Threedom - Third Time Shame on the Charm

Episode Date: September 7, 2023

Lauren, Paul and Scott talk about returning lost dogs, kid birthday parties and play some more Threevia. Follow us on social media @threedomusa. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail]. Leave us a voicemail at 424-252-4678 (HAG-CLAIMS-8).

3-0! I love getting in early 3-0! You can't do that every time! 3-0! 3-0! You're so early early! It's great! 3-0!

You spoke up from a luxurious nap 3-0 in the morning, 3-0 in the evening, 3-0 in the soap hotel What's the reason? Yeah, I eat six. What after evening? What is the difference between supper and dinner? Supper, I think, used to be what people called lunch. No.

There's no, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. I think it varies from place to place, actually. They used to call it Lupper. It's an evening meal, typically a light or informal one. Ooh, okay, so I can invite people over for a supper party.

Yeah, you could sit on the floor. Do you say supper party? A supper party. A supper party. I'm my first supper party. Let's have a party. I would have invited someone to a supper party. I thought you said supper party.

And they brought their slew of mag and I'm like, oh my god, what if you did that? You're so embarrassing right now. But let's all get in your sleeping bag. Well, sure. You show up in pajamas with a sleeping bag and everyone is dressed to that long. No, they wouldn't be dressed up because it's a supper. It's in its formal.

Short sleeves. Yeah, short sleeves. Short pants. Yeah, short pants. Short hair. Don't care. You have to get your hair short if you're planning to a separate party. That's right. It's part of the rules. I'm having a lunch party. I'm at a lunch party. You know what? After having Holly's birthday

party, which was like a morning time. This is embarrassing. Who's Holly again? Okay, she's my kid. After having, we had a birthday from 10 to one. Or yeah, and it involved bagels and fruit and whatnot. And I was like, and donuts. And I was like, this, I would do this with friends. Like, morning, get together, and have bagels. Could we add some like eggs and bacon? You wanna do a whole breakfast.

You wanna do the thing where you cook breakfast for everyone. I could bring it. Like, they're the panda. I wanna do motel breakfast. You remember? You remember? That's right. Like, they're the panda. I want to do motel breakfast. You remember. That's right. I want to do motel breakfast.

Yes, cereal bar. Disgusting eggs. Fruit loops and then sausage patty that tastes like a shoe. Fruit loops and a plastic jar or bowl. Fruit loops and a plastic jar. I was singing a pretty pedal, dude know, like in a hotel in Arizona a Few years back in the wire. They had a pancake. Oh Make your own pancakes. Oh, you know what? I didn't know a hotel like that and that was a relief. I'm gonna also make your own waffles

I but I don't want to I know I know I don't I don't even want somebody else to make them for me Right, I'm past I'm or Waffle A. Really? No pancakes or waffles ever again? It makes me feel so bad. Yeah, I'm so heavy. It is heavy, but I love pancakes. I love crepes. What about half a pancake?

No, you're talking. Is that allowed? I don't think so. I know they're round. I know. What do you feel about pancakes for the table? What if I ate out the middle of the pancake? Have you eaten it out?

Have you just ate it? Yeah, Yeah, I probably say that. I'm not ashamed. Wait, what do you feel up? You're not a soprano. What if I ate it? What do you pancake for the table when you're out for breakfast? pancake for the table? Yeah, everyone gets it over there one time. Silver dollar pancake. One big ass. One stack and I Want to grab a couple bites now I'm on the record with I don't like to go out for breakfast. Yeah, I want to Period, I want to you're in the congressional record. Yeah, yeah, I'm in the library of Congress I wrote a book about it very slow volume. It's only two pages very big But yeah, I like to I I like to eat right away. And the thing I hate is like, if you're traveling with people

and they say, oh, we have to go to this breakfast place. And then you all schlep over there. I wait in line for an hour. Oh, I don't want to wait in line for breakfast. No, dear. Well, you'll wait in line for lunch. Oh, I'll wait live, hold on. No, I really won't wait in line for any meal at this point.

I figured out. I figured out by the way, we're doing now. If you're waiting for a reservation, that's different. It's different because it's not a line. Yeah. You're in the restaurant. They're like, would you like to go over the bar and get shit? That's fine. It's a bit of a shrunk.

So if you go in and wait, you can't go over to the bar. If you go in and wait, you can't go over the bar.. If you go in and wait, you can't go over the bar. What? Anyway, I figured out by the way the other day why we were talking about why we eat fast. Yeah, I think it's because I'm always eating right before I have to do something like today. That is so shabbling it into my mouth going, fuck, they're gonna be here, fuck, they're gonna be here. Now you guys were 12 minutes late.

Yeah, you had to take it my time. We were all like six. It was literally six minutes. It was literally six minutes. It looked like I looked at my clock. Yeah. Oh, but you're over those guys where 10 minutes early is on time. Exactly. Yeah. On time is late. Mm-hmm. But see, you live here. And so you're always on time. Not really. I'm always, but that's what I mean. I'm always shoveling food in my face going like, oh, no, the guests are going gonna be here. I gotta get, because I got something thrown in me. I had to walk the dogs today unscheduled.

And so, but actually they walk at what time? Uh, 11 or so? Then when there are bells and bladder are full. Yes. Yes. And then this time it was a delayed reaction. No, we cool up and I switched.

Oh, she has the more bodies? Yes. Oh, are you cool up? Oh, that's why this is going so well. Oh, come on. Oh, come on. Oh, come on. I didn't make a boob joke.

Huh? Do you miss your boobs? Do you miss them? No, he misses mine. Okay, I'm confused. He has, yeah, he misses mine. Okay, I'm confused. Well, now he has, he has, yeah, he has mine. So he must be happy, I guess. Oh, guys, I, I have a new, uh, this is one of Scott's classic.

Oh, guys, okay, time for an old guys. Like this is a Lauren stoppicks. I have a new, uh, uh, found time for no guys. Is this a Lauren's topics? I have a new found dog story. Wow. Okay, so previously on three, I've had three. Previously on three, I've had three experiences finding lost dogs. None of them satisfying.

The first one. By the way, this is the, I feel like this is the first time you're here. I've never heard of you saving a dog. Saving. Okay. I'll let me remind you of the three times and you'll remember. Okay. So I've heard of it.

You're cowardice in the face of lost dogs. You see a lost dog. What are you doing here? Where could it be? Where's your odor? So the first time I was driving with Kool-Up, we saw a dog by the side of the road, got out of the car, picked it up. There was a phone number, no one answered, I left a message,

texted as well. I love this, so I'm going to go. No one never answered. I said, we're over here, you know, I gave the cross-street, so I said, we're here. I'm pretending to remember this now. About 10 minutes later, a guy's walking down the street on the phone, and in the middle of a conversation, and he kind of like raises his arm, and I'm like, is he waving to, this can't be the guy waving to us, he's on the phone. Mm-hmm.

