Threedom - Threevisiting: Glasses Say What?

Episode Date: December 24, 2024

Threevisiting on the Tues: Scott, Paul & Lauren discuss Wordle, fishing and sandwiches before playing Alphabetical Question Game. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Listen ad-free and unlock bi-weekly THREEMIUMS on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

They called it the happiest place on the high desert, home to a tight-knit group of 30-somethings who like to party. It starts as a Playboy Channel fantasy, but this is real life. Where passion leads to murder and a killer seeks God's help with the cover-up. I'm Josh Mankiewicz, and this is Deadly Mirage, an all new podcast from Dateline. Listen to new episodes for free each week, wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Reshma Sajjani, founder of Girls Who Code. Look, I'd consider myself a pretty successful adult woman. I've written books, founded two successful nonprofits,

and I'm raising two incredible kids. But here's the thing, I still wake up wondering, is this it? And if the best years are yet to come, when's that gonna start? Join me on My So-Called Midlife, my new podcast with Lemonada Media, where we're building a playbook for navigating midlife, one episode at a time.

Each week, I'll chat with extraordinary guests who've transformed their midlife crisis into opportunities for growth and newfound purpose. At some point, we all ask ourselves, is there more to life? I'm here to discover how to thrive in my second act right alongside you. My so-called midlife is out now, wherever you get your podcasts. Freedom! Freedom!

Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom!

Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom!

Hello? I made it a question. Hi! Hello. What song is that? Hi! Oh, that's Peter Gabriel. Oh, you know what I thought it was from? I'm on my way. Big time?

Yeah, big time. I thought it was from... Hi there! Always Be My Maybe. That's right! Always Be My Maybe! Always Be My Maybe. Have you watched that movie? I have. I really enjoyed it.

Oh my god, it's so good. I haven't watched it, but... Very good Romulus Comulus. There's? Oh my god. It's so good. I haven't watched it, but There it's like hi No, she's doing it exactly how it is You memorized it yeah, I did hi welcome to freedom. I'm Scott hi welcome to freedom. I'm Paul Hi, welcome to freedom. My name is Lauren Q. Lackes. Q?! For QAnon.

I'm Q. You've been Q this whole time?! Everybody, Lauren is JFK Jr. I have a lot of confessions. This is your confession. Deedle deed deed deed deed deed deed. I don't know this. It's an Usher song.

I love Usher. It's an Usher song. I love Usher. Who's Nusher? Nusher! It's a Nusher song. It's when you say it's another Usher song. A Nusher one. It really saves time. Let's time it how long it takes to say another Usher song versus

Nusher. Alright, here we go. Again, the old timer ready. Are you gonna remember the time both time and dear? Yes, sweetie pie. All right, Lauren, you wanna start? Yeah. So we'll start with another usher song.

Okay, three, two, one. Another usher song. One second. One second on the dot, wow. It took me a long time. Or watch this. One second. One second on the dot. Wow. It took me a long time. Watch this reset. And now a Nusher song. I'm going to show three, two, three, two, one. I'm not sure song. It's point 76.

Point seven, six. Interesting. So Scott, you think you could beat that? I I'm going to try. You have to try. Here we go. Three, two, one. Another Usher song. Wow. He's doing it like a DJ. I hit lap. Well, you have another chance.

That's what kept happening. I kept hitting lap. You hit cool-op? Do you call her lap? I call both. The two laps in your life. Lap, lap. Three, two, in your life. Lap lap. Three, two, one.

Another Usher song. That was 2.02 seconds. Whoa, nice. You're really making a meal of it. Okay, let's go. Okay, now an Usher. All right, reset. Three, two, one.

An Usher song. I clap again. God damn. Oh my God. Three, two, one. A Nusher song. Point 63. Yeah!

That was really fast. Do you want to be timed? Yeah, I would like to be timed. Oh, how nice. Remember, don't hit Lap. Whatever you do. What does Lap even do? Oh god, what do you think it does?

Door door? Throw your brain into the fires of door door. Okay. Everyone gets this. You know what you're saying first? Another Usher song, yes. Okay, that was not official and here we go. And go.

You still have time. How about a 3, 2, 1? I'm waiting for the countdown. Oh, sorry. Okay. I was timing that. And go. Okay.

3, 2, 1. Another Usher song. 0.95 seconds. 0.95. Wow. Now you're going to say. An Usher song. 3, 2, 1. Another Usher song. 0.95 seconds. 0.95. Wow. Now you're gonna say. An Usher song. Three, two, one.

An Usher song. I stopped even a little later, it was 0.68. You definitely beat it by a lot. Yeah, but did you beat my 6-3? A lot of time. Yes. Oh, okay, great. Technically you did.

Thank you for asking. You're welcome. Oh, God. I just Technically you did. Thank you for asking. You're welcome. Oh, God. I just want to read the text message that Paul sent us. Yeah, we got a wonderful text message today. God. I have hit some.

It's really sweet. I have hit some traffic and we'll probably, actually I'm gonna read it how it actually is. Please. Okay, read yours first. Okay, I said, I'll be there closer to 1.40. Scott gave that a thumbs up. So now you know what time we record.

Yeah, enjoy yourself, you freaks. It's later than you think, you freaks. Next time it hits 1.30, think about us recording. And then Paul said, I have hit some traffic and will be there probably a little after 1.40, you fucking asshole. The last part was for a guy who just cut me off you were dictating it right I've hit some traffic will be there at 4 1 40 you

fucking ass yeah and I read it and kind of thought no I deserve that harder next time harder daddyer freedom daddy. This has never happened to me before, but it happens to Nicole Parker, my friend Nicole Parker, a lot. That she's dictating a text and then starts talking to somebody in traffic. So what happened in traffic? Tell us about this f-ing a-hole I made. He left a real impression. And I'm sure it wasn't, man. We're trying to do this for kids now.

I was on a very busy street called Los Feliz Boulevard. Oh, yeah. I know that one. I've heard of it. I got onto it at a bad juncture, and that was on me. And so what happens is it's three lanes, and it narrows to two. Another juncture wouldn't be prudent. It narrows from three lanes to two lanes. And then, of course course there's all the people

in the fucking third outside lane like, oh, can you let me in? Those guys suck. Oh, doey, doey, doey. You're talking about that little lane where there's always cars parked, but then you can go a long way before the cars pop up. Exactly.

And so I let someone in, of course. Of course you can let one person in. You have to let somebody in. Then a little further on, as the traffic started moving in, another guy just came up and swooped in in front of me. That's dickish. It's totally dickish. And I saw him trying to do it, and so I edged up a little bit.

You love edging. You're edging. That's how I drive. You're always edging. Always edging, so I keep alert. Yeah. That'll keep you focused. On the wrong thing.

Boy, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh I should have declared ramming speed and then rammed it into his car. Ramming speed! Engage ramming speed!

I wish you were a robot. Lauren, from your lips to God's ears! Ramming speed! Engage ramming speed! Intruder detected! That's what I say when somebody gets in my lane. That's the way that Janie found out you were a robot. Janie found out you were a robot?

We gotta cut this part out. Oh no! Do you like my song? What if that's the way Janie found out you were a robot. We've got to cut this part out. Do you like my song? What if that's the way Jady found out you were a robot? She's been married to you for now. How many years now? 11 years. 11 years. I skipped COVID. We should have too. Yeah. God, if only I'd skipped it. Yeah, the first year of COVID was our 10th anniversary. Wow. It's coming up, it'll be 12 this year. It'll be 12, wow.

Wow. Yeah. Wow, Paul. Wow, Paul. So she's literally. Just another seven years to go. Until. No, until we split up.

Oh, right. No, we had it, we put a clock on this. Yeah, that's safe. You were like 19 and done, right? We were like, I don't want to get divorced out of acrimony. Let's just decide we'll do it before it gets bad. There should be like a legal thing where you can... Like an annulment?

Yeah, where you can... Where you can safely get out 20 years in. Safely get out, no one has to pay anyone anything. That'd be nice. No fault of ours. Too bad we live in California. Oh, too bad. Yeah, I agree. It's horrible here.

It's the worst. Don't come. None of you. Ever? It's full. Everything you're thinking, you Don't come. None of you ever. It's full. Everything you're thinking, you're right. So stay away. Yeah. Yeah.

