Threedom - Threevisiting: Boom Boom Acka Lacka Boom Boom

Episode Date: July 14, 2026

Threevisiting on the Tues: Paul, Lauren, and Scott discuss walking the dinosaur, unexpected apologies, and kitchen catchphrases before playing Realty Bites. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Unlock every episode of THREEDOM and THREEMIUM, ad-free, on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/shop Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lemonado. Scott, I told you to clear out these Christmas candies. Scott, we have asked you a million times. Southern comfort jars. I'm supposed to chomp into this and get alcohol? Is there actual Southern comfort in these? Why did you say jars? Because it's like a bottle.

It's like a bottle. Yeah, so I said jars. Oh my God, I drank half a jar of wine last night. I'm a hick. I'm a hick. Okay, it's chocolate. You have to bite this. No.

You have to bite this. I don't and I won't. It's 10 a.m. You have to bite this. I pre-knowed that those are disgusting. Why did you unwrap it first? Because who wants this? No one.

You've lost your mind. It's 10 in the morning. I'm saying nobody wants it. You don't have to unwrap everything that's in front of you. Yes, I do. All right, whatever. I'm just curious. Good defense.

Curious little George. All right, whatever. Do you want me to bite into it, really? Yeah. And you want me to report back? as to what's inside. I would like you to keep talking. Can we talk about Curious George and have a frank discussion?

I have a lot to say about that fucking guy. First of all, let's introduce ourselves. My name's Scott. My name is also Scott. And I'm also Lauren. Okay, then I'm Paul. Okay, Curious George, actually, because I've been reading some of his texts. Sure.

His text? He texts? What's he texting you? The sacred text. His sacred text? What's going on in there? Does it taste like alcohol? Well, I just...

What's going on in there? Did your mouth? I bit the neck off the jar, rather. Did the juice come out? No juice yet. Hold on. Oh, my banana! You got to drink the juice.

You got to drink the juice, Shelby. I still haven't seen it. I actually did see it. Drink your juice, Shelby. Steal mannone. Yeah, which I always makes up with fried green tomatoes, and I haven't seen Fred Green Tomatoes. Oh, you should do Scott as?

Oh, no, we already did it. I only do one movie on your show, and it's once a year. You've never asked me to do Scott hasn't seen it. He's drinking alcohol out of chocolate right now. This guy's a maniac. He's out of his mind. Scott, why are you doing that? He doesn't care what time is.

It doesn't have the bite of it. So I think it's just flavored. That's nasty and horrid. Well, you wanted me to do it. Well, I'm glad you did. I just think, why do these exist? Who wants the flavor of alcohol without the fun? Drunks.

Wait, drunks just want the flavor? Well, they want the fun. Drunks in the former. Drunks in the former? No, I'm sure there are many sober people who enjoy the flavor of alcohol. Anyways, curious George. I, one thing I really dislike about the books, and I'm, and I'm, he's too curious. He's just always getting into everything.

Also, I thought he was by curious. He might be. I was like, the one thing he's not curious about. George is very heteronormative. He's obsessed with being straight. He's like, there are two genders. He's, on the last page of every curious George book, he goes, and as always, when is the straight pride parade? Is that the title of this week's episode?

No, no. Absolutely. It's not. No. And just for the record, I now pick the titles. Yes. Oh, my God. That's right.

I have so much power. A new regime. The George books start in a way that bothers me. It will just say, here's George's friend. This is George's friend, the man with the yellow hat. They're like, who's George? Like, they jump in in a way that they don't set up. George was a curious monkey.

He lived with his best friend, the man with the yellow hat. I'm like, they'll just be like, the man with the yellow hat said, hey, George. I'm like, who are we? Where are we? What's going on? Here's what I say. I think this is dynamic storytelling. You do.

Because you are saying, who's George? Yeah. And you're curious. Oh, my God. Oh, that's what the curious in the title were fucking got me. They got me. So we just understood now finally. So now I relate to George.

Because I'm curious. You're like, what the fuck is going on with this book? Yes. I'm like, who's the man with the yellow hat? And what's his sexuality? I do wonder. Do you? You never see him with a partner?

He seems gay. You know, he's at work. He's at work. They lived together. I just read a whole thing where they had a Valentine's party at their house, all the neighborhood kids. For some reason I thought the man with the yellow hat was a zookeeper. No, he's an explorer, isn't he? He found George and he took him back to America.

Oh, shit. Which is wrong. Why do I remember this? I don't know. It's been 50 years since ever. You're not reading any secret texts. There's one text where George helps the woman bake a cake. The woman.

Who's the woman? I don't fucking know, but there was sexual tension with the man in the LHat and the woman. Really? where I was like, they're going to fuck after they. They're getting down. Because she lost her. Like, George felt uncomfortable, left the room. George makes a crazy mess. George saw some things he shouldn't have seen.

And the woman's necklace gets baked into the cake. Of course, George is eating the cake when he shouldn't, but he finds the necklace. So it's kind of like he would win. And then the man with the old hat has a bunch of cake. He also has a bunch of cake? He eats a bunch of cake and maybe something else. How much is a bunch? Like a jarful?

They eat like a mason jar of cake. That sounds delicious. That actually does sound great. If there's any company. out there sponsoring podcast that does Mason jars full of cake. Cake in a jar? A lot of people do that. Where you have to break the jar to get.

Sorry. God. You smash the jar. You get down on old forest. Smash the jar. You get down on old fours. You start biting until you... Everybody walked the dinosaur.

Oh my God. I used to love that song. Why? Smash the jar, get down on all four. Was it the subject matter about walking a dinosaur? I loved it because when I was five, I went to Disney World and we went to the parade and the dinosaurs from the show were in the parade singing and dancing to that show. From the show dinosaurs.

Yeah. What a great time that those two things happened at once. They were together. They were together. It wasn't on purpose. No, I think it was an accident. It was like a laboratory accident. I thought that was their song. No, they spilled the song onto a TV.

Oh, okay. And that's how the TV show happened. The brother was hot. Let's just all say it. The brother was hot. What the dinosaur brother? You have a history of liking. Reptiles.

This turtle, this teenage mutant ninja turtle. Michelangelo I was attracted to. Kermit I was attracted to. Hold on. But they all looked alike, right? So it was the voice and the personality that got you? I'm attracted to green. Then you should have loved all of them.

What about Oscar the Grouch? He's so rude and it's so hot. He's real alpha. And the green M&M is the horny one, so I guess it all makes sense. Remember how that was a thing? Yeah. I mean, not just recently. I feel like...

When we were children. Yeah, it was like... During our Eminem's taste test episode, we all got horny when we ate three months. Yeah. We did some off mic. Fucking. But with the Eminem's, like what's so good about it is that each color does something else to you. So it's like when you eat a bunch of them, you get a little horny, but then you get a little, like there's other things that happen.

Yeah. Feet the blue and you get depressed. Brown is smart. Brown is smart. There's the title. And they should never have gotten rid of tan. Let me. Yeah.

