Threedom - Threevisiting: And You CAN Do It

Episode Date: March 31, 2026

Threevisiting on the Tues: Lauren, Paul and Scott talk about pennies, swimming in a lake, and listen to some voicemails.  Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Unlock every episode of THREEDOM and THREEMIUM, ad-free, on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, it's Julia Louis Dreyfus here, and I can't wait for you to hear our new episode of Wiser Than Me with Cindy Lopper on Amazon Music. Cindy may be a girl who just wants to have fun, but for 40 years she has brought playfulness and a dash of punk to some serious activism. We talk about her lifelong LGBTQ plus advocacy, her astonishing music career, and pick up a whole lot of wisdom along the way. Listen now only on Amazon Music. included with Prime. Sweet a... That sucks. You might be your redneck.

You most certainly are a redneck. When is he going to graduate to? You are a redneck. Does he know? He's hedging his bets. I'm tired of giving y'all hints. Now I'm just pointing you out. You're a redneck.

You're a redneck. You're a redneck. Is he still doing it? I hope so. To be. And you know what? I bet he does like, because he hosts a game show.

Never name him. Never name him. I bet he does. The Voldemar of comedy. I bet he does like, corporates and shit like that. Yeah, I bet he does like special engagement kind of thing.

Oh, that's like a handful of time for year and makes a billion dollars. Okay, okay, I like that. Private jets. You might not be a redneck if you're doing that.

When do we get to fly on a private jet? Look, I've flown on a couple of times. I've flown on a couple of times. I mean, I flew on a charter jet one time. Oh, what does that mean? What's the difference?

That's where it's like you're not, you don't have the plane all to yourself. Oh, that's what I flew on as well. The person didn't own it. No, no, no. We were only us on there. We were with strangers. Okay.

Yeah. But it was, it was, I'm sure I've told the story before. No. I think this might be the rare one that. No, I've told mine. So I'm sure you've told you. It was a New Year's Eve where somebody said we should go to Las Vegas. Happy New Year.

people just cheer they hit the ball they hit the ball and the crowd went a baseball it's happy new year that was a champagne I got my fungo bat

and I'm going to hit some fly balls to you and you were like hey it's the new year let's get a helicopter we took someone hitting you with the bat into the helicopter by firing a baseball

a frozen rope right to the sky. Somebody said we should go to Las Vegas and then we actually did but it was not fun. Oh. We got on the plane and then we got there and we realized we can't

get into any hotel rooms and now it's like Oh, you didn't have a hotel book. No, honey. Well, I think we did but we couldn't get in because it was too early. Oh, they wouldn't let us go. Oh, no, no, no, no. So we had to wander around the casino.

It was fucking miserable. I hate that. Then got it finally got out of the room immediately got sick. of what? Sick. Like I got, it's like a bad cold or something.

Huh. We were already there. And then I just stayed in the room and then it was time to go home. Oh, what a great time. Great time. Well,

my experience was I was flying for a babysitting job. So it wasn't. Is that the truth? On a private jet? Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't a jet, right?

It's just a plane. Plan. I mean, there's a difference, right? I don't know. It was a prop plane? I don't know what it was. A PJ? It was a private jet.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Whatever it was. private and it was cool. It was a peanut jelly. And this was someone who hired you to babysit and took a private jet somewhere. Yes, to Colorado. So really the...

Tell you ride? I don't know where we were. Vail. I honestly, I think I... Aspen. I actually just don't know. So the difference between you babysitting and movie star was really... There's no difference.

No, no, because I will, there is more to the story, but you know, I'll leave it. I'm going to leave it as a mystery because... Wow. But not to us off. But not too off. But not too off, Mike. Yeah. But yeah.

The pay wasn't. There. Did you hear about the pennies guy? Penny's from heaven? Sure. You wanted to see Time Fly? Yeah. Who's the pennies guy?

So the guy, I think he owns an auto shop and a... Where you can get your car fixed for pennies? Where is it? A worker of his who got fired said, hey, you still owe me $910. No. So the owner of the shop said, you know what? The shop said this. He gathered up all of the pennies on the floor of the shop.

Hold on a second. Wait, why were there so many pennies on the fucking floor? Yeah. I don't know. Did it use be a fountain? Was it a saloon? My theory. Yeah.

And they were peanut shells. And he called them pennies? My theory is that he went. He was a crazy man. He must have gone to the bank to do. do this, but he, but he said he gathered up all the pennies over the years that had been left on his floor, dumped them on the guy's lawn. How many could that be? I know. It's lying. If he did that and he dumped them on my lawn, I simply would go to the bank and deposit that. I would pick every

single penny up. I simply would pick up the pennies and take them to the bank. Well, wait a minute. How much do you get paid now? Even to babysit if you're on a private plane. On a private plane? Like is it nine, is it Is it more than $910 an hour? Because I think it takes more than an hour to scoop those up. On a PJ? What I was getting paid. I would use a copper magnet. What I was getting paid was nowhere near that amount.

And so it took me one hour to pick up $900, I would simply do that. That's not that long. I wouldn't bend over once to pick up $900. I don't know. Like $910 in pennies. You can't get that in an hour. But let's say he said it'll take an hour. Can you do it?

Will you do it? wait it will take an hour or i mean i only have an hour it will take an hour and you can use a shovel yeah it's a solid hour of shoveling of shoveling pennies yeah shuffling hard heavy penny that's how it's how it you don't want 900 dollars well no i'm thinking about can i physically do it no you can say you can you still don't want to an hour no it's not that i don't want to it's like i don't think i'll make it no but we're saying you can well then yeah okay okay well then yeah Okay. So it'll only take an hour and I absolutely can do it.

Yeah, I'll do it. If those are the terms, absolutely. Well, you were fighting it. Well, I'm fighting it because it's like, I'm thinking of my fucking back. Yeah, yeah. You'll have $900 to give the chiropractor. If you were paid $900. That guy, they're bandits.

There goes all my money. If you were paid $900 an hour to do something and it was a regular job, like shoveling pennies, would you do it? Because like doing it once is like, That's not a regular job. No, but I'm just saying there have got to be easier ways to make $900 in general. This is all I can think. You know what I mean?

No one. No one is getting $900 to shovel anything. No, no. I'm saying as a regular job, they're not. So I think if you're... But once... It's funny to settle on that as an hourly rate. I get paid $900 to $900 to $800.

It pays $8.50 an hour. Well, how about $900? Oh, right. Oh, my God. But don't tell any of the other employees. But you see what I'm saying? Like, just once you can do anything for $900. Yeah.

Just once. Once, yeah. Just once. You can do anything for $900. But as a regular job, that sounds good. And this is not our first language. Would you eat a seal for $900? It takes an hour.

Well, all right. Just once. You can do it for $900. And you can do it. It only takes an hour and you can do it. And you can do it for $900. But anyway, so this guy, the owner of the shop, left a note on top. This should be what Instagram.

Left a note on top. This should be what Instagram botcom. comments are. Like it should be like $5,000 DM. It's like, just once, shovel the pennies one hour. You could do it. 900. I want that kind of comment. Reply, can I do it? So he left a note that just said, fuck you on top of the pennies. On top of the pennies. Oh, covered in cheat. The notes said, fuck you. And so this led the guy to. Wait, what did the note say? Just fuck you. So it led to the guy complaining, you know, to whoever, you know.

