Threedom - Threevisiting: Captain Thesaurus

Episode Date: September 8, 2026

Threevisiting on the Tues: Paul, Lauren, and Scott celebrate 200 episodes and discuss woodshop and fine dining before playing Secret Word. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Unlock every episode of THREEDOM and THREEMIUM, ad-free, on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/shop Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lemonada. Audio ads that connect. Display ads that stand out. Run them together on Spotify and unlock incremental reach for your campaign. Hey everyone. I'm Dr. Michael Bruce the Sleep Doctor. I've spent decades studying sleep, counseling thousands of patients and giving loads of lectures. But there's always more to learn in the world of sleep science, especially right now.

That's why I started a podcast, Better in Bed, with the Sleep Doctor. In each episode, I leave you with the tool. you need to improve your sleep, which in turn will change your entire life. Whether you're entering menopause, trying to get your kid down for a nap, or overwhelmed by which sleep supplements are worth your money, my guests and I are here to help you sleep better. From Lemonada Media and Sleep Doctor, Better in Bed with the Sleep Doctor is out now. Subscribe on YouTube or follow wherever you get your podcast. Freedom! Freedom! Let's count from one to 200. Okay. One, three, four, et cetera, 200. We did it. I can't believe we made it to 200.

Can you? I was really looking forward to showing off and strutting my stuff. You don't even know 17. Of course I do. 18, 19, 20. But you forgot 17. 16 and then did the rest. Wow. Can you imagine doing 200 of this? No, I honestly can't. If you had to guess how many episodes we've done, what would you say? 10. I'd say 12. Maybe. But I don't remember any of them. Don't touch my foot. with your foot. Ew. It wasn't me.

It was me. Ew. Long legs. I have a long leg. One long leg. One long leg. No one's ever seen a picture of Paul with his one one one white. Don't give it away for free.

Yeah. Do you show it at Varitopia? You got to go to WikiLeg. It's behind a variety. It's in the freak tent. Yeah, yeah. You just go around the corner. You can see my leg.

I like the idea. That it's just assumed that I have a freak tent It's an old-fashioned type show You should. Freak tent. Yeah. I should. I should also have a bunch of fleas on unicycles. They really know how to do that back then?

Yeah, back then they did and they forgot. Today's modern fleas are very adept at all sorts of machinery. No, modern fleas don't want to work. They're so lazy. They walk it on a fucking motorcycle. It's like, hey, fleas, maybe stop buying your avocado toast. That's what I'm saying. Yeah.

Just take the paycheck you're getting. Take the paycheck fleas. What do you think they get paid in dog blood? Well, you don't get paid in food. Like, you get paid in... They're fleas. What are they going to go to a store? Oh, gosh.

I know one flea that's very rich. Flea from red hot chili peppers. Oh, sure. And that brings us to our guest today. The actor? Yeah, let's bring it in. Flea! The actor, flea.

He did ask cat monologues once. That was cool. Was it cool? Mm-hmm. I got to meet Flea. Well, there you go. I know it's been a dream of yours for, quite some time.

Do you rub his back? I was fleaking out. I wanted to meet Flea, Anthony Kedis, another one, and a fourth. And the other one. Other ones. The other one. So it's a 200th episode. Yeah, by the way, this is Three-Dum.

Oh, I'm Lauren. Not Flea-dom. I'm Scott. I'm Paul. And Flea is not on this show. No, you never will be. If you came here expecting the Flea podcast, guess what? You're out of your damn mind.

You're out of your gourd. You're out of your depth. Yeah. But, you know, it's the 200th episode. and I was thinking about this a lot leading up to today. And I put together. A montage? You put together a montage in previous episodes?

Yeah. Here we go. Hi, welcome to the first episode of three. I was actually, shut the fuck out. I heard you say that before. You told me this story before. And we're back. Oh, wow.

Speaking of montages, how about the Oscars? How about it? Wait, you guys didn't even let me say. I know this is months and months and months ago. I put together a list of 200 things I like about it. No one was stopping. What? Well, you'd switch to the Oscars.

We talk over each other. Well, that's true. You don't like what somebody's saying. Start talking. Honestly. This is a good rule for everybody. Yes. If you're bored with any conversation, just start talking.

Don't like what you're hearing. Make the noise you want to hear. Anyway, I... It blew out the window, is what I was going to say. Oh, no! That's why I'm crying right now. Do you remember any of them? No.

Wait, was it in sort of like a fugue state? Was it $199 for Paul and won for me? It might have been. Scott. You share some of the same traits. Male gender. White male. I like that you're white male genders.

Okay, that's not the title. So what about the Oscars? Montage. This is months and months ago. I don't care. Who cares? Our topics. I'm still mad about it.

All these months later. Having spent a full day listening to like five episodes. of the show that we're recording right now. We don't care when it comes out or what we're doing. Look, we've recorded these two times. We need shit to talk about. Tell us about the montage of the Oscars. The in-memorial montage where they showed a bunch of people.

What were they singing, by the way? Oh, it was like Nesund Dorma or something like that. That was really nice. That was really nice. Nesond Dorma. Yeah, it sounded just like that. Men have named you. That's beautiful.

It was a nice choice Sometimes the song can be You know And it was acting Is it connected to death? I don't know the words I don't either I'm saying it was a pretty song

In another language Right Dorma I think means sleep Right It does Yeah Nesson means You soon will You soon will sleep

Okay so I guess Because you're dead Yep True So is that one dude And some younger dude I believe was his son Maybe

Was his son Yes That's nice Wow Yes And did his son Just lead him out there And he's like

What are You and Emmy someday could be on stage singing Nessune Dormir. He surprised his dad. My dad doesn't know that I can sing as good as he does. I'm going to wait until the Oscars. As good as he does. And then after the song's over, I'm going to turn to him and say, Dad, that was me. Did you know that was my mouth moving?

Okay. What did you not like about it? They show, you know, pictures of this person, that person, various departments. dead people, although sometimes they get them wrong. I don't know about that. I think if anything, they leave people out, and that's usually offensive. Well, here's what they did this time,

because they didn't want to leave anybody out. Well, they still did. They did it for a while, and then all of a sudden... Then it was three at a time. No, five of them. It was a block of name. Text only at the end.

And you could just shot in a wide shot. Why did they put the names on the screen? I thought that was rude. It was rude. They should have had on my TV. Should have been full of the names. It's not in the background. I see that there are names.

You thought it was so rude you slapped your TV. I did. And it's called the slap. Part two. What is called that? The tablet stories about it. Oh, I see, I see. But I...

The slap heard around the living room. Honey, are you slapping the TV again? So sad. But that is like there's all the people's jobs and all the things. Make time for that. No, I know what I mean? Make time for that. Well, you know, because we...

