Threedom - Threevisiting: Crumbelievable

Episode Date: November 19, 2024

Threevisiting on the Tues: Scott, Paul & Lauren discuss disgusting band names, making friends with dogs and NOT Roommate Reminiscence before playing Henrietta. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Listen ad-free and unlock bi-weekly THREEMIUMS on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. This month, I'm focusing on the people who always show up for me, but I'm also reminding myself to show some gratitude inward. Taking care of our own mental health is a powerful way to do that, and BetterHelp makes it easier to prioritize yourself. Therapy gives you a chance to slow down and connect with someone who can help you gain clarity and build coping skills. Reaching out for support isn't a weakness. It's a way to invest in your own well-being. Let the gratitude flow with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash freedom today to get 10 percent off your first month. That's better H-E-L-P dot com slash freedom.

Your favorite game is back with all new outrageous situations that will keep everyone laughing. That's what she said. Second edition from Moose Games is sure to spice up any gathering from your next girls night out and bachelorette weekends to birthday parties and even friends giving. Elevate your next get together with That's What She Said Second Edition.

You can find it at target.com and Amazon. Freedom! What were you saying? I said Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. I wanted everyone to follow Jesus. What if we had a church and we were like, da da da da da da da da da Jesus! What if we all became religious

we would be the most popular religious people? Yes! If we did it, for sure we'd be the most popular. Oh man. Cause we'd shoot to the top of the charts right away. Yeah! To the top of the religious charts! To the top of the religion charts! Hi everybody! The number one in religion on Apple

podcasts, Threedome. What do you think is the ranking of religions right now? Who's on top? Uh, it would have to be... God. Beep, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, gonna wait. There's gotta be a ranking somewhere. What the fuck, why would I say? You jumped right in. Guys, suits is pajamas. Okay, now this is something you said. Suit's a TV show?

Pajamas with the characters from suits. Suit's a TV show. Yes. It's now called pajamas. Wait, but Miaghan Markle, she's on there. A suit. The other suits people. A suit with the characters from suits on it,

that would be next level shit. It would be next level, it'd be so meta. And they're wearing suits, right? Or they're filing lawsuits, I never saw the show. They're doing both. They do both on the show! Why it's called suits. I think so.

So it's they wear suits and they file suits. They wear suits, they file suits. They wear suits, they file suits. And they swim in suits for sure. Why wasn't it called toots? Why wasn't it called magoots? Toots magoots. Why wasn't it called toots? Why wasn't it called magoots? Toots magoots. Why wasn't it called roots?

Because it was already taken. Why wasn't it called zoot suit riot? Throw a black bottle of beer. Zoot, zoot riot. What do you think? Throw a cone through your cold black hair. What do you think about the cherry poppin' daddies, Paul? Wow, they love to pop cherries.

That's fucking disgusting. They're popping their progenies. Here's the thing, their progenies. It's something that I didn't think about much at the time. No, it was just like three random... Cherry popping progenies. We're the children of the cherry popping daddies. We had our cherries pop by then.

Eww! That's what it's implying. Do you know what that means, Scott, when you say that? Yes. But that's their band name. It's not me. Do you know what that means when you're saying that? So cherry popping is figurative, but daddy's is literal.

I think all three are literal. Well then what's the big deal? Daddy's can pop cherries. Eww! The fruit, Lauren. So you well then what's the big deal the daddies can pop cherries Fruit Lauren the fruit well that certainly wasn't clear this is what I'm saying Yes, and you know what zoot suit riot even means yes, no what it's really really rude Okay, I mean they were I was intrigued and they dance That's what I'm guessing that's what I thought it was is like hey't know what it means. Oh, okay. I mean, they wear Zoot suits and they dance. That's what I'm guessing. Yeah, that's what I thought it was,

is like, hey, this party is gonna be so. I think there actually was something called the Zoot Zoot riot, where people- Did Cherry Poppin' Daddies even do that song? Did Cherry Poppin' Daddies even do that song? Did Cherry Poppin' Daddies even do that song? Did Cherry Poppin' Daddies even do that song? Do do do do do do do do do.

I remember at the time thinking the name was just dumb. And then for whatever reason, it's suddenly like, I was like, that can't do that. Yeah. Zoot Zoot riot meaning Google go. Zoot Zoot riots occurred from five days in June in 1943. Oh, so it's historical. Riots were a series of riots in Los Angeles, California, which pitted American servicemen stationed in Southern California against young Latino and Mexican American city residents. Oh no. I don't like this.

Well that's the target. No. The target was Mexican Americans and other Zoot Suit wearers. Oh. Victims 500 plus arrested, injured 150 plus. So maybe the song is about from their point of view. I was just going to say, let's look at the lyrics too. Well now, yeah, right.

I always assume the lyrics were just- By the white band, Cherry Poppin' Daddies. That's what I'm saying, I feel like it's getting weird. Zoots? Zoots are my good. So wait, they have that name, Cherry Poppin' Daddies, and they're not on the right side of history? Here, who's that whispering in the trees? It's two sailors and they're on leave.

Pipes and chains and swinging hands. Who's your daddy? Yes I am Fat cat came to play by the way is it the cherry-puppet daddy's we don't know Now you can't run fast enough you'd best stay away when the pushers come to shove zoot-zoot riot throw back a bottle of beer Put a comb pull a comb through your coal black hair throw back a bottle of beer Okay, whose side are they on here? A whipped up jitterbug and brown eyed man, a stray cat frontin' up an eight piece band, cut me Sammy and you'll understand in my veins hot music ran. I'm getting lost.

This is terrible. If you're one of the 55 members of Cherry Poppin' Daddies, contact us. Oh you. Contact us and we can say fuck you. I don't think this is good. I don't think it's good. It seems like they're on the wrong side of the Zutu riots.

And so to Cherry Poppin' Daddies. But it's a good song. But no one's ever known what it's about. No one has ever known. Has anyone out there who's listening to this podcast, A, known what that song is? Cause he might be, as we've, look, by the way. Hey, you know what?

And you know what else? And also. I will say, did you know what that song was about? And secondly, a few episodes ago, we jokingly ingest asked if anyone who listens to our show is younger than me. And people are commenting, I think I'm younger than you, I'm 30.

We know you're younger than me. I'm not that young. Wait, you're saying everyone is younger than you? All of our listeners. I'm saying all of our listeners are younger than me or older than you. Who's our oldest? So there's no one in between.

Okay, we know our youngest listener is six. That's right. But we need to know who our oldest listener is. I feel like somebody, we asked this before maybe. But there can be no one older than you that's younger than me? What? In that in between?

Is this like a... Of those two years that... There can be no one older than you that's younger than me. Okay, Rumble Stiltskin. Who am I? I'm in a tree. Is this like a... Of those two years that... There can be no one older than you that's younger than me. Okay, Rumble Stiltskin. Who am I? I'm in a tree.