The Better Business Bureau. Something like that. Judge Judith. Who settles worker disputes? I don't know. But, um, not HR. Uh, but, uh, the AFLCIO. Which then led to the guy basically getting investigated and him now a judgment.

Which guy? The owner of the shop. Okay. Now a judgment has come down that he owes $40,000 to all of his employees for overtime. fees that he never paid. That's why you just pay up and move on, buddy. Pay up and shut up. Yeah.

Yeah. But good. Everyone's getting what's theirs. Yeah. But he's going to pay them all in pennies. And they're going to be like, God damn it. He got us in. I mean, it is legal tender was his excuse.

So $40,000 an hour. And you have one hour to pick up $40,000 worth of penny. Wow. But you can do it. Wait, wait, wait, $40,000, one hour. I can do it. Yeah. And I'll get the $40,000.

Yes. In pennies. but I had to take them to CoinStar. Yes. But I wouldn't take it. You can always take them to Coin Star. What percent? So I think they take eight percent or something.

I'm not, I don't know if a bank won't, right? Yeah, no. So why don't people go to a bank in this? They don't want to wait in line? I think you, I don't know if you bring tons of, why.

I don't think you can bring change. You can't bring change to a bank anymore? How come? I don't think you can bring change. I think they make you roll it up. They make you roll it up. That's why. They make you roll it up.

They make you roll it up. It's $40,000. And they watch you do it up. It's $40,000. You're going to roll it for me. It's $40,000 in pennies. And I'm going to make noise while you're counting. I can do it and I will do it.

And I get $40,000. That's right. And CoinStar takes 8%. And you must go to the CoinStar. All right. I'll do it. And the CoinStar is not at the supermarket near you. It's a couple neighborhoods away.

$40,000 in pennies. That's my whole trunk probably. But you can do it. Okay, but I can do it. Because here's the part that we're kind of not including. So like, yeah, I can shovel the pennies. You're the one who came up with it. You can do it.

No, but I'm like, let's take it a step further because, yes, I can shovel them. You can do it, and it's easy. And you can and it's easy. Yeah. But what about when I put them in bags and I have to carry them into the coin shop? No, you can't do that. You can't do that. That's hard.

And you have to pay like a kid who's around. So one of the bags of pennies, which could equal thousands is going to him as his payment. Did you hear the other? The bags are huge. That's why I can't lift them. The bags are huge. Yeah. Did you hear about the other penny story in the news?

Is this like a radio show? Some people with their. Did you hear about the other penny story? This guy. I heard it was a little submarine. Somebody threw a penny in to make a wish and it just threw everything off. It hit the submarine. Story, which by the way is long over and over by the time anyone's hearing that.

In every sense of the word. Yes. They're all okay. Yeah. Yeah. Isn't that nice? Everybody made it. It's so cool you can tell the future now.

And they're giving away all their money. Yeah. So the other penny story is they, someone found with their dead mother or something found like bags and bags of pennies up in the, up in the attic. And they're trying to sell them off. a site unseen. I think it's like $6,000 worth of pennies, but they're trying to sell it off

for like tens of thousands of dollars of like, because there might be rare pennies in there. My dad tried to get me into coin collecting, like penny collecting, and it's like so fucking boring. And we would go to the penny store and be like, well, what about this 1910S? Yeah.

What about that? You know, it's just who the dog cares? Oh, this sweet penny. Did I share this interesting factoid? So there was this thing that I kept saying online that if you put a copper penny into your vase with your asshole. If you put a copper penny into a vase

that you have tulips in. I beg your pardon? Two lips. Okay. Two lips of flower. Two lips with flower. You put a penny in the vase. It keeps them sticking straight up for weeks.

Now, I'll tell you what I did it and it did work. The other thing is that you also have to poke, you can poke the pennies with a needle in the stem. Finney as a needle. Skinny as a needle. and it stands upright, okay? You poke the pennies. And this is something florists do.

You poke the pennies with the pen. They will, no, poke the tulip, the stem with a needle. You did it with a needle. I said penny. Where do you get this needle? You're sewing kit. What if I need it for showing? Well, you put it back.

What if there's a sewing emergency? What if I tear a hole in my elbow when I'm doing this? Anyway, then I saw an update about the copper penny situation. And the reason why they would say copper penny is because not all pennies are copper. After 1980, they're not. copper anymore. So you just flavoring.

But my pennies were old. If you have an old penny, it works. Yeah. And by the way, most of my pennies, not recent.

Really? Isn't that interesting? Why do you have pennies? I have change. I use cash sometimes. And are you inspecting them? Well, I am now because I'm saying

I only want these good ones. Okay, so I don't often spend pennies. Do you remember this commercial and I think it was for NyQuil or something? Barbara, you up? Yeah. Barbara, you up?

up and then she finally goes, I am now. Yeah, I sort of remember this commercial? Raise, I can't see. Raise the seat. See, can't reach the pedals. Lower the seat. No. What?

Are these two different people or one person talking to himself? Was this you when people got on the duck boat? Yeah. Oh my God, it wasn't the duck boat, though. It was. It should be the duck boat. It should have been. It would have been cooler if it was.

In my mind, it's the duck boat. Honestly, I might go on one of those tours this summer. Really? Just so you can say, Hold on a second. Let me scream this out. No, but there's the one, the architecture tour in Chicago is really good.

Right. It's 60 minutes on the river. And you can do it. Yeah, you can do it. And you can do it. And you can do it. And you can afford it. Yeah.

If you had a job and your job, you know those game show tubes that blow around the dollar bills and all the money? Yeah, the booth. Yeah. Yeah. I got him one of those for, I know you showed up sketch, and it was really fun.

There was one of these at a little kids thing. I went to recently. a little carnival and they had these little papers swirling around the kids were all grabbing it was really cute so my my question is if i was cute when i was in it i don't know it's fun for i'll show you okay there's a gift it's fun for three minutes right but say it was your job i was in there for 90 minutes and you can do it did you get 900 what did you get it got 900 dollars say it was your job and you got to keep whatever you grabbed right you had to do it 40 hours a week right would it still Oh my God, that'd be so mad.

And you got to keep whatever. So I mean, do they just keep pumping dollar bills in there? What's the denomination? Is it $1? Would you feel nauseous? I mean, like, they throw hundreds in there every once in a lot. And is that your, is that your pay? Yeah, that's your pay.

Oh, I'd do that. Whatever you kept. Fuck, 40 hours a week. It's a good job. That's a good job, though. Like, you know. Benefits? Like, there would be sometimes where you're like, I just need a break and you would not be

grabbing the money, but it would feel like wasting time. And wasting. Right. Your break would still take place in the boot. Yeah. And you just be sitting there. If you have time to lean, you have time to grab hundreds. You could be on your phone.

Yeah, you could be on your phone. Okay. But you'd be tempted just to be like grabbing the air. Everyone's scrolling my phone. If you could do whatever you want, the whole. Just making a claw, a constant claw. Yeah, I think if it was minimum wage, you get paid minimum wage, no matter what you do in there. Yes.

