Threedom - Threevisiting: Good Couch, Bad Couch

Episode Date: July 15, 2025

Threevisiting on the Tues: Scott, Paul & Lauren discuss comfy couches and spiders before playing Celebrity Hunt. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Listen ad-free and unlock bi-weekly THREEMIUMS on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Make life suck less with fewer ads with Lemonada Premium. Freedom! Yeah, we took a quiet approach that time. Freedom! Wow. I did Scary Whisper like an horror movie. Ah, and horror. Freedom. And horror. And Rand Horror.

How's everyone doing? And Rand Horror? What if you wrote horror novels like Anne Rice? Einrein. Einrein. Einrein. Einrein. Einrein horror? Well just change your name to Anne if you have to name it. Einrein horror.

Welcome to Zeridum. I love to get a hiss out of Lauren this early in the morning. Hey, let's tell people what we're doing. Really? We're recording four episodes in a row. In a goddamn row. Yeah, so if you don't like two in a row, you're not gonna like four in a row. In a goddamn row. Yeah, so if you don't like two in a row, you're not gonna like four in a row, bitch.

Or maybe you'll like that the most, and that's what you'll demand from now on. That's true. That'd be great, though. We just did one Sunday a month, cranked him out, moved it along. Destroyed our friendships. Destroyed our Sundays.

Yeah. No longer able to go to church. Yeah, well, one Sunday a month. Well, it's just one out of a month, yeah. I know, but I can't- What if we destroyed the Sundays and made them break up? I'm worried the devil's gonna get me. I think they probably already did.

No. And this is how I find out? They only have one great song. They probably have a lot of other- Which one do you consider their great song? I consider, hold on, I gotta think of the name of it. Who are we talking about? The Sundays? Oh, oh. think of the name of it. Who are we talking about? The Sundays?

Oh, oh. Here's where the story ends. They have a million great songs. Do you know the song? They do? They only know that one. They only have like three albums. My favorite song of theirs is I Won.

Wait, so you're telling- I won the war in the living room. I won, Sitting Room, of course, they're British. I'm sorry, you're telling me that I'm about to find out that I love a ton of songs by The Sundays. Don't look at me, he said that. They're all great. My ex-girlfriend, it was her favorite band.

Wow. Well, she was in the band. Yeah. So that's not. Yeah. But it's her favorite. Here, let's hear a little bit of I Won by The Sundays. This is how we're getting through this.

Yeah. Exactly. If any song is. Oh, that was just a little. Uh-oh. Did he lie? Somehow my computer's frozen. Oh no.

And I'm getting the spinning wheel. Is that gonna be bad for what we're doing right now? No, no, it's still recording. Okay, great. But I mean, it's bad in the sense of what we're doing right now trying to listen to the Sundays I won. Oh, I would love to hear it. I could play it.

Hey, hold on. It's supposedly playing. I could play it. Uh, hey, hold on. It's supposedly playing. I don't know. Hold on bright eyes. How's everyone's morning going so far? Oh my gosh. Let's catch up on the day. You had a banana and I, what was it?

Brown or yellow? No, it was a classic freedom Brown. And don't forget everybody's got to get out of the building by 3pm because there is a carbon dioxide leak and none of those sensors are working anymore. We forgot to change the batteries. But you still have eight hours to get out. Yeah. I love it when you take a candle to the set and turn the lights on. I'd like to tell some nice things. Yeah, man. This is what this show is.

That's what this is. I'm liking it. It's a good song. What is it about? She won what? I think it's a fight within the house. It's a fight within the house. I figured it out.

She won the war in the sitting room. She won the war, but it cost her. Oh no, that's the thing about war. It's a good... Scott, you are right. That's the thing about war. It's a good, Scott, you are right. That's the thing about war, indeed. It's not just fun. Welcome to Three to Mine, Paul.

I'm Scott. Oh no. I'm Lauren. What happened there? He got scared because he thought I was gonna talk. I never asked if you wanted your headphones turned on. That's a very common feeling around here. I don't want them turned up, that's for sure.

Do you want them turned down? Indeed. Indeed? Just a little. Sure. How's your Sunday, Lauren? What's. Indeed? Just a little. Sure. How's your Sunday, Lauren? What's going on? My Sunday's going great.

What does Lauren Lapkus do on a Sunday? This is- It's the same thing I do every morning. I got up with Holly and we played in the living room. What is playing? Like, what do you do? We played musical instruments. Which one? And we played on the couch.

She likes tambourine and she likes the little xylophone. Which couch? The main couch, the one in that room. Scale of one to 10, how comfortable is that couch? It's actually in a million. I got the best couch. Oh. I'm not kidding.

Really? I splurged on a really nice couch. We somehow we got- Good for you. Thank you. We got good couch, like nice looking couches. Oh no, not good couch, bad couch. Yeah. They look great, but they're not amazingly comfortable, you're saying?

One goes to get coffee, and then the other one comes back in. Um, if I lie on them for like a few hours, my back hurts. Which is bad for a couch, right? Yeah. Yeah, but this is- They're pretty stiff. This is the plight of the tall, is it not? a few hours my back hurts, which is bad for a couch, right? Yeah. Yeah. But this is the plight of the tall, is it not? This is why I got a very long couch. It's a very fluffy couch.

A very, very long couch. It's great. Oh, you got it from Tesla. Tiffany couches? It's a Tiffany Tesla. Hi, I'm Tiffany Tesla. Elon Musk is inside of it massaging you as you lay. Ew. Oh, god. He is. Do you know inside of it massaging you as you lay.

Oh god. He is. Do you know what? I bet he's bad at massages. I bet he gives terrible massages. Yeah, I don't think he's someone who thinks about others. Oh, he always wants one. Yeah.

It's like, sorry babe, I'm bad at massages. But you give him one. I'll do you for two seconds. The I'm bad at massages thing is rough. Because it turns out I am bad at them, but I try. Cool Up said she was really good at them when we first started dating and she turned out she was bad at them.

Yeah. And that was a tough conversation. Has she recognized that now? Does she know? Well, I was like, hey, don't press down on my spine, please. Oh, Mike says I don't do it hard enough. And I'm like, I'll use all my strength in my body and it's just not.

Do you use your elbow? No, I don't do my elbow. I mean, just my hands, but body and it's just not. Do you use your elbow? No, I don't do my elbow. I mean, just my hands, but it's not doing it. You do the people's elbow. The people's elbow, the hands. Yes, nature's elbow. No, you fools, it's a wrestling reference. What?

Who wrestled? Dwayne the Rack Jonstown. Jonstown? Wow. What did he talk about? Why did he say that? Jane the Rack Jonstown. Why did Jane say that?

Because he would, you know, he would like give, Why did he say that? Jane the Rack Johnstown. Why did Jane say that? Because he would like, you know, he would like give, he would do like a flying leap and then hit you with the elbow. And he'd say the people's elbow. I think is what he would do. He would call that the people's elbow. He was very populist wrestler.

Wow. That guy retired. Who the Rock? Jane the Rock? Vince McMahon. Oh yeah, in shame. Vince Who, The Rock? Jane The Rock? Vince McMahon. Oh yeah, in shame. Vince McMahon. In shame?

In shame. I think so. I don't know anything about it. He had so many, are we talking about real people again on this show? No, we shouldn't do it. He had so many accusations against him, I believe. I did not know such thing. He didn't mention that in his announcement.

Oh, he didn't? Hey, look guys, sorry. Two to the guy. Way too many accusations against me. After 100 accusations, I now have to retire. Well, like, he didn't? Hey, look guys, sorry. Two to the guess. Way too many accusations against me. After 100 accusations, I now have to retire. Well, like what's that, what do they say when someone just lost a match? Goodbye. Is there a standard thing that they declare the winner?

