Threedom - Three Threemiums

Episode Date: January 16, 2025

The Pretzel Gang are all safe from the LA fires, but for this week they have decided to release a special compilation of three classic episodes of THREEMIUM (#6, #7, and #9), the biweekly bonus show o...n CBB World where they listen to voicemails and answer questions. Stay tuned in the coming weeks for regular episodes to return! Go to @threedomUSA on instagram to find ways you can donate to those impacted by the fires. Send Threetures and emails to threedomusa@gmail.com.Leave us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comListen ad-free and unlock bi-weekly THREEMIUMS on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, I'm Reshma Sajjani, founder of Girls Who Code. Look, I'd consider myself a pretty successful adult woman. I've written books, founded two successful nonprofits, and I'm raising two incredible kids. But here's the thing. I still wake up wondering, is this it? And if the best years are yet to come, when's that going to start? Join me on my so-called midlife, my new podcast with Lemonada Media, where we're building
Starting point is 00:00:29 a playbook for navigating midlife, one episode at a time. Each week, I'll chat with extraordinary guests who've transformed their midlife crisis into opportunities for growth and newfound purpose. At some point, we all ask ourselves, is there more to life? I'm here to discover how to thrive in my second act, right alongside you. My so-called midlife is out now,
Starting point is 00:00:57 wherever you get your podcasts. When history buff Eric Roper buys an old house in Minneapolis, he wants to know everything he can about the people who live there before him. But one couple become his obsession. And as he pieces together their lives through genealogy records and old recordings, he realizes they're showing him a side of his city he never knew existed. This is Ghost of a Chance from the Minnesota Star Tribune. Subscribe now wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:01:31 Hey everyone, Scott Aukerman here, one of your trusty hosts for Freedom. I'm speaking on behalf of Paul F. Tompkins and Lauren Lapkus, the other hosts. And for this week's episode obviously you all must know about the LA fires that have been going on for over a week now a lot of people have been impacted by that personally our show we're all fine we we have been impacted a little bit not as bad as quite a few other people that we know personally, but a couple of us did evacuate LA and Lauren is still out of town.
Starting point is 00:02:15 And so what we couldn't get together to record this week, but what we decided to do is we have these threemium shows that we've been talking about which are the shows where we answer your your voicemails and normally those come out over on CBBworld or at Lemonada Premium and so those are about 20 minutes apiece so what we decided to do was we were gonna stitch together three of those and turn it into an episode for this week so that's what what you're going to hear is you're going to hear three, three Mium episodes where we answer phone calls in succession, right in a row. And then hopefully by next week we will be back a recording and,
Starting point is 00:02:57 um, things will have settled down a little bit. We appreciate your patience for that. Um, we did want to say that, uh, we will have a link in our Instagram page with a spreadsheet of GoFundMe's to donate to if people would like to donate even one to two to three to maybe even five dollars. That'll be at threedomusa on our Instagram page and again thank you for all of your concern for us we're all okay all of our families are okay and everything. And hopefully we'll be back to regular business next week.
Starting point is 00:03:30 All right, until then enjoy this very special episode of Freedom. Freedom! I'm gonna get it right. I know you are. I'm gonna do anything I can to get it right. Freedom! You got the first two right. I'm doing, I'm on to get it right. I know you are. I'm going to do anything I can to get it right. Got the first two right. I'm doing, I'm on a roll here. I know what I'm going to say. What am I going to do?
Starting point is 00:03:59 You didn't do it. No, I said, Oh my God. Oh my God. I really panicked. Yeah, you really did. But you know what? We still got here, you know? And it's one thing I'm learning is that if we say the wrong word, the show still goes on. Yeah. I'm taking a step back to listen and learn. Yeah, me too. That's right. We're all, by the way, on this episode of Thremium, we're all just listening to each other.
Starting point is 00:04:14 None of us are going to talk. Yeah. And no one's going to listen to this. No one's going to interrupt and no one's going to talk and no one's going to do anything but listen. We're just going to sit here staring at each other, listening to each other. It's going to be amazing. Now let's roll that beautiful bean footage.
Starting point is 00:04:26 If you would like to call us, go to hag claims eight dot com and leave a voice message on that website. Hag claims eight dot com. Yeah. Like this person did. This person has something that they want to ask us. The freedom threemium team. What name this person is? Well, I think they're going to say it themselves. So I don't want to bury the lead here. My watch just told me I'm in a loud
Starting point is 00:04:49 environment. You're in a loud environment? No! Shut up! No! 90 decibels. Oh 90? Are we talking 90 decibels? Is that a lot? We do scream. That's true. We did scream freedom. Yes. And Thremium.. Screaming does make that watch go crazy. Screaming makes the heart grow fonder. Yep. So if anyone screams, your watch will tell you someone's screaming. Good tip. Well, yeah, they're like, get away from that screaming person. It's very passive aggressive about it. It says things are getting kind of loud, huh?
Starting point is 00:05:18 Hey, you might want to move rooms. Just a thought. Or go get help, you fucking asshole. Yeah. I mean, if you were offering Genovese situation, if you were offering like, should I call 911 for you? And then shall I call 911? Would you like to call 911 to save your ass? In I believe in the UK, it's 999. Is it 999? 999. 999. All right. This comes to us from someone and they're going to say what their name is, Noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi,
Starting point is 00:05:48 noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi,
Starting point is 00:05:56 noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi, noi if you guys had to go to McDonald's, what you might each get. We talked about that a little bit actually. That's all I guess. I don't know if we actually said our orders. Thank you, goodbye. Okay Colin, okay. Not to speak over him. Colin, Colin.
Starting point is 00:06:13 Jesus, we heard you. Let us say goodbye to you. We're trying to talk here. Goodbye Colin. Goodbye to you. If I had to go to McDonald's. I don't think we said our orders. I think we said which fast food place we would go to.
Starting point is 00:06:25 That could be true, yes. We would go, Cool Up would order on the, was it the anniversary of Harris' death or was it his birthday? It might've been his birthday. She would order McDonald's every year. By the way, everyone should die on their birthday.
Starting point is 00:06:42 Yeah. Just simplify it. Whatever year it is, just die on your birthday. How about this year? Everyone die on your birthday. Hey, this year. We'll all do it. Let's all make a pact. Everyone listening, let's die on our birthdays.
Starting point is 00:06:59 If your birthdays already passed, die right now. birthday's already passed die right now but we would we would get we would get his order which was like chicken McNuggets chicken McNuggets shut the fuck up well why can't I make fun of that come on McNuggets is funny chicken McNuggets it's more cute than funny. Because I'm a baby. It's actually adorable. You're a bit of a baby. But it was Chicken McNubbits and... Fribes. Cheapsburgers.
Starting point is 00:07:31 The abominable Dr. Fribes. Oh, that sounds like a good movie. You should write that. I did. Mail it to the WGA. What else? Nice. I'm going to go with the WGA.
Starting point is 00:07:39 I'm going to go with the WGA. I'm going to go with the WGA. I'm going to go with the WGA. I'm going to go with the WGA. I'm going to go with the WGA. I'm going to go with the WGA. I'm going to go with the WGA. I'm going to go with the WGA. I'm going to go You should write that. I did. Mail it to the WGA. Zhugoo, zhugoo, zhugoo, zhugoo, zhugoo, zhugoo. What else? Not, I'm not doing Cosby, I'm doing the...