I'm a cherry poppin' daddy. I'm so so riot. Riot! Could you look your child in the face and say, I was in a band, we had a very popular song, we were called the Cherry Poppin' Nuddies. Yeah, that's fucking disgusting. That sounds like a fun sketch. Doesn't it look like a fun sketch? A fun fun sketch? Yeah, your sketch was really good that you

What was it dad what dad what was it that cherry poppin daddy's are you're gonna pop my what daddy Did they ever It's daddy? Did they ever, what are you taking? It's literal, Paul. It's a bad step. The daddy part is literal. The daddy part is literal, but the cherry, if you take the meaning of cherry popping to mean what,

I mean, that is the meaning of cherry popping. But why wouldn't you take daddy in the meaning of cherry popping? Because, no, but- Are you leaving? It's not, yeah, good God. That's all I needed to say. Screech. It's not cherry popping fathers. Because- Are you leaving? It's not- Yeah, good God. That's all you just said. Screech.

It's not cherry poppin' fathers. We gotta move on. I don't wanna talk about these freaks anymore. This is the most anyone's talked about them. I don't want to talk about it anymore. I love the 90s. Yeah. What band, what ska band do you wanna talk about?

I don't need to talk about a ska band. Okay, what about Pearl Nut Zippers? Oh, love those guys. In the afterlife. a girl not zippers? Oh, okay. Love those guys. In the afterlife. You will be ready for the serious life. Now you'll make the scene all day. About tomorrow, there'll be hell to pay. Ba-ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da We did it. That was really good. That was really good. That was really good. Memo, when you sang that song? It wasn't me.

I had my friend David sing that song. Wow, my memory put you in it. Wait, where was this? This was at my birthday party. Oh, I was there. Which you sang. Oh yeah, I did. It was getting all ready.

I had- By the way, I was so out of breath within two minutes and that song is seven minutes long. It's a long song. That is a long song. So wait wait someone else sang it, huh? Hell by the squirrel no zippers I had very I had various friends sing at my 50th birthday party at a full band and people sang songs that were Connected to various points of my life as I reflected back.

And so what did that song stand for? When he was dead. That was like, when I- That's significant. Yeah, that's a future song. I will be in hell. That was when I, like around the time that I moved to Los Angeles was when swingers happened

and that revival was happening. Swing nothing was so cool for a second. Well, we were, I mean, all that was happening right there on Franklin, on Vermont. People would go to the Derby. The Dresden. And the Dresden, Martin and Dean. And did you guys swing dance ever?

I think I went one week. Did you dress in the style? I sorta did. In fact, I had a girlfriend who like, well, first of all, I remember going up at the Laugh Factory and Aisha Tyler was the host and my friend and I did our bit and she was like, wow, that was like swingers from hell.

And I was like, hmm, I don't know. She's great though. Did you do something to Mon? She probably just saw you and then thought swingers. Then she's like, how can I make this about swingers? Yeah, but then I also started dating a girl and this is just because I wore a suit. She did not end up being a roommate.

I will not be singing the theme song reality reminiscence. Thank you so much. Or roommate reminiscence. But she is no longer with us if you have a theme song for that. In memoriam? Sure. Oh yeah.

It's so hard to say goodbye. Before we go to our next segment, we must remember the people who have gone before. who have gone before. It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday. That we haven't previously mentioned on the podcast. Well, I'm sorry, your ex-girlfriend died. But she, when she- Do you have any dead ex-boyfriends? Scott and I both have dead ex-girlfriends.

No, but, no, I don't. Not yet. Not that I know of. I will not be speaking on the matter. You killed them? Oh shit. But when she saw me, I think she remarked to her friend like, wow, it's like swingers. And it was like, I was kind of like, I'm just wearing a suit.

At that, yeah, that was a time when I used to get that a lot too. Yeah. But you know, you're doing the thing that was popular. And in the nineties, you didn't have the internet to really go look at other stuff that was popular. So if you knew one thing, that was it. And in the nineties, you didn't have the internet to really go look at other stuff that was popular. So if you knew one thing, that was it. We're turning over the hourglass. What?

In the nineties, it was easy. There was no internet. If you knew one thing, that was it. And it was popular. It was that. No one could challenge you. You didn't have to fill your brain with all kinds of shit all day.

You just knew stuff where you didn't. Everyone knew one thing and they would share it. I was thinking about address books the other day. Oh yeah. Yeah. And how just like you had to, you had to have a really thick one and- If you were popular.

And then you had to just like write down everyone's fucking address and phone number in it. Crazy. I like that kind of thing. I like to have- And you had to carry it with you everywhere you went. We did? No.

No. No. I. No. No. I of course have my royal decks at my office. I like stationary, like analog sort of things like that. I like stuff like that too. But I don't have any, I finally stopped buying things like that because I wouldn't use them.

Notebooks and things like that. Yeah. Because I would see like a nice moleskine or whatever. Yeah, I have a whole wall of notebooks over them. Yeah. My manager gave me some nice stationery with my name on it and I used it all up writing back to anyone who would write to me.

Which by the way, if I haven't written back to you. Mostly sick kids in the hospital. Sure, sure. Who's writing to you? What do you mean? Anytime anyone would write a letter to Earwolf or whatever I would. Oh, a fan. I would write back.

How nice on your personalized stationery. But then I ran out of the stationery, so I apologize if I haven't written, and plus we haven't even been in the studio, so there's no way to get. I wonder if there's a big pile of mail for all of us. Don't, so please don't start writing again. Take the hint.

I forgot that we made everyone send postcards. Oh, right, why did we do that? To renew. To get another season. Oh, it worked. Which I feel like we already knew we were doing. I know, it was not in danger. But it was fun because it was somebody else's problem. You made it somebody else's problem.

It was OPP. Oh yeah, you know me. Yeah. Remember when that came out, it was the big controversy of, they said it was other people's problems, but then everyone said it was really other people's pussy. Yeah. But wait a second. This, this timer here. Yeah. We just turned it over. Did it already run out before?

Or I never did it. Yeah, it ran out. So it must be only 20 minutes or so. No, I think. God, she's fucking annoying me. Lauren, it never got turned over after we stopped recording. I thought I, I thought I did it. No, no, you didn't do it. And I had to handle this. No, no, I did fucking annoying me. Lauren, it never got turned over after we stopped recording. I thought I did it. No, no, you didn't do it. No, no, I did, I did.

Paul handled this for me. I can't... Okay, keep your eye on this, Josh. Lauren, you are making Scott crazy. You flipped that over probably four minutes ago. God damn it! Shut up! If that runs off before 432, I'm gonna call the cops. The cops? Oh, Lauren.