It was a nice option. It was. Because it's like I don't want a brown. I mean, I want a brown one, but I don't want the whole. Because that brown one was so dark. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, let's just lighten it up just a little.

Do you remember when there was the competition to choose the new color? You could call it. Do you remember? You would send in a paint chip. You could call and vote. Do you remember when pantone got so pissed? Yeah. Like, this is our domain.

Why do they pick a color every year? Who cares? They have nothing else to do. They're sitting around just waiting for it every year. Yeah. All they're doing is giving out little. cards with colors on them. They're like, look, the Sears color is jade. And it's like, we don't do anything with that information. How often do you paint your house? Every day. Yeah.

Same. Same. Every day. Every day. The entire exterior. I have a few things. Okay. First of all, I would love to paint the house a different color. But it seems like such a gigantic undertaking. It is, but you don't do it. I know, but it has to be. If you were, a real man you would do it. Yeah, that's true. If you'd get out there on your fucking ladder and just do it, you'd fucking do it. Yeah, you could do it and probably... I think that would make me start smoking again.

Yeah. If I had to paint my house. Honestly, if I saw you outside in like a white tank, I'm not going to call it by its old name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're wearing painter's pants. And you're wearing a painter's pants. No, I'm wearing a painter suit. You're wearing a painter's suit. No, oh, I love that. I love that. And then you have a cigarette. Dress shoes.

Your bar, your jar of alcohol is like strewn on the floor next to you of the ground. I don't have like a can of bud or something. Okay, well you do, you're holding a bud can, but you already drink whatever. By the way, you drank Colt 45. Invention idea. Cold 40. Jesus Christ. Invention idea just came to me. I thought that's what this was, but it's something else. 43. Just came to me. A thing you put around your beer can that can hold your cigarette. It's like a circular thing you put around your beer can and it has like a little container or a little slit for your cigarette. So that you can paint. Are you describing an

ashtray around a beer can? Not an ashtray necessarily, but it's something that will Because, you know how when you're painting and you're holding a beer? Yeah. If you have a cigarette, you got to hold it in your mouth the entire time. Well, yes. But that's kind of a skill. That's the classic thing. But what if you wanted to just put it in this little thing that's attached to your beer, then you could just go.

Okay. But so is it, it's horizontal alongside the beer? I don't know what direction it's in probably a 45 degree angle. Okay. When I smoked, I used to love just holding a cigarette in my mouth. It's cool. I thought it was. I thought it was.

Smoking is not cool. Smoking is not cool. It's not. But there was a period where it was. I look at it now and I think it's true. I can't. I'm, I came out so far on the other side that I look at it. It looks no matter who it is.

I think it's crazy. It looks dumb. Even if it's like a really hot person? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you really believe that. Especially.

Yeah, like Mary Kate or Ashley Olson. Oh my God. Mary Kate and or Ashley Olson. Or. Yeah. Not and or. And or. Yeah.

That's right. Is that weird? Okay, Andor, right? Right. But then they also have Endor? It's like, what are we doing, guys? Do you ever think like... When it's indoor coming?

This question might not work. Star Wars takes place mainly indoors. Have you ever noticed that? Boy, that's true. I've only noticed that. It was a big deal and they went outside for the first time. And they all, like, died because they couldn't breathe. Just going outside.

Not even into space. Just like, oh, we forgot there's no atmosphere on this planet. They are in space. We are two things in space. Did I just blow your mind? Whoa, I never thought of it like that. I have a couple jars of combat. Am I on like a little ball in the sky?

Can I talk about everybody walked a dinosaur and what it makes me think of every time? Yes, please. First of all, I have not heard that song, I think, since it was out. So who wrote that? Was not was. I thought it was done by cavemen and dinosaurs. I honestly like, I thought it was a... Performed by cavemen, actual cavemen and dinosaurs.

That's who I saw perform it. And I felt like it made sense. Oh, that's who you saw it. Wait, cavemen too? Yeah. I got like a boom, boom. I forgot about that part. Well, this is a remake by Queen Latifah.

Oh, thanks, Queen. From the Ice Age Dawn of the Dinosaurs. Oh, wow, we did it recently. Let it play a little bit. This is a remix of that song or a remake? A remake. Yes. Very different from a remix.

This is Queen Latifah. You think Queen Latifah is how to do it. They're just remixing songs. This is a remit. I don't know what she does when she's off of the equalizers. I said it was for a movie. I'm sorry. We want to hear the chorus.

Everybody wants to do the dinosaur. Get on the floor. Everybody wants to be a dinosaur. And out. So years ago when I was starting out in stand-up comedy, I did a show in, God, what was it? Ocean City, Maryland. You did a show in the butt. In the butt, pop?

This is a classic. Do you remember how we were convinced that was an urban legend? Right. I still am. Is it real? They showed the clip. They got receipts? I need to know what you're talking about.

Okay, the newlywed game. Uh-huh. Supposedly, and now Paul says it's real. Where's a crazy place to make whoopee? The craziest place you made whoopee. Strangest place you made whoopee. In the butt. The pup bob. Who said it? Who said it?

A woman said it. And she did not say Bob. She just said it in the butt. Wow. That's the best. That's honestly, that's like how every family feud answer is now. Family feud has gotten so filthy. It's literally like, it's one. It's like, families watch it. You can't kiss people anymore, but we're going to make it disgusting. There was one answer that was like, where's like, what's the man's fair part of woman? And it was like dairy pillows. I'm like, was that the episode we were on? I think so. I don't know if that was the question, but yeah, dairy pillows.

So I was doing the show. I was the emcee of the show, and the headliner was this dude. I won't say his name. Okay. But he was just like a hacky club dude. But his big closer was, I think this was his closer. He would get somebody up out of the audience to do some sort of dance to walk the dinosaur. And under what pretense, if you don't mind me asking?

I don't remember how he got into it. I'm imagining him saying, hey, I want someone from the crowd to come up and dance to walk the dinosaur. Yeah. I'm sure it started with like, hey, you know that song? Walked a dinosaur? And everyone was like, yes, we all know that song. We know it and love it.

The Queen Latifah remix. It's a current song that we're enjoying. And so he would always get like an attractive woman out of the audience to do this with How are there Why are attractive women going to stand-up shows? I don't know. They should be out there having sex. Oh, they are.

You think women should be having sex instead of thinking and laughing? Well, here's the thing. Here's the thing. One night, this was like a three-night gig, a weekend gig, and one night the woman that he got out of the crowd, he convinced to go back to the hotel with him. I don't think that's uncommon. No, it's not. So this is the whole reason he's doing it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And so if it happened one of the three nights when you were with him, that's usually his ratio. 33% of the time. I would think so, yeah. He'll find someone to come back to his hotel. And so, um, I remember he, we were supposed to be sharing a room. And then when he got this woman to come back with him, he said, we're going to go in this room. If my wife calls, tell her whatever. Have you told this story?