Starting point is 00:07:52 Why did you mention it? No one was thinking you were. He did. I did think it. I knew it. Because he was doing it. His eyes lit up with Bill Cosby pictures in his eyeballs. Pfft.
Starting point is 00:08:02 I'm gonna be a Bill Cosby air. Wake up. Wait, what was your chicken McNubbets? It was chicken McNubbets, sheeburrs, fries and maybe I can't remember what his order was, but, but what I was. No, there would never be a drink involved, but what I would order myself, you know what I would love at McDonald's was those sundaes.
Starting point is 00:08:29 Oh yeah. Oh sure, with the ice cream machine broken. Yeah. Always. Classic. Hot fudge sundaes. I only, if I eat a burger from McDonald's, it's plain with just the butt and the meat.
Starting point is 00:08:41 What? Because that's how I've been eating it my entire life. Wow. My mom likes it that way, and then I was trained to like it that way. It's good enough for my mother, and it's good enough for me. As a kid, I always ate it that way, and then I will continue.
Starting point is 00:08:51 And it's just the way that you like it. But I will get, typically I'll get chicken McNubbits, and I'll do- You'll put the sauce on the burger? No, I'll put the sauce on the nubs, and I'll do- I'll put the sauce on the nubs. I'll do. I'll put the sauce on the nubs. I'll do a 10 piece nowadays, bud, six to 10. Wait, on your hamburger, would you get the condiments? Nothing at all.
Starting point is 00:09:13 Nothing at all. And if anybody touches it, I'm disgusted. And it's not true for other locations, like other chains. Right. This is how I eat the McDonald's burger. Wow. But I like a like a Mcnubbit and I like Fribe's and I love Fribe's. So I'll get, I'll get a six piece to a 10 piece depending on my appetite and have a large fry and a McFlurry if I'm really feeling special. Wow.
Starting point is 00:09:40 But I usually won't get that. But that's if I, or I'll do fries and McFlurry as just an order. That's just a great combo, hot and cold. You have a lot. I get the same thing every time. What's that? Double quarter pounder with cheese. Yeah. I'll get the meal, I'll get the fries,
Starting point is 00:09:56 and I'll get the drink. You can just make a half pounder. Or does that feel too gluttonous? It feels, I feel like I'm not being gluttonous as a double quarter pounder. Right, yeah. Yeah. Half pounder. Of course we allous as a double quarter pounder. Right, yeah. Yeah. Of course we all know it's a half pounder.
Starting point is 00:10:07 You have to do so much math in your head every time you order. Can't do it, what am I, a beautiful mind? Yeah. I'm not looking around seeing all those equations. Does a double quarter pounder weigh half a pound? Thank you. Before cooking.
Starting point is 00:10:18 Before cooking. After cooking it weighs more. Yeah. Because it's big and strong. And they put all that shit on it that you don't like. Yeah, get that out of here. What's that? The McFlurry one was first introduced. I'm sure I've told this before. Oh, please tell us a story you've told before. When they give you the spoon for it. It's comfort food. You think it's a straw because there's a big hole
Starting point is 00:10:39 of it. Yes. It's not. I tried to drink this thing like it was a drink. No, I almost like passed out from your sucking it so hard. Yeah. And then why does it have a whole like ice cream? I don't I guess when it starts to melt, maybe or maybe the suck up that huge amount. It's a prank. Does it have a hole in the that goes all the way down? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Starting point is 00:11:02 There's like a little tunnel through the. You know what it should be? They should fill that with M&Ms or whatever candy put It has like a little tunnel through the handle. You know what it should be? They should fill that with M&Ms or whatever candy you put into it and have it come through the spoon. Have it come through the spoon. Have it come through the spoon. Have it come through the spoon.
Starting point is 00:11:14 You know that book, is it Fast Food Nation? I don't remember, but where they talk about how, what McDonald's does is they, it's like scientific now now you can have an eyedropper and before it was more religious yeah no but you can put like one drop of a liquid on a piece of paper and suddenly the whole room smells like meat and that's what they put on the fries you can do that with any water in any paper do it right now just do it right now you'll'll see. No, but that's what they're using now
Starting point is 00:11:48 because it smells like meat and it gets you hungry or whatever, but it's all just chemicals. This is making me want McDonald's. I already ate in and out today, so I don't really want it right now, but in general. I already had a grilled cheese sandwich. Wow. Yeah, it was delicious.
Starting point is 00:12:02 Let's talk about what we ate today. Okay. What did we have for breakfast? I had a Chobani flip yogurt Almond cocoa Something it's like chocolate chips coconut almonds and Then I had two string cheeses and a bag of pretzels and then I had two string cheeses and a bag of pretzels.
Starting point is 00:12:26 And then I had a hamburger from Eat It Out, fries, and a 7-Up. And then I had half a bag of plain M&Ms and two Ritz peanut butter crackers. What about those Cadbury mini eggs? And I ate four Cadbury mini eggs. Four? Probably, five. I had a Un Uff.
Starting point is 00:12:49 Wow. Un Uff? What's that? An egg. Oh. Trader Joe's vegetarian sausage patty. OK. I also had some cinnamon sugar cereal that's organic. Apparently it's good. Oh, it's organic. OK. Oh, it's good for you. I had some V8 juice. Some. Okay. Oh, it's good for you. I had some v8 juice
Starting point is 00:13:05 Some yeah, I didn't drink the whole bottle. I just pour myself a glass of it because didn't it used to come in the little mini They do it still does but I get the big bottle was a very 90s beverage It felt like more like a 70s and 80s to me. I have a classic I could have had a v8 where you slap your own head. Yeah. But they're still making a baby. Yes. Any beverage that would, they depict in the commercial, somebody ordering some dumb drink and then somebody next to them, I'll have a V eight. And then the person, the first person will be humiliated. Yes. They're filled with self-loathing.
Starting point is 00:13:43 It was too late. Then I had grilled a cheese sandwich. be humiliated. And they could have had one. Yes, they're filled with self-loathing. But it was too late. Then I had grilled a cheese sandwich. Did you make it yourself? I made it myself. What's your technique? What kind of bread are you using? Whatever bread's in the.
Starting point is 00:13:57 That's the person hiding in the refrigerator. It was some wheat bread from somewhere. Do you butter the whole grain bread? I butter the bread. The one side of it? Both sides. Both sides! Trump!
Starting point is 00:14:10 Trump does that? Beautiful butter on both sides. Very fine butter on both sides. And some pop chips as a little garnish. How many slices of cheese do you put on that? Three. Three and are they all the same cheese? They're all the same cheese.
Starting point is 00:14:27 But you know, sometimes I'll mix it up. Sure. This is all the same cheese. The flavor of Pop Chip? Sea salt. Nice. Then I had a couple spoonfuls of creamy peanut butter. Wow.
Starting point is 00:14:40 Maranatha is my brand. What's it called? Maranatha. Maranatha. I'm not familiar with this. I'll be Googling. Oh, please. You got to get into it. What do you eat? Then I had. Oh, he's still going.