We, but I get out of the car going like, are you, he grabs the dog, never gets off the phone. That's right. Does a 180 just walks away? That's completely insane. Yeah. So not say thank you. Either a fucking asshole or a dog thief.

My, I, those are your options. To be charitable, I feel like he was a fucking asshole. I feel like the dog must get out all the time or something. Yeah, but does it mean you don't know that? I know, and I was way, and by the way, we were on our way to something. And then I like you were in black tie. You could just let the dog go and it could have been hit by a car. It's true. But I do.

But I think we all understand that frustration of like that over takes you where it's like you're so upset with the object of the frustration, the dog. Yeah. Then you forget common manners. Exactly. Yeah. That you forget, common manners. Exactly. Yeah. That's how I felt. Sure. Or he was just a total fucking lunatic.

So then the next two times were the same dog. And that's the little girls. And that was the little girls. The little girls. And the dog is not that far, like three houses away, but just kind of like standing there frightened looking. And I found the dog, I took it up to the door and they were just like, what?

Oh, get in here, you know, just kind of mad at the dog. And like, and kind of gave me a cursory like, thanks, just like, in the midst of like the mom going, I told you not to let the dog, you know, I was just like I don't bother okay, and then it happened twice. I was like third time Shame on this was be the charm. Yeah, but they moved the car. They moved away. So I'll never know Third time shame on the charm fourth time charm on the shame So Fourth time charm on the shame So okay, do be well, please do be So this time I get a text from cool up and it says can you come upstairs and

I go upstairs and and there is a little tiny dog just just shaking like a leaf in our bush up there right by where you guys enter Time sure that. Bread box sized. That's great. That can, you know, like a tiny bread box. In a restaurant. In a restaurant.

Bread box in a restaurant. You know, one that has like, I know I know it's serious. So little tiny dog is just shaking, shaking, shaking. Cool up is trying to coax it out, but it won't come out because too afraid. We, I sort of get on the other side and we're blocking it, but neither of us can reach and just too afraid to come out. I swap with cool up and I, and she's like, it's going to bite you, it's going to bite you. I go, no, I think it's okay. And I grab the collar and it's okay. And

I, and we got a leash, I put it on the leash. And after it's on the leash, it's like fine. This is all I ever wanted. Oh, thank God, I'm controlled by man. What kind of? I don't know, I'm not great. I'm not great at breeds. Yeah, probably, but I will just say moths,

so I don't have to specify. Moth is my favorite breed. I love it. I love a moth. I love a moth. So I call there a moth. But it's my favorite breed. I love it. I love them. I love them. So I call there. You have a bumper sticker.

You have a bumper sticker. Type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type,

type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type, like, hi, do you have a dog named Piper? And you? Yes! And I'm like, oh, we have her. How many pieces is the dog usually? Why? I'm just kidding.

Why? I'm like, we have her. Everything's okay. She's just burst into tears. She's in Hawaii where the fires are on vacation and has been like scrambling trying to get a flight back like these both of these things happen at the same time. Oh my god. This dog ran away from the fires from Hawaii. It has that good of sense. It's paddled on the boat. Oh, I thought it was here,

but it got scared of the fires there. No, no,. And what if a dog cast away had like a tennis ball that was its Wilson? That's proportionately smaller. Yeah. And it just kind of constantly chased it and finally chased it off the island. And what if it gave it gave up on the ball? What if a dog gave birth to a ball? Oh my God. It's a movie.

It was a golf ball and it talked. And it said Tiger Woods is my dad. So Tiger Woods had sex with a dog. Yeah. The dog gave birth to a golf ball. That makes sense. His seam at this point is golf balls. It's as big as golf. No, it's golf T's and it makes golf balls. That's like if you gave her to a big sperm. He has high teeth. He has high teeth. High tiger woods. High teeth. High teeth time.

High teeth time. Anyway, so she, yes, the dog was with her friend, got away at the same time. The fire started happening. And the friend came within like three minutes. And the dog had been missing for 24 hours or so. Like all night. The last spotting of it was some construction people saw it

being chased by coyotes. Jesus, that was ours beforehand. Had a arrowing adventure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, harrowing, ribsy-like adventure. But who are these? How do we know this? How did they tell? Because construction people saw this happen.

Going up and down the streets, going, have you seen this dog? Have you seen this dog and some construction workers were like, oh yeah, we saw it just up down the street from us. So that woman was definitely very scared that her dog was eaten? Yes, exactly.

Eat now, like Paul said. Oh my God. Like a big pancake? Out of the center, out of the center. Like a big pancake. Yeah. And then a friend of ours had, we found, had Instagram posted about the dog.

So it was someone that we, Oh, I kept seeing posts about this dog. Probably not the same one. Oh, okay, different dog. But anyway, so it was, and they were very grateful and it was, it was one of, you know, it's what you want out of this experience of like, you know, you take the time.

Someone cares. Take the time, yeah, someone cares about this dog. Yeah. Yeah. Can I tell you, this has reminded me. I have had three experiences of a dog leading me to its house Because it got out of the house and couldn't get back in wow and you said hair point lead me to your house It was show me where your mommy lives show me where your mommy lives

Shake will your mom again The dog in each instance the dog came up to me and then started to like try to lead me somewhere. And like like it was kind of going, Hey, over here. Like how like how a dog will be like, it want you to get a ball that's under the couch. Like, yeah, it would like, it would like kind of come up to me and like put its legs up on my legs and then start walking and then turn back and look at me like did the chat write?

And we did the chat chat quick step. Like on that one commercial where's the dog dance? Yeah, that's a lot of them. And not the one I'm thinking of, it's only one. It's only one commercial. The one I'm thinking of is only one commercial. The only thing I'm thinking of one, I'm thinking of a bun tray. I'm thinking of a multi-verse of commercial.

I'm just thinking of one. I'm thinking of a bun tree. I think of a multiverse of commercials. I'm just thinking of the idea of a commercial. I'm thinking of a golden retriever that is on a time legs doing like a, I'm thinking of a black and white dog. That's like on a time legs doing kind of like, to the left now y'all, one hop this time, two hops this time.

Merengue dancing golden retriever. That's really great. No, that's just a video. It's not a commercial. Oh, it's just a dog. That's just a dog that can do that. It's not interesting. That's just a sentient dog who learned how to dance human style.

And where's outfits and not interesting? It's not selling anything. He's just doing it for these love. If it's not for for breeze, I don't want to hear it. And there was one, so the first time it happened was like a little dog who let me back to its house and then I knocked on the door and I'm gonna take the house now That's what you said

Yeah, I just played I just played my Great thing this story. It's a tape. I just played a tape. You've been taping Paul this entire time. I have all doorbell footage accessible to me. All to go. I'll go to make. And the owner was like, oh my god. What did you, how did you get out? And thank you so much. I'm all the second time bigger dog who was very enthusiastic. Let me back. And then he was just a maniac. Here's my question.

