Threedom - Threevisiting: Frank Caliendo's Hot Dog Emporium

Episode Date: June 20, 2023

Threevisiting on the Tues: The gang makes some New Rules about Three Men and a Baby, discuss owning pets and play The Movie Game. Follow us on social media @threedomusa. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail]. Leave us a voicemail at 424-252-4678 (HAG-CLAIMS-8).

3-0! [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ 3-0! [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Welcome! Did you hear me know it? 3-0? I did hear it.

Did you hear it? Did you hear me? Did you hear me? I did it like a rollout with it was like. I did hear it. Did you hear it? Did you hear it? Did you hear me? Well, I did it like a rollout with three notes. Daddy and other daddy, did you hear me? Daddy, why don't you fuck? Are we old enough to be your dad?

I can't, I've never gotten the, I am for sure. And you're on the specs. You know what? Well, you can be a gong dad. Give me your measurements and we'll figure it out. You know what? How tall are you? Can I be your measurements and we'll figure it out. No. How tall are you?

Can I be your dad? How does this work? No wait. What's the deal? I'm 33. Oh, a lot of us do creased. Yeah, there's the year of Christ. You're a thing.

You're a... The age you died, yes. No, I know what happened. There's a lot of us do Christ. The age of Christ, I believe it. You 48. What do you mean I don't know you were about what I am. So if you were 15, but I never would have happened.

But I ain't more than fucking then. That's what I'm saying. So no, you couldn't have been my dad. I'm Fiddy. So I could have. You both would have been teen dads, but it's plausible. Isn't it, could it be this probable? This whole show was like a con for you

to like spend more time with your father. And that you're my two dads this whole time. And I'm like, do you know, wait, can I just say something though? Yeah. Because okay, obviously both wouldn't be my dads, but let's say one of you was, and that this was some weird thing,

do you know how fucked up I would be forever from this experience? Oh, meaning you find out about it after you do this. Yeah, and then you'd be like, hey, I have to tell you that I'm like the final episode of the video. So, we're your real dads. And yeah, we both did stuff to someone

and we don't know who it is. But it was good. It was one of us. That is the premise of three men and a baby, right? It's that they don't know which one of them is the father. And DNA tests didn't exist then, I think. And but no, ghost did exist. Ghost did exist.

They did live together, right? They lived together because of the baby or they already lived together and they found out they all. I find out a lot of holes. I don't remember if they lived together. You're not eating ice. They did live together. What a dare. Wouldn't dare. Can anyone tell us any? I don't remember if they lived together. You know, he did live together.

Wouldn't dare Can anyone tell us any of the thick tongue any listeners out there? Can you tell us if the three men and the baby live together because here's the thing we can't The baby might have had its own apartment. We can't Google. We can't watch the film. These are rules. These are rules Oh, I do a leap. I'm gonna hold you up. Oh, here we go. We got to do a leap. We got to do, we're going to lay down the three to the rules. The kids pop version, please.

And we will adhere to these rules as long as we do the show. And how old are these rules? Are these rules are new? They're happening right now. And they are based on the experience of us wanting to know about three men and a baby. Yes, okay, here we go. This is the end of the kids' Bob version.

The kid's Bob version of the coolest rules. One, we can't Google it. We cannot Google it, Chef. We can't Google it, Chef. We can't Google it, Chef. Two, we can't watch the film again. Because we've all seen it. Yeah, so we cannot really watch it.

We can't watch it again. Three, three. We can't ask anyone we know. Can't cannot re-watch it. We can't watch it again. Three? Three. We can't ask anyone we know. We can't ask anyone that we have a personal relationship with. We can ask, okay, four, go. Four.

If we read something where somebody tries to tell us, we have to stop reading it right away. And we have to recuse ourselves. But we have to accidentally overhear the facts about three men and a baby. That's right. five She was a five oh, sorry six if anyone tries to tell us the answer stranger Can I get the song louder my headphones? Turn myself down in my headphones. I want to be inaudible If anyone tries to tell us a stranger, we have to punch them in the mouth.

Seven. Was this the adult version? If we meet... The kids' butt version. It's not? Yeah, it is. If we meet any of the stars of three men and a baby, we must avoid the topic entirely. Entirely.

I have met Goode. And if they bring a butt, I've met Ted Danson. I've met Danzen too. I forgot he was in the... Who's all in it? Steve Goode. Madam. Danzen. And if they bring him up, but I've met Ted Danson. I've met Danson too. I forgot he was in the... Who was all in it? Steve Goop. Madam.

Madam. Madam. Magnum PI. No, thank you. Directed by Leonard Nimoy. Madam. Thankfully, he's not a threatening morgue today. It was directly by Leonard Nimoy.

He was. What the fuck? What? What? Did you not know he was a big film director for a while? I didn't know that. I needed to direct that movie. It was so random. I think he forced himself into directing one of the Star Trek movies,

the third and the fourth, right? And that forced himself. Well, he was like, I'll be in it if you. What would that be, how? I'll be director. Can you imagine if that was the character you were forever? Like, I know everyone worships it and stuff, but like, that would be hard to speak spook forever.

He wrote a book called, I am not spook. And then, and then he was like, fuck it, I am spook. Yes, he did. He wrote another book. He's like, I'm actually a director. I'm at, hey, it's me, Leonard Nimboi. I like the direct. He's too used. I'm not spook. I'm actually a director.

He has a whole record. My ears are regular. Shut up. My ears are round. And that pointed as you may have believed from the TV I don't wear eye shadow anymore I Spook yes, the character loved it. He has a whole character loved it. He has a whole record Read you know, you know, RuPaul's drag race is based on Star Trek. What? Yeah space on the character. That's incredible

Yeah, are you Drag Race is based on Star Trek. What? Space of the character. That's incredible. Are you kidding me? Rupal is based on Rupal's Drag Race. Oh, Drag Race is the show. So Rupal is a character. Rupal based herself on Spock. Then when she wanted to make Rupal's Drag Race intellectual property, you will see at the very end of the credits it it says a desi-lu production. What?

Yes. Because of Star Trek was a desi-lu production. Yes. That's insane. Wow. That's great. I did notice at the end of RuPaul's Drag Race when I was watching, she kind of like takes her wig back a little bit and shows the, her pointy ears.

Well, she makes her ear, it's like Carol Burnett. Yeah, exactly. Winks at the audience, that is insane. She winks her ear like Carol Burnett. She makes her like Carol Burnett. Yeah, exactly. And Winks at the audience, that is insane. She Winks her ear like Carol Burnett. She Winks her like Carol Burnett. Because Carol Burnett always Winks her ear. What if Carol Burnett, at the end of the show, bent over and winked her butt hole? You know, she's still alive.

That's true. Oh, I forgot. And you cannot, yeah, talk that way about her. So sorry. What are we going to run into her, you think? We might. We might. You're the new Carol Burnett. I've always said. Oh, wow. Do you have gonna run into? Are you think we might you're the new carol burnette?

