Pulse,
Pulse let it go, they have blankets around them all the time.
What is strange about it?
Like in the movie Lincoln?
It's like when they're cozy, and when they're cozy,
they're hanging out in the little shared community space.
Isn't it interesting, like the whole blanket industry.
Mm, let's get into it.
What about slankets?
But once we got like heat in houses.
We're always talking about blankets,
we never talk about slankets.
What about bluggies?
But we don't need them anymore.
Bluggy.
When's the last time you bought a blanket?
When's the last time you bought a bluggy?
When's the last time you were like, oh, too cold in here.
Let me go down to the store and buy a blanket.
I love buying blankets.
I have too many.
But I love single use blankets.
Well, I love them.
We have like a big box.
We pull out like tissues.
Yeah, it's great.
We get all your oils on it. Get all your oils on it.
Yeah, you blow your nose on it.
They're wonderful.
Oh, that's a dream.
They should create these.
Did you remember in the past?
We could be the new MyPillow guy.
My blanket?
My blanket.
It's MyPillow.
You could blow your nose on it.
It's MyPillow.
But we do it like Kleenex, we go BlankX.
Yeah, and then that starts to become the word for blanket
and then you're like, it's actually a brand.
Why don't we call it Bluffs, like puffs?
Okay, deal.
Fuck you, great.
I got my way.
As long as we're doing it.
But why don't you call it Blitos, like Cheetos?
Whoa.
Because I think people will think blood is involved.
Okay, what about Chee-blows?
What about Chee? She blows?
She blows, she blows!
Hey baby, she blows, she blows.
What about Thar she blows?
What about it?
You don't hear that much anymore.
How about Thar she blankets?
Yeah, Thar she blankets.
Thar she blankets is it.
That's it.
Okay, but I wanted to say, on the previous seasons of Love is Blind,
there was like a whole like lawsuit or something about.
Yes. And they cut out people and they didn't feed them,
which was really weird because I was watching that season going like no one.
No one's getting engaged or anything.
They ended up with like two couples and it was so boring.
Well, but but they cut people entirely.
Eating a lot. They're eating a lot. I think that
they weren't fed and this time they're going, now look, you have sushi all the time. You're
always eating. That guy's making a sandwich. These are all things that they didn't have.
You have sushi all the time. That guy's making a sandwich. They seemed to not have access
to food at their beck and call. That was something that was said in the, in the sort of expose
doc. Right. you series we all series
you know Paul I wanted to bring this up on my Paul and I were singing the theme
song to see an age pure cane show that's correct right before we started oh yeah
a little warm-up but while while you were taking care I know it's from Jess
McKenna singing it on doughboys okay that's otherwise you don't know it from Jess McKenna singing it on Doughboys. Okay, that's a great place to know it.
I don't know it otherwise.
You don't know it from life.
But C&H Sugar still exists,
why do they not advertise anymore?
It was everywhere in the 70s and the 80s.
Well, that was back when you guys didn't know
that you could just buy sugar.
Right, so it was like-
Oh, that's right, now available to the public.
Yeah, it was kind of like, it used to be like,
you could only have it if you're a corporation.
Or you have to go to the library.
Yeah. I rent it.
But at what point are they just like, yeah, we're good.
Everyone knows about us.
I think it's kind of like, it's such a basic image.
Like it's a basic bitch brand.
I can see the packaging and I just go, that's one.
Oh, you see an H.
Yeah, my mom uses that.
They've been around since 1906.
Dang!
But they didn't start really advertising with that song
until the 70s or 80s, right?
And then at some point they're like, okay,
we did what we needed to do.
Maybe the head of the company hated that song.
Can you sing it?
C and H, pure cane sugar.
That's not the one I know.
From Hawaii, growing in the sun when you cook when you bake maybe you
should use CNH pure cane sugar that's the one maybe you should use it weird
breakdown in the song where the singers get confused.
And also, also.
The writers of the song get confused.
Yeah, and then Meg confuses the singers.
Yeah.
That's not the version I know.
What's the version you know?
C and H, C and H, that's a minute and a B and A and A.
She sang a fast version.
Find it.
You're making that up.
Find it.
But that was-
Name them.
That was one of our mutuals. That was one of our mutuals. Name them.
That was one of our mutuals.
I'm gonna text Jess right now and ask her to voicemail.
To voicemail it, okay.
Thank you.
And then you can plug it in here.
But that was one of our mutuals, Paul,
you and I's mutuals.
Point about McDonald's was they were saying,
why does McDonald's need to advertise anymore?
They could use all that money for charity or whatever
I think they still need to advertise and see I was sort of like yeah
They still need to because the reason they advertise all the time is to remind you all the time of like oh that
Makes me hungry. Let me go to and I also think if they didn't advertise we'd start to go
What's going on there? Yeah, but that's what I'm saying about C&H. It worked for them
Sugar is one thing It's one thing they. It worked for them Sugar is one thing
It's one thing they don't they don't sugar is one thing sugar is one thing
Now now now McDonald's has 400 menu items. It's made up of granules though sugar
Yes, okay, so it's like most it's and add more than most things
So is sugar the collective noun for all of those granules?
All of those things. Yeah.
Well is table the collective noun for all of the atoms and molecules?