Lauren, you infuriate us, but we love you. Well, who cares? So what else do you want us to talk about when you wore your zoot suit and your girlfriend called you a swinger? Well, this is the thing though. I had been wearing suits since 1988. In my first-

Were you Paul F. Tomp? Paul, did I not wear suits when you first met me? Yes, you did, Scott. And then you were like, yeah, it's your thing, I'll let you have it. And now look at you, who are you, the boss? You're so Bruce Springsteen. Bruce Brings Jean.

Jean jacket. No, Bruce Springsteen, the boss. Pants, headphones. I phased it out, it was too much work. What? That's what Bruce Springsteen wears. Oh, you're listing all the things. Everything that I'm wearing right now.

But I wasn't like Paul where I had a ton. I had like, you know, a rotation of maybe three or something like that, and different shirts and stuff like that. I have a bunch. I also have things that I have to have taken in because I'm in a weird place right now where I only have a couple things that, but. I have a bunch. I also have things that I have to have taken in because I'm in a weird place right now where I only have a couple things that fit me.

I started fitting back into my comedy bag clothes again. Oh, nice. You're gonna wear them? Yeah, I'm gonna go out there in the sweater. Do you keep them in a separate area? No, I just mean like I got a bunch of the clothes after the show, because it was stuff I'd normally would wear. But you said you didn't fit in them for a bit. Well, this is the yeah

They're just all there. They're all there in my closet like Stuff I can't wear. I'm like, yeah, it's annoying but Annoyed me. Yeah, it kind of annoys me with your closet really There it's annoying You wanna see about my clothes? Yeah, no you're right, it is annoying. They're all just hanging there, it's annoying. It is, I'm getting very annoyed.

It's annoying. Could you do something about it please? I'm working on it. Slowly but surely. Are you and Mike the same size? Well I do wear a lot of his clothes lately, so now more so. Does he ever wear any of yours?

No, he can't fit into my old clothes, but he does wear some of my new clothes. I got these big old sweatpants at Target that he started wearing and I was like, those are mine, and then he's like, you are wearing my sweatpants. I'm like, it's not a free for all, buddy. Are you guys at the same height?

How tall are you? He's 6'3". He is? Or 6'2"? He can't be. 6'1"? He's 6'2", probably. He's 5'9".

I'm 5'10", he's taller than me. Is he taller than me? How tall are you? I'm 6'2 1⁄2'. You're probably... Are we the same size? I think Scott is taller than me? How tall are you? I'm 6'2 1⁄2. You're probably- Are we the same size? I think Scott is taller than Mike. I feel like I am.

But then you might be taller than you think you are. I don't think I am. Oh, Scott, you're taller than you think you are. Oh boy! Well, 6'2 1⁄2, but why are you counting halves when you're over 6'2? You know what I mean? It's like you're a 6'3.

Cause he's not a 6'3. There was this guy that did cool up work for him. I can't remember, because she had all these fashion jobs. Cause she went to college. I just saw cameras popping. Turn to the left. She went to college for fashion design merchandising. So she was in the merchandising side.

She did Ed Hardy when that first came out. Von Dooch. She was a sales rep for all that. Really popular. But I remember some store that I went in to see her at with some duchy worked with or whatever. Duchi. Some duchi, past the duchi I said.

On the left hand side? Some von duchi she worked with. And I walked in and the guy was like, hmm, how tall are you? And I said, six two. And he went, oh, six two. And then as we were leaving, later, like an hour later, he was in the-

He said, you wanna touch my monkey? He was in the car, he was in a car outside and he just slowly rolled up, rolled down his window and said, goodbye six two. And Cool Up says it all the time. Goodbye six two. That Cool Up says it all the time. Goodbye six two. That's a good quote. That's a fun thing to say to somebody.

Is it as good as, ooh, Mr. Magoo? Ooh, Mr. Magoo. I love that. By the way, both of you are looking like a real Mr. Magoo today. Oh wow, we're missing our glasses. No glasses. You just don't have them on.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Reclaiming it. Reclaim no glasses. You just don't have them on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Reclaiming it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Remember that number one nevertheless you persisted. Yeah. No, no less. What do you kill? No. Are you guys excited about West Side Story? Are you guys excited about West Side Story? Chit-a-fat-a-bat-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a-but-a- if someone was elected, and that was the first thing they said. They went up, they were a senator, and they went up and said, can I finish, can I finish? Nevertheless, she persisted,

and then like kinda did a dance, and then sat down. They sat down. Nevertheless, she persisted. What's the occasion? Tax the rich. Tax the rich. I don't know, they're always.

Tax the rich. Nevertheless, she persisted. I'm a clever but tough. They're always getting up to talk. Asian tax Just kind of did like like I did it that glass ceiling What's the difference between a pit bull and a soccer mom lipstick. What's the pit pit bull and a soccer mom? No, no, hold on. Let's go to a pit bull and soccer mom. I'm coming. My time. She persisted. Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop.

What's the pit bull and soccer mom? The glass ceiling. What else? What else? What else do we got here? My favorite time! Reclame to my time! My sheep assisted!

Not a sexual relationship! Not a sheep assisted! The same on the blue dress! The same on the... Famous quote! The same on the blue dress! Still on the blue dress. Stole a blue dress. We're a clever bunch of sons.

Nevertheless. Oh, my God. Good stuff. This would be enough of an episode. I did not inhale. Yeah, we should just end the episode now. That fucking guy. Which guy?

Bunch of lies. Which guy? Bill Clinton. Yeah. I did not inhale. Yeah, that was the first one. Saxophone. The time you. Remember when he lied about playing saxophone No. I did not inhale. Yeah, that was the first one. Saxophone.

The time you... Man. Remember when he lied about playing saxophone on our city hall? And then like they made him do it and he was like, beep bop bop beep bop. And everyone's like, oh, he's cool. No. Remember when that was, I don't know if you remember. What happened to you?

Nothing. I don't know if you remember this, but he was supposedly the first rock and roll president. I do because I remember Phil Hartman being like, be-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney-me-ney There's a song cannot be a rock and roll song unless it has saxophone. What? That's absolutely insane. But I also remember when I wanted to play saxophone, I was told to do the clarinet first as a warmup instrument to learn the saxophone

when I was in fifth or sixth grade. And then I played the clarinet and I was horrible. I never got to anything better. Maybe a saxophone was more expensive and they were like, let's just sell our clarinet. Just made of brass. I rented it. Oh, my brother rented an accordion. I remember this, having to go to accordion lessons,

even though I wasn't taking it, but my mom would like make me go. Tell me about his progress. Just so that you guys, there's something for you to do. Well, yeah, well, like she needed to watch me and she needed to drive him. So I just- Oh, so she had to sit there and wait for him. She had to sit there and nothing for you to do? Well, yeah. Well, like, she needed to watch me. Yeah. And she needed to drive him. So I just remember.

So she had to sit there and wait for him. She had to sit there and wait for him. So I just remember, and this is like 1975, I think, 1976. Just like the shittiest. This is before errands had been invented. Yes. Because she had nothing else to do. Yeah.