Starting point is 00:14:52 He's still eating. I had two Cadbury mini eggs here. Right. And then a little ramekin of pretzels. OK. All in all, I'm done eating for the rest of my life. The rest of your life. I finally caught up. Oh, good. OK. Marinatha Marin. Marinatha Marinatha.
Starting point is 00:15:13 Peanut butter. Peanut. Let's see. OK, I. People ask, why is Marinatha peanut butter so good? Why are you asking? I ask that every time I eat it.atha peanut butter so good? Why are you asking? Why are you asking a computer? I ask that every time I eat it. Why is it so good?
Starting point is 00:15:30 Computers can't eat. Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened. I always scream that. Okay, what did you eat? Okay, I first, while my coffee was brewing, I had a banana. I call bullshit. Really? Okay. You're right. I haven't eaten.
Starting point is 00:15:53 No banana. I knew you never had a banana in your life. Banana and then coffee with a little bit of sugar-free hazelnut creamer. I forgot to say that I had two cups of black coffee. Actually, no, I had three cups of black coffee. Oh my God. Because Janie went out for breakfast, so she only had one cup of coffee at home and I finished off the pot.
Starting point is 00:16:15 Whoa. And then I still felt exhausted. Interesting. It sucked. But you won't be able to sleep tonight. No. Okay, so then I had that banana. I had what is the stuff that okay cool up has been making it She puts it in jars
Starting point is 00:16:32 No, it's like jelly. It feels like a yogurt kind of thing. But look a little black Chia. Yeah, Chi it's chia or something and Then she made all this and I put strawberries in it. Oh, this sounds like what Steve and Miranda would eat. When they were doing their TV time. Yeah. Probably home in Brooklyn. Weirdos. That's that always looked fun. So I had some cacao nibs on top. Then what did I do? I had some water. Are we counting water? Yes. No, you didn't mention it. You're a liar. Fuck. I yes. I took all my pills. Yeah. I've been putting
Starting point is 00:17:16 electrolytes into my water. I ran out. I didn't have it today. How many? Four? One. Just one. But I was using element elementy. Have you ever it's spelled? I think I've had yeah. Yeah, it's like salty. We okay Enough with this with spelling things that way. Without the vowels. Spell it the regular way. Fucking spell it the regular way or come up with a different name. Like grinder Put the E back in. Put the E back in, Grindr. Otherwise I won't use you anymore. I refuse to grind, to tumble. Okay, hold on.
Starting point is 00:17:49 Then I had, then I had a sweet kale with chicken salad. Weird. Well, that sounds fancy. A breakfast salad? No, this is, breakfast is long gone by the year. Oh, okay, okay. This is lunchtime. Okay, you just had a banana for breakfast.
Starting point is 00:18:03 No, and the chia. And the chia. With the strawberries. Chia. Ch-ch-ch-chia. Okay. This is lunchtime. Okay. You just had a banana for breakfast. No. And the chia and the chia chia. So then I had this salad and then he had to chia. I had one Cadbury. What are they called? Mini egg that Lauren gave me. And then I had that little tiny bowl full of pretzels, which were terrible. Will you be eating the mini eggs, sir? Right, what am I doing?
Starting point is 00:18:28 Alfred. That's right. The butler did. The butler did that line. But by the way, when we're taping this, the day's only halfway through. We still got a whole half day of eating to go. Oh, I'm gonna be eating a lot more this evening, folks.
Starting point is 00:18:46 And I'll update you all on every single bite. Why is Uber called Uber? Is it a play on anything? Like Uber? Fast. Yeah, very. Like Uber. Like Uber Alice. Yes. Like Deutschland Uber. Yes, exactly. Yeah. Hitler shit. And Lyft I get. You're getting a I get. You're getting a Lyft. You're getting a Lyft, although, you know. Bless the baby. They should just, it should be L-I-F-T.
Starting point is 00:19:10 Yeah. Yes. Can you imagine? Can you imagine if it was spelled? The first Brazil ever was like, hey, maybe we should spell these things different in order to keep away from copyright. What was the first one? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:19:23 I'm trying to think of any pizza. Any pizza. Can you think of any pizza right now, Paul? P-Z-Z-A. Caesar. Little Caesars. A little Caesar implies the existence of a big Caesar. How they steal Caesar's name.
Starting point is 00:19:39 We should start big Caesar's with bigger pizzas. Fair use. That's why Caesar can't sue them. Yeah. Because he's long dead. And what did you say, honey? We should start big Caesars bigger pizzas. Fair use. That's why Caesar can't sue them. Yeah. Because he's long dead. And what did you say, honey? We should start Big Caesar's and they have big pizzas.
Starting point is 00:19:49 Yes. And we're like, what are you going to go to, Little Caesar's? Or they're even smaller than Little Caesar's. Yes. But that's a surprise. No one knows that. Yes. Find out first day.
Starting point is 00:19:59 Because we shoot them really close up. Oh yeah. But they look enormous. And we do force perspective. We shoot like a person standing next to a Grand Canyon sized pizza. Is is big Caesar's nose really big?
Starting point is 00:20:11 No, he has no nose. Yeah, he has. It's like a hole in his empty triangle. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's an empty triangle. Yeah, like the guy in Fallout. I don't know. Bolton Goggins. Walton. I don't know. Walton Goggins. Walton Goggins. I saw an ad for that. They're making a fallout show based on the video game.
Starting point is 00:20:30 Oh, I've seen that ad. It looks very good. Starring Sweet Bitter and then Walton Goggins playing a dual role. Sweet Bitter. I can't remember her name, but we saw her, that's what we call her in our household because she was in a show called Sweet Bitter.
Starting point is 00:20:43 Like, oh, Sweet Bitter's in this. Oh, that's a cute name. She's a very cute actress. I can't remember her name, but she's very good. She's been in a lot of stuff. She's British. Hello. But she plays Americans a lot. Oh, isn't that wild? Unfair. That's acting, dear boy. It's unfair.
Starting point is 00:20:59 That's all you have to do. Somebody said, why don't you try it to her? And she said, OK, I will. And now she's doing it. Epstein, I beg your pardon. Or Ella Pernell. Does she, why don't you try it to her? And she said, okay, I will. And now she's doing it all the time. Eden Epstein? I beg your pardon? Or Ella Pernell. Does she have an island that Paul's been to? Is her name Ella Pernell?
Starting point is 00:21:11 Do you know what? Maybe? Yes. And she's also in Yellow Jackets. Oh, yep. I reckon those are from that. Oh, I've not seen either of these things. First season of Yellow Jacket's really fun.
Starting point is 00:21:22 I fell off in the second season, so I can't speak to that. I did too. I did too. I did too. The first one really got me hooked. It's fun. She has a kind of captivating look about it. Doesn't she? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:33 Beautiful, beautiful eyes. Beautiful wrists. Big eyes, great wrists. Huge wrists. Ooh, I love those big fat wrists. All right, we have to go. Thanks for listening to Three Visiting. Don't forget to leave us a message at HagClaims8.com and you'll get to hear everything that we ate.