I've always said. Oh, do you have any, any people like that that you know interest in watching your work? Do you have, do you have any areas that are personally like you never will find a joke about it funny? And I because that made me think of for me,

Mr. Rogers, like I don't, I don't think that any Murphy's Mr. Robinson was funny. When I don't. Interesting. You know, they didn't like that. I don't think that he Murphy's Mr. Robinson was funny. When I was younger, sure. But I became a man and I put away childish things. Did you see the doc? No, I didn't watch it yet. Mr. Robby.

I haven't watched it yet. Yeah. It's a true story. Yes, I feel like I have to be, I feel like I have to be in a certain place to be able to watch that. It's good. Have you had theater? Yeah.

No, it helped. Okay, I'll jump. Um, I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. I saw it before it ever even came out. No, me. They ran it by me first before making it.

I know it's good. Really? Yeah. Well, I'm glad you said yes. I had to. Did you have any reservations about it? Um, only for dinner. Oh, oh, oh Damn. Scott Joe. How dare you? Is there any

label my joke? Is there any topic that you won't joke about? Um, yeah. But they're like legit. I mean, I feel like what we're talking about is really like something that's a little unexpected that you won't joke about. I think there are obvious things.

Yeah, like, because I was surprising to me that I felt that way. Yeah, who do I feel that way about or what? Hmm, I don't know. Do you have one? I don't necessarily think that no one should joke about any topic. I agree. But there are some that I won't necessarily think that no one should joke about any topic. I agree. I agree. But there are some that I won't. Yeah.

Really? Yeah, I think I have lines for myself. And there were some that I used to joke about, but now I'm not into anymore. And that kind of stuff. I made a Mr. Rogers joke. Really? I think like a year ago, and then I was like,

it wasn't worth it. I wish I hadn't done it. It was a very mild joke too. But don't you hate when you have a joke that you just rattle off and then later, like I really wish I didn't say that. I don't agree with that. I remember when I was working in one of the restaurants

I worked at, I would. What is it? Kelly and Kelly and Taylor. Billy's Sevilla Suveos. Kelly and Taylor. Salamonka. What was it? Kelly and Do civila sous videos Callie and oh Callie for Capacornio Tomatio

Callie and Kelly and Kelly and Kelly and Kelly and Kelly and Kelly and Kelly and

Kelly and Kelly and Kelly and Kelly and Kelly and Kelly and Kelly and Kelly and Kelly and Kelly and Kelly and Kelly and I had a plate for you. Hurry. Hurry. Hurry. I was like, how I'm talking with my dinner kitchen.

Who is that? That was not, yeah. That's more like classic jarls. Oh, jarls. I had been doing comedy maybe for three years and every, I mean, you remember Paul, all the mystery. Yeah, the mystery. Four years ago.

I was going to say the same thing. But all the mystery show people were, you know, had a hard, sent a humor, you know. Yeah. And I was used to that. And I was still working with non-coms, non-comedians and non-commissioned officers. So there's millions. And I, and there was a waitress whose Gentiles.

There was a waitress whose husband had passed away. Oh boy. Three years earlier, I think something like that. And she made a joke about being a widow or whatever, and I made a really hard joke about it, and she just burst into tears. Oh, no! And I like took her in the back,

and I was like, I am so, so, so sorry. Shut up. There are things that I'm allowed to joke. Where at work? Took her in the back, stop being hysterical. No, but that's horrible. I didn't take her in the back. She was in the back and I went to her.

Did I ever tell you this joke, not joke? Well, hold on, wait. Let me rephrase the whole story. Rephrase, counselor. This was an experience I had talking to somebody I didn't really know. And if you've heard it, spank me. But. Oh, boy. I didn't really know. And if you've heard it, spank me. But.

Ooh boy. I'm rubbing my hands. Are we canceling spanking, by the way? Yeah, I don't think we should spank it. Spanking is cancel. But you had a really different reaction about it, excuse me, the other day. Yeah, I was like, oh, spanking is canceled.

I spank, I need Kevin to say spanking is okay and not on Mike because I feel like that puts too much pressure Holy and Kevin. We also like we should treat him with the same respect at Hollywood handbook The thing is that what exactly and shavin is a funny funny man and he's able to joke and so looks are never They're Oh Yeah, I fucking the back I'm so sorry. Kevin, I should've said that. Anyway, we assume Kevin is cool with it. We will, but Rob was here. But that is the kind of thing where people say, she's seen us. She's cool with it.

And then the whole time, that's just later. Exactly. So we need it in writing. This is a need-a-ill. Let me just tell you my story. Okay. So I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was at, I was We need it in writing. This is a need-a-ill. Let me just tell you my story. Okay.

So, I was at, I kind of was like casually at like a dinner or drinks before a show with a group of people. Just casually that. You're all over the place. Was it dinner or drinks? It was drinks. Jesus. I only knew one person well who was there, but they were like, come by here at the bar

before your show. Franklin company. It was literally love who bell. Yeah. Right. And I went and I sat down and I knew a few of the people sort of but there was one girl I had never met before. And we're just making small talk and then she was like TV writer or something. And I was like, she said something to the effect of, oh well, I just, I haven't written. This is the longest someone on the show has gone without being interrupted. And now I'm trying to be polite, but it's.

It felt weird to me. Honestly, it's why I'm like stammering because I'm like, can someone make fun of me? Or something? Why is it so quiet? Why am I getting through? Why is it so quiet? Why am I getting through? Why is it so quiet? Yeah, because it's easier for me to think when everyone's talking.

It gives you a little break, right? Yeah. She was like, she said something like, I haven't been working for the last eight months or something. And then I said, oh, what have you been up to? And she said, I had a baby. And I said, oh, congratulations. What's its name?

And she goes, it died. And then I burst it on you. And then I burst it here. Because I felt so bad. And she was like, I'm kidding. I wrote a script. It was like, she never had a baby at all. And then, and I was like, oh, okay.

And then I felt crazy because everyone there knew her. I knew she didn't have a baby. And knew she knew her. I knew she didn't have a baby. I knew she was kidding because I knew she didn't have a baby. But I didn't know her. And then I was like crying. And I was like, I'm so sorry. I can't stop crying because I can't catch up to that. Like I don't understand what just happened.

Right. And then that was like it. Oh man. Yeah. And it was that. How was this script? So funny. And she's amazing. No, but it really like. Man, how was this script? So funny.

And she's amazing. No, but it really like, it was just that joke, like 20 times. I was working out play, but it's just that. That, I hate that kind of thing so much. That kind of like, I'm gonna tell you a lie. Yes, I'm gonna tell you a lie that you don't know me. This could be, I'm gonna say it in a flat tone

that's like, why, you have no reason to doubt me, and then I'm gonna call you an idiot, because you're a beefed man. Have you ever seen that person again? No, but you probably know this person. Oh shit. I'll tell you off, Mike. This is crazy.