Well is water, like is water the name of like,
you know, two hydrogen molecules and then one oxygen molecule?
No.
Okay.
What are you, oh, you're still texting Jess.
Hello, good morning.
I have wanted to text you.
So nice to talk to you today.
I'm getting into my dream, hold on.
So I had this dream about C and H.
Someone online was-
They're like lying to try to make it make more sense,
but it's like-
Someone online was saying that they've now
texted all their friends like they're Joe Biden
or Kamala Harris texting you.
Oh my God.
This is-
Urgence.
Urgence.
Do you want to go to movies tonight?
This is Lauren Lapkus asking you for your sincere help.
Are you going to humiliate Lauren
by not going to the movies?
Is there anything I can say
to get you to have lunch with me?
That's so desperate. How about the one where it was like, not going to the movies? Is there anything I can say to get you to have lunch with me?
How about the one where it was like, are you going to watch?
If you don't watch the state of the union, President Biden will be humiliated. That one really, that's so crazy. I guess I humiliated him by not watching it.
Yeah, me too. I watched traitors.
I don't know what I was doing.
So you're, if you had, you had a binary choice,
traitors or state of the union,
or I guess going outside.
Or anything else in the world.
Trinary union?
Trinary decision?
You actually were able to do whatever you wanted right then.
Yeah, that's true.
Gotta be on the beach thinking about the zoo
smelling like shit.
Okay.
So, but let's say you had to watch something.
Okay. You picked traitors. Yes. What if but let's say you had to watch something. Okay.
You picked traders.
Yes.
What if you had already seen-
Even if I didn't have to.
What if you'd already seen-
What if you'd already seen all traders' episodes?
You heard it from the beginning.
And what if you'd already seen State of the Union?
What if you wrote the State of the Union?
And you wanted to see how it got said.
The State of the union. And you wanted to see how it got said. Hey, hey, hey, look, the state of the union is strong. Everybody, you know that America is the greatest country
in the world.
So Paul, you're saying that Biden's too old
to be president, and that you're voting for Trump.
What is the age difference there?
It's not, like two months, I think.
Yeah, like, we gotta stop, like, as as a country acting like he's older than Trump.
It's not that he's too old.
It's other reasons.
You're too young.
Here's what I want.
I want 35 year old like.
No you don't.
No I don't necessarily but there's also.
Still getting blackout drunk.
What I'm saying.
Okay I want, how about when Obama was president he was like 40 something. I'm like let's get a 40 something president. You didn I'm saying. Yeah. Okay, I want, how about when Obama was president, he was like 40 something.
I'm like, let's get a 40 something president.
You didn't build that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Someone who's got some energy.
What, is he talking about the wall?
I don't know.
And they have some new ideas.
You didn't build that.
And they're with it, you know, with talking about the-
And they're hip.
And they play basketball.
They're hip and cool.
And they were tan suits.
They play pickleball.
Biden makes good memes.
They smoke.
I'll give him that.
Biden makes good memes. They smoke. I'll give him that. Biden makes good memes.
I know he's in bed making those those.
Let's go Brandon.
I got another dark brand.
Smells silver ball.
Red eyes.
All right, we have to take a break.
Put the red eyes in there.
Bye.
with the red eyes in there. Bye.
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Wouldn't you love to hear Alan Cummings say that?
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Hi, I'm June Diane Raphael. And I'm Jessica St. Clair.
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He makes the memes in bed.
And we're back.
Paul's still laughing about making the memes in bed.
Do you have Joe Biden sitting up in bed in the White House making the memes?
What's funny is I could see Trump doing that.
Like from 8 a.m. to 1 p.m. when he would go into the White House.
Yeah, absolutely.
He does tweet often. And it's clearly him. I mean, he would go into the White House. Yeah, absolutely. He does? Yeah, yeah.
Tweet often, and it's clearly him.
I mean, that's the difference, I guess.
That's the main difference I see between them.
Although you could, I feel like Trump could very easily have somebody tweet as him and
they could nail the voice.
Well, yeah.
You know what I mean?
Everyone can do it.
Simply everyone can do it.
I actually, the one on the Oscars, I was like, is that real or not?
But then it was.
I kind of didn't know at first
that it was going to be Trump.
But it was kind of perfect that it was real.
Yeah. Yeah.
The Oscars from two months ago.
I don't give a shit.
Yeah, man, yeah.
We can't talk about history.
But we're still talking about tweets
written by presidents and former presidents.
We're still talking about these?
Yeah, this is presidential history.
This is presidential history.
What is your favorite history thing?
When Trump tweeted that thing during the Oscars.
Cotton gin.
So yeah, those are two.
It was such a big deal.
Like that kicked off the industrial revolution.
I think mine's pasteurizing milk.
Now do we ever even think about it?
What if when they kicked off the industrial revolution,
if Pitbull had been alive
and he could have performed at it, at the kickoff.
That would have been so cool.
Mr. Worldwide.
It really feels like a missed opportunity.
Or at least Mr. Lover Lover.
Is that one of his names?
No, that's Sean Paul, of course.
Mr. Lover Lover.
Oh, I'm so sorry, I apologize.
To Pitbull as well.
Make sure you apologize.
And I apologize to Pitbull.
Here comes the nose.
