Threedom - Threevisiting: Cradle the Nose, Work the Ears

Episode Date: March 18, 2025

Threevisiting on the Tues: Scott, Paul & Lauren discuss a Walk of Fame ceremony and TV shows they watched as kids before playing Anchors Away. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Listen ad-free and unlock bi-weekly THREEMIUMS on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, Georgia. Hi, David. What do you think the world needs more of? Well, the world always needs more podcasts. Didn't you used to have a podcast? Not only did I used to have a podcast, Georgia. It's coming back! David Tennant does a podcast with.

Season 3 is coming at ya! Okay, and who are your guests? Who are my guests? What about Russell T. Davis? What about Jamila Jamil? What about Stanley the Tooch Toochie? So it's really just you hanging out with your mates then? Yeah.

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Love ya. Freedom! Heh heh heh heh. Heh heh heh heh. Heh heh heh heh. Freedom! That worked. That sounded beautiful.

Freedom! Freedom! Oh. Ah! I've got puberty. I've got puberty. Oh no. I've got puberty. I can't go in today. I got puberty. I'm sick with puberty. Tell the boss. We call that with puberty. So we're short headed today. I can't come in.

I've got the pubes. Welcome to Freedom. Thanks. I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass.

I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. I'm going to be a little bit ofberty. Tell the boss. We call that with puberty, so we're shorthanded today. I can't come in, I've got the pubes. Welcome to Freedom.

Thank you, Scott. Hi, my name is Lauren Lapkus. Hi, my name is Paul Ev Tompkins. My name is Scott Vockerman. Wow, what's your real name, Victor? V for victory. What if you... Oh, Lauren, you sounded like the sound that people sometimes put on a video on Instagram or TikTok

where it's like maybe it'll be like a dog jumping or a baby falling over or whatever. And the noises, and it's like, weee. You know the one I'm talking about? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a good one. No, and not to be a fucking idiot, but where do they find these sounds and how do they reuse them?

Who are these? I never tried. I want to. For the record, I've never tried. I only ever want to see the originals. One time I asked about one, about, oh, look at him, very distinguished gentleman that people use a lot.

And I was like, where did that come from? And then somebody said it came from this. And it was video. But not only do I wonder where it came from, but I wonder how did they find the audio? How did they get that sound and use it for their own purposes? Like, you know what I mean? Like it's like, I'm sure they're searching it,

but then it's like, how are you searching it? Like, are you saying, that kind of thing. I want to go wee? Are you searching that? Yeah, I mean, maybe I should just try to get into TikTok and reels and like see what I can make. I feel like I could be really cool. This is like an un TikTok and Reels and, like, see what I can make. I feel like I could be really cool.

This is like an untapped resource for you, Lauren. I really think that you need to get into it. Absolutely. So much good stuff could be happening if I got on there. Speaking of which, I'm now on Cameo. You fucking are? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you in your goddamn mind?

What happened, Paul? I'm going to do it the way that I told you that I wanted to do it. So no one can trick me into white supremacy stuff. And how much money have you made, my man? How much you charge? Well, I OK. Truth be told, by the time people are hearing this, I'm on it as of right now.

The second. Oh, I'm not on it yet. And here's what I love. Here's what I love. It's happening. How much are you No, I'm not on it yet. So I'm at zero dollars. Here's what I love. It's happening. How much are you charging? I'm starting at $50. I love that. I think you could go higher, but I'll let that be. We're gonna start at 50 and see.

By the way, Janie is spending the money already. She is convinced this is going to be a cash cow for us. And I'm like, you gotta lower your expectations. What is she buying? Is she buying like a new lawnmower or something? She bought a fur coat. Here's what I'm gonna say. Here's what I'm gonna say to all our listeners.

If you have $50 that you would spend without noticing it, you need to get the cameo from Paul right now. You know what, I agree. If you aren't doing that well, the $50 is, you're not gonna feel that at all, buy three. How about that? Did I have $50? No, you're not gonna feel that at all. Buy three, how about that? Did I have $50? No, I guess not. Yeah.

Do it. Do it. Yeah, that sounds amazing. And you are donating. It does, doesn't it? You're donating all the proceeds to charity, you were telling me before the show. That's right, well.

Is the charity called Chase Bank? Everything after $150,000 goes directly to charity. So we just got to have everything. Everything! Just got to hit that base amount of 150 grand. Yes. Paul, I don't think we should even say that. That's to cover my logistics.

Yeah. Paul, you should say- Travel, lodging. Everything over 150K per year, you'll donate to charity. Yes, exactly. If I exceed, every year that I exceed. Per month. Per month, which 12 of them is a year. So in a way, everybody's right.

And that's what I'm going to do. Yeah, I love that. But yes, if you like cameo for me, all I'm going to do is whatever I want to do. I think that's a great idea. I'm just going to like RIF and it'll be fun. And it's like, get it for somebody that maybe won't like it. I love it.

I think people who think you're great, which is everyone who knows of you will want this. So- Knows of you, not the people who know you. Knows of me. Oh no. A lot of those people are divided. I wouldn't expect people who know you to buy your cameo.

I hope not. That would be weird. You know? What if I bought a cameo from you? No, Scott. What if I bought one? Should we both buy one? Don't. I'll give you them for free. No, no, I want to buy it.

I want to buy it. You're my friend. I want cameo to get a cut. We'll see. Hopefully, this is not going to be something that I absolutely wish I hadn't done. You can bail whenever you want. Yeah, you can always just bail.

It's true, it's true. No, no, it'll be great, it'll be great. What if I just did one and then bailed? That sounds fun. One for Janie. You do one, it's up on the site and you're no longer active. You know what you should do is you should do the Scorsese role where you do one for them,

one for you. One for them, one for me, yes. Suddenly you have a ton of cameos for yourself. Yes, I send them to myself, I pay for them. I sort of don't like how they show examples on your page because I feel like a lot of people do kind of the same thing over and over again, which is totally fine. It's like, what are you expecting to do? Write a whole new thing every time.

But I feel like if you watch the sample, you feel like you got it. Yeah, but it doesn't have your you got it. Yeah, that's- But it doesn't have your name on it. Yeah, but it's like- You know what I mean? I do get one cameo sent to me. It's like once my special comes out,

that whole hour is burned, you know? That's exactly what it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Once that cameo is seen by a stranger, it might as well have gone to them. I remember so many comedians in the early days of Twitter were like, I'm not gonna give jokes away for free.

Yeah. I'm like, yeah, yeah, you are. And you are. They are doing it. And you're gonna get a lot of fights on there. I remember showing one very active Twitter comedian how to sign up for Twitter. And they were very much in that thing of like,

no, I just don't, I see how this will work. I mean, I'm not gonna do these jokes for free. And then I froze again, didn't I? Can we talk, and Scott's frozen again, which is gonna be a disaster. But he has a look of anguish on his face, which is making it kind of fun. Kevin's telling me to turn off my video. So I'm going to do that.

Okay, go dark. Go dark. Okay. Zero dark 30 with Scott Elkerman. Paul, I want to hear about your day to day and Scott, can you hear us? Yeah, I can hear. Okay, great.

So you're not frozen. So this is going great. So Paul, I want to hear about your day. So you're not frozen. So this is going great. So Paul, I wanna hear about your day because you had a very exciting day because you met someone that I idolize. Yes, I had. You have a new girlfriend? What?