Starting point is 00:21:52 Thanks to Colin. Yes, thank you Colin. If finally your question fit into what we always talk about, which is everything we eat for the day. Yes, and we'll see you in a couple of weeks. Bye. Yes. And we'll see you in a couple of weeks. Bye. Hey, everybody. It's a harsh world out there and I got some cold hard facts for you. Creating really great retail experiences is tough, especially with multiple stores, teams of staff, fulfillment centers, separate workflows. It is, frankly, and you heard it from me first, a lot. But with Shopify Point of Sale, you can do it all
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Starting point is 00:26:24 Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! It's a three-me-um. Did you see how I was acting like an agent of Chow's? I heard some maniacal laughter.
Starting point is 00:26:40 I was very, very scared about what was happening on your end of the table. It's like I became a joker. And a smoker and a midnight toker? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Well, isn't that something? Bow-wow!
Starting point is 00:26:51 Isn't that special? The church lady! Church lady. It used to be so easy. Satan! Comedy used to be so easy, didn't it? I know. Honestly, that sketch, the same thing every single time.
Starting point is 00:27:03 And you would get mad if he didn't say Satan and didn't say isn't that special. They started to add reverb on it. Right, exactly. Okay, look. Look, we gotta change this up a little. We've done this 1,000 times. How about we add reverb to the word Satan?
Starting point is 00:27:15 But we loved it. I loved it. We loved it. We loved it, didn't we folks? We did. He was on the cover of People Magazine as the church lady within a month. Really? I gotta see that. I think not as the main cover but like up in the okay the story's falling apart and it wasn't people it was person and it was
Starting point is 00:27:34 Dana Carvey magazine. Wow he would get the whole cover? No but that sucks. Who was on the cover? I think it was like I think was Sid Caesar. That's strange. The pre Dana Carvey. The church woman. Yes. The church grandma. Those words put together didn't help narrow down my search. There's a lot of church related things on the cover of people magazine.
Starting point is 00:27:59 How about church lady people magazine? Yeah, that's what I wrote. Dana Carvey church Lady People Magazine? Yeah, you can do that too. I have it right here in front of me. First thing that pops up. Wow, it must be cool to be you. Okay, guess who is on the cover.
Starting point is 00:28:19 Guess who? Guess who is on the cover. You wanna do a 20 questions of who's on the cover? Do they have a hat? They don't have a hat. If that helps narrow down. No, like the game Guess Who? Do you ever play that game?
Starting point is 00:28:30 No. It seems like it would be past. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you just you said. I've never played it, but I know what it is. It's pretty fun. Sounds fun. I saw a video.
Starting point is 00:28:40 Well, the game is like you have this board with all these pictures of different characters and then you're like and you have a card that has one character on it. So you're like my person is this person you have that person and I'm trying to guess who yours is and whittle down by like putting down on my little tabs all the people. So like does your person have a hat? You go no. Then I get down all the people who do have a hat. I get right.
Starting point is 00:29:00 Right. I saw people playing it on Instagram when they were like does your person look like someone who would talk to you at a bar about, like, you know, and they just like make it really specific. I'm like, that's very fun. Okay. This person who's on the cover of the People magazine
Starting point is 00:29:13 that the church lady has the little top corner thing. Can I guess? He and I have shared something. Oh, it's one person. Okay. It's one person. A Coke? Maybe. He and I have shared something.
Starting point is 00:29:24 A lover? Perhaps. You're gonna have to guess. I'm not saying guess what he and I have shared something. A lover? Perhaps. You're gonna have to guess. I'm not saying guess what he and I have shared. I'm saying guess the person. Is it Johnny Carson? Incorrect. Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Starting point is 00:29:37 Incorrect, but what have we shared in your opinion? I don't know. What the, how would I? You know what he and I have shared. I know it? Yes. So I have You know what he and I have shared. I know it? Yes. So I have to think of everything that you have ever shared with another person. Yeah, a celebrity who would have been on the cover of People magazine in 1986.
Starting point is 00:29:57 I'm just going with the celebrity angle because I can't think of everything possible to share. Well it's not like Paul Rudd or something. Chachi. Interesting, because we share a name. Because James Chachi. Incorrect. Yes, my name is Chachi. Scott Bale, couldn't think of his name.
Starting point is 00:30:11 Chachi Ackerman. 1986? Yeah. Oscar winner. And he's on the cover because he's an Oscar winner. Tom Hanks? Incorrect, Tom Hanks did not win until Philadelphia in 1991. Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 00:30:28 He won at night too. Oscar winner, Bloomer. Ryan O'Neill. Incorrect. He and I shared a role. Oh, Michael Caine. It is Michael Caine. Gold member?
Starting point is 00:30:44 Gold member. Gold member. Michael Caine. Can I see the picture? Yeah, here Caine. It is Michael Caine. Gold member. Gold member. Gold member. Michael. Can I see the picture? Yeah. Well, here you go. It's be taking the pet put to the end. Where's Church Lady? Right up there. Don't you think you could have dressed up a little bit? That's a really like casual cover overall.
Starting point is 00:30:57 Do you think he do you think that he that was a shoot for the magazine? Do you think they just found a picture? I don't know, because he's wearing like a tennis warm-o. It looks like he's pulling his shirt down. Like a warm-up jacket, but it is a zip-up. But he's showing his chest hair to us, intentionally it seems. It's sexy.
Starting point is 00:31:18 It's getting me aroused. I'm in the bone zone. It's so hot. Okay, this is three. I'm engorged. This is Thremium bone zone. It's so hot. Okay, this is three. I'm engorged. This is Thremium where we. A step too far. You were right.
Starting point is 00:31:29 This is Thremium where we play your voice messages. Oh my God, he almost said emails. Oh shit. We play your emails? Oh no, he's losing it. Oh my God, you can't do that. He's losing it. He's gonna do, good days and bad days.
Starting point is 00:31:41 You send us these via HagClaims8.com. That's right. Bookmark this website. Yeah. And it should be your start page. It should be your main source of news. HagClaims8.com. I know you mainly get your news from Hudson News
Starting point is 00:31:56 or other trusted news sources. Yeah. But HagClaims8 is where you need it. I know you go down to the corner. I only go to the airport. Talk to that guy that sits in that little shack. It's freezing cold, he's got a cigar. And the watchmen are out there.
Starting point is 00:32:10 And the giant squid is about to. There's a little boy reading a comic book about what's happening right now. About pirates. Oh, pirates, you can skip that. Yeah, turns out it's never interesting. What a good feeling that is when you're reading Watchmen and you realize, oh, let's read the pirate ship.
Starting point is 00:32:24 Oh, I can skip this now. Or when you're re-watching the Twin Peaks Showtime episode and you go, oh, wow, I can totally skip over the dougie scenes. When they do the dougie? Yeah, teach me how to dougie. Yeah, yeah. OK, so this.
Starting point is 00:32:38 I want to teach you how to do the dougie. Here we go. This is a voicemail left by one of you. Hey Lauren, Paul, Scott. My name is Delaney and I have a question. So Paul, you were on a podcast recently where you described yourself as an easy laugher and that just gave me so much joy.
Starting point is 00:33:00 And so I was wondering if you could share with all the other piss pigs what it means to be an easy laugher and why you consider yourself to be one. And then Lauren and Scott would either of you use that term to describe yourself as an easy laugher. Wow. That's a good question. Thanks Delaney. I really like her name. Delaney. Delaney. I like it. It's a good name. Yeah. It's like Dana Delaney but backwards. Yeah. Maybe her last name is Dana. It's a good name. Yeah. It's like Dana Delaney, but backwards. Yeah. Maybe her last name is Dana.