I just remember that that was my whole childhood, is being in the 70s, going to drugstores and accordion lessons, and just like sitting around in the station wagon. Oh, you just had to wait around all the time. I was always waiting in the car or like hiding in the clothes at the store. Oh yeah, I would do that too. Or like carpet stores too.

Yeah. Yeah. You'd hide in the clothes at carpet stores? Yeah, or like going to like the upholstery. I feel like that was like a place we went to a lot. Fabric stores. Fabric store. Where they do the curtains and the things.

So then I'd be so bored because it was the most boring shit ever. Well, yeah, there's nothing for a kid to look at where they would do. Fabric stores. Fabric store. Where they'd do the curtains and the things. Yeah. So then I'd be so bored because it was the most boring shit ever. Well, yeah, there's nothing for a kid to look at at a fabric store. I remember going to my mom's. Unless you're interested in fabric. Which I was as a child. Wait, is your mom Joanne?

My mom is Joanne. My dad's Michael's. I made my own drapes when I was nine. My dad's Michael's. Michael's doesn't have an apostrophe, does it? I don't fucking know. And neither does Ralph's. That's right, and you knowrophe, does it? I don't fucking know. And neither does Ralph's. That's right, and you know why?

Because it was more expensive to make the sign. The apostrophe, exactly. Fuck that. It's more expensive to make the sign. Really? Don't be cheap, put the apostrophe. DBCPTA. Have I said this before? I've thought this a million times.

If I had a business, even if I had a McDonald's franchise or something like that, if I had a- Even that. But I'm saying I wouldn't call that my own business. Maybe it is, I don't know. I think you're a small business owner if you a McDonald's franchise or something like that. Like if I had a, but I'm saying I wouldn't call that my own business. Like maybe it is, I don't know. But I think you're a small business owner. If you franchise somebody asks you what you do for a living, that's your business.

You would say I run somebody else's business. I don't do it for fun. I had a store, but this, but I usually think about when I think about fast food, when the lights are out of the, don't sing that song. When the lights, I don't know what's on. I think you made it happen. You were singing it. Go out in the city. When the lights. I don't know what's on. I think you made it happen. You were singing it.

Go out in the city. Oh yeah, oh, oh, Journey. Think about when there's a big M and then part of it's gray. Wait, wait, wait, give me a minute. Think about when it's a big M. And part of it's gray because the light is out behind that one.

You would do it the second. My priority would be to replace any light bulbs in the signs on my business. Are you running for McDonald's? My priority. I'm running for Mayor McKeese. But I would because I always think it looks like dirty when they don't have that.

Right. And then I'm thinking, this isn't a great establishment. Even though of course I would eat that. Does McDonald's still use those mascots? I know that they still have grimace because I saw them on the Thanksgiving Day parade I saw a meme where someone was like they asked

The employee at McDonald's about grimace and they were like, I don't know who that is. And then the person said he works there But you definitely don't see them in commercials and recap well, maybe we know they don't do that, but Which one of you is going to talk to me? Ronald was on the ACA parade. That's what I just said. You did? Yes.

Ronald was there and Grimace was there, but he was the only, maybe the Hamburglar was there too, but I did not see Mary McCheese or Big Mac, ACAB. I don't like how Ronald looks. Is Big Mac a sheriff? No, he's like a Bobby. He's like a turn of the century American policeman. What about the fry guys or those little things?

They're goblins. I want fries now. But here's the thing, the two characters, Mary McCheese and Big Mac, who had human bodies, but then their heads were the burgers. They knew they were mascots, those guys. It's fucked up though.

What were you gonna say because that's a different thought. I was gonna say it's fucked up. It's fucked up to have a burger for a head. No it's not. No it's not. You think it's good. I think it's normal. There's a thing about it that bothers me

because it's just like sloppy. Oh yeah, it's disgusting. Your head's a cheeseburger it that bothers me because just like sloppy. Oh yeah, it's disgusting. Your head's a cheeseburger, I eat your head? No, no, no, no, no. I eat your head! But what if the human body evolved to the point where you had a normal human body and then your head was like a baby body with a baby head as well? What?

It's just another body on top of your neck. Because! The biological imperative. Everyone thinks babies are cute and they love them and they don't want to hurt them. So you had a head and then all war would cease. But the head is also the baby's body? You said it's a body and a head. It's a body and a head.

So your head is a full baby. A full baby. And your body is a full adult's body. So what happens when you go inside the shirt with somebody? That's a call back to a previous episode we recorded. And you for sure heard it. See if you can find it in the archives. Go back one week.

I would just punch people. I would just punch people in the stomach. Yeah. In the baby's stomach or in the, if you, OK, so. Because then they go like, oh, they bend over and then I kiss the baby. Aw. Paul loves babies.

I do love babies. I feel like then I kiss the baby. Aw, aw, aw. Paul loves babies. I do love babies. I feel like when you brought your baby in earlier, I gave it the short shrift because I was concerned about setting up here. Yeah, I didn't think that. I wanted to look at it and say. I was thinking about that the other night. I was like, I didn't give Holly her dew, I feel like.

I was a little distracted. You didn't give her her flowers. Yeah, exactly. Well, another time. Okay. Oh, this is making me think you're never gonna let me see her again. Another time, for sure.

It'll happen later. I got to hold Holly. It was very exciting. Yeah, you did. But I was distracted. Well. Yeah. That's on you.

I have something I wanted to bring up. Oh, no. Scott, this is unprecedented. Confrontation corner. Confront is unprecedented. Confrontation corner, confrontation corner, confrontation corner. It's not about either of you. Confrontation corner. It doesn't have to be.

It's still about somebody. It is about somebody. Okay. Okay. So we've narrowed it down. I, twice now, I've been walking our two dogs and I've seen a dog wandering around in a yard loose. And I've come up to it and taken it and the first time it had a collar that said where

it lived and I've taken it to the house and said, is this your dog? I found him wandering around and it's always both times like three. Always both times. Both times three like 10 year old girls answered the door together. What? Three 10 year old girls answered like a 30 year old. No, three 10 year old girls answered the door

and they're like. It's three 10 year old girls but one. But they're all one person. No, they all, they answer and they go, the first time it was like, someone's at the door and he's got our dog. And then I'm like, is this your dog? I found him wandering around. They're like, oh, thank you.

And then I heard the mom's- People need to know that the face Scott is making is not just a dumb child face, but a face of disgust. Yeah, like, why are you bothering me? Good goblin, what's the matter? And the first time the mom was like, I told you, you have to watch the dog so it doesn't get away or whatever.

But then happened just the other day again, this little- Just the other day? Just the other day, as a matter of fact, wandering around in a yard, little cutie, and by the way, there are coyotes on this street constantly that we see. And just, what'd you have to do with it? I have a bunch of coyotes in a van.