Yeah, Lauren idolizes, yes. I met Lauren's hero and she's my new girlfriend. Jenny doesn't hear this. I was invited to Mr. Bob Odenkirk's Hollywood Walk of Fame ceremony where Bob got a star of the Walk of Fame. Which is- That's so crazy, because I've seen these now.

They post these on like people Instagram and like you'll see them on Entertainment Tonight, like a star getting their star. And I always think it's so cute, but I never really thought about there being an audience that's like people who were invited as opposed to, I always pictured just being whoever's on the street, kind of just gathering around.

Yeah, because it's like the person's friends, you don't know who they are, you know what I mean? Or their family, especially if it's like an older person, then it's like, I don't know, your grandkids, your fucking fossil. But Bob invited, it was weirdly like a wedding for one person. In that wedding. Is this a nice thing?

You're being, being invisible. Not being able to see you and you surprise. Made it in stealth assassin. Just piping in from another dimension. It's like a surprise. Made it in front of a stealth assassin. Yeah, exactly. Just piping in from another dimension. By the way, Billy Idol doesn't get a lot of credit for how he talks about what a nice day it is. And you know, Billy Eilish doesn't get enough credit just as a person.

We need to bow down, okay? Why won't they collab? Is Billy Idol alive? Yes. Yes. Barely, but still. I don't fucking know. Too much so.

I paid that witch to put a curse on him and he's still walking around. So Bob invited me to this and it was people from all different parts of his life. You know, it was really wild. People from his life. Look at him, he got it. Bid People from his life. And so I was there, David Cross was there, the cast of Better Call Saul, they were all there.

Vince Gilligan, he was there. Peter Gould, the co-creator. The only other people from Mr. Show that were there, were invited apparently, were Bill Odenkirk, who got COVID and couldn't come, and John Ennis, who got COVID and couldn't come. Aw, sad. Now, why was my hero there?

Well, I'll tell you, no one knows. Are you serious? One of the people at this thing, well, I mean, someone knows, but we did not. We were not told. Um, one of the people there was fucking Carol Burnett. And who was that? Someone was fucking her. I didn't even want to make the joke, but it was sitting there. I'm sad. I'm sorry. I couldn't, I'm sad, I'm sorry I made a joke. But for real, a guy was fucking her. And it was weird. I did not know they knew each other.

And then David Cross got there and you know, we were talking for a little bit and he said, did you see Carol Burnett is here? And I said, yeah. And he goes, I didn't know they knew each other. And I thought he would surely know how they knew each other, but he did not. I think they are working on something together, but-

Right now? Yeah, as we speak. Oh, they went home and just- During our show? They're not listening? Here's my theory is that they are practicing Islands in the Stream together. And they're gonna do an Instagram

where they sing Islands in the Stream. I would too, I would too. To hear Bob sing Islands in the Stream would be wonderful. So good. Islands in the Stream! What if they're doing a competing freedom style podcast together with one other person, with Mike Ermentrout.

And we never know when he's gone because we can't see if he froze. He literally is like having a ghost in the house. It's like sometimes it's like, what happened? What year is it? Yes, honey, go ahead. So tell me how the day played out. Did you hear him?

I heard him for like two seconds and then he... It's such a disaster. Yes, honey, go ahead. You can't- So, tell me how the day played out. Did you hear him? What'd he say? I heard him for like two seconds and then he- It's such a disaster. We have to do it on Zoom, everyone, because A, I just got over Cove, and B, I'm shooting something this week and my schedule does not allow for anything else.

Yeah. So we have to do this at night and it's just a little much. And I have chronic halitosis, which I will not do anything about. Even when we're outside, I'm like, whoa, buddy. Oh yeah, I really push it when we're outside, I'm like, hey, let's play a three jar.

I have a little fan that I put right under my mouth. So there's a video of the Hollywood Walk of Fame ceremony. I want to know, tell us a little bit in case we don't feel like watching that. I had never been to one of these things before and I was excited to go and I thought this is such a weird thing. Bob, it's like, of course he deserves this kind of recognition for his work and the way, you know, you essentially, you submit to the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce and the, you know, the city council or whatever. Right. Okay. Because that's how I was wondering. I know that you have to pay $10,000 for your star. It's not given to you. However, it's a that's how I was wondering. I know that you have to pay $10,000 for your star.

It's not given to you, however, it's a great honor, so anyone would pretty much do it at that point. And not everybody, you can't just pay $10,000, you automatically get one. No, no, you have to apply, get approved, and then you pay, yeah. So, you know, but it's not like, Bob is not the most Hollywood of people,

you know what I mean? So it was like a weird thing. And he recognized that too. And so it's all these, we're all gathered around on little folding chairs. And there's a red carpeted dais where there's a podium and a mic and people speak. First, people get up from the Chamber of commerce and they say their whatever. And by the way, were you tested for COVID or was that just a coincidence? No.

Because it was all outdoors. Wow. It was all outdoors. But they had two people had COVID and they couldn't come. Yes, but I think they tested either that day or sometime before. Just coincidentally they happened to pass because they maybe felt sick.

Exactly, exactly. So when it starts, you know that the ceremony is about to start because this music starts playing and it is the classic old song, Hooray for Hollywood, and it plays for, I wanna say nine seconds. And then it's- What? I thought you were gonna say a long time.

That's crazy. Yes, I thought it would play so that it would get your attention and then it would keep playing until everybody was like focused. They absolutely should. It's like, let's have a moment. Let's use the song and have a good time. It plays up until the initial hooray for Hollywood.

And then it sort of starts, the chorus starts again and then they just like faded out abruptly. That is so crazy. I wanna praise this. It really made me laugh. This event. I gotta come back. Okay, great. Do you have a different computer? out abruptly. That is so crazy. I want to praise this. It really made me laugh. This event. Okay great, do you have a different computer? Yeah, I switched computers, but this one, I don't know guys. You just took one off the pile? Yeah. Have you been having fun without me? Well, he's just been explaining. It hasn't been fun at all, but he's been explaining

how the Hollywood star ceremony goes. Yeah, you've missed very little. You have to pay like 30 grand for it, right? Oh, I thought it was 10,000. Oh, I think it's... I heard it was $500. Okay, I'm looking for something. I heard it's 10 cameos. Oh, it's $55,000. I was way off.

Dang. Now that makes more sense, to be honest. 10,000 did seem low given how few areas of the sidewalk are left. That's usually why, like with, in Bob's case, I think why it's happening when Better Salt Call, Better Salt Call comes out. Oh shit, that's the episode title.

Because Bob doesn't wanna pay for it himself, obviously. So, but AMC uses it as promotion, you know? The show pays. Yeah, yeah. Yes, they ask, can we submit it as promotion. Oh, the show pays? Yeah, yeah. Yes, they ask, can we submit you for this? Are you okay with that? And he's like, girl! Oh, well, I love that.

Yeah, but that's why I think Weird Al didn't get his for a long time because a label isn't gonna pay for it or anything. But like, they're all the money. And neither is Al. If you're rich as,'re riches. Croesus. I was gonna say that, but I don't know what I mean by that. Someone has said that and I don't know what I mean.

He's a Greek person or a God, maybe Croesus. Right. And he was very rich. Oh, Zach Galifianakis said it, I think in between two friends, hold on. Rich as Croesus, yeah. Croesus, what is that? I wrote it, but.