It took up a chunk. But they, if you... You're going to throw 30 names. But at the end, let's just see the pictures as well. Give me time to read two of them if you're going to throw up 30 names. I know. They put up 50 names from far away and then they go right to commercial. But people have pause buttons now, you know?

You want to have the live experience. That's true. You're right. I wanted the live experience. I just rolled right through and thinking, I'm going to go back and pause this and read every single name. Exactly. And I never did. I think there might have been like a QR code or something.

If you want to see the complete list of dead people. Go to your local. They're all buried in the same place. Your local cemetery. Wherever you are. Cemetery should have a list of every single dead person who's ever existed. They do. It's on the fucking thing.

Fuck you. What's the fuck? 200 times. What thing? What thing? It's on the fucking. I'm saying every dead person who existed ever. The passenger manifold?

That mad at my box. What's talking about? Matterfest, I bet. What do you call? The gravestone? Yeah. Could you imagine if you went around to every single one because you want to know, rather than they have a list and you say, no, no, no, no.

I want to really absorb this. I go around to every single headstone. Yeah. And let me just get these names. Yeah. And then you make your own list. Or you know, I'll just do a picture. And then you cross-reference the other list.

Yes. You see how well you did. Yes. Yeah. I think that's a good idea. Thank you. I want to take up some time. I think it's a good use of time.

You guys are bored, right? Yeah. Oh my God. So bored. Life's so boring. Yeah. Do you remember? Did you have this when you were a kid?

You would say you were bored and then your mom would say like, here's a bunch of chores you could do. Yes. Jesus. Wrong move. I never made that mistake again. I feel like my mom would trigger you some ideas. I said I was bored not dying to be put to work. But I don't like, I don't like if you're bored, you're boring.

That's not true. Yeah, I don't think that's true. I think anybody can be bored. It's even boring if you're bored. I once... I once dated a Mormon girl. Ew. Who I found out.

Were you allowed to touch her? I don't know. Did you soak? We never established any of that. Did you soak? So, oh. What's the one where the people, you have your friend jump on the bed? I don't know.

It's so insane. Just fuck each other. It's so insane. That's so nasty. It's actually gross. than just having sex. Like, imagine believing in God, right? And then you're like, I'm going to figure out a way to cheat him.

Hey, God. I got your ass. God doesn't know about soaking. He knows all. He invented it. He's so frustrated. God is so frustrated by soaking. He's like, God, they got me.

I know. But yeah, we never established any of the rules of what we could do or couldn't do in that regard. So I just kind of was like, you know, taking stabs at it. Just going like, is this all right? Is this all right? and never any complaints, but the one thing was... This story is unseemly.

It's not going on. It was a tangent. It was a story part of it. It's your fault. It's a tangent. Just that it's a tangent doesn't... The story part of it hasn't started. What's happening within that tangent. I'm describing your action.

That's just a tangent. Oh, it was a tangent. He's off the hook. I was taking a stab at it. Is it just good? It's just good. You like this? You like this.

Never said anything. no it was well received is what I'm saying just don't don't don't don't what I'm but the story part is so he soaked while his best friend jumped on the bed the story part is that I found out that she wasn't allowed to do anything on Sundays that cost money

right I remember I didn't know that was a rule we talked about this we have yes well not to me I don't think but it reminded me of your story about like if you're bored so she had not just spent money on Sunday yeah she threw a book at me of like like here's here's the Mormon book of like things that you can do without money and then we had to go through here's my user manual and every single thing was shitty and so we ended up not

doing anything go to the park and look at a bird I mean I can think of a million things but they're not exciting checkers chess I don't think they're can they play board games I'm when I say I think so they can't play cards cards probably well it's more like gambling there's many but cards there's so many games have cards in them uno the rest oh my God, it's so true. Yeah. Against humanities. That's true.

My favorite game, Dutch Blitz. Oh, yeah. We started playing that the other day. Soy Fun. Oh, yeah, because I know June's really into it from listening to the podcast. Yeah. I think she got Kulup into it. Because they took a trip, yeah.

Then when we went away, Koolup introduced Dutch Blitz to me. Do you like it? I like it, but playing it with two people is different, I guess, than playing it more than... It is. Is Dutch like Dutch Blitz like secret Hitler, but you go have these? Yeah. It's a card. game where you're basically stacking in a certain order and then trying to make piles.

It's like you're just trying to go as fast as you can. I can make piles. I can make piles. You don't know what I'm talking about. You're making piles right now. Do you know what? Yeah, Paul just took a big duty duty. You did it.

So she's the bad guy for calling you out? Or was it just a tangent? When I worked on Kelsey Grammer. Nobody resents the what? Nothing. It wasn't just a tangent. Yeah, we heard you. I know, but it made sense.

I wanted to talk about. We don't have you on the show. it makes sense. I wanted to hear my voice. Okay, go. So talk, talk, talk, talk. When I was right, and Kelsey Grammer resents the sketch show. I remember... And everyone in it. Yeah, well, that's implied.

Yeah. Yeah. We were shooting somewhere, and I was sitting, we were sitting outside, and I was just sitting, like, on the stone wall. Awesome. And it was kind of chilly out. It was November in London. And I remember the one of the...

That's some cold shit. one of the grips this guy named Owen who I really liked Was it Owen Wilson? Yeah Holy shit He was a grip Yeah that's how he got to start

Wow Yeah he was a grip on Kelsey Grammer Presents the sketchwork Wow Wow Wow Kelsey Wow and he had done a couple of movies before that

But they But people didn't really care Didn't really catch on Yeah Really And then once they saw him as a grip They were like Get back to acting

Yeah Okay Is that how he broke his nose Do it like Ran into a light or something Yes Exactly It's exactly.

Crazy. He didn't pay attention to hot points, and he got hit right in the nose. Great. What a good story. Thank you, Paul. Well, there's more. What? That was a tangent?

So Owen saw me sitting on the stone wall, and he said... Oh, I still think it's Owen Wilson. Paul, mate, don't sit there. You get piles. Poles. He thought I would get hemorrhoids from sitting on the cold wall. Is that something that happens? I don't think so.

I'm sitting on just stone or... If you put like ice on anything. On anything. If you sit on anything, you could get hemorrhoids. What? Yeah. Is that why you have a standing desk while you do this show? I'm not taking any chances.

Also, I'm doing my taxes. Oh, right? Oh my God. How are they going this year? Not good. Uh-oh. I have a government $8 million. Oh, my God.

I remember when I had a lien put on my finances. Oh, yeah. I remember, yeah. I've had so many of those. Yeah, because I was raised with no skills. Why? We didn't have like home-EC or anything in school. Nobody talks about money in school. No. And you really shouldn't.

