Threedom - Threevisiting: Honey, I Shrunk ME?!

Episode Date: February 17, 2026

Threevisiting on the Tues: Lauren, Paul and Scott discuss the Grinch, do a taste test, and play ThreeH1 Storytellers.  Send Threetures and emails to threedomusa@gmail.com.Leave us a voicemai...l asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Unlock every episode of THREEDOM and THREEMIUM, ad-free, on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Mint Mobile. Every group has someone who assists on doing things the hard way. I hope that's not me. That friend who's still paying for a subscription they forgot they had. Could be me. That one refusing to update the phone because it still works. Okay, not me. A little colder.
Starting point is 00:00:20 I used to be that person, too. Oh, it turns out it's not me. Especially when it came to overpaying for wireless. Then I switched to Mint Mobile. I'm so glad I did. Stop paying way too much for wireless just because that's how it's always been. Mint exists purely to fix that. Same coverage, same speed, just without the inflated price tag.
Starting point is 00:00:39 It's the premium wireless you expect unlimited talk, text, and data, but at a fraction of what others charge. And for a limited time, get 50% off three, six, or 12 months, 12 months is a year. 12 month plans of a limited premium wireless. Bring your own phone a number, activate with an e-sim in minutes, and start saving immediately. No long-term contracts, no hassle. with a seven-day money-back guarantee and customer satisfaction ratings in the mid-90s. It's pretty high, gang.
Starting point is 00:01:09 Mint makes it easy to try it and see why people don't go back to their old carrier. My experience with Mint Mobile has been great so far. I'm constantly on the road for work. God damn, that's true. And I've found that no matter where I am across the country, I'm still able to connect with friends and family. The service from Mint has been just as good as any of the big three networks.
Starting point is 00:01:28 Plus, same with a ton of my wireless bill. That's more money in my wallet for room service and extra dessert because I know how to treat myself on the road. Ready to stop paying more than you have to. New customers can make the switch today and for a limited time get a limited premium wireless for just $15 per month. Switch now at mintmobile.com slash freedom. That's mintmobile.com. No, not dot clom. Please don't go to a dot clom.
Starting point is 00:01:57 Unless you wouldn't be on the clam internet. That's mintmobile.com slash freedom. Up front payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, or $180 for 12-month plan required, equivalent to $15 a month, taxes and fees extra, initial plan term only. Over 50% gigabytes may slow when network is busy. Capable device required. Availability, speed, and coverage varies. Additional items apply.
Starting point is 00:02:20 See mintmobile.com. It's morning in New York. Hey, everybody. Patinkin. And I'm Catherine Grotie. And we have a new podcast. It's called Don't Listen to Us. Many of you've asked for our advice. Tell me, what is wrong with you people? Don't listen to us. Our Take It or Leave a advice show every Wednesday out now. A Lemonada Media Original. Freedom of the show and that's how it goes. Freedom is a name. Did you guys notice that I snuck one in before it happened? I did a little, but I didn't.
Starting point is 00:03:16 at the same time. See, I got you. I got to re-listen. I snuck it at the very last one. Let me rewind. Okay. Freedom. Now hold on.
Starting point is 00:03:34 I heard it that time. That was before the second one. I thought you said it was at the very end. Listen again. No, no, no. Okay. Freedom. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:41 There it was. Yeah. It comes so much sooner than you think. Yeah. Wow. Interesting. Much like, but you know. The grim specter of death.
Starting point is 00:03:49 Oh. I thought you were going to say the Grinch. And then I was like, The Grinch comes sooner than... The Grinch comes earlier and earlier every year. He's kind of like trying to get those trees because we're putting them up earlier. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:04:00 He's called him the Halloween Grinch. We're kind of saying it's tree time at Thanksgiving. He was in our village November 1st. What? And like tapping his foot and it's like, dude, we're not that kind of neighborhood. One thing they don't say about the Grinch is how much he loves other holidays. Oh my God, he loves them. Oh, and he's very nice about them.
