Threedom - Threevisiting: Benji Butts
Episode Date: July 9, 2024Threevisiting on the Tues: Scott, Paul & Lauren discuss dining out post-Covid, naps and Raya before playing May I Take Your Order? Send Threetures and emails to threedomusa@gmail.com. Leave us a v...oicemail at HAGCLAIMS8.com. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Hi, it's me, Ricky Lake.
You probably know me from my hit 90s talk show,
but if I'm being totally honest,
I was juggling so much and didn't have time to stop
and think about what truly went into living
a full and vibrant life.
Well, fast forward to today,
I'm 55 and a half years old and I am happier than ever.
And I'm so excited to help you find your joy
on my new show, The High Life with Ricky Lake.
Together we'll learn new ways to live better. Listen, The High Life with Ricky Lake.
Together we'll learn new ways to live better.
Listen to The High Life with Ricky Lake from Lemonada Media coming July 16th, wherever
you get your podcasts.
Hey everybody.
That includes me.
And me.
Thanks for listening to this week's episode.
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Who's this guy?
I don't know but I like him.
Sir, sir could you please? I think he's a little crap. Hey Paul. Sorry about button. Who's this guy? I don't know, but I like him. Sir, sir, could you please?
I think he's a little crab.
Hey, Paul.
Sorry about that, who was that guy?
Someone took your place for a minute.
Yeah.
That little crab.
And we liked him better.
Why do the crabs do that?
Freedom!
["Freedom!" by The Bunches plays over the music playing over the video.]
Freedom!
Freedom!
Freedom! Freedom! Freedom!
Freedom!
Boots with the fur.
Crocs without the fur.
Summer Crocs, everyone's looking at her.
Her sweaty toes.
Nobody knows.
Ohs, ohs, ohs, ohs, ohs. Guys, it's summer, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh I was gonna say. This is not an ad. I gotta stress, this is the actual show.
This is the show and we're telling you,
if you don't have Crocs right now,
you need them right now and there is no discount code.
Just buy them.
Just go buy a thing that's not paying us to tell you this
and enjoy.
In fact, Crocs is ignoring us very hard,
much like our gibbets that says ignore.
Ignore. They are ignore its advice yeah you know
what I need to I need to really try to get in touch with Crocs because I feel
like we could get something like a movie star would be able to get in touch with
Crocs I'll put somebody on it we'll see what happens I'll start with an
Instagram story and we'll see what happens yes by the way welcome to
freedom I'm Scott Aukerman. I'm Lauren Lapkus.
Okay, I'm Paul F. Tompkins.
He's wearing a P on his hat that stands for Paul.
No it doesn't.
It stands for Phillies, the Philadelphia Phillies,
the baseball team.
Are you happy though that your name starts with P?
Because- Of course I am.
It's a little secret, little bonus for me.
Yeah. Do you have another hat that says F and then another one that says T Of course I am. It's a little secret, little bonus for me.
Do you have another hat that says F and then another one that says T and you could wear
them every day?
All at the same time, like a loony tick?
A loony tick.
A three-hatted loony tick.
A three-hatted loony tick.
I could have one bill in the front, two bills on the side.
Yes.
And then take them off subsequently.
P F T. Yes. You're always screaming your name, right? the front two bills on the side yes and then take them off subsequently PFT yes
you're always screaming your name right I'm never not screaming my name
here's what I like about doing the show it gives me a break from screaming my
name for an hour but only one hour so back to work guys I hate to bust in here
with a topic but I have some some news. Well, since the last episode.
Yes, I forgot.
I forgot to slam this in the last episode.
Well, OK, so it didn't happen in between the episodes because we took.
No, it didn't.
To we took two hours and 15 minutes or so in between the previous episode
in the last episode, it was going to be two hours and Scott needed
an extra 15 minutes for some reason.
We didn't ask questions.
He had to drink milk from a bottle.
What's your goddamn topic?
Last night, Janie and I went to a restaurant.
What? Yes.
What? We went to we had a double date with friends.
We're all fully vaxxed.
We went to this restaurant. We're We're all fully vaxxed. We went to this restaurant.
We're all, we were awfully vaxxed.
That's like, dripping in the stuff.
We were covered.
We were soaking wet with vaccine.
And so this restaurant that we used to go to all the time,
their staff was all vaxxed.
I know which one.
I know what we went to after a star is born. When you couldn't get into a star is born. Thated? I know which one. The one we went to after A Star Is Born?
When you couldn't get into A Star Is Born?
That's no, a different one.
You were refused entry into A Star Is Born?
I was refused entry.
I have a guess, and can Josh bleep it out if I say it?
Yeah, who cares?
The motherfuckin'.
That restaurant that starts with an A
that's like Italian food?
No, that's the one Scott was talking about.
Well, go there.
It is good.
I can't wait to go back.
Believe that whole long thing I said.
We, no, leave it at.
We so we went and had a night dining in at a restaurant.
I was wondering how it was going to feel.
It did not feel weird.
You know what I mean?
It actually felt, it was very refreshing.
It was like, this feels normal.
We were inside.
We were inside.
Did you have to wear masks the entire time?
We did not have to wear masks.
The staff were also wearing masks
and they still have a lot of their tables taken out.
So there's a lot of space between other patrons.
Space between.
There's a lot of space between other patrons.
And COVID droplets
are staying around our table here.
And we had a lovely time.
But it did not feel, it didn't feel strange to me.
It felt immediately familiar and like, oh yeah, this is what life is
like. How is your COVID by the way?
I mean, I was more other people's problem than mine now.
There, you know, they, they opened up some restaurants on Robertson.
I was going to see if you wanted to go Paul. But, uh,
Cause you know, I love Robertson. Yeah. But all the restaurants on Robertson,
they opened up for outdoor. They're like putting in, like every restaurant
is out on the street and stuff.
They're closing down the street and all that.
Wow.
Out on the street.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
But yeah, I wanna go out.
Out on the street.
I don't want to go out in the daylight.
I feel like I can keep going.
Be the bad boy of town.
Oh, we gonna rock down to electric avenue
and then we'll take it higher.
Oh!
We gotta.
What a singing style.
Mr. Eddie Grant.
Mr. Eddie Grant who also did the theme
for Romancing the Stone.
I'm Romancing the Stone!
Never leaving your barn alone!
Every night and every day.
Lauren's showing her teeth right now, which means I think she's angry.
That's a sign of aggression. Yeah. She's telling us to stay away.
But here's the thing. So that felt very normal to me.
It did not feel like, how do we do this again?
And there's a sort of meme that I'll admit,
I've laughed at some of this sometimes,
but the idea that we don't know how to,
we're not gonna know how to be around each other again.
And it's like, no, we are.
I mean, because also we've been talking to people
through our fucking computers,
and you've seen people in distanced hangs
and stuff like that.
I feel like it's a very- You lose it within 10 stuff like that. I feel like it's a very-
You lose it within 10 minutes.
Yeah, I feel like it's a very small sliver of people
who absolutely are not talking to anyone,
have not talked to anyone for a year.
Well, also it's just like, you know, driving,
I've barely driven this year.
I have maybe like, you know, 50 miles on my car this year.
But get me out there within two minutes
and I'm like slamming on the horn and going and saying,
get the fuck out of the way.
Like it all just comes back to you.
Drive over to me, it comes back,
but I do feel rusty every time I get in the car.
But you're the tin man.
Yeah.
I feel free when I get in the car.
I feel like that's when it feels the most normal
because I can have-
You have the most power over life and death.
Well, I mean, because I don't have my mask on
and I can have my windows down, my music.
It feels like a normal experience.
Yeah.
Well, we'll, the three of us,
we'll have to get together at some point, but.
It's inevitable, I guess.
Yeah.
I mean, we were seeing each other.
You guys are like some of the only people
I've really seen in person.
Yeah, but you still stayed away.
I didn't get to.
Well, yeah, you didn't get to come bless me.
Okay, come on.
We didn't start each recording
with our usual 10 minute hug.
Lauren, have you been part of an improv group
that is that touchy feely where you hug and pump yourself up
that way?
You help yourself up.
Yeah, I've definitely been part of a lot of improv teams
over the years and there's varying degrees
of loopty loopy sorta stuff going on beforehand.
You know what I mean?
It's very theater.
Like I feel like when I was in Chicago,
that was even more the case.
You were in Chicago?
What, when?
But like I feel like the energy around improv
there was even more like, this is everything kind of thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Paul Rust reminded me on,
when he was on Bang Bang the other week,
that when he and Neal Campbell did the live show,
the Jeffrey show, that I came backstage before the show
and caught them stretching before the show.
And then I guess in my intro,
I made fun of them for stretching before the show.
It's just like, you know, you get into comedy
so you don't have to stretch, you know?
Yeah, I mean, I think some of those things are nice
just to like feel like you're focused
and you're about to do something.
Well, also if you're gonna do something physical,
if you're gonna move around.
Yeah, but I think there was,
I did a lot more corny things than I'm willing to do now.
What corny things are you willing to do now?