Oh, you don't know? It's, he's a, yeah, he's a dude. I'm looking at now, Croesus was the king of Lydia who reigned from 855 BC until his defeat by the Persian king Cyrus the Great in 547 or 546 BC. Croesus was renowned for his wealth. Well, now don't make fun of him. I'm making fun of how they wrote this thing

and they're saying, he was defeated in like 547 or 546 BC. It's like. Did you see like, you don't fucking know. Did you see that Twitter thread that the Dilbert guy did? Oh my God, what's his deal? You know, I'm sure it's a poor, but I loved, I loved Dilbert. What's the deal with Dilbert? No, he's got a problem, right?

What's the Dilb? But I loved that comic when I was in like fifth grade. I went through that big Dilbert phase. What did you love about it? I just thought it was fantastic. I don't know what. Because his tie went up and went stay down. Doesn't it have to do something to do with like him

being at work, something that you like didn't relate to at all? The whole thing, I think, I don't know why, I just thought he was, I thought the work was great. When I was a kid, I loved The Lockhorn. Yeah. Oh, I just understood that name. Right? They didn't like each other. Makes sense.

Wait, oh, so Dilbert said... Let's just call him Dilbert. Dilbert said? Wait, what? And I know Bob Odenkirk. Dilbert got on Twitter. I call Bob Dilbert. He is kind of a Dilbert type. So Dilbert gets on stage and he's like... There's a lot of similarities between Bob and Dilbert. He is kind of a Dilbert type. So Dilbert gets on stage and he's like.

There's a lot of similarities between Bob and Dilbert. Like if they did a live action Dilbert, Bob might get the call. I love that. You know who Dilbert is, Drew Carey. It's like Dilbert's designed after Drew Carey. Gotta be. Yeah.

100%. But Dilbert made this thread where he was talking about, it was just like listing, it was like a list of numbers of like the number of times I've done this, the number of times this happened to me, the number of things this, blah, blah, blah, blah, which is like this weird list out of nowhere.

And one of the ones was number of times $50,000 has been stolen from me, five to seven. I'm sorry. How? What's going on? But really what? Like one time would be mortifying. Dilbert, get it together. Five times, atrocious, but then it was either,

it was either five, six or seven, I'm not sure. When $50,000 was stolen from me. Yeah. Dilbert's a real idiot. Someone needs to handle his finances. Handle... That was the problem. Dilbert, get your finances handled

and buy a cameo from me. That's a good way to invest, actually. When you buy a cameo, it appreciates in value, so everyone should buy. They're not fungible. Did I ever tell you about the cameo I've received as a gift? No.

It's of Matt Roloff from Little People, Big World. And my friend Jimmy Fowley bought it for me and Mike. Cause we love that show. Sure. And it was fantastic. And Matt talks at length and also try, Jimmy made him try to convince us to get on cameo. So he spends a lot of the cameo

talking about why cameo is great. Well, that's nice. It's fantastic. And how often do you watch it again? Never, and I don't know where it is. I don't know where it is. I don't know how to access it. I don't know where it went.

I'd probably have to ask Jimmy to send it again. I bet it's in the cloud. I'm sure it's in some cloud. So, so yeah, so everybody's gathered around the side of this little dais, and some seats are better than others, right? Like the people that are like the VIPs are, are directly in front of the thing, but they're still looking at a profile view of Bob because he is facing this

bank of cameras, video cameras and still cameras, and you know, kind of giving this his, everyone's talking to them, right? Yeah. So Ray Sehorn from Better Call Saul got up. She did a very lovely and heartfelt sort of tribute to Bob and working with him and what a what a, what a wonderful, uh, colleague and friend that he is to her. Then, uh, David Cross was introduced. He was very funny.

Uh, of course he was shitting all over the whole thing. Oh my God. But it was, but it was funny. Like he really made me laugh. Um, and then, uh, then there was like just a ton of pictures being taken with various combinations of people. And the whole time, all I'm thinking about is I want to get a picture with Carol Burnett. This is not a thing that I ever do with people that I admire. And there's so few people that I would do this with.

And I'm like, I got to do it, but I'm so scared to do it because it's just like, I don't want to bother her. And you know, I've, I've, I've, everyone's saying everyone that has met her that's around there is like, no, no, no, she's, she's totally, she's so nice about it. She's great and everything. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I understand that intellectually, but I can't make myself understand emotionally. And so, um, I wanted to take a picture of the star by itself, but there was like a

little, uh, reception afterwards and Carol Burnett started to leave and I was like, Oh, I got to, am I going to do it? And I like, I am, I'm literally like starting and stopping myself, like walking forward and then stopping. Cause I know, cause it's like, well now she's leaving. She doesn't want to be bothered. She wants to get the fuck out of here. And so, um, somebody, somebody asks, like, do you think want to be bothered. She wants to get the fuck out of here. Right. And so somebody asked,

like, do you think she'll be at the luncheon? And they said, oh yeah, I'm pretty sure that's where she's headed now. So I was like, okay, so I have a second chance. I'll come back and take a picture of the star because we parked right near it. We'll walk to the luncheon and then we'll come back. So we walked to the luncheon.

Somehow everybody gets there before us. It takes us so long to walk there that people have been there for a while. Carol Burnett is there. I'm like, okay, I'm not gonna run right up to her and everything. And it's also, it's a very heady experience for me because there's all these people that I have been watching

and admiring on television that are at this thing and they're just hanging out. And I'm like, I don't want to go near anybody. I don't want to strike up a conversation. People could not have been nicer. Everyone was very friendly and you know. And so, so finally, like Carol is again on her way out and it was Ray Sehorn who like stopped her

cause she met her before I had dinner with her and everything. She was like, oh Carol, I wanna, and like she looked up, like Ray Sehorn looked over at me like, hey, we're gonna, this has to happen. Yeah. That's nice.

Yeah. And so this bothered me a little bit. I hand my phone to Janie and she's gonna take the picture. I get next to Carol. We're like standing there. Then the professional photographer of the event comes says, here, I got you guys. And then he's like, move back into the shade a little bit, you know,

because it's too bright and all that. So we move back. And now, so Janey has just these pictures of us looking off in the distance because this guy stepped in and got us full on. And I'm like, I don't know. I guess I'll, I'll find the watermarked version online. But I, there was then there was a picture. You might be in like a, it might be on like a breakdown Hollywood reporter of like, who was in attendance?

That's maybe, yeah. But I did, But there was another picture where there were other people in the photo, they were out of frame, they were like off to the side just enough that I was able to crop them out and post the picture that I posted on Instagram. And she was so nice and charming and funny. And it was an extremely exciting moment for me. Yeah.

That's so great. Mary did a pilot with her like probably five years ago and I was at the taping of that, which was so fun. I auditioned for that pilot. I never wanted anything so bad as that. I know, it was really fun and she was so hilarious. Like when she walked on stage in the show and she was being so funny, it was like, I got chills.

Like it was just like so awesome. Who was like, it was like, I got chills. Like it was just like, so awesome. So when Mary did, yeah. And I was just so proud of her. Um, no, but when, when, when Carol, like she comes down this staircase and she's being funny and it was just like, Oh, I can't believe I'm in the same room as this person. It's like, did she have like the drapes from Gone With The Wind? She might as well. You know, in my memory she does.. I know she didn't, but it's what it was. And it was just great. Do you think in Better Call Saul,

they'll include the take where Bob had the heart attack and just like, you'll see just for a second, like him clutch his heart and then it like, edits to the next thing. That would be, if somebody, there's this thing on YouTube called Star Trek intakes where this, this guy takes bloopers from Star Trek and he puts them in the scenes that they were in. So the scene, the scene plays like normal with one person just doing a crazy thing.