Do you want to know now, you can just cut it out. How role burn it? It's. And we're back. Oh, that is crazy who that is. He all didn't know her. I probably know where I don't care.

Right. Anyway, she sucks. No, she's fine. If she's listening to this, don't do that. No, she's fine. Don't do that. Don't do that. Please don't do that.

She can make lousy house pet. What is that? That was an SNL sketch that I always thought was Dana Carvey and then I realized it was Mike Myers. Oh, yes. It was a not successful one that they tried a couple times. Don't make me pull up my spank. Yeah.

Yeah, it's come up on the show before. But I'm glad I had the chance to say it was not Dana Carvey's my plan. Here's the other thing about the spanking. Shevon doesn't have to be the one to spank. That was kind of the built-in rule, but no. You did a self-spank last time. You did a self-spank. I do. I feel like.

We have spanking pens. I'm uncomfortable spanking you. No, you're not. I think we have a spanking. We have too many spanking implements now. Okay, here it's got to be. We have a lot. We have some really good ones.

Fine, here's what's up then. We need a new punishment. We need new punishment. We have too many spanking pens. It's overkill. We're done. what's up then. We need a new punishment. We need new punishment. We have too many spanking pens, it's overkill. We're done. It's too much. What do we do?

What is a good, okay, if you're a parent. Yeah, slap me. What can replace spanking? I think you have to. It's time out. Time out. Here's what I think. Time out?

Should we do time out? I think it's homework. Sit in the corner. Homework. I think you have to write one page, a one page apology. While everyone else is talking. No, you have to bring it to the next. Homework. I think you have to write one page, a one page apology. Well, everyone else is talking. No, you have to bring it to the next episode.

Oh. You have to do it at home. Fuck. You'll never do it. I would totally do it. I love homework. I will crush and get an A. Wait, it's judged?

Yeah. We have to read it. Yeah, it's judged by the other two people. What grade do you have to get in order for it to be successful? And it has to be an A or else after a while, right? There's an A or F. Yep. What the hell? What the hell?

What the hell? What the hell are you doing? What the hell are you up to? Do you know who I was making like just now? Who? The maiden ghost busters. Oh, yeah. One of the greatest one line of moments.

What the hell are you doing? Yeah. She crawls out from behind the cart. That's cool. That's really cool. I like the idea that you could have one line of movie that everyone's like, I'll always remember you saying you're one line. Except I can't even picture her.

Oh, I can picture. Oh, really? Very clearly. Oh, I wanted to tell you this story. Oh, great. Is it gonna be as long and? No, this one's written down. Scattered as, oh, okay.

By the way, it's actually amazing that I wasn't able to think of how that story went because I've told it like 20 times. I thought it's so shocking. Okay. Have you tried a little mic before? like 20 times. I thought it's so shocking. Okay. Have you told a little mic before? I don't believe I have my dear good boy. You're now sharing it with the paywall world.

Everyone who pays gets to know that story. Pay you play. This story, I thought was interesting. It was a news story from, well I guess 2003 is when it started. But this guy who was, I guess this was, now there's coughing in it. Come on, Lauren.

You know what? Can I just get it up? You might know this story. It was this guy who was put in prison for the murder of a teenage girl and for six months he was in jail. And then his lawyer found footage from Kirby Enthusiasm, where this guy was in his audience at a Dodgers game.

There's a Netflix documentary about that. I know, I watch the game. It's so good. Wait, I don't know anything about that. Basically, this guy went to jail for six months for killing this teenager, but he always said, I didn't do it. Right.

And his lawyer was able to approve that he didn't do it because he found him in the background. At Kirby Enthusiasm in a Dodgers game, he was an audience member. He was like, he in a Dodgers game. He was an audience member. He was like, he was there to the game. He was saying like, I was, I was, I was a Dodgers game. Yeah. And the proof of him being in a Dodgers game, but they found it in an episode of curb your

enthusiasm. And he was like, behind the actors like, with his daughter. And it did. Did he ever say like, Oh, by the way, the other part of my alibi is Larry David was. No, he didn't even know what that show really was. alibi is Larry David was sitting right in front of me. No, he didn't even know what that show really was. And so I really didn't even really remember that that was there. Do you want to hum to him?

Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. And then this is the thing I saw is that he's, so he received $320,000. They did play it when he was sentenced. Oh, it's hilarious. Guilty! Bum, bum, bum, bum. And he was like, what? That's it, that's it, that's it.

And then he had never watched the show before. But after his release, he became a devoted fan. Oh! And he was like, what? What? What is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what, what, what, it wasn't me. And then like, I was at that game. And I'm like, no one's listening to me. I'm saying, I didn't kill her. And then everybody's like, no, you did. How much would it take for you to go to jail? So you're saying money with 320,000 for six months do it? No, I think I'd be afraid to go to jail. I'm not an idiot.

I know you'll be afraid to go to jail. That's why I asked the question. If I would go to jail. I'm not an idiot. I know you'll be afraid to go to jail. That's why I asked the question. If I would go, if, okay, if they're like, you go to jail for six months, but then you get this amount of money and you never have to go to jail again. Well, this guy could go to jail again. All right. If you don't, you never, you don't do anything bad. Well, you think because he's like, he's owed a murder now. So you went for me. You went to jail. I think I'm, you didn't Maria, but he said, I guess you might as well murder someone. You know what? I actually don't know that there's an amount of money that would be worth losing. Really? So even if it was like $10 million. Fine. I'll do it. What kind of jail

are we talking about? Regular old prison. But like, I'm gonna ask kicked and like, I'm gonna have some stuff for like extreme trauma and like tragic. The bloodshed crypts might do that. Yeah, I don't know. Or you know, someone might like, you know, like beat me up or like, you know, do something. I don't know, whatever happened, you can make the best of it,

you can be a model prisoner, you can keep out of people's way, it's up to you. They might beat me up or do something. I mean, I would definitely be a model prisoner. It's in the option. You work your so hot in prison. Honestly, by prison standards, I'm literally tired of banks. Do you walk in there being like, I was in Orange is the new black.

I'm like, I kind of know how this whole thing works. I was a CEO and I get the exact. So I really relate to you guys. I really do watch Orange is the new black. I watched the first season. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just curious if you were. I think I watched the first season. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I'm just curious if you're I think I was the first Tommy in it. Yeah, so you yeah, were you in it after the first season? I was in the second season

Don't call me baby if you can't return my text. Yeah, you've just seen the gift I was in the first and second season. Okay, mm-hmm cool. Yeah, I just was curious You know, did you guys ever see me in Frazier? No, I actually really want to. Well, you should. You ever see me in Jesuit? I don't know if it is. No, but I would find, I'll find all your questions. That's how you do. I did find your clip from Gold Member.