Starting point is 00:04:17 Like he loves Valentine's St. Patrick. He's where the party is. He hosts everybody. Yeah. Easter he does hide rotten eggs, which is just a little funny. It's like, I'm still me, guys. I know, I love that.
Starting point is 00:04:29 But he's just so fun about it. And he wears the ears. But his Fourth of July parties are great. He's very patriotic. I love, well, he loves America. Yeah, he dyes himself, red, white, and blue. How can you die? You're green.
Starting point is 00:04:41 How do you die yourself? Well, it's like dying your hair. Yeah. Because green is a combination of. You should just ask him. You should ask him. Or he's stylist. Let me call him.
Starting point is 00:04:50 Okay. Okay, call now. Hello. Hi, is this the Gridge? Yeah, look, I'm in the process of getting ready to steal Christmas. Oh, it's May. It's May. People put on the decorations earlier and earlier.
Starting point is 00:05:03 Anyway, what can I do you for? How do you, okay, so you're green. I hear you dye yourself red, white, and blue. Oh, you know I do. I'm standing up and saluting right now. You're standing up and salooning or saluting? Both. So you're in a saloon, but you're standing up and saluting.
Starting point is 00:05:18 Look, I'm drunk. Oh. I have a drinking problem. It's only 10 in the morning. Where you are. Wait, you're up in the North Pole? No. Oh, you're in Whoville?
Starting point is 00:05:28 No, I'm in Hawaii, so it's 7 a.m. Oh, Jesus. Can I talk to him? Yeah, here. Is that more? Let me give you the phone. Grantee. Lauren.
Starting point is 00:05:38 Okay, so I was thinking it's getting really close to 4th of July. I do. Where are you planning to have your party this year? Because I kind of got to plan if I'm going to fly or not. Well, my place is a fucking mess. I know, because the renovations and everything. The renovation, they're tearing up all the sod in the backyard, so I can't do it there. So I thought, why don't we just all meet up at a park?
Starting point is 00:05:58 Okay. What's he saying? Oh, sorry. He said for Fourth of July that we... Okay. Here on speaker. Hey, what were you saying to Laura? Yeah, I was saying this is your Fourth of July is going to be at a park.
Starting point is 00:06:11 No, I was going to kind of argue against that. Just pushed back a little bit because I feel like... You just heard about the idea. Yeah, I know. And then this is my response. Okay. I feel that... there's going to be a lot of people doing that at parks.
Starting point is 00:06:22 We're not going to have our own space. What I like is the freedom we have around you to be our true selves. And I feel like maybe you should rent like an Airbnb. Okay. I was thinking a skate park. Oh. I've been practicing my alleys. Me too.
Starting point is 00:06:35 And my kick flips. Yeah. And then we can put hot dogs at the top of the ramp and roll them down to the bud. Okay. That's fun. I thought the hot dogs were like a lure to get us to actually do the tricks. So we could grab the hot dogs on our way down. No, you're on the auto system for tricks.
Starting point is 00:06:48 Okay. So we're going to roll them down the hill. into the buns. Yeah. Into the bun. The buns are waiting on their side. So I guess we clean the whole thing before or at least before. Oh, after.
Starting point is 00:06:57 That's actually a good idea. Well, probably before and after. Okay. Also, there's going to be a bunch of oily seabirds. So bring a bunch of dawd dishwashing liquid. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:07:07 That is the one that cuts through the grease the best. Yeah. Takes grease out of your way. Okay. So we'll do that. All right. So which skate part? Like what state?
Starting point is 00:07:16 It's going to be in Colorado. Wow. And you want us to, we're going to be. singing proud to be American, proud to be an American. Excuse me, proud to be an American. That's right by Lee Greenwood. So yeah, we're doing that as like a sort of performance.
Starting point is 00:07:28 Are we live streaming that? Oh. Can we sing I hope you dance as well? Can we add that? Yeah, that's a good one. Can we sing to you, I hope you dance and then you do a little dance? Yeah. And you know what?