We had a home-ac, but I was making pancakes and that's about, that's all I remember. Very economical. Scramble eggs and shit. Wait, how are your pancakes? Were they flat? Well, at the time, I think I was better, because I'm poor, I'm poor at pancakes now. We discussed. I'm pulling with cubes right now. I'm making cubes. What the fuck?

Pancake cubes? What are you talking about? You're so bad. You're so bad. Your pancakes are cubes. I don't know. I don't know what's going on. We got to stop doing the show. Holbeck was mainly baking.

This was the last one. This one is the last one. You also had wood shop. Your pancakes are so bad. They're cubes. We also had wood shop. Would you make? Birdhouse?

No. I made a. What's going on here? What's going on with you? What's about being flat? Are you going to Scarborough Fair? I made a box. I made a jigsaw puzzle.

A box. I made some of those. Did you use the jigsaw? I did. How was that? Was that fun? I've never used it. You know, I think it's a horrible idea for seventh and eighth graders. Oh, yeah. We did do it. Terrible. Yeah.

It's really, they should. No one ever got hurt from my record. The only reason they have you do it is because, like, if you're going to flunk, then you need to have that as a backup. No, that was our. Yeah. That was our. You might have to go to the puzzle factory.

Yeah. Oh, I see what you're saying. No. So why are they making, like, good students like you? It was just a, it was just an assigned class. I know. That's what I'm saying. It shouldn't be. It should be.

It wasn't special. They shouldn't have done that to you. Well, they did, and I survived it. I was going to tell you about... I like that. I like that attitude. And I think the kids need more misery. I think so, too. Really?

Kids have it too good these days? Kids have it too good. Yeah. With their iPads and not getting hurt. Yeah. And their ticks and their talks. Yeah. Your fingers, by the way, are shaped like puzzle pieces.

Did you accidentally... Yeah, I guess because I actually just ran them through the jigsaw when I was in seventh grade. No. Do they fit together? They do perfectly. Oh, that's nice. Yeah.

Don't yours? No. They don't? I'm missing one. What happened? I think my wife threw it away. Okay. I think she found it under the couch and she threw it away.

Why was it under the couch? Because I was in a hurry. So you left your finger under the couch? Yeah. I'm sorry if that's so impossible to understand. Well, it doesn't make a lick of sense. I was in a hurry so I left my finger under the couch. I'm in a hurry to get things done.

What's that? Alabama. What? The state? That's their state motto. I'm in a hurry to get things like this. I'm in a hurry to get things done. Oh, I rush and rush until life's no fun.

All their voices were like, ooh, bar, that's the Oak Ridge boy. Oh, okay. What did Alabama do? What was Alabama's big song? That one? You shouldn't be able to call your band. an entire state. You don't think that was a big song?

I don't, I haven't know, I've never heard that song before. It's great. Like Chicago? Just taking it for themselves? Play it. Okay. They had the decency to not name any of their albums at least. Oh, that one I know.

One more time. Igles. Igles. Alabama bands, the, uh, the official website. Does that help? Let's start there. Absolutely. Tour dates?

Let's check out their two days They're Nope They're I mean They have a lot this summer Go see them And learn what their songs are

Yeah maybe What are your songs We're gonna show you Before they could play a note Maybe they'll cross over with a CBB tour And we can go see them on a On an office That'd be great for you guys

Sure Would that be fun Yeah I might have a cold Number one singles Wow they got a ton of them Well name some Tennessee River.

Why, lady, why? Don't know, don't know. Tennessee River, I can't remember how that goes. I don't know, but these are all number one on the country albums. Boo! Just play the one I like. What is it called?

I'm in a hurry. I'm in a hurry. From 1992? Oh, that's why. It was also our passing period song, my senior year. I beg your pardon? Between like second period and home bass or something like that, they would play, which was.

Okay, we have the. an ad first for Help kids lives. Help kids live, not help kids live. You just have to put your mind. Rush and rushing to life's no fun. All I really gotta do is living in a hurry and don't know.

Can't know why. I have to drop. Did they do, um, it's a great son. Who did Carrie on my wayward son? Kansas. Kansas. Another one.

Another one. Come on. Everybody. But then some haven't been taken. Like Alaska. Are you sure about that? Florida. Florida, yeah. Well, Florida.

Yeah. But he had the DECD. Iowa. That was a close one. OIwa. Connecticut. They would play a song. Connecticut.

They would play a song at this one point of the day. Every Friday. When you say home base, do you mean home room? It was called home base. Home base. And they would play it. It sounds fucking. Every Friday is the Friday song.

And then you have a new one each year. This school sounds so cool. Each year. So then you're like, this is the new song for the year. And when would they premiere it? Would it be like a big... First Friday of the year. First Friday of the year, they would unveil it.

They would unveil it. And then we know, this is the song. I think there was the principal or somebody picked it. What a cool, dude. And then if you didn't like it, because one time it was Country Road, take me home. That really annoyed me. That's weird. Yeah.

I thought it would be tied into... has nothing. Moving around, like going from place to place. No. Because this, it wasn't, it wasn't celebrating you guys moving around.

It was celebrating the fact that it's Friday. Would the whole song play? Um, I guess through the three minute passing period. Passing period. Why am I calling it that? But I think it was, no songs are longer than three minutes.

Passing. Ooh, good catch. Yeah, they faded out. Most songs? They would do it longer than three years. A self-imposed fade?

I follow my high school on Instagram. Uh-oh. And there was some reason why I started because there was some connection to something. But it. You went there. I know. But I think I followed it because it was a specific event or something. And then I just saw like the stories yesterday were like, be on time.

Don't be late. And I was like, oh my God. But I like first of all, if you go to school at that school now, are you following this account? Secondly, if you see the story that says don't be late, what is what's going on? I'm unfollowing right there. Yeah. Like I think. Fuck on.

I'll be late if I'm fucking late. I would be not heating that call. What time does school start? Eight? I think it was, I think it was 805. 8.05. And then how much time do you get in between three minutes? Only three.

Well, mine was so big. The traveling period. No, we had to book it. No, we must have gotten five at least. I doubt it. You doubt that I got five. I bet my school is as big as your school. I bet I got more than five.

Let's find out how big your school was. How many kids were in your class? Hundreds. 900 in my class. Okay, my high school does not, my high school, by the way, has ceased to exist. It closed down a couple years ago. When you graduate, they were like, we don't have any purpose anymore. Yeah, we did it.

We got them out there. We got 3,000 people in our school. 3,000, dang. Mine would have been a little more than that, I think, because it was 900 per class or something. Mine was less than that by a great degree. Really? Yeah. By like how many factors?

Uh-oh. I'm all sitting down. Oh, no. So they don't have an Instagram, but there is a Bishop McDevitt High School alumni. She just shook her ice right in the mic.