And then the scene continues like normal. It's really, really funny. And if they did that with Barry Halls, Hall work like all of a sudden Jimmy falls on the floor and then the scene just keeps going. But now this is my second time seeing Carol Burnett in person. The first time I did not get to speak to her,

but it was when she was a guest on Watch What Happens Live on the Bravo network. Because I had a friend who was producer for that show and you know they have a secret little tiny like 10 person audience at that show yeah that's off camera. I was a guest at it once. Yeah so you saw those folks and so I was I was invited to be in there because my friend knew how much Carol Burnett meant to me and so I was there much Carol Burnett meant to me. And so I was there watching the interview. Do you remember when Andy Cohen's dumb fucking dog snapped at her face? Yes, it was a big thing.

Carol Burnett's face? Yes! Her face? This dumb ass dog tried to take her face off. He has since rehomed the dog. Yeah, no kidding. Because the dog had a number of things like that. And then he, Andy had a child and then it was, you know. Andy had a child. Yeah.

So he's like, oh, I'll just have this instead. Let's get rid of this dangerous monster. And his son bites. Oh no, you can't rehome the kids if there's not a reason. Remember when his son tried to bite Carol Burnett's face off? His son did that, yeah. His son did that. His son did that.

His son did that. His son did that. Just got the DNA ourselves back. His son is 100% that bitch. Well, that's a really fun day. That's very exciting. It was a fun day. It was very strange and surreal in a lot of ways. And I got to meet

Giancarlo Esposito and we talked about, like Bob prompted him to talk about, is it called the best worst thing, the documentary about the Sondheim musical, Merrily We Roll Along? Oh, yeah. Oh, man. It's absolutely worth watching. Wait, he's in that? Yeah. Yes. Him, Jason Alexander. It's like, it's wild. Back in like 1980 or whatever?

Yeah. Before they were stars. Wow. About this very ambitious and strange Sondheim musical that was... It's told backwards. Every scene. It's like... Like memento. Or like betrayal.

Exactly. Or betrayed. Or betrayed with a little memento mixed in. Betrayal, but yeah. And so is it... Oh, you have a bit of betrayal. ...the documentary made recently, or it's an old documentary? The documentary is also backwards,

which is very hard to watch. Sounds hard, yeah. Yeah. It starts with the words, the end? Um, it's a pretty recent documentary, but there's a ton of archival footage Yeah. It starts with the words, the end? It's a pretty recent documentary, but there's a ton of archival footage and photographs, and they interview the people and it's really absolutely worth watching. Because as Scott was saying, it starts from the point of view of these characters as middle-aged

people, older people, looking back at their lives. And so they de-age throughout the show. And it ends with them as like bright youths who have optimism and all this kind of stuff. Yeah. Oh wow. It's a great idea, but like to have the same people do it, it's kind of, I think about this a lot when I see actors

in old age makeup, like young actors. Like J. Edgar Hoover. Yeah, exactly actors in old age makeup, like young actors. Like J. Edgar Hoover. Yeah, exactly. But I'm like, this is us? Oh my God, is it going to end with them being babies again? I've never seen, I don't know. What if it ends with their parents having sex?

I watch every single episode. Never seen it. And you cry and cry and cry? You know, every once in a while they'll get a tear out of my old eye. They'll squeeze a tear out of that onion of an eyeball you have. Yeah. And you say, this is as you got me. I'm really looking forward to seeing how they wrap it up.

There's only five episodes left. Oh my God. Lauren, you must be so excited. You know about the Merrily We Roll Along movie, right? That they're making. I don't know about this. No, tell me about this. Well, it's Richard Linklater and he's gonna film it over the next 20 years with...

What is the wrong with this guy? This is his fucking thing? That's his thing now, but it's with what's-her-name, God, all I can think of is Beanie Seagal, who's a rapper. Beanie Feldstein? Yeah, Beanie Feldstein and one other person. And so they're... Feldstein and one other person. And so they're, they're shooting it backwards.

Um, so when they're young, they're going to shoot the end and then they're going backwards and all that. But it sounds cool. It's so much to ask somebody that's in their twenties to put on a bunch of slop on their face and then act like, Oh, is this my life? That's Mandy Moore's job for the last six years. And it is, it is fascinating. She just was posting about how she just had the last day of old age makeup and she had done it 45 times

this season alone. This season? Oof. No, it seems like a pain in the ass. I did it once on the Bang Bang TV show and it was a three and a half hour process, I think. And then an hour to take it off. That's so tedious.

I mean, yeah. I just can't imagine being like on Star Trek and having to do it every single day. Yeah, man. I don't, I, that is like, when you, you sign up to be a series regular, who's a weird space monster and you're saying, well, okay, I will be at work every day at 4 a.m. and everyone else will arrive three hours later. If you're lucky, you get like a weird nose and that's it. Just a weird nose ridge, absolutely.

Yeah, like what's her name on Deep Space Nine? A nanovisitor. I loved when you could tell that every like fourth episode, like Voyager, when they're just constantly encountering new aliens, and then every fourth episode, they're like, this guy's just got a weird nose. We don't have a budget anymore.

We can't make a whole fish man. This guy just has a weird nose in that thing. But it's always the nose. It's never just like the ears. Sometimes it's the ears. Well, it's Spock is just the ears. And the eyebrows. Yeah, just the ears.

When you're in bed, do you ever say just the ears? Yeah. I say cradle the nose, work the ears. When you're in bed, do you ever say just the ears? Yeah. I say cradle the nose, work the ears. Did I tell you when I tried to put that into a script that we hope Sylvester Stallone was going to do? Yes, you did. Wait, what? Yes, you did. You did what?

Do you know that story about cradle the... No. Never mind. Wait, can I hear it? Come on, you gotta tell it to this little pig. She wants to hear it. Well, it's a famous Hollywood lore that some sound man picked up Sylvester Stallone's audio

during a break. His mic, he still had a hot mic, and he was getting a blowjob in his trailer. And it was like, cradle the bulls. I can't even do it. Work the shaft. And then, wait, what were you gonna write? Cradle the bulls, work the shaft.

Work the shaft. So we were writing him this part in Shark Tale 2, and we had him as a fish, like, going down. No. A shaft or something. So we were trying to slip. But so you're one of those perverts, like, when they make those Disney...

They say there's like a hidden sex in the clouds and like Aladdin and stuff. You're basically that. You're like, here, for sure, I'm gonna try to get a shaft and balls reference in here. We never thought he would do it. It's more innocent than what Disney people do. I think it's all sick, but I...

Well, you know, it's funny because it's like, it's a hilarious quote, but it also, it reminds me just of this one sex tip I read in Cosmo when I was the teenager. The teenager? I did say that, but I didn't mean to. I was a teenager and it was like a list of like, 15 ways to like make him hot or whatever the fuck. I did say that, but I didn't mean to. I was a teenager and it was like a list of like 15 lanes

to like make him hot or whatever the fuck. 50? Well, I don't know. Well, you'll see how... I'd settle for two. Oh, shit. You can tell there were 50 because one of them was literally this. Cradle his balls like a baby bird.