What can we get you to do right now?
Right now, I'd squawk like a chicken.
Okay, let's see it.
Let's see it. It was, squawk. Let's see it.
It was more that I feel like now,
you spend so many years rehearsing for improv,
and doing weekly improv practice,
and then for each team that you're on,
and then at a certain point you kind of go,
I think we're good enough to not do that anymore.
And then that feels amazing.
And then you're like, why would I ever stand around
and go like beep boop bop boop, teach you that?
Like it's just like not necessary.
I kind of feel that way too that,
because I've gotten into improv relatively late,
but there are some people in the seventies
when I was in my seventies.
Yes, and you've been aging backwards ever since.
Yes, bebe, Benji butts.
So, um...
Benji butts.
Benji butts.
So, um...
What I was part of Benjamin Button
is he just had a really nice butt.
And everyone was like, yeah, the aging thing,
but like his butt.
I mean, have you seen the movie?
Well, he does have a nice butt at one point.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Sold!
So, um, some groups, I've noticed that some people, uh, Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Sold.
So, some groups I've noticed that some people,
people that I don't improvise with often,
or I've only like improvised with one time,
are people that tend to do warmups,
so they wanna do like little scenes
before a show or something.
And this is people, maybe it's because of the presence of me
because they all know each other,
but I always got the impression like,
oh no, they do this before every show.
Whereas I don't do that because I,
first of all, I never learned those warmups.
Right.
And you can't learn them anymore.
Yeah, but also, no, it's too late.
You're not a baby.
I just pointed this too late. Yeah, but it's not like, like there are some things. It it's too late. You're not a baby. But I- I just pointed this too late.
Yeah, but it's not like, like there are some things- It's not too late.
To learn it.
To learn it good.
To learn it good.
But things like vocal exercises, I think, still have a use no matter how long
you've been doing a thing, whether it's singing or acting, if you do like your
tongue twisters and shit like that.
Like I get that to, sure that you're limber,
you know, with your mouth on stage.
And with singing, of course, you gotta loosen up your,
you make your throat is in tune.
I mean, you are making me think that like,
there are moments where like you're with a team
and you haven't seen each other in a while.
And then like you're kind of all on different pages
where like it would be helpful to-
Center yourself. Yeah. And kind of a while. And then like, you're kind of all on different pages where like it would be helpful to.
Center yourself.
Yeah.
And kind of like check in and go like,
Cheerios, rice crispies.
Wait, you got jumped into the Proud Boys?
Do they say that?
Or they just talk like that?
That's apparently that's like,
one of the initiation things is you have to name
a bunch of cereals while guys are beating the shit out of you.
Oh.
Yeah. Why would anyone?
I found that I need to say,
if I'm about to have a really uncomfortable conversation
with someone, I need to say the words out loud
for the first time before I talk to them.
Because you know how, you know how like, that's why-
Cool-op, stop touching my stuff.
By which I mean my balls.
And then you open the bedroom door.
Coolop, I want to watch TV, my show tonight.
No, but you know how, you know,
that's why you go to therapy,
is so you can say stuff out loud for the first time,
because if you don't, you keep it inside or whatever.
But you know, the whole thing, if it's mentionable, it's manageable.
You know what I mean?
Like a lot of people who have really bad problems
just internalize everything, right?
But I found that I need to,
if I'm about to have an uncomfortable conversation
with someone where I need to lower the boom
and I'm not great at confrontation, you know what I mean?
I need to practice saying it out loud
because if I don't, the first time I say it out loud
will be like filled with emotion, you know?
So you were like those scenes in movies that I do not like
where somebody is practicing a big speech in the mirror.
Not in the mirror.
I just need to like literally say it out loud.
You're fired.
No, never, no, say out loud. You're fired.
No, no, no, no.
Say it different.
You're fired.
You are fired.
Well, I think that's helpful too because sometimes if I just think about something that I want
to say, I like forget all my points by the time I'm actually having the conversation.
Yeah.
Like on the few instances where I've had to fire a manager, for instance, you know what I mean? And I've been with them for a long time. Yeah. Like if you, like on the few instances where I've had to fire a manager, for instance,
you know what I mean?
And I've been with them for a long time.
Yeah.
You know, if I were to just say what I was feeling
off the top of my head, it would get like very emotional.
Oh, it's too emotional, yeah.
You know what I mean?
And so, and I wouldn't even be able to say like,
I'm firing you.
Yeah, you just go like, I love you so much.
So I just need to like say the,
say my points out loud ahead of time.
So I can do them sort of like without emotion.
Anyway, that's, that's me.
But in terms of warming up.
That is you.
That's so you.
Yeah, that's you in a nutshell.
That's all about me.
What are you Eve?
It's all about you.
All about me.
I'm Eve.
No, I'm Steve. I'm Eve.
No, I'm Steve.
I'm sorry.
I love how people use that made up story about Adam and Eve to prove that it was Adam and
Eve not Adam and Steve.
Well, it could have been anything.
Yeah, I mean, it's like, oh, no, it was like fish legs that turn into monkey legs and then
we're here.
That's what it was.
Fish sticks on Friday. It wasn't anything to do with those people.
But I mean, you got to, but it's like, if you believe it, then you believe it.
What are you going to do?
What do you know?
I love you.
I love you.
You know, I mean, you're Maryl Hemingway.
I love you.
Oh my God.
I tried to watch that movie. I don't know if we've talked about this before.
Right after watching the documentary.
Manhattan?
No, but way before the documentary.
I tried to watch Manhattan.
That's frozen.
I know, he's just bored.
After...
Let it go!
I tried to watch it after all that stuff happened
when it originally happened, when we were all hearing about it.
And it's absolutely insane.
I watched the first 20 minutes of that movie,
and I was like, this is disgusting.
Yeah, I think I only saw that movie when I was in high school,
which is just a weird perspective on it,
because I'm like, I'm not sure you have a cute experience.
I think you can watch that movie and be like,
oh, that's how, what it was like in the late seventies.
You know what I mean?
Was it though?
I guess in New York.
Yeah, I guess, you know,
and you kind of go like, well, okay.
That's, isn't it interesting how things are different now?
Like you don't watch it going like, oh wow, that's crazy.
Because now it could not happen.
You just kind of watch it going like, oh, in 1979, yeah,
that's what was acceptable.
But was it not illegal then?
I don't even know.
Good question.
We didn't get age of consent until 1999.
Isn't that weird?
Lincoln Park came out with their album.
They were like, we gotta get an age of consent going on.
So age of consent laws started in the 1800s.
Yes!
Were you fact checking me, Lauren?
I actually just wanted to know.
In 1830, the age of consent for marriage was raised to 18 years old for males and 16 for females.
For men.
That's so gross.
It's crazy that people got married when they were 14. It's crazy that people still get married when they're 14. That's so gross. It's crazy that people got married when they were 14.
It's crazy that people still get married when they're 14.
That's so sad.
It's crazy that people get married.
I'll just reduce it down to that.
It's an archaic institution.
It means nothing today.
It was originally about land.
Did you read that article about how we might live to 200?
What?
Not us?
Maybe, I mean, they say our lifespan keeps doubling and at some point we're going to get to be
200, but I was thinking, yeah, but we all look like fucking shit at 60 or whatever.
It's not good to go to 200.
That's going to be nasty.
I mean, well-
I don't think people look like shit at 60 anymore.
I think that-
No, they look like shit at 100.
For sure.
But like 90, 80.
I'll tell them with their faces.
But, but, but, but, but, but-
70. When you look back,
I feel like people looked.
I'm loving it.
Holding back the years.
I feel like people looked much older, younger,
even just in like the 50s.
No, people are looking younger at their,
when they're older now, but I just,
why did we start talking about this about?
We don't have a reason for anything.
I know. No one knows.
Why did the whole age come up?
But anyway, I don't know.
Would you want to be 200? Age of consent.
Oh, age of consent.
Oh, why would anyone get married at 20
if you're gonna live to be 200?
I think I'd wanna be, live to 200
so I could feel like a vampire.
If I lived to 200. And move to New Orleans.
If I had a new life and I lived to 200,
I would get married at like 150.
And then...
That seems reasonable.
You know, but like, if people start living to 200,
do you think the whole conception of marriage
will start to go away?
I mean, especially with like alimony and stuff.
Like, can you imagine getting married-
Yeah, Bill Gates became Melinda Gates
for like a hundred years. Yeah, can you imagine getting married? Yeah, Bill Gates would be paying Melinda Gates for like a hundred years?
Yeah, can you imagine like getting married at 20, divorcing at 30, and then having to
pay Alamone for the next 170 years?
I mean, I'm sure we know by now, but I am curious how much money Melinda Gates is going
to get.
Oh man.
It's got to be in the thousands.
They've been together since before he was rich, right?
Yeah. They were just two poor people who were selling malaria together.
And then he said, what's the computers?
Yeah.
How can we track everyone on earth?
We gotta trick them somehow while I'm in a serum. It is crazy, like I clicked on a tweet about them divorcing
and I read some comments underneath it,
which I shouldn't do, but it was all like,
like these people are finally getting what is coming to them.