Well, they slap on the floor. Okay. So someone did that next to him. It would have been more fluid had I known possibly what it was. That would have been a great goodbye to him. Yes, as he was pinning and underling down someone slapped the mat three times. No, his accusers pinned him down and then other people slapped him. That's right.

People saying, how do you like it? I don't know anything about it. I'll say that 10 more times. and other people slap. That's right. Slap his ass. People saying, how do you like it? Like, I don't know anything about it. I'll say that 10 more times. I don't claim to know anything. Hey, I don't either, and I wanna keep talking about it. Yeah, what do we think wrestling is? I think it's a beautiful play.

Let's start there, yeah. It is a beautiful play. It is kind of a, it's improvised play with beats, right? It's improvised play with beats. In eighth grade, a friend of mine got very into WWF. What, Lauren? When I was in eighth grade, a friend of mine- We can't hear you, we're talking.

It's like minute two. When I was in eighth grade, my friend got very into WWF. What's the F-stimp? The World Wrestling Federation. Fededer-ation. Feder-ation. Fetterman. Wayne Fetterman. The World Wayne Fetterman. Wayne Wayne Fetterman, that's what it was.

Wayne Wayne. And she always wanted to watch it, and we would watch, can you smell what the rock is cooking, and like all those guys. And how do you not know about the people's elbow? Because I didn't really care. I just remember watching it.

You were just watching it supportively for your friend? And it was kind of an interesting, I think I've talked about this before, maybe, or just in my life, but her house was always really fun and I loved going there and she had little siblings and they were so fantastic. What was fun about her house? Don't move on from that.

Well, part of what was really fun about it, and this is the part that now as an adult, I see as being not fantastic is that her mom had gone through a divorce recently. So there was nothing in the house. So it was we could run around, we could play, we had a big, big yoga balls, we'd bounce them all over the place, jump on them, do whatever we want. Because she had no possessions. Because her ex-husband took them all. Go ahead, I don't care. Yeah, so looking back, I think, well, that's too bad.

But at the time, really fun. And my friend was also allowed to put whatever she wanted on her walls and stuff. And it was kind of a free-for-all. What did she decide to put on her walls? Magazine cutouts and clippings and celebrities. And move the rock. Yeah.

And then we'd watch the rock. Do you think she wanted a strong father figure and that's why she liked The Rock and wrestling in general? Probably, yeah. No, her dad lived around the corner. It was really no big deal. The Rock will be my father figure. Put your tongue in the rock.

I know what he's cooking. I've never heard you laugh like that. It was so mirthful. She wanted The Rock to suplex her mom. Oh yeah. Suplex? Oh yeah! What's that?

Like a duplex but above? Yeah. It's above, it's the floor above. As above so below? What are you doing over there? Yeah, Paul has been fiddling with chords and stuff for the past 15 minutes. And yet I have been paying attention and participating.

BYOC? And I don't mean chords on a guitar. BYOC. And I don't mean chords on a guitar. BYOC. Bringing on chords. Yes, I had a, I thought this would be a help, this connector, which is like- A connector is brought. Wow, that was really-

And it was giving me peaking. It was like peaking in my headphones. It's giving me peaking. It's giving peaking. You know what? It's giving distortion. Paul, those headphones are better for headphones. It's giving me peaking. It's giving peaking. You know what? It's giving distortion. Paul, those headphones are better for you. What's that?

Oh dear. I said those headphones are better for you than the ones you usually use. Yeah, well, I'm using over ear headphones because if I use in ears for an entire day, I think I'm gonna be unhappy. Yeah. And I'm gonna take it out on you guys.

Ear buds are very bad for you, I think. For your hearing. Ear buds are very bad for you. Because I've had troubles. With your tinnitus. Oh no, here we go with Scott's troubles. It's tinnitus? Well, okay, I said tinnitus.

Oh my God, is it tinnitus? I said tinnitus to Huey Lewis and he corrected me and said, tinnitus. Sorry Huey, but it's tinnitus. No one's ever said tinnitus. I've heard tinnitus before, but fuck that, said, tinnitus. Sorry, Huey, but it's tinnitus. No one's ever said tinnitus. I've heard tinnitus before, but fuck that. It's tinnitus. I'll be Googling.

It's supposedly tinnitus. Which would you rather say that you had? I would rather say tinnitus all the time. It's so fun. Because tinnitus sounds like you're saying something ridiculous. It reminds me and rhymes with penis. Penis.

When I think about my tinnitus, I think about my penis. I have tinnitus of the penis. And the tittus. My penis is too loud. Many people pronounce it tinitis as if it is a condition such as laryngitis. However, it's actually pronounced tinitis. As if it's a condition such as, yeah, that's why I'm doing it. Tinnitus. It just makes sense. The English is so strange. As if it's a condition such as, yeah, that's why I'm doing it. Tinnitus.

It just makes sense. The English is so strange. But maybe that's, no, see it says British people always say tinnitus and American say tinnitus. See, when I first heard someone say tinnitus, I assumed it was a British person saying, oh, I have tinnitus. Yeah, I don't say urinal.

I've got a tinnitus of the ear. But I was after urinal. I've got a little bit of tinnitus inside my head. A little bit of tinnitus of the ear. I have a tinnitus. I was at a urinal. I've got a little bit of tinnitus inside my head. A little bit of tinnitus in my head. A little bit of pinnitus in my head. Pinnitus. Here's what I gleaned though, Paul. Oh, Scott's gleanings?

I started having- Scoob-a-dood-dood-dood, Scott's gleanings. His tinnitus really flared up when he had the earbuds. I started because I went to Palm Springs once and I spent all day out. Oh, I've been there a million times. I've been there so many times.

You're not allowed to play music outside in Palm Springs. Right. But I really- In all of Palm Springs? In all of Palm Springs. Wow. In the city limits, you're not allowed to play outdoor music. And they will come- This is why a lot of Airbnbs suffer in Palm Springs.

They will- Yeah, you have to go to a hotel and hear their shitty music by the pool. Yes, yes. So it's like in Palm Springs. They will, they will. Yeah, you have to go to a hotel and hear their shitty music by the pool. Yes, yes. So it's like a neighborhood thing. The police will literally come and find the owners of the place.

They got nothing to do, I guess. So I was wearing. They'll come and find, it's like the child catcher. Like, yeah, where is that noise coming from? Butterfly net. Yeah. To your stereo. So I wanted to listen to music

because I was on vacation. And you're grooving, you're a grooving dude. I was reading John Hodgman's book and so I put on my iPod for six hours or whatever and with earbuds and then I started having trouble with my ears whenever I would podcast. It would just get really horrible. Six hours.

Yeah, out by the pool. That's a really long time. Not talking to anyone. That's a lot. Not really reading the book, but just my eyes glazing over, reading the same sentence 4,000 times. In the 102 degree heat. Not comprehending anything.

But yeah, so then I started reading because my sound person on the Ferns movie gave me some headphones, was like, oh, this will help. Because I was wearing earbuds when I was at the monitors trying to listen to stuff. That's crazy too. Why didn't you put on the over ears? That's what he gave me.

And he gave me some special over ears. And then the more I started researching it, the more I was like, oh shit, you're only supposed to wear earbuds for an hour. And that's it, really. Otherwise it damages your hearing. Anyway, so I would say- No matter what the volume is?

Yeah. Because if you're rollerblading in a marathon. Thank you, Lauren. Yeah, I mean, if you're on, if you're on like an episode of Charlie's Angels and you're rollerblading. Yeah. Yeah, where you're- On an episode of Charlie's Angels. Yeah, that's where that happens. And that's only where that happens.