Yeah. Like a baby bird? I don't even think that would be, I mean, realistically, I don't even think. Here's what I think is like two hands. That's what I think of when I think cradling a bird. Like a sick bird that you find on the pavement. I knew I never forgot that. It's the only one I remembered, but yeah.

I would say Brandy Snifter. It's the only one I remembered, but yeah. I would say Brandy Snifters. I would say Brandy Snifters. That's the metaphor. Well, I don't think a lot of teens know about what that is. But they do know about baby birds. They should write an article first of how to types of Snifters that they should buy. Cranking his balls like a baby bird. Yeah, isn't that sick?

It's beautiful advice. Did you take a break yet by the way? bird. Yeah, isn't that sick? It's beautiful advice. Did you take a break yet, by the way? No. No, did you? No, yeah, I took many breaks. That's true. So your cumulative breaks lead us to our one break. Yep. All right, bye bye.

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Introducing the special pod. Baby bird. I'd like to introduce you to an audio clip that's very dear to me. Okay, we're back, we're back. This is so, guys, this is so sick. I found the fucking Cosmo article. And this is...

So sit back, relax, make some popcorn and enjoy. I have to, I have to. This could be your own bike. Sit back and relax. That's exactly what I did. Maybe I read this. I don and relax. That's exactly what I did. Maybe I read this. I don't know if this came out when I-

You can bring instructions to watch this and enjoy it. This is sick. Anyway, number 23. Wait, what year? It says 2010, but I do think I read it. 2010? But this is when it's online. I'm like, I definitely read it in print

and I don't know that I would have been, maybe I would have been reading it in 2010, but I don't think so. I mean, I read magazines, so it's possible. But I wasn't 30 in 2010. Oh my God, I'm still laughing at Sylvester Sloan introducing things. In 2010. Introducing the clip.

It's like famous people like, hello, I'm Kelsey Grammer. Do you remember that time I fell off the stage? Oh my God, have you seen that one where they mashed up with Big Bird? They mashed up with Big Bird falling off the stage. There's this clip of Big Bird falling off a stage in some sort of performance,

like on a children's play or something. And then like they mashed it up with Kelsey Grammer's audio of him falling off the stage and it's so funny. What if Stallone did like, Tom Bergeron style narration over it? It's like... Can I just read you this? What it actually says. Oh, hey.

I bet you got something to say. Look at him. Oh my God, this is so fucking sick. I'm actually like, disturbed by this. Okay, give us some tips. Give us tips. This is like the Gen X Brain Breakers. Number 23 is hold my balls the way you'd hold a baby bird.

A little baby bird. Oh, this comes from men. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is men saying, here's how you get me hot. 30 sex tricks. Or is this just one guy saying things that he likes? 30 sex tricks to try this summer. Poke me in the eye with your thumb.

Make Nookie more exciting by trying these passion pointers straight from the men. We guarantee neither of you would mind the intense heat from these moves. Neither of you would mind it. One of them is blow on my nipples. Treating my balls so delicately, it's making me hot. Oh my god.

Blow on his nipples are like nothing happens. Nothing happens. Oh my god, I can't read any more of these. Nothing happens. Oh my God. I can't read anymore of these. They're too hot to handle. So you read one to us and that's it? Yeah, that's the only one you can handle. How about this?

Grab my butt with both. Grab my butt with what? With gusto? I can't read it in the first person. Say it. Oh, because there'll be a drop? Yeah. I'm gonna say grab his butt with both hands when you're giving him oral. Hmm.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Instead of the one hand that you normally do. I just think like. Just end yourself. I just feel like if you have to read this and you're using the idea, like just, you shouldn't. Just don't do it. Don't do it and just figure out.

Try kissing on the lips. Ha ha ha ha. I'm stressed out. Oh no, why? From reading it. I kissing on the lips. I'm stressed out. Oh, no! Why? Why? Just the idea of teens and everything. So you read all of them when you were younger. No, I know I did.

How many did you, have you like absorbed through osmosis? I've used them all. You rocked them all. When you were reading it, were you like, oh, boy, this is some hot stuff? Oh, hotchi-match boy, this is some hot stuff? Oh, hotchi, machi, hotchi, machi. I have to go to mass.

I need to pray. You've got to pray. Pray. You got to pray just to make it to date. What's he up to? Should we have him as a guest? MC Hammer? Yeah.

He appeared in some commercial, I think, fairly recently. We can, yes, where it was like, remember me, kind of? Yeah, it's like, I mean, go for it, man. Get the money, because he bankrupt. You can touch that. Wasn't he bankrupt in him bankrupting commercials?

He was bankrupt, yes. That was rough. I don't really know what bankrupt means, because it doesn't mean you don't have any money, right? I think it means different things for different people. Yeah, it's basically if you file for bankruptcy protection, that means that you're- Like I have every day.

Your money is frozen and people can't come get it from you. Then they have to work it out for you. A creditor will work out like, okay, will you pay this, you know, this amount of cents on the dollar to us back? But they can't actually like legally get it from you. I see. It's frozen and they put a sticker of Elsa on it.

Yeah. So that everyone knows. And everyone let it go. These money's frozen. Let it go, let it go. Would you like to buy a snowman? I can't. I can't, I it go, let it go. Would you like to buy a snowman? I can't. I can't, I'm bankrupt.

I'm bankrupt. Okay, here's the deal. If Paige Davis ever guests on the show, then MC Hammer can be a guest. How about that? I think that's fair. I feel like- That's fair. That's more than fair.

The order goes Paige Davis, MC Hammer, Mary Holland. No! And you can't skip anyone. Hold on a second. We have sworn that she will never be a guest on this show. But Paul, what I'm saying is, there's no fucking way we get MC Hammer on this show. If we get Paige Davis, we'll get MC Hammer.

Yeah. It's a package deal. Once Hammer hears that Paige did the show. Yeah, everything will start to come together. Yeah, that makes deal. Once Hammer hears that Paige did the show. Yeah, everything will start to come together. Yeah, that makes sense. You're right. You're right, you're right. It's too risky.

I can't put me on the list. That's like some real monkey's paw stuff. Yeah, you're right. I shouldn't put her on. I'm taking her on. I'm taking her off, I sure deserve it. Mary Holler's not on the show. Ba da da da da.

Ba da da da da da da da da. Ba da da da da da da. La la la la la la. We really hit a wall. So do you. Is it tough not seeing me? La la la la. It is. It isn't helping, it isn't helping.

Because there are a lot of like facial cues of like, okay I'm gonna talk now. Wrap it up, wrap it up. Scott makes his eyes go real big sometimes and you're like, Scott, Scott, what happened? Sometimes he makes a big frowning face, like Scott, Scott, what's wrong? Oh no.

All right, this is Sylvester Stallone. Hey everybody. Hey, this is Sylvester Stallone. Will you grab my balls with your hand and stroke the shaft? South familiar, that was me. Instead of... Instead of Sylvester Stallone.

Instead of Devilish Man. Instead is a very old ice cream. Who said I'm demolition man? This is still so old. If you don't grab on my cock and balls with both hands and pull like your life depends on it. Hey, you want to baby bird me? Alright. Creepy. Hold my balls like a little baby bird. Grab my balls with both hands. You're giving me a whirl. My balls are a little baby bird that fell out of the nest. And if you touch me, my mommy won't take me back.

So just hover your hands right under them so I know they're coming. Hey, why don't you chew up some food and spit them on my balls? Hey, why don't you chew up my dick like a little baby bird? Chew up my dick like a little baby bird? My balls are currently in a nest. What do you think? Put my balls in a little hammock and let them swing.