It's like a waiter. So you can sit the whole... Minimum wage, but then these are your tips. You could sit the whole time if you just were in a bad mood. Right. Because people are looking at you. You have to be performing. People would yell at you if you were late to work.

I think it's all the thing is that's out. What if no one can see you? You're just in a dark room doing this. The only light is inside the booth. Right. So you can see the dollars. Right. And no one's watching you.

And they're locked in. But they assure you there are no cameras and you're like, why is this happening? They won't tell you. Yeah. You want to get paid or not? The job market is rough. So you guys are saying you both do it. I would like to be in charge of it.

So you just want to yell at the people. You want to be the person who's, yeah. I would never yell. You'd want to be the manager. I would never raise my voice. What's another weird job that? Zookeeper. Zookeeper.

Delivery repair man. Wait, so a delivery man repairman? Yeah. Yeah. You heard the delivery man? Delivery repair man. What are you repairing? Delivery.

boxes broken anything with tape so you're repairing the boxes yep what don't you get hey does someone bring you something in a bag i can fix it put in a box did you ever get a styrofoam container it doesn't squeak right too squeaky not squeaky enough hey how about that padding that comes in sometimes things and you can we can melt it sometimes and you can melt it in the sink with the water that's cool oh yeah are we supposed to be using styrofoam anymore like everyone once in a it comes in a box that I get. Oh man. Somebody putting peanuts in there?

Like, are you fucking getting? No, that's what I'm talking about. No, that's why I like those dissolvable little things that you can put under the sink. Like in my farmer's dog, for example, I get farmer's dog. In my farmer's dog. And it comes with this biodegradable, meltable, delicious styrofoam. Wait, no. What?

And you put it in the sink and you turn the water on and it goes away. Oh, I like this. Yeah. Like the raccoon trying to eat the cotton candy. He goes to clean it and it disappears. Would you do a human zoo for money? Oh, absolutely. Like a slaughterhouse five?

I would run a human zoo. Well, like you sit in the zoo? Yeah. Oh, wait. No, I would run one. You just want to be management. Yeah. I do the zookeeper at the human zoo.

Your hunger for power is actually kind of sickening. I just want to take care of things. Yeah, that's what you want to do. I want to have a meaningful job. It would be weird to have a human zookeeper at the human zoo. Yeah, that seems a little bit wrong. It's like if a zebra was running a zoo. I think it's aliens.

I like that, actually. A zebra in a uniform. Yeah. Holly like zebras. It's pretty fun. The zebra's uniform is its stripes. No, that's his skin, buddy. That's his fucking skin.

So what? You think you can take it off at night when he goes to sleep? Do you think it's like a horse in jail? You dumb dumb? There's prisons where they still use that uniform. I love that. I love that. It's so retro.

I love it. Do you think the prisoners feel that way too? They're like, ooh, check out the fit. Classic. Trick up by classic drip. What about the ones where they die the uniform's paint? just to masculate them. That fucking guy.

No, that's, it's in real life. Paddington, too. There was a guy that did that in real life. And he would serve them like rancid baloney and all that. Was it in Texas? I forget where in Arizona or Texas. It's a sweet air made by a little bear. And then it ends up being charming.

It's very charming in Paddington, too. Not so much in real life. Do you remember the Fuhrer when somebody... Der Fuhrer? Yeah, I remember. Do you remember DeFior? I miss it. Do you remember?

Um, when Paddingtonton too had a perfect, and tomato score. Yeah. 100. Oh yeah. And then somebody gave it like four stars. No, why did they have to do that? Yeah, exactly.

That's what everybody said. Paddington 2. Some asshole. Yeah. It is a fabulous film. It really is. It really is. We're not sponsored by him.

No, and we can be. And I'd love to be in Paddington 3, but I think it's too late. Yeah. Yeah. It is too late for you. Yep. Is there a unit? I'm still in the mix.

Okay. Is there a unit? What? Are you in it? Our unit? Our unit. Our unit. Is your unit in it?

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We watched Paddington 1 after we watched Paddington 2 because we'd never seen it. Uh-huh. It's fucking great. It's great, too. No, it's great. I think... Paddington 2, of course, is... I think you watch an order because...

I think you have to watch an order because everything has to escalate in a sequel. And if you watch it backwards, you might go like, oh, that was a little more... Tame. We watched it frontwards. We didn't watch it backwards. Oh, were facing your back to the TV? Backs to each other? Yes, we were...

Yes. Well, we were tied up. Oh, okay. Oh. Oh. They tied us to chairs. Indiana Jones and his dad style. And his dad style.

I got to think of that. It was the dog's name. The last crusade. What a terrible father. We named the dog a dragon. He sucked. And he never stopped sucking. And he never apologized.

I don't know what you're talking about. Indiana Jones's dad? I haven't seen that since I was a kid. The new Indiana Jones is coming up this week or possibly next. And Indiana Jones. And you haven't revisited all three or all four of them? Okay. You're right.

I need to do that. this now. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to watch them all. I hate watch the crystal skull since it came out. This part is not getting shorter. Hate watched or haint watched? Haint. I ain't going to watch it. I'll tell you that. I need to watch it again before this new one. What's the crystal skull? It's scary. You're not going to like it. Oh, okay. I'm too scared. Oh, I mean, well, do you know, have you heard of a skull, the stuff that's underneath like this part of your flesh? Uh, I don't have that. Women just have soft, just have little faces that are... Delicate and feminine in our faces are just all cartilage.

We don't fart and we don't have bones. Yeah, I gotta watch it. I mean, it was terrible. There were a couple of parts I liked. I bet I would find it... I find that revisiting any movie, like that kind of movie. It's always a little better than I remember it being.

Yeah. I guess because I'm prepared for it this time. Although I watched Star Trek first contact the other day and it was worse than I remembered it. Oh, man, I think that's, I think that's considered the best one. It is. I really liked it a lot. It was a little slight after I watched it,

because mainly because I've been watching so many episodes. I thought it was directed really well, but yes. It just felt like. Frakes. Yeah, Franks. Hey, I don't know. I mean, I'd love to chime in. I just can't.

Yes, I watched Star Trek. So you can't do newcomers about it? No, I haven't watched enough to not be able to do that, but I just can't do that. You can't do it? Were we on an episode? No, but you can do it. You can do it.

Yes, we had you and Nicole. I'll pay you $900. Tony and I had you and Nicole. I was on your podcast. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I also think I might have done Alice,

whatever one. I can't remember if I did that. I bet you did it back in your day. Yeah. So I've watched a couple episodes. They are actually kind of funny. Like the one, was it the baseball one that I watched with you? That's not my favorite episode for sure.

But I found it so weird that I like couldn't believe it. You're a Nielix person, right? What does that mean? Oh. Don't don't just say I'm something. There's a, there's a character on Star Trek Voyager who is just an insanely unlikable character. Oh yeah, I love him.

You're a Jar Jar Jar Neelix type. Yeah. Nicole loves Jarjo. Nicole does love Jar Jar. I would love to see you in. And we loved, we loved all my best. I would love to see you in a Jar Jar type role. I would love to see you.