Why don't they just go back? Because they can't get in the back. They're low cuter. Yes, they want to get, they want to cushion because of the confrontation with the owner. Yeah, yeah, they're like, you're not going to fear. I can yell at me for him, right? It's a stranger.

Um, and then the third time with a dog that lived right next to us, who was coming up to me and then walking away and looking at me and I'm like, what is your problem? Like, the gate was open, like the tiniest little bit. Oh, I needed the gate dog. It's like, I can't get through there. Aww. I feel like I've told this story, but there was one time where Mike and I saw the most like cartoonish looking dog where like

it had two eyes going in separate directions like a tongue hanging out. He was wearing a hat and a tie. It looked insane and it was just sitting there and like I just was like what's going on with this dog it looks bananas. Are we in the Sunday for some sort of thing? And we were like are we supposed to do something about this? And we were like. Are you approach all problems?

We like walk to Or anything you see. We're not from the courts. We're not this plan. Are we supposed to do anything about this? We came back and it was gone and we're like, do we just make that up? Like it felt so insane. I've never seen a dog that looked like that in my life.

And you've never seen it in my life. I never saw it again. It was just gone and I was like, well. Sounds like a hallucination. It was. Were you tripping? I was tripping balls. I forgot. But was tripping. I was I was tripping balls. I forgot. But

makes a two. Mike's a two. So my side to his also to be yeah and maybe he just sucks as describing it. It's funny that when you see a cat wandering around you're like who cares. But if you see a dog wandering around like you must emerge. I do feel like I think the cat knows what it's doing. Like I'm like either you're somebody's cat or, but my cat has gotten my cat to rest in peace. It got loose a handful of times. I had a friend who's cat came back after three months.

That's, it's too long. Yeah, that is too long. It's kind of like, that is always wild to me. My cat a dog that ran away for like, it was then like taking another family and then like came back and it was like a year later. How did it fall this way back?

I got loose from them and then came back to there. I don't live with you. How did the family, the story's not adding up. It's not, because I'm telling it badly. It's not adding up. Why are you lying? Their dog ran away, it was gone for many, many months years. I don't know, and it was taken by their family,

and they found out later that it was. How did they find out about the family? Let me just get Mike on the horn and we'll clear it up. I know. Okay, so it has. Hi, Mike. Hi, Mike. Hey, it's Mike.

Hey, my. Hey, Mike. Hi, Mike. Good to hear. Okay, I asked you not to do. Hey, polyws. That's better. Hey, what's up?

Hey, Laura, baby. I love you. I love you. Let's talk later So Mike this talk story talk later So Lauren was trying to tell the story and she was failing miserably about this dog Okay, you had that ran away Got taken by another friend. We then you got the dog back. How did this all happen? Okay, so I left the gate open. Okay, so it's on you

Yeah, I'm the gate guy in the family. And you sailed at your job? Yeah, so one thing I had to do all day and I was asleep at the switch. All day, okay. I was a gate guy. And I was a kid. Yeah, I was a kid.

I was three years old. He tried to get the gate. And this dog gets away and lives with another family for months and months and months. Right. And we had put up flyers everywhere like if you've seen this dog. You said science. Yeah well I mean what's the difference between a sign of a flyer really? I mean we wanted it to be a sign but we only had flyer material paper paper exactly classic flyer. Yeah. So what?

Well, it's really long for colors. Four colors. Yeah. But we could mix them together to make purple and all sorts of stuff. Oh, great. So within the rules of those four colors, you could mix them together to create other colors. Oh, yeah, but nothing nothing special like pinks or anything like that. No, no, it purple is not special pink is special pink You need dad white too. Barbie. Hi Barbie. So I can Huh? Oh you talk it though. Some kind of Ken. Yeah I'll take up on him What he did the Billy Joel heart attack I'll take up on him. Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr And hello, speaking of Samantha. Oh, yeah. Lauren, I was listening to the old, uh, with special guest Lauren Lapkas, yeah, where you, you and the wild horses do. Oh, yeah, that

was a fun section of the city. It's so funny. That was fun. Thanks. Really funny. How are you accessing that? I just still had it on my phone. Nice. I kept a few episodes. That's nice. Yeah, I'm going to get, at some point, get some backup of my old Patreon. Yeah, you got to do it. I know I'm waiting to get the files, actually.

I'm waiting for some files myself. He he he he. Waiting for files. Wait for the files. Do you have any compliments for me, Paul? Yes, Scott. I, uh, I run the room. I love being in this room. It's what is that huge stack of art books that are all sealed They're seal

Sealed sealed biographies. Yeah What does that mean behind the scars seal wrote a biography of some seals? No, really what is it their Their books. But why are they all new? Because they're new. Why did you get them? Because I bought them. You see you bought a bunch of art books. I'm curious. Are they art books? Are they graphic novel collection? There's one called none of your fucking business. You know, you're obviously surrounded. You should You're a privacy surround your hobbies and it's a day. All right, I'll stop. I'll stop right now. Everything's fine.

Everything's fine. Everything's fine. What'd you guys do this weekend? Oh God. What did I do? I was in Portland, Oregon. I did a varietopia up there. It was great. Had a wonderful time. The hotel ran out of hot water.

What? Oh no. What? Guy went door to door. Door to door. Saying, hey, our boiler just broke. That's soft. Yeah.

And it was like, I took a cold shower. Yeah, you guys, I'm just gonna do it. And it's hot. There was, I felt like there was enough tiny residual warm water. Right. Luckily, it was hot as fuck as well, outside. Yeah. Right.

So I made it through and it was relatively painless, but it's not getting in there. It was also one of those showers where the shower head is fixed. Like you can't adjust it. Yeah. So there's no way to not get in freezing cold. Yeah. There's no way to like turn it to the side a little bit. Yeah. Have it just. Yeah. But I heard an interesting thing in the airport.

What's that? How do I way, fucking brick? I was so fascinated by it. I thought, how interesting. There was a father and two kids walking through the airport. They were behind me. And I heard the little girls say, what happened to Henry? And the father said, what happened to Henry?

Well, he grew five inches. He got a table saw and he opened his own business. So what? Group five inches. Okay, let's break this down. So this was a child who somehow acquired a table saw. It's an open business. Yeah. I don't know. Like Encyclopedia Brown, like table sawing for grade school kids. Maybe it was a guy

who got that surgery, where he got taller. Maybe, but I wouldn't say, to be, if I were a father, I would not explain it to my child as he grew five inches. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to give them unrealistic expectations. Yeah, that one you're like 40, you just grow five inches. Yeah. So maybe he didn't grow in height. He something else grew in five inches. Like what? Hair. His hair is five inches longer.