I don't know. I haven't heard it. I mean, ever in my life, yes. I haven't heard it. I want only exclusively new stories on this, meaning you've never told anyone in the world. I have a new story. Oh, that's tough. I heard people fucking when I was staying in San Francisco.

Whoa. Okay. Back to room were you. Paul was up there too. So I was annoyed like, oh, I have to like, this guy's just assuming. Like, yeah, go ahead and lie to my wife for me while I fuck. I've had somebody say somebody to me to not tell somebody something.

I would not pick up the phone if I was in that position. But as they were going to the other room, she like took off her top, like in the hallway. She was ready for it. She was ready for it. She's probably drunk out of her mind. I hope she was not. I hope she was sober and gave consent.

Me too. I hope so too. And then I was in the other room with one of the waitresses. Oh, this. story's getting a little bit hotter. I was wondering if you brought anyone back. Well, she wanted to hang out. Oh, sure she did. She just wanted to talk about this comedian from Philly that we both knew that she thought they had a thing and then she was discovering that they did not have a thing. Okay, it's a boring night for you. It sucked. Yeah. Yeah. Did you think something might be happening?

Of course. Well, I didn't, I was like, I was not. She wants to go back to your place at like 2 a.m. Yes, I was not reading this properly when it was like, nothing was going to happen. Like she was not, She really just wanted to gather intel on this other... On this other comedian. That you knew... But I was still... Kind of, yeah. Right.

I knew from around the scene. Right. But he was like one of those guys who was like not funny, but he was handsome. And so he would like bang all over the place. My ears are burning. Like you want to be that? And I wanted to... I'm neither.

I want to tell her. Yeah. I'm neither. How about me? But it was that kind of thing where when I look back at it now, of course, nothing was going to happen. But at that age, I was keeping hope alive. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah, definitely. Yeah. Those, those are we're all the time. Those are we're all the time. Those are we're all the time in that age. So is the image of her with her shirt off walking towards the bedroom door just imprinted in your mind? That is imprinted in my mind. Him on stage doing the dinosaur thing with a young woman and like laughing as she messes up and all that.

That's imprinted in my mind. What dance would he make them do? All I can remember, the only thing I can remember was a sort of mimed, like a... I think it's like what happens in the video. Yeah, right? I can't remember the video at all. Yeah. But making your hand into a dinosaur head and your forearm and your forearm is now the neck.

I feel like your hand is the jaw of the dinosaur, not the actual. But I don't know. Maybe this is the eyes. And then you think there's an invisible head around there? You're insane. So you're just in the bone structure within the skeletal system. Because you forgot the dinosaurs. Actually did have flesh.

You know, we don't know. We don't know that. They had feathers. A lot of times they had feathers. That's true. We think they had leathery skin, but they had feathers. No one goes the most direct. They were just skeletons who were alive.

Yes, exactly. Why are we hypothesizing? Why are we adding layers to them? No. They're proud skeletons. We fell in the bones. They were that. That's what they were.

When you see skeletons on Halloween, they're not former bodies. They are just. They were born that way. Did you imagine giving birth to a skill? I don't know that that's something we want to put in Lord's mind. But it goes, wha, we don't like this at all. But that all the zylophone noises? Oh, it's talented?

Yeah, the doctor's spares. It's talented. The doctor's space makes the xylophone noise. Okay, we have to take a break. When people hear that Mint Mobile plans are only 15 bucks a month, a lot of people wonder, hey, what's the catch, sweetheart? Well, I can tell you, there isn't one. there are no gimmicks, no gotchas, just unlimited talk, text, and data, fast, reliable coverage on the nation's largest 5G network and an award-winning care team to take care of you.

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Quince.com slash freedom. Okay, this is the original. We got the video on. Boom, boom, haka, boom. The entire band just sang boom, boom, shaka, boom. It's sort of embarrassedly. Like, I was forced to do this for this song. Like family photo style?

Yeah. Well, because it's a very like child song. But at the same time, I feel like a lot of things at this time were the style was just kind of extreme in this way. That feels like it's for kids, but it's not. My future is so bright, I have to wear shades. My future sobriety. I have to wear shades. My future sobriety.

Because I got my eye poked out during a drunk driving accident. Poked out? The cop came over and went, do you know what's what happened to Sammy Davis Jr.? Yes. Is that he was, he lost his eye in a car accident because the, the kind of car that he was driving had this sort of ornamental thing in the center of the steering wheel.

Oh, no. And it fucking went through his eye. That's horrible. That's why you should never put like a pen in the center of your steering wheel. Yeah, a knife. Yeah. Don't put like a big curtain rod in there.

Yeah, that could hurt. A bugle. The snack. Sure. A bugle the instrument. A bugle would just crumble. If you're a beaut, you think it wouldn't go through your eye?

At that speed? At that speed? At that speed. Okay. Fair enough. are pretty hard. Lauren, a bugle will obliterate your eye. I already gave in.

I just feel like you're not taking this seriously. I really am. It's actually scary how seriously I'm taking it. Oh, no. Oh, no. It's kind of my whole identity now, and it's all I want to talk about. Too far. We turned her into a bugle hard person.

You're not a bugle hard person now, are you? Bules are the hardest thing on earth? You know what's second hardest? Hardest? Apologizing. Wow. Yeah. But you got to do it because that people really like that. People love apologies. Oh my God, they love it. They're fucking horny for them.

They love. They're horny for one. God, who's going to apologize to me today? How many do you receive in a year would you say apologies? Four. Yeah, it seems like maybe four. One a season. Yeah, sure. A seasonal apology. When you get a really nice. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I will say when you get a very nice apology out of nowhere, that's a very nice thing. It is very nice. Yeah. That happened to my wife recently. You apologized to her? Yes. Out of nowhere.

It happened to her. Yeah, it was very unexpected. I was of course filled it in the whole story, but it was, we both remarked it was a really good apology. I had the same thing happened to me. Excuse me, and it was unexpected, and it was a very good

apology, and there was no, but you also did this, or I'm just no, like I'm still mad about that. It was just none of that. It was just none of that. And I was like, this makes me feel better. Absolutely. And then it allowed me to apologize. Yeah.

And I felt good about it. You know what? And it's a good apology unlike reality recap, yeah, Tom Sandival. Okay. Okay. So I really only know him from special forces. Do you watch special forces instead of Vanderpump? Yeah.

I love special forces. I actually get watching that instead of Vanderbubbubh rules. Well, I mean, they're very special. forces. And it's the world's toughest test. Yeah. So it's kind of like, you think I'm not going to watch the world's toughest test? Like if there was a show called forces, a tough test. Yeah. It would be like, a tough test. Let's make these forces a little bit more special. Let's make the test, the toughest test. I think so. Yeah. And I mean, you know, he was on that show and he was so, ugh, eye-roly. Oh, he's the worst. I just, his whole deal. His whole voice is like this.