I mean, you're always in a Jar Jar type role. I would like to see a Jar Jar type role in me. Right? You want Ders's big fat dick in you? It probably looks like a tail. Like an avatar? Yeah, I'd never seen their penises, but yeah. Well, they have braids that they stick into the...

What? Oh, an avatar? They have braids, they stick into... What? Into holes. That's how they sex? That's how they sex. I can't believe when I'm hearing.

There's so much... There's so many dumb concepts in the avatar universe. It really bothers me. That's so sick. What's the worst? Univetanian or? Why does the hair create sperm? Who said it did that dear?

Why isn't it on their faces? Why does the break go in the hole? The brake goes in the hole or else it gets the holes again. Yeah. Avatar means silence of the lambs. Silence of the lavatar. Or else it gets the hose again as a thing that we say a lot in my house. I feel like we say it a lot here.

You threaten Jenny with it. No, we just like say it. When you keep her in a well. We say it very casually. If anything begins. with it does this. Like we're talking about a machine or something.

It does this or else it gets the homes again. I feel like you guys have fun. We do have fun. I gotta say. Should we swap houses for 30 days? Let's wife swap. Not wife swap, but just house swap?

Just house swap. Oh yeah, I'd do that. 30 days? Yeah. What 30 days? I don't know. Jesus. I don't know.

That's a long time. It's a long time to be away from your days. It's a long time. to be in someone else's house and you're not that far from your own house. That is annoying. Well, you're not in another place. You can drive by and say hi to your house. Can I say we took a little weekend trip to Lake Arrowhead?

Wow. For Father's Day and it was so delightful. And we realized it's our first family trip without going to visit family or for work. Wow. We got to like just have a family trip and it was so fun. That's very nice. Did Holly enjoy, did she go in the lake? Did she just look at the lake?

Did she hover above the lake? Did she drink a bottle of Arrowhead water? She actually did that. Yes! None of us went into a lake. Not even Lake Arrowhead? You can't go into it. It's private.

Private Lake? Yeah, you have to, like, it's all the houses. Private Lake. You can't just swim there, but Lake Gregory is 15 minutes away, and I guess you can go to that. But Lake Arrowhead is the star of the show. They call it Lake Arrowhead. You said you went to Lake Arrowhead. I did go there.

I walked around near it. A private play. I hate this. I hate your trip. It's beautiful. I had a great time. The cabin was great. It was a bad taste of my mouth. Okay.

Were you on the lake, though, the cabin? No. Oh, okay. Because it's private. But it was, we walked down and we were trying, well, the shops are on the lake. So we were, I went like a couple restaurants. So we were on the lake. Oh, yeah.

But then when we were, we went on a walk. Couldn't you go into a shop, like a bathing suit shop, put on a bathing suit and jump right in the lake? Look, I probably could. I don't know. I'd look insane. No, you can do it. I'd be jumping right into a pile of huge fish. They're like, like, two.

feet long. Two feet? The fish that were kind of swarming by the... Swarming. Ew. Sorry, I say swimming. They were swarming. Swarming.

They were right by the edge. People were feeding them with some food you could get. Some food you could get. Why are you being so cagey about this? I didn't know it was in the bag, but it was breadcrumbs or something. What's in the bag? And there were ducks and they were all swimming, but the fish were huge. I took a video.

But you don't know what kind. I don't diagnose fish. Was it in stories or did this make the grid? It's on the grid. It's in my slides. We'll just see about this. Go to my Lake Arrowhead post. You can see the big ass fish at the end.

Well, that sounds fine. How long are you there? Three hours? Three nights. And it was really fantastic. It was really relaxing. That does sound. I don't often do things like that.

How do you need to bring a lot of accoutrement? We brought so much shit. And there were still shit that we didn't have. That where you're like, like where I didn't bring like Holly's bottle brush because I was like, I'm going to just wing that. And then I was like, I really wish I had that.

Yeah. But how much space could a bottle brush take up? It doesn't, but it's like I was, I was, I was, I was, I was putting in the glove compartment. I was putting in so many things. And it was kind of being noticed by Mike that I was putting. Okay, you're bringing a lot of clothes for a few days bringing it. I'm like, yeah, but it's everything that we could need. And then I, at a certain point, go, okay, I'm not going to bring my shampoo.

I'll just use whatever they have. I'm not going to bring my this. Excuse me. Excuse me. Is this your swarm of fish? Oh, my God. What a disappointment. There's like full lazy ass fish. It was a little more intense.

Oh, was it? IRL. Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, it was a million fish.

No, no, I probably. And they were swarming. And then the one fish, the one fish should have jumped out of the water. It said, don't you come in here? And then the other fish that's, this is private. How about this one? Here, how about this one. That's how big they are, bitch.

Fuck! Let me do this. Got me. Those are ducks. She thinks are ducks. She thinks it's a fish. How big they are. She thinks anything on the water is a fish.

Why won't anyone corroborate? I'm sorry, but you're crazy. That's not. Those are the smallest fish of it. I don't mean to gaslight you, but you're crazy. I'll be posting that. And everyone will know. Okay, whatever.

It was a great time. That's so fun. Did you have a nice Father's Day? Oh, yeah, it was your first Father's Day. Yeah, it was good. It was, I mean, she could stand to be a little more demonstrative. Yeah. Considering the day.

Did she even acknowledge it? No. Okay. She wore a shirt at one point. Well, honestly, though, here's what I need to tell you about that. How sharper than the serpens do. You're raising her. So whatever you.

she doesn't know is on you. So if you have a private honor about Father's Day yet. Why didn't I do that? Yeah. But no, the shirts were so cute. You both had my first Father's Day shirt. It was very adorable. Yeah, it was good.

We just, we went to a. You guys looked very cordial together. Yeah, no, we, we hammered out like an agreement. That's good. For the sake of the phone. Yeah. I think that's good. For the sake of the gram.

Please do it for the gram. For the sake of the gram. What do you? you putting on your lips right now? Some sort of bomb? Well, I'm putting on or is it just some magic marker?

TCA or what do I call it? TCA. Is it the television critics association? Is it the F-I-C? It actually is funny that you're asking me what I have to tell you what I am putting on my lips because it's funny that you said what are you putting on your lips right now? Right.

It's funny? Yes, it's called the balm for nipples. This is a like breastfeeding. Why are you doing this? Because she wants to suck? Nipples? I don't understand this. This is disgusting.

But it's a really good lip balm. Your lips and your nipples are not made of the same meat. No. There are two different meats. They're two different meats. Look, move on. Move on. I didn't want to bring this up, but you said, you said, you such a specific question that I had to.

But, um, yeah. Man, you know what? That was a specific question. What are you putting on your lip? I'm going to say, it's by Ingrid and Isabel. If any lady out there is interested in. Fingered by Isabel. Ingrid and Isabel.

Jesus. Christ. You all are disgusting. We've ruined Paul. If there's even a shred of... Remember the early episodes? To get to the point where you are saying, y'all are disgusting? Everything got ruined.