Mr. Worldwide. Here comes the nose. One of Pitbull's famous tracks. Apologize to pit bull as well
Famous tracks
What does people do he sings he barks and he chases other dogs
He shaved his head. He's not as mean as you think he is people always think pit bull is like so aggressive But he's actually a really nice guy
And he's actually really controlled.
Pitbull does have a locking jaw.
Pitbull will wear a harness around his mouth or muzzle
if it makes you more comfortable.
If you ever see those pictures of Pitbull
when he didn't have the current Pitbull look
and he looks just so funny.
I can't imagine.
He looks just so funny.
I've never seen one.
Does he look like his high school picture and he has just so he looks just so funny. I've never seen what does it get high school picture.
He has long hair.
So how do I access this pitbull not looking like pitbull.
This is a classic meme format.
Oh guys.
She responded.
Absolutely no prob.
Absolutely here.
You want to plug it in?
Here we go.
Absolutely no prob. Here we go. you wanna play with me? Great. Here we go. Absolutely no prob.
Here we go.
This is Jess McKenna singing.
And coming in at number two,
it's Jess McKenna for the fifth week in a row
with the C&H Jingle.
Hi, Paul, Lauren and Scott.
Hi, Freedom listeners.
Oh, she's in a church.
C&H, C&H.
My mom uses it to make her cakes.
It makes the greatest cookies, snacks, and candy.
They're Dan Dan Dandy.
Island kids all love the cane.
It grows so clean and sweet.
They eat it when it's freshly cut.
And then that's quite a treat.
Neat.
Touched by sun, kissed by rain.
C and H comes from the sugar cane.
It makes the greatest cookie, snacks and candy
in the bright pink package.
Exactly, isn't that cute?
So now I've never heard that before.
So maybe C&H still is putting out jams.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Maybe every generation gets their own C&H jingle
and nobody else can hear it.
Okay, pit bull with hair.
Pit bull with hair.
Pit bull with hair.
It's a dog. Pit bull with,. Pit bull with hair. It's a dog.
Pit bull with, oh.
That is odd.
Oh boy.
So it reminds me of how much like every human body
is just kind of ridiculous,
but you gotta find the way.
Oh yeah, I forgot about that.
The way, like the one thing you can wear
that makes you look cool or the one thing, you know,
if it's shaving your head, maybe it's that.
Maybe it's sunglasses.
But for him, it was sunglasses, wearing a tuxedo,
and shaving his head.
Those were the three things in a combo
that make everyone go like.
Is someone with sunglasses like Joe Biden?
With the red eyes?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, ice cream.
Oh, here's him with super long hair.
Look at this.
Oh, that's, hey, that's a look.
He, so wait, did he just shave his head?
T.M.D. He stopped balding. He, so wait, did he just shave his head? T.N.H.
He stopped balding.
He just shaved his head because he felt like it.
I don't know, this is him with like,
It's a totally different vibe.
This is like, what's that guy from Game of Thrones?
Jon Snow. Jon Snow.
I thought that too.
Sort of Jon Snow look.
You know nothing Pitbull.
Should he go back to it?
He should.
Grow it out slowly but surely.
Here's what I would do if I were Pitbull, right?
Grow it out slowly but surely. I've always wondered. And I shave. Well's what I would do if I were Pitbull, right? Growing out slowly but surely.
I've always wondered.
And I should.
Well, what I would do is I would sit down
and think about the zoo and think.
I'm finally breaking my.
I think it smells good.
I'm finally breaking my silence on this.
By the way, this reminds me of like any nowadays
on entertainment news headlines,
they're always like, so-and-so reveals.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or, you know, it's like they're not revealing,
they just happen to say it.
That happened to me when somebody said
I broke my silence on something.
I was like, what?
You asked me a question and I tried to not answer it.
So if I were Pitbull and I still had a full head of hair
but I shave it for a look,
I would hide in my Pitbull mansion
for like a few months.
Okay. Like Howard Hughes, but Pitbull. I like a few months. Okay.
Like Howard Hughes.
Yes, I wouldn't tell anyone.
No one knows where I am.
Right.
And you're getting groceries delivered,
but you're saying like, leave him at the door.
Yeah, I'm putting on a voice like, leave him at the door.
That's good, because I'll think you're-
This is Pitbull's mother.
Oh, exactly.
And-
That's intimidating.
And I let my hair and my beard grow.
Okay. Good.
Sort of like Gandalf?
You're never trimming the beard?
Cause this sort of like Gandalf.
This beard is pretty trimmed.
This seems like a week maybe.
He did.
Do you think there was a Moher Gandalf actually thought,
I'm gonna grow out my hair.
And did he ask people, was he like,
Hey Frodo, should I grow this out?
Should I do like, Frodo, should I do like all one length and just like swept back? Yeah. And then Frodo's like, hey Frodo, should I grow this out? Should I do like, Frodo, should I do like all one length
and just like swept back?
Yeah.
And then Frodo's like, what about a feathered cut?
What about Gandalf with like a Jennifer Aniston Rachel cut?
Oh, I'd love to see it.
That's so pretty.
That would be so pretty.
Can we do that into AI?
I've never used AI yet.
Can we do that into AI?
AI, can you please make people with Jennifer Aniston? I know this makes me sound a million years old, but how do you even?? AI, can you please make pimple with Jennifer Aniston?