I was really shocked by his whole look, vibe, demeanor. Did he have the mustache? I'm trying to think. I think he did. Oh, really? I thought it was mustachless. Maybe he doesn't have it. Because they show some clips.

Oh, yeah, because it was kind of like a, what's that singer from Queen? Freddie Mercury? Wasn't it kind of like a long, like a thick mustache that he had? I mean, it wasn't. He had a good mustache, but it was not like a gay biker. Oh, it wasn't a gay biker. Or even a regular biker. It wasn't like Al Pacino and Cruzant.

Oh, no, he was a guy without it. He was the one guy without it. That's how they knew he was undercover. It was moving with the most mustaches of all time. So he made an apology for obviously, for anyone who doesn't know, he cheated on his girlfriend with another cast member on the show. And under all of our noses for years and years. Yes, yes, yes.

Yeah. Well, not for years. Not for years, but months. But he probably cheated with other people for years. You got to assume. With randos. It's tough, you know. But it is.

This show, we watched it last night. Jenny and I, and it is, it was really a heavy episode and it's become like a more of a psychological study than like a fun reality show. Yeah. It was, there were like genuinely tense moments. It was very surprising. I mean, it makes sense. I feel like the stuff that went down at that point was so real.

I don't know about the earlier seasons. But here's his, earlier seasons just felt like a reality show. You know what I mean? It was like messy people being messy. Yeah. Here's his apology style, though. It's like, hey, I just wanted to check in with you. Like, that's not an apology.

He will, when he says, I'm sorry, it's always I'm sorry, but. I'm sorry, but, you know, it was just a tough time. And then it's something that. Yeah, that's so much. What about what about what you did to me? Yeah, exactly. Oh, that's always good. And everyone around him is always saying like, you just need to just sit here and take it.

Yeah, exactly. Well, that's what I think. Everyone gives him the exact same advice. And he's like, I'm doing that already. He was trying to do that by doing toughest test. He was like, I deserve this. to go on another reality show and get paid?

I know, but he was basically in the physical punishment of the challenges. More attention, I deserve this. But there were times when I couldn't, I couldn't believe how weak he was. And I'm not saying I would be good on it. Who else was on that show? Lift up this ball.

Jojo Siwa did amazingly well. There was a point where I believe Tom was having really hard time carrying a person or a big bag or something. And then Jojo was doing it. I was like, this fucking. A big bag. I think it was a person.

I think she was carrying someone on her back. It was an empty bag, but it was just big. It was a big bag. A woeful of bricks. Do you ever watch Kitchen Nightmares? Never. I don't like nightmares. No.

I'm too scared. I won't go in with. No, really? No, hate them. I'm starving. Mike and I love to scream. Not even the fridge. Gordon Ram's, we have two things about Gordon Ramsey, I want to say.

Okay, too. Okay, look, we've been waiting for this. It's the third episode of our new season. This is a new department. Lauren has been talking forever about. Two things she's wanted to say about Gordon Ramsey. This is an official. It's Lauren's two things she wants to say about Gordon Ramsey and go.

One. I think he's like an amazing chef. How would you know? Have you ever eaten anything he's cooked? No, but we've learned from him. Learned what? That he's an amazing chef? We watched a master class thing the other night about scrambling eggs.

Then we started doing it like him and it was really great. What are his techniques to scramble these eggs? He put them in. Put him in a pan? No, he used a pot. He used a pot. He cracked them into a pot, okay? How big?

Medium. So Tom Sandoval could not lift it. Yeah. And he was full of bricks. He was whipping them around and then he puts in butter and he put in crem fresh. And he also put in uni. I mean, I didn't do all this shit. What did you do?

You just put it in a pot. And that was it. We just ordered them. No, actually, we had. I think Mike put crem fresh because he's trying to cook now. I don't want to get into that. But anyway. Well, this has been a big thread.

You've talked about how you're not cooking. Well, no. I do want to get into it that I'm very excited about it, but I don't want to, that's a whole separate topic. You don't want to have a husband who's like a woman. Yes, I do. I would be wonderful. Could be the shit. Number two.

Number, well, hold on. Oh, sorry. I'm so sorry. And so we always say, I apologize. They turn out great. But the number one is still, the other thing I want to say is on the show, he's so, he walks in. You've already said number one. This is part of number one.

This is a, that I might have three. The title is. It can't be a butt. I might have three. Number one, the title is he's a great chef. He's a great chance. And then here's the description. Or number two.

What the fuck? He comes in. You wanted more time for this. I just. Lauren. I'm trying to make it clear. I'm fighting for you. I'm reclaiming my time.

Listeners can't see. Listeners can't see my chart. So I wanted to make it clear. I'll say number two. All right. Well, we can't see it either. It is invisible. So number two, he will come into these restaurants that are gross.

They're nightmares. has the best, he has the best phrases. And so we love to say, put our own kitchen. We're both trying to do something in the space. It's like two small or so. Oh, I love pregnant Lauren so much. Fragend Laura giggles so much. This place is a death.

Here's what I, this made me, I had this thought flashed into my mind that years from now when your children are grown, that a sweet thing to tell them would be that you laughed so much. Oh, that's so nice. Because it really is true. It's true. I can laugh harder. Very giggly. It's true. That's sweet.

And then the third thing about whatever his name is, is that. This is a bonus thing. This is no, this was the main number two. But then the thing I just said became number two. It was the thing, the death trap thing was really part of. You were trying to tie one and two together, but they don't need. There's no, Lauren. Come on.

Okay, so if it was going to be one thing, it was going to be, we think he's a great chef, but he has these great phrases? No, it was, and he does this thing. Okay. And the next one is that at the end of the episode, he re, he sort of recaps like what happened to the camera by himself. outside of the restaurant, standing outside, he'll be like... In case you didn't watch it?

He just kind of like... Here's what we did. Here's what we did and here's our hopes for them and here's like what, like, hopefully they have to do to make this work and then we'll cut back to like, here's us six months later and we'll see what happened. They have to add Ui. He will look around. We've deduced, okay, that his cue cards are on the ground.

Because he's like, looking over here and he looks down over here and he's like, he looks at the camera and then he's like, and then they had, you know, so many positive. and pans and then he looks down and he's like adding something else he's like you're sure he's not he's a he's a downward thinker you know how like when some people think they think up to the right or whatever well so someone else posted about this and we were like oh my god other people are noticing this then we watch the master class he's looking down at that table there's nothing on it when he's talking he is a downward thinker hold on a second wow hold on a second because he's looking down and saying stuff as if it's like referencing notes but there's nothing there i don't mean to sound all tinfoil hat

Okay. But maybe before the masterclass, he saw that people were on to him. Oh. And he was like, the master class, I got to memorize this shit and remember to look down. Yeah. So he's looking up and thinking, I got to remember to look down. Then he looks down. It's just to remember to look up.