Yeah. This is a fucked up planet we've created. This is post-COVID. Post-COVID world. It is a post-COVID world, even though COVID is still in the world. It's true. But COVID ruined our brains, didn't it? Yeah.

Probably. Probably. As a world. Yeah. Yeah. Can you believe that happened that we... It made us cuckoo. didn't do anything for a couple of years.

It's, it's hard to look at directly. Yeah, it is. Remember how, like, wonderful it was when you saw someone in person during that? Yeah. Like, we would be so giddy to see each other,

and now it's like, fuck. Now it's horrible. I've gone back to despising the human race. Yeah. Good. Anyways. I don't, by the way. It's reciprocal.

I'm not a misanthrop. No. Great play by Moliere. I'm an anthrop. Yeah. I love people. Anthropod. Oh, my God.

I keep flashing it. I had the weirdest dream. And I think you guys were both in it. Oh, no. Where, no, no. It was good. We went to this place. The big group of us went to this place that's like, are you familiar with Meow Wolf?

Yeah. No. What's that? It's a really fun, interactive kind of installation art kind of thing. They have one in. Is it in New Mexico? Yeah, I was going to say Santa Fe. Is it Santa Fe?

Yes. And then Marfa, Texas. Marfa, I believe there's one in Vegas and one in maybe in Colorado but it's a really places she flew on the PJ It's true It's really cool and it's really fun and really

clever and interesting Oh cool And in the dream it was that But like times a million It was like almost like You were taken to another Wow But it was very like dark and kind of a black lighty

aesthetic and it was very trippy Where you felt like you were on drugs. This was a dream that I hog. You miss that part of it. I'm giving you facts about Meow Wolf and yet you're talking about a dream. Because you don't need to give me facts about Meow Wolf.

He knows them. I was the one that asked, have you been there? Oh, fuck. You've just insulted Paul. To his core. Lawrence's in slow motion. She's realizing what happened. But it was like,

It almost made me want to throw up. It's one of those dreams where I want to go back to that place. Wait, Dore and his legitimately. Trying to throw up right now. I'm trying. Oh, it kind of does that. Not for me. So wait, what was our, what was our POV in this dream?

We were having fun. Yeah, we were having fun. It was kind of eerie and kind of scary, but it was like, I want to get back into that dreamland. Yeah. How do I do it? Oh, I love that feeling. We got to do something like that. Is that, I mean, if you are able to lucid dream,

which people would go on and on and on about it. They won't shut up about it. Are you able to program where you're going to go before you go to sleep? That would be great if you could like set a program. Because that shit's still in my brain somewhere. Yeah, you know what I mean? I bet you could focus on it as you're going to bed and like, it would actually help you go to sleep.

Focus. What do I have to look at? A penny? There's got to be a corner. A copper penny. Do you only remember the dreams? It's skinny as a needle. Do you only remember the dreams that you have right before you wake up?

Because that's, or do you? Well, but haven't you had dreams where you felt like they lasted all night. Yeah. Like the entire time you were asleep. Right. Like it feels like a really long dream, like a story that keeps unfolding. And I. With chapters.

With chapters, with verses. There's a Bible there. Mm-hmm. And a great preacher who's telling me that things can be different. Yes. If you, I think you might have died at a certain point. And they revived you?

Wait, am I dead? I think you might be dead right now. No. What if this was your heaven? What a compliment to us. That would be so sad. You never see Janie.

You're always just doing freedom. Well, she hasn't died yet. We haven't died yet. No, we're all dead. Does everybody come here? When they die. Everyone we've ever talked about on the podcast. podcast ends up here.

I went to a concert last night. Hey, Davis. Yeah. Oh, yeah. What was that? Love and Rockets. Um, they were great. And who was better?

Rockets probably get the edge. Yeah. I think. They're pretty cool. Yeah. They're great. Um, but, uh, so legitimately 100% of the crowd was standing. Mm-hmm.

And. Except you. There were seats or there were not seats. There were seats, but ever, like the minute they came out, everyone just rose their feet. Which venue? the ace where we perform many times. Oh yeah, absolutely. Our old stomping grounds.

That's right. People don't stand the whole time we do our show. We don't either. And I felt I... We wish we were. I always feel kind of bad for like standing up during a concert because I'm tall and I go like, oh, I wonder if it's okay. But I was on the aisle and I think it's fine or whatever. Yeah.

Well, everyone's standing. What are you going to do? And the literature is. And there's no way I can see if unless I stand. That's just how it goes. That's the thing. If it's spotty, I don't. will always sit, right?

And I also have a rule of concerts of like, I don't get mad at anyone for doing whatever they want. Because we're all there at a time. Yeah, absolutely. You know what I mean? Absolutely. So I've been at concerts, like we went to John Legend once where some people were yelling at teens for like dancing during the show.

That's so annoying. That's like the whole thing. Make sense at a John Legend show. I know. Sit down. What are you even doing here? This is for us. But so three songs in,

I get this tap on my shoulder. and I turn around there's this like older long-haired, gray-haired hippie going, do you mind moving over so I can see? And I think to myself, what's going on? I look behind and he's sitting down.

He's the only one in the entire place sitting down. And he's not going to be able to see if you move over. And so I go like, would he? Is that doesn't make any sense? By the way, I was over a little bit over like, say the plane of where I should be because otherwise I need to stand on a like bump for the aisle.

You can't stand a bump for the aisle? Which was uncomfortable. Fuck that. You had your reasons. Can I ask you? What does that mean? The bump? You know, there's like a little bump of like a separation between the aisle and the where the seats are.

Does that make sense? Like where the carpet is. It's a little bit raised. Yeah. Now I got you. So it's like a hard bump that if I were to stand on my seat. So you're a gnat now? Yeah.

But I went, okay, sure. and I tried to be accommodating and I moved over and stood on the bump which is uncomfortable Oh tough and then

during the two hit songs I suddenly get shoved and I look behind me and this old hippie guy is wildly maniacally dancing What? From sitting down and being angry

that he could barely see to The drugs kicked in maybe but he man, I'm waiting for my song. And then when that happens, I'm going to hit you. I'll tell you when I get up but until then get out of my way.

And he's just flailing about and like with no, and so then I was like... With Wild Abandoned? With Wild Abandoned and I was like, oh, why was I feeling bad about this? So I just stood what I wanted after that because I was like if you're going to, first of all, if you're going to be crazy... I will say this. Yeah. I don't

like to stand at shows. I don't either, but this one. was, and it was only 90 minutes. But if everyone stands, you have to stand to see. And, but sometimes, like, depending on what it is, I might take a little break and just sit down there in my little cave. Sure. I do that. And sometimes I sit on the seat that's up.

So I'm, like, half in between. Yeah. I'll do that sometimes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What I don't get, I don't, I don't quite understand it because I guess I understand the music moves you to stand. If you're going to dance a little bit. Savage breast as well. But I mean, people, it's not like, now we're all just standing.

We paid for these fucking chairs. Yeah. What if we all, it gives energy to the show, whereas if you're just standing there listening to music, there's no, especially for like a loud rock show, there's no. I disagree. Yeah, I get it. I totally disagree. I, most of the time I sit at a show. I totally disagree.

