Threedom - Threevisiting: 1+1=1

Episode Date: July 4, 2023

Threevisiting on the Tues: Scott, Paul, and Lauren discuss who they would like to be sponsored by, being punished for misspelling words, and play the game Carmela & Livia. Follow us on social media @threedomusa. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail]. Leave us a voicemail at 424-252-4678 (HAG-CLAIMS-8).

3D! Hey guys, what are we tapping today? 3D! What's the name of the show again? I think it's 3D! Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Welcome to Australia. Really good, Didgerie Door. Do one, Lauren.

Do a Didgerie Door. Oh, wow. You look like you're sucking it. My car alarm. You know. Scotch. What? The strict one.

Well, it's because we do. How many strikes do I get? 10. Okay. Scott was just speaking to Todd so he thinks he can speak to me that way. Oh, Todd and I are two very different people. And I'm really happy about it.

Todd is your real personality. That Lauren does on Netflix is the characters. That's true, which Scott and the Roy. I watched it. Yeah. He'll never compliment me on it. I think I got a thanks at it. Yeah, but so.

Thanks. Wait, did you get what? I think I got a thanks to it. Yeah, but so. Thanks. Wait, did you get what? I think I got a thanks to- We got a thanks because we talked at some point. Because I read the script or something. And he told me to fuck off. Yeah. I told you to fuck off.

Where's my thanks? What a world we live in. What a world. Welcome to the show. Welcome to the show. This is Threedom. I'm Scott. I'm Scott.

I'm Scott. And we're all Scots. And that's why I've told Threedom. Thre's Scott. I'm Paul. I'm Scott. And we're all Scots, and that's why it's called Freedom. Three Scott. I'm Paul seriously. Seriously, you're Paul. And seriously, I'm obviously the woman. And the rest.

Yeah. The woman. I'm the rest. The woman. Do you want Paul and the rest? Do you think we should make it for them and get another woman in here? Would that make you more comfortable?

Yeah, I honestly feel really uncomfortable lately, just with the outweigh the scales. Well, also we're super alpha. We're both super alpha. Here's what I'm getting. You, Kevin. Oh, I forgot he was here. Paul, I'm starting to run by Paul, Kevin, Scott, and Ryan. And there's a lot of male energy. to be fair, Ryan to the separate room.

And that's the only thing making me feel safe because I'm walking in the right as Ryan is the problem. Ryan is very aggressive. He's very aggressive. We went on tour together. Ryan was on almost a 100% of the tour with us. And he was so angry and screaming the entire time. It was uncomfortable.

He started every day asking us about our sex lives. And then everything was really uncomfortable and pushed us to our edge. And he would just say, do a better show tonight. Tonight, I think you should do one that was good. You know, and it was just a lot of hurtful comments like that. Any updates on that sex life?

Yeah. Make the audience come. And then when we're all trying to say, we're on tour, we're not having sex right now. And you would just say, well, you got any updates? It was really weird. Do you know anybody who's having sex right now? Anyway, call us, I'll guide you.

Any updates on that sex life guy? Hey, do you jerk off today guy? Yeah. It was a lot of the video. It was a lot of video. It was a lot of video. It was a lot of video. It was a lot of video.

It was a lot of video. It was a lot of video. It was a lot of video. It was a lot of video. It was a lot of video. It was a lot of video. It was a lot of video. It was a lot of video.

It was a lot of video. It was a lot of video. It was a lot of video. It was a lot of video. It was a lot of video. It was a lot of video. It was a lot of video. Drinking off all We would look Hello, he'd be like What he asked about sexy did the jerk off motion which is I want to say something. Yeah, say it say Testify I have to say something Please please I'm trying to get everyone's attention for Lauren. Please cough while I'm talking So you said you didn't want to say. You say fuck you. You said only talk when you want to.

You say you didn't want Kevin Ticket's bank, but you want to scream about Ryan being aggressive and talking about drinking off and that one's fine. Okay, that was good. We're going to try to get I would say just tighten up those lyrics just a little bit. Okay, try to make it a little more universal, is she good? Hey, what are you doing there?

I only need you. You should be in the booth, please. Shit, this is the problem. All right, see, I think I had it, but you guys, we're in red. I'm back in the, I'm back in the booth.

Go. You say, I only piss when I want to. You. Is that universal? Wow, everyone pisses, I like it. Cut, friends. No, but you're not sad, I only do it when I want to. Is that universal? Wow, everyone pisses, I like it. Come on, man. You're not that only do it when I watch it. Peepy.

Mm-hmm. Me me, me me. I'm a sick person. Peepy, I'm me me. Oh, boy. I think it's fun because we're coming off of you just did another podcast, I believe. This is my third podcast of the day

soon to be fourth and I just did a little bit of improvisation Right now, I mean, it's tough coming down from a great podcast appearance coming off that high is like nothing I've ever experienced You're just you're just high. That's why I'm always chasing the hat. It's the most like toxic medium. It truly is, unlike anything else. Unlike anything else.

Or radio, I guess. No. It's just like radio. Because radio, you have to do... Radio, you're censored by the man. You're censored by the man. Radio, radio. You're doing those ads, you know,

for the local card dealership or whatever. Yeah, and here's all my clip. It's all like, oh, I wish I could get a quip. Oh, I see. Never did a quip ad. Never did a quip? No, I've done a quip ad. No, I've done a quip ad.

I've done, I wonder if I set a record for Lisa mattress ads. I do feel like you exclusively do Lisa. I think because exclusively, there were my only sponsor for the end of my podcast. Who knows what sponsors we have today? This is exciting. Wait, wait, wait. The guy in the break to find out. Oh, yeah, we won't find out for a long time.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm so sad about that. I want to know now. I want to know our sponsors now. It's the most exciting part of podcasting. It really is. What I love is getting those pieces of paper and looking at them and seeing how that's who my sponsor is.

That's good stuff. Really relatable to I feel everyone out there is nodding their head. Everyone should have a sponsor. Everyone should. My friend Jim. If you were who's your friend Jim. Oh, I can't say. Oh, no, it's Bill. You don't know. I was Jim Bill W. Bill W. Your friend of bills. Yes. If you had a sponsor in real life and you had to kind of like wear a jacket that said they're a thing on it, what would it be? Charmin. Everybody goes. Dirty Charmin. I love those bears. Oh Man, there's so much to be one of the

The I said it No, I never Rates by TV. Oh my god I did send in a voice over audition to be Multi-bear has the bears ever spoken. Oh, they speak all the time. Oh, they talk too much frankly I was I think I auditioned for the mom and the baby Filthy

That's because you're not using a good wipe I think I auditioned for the mom and the baby. Your ass is filthy. Please, if you like that. Because you're not using a good wipe. Yeah, I would have loved it though. The rules of the bears, they're all over the place and it makes me very angry. What are the rules of the bears? Can I have a drink? I don't know.