I know this makes me sound a million years old, but how do you even do AI?
Look, do you have to go to a thing?
Honestly, I don't know.
I know that there's a website.
I just have to go to a thing.
Like it's chat GPT or whatever, right?
Yeah.
There's chat, there's a bunch of them now.
I honestly don't know.
So you just go to a website and then ask them to put something in and then it does it for free or do you have to pay them?
I think you get some for free.
Some for free.
Can we get this one for free?
Are you enjoying this?
Try it.
So here's what I would do.
So I'm Pitbull.
Oh wow, I can't believe I'm next to you.
I'm hiding.
Mr. Worldwide right here.
Mr. Area code whatever it is.
I gotta sign up.
Oh Jesus Christ. I would hide in my house. is. I gotta sign up. Oh, Jesus Christ.
I would hide in my house.
Everything wants you to sign up.
Fuck this shit.
I don't want you to know where I am.
You're hiding it?
I don't want to give you my assassination coordinates.
You're hiding in your house.
I'm hiding in my house.
I'm letting my hair and beard grow.
After, I'm going to say, three months, I take a pair of,
I take a suit, one of my famous suits.
Yeah.
I cut like triangular raggedy edges in the sleeves.
And you cut it into shorts?
And the pants, I cut them into shorts
with like raggedy edges.
Raggedy Andy style?
Much like, you know what?
He was not that raggedy.
Or like Frankenstein style.
Frankenstein style.
I feel like he was rag doll.
So that's more really where it came from.
He was a rag doll, but he was actually very well put together.
But it's very pejorative to call him raggedy.
I think so, too.
And raggedy Ann. Yeah.
Yeah, I'm glad they found each other.
They're siblings.
But I call a press conference.
Are they? Who have sacks?
I think they're siblings.
They're basically twins.
I always thought they were.
Okay. Siblings are dating.
Lovers.
Siblings are dating Raggedy and Raggedy Andy.
Why do you think they're siblings?
Do you know that?
Siblings are dating them?
Siblings or dating.
Do you know that website?
Siblings are dating. Yes.
Oh, website, Instagram.
Do you have to sign up for that?
You have to sign up to have it.
You don't. You don't have to sign up.
I mean, unless you want to be one.
I'd like to be one.
I call a press conference in Miami, Natch.
Okay, Natch.
And I say, I was shipwrecked.
And I just got back to shore.
They're siblings by the way.
Okay. Okay, Lauren.
Raggedy Ann and her brother, Raggedy Andy,
are a couple of rag dolls.
A couple, a couple.
You just said it.
Yeah.
You just said it.
I rest my case, your honor.
Face dismissed. This is the sentence.
A couple of Marcells living in Marcella's playroom with their very best friends. They go on a lot
of wild adventures. Who are their friends? We've never heard of anyone other than these two.
Raggedy Thomas, Raggedy Joan.
It continues.
Raggedy Ann and her brother Raggedy Andy
are a couple of ragdolls living in Marsala's favorite.
It continues to say the exact same thing.
So this is AI.
I don't know, that's what IMDB says.
Many people are asking about Raggedy Ann and Andy,
and are they pregnant?
And the signs say that yes, they they are and they couldn't be happier,
but they are not a couple anymore.
Should I sign up for this just to get the Gandalf picture?
Why don't we just put it out to the fans?
Just put it out to the fans. Send us these pictures.
All right. We want to see Gandalf with first of all, beautiful, feathery, feathery,
like almost like a Farrah Fawcett. Yes.
See like like in the same pose, in the same swimsuit. It's Farrah Fawcett. I want to see like a... In the same pose.
In the same swimsuit.
How about like a Golden Girls kind of look?
Yeah, sure.
Okay, we'll do an Estelle Getty and then we want to see him with the Rachel.
Give us four squares, different looks for Gandalf.
Did Estelle Getty invent Getty images?
Yes.
First it was just pictures of her.
Let's branch out. Let's make it everybody.
I love people now when they go to like red carpets or friends of ours, when they go to red carpets,
they now like rip off the Getty images and they're so low res.
It's so grainy.
When they post them.
No, I know. It's a real danger zone. I've been, a lot of celebrities have this problem.
There's, you'll, you'll notice the A-listers posting grainy images
and I used to go, let's wake up, let's put the glasses on.
Let's get a second opinion on this picture.
Let's make sure everyone can see it.
Why not buy it from Getty Images?
I'm talking about literally like Julia Roberts
posted a grainy image of somebody else.
I'm going, let's just go.
I'm not saying someone at our level,
we can't afford this shit. I'm not paying $500 for a Getty image of myself. Yeah. I'm going, I'm not saying someone at our level. We can't afford this shit.
I'm not paying $500 for a getty image of myself. Yeah.
No, but they should send it to you. I feel if it's you, they should send it to you.
Yeah. Because they've captured your soul.
It's a little bit, but anyway, I'm just like, we need everyone to wake up. We need to slow down.
We need to just share the image with a few people in your room. Get raggedy.
Let's just see if it's grainy or not, you know?
Sometimes it's hard to tell.
Sometimes you don't know.
Sometimes you can't see.
But we saw the Martin Sharpe Steve Martin show.
The Martin Sharpe Steve Martin show,
we've talked about it, I think.
But he was the lowest res image when they were like.