The straw. It's been a long time since I've had a seven-ups. Been a long time, been a long time, been a long, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely. Time since I had a seven-up. And it was good. to take a break. Do you want to get back to this after the other side of this? No. No, you should. You should. There's nothing to get back to. We'll be right back. We need it.

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that, like you, is capable of great things. Explore the full Defender lineup at Land Rover, USA.com. And we're back, and Paul has something really important. I'm looking at the 67 members. He started shaking his hands and jumping up and down when he saw something on his phone. He started jumping up and down on the bed. Oh, yeah. My friend, thank me.

We recorded the Scots room. There are 67 people that are following the Bishop and Devon Alumni Association. I do not know any of their names. It's not enough people. If you don't have 100,000 followers, just shut down. It never count. thousand. That's not enough for...

We're including people from the future who have not gone to the school yet. Yeah. It feels nobody's really interested, I guess. But, you know, maybe that's not really the place for them to get that information. Maybe it's not.

I don't know. Okay, so I just had a doctor's appointment, and I was sitting in a small room with... We're dying, by the way. We should mention to the listener. Thankfully, I'm not. But my nose is doing the... I think I have...

Hokey-pokey. Yeah. That thing that you have... when we were supposed to go to England? No, but I, it's just I can't breathe. Okay, so, um. You also have a mouth. Yeah, I'm doing a lot of mouth breathing.

Oh, shit! Really cool. He fucking got you. I know, I have other holes to breathe out of. Oh, God. I was sitting by all these very old senior citizens. Was I there? No.

And this man, I'll just say, because I actually said it on my podcast, but I had to get an iron infusion, some. vitamins. You're like Iron Man, but. But I was next to people getting all sorts of infusions. Or the Iron Giant. Some of them were in, you know, tough situations and whatnot. But this man was talking to me at length today, which normally doesn't happen there.

I usually am able to kind of put my headphones on in because it takes a couple hours. By the way, if you're a man, don't ever talk to a woman. You know what? Agree. He was very nice. But I did learn a lot about him and he learned a lot about me. and I um but he showed me at one point a picture of him a picture it's a black and white photo from the 40s of his penis this is that we used to do it in my day it's in a frame it's all crumpled for me in a wallace

silhouette it was um a picture of a woman and three kids and he said the baby that that woman's holding is my wife and i'm next to her and i was two and a half and they were neighbors growing up. Whoa. And they recently, not recently, but at some point they uncovered this photo because what's going on? His dad, the woman's dad, so I guess this guy's father-in-law, kept this picture in his wallet during the war and had folded back the picture, the side with the boy. Because he wasn't his kid. I don't even care about this boy. If I die. And then. Fucking the crowds get me. They got, they eventually got that picture back. And they unfolded in. We're like, who's this handsome kid? How did they get the picture back?

They ripped it out of his cold deadings. Just like the NRA. What's your issue with the idea of the picture? Because I thought it was sweet. I have no issue. I think I was trying to formulate something funny to say. What if you had to date someone who lived? And it didn't happen.

What if you had to date and marry someone who lived like in, I guess, one square mile of where you grew up? I could do it. I could do it. Yeah. Yeah, back in the early 1900s or whatever, that's just what you did. Yeah, well, you couldn't travel far enough to meet other people. Yeah. My block had enough people that one of those could have worked out if I had to.

Yeah. You still got one on backup playing? How about you? I mean, my neighbors to the left of me, to the right of me, and right across the street were all one year older and they hated me and made fun of me. Wow. Oh, I see. You're saying would it be, you're saying not just. Wouldn't be prudent.

Wouldn't be prudent at this juncture. You're not, you're not saying, uh, just what if you were forced to do it. You're saying, what would you be able to? Yeah, what would the pickings be like for you? Yeah, because the people have to, they have to like you. Yeah. Well, that's a different thing. But I don't know if I could do it.

But not liking you as a kid is different than not liking you as adult. It's so true. I think I was pretty much 18 and they didn't like me then. You're like, it's only formed, too, man. Everyone I met as a child I made up my mind about there and then, and now I feel the same way. Well, I mean, that's kind of true with people from, like, elementary school or something where you're like, everyone falls into these certain categories. And it's kind of hard to get past that. If you were to just meet them now, you'd be thinking about, oh, I only know you as this annoying brat.

Yeah, I'd say you suck. You're small. You're the smallest one here. I've reconnected with some. I've reconnected with some people from my past in recent years And it's been very nice Oh very nice But there's people who are like bullies

I don't know what they're up to Well actually I do I've Googled them So you have a no bully policy when it comes to reconnecting with people I have a no followback No follow back Follow back You're not a team followback? Remember team followback

I'll never forget it You know it's so weird no follow back girl It's so weird when people have contests and say Whoever wins will have me follow them back Yeah, because then you got to follow them. And immediately muted? Yeah. What kind of prize is that?

Give away, like, a $50 gift card. They shouldn't say the part about immediately muting me. Yeah, that's true. I still have that. I'm just what I'm going to do. I still have 50 bucks to Olive Garden from Family Feud. Oh, so do. Oh, we do too.

A year ago. Yeah, yeah. We should all go. We should go get diarrhea. Hey, I'm on team Hospitaliano. What does that mean? That was one of my restaurant roundup. Do we have to go?

through restaurant roundup again? Oh my God. You worked at Olive Garden? Of course. You're not familiar with hospitality. Well, I kind of only get the same thing and it does always give me diarrhea, but I really like it. But you have diarrhea every day. That's not true anymore. I don't know if I've ever eaten at Olive Garden. Oh, we got to go with these good certificates. I remember eating at a place called Maggiano's. Yeah, I love Maggiano's growing up. It's one of those places where it's like, here's too much food. It's the quarter bakery, but it's fancy. I'm not familiar with it. the corner bakery.

Well, they were connected. They were connected at my mall. So I guess I've always thought they were the same thing, but maybe they weren't. I passed by that restaurant. I know I've talked about it on here before, the big yellow house. But I passed by the Santa Barbara one again when we were going to Santa Barbara. The big yellow house? Yeah.

So I think I brought it up because it was, we used to, it was a chain and we used to love going to it. And they would, it was all family style. It wasn't where you'd order your own thing. Is this an Orange County place? Well, there's one up in Santa Barbara. That has been closed for... Was Bugo de Beppo family style?

Yeah, Bugo de Beppo was family style. But this is the place that I think I mentioned where they would weigh you and then they would charge you by the pound. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, wait. The person? Yeah.

They'd weigh the way. They'd weigh the person? Yes. The person would do it? That's... That's so... That's so disgusting. Yeah, so they would...