Starting point is 00:33:26 With no Dana. Yeah. Yeah, that's what backwards means. It's a lot like, but we don't know that her last name is Dana. It could be. It could be. Delaney Dana.
Starting point is 00:33:35 That would be shocking. Delaney comma Dana. That would be shocking. That was Dana Delaney. Yeah, it might've been. Okay. Okay, so to me, what an easy laugher means is, first of all, I enjoy comedy,
Starting point is 00:33:51 but also I will laugh. This is not, I will sometimes laugh, not in a professional capacity, but in life. Sometimes I'll laugh at people, it's just the intention of being funny. You know what I mean? Like when you're out and about in the world and somebody makes some little joke or something,
Starting point is 00:34:12 and it's like, even though the joke itself is maybe not hilarious, but the idea that somebody's being kind of silly or whatever, that will, I will enjoy that. So it's like, it's weirdly like I'm laughing at the intention of the person rather than what they said. Now I think as a woman. I'm not a woman.
Starting point is 00:34:34 You should, okay, fine. Then I'll answer for myself. Okay, good. I think as a woman, I laugh when I don't mean it a lot. Because not with my friends. Put someone in these. But no, in public you have to do that. Right.
Starting point is 00:34:49 I mean, you don't have to, but it's like we're ingrained with this, I think. To show that you're- Just a nice lady who gets along with it all. And I don't mind that you just made that comment. And I'm not the B word. Yeah. In apartment 23 word.
Starting point is 00:35:03 No, but so I definitely do polite laughter, but I think with my friends I like to laugh a lot and then, but if I'm watching something and I don't think it's funny, I don't really laugh. Yeah. But it's, it's not to be rude. It's just that I wait because I'm when it really is, I'm like really having fun. Like I went to see, we talked about this show it really is I'm like really having fun. Like I went to see we talked about this show
Starting point is 00:35:27 Gutenberg and I was like Laughing so hard and I was like that's the best feeling when you genuinely Find something so funny that you're just like surprised by it and the laugh is like so authentic and I feel like for me It's I I sort of just like let it wash over me until that happens. I agree with that. I very rarely laugh at entertainment, like a movie or a TV show or something. So when it does make me laugh out loud, it's that's a huge thing. It's like, wow, that really caught me by surprise. Or like I think you should leave or something where like, and then I'm just like crying and I'm like, that's the best.
Starting point is 00:36:01 I get worried at live shows if I go to see a friend show because I have a loud laugh and to some people it might be a distinctive laugh. And I worry about calling attention to myself. Yeah. It makes me very self-conscious. Yeah. And so sometimes I'll laugh and then I'll like stop myself.
Starting point is 00:36:20 Well, and I think there's that thing too of like, if you are laughing really hard at something and then you're not, then you stop. Yeah. And it's like, oh, does he not like that one? Yeah. It's like, we're all aware of like what the person, the loud laugher is thinking.
Starting point is 00:36:29 Exactly, yeah. Scott, what do you think? Do you laugh? I don't know if I've ever seen that. Have you ever seen you laugh? Have you ever laughed? I don't know, what is it? Ah, ah?
Starting point is 00:36:40 No, it's the opposite. Yeah, it's ha ha. Yeah, I'm like an easy laugh in a lot of ways if something just tickles me. Like, Cool Up will always find it very amusing when I watch something like Detroiters or Paul Walter Hauser in anything, or you know what I mean, where I'm just like
Starting point is 00:37:01 sitting there laughing really hard and she'll come into the room and be like, oh my God, you're laughing really hard. That's nice. Because so, so. Because you're so miserable. Well, because normally you're such a prick. All right, and that's been Thremium.
Starting point is 00:37:15 No! No, Scotty. He's turning off his laptop. No, oh my God, he slammed it shut. Shovel. But yeah, I mean. Shabone, Shabon. It's, so I'm a really easy, and then, you know,
Starting point is 00:37:28 just producing that standup show for 10 years, I was laughing a lot because everything was so funny. Now I don't find standup all that funny anymore, so when I, because I just had to be around it so much. Well, that's part of what it is, I think it's a comedy fatigue. Yes, so when I do see something that I really, like a standup special that's super funny,
Starting point is 00:37:47 I'm like, oh, I can still laugh in standup, yay. I had an experience recently, and I thought about it, it really made me think about live performance. I went to see a matinee of a play, and there was a lot of humor in the play, but because it was a matinee, it was not hugely attended. There were lines that you knew would usually get laughs and weren't getting laughs.
Starting point is 00:38:15 And it's not that I didn't think they were funny, but it is a different energy. The crowd wasn't bringing it. When you're in a crowd and that's why comedy films are so important to watch with the crowd It's important because it just it just I mean I I Remember like watching the naked gun on opening night and just like laughing with tears rolling down my face because everyone in the crowd That's the best. Oh my god. We went to that scary movie premiere that time
Starting point is 00:38:39 Do you remember that there was one of the scary movies and we did it? Yeah. I thought you were there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Did we? I thought so because we, we like walked up on the red carpet. We did behind James woods. I know that would have been number two. It was not me. But, um, and, uh, uh, I, so it's, it's a, it's the premiere of this movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the premiere of this movie. And so everyone is laughing their fucking heads off.
Starting point is 00:39:11 And I was too. And I'm like, if I... That's fun, that's like a great time. If I saw this movie on cable or something. Or yeah, just alone at your house. I doubt I would laugh at all. Well, sometimes I would see movies at South by Southwest and they would just be so funny at South by Southwest.
Starting point is 00:39:26 And then you'd tell people like, oh, go see it. And then you see it and it's just not, it's kind of laying there. I was so relieved when I saw Bridesmaids maybe three weeks before it came out. And I was coming back going like, everyone go see Bridesmaids. And so we went to like opening night at the dome
Starting point is 00:39:42 and Paul who directed it was there actually. And I was like, oh, hey, dome and Paul who directed was there actually. And I was like, oh, hey, here I am again. I'm watching, I brought all my friends and then it just kills. You know, it's just, it's very gratifying. That movie, I remember crying, laugh, like laughing till I cried and then also crying at the emotional ending.
Starting point is 00:40:00 Oh my God, I love this movie. I laughed at that movie a lot. But then I would get, sometimes going to the Sunset Five, you'd get upset at the certain type of theater goer who's like doing performative laughing. Like I'm smart enough to get this joke, but at the same time, like it is kind of a relationship, especially in a live performance,
Starting point is 00:40:17 it's a relationship between you and the performer of like trying to give them what they deserve. Yes, I do feel, if I'm watching a comedian or comedy show in person, I'm not withholding because I want it to feel like, Gary, we're here. It's a conversation between you and the performer sometimes if it's a great way. So I think when we go out on tour,
Starting point is 00:40:39 it's great to hear the laughs and it emboldens you. And it's not performative in some ways, but I don't know. There are people, I mean, it depends on what you're watching. I think there's definitely those people where they're laughing to be like, ha ha, I'm smart. Right. And I get that. I was just thinking though. But I would rather that, as a performer, I would rather that than people just sitting
Starting point is 00:40:57 there going like, show me something funny. Well, yeah. No, no, it's much nicer that people do laugh. But I went to a comedy show in London of someone who is very funny. And I was listening to some podcasts recently where they were talking about, oh, was it you talking about this?