Starting point is 00:07:40 We're also going to sing Dominic the Christmas donkey. Well, that's random. I know. I just guess I'm thinking about Christmas. Oh, good. But how much you hate it though? Why would you? Why do you want us to sing a song about it?
Starting point is 00:07:49 People don't understand. I'm misunderstood. I don't hate Christmas. I love it. That's why I steal it every year. It's like he's so excited. He's mad. I only want Christmas for me.
Starting point is 00:07:59 Oh, hey. Turn on you not to stir. Who texted you? Tell us what they said. Someone from high school. Really? Someone from high school texts. What did they say?
Starting point is 00:08:07 Something about, yeah, I don't know. Getting together. Okay. Something about getting together. Well, he's got a whole secret life. Yeah. I'm still friends with everybody I knew at high school. Who did you know?
Starting point is 00:08:19 Are there is grinch a species or your name? Both. So like Yoda? Yeah. Yoda's a species and a name. Scott, I just feel like we should keep doing the show. Like I don't mean to cut him off.
Starting point is 00:08:31 All right. Yeah, I got a joke for anything. We're in the middle of freedom. Like we're in the middle of that for Paul. Oh yeah. We're here with Paul. Paul has diarrhea. He's not here.
Starting point is 00:08:40 Yeah. He's not here now. I don't think that's what happened to him. If I know Paul, he's probably doing something cool. He has the most solid poops of anyone you know, right? Yes. Well, hey Gridge, it's been a great time talking to you. It's been great.
Starting point is 00:08:56 Oh, did you get my package? I did. Thank you so much. I sent him like a bunch of candy. Oh, Christmas candy? All candy from like California. In Colorado, he like can't, he always says he can't get certain ones. But I think that it's actually just a ploy to get me to send him stuff or whatever.
Starting point is 00:09:10 I missed it so much. It's like Reese's peanut butter cups and snickers and so I think you can get it there. Yeah. I don't know. You miss California. Because of the candy? I miss California candy. And Lauren will send me a car package.
Starting point is 00:09:23 I do send them a lot, but I always kind of think it's bullshit. But I do send it, you know, it's fine. That's so good. I've put so many times at the top. I've never sent you anything. And I put a palm frond. You're not one of these people who requires gifts in order to be your friend. Not at all.
Starting point is 00:09:38 Not at all. You don't send me anything. I mean, a big part of that is I'm just going to steal it at Christmas time. Right. But I do think your love language is gifts. It is both accepting them and stealing them. Yeah. So getting them two ways.
Starting point is 00:09:51 Oh, Paul's coming out of the bathroom. Hey, Paul, is your, how's your poop? Is it solid? Hey, I got to go. Oh, okay. All right, bye. Hey, Paul, you're back. Well, I love for all goat heels.
Starting point is 00:10:04 Sorry, I put on my goat shoes. Are you in some sort of like satyr costume for a play? You mean you're Sater? Sater? But you're afraid to be anti-Semitic? Wow. Hey, we were just talking to the Grinch for a really long time. Oh, I'm going to say it was really long.
Starting point is 00:10:23 You don't be rude. I mean, dude does not know when to leave the phone call. He keeps asking me questions about my bowels. I mean, it was rude to Paul because that just means he was gone a long time, is what I'm saying. Oh, I see. It wasn't that long. You were gone in a totally reasonable. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:10:35 I'm normal. Everything about me is normal. Okay. Okay. Good. You're the most normal person I know. Thank you. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:10:44 Great. You're very average. Yeah, that's the only thing of myself. Can I tell you guys something? Yeah, yeah. Tell us anything. So on Friday, Mike set up a fun date for us. We went to the LA Phil and saw Psycho with the live.
Starting point is 00:11:00 Oh, really? Wow. And it was so fun and I've never seen Psycho. Hey, we're going to need some extra violins tonight. Yeah. They really were working overtime. But we were like in the second row, so we were very close to the orchestra. And it was really fun to get to watch them up close and kind of try to eat.