So then they'd be like you gained a pound while you were here? No. They're not doing it constantly. All right. Time for weighing after you ate. But they do it when you walk in? Yeah, when you walk in or when you go to the table and then they determine how much you're going to pay for your dinner that night. That's demented. It is demented.

That's so sick. And they doubled down on it too. That's like so. They're like, we're going to weigh you and then we're going to call your weight out to the restaurant. Isn't that horrible? Yeah, it's horrible. But it was fun, like, because no one else is doing it. Well, if you're, no, I always wanted to have it done, but I was a kid.

and if you're under whatever, 12 or whatever, they wouldn't weigh you. Because not dramatic enough. Yeah. That's like, that's when they should do it. You won't be shamed. You have no idea what those numbers mean.

But I, but so I pass, anytime I go to Santa Barbara, Barbara. Come on. He's like, see, he's laser focused on you

waiting to take you down. He's been doing it to me too. To the detriment of his own comedy. It's true. It's true. So anytime I go up north, Santa Barbara. Oh.

how beautiful she is. I passed this restaurant. It still has the sign. It's been closed for 20 years at least. Why have they not demolish it with a big machine? Someone won't get off the scale. It's the old man from up. This is my gold weight.

I can't stop looking at it. But yeah, why wouldn't you like turn it into something else? It's befuddled. How about a big blue house and you could put a bear in there? Sure. That was a classic show. Now, what was the idea?

He was a vicious bear who had a house? Honestly, I was just right past the point where it made sense for me to watch that. So I just, I just couldn't. I don't know what this is. Bear in the big blue house. What? It was a Nick Jr. program. Nick Jr.

Oh, my God. So Nick was a thing and then they were like, hey, let's go younger. You know, I just. Yeah, what was on Nickelodeon? I feel like now all the programming is kids programming. I don't know. No, it was kids programming. It was always kids.

But it was Nick Jr. for like little little kids. So it was like teens who or preteens who like being slimed and stuff. Yeah, Nickelodeon was like, even younger. Very cool. You know, if you're 9, 10, 11, 12, 30, more, and 15 seconds. And then Nick Jr. is if you're that age and you have a child? No, it's for when you're, your little sibling.

It's adult programs directed at adults who have children. So it's like R-rated stuff. And then, of course, there was Nick at Night, which was the rerun. Yes, of course, the reruns. Bewitched, I dream of Jeannie. I watched... I dream of her. I dream of Jeanne.

I watched the pilot of the Dick Van Dyke show. The Dick Van Dyke Show. And then it led me to... Why did you watch that? Why? I don't know. What's your game? What's your end game?

What's going on? But it led me to the Rosemary documentary. What's that? I didn't know there was one. There is. Yes, it's very good. Who? Rosemary was a cast member of the Dick Van Dyke show.

Oh. But she was really interesting in the sense she was a child star. Wow. Who then toured the country on the vaudeville circuit and also made friends with the mafia. Moines, going, a y, y, y'i, y'i, y'ing. I need friends with them. Hey, what are you guys up to? I'm Rose Maria.

I just moved here. It was one of these things where they were like, hey, your kid, we'll take care of her. Anything ever happens, call us. And she was like, and I did. She had many husbands killed. A fascinating life, Rosemary. Sure. I remember when she would be...

You watched the whole doc? I did. You watched the whole thing. I turned it off 10 seconds before the end. We finally finished the We Are the World documentary. Oh, yeah, good one. It was great. Oh, that's about the making the song?

Yes. Yeah. It's fascinating. It is. It's really fascinating. Okay. Yeah. The Dylan part is...

It's so funny. Amazing. Because Dylan is, I'm assuming, stoned out of his mind. What's going on? Got to be. He's there the whole time. Everyone is on cocaine, I think.

It's like one of the stars of the documentary that they never mentioned. Except Al Jaro, who's drunk off his ass. Yes. They do call him out for being incredibly drunk. Yes. And to the point where he kept asking for more bottles of wine to be brought in and they would bring them in and then Lionel Ritchie would take them back out. Oh, my God. But, yeah, everyone's on Coke and Bob Dylan is there and he is not a good thing.

And no one knows why he showed up. that's the thing. It's like, Bob Dylan shouldn't be doing this. And he shows up and then he can't sing and everyone's like, okay,

what's Bob Dylan going to do? They're like, okay, Bob, because they don't do individual lines until the end of the recording. Everyone just singing together and it sounds like trash.

First they do. Because everyone's got their unique. No one wants. No, because they, Quincy Jones directed this thing and he was like, now we're just going to do this.

If you can't sing in this key, don't sing. Don't like take it down an octave. we only want the people who can sing in this range so they're doing it piece by piece

and so that all the solo parts all the solo parts were at the end yeah so they did all the solo lines and no one wants to give Bob Dylan one of these lines because he'll sing it poorly so then at the very end

they're like okay Bob what do we do with you and then they just like a Stevie Wonder imitates him at the piano going what if you did something like this because Bob Dylan's like how do I do this

how do I say to a melody. Yeah. And so Stevie Wonder just kind of goes, do this. There's a choice we make it. We're saving our own lives. And Bob Dylan's like, okay, I can do that. And then he does it. That's cool. And he's obviously super nervous about it. And then everyone applauds. And they go, yeah, that's it. And he goes, I was really surprised at this. And it was very related. He goes, that wasn't good. And everyone goes, no, that was fine. I mean, it's, it's, you did it like Bob Dylan. Yeah. What did you think you sounded like? Have you never listened to a Bob Dylan album? We should do a We Are the World style.

We should do that or you just did? Not a song. No, we did We Are the World too. Yeah, that's what I thought. Yeah, Kurt Russell was in it. He introed it. Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

We did comedians sing. First, we did comedian singing. Do they know it's Christmas to raise money for the LA Food Bank? And then the next year we did We Are the World. and Kurt Russell introed the video of it and we drove to his house and shot in his study

where his like boots were by the fireplace and everything. Wow. It was very funny. That's cool. And he was very nice. I love him. Yeah.

I love him. That's great. Did you ever see Bone Tomahawk? Yeah. It's great. That's one of the craziest movies I've ever seen. Yeah.

And only for that, what, last 20 minutes? Sure. It's like in Western. Lauren, you gotta watch it. the crazy movie I've ever seen this? Wait, why? You gotta watch it, Lauren.

Watch it with Holly. Fucking cre- Do you what the craziest movie I've ever seen is? What? Mrs. Doubtfire. Because there's that part where like he's got the, and his mask goes in the street. And then like a truck runs over it.

Oh my God, she's dying. Wait, does that happen? Could you imagine if you were dying the last thing you did and you're talking about this is Doubtfire? This is Doubtfire mask. And then there was a drive-up on the street. And then there was a drive-by, It was crazy, man.