Starting point is 00:41:14 Oh my God, I'm expect to be accused. The London audiences don't really laugh, but then they're like, that was amazing. Yes, I was warned that before I went to perform there for the first time, they're much more reserved. Was with my parents, this is when I was warned that before I went to put in there for the first time. So very much more reserved. I was with my parents. This is when I was there doing that movie. And I might be so my parents came to visit me and we went to this standup.
Starting point is 00:41:34 It was a storytelling show. It was somebody that I really like. And the and I felt crazy because I was like, no one's laughing. But my parents and I were laughing. But it was like, like sort of like what But my parents and I were laughing, but it was like, sort of like, what's, I couldn't tell what was happening. It was like, it was actually like a really weird feeling. Cause I was like, you know,
Starting point is 00:41:51 when you bring someone to something and you're like, I hope they like this, that I'm going like, do they think this sucks because no one's laughing? But it's like, but it is entertaining. And I'm like, and then they did have a good time, but it was just like. So if laughter is truly involuntary, then why would it be a cultural thing if people don't laugh?
Starting point is 00:42:09 Did that make you fall asleep? Because you've gone so hard. I wish, I wish. But you know what I mean? Like, is laughter cultural? I had never really known that about, and then I don't know if you said it or somebody else said it, but I was like,
Starting point is 00:42:22 oh, maybe that made me think of that experience. And I was like, oh, is that what happened there? Like it was like, maybe they're being respectful or like taking it in a different way. I mean, was it no laughter? No, it wasn't, but it was, it was, It wasn't enthusiastic laughter. It was quiet.
Starting point is 00:42:36 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I, I mean, culturally, And it was sold out. You feel like they were excited to be there. Yeah. SRO. What? SRO. Sold right out? Oh yeah. I think that, yeah, I know. culturally and it was sold out. They were excited to be. Yeah. SRO sold right out. Oh yeah. I think that, um, yeah, I know. I think that I, we both don't.
Starting point is 00:42:58 I think that, uh, culturally it makes sense if, you know, expression of emotion is so that it's suppressed is more private. And so it's just ingrained in you. That'd be such a bummer to grow up with parents who don't laugh at anything you do. Oh, would it? Yeah, I wonder what that's like. I know.
Starting point is 00:43:16 I wonder if it would have driven me into show business. Oh, that's right. I'm thinking about the other side of it, where I genuinely laugh at everything that my daughter does. And oh yeah, I never got that either. All right, well I hope. I did. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:31 Perfect little Lauren. It can go both ways is all I'm saying. Right? Both sides. Delaney, thank you so much. Thank you Delaney. For that question. Thank you so much, a good question.
Starting point is 00:43:42 And that's gonna do it for this episode of Thremium, but we'll be back in a couple of weeks to answer. Don't be scared. Don't be frightened. Put the magic top hat on our heads, we'll be back. Yes. Someday. I thought that was a Lidsville thing
Starting point is 00:43:55 and then I just realized it's frosty. You fucking idiot. Yeah. Goodbye. See you on the next one. Goodbye. We are kind of all over the place on year's resolutions. Sure, I've got aspirations next one. We are kind of all over the place on year's resolutions.
Starting point is 00:44:11 Sure, I've got aspirations and I try to improve myself whenever possible throughout the year with the big list with the firm deadline to start improving. That's a big ask. I want to hit the easy button like in those old commercials. Honestly, yes, it'd be great if that existed in real life and I could have that big list, knock it out with the easy button and move on to podcasting and parenting and hanging out with friends. For financial goals though, Acorns is my easy button for my finances this holiday season. Acorns makes it easy to start automatically saving and investing so your money has a chance to grow for you, your kids, and your retirement.
Starting point is 00:44:39 You don't need to be an expert. Acorns will recommend a diversified portfolio that fits you and your money goals. And most importantly, you don't need to be an expert. Acorns will recommend a diversified portfolio that fits you and your money goals. And most importantly, you don't need to be rich. Acorns lets you invest with the spare money you've got right now. You can start with $5 or even just your spare change. It really is easy too. It takes five minutes to set your account up, pick your specifics and get going. Once you're started, Acorns will handle the tough stuff and start helping you save. Head to acorns.com slash freedom or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future today. Paid client endorsement compensation
Starting point is 00:45:10 provides incentive to positively promote Acorns. Tier one compensation provided investing involves risk. Acorn advisors LLC and SEC registered investment advisor view important disclosures at acorns.com slash podcarrosh. Hi, I'm Emily Deschanel. And I'm Carla Gallo, and we're here to bring you- Boneheads! The official Bones rewatch podcast. 16 years ago, we met on the set of the TV show Bones and have been friends ever since.
Starting point is 00:45:38 I played Dr. Temperance Brennan. And I played Daisy Wick. We're starting from the top and working our way through all 246 episodes. The show last a very long time. Very long. Tune in every Wednesday to laugh with us, to cry with us, to cringe with us, and hear all our juicy behind the scenes stories.
Starting point is 00:45:58 Boneheads from Lemonada Media is out now wherever you get your podcasts. Here we go. Here we go. Freedom. Freedom. You said threedom. I did? Oh, you stinker. I must have been being silly. I said threedomium. Oh no. I was so worried. We don't know how to do this show. Welcome to threemium.
Starting point is 00:46:33 This is one of our little mini episodes where we take a voicemail and it prompts a fun discussion. Or a sad one. That's true. How many have we done that have been super sad? Two. Yeah. Yeah. Sad to you. Like we were having fun. Just super sad? Two. Yeah. Yeah. Sad to you.
Starting point is 00:46:46 Like we were having fun. Just to me. Just to me. Yeah. Yeah. No, you guys are a great song. By the way, you have seasonal depression. Depressing love. Yeah. Not actually like sad. Yeah. All four seasons. I have sad. They all bum me out. What's more depressing than spring? All right. So we're going to play this, this little voicemail. This someone left us and you can leave us these voicemails at hagclames8.com.
Starting point is 00:47:16 Hagclames8.com. And so here we go. Let's hear what this person has to say. This little light of mine. I'm gonna let it shine. I'm gonna let it shine. I think I like this little light. For some reason it's not playing, I wonder why. I wonder, I guess if you did it right, it would work. Oh, wow, Loris.
Starting point is 00:47:39 Coming at ya. What a roost, you really roosted him. I know, it was crazy. Boy, how terrible would it be for this person if they never got to hear their voicemail? It feels like it's right there and we just gotta hit play. But they don't know which person they are. I'm hitting play.
Starting point is 00:47:53 They don't know which person they are. That's true. But then we just never play it. I am hitting play, but it's just sitting there. Is it on fucking mute or some shit? No, it's just, no, it's sitting there, it won't play. Oh no. It's just sitting there, it won't advance, it won't play. Oh no. It's just sitting there. It won't advance.
Starting point is 00:48:05 It won't play. No, we need it to advance and play. It won't. I know. What is this, the fucking Peacock app? Yeah, seriously. I can tell you what their question is, or I could try to play another one.