We're all full up. Yeah. Do you guys dictate your texts in the car? Wouldn't be prudent. I, you know what? I've just gotten into some voice texts. Oh wow. I cannot tell us about this.

Is this part of Lauren's topic? I remember when I got into it, it was like, I heard people talking about it. I was like, I, it was like, I heard people talking about it. I was like, I gotta get into this. I read people talking about it when they said, dictated by Siri, but I didn't wanna do it. Who is this Siri fellow? I didn't wanna talk to him,

but I now have been doing it and I'll tell you what, you know what I use more than Siri is that voice keypad feature. Oh, I don't know what this is. It's in the bottom right. You know what, it's very helpful sometimes. Sometimes we'll be texting with Lauren on a separate thread. Yeah, we have a lot of private things to discuss.

It's about you. Oh, shit. It's all we ever talk about separately. It's all we talk about. It's so extensive and draining. You know what you're doing? You're doing better than worse. Oh yeah, it's all positive.

Yes, it's all positive. Oh, great. It's like, Scott was great on all positive. Yes, it's all positive. Oh great, okay. It's like Scott was great on Freedom Today. Yeah, there's a lot of that. Just re-listen, gotta say, Scott was the star once again. I'll never tell him. But we, but Lauren, sometimes if it's like- No, I just budge all the things

that I know you're not gonna be interested in. This is- Oh. Yeah. Why don't you do that on the main Freedom thread? Because you won't be interested. don't you do that on the main freedom thread? Start thinking about Marvel stuff, but I don't bother Lauren with that sure yeah, why would you yeah exactly? What I bother you with mainly gossip I guess That last one I was very surprised you addressed only to me.

Well, I was walking a fine line. I'm gonna bring it up to you after. Just the other day? Yeah. I'll bring it up later. I wanna know. I was afraid to text it. You'll see why.

It's not for air, by the way. Gotcha. It's certainly not. I could be arrested. Aren't you deliciously tantalized listeners? And also aren't you scared for us? Oh God. But in any case.

So she, sometimes when it's like- He's looking for someone. He's looking for someone. He's looking for someone. Helicopter. Buy your helicopter shoe charm now. That's right. He's still looking for someone.

He's still looking for someone. He's still looking for someone. He's still helicopter. God, is he looking for us? Maybe. He's just looking for someone. He's still helicopter. God, is he looking for us? Yeah, maybe. He's just hovering right there. He's picking Paul up with a claw. Are we in an arcade game? Yeah.

That'd be fun. What if that happened? That'd be fun. I'd like to find that. I've done it enough times to them. They should do it to me. I just look at you guys and I shrug like they got me So if it's too like you're texting about a topic and then it's you just have too much to say

It's like what's the point of writing all this down? I know I hate typing you do a little thingy and you're like some people do voice memos a lot I would do videos a lot instead of text. I would like turn the camera around Make a whole video even just like have a sentence of like, yeah, okay. And then send a video. I don't drag that Marco Polo bullshit into my text world. Marco Polo died in the vine.

Yeah, you know, I do like when some people will voice text me, voice memo me, cause it feels like, oh, I feel like we're kind of chatting, but I don't really like to do it back that often, only with certain people. But there's some people I don't really like to do it back that often, only with certain people. Yes. But there's some people I don't feel the freedom to just start-

Freedom! You know, speaking- Freedom! Freedom! I won't let you down. Chugg homophobe. He never grabbed you? Not really. You're too young, right? But he's a very sensual person, you say?

Oh, yes. Sure, I guess. When he was. I mean, he's dead now, so not really anymore. Yes, he passed, yes. She did say past tense. He was. I said he, I put him past tense in one sentence

and present tense in another sentence because I wasn't sure If he had passed away, I forgot but here's the thing about Christmas day Here's the thing about those of us in this do they know it's Christmas after all last they know George Michael died on Christmas Do they know George? Those of us in the celebratory at we live forever forever in a sense. I just want to say. It's OK to say George Michael is essential. By the way, I just found out the... He still isn't on this video.

Sorry, what? No, let's all talk. I'm going to say something about... Videos. I found out the drums in Do They Know It's Christmas are from a Tears for Fear song. It's a sample. That makes a lot of sense.

Were they there? Were they there? Because that song is a fucking banger. Yeah. It's one of the best Christmas songs, actually, even though it's extremely weird and fucked up, I think, in terms of the lyrics. They're so stupid.

They don't know it's Christmas. Like, they're hungry and they don't have anything. I think I was just on another podcast defending the lyrics, and now I'm taking the other side. I could take either side, but it's made me cry, many a Christmas, to listen to it. But then I'll think, what is this? I will say I give them credit for where they're coming from,

but their lyrics are a little silly. But I feel like some of them are better than others. Some girls are bigger than others. There you go, Morrissey. And tits or butt or what are you talking about? I mean, why did Morrissey care? Why did Morrissey care? I don't know.

I remember getting that record and going, this can't be what the song's about. It's gotta be a cheeky title that's about something else. Nope, it's just about how some girls are bigger than other girls. What a freak. Tits or butt or?

Yeah, what are we talking about? Hey Morrissey, tits or butt? Which one are you referring to? I don't have to say butt, wink wink. Reality recap, yeah, I've been watching a little Joe millionaire reboot. Have you seen that? Oh my what?

The reboot, why? New Joe millionaire. Cause I know there's a little Joe millionaire reboot. Have you seen that? Oh my what? The reboot? Why? New Joe millionaire. Cause I know there's a millionaire and a non millionaire, right? Yeah. Well, we just put it on last night. They always go with a non millionaire

cause he's probably cuter, right? They're both cute and they're both seemingly normal. How do you find a normal cute millionaire? I don't know. That's weird. I don't know. They're both cute. Scott, I know that you were begging

for a compliment just there. That's weird. I don't know. They're both cute. Scott, I know that you were begging for a compliment just there. That I'm a millionaire. Please, that you're a normal cute millionaire. Tell me I'm a cute millionaire. Please tell me I'm normally cute. Your umbrellas are going wonkadoo. She's talking to me. You going to get up there?

No, you get up there. You're going to get out of the ladder, climb to the top of that umbrella. But wait, but so they're counting on people not remembering that there was a Joe millionaire? The premise is this. So the first year. Stop screaming at me. The first Joe millionaire,

they didn't know until the end that he wasn't really a millionaire. Right. So the whole time they thought he's a millionaire. This time there's, they surprised the women, there's two men and they said one is a millionaire and one is not. One is worth $ a millionaire and one is not one is worth ten million dollars And one is worth not so it's Joe me a millionaire and no millionaire

Yeah, basically and then they both they can fall in love with both them They won't know till the end which one's the real millionaire, but they are permitted to fall in love with both They are an actual I will say because it's not oh, thanks. I didn't know what you were doing. You really shame Scott is adjusting the umbrella. I guess that umbrella was- As per Lauren's command. Don't call me Laura. I corrected it immediately. Well, don't do it.

Okay, Laura. Okay, so. Fucking get it. The fun thing I like about the show, one thing I enjoy is that, oh thanks. I love a show where I enjoy one thing. Well, it's not the Bachelor, so the women are not doing the same Bachelor tropes. Right.

Thank you, I didn't even mean you had to fix the umbrella right then, that did make it better though. Sure. You sent that to me as a video text? What are you doing in your can? Because I'm a rebel. Oh my God.

You did a show here the other day and I brought him a nice big glass of water and he poured it onto the ground. Why? Because he's a fucking asshole. I am an agent of chaos like the Joker. The Joker and or. Why are you being so serious I ask?

Another cute thing about the show, just to wrap up reality recap, is that reality wrap up. The guys live in a house together and they're sharing deets about the girls and they get along like friends. And you know who the millionaire is before. Yes, we all do as the viewer.

What deets, like tits or butts? Yeah, it's talking about tits and butts. Well, he's like, no, this one got in a fight with that one and blah, blah, blah. And he's like, oh. So it's kind of cool. And then, because I was tempted to skip, I can't skip to the end, but I was tempted to just wait and then just watch that one and blah blah blah. And he's like, oh. So it's kind of cool. And then, but I, cause I was tempted to skip like, I can't skip to the end, but I was tempted to just wait

and then just watch the ending and see what happens. But some of those stuff happening right now is already good. So if anyone cares, it's out there, you know, it's on Hulu. Are the people dumb? I think that's a given. Okay. Even the millionaire? He, I don't know if he's a farm guy.