Well, it's like, but they're, they're bringing the energy. The band is. But so when you do a show, yeah. Are you fine if it's a totally silent crowd? that is just sitting there judging you? You want them to give you some energy back. Yeah, and they do. And they're sitting down.

Well, that's what we were doing. And they're sitting down. You can't tell me. You're exasperated by this. Well, why doesn't the band just want to hear us laugh? Why can't we just laugh? That would be so crazy. Why can't we just sit and laugh the whole time?

Why would I laugh whenever I would be dancing? Yes. What if comedy shows and rock shows swapped audiences? For 30 days? And you can do it. How confusing would it be? they play a song And everyone goes

Ha ha ha ha ha ha And then we're like Stupid joke And then they're like We already have that Unfortunately That does exist already All right we have to take it

Only 18 states Require SexEd to be medically accurate And relationship classes Let's fix that I'm Shan An ASEC certified sex educator With a Masters in Psych And on my podcast

Lovers by Shan We make learning about a love as mind-blowing as making it. Celebrities and fascinating people share an intimate story. Then we uncover the lesson for all of us. Watch Lovers by Shan from Lemonada Media on YouTube or listen wherever you like your podcast. And we're back. And guys, what if we listen to voicemails?

We have so many. We have voice mail. I don't like when my voicemails clock. Now listen, let me tell you something. We have a phone number and we're allowed to because we're all. all grownups. Yeah. My mom,

my mom, my mom said we got a phone. They said it was okay. And I got my phone and it's red and it lights up and it's like Commissioner Gordon's calling me. And I have my own voicemail and when you leave it. I hear no one else my family here. And I call 900 numbers and I learn about sex.

What if you called 900 numbers? And it was like I'd like to learn about sex. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. I don't know what these terms mean. I do what. with my who.

Oh my God, guys, I'm getting a new kind of spam email. Oh, no. That's like, hey,

I really want to meet you. And then we can, I can show you my nudes. And then we can start going out or whatever. And it's like, it's a billion different addresses. It's just sending out BCC

Slut emails. BCCC. It started. It's from slut.com. All sluts are BCC.C. They send it to like a thousand people with a similar email address to you. It must be.

I can't see any other email addresses. Because that's what used to happen, right? Yeah. You would see like... You'll still get stuff like that where it's like, you want a hundred dollars to best buy. And then you see that it's sent to like anybody whose emails start similar.

And now these people are like, we should do BCC. That's the decent thing to do. It's the least you could do. Yeah. But it's so... Let me see. I might have one.

I can show you. Because it's been happening since... It started Saturday. And it's been like 20 a day since then. I bet I have a new one right now. I bet I have these in my inbox somewhere. These slut emails. I guess I kind of did save those slut emails in my starred.

Yes. Here we go. This is from Sarah Buckingham. Sarah Buckingham. What a classy name. If you want to write to her, it's S-R-A-J-A-S-D-6-9. Ooh, at g-mail.com. Wait, if you put a 69 in your email,

You're down for whatever. That's right. At least 69. Not necessarily. This is a forwarded message. And the subject is, I'm always wet thinking about you. I'm always. And this is a BCC.

Is that wet thinking? Like a verb, wet thinking? Or she's wet. I'm always wet thinking. Oh, my God. Allow me to wrap. Allow me to wrap. Allow me to what?

This is so funny. Allow me to wrap my legs around you. Allow me to wrap that. Allow me to wrap that. Hold on a second. You're going to like it. Allow me to wrap that. juicy beef using my thick bread.

Thick what? Bread. What? The least sexy. Lawrence and tears. My thick bread. Oh, that thick bread. Are you already getting around?

Sick. It makes me sick. Let's make your wildest dreams come true and then in bold. I know you want this. So message me tonight. Oh my God. People respond to that. I guess it.

Yeah, it works. See, that's the thing. It's fucking crazy. Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy to me. The ones I think that work are the ones like blackmailing you. The masturbating.

The masturbating one. I have all your videos of what you jerk off to? Send me $256 now. In Bitcoin. By the way, I did watch Vanderpump Rules this season and they keep showing this clip of this guy, James, who's an English guy on it. I don't watch that show. Okay. He's an English guy.

He's a DJ. They all met being waiters and waitresses at a restaurant. He's a DJ now at a sexy unique restaurant. Pump. Yeah, sir. And so they keep showing this clip from a previous reunion show where he takes back his ex-fiance. Oh.

He takes back the night. His ex-fiancee gives him back her engagement ring. And he goes, he grabs it and he goes, that's a Bitcoin. What? That's so lame. That's a Bitcoin. That's a Bitcoin.

That's stupid. And that's a Bitcoin. Ted Lassow, he's done it again. Ted Lassau is a Bitcoin. Ted Lassau is a Bitcoin. God, if Ted Lassau was a Bitcoin, would that show be as popular? Instead, he's a soccer coach. 10 times more.

If he were a Bitcoin instead of a soccer coach, yes, it would be 10 times. Well, it would make more sense because every time he's talking to the team, I'm like, what? And if it was a Bitcoin, I'm talking to the team. Oh, yeah. Yes, makes sense to me. Yeah.

Yes. that a Bitcoin would be so positive. Yeah. Okay. What did I do with these? Fuck, I just close the... Listen, if you want to call us and you want to ask our advice about something

or another reason that we can have... I don't know that we're qualified to give any advice. So if you want to ask us advice, sure. Go ahead. You can call us at Hague Claims 8. It's great. All right. Let's hear from Juliana.

Margulies? Yep. I hope so. So, Julie and Marguerlees. My name is Juliana. I just had something funny that I thought you guys might enjoy. On the most recent episode, Paul says that he says, Haag Claims 8 and the Unclaimed Freight theme.

But in my area, it was always unclaimed phrase. And I work overnight on my lunch. I'm listening to the episode. And I thought I was in a hallway by myself. And I go, HaG claims 8. And it turns out I was not alone. And I got some looks. That's pretty fun.

Wow. I love you guys. Thank you, bye. I love that. Thank you, Juliana. Thank you for working overnights, whatever that may entail. That sounds hard. I hope you get $900 for it.

Yeah. I hope you get to grab money for eight hours straight. And I hope you can do it. Yeah. But do you think those people were ghosts? The people who saw her and gave her looks? She thought she was alone. Well, I guess she just, maybe she's saving the rest of that for a different podcast she calls

into, to tell them about the ghost that she saw. She's broken up this story into. You think she's calling other? podcasts? Yeah, she's like, they'll care about this part. They'll care about this part. Juliana, I hope that's not the case. I had a dream two nights ago that I was at someone's house and I put on a belt and it like flew me into a chair and then I was like, this is a haunted belt. And I was like trying to tell. You're trying to tell people. Like I was like, the belt just carried me over here. It was like haunted. This is haunted. And then people were really busy because they were describing the menu of what we're about to eat.

I think I have a hunted belt. I think I have a hunted belt because it keeps not fitting the way. Oh, well, maybe it'll fit one. It's a George Clooney prank belt. It'll fit one day and then like 60 days later, it won't fit anymore. That's crazy. Oh, that was one of those pranks, right? Yeah, making things smaller.