You gave them the address? No, I have them in a van and I grab them up to you. Are you a road runner? And I let them, yes. They keep trying to catch me, but I'm smarter than them. She means the road runners that would transport. No, wait, no, those are coyotes. I'm every sense of road runner.

I'm only one sense of cherry pop and daddy. But no, so this, so the second time I get- You eat cherries. I eat them and I'm a father. That I know of. Second time the dog's not wearing its collar. I'm a father that I know of. Yeah, that's what I said.

I stand by it. Okay. I have thought about that. I was like, is it possible that I have a kid out there somewhere? It's not. I know it. At this point, it would be. For me, it's not possible. They'd thought about that. I was like, is it possible that I have a kid out there somewhere? It's not. I know at this point it would be. For me it's not possible.

They'd come for you. But no, the second time- I looked up your net worth on the internet. Yeah, hello. On Comedian Net Worth. The second time no caller, but I knew where it was. And the second time I ring the bell and then the just look of confusion that these three girls... Yeah, and it was like, they're like, hello?

Wait, was it the three answered again? Yeah, and they're like, hello? And they're looking at the dog, you must recognize this is your dog. And then I say, is this your dog? And I know it is because I've already returned it to them. And they're like... Like a good magician. And they're like, oh, thank you.

Again, the look of- Why are they so dumb? And no admonishment from the parents this time. But how many times is this a good thing to happen? I almost think you just don't do it again. What? No, this one more time would be a good thing to happen, but after that it would be bad.

Or take it, keep it, go keep it. Go keep it. When we left from seeing you that day at Jess Chaffin's house, Mike rescued a dog. We saw it. There was a dog and then he picked it up and then he was trying, there was no, there was a phone number but they didn't answer

and then right as he was going to like look around, the person came looking for the dog and had the leash. And it was a brand new dog they just got, that was like a rescue. And he got off the leash and he was all, didn't know where he was. Mike was like, oh, thank God. I was about to bash his head in.

Well. Cause I couldn't find the owner. I'd had it for 60 seconds. That was very sweet. I was glad we got to see that. Oh, you were there. Yeah. I was in the car.

You guys were like way up the Oh, you were there. Yeah. I was in the car. You guys were like way up the street, but we saw it happen. But doesn't it seem like they don't care about their dog to have this happen twice? Oh yeah. The kids definitely don't care.

Can I tell you, you know, my dog friends that I made friends with during quarantine. I saw you making friends with my neighbor's dog. Making friends. Here's what's very funny is the one dog was barking like crazy. Oh, the one up there? The one up there.

Sometimes they don't. They didn't bark at me at all cause I was like, hi, sweeties. And they just looked at me. Here's what's very funny is the one dog was barking like crazy. Oh Sometimes they didn't bark at me at all cuz I was like hi, sweetie So they just looked at you the one barked and then the other one was like jumping on the barking one It was so funny Right away, huh? I never really said hey, sweetie I never did I was just like sweeties and. And they just kind of looked at me like, hey, you're all right. All right, well, it's often when I walk by with Franny, they go crazy, because then Franny likes to,

ah, balalalalalala. By the way, our dog got, Coolop put a big Buddha statue in our yard today. I saw that on Instagram. And Molly went crazy, because she thought it was real. Oh, Molly. She's like, don't meditate here. Another thing for Molly to bark at every single day. Yes, I know.

I'm worried because, yeah, it's my... So my dog friends in my neighborhood... But you're worried? Oh, I have to stop talking? Yeah, no, everyone does. I need silence right now. Okay, absolute silence for Paul to do the story. There's a new, they have a new dog in their yard.

This little black pug who will not warm up to me. He barks all the time. And I try, I put out my hand from the sniff. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Oh! He said... Oh! Oh! Un-Believ-able! Do you think they were psyched when Crumb-Believ-able happened?

Like, has their song become popular again? Which came first? Crumb-Believ-able or Un-Believ-able? What? What's Crumb-Believ-able? Crumb-Believ-able! It's for breadcrumbs. For some company. Breadcrumbs? Why are they advertising those? Crumple up some bread. Unbelievable unbelievable bread crumbs Crumple of some bread Believe a ball

God you gotta do everything And you just rip up bread and just shove it on top of the piece of bread. It won't stick. It's Shakey Bank. I don't put it on anything. I just say it. And I helped. And I helped. And I helped. God, that's ancient, that commercial. Yeah. Did you like my song?

It was a remix. It was a great song. Remix. And I helped. So this little black dog, And I helped. He almost bit me a couple times and he will not let the other dogs get pets from me.

He like gets in the way. He doesn't like it. If it bites you, will you have it destroyed? Oh yes, absolutely. Does it get to court, walk to the town hall? I will like hold my bloody hand up to the window of the house as I'm calling animal control, saying I have a dog for you to destroy.

I still think my neighbors think that we called animal control on them, which we did not. I still think they think something. But now you can say, did you do it? I have an update on mine, but I can't say it on the show. I'll tell you during the break. Okay, fine. Well, should we take a break now?

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and investing for your future today. Paid non-client endorsement compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns. Investing involves risk. Acorns Advisors LLC and SEC Registered Investment Advisor view important disclosures at acorns.com slash threedom. Now fans of this show know via restaurant roundup that the restaurant business, it's tough, right? But that doesn't stop celebrities from trying to open their own restaurants and their own hotspots over and over and over again.

Well, on each episode of Wondry's podcast, The Big Flop, comedians join host Misha Brown to chronicle one of the biggest pop culture fails of all time and try to answer the age-old question, who thought this was a good idea? You know how age-old that question is. Someone said it about the wheel originally and then they rolled it around and people were like, oh, it is a good idea.

Anyway, Britney Spears had Naila, Guy Fieri had a Times Square empire, Eva Longoria had a steakhouse called She with a baffling gender-themed concept, and they each went bust in their own special way. Peloton star Cody Rigsby and Amanda Hirsch, host of Not Skinny But Not Fat, join Misha to review this trio of failed celebrity restaurants. Follow the big flop on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts. Yeah. You're crumb-a-lievable. Yeah, you're not listening to an ad.

This is the show. Now we just play ads that we're not getting. That's Lauren talking. That's right. We play ads we're not getting paid for on this show, somehow. Just to have ads. Yep.

So they're not breadcrumbs. What are they? They're little snacks. Oh, little ones. They're little ones. What is a big snack? A big snack, probably a 13 ounce steak. Sandwich.

Uh huh. By the way, this reminds me of the sketch that someone was trying to write, Tim Kalpakis maybe during the Bang Bang Writers Room of like the world's biggest slider, which happened to be the world's smallest hamburger. It was like right on the line. Someone was trying it than that, which is probably why it ended up not being a sketch, but it was a funny concept. Should we do another roommate reminiscence? I'd love to.