To project at the Hollywood Bowl.
Hollywood Bowl.
Was it a joke? No, no, it was part of their routine where they were like to project at the Hollywood Bowl. Oh, is it a joke?
No, no, they were.
It was it was part of their routine where they were talking about certain celebrities.
I feel like the Elon Musk one was so low res.
Yeah, it was really funny.
It was such a tiny, tiny picture.
I busted someone on a zoom the other day.
I was like, you're when they first come on before they turn their camera.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like an icon of their picture or whatever.
It was the smallest lowest thing. And he's like, oh, I guess I didn icon of their picture or whatever. It was the smallest lowest risk thing.
And he's like, oh, I guess I didn't even know I had one.
That must be from like 12 years ago when I signed up for weird.
Yeah. Was it Bill Nye?
The science guy for zoom.com?
That was flawless. Yeah.
Thank you. Oh, I stood behind him in line to meet the president.
Speaking of Obama. Wow.
And like a county fair. Yep. It was the pie
eating contest. Everybody, you want to come and meet me? No, I can't do it. I can't do
Obama. Come on, he was the president. We should be able to imitate him. That is a big fucking
deal. You know what I mean? Yeah, I know. It's like there should be a certain- Everyone should
be able to imitate the president. Yes, that is our first amendment rights.
Yeah.
One A.
Yes, first amendment guarantees us the right
to be good at imitating the president.
And with that, and I'm not saying we can be arrested
for it or whatever, because obviously we can't,
but just you can't cancel us
for imitating the president. I can't get arrested
in this town.
You can't cancel me.
Have you been arrested?
No, I know you guys have.
I have, yes.
You have, for what?
Smoking, oh you had a cigarette in the subway.
Oh right.
We've talked about this.
This is one of my classic tales.
Cigarette in the subway.
Cigarette in the subway, I know.
So this is a mirror in the bathroom.
This is a mirror in the bathroom.
See, I was trying to be the other one.
I was trying to do the girlfriend in the coma.
I was trying to be the other one.
I was trying to be the other one.
I was trying to be the other one.
Cigarette in the subway.
Do you think if Raggedy Ann and Andy had a child,
it would be damaged in some way?
Well, here's the thing.
Well, absolutely.
The baker.
I see the baker.
We need to expand the-
I saw the baker.
We need to expand the ragged verse.
Yeah, the ragged verse.
So why aren't they having kids?
Why isn't the scarecrow in their family?
Yeah.
From Batman.
Here's what's wrong with what you're doing.
Jonathan Green?
Yeah.
You know who that is now.
And the scarecrow from Wizard of Oz.
Yeah, all the famous scarecrows.
Scarecrow's a great character.
Pumpkin head ought to be in there.
By the way, can anyone just call something scarecrow now?
Because, I mean, he's in Wizard of Oz and Batman.
That's like, what a crossover.
You have to say, a scarecrow.
We need to go back in their lineage
and see who are the parents.
Who birthed them.
And how did they fall in love?
That's how we can expand the universe.
I'm just thinking how funny it would
be if scarecrow in Batmobile was a scarecrow.
A scarecrow.
Hey, look, it's a scarecrow.
We have to stop a scarecrow.
It's just one random one from a cornfield.
He insists that's what he should be called.
Isn't that weird?
I'm a scarecrow.
Just adding the word the to it makes it so chilling.
The penguin.
The Batman.
Yeah.
But Mr. Freeze is just Mr. Freeze.
The Joker?
Well, he's not that scary.
So much scarier than Steve Miller.
Yeah.
Steve Miller the-
He was just a Joker.
The song was called The Joker.
Oh, not Steven Miller.
I'm a midnight toker.
It's called the joker, the song, but then he's just a joker in the song.
Yeah, but he's the quintessential. I guess everyone else calls him the
joker. Like he's talking about himself. So he's, oh my God, he admitted.
Yeah, he's well, he's being very humble. He's being very forthcoming with his
downfalls. If you're going to come, please make it forth.
Do you think people, speaking of humblebrags, which I thought
but didn't say, are we allowed to do that now?
For transitions? I'm glad that's on the table.
But but, you know, our good friend Harris coined that term and people use it
incorrectly to create a lexicon.
Yeah, it's in the dictionary. But is it is it passed? You had to pay for your app. It's in the lexicon, yeah. That's in the dictionary.
But is it passe now?
When you had to pay for your app,
it was probably because they were updating it
with Humblebrag.
Shit, now I don't even get to see Riz in there.
Because people don't use it all that much anymore.
No, they don't.
Humblebrag?
Yeah, do people, is it passe?
I think now it's kind of like,
it's almost more like you just kind of say like,
someone's annoying.
Is there a difference between,
now you just say fuck you. Is there a difference between- Now you just say fuck you.
Is there a difference between coining a slang term and coining a word that is then used in perpetuity?
Yes.
But I think it being in the dictionary gives it a very long lasting.
Like the person who came up with Apple.
Yeah.
Right?
That was so-
Now we all call that fruit.
That was so early.
I mean that was God talking to Adam
That's you know, here's what's cool though. We have this opportunity here. We can do that
There are things that haven't been named like what like like what's this glass glass? Although?
Like it's made of glass so we should call it something different. I'll call it a cup. Oh man words like that
I'm gonna call it a cup. I just made that up.