It's the most common place. Sure. Yeah, of course. But anyway- Or if you're in an opening montage of somebody being in California, and that's only where that happens. It's the most common place. Sure. Yeah, of course. But anyway. Or if you're in an opening montage of somebody being in California and they show Venice Beach for two seconds. Sure. Yeah.

Yeah. I would love to be in one of those, man. You can. Some day. How? I'll make a show and I'll put you in it. Would you please? Only in the opening montage? Yeah. Roller gliding?

You're in the opening montage, which is on the beginning of every episode, it's the exact same opening montage? Rollerblading? You're in the opening montage, which is on the beginning of every episode, it's the exact same opening montage every time, but we don't draw attention to it, and then you get residuals. Don't draw attention to it. You get residuals from being in the opening montage? No one says, hey, is that the same opening montage?

I had a friend who did. Really? Yeah. No more can be said about that. Well, I didn't mean the opening theme song. I mean, there's a montage. There's just a montage, oh really? Of like people preparing to go rollerblading?

There's rollerblading, there's people playing volleyball. So the show has started. Yeah. The new episode has started. We're kind of setting the scene. And that montage is always a part of it. Yeah. That's why we don't say it's the same one.

There's a separate montage. No matter where the first scene is located. The first scene's in an office. We see the people rollerblading outside, swimming and stuff, playing volleyball. And it's in Wisconsin. Boy, I wish I was in Los Angeles right now. Yeah, that was their daydream they were always having.

It sounds like a good show. It does sound like a good show. It sounds like a good show. Sounds like something I watch every single day of my freaking life. Speaking of, anybody watch anything good? I will tell you this. I recently saw a video about baseball in Finland.

Whoa. And basically what happened was a guy from Finland went to America. No. In the early 1900s or something. One guy, only one guy went to America. They could only afford to fly one. They sent one.

Yeah. They were like, go check out America. So let us know what's going on. Other people came, but only one was there. Scott, there was no internet. Oh, this makes sense. So he had to report back. They're like, go write down everything you see

and take some pictures. Yeah, in your mind and draw them. This guy saw some baseball games. He was fascinated by it. Wow. Came back to Finland. He's like, there's this stick. Let's start there.

Honestly, it's pretty much. Let's start there. Honestly, it hits a circle. Pretty much like that. Really? He explained it to the best of his recollection. Oh, well, that's a mess. So then they tried to play it? They still do play it that same way.

But it's their version of it. Yes. Just based on this guy's easy memory. He taught them how to play. Yes. He said, here's how baseball is played. First of all, it's called blazeball. Here's how baseball is said, here's how baseball is played. First of all, it's called blaze ball. Here's how blaze ball is played.

Here's how blaze ball is played. Blaze ball, blaze. What are the main differences? Like what do they use as a bat? Everything is different. They use a bat, but the bases are like a zigzag pattern. If you get to a third base, it's a home run. If you weren't paying attention though,

you wouldn't probably pick up the fact that they're in a square. Now here's- Diamond. If you weren't paying attention, but baseball famously... Sorry, too. Baseball famously lasts eight hours long and there's no way you cannot see the patterns. Maybe he couldn't stay because he had to go investigate the rest of America. I think he got drunk at the game.

That probably happened. It just passed out. But it's so... So zigzag pattern, if you get to third, you win, you get a point. There's like a big round plate at home plate that if you- A circle? Yeah, but it's like it's raised. It's like a trash can lid turned upside down.

That seems okay. It's so, if you, there's something about if you get a ball, if you throw the ball in there, like I think you only get three swings, that's it. And if you throw the ball onto the circle plate? It's a strike or something, it's wild. I'll send you the video, it's wild. But can I just say that if you did describe baseball

exactly right, it still sounds like what you just said. That's true. Like everyone gets up two thirds of the way through and sings about candy. They land on these little diamonds. I disagree. First of all, the word diamond, I think would be extraordinarily helpful.

Yeah, that would be, yeah. Diamond, but- And you're also talking about clubs, like baseball clubs. They land on these little flats. And you need a lot of heart to play. Flat little things called bases. It's just too confusing.

You know, but- They're not even flat though, they're three dimensional. That's the other thing. Home plate is famously shaped like a little house. Yeah. It is famous. Yeah. It's famous for being the Home plate is famously shaped like a little house. Yeah. It is famous. Yeah. It's famous for being the most house-like shaped thing.

But wouldn't that be a weird thing if someone came back and said, so then what they have, they have a little house at the beginning. You start in house, but that's home. Well, you would, yes, you would say a home. Well, home is where the hardest. I may be just putting it together that it's shaped like a house because it's called a home.

Home base, I don't think I ever have really thought that either. I might lie and say I have, but I don't think I have. But which came first? Is that why it's shaped like a house because it's called a home. Home base? I don't think I ever have really thought that either. I might lie and say I have, but I don't think I have. But which came first? Is that why it's shaped that way? Yeah. I don't know. A hundred percent. I bet it is.

Wow. It's fun, isn't it? Isn't that fun? The most obvious answer is the right one. It's like Ockham's razor. Ah-cham. So when I asked you- It's actually Huey Lewis told me it was pronounced ah-chem.

So why isn't first base shaped like a one, second base shaped like a two? Well, that would be easier. Third base shaped like a three. Well, easier to remember, harder to get on base, I think. If it had, what if they wrote number one on it? Oh.

Just to kind of keep it clear. I like how it's like everyone remembers which is which. I guess it's good that everyone remembers. They memorize it. That's the first thing you do in baseball camp. They don't give baseball players enough credit for memorizing, for memorization. Has there ever been-

Like they go out to the same places every time when they're in the field. Paul, has there ever been a time, you're the baseball fanatic here. Has there ever been a time- Well, don't speak so soon. Has there ever been a time where someone hit the ball and then started running towards third

and everyone's like, no, no, dude. There must have been. Well, were they doing like, were they doing dizzy bats? Back at, dizzy bats. Why don't they do that after every game? I don't know. At least for like fourth of July or something like that. Come on.

You're gonna see major league players do dizzy bats. That would be so fun. For the All-Star game, do dizzy bats. I would love. In between the home run derby. They have, exactly, if they have a home run derby, why don't they have a night of dizzy bats? I want more sleep. I would love. Between the home run derby. They have, exactly, if they have a home run derby, why don't they have a night of Dizzy bats? I want more sleazy.

I would want Dizzy bat night. Oh, I would love that. Also, like, make that be a thing where you come to the stadium and it's like, it's Dizzy bat night. And the players have to do Dizzy bats before the game. And then they throw up. And everyone gets a whipped pie to the face.

Yes. Wait, what? A whipped cream pie. No, it's a whipped pie. Just a pie that they whip. Look, we're gonna- It's the highest meringue you've ever seen. We're gonna have to pick this up after the break.

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Speeds may slow above 35 gigabytes on unlimited plan, taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details. An Australian hiker travels to the American West to walk a wilderness trail. Wasn't afraid to be out on his own. But Eric Robinson vanished in the Hiawinta Mountains. I remember thinking, Eric, what were you thinking, mate? I'm Dave Colley. Join me on my podcast, Uinta Triangle, where I travel the world to answer

the question, what happened to Eric Robinson? Follow Uinta Triangle. That's U-I-N-T-A Triangle on Apple podcasts or wherever you listen. U-I-N-T-A Triangle on Apple podcasts or wherever you listen. And we're back. Did you say I want some prizes or surprises? I want surprises. Lauren immediately went to Instagram. Which is it? What I really need to do.

It's my addiction. I have a- And I saw minkus. Hit find addiction. I have a nice little sight line on her phone here. And it was just like she picked up her phone the minute we said, let's go to a break. And I saw- I got a Hit by a bitch. I have a nice little sight line on her phone here. And it was just like she picked up her phone the minute we said, let's go to a break. And I saw.