I don't know if he's dumb. What does that mean? He has... He's a farm-ion-air? He has like a family business that's like farm related. He has like a family. Oh, he inherited it. He shouldn't be doing the show.

He has a helicopter, he has a ranch, all this kind of shit. Okay, so he lives in the middle of nowhere where the dollars get stretched a little bit. Exactly. Right, right, right, right, right, right. But so I said that could be good because then the girl, if she wants to live in the middle of fucking nowhere, she could live forever because then the girl, if she wants to live in the middle of fucking nowhere,

she could live forever on that. But the girl never wants to live in the middle of nowhere. Remember the previous farm bachelor? Yeah, it's not a good selling point for a bachelor. It's also just tough, even if you met someone in a bar and then they were like, I live in the middle of nowhere. Like, it's like, well, I don't know if I wanna go do that.

Did they ever do bachelor on Animal Crossing? What do you mean, like the characters? I know that people did shows like stand up shows on Animal Crossing. But if somebody had done a game show. What are you guys talking about? Oh, my God. Animal Crossing was so pandemic. It was so pandemic. It was peak pandemic. I mean, I got and I got into Animal Crossing, the game on Nintendo DS.

Right. That's what it's on. Right. More like Nintendo. I was doing it on the switch. That's what it's on, right? More like Nintendo BS. I was doing it on the Switch. So that's what I mean, Switch. I used to have a DS like a million years ago. I don't know why I'm saying that. My Nintendo Switch. But I was really into it for a while.

But then, you know, I feel like I started to go, I can't live inside this fake world. Well, you're gonna be living in the metaverse soon. I know. You gotta get an NFT as an avatar. I do, I do. I think. You gotta get an NFT as an avatar. I do, I do. I think. I lasted longer than you did.

I lasted longer than you did, but there does come a point where it's like, this is sickening to me. I agree, I started to go, I'm out of my mind. Collab would play The Sims on our GameCube that we got for free. Sims is a blast. But it's the same kind of thing where it's just like,

I feel like she does some sort of thing like that now, not Farmville or something, but it's like takes up a lot of mental space, but I'm always playing like word games, so I get it. Well, I do my wordle one today. Guys, we're talking about wordle? Hey, wordle. We do wordle one today. We're in the wordle part.

We're in the wordleverse. Wordle is fun because it's a very simple thing. I like it. I love it. I love that you have to stop after one. I would play it all fucking day. I really would. I set my Instagram timer again because I was like, I'm on this shit fucking way too much.

And then I ran out and I went, wow. And then I looked around and I was like, I mean to fold that laundry for four days. I really was like, oh, the world. My screen time is bad, and it's approaching first quarantine bad. Yeah, oh no, same, same. Mine is out of control. I had to set the time. It's just like, I have it in my fucking hand all the time.

It's like, what am I doing? It's sick. Reopening apps right after I close them, that kind of thing. Same, it's sick. Gross and disgusting. I have a lot of screen time because I'm making deals all day. Wow. Plus you have all those iPads. No, and I've said this before. I have a lot of screen time because I'm making deals all day. Wow.

You have all those iPads. I just got a new one. You got a new one? Given to you? No, I bought this one. Oh, so things are bad? No, it's too stupid to go into. But I needed a bigger one.

We talk about really fucking dumb shit. Why did you need a bigger one? For your Peloton? I needed a bigger one. We talk about really fucking dumb shit. I needed a big- Why did you need a bigger one? For your Peloton? I needed the big screen. Now, for my Peloton- Did you throw it? I don't know! It does? By the way, they're not making them anymore. I mean, they've halted production. They don't make Peloton? Because of sex in the city. They've halted production! For two months. Two months? I could have gotten one

in that fucking window. Why have they halted production? Because of quarantine? Because of pandemic? No, demand is going down. So they've halted production. Oh, it's going down. So their stock tumbled. Because of Mr. Big? Because of the pandemic? No, demand is going down, so they've halted production. So their stock tumbled. Because of Mr. Big? Because of Mr. Big! Well, I think demand's going down also because people are getting back out in the world

a little bit, even though the weather is shivering. Everyone's in shape. Yeah, well, we all used our Pelotons and sold them. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. So why do you need a big one? Just tell us. I'm not gonna tell you. you want to watch Uncanto?

I wanted to watch Bruno. Bruno. Not the Sasha Barraco and Bruno. Although he should have made a cameo in Uncanto. We don't talk about Sasha Barraco and Bruno. Why? Have you not seen Uncanto? I haven't seen it.

Lauren, it's a hit song. We've got to talk about Bruno's. We don't talk about Bruno. We don't talk about Bruno. I have picked up on that a little bit from my time on Instagram, but I try to avoid, sometimes I just scroll right past

because I'm like, well, I want to watch it eventually. I don't want to get all the hits from Instagram. Absolutely. Luckily people only make the same joke over and over again. So it's really not ruining the movie. What is the joke? Because I don't- Just about talking about Bruno.

That they're going to? That's the only one I've seen. That they're going to or that they're not going to. again. So it's really not ruining the movie. What is the joke? Because I just about talking about Bruno, that they're going to the only one I've seen that they're going to or that they're not going to. I watched Coda and I wept my little ass off. You wiped your little ass. I wiped it. And so did Mike. We both were crying and we were like, that was so good. It's good, right? I loved it. It's an extremely sweet movie. I loved it so much.

Yeah. The the dad actor. Yeah. Dead actor. I went down a wormhole looking them all up afterwards. Yes, me too. You simply must. Finding their addresses.

He was fantastic. Catfishing them. I'm in the middle of a good catfish with him right now. I can't say too much. He thinks he's talking to a huge muscle man. Wow. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. The girl was fantastic.

She learned sign language and had never sung on screen. She had been on Broadway before. Is she not from another country as well? She's British. American accent, learned another language, sign language, and then also was singing on screen, which she had never done, but she was a singer previously. Still got a different skill with acting, singing, that kind of thing.

Absolutely. She also had to learn the fishing shit. Yeah, and at a walk. That alone, I honestly doubt first. I mean, she did that a few years back. Yes. The first scene... I also did that. Oh, really?

This isn't giving anything away. It's giving the first scene of the movie away. You'll see it within one second. She's on a boat and she's working on a boat. I'm on a boat! And, sorry, spoiler alert. And I was thinking, oh god, that's a really, that's hard as an actor. She's like grabbing fish, doing all this stuff.

It's disgusting and you have to act like you're really comfortable. Like if you had to grab one fish, you would quit the movie. I've literally done that many times. Quit movie had to fit grab fish really strangely not or touching things like that I had to gut a fish on are you there Chelsea how random is that it's a multicam show they had me gutting a real fish for what I know why would you inflict that on a room full of people? I don't know. Well, it was like, it was kind of, um, yeah, I really don't know why it was real. It just looked better, I guess. But I'm supposed to, then I got the blood on my face, which was part of the scene. A big disgrace.

Anyways. I went fishing once when I was a little kid with my uncle and I caught a fish but it was not a fish that we could eat. We were fishing for flounder. You couldn't eat it because it was inedible or because... It was like maybe this big. It was like a six inch fish or something like that. It was very small and it was not like... Six inches is small.

Damn. Ineskull. Have you seen a whale? Six inch, you caught a six inch fish. Yeah, I caught a little fish and it was not like a fish that you fry up and eat. What did you do with that shit? I insisted that we keep it because I was very upset. Aw. You didn't wanna throw it.

I wish! But throwing it back would be better. Throwing it back would be better. Yeah, but you're a kid. I was a little kid. You wanted to keep it in a fish tank. I felt like I had- A prize.

Yeah, it was not so much that I felt like I had a prize, but I felt disappointed that I had not contributed. Oh. Do you know what I mean? Why, did other people catch flounder? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow, okay. So you wanted to be like- We floundered at night!

Really? Floundered at night! Floundered at night! Floundered, floundered, floundered, floundered at night! Did you go fishing often, Saru? No, that was it. That was the only time I've ever been fishing. Oh, only once.