Window, that's made of glass, but we call it a window.
Yeah, although some people call it a glass.
Looking glass.
Looking, well, looking glass.
Looking glass, that's a mirror.
Well, that's made of glass.
Yeah, I know.
Well, what about, people should call these a looking glass
because you look more outside windows than you do
into a mirror. Stop, I can't argue.
I can't argue.
You sit around looking at a mirror all day?
No, you sit around looking outside the window.
I mean, I look in a mirror all day.
That's true.
You look gorgeous.
Thank you.
You're so vague.
You look marvelous.
Do you know you look marvelous?
No.
What?
Billy Crystal.
Oh, sure.
He would do Fernando Lamas.
Yes, that does sound vaguely familiar.
You look marvelous. He would do Fernando Lamas. Yes that does sound vaguely. He would do Fernando Lamas, Muhammad Ali, Sammy Davis Jr. A lot of people of other races.
Can you dig it? I knew that you could. He was having fun. Here's what I know. And comedy used to be fun. Comedy used to be fun. Now people are sensitive. It used to be fun. In a different era. Comedy used to be fun. Now people are just sensitive. It used to be a different era.
Here's what I know about Billy Crystal.
His hat size is size seven.
Why do you know that?
Doesn't that seem small?
I was, it's kind of small.
Cause I feel like he has a big head.
Cause I'm seven and five eights.
And then I'll imagine how little his body is.
How tall is he?
He's like a weird marionette.
I don't know, he can't be that tall.
I was shocked to discover-
Oh wait, I did a thing with him.
What? So you tell me.
Did you look marvelous?
I did a table read with him,
but I don't know that I was ever standing next to him.
Yeah, he might have a long torso.
I don't know how tall he is.
He's probably 5'11", 5'10".
I was shocked. Billy Crystal?
5'8". I don't think so.
You said you're 5'11", or 5'10"?
I'm 5'10", he's probably or five 10? I'm five 10.
He's probably five 10.
I'm five nine.
Okay, he could be five nine.
Okay.
I was shocked to discover I was taller than Killian Murphy.
Whenever I'm taller than anyone, I'm shocked.
These shorties.
Really?
Well, celebrities.
These shorties.
He's five seven.
They get into movies too much.
I guess I was towering over him.
Say that's the same height as Killian Murphy.
Wow.
I feel like it's because they don't wanna tip the camera up.
Look at this video.
They don't wanna tip the camera up.
How tall is Billy?
That's why tallies don't get in TV shows and movies
that much.
Oh no, yeah, men in acting men are shorter.
It's always shorties, and they don't wanna like
tilt the camera up.
Are you sure about that?
Yeah.
A lot of leading men are short.
A lot of them are tall as well.
Okay, but a short is also what they are.
There's no mediums.
It's very rare that I've been-
I can tell you right now, there's no mediums.
It's very rare that I've been in a romantic acting role
with a person who is taller than me.
Yeah.
Most of them are-
That's hot.
All right, we have'll take a break.
And we're back and it's time for a three.
Sure, Scott, true words were never spoken.
It's three to time, three to time is where we play a game
and the time to do it is now.
And what happens is if you want to send us a game to play a parlor game,
a game you play in the car,
simply send it to us at freedom USA at gmail.com.
That's email for you.
It's so easy.
It's so easy.
So we got this one submitted by the mysterious Marissa Marissa.
Wow. No last name like Cher.
This is called Out of 10.
One player is the guesser while remaining players
agree on a number from one to 10.
The guesser asks categories, the other's answer
with an item corresponding to the chosen number
on a scale from one to 10,
one being the worst, 10 being the best.
The answers can be subjective in the personal opinion
of the person answering.
For example.
I tried to explain this game to you the other day.
Did you really?
Yeah.
When?
On Mike?
No, it was a game that I had like found on a blog.
A web blog.
Well, cause it's this blog that I follow
where they were talking about games played
at the dinner table and then this,
all these people were commenting and I saw this one.
This is very interesting.
I don't remember you saying this at all.
Great.
Well, I think we all were like, huh?
And then we were like, whatever, let's move on.
I don't quite understand it yet.
We do need to slow it down and explain it again.
For example, if the number is 10,
and the guesser gives the category films,
the person being asked should reply with a film
they consider a 10 out of 10.
Okay. After a few rounds, the guesser tries to reply with a film, they consider a 10 out of 10. Okay.
After a few rounds, the guesser tries to guess the number.
Okay.
So basically because we're going off of
how we know each other,
we're gonna say, oh, because Scott,
I know Scott loves that movie,
he must have the number 10.
Here's how we should score it, in my opinion.
You should, after we, after the two people
who know the number give their things, the person
should give their guess and they get a point for each time they guess incorrectly and whoever has
the lowest number at the end of this wins. Does that make sense? I wouldn't you get a point for
getting it correct? Because if it takes you four tries, how would we score that?
I see, okay.
Okay, all right.
So Lauren and I will be the people,
you're gonna be the guesser and Lauren and I
will be the people and we're gonna text each other
the number, is that what's happening?
So Lauren, I'm gonna-
And then do I come up with the category?
I, yeah.
So just you and me texting each other.
Yeah, so I'll text you the number, okay?