I got a sight line on that gorgeous boot. And I saw Minkus from Boy Meets World. I will plug my friend's podcast. You saw Jadakiss from Boy Meets World? Minkus. Who's Minkus? You saw Jadakiss from Boinking World? Who's Minkus?

Okay. My friend Danielle Fischl who played Topanga on Boy Meets World has a new podcast called Pod Meets World. This is a podcast that I actually, I'm finding it fascinating. Wait, is it? Because it's a friend of yours. I hope it's a celebrity breaking down the television show that they were on.

It is, but do you know what makes it really good? I, cause I was like, I'm typically, I don't listen to shows that recap, um, television shows that the stars were actually, that they were on. Okay. I don't typically listen to that, that everyone can do whatever they want. You listen to shows that recap. Television shows that the stars were actually. That they were on. Okay. I don't typically listen to that. That everyone can do whatever they want. You listen to static mainly. I do.

Really loud in my earbuds for six hours by the pool. But what it is is, what makes it so interesting is it's three of the stars from the show because they were child actors on it. So they're telling, they're shedding light on what it was like when they were like 13, 15, 16. The abuses, of course, yeah. And all that stuff, and it's really honest about it.

Re-enlisting them. There wasn't a lot of abuse so far, but I'm saying. Did you say real Pearlman? No, Lou Pearlman. Okay. Are Lou Pearlman and real, real? I just wanna finish my thought because it's not that they're saying

there's a lot of abuse, I just wanna say. When people stop being polite and start getting real Pearlman. True story. But just wanna say. When people stop being polite and start getting real Pearlman. Ha ha ha ha ha. True story. But anyway. Norm. Really raw and real and I really like it and I'm really enjoying it.

So if you might be interested in that, you should listen to that. You like things that are raw and real. I do, I love. Sex? I love to watch raw porn. Raw. Like the unedited version.

Yeah, I wanna see the breaks. I love watching porn dailies. People drinking water in between scenes. Scenes. Asking questions about logistics. Yeah. That sounds like a lot of fun. Should we?

That sounds like a lot of fun. On an episode that'll be coming out soon. Should we turn this show into recapping some television show that we've all watched? I'm trying to think of a show that the three of us have watched. You should just recap Comedy Bang Bang every episode of the podcast and the TV show. You'll have 8,000 episodes.

I don't remember any of these. And then you'll be in the grave. Podcast episode. Well, you don't have to remember it. You just watch it back and you talk about it. You watch it back. Yeah. Yes. Play it on your laptop. Well, we always did like fake commentaries

for the TV show episodes. It would be fun to do it. It's where Jarls came from. Yeah, it would be fun to do like real commentary. On the DVD or something? Yeah, because what was happening. It's where Jarls came from. Yeah, it would be fun to do real commentary. On the DVD or something? Yeah, because what was happening? I don't remember. I don't remember.

Neither do I. How many hours have we podcasted? That's scary to consider. Individually and cumulatively. Lauren, you're gonna get a taste of what it's like when we do the best stuff for Comedy Bang Bang. What do you mean? Because we do them.

Oh, we do them all in one day. All in one day. I'm gonna get a taste. Today. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, what's going on? What am you mean? Cause we do them. Oh, we do them all in one day. All in one day. I'm gonna get a taste. Today. Today. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, what's going on? What am I doing? What am I doing here?

I didn't mean it to be like a threat. You're gonna get a taste of it. Of my knuckles in a sandwich. Well, yeah, I mean. Just a taste. I think it's gonna be interesting to watch us, you know, sort of devolve into nothingness. Sure.

Into nothingness. Yeah. Would just be little puddles on chairs. Yeah. That'd be interesting to watch us sort of devolve into nothingness. Sure, into nothingness. Yeah. We'll just be little puddles on chairs. Yeah, that'd be cool. You ever buy anything from Goop? Hold on a second. You know what?

Before we get to Goop, do you remember when Fred Flintstone got yelled at by his boss and he shrunk? No. Did he become the size of that little Magoo alien? He was talking about- The big gazoo or something? Yeah.

Dub dubs. He was talking to his boss on the phone. His boss was chewing him out and he shrank down. What? Because he was humiliated. Yes, exactly. And that's what would happen on that show? Yeah. Okay. Every episode.

That's so pointless. And it would be him trying to get his morale up so he can grow again. What was the point of Flintstones? It was just never at a point. What were they trying to do? Can I say that the great comic book writer, Mark Russell, did a 12 issue run on the show. so we can grow again. What was the point of Flintstones? It was just never at a point. What were they trying to do? Can I say that the great comic book writer, Mark Russell, did a 12 issue run of the Flintstones,

which is incredible. You know what, I would love to be in a movie like the Flintstones. Doesn't that seem fun to act in? It does seem fun. Speaking of Goop, why did you ask me that? Oh, I saw some Goop like shower something in our bathroom today. And I was like, people are, people are still ordering goop.

Like it's branded goop. First of all, people being your wife. Your wife? Yes. I feel like- I'm not on there online tracking everything she orders, by the way. That's probably- Mixing things.

You've got a full name. Got a full name. But you get in the show, you go, people are still buying goop? Like things just appear. I thought it was like a joke thing. No, it's not a joke. What, her vagina candle? Well, I mean, just the company in general.

No, I don't think it's a joke at all, my dear boy. That would be funny if Gwyneth Paltrow was like, I'm gonna, this is for fun. I thought she did something for fun recently, like a prank, and everyone took it seriously. Well, yeah, she did. She's part of impractical jokers. That was when she put the diaper,

she put online like a diaper that was made out of like gold and it was like gold leaf diapers and it was for sale. Oh, fuck you. No, no, no, no, no. It was a joke to raise awareness about how things are not affordable like that. And there's like a diaper. She's not the one to make that joke.

I don't, look, I think we'd have to get into the ins and outs of what she was trying to do. Bono should make that joke. Which I didn't know. Yes, he famously gives homeless people $100. That being said, I have never ordered anything from Goop, but I have spent time on the website. And my friend recently told me about something

that she thought I would like from there, which is a patio umbrella. And she was like, I can get you a discount. And I said, I'm interested. Wait, is this Gwyneth herself? No, just a random friend. Lauren, I can get you a discount on a patio umbrella. But I was gonna look and see, well, that's the thing.

I haven't looked at it. I'm like, well, is it still gonna be $5 trillion because it's Goop? So I might not get it. But maybe it's quality. I mean, there's gotta be companies that split the difference between like Target and Goop. Oh yeah, but I love Target.

No, Target's great. I go to Target all the fricking time. But sometimes I feel like the stuff at Target is like, oh, okay, you can buy this, but in two years it's going to be. For sure, a lot of it's fast fashion and fast. Do you know Janie Hatta Tompkins, who I'm married to? Oh yeah, I've heard of her.

Janie Hatta Tompkins. Wow, and you've never even done that one. She, he was waiting for me to say the full name. She loves to enter contests, sweepstakes, things like that. She loves it. She loves it. And one time she won this portable cabana, like a beach cabana.

And so we set it up. There was one part. Set it up on the beach or set it up outside in your house? We set it up in the car. It was awkward. We set it up on the beach. Weird. It was awkward. We sat up on the beach. Random. It was random.

And there was one part that we couldn't quite figure out. A big part? Is it that part? We couldn't quite figure out how it came together and we got it together as best we could. Turns out it did not matter because it was broken, which we found out later. But then also, it was so fucking windy that this thing almost took off into the sky. Like we were sitting under it and like sand is just blowing all around us, but we were, you know, out of the sun. And then this

thing like flew up in the air and we had to jump up to our feet to grab it so it didn't become a weapon. That's Wizard of Oz shit. That's scary. But that thing was broken and we, I think they sent her, they were going to send her another one. Oh, so she wanted it. We don't have them anymore. Oh no. Did they send her something different or just be like, you're out of luck, Chuck? She was like, don't worry about it.