I don't know the Charmin bears. Can you roll, please? Thank you very much, Logan. Okay, here we go. I know some rolls about them. Look at them, typing. This should be it. This should be it. This should be I know some rules about them. Look at that typing. This should be at the ready all the time.

Seven. You need to be spanked. You need to be spanked. And you need to be spanked. Look under your chairs. You got spanked. All right, the real world of the Charmin Bears. They live in the woods.

They don't wear clothes. Do they ship there? They don't wear clothes. But they do have clothes in their hair. Now they live in a house. Now they do have clothes. Do they ship there? They don't wear clothes. But they do have bows in their hair. Now they live in a house. Now they do have clothes. Yep. They have toilet paper stuck to their butt

because it's a cheap brand. Why do they have clothes? Like suddenly they realize these anthropomorphic bears were nude and they had to put clothes on them? I bet people got uncomfortable because the society can't handle... Bear Dick! The dick was straight up bear in a human! Exactly! If you're thinking about them in the woods, you should try the paper.

They're not that much different from us, and what do we do? We fuck! And at that point, it's great! Get out of here! Don't let him grab the mic! Why? Don't be a bear, because you're gonna have to wipe with your ass in the air! Two, don't wear a shirt, because you are a bear! Oh, here's a shirt!

You're supposed to pick it up, man Oh sorry just enjoy it. Get off your phone. I love it. Well look I have I'm juggling a lot. I got you Charmin on. What did you say? Did you say hi? Charmin on my butt. I must started juggling during their shows guys. I'm Charmin on my butt. All right, we're all talking about the big difference. Charmin on my butt. Well, touch the seat. Touch the seat. Touch the seat. Do you think Charmin's ever gonna hire you if they hear this?

He's gonna give me a ton of ads for me right now. When the toilet paper was... I love Charmin, I use it. I love it. Didn't you say it was a cheap brand not seconds ago? No, I said the bears have pairs in their butt because they're not using Charmin and they learn. Oh, I see. I mean, the bears when they had the pieces of toilet paper stuck to their fucking bear asses. Yeah, it was all over their ass. I mean, that's seriously. What is that piece

on your part of the Charmin? Yeah. It's part of the Charmin. That they had toilet paper stuck to their ass. You know what's incredible is that somewhere in the halls of Charmin floor. It's part of the Charmin. Lawyer that they had toilet paper stuck to their ass. You know what's incredible is that somewhere in the halls of Charmin when they tell this deal. And this is what that is. Like it's there's somewhere where like there is that story on the wall and like all the people who worked there know it intimately like carved into the wall. And they got a white board and they're like, okay, so this time and everyone knows what the Charmin bears would or wouldn't do. Well, the Charmin. Like the mom would never say that. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Nothing's off limits. They could do anything. Can they? We're going to find out. They after the break. Here's. All right, when we come back, that was the whole first part. I want to know why they don't really talk about the wet wipes. And also, here's the way the bears.

The bears don't talk about what they talk about. Why would they talk about what? Because they have a brand of wet. Oh, Sherman does. I'm assuming, right? The bears. The bears don't talk about why, why would they talk about what? Because they have a brand of what what? Oh, Sharman does, I'm assuming, right? Well, I think I, but I know you're just assuming. No, I'm pretty sure I have that brand and they have the bears on them, but I have to tell you,

so this is a PSA to everybody out there. By the way, listen up. Right behind me lit up so bright, I was like, what's going on? It's Sharman.com and there's a, the Sharman on the top of my family. There's a television behind me apparently. Oh my God, there are two families, Paul.

There's a blue family. The red and the blue. What about the brown family? So wait, is the red? Are there more primitives than the... The ultra strong family. Now, here's what I need to say. The red family works out a lot, even though they have glasses and look like nerds.

What is going on with these people? But the mom and the daughter have bows on both families. Okay, so let me tell you... The two genders. You cannot flush what baby rules. Rules, do rules. Come on, Kevin. These are the rules about white wipes.

Okay, I need to learn some white wipes. No, wait, the rules went away. Okay, one. Change the tab. You cannot flush wet wipes. They make you think you can. What? You should do with them. Wrap them some tea pants. Seven toilets. Seven in a toilet.

Seven in a toilet? Seven in a toilet? Trash cans. Okay. Did you guys ever hear that about Terrence Howard? Terrence House? Yeah, what about him? Terrence House. First of all, he didn't think one plus one equal to. No, he was mistaken about that. Yeah, I know he was. What did he say? He said, when you really think about it, one plus one actually probably equals one. When you think about it, and he had like a piece of sculpture in his house that that

illustrated the fact somehow. But like, did you, did anyone ever pick two? One piece of sculpture and go named one plus one. No, he had a whole theory about it. He was like, when you really, really take a look at it, it makes more sense that it equals one. How stone was he? I don't know.

This is an interview. Who is that? What was his dear? The rumor about him was he would only be with if a lady was, if he was to be with a lady. This is allegedly, by the way, we don't know anything about it. Allegedly, please don't take me to court for saying that. I thought that was he that the ladies must use only wet wipes while they were at his house. Oh my God, was his pipes is clogged.

His pipes is so wait, if you have wet wipes back there, you're supposed to like suddenly you have shit everywhere in there, you're supposed to like suddenly you have shit everywhere in your in your house. I would suggest you wipe enough with a dry that there's no shit on the wet. And then what's going to be on the wet then? Any of the whole point of it. It's a clean residue is shit. Residue is shit. Residue is shit. Residue is shit. This can't wait. Let's get rid of the time. What is it do with shit? What is it do with shit? This can't be the time.

This can't be the time. I know it's tempting, but they can't be. Anyway, look, I had been doing it for years and Eliza Skinner tweeted about it and I looked into it, facts are facts and. Did it ever clog your toilet? What's the fact? That you're not supposed to flush it.

It did clog your toilet. It did clog your toilet. A new place that I moved into. Every toilet you've ever had, you were just clogging it up with your shit wet wipes every single day. I don't use them that regularly, but some people to use them every day.

I don't want to get into my use. I don't want to get into when I use them. But I'm gonna say, do you like going, do you like shitting? What are you gonna ask me? Outside of that house better, like in public restrooms or do you like it?

Why would I like that more? No, no, no, we have a good person. I don't know what you like. Like maybe that's like a fetish. Maybe around Mike, you don't want to do it all the time. Yeah, it's fine. It's all right. I think if your relationship has rules where it's discontinued.

What, you got to play new rules. I was just going to say, come on, Shevin. I think if your partner makes you feel bad for taking a shit, you got to work that out because that is a bodily function. It's weird, yeah. And is that a thing that happens? Uh-huh. Wait, isn't it really?