Did they go fishing without you? Go, that kid only caught a six inch fish. He's a little pussy. Yeah. He can't handle it. He can't handle the fish. When he can't provide. I feel like I went fishing once,

and then I went fishing twice. Never caught anything. Then I went fishing thrice. Either time. Then I was fishing every day, and I'm fishing right now. Once I feel like it was up near San Francisco for some reason.

Up San Francisco? How old were you? I must have been, I can tell you what comic book was in a store in San Francisco that I really wanted to buy. Oh, this will take you down. Sure, absolutely. That really helps. It was the second part of a Justice League Justice Society of America two-parter.

Oh, so you went there because you had to. No, I really don't. Well, no, okay, this is what I remember from the trip. We had, we'd rented some sort of, Drented? We'd rented, no, we rented some sort of a mobile, well, what do you call them?

Hospital? Like RV. We rented some sort of RV. Okay. And we drove into San Francisco. We had like fished with some some church friends. We drove into San Francisco. I saw a a poster on the street.

Someone was selling this poster on the street that I thought was hilarious. Poster on the street. Which was the unknown comic in the Burt Reynolds pose. Oh sure. With the bag over his penis as well. That's funny. And I bag over his penis as well. That's funny. And I was like, that's funny.

And then we went to Fisherman's Wharf, and I remember being super bored because my parents just wanted to like shop and look at, you know, dumb shit. Mm-hmm. Idiots. And I saw this comic book which was a little bit older and not sold in my area. And I was like, please, please, please, can I get it? Anyway. Like the Morrissey song.

Yes. And then did you get it? I don't remember. I think I might've, I don't remember. Wow, he wanted it so bad and doesn't remember if he got it or not. Yeah, but that's all I remember from that trip. So it must've been around 1982 or something.

And why is your iPad so big? Shit, you almost tricked me. No. I've been fishing a couple times, I think, but once was kind of memorable. I was in Wisconsin, I think, with my aunt and uncle who had a summer. They had a fancy, I don't know, somebody had some sort of summer house there, but it wasn't... Fonzie? It wasn't fancy by any means. It was a very camp-like cabin, you know? So, RuPaul?

You know, it was camp. It was pure camp. And my brother and I went on a trip with my aunt and uncle, and then we went fishing on a boat. It was pretty exciting. I'm on a boat. On a pontoon, I believe. I'm on a pontoon.

And then while I was asleep, my brother saw a tick on my leg. Whoa! And he pulled my leg. Whoa. And he got, he pulled it off. Whoa, with his mouth? No. He got all of it? Sicko. But yeah, I was a little kid.

I mean, I was like probably, I think I was like 10 and he was, so he was like 12 or 13. Wow, so you could have had Lyme disease. Right. But he was, why was he looking at your leg? He just saw it on my leg. I was asleep. I just had my, I mean, it was just-

You had your leg out? Yeah, I was just laying there. It's actually not, it's like a hot summer day, you know, laying on the couch. Yeah, exactly. You got it. Sometimes you gotta stick your foot out to regulate temperature.

Anyway, I don't even know if I had a blanket. I would have just passed out, taken a nap, you know? Drunk. Yeah. Anyway, very, very helpful. I if I had a blanket. I would have just passed out taking a nap, you know? Drunk. Anyway, very, very helpful. I have never had a tick. It's terrifying to me. I know, they freak me out. The idea of them is so horrible. Do we have them here?

We must. I'm sure if you're hiking or something. I mean, when I went to Little Compton, Rhode Island, which is where Arden is from, we were in sort of like grassy fields. And then I was thinking, there's going to be ticks in here. I'm going to get them all. I mean, and so I was thinking there's gonna be ticks in here. I'm gonna get them all.

I mean, and so I couldn't even have fun. You know? So you start thinking about a tick and it's just over. That's the grassy knoll. That's how JFK died. From the grassy knoll? From the tick. A big tick.

Oh, big tick. Yeah. Lee Harvey Aval with the pate. A big tick. I still want to know why the iPad's so big. I feel like I can't. How big is the biggest one? It's like a car windshield.

It's a TV. I wish. I wish it was that is the biggest one? It's like a car windshield. It's a TV. I wish I would be an amazing iPad. Lauren, I would lay on it. Put give give give a guess why you think he got a big iPad. He wants to watch TV from the tub. Tub TV. Other option is to light some candles and watch Ozark while he soaks. He wants to be able to use it somewhere specific.

I don't know. I really don't know. I want to know why. I want to know. Wouldn't you like to know? I'll never tell you. I'll just guarantee it's not interesting, but I need to know. I will never tell you. Okay, you'll never tell me? Never. Even off mic? I will die. Never, not even off mic. I will die before this crosses my lips. So it's something embarrassing. So he wants to watch big porn. Huge porn.

Huge porn. And the TV won't do it. It's for reading! Portable big porn. I need a bigger screen for reading. So you want it, but why don't you just make the text bigger on the smaller one? Nevermind! Didn't think of that.

All right, that's fine. Why do they even make the big ones then? Are you like drawing a comic? Yes. I read a book recently. Yes. On a, what? I'd like to do more of that. I read a book. What Yes. Duel. What? I'd like to do more of that.

I read a book. What was the book you read? Do you want to talk about it? Or is it private? It's a private book. It was a book called The Thursday Murder Club. And it was a very enjoyable book, but the thing is it shifted between perspectives.

So there was like a third person- Like The Last Duel! Exactly. So there was a third person perspective, but then there was a first person perspective in the form of a journal of one of the characters. Like, what's that, what's that Wachowski- Harriet the Spy.

Wachowski Tom Hanks movie with Halle Berry. Cloud Atlas. Cloud Atlas. Cloud Atlas. I believe the book is sort of like that, is it not? I do not know, I have not read it, nor have I seen the film. Neither have I. But the thing is, when they switched perspectives,

the journal was a different font. Whoa! That was much smaller. It wasn't necessarily, it wasn't really handwriting, but it was so much smaller than the other one that I had to constantly, because I was reading on a Kindle. That'sle, I had to keep bumping it up. And then when I would go back to the third person font, it was now so big that it was

quietly mortifying. It should, it should account for. Yeah. I was like, is this good enough for you? It should account for your text size on the first page and like make it bigger. Lauren, I call you on Musk. I will call you on Musk. for your text size on the first page and like make it bigger, you know, and. Lauren, I- Call you on Musk. I will.

Call you on Musk. Call you on Musk. That's what I've done. Call you on Musk. I'm going to call you on Musk. Call you on Musk. Do you think you'll have like a phone, a phone company called Musk soon?

I hope so. And the phones are just like in your brain. They stink. Would you buy a stinky phone if it was like the best phone out there, So and the phones are just like in your brain Would you buy a stinky phone if it was like the best phone out there, but I think a little bit Like it just stank a little bit. Yeah Scott what are these slides that you're wearing? These are my crocs. These are the my crocs slides I thought I should have made by croc, but I only have three holes You need them Crocs! What are you doing?

You only sent us three pair a piece. You did one ad. We did one ad one week and you only sent us three pairs? Did you turn off the shoe faucet after three? I didn't even get to talk about how I wanted the slides. Send the slides to my friends. I already have the slides.

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Yeah, yeah by Tim Robinson, oh my god that that show so funny the Tim Robinson show the fucking mall one is the funniest thing Ever though. I actually watched that right after I gave birth and I was dying right after instantly thing ever though I was actually watched that right after I gave birth and I was dying right after instantly when I was recovering in my room. Bring me that iPad. Swap the baby for an iPad. No it was one day later. Move the baby. And I was watching that and I was laughing so hard it was it was it was medicine. Yeah laughter is the best.

Yeah I've heard that. Yes. Yeah it made you feel better about having a baby. It healed my coochie. Oh okay. It closed up coochie. Oh, okay. It closed up after watching that. Entirely.

The doctor came in and said, now to heal your coochie, here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna give you one dose of, I think you should leave. Now, you're gonna yell at me, you're gonna tell me to get out of here, but I want you to trust me on this. Watch this sketch show.

How's parenting? It's going great. Great. Well, Holly has now reached a point where she's six months old. And that is- She's sort of over it. I have to say. She wants to go back in.