And finally Satan is getting, it's comeuppance.
And it like, I'm like... Cause they're getting divorced?
I think it's probably fine.
Like what do they think about Bill Gates?
Satan must be embarrassed.
Well, first of all, they think they,
like they're focusing on the wrong thing.
Like everyone kind of, I feel like has agreed
at a certain point that getting divorced is a good thing.
So it's like, he's probably having the time of his life.
Oh man.
What if he ends up on Raya?
Yeah, he's gonna be all hooking up with young comedians.
Okay, can we talk about the Ben Affleck on Raya thing?
I was just gonna say, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's dish.
Okay.
This is, okay, I don't know what-
This is a segment called Three Dish.
Three Dish!
And this is a segment called Three Dish
where we talk about TikTok.
Yeah, and only TikTok.
But so if you don't know what happens,
some woman on TikTok put out a TikTok saying
that she was thinking about the time that Ben Affleck
and she matched on Raya and she unmatched
thinking he was fake and then he sent her her a message and then she sent her an
Instagram, an Instagram found her on a different app.
Yes. A video message.
And then she would match me.
Then it's me.
And then, but then she played it.
She played this private message.
I just felt mortified for him.
I thought that was mortifying.
I agree.
I mean, and you know, it was for her.
Cause he said her name and she had a very specific name.
And he put a lot into it. He put a lot into, he put a lot of sauce on it.
He was flirting. He was flirting in the videos. It was supposed to be hot and I felt concerned about it.
And I felt kind of, I felt so, I felt like it was too personal. Like I just knew too much.
I don't think that should be allowed.
Well, I think if someone sends you a video,
that's the whole thing, right?
I mean, it's just like, how does anyone...
I thankfully, I was done with dating
before all of this stuff was invented,
but it's, I sound incredibly old, but I...
But it's just how could anyone ever,
especially if you're famous, how could you ever say like,
okay, I'm gonna send a...
I feel like I would just retreat into a cocoon
and never date anyone ever again.
I think, yeah.
Yeah, it seems really hard.
I think about that a lot,
like people that are at that level of fame that,
but it's also like, well, you gotta factor that in
when you do things, you know what I mean?
Like if Ben Affleck wasn't famous.
Like if you do Armageddon,
you gotta factor in that at some point,
someone's gonna post your Instagram. That's why Like if you do Armageddon, you gotta factor in that at some point someone's gonna post your Instagram.
That's why it's called the Armageddon factor.
But if you're Ben Affleck isn't famous.
And he still did that same message.
Right.
Like, and it was just like, why did you unfriend me or whatever, or why did you unmatch me?
Um, you would goof on me.
You know what I mean?
Like, it's a lot, it's a lot weirder if you're not famous.
I mean, he's doing it, but he's trying to prove it's me.
I have to prove it's me because no one would think it was me.
But then it's like, that's so vulnerable.
And then that's embarrassing.
But I'm also like, hey, why don't you match back with him?
You know what I mean?
Like, I don't know.
Yeah, exactly.
Look, he's walking around,
spilling Dunkin' Donuts everywhere he goes.
I'm interested.
I'm like.
He's the Dunkin' Donuts band.
He's just hanging out, man.
He, now what do we think about him and JLo
getting back together?
I don't know.
I mean, if this woman, you know, did that to him,
I can only assume that he went back
into J.Lo's loving embrace to-
Comfort him.
J.Lo loves getting engaged.
She loves it.
Nothing more.
She's addicted to it.
I think she's done it five times.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Has she ever taken the plunge?
Well, yeah, she got married to Mark Anthony, right?
Mark Anthony.
Not Mark Anthony.
Oh, who am I thinking?
Oh, yeah.
That's like an old-
The guy from Shakespeare.
Yeah.
Well, pardon me that that's my frame of reference
instead of Mark Anthony.
Oh my God, I remember one time seeing Gwyneth Paltrow
on the Oscars refer to Anthony Hopkins as Antony Hopkins, because that's how people
pronounce it over there.
And it's like, come on lady.
That should be as embarrassing as Ben Affleck
sending that video.
Absolutely, 100%.
We should bring it back.
Bring back that video.
But I-
Did they date?
Gwyneth and Ben?
Yeah.
I feel like they did.
Why not?
Let's say they did.
But I think you know how it's,
we were talking on the last episode about consent to,
consent to,
consent to record a phone thing.
Yeah.
Remember consent to record a phone thing from last episode.
Penis get hard at 13.
And shouldn't-
Jack Bauer, E24, big hit.
Shouldn't it be illegal to post someone's video message
at some point, especially if they're famous?
Yeah, but you know what?
Now with cameo, I'm like, it's like,
that feels like cameo. Word up.
Yeah.
Tell me what's the word a bad ass like.
I heard it's your birthday and your friend wants to say-
They would rule out- I would do cameo if it was cameo and your friend wants to say. They would rule.
I would do cameo if it was cameo and they sang your messages.
Yeah. No, I think if you were on cameo, you have to sing everything like a cameo.
Tell me what's the word.
It's your high school graduation and you're feeling good. Yeah, but Ben Affleck, I, you know,
I read some people talking about it
and they're all like, what a creep.
And I was just like, man, I feel bad for him.
And I feel like she shouldn't have done that.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
I don't think it was, well, Lauren, what do you think?
Was it creepy or was it just like, okay, dude?
Well, to me, it was a little creepy.
I felt unsettled by the video itself,
but I also understood how turned on you were.
I feel like it definitely did not come off
the way he intended it to come off.
No, and she's much younger than him,
so that's also part of what makes it feel really weird.
Like you're like, why is he doing this?
Also, why did he find me in another app,
which is kind of a difficult thing to do if you don't have the last name of the person. It's like, there's just doing this? Like also, why did he find me in another app, which is like a kind of a difficult thing to do
if you don't have the last name of the person.
It's like, there's just like a lot about it
that feels kind of over the top.
Well, but it's a little bit-
That's what people are saying,
oh, it's so difficult to find you.
No, okay, maybe it's not difficult,
but it's invasive to then send a message
like the person unmatched you.
So then you're assuming it's because you are- But it was true. No, but you're assuming they unmatched you because they don you're assuming it's because you are.
But it was true.
No, but you're assuming they unmatched you
because they don't know that it's really you.
And that was true.
She said it was true.
She said that's why she did it.
Yeah, she said she unmatched him
because she didn't think it was the real Ben Affleck.
Okay, well, so he guessed right,
but I'm still saying-
It must happen to him all the time.
There's something a little creepy about it.
That being said, I still think like,
I would be delighted that happened. Like, I don't like, I would be delighted that happened.
Like, I don't think like I would be upset about it.
I think it's this woman using it as internet cred.
Yeah, cause it becomes hilarious when it's a TikTok.
Because when you were in possession
of something like that, it has value
to give you like internet fame for one day.
And she did it.
And she made us all laugh at Ben Affleck for one day.
Great.
And we'll never see her again.
Oh, don't be too sure, Scott.
I may see her on Raya one of these days.
Because I'm gonna match with her on Raya very soon.
I was on my friend's Raya and saw some celebrities on there.
I think I've talked to you about this,
but that was pretty interesting.
I mean, it's a whole different little world on that app,
but that's part of why you would think it was Ben Affleck,
because it's an approved process
and people have to get approved to get on it
and a lot of people are rejected from it.
So I don't know.
Well, yeah, I mean, can anyone apply to get on that site?
So when it was first,
my friend who's on it was first talking about it,
it was all just celebrities.
And then they expanded it to like influencers
or people who are artistic.
Oh sure.
You know what I mean?
So like people who are in the arts, you know,
like they had to expand it in order to have like more
hot young girls at BedAff like would go after.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know.
Lauren, you have something to say?
No. Nothing. All right, Let's go to a break then. Okay.
All right.
Bye.
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Available to buy now wherever books are sold. Hey, Paul. Hey, it's me and Lauren. Hey, I have a sock
on the door. Oh, so what are you doing here?
Excuse me.
Do you need the sock?
Don't be gonzy.
Okay, hey, hey.
Who is she?
Just hide under the covers.
Who is she?
Don't worry about it.
Hey, we wanted to ask you,
does anything motivate you to cook more than having-
Oh, no, not a question about my motivations.
Does anything motivate you to cook more
like having high quality ingredients on hand?
You know what, get ready to be surprised nothing does
Nothing motivates me more for that and guys. I've been cooking a ton recently because of butcher box really
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But with butcher boxes pork which is raised crate free by the way
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Well, we were all shocked you made him by yourself. We didn't believe you
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The one thing I've heard about butcher box is the big draw is the convenience can attest of it less trips to the grocery store
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Plus I also heard ButcherBox gives you curated tips
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Well that's right.
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Can I tell you something real about this?
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So we started advertising with Cook Unity
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He's off script.
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That's wild.
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He's not looking at the paper.
Wow.
You know what's good about it?
Well, let me tell you about my experience, okay?