Oh, really? Yeah, that's on YouTube. Is it really terrible? Yeah. I never made just shoot me. I auditioned many times. That is so crazy me, because he loved Mr. Show and he had all of us on.

Yeah, you think. I think the only reason I got on was because I was- Who was casting? I think. I reason I got on was because I was, who was casting? I think. I don't even remember. Don't remember. Don't remember, although I did go to a recebious rad ferd for my audition.

And they said, well, that was interesting. That's not what we thought it should be at all. I remember this. Let me get the producer. But it was like, you had a take on it. I had a take on it that they were like, that's the character. I don't even know how it was written because when I read it, I was like,

oh, I get how to do this. And they were like, I did it. I did it for like, me. All the above Ron would say it like that. But then they thought it was so funny. They kept rewriting the lines and giving me new jokes. What was the character?

Goldberg? Okay, so you Goldmember, Goldberg. You only do gold in this. I only love gold. So what did you have to do? I was in an art class with Maya and I was asking the teacher. She's great. Asking the teacher if I could have more time or something out of you remember. And then one day I think I told you this that I showed up really, really late on the second day because I got the wrong call sheet. I don't remember this. So your homework

can be put on. Okay. So I do remember this as I was leaving. They gave me a call sheet and said, okay, here's your call time for tomorrow. And I looked at it. It was like 11 a.m. I'm like, sweet. And I show up at 11 a.m. I'm like, Hey, everyone, just really calm. They're like, where were you? And I said, I'm here at 11 a.m. I'm like, hey everyone, just really calm. They're like, where were you? And I said, I'm here at 11 a.m. What do you mean? They're like, your call is at 9 a.m. You were looking at the big number at the top or something?

No, no, they gave me the day before his call sheet. Oh, no. And I was like, I went to my car and got it. I said, see, here's my call sheet. And as far as they know, I'm just showing them the day before it's called. Yeah, exactly. I swear to God.

And they were all like, yeah, that's fine. Oh, fuck. What's the rush? What's the rush? I worked on a show where it was a multi-cam sitcom and the... Multiple cameras. Yeah, there was like two...

Don't you want multi-cam and single cam are weird to say because there are multiple cameras and single cam as well? Well, they shorten multiple and make it multi. Why are they not shortening single and calling it sink cam? C cam. Because C cam is a medicine, I think.

Z cam. Z cam. Mm hmm. Placam. Z cam. Mm hmm. Is a hundred percent. We are having dinner with another couple last night.

And the wife and the other couple is not in show business. And so we were talking about, single cam and multi-car. How do you talk? Yes, exactly. Is it, what do you do all day? I just had a baby. I thought, I was so-

She was asking us the difference between single cam and multi-cam. Why do they call them that? Idiot. And we were trying to explain it. She was like, but wait. She couldn't, it was, she was having a hard time understanding what, what, like why, why are some shows multi-cam and why are some shows single cam?

Yeah. Like, if it's a comedy, what's the difference between why you shoot it in front of an audience, why you don't? It also doesn't even make sense anymore because shows like, you know, parenthood, for example, use two or three cameras when they're shooting the scenes. It's true. Well, that's the dirty secret of this. Isn't it, no? We use more than one camera.

Oh my gosh. I anyway, so I'm working on this multi-cam sitcom from a live audience. The wardrobe person for the next scene that I was in put the wrong outfit in my closet. And so I go and change into the wrong outfit. Oh, shit. And I come back and then somebody's like,

you're in the, you know, one of the producers like you're in the wrong clothes. That's for a different scene. And well, I did not throw her under the bus, but people made fun of me. Oh my God. For the rest of the night. I can't believe you didn't just go.

And what did they call you? Like Johnny Roncloth? They're like, I used to hear you're in the right clothes. It was, oh, you know, it was like, it was a lot of little dumb jokes for the rest of the, for the rest of a long night. And you just ate it. I just ate it.

I just ate it. And did you ever say to her like, I'm eating it. She thanked me early on, but like very like, hey, thank you. Like, well, I could use a little more than that. Yeah, really. This is still happening.

Give me part of your paycheck. Yeah. Did you feel like your clothes were so different from what they were supposed to be that it was obvious to ever, I don't think I ever know. Yeah, was it like you were wearing a cowboy outfit? It was, well, that's what, you know, I think that was the, the,

it must've been the script supervisor that caught it, or, you know, somebody, it wasn't like wildly, I mean, it was like all different suits and ties, you know what I mean? Right, but I'm saying like, for everyone to make fun of you, it's like, it's not like it's like you walked in and you're wet suit and this is, Yeah, I know, right. Watching TV.

I know. Here's why they made fun of me, because in front of the audience, I was told I was in the wrong costume and then I had to go and get changed and come back. Oh, and everyone booed. Now it's a bit, they booed me. Boo.

People had wrong clothes. Old fruit. Wow, that was their snack that they give them. They put me in stock. All right, look, we need to take a break. We'll be right back. What's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up,

what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's um, me. You know what? I like the audience. We like you as well. We like you.

Yeah, we're like the audience at home. You guys like, like you talked about this before. No, no, we, we, we checked in before the show. We were like, we, we like ball, right? Well, I always call a scop before we start recording. And I just say, like, are we all still in the pong? Is this okay? Wow.

Are we down with him? Why? How are're done with him. Are we down? Are we down? I turned it to a lion. Wow. I turned it to a lion. You noticed me? I turned it. Didn't you notice me? I turned it to a lion. Welcome back. Have you ever turned into a lion? Yes. Oh. Are you asking the audience? Sure. We want your get at your phones. Yeah, you're looking at what's your favorite animal? Oh, this is tough. You don't like animals, I bet. I do like animals. No pets. No pets, but I do like animals. But what I had a dream. Here's the thing. I love animals, fucking I don't have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have How's the do-do they put you did not think that I did but there's a picture of a do-do do-do They had a super cut of animals hugging Yeah, animals hugging other animals hugging people animals hugging other animals. Okay. It's nice

So some were people somewhere animals. Yeah animals are people too people are animals too. I should say mm-hmm So and what is it for? And you liked it. I liked it. I liked stuff like that. I like cute dogs and cats. Uh-huh. So what's your favorite animal, Paul?

It's really tough. Say it, don't spray it. It might be. You make a better door than a window. Ha-ha-ha. A stupid time seems to be. Where is it, a barn? I want the news, not the weather.

Also, the reason a barn is like the, you know, the thing of the barn is not to keep the door open all the time. I agree. Where's the barn doors? That's been one of those. They're open sometimes. Freezes of my existence.

That's not the default. Is the worst phrase of existence? It's the worst phrase of existence. It's gotta be done. We have to be over with. Cancel, where you barn a barn? Cancel. Cancel. If you born a barn? Cancel. Cancel.