I once won a sweepstakes when I was little. What was it? Toys R Us. And I won a, it was a three little pigs house. And it was made of- Hopefully the brick one. Oh God, I hope it was the brick one. It was made of cardboard, but it was-

Oh no. But it was for me to play in. Oh, it was life sized? Oh, it was one of those. Or pig sized? Yeah, just like me, a little oinker. I could crawl inside it. This is when you were the size of a pig. Really Yeah, just like me, a little oinker. I could crawl inside it. This is when you were the size of a pig.

Really fun, yeah. But then you grew to be an adult and put away piggy things. Well, my arms went through both sides of the house and my legs popped through the bottom. And I realized I either had to wear it as a dress or donate it. Right. What did you decide?

I donated it to the garbage. I killed a giant bee in my home that was maybe a hornet. It had something, I could hear it buzzing from upstairs. It was like. So it was not a bumble, not a big bumble, a queen. It was a bzzz, like really loud and it was very big. I could see it like from far away. It might have not been a bee.

How did you kill it? It was definitely a bee, but I don't know what style of bee it was. Killer bee maybe? Whoa. Sure. Applebee? What I did, because I was panicking

because obviously with Holly, I'm even more concerned about Holly. Oh yeah, has she ever been sung by a bee yet? No, but I got sung by a bee like a month ago. Oh no! Oh, Jesus. I know, so you had another reason I wanted to get rid of this motherfucker.

Yeah, with extreme prejudice. Yeah. Not again, not in my house. Not in my house. Where my children sleep. Where my wife plays with the toys. I was panicking because I had to act quickly and there was nothing really around me,

so I grabbed a glass candle. Glass? It landed on the window. A candle holder or a glass? A glass candle with wax in it. It's a candle. Why are you, welcome to earth. It's made of glass and the container is a glass

and there's wax inside with a wick. Oh, I see, but the candle isn't glass. It's a- Scott, come on. I'm thinking of a big long glass candle. No, stop thinking of that. It's not a dildo. Oh my God, Scott, it's not that. So you grabbed a dildo, but you wanna call it a glass candle. No, it's not a dildo. Oh my God, Scott, it's not that.

So you grabbed a dildo, but you wanna call it a glass candle. So I grabbed a glass candle, and I put it on, like trapping it like a cup over the window. And then I had to rip a paper out of a book that was kind of far away, so I had to use my foot and like pull it over, I got out of a journal,

and then I ripped out a piece of paper. And then I- Holly wasn't helping? No, she was, thank God, upstairs. And so I shoved the paper in and it cut off the stinger. Like I just happened to trap it in such a way that it like cut it off and it fell off. And then it was basically writhing on.

Did it shrink like Fred Flinso? Yeah, it was so humiliated and I threw it outside and I was so proud. I was really like, wow, I really just did that. You dissected a beam. I will say first I swatted at it with a pillow, which was kind of insane. Yeah, of course.

That's go-to move number one. Yeah. Yeah. But I was pretty proud of myself. Also, by the way, Mike saw two black widows in our yard. Ew. You gotta move. Killers.

Two black widows, bam, move. Bam, bam, bam. I will say that when we have spiders in the house, neither Janie or I am big fans. And so, but what I, so that's my job. And so what I will do is, because the enemy of my enemy is my friend, I will scoop the, I use a manila envelope and I scoop the spider into the envelope.

How? And then you open the hand. I open it up. You mail it to Spider-Man. I mail it to Spider-Man. I believe you lost this. They all arrive dead and you think it's a threat. I like, I will either, if it's on the wall,

on the floor, whatever, scoop it up with the flap, so it gets in the envelope and then I release it outside. But often I will do this without even telling Janie. So do you have manillas all over the place ready to go? Why do you not tell Janie because you don't want her to think you live in a spider house? Yeah. She can never know the truth. Here's one that happened the other day.

I was standing in the kitchen and then I looked down and there's a fucking bug crawling on me on my dress. I don't even know how, how, how. And so I went crazy and like flipped it up and then it fucking disappeared. Like where did it go? Yeah, when that happens, it's fucking terrifying. I can't deal with that.

I'm like, where'd you go? You just go lay some eggs to wear? Like what's your fucking plan, dude? I don't like you. We had one where this dress isn't safe, better go lay some eggs. On Monday what's your fucking plan, dude? I don't like you. We had one where. This dress isn't safe, better go lay some eggs. On Monday, I guess, and Cool Up debated. I need backup.

Cool Up debated telling me this, but I guess there was a lizard in this room. Oh. Oh, a lizard. Lizard, it doesn't gross me out. Do you have a problem with them? A lizard doesn't gross me out with a bug. No, I love them.

When I went to Costa Rica, they. I think they're so funny. They were all guys that we go. It's strange we got little teeny babies that are like an inch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When I see one scamping around outside, I'm like, ha ha, lizard.

But when I went to Costa Rica, I mean, I wouldn't want it inside. They all, while you sleep, they're above you on the sea waves and stuff. You have talked about this, and I think that's actually horrible. Yes, it is horrible. I would not want to do that at all.

But those are also different lizards, aren't they? Those are different types of lizards. I wouldn't be able to sleep with that. There's two types of lizards in the world. Hey. There's two types of lizards in the world? Hey, there's two types of lizards in the world. There's you and the monster. Oh, and they watch you while you sleep in Costa Rica, and the other one scampers around outside. But yeah, there was one in here.

And then, okay, so then one- How'd she get it? How'd she get it? Open the door and shoo it out? I think so, yeah. And then there was a big debate about whether they should tell me or not. Oh, you guys were at podiums? Here's why I don't think we should.

Lincoln Douglas debate. You have 30 seconds to respond. I think he's going to cry himself to sleep if he knows there was a lizard in here. But here's the one. So we can't tell him. Here's the one that, that, uh, that was really bad was in my, in our old place where Cool Up

and I first lived together. Aw. Uh, I went into my office. Oh, your plant's dead. Yeah, it is. The plant that I never asked for. I killed a plant that was supposed to get that big. Now it looks like some Dr. Seuss shit.

Yeah, it actually is interesting when you think about it. So I walk into my office and I'm just stunned because there's a rat. No. And I- That's a different story. And it just like takes off. A rat's not okay. And I was like, did I even see that?

I, it was so weird to just see a rat. I had, oh, no, no, no. Janie and I were, I feel like I can't remember what caused this, but Janie and I were sitting in the living room one night and I was, I think it was that I was just very tired because I'm sitting on a couch. We can talk about my couch in a second. So you're tired so you decide, hey, I'll sit on a couch. I get it.

Yeah. Step number one, sit on the couch. See if that makes any difference. And so Janie is in this chair. We have a recliner in the living room. And I saw, like kind of behind her, I saw a, what looked like a rat. No. Just casually like walk across the floor.

Whoa. No. And I said, I don't want to alarm you, but I want you to get out of that chair and I want you to come over here. And then I looked all over for this rat. No. That did not exist.

So you just thought you saw it around? Well, it went through a hole. Or I full on hallucinated. No. Whoa. No, there was no hole. But I just can't. Can't they go under the molding?

They can go into the tiniest hole. I have two stories. Me too. One is that I. Well, I have three. I live. You guys is that I. Well I have three. I live. You guys are gonna keep me. I wanna complete my rat story at some point.

Okay, that's fine, you can have that goal. I once lived in a place. I love that for you. That had rats in the walls, I come to find out. Oh shit. I didn't know that, obviously. So you're the scratchy scratchy. Yeah, well no, I saw a poop. And I go, oh there's rat poop. We didn't know that, obviously. So you're the scratchy scratchy.