Is it really bad for you? I know people who shame each other or have to leave or do something and it's a whole thing. Leave like an apartment or, oh my gosh. Or they prefer that you do it somewhere else. Okay. It's very out of rollin'. I don't approve of that. I mean, if it's a tiny, if it's a tiny,

I knew someone who... If it's a tiny. If it's a tiny, I knew someone who in their master bedroom at this house they were renting, they had the bed, right? And then there was a tiny... Long. Maybe you call it a pony wall, like a tiny wall that's about like this high and the

truly what it's called and the toilet, the toilet was on the opposite side of the pony wall next to the bed. That's just that's that's weird. It's horrible. What who on earth? Who on earth and that's pony wall, not toilet wall. In that in that situation, I'm sure I would be like, look, can you go elsewhere? Do you need to be shitting right next to the bed? That's disgusting. And I did say that. That's like a weird hotel. Once I stayed at a hotel with Aaron Whitehead, we were sharing a room.

We were somewhere for wild horses. And the bad, that's so fucking way. The bathroom. And not because I'm here, Paul. The bathroom had no door on the, like the tour. I had a shower. I didn't have a door. And so then we were like, can you not look at me while I shower? You don't have to go somewhere, but can you just never turn around? Yeah, that's the whole thing about hotels these days. Don't turn around. I'll see my naked

butt. The, oh. The things about hotels these days is, and Kool-Affin, I've been traveling a bit, they all have these like windows into the shower, like everyone goes to hotels for sexy time or something. I know, and sometimes you wanna be alone. Like, even if you are doing that, like then you want a moment of privacy while you take a shit.

They have glass doors into the, you know, they have a separate toilet room But there's a glass door as well. What is the fucking problem here? It should always be a room that can be closed off Yeah, and it should also have a vent Yeah That's going boom, boom, boom, make some noise Got a shit Bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, What if you guys confessed to each other later? Like I spy on you. Hey, I had to tell you I peaked on you. We would never.

We would never. We would absolutely never. Yeah, I don't like it. No. So how's all your friends seen you naked? Oh, you're fun. I'm trying to think of a single one who has. Is that a, that's, I What? What? What? What? What?

What? Is that a, that's, I mean, is that common with women? I would say that. I'm incredibly uncommon because if you go, so I don't know, going to a spa or something. Yeah. Well, Kulappa's telling me the other day that she was at a spa here in town.

And she saw, and it must be an old friend of ours. And they were running into someone. And were both naked and it's like, hello, hello. And that's we I don't want to do that. I want to I do like those spas, but I I either go with a my best friend, right? Yeah. As I know who she is.

It's a great school friend. Great school. Sorry alone, but I don't want you to know anyone and the idea of knowing running into someone where you're not expecting it is weird. That's why I just like, you gotta go to a spa that's at least like an hour and 15 minutes away. That's a hassle.

I would never do, I don't like to do public nude things, spa stuff like that. Part of it, first of all, because I have deep shame, but secondly, just about being a human. I hate it. But secondly, I tend to get, I don't get recognized all the time. I get recognized in weird places. I tend to get erections. I do get recognized in new places. I get recognized in a nude spa once in Santa Fe.

Oh, shit. I found it extremely uncomfortable. Like the person said, hey, are you learning like this? They were staring at me long enough and then knew I knew what it was happening. Like it was a nut, you don't stare at anyone in that environment. Yes, what do they recognize you from?

From the look on their eye, the ears orange is the new black. Okay, that's better. From the year I would say it was orange's new black. That's probably better than like it being somebody who listens to this show. That's not what I found it. Way worse. It's all women. I think it'd be way worse. I would never ever. I mean, I even want to discuss that. Imagine a woman listen to this. I know. Can you? Come on. We

have plenty of women. We're getting around. Will you please make the Charmaine Bears go away from the TV? They're right behind me. Are they? They feel like Billy Crystal, but it cuts to from the TV. Yeah, but they're right behind me, aren't they? Fine, they knew it all. They feel like Billy Crystal. But it cuts to the new rules, kids' butt kids. Wait, why do you feel like Billy Crystal? Didn't he have that cash raise? They're right behind me, aren't they? He's right behind me, isn't he?

From Monster's Inc. He would do it in movies and stuff. He's right behind me, isn't it? Monster's Inc. It probably is. No, there's something. Look up, Billy Crystal. He's right behind me, isn't he?

It's just a fun. This is a fun. He's right behind me, isn't he? I love when the point here is things are going wrong. I'm pretty sure he's right behind me, isn't he? It's just fun. This is the fun, he's right behind me, isn't he? I love when the one here is going wrong. I'm pretty sure he's going wrong. Because I love doing it to other people, but it's very fun. Do you actually like it? No, yeah, because I do it to other people all the time and I sometimes feel like it can't be mean,

but I don't mean it me. Yes. And so when someone does it to me, I feel like, City Slicker! That's monster slicker. City, the slickest of cities my number one guy. What is that from Batman Batman? Yeah, you're my number one I did a table read with Billy Crystal from new movie he was doing and I don't know if it ever happened Hmm, I know what's it gonna be in it, but I was just there for a table

Explain why anyone would ever do a table read for a movie that you are not going to be in. Well, because why they have it first of all? Well, why they have it is because they want to hear it out loud. And then they don't know who they're going to cast, but then they, But I've never understood why an actor would come to us. Oh, why I would do it.

Yeah. Oh, because then I get to meet all these people. Like for me, it's good because I, then I got to meet Billy Crystal and show him that I did a good job. So then if it ever comes up that there is some other thing, maybe they'll think of me. But that's the weird part. It's like all these actors go to these table reads and do these

parts under the under the knowing they know that they're not going to get these roles. Yes, they're under that knowing. But the thing is maybe they make an impression on somebody and I got homes and Watson from being on the table read. And how did that work? Oh, you're f**king right. Oh, you're f**king right. So who's making videos? Do not affect my page yet. They don't?

Well, maybe later. I got asked who's the, oh, you're a Zidia Bulls silent. Hey, we can talk. But you know, here's one thing about Scott. Really quickly, Scott loves to rub failures in the face of people No, let's list your failures No, what? What?

Hold it while it's on I truly I you love it What do you love it? When have I ever done it? You like to do a little roast You love to roast When have I ever what are you I don't even know your other failures? I don't need to tell them

Don't tell them because you have already roasted them What I'm not even look how good you are I'm not even name a thing you've ever been in okay, that's you that's a really rude one But I'm not doing that and you know what I support everyone and I think everyone's great It is true Lauren does support everyone. And I think it's rest that you think they are all great. You probably I hear you were very funny in homes and watching. I just haven't seen it yet. I was I was on the fence. Do I buy it? Do I rent it? Oh, you know what? I'll lend you my DVD. You have a DVD. You

have it in the mail. Actually, a messenger dropped it off. Everyone's that behind the scenes. Hollywood. Just did a little drop off. Yeah, I thought it was very. Zach tried to give me Zach Elven, I just tried to give me a blue raise of a wrinkle in time. Is he on that? Yeah, they dropped like five off his house. Yeah, I have to see that. No one's ever given me a copy of it.