Most of my experience with children is from six months and beyond. And so I really feel like I've hit a stride with her. Most of my experience with children is from six months and beyond. And so I really feel like I've hit a stride with her. To six months and beyond. I was going to do the madness, but six months and beyond! I'm glad we each had one. But it's getting more and more fun for me because first of all I feel better physically,

which is helping, but she's getting so funny and she's so yeah what do you hope her first word is I would love for it to be mama really when there's a deal it's better than car but isn't mama what's easier to say harder to say right yeah is easier to change your name to data yeah I should say that by accident yeah we're people are just saying, oh, they said it, they said it. No, we don't know. No, they have to put, I think if it's Dada, if it's Mama, it's like, it's obviously you're saying me. If it's Dada, they have to include a point

and like sort of a gesture, like a repeated gesture, like, no, this person. Well, you know what part of it is, I have to start calling us that now, I guess, because she has no, she's not gonna say mama. I don't often say mama. Right. What do you say, Lauren? I don't say anything.

I just, I don't- You've never told her to come to mama? I don't speak a word to her. Ask her why. I've said it, I've tried to make a point, because now she's at the point where six months is where they start to learn their own name. So you have to be more specific. So you call her learn their own name. So you have to be more specific, so you call her nicknames and stuff.

You have to be more specific. You call her the specific name, and then she'll start to recognize that means her. And then so that's, I would say probably now is a good time to start putting in that he's that, and I'm this, and blah, blah, blah. Yeah. So you don't, you're like,

you have to stop calling her dipshit. Yeah, yeah. She'll start figuring out what we're talking about. What if we came over to record, and now we haven't seen her since like week three or something like that. No, you saw her when she was like three months. Three months, okay.

So we haven't seen her since then. But what if we came over to record and she just went, Paul, Scott. Before, and that was her first words. Oh, honestly, I'd be, I'd be astounded. I'd be thrilled if that was her first word. She just knew who you were. Yeah.

Then I'd be, she'd be baby genius. What if she said, hello, Paul, hello, Scott. That'd be really cool. Welcome. Nice to make your acquaintance. I haven't seen you guys in months. About approximately three years. He's so funny.

I haven't seen you in approximately three months. You showed is so funny. I love Lauren showed me- It's been approximately three months. You showed me a video of you blowing lightly on her face. What? Yes. And what- No, it just gone like right into her face. She was- she starts to like breathe it in. She goes through so many emotions.

She's like, oh my god. Does she like it or not like it? She likes it I think, but she's also like really really shocked and it's like, it's very cute. Cause we found that Molly, our dog, hates it when you go Pfft. Like that in her face? What? Like Pfft.

No, just even by her. That noise. Just the noise. What does she do? Okay, well does it make her think of the junkyard she was raised in? In Mexico? Maybe.

I don't know. The sound of cars being compacted. That's a weird sound. She hates it. So what got her there? I don't know. The sound of cars being compacted. That's a weird sound. She hates it. So what got her there? You were doing raspberries like Coolop's belly? The other Lop will do it every once in a while. Now is Coolop Lop 2 or Lop 1?

She's other Lop. If Coolop married me, she'd be Coolop Lopkus. Coolopkus. Coolopkus. Right now she's V Lysawkerman. Oh, well that works out great. I have friends who had a dog, a rescue dog that would go crazy. Adopt don't shop.

It would go crazy. Adopt don't shop. Adopt don't shop. It would go crazy if you said the word abugado. Abugado. Does that mean lawyer though? Haven't we had this conversation? Maybe we have. I think we have.

The dog would go crazy. But why did it not like that? Oh no. No one knows. Did it die from that? Yeah. We did it too much. That's so weird.

It just finally went crazy. It went crazy to death. Oh my God, I was on a walk with Holly yesterday and these dogs were about to, I swear they almost jumped over the fence they were behind. It was like taller than me, but they jumped up so high and their paws were above it. And they were trying to attack you?

Yeah, they were going crazy barking at me. Wow. When I was a kid, that was the scariest, we had dogs like that. Oh my God. I think I told you about Hippie's Hill or Rob's Hill in my old neighborhood. Yeah. I don't remember.

And there was a, they had, at one point, it was a special house. there was a, they had, at one point, it was a special house. there was a garage that had a dog in there that was maybe like it was an Irish wolfhound, maybe it was a shaggy dog, you know. The shaggy DA? What do they call those, the shaggy dogs? What do you mean?

Sheepdog. Oh. Yeah. Oh, like the character, the shaggy dog. The shaggy DA. Yeah, but I think people would say shaggy dog sometimes as a nickname. Oh, okay. A sheepdog, by the way, you shouldn't call something after its job.

Why not? You know what I mean? No, that's its identity. When did it become sheepdog? It would separate work and life. There was a time before where it didn't even know a sheep. It's like, hey, I'm just Shaggy. I chase sheep for a living, but you don't have to, that's my my identity like doesn't seem kind of stressful to have a bunch of sheep you have to

Like get back in to your fence all that's a name. That's a name. No, it sounds great. I bet I could do it easy Okay, anyway, if I were a sheep dog, I would just be like You get it you get it In there. So this dog was in this garage often and it was a very scary thing to go up to the garage to the point where the dog would sense you outside because then it would like jump up in the windows, the little windows of the garage.

And it was like there was a monster in there because it would not, it wasn't tall enough to stay in the window but it would jump up just barking like crazy. It's so scary. It was like there was a monster in there, because it would not, it wasn't tall enough to stay in the window, but it would jump up just barking like crazy. It's so scary. It was terrifying. Especially if you're a little kid, oh my God. Yeah.

I'm sure I told you about the dog that chased me when I was on my paper route, and it made me hate dogs. When did you come back around to that? I thought there was a different dog that made you hate dogs. No, it was that dog. Wait, what dog did you think? I thought a dog like bit you.

Yeah, I was thinking Marmaduke. This dog chased me. I thought you bit a dog. Yeah, I did that. I'd love to see a video of that. I did that every day. Wait, I thought you were a dog who had a paper root. And you were in a movie.

There's nothing in the rule book against it. Um. Did anyone see Clifford? No. No. What? Why? Why would we? We don't have Holly. I'm just curious what it's like.

To have a big dog like that in your life? What the movie's like, I mean. A friend of mine's son saw Clifford and boy, he was too young for it. Really? He was afraid? Yeah. Clifford really disturbed him a lot. But now with the books, because I remember liking the books.

Sometimes the animation is too... It was the animation, yeah. I remember liking the books as a kid, but it was very playful and whimsical and a drawing. I love how he was control. He's clearly a drawing. Yeah. Yes, and it's funny. But if you saw it in real life.

But to put him in the real life, oh boy, that would be... To put him in the real life. This is against what we do. That's like watching King Kong when you're a kid. It's like frightening. What's the girl who owns Clifford's name? Clairford? Clifford's master.

King Kong, the 1976 one with Jessica Lange. Which my father was in. That's right. Starring Birdie Harper. No, I watched the 30s one. And that one scared you as a kid? Well, I mean- I guess depending on what age you are.

I also was very fascinated with monster movies when I was a kid. So it was very much like I watched it once, it was kind of like I mean, it's depending on what age you are. I also was very fascinated with monster movies when I was a kid. Yeah. So it was it was very much like I watched it once. It was kind of like, oh, that's scary. But then I found out about stop motion. Yeah. And so then I was then I wasn't really scared of those types of movies anymore. I would be like, oh, wow, that's how they do that. That's how they do that. I don't need to be scared.

That's a tedious process. Yeah. Did you ever have a dynamite magazine? Yeah. Oh, yeah. All the time. Up until I was like 13 or something. I had a subscription, well like I would order it from Scholastic. Yeah, Scholastic Book Club. I loved Scholastic Book Club. I did too. That was like, what was it, like once a month at school or something like that?

Something like that and you'd order it from the catalog, right? Yes, yes, yes. I loved it so much. But Dynamite Magazine did stuff on like, it's so wild they did, whoo. Like this was, magazine was aimed at nerds because it was like, here's a peek at Ray Harryhausen's technique. Did you know about Lon Chaney Sr.? They're like shit like this. Like these movies are already old.