Yeah, well no, I saw poop. And I go, oh, there's rat poop. And then Mike goes, it's lizard poop. I go, it's not lizard poop. Mike, get Mike. He was trying to tell us, don't be worried, it's lizard poop. No, Mike.

And I was like, that's rat poop. That's a ridiculous clown. And it turns out, you could hear him in the walls, and then this guy came to kill them, or you'll remove them. And he walked out, I did not live in this place though. He walked out with. Was this the blood place?

Handfuls of rats by the tail. What? Was this the blood place? That's what I'm guessing. I didn't see that but I did. Handfuls of rats by the tail. Yes, it was a very like nature place. That place was cool but not a nurture place.

No. The other thing that was funny, and maybe I told you this story. Hold on a second. This is Mike's account is handfuls of rats by the tail. There were at least, yeah, no, there were, there were. That this guy walked out with like a bouquet of rats. From under the house, there were so many.

No, no, I'm not kidding. Okay, but anyways, my dad was visiting once and this was years ago. And we went out to dinner and then he was like, I got to tell you something. I saw a big bug in your house. He was like, he was like this big. It was like inches, inches long. And I was like, why the fuck are you telling me? Like it was like not a cockroach, but something in that vein, like something just scary, okay?

And I was like, what are you talking about? Why are you telling us now? He goes, I saw this huge bug and I was like, what happened? He's like, I don't know where it went. I was like, I hate this story and I wish you never told it, horrible story, okay? Cut to an hour later, we're home, we're watching TV, we're sitting on the couch, having a great time.

Your dad turns into the bug. It was me. Out of the corner of my eye, crawling along the arm of the couch, right by my eye is the fucking bug. It's huge, huge. So then I start screaming, I'm like, la la la, like jump off the couch.

La la la, la la la. And my dad is so badass, he got up, he just grabbed it with his palm, like he just grabbed it in his fist, and then opened the door and threw it out the door. That's fucking hurt. I've heard it. And there were legs.

But he palmed it like a basketball. There were legs stuck on the couch. Couldn't do it. Like he just did it. Ew, I couldn't do it. He wanted to protect you. Yeah, he just went, get the fuck out of here. Would he have done that if you hadn't been there?

Or would he have gone? Yeah, he's very old world in that sense. Doesn't give a fuck. That's the thing, like our ancestors, they didn't do a shit about this. You'd think a bug's through the window. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so Rat.

Hold on a second. Oh my God. When you see in a movie, like a bug crawling on something. When you see a movie, take it. When you see a film, fake it. Find a bug, break it. Find a book, rate it. Like somebody has a tarantula crawling on them or something.

I don't know if I could do it if I was called upon to do that. Oh yeah. I really would not want to. Well these days they'll just. Like a rat I could deal with. These days they make them CGI, which is not effective. To scare the actor?

Well, no, yeah, no, to scare the audience. Like you can tell they're CGI? No, like in the Mummy. I know, I don't like that. You know how it was Indiana Jones inspired, but all the bugs the audience. Like you can tell they're CGI? No, like in The Mummy. I know, I don't like that. You know how it was, it was Indiana Jones inspired, but all the bugs were fake. The scarabs, yeah. Well, it's so obvious.

And they look super fake. It just doesn't do anything to my soul as the viewer. But when you watch Indiana Jones and there's a million spiders everywhere, you're like, ah, ah, this sucks. That's like crazy. Well, I just, I love practical effects. I do too.

Janie once went to, with her mom and stepdad, she went to this exhibition. It was some science exhibition or something and they had all these kinds of insects from all over the world or whatever. They did not know what was in this room. They walked in, the hair on Janie's arms stood up before she even saw anything.

What? Yes. She has like spider Spidersense herself. I guess. So she knew something bad was gonna be in the room? She just like, something was telling her, hey, don't be in here. I got that when I walked in here. Rat story.

So rat. All right. I see this rat. Well in conclusion, it's a Scott's rat story. Am I hallucinating this rat? Because it just wasn't there. Because Paul did that. Yeah, he's trying to copy me. So I'm like, am I hallucinating this rat? Cause it just wasn't there. Cause Paul did that. Yeah, he was trying to copy me.

So I was like, you know what? He was like, I'll tell you my story after you finish yours. And I copied the end. The best thing to do in this situation is ignore it and hope that it never happens again. Yeah, of course. And that's what you did? So I did that for, and then a few weeks later.

Oh, you don't think you should freak your wife out? That's what I did. A few weeks later, I come back home, there's a rat again. Of course. And it scampers away. I'm like, okay, we gotta figure out this problem. And I tell Cool Up and she's like, this is your deal. Exterminator.

And so I looked up solutions and I went to Home Depot or whatever. And the first thing I tried to do is the humane situation, which is like this glue trap, you know, where you put baits like peanut butter or cheese in the middle of this glue thing, and then they get stuck in it. And then their hands break off.

It's humane. They're still alive and in the morning you let them out or whatever. I think glue traps are bad. And you wag your finger at them like, huh, see? You think they're bad. I think it must have been something

where it just closed behind it or something. No, this is like an out, it's like, it's literally just like a plate with glue. Okay, well maybe it's fine. I don't know. So I put it out and I put the bait in there. You squeezed your elbows, yeah. And in the morning, go outside, the bait is gone,

there's little tiny feet marks in it. Got right through it. They got right through it, yeah, so we're like, okay. Glue's too humane. They're fucking survivors, man. Yeah. Yeah, so I go, all right. You got right through it, yeah. So we're like, okay. Glue's too humane. They're fucking survivors, man. Yeah. Yeah. So I go, all right. You gotta give it up to them.

You gotta. You gotta love those frets. Nature's greatest machine. Yes. So I said, all right, I'm just gonna do the regular trap and put it out there. And sure enough at 2 a.m., a shock conk! I hear it just go off and Cool Up's like,

is that the, and I went, yeah. And I got out there and it's just sitting there in the kitchen and I- Arms folded. Like you got- Care to explain. Axes for eyes. Dollar signs.

It's a lawsuit, yeah. I'm gonna sue you. So then I got- The rack goes up a court in a neck brace. Squatters' rights. I got rid of it and Cool Up gave me credit for all of that. She's like, you got the rat. But it's just so gross to think about a rat

being there for like a month. Every night coming out going, hey, what's in here? It's horrible, I can't handle that. But you also have to think like, hey dude, get the message, there's nothing here for you. Yeah. Except there is every day. Can't we make our homes-

What are they getting? They're getting everything they want. Can't we make our homes like impenetrable? I would love for that. From ants, from bugs, from, I know you open the doors occasionally in a bus full of flies. From ants to zebras, right?

Yes, from hard bugs to zebras. I mean, I've probably talked about my fly killer, of course. We don't have time, we gotta take a break. But we got a lot of flies. Bye. Bye. I'm Hasan Minhaj, and I have been lying to you. I only pretended to be a comedian so I could trick important people into coming on my podcast,

Hasan Minhaj Doesn't Know, to ask them the tough questions that real journalists are way too afraid to ask. People like Senator Elizabeth Warren. Is America too dumb for democracy? Outrageous. Parenting expert Dr. Becky, how do you skip consequences without raising a psychopath? It's a good question. Listen to Hasan Minhaj doesn't know from Lemonada Media, wherever you get your podcasts.

And we're back. What about the fly? You know, the tennis racket that electrocutes flies. get your podcasts. And we're back. What about the flies? You know the tennis racket that electrocutes flies? Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, we have one of those. It's honestly pretty fun, but it's pretty shocking. It's pretty on. Well, like flies, flies don't matter. You know, I don't feel bad about that.