Well, I've never had a substantial role in anything. I guess that's why. I got a copy of Sharktail. Somebody come walk over and give me a DVD. I thought it was a little bit much It's a bit a little bit extra I'll take it pretty random As we all know I don't want to spend $20. I don't have to spend so I was happy to have it It's a DVD not a blue ray. It was DVD. I don't have a blue ray standard definition

Yeah, I borrowed his blue ray play in my Xbox? Yeah, I don't know. But tell you what, I'll borrow it, and I'll let you know what I think. I don't want you to watch it. Why? Um, a fan! No, no, it's totally fine. You sound like a real fan. Yeah, I'm a fan of Laura.

What do you mean? I don't know. As if Lauren offers me a DVD. I would rather you watch the, like, you did come to the unicorn. You supported me. Yes, I went to the You did high Because it was a madhouse there with all your friends. No, I'm not trying to shame you. I said I didn't I Not send you an email you did the morning after I was actually really surprised that you came and so I'm

Trying to give you credit now. Okay, the other side of the coin is that you actually are very supportive You I sent you a very nice email about it to look to give you credit now, okay. The other side of the coin is that you actually are very supportive. I sent you a very nice email about it to let you know I was there. But it was very nice that you came and it meshed a lot. And all you wrote back was, I knew you were there. Can I ask a question?

Who gives a shit? Wow. What are your thoughts on this and being supportive and what are your thoughts on Scott? Oh, I have not. My stance on being supportive, it's very specific. I think that Scott is very supportive.

He wants, well, when he chooses to be, he wants. And I choose to be all the time. Scott is very supportive. He, I remember him saying, I remember him saying that he's on his show, he said, I will text people to say they did a good job in something if I see it. But he doesn't, that doesn't mean he sees everything. No, of course, I can't see everything, but it's always, if I ever see a friend in a, in

a TV show or a movie, I'll usually text them right away to say, Hey, you're a good job. And I do that as well. Me too. And I also like just going on my way to watch people on stuff. And I feel that there are a lot of people in our community who actively don't. Yes. I think you and I probably watch people we know and stuff more than most people. I still think it's neat. Yeah, it is. Like there's no need to be that episode of Lucifer.

Oh my god, I thought that was so funny. You watched that. Oh, you are Lucifer. Oh, wait, did I see that? I don't know. I think I did. Honestly, one of the weirdest things I've ever done. It's totally worth checking out. I think I fast forwarded it. It's a strange thing. I fast forwarded through the show until you were on it and then I watched your scenes.

That's what I did too. Yeah, that's me too. I mean, no, I didn't. But, well, I will say, when I first started in the 90s, it was more of a thrill to see someone that we knew on TV. I'd be like, oh my god, I know that person. I know that person. I'm because people were also getting their first job, their first jobs.

And at this point, it's like, you know, I mean, I was saying the other day on, on a show, like three of the Coachella headliners are like people who have been on comedy bang bang. It's like not, you know, that's killing anymore, you know, especially because they're clearly doing better than you. Yeah, exactly. Well, of course. No, I mean, it's great, but it's like, yeah, I see people I know on TV all the time. Yeah, I remember like the first times I would see people like from I.O. and Chicago, like in a commercial. And I'd be like,

whoa, I saw like I do improv and I was in a commercial. Like it really started to make it, the business like make more sense to me too. I could understand like how the path can... That made you understand commercials. I never knew what was happening in those. These little tiny movies. No, I never understood who was in them or how this was happening. And then it's like I started to understand. Do you do commercial auditions? No, I used to.

I used to do. They're such a drag. They're really are some of them mean as people. I actually just talked about this. It's really true. I TV with Jess Chaffin, but the we were going off about it because they are some truly the casting people, not the casting director. I don't know cause they're usually never in the audition. The people running the auditions are usually the meanest people. They want

you to feel dumb and they want you to feel bad. And the wardrobe people want you to feel ugly and weird and your bodies were wrong. And they and like I'm sure there are exceptions, but I don't think I've met it's because it's all the all the the pretence of art is stripped away. Now it's just commerce. Yeah. It's like what is what is your look? We don't have to pretend we like you. No, right? You're standing over here idiot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I want to I went to an audition once where I had this was after I said I wasn't going to do commercial audition anymore for that very reason. I never and it was like it was not like I was booking stuff like my wife goes on commercial auditions. She comes to me at night but she but she books commercials. Yeah. She's got a much thicker skin

about that stuff. They say something to the effect of like unless you're in a groove like a lot of people we knew would get into like every commercial for a couple of years until their face was too recognizable. But they say it's like one out of every hundred of auditions. Maybe is that's how often you would book something. And I was like, I don't have that kind of time. Because there's a million people going out for them. And also they're very, they're very finicky about what look they want or whatever. And all these different people have a say in it,

and it's a mess. So I went and then when you do one, by the way, not to interrupt, but when you do one, there are 20 people who all have that say I wanted to, you know, I was on the bed. And they're all staring at you like you're doing a terrible job and they did the wrong choice.

Yeah, and they're not, there's nothing about it that's supportive. Like when you're in there in the room, they're the, they're all whispering conversations. Yeah. Usually the very disappointed, if you're going for a theatrical audition, everyone there wants you to do well. Yeah, they're at least not slow down the production. Yeah. But they're, and they're giving you like, they're giving you space to do your best job. And you've gotten the material in advance most of the time. Whereas with a commercial audition, you just walk in and maybe read off a board. And they're supposed to do it naturally.

Or you're just supposed to do a bunch of weird actions with no props or eat something that's supposed to be something else, but eat this bun. But it's like fucking orange toast. Or Mime a weird thing, like an extremely specific thing. Yeah, remind something that's really physical and hard to do by yourself because it's not real and they also pair.

They pair you up with people. And a stranger, yeah, a stranger and you have to pretend you've been married for 20 years. So anytime I watch a commercial now and there's people who are like arm and arm and going, well, what we thought and it's always strangers. Yeah, and they just met. I love them, King. Oh, what were they talking about between right takes?