If you don't close your barn door, it's fine, right? Who cares? All the animals get out, my man. They're in a good pens. Can't close the barn door once the horse gets out. Don't you feel like, because of how it was to be a child, you might have been under the impression that you'd be spending a lot more time on farms

group when you grew up because so many games and toys and songs are geared towards. I had to do like old McDonald's. I had a barn setup that I love. Fisher price step on. Yeah, I love that. I thought I'd be spending times and barns not barns and nobles. Oh god. That's a Scotch Oak. spending times in barns, not barns and nobles. Oh God. That's a Scotch joke. I have to go home. That's a good one.

That is textbook. Textbook Scotch joke. Textbook does. Talkswalks, I told. When I was young, my... Talkswalk, Scotch, oh! Did you see the new Star Wars trailer? No.

I will never watch it. Talkswalk, Scotch, oh! Unless they put me in one. And then I'll watch all. You auditioned for one. I did. How'd it go? Bad, I didn't get it. I think it went well. I have no idea it was so fake. Were you holding a lightsaber? No they had you do stuff from Lingerag. Yeah the script was so like I have

no context. The Glankari Leage. Yeah would have been cool I guess. No I know it would have been cool. You would have been inter-bullied forever. People would hate you now. They hate all the people in Star Wars. Yeah, because why? Because they're ruining it or something? Yeah, it's always really. I thought about doing a podcast series where I watched all the Star, I've never seen them

and I watched all Star Wars and talk about them. Then I was like, I really don't want to do that. But what about, what about, some of them are really fun movies. What about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, you count those what about what about what about what about Ooby what do you know me? But you don't like him I like you cool you like you like Well, there we go What about pours so we start with that's my favorite we start with return to the Jedi just the Ewok portions Yeah, yeah, I don't know pause You were gonna tell us a dream you had. I had a dream.

We gotta go back to it. That because my wife often will ask. Why? Why? My wife. My wife. My wife. She'll often ask about getting a dog.

What? Who's she asked? She would like to have a dog. She asked me. Like, should we get a dog? Not her dad. a lot of times No her dad will not talk to her about dogs. They have a very loving relationship But as far as dogs go

all my mates She'll a lot of times she'll I think like trying to do a psychological move on me. She'll say you want a dog Yeah, does it work ever? No Here's the thing. I do love dogs, but I don't, the amount of care that they require. Yeah. I don't wanna do that.

I, I, I, I, I, I, it's a lot when Rocky passed away. Rip. Um, all right. I, I, I you that? From everyone including Kula. I just kept it off. I went and visited him. Yeah, it's his own little apartment. And I'm just like surprising Kula up like two years later. But he's about to die. Well,, he passed away in September. No, but this year.

No, but I'm just saying the month. In the year that he passed away, it was the month of September. Do you remember? Yeah, and you refused to acknowledge what year it was. And I will say it was the morning after Jess and Tim's wedding. And I was hungover and not in the mood for it. Did he have to be put down or did he die? Oh, dogs.

Final fuck you. It's a bad story. He had been having trouble. You don't talk. No, it's okay. We, uh, uh, he was at the vet's because they were taking care of him and trying to figure out what was wrong with him. And they said, come, come by at noon to pick him up. And we left at, it's 10 minutes away.

We left at, uh, 10 of noon and weren't checking our phones and in that 10 minutes, he died. Oh, that's crazy. 10 of noon and weren't checking our phones and in that 10 minutes he died. Oh, that's crazy. Yeah. So when we got there, everyone was running around, like looking worried and we just kind of plopped down, like we're here to pick up our dog, you know? And then I noticed there's like all this weird stress

and people are looking at us really weird, who work there and I go, I think something's wrong and the doctor came out and said, you know, people down the mask, right. They had a dog face on it. We did. And he talked like Rocky and he was like,

remember me? I'm dead now. You're like, what? That just happened. That's how doctors should tell you. They should. Remember me, I'm dead now. You're like, what? What just happened? That's how doctors should tell you. They should. Remember me, I'm dead now. Oh.

But in the four months, between then Ku-Lop got Georgia like right away and I think she admits now that it was purely a grief move and purely just like. People do that without dogs. It's extremely common, right? And I was like, not ready for it. So, but in that four months, I was kind of like,

God, I can do anything now. Yeah, yeah. I don't have to constantly be like, coming home at five. Well, yeah, I mean, I have a cat in a dog, and my cat is like 13 or 12 or something. But my old cat lived in like 21 or yeah, she's just she's still of that weird thing where she's.

I'm a lot or yeah, she kind of does, but I kind of figured out a couple little solutions for it. She's crying. Well, I tweeted about it because she would be she was like, suddenly sort of like, oh, all the time at night. And it was so annoying. And then people were like, they might have the time at night and it was so annoying. And then people were like, they met a tweet I got that were like terrifying,

you know, diagnoses. It was like, she's gone blind and she can't see it night anymore and she's scared and she's me out. And then it's like, then someone was like, maybe she's deaf. And then I, that people were like, she has kept the bench.

She's dying. She had dementia that she like, does know what's going on. And I was like, it doesn't feel true just based on my interactions with her I think what it really is And they're mice From

I Think um She just really likes attention at night when I'm asleep and she wants me to notice. No, she's there. But that's a recent. It's fairly, it's like I've noticed it more recently, but I think one thing I did was like I usually closed the door to this one part of my house and I left it open and now she like can go there and I think that's part of it.

She couldn't be in a different space. Okay. And then the other thing is I think she's always thirsty, but I. So thirsty. I've noticed that about her She's real thirsty bitch, but have you ever had cats? No, I never Like to drink out of the tub and sink and stuff and so my cat will drink I turn the tub on like all the time for her And she drinks out of it but like lately what's what happening is she drinks too much and then she throws up

So I water yes. It's happened twice. And so I have to turn it off like in just a second later. She just either for ever drinking it. And then she'll be like, I'm gonna do that. The barf is like pure wet like she was, okay so it was like a sleep. I turned it on, I got to pee, turned it on.

Just a dribble you know. Really? Oh, I thought you were like turning on the hint. I don't know, it's just like going to sleep. It's a little very, very know? I thought you were like turning on the internet. No, no, it's just like, it's a little, very, very teeny little stream of water. She likes it. And Mikey. K Mikey, I got him back in bed,

and then I wake up to the sound of like, it sounds like water just splashing on my sheets and floor. And it's not Mike. And it's not Mike taking a big shit. It's my cat, barfing over the side. It's a mic. It's my cat barfing over the side. Mike at barfing over the side. And it was like so much. And it was like pure water. And it was I mean, it was full of tube. It was just so gross. Why did you start talking about your cat? Was it to tell this story? No, you asked me if she was still meowing. No, but before that,

you brought up your cat and you were saying, she's 13. That she's going, yeah, thanks. That she's like gonna, you know, I don't want her to die ever. I don't want any of my pets to die, but I also. None of them. None of them. Okay. I don't, I find that hard to believe, but okay. Let me tell you what, true.