I just feel like they could help him in the attic. And enjoy the blue sky. Because when he's looking down, it looks so distracting. Well, that's the thing is they say that you can tell if someone's lying if they're not, when they're remembering something, if they're like looking up into, I believe it's the left. I believe it's the left because then they're like pretending. That's where your imagination is. You have to go up to the left to like look into your imagination. It's like when people actually, when people are trying to remember something.

I thought it was to the right. When people are really trying to remember something, they look up into one direction. They look to one direction. I always look to one direction. And you know what? I still think Harry's going to get back together with them. I think he will eventually. I mean, Justin got back together with NSYNC.

That's right. NSYNC. Insync. N-sync. Was it apostrophe and sync? I think it was star N-sink maybe, but it could be apostrophe. I don't know. Let me look there.

I want to look at like when you're thinking or when you're lying. Why are the Backstreet Boys, the Backstreet Boys? You look. Well, they were all born in alleys in dumpsters. You know what? Howston answered. Yeah. I did not know that.

They were all dumpster babies. Yeah. One of them was a toilet baby. I was going to say. They moved into a dumpster because they're like, this is too embarrassed. Jason. J.C. Chazze? Or was he in sync? Okay, it's a myth. He was born in a sink, actually. It's a myth. But that's the thing is like all the Backstreet Boys, they were born in sinks.

Okay, no, this is a myth that people look at the left. I didn't know. I was pregnant. Then I looked in the sink and there was a baby. It was debunked. Debunked. But a university of Michigan study found when participants lied, they maintained eye contact 70% of the time. I do think that's actually more accurate because it's like you're trying to be like, I'm being. being straight with you right now.

I'm not blinking or anything. I have nothing to be afraid of. I'm just looking at you telling you the truth. I'm looking at you normally. Yes. With my eyes wide open. That's the other, when I read the book Homicide.

Colon, Life on the Street. I don't know if it had a colon in the book, but I believe it was just a law. Just smaller lettering under homicide? I don't think there was any life on the street in the book. I think it was just called Homicide. I could be wrong. I hope you are.

Like I was probably wrong about NSYNC, not having an apostrophe. But actually, you know, the Wikipedia page for NSYNC has just the end and the sink next to each other like it's one word with no apostrophe because I'm working on a project connected dancing. How deeply? Are you in NSYNC now? Yeah, I'm doing all the dancing.

Just the dancing. Yeah. Are you doing Walk the Dinosaur dance? Yeah, we are working on that. I wasn't supposed to show it. Yeah, wow. Okay. What I was going to say about, I'm sorry.

No, breaking. Breaking news? There is an asterisk in front of the end. It's asterisk, N-YS. one word though I mean asteris n S Y and S Y S Y S S Y S S Y C. I just S S S S S Y C

So in sync is who It's I've been watching so much old footage I'm doing a project with Lance Bass and Danielle Fissel Okay okay we believe you Why are you giving us eye contact Because I don't believe that you believe me

And I'm lying The old footage is so amazing when you go back and look at all their wardrobes I just don't even just stop talking I mean like in their houses? Yeah oh god and then you go to Narni Ann and backstreet boys are there it's

okay so it's Justin Timberlake Justin Timberlake Joey fast Joey Fitton let me try Chris Kirkpatrick Okay that I'm out You almost had it and one more JC Chazzy Lance J.C Shazahn All right backstreet boys

Don't know Carter Not Vince Carter. Nick Carter. Agent Carter. Agent Carter, yeah. All the Carter. Nick Carter. They should have a band together.

They should, all the Carter. Haley Atwell. Jimmy Carter's still alive. Let me see. He's available. He's hanging in there. I don't think I know everyone's last name. Any single. Ladies.

Nick, Kevin, Brian. That's where I'm. That's, yeah. If I saw them, maybe I can name. And I don't know anyone's last name other than Carter. Nick DePaolo. Kevin James. Brian Cranston.

Yes. And then one more. AJ. A.J. McLean. Nick Carter. Howie. DeRoe.

Hay J. McLean. Hollywood. Ain't it a bitch? Brian Matrelle. Who is that? AJ Benza. Oh, AJ Benza. Kevin Richardson.

Okay. So the one thing I learned on from the book Homicide is that guilty people, when they bring them into the interrogation room, they always fall asleep. Oh, and this is according to cops? Yes. Okay. Liars fall asleep?

Guilty people when they get at the interrogation room, they always fall asleep. Well, I know somebody who, when they were caught doing something, like caught in a lie. I know this story. They fainted, but it was pretend. Like one of those goats. So my feeling is like falling asleep is like a sort of tactic to be like, I'm not even here. I can't talk about this. You can't wake me up.

It's rude. But I also have a friend who used to interview. And you can't keep me longer than 24 hours. So if I sleep for 24 hours. God damn it, he fell asleep. I have a friend who used to interview celebrities for like E and stuff. And she would get very sleepy. Like in exchange for ecstasy.

This person would interview celebrity? Yeah, this is John Tesh? She would get, once you get nervous about certain people, she would get really sleepy. Yeah. So that's what I think they're trying to say is like these people are so nervous about being caught that they tend to fall asleep. Like it's a, it's a, I don't know. That's so crazy. I'm like, I think if I was about to be caught, my adrenaline would be higher than it's ever been.

They also tell a very funny story about how they would use the copier machine as a lie detector, supposedly, where they would put in the third piece of paper. The first piece of paper when you're loading the paper, it would be blank. The second piece of paper would be blank. And then they'd load a third piece of paper that would say lie. And they would ask, they go, okay, we have a. Just randomly. We have a lie detector here and they would ask a question like, what's your name? And then they would press the button and a blank piece of paper would come out.

They go, where do you live? They would say a blank piece of paper would come out. Did you kill that person? No, I didn't press the button. Lie. They go, well, we got you. And then they would confess. Well, like, why didn't the other one say?

Pops are so funny. Why didn't the first paper say true? I, maybe it did say true and I'm misremembering this. It's been 20 years since I read the book. It was by noted cop lover, David Simon. And it was called Homicide. colon, a year on the killing streets. A year on the killing streets.

Yes. Wow. That's too long. I'm maybe a little afraid. I don't want to spend, I don't even spend two hours on the killing streets. I'll spend a good hour and a half on the killing streets. I love it.

Yeah. I would like to spend a year. Have you watched American nightmare? American nightmare. Stay away from me. Oh, what is that? I don't know, but Elizabeth Lame is always talking about on her podcast. So why are you bringing things up that you have?

She's always talking about it, but you don't know what it is. Well, it's a documentary about something really scary. You're a documentary about something scary. Hey, Scott. I was going to watch it last night. I texted her, should I watch this? She's always talking about it. Because I'm going to be, I'm like when Mike goes to sleep.

So it was like, can I watch this alone or will I freak out? And she was like, I would say watch it during the day. But then I was curious if you watched it. But I know Janie likes stuff like that. I'm sure she's watched it. Okay. Like stuff like that. I thought we would leave that in the old place.