Say, say you take the back, you go backwards and a guy who, say you just, you, who used to work with the father in their table shop business or remember. Okay. So it's a guy he used to work with. Why would he grow five inches? And why is that necessary to the story? Wait, wait, wait, how did taking that back? Going to be going with the last the last piece of information first. In other words,

like he he opened his own business. Oh, this is a guy that that the father used to work with. Okay, so then the previous you're saying, why did he open with he grew five inches? Yeah, like what are how are those connected? It is the most interesting thing. I would just leave it at that. Right. Oh, he grew five inches. Daddy, is that the end of his day? I would say like, I would say he grew five inches. But I think there was something that needed to be explained

about the rest of that. 100% but the the daughters seem to have no further questions. She was fine with it. Yeah. He grew five inches, got a table saw and opened a business. If you know, that's just the update from when he was eight. Please let us know.

He saw him when he was 28. We haven't seen him in 20 years. What happened? Well, he grew five inches. He got a table saw and opened a business. It's all you need to know. I mean, this child was small. So how old could Henry have been?

Yeah. That the child would remember who Henry was, right? Would inquire whatever happened to him. What happened have been? Yeah. That the child would remember who Henry was, would inquire whatever happened to him. What happened to him? Yeah. This feels like, Also, what's the business that you open with just a table saw?

I don't know. Dables saw here? What if it's a children's book? What if it is a boring children's book? The guy who bought one table saw. No, it's about like a little tiny little guy. And it's like he has no, and he has no prospects. And then the story ends and then the daughter goes,

whatever happened to Henry. Well, he ended up growing five inches. Henry? He got a table saw and he opened a business. He got a table saw and he opened his own business. Whatever happened and no, no like Henry who? Oh no, this dad knew exactly who Henry was. Dad knew who Henry was. He knew what Heidi used to be and what Heidi is now. Maybe it was her invisible friend she stopped checking in on that would be great. I like she stopped checking the dance

Don't see. Oh, yeah, we still like out. What's up? You guys don't hang out. It doesn't mean I can I have to keep this up now. Jesus So that's what I was the most interesting part of the weekend for you. I Didn't say that the show the show was a lot of fun, right? Really good time doing it But it pales in comparison to the Henry story. Well, something that's haunted me ever since yeah Like Henry himself. Oh, no I can see right now. He's continues to grow Hands as a buzzer. Oh, right Oh no, he's right behind. I can see you right now. He's continues to grow.

And as a buzzer, right? I think my most interesting thing is that I went to a two-year-old's birthday party. And it was very nice. And the cake looked like a recycling bin full of trash, because the kid loves trash. Kid loves trash. I love shit like that. That reminds me of my nephew. It used to, it reminds me of my trash can.

It's full of trash. And it's trash day. My nephew used to hang out with, Sky. No, not guys. No different one. Different nephew. Used to hang out with my,

You don't often talk about a different nephew. Second tier nephew. Second tier, yeah. Definitely below, the like fourth on the call sheet. Definitely below, definitely below. Definitely below. Definitely low chi.

Was hanging out with my dad for a while, like they would, you know, he would watch him. And they's grand papal. They went to the dump one day. And they still talk about it. He came back saying like, I want to work at the dump and they never forgave my father. But that's so cute.

I'm going to work at the dump. And little kids really love trash, like not all of them, but a lot of, a lot of little kids really get excited about the garbage. Right. Do you think that's why Oscar is so grouchy? Because kids are always trying to get into kids and it's like, I wish kids were not so interested in my life. That should be part of his thing.

Yeah. What I don't like it. What ask you the grouch helped you count? Or was he just a guy who was like irritated? He would teach you about grouching. No, the count is the count. Sure. But you know how almost everything in Sesame Street has to have some sort of lesson

attached to it. His was like, don't talk to assholes or something. Yeah. If someone lives in a trash can, leave him alone. So I guess it was just like, it was learning how to deal with things that make you grouchy or, yeah, or deal with. I honestly don't know. I don't either. Maybe it was just like, hey, wouldn't it be funny, we just threw an asshole in there? Yeah, you gotta have someone who's not all sunshine and rainbows. I thought they were all assholes. The bet. No, Are you kidding me? Yeah. Big bird snuffle up against. This bird is great. Nice. Nice. People. The birds are a little more angry. I think he's

quicker to, he's quicker to do. Do you know why though? Because Bernie, Bernie, Bernie Sanders. So he's Bernie bros. Dolly Miela. No, but Bernie's couple name is Bernie. Yeah. That's their, that's their couple portmanteau. Yeah. Ernie is a fucking asshole. Yeah. Ernie is? Yes. He does stuff. Just really selfish. He's chaotic. He's like he's just a creature of whim Yeah, and it's frustrating to burn well like one time he's practicing the fucking trumpet at night when bird is trying to sleep Yeah, or are you sure it's at night though? Because I remember this it could have been during the day and bird was like taking a nap It's still you know what I mean? That's rude.

But how are you to know if your roommate is taking a nap if the roommate doesn't say like, by the way, I'm in my room taking a nap. How do we know that he didn't do that? They share a room, they have beds right next to each other. That's true. That's right, that's true. That's right.

So anytime he wants to play the trumpet, he's got a peak inside their bedroom and say like, I kind of think anybody who has a trumpet who lives with other people, check and see what's going on first, where he starts to play the trumpet, he's got a peak inside their bedroom and say, I kind of think anybody who has a trumpet lives with other people check and see what's going on first. We start to know that. Thanks. You're not going to you're not going to absolve Ernie in this in this situation.

Yeah. He's he's wrong. He's okay. Also, he didn't even stick with the trumpet. Yeah, you never seen play it again. Yeah. It's not like it's not like then cut to three years later. Yeah.

He's really good. Yeah. Someone I know had a neighbor in an apartment building who would say well same Okay, oh, there's more who would sing all the time And she's if she was a fantastic singer. Yeah, we have like an opera singer Yeah, I mean she was like a Broadway person or something But yeah, so but which I mean is ultimately pleasant I would say as far as loud singing goes But just at all hours of the day at night just like loud singing Does your neighbor also do that? No, she I mean she it was fine for like I I would never really get to upset about any kind of noise

Because it's you know one of the you know agreements that you make yeah when you're One of the four yes You'll be impeccable with your word. Be impeccable with your word. Other people make noise. Other people make noise. Be on time. And never, ever fall in love. Oh, I see a good one with your stuff.

I did three of those. Okay, you, you, you be impeccable with your word. You be impeccable. You were always on time. You made a lot of noise. What was it? Well, other people made noise. That's one of the rules. You other people made noise. You other people made noise. And then you didn't fall in love. I never fell in love in my life. I was a Riley, Riley, where I low Kylie song. Oh, which one? I never found, I can't see.