My old cat loves to be 21, and this cat is 13, so and she's an indoor cat, so my sister's probably got another seven years, I would guess. Sure she does. But it could go, however, but I have thought. The Puget cat probably has seven more years. Sure, fine. And Kayao, you're getting your house.

She gets it out. My whole point is just that I have thought when she dies, it might be nice to not have to clean the litter and think about cat hair and like all the things that I have to deal with all the time. And, but then I also feel like I'll probably get another pet. Like I just like having animals around when I'm away. It's very nice. It's a trade-off. It's like, you know,

what you get for all having to do all those things is that you have this little companion that is a really nice thing. And then when I got a dog, it was a whole new world, because I never really had a dog. And she liked this so excited to see me and wants to cuddle with me. She sleeps in the bed. And I said, some theaters this summer. We're sponsored by Aladdin, are we? We're standing by the genie. Just the genie. See the genie in Aladdin. Close one of your eyes. And only see the genie. Oh, so I had a dream that we had...

Finally, back to the dream. We had five gigantic dogs of different big dog breeds. And I loved it. Wow. I loved it. You were like running all around and I was like wrestling and hugging them and it was so much, they were the best. They were the best dogs.

And it's because for some reason I'm talking about St. Bernard's a lot lately. That might be my favorite animal. I don't know. I actually saw one. I love St. Bernard's. Like on TV maybe yesterday and I was like, that's a nice looking dog.

Do you ever want a big dog? I find, okay, so cool up sister, I guess I should say my sister-in-law has a really legal list. You'll lock it down. You'll lock it down. You'll lock it to you. People don't talk about that. You lock down your in-laws as well.

It's a whole deal. Yeah, they're proposed to them as well. My father-in-law, yeah, I made it legal. If any of them said no, the whole thing was off. She has a really big dog. Who's scary to me? Like a homestay jumping on. What's weird is Yeah, I don't really knew Finland I'm sure you have those times in those homeless guys would jump on you When you're paying them

Fuck you go down look guys It's like bump fights, but a little different. Here's what I want you to do. Here's what's up. I need you to jump on me Just jump on me. I mean you hold the camera. There's like jump on me. How big can a dog be like 80 pounds more even more higher? 81 higher 82 one pound All right, let's take a break. We'll be right back We're back as well. You know what it's time for guys? What? Tell us Paul tell us tell us now. I'm gonna tell oh Keep it going. Keep them. Tell us Paul tell us now tell us Paul tell us tell us now a bridge tell us Paul tell us now bridge bridge DVD. What is it?

It's time for a feature. Oh, were you done? I thought you were saying a feature. Like you're going to say no, I don't know what the feature is. Okay, what's with the feature is? What is the future to us from as the suggestion? We'll give them a little bit of street cred. At two headed bar. Thank you. Oh, come on, that's not a real name.

This is the movie game. It's a game where one person says an actor, the next person says a movie that actors in, the following person says another actor from that movie, the next person says a movie that that actor's in, so on and so forth, until hopefully you can expect the original movie at the end. Here's the thing, whoever connects back wins and whoever can't come up with.

Hold on, just put on the song, please, if we're gonna make... Okay, new rules? Okay, these are new rules. Okay. So you're trapped, it's sort of too prompt. You're trying to trap the next person so that they can't come up with an answer, and if that happens, they're out. But you're also trying to make sure that the person can't link back to the original movie, because if they do that, they win. Okay.

Did I tell you something? I was not paying attention because I was dancing. Same thing. I caught one at the end and I thought, it'll make sense when we say something. Yeah, sure. I don't know. So you're trying, the one is who cares? You don't really wanna help the person meet with an easy one. When you give an answer, you're trying to knock them out because if they can't think of something, then they're out.

As my friend said, but you're also trying to make sure that they can't link back to the original thing. Does that quote from Mama? She might say. She might just say that. If I may quote Mama, knock you out. Mama also said that we be days like this. God, mama.

She also told me not to come. So did Frankie Hollywood. Okay, ready? Does everything tell me not to come? Frank, Frank, both mama and Frankie, where do you want to come? Relax, don't do it. But where do you want to come? Where do you wanna come? Relax, don't do it. But where do you, but where do you wanna come?

When you wanna come. So relax is about sex. What? All songs are. Honestly, didn't know. The songs are either about sex or drugs. Relax, don't do it. When you wanna go through it.

Relax, don't do it. When you wanna come. Is that literal? It is that little it was a scandal at the time. Did I tell you that I did a lip sync? Oh, it's disgusting. I hope they're in jail. I did a lip sync to Franky.

The people who are against it. You did. Yes, you did. I'm glad that I did. You're amazing John Lennon material. And we're gonna have a paragraph on it if you're so desire. Oh, no, it's a paragraph. Oh, a paragraph is big. Okay, Lauren, are you gonna start us off? Yes. She'll never be able to think of it.

She'll never do it. I love this. She's so bad. She's already losing. She's sweating. Look at her. She's crying. She's calling Mike.

That's gonna be picked up. The original hairspray. The original hairspray. The original hairspray. The original hairspray. The original hairspray. And then who goes next? You. Uh, divine. Pink flamingos.

This is going to be very short. John Waters. What's the in it? Doubt it. Do we need a new ruling? Mink stole. Yeah, the song. John Waters and actor in Pinkfimigos.

Let me start. You could have said, Ricky Lake. Yeah, well, you picked a hard one. All right. Fine, fine, fine, fine. So you, so no, you're not out and then it goes to No, I want to start over. It was a bad one.

All right, all right. Let's clear the joke. Come on. Where you want to start over. It was a bad one. All right, all right. Let's clear the day. Where you want to come off? We want to come. Relax. Start over. Okay. Instant family. What is Rose? Okay. Neighbors.

Seth Rogan. The pineapple. a man named Danny McBride. This is hard for me. She made her mouth very small. Oh, if you never seen Lawrence mouth this small, she's really the tiniest of Dicks could fit in there. Oh, Scott. I don't just get for you, Paul. No Fuck I don't fucking know. Hey, don't let him get your hand. No, no, any I think I'm as being on TV. I can't think of movies. You think he's a TV actor? I can't think of the movies

Not a single movie that he's ever been. Nope. You're out. Dynamic bride to you, Paul. Foot fist way. Don't know what that is. Will Farrell. Ooh, we'll Farrell. What movies has he been in?

Holmes and Watson. Thank you. Lauren Lapkus. Wow, I love this game. Jurassic World. Oh my God. The crypt keeper. Hey, Chris Pratt. What was the original movie, by the way?

In-sit family. Thank you. I will never win because I don't know what it is. It's good to remember. Chris Pratt to me, right? I will never win because I don't know what it is. It's good to remember. Okay. Um Chris Pratt to me, right? Yes, sir This is a tough one. I'm gonna sure well, I'm trying to think I'm trying to you're trying to win. You're trying to win No, I'm not even trying to you know, let's go. You're not trying to win. Why are we trying to keep the game going for fun? All right, I can no you're not trying to win. Why are we trying to play? I'm trying to keep the game going for fun. All right, I hope.