Let me paint a picture for you. You're walking down the street, you hear a little peep peep peep you look down. It's my balls Pick them up. You say what's wrong? Sly this is just the intro come on Pick up my balls and hold them up at a normal height so pull them way above my dick pull them up to my chest Standing up squeeze the water Pull him up to my chest. Normal height. And hold him like a little baby. Get an eye dropper. Or over who? Get an eye dropper. Normal like you're standing up. Squeeze some water on my balls.

Squeeze a water, get a little dropper and squeeze the water on my balls. Take my balls to your class to show it to you. Let it flow down like a little dew drop on a flower that a bee's about to suck. Jesus Christ. Why is that the worst part? That a bee's about to suck.

Suck. Ah. Ah. Woo. Suck my dick like a little bee getting the pollen out of a little flower. Well, I hope you enjoyed my clip. If I ever have a hot mic again, I'm going to blow job.

You know where to find me. I'll be back. I got a hot. My mic's still hot. Now I'm going to go take a dump. Let's, hey, toilet, cradle my shit like a little baby bird. I gotta hop. My mic's still hot. Now I'm going to go take a dump. Hey toilet, cradle my shit like a little baby bug. Hey toilet.

Hey toilet. It's like the serie of toilet. Hey toilet. Toilet open. Cradle my shit. Toilet, receive my shit. Cradle my shit. Toilet, flush it away.

Cradle my shit. God, even if that. Cradle my shit, I sure deserve it. Even if that was a videotape that he put out that was only five minutes long, I'd still buy it. The clip itself is what, ten seconds? Yeah. At the most?

And then he just... That'd be fantastic. Intro, outro. He booked Henson with two and a half minutes. If you put that audio clip over Big Bird falling off a stage. No, no, please don't do that. Leave Big Bird out of it. No, no, put it over Kelsey Grammer falling off.

Yes. Grateful the balls, Kelsey. Yes, queen. And he falls down. Smashes his balls. I mean, as funny as it is, that must have fucking hurt so bad. Of course it did, plus you're not expecting a fall. It's like the worst thing that could happen

when you're on stage. How did it happen? It's so strange. He basically walked off it in a weird way, like into like a little pit. Yeah, he had a spotlight on him, couldn't see shit. So Niles wasn't there to help him. And there was that dog. Eddie. Moose. Eddieiles wasn't there to help him. I mean, there was that dog.

Eddie. Moose. Eddie, Eddie, played by Moose. I almost said Winston. I don't know that. Who Winston? He checked in. Oh no, that's Dunstan. That was Dunstan.

Dunstan checked in, but Winston, similar to Wishbone, a very famous dog who could travel to time. Oh, was that Wishbone's deal? He was a time traveler? Yeah, he'd be like, here, why don't we go back to Shakespeare's time? And now I'm Shakespeare and I'm a dog. What, he'd be the famous people?

Yeah. That I did not know. I have to say, I always flipped the channel when Wishbone came out because it was after Arthur and Arthur was a little more high brow. Wishbone was a little too, yeah, a little too babyish.

Well, you were reading Cosmo. What was Arthur's whole deal? Arthur was a fantastic character. He's an aardvark. Actually, he recently, they recently wrapped up Arthur and they had them, they showed all the characters as 20-somethings. What?

Well, how old are they on the show? I have to watch that, because I heard they were going to cry. I won't make you cry. Yeah, they were all hot. It was, I think they were like eight years old on the show. Eight years old. Were show. Euphoria. Were they of legal age to, you know.

They were like eight years old and they were. I loved that show and I was a little, it was so comforting. Hey, awesome, creative balls out there. But I loved Arthur and they also had this segment called A Word From Us Kids where they would go to a school and like to see some kids and they would do some sort of activity and show you about it.

And there was one that's very memorable, which always comes to mind where these kids were drawing different sorts of heroes or something. And one person drew Pele the soccer player. And then they said, Pele, Pele scores great goals. But there's no second part of a rhyme? There was definitely other stuff that happened, but I don't remember anything besides that. And I bet you anyone who knows what I'm talking about

will only remember that part. There was also this one where they go to a school for the blind and these kids show how they baked cookies. And I always remember that they would tap the, they would hit the baking sheet with a spoon to see where there was space to put the dough. Oh, cool. I hate the baking sheet with a spoon to see where there was space to put the dough. Oh. Here's the baking sheet with a spoon.

I wonder if the chocolate, were the chocolate chips like in Braille? Yeah, and then let's call that the recipe. Were the chocolate chips like in Braille? Yeah. Scott, I've never been more disappointed in you. Why? I think it would be a good idea. I've never been disappointed

that you haven't patented something. This is a chocolate chip cookie. It would say the whole thing. Have either of you guys ever heard of a show called Hodge Podge Lodge? No, no, I'm curious. Is it a home makeover show? No, it was ostensibly a kid show. And it was this fucking old lady who lived in the Hodgepodge

Lodge. She was not like a character person. She was just an old lady who did crafts. And she would show you some crafts. And it was so. Oh, nice. I know. I wish.

I got to look for it on YouTube, because at the time, it enraged me. Because as a so, I know, I wish, I gotta look for it on YouTube because at the time it enraged me because as a kid I want to be entertained. This was not entertaining. I know. It was boring as shit. And was that kind of thing where this is supposed to be for me, I think.

I think this is supposed to be aimed at me, but I'm not enjoying it. Well, the worst was when frugal gourmet would come on. Ugh. It's like, if you're gonna be like, I'm out. I might leave it on if I have money else on. PBS was such a minefield

because you would see something that was great and then all of a sudden there's the frugal gourmet. I know, can you believe it? That guy really got to do whatever the fuck he wanted. Well, until he was caught by the police. No, what did he do? What did he do? I can't, I cannot. Why is everyone caught by the police. No, what did he do? What did he do? I can't, I cannot, why is everyone caught by the police?

He sexually, he sexually harassed underage boys. I think it was like people that worked on the show. What the hell? He was like a predator. He was a predator. Oh my God, well he died in 2004. Thank God. Thank God.

Jeff something, right? Jeff Smith. I bet his Thank God. Jeff something, right? Jeff Smith. Ugh. I bet his real name was Jeff Predator. This is not coming up one of the first things about him. He settled in. Oh, a sex scandal ruined his career. That's in his obituaries.

Six people, oh geez. Six people alleged, oh my gosh. Ah boy, you just. Well, you know what? I knew, I got a bad feeling when I saw him. That's why you had turned it off, right? I was always like, ooh, I got the heebie-jeebies. But what about the cooking Cajun, Justin Wilson?

I guarantee. From the Big Easy? Oh my god, wait guys, and he also molested a hitchhiker. I can't with this fucking guy. Rest in hell. Hey, you know what you were frugal with? Your fucking morals, you piece of shit. I know. Rest in piss.

Ride the devil's dick till dawn. Hey, cradle the devil's balls. Cradle those balls. Work the devil's shaft. And let the devil's shaft work its way into your... Throat, anus, whatever. Eyes. Let's take a break.

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp and Lauren, I have a question for you. Yeah. Will you think about your favorite leaders, mentors and idols? Yes. Thank you. You know, they don't all have the answers, do they? But they know when to ask questions or seek support from their community, right? Well yeah, we live in a society that glorifies hyperindependence.