Oh weird. I just got sad though about kids who must've been sad on Scholastic Booktakes. They didn't have $5 or something. I know. I know. I know. I remember I ordered. Why is everything fucking, school is5 or something. I know, I know. Yeah. I remember I already-

Why is everything fucking, school is, a lot of school stuff is really bad. Yeah. What do you mean? Just going to school is bad? Well, because like teachers have to buy their own supplies. I would agree with that. Like there's so many things that just aren't,

like our government just doesn't take care of that they should. The narrative that- That kids should each get a free book. Kids should get all the ads for the budget. You know how much that would add to the budget? One book to every kid in the world? No thank you. You're the person at the town hall meeting

I don't want the kids to have free lunch! If they get free lunch they won't know the power of work! Well it is one of the best, one of the coolest things our society does is public schooling. Yeah, but the teachers are paid two cents and they have to buy their own supplies. Yes, we should put more money into it, but it's honestly, when you think about it, an amazing thing. But doesn't every country have, I mean, pretty much... So you're not even going to give me this, that public school is good? Of course it's good, but I'm saying other countries...

Are you talking about in England? Because that's a private school, actually. They have to pay? Everyone has to pay to go to school? No, what we call, what they call public school is private school. Right. They don't pay. I don't understand that, why that is. I don't either. Why is it called private if it's... They're backwards. Everything they do is backwards. They call the front of the car the back of the car.

They do. Idiots. Yeah. The engine's in the car the back of the car. They do. Idiot. The engines in the car back. Ain't it? Ain't it? We hate them. Ain't it?

If you're listening to us from there, we hate you. Wow. Lauren. I feel like this bummed you out. No, it's great. Well, cause Holly's going to school in a mere four and a half years. I know.

So you're trying to take care of all these issues. It's a legitimate question. Are you already having to look at shit like that? No, but I have heard that you, like probably by the time she's like one and a half, I'm supposed to be doing that or something. It's a nightmare. It's fucking insane.

I don't know about that, but I would really like, I think that, I mean, I just hope that there's people out there who are like giving money towards helping. Like I just think like if Holly went to school and I knew that there were some kids who didn't have something, I would hope that there's people out there who are like giving money towards helping. Like, I just think like if Hollywood just school and I knew that there were some kids who didn't have something, I would want everyone to have everything. Like I just don't, I don't like that.

Cool, you give your money. I would. Good, give all of it. Asshole. I would, that wouldn't even be that much money. It's like, you just have to like, you know, donate a little to help everyone feel better. Isn't that just hard that people have to go through that?

Yeah, it's terrible. He's against it. There's enough shit when you're a kid to be embarrassed and self-conscious about, much less the fact that you come from a family that's not doing that well. Okay, here's what we do then. We target those children,

and we put them into a special thing and say, we're gonna pay for all of your stuff because you're so poor. Target children. No, it would be an anonymous situation where everyone just gets what they need. We put on a Guy Fawkes mask and a hoodie. Attention, we're giving all the kids the same stuff. All of you will have everything that you need at the school. Everyone will get square pizza.

Were you a bring your lunch to school person? I brought my own lunch. I brought my own lunch because- What did you have all the time? I ate the same thing from kindergarten through high school basically every single day. Except for some days where it was a variation that I never really liked. I had a peanut butter sandwich with no jelly.

I had a pack of chips and I had- I think a pack of cigarettes. A pack of Philly's Blunts. Some sort of dessert, hostess cupcake, cookies, that kind of thing, and a juice box of some sort, or a coconut. All the way through a senior in high school?

Pretty much, almost every day. When I was in grade school, I went home for lunch, because we lived that close to the school. Oh, wow. Grade school, you were able to do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I would think that you would want to stay with all of your friends.

No, I guess I did. I don't know why. No, that seems cool to go home. I think I liked it, but when I look back on it now, I'm sure there must have been days where I was like, I wish I didn't have to go back there. Oh, you wouldn't want to go back at all. No, I mean, our school was right by a Burger King,

so I would go there for lunch once I was in high school, which was fucking awesome. We were by Foster's Freeze, and that's where I would go all the time. And I would walk in and go your usual You would say that Wow Your usual I was thinking about sandwiches because I had either just brokest sandwiches growing up I was thinking about deviled ham the other day

Oh sure We did your meat sandwich once you got to school? Like I would have my sandwich with turkey and then I'd get there and the bread's all soft. You'd have turkey? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, sometimes. I had a bologna.

Oh man, my mom. With butter. Ugh! And white bread. I can't believe how badly I mangled this, but my mother would like make me a bunch of sandwiches at once and put them in the freezer. Whoa.

And then I would take them. Does that stay at all? Well, it doesn't. Here's why it doesn't work. Because what you should do is you take the next day's sandwich out the night before. Right. And you put it in the fridge.

Yeah. So that it thaws out. And then you could put condiments on it or whatever. Yeah. Condiment. Instead of what I did, I put them in a big condom. It's like putting a soda in tinfoil. You would forget about it until the morning.

I would grab it out of the freezer in the morning. So then it would just thaw out by lunchtime, but it would be wet. It would be like a soggy sandwich with no... A soggy DA. A soggy condom. It would be a wet sandwich with no condiments on it. It was miserable.

Can I say one thing about baloney? I just saw on Instagram today that the Oscar Meyer baloney face mask, you know those face masks that are like tissue, you know, as you put on your face? They made a bal- one that looks like baloney. And it sold out so fast that they couldn't keep up with production and they didn't expect it at all. It looks like baloney or is baloney? It looks like it. It's just one of those sheet masks, but it's red circle. It looks like baloney. It comes in an Oscar Meyer package.

Oh, I like that. Like the thing you do when you were a kid. Yeah. Although I didn't learn about this till I was an adult. Where you make the face in baloney. I've never done that. That makes me sick. It's gross.

The idea of the meat touching my face, no. You don't like meat touching your face. That's your takeaway? Yeah. Yeah, yep. We never got turkey. We had bologna, we had tuna, or we had deviled ham. Is turkey much more expensive than tuna? I don't know, but it feels like it was like a...

Tuna goes a long way. Tuna goes a long way. Tuna makes me sick. Does it really, tuna salad? I loved it, that's the one thing I still love. I don't like anything salad. I don't like chicken salad, I don't like chicken salad. I don't like when there's fucking chunks and...

I like some of those things. I like an egg salad. I like a turkey salad. I don't like potato salad that much. Egg salad barf. Ugh. Egg salad barf. Devil's Ham, I wonder if I... What is Devil's Ham? It's basically like...

It's ham that hasn't been blessed by a priest. Bad ham? I think it's like basically, it's like junk meat that's... What? That's even worse. That's like put into, as a spread. Like a hot dog? Ew, what?

It's a spread. So like you put it on... Oh no. You put it on bread and it's like peanut butter. It's like, you know... Yeah, Vegemite. Yeah. We had it in the house.

My dad would eat it, but I never ate it. But I was fascinated by the packaging. I loved the Underwood. The little red, the Underwood. The devil? Yes, the Underwood devil ham. Wait, I gotta look this up. Not just the logo,

but that it was like this white paper wrapped around this cam. Oh yeah. It was so, I don't know. It looked neat to me. Devil Ham Spread. I like the devil. I love him.

Oh. And Scott, a friend of the devil? It's a friend of mine. This isn't what I thought it would look like. I sort of wonder if I would like it. We should try Devil's Hand. It looks kind of gross. Because I haven't had it since maybe I was 13

or something like that. Let's fucking try it on Mike. No, no, no. Let's try it on me. No, I don't know it. No, no. What's in it? No, no, no.

What's in it? It's gross to me. What's in it? It's gross to me. Because others might enjoy, but I don't like these sort of mushy things. Okay, hold on. It has mayo, ham, mustard.

Mayo's all right. Sweet onion. All that stuff's in it already? All that stuff's good. You put it all together in a big thing. They're dipping it in a Ritz cracker. Hold on, wait. My thing's loaded. It's like a pate.

I didn't know it had condiments in it. Yeah, neither did I. That's wild. To make it mushy. Or you just thought once you kind of- Mushy real good. My, we used to have, my dad used to eat liverwurst. Ugh.