I never found, I can't see. I can't see the world, I can't see the world. I can't see the world, I can't see the van, I can't see the van, yeah. I can't see the van, yeah. But I never fell in love. D-d-d-d neighborhood who has a Rylow Kylie license plate like a vanity plate. Is it Rylow Kylie? That's a deep, the whole band. I mean, yeah, it's all in one car.

One guy in it was a salute your shorts, which was a classic show on Nickelodeon. I was kid. Wait, okay, so what's your name? My old band leader, she was a child. She was. True Beverly Hills, right? Child actor. Were they all child? I don't think so. I think he true Beverly Hills, right? Child actor. Were they all child before? I don't think so.

I think he was maybe even added to the band later. I'm not sure. I think all four of them were in it. Okay, but I don't think it was. I think about that. I'm not quite sure. They were just one about that. All that?

It's about that. It's about that. About that was the sequel to all that Yeah, I am about about that about that was all that but um about that what was there a show called a bag of chips No, but they're we should create a really missed opportunity. What if we create a Sentient bag of chips. Yes And it goes and visits the all that all set a bag of chips about a living bag of chips the shows called a bag of chips What are you looking at Lauren my water bottle cap has something in it a message?

Yeah, it's my god eat a pancake out you dumb hole Now it's just had a little bit of you know something in there I'm too excited about to see I would say oh like a had a little bit of something in there. I'm not too excited about to see, I would say. Oh, like a spider? It's a little bit of dirt or something. I'm thinking about something you said earlier that you celebrated Holly's birthday from 10 to one or something?

Her birthday party. Her birthday party. But it is funny to think that for a kid, their birthday is only that amount of time. Pretty much. They're not aware all day that it's their birthday. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For a long time.

Yeah, we're going to a birthday party next month that starts at 9.30 and I was like, I'm like, this is great. I'm like, yeah, nice 38. Yeah. I'm like, what what else are we doing? What time do you typically wake up? At least seven, if not earlier. Scott, same question. It has to be seven at the latest. Yeah. Seven at the latest. Yeah, because of what was that? But, uh, Because of like, nap schedules. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, this morning, oh, it was, it was my turn. She started babbling at three, which will open up. It's a little bit early. A bit early. She went back to sleep, but I couldn't get back to sleep. I finally got back to sleep at 5 and she woke up at 6.30.

More babbling, I presume? No, like this was true, like, I want to out for half hour. Yeah, I think the celebrating of birthday all day, that's fine, but lately people talking about their birthday week, their birthday months for children. Come on, your children, come on. This is my birthday month.

And they use it as an excuse for like terrible behavior as well. Yeah, well, because they can do whatever the fuck they want. Well, this is straight out of Vandipump rules. Really? Okay, it always tells us. Tell us. In the early, in the first few seasons. A cautionary table.

In the first few seasons, especially, there's a lot of episodes that center around people's birthdays and how important they are. And these people are in their late 20s. Well, this reminds me of like, it's the kind of thing and cool app had a few of these when we were dating. Of like, up till you're about 23 or something Like you're when you have your birthday. It's time to invite every single person you know to a restaurant I think I think past 23 right? I think that goes up until a few years before 30 really the people still do that

Yeah, and now it's like when people do that after 30 for just like a random birthday not like a milestone Yeah, what are you doing come on man? I don't want to go to the Eden day real people do that after 30 for just like a random birthday, not like a milestone. Yeah, what are you doing? Come on, man. I don't want to go to the Eden Daniel real. I didn't do like, I didn't do restaurants. It's always there. I know.

No, I would always, that place was really popular. I would do like bars, like just a bar, that's fine. And then I would, I, for my 30th, I had a big dinner with like, that's okay too, for a 30th. But like, but, but what I'm talking about are these ones where it's like invite every everyone you know to a sit-down dinner Not everyone knows each other. Yeah, oh that's a man No, and then everyone has to figure out how to split the check because everyone is broke because yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, my 30th birthday. I remember spent at the drawing room one of the most hideous bars in all of Los Angeles.

The drive, trying to picture it. It has a sign that says open at 7 a.m. Oh, yes. It's on Hillhurst. Right. Terrible place. Open at 7 a.m. It's a joke.

No, no. There's a great bar in San Luis Obispo that's open at 6 a.m. And everyone who would graduate from Cal State would like essentially, it would close it to an open at 6. And everyone would try to keep drinking past two on their own in order to have like the first beer at 6am on the night they graduated.

That's gross. Why? Yeah, I guess. I guess it's a curious thing to say. I guess when I'm asked like that, I don't know how to answer it. And so I guess there's nothing gross about it. Somebody once pointed out that there are people

that work night shifts that for them, they would go wind down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want that's interesting. You finish your sleep all day anyway. Yeah, you finish your work day at, you know, 7 a.m. Then you go to a bar. I mean, you're just completely flip-flopped.

Yeah. So wait, oh, so in New York, is it 4 a.m. that bars close? I can't recall. Oh my God. Some of them, I think, they open till 5. Can they say open till 5? But then, yeah, when, when, like, why is there even just one hour that something's closed? Good question, man.

You know what I mean? Everything should be open to anybody. Yes, every business. Every business. Everything needs a table saw business. Everything. Everything needs a table saw business. Everything needs a table saw business.

Everything needs a table saw business. Everything needs a table saw business. Everything needs a table saw business. Everything needs a table saw business. Everything needs a table saw business. Everything needs a table saw business. Everything needs a table saw business. Everything needs a table saw business.

Everything needs a table saw business. Everything needs a table saw business. Everything needs a table saw business. Everything needs a table saw business. Everything needs a table saw business. Everything needs a table saw business. Everything needs a table saw it. He knows what I'm saying. Cool. Cool. I was just listening to a podcast about Braille. The 99% invisible. I'm not very popular. I'm not a listener, but I now I'm a fan because we let's do a couple of episodes today. Great. And it was really interesting. I'm going to try to explain Braille, but I would work my end the episode. I think I get it. No, you don't know.

It's a, it's bumps, right? It's bumps. There's a history that those bumps my guys. Oh, don't want to hear it. Oh, okay. I'm just glad the bumps are there. It's, I don't want to know how the bumps are made. It started as acne, right?

Yeah. Realty recap. Yeah, though, really quick. The reading on your face that you're disgusting. Real had a recap. I was on bitch sash. What? And you did another podcast. We agreed we were going to appear in any of the podcasts. You know what? Drive our numbers up. All right. But I, uh, I casually brought up welcome to Plathville, a reality show on TLC.

And neither of them had seen it, KC Wilson and Daniel Schneider. And that set them all fun to think where they basically realized how amazing the show is. Now they're doing a podcast all about it, which I think people should check out if you like to show. Is it a sister wife type of show? It's a family in Macon, Georgia. No, it's less come.