No. No? I want to hear about your second roommate. We should eventually. We should eventually. It doesn't feel like the right time. Not two in a row? Yeah.

It feels like if we're going to do it again, it should be two segments again. You know? Was ours a full two segments? Full two segments. Wow. And we got no information from that. Really?

No, we have very little. I've spoken about my next two roommates endlessly on this show, so mine would be- So we'll skip those. Yeah, we'll skip them. Jesus and the Holy Spirit. That's right. But don't even say that now,

because that's what you'll say next time when we actually do the thing. Of course, yes. On Reminiscence. So what's gonna happen though, is we're gonna get out of sync. I'm gonna be saying my two, you're to be saying your two, then you're going to say I skipped two and three, I'm on four now.

Then suddenly we're on Scott's fifth roommate. Yeah, this is a problem. Wait, no, I think you talk about the roommates that are confined to one place. Yeah, well, my next two were simultaneous. Right. Is that what you're saying? He's saying, you know... I count them as code number twos.

Oh, so you're... Oh, okay, because I had an apartment where I had a lot of rotation. Okay, that would be different. That would be... We would take those in order. Okay. But if... In chronological order, yes.

Yes, if they're simultaneous... But what I'm telling you is, this is what we should be discussing the next time we do roommate reminiscence. We shouldn't discuss this now? No, no, we shouldn't discuss this now what should we discuss now is this about new business we gotta finish old business first we gotta talk about something else we got we have to switch it up now did you guys ever have club like we had a clubhouse that my dad built did you have to do the president vice president like that seemed to have to do the president, vice president?

Like that seemed to be- Have to or get to? That seemed to be all clubhouse business was deciding who was gonna do these things. And then you take the minutes. And the secretary always got the worst part of it because- I was also secretary in student council and I took the minutes.

Because the secretary had to write everything down. Meanwhile, the president gets to be popular and do nothing. Vice president gets to do absolutely nothing and then treasurer keeps money of which there is none. I guess this is how it really works, huh? We had a club in our basement and the club consisted of, and we set up little offices and everything.

Offices in the, oh wow. Like a cubicle? Big basement. Not a cubicle, I mean. But you each had your own station. It was like office space. Yeah, we would like use whatever existing furniture for like tables, desks, and chairs. You're nine and 30 of cubicle. I mean, it was like office space. Yeah, we would like use whatever existing furniture for like a desk and chair. And you're like all day going like, I can't wait till it's time to go home.

And you're like, I have coffee all the time. We get high at 420. Taking smoke breaks. Yeah. But I was the president. Sorry. Wow. There were four of us.

Because it was your basement? Yeah. I want to make it clear, I was the student council secretary in fifth grade. Wow. There were four of those. Because it was your basement? Yeah. I want to make it clear, I was the student council secretary in fifth grade. Okay. I wasn't doing that in high school. Student council in fifth grade? And I had to make a speech and get voted.

Why? What? Why are they making kids do this? Do they do it every year in your school? Every fifth grade. Just fifth grade? So sixth grade, so sixth they would stop. Oh, sixth is in another school.

Oh. Six was same school where I was. The elementary is K through five, middle school is six would stop. Oh, sixth is in another school. Oh, sixth was the same school where I was. Elementary is K through five, middle school is six through eight. Oh, middle school. High school, nine through 12. We did junior high, which was seven and. I always have to do some math in my head with that because I went to same school for first through eighth grade and then the same school for. Nine through 12. Nine through 12. Yeah.

Did you love that? Loved it. Loved it. Loved it. It was so exciting to go to a new school when it was time to go to now middle school, now high school, that kind of thing. I remember how it was kind of scary going to high school. Oh yeah, scary. I still go to high schools.

And you're scary? Terrible. So tell us about this. No, that can't be a callback. Tell us about your club. So what did you guys do there? It was what did we do there? Would you listen to the radio or songs by Michael Jackson on the radio?

And did you listen to records of Bill Cosby doing stand up? I remember we'd listen. How I can't say call Jerry Bobbin Daddy's in the same episode. We can bring these two guys back every fucking week. There's something to say about them every time. It just comes up naturally. They're evolving. We did listen to Top 40, I remember that.

So the most popular 40 songs in America. The most popular 40 songs. The top, the very top. Michael Jackson was probably in there, at least some of them. Yeah, of course, of course. What year is this? This was early 80s.

So he's, the Off the Wall album had come out in 79, this is pre-Thriller in 82. Yeah, well early 80s would have been... So maybe Thriller era. Yeah, absolutely. Hee hee. Well, I just want to... Bless your silly ass. I just want to say one thing.

Hee hee. To Roboto, hee hee. I'll make a final point on this, but no, I'm not going to say anything. I'm just going to say one thing. Yeah. He he. To Roberto, he he. I'll make a final point on this that no one can speak after. He he. If I may, I will simply leave you with this thought.

He he. It was, you want him to name the club? Yeah. It was called Shangri-La Two. Um, it was, you want them to name it a club? It was called Shangri-La too. Really? Like Shangri-La the, the, uh, from the book lost horizon. Not the Howard. No, not the Hirst.

How's that Shangri-La song go? Wait, is that, that was citizen came. Yeah. But isn't citizen came, they call it Shangri-La or no, I can't remember what they call it. Okay. It's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just,. But isn't Citizen Kane they call it Shangri-La or no? I can't remember what they call it. It's just Shudder Shunkern. Shudder Shunkern. What do they call it?

Citizen Kane! I still, I'll by the way, anytime. Citizen Kane! Yes, Kevin MacDonald. Citizen Kane! I had to watch that in school, but what class was that? The kids in the hall? No, Citizen Kane.

No, you were kids in the hall. Hey everybody, I'm the substitute teacher, I'm stoned out of my mind, we're going to watch the kids in the hall? No, you were kids in the hall. Hey everybody, I'm the substitute teacher. I'm stoned out of my mind. We're gonna watch the kids in the hall today. That'd be awesome. What can you imagine? Guys, we should be substitute teachers. Okay, that's a good idea. As a trio. You know what? Because you don't have to do it that often, right?

Yeah, we should just sign up. Yeah. I think Erin Whitehead was a substitute teacher for a while and she had like a consistent class because the teacher had something happen. Right. Yeah. Well, we would do that, but we would like bail the second day.

Yeah, I wouldn't go. Like, I'm not busy tomorrow, sorry. Yeah. I'm not busy. I'm not busy tomorrow, sorry. I'll be here. Sorry, I'm available. That reminds me of this time when I was in high school

and I was wearing a sweatshirt that I really wanted to wear, but it was really hot. And I was next to a cute boy that I liked named Vince, who was in my line with me. And then my friend was behind me. In my line with me. In lunch line. Oh sure.

And I was standing there and this other friend was like, aren't you hot? And I was like, she said like, why are you wearing that? And I said, because I'm hot, but I meant to say cold. And I was like, I just had to kill myself. Yeah, it's just the worst thing I could have said. Yeah, and I remembered it forever. We should stop asking people why they're wearing.