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I was blown away.
But I need to talk about what you experienced.
Well, what I like about it is like the portion,
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This is like good portions that make you full at the end,
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You're sated.
Yes. But you're not gorging yourself. the time. You're sated. Yes.
You're not gorging yourself.
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I like it a lot.
I personally was blown away by the taste and quality
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Yeah.
Yeah, that was a good one.
It was perfectly seasoned and the shrimp
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We had some blueberry pancakes delivered.
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Wow.
So it's all made in advance.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You don't cook it.
It's depending on your microwave. You might heat it up You don't cook it. It's depending on your microwave.
And they might heat it up.
You heat it up.
It's depending on your microwave.
It's like two or three minutes.
I do three because I have a less powerful microwave.
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Your microwave is 10 watts.
Mm-hmm.
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We're back.
I have a question because earlier before we started recording, Paul said that he
took a nap and he said that he only takes naps on top of the sheets.
What are you, the girl who outed Ben Affleck?
Here's the video.
Hey, that's me.
But you said naps are not for getting under the covers and I disagree.
Well you should drive by our house where we have a sign on the lawn that says, in this
house we nap on top of the covers. And that's all it says.
Yeah, I don't know why, here's our arrangement, okay?
On the bed, we have your top sheet.
You have a duvet. 500 beanie babies.
Duvet or comforter.
We have 500 beanie babies.
They're all the Princess Diana one.
Yeah, that's good.
But then we also have then we also have a blanket that is like a sort of faux furry blanket that is folded
at the foot of the bed that we pull up at night.
Sometimes you will sleep on top of the duvet for a nap.
You'll sleep on top of the duvet under that fuzzy blanket.
Under that fuzzy.
That sounds comfortable.
It is.
It's very nice. I think a nap, I can do it on the couch with no blankets that usually it just,
at some point, my brain shuts down and it goes, you need to be asleep right now.
And I'll just like fall asleep wherever I am.
So that'll be on the couch sometimes.
And I can do it without a blanket, but there's nothing better than a nap where
you just like, it's basically just going back to bed, but for only an eighth of the time.
That's the thing. Cause I have to really make a plan. I have to really put myself into the
head space of I'm going to fall asleep. Cause otherwise I feel like I should get up and
do something, even if I'm really, really tired.
Right.
So I have to.
Miami sound machine.
I turn on my sound machine. I put on my eye mask.
The rhythm gets me.
Come on, let me put on my sleep crown.
Just loud as hell.
And then I'll fall asleep.
For me, it's like if I'm at that point where I have to take a nap, I'm very tired.
And so the only thing I have to do really is to stop looking at my phone and just lay
there and let my mind go and then I'll fall asleep.
But I always set an alarm.
I don't like because I don't, it's not good to take.
Yeah. And it's not going to take naps for too long.
Like there's a certain amount of time that's like,
I think over a half hour is too long.
Really? I'm an hour guy.
Really?
I like an hour because I think I have about,
it takes me a while to wind down mentally.
And then, cause I don't, I never, you know,
I've never liked naps my whole life.
It's the only recently that I feel like,
in the past few years.
Me too, kind of, yeah.
I've started to get napped.
Falling back the years.
I will do 20 minutes is what I shoot for.
Wow.
You should do three times that.
I can't, man.
I can't.
I can't.
Cause then what happens, you wake up and you're like,
oh, where am I?
Yeah.
Oh, is that a doorbell?
I have a big long beard.
There's too much happening in my house
in terms of dogs barking or people ringing the doorbell
or what have you that I need the sound machine on.
Because if suddenly I finally drift off to sleep
and three minutes later I hear the dogs barking
at someone who's come to the door,
it just is infuriating.
That like, oh, I was asleep.
Those dogs, they make me so angry.
Does your dog, Lauren, does your dog bark a lot?
Only when someone's at the door.
Okay, and then she goes fucking nuts.
And she's like, ah!
Ah! They also- Stop it. when someone's at the door. Okay. And then she goes fucking nuts. And she's like, Ah, ah, ah.
They also,
I'm like, stop it.
When I'm walking them and we see the mail person
or an Amazon delivery person drive up,
they know the sound of their car or something.
Wow.
And so they bark at that,
like usually they don't bark at anyone on the street,
but if it is like an Amazon person
drives up to someone's house,
they'll go nuts because they just know that that is that person that comes to our house all the time.
What do they care?
That's what I'm saying. That's why I say to Georgia. I'm like, Georgia, we don't need to be smart though.
But I mean, here's the thing. Nothing bad ever happens. Come on. Remember this dogs. Like what happened? Oh, you're the person who takes care of you.
Open the door, got a package and close the door.
The end, shut up.
But we don't know with Molly,
we don't know what happened in her first year
when she was just a trash dog down in Mexico
who slept outside.
Trash dog.
How'd you get her?
Through Whitney Cummings, I think, had a hookup
and got us this dog.
And yeah, lived outside in Mexico and basically like fended for herself.
So we. But that's the thing.
That's OK.
It's like ingrained in them, maybe or something, because with Georgia,
it's like no one has ever come to the door and been a problem. So what? But
my friends. Sorry, my friends had a dog that they adopted.
Anytime you said the word abogado, the dog would go insane.
Wow. But doesn't that mean lawyer?
Yeah, it's lawyer. It's better.
And I was like, is she, and so my friend told me about it.
I was like, really?
And she said, and the next time I was over there, she said, watch.
And she just went, abogado.
And the dog started barking like crazy.
Wow, does she remember what happened the first time?
I wonder why he was a lawyer.
Yeah, I don't know how they,
I don't remember how they learned that.
Huh, interesting.
But it was definitely a trial and error thing of like,
what made the dog do this?
Hmm, that is weird. It was definitely a trial and error thing of like, what made the dog do this?
That is weird.
You must erase that knowledge from your brain. It's not, it's not serving you.
I've never seen it and I never will.
Come on, life's long enough.
We're all gonna be 200.
Michael Richards and who?
Just him.
No one else?
No one else.
It was a one man show like Mark Dwayne.
Lauren, how many Michael Richards movies have you seen?
Let's see.
UHF?
The Game.
I think he's not in The Game.
It's Michael Douglas.
What if Michael Douglas had played Kramer on Seinfeld?
Oh, Michael Richards is.
I would love that. Wait, who's Michael Richards?
Kramer from Seinfeld.
Kramer.
Oh, I just Googled him and it looked so different.
I was like, who is that?
It looks so different than Michael Douglas.
Yes.
He used it to his advantage.
Oh, so how many movies of his have I seen?
Is Seinfeld one long movie?
Yep.
He's 71?
Would you have guessed that?
Yeah, he's been around for a long time.
I thought he'd be younger.
He was way older than a long time, yeah.
Oh, I thought he'd be younger.
He was way older than everybody else in the cast, yeah.
He was on the TV show Fridays.
Isn't Cy called 71?
No fucking chance.
No fucking chance.
You shut your fucking mouth.
It was me, it's Ben Affleck.
He's 67, okay, he's not that much younger.
Yeah, it's pretty close.
I'm still surprised. I didn't realize that they were that much younger. Yeah, it's pretty close. I'm still surprised.
I didn't realize that they were that much older, I guess.
What if Michael Douglas had to enter as Kramer and do the slide and sort of like
stop and go, I would love it.
I bet he'd be OK at it because he's a good actor, right?
Or is he only good at his thing?
I mean, he's not a chameleon, although he did play Liberace in that one movie.
Oh, he was great.
And he was in Fatal Attraction.
Yeah, he played the same guy though in almost every movie.
Yeah, he's very much who he is, but I enjoy watching him.
Yeah.
But he's one of those people, and maybe we talked about this before, where he is, like, I feel like in the eighties, he was considered like really hot, but it's also like, yeah, you'd
see him in, you know what I mean?
Like that's pop up in scripts where the people would write where they're like young girls
talking about like, oh, well, if only he looked like Michael Douglas and you go 40 year old
is writing this.
I love that. Michael Douglas and you go right 40 year old is writing this
Like gold standard of hot man, I guess what's Google Michael Douglas young? Maybe I don't know I'm talking about I mean in this streets of San Francisco and everything. He was like sort of a heartthrob
Actually, he's Bay
By the get found my predator was at my findings, Michael Douglas' day.
Well, because I feel like my whole life he's been old.
Yeah, that's the thing is like, it's surprising when someone who your whole life has been
old, you realize you see a picture of them from 10 years before you knew who they were
and they're like gorgeous.
Or like Catherine Hepburn was always like that for me because in the 80s she was always
like, I'm Catherine Hepburn was always like that for me. Cause in the 80s she was always like,
I'm Catherine Hepburn.
And then you see her like in the 30s and you're like,
damn, good bang.
But she aged really well.
Like her face is like, you know, when you look at her,
I don't know, that to me is, I don't, I'm not aging that well.
She still looks great.
She's considering she's dead.
Yeah. When you go to her grave and dig her up.
Can I ask a possibly rude question?
What happened to Shelley Duvall?