Am I back in? No, you're not. Shut the fuck up. Good to check in though. I have to. Chris Pratt to you. Guardians of the Galaxy. Which one?

I finished the title, so. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't interrupting you. You're about to say volume two. You're not interrupting me, but you are trying my patience. Volume two. Shit, I knew it. That change is everything. Carousel.

Yeah, he's good. The hateful eight, Walton Goggins. Yeah. Oh, uh-huh. Another Walton Goggins film. Yep.

Mm-mm-mm. Ah, ah, ah. I saw him in a billboard the other day. Get off your phone, Lauren. Get off your, ah. I saw him in a billboard the other day. Get off your phone. Lauren, get off your fucking phone. This is tense. She's allowed to be on her phone. No, she's not.

When we're looking up fucking people, you're talking about, because I don't know what's going on. Why is it? Are you looking at Walton Dawgons? I was going to, because I just talked about him the other night, because I was like, his name's Walton Dawgons.

And then I was like, that's the end of my part of the conversation. A friend of mine once said he's dead. No, he's not. A friend of mine once accidentally said his name is Jesus Christ. A friend of mine once accidentally said his name is Google Watkins. Google Watkins. Oh, Google Watkins. Who's that guy? Google Watkins. I can think of one. Well, good, four, eight.

But that's the only one I can think of. And you didn't see it. You know, I didn't see this movie. I am fairly certain you didn't see it. Interesting. No one's out. Although it has an ear wolf connection. This is very intriguing.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, this added some drama to this. I'm going to say vice principal is the movie. No, I win. You win. What was it? Tomb Raider. Is there a subtitle on Tomb Raider?

Tomb Raider, the Sea of Justice. Raiden the Tomb. The Tomb's again. Yes. Didn't Hazel's wife write that? Yes. Yep. I knew it. Uh, yes. Uh, didn't haze his wife write that? Yes. Yep. I knew it.

There we go. I fucking win. Sorry, miss Gavin Port. What is Instant Family? Who's in it? Mark Walper. What is Instant Family? What is Instant Family?

Well, they adopt some kids. They get a family over. Got it, really, guys. You stand in some family. These kids, yeah, these kids. I understand. You stand in some family. Come on, stand. These kids, oh, these kids. I understand. Say, an idea mother for me. Her.

Say, an idea mother. Is that it? Yeah. No, that was it. All right, you do it again. Say, an idea mother. Do it. Say, an idea mother.

If you can't get it, I'm going to kick your ass. You're a scientist. You're a seed to happen. Yeah, that happening. Let's play again. Hey, You're a scientist. You're a seed to happen. Yeah, that happening. Let's play again. Hey, I'm a scientist. Hey, there's someone with some going on with the flowers. The plants are mad.

He's the one who wakes up at like two a.m. Just start working out and he eats 10 breakfasts. And then he like, I had a friend who did that. And I can't, I was just like, is it worth it? But he was really good looking and got a great body. Always worth it. But is it worth it? Like are you really good looking and got a great body. Oh, it's worth it. But is it worth it? Like, are you having fun?

Are you having any fun? I mean, look, the thing about exercise is if you get into the habit of it. No, but he was doing it for real. Like to where he was like super jacked and so forth. But here's the thing, if you get super jacked, then you're just maintaining your jackness. I know, but is it worth it?

I guess every woman wanted to fuck him, so. Would that be worth it? Like I could do it, I bet. He probably liked looking in the mirror. I could like do himself, and you'd happy. Was it worth it? Could you get Super Jack, could you get Super Jacks if you like, and I'm talking like,

like on my own, like abs. Like without it, like, I'm saying, no, you have a trainer or whatever, whatever you need to do. Like, could you do it? I think if I, I think I could do it, I don't think it would ever be that important to me. Right, but you could do it. If I had to do it for a thing, I could do it.

Yeah, I want to, I'm gonna direct a movie with starring you, but you have to get super jacked like a Marvel had to do it for a thing. Yeah, I could do it. Yeah, I want to I'm gonna direct a movie with starring you But you have to get super jacked like a Marvel movie to do it. Okay. Okay, honestly Am I guaranteed to be in this movie? Yes, or is it the the condition is first gift? Well, yeah, you have to you can audition you have to strip to the waist in the audition room and there's no It's not like to the waist in the audition room. And there's no audition. It's not like, okay, you're, I'm gonna have you read your opinion. I do have to take my clothes off for you, but there's no audition.

Yes. This sounds like something else now. It's private, but it's fun. It's private, but it's fun. And all that happens in the audition is you take off your shirt and I look at you and I judge you as to whether you're jacked enough. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something.

Let me tell you something. If I got to that point where I was that jacked, I'd be taking my shirt off all the time. I know. I know. I would never wear a shirt. I would love it. What stops everyone from doing it? It's so hard to howling.

How? Well, first of all, okay, if you're a huge Jackman, huge Jacked man. He had to do it, he had to work out probably four, five hours a day, and you got to eat the chicken breasts. I had no idea it was that much. All you can eat is a chicken breast and like a little tiny bit of rice or something like that.

So those are the sacrifices in order to get like him. I feel like, but I feel like we could get a version of it, right? Oh, you mean like just healthy? No, I don't mean even trim down. I mean like you build up your muscle, you look jacked. So she's huge, jacked man. And you wanna be reg health man. I feel like it would be...

Now you're just speaking my language. I feel like it would be... I feel like it would be... I feel like it would be at least two hours a day. Yeah. Every day. I work out like four hours a week, Max, of like, I'm taking a class four times a week. This week I was, oh. I take a variety, you know what? I actually don't wanna say because I don't want anyone to.

You don't want weirdos dropping back. They're a fucking elf. I finally got back into it this week after being deathly ill for the past six weeks and having worked on a project that I couldn't work out during for the previous year. And yeah, and it's like I can do about an hour and I did it six days this week. But like I feel like a commitment to doing that is at least two and a half something like that.

And you got to do it with a trainer. Yeah, I love sugar. I love candy. It's really hard for tonight. I feel like I'm doing it just so I can eat sugar and drink wine and shit like that. Like, I'm, you know, I'm not doing it. Yeah. If you want to get jacked like that, you, that requires a, um, that's like such a commitment of your, your whole life where you are thinking about that. Well, I mean, obviously when you start you're thinking about it all the time. I mean, to get to the point where it's second nature, where like, I eat these things and I don't.

You can't actually think about what I can't eat. I'm just saying this is what I will eat. I got there for the TV show, which I had to do for five years. And then I would let it lapse in between seasons and be really bummed. And then like have to like get back down to a waiter, whatever. But like once you're in that headspace of like, oh, no, I don't eat that.