It's Cairo, but it's spelled the Cairo. Wow, Georgia. Cairo, it's really small town. And it's, and the family is very sheltered and religious, but then the kids, you're basically catching this family where like the kids are getting to be teens and some of them are venturing into the world. And some are, you see how naive they are

and then you see some of them trying to be a little bad and then one of them still really religious, like praising a closet for all of them. And that is- Well, it's the hand movement you were doing. You were like whipping? Just sort of, so she was doing it there. And then over time, you see that the parents then get divorced,

which is like in the tapping more recently, and it's so insane. And now the dad went from being this sort of like, Babadook figure, you know what like Babadook figure know what what? Who's the tall guy? Who's the tall guy? Shane in the basement, where's the top at? Who's the?

From it follows? I can't I think of the like I can't think of Who's the tall guy? Lurch? Wishmaster? No, it's a scary thing for his spaghetti. Fantastic guy?

The scary thing for the spaghetti What's the creepy pasta? Oh Kevin the murder The one that I've referenced so many times and I can't think of it for some reason It's really really tall the slender Who's the tall slender guy from like slender man vibes, and he's like really creepy and so he's smiling. So then now he's like buff as hell. And it's like kind of hilarious.

So I have to catch up, because they're all more caught up than I am now. So remember when that happened to John and Kate plus a guy, and he started wearing Ed Hardy everywhere. Yeah. Yeah. Oh man. Anyway, so it's a fun show.

If anyone's looking for something crazy to binge, yeah. All right, if you're looking for something crazy to binge, that is Lauren's Wets. That's my wreck. Mid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a-bid-a like this guy. Yeah, I'm curious what he's up to. To get buff. Where is he now? I heard he grew five inches. I heard he got a tail saw in a whole business. All right, we have to say good. We're back.

Guess what? That's what? Shit. Yeah. I didn't think you would guess it. I'm sorry. Also chicken butt. That?

Hmm. I didn't see that coming. Yeah. Sorry. Who was the origin of that? Guess what chicken butt? I think it's just funny because it rhymes. Fucking stupid.

It's insane. I mean. I hate children. Yeah. They can't do comedy. That- you don't think what's up chicken butt is funny? It's not what's up chicken butt. That is funny. Okay.

It's guess what? Chicken butt. I just- I don't know why I just- That's not funny. What's up chicken butt. What's up? If somebody says what's up and you say what's up chicken butt, that's funny. That's so funny. Guess what? What's up and you say what's up chicken butt, that's funny. That's so funny. Guess what?

What's up? No. That's funny. That's funny. What's up? Guess what? What? Chicken butt.

No. Yeah. Disagree. Funny. No. Disagree. Honestly, one of the funniest things I've ever freaking heard. Alright, we got some more three-view.

It's time for a three-ture. If you want to submit a three-year. If you want to submit a three-year, write to us at threedomusa.gmail.com. Yeah, just do it. Just like throw caution to the wind. Yeah, live out loud. Tell your family you're off the grid for three hours.

Do this. Does everybody have the three-year questions? Oh, no. Where are they? Wait, we have to do something with that? If you look at the link where it says, you scroll down, it says new three-via, then there is a link to the specific questions.

There's a link that says new three-via. What pages three-via on? On the link with all the features. Got it. Got it. Got it. Got it. Three-via docs here. Those are your docs. Yes.

And then it'll say Lauren's questions. So we can't look at those, Scott and I can't look at those questions. Paul's questions. Okay. I can't. You guys can't look. Scott's questions. Lauren and I can't look.

Is it a link in the email or it's a link in the document that you? It's a link in the document. Is it down to bottom or it's where it's included in the paragraph about three page one two three four you know what I'm gonna go to pitch for F yeah oh he's doing it there you go three via there it is that sound like a drug I mean you can't okay first of all call this is a 28 pages document you can't just go like oh it's in the document and you know motherfucker do you go like, oh, it's in the document. Would you? Motherfucker, do you think I went down to page 27 in this document?

How would I know what you do with your own time? Because this is not my own time. This is three-dum-time. This is three-dum-time? It sucks. What? Paul! Three-dum-time is different than other time. I need you guys to get along

Did you know right you like to sit back there and watch right like yeah you're the one stirring all this shit up You're like the Joker. Okay, wait. Do we need paper? I? Don't think ink so I think the ink so How do we do it before I think people would just write down in their notes app. They're empty. Sure. I have a whiteboard here. Okay, great.

Okay. Okay. All right, shall I kick it off? Yes. I'm opening my PDF of questions. Oh, three of you docs here. Here it is. You just found it.

Yes. Are you ready? I had zero info. These are, these are trivia questions about me from things that have been said on the show. Okay. Okay. Question number one, Paul's mother was the receptionist for her brother's business. What music related service did the business provide? Right down your nose. We supposed to know any of this stuff. Yeah, because I know it. You do. Yeah. What music related service?

Okay. Yes. All right. Question two. Paul taught us all that the Glade Plugin's shingle plug it in plug it in is actually based on a real song called Rubbidin by Billy Crash Kratock. True or false? Nope. There's more. Kratock recorded a follow up to Rubbidin called There's more. Credit recorded a follow up to rub it in called what? Okay. Okay. Okay. Question number three.

Paul once told a lie about his father doing an impression of a famous actor and being dead in order to get a special inscription in the actor's book and a book signing name that actor. I do know this. But I feel like I knew this before freedom. That's entirely possible because anything that I know or other outside of the podcast, anything I've heard on freedom, I will not remember. Yes, because you're busy interrupting it. I'm busy interrupting it.

Oh my god. Are you seriously thinking? I don't, I'm the only one who interrupts What thank you. Thank you for inferring that I don't Question before yourself. This is good point. Yeah This is a two-point question Paul once told a story about watching a double feature with his friend It's not argued that watching One and a half unrelated movies a DVD in your home does not qualify as a double feature with his friend. It's not argued that watching one and a half

unrelated movies DVD in your home does not qualify as a double feature. I don't know where one and a half comes in. I watched both of these movies. Either way, can you name the two movies Paul and his friend watched? You get one point for each correct answer. I'm I'm correct about that though. It's not you can't call it a double feature if you just toss on two movies at home, right? Why can't you? I mean you can But I think double feature is a special term reserved for going out going out to a place and watching and paying for paying for one ticket price That that for something that is is build as a double feature. That's exactly. All right.

And I have no idea what these movies are. Question number five, this is the Lock It In question. First, I will read the question. If you think you know the answer, you can lock it in by writing it down and putting your pen or pencil or fingers down. You may not change your answer once you have locked it in. Oh, wow.