Which was so gross to me. And then I used to have something, there used to be something I loved, a lunch meat called turkey ham. Oh. Well, what's that one? What is that? Ham and a pig fuck and then they, I mean, a lunch meat called turkey ham. Oh, well, what's that? What is that? Ham and a pig fuck and then they, I mean, I mean a turkey and a pig. When a turkey and a pig fuck.

When ham and a pig fuck. Turkey and a pig. That's disrespectful. That would be awesome. I don't know. I guess it was a combination of turkey and ham. I don't know. But is it is it like lunch meat, though, or is it a spread? It was lunch meat. It was lunch meat. I loved it. So it's turkey ham. Yeah, it had a specific taste and it was really good So it's ham made out of turkey. I guess yeah, I guess yeah, but it didn't taste completely like turkey, you know, right?

Right. No, but it's how it was processed or whatever. Yeah the way that a ham would be but yeah Yeah, it was so good. I never found it again. No, they still make it. I've never seen it Let's go to Gelson's right after this. I'll go to I've never seen it at Gelson's. I've never found it again. No, they still make it. I've never seen it. Let's go to Gelsen's right after this. I've never seen it at Gelsen's. I've never seen Gelsen's. You've never seen at Gelsen's? Lauren, you simply must go to Gelsen's. I'm scared. It's amazing.

The aisles. Wow, no, but it does remind me of going to UCB shows and getting a little something beforehand. Yes. Wow. What a world we live in now where we don't do anything. I would go get like a little soda pop or maybe I'd get a meal because I was going from thing to thing. Yeah, I'd get a sandwich with a vitamin zero.

Wow. You love vitamin zero. I haven't, I knocked them off. Really? Is it bad for your response? No, they're not bad for you. It's just like, like too many, too many carbs. It's just better to drink water. You were just like, why? Even a zero has like 20 carbs in it. Water is just the best thing.

Yeah. I basically only drink water. Huh? I guess I'm perfect. I have a little soda pop. I have a little soda pop, but I shouldn't. I said I'll have a sparkling flavored water from time to time, but even that I start to want it.

A Diet Coke doesn't have any carbs though. So it's better for you than a vitamin zero. It does have poison in it. There's no carbs but that rat juice. Rat juice. Oh what am I going gonna turn into pizza rat? So wait, so I would have a sandwich and it always had just like butter and whatever

and like one slice of bologna. Butter and one slice of bologna. Wow. And then I would have chips but- You know if you get like a sandwich in Italy or something it's like some nice ham with butter. I didn't know that sandwiches could be that good. Yeah. I remember, I think sandwiches could be that good. Yeah.

I remember, I think I must've talked about this before, but I remember when my friend was like, hey, do you want to go to the deli for lunch? And I was like, the deli? Why would you get there? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, they'll make sandwiches. And they made this big hoagie with lots of meat.

I didn't figure that out till pretty late in my life. I'd never seen a sandwich like that because my mom always just put one slice of bologna onto the bread. Oh yeah. So funny. I have to say, I still make sandwiches the way I made them when I was a kid. Really?

And Janie makes, like, photo-ready sandwiches. Really? Yeah. She should take pictures of them and send them to us, along with her wordles. This is making me hungry. I want a good sandwich. My dad used to make, if he made a peanut butter jelly sandwich,

he would also put butter on it. Wow, that's really decadent. Yeah. Really rich. Interesting. Now I was reading about a burger that you put peanut butter on. What? It's supposed to be really good.

I don't know about that. I don't know about that either. Oh, peanut sauce maybe. No. I could get into that. No. But then I would- I would put just peanuts on a burger.

I'd put peanuts on them. I put peanuts on a burger. I put peanuts on that. No. But then I would- I would put just peanuts on a burger. I'd put peanuts on them. I'd put peanuts on a burger. I'd put peanuts on a butt crack. I'd put peanuts on a butt crack. Alright, we'll be right back. Hot chocolate. Spending time with family. Gift giving.

These are some of my favorite things about the holidays. And you know what's not? And please don't spread this around because it's personal for me to you. Spending too much money. These are some of my favorite things about the holidays. And you know what's not? And please don't spread this around because it's personal for me to you. Spending too much money. That's where our sponsor Acorns comes in to help. Anyone can use Acorns.

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LLC and SEC registered investment advisor. View important disclosures at acorns.com slash freedom. right now and I'm very confident that I'm going to be able to continue this weight loss, this journey and really make a true lifestyle change. Don't believe it? Take it from Cam, who's gaining more confidence with Noom GLP-1. I really am starting to feel better. Like I feel a lot lighter, I feel a lot happier, I feel a lot more confident. I just feel a lot more like myself. I don't feel so bogged down every day. $149 GLP-1s? Now that's Noom Smart. Noom, the smart way to lose weight. Get started with Noom GLP-1 at Noom.com.

That's N-O-O-M dot com. Real Noom users compensated to provide their story. Individual results may vary. Not all customers will medically qualify for prescription medications. Compounded medications are not reviewed by the FDA for safety, efficacy, or quality. And we're back!

And guess what? What? I couldn't, I can't fathom what you're about to say. Oh, it's something good. I have no idea. Does that give you a clue? No, no, that doesn't give me a clue. Is it my birthday?

No, it's better than that. Is it my birthday? It's better than that even. Better? It's even better than my birthday. I'll give you a hint. Wait, so you think your birthday is better than both of our birthdays? No, I know it.

I'll give you a clue. Okay. It's the segment of our show that the audience loves the most. Oh. The Three-cher. The Three-cher. The Three-cher.

The Three-cher. The Three-cher. The Three-Church. The Three-Church. The Three-Church. The Three-Church. The Three-Church. The Three-Church. Is that your Three-Church? Is that your Three-Church gonna play a game? We are gonna play a little game, which we call a Three-Church, and we have asked people to submit some,

and guess what? They did. We thank our listeners for taking the time out of their day. We bless our listeners. We pray God's blessing. Father God, please bless our listeners in all that they do. Let them know that they are loved by us

and by you, Father God. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. May their leaving be bountiful. Their leaving? I don't know what that means. That sounds like a blessing. Droppings? Droppings.

I made droppings in the toilet. And I made too many, I guess. I don't know if there's a problem in here. Well, they're bountiful. Thank you, God. Thank you, Father God. For our bountiful leaveings. All right, this is a game called

alphabetical question game. It is submitted by and I believe this person has submitted a feature before Angela Dare they Angela Vivoff Vivacqua. Angie Lifewater. Vi Warchowski.

Nice. Yeah. This is submitted by Vi Warchowski who directed The Matrix with her sister. Players start by picking a location for a scene. The players then go in clockwise order and can only speak in questions.

Additionally, the first word of every question needs to go in alphabetical order as the scene progresses. Long pauses or starting a question with the incorrect letter eliminates you from the round. So it's the ABC game. Yes, with but all questions. Okay, okay, okay. So you have to ask a question

and it has to start with the next letter of the alphabet. Yes. And everything has to be a question that we say? Yes. And we're doing one word at a time or just an entire question? We're doing an entire question at a time and it has to be a scene.

Okay. So it has to progress. Got it, got it. And we're going clockwise? That's hard. Or counterclockwise, who gives a shit? Well, Paul doesn't know which one's which. So it always starts with me. And whoever jumps in next, we'll figure it out from there.

Okay, we'll go clockwise. All right, great. And it's a scene. And do we need a suggestion from the crowd? They've been very silent. They shouted out. They said Dildo Factory, but that begins with a D. And then they said pineapple, but I've heard that before.

That's even worse. Yeah. All right, I will start with a question that begins with the letter A. A, right at the old beginning of the elf. That's helpful. Did elf stand for alphabet? Yeah. And E-T stands for et. Et-ny.

Et cetera. Et-sy. Alphabet and et cetera. Two of my favorite et-sees, sorry. Alphalba. They're too late. From Wiki? No, I like yours. Thank you.

From Wiki, Wiki, Wiki? Et cetera. Is this part of the game that we're doing now? No, it's not. Okay. The game begins now. Oh, I pressed lap. Okay, the game begins now. Anyone hear that noise?

Boo. Did somebody hear boo? That's like two questions, but okay. Can't hear it myself. I think. So you mocked me. Terrible. It's right after that. And it's impossible. Start over. Can you hear it? Okay.