It's easy to forget that we're all better when we have a support system behind us. I gotta tell you, therapy can be a source of support for any area of your life. It's time to shift the focus from doing it all to knowing that we're better when we ask for help. Yeah, starting therapy was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I had some big issues I needed to talk about with somebody who wasn't one of my friends over and over and over again. It was nice to get a unbiased opinion. Hey, what are you guys doing? Oh, we're just talking about therapy.

Well, I- Wait, are you really? Yeah. Because better help makes finding a therapist easy. It's fully online and gives you access to a diverse network of more than 30,000 credential therapists with a wide range of specialties. Plus you can easily switch therapists at any time with no extra cost. Hey Lauren, build your support system with BetterHelp.

Visit BetterHelp.com slash threedom to get 10% off your first month. That's better help. H E L P dot com slash freedom. Are you not talking to me? Yeah, you too, Paul. Hi, I'm Emily Deschanel. And I'm Carla Gallo, and we're here to bring you Boneheads. The official Bones rewatch podcast. That's right. We're watching all the episodes of Bones starting with episode one and we are

the right people to do it. I play Dr. Temperance Brennan, and I met Carla 16 years ago on set. I played Dezzy Wick. Tune in every Wednesday to hear all our behind the scenes stories, conversations with cast and crew, and our favorite moments. Boneheads from Lemonada Media is out

wherever you get your podcasts. ["Bones and I Like It"] And we're back. And I like it. We're going to attempt a three-cher here on shitty internet. Um, this one is called press junket submitted by KP Thomas. Press junket. I wonder if, by the way, you should call it, you should call it shitternet. Shitternet. Lauren, you've cracked it. I wonder if it's kitchen patrol Thomas.

I've cracked the clothes. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I wonder if- By the way, you should call it Shitternet. Shitternet. Lauren, you've cracked it. I wonder if it's Kitchen Patrol Thomas. KP Duties. I've got Kitchen Patrol? His name is KP Duties, the person who submitted this? Is he Kitchen Patrol?

KP Thomas. KP Duties. I'm KP Duties. And I'm here to introduce Sylvester Stallone for his video tape. Let the duty fall in the toilet. Hello toilet. Hey toilet. The man who got hit with a brick. Okay, so this is called. Wait, no, no, no, no. This isn't the one I wanted to do.

Oh, Jesus. Boo! KP Thomas, you're out. This is Anchors Away. This is the first one when I looked earlier. Okay, this is submitted by Sean. One name. Wow.

Exciting. How is it spelled? S-H-A-W-N. Okay, that's what I thought for some reason. Interesting. That's what I pictured in my head. Are you Sean? Yeah. Okay, so.

Try to please put my future. This is Anchors Away. This is, three of us play two head anchors on a news show. And then the third is an on the scene reporter during the same broadcast. The head anchor or one of the anchors and the on the scene reporter during the same broadcast. The head anchor or one of the anchors and the on the scene reporter team up and are aware of something bad. The co anchor did and they continually hint at the issue seamlessly while doing the broadcast.

The topic is agreed upon. We're going to text each other before it starts. And the other anchor tries to guess what the two are hinting at. I look, I love every variation of the same game. I know. And this one's no different. I can't wait to play it. So where's Scott?

Scott, where, where do you want to be? Great. Great. Great. I'll be whatever since I don't have a camera. What is, what is, so you should be the. On the scene? Yeah.

Okay. And then which one do you wanna be, Paul, the co-anchor or the head anchor? Are you tricking or being tricked? I'll be tricked. Okay. Okay, so I'm the head anchor and Scott and I will work together.

We'll text each other what you did and we're gonna work on getting that out to you ASAP. ASAP. Paul, just hold on to your hat. And in other news, all of the puppies are free now so they're running around the park and they will be available for adoption if any of them make it back to the park. Great stuff, really good to hear that. We go now with a story, following up on a story we were talking about earlier. There was a big fire at one of the big buildings downtown and we have a reporter down there right now. Mitch Carando, Mitch Carando down there on the scene. What can you tell us about the fire? Mitch the bitch. What's going on buddy?

Hi guys. I really wish you wouldn't call me that. I've asked you several, several times to please. Okay, I hear you, I hear you. Especially on air. But it's in good fun, and I feel like you're asking us not to do it also in good fun, so we're gonna continue doing it. I now have people on the street coming up to me, calling me bitch.

Da-da-dee-da-day. They're not even calling me Mitch the bitch, they're just calling me Bitch the Mitch. That might just be what they're calling you. I don't think, I think it's from you. So bitch, what can you tell us about the fire? All right, well, the fire, as you can see, it's still blazing behind me.

It's been going on for now 72 hours. Only one building, they can't seem to get it out. They've run out of water. And it's a restaurant. And of course, you know restaurants very well. You do, you really do, buddy. Well, you know cooking. Yeah, I mean, you're familiar with what happens in them. So, let's just, we can't, uh,

we can't see who you're looking at. It would help if you use our names. We're talking about you. What are your names again? We've never discussed this. Um, well, obviously, my co-anchor here is Rilf. Rilf. Oh, okay. Rilf, Rilf the Dilf.

That's right. I'm a dad you would like to fuck. (*Rilf and Rilf laugh*) According to the poll that we took over Labor Day weekend and thank you to everyone who voted, me a dad that you would like to fuck. Wait, do you call me a bitch because of a poll that people voted on? Yeah.

Sure. And obviously my name is Runt. Runt, Rilf and Runt. Why have we never talked about your names? I've worked here for 10 years. Well, we're not the news. We report the news and we don't like any part of the story. It doesn't really matter who the mouthpiece is.

Now, can we just get back, speaking of mouthpiece, Rilf, you love to eat, but you don't love to speak. I love to eat, but I don't love to speak. You like to read the benefits, right? You don't speak, yeah, You like to read the benefits, right? Well, I mean, when it's important, you don't speak. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. You hold your tongue, but then when you want something, you lap it up.

Yeah, you certainly do. A lot like some of the bystanders here who are refusing to talk about who set the fire. Yeah. Right, bitch. Have the fire department released the names of any suspects to any cause of the fire? Well, I mean, I don't know why you would be so concerned about that, Rilf, because aren't you used to just kind of turning your back to that kind of thing?

Now, bitch, when we talk about that, what we mean by that is, and of course, I'm just clicking on the same page as you, that Rilf is somebody who doesn't really stand up for what's right. Yeah, he doesn't. I beg your pardon? What did you say? Yeah, what did you say? He don't really stand up for what's right. Yeah, he- I beg your pardon, what did you say? Yeah, what did you say?

You don't really stand up for what's right. And I mean, you know- I mean, it's not like you care about people taking personal responsibility. So why do you care if they found a suspect or not? Okay, well, it is part of the news and it sounds like you're accusing me of something and something to do with food and restaurants

and eating, not speaking, not standing up for someone. And I think it's that someone, I saw someone be slapped at a restaurant and I didn't say anything. Well, I'll tell you, Rolf, this was one of the few restaurants that catered to a poorer clientele, people who were very concerned with how they spent their money. Penny Pinchers. Penny Pinchers. I don't know of another way to say this, but with their money, they certainly- They were thoughtful about how they spent it.

About how they spent it, yeah. And unfortunately, this place is now gone. I actually think Google was named after this word. I mean, it certainly rhymes with it, but in any case- What? Well, because Google is a free search engine and and the word that rhymes there is a cheap way to be. Yeah, that's true.