I still can't believe that's based on a book. It is? Yes. A good book, too. Like a classic. It's based on the Bible. Yeah, thou shalt not cover it. Thou shalt not doubt fire.

What if thou? I mean, that's as crazy as any of the commandments. Great point. Thou shalt not kill. Weird. Come on. Everyone talks about thou shalt not kill. Yeah, that's a story.

of the show. It's really important. We know that one, but talk about the other nine. They're fucking weird. Dall shot not steal. Cove it thy neighbor's wife. Yeah. I'll do whatever I want with her. Sorry, it happened. Let's run him down. Thou shalt not have no other gods

before me. Yeah, that's rude. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image. Come on. That's, that one stings. I'm not going to lie. Yeah, thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain. First three very self-absorbed.

Yeah. It's all about you. Remember the Sabbath Day to keep it holy. Oh my God, another one. Another one about him. Another one. And then we're like, okay. By the way, also honor they father and mother.

That one sucks. We have to go to confession and say, I didn't honor my mother and father. By the way, number six. Number six. Oh, by the way, thou shalt not kill. Number six. That does feel like it should be kind of number one. That's number one.

Number seven. Ironically with a bullet. Thou shouts not commit adultery. Come on. Lord, just bluer knows. We all heard it. Lauren moved a few inches away from the mic. That was, ooh.

That was more mouth related. Sure. Thou shalt not steal is eight. Then, okay, thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor. Don't lie. Don't be a snitch either. Snitches get stitches. And thou shalt not.

covet. I mean, three of these are fine. Which ones? Tell Sean that, kill, steal.

You're right, only two. The other eight are just, who cares? They had to fill up the tablet. That's true. I do like the bearing of false witness against your neighbor that

there was so much of that going on in Bible times. So much God. He stole a bunch of figs. Yeah, just making shit up. Yeah. Do you think you'd be great on a jury? I've never gotten to be on a jury. I was on a jury.

I don't know if I was great at it. You know what? You said someone to be executed. You were telling me. Yeah. But they didn't count mine. I was like, oh, I thought we were voting on this. I took it very, very seriously to the point where we ended up with a hung jury.

I wasn't like the only dissenter, but we were like deadlocked. But you weren't like the Fonzie. Oh yeah What was his jury duty His jury duty thing was It was 12 angry men But he was the only one Who was like no this guy's innocent

This guy's innocent Because he knew something about car parts Or something shit He felt like he was innocent And then They were all pressuring him Come on we gotta get out of here And then finally he figured out

Something about the rearview mirror Or something On a motorbike or something Exonerated the guy And he was like yeah And then everyone was like We judged you Too hard

We thought you were a grease ball. We have to take a break. Okay. Bye. I've been wanting to make our living space feel a bit more finished. And one thing that was missing was a good end table. I found one on Wayfair. That was exactly what I didn't even know I was looking for.

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Find out more at Cadillac Canada.ca. Luxury sales claim based on SMP Global Mobility, Canadian new vehicle total registrations for calendar year 2025 for the Cadillac definition of luxury. And we're back. And we're going to play, I don't know if this is called Secret Word, but... It is now.

And by the way, this is a three-cher, if you were confused about what's happening right now. We've done this 199 times. And we're about to do it again. Yeah. This is a three-cher where we're... we play a game and we have fun doing it and if you would like to send us one so we can have fun

and therefore you can have fun listening to us having fun and we like each other while we do this. We like each other you like us and we like you. And we love the game. Write to us at 3dmUSA.gmail.com. FreedomUSA.gmail.com. It's so easy. FreedomUSA.gmail.com. Do not write to Freedom UK. Oh my God. They're so tired of getting your emails.

Mine? Yours, yeah. I'm always writing to them. Yeah. Please tell Lauren to stop sending us emails. I'm trying to reach you guys. No wonder you're never here. Okay, so we're going to play secret word.

How this works is we're going to text each other. I'm going to text Paul. Paul's going to text Lauren. Lauren's going to text me. A word. And we then are going to improvise a scene. And we're going to have to say that word in the scene. And then Lauren's going to guess what Paul's secret word was.

Paul's going to guess what mine was. And I'm going to guess what Lawrence was. So we are all texting each other and we got to try to obscure this secret word as much as we can make, you know, make it flow in normal conversation. Otherwise, the other person's going to know exactly what it is. So here we go. I am texting waiting. Thank you. Got it.

I've texted one to learn. I'm waiting for one from Scott. And I have texted Paul. You can use, by the way, any verb tense or whatever of the word. Okay. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay.

And I have received the word. All right. Here we go. Hey, everyone. Come in. Come in. Well, of course I'm going to come in. I'm here.

Hello. Come in. Come in, please. How do you do? Beautiful space. Thank you for having it. Get in here. Get in here. Please.

We're not in far enough. Oh. I'm sorry. I'm a customer here. I don't quite to know. I was just passing by. I need you inside here. Oh, my.

The door is open right now. We're losing all the air conditioning. Okay. Come in. Come in. I mean, I mean. Close this. Yes.

Can you close it behind you, please? I will close it with expediency. All right. What on earth is happening here? Let me tell you what's happening. What? We're having an incredible, incredible, incredible showcase here.

Incredible showcase. Yes. Okay, well, I'm here to get some baked... No, you're not. Not anymore. Not terrible improv. We can't get some baked goods?

No. And this is not improv. This is life. Sorry, terrible life. You have a terrible life? In improv, you're supposed to... It's not supposed to say no, but you can't say not anymore.

And also, what I mentioned, you guys didn't seem to to be all that into. The showcase of the art that was happening. Oh, art! Yeah. Oh, you didn't hear you. This isn't even a fucking bakery. I see you have a... I thought it was. No. When I saw the cream puffs in the window, profiterals and rolls, every sort of little thing. I see you have a panoply of artworks. Look, this is all art. A beautiful artist has made this.

Oh, but it's paintings of baked goods, I see. Yes. That's my confusion. Confusion you. You thought you were out of bed. Okay, I'm sorry. I apologize. There's just art work hanging of cream puffs and pretzils and croissons. Yeah, so that picture is perpendicular to the other picture. Cakes, basted about and all sorts of funny little ways.

Look, lamb bastard. Clam bastard. Clam baked. I got there naturally. Clam baked. Now, I don't need to speak extemporaneously or. And I don't mean to be here. I'm not trying to blow V8.

I'm not being coniferous when I say. Carnivorous. I'm not filibustery. Coniferous. Coneverous. Isn't that about trees? It is. I'm not being like a tree.