Let me like stuff like that. Let me see. Janie and stuff like that. The Haunted Mansion. Oh, we all went to the haunted mansion. Yeah, great. We should do a Disney Day. We record from Disneyland.

Yeah, that would be so fun. I did a podcast from Disneyland one time. You did a podcast from Disneyland? Don't be scared. This was a podcast called Walking with Michelle. I went walking with Michelle. That was the theme song. I bet it was.

And it was by Michelle Balloon. Oh, yeah. When that song came out, I thought it was old, like a 70s song. Why? The way it sounds. And then I learned it. And also the way your brain is. Yeah. You receive that information. When I heard it, I was like, this is like a cool, retro song. And then it was new. Okay. So the idea was we were going to go there. We were going to record podcasts from it. She was going to go various places and record a podcast with a guest. Right. And so the first one was Disneyland. And this was me and her, producer Matt Bell Knapp, whom you might know from Never Not Funny. Yes. And this is early podcasting days. The silent killer.

That's right. Because he has a silent K on his name. That's why. That's correct. So I call him cholesterol sometimes. Well, that's fun. The silent killer. I thought hypertension was the silent killer.

I think there's a lot of silent killers. Too many. So many don't announce themselves. Yeah, like talk to us, guys. So we recorded this on a Sunday morning. Perfect. Sunday morning. The day after I went.

to a friend's wedding. Oh. Bad timing. Bad timing. And then we discovered that the reason we were doing it, we had to be at Disneyland at 10 a.m. was that he thought there would be less traffic and fewer people there. That's not how that works.

That's absolutely not how that works. There's less traffic and fewer people at like 7 p.m. Yeah. Yeah. Disneyland, it turns out, is very popular. I think so. with children who wake up early who will go there in the morning.

Yeah. And I was hung over as hell. Yeah. This is what I do in this situation. I call Disneyland and I say there's a bomb. That's what you do. And so then they close the whole place and you can't go. Most people should leave.

But let a few of us in, okay? There's a bomb that is set to go off around 2 p.m. All right. We have to take a break. Bye. Every bold journey starts with a decision to go. And if you're ready, the Defender is too. This is a vehicle built for more, whether you're heading off the grid or just getting out of town for the weekend.

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And we're back. And it's time for a three-trainment. I know. This is a special part of the show where we play a little game. Are we playing a game? Yes, we are. Yes, we are. Or we do a scene. Or it's something like that.

Yeah. Because this is three times. These are submitted by you. Yeah, so don't blame us. Yeah. And the theme song was submitted by Michael Jackson. He submitted it for our approval. And we said, you know what, turn this into something different for your own album.

Oh, Scott, you didn't finish drinking your alcohol. I drink everything in it. I don't want to eat the chocolate. Hey, you don't have to drive. Go ahead. Okay. Um, okay, this was submitted by Robert Cubb. Okay.

Aw. I know, he's a little cub. He's just a baby bear. He's just a baby bear. It has no title, but then our, uh, other things are Cubs. Okay. Matt Exop producer. Matt Exot producer.

Oh, Matt X. I hate that guy. He, man, we can finally say it. Benedict Arnold. Yep. He, he. We left. He just stays where he is.

Did Benedict Arnold do anything that bad that we're still talking about him? I saw something recently that led me to believe that I guess certain people think that he was framed or he was trying to do something good. Certain people. I think I know who you're talking about. Let me guess. They don't like the company Pfizer. I love Pfizer. This last name is Kennedy.

Pfizer had a commercial during the Super Bowl that was so bad and it was like it was to the tune of Don't Stop Me Now by Queen. Oh yeah, the mustache-oed rocker. They just did like moving lips. It's like that face tune thing or whatever. Just moving lips on paintings and busts and sculptures and shit like that. Good shit. It looked so bad.

The CGI was the animation was so bad. So bad. Well, they had to spend so much money getting it on TV. I know. But their whole thing. thing was like we're the future of science we've always been to the forefront of science like this sucks if this is how good your drugs are yeah yeah i always feel like i could write great commercials if only i was given the chance i've always felt that about you too yeah but no one will

give you to you too that you should be in it i know you too could write great commercials i think if bano wanted to if you put his mind to it he could write a jingle a lot of his songs should just be commercials like which yeah like you're the expert which but you know what a lot of them The song will have to be really, really, really. You're a witch, you're a witch. And the witch is back. That part of Pocus Focus Focus, too, was fun. Wait, hold on it said.

I have not seen it. It's fun. So in the witch version, it's an accusation. As opposed to the original version, it's like, I am a bitch. I'm a witch. Okay, look, we got to do this thing. I'm not a witch. I'm you.

Remember that? No. What was her name? O'Donnell, I think. Rosie. Rosie. No. If only.

Speaking of painting. is Rosie O'Donnell. It was this young woman who was running for president. Remember that movie East of Eden where she's... Where she's dressed like in a... Like in Dominionary... I remember the cover of it. Dominionary gear.

I remember seeing that at the... Dominioning gear. I saw it at the video store like all the time. Like who do you want to see in this stuff? Rosie O'Donnell and Dan Aykroyd. He wears Dominatrix gear. I believe so. And then...

I gotta watch this. There's a, like, a sub on this island they go to? I haven't seen it. A submarine. Wait, so they're in a domenobin. Dom's sub relationship? Well, everyone goes to this island. They're like us. They were undercover cops. Yeah, they're undercover cops.

Okay. But they're all dressed like this, and there's a sub who comes in and goes, I will do anything you command of me, mistress. And she goes, paint my house. It's one of the oldest jokes. I'm going to watch that. It's as old as in the butt bob. I think even older. Which is, by the way, from Sea of Love.

The movie Sea of Love, the Alpegino, the Upagino movie. There, two characters are telling this story as if it's, and it's an old joke that turns out to be true as we learn from Paul of Tompkins Oh the newlywed game thing Yeah the newlywed game thing It's in sea of love

You can't just put it This is where it's like You can't just use some old street joke And call yourself a scriptwriter Like write your own joke That's so weird Why is that in sea of love? I don't know

But the killer I believe it's the killer The killer steals that joke The killer steals a bad guy There's the proof There's the proof. There's the proof. Okay, look. Matt Exxaw producer says maybe this could be called reality bites.

Why? Matt. It doesn't make any sense for what I know the game. Oh, maybe, oh, sorry, realty bites. There we go. Even worse. Well, that's not actually makes sense. No.

No. No. It's great. No. It's perfect. No. It's called realty bites. Realty bites. Okay.

For this game, one person's a realtor. And then the other two are a potential couple trying to buy the house. A potential couple. Yeah. It's a will they, won't they? This is a first date. It's like a Sam and Diane situation. But they're being kind of quirky.

I'm like going to look at an open house. Here's a fun thing you do on a first date. Buy a house. Yeah. I think I mixed up the words. It's potential buyers of the house. Thank you. We figured it out.