Yeah. Anyway, so, yes. So I had sworn off doing them. And then I got a request from my agent that the director requested you to come in for this. And I was like, okay. And it was. That happened to be so many times. And it was a campaign that was like,

you would be the star of this campaign. And so it could be very lucrative. Right. And I was like, okay, so I go in and the casting assistant starts reading off names and saying, or not the assistant was one of the people who ran the company, one of the heads of the casting company is reading names and saying, okay, you're reading for this part over here

and they put me in the group for the, the character that had like one line as opposed to the, as opposed to the thing that I was told. And I said, um, oh, actually, I was told that. So you spoke up for yourself, which is good because I would have just been like, yeah, yeah. So I was talking, reading for this other part. and she said, well, I'm telling you now that you're reading for this. And then the other fucking actors laughed and everything. I was like, this was like grade school. That's so cool. Did you crumple up the pages, throw the letters and say,

I stayed and I did the other part. And then I called my agent immediately. And I said, this is what happened. Right. And they said, that's not right. That's not what was supposed to happen. So they straining out. I went back in and then I saw the two casting directors talking to each other and looking at me. No one came

up to say, sorry, no one. They weren't in the room when I went in an audition. And then I heard what? What if they died? Oh good. What the fuck? I was thinking. That's the punchline to the send. You felt great about it. It's the pettiest I've ever felt in my life. What? What I did for one second, I was like,

that person would mean to me. I tell you about, I don't know if I told you this. I don't know if someone who's mean to me has died. Um, one day on, Scott, how are you feeling? Hey, one day I was going to brunch on New Year's Day. Moooooo! This is quite a-

I knew New Year's Day! Quite a few years ago, this is back in the 90s. Um, and- Back in the 90s! That's not a- That's not a- You just started trying to say- That's not a song.

That sounds like- Back in the- What is song. That sounds like, what is it? What is it? What is it? No, I need to make a video so good. Back in the last one. Back in the last one. Yeah, that's a nice video. That's a nice video.

There's also the closing credits song from Bo-Tech. Of course. Oh, it is? Oh, it is. Oh, it is. It was in a very famous TV show. Oh, really? It would be weird if I didn't say anything.

Is it so? There, oh, there is a song. Oh, I sit correct. I sit supported. One more time. Instead of I sang correct, I supported. But I, you, because he said there isn't a song. I didn't realize I was in the story. It's true. So I was making it left into the parking lot and it was one of those parking lots where it had two driveways. One was an inn and one was an out. And I was,

and I was, I was making the left into the inn. Oh, that's interesting. And then a woman in a car started trying to go out the inn driveway. And so confused. So I'm in the driveway, right? And this woman in this sort of SUV is like beeping and beeping and saying like back up.

And she's wanting me to back up into traffic, I think to reverse into traffic. Even though she's going out the wrong way. She's going out the wrong way. And so I'm like, I could presumably safely back up and go in the way parking lot. And so I was like, first you try to point and go, Oh no, no, you have it wrong. Like there's a new rules. Okay. One. I had my head was like, one, first, does that count? You got a point. Just try to make her realize you made a mistake. Two,

then you get out of your car. and then you make fun of her. Oh, that's a nice one. Yeah, out of your car. Like leave your car on a truck. Yeah, well, no, I was in traffic. I'm in the driveway. So you pointed going, hey, you're going to like, excuse me, ma'am, and then she's like,

angrily beeping, like, you know, you back up, and then I got out and I started like pointing, like, making fun and pointing at the arrow. So much better than me. Pointing at her laughing. Laughing. She rolls down the window and says, you just made a big mistake because I'm a casting director.

And then she peels out reverses because these are traffic laws. Yeah. But I but I always, It's okay. I always wanted it to come back to bite me in the ass. Somehow, like, to get into an audition and then she turns around and is like, Well, well, well. Well, well, well.

I guess you won't be on the new season of Golden Girls when you're with her. Let me know. Let me know. In the 90s. Back in the 90s. Make sure you let me know when he's going to be here so I can turn my chair around. Yeah, just let me know. Let me know. Back in the 90s. Back in the 90s. Make sure you let me know when he's going to be here so I can turn my chair around. Yeah, just let me know because I don't want to be facing him.

And he comes in unexpectedly. I have to steeple my fingers. How obnoxious is that? Is that typical casting director behavior? I know. I know. I have a lot of nice cast directors. When I have to praise them all now.

Sure. Yeah. I got to praise them. They're great people. There was nothing so much. But I pray for praise them all now. Sure. Yeah. I don't do praise. There were great people. There were there was nothing so much. But I pray for cats and drinkers every night. I only pray for them. They put you in homes and Watson.

And that's Allison Jones who actually gave me a, because there's another cast in the order, but she's the one who got me in it. I love Allison Jones. Yeah, I love all the nicest cast in the order. She's the best. I'm, excuse me, I'm choking on my own cough. Don't.

But I wanted to say that yesterday I was driving down a one-way street going around a corner and then a car was coming towards me, but I couldn't remember if I was the one way because I was like, so confused because it's just very small. Yeah, you're not expecting to see it. And I was staring at my gourd. But he was so nice about it. Oh, weird. Like I started backing up because I was really just confused. But then he was like, I know, sorry,

I was going the wrong thing. He couldn't do anything, because it was like too long that he made it to the stage. And he was like, oh, and I was like, oh, yeah, and I just drove. I tried to be, I tried to get into a headspace when I drive where it's like, I remember I made a photo by friend

because someone was like doing an unsafe turn in front of him and he said, careful, hun. And he didn't get mad about it. He was just like, careful, hun. And I try to get into the careful, hun mindset now when I drive. I, I, the, and our local post office, they don't go there. Don't go there. stamp.com.

They, I mean, this will turn anyone out for stamp.com. Okay. They changed the in and anyone out for example. Okay. They changed the in and the out of the parking lot. Why? Because it was, it was illogical. It was that the, the in was on the far side of the lot and the, I'm gary lurs. So it was like, yeah, it was, it was a cow standing outside like directing you.

Now, the cow was wearing glasses, of course. So it was like, yeah, it was a cow standing on the side leg directing you. Now the cow was wearing glasses, of course. That if you were driving towards it, you had to go past the out to get to the end. And so it caused a lot of consternation. Cost a lot of consternation. But peasants were very superstitious. Insusions. It had been this way forever. And so even though there were signs all over the place,

people were going out the wrong way. And going in the wrong way. And sometimes you just blow it on purpose. I'll just go, hey, that's fun. That's easier. For sure, people did that. But I was pulling in one day and a guy was coming out. This guy was like, it was a muscle car with tinted windows.

Ooh. I'm sexy. That sounds so hot. I feel like his dick is huge. Is that weird? I jerked off. Then. We ruined you.

I would. I would. I allow myself to only do it here. Yeah, okay, good. Thank you. So I want to turn in this guy was coming out and I like had to maneuver around him now. And I just kind of shook my head inside of my own car

and said under my breath, you fucking idiot. Uh oh. So then I go on part. He heard you. He saw me. He saw you shaking the head and doing that thing. Yeah, I was like, I'm a match. I couldn't as my age.

I couldn't see him. So I couldn't see him. I couldn't see him. So I couldn't see him see me. Oh yeah. That's him. My. So I park and this guy comes up to my driver's side. I hate this. Hey, do you call me stupid?

And I just play dumb. And I was like, this is, because I decided early on, this was going to be my move in situations like this. This comes up a lot every single day. A breath of people. You were just like, you're on tug and shit, too. I just say super innocently, I don't know what you're talking about.