You're going to stay. I'm being like a woman. Okay. Well, I want to show you all of this artwork. Local artists made these. This wall is all of baked goods, obviously. But then this is just, this is a local artist who's using various things from her childhood. There's a indiscriminate you might.

say. Various items from her childhood, you have wooden blocks. Oh, I see. Oh, it's a sort of higgledy-piggledy. Is that fair to say? With undue shapes and sizes. Sir, I don't know what your deal is here. Just to pass a book.

Do you have a theris? You're not interested? Do you have aesaurus? Do you have the soros for to flip through? I'm very interested. It's your name, Mr. thesaurus or something? It's, well,

it's captured the sorrows. Once you go grab your teddy bear, grab your blankie, go home and cry to your mommy about what's going on here, okay? This is condescending and infantilizing. Because I'm trying to sell some artwork here. Okay?

If you don't have money. Has everybody gotten their word out? Maybe. I have money. I'm quite wealthy. I own several zepplins. All right, let's stop.

Everyone's got their word. I think I have a guess, but I'm sure. I'm wrong because it got so out of control. I think I wasn't paying attention to what other people were saying because I was having fun. That's what happened last time. Expediency?

No. No. Perpendicular? No. All those were to throw you off track. I know Higgled and Piggledly? No. I throw a lot of red herrings in there.

Do you know mine? You know it. I know yours. I'm supposed to guess yours. Yeah. You weren't paying attention. No, I was. Oh, what was it?

I filed it away. Oh, it was coniferous. No. Ah. I filed it away. It was profiteral. I did say, a few times.

Is that a big thing? She said it. Yeah. Okay. Good. Yeah. Okay. And what was mine, Paul?

Yours was artwork. No. No. No, I'm absolutely no idea. Mine was Blanky. Blanky. Okay. What was yours again?

Yours was? You didn't say it yet. No one has guessed. I did say it. I mean, she's supposed to guess. I know what it is. I mean, to me. You said so many big words of a certain.

point I just lost track. Blow V8. Wow, that one did stand out, but it felt pretty late in after you've done a lot of them. So good trick. Paul's trick is to do like about 10 before the real one. You've heard of Gerald's Game? This is Paul's Trick. I love Gerald's Game.

I've never heard of Gerald's Game. I've never heard of Gerald's Game. You never heard of Gerald's Game? No, what's that? Oh my God, it's the best book. It's the best book, even greater movie. What happens is you and your spouse, go away.

Your marriage is not great. And so you go to a movie and you watch this thing. Yeah. And then it's cured. So you go to a remote cabin and you decide this is the time to get into BDSM. And so you handcuff your spouse to the bedpost and then you have a heart attack on top of them. Oh, God. Then a dog eats part of you.

And then you hallucinate a gigantic man. And that turns out that guy was real. Whoa. Big spoilers for Gerald's game. Yeah. Sorry everybody. Hope you weren't watching that tonight. Who's in that?

Hope you weren't halfway through reading it. Two greats in the Mike Flanagan universe. Bruce. Did Mike Flanagan actually directed? Yeah, he did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool. Carlo Guzino.

Carlott Guggino. And Bruce Greenwood. Ah, the Mr. Usher himself. And the guy from the tall guy from Twin Peaks. The tall guy from Twin Peaks was there, the giant, as they called him. I used to know his name. Hold on. Paul, you're losing it.

T G. Remember all those great ears You knew his name? Carol Striken Was it? Yes. Okay. All right, now we go

Now we go the opposite way. Okay, so I'll text Paul. Now we go the opposite way. Now I will text. Yeah, Paul text me. I text Lauren. And Lauren, you text Paul. I have texted Lauren.

Lauren has texted Paul. Paul. I have texted. Scott. Great. We all have our words. Everybody get in here. Come on in. Get in here. Oh, good, good, good, good. I wanted to come in. Grandpa, stop. What? How dare you? You can't control us. We're all working from home. You can't just append what I'm doing. Okay, fine. I'm in the middle of typing something. What do you type? I don't care. It's a business report for my work.

that thing is like 100 pages. Yeah. You're in the middle? You have 100 more pages? Yes. What kind of report is this? It's about a lot of really intense stuff that's going on in the world. Do you need any help?

I mean, I've just been sitting around and whining to come in to see Grandpa. Yeah. Let's do what Grandpa wants. Okay. I want you all to shut up, first of all. Damn! Stop your ass. You've got your ass.

You're whining and winging and grumbles and mumbles. I'm sick of it. Now, there's going to be some. changes around here. Oh, no. Everyone has to do their fair share. It's called teamwork. That makes the dream work.

That's exactly right. All right, I'll close my laptop. Close your laptop. Ow! On your foot. Cease your computation. I happen to be walking on my hands today. Okay, I get it.

You're in the circus. Yes. It's my dream. Grandpa always wanted me to be in the circus, too. It's his dream for me. I did. I wanted you to fall. from the high wire to your death.

Grandpa. I have murderous intent. I don't know if I can keep living here with you. Why? You're just so controlling. It just feels like there's just, you call these meetings that just go on and on. They're completely interminable.

I don't know what's going to happen. Every time you call us into the room, we never know what it's about. My heart just starts beating. Can I tell you something? Yeah. What? I do it because I have a completely,

I don't really have anything you talk about. I just want to see you, kid. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I didn't just say that. I'm just a sentimental old fool. Oh, my God, I was so worried. Your jaw became totally unhinged.

Oh, my God, it's on the ground. Let me pick it up for you, Grandpa, can I? I know you don't want me to touch you, but... Put it back in my cradium. Here you go. You're getting more and more like a skeleton. What? Are you playing my ribs like a xylophone?

Stop that at once. I was so nervous. I was so nervous that you were calling us in here to tell us that you were going to like die soon or something like that. My heart is just beating a mile a minute. I probably won't die for another 70 years or so. 70. You already are 93 years old. I go and I get iron every day.

I ask young people about themselves and then they find out all about me. You're just getting iron like scrap iron. It's all in the backyard. And honestly, there's too much of it back there. Because I'm magnetized? Yeah, you're magnetized. So what? That's good.

That means my blood is rich in nutrients. Look, you're sticking to the refrigerator. I love it. Grandpa, I wanted to talk to you about something. What is it, dear? There's a stigma around you that people in the neighborhood are discussing at great length. Is it my stigmata? Yeah.

I mean, the fact that your palms start bleeding indiscriminately? No, it's not a discriminant. it's when I want it to happen. Wait, you have a stigmata of your own choosing? Yes, here we go. Ew! I can't take this. Oh my God.

I can't take this. I can't take this. My heart. What's wrong with your heart? You know I have a bad ticker. I have a bum ticker. But you're only 57 years old. I know, but I've had three heart attacks already.

I can't take these kind of power. Since we've been talking? Yes. Someone needs to call. the paramedics and they'll come in an ambulance. Okay, that felt this right. It is. If somebody's having a heart attack?