The worst are, are what are, oh, mosquitoes. Mosquitoes are horrible. Let's get rid of all mosquitoes. And there are, by the way, so many fucking mosquitoes these days in LA. There used to, oh mosquitoes. Mosquitoes are horrible. Let's get rid of all mosquitoes. And there are by the way, so many fucking mosquitoes these days in LA. They used to never be mosquitoes. Yeah, really. When I moved here, there were not mosquitoes.

And I remember thinking that was like great. No, they came over here in lumber. That was shipped. Really? Yeah, from like China or something like that. Like in the last 10 years. China. No, yeah. Lumba from China. Like about eight years or so ago,

there was some mosquito-y batch of lumber that got chipped here And now we have mosquitoes here, but my friends was saying okay Well, you know what I've read about the solution of this is you need to get a bat house in your no Yeah, so he's like like where that Midler used to sing the bat house. Those are cat houses bath houses She's a singing or The bat house? Those are cat houses. Bath houses. Cat house. She's just singing whore houses. The best one.

The little one. That was, I mean, that was, I mean, Richard Pryor, he used to perform there. That's right. So it's like this little tiny envelope-y looking thing that you're supposed to put up in your, in the crevasse of your, of your house. And he sent me like all of this info about it. No bats like live in them and they sleep in them. So it's outside. So it's outside, right?

And then he sent me and then the places that sell them, they say like, bats can eat up to like 1,000 bugs an hour or something, right? And so- Pigs. You know what I don't want? Bats around me. Well, that's the thing. Okay.

So then I look up another site and it says, yeah, you could eat like five sandwiches an hour, but you don't, you get full. All of this research is dumb. They're not like sitting around there like a thousand bugs, 2000, 3000, bucks, 4000 bucks, they get full after like an hour. And so it's, it's like, now you just have bats and bugs around your house. I don't want that. I remember going to the Brookfield zoo in Chicago, which I've shields has a They get full after like an hour. And so it's like now you just have bats and bugs around your house. I don't want that.

I remember going to the Brookfield Zoo in Chicago, which I was- Brookfield has a zoo? Yeah. Well, we rarely went to that zoo because Lincoln Park Zoo is free. So we would go there all the time. Lincoln Park Zoo is free! But Brookfield Zoo costs money. So we went there on school field trips every once in a while.

And I remember they had this bat cave. You walked through it, it was dark, and there were bats flying overhead, if I remember specifically, if I remember correctly. But I remember this little factoid that may or may not be true. Give us a, I don't want it to be a fact. It's a factoid for sure.

Make sure it's a factoid before you say it. It's a toid. It's a toid. It's a toid. A toid. Toidy, toidy, toidy. It's a toyed. It's a toyed. It's a toyed. It's a toyed. A toyed. Toyed, toyed, toyed, toyed. It's a toyed. The factoid is that if you threw,

if you were walking under the bats in this like cave or whatever it was, you, if you threw your keys up in the air, they would catch them. Wow. And did anyone do it? Well, I don't think they encouraged it, but I don't know what,

I don't know if that's true. What if you got like, and I don't know if that's true. What if you got like, you went to a locksmith and you got a second set of keys just to test this out? Yeah, what if? Watch through the watcher! I don't know. Okay, well it's time for a three-turn. Maybe someone out there can tell me if it's true. I'll never be able to figure it out. There's gotta be a video of it if it's true.

Send us the video of the guy running to third. Please. And send us a video of a bat catching a ring of keys while Funhaus's ring of keys plays underneath. And the bat's going, and your ring, ah. See, I like bats a lot, because I think they've, they're so,

some of them are creative. Oh, I think they're really cool. I just don't wanna see them in my general eye line. I do. Really? That's the thing. Yeah. Did you go to Austin and see all the bats fly over the river?

I've never seen it any time I've been. What's wrong with you and why do you avoid the thing you love? I went to Carl's back caverns. Okay. The day I saw Jaws 3B. I went to Carl's junior caverns. Wow. Which it was a little of a hamburger. Okay went to Carl's Jr. caverns. Wow, what's your... It was full of hamburgers.

Okay, guys, it's time for a three-chur. Do you remember the three-chur that we played called Celebrity Hunt? Yeah, I like that one. Do you remember how to play it? It's like you think of... You think of a... Someone says a celebrity and we go,

Hunt, and then you have to come up with a celebrity who has the same... Their name begins with the last letter of the previous name. And it goes until we can't their name begins with the last letter of the previous name and it goes until we can't remember. Right, the last letter, that's what it is. Yes, uh-huh. Yeah, it's called Celebrity Hunt.

Like I said. Yeah, and we. And we play it. And we play it and. And you like it. You like it and you listen to it and you ask for more, like little slaves. Did you just look it up? Yeah. Okay, and that is how we play it? That is how we like it. You like it and you listen to it and you ask for more like little slaves. Did you just look it up?

Yeah. Okay, and that is how we play? That is how we play. So somebody says a celebrity, the next person has to say- We go hunt. We go hunt, of course we go hunt. Yeah.

We go hunt. And the next person has to say another celebrity whose name begins with the last letter of the previous celebrity. Yeah. Oh, okay. Is it in a rhythm? No, it's not, because we just, not all names are in rhythm.

Like we don't clap or anything. You wanna keep it going though. You can't just stick around and like. You can't stick around. You gotta get to it as fast as you possibly can. Yes. Okay, great. So yeah, you keep a steady rhythm if you can.

Let's go clockwise. If you can't, you're fucking out. Okay, let's do it. Go clockwise, all right? Well, here we go. Paul doesn't understand the clock. I'll start. I always you're fucking out. Okay, let's do it. Let's go clockwise, all right? Well, here we go. Paul doesn't understand the clock. I'll start. I always get.

Famously. Oh, that's right. It goes Scott, Paul, Lauren. Scott, Paul, Lauren. Do the, it's like turning up the volume. Scott's midnight, you're six or whatever the fuck. Yeah, I'm on your six. Yeah. Yeah, and you're? Not many. I'm about seven, eight, yeah.

Yeah, seven, eight. On wiki feet, a 10. Oh, never, never, eight. Okay. Wiggy feet a 10. Oh, never, never lower. Never lower. My wiggy feet rating has gone down so. Ever since you got that boot.

Ever since I got the boot on, yeah. But I still have the boot on. It's so not sexy. It's probably off by this time in my life. When does it get off? Tomorrow. Oh, that's good. When does it get off?

Honey, I haven't been asked that question in years. Okay Samantha. All right, here we go. Ready does it get off? I haven't been asked that question in years. Okay, Samantha. All right, here we go. Ready? I'll start. Samantha Who? Samantha Who! Classic show.

Hunt, we start with Hunt. Doctor Who's first name is Samantha, is it not? One, two, three. Hunt. Antonio Banderas. Hunt. Susan Sarandon. Hunt.

Natalie Portman. Hunt. Natalie Earthman. Hunt! Natalie Earthman. You're out. Wow. Natalie Earthman. Earthman.

Okay, we're in. Hunt! Wait, what? Okay, shall I start with? Do the N maybe. Okay. Hunt! Hunt!

Natalie Imbrulia. Hunt! Angelina Jolie. Hunt! Ed Norton. Hunt! Natalie Imbrulia. Hunt! Angelina Jolie. Hunt! Ed Norton. Hunt! Nick Nolte. Hunt!

Edward Scissorhands. Hunt! You're in still? Yeah, why not? He's a celebrity. No, it's real people, it's real people. Okay, so now it's just me going as long as I can. Okay.

No? Sure. I think that's how the game should go. We'll go to another round. All right, here we go, ready? I think that's how the game should go. It's a way to challenge people. So you start with E.

Okay. Ready, and. This is gonna be out fast. Hunt. Ellen DeGeneres. Hunt. Smith Will. I didn't realize we could comment these things.