Oh, I don't really know.
But she fell on hard times, right?
Yeah. Did you watch her?
I'm saying she I just read that.
Are you just saying things that sound like songs?
So cold blooded hard times. That's what I was trying to say. OK. Cold blooded hard times. She, I just read that. Are you just saying things that sound like songs now?
Cold Blooded Hard Times, that's what I was trying to say.
Oh, okay.
Cold Blooded Hard Times.
Shelley Duvall, I just read that interview with her.
I hear an echo.
It's from Paul, because he took off.
It's from me, you're welcome.
Enjoy your echo.
I took out my headphones momentarily
and you could hear the sound coming from the headphones
into the microphone.
Lauren is still confused.
I actually was looking at Shelly DeVall.
She, you know, she kind of went, she kind of went a little nutso and there was like a video interview with her and she, I don't know, it's, it's kind of sad.
I'll do research on my own time.
Yeah.
She lives in an, in the middle of nowhere and people kind of leave her alone. And, and, you know, it's kind of sad. I'll do Lisa to my own time. Yeah, she lives in the middle of nowhere
and people kind of leave her alone.
And you know, it's sad.
Cause yeah, she's great.
I was watching Popeye the other night
and she's so full of grace.
Yeah, she's so amazing in those old movies.
Yeah, she's, and you know what?
I have to confess, anytime I watch something
like I've been watching The Next Generation
or all the old
Star Trek's or whatever and an actor will come up that I recognize, I'll go on their
Wikipedia page and see what they're up to lately and if anyone is divorced I get sad.
But that is not.
I don't know what it is about them but when I see like she got married in 1991, they were
divorced in 1995.
I go, oh.
It seems that to me that doesn't do anything because I guess I've been divorced, but I
feel like it's just like, oh, cool.
Anyway, I feel really bad for him.
Especially if they never remarried, like they got divorced in 95 and then they were remarried.
I wonder about that.
But I feel like it's what's worse is when you see like their spouse
died or something and you're like, yeah, that's very sad.
I do think a lot of people that get divorced
don't get remarried.
Like, I think there's many people I've known who are like,
yeah, marriage is not for me.
I realized like, that wasn't something I wanted to do.
I know a lot of people
that have gotten divorced and remarried,
but I feel like I know just as many that never did again.
Because their marriage, their initial marriage,
was like, it was not in their nature
to be in a relationship like that.
And then they unfortunately found out the hard way
and so did their spouse.
Right.
Well, my starter marriage with Coolop is...
Almost over?
Yep.
At this point it's gone great, but I don't know.
I don't know what it is and I know it's irrational, but when I look up someone's Wikipedia page
and I see a divorce or even someone who's been married five times or something like
that, I go like oh
I wish you had them happiness there. They're entertaining me on my video screen right now, and I wish them happiness in their lives But you should write to them. Yeah, I should say hey, sorry
Style video sorry you got divorced in 1994. Are you okay? Hey, Jill Eikenberry. It's me
Hey, Jill Eikenberry, it's me. Sorry to hear that your husband died.
Jill Eikenberry.
From LA Law.
From LA Law.
Of course we all remember her and love her.
Yeah, it's very funny seeing people.
I don't even know what I'm going to say.
Never mind.
Keep going.
Just try to flesh it out. People I don't even know what I'm gonna say. Never mind. Oh
Just try to funny seeing people
Like Jill Eichenberry who were so like in our consciousness in you know when there were so few TV shows on the air and
Then they were popular for those seven years or something and you just know who they are for the rest of your life.
Even though they have never done anything since.
Yeah.
That's super weird.
It's not like Henry Winkler, who keeps reinventing himself
and being on these new cool shows
every 10 years or whatever, you know?
True that. And he is a wonderful man.
Yeah.
He's very kind.
Yes.
He was on Comedy Bang Bang and did a great job.
He was pushing a thing of books.
I can't remember why, but he was really funny in it
and really great to work with him and just a lifetime dream
to work with the Fonz.
Same as when I did these improv shows with Robin Williams.
Same kind of thing of like, you know, I just told them both like how growing up,
how much they meant to me.
And from Mork and Mindy and Happy Days.
And so it was really great to work with him for that,
you know, four hours on Bang Bang.
And then I happened to see him.
Crying?
Five months, I happened to see him crying.
I was like, hey, no, five months later or so, he officiated a wedding I went to.
And I caught up with him after the wedding and I said, hey, Mr. Winkler, I know you probably
don't remember me, but...
Hey, Mr. Winkler, I know you probably don't remember me.
I want to dance with my baby.
And he says to me, he says to me,
Scott, Comedy Bang Bang,
it premieres on May 13th,
and I'm so excited.
That's so nice.
And I was like, whoa.
What a nice person.
That's really cute.
Oh my God.
It was so nice. I was like, oh, Mr. Winkler, Nice person. Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho One of the nicest guys. One of the nicest guys, absolutely. Lauren, had you met him? Yes.
You were married to him.
I met him.
I got divorced and I was so sad.
Yeah, it was my starter marriage.
I met him, I think I met him at UCB,
but he knew me from something maybe he had just seen,
I can't remember which thing it was,
and he was really nice and he was,
he was just like, he went out of his way
to give me a compliment, which was very nice
because people that you admire doing that is like so memorable.
Yeah. And he does not have to do that at all.
And that's why I met him very briefly and I think I auditioned.
I auditioned for something his son was creating.
His son is the next generation.
Yeah. I was to play the female Fonz.
It was going to be turned on its head just a little bit.
And you were going to be upside down the entire time.
Yeah.
You were going to be Femonsy.
Yeah, Momsy.
Feminazi.
Sorry.
Feminazi.
Yeah, that's a terrible term that people use to anyone who's a feminist.
Have you never heard that before?
Oh, oh, no, I have.
These Feminazis.
You know what's so weird?
I of course I've heard that, but I then thought immediately of Austin Powers.
For the following you.
Fembots, but I don't know why.
But did you know that the line between the Fembot and Feminazi is very thin.
As the poet say, but do you know that Fembots were originally
a thing that were on the six million dollar man?
I assumed that kind of thing. Yeah
It would probably be the seven million dollar man now
You know, I saw that movie when I was a kid though
I don't think I probably got 90% of the actual jokes
like I only you know, I got the jokes where it was like he's backing up the
He's gonna run him over with this fruit is his day.
This fruit is his dick.
That kind of thing.
The smoking down the stairs behind the couch, that kind of thing.
I don't think that FEM bots were necessarily a reference to the six million
dollar man because the FEM bots in Austin powers were a very specific thing.
And in six million and six million and they didn't make any other reference
to the six million dollar man, which why would they?
It was not part of that genre that they were spoofing.
It wasn't spoofing six million dollar man.
No, they just stole that name.
Either stole the name or came up with it independently.
Cause they weren't dressed like the robots in six.
Oh, parallel thinking, huh?
Yeah, here we go.
It's not parallel when it's, you know,
the seventies versus the nineties. This is what, you know, the 70s versus the 90s.
This is what I'm saying.
The 70s versus the 90s.
He was a time traveler, though.
So technically he came up with it first.
No, because he was frozen before the six million dollar man premiered.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
So he didn't come up with it first.
OK, you can just remember that part of it. Okay. All right, nevermind.
You can just make-
I don't remember that part of it.
You don't remember him being frozen?
Not really.
It was probably a scary movie for you
when you were a kid, right?
Yeah.
I'm still scared.
The idea of him being frozen.
You gotta be cold.
You gotta be cold.
You gotta be red.
You gotta be- You gotta be frozen.
You gotta be frozen. All right be frozen. You gotta be frozen.
All right, we need to take a break.
We'll be right back.
Bye.
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[♪THEME MUSIC PLAYING
And we're back. And it's time for a threacher.
This is called, May I Take Your Order.
Boy, this is just already for someone who has listened
to Restaurant Roundup, like the two of you.
This is just prime material.
I do consider myself a listener of Freedom Above All Else.
I like Restaurant Roundup, I don't like the other stuff.
I don't like Freedom, I like Restaurant Roundup.
This is submitted by-
Restaurant Roundup should be its own podcast,
and every week Scott should list all the Russell Dewar dot
This is submitted by Brad
Paisley oh
That's Paisley the comedian the accidental racist oh
That's it. What was that song you did with it was called?
No with LL Cool J. Now you're accidentally racist.
No, Nelly did a country song with someone.
Really?
Yeah.
Nelly is one of the first people to do like a country team up.
Anyway, I can't remember what it was.
Maybe at some point Josh may put it in the chat, but who knows?
Okay, so here's what Lauren declined.
The only ways in about who Gwyneth Paltrow updated.
Yeah, I declined to comment on that.
Lauren declined to research that one.
I didn't research that, nor did I comment.
I let that one-
We're doing this over Zoom,
and sometimes Lauren, you can tell
when she's in research mode.
Or she's not.
And right now I'm just staring.
This was submitted by Brad Obrecht.
Two customers attempt to befuddle their server
with an increasingly elaborate meal order.