If either player is not locking an answer, I will read a hint. If you answer the question correctly before the hint, you will get two points. If you answer correctly after hearing the hint, you get one point, answer incorrectly. You get nothing. Okay. This has come up before.

I once said that I didn't think my name suited me and that it should stay. Why do we? I know this happened before and I didn't remember last. It'll keep it'll keep happening until you remember. I need the hint. Please give the first name, the middle initial and the last name. Oh. I got nothing. I got nothing. Would you like the hint? I locked it in. You locked it in. Yeah. Okay. Would you like the hint? I locked it in. You locked it in? Yeah. Okay. Would you like a hint?

Wait, so I can still guess. If you have not locked it in. I've not locked in. Then you can get a hint. I can only get one hint. Or can I get all the hints now that she's already locked it in? You only get one hint. I have to.

Okay, give me that hint. It's the first name of a famous minis, the middle initial of a famous fox, and the last name of a character in the board game, Clue. I might be thought. I can't wait to hear what you think. Okay, a famous fox. So like, Vivek A. It's not that.

All right. And then, characters in Clue, you got Plum. Not that. All right, and then characters and clue, you got plum, you got mustard, scarlet. They're all colors. Grape, is that a clue color? Mr. Grape. I'm just gonna go, okay, got it, I'm locked in. All right, here we go, question number one. what was the music related service that my uncle provided piano tuning piano tuning

That's correct. Yeah, I did okay And I get one I get one number two what was the Billy crash crowdock follow up to rub it in Pull it out eat it out You're both incorrect. It was you rubbed it in all wrong. To whom did I lie and say my father did an impression of this famous actor in order to get a signature? Adam West. Peter O'Toole. Peter O'Toole is correct. Adam West? Yes. Thank you. I did work with him on a pilot one time, an animated pilot for someone called Super Adventure

team. I remember that. I remember that. I remember that. I remember that. I remember that. I remember that. I remember that.

I remember that. I remember that. I remember that. I remember that. I remember that. I remember that. Rob Cohen created it. Adam West did not do the series, but he did do the pilot and I got to hang out with him for a day and it was absolutely delightful. Cool. He's not dead. That happens. Two point question. The double feature.

What were the movies and the so-called double feature that I watched? Hard days and eight and help. No. Can you imagine? I know. I've never seen them, but I guess it would be fine. I just can't imagine Paul do we both that's why Cuz you'd be like oh look at these fucking guys Okay, Gremlins and jaws no, okay

These were movies that I had not seen before, and they were Coyote Ugly and Battlefield Earth. Okay, so it's much sillier than I thought. Okay. This is the locket in question. What is the name that I feel I should have and Scott? What did you say? I said Dennis R. Plum. I said Thomas J. Peacock.

The two of you somehow managed to get it. Dennis J. Peacock. Yes. Choose the J. What Fox? I have no idea. Michael J. Fox. Oh, so it was an actual Fox factor. I think it was like a cartoon.

So was I, that's why I guess. So wait, should I get one point for that? Or no? No. Oh, good. That's why I guess I'm a winner. So wait, should I get one point for that? Or no? No, okay, that's tough. Right, neither of us get it or what? Or we do. Yeah, I think, I think, let me see.

Or we do go. What are the lock it in rules again? Cause Lauren locked it in first. I did. If you answer the question correctly before the hint, you get two points for the answer correctly after hearing the hint. So you answered partially correctly,

you get the point. Sorry. Okay, all right. All right, I hope you're keeping track for answer correctly after hearing the hint. So you answered partially correctly, you get the point. Sorry. Yeah. Okay. All right. I hope you're keeping track of the points because I was not. I was. I have one.

I have two points currently. Okay. I'm gonna do the questions next. Okay. Lauren is going to do the questions. I have two points. Paul has zero. And I like it that way.

Mm-hmm. Lauren has one. Okay. Question one, when Lauren was a teenager, okay, when I was a teenager, I had three run-ins with the same police officer. Are we sure this isn't the same thing we had before? I don't know. Keep reading. On our third encounter, what keepsake do the officer give me? I remember this, I remember it, and I'm happy to have remembered it. I really feel like we have- We may have done these before. We might- What is interesting?

I'm still wrong every time. Yeah, I feel like we haven't done yours before. To me, I think these are things we've done. But whatever, we're playing again anyway and everyone can just eat a pancake. Who does it? Who does I? Who do I think is the hottest Simpsons character? I don't remember this at all. Oh, hottest Simpsons. When I saw it actually went, what did I say?

So you never remember? No, but I mean, when I saw it, yeah. The Simpsons character. Wow. So you never remember no, but I mean I do when I saw it. Yeah Simpson character wow Trying to I try to think of any of them are hot just don't think too hard Okay, oh Okay, for my seventh birthday my parents, which is really my mom and my uncle threw me a party with what unusual and boring theme me a party with what unusual and boring theme? Unusual and boring theme. Unusual and boring theme.

Okay. Question four. Two point question. I once surprised my grandma on her birthday with a box of chocolate covered strawberries, but she did not appreciate because they were too big and they were six of them. According to the story, there are two gifts that my grandma always loves receiving. Name them. You get one point for your answer and rest in peace, my grandma. Okay. Okay. And the lock it in question.

Lock it in question. First I will read the question. If you think you know the answer, you can lock it in by writing it down and putting your pen or pencil down. You may not change your answer once you have locked it in. If either player does not lock it in answer, I will read a hint. If you answer the question correctly before the hint, you get two points. If you answer correctly after hearing the hint, you get one point.

Here's my question. You said if neither locks it in, you'll read the hint. Now she had locked it in. I think it's okay if one person locks it in. Okay. Answer incorrectly, you get nothing. Here's the question. I was once offered opium by a guy with what clothing related nickname?

Oh, okay. I'm locked in. I'm locked in. I need the hint. The hint is, it's probably where he kept his opium. Okay. All right, ready? All right, ready. Question one.

What did the police officer give me the third time I had an encounter with him? A trading card. Correct. Alright, great. Who's the hottest Simpsons character? Otto the bus driver. I guess Otto as well.

It's part. It's part. I was like, it can't be part. But I was a child when I watched that show. Ah, but now you're an agent. You put a way to try to help things. For rice seventh birthday, my mom and my uncle threw me a party with what unusual and boring theme when your uncle was my gay uncle.

Uh, tax filing, dirt, manners, etiquette. It was an etiquette party. Were you walking out of like, looks on your head? Yes, we were. And everyone was dressed in a nice dress. That's so funny. Two point question. What does my grandma, what do my grandma always love

receiving? There are two gifts. We get one point for each correct answer. I said money and teeth. I said flowers and candy. No, a hundred dollars cash or a Walgreens gift card. But yes, money counts. I don't see it at one point.