Starting point is 00:48:15 Try to play another one. I guess that's probably what we should do. Okay, let me try to play a different one. If you are the hag that left that, we will try to get to it later. I've decided that the people who leave voice files are hags. That's what POOG listeners are called. Is that true? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:30 Well, then I've decided something else. Hag claimers. What the heck is happening here? Claimers. Yeah. These won't play either. Oh, no. Oh, the whole premise of this. Let's just talk about what this person's question was.
Starting point is 00:48:44 Because there's a little subject line that tells me what, what the question is. This little subject line. Okay. So Gina asks us and so sorry. Damn Gina. Damn Gina. So sorry that we can't hear your actual voice, Gina. Yeah. But asks when did you... So sorry, I made a joke that you've heard all your life probably,
Starting point is 00:49:05 or maybe from the nineties on she could have been born in the eighties and had a sweet 10 years. We're in the fifties for all we know. Yeah. For all we know, for all we care too. She could be 106 years old. We care to know honestly, if she was 106, I would care. Yeah. I'd like to know if we have any listeners who are over 100 years old, he's 100. I don't care. But if you're over 100, I want to know if we have any listeners who are over 100 years old. If you're 100, I don't care. But if you're over 100, I want to know. I want to know if you're over 90.
Starting point is 00:49:30 Wow. Okay, Scott. I want to know if you're over $1. Okay. Gina asks, I'm going to try to play it one more time, but it's not playing. Someone told me the website was down. Had claims it was having issues. It was for a while. We cleared them up.
Starting point is 00:49:50 Too much traffic? I think so. This is a different issue. This is a drop box issue. Perhaps. Kind of like Ralph. Yeah, why did he do that? He wrecked it. Or Kim Kardashian's behind
Starting point is 00:50:11 That really break the internet now just a bunch of people looked at it. Yeah, I was like, yeah I guess I don't remember there being any problem with any of my usual website the weather channel so forth and so on Okay, so Gina asks when did you start drinking coffee? Great question. Great question. Well, as we all know, I don't drink it. Okay, well, not such a great question. So I guess I'm out. And you've never drank it?
Starting point is 00:50:32 I've had one sip. One sip when? We talked about this on our Pepsi challenge episode. I had one sip. Of every caffeinated beverage. No, it was a couple of episodes before that. Cause I'm now the editor. Stop listening to this.
Starting point is 00:50:44 So I'm deeply familiar editor. Stop listening to this. So I'm deeply familiar with what we talk about. I had one sip and just to, you know, just to say I'd try it, but it smells good. I don't think I enjoyed the taste. That was probably 15 years ago. I don't know. Because sometimes some people like it better with like cream and sugar. It was how that person made it.
Starting point is 00:51:07 So I don't know what was in it. But it wasn't black. Well, it might've been. Did it seem very dark when you looked at it? Let me tell you something. I don't remember. I took a sip of something. Okay.
Starting point is 00:51:20 15 years ago, I remember everything about it. Okay, Lauren. By the way. Okay. You remembered the exact timeframe. I thought maybe you had some more details. Okay, no, I don't. Speaking of coffee being black, anytime I watch a movie and there's someone drunk and they go, put on a pot of coffee black. I'm like, it's not gonna make someone less drunk by adding some cream
Starting point is 00:51:39 and sugar. But the pot is inherently black. You don't put the milk into the pot. Well, they or they say, get me some coffee black. The adding cream and sugar is not going to like make them drunker. You know what I mean? Like, no, let them enjoy, let this drunk person enjoy the coffee they want to drink, you know, the way they want to drink. I think that well, first of all, if you're doing that, you're not in the business of letting the drunk person enjoy anything. Otherwise, you just let them be drunk. Well, this is the thing that we found out, you know, when I was growing up in health class is they were saying like, I grew up in health class.
Starting point is 00:52:10 Yeah, they raised me. That was my education. I just remember very well. I grew up health class. I remember I heard about the vast deference. It was no looking back. I remember very distinctly the health teacher talking about the fact that coffee does not affect your drunk levels.
Starting point is 00:52:24 If you give, if you give a drunk person coffee, you will now just have a wide awake drunk person. Well, I guess that's what they want. Um, but also they're trying to say in movies, they're trying to say like, let's sober this guy up, get him some coffee. Of course, of course, of course. Of course. When did you guys have your first coffee?
Starting point is 00:52:39 I also think we're talking about something. I think they also say black because it's the bitterness of the coffee will help. Make them go, ew. Yeah. It's a little punishment. Snap them out of it. Ouch, I don't like it.
Starting point is 00:52:54 I remember tasting coffee, my dad's coffee when I was a little kid and I did not like it. And I did not like coffee flavored things. And then when I started working on Mr. Show, I started drinking black coffee. Ah. And then when I started working on Mr. Show, I started drinking black coffee. And then I drank it so much that I had to stop drinking it. Cause it was making me crazy. Was it because of the hours or like wanting to be awake or it was wanting to be
Starting point is 00:53:15 awake. Yeah. And then I really liked the way the hours were like 1130. So it's like, and yet we all were still tired. Our hours at home were not. You woke up at 11. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like, and yet we all were still tired. Well, because our hours at home were not. You woke up at 11. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then I drank it so much that it was making me so jittery. I stopped for a long time. And then I started again,
Starting point is 00:53:42 like 10 years later, something like that. And I drink it, I drink it black. I drink two cups in the morning. The end. The end. And do you love it? I do love it. And do you feel good?
Starting point is 00:53:56 I do and I knew that I would. Cause you know, I sometimes think, oh, maybe this would be helpful to me in my life. But then I think I've been just raw dog in life, you know, forever. I just, I just get up, you know, if I have to get up at four, I'm up at four. You know, I just do the thing. I wonder if it's a psychological just thing. I don't know. I do think that it's a, it's a, uh, you become dependent on it. And if you stop doing it, you would be miserable for a while and then you would just be normal again.
Starting point is 00:54:30 Yeah. But I wonder if it actually does it. I think it helps because sometimes when I'll have a coffee in the afternoon sometimes, then I can't get to sleep at night. So I stopped doing that. So I may have told this story already, but Janie and I were in New York last year and we went out to dinner with friends. And for some reason, we never do this. But the server asked if we wanted coffee after dinner. And I think we all got coffee. And then we were awake for hours. And it took us so long to realize, oh, it was the coffee. Yeah. We, we, because we never do that.
Starting point is 00:55:06 And I don't know why we did it that night. It just, it sounded good. Yeah. It sounded good. Do you ever do decaf? No, can't do that. Just doesn't sound good. Doesn't sound good.
Starting point is 00:55:16 We, does it taste different? I know. I feel like coffee tastes different to me after the morning. How do they get the calf out of the beans? I don't know, man. They suck it out. Some guys suck it out. Like snake poison. That was good. I let me try to play this one, by the way.