So basically two people are eating at a restaurant,
one person's the server.
After the introductions, we begin,
the people eating begin with a straightforward
restaurant order, which the server has to repeat back
flawlessly, then we jump in to change the order
and make it even more complicated.
The server has to repeat it back flawlessly and it continues on until the server does not repeat it back flawlessly enough.
The end.
Scott, I'm sorry to break in here.
I'm just being told that Nellie teamed up with Florida Georgia Line on Cruz parentheses, remix, and parentheses.
Wow. Also, he had that country grammar.
Okay. He did. Okay. So agreed. Agreed. So do you want to start with taking the order Scott since you have
so much restaurant experience? So yeah, show us how it's done. Let me show off for you guys. Okay. All right, here we go.
You talk about.
Oh, sorry.
Sorry, what?
No time.
Okay.
Can we talk about this when we get home?
I want to talk about it here.
Hey guys.
Hi.
Hi.
Welcome.
Have you dined here before?
No.
No, it's our first time.
I know I haven't.
I've never been here before.
I also have never been here and I never would come here
I never would come here either, but they were open and they had a reservation available. All right. Well, this is a building
Essentially made up of you can fast forward. Oh, okay. Yeah, so it's tapas
Okay, great. No, what is that? Oh god, If I have to explain tapas one more time. Small
plates my dear boy. I think you got through it pretty quickly. Okay so. Hold on a second
honey. Small size food but on small plates. Yeah. Honey I can't do this in front of this
man. You saw the sign the drippiest restaurant in the world. Sorry waiter. Excuse me. I'm
bitching at my husband. My name is Joel.
Joel I'm sorry I'm trying to bitch at my husband. Hey Joel could you give us a second? You want
space? Yeah but I want you to stand here but just give us a second. All right. Don't sing please.
We are the singing waiters though. You know what we're gonna be singing. Who's we? You got a mouse
in your pocket? What? Joel we can fight later. The mouse is in my chest.
Joel, we're ready to take,
you're ready for you to take our order.
We actually can just grab-
We're ready for you to be ready for us.
Okay, hit me. We can kinda spit ball it.
Hit me. Okay, so I'm gonna have-
I can just remember it, I don't need to write it down.
So go ahead. Oh, great.
Okay.
I can have some, I can have,
I'm gonna have some of the truffle fries
and I'm gonna have them put on top of a pizza.
The pizza's gonna have olives on it, but be medium size. And I want the truffle fries and I'm gonna have them put on top of a pizza. The pizza is going to have olives on it, but be medium size.
And I want the truffle fries to be cut in a crisscross pattern and laid across
the pizza on top.
You know, it's supposed to start as pretty simple, right?
This is the simple restaurant to start.
You saw the sign.
I'll scratch that then.
I'll start with the bruschetta.
You just want bruschetta? OK, I can do that. I'll start with the bruschetta. Okay, what do you want? You just want bruschetta?
Okay, I can do that.
You sir?
And I will have the bruschetta.
Uh.
To start.
Okay.
Are you talking about the, what she just ordered?
The exact same thing?
I don't know what she said, but I said bruschetta, which is the correct way to pronounce it.
Two orders of bruschetta.
No, excuse me.
I ordered bruschetta.
I ordered bruschetta.
It's one order of bruschetta and one order of bruschetta. One order of bruschetta. It's one order of bruschetta, one order of bruschetta.
Okay, one order of bruschetta, one order of bruschetta.
I can do that. Alright, great.
We're going to share the taco pizza.
Oh, okay.
And we're going to do it upside down.
I want the flippity flop option.
Okay, sure.
And can I have mine half flippity flop?
Okay, do you mean half of the pizza to be flippity flop?
Okay, sure. And can I have mine half flippity flop?
Okay, do you mean half of the pizza to be flippity flopped?
Because you're sharing this thing.
Yes, we're getting...
That means it belongs to both of you.
We're getting a taco pizza upside down style.
She's getting the flippity flop.
I want mine half flippity flop.
We don't really like the same things usually.
Okay, or each other.
I'll cut it in half and then your half can be flippity flop.
Is that what you want?
I just look.
He wants his half to be half flippity flop.
Yes.
Okay. All right.
So it's basically you want one order of the bruschetta,
one order of the bruschetta,
then the taco pizza to share with one half of it
half flippity flopped.
Is that right?
And the other half upside down.
And also flippity flop. I want it flippity flopped, is that right? And the other half upside down. And also flippity flopped.
I want it flippity flopped style.
Basically three quarters are flippity flopped.
See, you want a quarter of it flippity flopped,
but the other quarter of it not flippity flopped?
Three quarters flippity flopped, one quarter regular.
But is it your first day?
Is it your first day being a human being?
No.
Because you suck at it.
Yeah, she hasn't started yet.
I'm 79.
And I'm 81.
I bet you thought we were younger.
Why would you think I would think you were younger?
I know.
Joel, I want a Coke Zero.
Okay, Coke Zero for the lady.
Joel, I would like a glass of the scotch of Diavoli.
What did you say the scotch? Scotch of Diavoli? Scotchia Diavoli. What'd you say the Scotchia?
Scotchia Diavoli.
Scotchia Diavoli, I don't know.
This wine here, Scotchia Diavoli.
Oh, the Scotchia Diavoli, okay.
So we have one order of bruschetta,
one order of bruschetta,
a taco pizza, three quarters of which
has been flibby flopped.
And we want one Coke Zero and a Scotchia Diavoli.
Scotchiadivoli.
Scotch-o-de-o-voli. De-o-voli, de-o-voli.
I want a napkin that has a zebra drawn on it.
Drawn on it by the chef or by a great artist?
It can't be one and the same.
We have three chefs that are great artists,
but yes, three of our other chefs are poor artists.
So I just, I, you know,
I'd like it to be done by a chef that is a great artist. Okay, great. but yes, three of our other chefs are poor artists. So I just, I, you know, we need to know.
I'd like it to be done by a chef that is a great artist.
Okay, great.
We'll do it.
Can I also get that wine poured into an ice cube tray?
I don't want it frozen before you ask me,
but just pour it into an ice cube tray, half.
Is the ice cube still in it?
No.
Pour it in the ice cube tray
and just two half in each individual compartment and should
be a six cube tray.
A six cube tray, but you only want them poured into half of each of the cubes.
I want them half full.
Each of these.
So the equivalent of three full cubes.
I mean if that's how you remember it, then great.
That's how I like to remember it.
Yeah.
Okay.
So one order of bruschetta, one order of bruschetta, taco pizza,
three quarters of which has been-
Wait a second, I always wanna have a,
I want a sundae for dessert,
with two bananas in the split.
Wala, wala, wala.
Okay, great.
Anything for dessert for you?
We can order it now.
Yes, I want a flan with cinnamon straws,
and cinnamon spoons, and a cinnamon knife.
Okay, so one order of bruschetta, one order of bruschetta,
one order of bruschetta,
taco pizza, three quarters of which
have been flippity flopped.
Then we want a Coke Zero,
we want a glass of the scaccio di Aveli.
You want that poured into a six ice cube tray,
half full on each of the cubes.
We want a sundae with two bananas that have been split.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And we also want a flae with two bananas that have been split. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And we also want a flan with a cinnamon spoon,
cinnamon fork, and cinnamon knife.
I would also like with dessert a sanca
with a jolt cola poured in for a kick.
Okay, great.
Anything after an aperitif for you?
Darling, do you want any after tea for anything like that?
I would like a Scotch on the Rocks large.
Large?
How large?
The size of a large soft drink.
Okay, so 12 ounces or 16?
Or are we talking big cold size?
64 ounces?
16 ounces of Scotch on the Rocks.
Okay.
That actually sounds good to me.
So cancel my.
The Senka?
The Senka.
With the Jolt Cola?
With the Jolt Cola and I will have a venti scotch
on the rocks.
Okay.
How many ounces do you want that?
Venti, it's venti.
Venti, oh okay, which means 20, right?
Yes. Oh my God.
Venti equals 20.
It does, that's why they call it that I believe.
Yeah, I know.
Yeah, I know, I'm saying, oh my god.
I'm smiling fondly.
Oh, is that?
You're like a father figure to me.
I had no idea.
Exactly, I think you're adorable.
Okay, so one order of bruschetta, one order of bruschetta, a taco pizza, three quarters
of which have been flippity flopped, then, oh, then you want a, oh yeah, yeah, you want
the, oh shit, you want the bottle, or you want the glass, yeah. Yeah, you want the oh shit
You want the bottle or you want the class of?
Don skewani
You want to pour it into the
Pour it into the six ice cube tray half full and you want god damn it. What do you want to drink you want?
You very common a Coke Zero, is that right?
And then for dessert, you want the sundae with the two bananas that have been split,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And you want the flan with the cinnamon spoon, fork and knife.
And you want a-
Cinnamon straw, excuse me.
Cinnamon straw, fork and knife.
Fork and spoon.
And spoon, fork and spoon, no knife.