And I text you a number?
No.
Oh, it's the same number for both.
It's the same number.
I got it.
Okay, so we have our number.
Paul, you can come up with a category.
Let's say actors.
Actors in terms of how much we like them or?
In terms of how much I think they're good.
Well, I think this is what we think.
It's what we think because it's going off
of our subjective things.
So like we have a number.
So I'm trying to guess, I'm trying to guess the number.
You're trying to guess the number, yeah.
So when you say like how hot actors are.
I think it's a harder, like it should be more specific.
Like attractive actors.
And then we have a number.
Yeah, I don't want to do that.
I think it should be like a different,
not about, let's not judge a person.
Okay.
Just cause I don't want to say.
What about their cellulite?
Good catch.
Like Lorenzo Lanz.
I don't know. Fucking...
So broad.
Should we just do films? But I feel like you guys like...
Let's do films just to ease into it.
To let our beaks.
I'm guessing the number.
You're guessing the number. We're going to give you examples of what we think on a scale of 1 to 10 these films are.
Of how good they are.
Okay.
So then I throw out names of movies?
No, no, no, no.
We give you the name of the movie.
Okay.
According to the number that we picked.
Oh, okay.
And then you're trying to guess the number.
Okay.
Yeah.
I think I had a different one in mind.
Okay, do you have one?
Yeah, I have one.
Okay, I just need a second.
Okay, the Sandlot.
Don't guess yet,
because Lauren's gonna give you a first guess.
And then my answer is Batman and Robin.
And now you guess the number that we have agreed on
of what we think on a scale of one to 10 those films are.
Okay, one.
Incorrect.
Well, you're insane.
Now I don't know how to play this game.
Well, you've narrowed down one. But doesn't he get to Yeah. Well, we're now we do another category. Okay. Yeah
Another example. Yes another film
Scream for
Scream five.
Four.
Incorrect.
All right.
Fried green tomatoes. Hmm. Should I think of any movie I've ever seen?
Start at the beginning.
Start with, you know, Wings.
Hold on, I can't think of any movie.
That rocket.
The Land Before Time.
Land Before Time.
Wait, and yours was Fry Green Tomatoes?
Yeah.
Two.
Incorrect.
You've guessed one, Wait, and yours was fried green tomatoes? Two.
Incorrect. You've guessed one, two, and four.
Alright.
Do you guys know each other?
I'm Lauren.
I'm gonna say...
I'm going to say Jurassic world too, whatever that one was.
I'm going to say, um, I'm going to say an answer, which is going to sound like the words.
Don't give away future seasons of newcomers.
I'm going to go with Mask of the Phantasm.
Okay, Batman Mask of the Phantasm.
I've said one.
You've said two and you've said four.
Three.
Yes.
You got it, Paul.
Jesus Christ.
Okay, okay, okay.
Let's do it again.
I want to do the category and you two do the number.
Okay, Paul, do you want to text me the number that you agree on?
Yeah, I do.
I do.
I do.
Okay.
This is exciting.
What's our category going to be? Well, I'm going to do a different category each time so I can kind of try to get.
OK, let's try that version.
A different range of how we're OK. Getting the information.
OK, we have our number. OK. Candy bar.
Candy bar. OK.
Heath.
Score. One. Keith.
Score.
One. Incorrect.
Okay, those both suck.
Okay.
It's my personal opine.
Okay.
But they're not the worst thing
that you've ever had in your mouth.
Well, that's disgusting.
Yeah.
I would say, okay, the next category is sitcoms.
Sitcoms.
Sitcoms.
Why are we now changing kind of?
Because I wanna have a range.
She wants to be able to narrow it down.
I wanna be able to go, okay, cause I-
Okay.
You see what I'm saying? We can go, that was our practice room. We can go back to you at the end. No, no, okay, no, no be able to narrow it down. I wanna be able to go, okay, cause I- Okay. You see what I'm saying?
We can go, we can, that was our practice room.
We can go back to you at the end of the creative time.
No, no, no, it's fine.
I'm just seeing if I like this version.
Yes, I understand.
Okay, I'll go with,
I'll go with,
I'll go with,
what I will go with is Archie Bunker's place.
Wow.
I'm going to go with wings.
Two.
Incorrect.
Oh my God.
Okay.
The next category is types of hats.
Types of hats.
Like the fedoras, the beanie.
Five.
Incorrect.
Fuck this.
Well, because a beanie is very different from a fedora, whatever.
Okay, so.
We're different people.
I know, I know, I know, I know.
You would never wear one.
We're individuals. You don't feel I know, I know, I know.
You would never wear one.
We're individuals.
You don't feel like you've been talking
to one person this entire time.
I do, but.
Wait, which one I would never wear?
A beanie.
No, I wear them, I don't wear them out that much,
but I wear them around the house.
Like an Ebenezer Scrooge nightcap.
Okay, so you're different though.
I get chilly at night.
Although you didn't say Ebenezer Scrooge nightcap.
That is a hat.
I wear it like that.
Mode of transportation.
Okay.
Tiny car.
Rentable scooter.
Three.
Incorrect.
Here's the thing that I realized.
It's a scale of one to ten.
So there's still so much room for things to be just okay.
Should we do one to five?
No.
No.
You should get better at this.
Okay.