I hate that. Like if someone is wearing a jacket, leave them do it. Somebody was doing that to Lauren when we were in New York one time. Oh my God. We went to see a show together and this guy backstage kept talking about Lauren's, he would not let it go.

Because my coat was like a little too heavy for the weather but I was traveling and I only had one coat so there was no option. And I wouldn't have worn it if I lived there, but I didn't. So that's your jacket. Yeah, exactly. But he kept going about it and I was getting mad. Yeah, it was annoying. Okay was like leave people's clothes to themselves

I understand that you're not cold Yeah, but I don't live here. I have one jacket. Yeah, exactly. Oh my god. That was really annoying I hate it's also like what are you supposed to do then? What do we do take it off and carry it? What am I gonna do? Get a different coat? To make you happy? I don't think so You son of a bitch! Knock it out! You're not gonna know!

You never know what shibas is doing! And that's when the glasses broke. Lord of the Thousand Points of Light! So tell us the end of this story, which I don't remember the beginning. We're just talking about Clubhouse's. Oh yeah, so it was called Shangri-La 2, and it was based on Lost Horizons. And in the halls of Shangri-La... I just thought Shangri-La 2, and it was based on Lost Horizons. Based on another, I just thought Shangri-La was a cool concept.

Shangri-La. Shambhala. Shambhala. We're on the road to Shambhala. Thank you. He, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, What's that other song? Give us clues. I think it's like Chris Isaac or something and it goes like really high. Wicked games. There is no other Chris Isaac song. Okay, it's not Chris Isaac then. It goes high like that. No, I don't want to fall in love.

It's not I don't want to fall in love, it's I want to fall in love. No, he doesn't want to fall in love. He doesn't want to fall in love with you. He doesn't want to fall in love. He doesn't want to fall in love. It's a wicked game. You think he's going to sing a song about wanting to fall in love with someone? I don't think so. Who would sing such a song?

The hourglass is done. Oh shit! It's 410. I said 423 at the earliest. So I don't know what we're trying to say. Oh, it looks to be, I bet it's a half hour. But it's not. I bet it's a half hour. But it's not. I bet it's a half hour.

It's not though. Well, let's see. 35, who cares? It's your hourglass, figure it out and come back to us. Okay. If I had a dime. Four 10. We had a club that I don't remember what it was called.

What position in the leadership were you? I think we would always fight. It was my clubhouse. So I think I thought it should be, I should be president, but then I turned out, but then my brother was in it. So it was like, I think he and I were always fighting about who was what or whatever. But I feel like one of us was president. One of us was vice. And then I had two friends named Edward. And one was- How could you be team Edward if there were two of them? That's hard.

You need a Jacob. You need to make your decision. Yes. Edward or Jacob. Yeah, that's true. That's a good point. Scott, your story. Scott, when you see shimmering skin, do you get excited? Yeah. And you have some on you right now. No, I don't. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, God. I'm tired. All right, let's take a break. I'm so tired. I think there's a reason they call it a health journey, right?

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or for those that medically qualify, access to doctor prescribed weight loss medications and registered dietitians in Weight Watchers clinic. See how Weight Watchers fits you at WeightWatchers.com. That's WeightWatchers.com. Hey guys, after this, we're done. All right. That's what she said.

Oh, Lauren. Lauren, who? Who said it? She right. Well, that's what she said. Oh, Lauren. Lauren, who? Who said it? She did. She said that. You? No, someone else. You guys don't even know.

We don't even know? We don't even know. Paul, is everything all right? Hey, that's actually, no wait, that was so- That's what she said. Is everything all right? That was so unpredictable. This is what I was thinking about.

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Let's be real about it. Or here. Let's be real. Yeah. Or here. Let's be real. Might we actually suggest gifting? Yeah.

You know what? We played this the other night and we'll definitely be bringing it out again. That's what she said. That's what she said. It was so fun. And we're going to find what that's what she said. Yeah. Where you can find it, which is at the target.com or the amazon.com. That's what she said. Amazon.com. That's what she said. That's what she said. Second edition. You guys don't even know. That's what she said second edition. You guys don't even know. You don't even know. We're back.

We're back. Now it's time for a game that I haven't run past you guys, just like I always do. Ready? Yep. The game we're going to play is called Henrietta. Henrietta. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. It was submitted by Iro Ray.

This game takes a. Pull on Iro Ray. This game takes a cue. Pull on Iro Ray. Pull on Iro Ray. Oh no. Oh no. Neighborhood dogs going insane. This game takes a cue from Henrietta Pussycat of Mr. Roger's Neighborhood.

Oh, so you're Meow Meows. I think I called it. Yeah. Each player must take turns improvising a dramatic monologue while inserting the word meow as often as possible. If they laugh, they lose. Seems like every word. Oh, okay. I just laugh, they lose. It seems like every word. Oh, okay.

I just lost, I laughed. It's not, you're not started yet. Okay. Okay. So- A dramatic monologue? Yes, give me a topic, I'll go first. Oh, okay. I guess, tort reform? What does that mean?

I thought it was- We're about to go to war. That's what that means? No, no, but that's the topic. Forget about that. I would say put that out of your mind. And the topic is we're about to go to war. You're addressing the troops.

All right, everyone. Meow. All right, everyone. Meow, all right, everyone, meow. What a leader. All right, everyone. All right, everyone, meow. Alright everyone, meow. Listen up, meow.

She can't stand it. Listen up, meow. We're about to do something really bad, meow. Meow is time for everybody to do what you were saying. Meow expecting. We can't... No questions, meow. Can I say something? It's not a question. It's a statement But can I? No questions now. Can I say something?

It's not a question. It's a statement. It's a statement, meow. Okay. I'm expecting we're all. A baby? Meow? No, I'm expecting we're all gonna pack up and go home meow.

Is that what you're talking about? No, we're not meow. We are now going to do something very meow serious. Are we supposed to guess meow? Everybody take your pictures. Are we all supposed to talk or is this what the person's supposed to guess? Meow. Everybody take your pictures. Are we all supposed to talk or is this what a person is supposed to talk about? I'm just a monologue for a reason. That's what I thought.

Meow. Grab the pic. Shut up. Grab my ankles? What? Grab your ankles, spread your ass open, meow, and let someone go to town. Meow.

No, you need to all take out the photos of your families. I'm laughing, I'm already out like a million years ago. I know, you were out from the very first set. Someone else did. I'm enjoying it. I'll try again. But I have to try to get further. Give me a topic, I'll try it.

Your topic is you have to make a speech about, you have to talk about how you've been out. There's a recall on one of your products. And so who am I? You recall on one of your products. And so, who am I? You're the head of the company. Am I addressing the public or? Okay. It's killed five people.