Here's how we should do it out. You just, you, you, you, uh, neither of us are going to text you this problem. You just come up with a problem for the house. Is that okay? Oh, I have to guess what the problem is. And we'll try to figure out what this. guess what the problem? Wait, we're all going to try to figure it out?

No, no, no, no. I don't know. No, you, no, you, you know what the problem is. I know what the problem is. Read the words on the page. No, because we're changing it so one person doesn't just sit there. I sort of feel like it makes more sense for the realtor to not know what the problem is.

Like in the way these games go. Okay, so I'll text, I'll text Lauren what the problem is. What do you? What, honey? I don't get why me knowing, like, tell me what's happening. I am the realtor. I have to guess what the problem. And we're going to hint at it.

Yes. Okay. Yes. Thank you. Okay. So I'm going to text Lauren what a problem is and we're going to be a couple. If you're new to the show, we play these three teachers that are variations on five different things. And sometimes the people who submit them don't exactly incorporate all three of us into the thing.

So we have to change the rules. Yeah, it's rude. I know people are trying to push me out of the show. The fans. Okay. I have texted Lauren the issue. Exciting. And we are going to hint around the issue.

Got it. Okay. Yeah. Reddit. Put it in my memory. Reddit. Hi. Come on in.

Oh, the door's open. You don't have to... I know, but I just wanted to see if it works. It's a nice party door. This is a good door. It's very thick. I just want to make sure if I were... It's a party door.

Well, it's good for a very party. It's a very thick door. It's great for parties. I love this. So, it's a party door. So this is beautiful. Thank you. Can you tell me a little bit about the home?

Yes, it has... Tell me too. Like, don't just tell... Oh, no, no. And are you a couple or you're almost a couple? We're a potential couple. It could work out that way, but I'm the breadwinner. So I think you should speak directly to me.

Okay. See, here's our situation. We want to live together. Yeah. But we don't know whether we want a date or not. But we feel like if we get a house that's big enough, maybe it has upstairs, downstairs kind of thing. Like, one part could be his, one part could be mine.

And if it doesn't work out, then we just have a good place to live. That sounds terrific. I'm in a similar situation. Oh, really? What's your situation? Like a situation. I'm stalking someone that I think is going to come around. Okay, great.

Someone who lives in your house? So I live in their house in the walls. Oh, got it. Oh, like a bad Ronald situation? Yeah, my name is Ronald. So you get to hear like everything. I think I'm good. You get to hear everything that they're doing?

Everything that they're doing. Well, that's great because it gives you a lot of insight into what kind of stuff they want to talk about. It does. And I surprise them with gifts. You know them intimately at this point, So you know whether you like them or not. Where do you leave the gifts?

I leave them in the walls, which is not working great. They haven't found them. Yeah. Especially if it's food. Do you ever say like, have they sport? High through the wall? I do. High through the wall.

I'm very, I'm very quiet. Because I don't want to scare them. Right. So what I'll do is like when this person gets in bed, I will be behind the head of the bed in the wall. And I'll just be like, do they have a sound machine or anything while they're sleeping? They do, but it broke a while ago, so now I have to imitate the sound like me. Oh, okay. So they don't know it's broken.

They turn on and you have to immediately go. Okay, Ronald, I love to give you a huge commission. Please call me good Ronald. I love to give you a huge commission on this house because you just seem great. I would love to tip you on top of the commission. I like the sound of this. Well, let's talk about the house. Yeah.

So you like upstairs and downstairs. It has two upstairs. Okay. Oh, cool. How's that where? Do they go off in different directions? Exactly. So you go upstairs and then you can.

can go upstairs again. That's so fun. And you can also go back downstairs twice. That's so fun. Okay. How many times can you do it in one day? It doesn't have a slide, but it's slide ready. Oh, okay. Can you install a fireman's pole, do you think, in between all these? I can't, but you can. I'm sorry, I'm a woman. I just sell the houses. And I asked a question. I'm sorry, what was your question? Are you in STEM? I was just going to, I was wondering how many times a day you can go up and down the stairs. You can, it's unlimited. Okay. You can go up and down the stairs as many times as you like. So we pay it, that's part of the mortgage. We're paying for unlimited stair usage. Yes. It has crown molding. Is there a way to discount it if we don't ever want to go upstairs? I can talk to the seller about that. Well, there's

something I saw, no, I just want to be a little bit. I think we should just tell them. Yeah. We were poking around outside, kind of peering through windows. Okay. And we saw, I think, what's a huge problem. It's definitely a problem. I don't, well, I think I know what you're talking about. I hope so. I mean, it's huge. I would say it's affecting a whole thing. Right. But look at it as, I know that it seems like a problem from the outside looking in. But it would be worse when we're inside. It's an opportunity. To what? To do something that you've never done in a house before. A swim? I don't think it's. Yes. That's one thing.

Okay. But I... One thing you could pretend to go fishing? Yeah. I don't think any fish could survive in that. It doesn't seem sanitary. Well, that's why I said pretend. Okay, that's a good point.

He did say pretend, honey. I know, but imagine if... Can I call you, honey? Don't call me that yet. What do you want me to call you? Um, Avery. Dr. Avery? I know you have your PhD.

I have a last name, too. Wait, I thought Avery was your last name. I thought so too. It's my first name. What's your last name? A wonderful first name. Belong. Avery Belong.

Dr. Avery Belong. And what's your name? I'm sorry. His name. Peanuts. And what's your last name? No, that's my, that is my last name. Oh, your last name is Peanut.

Yeah, I'm Mr. Mr. Peanuts. Yeah. Mr. Minutes. Mr. Minutes. Mr. Peanuts. His first name is Mr.

Mr. Peanots. Dr. Belong. I know that it seems like that area in the house is maybe toxic and dangerous. Yeah. Yeah.

It's, I mean, you know. I know it's, and it seems deep. It's incredibly deep. I'm just worried that I could catch some sort of disease. Yeah. I mean, it's fine for most of the house. Obviously, you know, I don't expect it to be finished necessarily, but. I mean, I think it should be dealt with.

I do. Is there any way to drain it? I wouldn't do that because I think the fuller. it gets, the more you can take advantage of it. I'm just worried it's going to see up into the first floor. So do you think maybe I can donate it to science? Or what do you think? I mean, that's up to

you. I think you can, it's good for tracing circles. Where did it all come from? It's good for tracing circles. Or not. I don't know what that means. It doesn't. No, it's not good for that. I don't even know what that means tracing circle. Well, it's a realtor's term. Oh, we're not realtor's.

I can't. There's no way I can explain. There's not a term for it. A non-realtly circles is like... Realty bites. So there's no way to describe it without talking about exactly what. Without being a realtor. Exactly. Mr. Mr. Peanuts gets it.

Yeah. I actually get it too. I'm a woman in STEM. But you could just put the cover on it. It has a special cover that you could put on it. Okay. Okay. You see these.