My next category is... By the way, we're not telling you what you guessed
anymore. So if you reguess something, you ask on you vacation spot, vacation spot.
I'll go with like a ranch in Montana.
I'll go with Palm Springs.
Four.
Incorrect.
I hate this game.
Oh.
Are you sad you decided to come up with different categories?
I'm sad that I...
That you're here and I'm alive.
Yeah, I was gonna say that, but I don't wanna say it.
Okay, um...
Fast food restaurants.
Um, okay.
Carl's Jr.
That's what I was gonna say.
So it's like a Carl's Jr.
and it's like a Fedora.
And it's like a Heath Bar.
And it's like Montana Ranch.
What does that say to you?
Six.
Yes. Correct.
You got it.
Those are all ones, babe.
For you, for you.
I know, that's the subjective game.
It's not about how well you know yourself.
I don't want to go to a ranch in Montana.
Why not?
I don't, what am I gonna do there?
You don't want to search for Curly's gold?
You left it there.
Okay, let's do it again.
Find your smile.
So now, whose turn is it?
Mine. So, Lauren, you text the number to Paul.
Please do it.
Please. Please.
Fucking waiting, Jesus Christ.
Sorry, I'm opening the app. Looking for your name. Fucking waiting, Jesus Christ. I'm opening the app.
Looking for your name.
Looking for your name.
Mmm, okay.
Okay.
High school classes.
Like the actual periods?
Yeah, like a course you would take in high school.
Not like the grade, okay.
Yeah.
English.
History.
Seven.
No.
Okay.
Body parts on your body.
Um, fingers. Eyes. Eight. No. Okay. Interested in your answer.
Me too. Musical instruments that you enjoy listening to. Oh wow, okay.
Cello.
Guitar.
Nine. Yes. Yes!
You think your fingers are a nine?
Yeah, I think eyes are number one.
What?
Yeah.
Eyes are a 10?
Eyes are a 10, yeah.
Eyes are a 10.
Oh.
And so you would least wanna lose your eyes
than your fingers.
I would not want to lose my fingers.
I was doing it based on judging yourself.
Oh, like what you like about yourself?
That's perfectly.
So it's like my eyes are one of my top like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,
like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,
like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,
like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, Um, if you want to send us a three-cher, you can do it at freedomusa at gmail.com.
And you know what? You can also leave us a voice message, especially if you're Jonathan Libnicki.
Yeah.
Go to hagclaims8.com and leave us a voice message. If you would like to hear, um,
us answer those, uh,
us answer those is what I was going to say. Thank you, Scott.
Those are our three medium episodes. We do them every two weeks,
every two weeks, mini episodes where we answer your voicemail,
answer your voicemail, prompts a conversation and we have fun.
And we do those, uh, every couple of weeks on CBB world,
as well as at this, uh,
Apple podcast thing you can subscribe to podcast premium.
Lemonada has all the details of that.
Apple podcast premium.
Ask her.
Yeah, and you can hear ad free episodes of CBB World.
And then also on Tuesday, if you want to hear,
if you don't want to bother with CBB World,
I understand that where all of our previous episodes are.
We're all sensitive people.
Yeah, we're all sensitive people.
What's that?
With so much to get.
You can hear, we re-release our old episodes on Tuesdays.
That's called Three Visiting.
Three Visiting on the Twos.
And you can hear those just if you are a subscriber to our.
Just a regular old dum-dum.
And then Paul and I are gonna be, in a couple of weeks,
we're gonna be on tour with CBB.
Oh my God.
That's bananas.
I'm also on tour with Varietopia.
What are the dates? Do you want to say some dates? We don't want to say dates yet but to start.
We don't want to jinx it. The CBB comedy bang bang tour kicks off in earnest in a couple of weeks
in June. And yes earnest will be there. Yes. Ernest goes to tour. Each city. We're filming
an entire earnest movie. Yeah. In every city. That's gonna be exhausting. Don't you think we
have one day to do it?
Well, that's the challenge.
And then we have to do the show at night.
Yeah.
God damn.
We're gonna do some of it during the show.
We shouldn't have agreed to do this.
Wait, it was our idea.
They're paying you $8 million.
$8 million?
$8 million.
You get $8 million.
Special thanks to Jess McKenna.
We really appreciate hearing that. That was delightful. I always love when she sings. Honestly,
I've, I've made her do that before. That same song. Yeah. Cause I like it.
Should we have her play us out? Yeah. Sure. Why not? All right. And now to
play us out. What the fuck does that mean to play us out? Who are you talking
to right now? Remember Bill O'Reilly? Oh, got it. He didn't know what play us
out meant.
What a weirdo.
And he had a huge meltdown.
Fuck it, we'll do it live.
All right, here we go.
So thanks for listening everybody.
We'll be back next week.
We love you and thank you to C&H Pure Cane Sugar.
C&H, C&H, my mom uses it to make her cakes.
It makes the greatest cookies, snacks, and candy.
They're Dan, Dan, Dandy.
Island kids all love the cane.
It grows so clean and sweet.
They eat it when it's freshly cut.
And then that's quite a treat.
Neat.
Touched by sun, kissed by rain.
C and H comes from the sugar cane.
It makes the greatest cookies, snacks, and candy
in the bright pink package.
Bye.
["The Best of Me"]
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