Okay. Good evening, meow. My name is Henry Litchfield, meow, and I come to you, meow, meow, with a heavy heart. Meow, five people have unfortunately, meow, perished because of faulty, shoddy parts, meow, in our hairdryer. Meow, meowow my uncle passed This is the new monologue

Where am I I thought I was like on TV no you're in a field Yeah We needed these air dryers. All right, I feel like you won, honestly, okay. You won. Scott's turn. All right, give me a topic. Your monologue is a passionate plea

to get back together with your ex, who you ruined everything with. Great. And Lauren and I play the ex. Yeah, we're one person. Meow. We're two 10-year-olds, so we're 20-years-old. We're two 10-year-olds, so we're 20-years-old. Yeah, we're one person. Meow. We're two 10 year olds, so we're 20 years old. I was trying to get there.

Meow. Meow, meow, meow. Meow. Some real words have to come out. I thought it was as often as possible. Oh my God. Oh my fucking. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.

Shut up, meow. Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up. Well, I don't want to get back together now. Shut up, shut Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Shut up, meow. Shut up, shut up, shut up, meow. Shut up. Well, I don't wanna get back together now. Shut up, shut up, shut up, meow. Okay. Shut up, shut up. Meow, look, I love you.

Shut up, just shut up, shut up. I love you. Meow, just shut up though. And let me tell you why I love you, meow. Ever since the day that I saw you rooting through my meow, trash, I knew that there was you rooting through my meow trash. I knew that there was something about you meow that just meow swept me off my feet. And I said, meow, I can save this poor girl, meow.

What a horrible. Fuck you. Shut up. You're doing the meow shit. Fuck you. You're terrible. Okay, I'm gonna try again. You guys were too good at it, it's not great.

Okay. And Lauren, you can't keep a straight face, I have learned. I know. Through any take of any. You're not as bad as Rangel. But that was because we're having so much fun. We were having a lot of fun. We're having a lot of fun.

I can keep a straight face, but I'm having a lot of fun. I bet I could have got through some takes. What is my topic? Your topic is you have to put down the giraffe at the zoo that everyone loves. You have to destroy it. Listen everyone, meow. Listen everyone, meow.

Gather around, meow. Hi, hi. What's up? What's up, ding dong? Obviously my, what's up, playas, meow. I am ding dong. I am Ding Dong. I am meow the head giraffe harnesser, meow at the zoo. You were just hired like an hour ago.

You already want to talk to us? Yep. Is there something wrong with the giraffe harness? Meow, the harness fits fine meow. It's just that- Oh, thank God. Oh, thank God. This is a long, long neck.

While I was meow climbing his neck, it meow snapped in half. Why were you climbing its neck? What the fuck? Who hired you? It snapped in half? Meow and this is not good, meow. And obviously meow, we need to bury him.

So meow. Wait, I'm looking at him, he's still alive in pain. He won't be soon. You killed Jiffy? You snapped his neck? bury him so we still I'm looking at him he's still alive in pain he won't be soon meow everyone can everyone just meow quickly hold hands with each other quickly hold hands I can do it I can do it about it is this okay and then we're gonna step on his neck until it's done neck until it stops. What? No!

Meow. And... We can't be in charge of this. We need to call, we need to call the head, I don't know, the head of the zoo? There's no way to call meow. I've been meeting the head of the zoo meow because my father was the head of the zoo meow and he since meow passed. He's dead?

Did you climb on his neck? So an hour ago, you were hired as the head giraffe harnesser. Then you killed the giraffe and your dad and you became promoted to head of the zoo. Wow, you're caught up ding dong. What's the place? Hey, this is a successful creature. Absolutely.

Don't you think? Absolutely. So who won? The listener. Yeah. Isn't that what you think? Absolutely. So who won? The listener. Yeah, yeah. Time to wind it down. Time to, okay, let's do a cool down. Let's go do it, okay.

Okay, everyone. Let's go wind it down. Again, you can start, you can return to your own thoughts and it doesn't matter whatever you're thinking and just sort of keep that feeling of relaxation with you as you go throughout the day. You can feel the weight of your body all day long, everywhere you go.

Just feel the weight of it. I'd like to know how many times you farted during the show, the listeners, not you guys. Oh, I was gonna say none. Yeah, none for me too. By the way, I'm proud that during massages, professional massages, I'm fart free. No. You should be proud.

I'm proud that I am too. I do think a lot of people just let her. I feel like I have to say that I am too or else people will assume that I'm not. No, but I mean, sometimes you know how you drift off into sleep. An accident, yeah. An accident, you get so relaxed, it's an accident. But I'm 100% have never done it,

but I'd like to know. But I'd like to. But I'd like to. But I'd like to know. But I'd like to. But I'd like to. But I'd like to know out there, how many times did you fart when you- Why do you wanna know that? Cause I'm interested. But why are you interested?

How many people who are listening to this like to get farted on? I'm a fart freak. No. We wanna know these things. So go ahead over to our Instagram, threedomusa. Yeah, yeah, sure. And just write it.

Just write it anywhere. Just write it. Just write it. There's probably a box you can write it in. Leave it as the caption for one of your own photos. No, if you're gonna post it, you have to make it a story and tag us, and it has to be public.

And we have to hear you doing it. No, you have to say, I like to be a part of that. Damn. So anyway, Freedom USA on both Twitter and Instagram. I don't really deal with the Twitter that much and neither does Scott. Scott deals mainly with the Instagram. Right, me, I don't deal with any of it.

That's my responsibility is the Instagram. So if I've been slacking lately, I'm sorry. Maybe stop saying I love you for two seconds and post some content. I know but it's just I have these feelings All right Us a and Instagram follow us and email us three chairs at freedom USA gmail and listen and subscribe to this show wherever you can and If you want to listen ad free you can do it on both Stitcher Premium and also at cbbworld.com. Or right here. Yeah.

Or wherever you're listening, cause we haven't done an ad in weeks. Good night. Crocs, come back to us. We love you. We love you, Crocs. Come back, Crocs. Come back, Crocs.

Come back. Crumbacks. Crumbacks. Crumb-Believable. Crumb-Believable. Bzzz. You're Croc believable. Hi everyone, Gloria Riviera here and we are back for another season of No One Is Coming

to Save Us, a podcast about America's childcare crisis. This season we're delving deep into five critical issues facing our country through the lens of childcare, poverty, mental health, housing, climate change, and the public school system. By exploring these connections, we aim to highlight that childcare is not an isolated issue, but one that influences all facets of American life. Season four of No One is Coming to Save Us is out now wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Lupita Nyong'o. My new podcast, Mind Your Own, is a storytelling show that navigates what it means to belong, all from the African perspective. We're going beyond the headlines to dive into nuanced, intimate stories from Africans around the world.

I'm so excited to bring this show to you. Listen to Mind Your Own on Amazon Music.