I don't have it. You know I don't own a smartphone. I know you don't own one. I'm off the grid. I know you have one somewhere. I do. I stole one. You shouldn't have coveted it. Jesus Christ. What's wrong with you?

I'm having like these weird palpitations where I can't like What's weird about them? Well, the fact that they're occurring. is bad enough. Oh, well, right. But. And what's your problem? Well, um, honestly, I'm just waiting for this meeting to end because it goes on, it's going on for so far. I'm so sorry. So long. I didn't realize

the meeting was going long. It's going how long would you say. It's interminable. I'm going to say meeting adjourned. Okay. Thank you. All right. Bye. Ask me if the meeting's happening. Is the meeting happening? Not anymore. Okay, good. I'm going to turn and go on my laptop top now. Have we all got the now? Yeah.

Okay. Is yours heart? Heart. No. So close. Is it palpitation? It's palpitation. Okay.

I said it twice. No, I thought palpitation, but then I thought that felt almost like an add on after you'd been saying heart. The first time I said it, I almost mumbled it and I felt bad. Because he also. You mumbled it, which is why I thought it wasn't it. So I was like, you can't just try to get away. I know. So I said it again.

Yeah. Was yours interminable? Yes. and was yours adjourned I know that's the perfect word to end it not bad but no no no what was yours I'm trying to remember now

the fuck was it it was grumbles grumbles what did you say though I'm sick of your grumbles and mumbles uh good stuff really good really good stuff this was fun that felt like a 200th episode banger to me

Yeah. It felt like the three true we've all been waiting for. If you didn't care for this episode, don't listen to the first $199. No, that's on you. If you're new now, it's too late. Yeah. If you're new now? Are you new now?

Hello, human. Are you new now? All right, that's going to do it for us. Yeah, thank you very much for listening to us, whether you've listened to 200 episodes or you've listened to part of one and said, this sucks. If you listen to this one and then 60 seconds in turned it off, thank you so much. We love you. We really appreciate it. Yeah, we're out here just talking nicely about you and you don't even know.

You don't even know. Like a dumb idiot. I feel sorry for you. Yeah. If you'd like to write to us, of course, freedom USA at gmail.com, as previously mentioned. And if you'd like to call us, if you want to leave us a voicemail, here's what you do. Don't use your phone. No.

Well, you could go on your phone. Yeah, but you're not using the phone for the purpose it's intended. No. You're using the phone as, as modern time. do, which is you go to a website called hagclaims8.com and leave us a voicemail. That's right. And we'll answer these voicemails on our threemium episodes, which come out on Wednesday every other week. Yes, those are little many episodes. You can hear those at CBB World and also some sort of Apple podcast thing, like a subscription to Apple Podcasts, Lemonada, I don't know.

Maybe someone in your house listens to it real loud. You could hear it that way. That'd be a great way to do it for free. Maybe if you're passing by like a podcast shop, they'll be playing it. In the window. You could be hiding in here. Yeah. For all we know. That honestly would be the scariest thing I can imagine.

Yeah. That's the scary thing you can imagine. That's it. That's the only thing. Just one person hiding. If they were in your cabinet here and they'd been listening to every episode. I don't have that happen now. What if it was a monster?

That's not scarier? No. Just a person because a person can have ill intent. Yeah. A monster just is. Yeah. And you can run away from it. So a monster would tear you limb from limb, but he's not doing it maliciously.

Oh, a fast monster, Paul. What? A fast monster? We're talking slow monsters. Yeah, my monster could be slow. It's going to tear you limb from limb? Yeah, nobody says it has to be fast. How fast are you?

How fast are you? How fast are you when you run? When I run, probably 80 miles an hour. Whoa. That's really slow. Yeah, yeah. That's so slow. You're right.

I'm not a fast runner, but tearing limb from limb, I do it real slow. Yeah. Real slow. And by the way, you only have four limbs, so it's not like it takes a lot of time. Well, it can take a long time if you go one by one, one a day, one every two days. Plus vitamins. What's vitamins? What's vitamins?

What's vitamins? Also, we have three visiting on the twos, which is we re-release our old episodes out from behind the paywall on two days. No one asked us to do this. No. It's our gift to you. Yeah. No, there was absolutely no call for it. Nobody was like, when will you guys release them?

When will the three visiting on the twos start? It didn't happen. It didn't happen. Never happened. It was fabricated. No. A group of writers wrote that one. It was made up.

It was a false flag. It's my favorite. It's my favorite thing ever. I want to memorize it in order. I know. Yeah, you really honestly show. What is it? It's the meme.

Jonathan Frakes. Where he's like. Beyond belief, fact or fiction. Exactly. And he just is, they just made a compilation of all the times he says something's not real. Oh, that. Yeah.

Yeah. Like a, you know. They got three good compilations out of that because they got the nose. They got the yeses. And then they got the questions that he asked the beginning. That one was real. Have you ever ridden a bike up a volcano? That really happened.

It's true. You got tricked. It happened. You did it. This was about you. I like it when it's like when you tell your parents something bad that happened to your child and they're like, that didn't happen. A group of writers wrote that one.

Oh, that's right. I sent one to you. That's so funny. It's so good. So I do know what it is because I sent one to you. Yeah. All right. We have to go.

What a reveal. We got to go, but we'll see you next week. Yeah. Right here. We're not going to anywhere. That's right. We're going to break off a brand new hundo. We're not flipping the table over after 200 saying that's it.

We're done. No, we have a whole new episode next week. Yep. We are going to flip over the table, right? Okay, good. They won't see that. We break all of the equipment every single episode. We do.

That never happened. It happened off Mike. All right, bye. Have you ever watched someone you love struggle with something really hard and had no idea how to help them? I'm Stephanie Whittleswax, and I certainly have. My show, Last Day, started with a question I've been asking myself. Ever since I lost my brother Harris to a heroin overdose, what could I have done differently?

That's what my new book is all about. It's called Last Day, How to Stop Losing Our Loved Ones, to the opioid crisis. I'm going to read you a little preview. I hope you enjoy it. We hear about the opioid crisis so often that we've become desensitized to it. It's a headline, a political pawn, a collection of tally marks that stand where our loved ones should be. Overdose deaths in the United States can be broken into three phases. Doctor prescribed oxycontin, starting in the 1990s, heroin taking hold in 2010, and fentanyl, which surfaced in the 2013 and spread like wildfire in 2016. The Sacklers, who owned the pharmaceutical company that developed,

produced, and aggressively marketed OxyContin may have lit the match, but our broken system allowed it to burn. Since 1999, this preventable tragedy has claimed more than 800,000 lives. My little brother was one of them. Thanks for listening. Get your copy of of Last Day at bit.ly slash last day book or wherever books or audiobooks are sold.