Starting point is 00:11:15 I feel like you can't hear the orchestra well enough sometimes in those. I've never been there. Oh, okay, great. But it was great. This was at Walter Disney Concert Hall. Yeah. Oh, that's fun.
Starting point is 00:11:27 Yeah. The acoustics are really good. I guess when you go to the bowl and they have like the bow will, yeah. Like the orchestra playing with the ELO. ELO is so loud and the orchestra is just basically like a really low keyboard. And I'm like, no, I want that thing pumped up. I feel like the orchestra in those instances is protesting because they're like, This isn't our kind of music.
Starting point is 00:11:46 Yeah, I think so. So they're making a big show of their miming their instruments. Yeah, they're miming and then they're pointing at the electric guitars and doing thumbs down. That's right. Yeah, I think the only other one of those I've seen is for that documentary Jane about,
Starting point is 00:11:59 or Jane Goodall. Hmm. They had an orchestra playing along with that. It was like an event for it. But an orchestra of gorillas. It was like, it was like the premiere of that documentary or something, and she was there and then they had an orchestra playing. Wow.
Starting point is 00:12:14 But it was because it's just random music, it's less impactful to me than to have. So they did the entire score or they just played a few songs? I think they did the whole thing. Do you know what it would be fun is to see like an episode of reality TV with a full orchestra? Yeah, I would love it. What I guess do bloop bloop bloop and doing that. Honestly, that would be really good. Like the percussion instruments when someone has a question.
Starting point is 00:12:41 Anyway, Psycho is a good movie in case everyone didn't know. Did you like that whole monologue at the end? Yes. I love. It's out of nowhere. Yeah. I love. We have to explain this because it's the 60s.
Starting point is 00:12:53 Yeah, they explain why the guy. If you haven't seen Psycho. Yeah, I wouldn't even tell you actually because I don't want to give it away. Although I guess I kind of already knew all the spoilers just from living in the world. But you'd never seen it before. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:05 God, we should. It's like soil and green. It was so good. Yeah. I was like, this is such a good. For Lauren hasn't seen Mo. I know. I have a little,
Starting point is 00:13:12 I have a little Hollywood story. about Psycho. Oh, wow. When the, so Hitchcock had. The Portly director himself. By the way, this was, this was an first thing. No, this was an answer on the People magazine.
Starting point is 00:13:28 Oh, really? They were like, what Portly director? We were like, shots fired people. If you don't know what I'm talking about on my Instagram last week, I was saying in it. It cost a big hub of. At an Airbnb. People were flipping out.
Starting point is 00:13:41 At an Airbnb and they had a People magazine board game, we opened and it had been unopened and it came out in 1984 and it was trivial pursuit of all like entertainment questions that were very important to people in 1984 that we had no idea what the answers were it's so funny it's such a dumb idea to make such a specific game like it's right i think they thought trivial pursuit was like so big we got to get in on this you know absolutely but they they mentioned they're like what portly director we were like what the fuck is people magazine why is that the first thing they talk about. How about what famous director? Yeah, really? Anyway, so that's why I mentioned.
Starting point is 00:14:16 So he is, he's, uh, he wants to have a, he's going over, uh, stuff for sound effects. Um, for the, different movie. Different movie. Oh, wait, the Portley director was doing this. Yeah. Okay. And so he had a bunch of, uh, he was with the Foley people, he had a bunch of melons. This is for the stabbing sound. Whoa. So he's a bunch of melons, all different kinds of melons. And, you know, the person. has a knife and they're just jabbing it into different
Starting point is 00:14:45 melons and after they go down the row of nine different melons Hitchcock takes a moment and then goes Kasaba Who's that mean? Casabba melon. Did you think it was a magic spell?
Starting point is 00:15:06 Casabba, cassaba, cassaba, cassava! Squish. Squish. What is the squish thing? I don't know, but I really, I liked that you don't see the people being stabbed. Like, they didn't even try to do that.