Taking the wardrobe in an inch of a week. I don't have that time to do that. I don't know. I guess what is, the wordrobe, and the fact is they don't. That, so Juliana's song, it sounded like, oh my God, Speaking of George Clooney. I loved you in Deep Rising or whatever the fuck it was called. Ghost ship. She was in Ghost Ship.

Okay. That's right. It sort of sounded like Chain of Fools, didn't it? Yeah, that's, I think, what she was doing. But it's slightly different. What's yours? What's yours? What's yours?

What's yours? This is a vanilla ice conundrum. But what's yours? By Jean Lacarrererete. Mine is unclaimed freight. And hers was unclaimed fray. And then she said, ha claims. Jay.

That's chain, chain, chain, fools. Yeah. But if you think it's different, but I think hers was slightly different. But she's allowed to do that. Dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum. Let's hear another one. But thank you, Giuliana. Hello, Scott, Paul, Lauren.

Piss-pig-J here. Piss-Pig-J. I listen to you guys while working. I work at a camp, and it got me wondering, do you guys camp? Oh, wow. Okay. The roughest roughiness you've ever done.

Oh. Thank you for your time. And I wonder have we not talked to. Have a pleasant evening. Have a pleasant. You know what is morning. PPJ, as I like to call you. Camping has come up before.

Camping has to have come up before just because of just the amount of time we've spent talking. When's the last time, though, you were in a tent that was like on the ground? How old? 20 years ago. So you were. 17. So now you're. 30.

But I just was saying because we were in Lake Yarrow. had and we were in the forest and I was a little creeped out by it at first because it was so quiet but then I liked it but I was like I said to my you know what I don't ever I don't ever have to go camping just so you're aware I never ever have to do that and then he was like I don't like I'll go with someone else like he like I'd rather go with so and so because it's just like you know go with a friend who's excited I don't want to do that I have tried a couple times when I was young it's really like maybe I could have a little fun but I think I might get a little too freaked out. More than even the

discomfort. More than the discomfort. I think it's the sort of like laying in the middle of the open that I don't like. Well look, animals are they've had enough with us. Yeah, well the orcas are rising. They're like there's animals that are now in places that they wouldn't be 10 years ago and now they're just like openly walking around like who gives a shit. Bears are not afraid of anything. No. They don't give a fuck. They don't give a fuck. And then the ocean is now sharks are attacking boats, orcas are attacking boats.

Cats and dogs living together. That's a big twiggy. But yeah, I have not camped in that way since summer camp when I was a child. For me, it must have been some sort of church thing, yeah. Like you mean in a tent? Yeah. Because I worked at a camp, but it was in a cabin. Yeah.

Yeah. We had cabins and then we would go out one night and sleep outside. Did you ever? No tents. Did you ever like, like we have tents? We just slept in sleeping bags. No, I don't like that. That's like a Charlie Brown cartoon.

Yeah, it sucked. Did you ever take a tent out to your like backyard? I always wanted to. But we did not have, we did not have that sort of thing. What sort of thing? A tent or a backyard? We did not have a tent. We did have a backyard and I always wanted a tree house was really the thing.

Oh, yeah. Treehouse seemed like even today when I see it in something. I don't think I've ever seen one in real life, by the way. Like an actual in a tree house. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like Casey Wilson has one. Yeah.

My dad built a clubhouse for us, which was essentially in the, we called it the alley, but just in the side, the side yard that didn't lead out to anything where he kept firewood and shit. But he built like a clubhouse, which we then, you know, the only time we would ever get together was just about figuring out who was president, who was vice president, who was treasurer and who was secretary. I was president of my club. Yeah, we've talked about this. I've been the treasurer. Yeah, our clubhouse was the basement. And the secretary had the worst job because you never had any money

so the treasurer never had to do any although there I think there were talks about like okay out of our allowance I forgot about the treasure part where we did like chip in money for something for our allowance let's give 10% of it every week and then we can do something fun absolutely we would do that at chinchin too

where it was like and we did it a few times where it was like hey put 10% of your tips in here and we'll all go to Disneyland and so there were like Disneyland trips and stuff like that nice I was the secretary of my school student council on fifth grade. Wow.

I even ran and had to make a speech to be voted secretary. Who wants to do it? You're basically just stonographer. I liked writing things down. I ran for student. You've been writing this entire time. I know.

I've been writing my name. Everything we've been saying. All my little piss pigs who want to buy a book. I ran for student council president and was a humiliating defeat. Oh, really? Wow.

No, it wasn't. It was more like later. I was like, why did I do that? I know. I look back and I'm like, that was a lot of effort. Yeah. I was on student council, though.

I got my friend elected to president Like I was his campaign manager Sure you were like his Whatever the fuck I can't think of the guy's name Who Who? James Carville

Carville yes Was he the campaign manager For Clinton? Yeah I saw that movie It's your economy stupid But what I noticed was Everyone put so much effort Into doing these super long banners

That they would decorate with paint And puff and puffing paint And your eye never would go to them because they weren't, it was always just like, okay, whatever. They're too long to read. They're too long to read and eventually your eye would gloss over them because everyone was doing them. So all I did was I Xeroxed hundreds, if not thousands of just sheets of, if not, hundreds of millions. If not. Just sheets of paper that said Washington, Lincoln, and then my friend's last name.

Wow. and stapled those all over the school and it was really eye-popping and eye-catching and everyone was like paid attention to it. That's really interesting. Do you think there are any student council presidents? Are you being so sarcastic? I actually wasn't.

But I knew it sounded like that. What if he really had achieved such heights as you designed for him? And he was the first student council president on Mount Rushmore. Well, he was expelled by... We're adding a fifth head. But wait.

He was expelled by... the end of the year. Wow. PPJ wanted to know if, like, if we camp. Yeah, and would you camp again? I wouldn't, we've, we've talked about actually during COVID, right before COVID, we had a whole trip planned that you guys were supposed to come to in Montana. We were, oh yeah.

Where we were going to, and it was sort of like glamping, but you had. Yeah, yeah. And so we just didn't do it. But it would still be fun to do it again. I might do it. I mean, I, I, I, somewhere between, I think I could hand. handle, I mean, glamp a guy could definitely handle. I would glamp.

I would glamp hard. Somewhere between that and absolute like hiking, you know, roughing it kind of thing. I would just, if there's something in between glamping and camping, I would do that. That's what, that's what I'm saying. Gamping. I'm saying that. Clamping. Damping because that's between C and G.

All right. Well, so is F. Eamping. Famping. Oh, no. That's a little old. What about stamping? What about stamping?

What about stamping? What about? vamping out of it. All right, let's hear another one. Okay. Thank you,

JCP. I'm looking. He's a just jig. Gina Jutter and Pelly. Keep closing these. Keep closing the window. Oh, by the way,

as of this recording, I'm just back from Philadelphia where I met many people who identify themselves as PIS pigs. And now it's the normalization of it is making me uncomfortable. Let's go back.

It's becoming real comfortable. Yeah. It backfired. But I also want to say to the people, there were people that waited after the second show on Saturday. And I came out and I was burdened by a bunch of shit that I had to carry. And so I did not stay to say hi. But thank you all for coming in the show. And I'm sorry, I could not stop.