And then ma'am, you want 16 ounces of Scotch on the rocks. And sir, you want theam you want 16 ounces of scotch on the rocks and sir you want the venti
20 ounces of scotch on the rocks anything else I changed my mind
I want to go back to my original after-dinner drink order. Okay, so you want the
it was the it was the
Senko with the jolt cola poured into it. No, I'm gonna go back
20 ounces yes of scotch on the rocks. No, I'm gonna go back. Back to the venti 20 ounces?
Yes. Of Scotch on the Rocks.
Yes. Great. All right.
And I don't want anything except for the bruschetta.
Oh, OK. That makes it easier.
So one order of bruschetta.
Can we just get the check?
You haven't ordered any.
You haven't. Perfect. It's zero dollars.
You don't want to make money?
I there's no money.
Are you going to tip me at least?
Well, not with that.
I'll tip you over and pour you out.
You fat little teapot.
Hey.
You're short and stout.
All right. Get the fuck out.
Bye.
That's our restaurant name, by the way.
Okay.
Should we get the fuck in?
That was good, Scott. Good work.
It was good.
Lauren, would you like to be the waiter? Yes, I would. That was good, Scott. Good work. It was good. I did all the best.
Lauren, would you like to be the waiter?
Yes, I would.
Okay.
I think we're going to have a very successful business meeting.
I really do believe that our business will be complete by the end of this meal.
Here, two business.
Hello, welcome to the restaurant.
Two business.
No, you've caught us in a business toast. How do you do?
We were just miming a business toast as we have no drinks.
I'm so sorry about that.
I would love to get you a drink.
Sometimes with important things I have to practice doing them before I do them.
Of course.
What is the drink you want?
Can we just order everything?
Although our entire nine course meal?
Okay.
Are you from where we're from? Are you from where we're from?
Are you from where we're from?
I was raised in a ditch outside this restaurant.
That's where we're from!
Yes!
Wow!
Wait a minute, are you our sister?
No, probably not.
A lot of people think I'm a Mexican trash dog.
Alright, here we go. Probably not. A lot of people think I'm a Mexican trash dog.
All right, here we go. I would like a Drambuey Neat.
Drambuey Neat.
Yes.
And I would like half an order of cornbread.
Drambuey Neat, half an order of cornbread.
And I would like the fried chicken, uh,
with all of the skin taken off.
Okay. Join very neat. Half of the cornbread,
fed chicken, skin taken off.
I'd like the damn, you made me think I'd like a sweaty nail for a drink.
I'd like, I'd like to get as an appetizer,
I'd like to get as an appetizer, I'd like to get the crocodile.
And I think for an entree, I'll have what is this say here, the coconut explosione.
And can I get that with extra milk?
So I have here a cranberry neat, half orderbread, um, fudge chicken with a skin dish.
Yo, you got it.
I swear to now.
Um, hold on.
I couldn't get there.
We believe in you if that makes any difference.
I believe in any ditch person I believe in.
Uh, hold on.
I can't actually remember.
If you came from the ditch, you'll make something of yourself.
I can't remember the last two things you said.
Well, there was the...
Well, I had an appetizer. Do you remember what the appetizer was?
No.
The crocodile, of course.
The crocodile, of course.
And then, of course...
And then, my entree...
is a special item that you serve here.
It's a special item. The explosion here. It's a special item.
The explosione, my dear.
The coconut explosione with...
Cheese.
Extra...
No.
No.
It just happened.
Extra milk.
Now, to be fair, these were not the most simple orders to start you off with.
Okay, dry baronete.
But they are on your menu.
And you're a ditch person.
Durian, let me try again.
Durian Berry Meat.
Half-watt of Cranberry, chicken with the skin off, sweaty nail, a crocodile, and a crocodile
esposione with extra milk.
Yes, you got it, dear.
Except...
Yeah.
Did you want to change?
Yeah, I had flu-sha-h Yeah, I wanted to change a little something.
That's perfectly okay.
I haven't put the order in yet.
I want the Drambuie on the rocks, if that's okay.
Yes.
I want one and a half orders of cornbread.
The fried chicken is good, but then what I would prefer
is if I could get the pasta fagioli soup
without any meat and without any oil, if that's okay.
So you want a drenberry on the rocks.
It's not neat, my dear, I want it on the rocks.
I didn't say neat.
I said drenberry. You did.
You clearly did.
So you want your dren...
No, I said, so you want your drenberry on the rocks.
No. I swear to God. You're dren- No, I said, so you want your drenberry on the rocks. No.
But anyway, go ahead.
I swear to God!
You're a liar!
We're gonna rewind the tape.
You're not a gutter person, are you?
Drenberry on the rocks?
One and a half orders of corn blood.
Then you want to check out the skin taken off,
and then you want pasta, fujo, with no meat,
and something else.
Yes, something else taken out.
And no noodles.
I'm very allergic to oil.
Oil, yes.
And then we have.
Black gold, Texas tea.
Were you going to change your order, sir?
Yeah, instead of the rusty nail,
can I get, instead of the sweaty nail, can I get a sleepy nail?
And I'd also like, instead of the crocodile, I'm going to have the eye of a tinnut, which
is, looks to be a tuna.
And
So you want a sleepy nail on the eye of the tenute?
Yes. Can I also have his chicken skin?
And, uh, with the coconut explosioni,
could you make sure with the extra milk that it is, uh,
one and... one and point five percent of coconut milk?
Yes.
Would you repeat everything back to us, honey?
You're going to have a Drendori on the rocks.
You're going to have one and a half orders of corn blood.
You want to have the chicken with the skin taken off, put this aside because I'm
going to get to that later.
Then you're going to have pasta for Jules with no oil and no meat.
And then you're going to have a sleepy nail.
You're going to have the eye of tenute
and you're going to have the coconut exposure on a with one and a half extra teaspoons of
milk.
And that's close. Very close. One point five percent milk. And also I think you forgot
something that you specifically said I don't know.
Yeah.
And a little bit of chicken skin just for you.
Oh we're very forgiveful of.
Oh dessert.
Oh dessert.
I forgot about dessert.
We actually don't have that here.
Oh I'm going to need you to go across the street to the dessert store to get me something.
You don't know what we consider dessert.
You only just met us.
Okay. Would you like something savory?
Yes. I'd like a sleeve of Ritz crackers and I'd like them coated with olive oil.
Make sure my friend doesn't get any because he's very allergic to oil.
And the olive oil should be extra, extra virgin.
And it should have a picture of a lady on the bottle.
Yes, and I want a pie, a pot pie,
turned upside down with every other carrot taken out.
What happened to your voice?
Yes, what happened?
Are you all right?
I cleared my throat and I'm able to talk like this now.
You lost your ditch accent.
I'm not from the ditch.
What? You lied.
I know I'm a liar.
Like she is.
Her business venture.
This is so upsetting.
I quit. I quit.
No, before you quit, tell us what we ordered.
Sleep of Ritz with olive oil.
Just a little. No, the whole thing.
Oh, God.
That's the game.
That's the game, dear.
I can't tell you on the rocks.
When the apple is a cornbread,
chicken with no skin on it, fried chicken with no skin,
pasta, no oil, no meat, no oil.
Then you're going to have a sleepy now.
You're going to have a
I have to newt.
You're going to have chicken skin from his.
And you're gonna have coconut explosion with 1.5% milk.
And you're going to have a sleeve of red crackers dipped in olive oil.
1.5% olive oil.
And you're going to have a pot pie flipped over.
What?
What about my carrots? I can't eat that many carrots.
You must take every other carrot out.
I got a girl.
Everybody wins.
Everyone. Oh, my God, that's exhausting.
I'm ready. You want to be the waiter?
I'm ready. I'll be the waiter.
That is the biggest problem. Yeah, that's exhausting on the brain. All right, well, do you want to be the waiter? I'm ready, I'll be the waiter. Talking like that is the biggest problem.
Yeah, that was hard.
Okay.
Hey.
Oh, hi.
Me?
No, I was saying hi to my girlfriend.
Do you need a moment? Should I come back?
I don't, I mean, I don't know. Honey, what do you want?
Do we need a moment?
No, we don't. We're fine.
Is everything okay?
Okay. I just have something to tell you tonight. What do you need? Do we need a moment? No, we don't. We're fine. Is everything okay?
I just have something to tell you tonight.
I was talking to the waiter.
Is everything okay?
I'm okay. I'm worried about you all.
Wait, you have something to tell me?
We'll just wait till he takes our order.
You're worried about your Mee-Maw? Is that what you said?
I'm saying we'll wait till he takes our order.
Are you listening to me?
And then you're going to tell me?
Yes.
If he gets our order correct, will you tell me
what's been on your mind?
Obviously something's been on your mind for the past week.
And I'm, I don't know whether to be excited or concerned or concerned.
Is the answer.
Really?
Be concerned. Be very concerned.
Remember the fly?
Hey, dude, stay out of this.
I'm sorry. I apologize.
This is between my girlfriend, who I guess is going to break up with me or something. Am I like in the right area? No, no, no. It's worse than that. I'm sorry, I apologize. This is between my girlfriend who I guess is gonna break up with me or something.