Right, yeah, they can't do anything if you're like, if, because if you were like, well, man, you shouldn't have done this. It's like, well, fuck you. What are you saying? It just escalates. Where if you're like, because if you were like, well man, you shouldn't have done this. It's like, well, fuck you. What are you saying? You know, it just escalates. Where if you're like, whatever, are you talking about my dear boy?

But I did have to stop myself for saying, actually I called you a fucking idiot. Right, yeah, he's like correcting. Don't paraphrase me. You're not great at lip reading, I said fucking idiot. But you got the G. Yeah, you got the act.

All right, we need to go to a break. We'll be right back. Aw. You got the act. All right, we need to go to a break. We'll be right back. Oh. Hi, we're back. Back. I didn't get the speaking sync memo. Well, you have to check your memos. Have you checked them? No.

Have you checked your spam folder? No. No. It's freezing in here, right? It's cold. It was super cold when we first started. And now I feel like it's heating up. Not me.

Would it be cool to have an email that was spam at gmail.com? Oh, I think we're very cool. I bet someone already has done that. I bet someone has done so much. I bet somebody did that. what was your first email? I was on a well Well, yeah, it was your first email in a well know my first was earth link because I was in the church side Oh

My yeah, my first was earth link. I was e car stairs at earthlink.com Car stairs. Yeah, not net excuse. What does that mean? That was a the name of a character that I played in a sketch. Is that interesting? I don't want my email address to be my name. Well, no, back in the day, everyone was like, you got to come up with a fun name that means something to you for email. You know, which why? It does seem more interesting. Mine was. It was a holdover from, yeah. No, tell me. Well, it was a holdover from screen names, from chat room, from the man. Yeah, because mine was a screen name,

which was my email. Right. And it was Lappy 13 UTT, which looked like butt. Intentionally, or, Oh, okay, I was wondering if you went to UTT or TTT. Lappy 13 UTT. No, I was, if you went to UT or something. I was being UTT. No, I was a bunch of child. A bunch of child.

And my other one was ironic and it was Elmo and me too. And I was like, I'm too old for Elmo, but that's why it's funny. Because I was like 12. You had a pretty developed sense of humor. Yeah, what was yours? I can't say because I still use it. What?

Use your first one? First one, first one, last one. That's how I felt about he... What, what platform? What platform? Excuse me, what platform? What platform? What platform?

I don't want to talk about it guys, but... Really? Today, well, do you use an A&W screen name? Don't you worry about what I use? What kind of computer did you have Laura like I'm trying to compact with a cue compact what year? When we first got our computer. yeah, it was really exciting. I believe I was, I believe it was 1985. I believe it was, it was 1995. We got a compact, presario computer.

I had an in-carta, which I would use for school projects. What is that? It was like an encyclopedia, disk thing, even though I had all the world books, because we collected them. But it was just more fun to do it on the computer. It didn't feel like, yeah, it didn't feel like you were doing homework. Yeah, for some reason it always stands out that I wrote this paper in elementary school about the statue of Liberty or something or like something.

Was that the title of the paper? Yeah, but what I loved about it was that you could download a picture and print it out and make it your cover page. But I used the word emigrated instead of immigrated because in Karta kind of told me to do that. Stupid in Karta. And then I got corrected on it and I never forgot for some reason. And you had the grudge against all computers. I well, I found it frustrating because I still feel confused about the difference between

those two words because I do believe Emma great means to move somewhere to live there, doesn't it? Yeah, but I think one emigrates, right? And then and then you emigrate from a place, right? And then Emma great means to leave one's country to live in another. Emigrate means is to come into another country to live permanently. Yeah, right.

Oh, so emigrate is not permanent? Doesn't have to be. Migrate is to move like birds in the winter, the choice between emigrate, emigrate, and migrate depends on the sentence's point of view. Oh! Oh, you owe a shit. My teacher might have been wrong.

What was your point of view? Oh, I hate that when teachers are wrong. What do you know what I mean? Maybe my sentence actually did make sense not to let the computer of view? Oh, I hate that when teachers are wrong. What do you know what I mean? Maybe my sentence actually did make sense that's what the computer corrected it. Yeah, I've always thought about- Probably not though, it was about

set true liberty. I've always thought about my, and I think I probably talked about it. My newspaper teacher, who when I drew the cartoon, newspaper teacher. I don't recall, but I was on the school paper. I was on the school paper. I was on the school paper.

What? You were on your school paper? No. I was on the school paper and I wrote articles. School are great school. High school. Wow. So this is like. What was your, your section? I was.

Horoscopes. We would do it. Yep. Advice column. We would do whatever we, you know, we would just pitch stories and whatever. Oh, I was the entertainment editor. So occasionally, like, I would write a record review.

Sorry. You had all those shows you were not cast in. No, I actually talked about movies and- Another terrible production. I wrote funny little columns about things. I think I wrote a lamb like a takedown of Al Gore's wife, Tipper Gore. Oh, sure.

Tipper Gore. The shoes trying to sense her music. Yeah, with the PMRC. Yeah. But there was an article about spanking that someone wrote. And occasionally I would draw cartoons, right? And so I drew a cartoon of Charlie Brown being having been spanked by the teacher.

You've been a pastor of spanking since you were but a twing. So Charlie, it was a, I think it was an article about teacher spanking students or something like that. And I drew Charlie Brown being spanked by a teacher and him saying, good grief with like, you know, embarrassed. That's what he'd say. Yeah.

So it's one of his favorite things to say. Do you think it's his favorite thing to say or something that he ends up saying because his life is all agreeable? He hates saying it, of course. If a knee jerk responds at this point. Right. You know what? He's the architect of his own misery and fuck him.

I think Lucy is the architect. Can I finish the story? Can I finish? Can I finish? Absolutely. So the teacher, the teacher, point, like gets the entire class around, takes out the cartoon and says, can someone tell me what the problem with this is? This is copyrighted material.

And someone said that, it's copyrighted. Is that what? And he said exactly. And he just spanked you with the world of music. And in my head. He drew a squiggly line in your forehead. In my head, I knew what this concept of fair use was, but I didn't know what it was called.

I didn't know what it was. I'm seeing there going like, I'm pretty sure this is fine to use. Because if you grow up with like mad magazine and stuff like that, you have an idea in your head. Yeah, but this is satire. Yeah, satire you and it's usable. So, but I didn't know the term fair use,

so I'm seeing there going, well, I guess the teacher's right. And he made a fool out of me in front of everyone and then made me redraw the comic and everything. And then once I find out what it was. I see him. And as the boys make. As the what's in it. Yeah. And the boy is big. The boy is mine. The boy is mine.

Yeah, yeah. What if Michael Jackson not to bring him up again? I bet you're doing the Monica Brandy version of the boy is mine. Well, what if he sang the girl is mine? He said the boy is mine. With that of tipped anyone off. Honestly.