Starting point is 00:55:36 No, my God. When do you get into coffee? So I never even drank it. It had no effect on my life at all. I was like a soda person. Up till probably when you just said Mr. Show, I then flashed back to the fact that we would go to that 7-Eleven on the way to the office every single morning, get a big, like it wasn't big gulp size necessarily, but it was like a big thing of coffee, pour a bunch of cream into it, pour a bunch of sugar into it, and then get a package of those chocolate donuts. And every single day. And I wondered why I gained weight. I used to love those chocolate, like the Entenmann's. Yeah. Yeah. Those little guys like those like
Starting point is 00:56:19 frosted, but then they give like a film on your roof of your mouth. Yeah. But it was always like, Oh, those are so good. Yeah. I love them. But they're very easy to eat. So then I don't even think that like Starbucks was necessarily too popular. I think it started becoming popular in the mid nineties, but it still hadn't like permeated my life or whatever.
Starting point is 00:56:38 So then I think when once that started happening in the late nineties, then it was like, Oh, okay. And then, and then we lived when we live by that Trader Joe's, it was also by Coffee Bean. There was a reason to walk the dogs every day. It was like, let's go down to the Coffee Bean. I would think the shit in the piss would be the reason. Oh, that's right. I thought that was secondary to me though. I, yeah, I think I like the ritual. Also my dogs are shit in piss. These dogs are on their own. Mike is very into coffee and he has like a whole system for making it with the Chemex and all this stuff. He was doing a hand grinder for a long time and then we got like a smeg grinder as like a special treat.
Starting point is 00:57:14 And he was like, well, this is amazing because it takes one second to grind. And it was so nice. A hand grinder. I know it was so. The fuck? I don't know. It was just what it was. was you also building a wooden boy that he hopes will become real He is working on that how'd you know I'm I'm so sorry he's out doing that every day He's got one foot done It looks perfect though. Um, I never liked Starbucks because I drink my coffee black, right? Yeah, do you and your significant other have the same coffee habits though?
Starting point is 00:57:48 No, we do not. She takes it with milk and I do not. And she drinks it every day? We both drink it every day. So you make a pot or do you have like the- Make a pot. Do you have like the little pods? No, no, no, we make a pot.
Starting point is 00:58:02 We do the pods. Yeah. Because we, well, I do the pods and Cool Up has an espresso machine that she uses. So we do very different things. I remember, was it espresso? I thought had more caffeine in it, but it doesn't. Oh, it doesn't.
Starting point is 00:58:17 Oh, good for them. No. But it's just less, you drink less. Yeah. But you get the same caffeine. But for some reason, I always thought it was that that it was if you wanted to like, you know, wake up or whatever. But isn't it kind of like that because it's like, it's the volume of the drink has as much as a cup of coffee. I don't think so.
Starting point is 00:58:37 Oh, I don't think so. So even though you're drinking less, so you're drinking less caffeine because you're drinking less. You're basically just drinking a sip of coffee. Yeah, I don't believe it. I don't think that this is true. So you're drinking less caffeine because you're drinking less. You're basically just drinking like a sip of coffee. Yeah. I don't believe it. I don't think that this is true. All right. Well, I'm not going to look it up. Look it up.
Starting point is 00:58:51 I don't want. OK. Why not? It's what we're talking about. And look it up on YouTube so we can hear the ad. I just want to hear what kind of depressing ad they're going to play before. Tired of cancer?
Starting point is 00:59:01 I know. It was every time. Oh my god. Tired of cancer? I know, it was every time. Oh my God. Is two shots of espresso a lot of coffee is one thing I've found. That's not how you would phrase that.
Starting point is 00:59:13 Is two shots of espresso a lot of coffee? Well, I mean, okay, do you wanna know the answer? 63 milligrams, there. Does that satisfy you? So no comparison to anything else? It doesn't make any sense. How much do you want me to say in comparison to this? Yes, I do.
Starting point is 00:59:31 This is getting so resistant to this. This is being so specific. Yeah, that's the whole point. Espresso typically has 63 milligrams of caffeine in one ounce. By contract, regular coffee, by contrast, has 12 to 16 milligrams of caffeine in one ounce by contract regular coffee by contrast has 12 to 16 milligrams of caffeine in every ounce so it's only like four or five times the amount of caffeine in espresso in espresso yeah has four four times the amount of coffee uh regular cup of coffee it has five or six times the amount of caffeine. I got steered wrong.
Starting point is 01:00:05 Yeah. Somebody told me a fib. Somebody really lied to you. Somebody once told me there's less coffee than espresso. Speaking of Entenmann's. Oh, okay. This was my treat when I was a broke young man. Oh my God, yes.
Starting point is 01:00:22 I would get that fucking- That sheet cake? Not the sheet cake. That fucking rocked. I would get that fucking- That sheet cake? Not the sheet cake. That fucking rocked. I would get that cheese danish log, that plank of cheese danish, and I would make it last for as long as I possibly could, which was maybe three days.
Starting point is 01:00:36 Yeah. I loved the donut selection. I also loved the sheet cake. I had a roommate who would sometimes eat my cake. Oh fuck, I remember that chocolate frosted cake. Yes. Yes. I think one time she ate the whole thing
Starting point is 01:00:50 and I was like, what? The whole thing. She just like took it. Like with her hands. And I was just like, that was mine, no. You know, I really needed that. I hate this person. I do too.
Starting point is 01:01:03 You don't need to. Really? I can let that go? I think you can let it person. I do too. You don't need to really I can let that go I think you can let it go I get to I haven't seen her in years. I hope you never see her again All right, other with them in hell. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'll see her in hell where she's gonna eat a cheesecake forever And you're on the other end, but it wasn't that big actually was really like the size of a book Still I mean you're you're miming something that is not book shaped right this But it wasn't that big actually, it was really like the size of a book. Still! I mean... You're miming something that is not book shaped right now.
Starting point is 01:01:28 This? Oh, I guess that is... In your fucking face! I couldn't see the other part of your hand, but it looked like you were miming a snake. Oh my gosh! So you were saying, I couldn't see what you were doing, but the thing you were doing didn't look like the thing and it's like, but you couldn't see it. Okay, we're going. Bye.
Starting point is 01:01:50 This message is sponsored by Kologard. Because of my own health journey, increasing awareness around the importance of colon cancer screening is a mission close to my heart. And one common misconception about screening for colon cancer is that you should start at age 50. But in actuality, if you're at average risk, the recommended age to start screening is 45. And a great use at home option to screen for colon cancer is with the Coligar test. The Coligar test is a non-invasive, effective and affordable prescription-based, use at home colon cancer screening test that looks for both abnormal DNA and blood in your stool. What I really love about the Coligar test is that it gives the option to screen your
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Starting point is 01:03:11 Coligard prescription today at coligard.com slash podcast. Do not use the Coligard test if you've had adenomas, have inflammatory bowel disease and certain hereditary syndromes or a personal or family history of colorectal cancer. False positive and negative results may occur. Any positive result should be followed by a colonoscopy, not a replacement for colonoscopy in high-risk patients. The Hi, everyone. Gloria Riviera here, and we are back for another season of No One Is Coming to Save Us, a podcast about America's child care crisis. This season, we're delving deep into five critical issues facing our country through the lens of child care, poverty, mental health, housing, climate change, and the public school system. By exploring these connections, we aim to highlight that childcare is not an isolated issue but one that influences all facets of American life.
Starting point is 01:04:12 Season 4 of No One is Coming to Save Us is out now wherever you get your podcasts.

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