So money and a Walgreens gift card are the two answers. Obviously, she doesn't want candy if the chocolate cover strawberries were too big. Or six of them. Yeah, I thought it was the the amount like if you give candy like M and M she'd be like, oh wow, there's a hundred of these. It's didn't work that way. Okay, and then the guy who gave me offer me opium, what was his clothing related nickname?

Scott, Jorts, pocket. Pockets. Pockets. He's like, my friends call me pockets because I don't have any, I believe was the thing he said to me. Right. Fuck you.

I see. Didn't this come up recently? You probably. All right. Okay, so I have three total. I so far have one and then we're gonna do. You locked it in though, Paul. So you get two for that last answer?

Oh, yeah, you do. Oh, yeah. So how many do you have Paul? Two. I think I've know you have three. Yeah, three. Okay, so we're tied at three. Lauren has one. Yeah. So Paul, you need to get an answer correct. Otherwise, all hell will break loose. We will be tied. Well Or unless Lauren gets more than two. Okay. You guys ready? Yeah.

All right. Question one. Scott once made out with a woman. Yeah, right. True false. That Halloween party and got makeup from his costume all over her face. What are whom was Scott dressed as? Shit. What was Scott dressed as? Shhh, shit. What was Scott dressed as?

This can't be right, but it's funny. Okay. Okay, question two. In high school, Scott pretended to be interested in joining the army in order to get what from an army recruiter. Okay. Okay. Question three, when he was a kid, Scott had to get stitches in his face after attempting what dangerous stunt. I mean, this is obvious. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Two point question. Scott once boasted that his address was so secret, almost nobody knew it. What? Name the two very cool, not at all evil organizations that did know it, I.E. they sent mail to his address with his name on it. Oh, yeah. You got one point for each you name correctly. Could you read that last party? Okay. Name the two very cool, not at all evil organizations that did know the address, i.e. they sent mail to his address with

his actual name on it. Instead of the alias. Very cool, not evil. It's up to her chasm. I think it's, well, I don't want to say. Okay. Okay. All right, Paul, are you? Is there a fifth question? There it, of course, of course, deer.

Okay, some of you are wrapping it up. Okay, let's wrap it up. Okay. All right, the lock it in question. Scott's former roommate, this is incorrect, so I won't read this part of it, but Scott's former roommate, who is roommates with the I have parties guy, had what food related nickname. I'm locked in.

You're locked in. All right, Lauren, do you want the hint? Yeah. This round food is often associated with New York City. I mean, that just gives it away. Yeah, this actually is going to guess. Okay. All right. Here we go. Ready. Question one, Scott once made out with a woman at a Halloween party got makeup from his costume all over her face, whom or what was Scott dressed as? I said, he was. I said, I said, the Joker.

Incorrect, Ace Freely from Kiss. That's right. Yes. Okay. In high school, Scott pretended to be interested in joining the Army in order to get what from an Army recruiter. I said, a sticker.

A gift card. A hand job. What? No, free lunches. Free lunches? Eight free lunches, yes. Free lunches. He took me out.

Oh, I was. Because he would go like, let's go lunch, talk about your future, and I kept stringing him along. Wow. Eight times. Until finally, not sure. On the eighth time, he was like, come on man, what are we doing? I was like, yeah, I'm not making it.

I'm dating, I guess. Eighth time. Yeah. Yeah, that's a lot. The army was short, one person. Yeah. That's so disgusting. Really gotta close this deal.

Okay, question three, when he was a kid, Scott had to get stitches in his face after attempting what dangerous stunt? Riding a bike with his eyes closed. Wow. Wearing sunglasses. Yes. But sunglasses doesn't matter. Your eyes were closed. That's the stunt. True. But the reason I was doing this is because no one would be able to tell my eyes were closed because I was wearing mirrored sunglasses. That's even dumb. But I'll give it to you both. Thank you very much. That's fair. All right, question four, two point questions.

Scott once boasted his address was so secret, almost nobody knew it. Name the, it's not a boast. It's merely a fact, but okay, name the two very cool, not at all evil organizations. They did know it. IE, they sent mail to his address with his name on it. You get one point each. I'm going to say the FBI and the Catholic Church. I said the bank and Scientology. You get one point for Scient I'm gonna say the FBI and the Catholic Church. I said the bank

and Scientology. You get one point for Scientology. It's Scientology and the Republican Party. Lock it in question. Scots former roommate, the I have parties guy had what food-related nickname Paul, you locked it in. Yes, I did. And what is your answer? Bagel. Bagel is correct. What? Pizza. What? Pizza's round in New York. I thought it was obvious, but you are right. Pretty good, pretty good nickname.

Wow. Pizza. I was going to put pizza first and I said, that doesn't sound like a nickname. And then when you said that, I was right. Pizza. All right, do you want me to say what the final totals are?

Yeah. Min's two. For a tied for second place, Scott and Lauren both have three points. And first place, Paul has six points. The champion. Wow. Wow, you got three a piece for each of us. Three of us. The champion. Thank you, Nathan Diffie for submitting those questions.

I know. Speaking of Nathan Diffie, speaking of him, you can see his great artwork when I promote my shows because he does all my show posters. And the latest one that he's done is for for, um, uh, uh, viatopia at the bellhouse in Brooklyn, um, and of course, we'll be selling those posters at the show, but that is October 14th and 15th, 10 PM. The, the early shows are sold out. The 10 PM shows still have tickets. Uh, and also, uh, November, November, I'll be in Charleston, South Carolina with

viatopia and that show still needs to be sold out. So why don't you go get tickets to that. And let me tell you when the date is, that is the 17th, the 17th Friday, the 17th of November, Charleston, South Carolina, first time doing varietopia there, go to

Paul if Tomkins.com slash live for ticket links. Great. And you could follow me on Instagram at learnlapkiss. And that's where you'll find all my show updates. I don't know what I'm doing right now. I don't really care. Hold on a second. We got to tell people what we were going to do a super wild horse a show right before lockdown.

We were going to improvise a murder mystery. We didn't get to do it. The other day I was like, what the fuck, why don't we do that show again? We're going to do it finally. Oh my God. October 9th at Dynasty Typewriter. It's going to be an in-person and live streamed

in a league of shows. It's going to be a lot of fun. What? I can't wait to do this. So go to dinesetripewriter.com for tickets to either the in person show or the live stream. Incredible. And October 31st, this is going to be scary. This is very scary.

I need suggestions for a father daughter Halloween costume. So send these to Lauren and she'll pass them on to me. Oh, the road. The road. The road. Yeah, Halloween costume. So send these to Lauren and she'll pass them on to me. Oh, the road. The road. The road? Yeah, the road. The road. Oh, I think men just like a black top road.

Why don't you go as the street? Yeah, you should be the street and lay down in traffic. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. All right, bye. Bye.

Bye. All right, bye! Bye!