I didn't think it would end that quickly. See? Okay, let's do it again. And now I'm gonna start. You're gonna start, all right. I'm bad at this, I can't think of any names. You don't have to think about them. We go clockwise, which means next Scott and then me.

Yeah. Hunt. Hunt. Hugh Grant. Hunt. Hunt. Tim Burton. Hunt. Hunt. Natalie Portman. Hunt. Hunt.

Nicholas Cage. Hunt. Hunt. Edward Albee. Hunt. Hunt. Natalie Portman. Hunt. Nicholas Cage. Hunt. Edward Albee. Hunt. Hunt. Alan Alda. Hunt. No.

Albee. Albee. Albee. Your playwright. Your writer. Did I tell you I met him? Yeah. Did he say it's tinnitus?

He worked with our English class when I was 14. It's tinnitus, dear boy. My dear boy, it's tinnitus. All right. It's tinnitus. So it's the E goes to you. E? Yeah.

Ready? And hunt! Eric Stoltz. Hunt! Zoolander! Ha ha ha! Ooh, Eric Stoltz. Hunt! Zoolander. Hunt. Alice Walker. Hunt. Rebecca Romaine Stamos.

Hunt. Yeah, it's Romaine now. Romaine, okay. Hunt. Nate Berkus. Hunt. Sean Connery. Hunt.

Yolanda Hadid. Hunt. Hunt. Yolanda Hadid. Hunt. Is it Yolanda Hadid? Yeah. Yeah, that's from Real Housewives. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you got it. Diane, or Dina Lohan. Hunt.

What? Hunt. Nathan Fielder. Hunt. Richard Wright. Hunt. Tito Jackson. Hunt.

Who? Tito Jackson. Tito, Tito, I thought you said Tio. My Tio Jackson. Oh, my Tio. Tio. Hunt. my Tio. Tio. Hunt. Nia Long.

Hunt. Greg, Gregory Peck. Hunt. Come on. All right, let's just start over. All right, Paul Hugo. Oh my God. Hunt.

Jeffrey Wright. Hunt. Tia. Tia Carrera hunts and to the knee oh it oh okay uh Eric person someone I used to know not a celebrity. HUNTS! Use a real guy. You have to go off E.

HUNTS! Herrick Stone Street. HUNTS! Um... Ditto. Krisha Yearwood. HUNTS! Donald Duck. HUNTS! No, that doesn't count. If I put scissors in, it doesn't count.

All right, Lauren has to go. Oh my God, what was the last one? Using the D. D? And Hunt! Donald Trump! Hunt! Penelope Cruz!

Hunt! Zendaya! No, Hunt, yeah, it's a new game. Come on! There's not a lot of Z's. It's a new game, Hunt. Alice Cooper! Hunt!

Randy Newman! Hunt! I love it when you say it like that. I love it when you say it like that. I love it when you say it like that. I love it when you say it like that. I love it when you say it like that. I love it when you say it like that. It's a new game, it's a new game. It's not a lot of C's. New game, Hunt. Alice Cooper. Hunt. Randy Newman. Hunt. I love it.

Why would it end? Nathan. You're out. Fillion. That's why I was picturing it because of his name. The Rookie. The Rookie himself? Castle, Castle, Castle.

I was just at Comic Con so much, the rookie cosplay, I couldn't believe it. Yeah? Rookie cosplay? Really, how do you know? I think it would be brown coats. They were just cops. Lauren, what do you think about

the recent Dave Coulier comments? Is there something? Regarding Alanis Morissette? Oh yeah, we gotta check in with you. What did he say? He said that he remembers when he first heard that song on the radio and he was like, Hey, this is a good groove.

This is cool. And then he was like, good singer too. And then what do you think Popeye? And then, and then he was like, Oh, well Chuck. Then he like heard some of the lyrics and was like, wait a minute, is this about me? And then looked it up and saw it was Alanis Morissette, went out, immediately bought the record

and then listened to the whole thing and realized that the lyrics were all about him. And he said, I think I've really hurt this person. Oh my God, that's actually so sad. But he kept silent about it for all this time? For now 30 years. Did he ever say anything to her about that? I think so, I think he contacted,

I think part of the story is he contacted her and she was like, no prob. I think she'd be like, I don't give a shit, I just got $12 trillion for this music that everyone loves forever. Did it go to number one? I'm sure it did. That's the best revenge.

Yeah. A number one is always the best revenge. There's nothing like going to number one after you break up with someone. Where did she go down on him in the middle of again? Dinner? A theater. A theater. Oh, dinner.

I saw that when I was- She had her mouth full of mashed potatoes. When I was working at Olive Garden- You talked about this, I feel like I'm in Dishawu. When I was in Olive Garden, there was a couple who was- I can't keep it straight. I think I literally said she had mashed potatoes. That I don't remember.

Or hot dogs. She was blowing him during dinner. What dinner? Let's go to a restaurant. Or hot dogs. She was blowing him during dinner. What dinner? It's gonna be a restaurant and order hot dogs. I mean, I have three. No, it's movie theater hot dogs. Do you have hot dogs? The hottest of dogs.

Can you not smush that meat into one log? Do you have a frankfurters here? So I'm working at Olive Garden and- Right now, I'm sorry. Some women started blowing the guy during dinner. I would think you'd be interested in this. Blowing a guy during dinner. Because you're a creep.

I love this. So someone said, I'll have the never ending salad and the never ending breadsticks. Never ending. And the never ending breadstick under the table as I'm blowing. And we were all like walking by going, and cause one of the, the waiter who was in charge

of that section, it was a room that didn't have a ton of people in it. And it's not, at Olive Garden, there aren't tablecloths. Right, because you're family. So the guy's like, this girl's blowing this guy under the table. And we would all, we all kind of walked by and she was like kind of laughing

and she was under the table. It is funny. It's pretty funny. That's disgusting. Wait, there aren't, there aren't tablecloths at Olive Garden? I don't. I of laughing and she was under the table. It is funny. It's pretty funny. That's disgusting. Wait, there aren't tablecloths at Olive Garden? I don't. I think you could probably still see before. Maybe there, maybe, I guess maybe there were,

but maybe they're short. I don't think there are. Maybe they were white. I don't think there are. Yeah, they were. You're gonna tell me. No, no, no. I feel like they were just tables.

They're doing an Italian style dinner. I'm picturing my most recent Olive Garden excursion. Two hours ago. I'm like diarrhea in most recent Olive Garden excursion. Two hours ago. I'm like diarrhea in the bathroom. Before eating. Yeah, just to clear a room. I have a $50 gift card to Olive Garden from Winning. Yes, we know.

Aren't you gonna take us? It's not gonna get you all enough food. I'm just taking my family. No, you'll pay the difference. I'll just eat the never ending thing. Is it called, did they call it never ending? It's all you can eat. Everlasting breadsticks.

Hospitaliano. All right, goodbye. Hey mumbo, hospitalitaliano. Okay, look, we got some business to take care of. Yes, FreedomUSA at Gmail, if you wanna write to us. FreedomUSA on Twitter and Instagram. If you don't wanna to write to us. Our phone number, haha la impu.

Yeah. If you want to call us. If you want to just listen to us, hey, we like that too. You're doing it the way you're doing it now. Or if you want to listen ad free, if you're not already, go to Stitcher Premium or cbbworld.com. And also, you know, there's gotta be some croc charms or something.

There's gotta be some croc charms after. I just had one sent to me. For some reason, they sent me literally one and it's just the ignored one. That's supposed to be an insult. Who sent that to you? Stitcher, I have no idea. They just sent you one ignored.

No request was made. Nope. I mean, I requested them back in December. Well, I was going to say, did you ever get the ignored? Maybe it was on backorder or something. That's the only thing I can think of. Did you ask for more money for the show and then that's what they sent in reply? Yeah.

Ignored. All right, goodbye. Goodbye.