Yeah. What is your problem? You were going to say your problem is something. We're talking about teachers. We're talking about the newspaper, newspaper class. Yeah. Keep thinking on it. I had a teacher. I got interrupt you. What grade? I had to write a paper and I use the phrase, I'm going to say it wrong. I no-low content rate. Is it one in the same, one in the same? One in the same. One end. These two people are one in the same.

One end the same. One end the same. And I think I wrote one in the same. Right. And the teacher, one in the stink. Took a mark off for that and corrected it. Right. And I remember at the time being outraged like,

I get that I was wrong, but still, you see this shit every day from kids my age? You think any of these other dumb dumbs would use this phrase? My parents and I were playing Scrabble when I was a kid and I put down Aura, but I spelled it O-R-A and they were like, what? How do you not know that? And then I was like, how do I know Aura? Like it's like, it's pretty random word, go away.

I remember when I was eight, the team- I'm not the dumb one here. When I was eight, the teacher made me stand up and because I was a really good speller and it was like, okay, well, how do you spell rhythm? And made me stand up and I was like- I don't know to this day. I was like, R-I-T, no wrong.

Damn. She finally took you down. Yeah, just cuz I was like so Yes, I Was even cocky about I mean some of my teachers would have me read to the students from books because they were like tired Or they were really good read and like most of that yeah, yeah, we're all the same. We're all the same. We are the same Well, there's that. There's that. All right, let's take a break.

Let's take a break. No more about your teacher. Do you really want to talk about your teacher before we take a break? Let's say it. Cause we're gonna move on. Do I really want to, I don't know if it's gonna be weird. Or do you need to?

I need you to. I'm begging to hear what you're gonna say. I had a teacher I thought about her today. My eighth grade teacher was was someone that Oh, she's hearing the words of eighthva Gray, like, oh, okay. I follow. She was very, she clearly was very, when I look back on her, it's very complicated

because she was really, clearly very encouraging of me, but we were at odds all the time and she would frequently make me stay after class. And when I think about it now, I can't remember why. I'm sure it was just like I was, you know, being disruptive in class or talking or whatever. Whatever. Well, but I wasn't like, I wasn't like doing shit

that was like, look at me, look at me. Like I would make jokes or whatever. I love doing that. Saying, look at me, look at me. No, making jokes in school. Yeah, it's the best. It's so fun. Yeah, so fun.

And I guess it is maybe a desperate need for attention at the core. Well, it's, it's your trial that we're trying. You're certainly trying to be liked by your peers, you know? And it's like, and once you get a taste of it, you, it feels good. What's the way it feels? It's like you're getting that, you're getting that approval from other people.

And it's like, oh, as you're also figuring out, this is a thing I'm good at. Yeah. You know? And so I, yes, every once in a while, I probably would say something out loud, you know, to get a laugh from the whole class. But more often than not,

it was just like my little group of people around me or whatever. So she would, I remember her trying, like she was clearly trying to get through to me, like break through to me. But when I think about it, like, that was never going to work. Like, you're a comedian, like, you're born this way.

Yeah. Like, I don't know what, when I think about whatever lesson it was that she was trying to instill in me, it just didn't work. Yeah. And it was clearly never going to work. I feel like for some reason I never got punished for that,

even though I'm sure it was annoying at times. But I, that's interesting. I maybe, I wonder if it's a boy girl thing where it's like they would make him stay after class to try to go like, you really shouldn't be like that. Right. It almost seems like, you know, it feels like, maybe, because it seems more aggressive maybe. Yeah. I don't know, but it almost seems like in a sexist society that they would try to tell

the girls like, that's not lady like to make jokes like that or whatever. Yeah, I don't know. I had a teacher come up to me. I think 12 years after I graduated or something like that. And no, it was 10 years. I remember because we had just been nominated for nominate for Emmys for the history of it. The story you have told the story and you will get spanked. Will I get spanked? Where? Oh, no, you're at your homework. What? You'll write your homework.

No, but you know who is next to her. I'm not telling that part of the story. You know who is next to her? My fucking. The Captain Director. No, that my newspaper teacher. Oh, shit. He was parrying.

That's fraud. He turned on the story. So you don't get your homework. that my newspaper teacher. Oh, shit. He was partying. That's flawed. That's what I did. He was partying. That's flawed. He was partying. That's flawed. He was partying. That's flawed.

He was partying. That's flawed. He was partying. That's flawed. He was partying. That's flawed. He was partying. That's flawed.

He was partying. That's flawed. He was partying. That's flawed. He was partying. That's flawed. He was partying. That's flawed. He my new teacher. Oh, yeah. I know it now. I know it now. I journalism teacher, as we called it. Yep. I have a photograph of him.

That sounds better than newspaper teacher. I have a photograph of him lifting up his shirt to show a t-shirt that he's wearing underneath his sweatshirt. Okay. And it's that Janet Jackson cover with her boobs. What? And he's proudly showing, I think a picture on my disposable camera.

Why is he showing that to everyone? Because he's funny, I don't know. All right, let's go to a break. We'll be right back. We're back. It's time for a feature. This one comes from a listener on our Twitter feed at super long weekend. Super long weekend. Yeah, but WK&E.

It's called Carmella and Livia. First person, Carmella, gives the second Livia compliment. Livia gets five seconds to twist into an insult for a point. Back to Carmella to defend, back to Livia, five seconds to twist that defense. Third person judges and counts Livia points, longest Livia streak wins. I don't know why they're named Carmella and Livia. From the surprise.

Oh, it is, okay. I don't. Is that something that those characters would do? I guess. Maybe. So is this a... I think it's pretty fun. This is a two person thing.

Yeah, the third person judges it, and counts the Livia points. And so when the person turns the compliment into a slam, and then the other person is trying to turn that slam into what, back into a compliment or into... No, the person, so I compliment you, you twisted into an insult for a point, then I defend what I meant, and then you twisted again. Oh, sorry. So only points are available from the

livius. Yeah, you compliment a person then that person has to make it so that it's an insult and not a compliment. Yeah. Okay. Got it. Got it. Let's try it. Let's try it. Who's fun? And of course, let's try it. Okay. Um, who wants to go for it? And of course, who wants to go first? And of course, I was going to say, don't hurt each other's feelings. Oh, what? This is why I rejected this day. But you hurt your own feelings. They're the person compliments you. Yes, exactly. So that's why it's okay.

All right, you guys go first. All right. Okay, I'd seem safe. Am I living or am I? Do I have time anything or no? I'm just watching. Or am I coming? We should definitely time it because it feels like we don't want this to go on forever.

Right. Okay. Who do you want to be? I'll be Carmella. Okay. And I'm gonna, I'm gonna use the stopwatch. Oh yeah, beautiful feature of the phone. Give it to me. Yeah.

And so how long do I go a minute? Yeah, a minute. Okay. Starting now. I love your long ponytail. You didn't like my hair the way it was before. Suddenly, you like my ponytail and suddenly I'm more handsome to you.