It's fine. Yeah, yeah. But I just think it would be fun to do for a waiter, whatever. But once you're in that headspace of like, oh no, I don't eat that, it's fine. But I just think it would be fun to do for a role. And just do it for one movie and then go, oh, fuck, thank God, I can eat whatever I want. I'm sure there's a constraint that's put on you in a way that makes you healthier. It's like good. Oh, I can't do this thing for this whole time

because of this greater purpose or something. It's great. I feel like even just when I'm working, I don't drink as much. I don't do this thing for this whole time because of this greater purpose or something. It's great. I feel like even just when I'm working, I don't drink as much. I don't wear your sits. Well, I just went for a physical for the first time in a couple of years. I went to a new doctor and as I'm going in,

I'm thinking, oh, I hope he gives me a lot of restrictions. Yeah. Because then it's like, I would like to have some structure to my life. Yeah, because then it's like, well, I can't backslide on this that or whatever like I just started going back to the gym the last couple months And I used to be really good about it and then I had You know, I had a bout of depression Which first of all that that affects your motivation

But then also then you get a medication which causes you to gain weight Yeah, and then it's, it's a whole thing. So now I'm in a good place where I'm trying to take care of myself again. And I was thinking, man, it would be great if the doctor said, here's what you have to do. You can't do these things anymore. I will say a couple years ago, I went to the doctor. Even though I could just do that. I said, no.

I'm sorry, but someone's harder. But I went to the doctor and was told like, oh, you have to have this type of diet, which is like, it's one of the just all protein diets and you have to like have no carbs and stuff like that. And I did it for six months. I was just like, I wanna kill myself. It's just not, I mean, if I was doing it for a role, it would be fun.

It's so, yeah. Wow. Because I was getting my food delivered, so I had to stay on it and all that kind of stuff and it was just like, I just life sucks, you know. But I will say, and maybe this is too... No, I think I can talk about it, but so my father is like, can't eat anymore. I don't know if I've told you this.

You've mentioned it but it was on. So he can't eat. So so he, he basically has the like a liquid diet that he puts into a tube, into a stomach. So, and this is a recent like over the past couple of years. And I was, and he was just kind of saying like, well, you know, like you think it's not going to be worth it, but it's like, well, you want to live. Right. You know, you'd rather than you'd rather not want to live. Right. You know, you'd rather not die.

Absolutely. Right. You know, so I find with things that I have to cut out, it's usually like, I don't know, two weeks to maybe a month to lose the taste of the thing. Yeah, whether it's alcohol or sweets or bread or whatever. Right. But the first little taste of it, I'm fucking back in. I like stop drinking Coke and like any pop

when I was in freshman college. And I had to say pop up saying soda feels like a lie. I feel like I'm just a small over. Yeah, they know what I'm talking about. Bubbly. But I used to drink it all the time. I drink so much Coke and whatever, all Mountain Duolet crap, but growing up, a ton of it loved it.

Stopped because I was getting headaches and I've never had it since I got, I've had like maybe a sip of coke like a couple times in the last 12 years or something. And it tastes insane to me now. Like every once in a while, it's like, I'll have a sip and it's like, that is pretty good. Well, I stopped that. Yeah, right. But at most of the time, I feel so syrupy and I drink it. I stopped having regular Coke maybe six years ago or something and would only have diet. And any time I take a sip of regular Coke,

it's crazy. Diet tastes horrible to me too. But like the, not having it all makes me think like, okay, well, if I completely cut out my Reese's peanut butter cup, so whatever, that's like your turn. That my turn, my turn. I was cut out my Reese's peanut butter cup, so whatever the thing, your turn. My turn. My turn. I was eating it. I was eating it.

How Reese's egg, so it looks like a big shit. But if I stopped, would I be like, eventually think it taste gross? Like in the same way. Well, they say that eating carbs activates. The recent study is now that like, if you have a carb meeting, like, if you drink a glass of wine, it's suddenly like trigger something in you where you want more carbs and it's just like a big cycle

of like, and it happened, I find it myself at night, like I'll have a glass of wine and go, God, where's that bag of chips? Oh yeah. You know what I mean? Cause it's just like carb, carb, carb. And this is the feature, by the way. This is the feature.

Paul, did you have one other thing you wanted to say about this before we play one last game? One last. I have no idea where we, by the way. This is the feature. Paul, did you have one other thing you wanted to say about this before we play one last game? One last. I have no idea where we are at the show. Okay. All right, one last, give us one more movie. No, I don't want to start it. Okay, I want it.

You start it. I don't know, this is the first thing I thought of. The Family Stone. Thank you, I love that one. Family stone. I don't even know what it is. Yeah, I think I'm going to sneak up to that. You're awesome.

Okay, go see you. Really, you're out. Yeah, I know. Luke Wilson. Who? Luke Wilson. Wow. No.

That's Luke Wilson, not Owen Wilson. Oh, no, look, yeah, that's you. No, I's Luke Wilson, not Owen Wilson. Luke Wilson. Oh no, Luke, yeah, that's you. No, I'm saying that you were doing Wilson. I was doing that's why it didn't sound to anything like Owen Wilson. I can't remember which one is which now. Luke Wilson's tower ever. Luke Wilson's is, wow.

And Owen Wilson's is, wow. Owen Wilson's the blonde one. Yeah, okay. Luke Wilson's the dark-cared one. Yes. Okay. Bill like a brick-shed house. Oh, Okay. Luke sexy blonde. Dark cared one. Yes. Okay. Bill like a brick shit house. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, all right. Luke Wilson. I'm gonna say the royal ten and bombs. Then stiller. I'm gonna say me the fuckers. The problem with just two is that you only see movies and I like to say actors.

Yeah. That's true. But Robert De Niro. Oh, shit. This is a game killer. The adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle. The fuck. I say, say, Bowenko.

Say, Bowenko. Say, Bowenko. Bowenko. He not real. He not actor. He, and other not actor. You know, there are movies. He, he not real.

He not another movie. And he gonna get us into a thing where we only say, Bowenko movies. Which is another game entirely. I don't know who's in that. Well, then I fucking what can you say who's in it? June for a June for a. She does the voice of rock in the squirrel. Okay, but that wasn't right.

What's that? You know that wasn't right. Why wasn't it right? I mean, it wasn't right. If you to pick that movie because you knew I wouldn't know what you. Yeah, but that's how you know that wasn't right why wasn't it right? I mean it wasn't right to you to pick that movie because you knew I wouldn't know what you yeah, but that's how you win the game That's fun. We can go on forever if you guys played nice We don't want to go on forever. We want to end this episode. All right. We have to now All right, so I won Paul won Lauren's loser. Fine the end

Eat your turds already dead LL more like LLL Triple losses. Law and loser. Lapkes. Law and loser. Lapkes. Law and loser. Lapkes.

Law and loser. Lapkes. That's a so title. Nope. See you next time. I'm a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little bit like a little