Sort of like a waterbed feeling at that point. Maybe we'd forget what it was underneath it. Yes, exactly. and I'm helping you out honestly because I don't think I can live like this I mean it doesn't if we just never went down there it would be fine but sure but I want to store things down there

yeah eventually we want to oh you can store things I go like what what do you need storing and I'll tell you if you can do it in it Childhood momentos yeah put them in there but they're going to be just

they're going to be ruined they're going to be red and and soaking wet red and red and soaking wet. Yeah. I mean... I guess I could store my old pads down there.

Yeah, I guess. Why are you keeping your old pads? Well, because I like to remember. Do you have your first one? I sort of just chuck every month to be like, and how did that compare it last month, you know? And so it's just like... Is it ever different?

Oh, yeah. Really? What's the variation on it? Sometimes to have your flow. Right. Right. I think you can make a wonderful wall piece out of those. Like a sort of...

That's a great idea. So I shouldn't put them in the basement. tuning if I'm thinking of the right person. I shouldn't put them in the basement. No, don't put them in the basement. And you were looking through the basement window? Yeah. Yeah.

I would say that you can use this in an emergency situation. Look, if I'm dying and need a transfusion. Yes, if you're the correct type, what's your blood type? It's Z negative. She's an anomaly. The universal refuser. And what's yours? I'm Zed.

Oh, the English. I'm from Canada. Marsh Refuser UK. Yeah. All right. So look, a lot of houses are not going to have an amount of blood this substantial. I mean, it's too substantial. So, I mean, there's no such thing.

In home buying, there's no such thing as too much blood. Look, just tell us the truth. Why is the basement filled with blood? Why is the basement filled with blood? Before you got here, I had a bloody nose. This all came from you? I was picking my nose, okay? And it started to bleed.

Don't you know you can pick your friends and you can pick your nose? But you can't pick your friend's nose? Yeah, that's why I wasn't doing it. Okay. Oh my God. Because your fingers in my nose right now. Well, you're not my friend. I thought we were friends.

Wait, you really think relationships are so much. Good Ronald? We went to high school together. Good Ronald McDonald? Has that been you intended? I'm not the bad one who sells hamburgers. Okay, well, I think we should just take it. You guys have a history.

How much is it? Oh, that's a good question. How much is the house? Are you ready for this? Yeah. $1. And $1 billion. It's not that bad, actually.

What's a billion cents? It must be... How much is one billion pennies? $10 million. $10 million plus $1 for a bloody basement? I'll take. And a house with two upstairs. I want that.

I want that. I want that. I want the blood basement. Can we keep the blood? Of course you can. Do you want it back? No. I'm peck in your head.

No. I can't take it back. I'm blood type K. Oh, that's a better out than in type. Oh, God. Can't go back in. K for can't go back in. K for can't go back in.

Well, thank you so much. Thank you so much. We obviously have a lot to talk about. No, we don't. It's where do we sign? And we're a thruple? That's what I'm saying. We have a lot to talk about.

Where do we sign? Oh, yeah. Well, I think we should ask Kim. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Why are we discussing it? We're a couple. Yes.

We're a thruple now. And we're a thruple now. I love it. Sign right here. Who's living in the basement? Me. I mean, it's an upgrade from out of the walls. It is.

You're going to be swimming in blood. I'm going to sleep in a canoe. This makes sense now. You already had this planned out. Yes, I did. So what? Did we just walk into your trap? Yeah.

Do you like it? I love it here. It's a beautiful trap. Thank you. Ted Mill. You put an eight, I'll put two. That seems fair, dude. Eight dollars?

Yeah, times a million. Damn it. This fucking guy. Hey, this fucking doctor over here. Fucking doctor. All right, that's it. We did it. We did it.

That was fun, right? Thank you, Matt. The final time we'll ever refer to you on Mike. But thank you, Robert. Robert Cub for submitting that. I'm trying to remember this story that there was... Cubby! I bet people call him that. Someone who did Ask Cat Ones who was a showrunner.

And he talked about how as a child, how he picked his nose so much. He would put all his boogers in the lampshade and all over the room. And then one time he picked it so much, it started going crazy bleeding. And this whole family was like freaking out. And did he put the blood on the lampsheet? I think he had to go to the hospital. It was like a whole thing. Oh, no.

It was about how much he picked his nose. I did a podcast once. I can't even, I can't even discuss it. It makes me sick to my stomach. We'll say it. It's not. Lauren's in that pregnant thing where you can't. Say it.

Say the gross thing. I want to hear gross things like she wants to eat pickles. Oral pica. Talk to me about the taste of hair. Say it. All right. I'll text it to you because I honestly kind of, I will gag if I say it out loud. Ew, am I going to throw up?

I don't fucking know. Okay, here's what you need to know. If you want to write to us and suggest one of these games, If you want to write our feature, you got to send it to us now. We need a jingle. Send it to us at Freedom USA at gmail.com. Nailed it. And then if you want to leave us, by the way, so you've heard the first of these about a week

and a half ago, we're doing our Three Mium episodes. This is the first time that we're mentioning them here on a proper show. But every other week we're putting out three-mium episodes where we're answering your voicemails. You can get them at CBB World as well as Apple Podcasts Premium. And if you want to, this is huge news. Premium. Remember how people could call us and leave these voicemails and they had to call a special number? Hag claimed eight.

We do not have that number. We lost it? We lost the number. But what we gained. the number was a website Hagg claims8.com where people can leave us voicemails.

A website? A voicemail website? Yes. So go to hagclaims8.com the number eight. The number eight. Hagclaims8.com and leave us voicemails and we'll answer them on a three-meam episodes. It does seem better. Websites seem more official. It seems better. Anybody can have a fucking phone number. I know what I mean? Exactly. I mean

to figure out how to check it. It's just we've got to figure all that. If they spell out the number eight, will it redirect? I'd have to buy two websites. Right? And then teach a man to fish. Who am I going to teach how everyone knows how to fish these days? Yeah, it's true.

Well, what's complicated? It's like archaic expression. No, it was, yeah, back in the day when they made up that expression back in Jesus times, when fishing was new, everyone's like, how do you do this? Now everyone fishes. It's like it doesn't make sense anymore, but we still say it. Oh, that first guy of fish must have been so annoyed. Like, now I've got to show you another one.

He's like, I just figured this shit out. Why can't you show him after I showed you? So leave us these voicemails at hag claims8.com. Leave us these voicemails. He's whatever you're going to say. Those come out every other Wednesday. And then our three visiting on the Tuesday episodes are still coming out. These are our old episodes that are behind the hall.

Classic. Classique. So that's all of the business here at Threatom. That's all we got. That's all we got for you. I don't know what more you want. We just hope you have a great day or night. depending on when you're listening to this. Or if you're sleeping, because some people put on podcast to sleep, which is so strange to me.

Well, if you're sleeping, blah, loo-la-la-la-la-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-a-da-a-a-a-a-h. Bye.