That doesn't make any sense. I think that I'm good looking enough that my hair doesn't really matter. No, your hair definitely doesn't matter. I just noticed that you put some extra effort into brushing it and it looked really beautiful. Extra effort? Extra effort to look beautiful.

I think I can look beautiful without any effort. I don't know why I need to add effort to something in order to look acceptable to look beautiful. I think I can look beautiful without any effort. I don't know why I need to add effort to something in order to look acceptable to your eyes. Honestly, you look wonderful, whether you brush your long ponytail or not. And actually, I don't know why. Why are you noticing when I don't brush my hair? I normally brush my hair in the morning.

That's like standard operating procedure for me. I'm not sitting around like not brushing my hair all day. No, you're right. And one thing that's great that you don't have to brush is your perfect eyebrows and mustache. Fuck! Are you serious right now? No, it.

My eyebrows? You know that I cut these every single day. Time to say I'm not sure how this is a game. I don't know. I don't know. How many points do I get? It came clear to you. I'm not sure how this is a game. I don't know. How many points do I get? It came clear to you. Almost immediately.

It's also kind of easy, isn't it? Yeah, let's try it again. All right, so you only went in of some anxiety to do it three times. What do you? I would say probably you should keep your. Everyone's the change, the exchange should be brief. Okay.

Sorry. I'm going off to you. Okay. So who does you know what? Suddenly I talked too much for you. Is that where you're replaying? You compliment Paul. Okay.

And I'll do this. Go. Hey, Paul, I really wanted to say that I saw a Bojack course in the other day and you were so funny in it. Oh, so you I really wanted to say that I saw Bojack courseman the other day and you were so funny in it. Oh, so you saw it the other day. You know, you haven't been watching from the beginning? Well, I don't have time to watch every bit of media that's out there, but I knew that you were on it. I got that info and I decided to do it to watch it and it's just wonderful. You do a wonderful job. I'm glad you eventually got the info

that I've been doing this show for the past five years. Well, I don't, you're not a bragging type of guy, so I didn't even know that you were on it. I mean, you're very humble and you keep that information really close to the vest. I'm humble because I don't have much to brag about. No, you have a lot to brag about. That's what I'm saying.

I had no idea that you even were on this show until recently, and the minute I found out about it, I checked it out and you're wonderful. So you don't listen to me. Well, that's what I'm trying to say is you're not the type of guy to go out there bragging about all of your accomplishments, which are many. So I'm too good for you now. Yeah. Time.

Actually, I think my mistake was creating a character for Scott, because then it could be anything that you say would make sense. Whereas this is harder when you did a great job, and I think you got five or six. Thank you. Okay, so I would do it again, but I'll do my job. Full compliments, Lauren.

Are you gonna time us? No. You have to think of your hands. Now I gotta open up. All right, here we go. Where do I go? Oh, no, I gotta go all the way to my phone. No, I gotta open up.

What, how do I do the timer? Call my phone landlord to let me in. What do I press to do the time? You slide it over to the stopwatch. I don't know what to fucking do with. Look at this ape. I'm sliding, sliding. How do you get on in the stopwatch?

I don't think you're in the stopwatch. Oh, okay, got it. All right, ready and- Wait, I'm complimenting Lauren. Yes, okay. And go. Lauren, your eyes are very like sparkly today. Oh, so they're usually really dull?

No, I just mean that maybe it's the time of day or something like you just, they're just like radiant. Wow. So normally they just look like two empty pennies. No, I think you always look nice. I think you're always lovely and you're dressed well and you just, I just noticed your your eyes like maybe the way the light is Having them. Oh, so I have to have my eyes going to the light in a certain way for them to look nice or otherwise you won't notice them. No

Everyone notices them. You have very very striking. Oh, so my eyes are so weird that everyone's looking at them and noticing them because They're so unusual that it's actually alarming to people. No, people are delighted. They love seeing you. People can't help but smile. So people don't want to hear a word out of my mouth. They just want to look at me. So I'm just a fucking shell. People, no, people, I think everyone enjoys you and they look forward to seeing you.

Oh, really? So when they're not seeing me, they're thinking about it. They were just like, time. That was hard. No point for the last one, but you got five. Yeah, the last one I was just,

that was hard. I'll do it again, because I think it's harder. Okay. Ready? Still might not be a game. Okay. It might not be. It's a feature.

It's a feature. It's being featured. It's being featured. Ready? And go. Wow, you're so tall. Yeah, I'm like a giant, a fucking giant, who everyone likes to point laughing at. No, I think a lot of guys would like to be taller. So I think it's great for you that you're tall. Well, guess what? They would like to be, but they're gonna find out it's no fucking picnic. Oh, really? Okay.

We're fighting. Well, whatever. I... Whatever. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, without a shirt. I'm just saying that you're... Stop creeping on me. I'm not creeping on you. What the fuck is wrong with you? I'm telling you, your shirt looks nice. Oh, really? I don't want to say it at all anymore. Because I have such a weird fucking body that you think you'll like finally have dressed myself to disguise it. No, I just think that it's a nice color on you

with your skin tone. My, my weird blotchy skin tone, you fucking whore! It's a time, yeah. It's a time. Yeah That was Well, I'm not Another feature in the book. I guess it works better. First got to find makeup a character. With a long pony tail. We received some CDs from a listener. Cool. All right, we'll see you next time. Someone sent us some CDs. Are you shell shocked now because of the game?

What are these CDs? That is the can't tell what's happening. This one says, doku doku doku. Doku doku. Doku doku. Doku doku. Doku.

Doku. Doku. Doku. Doku. What does this say? I gotta get, yeah, thank you. Doku man. Okay. It what now what how would you say that? E.B.

Bo? What is happening? Salvation. Doku man. E.B. Bo. I really said this. What does it mean? I don't know. I have no idea. Thank you. Thank you to Doku. Thank you. Doku. Thank you. Thank you, Doku men.

This one, it's real by XX or XX by it's real. I don't know. This is like somebody is a music manager. This guy. Wow. This guy who has two thumbs instead of CDs. Well, I think that brings us to the end. Lamb Chop, Lamb Chop. Oh, I like Lamb Chop. Do you know what I'm talking about? Lamb Chop. Um, guys, I had fun.

Got a little contentious, maybe because of the feature. Yeah. Yeah, the feature didn't have it. Got a little aggressive at the end. A little aggressive. I have a lot of regrets. I have a lot of regrets. I'll fix them in the next one.

We got a little aggressive at the end. I didn't mean anything that I said during that feature. I apologize. I meant every work. We're glad. I'll fix them in the next one. We're glad we're glad you're not feeling. I didn't mean anything that I said during that feature. I apologize. I meant every word. You're sure that's amazing. Oh, thank you. I meant I didn't mean the compliments. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. That's not how we should end this. We got to go. All right. We'll do it.

I really got to go. All right, bye. I love you.