No, no. Okay, we'll start over. No, keep going. No, keep going. Okay, can you hear it? Didn't you hear somebody say boo? Even if I did, would that help anything? Friends, should I be the one to open my stupid ears and listen to this?

Go and open the door. I'm not going to open the door. I'm not going to open the door. I'm not going to open the door. I'm not going to open the door. I'm not going to open the door. I'm not going to open the door. I'm not going to open the door.

I'm not going to open the door. I'm not going to open the door. I'm not going to open the door. I'm not going to open the door. I'm not going to open the door. I'm not going to open the door. I'm not one to open my stupid ears and listen to this? Go and open the door, won't you? Good save. I honestly did forget. How do you open this door? I think you just kind of like press on it really hard.

Oh no, don't you? The don't you will save you any time. Just over here, I think? The question part of this is impossible. I think we're doing great. Okay, all right. Knowing what you know about doors, do you think that maybe I should turn the knob?

Lapgus, do you think I should try to turn the knob? Copycat. Most doors go this way. Don't they? In my experience, bud but I don't know. No. About, about. Okay.

Oh gosh. So you're on air? Now if I don't open it, are we stuck in here? Oh my God. I think we might be, but how do you open it? Pry it with a crowbar, why don't you? I'm trying to pry it with a crowbar, aren't I? Really? This is happening to me on my birthday?

Silence! Won't you? Silence won't you? Alright, Lauren won. Let's do it again. Let's start with Lauren. Okay, it's a great game. I like it. I like it. Go the other way.

Okay. The suggestion is pool. The game. The game. Billiards. Billiards. Snooker. Okay. Anyone want to go swimming? Anyone want to go swimming? Oh, back to me. OK.

But aren't all the pools drained in this area? Can you shut up for a second? Don't you want to shut up for a second? Christ, why are you yelling at me? Why can't you go backwards to see? Oh, wait, sorry. You're out. I said, gee. Let me be in. Let me be in. Christ, why are you yelling at me? Why did you go backwards to see? Oh wait, sorry. You're out. I said G. Let me be E.

Alright, you can be E, but it's gotta be E. Everyone thinks... Yes, they do. Everyone heard that, right? Friends, am I hearing what I think I'm hearing? Hearing what? You forgot G. Glasses say what?

Glasses say what? What does that mean? Glasses say what? Glasses say what? What does that mean? Glasses say what? Hear that? I... wonder if I can. It's kind of a statement. Yeah, it kind of is. Oh well. Alright, how about? You're out.

Why are we putting people out of the game? Why don't we just keep going? I don't know. Okay, keep going to Z? Yeah, just try again. I can't believe it's taking us this long. Like, who gives a shit? You can always put people out?

Yeah, really. You're saying like, why don't we just keep going? Why are we making it a competition? Well, because it ends it eventually. Yeah, exactly. There's a definite- We'll end at Z. If there's a definite end, then we know we can,

we don't have to take people out. Yeah, okay. If I listen really closely, do you think I can? Where are all of these about listening to something? Gibbets on the floor? Classes say what? Gibbets on the floor? Two classic questions. Most of these came from somebody's shoe.

Jay, what about Kay? How about Elle? Yeah, at least go to Elle if you're going to skip. At least go to Elle! Knights have jivets, don't they? Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, Don't you? Lots say what? Lots of them, wouldn't you? Glasses say what? Glasses say what? Jibbitz? On the floor?

May I please have a drink of water? What? May I please have a drink of water? Oh, okay. Neighbor, may I also have a drink of water? Oh gosh, I wonder if I'm out of water! Why would you wonder? Another statement? Is it? I wonder. Sometimes I wonder how's the question mark at the end.

Oh gosh. Am I out of water? A question is something that has a question mark at the end. Oh gosh, am I out of water? It's so confident now. Pretty please. May I have a cookie? Quietly, I ask.

May I also have a cookie? Quietly, I ask. Really, why do you want a cookie so badly? So we can eat, please. Yeah. Really, why do you want a cookie so badly? So we can eat, please? If it pleases the court. Trying to fatten up, don't you think I need it? Under where? Under where? Under what?

Oh, you made me say underwear. Very thin. Very thin. Here comes the Yoda construction. The Yoda would be amazing in this game. Very thin, are you not? Very thin, haven't you been worried? Very worried.

Very? She did V. Oh, she did V. Okay. Why would I be worried? Xylophones are fun to play, aren't they? You're losing your mind, I believe. Ah!

That hand gesture makes it a question. I believe. Oh my God. Zooms. Zooms God. Zunes. Zunes? God's wounds. Yeah, Shakespeare much? The immortal bard. Okay, I'm familiar with him.

Zunes, is there any decent man in this kingdom? We did it. We did it. We did it. What a scene. That was a good scene. It made a lot of sense. It built on each other. Yeah. Good scene. Good scene. We did it. We did it. What a scene. That was a good scene.

That was great. It made a lot of sense. It built on each other. Yeah. Good scene. I liked how we would plateau sometimes where we would see three people saying the same thing in different ways and then we'd move on to an entirely different topic. I'm proud of us.

I'm proud. I'm very proud of us. I'm really proud of that. I like us. My wife likes us. Yeah, I actually feel really good about that. Yeah. Well, guys, that's going to wrap it up for us on one episode of Freedom that we just did.

Oh, I was crying. I cried too, but it was sad. Yeah, I was so sad. I was sad because I knew the episode was almost over. I was sad thinking of the people in the scene. Yeah, because they were hungry, they wanted cookies and they were so thirsty, but then the guy wouldn't give them. They were confounded. The one guy had body support.

Yeah. Yeah. That was hard. Where he thought he was too skinny. Does that ever happen? But we'll see you next week. And remember to head over to the Freedom Instagram. It's at Freedom USA.

We have, our intern is chained. I don't know what is our intern's up to. I hope it's not by the- No, I'm actually- As of this recording, we gotta fire Satan. I think we're going to. It's not good. How do you fire Satan?

I don't know, he's trying to eat us. A lot is going wrong. Yeah. Why did he even enter the race to become an intern? That's what you gotta fear. Doesn't he have enough to do? Yeah, you know? Yeah, I know.

With tempting every single person every single minute of the day? Guys, what's the criteria for the next person? Like we wanted someone hot, we got Satan, that's as hot as it gets. We need to think about what we want. You know what? That is the kind of thing that Satan loves,

his wordplay, where it's like a loophole. So not like that anymore. We want someone that's extremely attractive, objectively beautiful. Objectively beautiful. And rich. And really smart. And really smart, yeah. Really smart, beautiful, and rich. And like they don't- Why do you want them to be rich and like they don't be rich because they don't well

I think if they're rich, it's good because then they're an unpaid intern They're not gonna be worried. Yeah, and also it implies that they're very talented and have made something of themselves Well, that's a dangerous way to think about it So a Joe millionaire type got that guy that guy, that millionaire, oh yeah. I'm worried we're gonna get Joe millionaireed. If we do, we do. It's worth it. That honestly is dangerous.

Worth the risk, you know what? I have no argument for that. Okay. So listen and subscribe to this wherever you get podcasts. You can hear the ad free version over on Stitcher Premium or at cbbworld.com. Meow. Meow.

Meow. I think we've given you the tools you need to have a great life. That's all you need. That's all you need. Teach a man to fish. Teach a man to fish, everybody. Goodbye. Go teach a man to fish this week.

Bye, everyone. And a little six inch little fish and keep it as a pet. This message is sponsored by Kologard. Because of my own health journey, increasing awareness around the importance of colon cancer screening is a mission close to my heart. And one common misconception about screening for colon cancer is that you should start at age 50. But in actuality, if you're at average risk, the recommended age to start screening is 45. And a great use at home option to screen for colon cancer

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result should be followed by a colonoscopy, not a replacement for colonoscopy in high-risk patients. The Cologar test is available by prescription only. Hi, everyone. Gloria Riviera here, and we are back for another season of No One Is Coming to Save Us, a podcast about America's child care crisis. This season, we're delving deep into five critical issues facing our country through the lens of child care, poverty, mental health, housing, climate change, and the public school system. By exploring these connections, we aim to highlight

that child care is not an isolated issue, but one that influences all facets of American life. Season four of No One is Coming to Save Us is out now wherever you get your podcasts.