Aw. Sounds fun. He's a good guy, folks. Hi, Scott Paul and this is Dylan. This is Dylan here. And I know we all do that Paul thinks his name should be. Mr. Peacock, but I'm curious if you could rename each other, what does Paul think Scott and Lauren's names should be?

Mm-hmm. And what does Scott think Paul and Lauren's name should be? And what does Scott think Paul and Lauren's name should be? You don't understand what I mean. He's ahead of me. Piss Pig out. Loved it. Yeah, what do you think our name should be?

Well, let's see. You got blue hat over here. Oh, my God. Um. I'm also wearing a blue hat. That's what I was talking about. That's going to be complicated. It's both blue hat.

I could see Scott's name being Richard. Richard. Why Richard? I could see you being a Richard. Like a Richard the third type or a poor Richard. No, you'd be deformed. In that scenario, I would be deformed. You would literally be a Richard the third time.

I'm going to keep my name then. And Lauren. Uh-huh. I could see Lauren being a Diane. Oh, you know what? I was thinking about that name yesterday. Yeah. That's a nice name.

It's my first crush. It was a Diane. Wow. And I was thinking about steak Diane. Steak Diane? Mm-hmm. What is that? I thought it'd be a, I don't know,

but I thought it'd be a good before and after for Will of Fortune. Steak Diane Keaton. Do they hire people for one clue? Yeah. That's one for that. They can use it if anyone hears this. So Pat Sajak is leaving the Wheel of Fortune?

I know. We should do it the three of us together. They're probably going to have Ken Jennings do it. What if that other guy The Jeopardy guy got back in the mix and was like You know, it didn't work out for Jeopardy The executive rooster Jeopardy

Let me tell you what's Take Diane's Wait, I want to give you your names Okay, what tell me what that is It's a dish of pan fried beefsteak With a sauce made from the seasoned pan-chuses Sounds good It was originally cooked table side Sometimes flambayed

And so I must have had it It looks pretty good So I must have had it If it used to be served table table table side? I must have had. Yeah. No, I'm reading ahead. So I was like, I bet I had this when I was in London. I just saw somebody. I saw somebody too.

The baker. The baker is here. Oh, yeah, there's the baker. She's picking something else. Okay, so your name and your name. Okay, let me think. If I didn't know you and I was like, oh, there's like, I, I had to think of what I'm saying. Okay. You would be. She's talking to me.

You would be, hold on. I'm working. I'm working. Okay. Does it help if I just. Turn around. Processing. Yeah. Philip. Philip. Oh, I could see you as a Philip.

Okay. And your name, sir, is Sam. Hmm. Sam. Come on, do you see that? Short for Samantha. Do you see it? Samantha who?

Remember that show? Yeah, I do. Samantha who? I don't feel like a sequel to Doctor. You're really fighting against that, huh? I'm not trying to fight against it. You're really bumping up against that.

It bumps me. Okay. I'm going to say a new name for you. Okay. Your name is Dilip. Okay. This is good. Philip and Dilip.

Yeah. Philip and Dilip. I actually think I can see myself with a Dilip. And you guys always like bonged into each other when you're walking. Oh. Why? Ouch. All of our names?

Wait, did you give? I know you did. No idea. Orvel. Okay. Orville. And you're. Plapaplito?

Oh my God. Plap plato. It's very musical. Yeah. It's good. It's, it's... Plapa plato. It's the sound of like rain falling in it.

I'm... Plopapapito. What do you think? Yeah, I love it. Orvel. Orvel and Plapapito. Yeah. And then what would your name be?

Oh, I have to give myself a name? That wasn't part of the deal. Yeah, I made a part of the deal. I like to make deals. I like to make deals. Dr. So you've gone to medical school Yes, in this, Dr. Porn Watcher?

Dr. Pimble Pover. Ew, okay, can we go? Do you think there's someone a doctor named Dr. Pimple Papper who's like, they stole my thing? That's my actual name. And not a doctor either. The first name is doctor.

Yes. I work at the bank. Counten Penny. And watching people put them in rolls. All right, we do have to go. We do. So remember, Hague Claims 8, if you would like to send us a three-term. Send us.

We'll do that on the next episode. Send us steak, Diane, by the way. If you'd like to send a steak, Diane in dry ice, do so. Yeah. And I. But if you'd like to say, hold on. Well, I usually can serve table-side, cooked tableside. Usually it gets cooked table-side.

And so I probably had it. If you'd like to send us a table, go ahead. Yeah. Assembled. Assembled. But listen, if you want to send us a three-cher, write to us at Threatomusa at gmail.com and send us a fun game like a game you and your dumb friends play.

And then Lauren is threatening to put this very underwhelming video of the fish up on the Freedom USA account. It'll be out. That's where people can find it. Freedom USA. I want to clarify, the listener's not dumb. It's their friends who are dumb. Yes.

Yes. Yes. I want to say I have a show coming up on August 4th at Dynasty Typewriter. No. It's an improv show and it's going to be a fun, big fun time. How do you know it's fun if it's improv? Because I know that I'm going to put together a group that's stupendous. But it might be terrible.

No, every time it's really fun. This time will be even more fun because there's going to be more people. It's going to be really fun. Whoa. I want to tell you something. Yeah. Sunday July 9th. Where are we in history right now?

We're before that. we're before that Varietopia No we're into July At this point no Oh then I don't know I'm announcing my show You can still announce it

Oh it's fine It's August 4th Save the date It's August 4th July 9th Loddrum 7 p.m. Varietopia It's going to be great

We have great guests Fun lineup Don't miss it And then August 26th Portland We're at the Aladdin Theater That show has been selling well

and I have not done any promo for it at all. Amazing. So get those tickets. What's the Aladdin theater? It's a wonderful theater in Portland. Do you have to like rub anything to get in there? Yeah. It's a lamp.

Okay. That's good. The pause was a little weird. Yes. No, you have to go to this old curiosity shop. On one of the shelves there is an ancient mystic lamp. You rub it and then there's a bouncer that says, what's the password? And the genie tells you the password, whispers in your ear.

There's no password. You get nervous. And then the bouncer is like, I'm fucking. with you. And then he lets you in. Got it. And then the genie shows you to your seat. Oh, how nice.

So he's like an usher. So he's kind of doing a lot, though, because every single person. Yes. Okay. So it could take a while to get in. Yes. So plan accordingly.

So come eight hours early. And then if you want to hear, look, three visiting on the twos every Tuesday. We're re-releasing old episodes in the feed. And then if you want to hear ad-free episodes, go to CBB World or Stitcher Premium. and that's going to do it for this episode. Loves it.

It loves it, my precious. Yeah. Goodbye. Are you team Batman or Spider-Man? Is the ultimate dish pizza or tacos? Smash Boom Best will help settle those debates and so many more. Every episode, we take two cool things, smash them together, and we see which one is best. Debaters use facts, jokes, stories, and more to argue for their side, and it's all judge.

by a teenager. Because who is better at judging than a teen? It's fun. It's weirdly informative. It's smash boom best. Get it wherever you get your podcasts.