Am I like in the right area?
No, no, no, it's worse than that.
Let's just keep going.
It's worse than that.
Oh dear. Okay, I'm ready to order.
Okay. All right, well.
What can I get you?
Welcome to Slappy's.
I'm gonna have the Slappy Happy.
I want the Slappy Happy,
but I want it to have no cheese.
I want dip and sauce on the side.
Okay, and you sir?
I'd like the eighth of the pound Slappy Jr.
Uh, with extra pickles and fried onions on the side
and ketchup and mustard mixed up into one thing.
I don't know what you would call it, like Ketchchurd.
The ramekin.
Oh, I don't mean the container,
but I'll take it in a plastic container if that's,
I'll take that to go.
Okay.
But everything else will be here.
So a Slappy Happy, no cheese with ketchup on the side.
Dipping sauce on the side.
Dipping sauce on the side, Dipping sauce on the side.
Forgive me.
Forgive me.
Sorry, my ditch accent.
No, I consider.
Are you from the ditch?
I try to forget about it, but yeah.
My grandparents are from the ditch.
She's tried to lose it because she thinks she's better than the ditch.
It comes out whenever I say dipping sauce.
So Slappy Happy with no cheese, dipping sauce on the side.
And you sir wanted the slappy happy with no cheese dipping sauce on the side and you sir wanted the slappy
The eighth of the pound slappy jr. It is about slappy jr. And you wanted onion rings and
No fried onions on the side fried onions on the side and you want to do a ketchup and mustard mixed together to go
To go here and extra pickles and extra pickles, I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
If you forget those pickles, boy, that will be terrible.
Can I get the fries dipped in chocolate
and can I have the milkshake that has the Oreo
on the bottom and the peanut butter on top?
Okay, and you, sir, dessert?
Can I get the boots with the-
That's not my dessert.
Oh, I'm sorry.
It is a dessert as well, so I thought,
but it is a drink, I see. It's a drink, yeah. Could I get the boots with the... That's not my dessert. Oh, I'm sorry. It is a dessert as well, so I thought, but it is a drink, I see.
It's a drink, yeah.
Could I get the boots with the fur shake?
The one that looks like the boots with the fur.
What is in that?
Oh, everything.
It's a suicide.
Everything in the restaurant?
Everything in the restaurant.
Chairs, I mean the whole deal.
I guess I could not order the other stuff I ordered
that I'll just have the boots with the fur shake
because that has everything in it.
Okay, so Boots with the First Shake for you.
And you wanted to have the Slappy Happy
no cheese dipping sauce on the side.
You wanted the fries dipped in chocolate
and you wanted the shake that has the Oreo on the bottom
and the peanut butter on top.
Yeah, and I wanted to get,
I don't know if you guys still have it from the secret menu,
but it's the elephant burger,
where it has sort of like those elephant knees
as the top and bottom, and the meat is the elephant's face.
And it's all real.
And it was killed by Donald Trump Jr.?
Oh, you're ordering for her? What a charming old-fashioned gesture.
Not for long.
I'm just pointing, it's the same... She's looking charming old-fashioned gesture. Not for long.
I'm just pointing at you.
It's the same.
She's looking at the menu.
It's the same thing.
All right.
And you, sir?
Could you add the optional car wash onto my meal and have that done?
Yeah, I'd like the detail.
So detailed with the vacuum.
I'll definitely do the...
And two coats of wax.
And can I get the Rachel haircut?
And I'm also gonna get a pair of prescription glasses
that are like Mr. Magoo.
Yeah.
And also I think that I need probably 20 milligrams
of vitamin D in caplet.
Let's see if he's followed any of this honestly,
cause he's not writing any of this down.
Can you repeat that back to us please? Yes, I'd be happy to.
So, so far we have Slappy Happy with no cheese,
dipping sauce on the side.
We have one suicide.
Sure, but that's called the...
Yes, you know it.
The shake called the...
Boots with the Fur.
The shake called the Boots with the Fur. The shake called the Boots with the Fur.
What about his burger?
No, he canceled the burger.
Oh, I know.
I canceled the burger.
Because the Boots with the Fur has everything.
Is this what you're going to tell me?
Why you never listen to me?
Please don't interrupt.
And then you will have the fries dipped in chocolate, the milkshake that's the Oreo
on the bottom and the peanut butter on top.
You want your car washed, detailed with the vacuuming, two coats of wax. You want the
Rachel haircut and the secret elephant burger that's made of the burgers,
the maid of the elephant's knees and its face and its trunk. Is that correct?
And killed by.
Yeah.
And killed by Donald Trump Jr. Yes.
Right. Yes.
I forgot about your chivalry, sir.
And then also my medication.
I need the-
Oh yes, you need 50 milligrams of-
20 milligrams of vitamin D.
50 milligrams of 20 milligrams of vitamin D.
20.
Very good.
Anything else?
Can you scrap the vitamin D?
Actually, now that I think about it, I have plenty of that. I had a lot of that beforehand.
And just-
So you just want the 20 milligrams then?
Yeah, could I get the, I realized I don't have a car
to get the car wash.
So could you-
Yeah, we took the bus here.
I was wondering what you were talking about.
Yeah, could you order me like a new Prius?
Okay.
Probably 2011 year. So not a new Prius? Okay. Probably 2011 year.
So not a new one.
Not a new one, no, just a used Prius.
Can you make sure that it has the sticker
that gets you into the carpool lanes?
Yes.
And then wash that with the same,
you know, the same thing that I said earlier.
Yes, okay.
And anything else for you, ma'am?
I want to have you deliver bad news to him.
Oh, so let's see if I have everything here. You would like a slappy happy, no cheese,
dipping sauce on the side. You will have the boots with the first shake, which is everything suicide. You also would like, uh, uh, uh,
you want the, did I say the milkshake with the Oreo on the bottom and the peanut butter
on the top? Well, you want that. Uh, and then you would like the car wash French fries for
cotton, French fries. I can't believe it. No, I mentioned the French fries dipped in
the chocolate. Okay.
Okay.
And then you will have the car wash with the detailing and that will be a 2011, well, sir,
that will be a 2011 Prius with the sticker that gets you into the carpool lane.
You would like-
How many coats of wax though?
Two coats of wax, of course.
Okay.
And the vacuuming.
I believe I mentioned the vacuuming.
And I've been doing this a long time, sir.
Don't worry.
You're so interesting.
Don't worry.
I'll take care of you.
I'm 7,800 years old.
Wow.
Yes.
Wow.
Yes, I'm a...
The oldest profession.
That's right.
That's right.
Now that I'm this old.
Yes.
And then let's see. You wanted the, uh,
Rachel haircut with the secret elephant burger from the secret menu.
That elephant burger of course is made of the elephant's knees,
face and trunk and it is killed by Donald Trump Jr. Um,
and you wanted just the 20 milligrams. You no longer want the filling.
50 milligrams of vitamin B. No milligrams. No didn't want any of that. No milligrams.
No milligrams of nothing, yeah.
But I think she wants you to do something.
And you wanted me to deliver some bad news.
And would you like me to do that now or later?
Right now is good.
You can tell him that I hired you to kill him.
I'm so sorry to inform you, sir, but I've been hired to kill you by her.
Not like this!
Not like this!
NC. I thought you would make it. Oh, not like this! Not like this! End scene.
I thought you would make it.
Silent gun.
Yeah, silent but deadly.
He actually just reached over and choked him.
Yeah, I choked him.
Oh, I didn't know you choked me.
Oh, Darth Vader.
Oh, Darth Vader!
Oh, Darth Vader!
Oh, Darth Vader!
Oh, Darth Vader, bam-a-lam! Oh, Darth Vader, bam-a-lam! Darth Vader had a shot Vader, oh Darth Vader, oh Darth Vader, oh Darth Vader, BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM Under the covers. Yep. You too, Lauren, under the covers?
I might do that, I might do that.
Or I might just stare, you know?
Maybe I'll do a second nap.
Live it up.
Maybe something's wrong with me.
We'll find out next week on the next episode of Freedom.
Yeah, see you next time.
Remember to get those Freedom gibbets
and put them on your Crocs,
which I guess Crocs is not interested
in sponsoring us for some. Well, we don't know yet. Get at us, Crocs. We don't know yet. Love on your Crocs, which I guess Crocs is not interested in sponsoring us for some
Well we don't know yet. Get at us Crocs. We don't know yet. Love you Crocs. But thank you all for
listening. Rate and subscribe and toxic relationships all have in common?
They take your money and you can't get it back.
Sixteen grand somewhere in there. Gone.
There's no legal solution for the fact
that you married an asshole.
Welcome to The Dough. I'm ex-Mayo.
We're diving into the stories surrounding the moola baby.
The good, the bad, and the unexpected.
Yeah, we talking about it all.
The Dough is out now wherever you get your podcasts.
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Hi, I'm June Diane Raphael. And I'm Jessica St. Clair.
And we would like to invite you on a hilarious
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