But in real... You're saying frugal. Frugal is the word? Yeah, well, yeah, you're saying it is what really matters. So you're saying, I believe if I'm correct, and we'll get back to the fire in just a minute, bitch, but what you're saying is that I'm cheapskate. Well, you're saying you certainly interacted with one quite a lot, one of your good friends,

very famously frugal. Yeah, very famously frugal and also, you know, was a restaurateur of sorts. And a creep ass. Yeah. You might be talking about my friend, Jeff Smith, if I'm not much mistaken. And of course I have, I have detailed our relationship and how I didn't know, uh,

what he was doing at the time. And, uh, that's why I never said anything. Yeah. It looks like that fire bitch has gone down completely behind you because the building is gone. Yeah. It actually just burnt out just while we were talking. Cause the building is gone.

The building's totally gone. And all the people are gone and everything's gone. So that was really, um, horrible reporting on your part, bitch. And I was not paying attention. Sorry. Yeah, I do hope that the firemen weren't just listening to us and they were trying to put the fire out, but maybe they were pretty distracted by me because I was waving to them like, hey, I need to talk to you during this whole thing.

Right, right, right, right. Well, Mitch, the bitch, thank you for that report. It's a shame it wasn't more informational, but that is the news game. Anyway, I am selling copies of signed recipe books from Jeff Smith, the frugal gourmet. At a discounted price. I was selling them for- And to be clear, these are recipe books.

These are not cookbooks. These are just recipe books. They're recipe books. Recipes for what? They will not teach you how to cook anything. They're just, they're actually, to be strictly fair, they're recipe books. They're recipe books. Recipes for what? They will not teach you how to cook anything. They're just, they're actually, to be strictly fair, they're ingredient books. These are just lists of the ingredients

that are in certain dishes. So it's basically a dictionary, but only the food words. That's exactly right. And they're in alphabetical order. And there's no amounts listed, no unit measurement. It is strictly just all the food words from the it's a it's a glossary dickly strictly dickly dickly dickly which is what i've nicknamed jeff smith the frugal gourmet strictly dickly yet

okay i do i do about it i do about all of our whole we do it you're a bad person this is my final broadcast and runs i was a little pleasure has been serving by your side and mitch the bitch always a pleasure to see you standing in front of a building that burned down I love you real I love you too I love you both yeah I've never said I love you guys too yeah and I've never said that at all to anyone do you think I could have your job are you able to name your successor or because I'm tired of being out here in the cold. I think because I am disgraced, I don't think they're going to let me name my successor.

Yeah. I think being disgraced is a part of, is a problem for that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't know, it might be up to runt here.

Yeah. Runt. Do you, I mean, do I have a shot or? Um, replacing him? Yeah. Him. Yeah. I have a few other people in my mind.

Who are you? I'm looking good for Mitch the Bitch. There's this cool guy named Sly, who has a lot of stuff going on with his bones. Somebody say, what is it? Welcome to the news. I was in the next studio over. If you heard about the weather, it's still going to rain,

and here's a guy to tell you all about it. He's the Rain Man. Yeah. The Rain Man. That's what he calls the weather. Yeah, so I'm thinking him. All right. about it. He's a rain man. Yeah. The rain man. That's what he calls the weather. Yeah, so I'm picking him. All right. Well.

I'm going to quit. Okay. Well, I'm going to stay because I now finally going to break the glass ceiling and I'm just curious what it feels like. And on behalf of myself, Runt, Mitch the bitch, and all of us here at the WPVX family. I really wish you wouldn't speak for me. Good night, and don't forget to be a tattletale. All right, fun game.

That was fun. Good feature. Good feature. Thanks for that. Sorry, Sean, this one was great. Sean did great, sorry, KP. We didn't get to that. Oh, it was KP. Sean was the one who did good.

KP did poorly. Yeah, sorry, KP. Constantly poorly. That's what KP stands for. Wow, spelled wrong. That's great. Yeah, even that. I know.

Even that was poorly done. I love it. I love it so much. And I love it. Oh, I want to squeeze it. I love it so much. I love it so much. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Put my balls in squeeze it. I love it so much. I love it so much. I love it so much. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do.

Put my balls in your mouth like you're a pelican. All right. Sickenating. This is it. We had fun, guys. What a wonderful, weird episode we just had. It was really a weird episode, and I hope everyone loved it,

and I really hope you all get a cameo from Paul now. I hope you do too. I hope you do too. Listen, we're Freedom USA, and we're gonna be doing a lot of stuff It was a really weird episode and I hope everyone loved it and I really hope you all get a cameo from Paul now. I hope you do too. I hope you do too. Listen, we're Freedom USA on Twitter and Instagram.

We are freedomusa.gmail.com. We have a phone number. Don't know what it is. Nope, we know. We refuse to look it up. Maybe somebody could put it in the chat. I don't think it exists yet. No, we recorded an outgoing message. Yeah, in anticipation of it.

They're slow to set it up. We made that a priority to record an outgoing message for a number we don't have? Still in the works, Kevin says. Still in the works. Well, hey everybody, I guess, you know, just keep an ear out for that phone number news. It's still in the works.

I'm sure if you follow us. I mean, you know how hard it is to get a phone number. Have you ever tried to get one? Here's why it's taking so long. We're paying for new numbers to be made. Invented, yeah. Yeah, because, okay, so you've heard of zero, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.

We're trying to get 10 and 11 and 12 put on the phones. Oh, well, yeah. See, I know we're trying to get 10 and 11 and 12 put on the phones. Oh, well, yeah. See, I know we're trying to get 10, 11 and 12 put onto the phone number. I also know we're trying to get Florvin and Blim. Yeah. Do you know, how about that fucking, remember Selino Barnes?

And now, Selino's dead. And now it's just, the Barnes firm, injury attorneys, die 1,88 188 million. Wow, that's sad. I didn't know that Florence is gone or whoever you're talking about.

No more Salino. Salino. No more cilantro. I'm really sorry. No more cilantro ever. He got shot in the fucking head by Michael Corleone. All right, goodbye. All right. Goodbye. All right. Too long.

Bye. Bye. Hey, everybody. That includes me. And me. Thanks for listening to this week's episode. If you want more of me, Paul and Lauren, and I know you do, you should join us over on Lemonada Premium on Apple Podcasts. That's what it is.

Where subscribers get exclusive access to our 3Mium episodes. In each 3Mium episode, we take your calls and listen to your voicemails and we answer them. You can send your emails to freedomusa.gmail.com, send your voicemail to hadclaims8.com, and listen to your questions. Be answered by your pretzel gang on Lemonada Premium. Subscribe to Lemonada Premium today by clicking on our podcast logo and Apple Podcast app and then clicking the subscribe button.

Who's this guy? I don't know, but I like him. Sir? Sir, could you please? I think he's a little crab. Hey, Paul. Sorry about that. Who was that guy?

Someone took your place for a minute. Yeah. That little crab. And we liked him better. Why did that crab do that? Hi, everyone. Gloria Riviera here, and we are back for another season of No One Is Coming to Save Us, a podcast about America's childcare crisis.

This season, we're delving deep into five critical issues facing our country through the lens of child care. Poverty, mental health, housing, climate change, and the public school system. By exploring these connections we aim to highlight that child care is not an isolated issue but one that influences all facets of American life. Season four of No One is Coming to Save Us is out now wherever you get your podcasts.