Starting point is 00:15:21 Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was great. I always think that's a, that's a really cool thing when a director can make it so that you see a thing in your mind that was not. Yeah. Although in Scream 5, I did like when the knife went right into the person's face and stuck out the other hand. That was insane. But wait, I also have to say, I never understood that Norman Bates was like a cutie pie nice. guy.
Starting point is 00:15:43 Oh, is that what they're sort of making him out to be? Well, I think the whole way through you, he's just like, he, then he gets weirder as it goes on. But I'm like, I didn't know. I, I've never known anything about this movie. So I thought when I hear that name, I think it's like creepy, you know. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:58 Because in the shot for shot remake that Gus Van Zant did with Vince Vaughn as Norman Bates. Which I inexplicably saw in the theater. Yeah. I don't remember this. But they, the, the additions are very weird because like the, the, the, the, one of the only additions that they do, it's shot for shot, but one of the only additive things they do
Starting point is 00:16:16 is Norman Bates in the first scene, I think, jerking off to a hole in the wall. Yeah. He's like spying on somebody in jerking off. Yeah. But I, that is an interesting addition.
Starting point is 00:16:28 I don't think I'd seen the original a long time, and I do have to say, when I saw that shot for shot remake, I was like, wow, this, I mean, it is very powerful. You really did it. Now that I'm a big psycho head.
Starting point is 00:16:37 Yeah. Psycho, psycho. You know there's many sequels to Psycho. I don't know that. They're not bad either. I've never seen any. Yeah, I think they're not bad. Did they do three?
Starting point is 00:16:47 They did Psycho 2 and 3. I don't know about 4. Psycho 4 The Voyage Home? That's a Star Trek. Uh-huh. By the, okay, so we're talking about places we went to. I wanted to bring this up. I went, I went to Portland.
Starting point is 00:17:02 That's a place. He's not wrong so far. Okay. And I did the show LiveWire, which they talked about you a lot. They said you're really great on it. And they played. I love doing that show. The band played the show.
Starting point is 00:17:12 The Threatom song when I walked out. Wow! That's awesome. Hey, that's cute. And I did not recognize it. Okay. But. Oh, because the live band was playing it.
Starting point is 00:17:21 Yes, live band. And they were very nice. I met them afterwards. And I said, did you notice it was the freedom song? And I was like, you know, I was so nervous. I couldn't even hear. Over the chattering of my teeth. But on the way back, I get on the plane and I have the window seat.
Starting point is 00:17:40 Nice. Yeah. That's all I wanted to say. Oh my God, it's amazing. I'm so happy for you. So I have the window seat and I get to my... You can lean your big dome piece against that wall of the plane. That's why you...
Starting point is 00:17:51 Big don't against the wall. I wasn't going to say that, sweetie. In no world was I going to say that? So I get to my row and there's just the guy in the middle seat who is already boarded. And I give them the customary, polite, like, hi, I'm, you know, in the window seat. Oh, I, what I do is when I see those people in the middle seat, and I give them, seat, I go up to them and I'm like, I'm like put my bag over the thing and then I'm getting ready. And then right as I'm sitting down, I look over at him and I go, like sucks to be you.
Starting point is 00:18:25 Yeah. Yeah. That's a good technique. Choose your seat earlier, stupid. Yeah. So this guy, this guy, I point to the window seat and I go, hi, I'm there. And he goes, oh, did you want me to scoot down so you can slide in. Why would anyone want that? I'm just like the fucking bulls on this guy. Oh, I love it. What a hilarious attempt. That's so good.
Starting point is 00:18:52 That's so crazy. Oh, would you like this horrible scene? Is that what you're trying to get? Oh, wow. The only thing better is if he just did it. Did it? I was like, oh, it's so sorry. Let me move to this one.
Starting point is 00:19:05 It was so funny. I just laughed. I went, uh, that's my seat. And he goes, oh, okay. And he gets out of the road. I couldn't believe it. Wow. It was great.
Starting point is 00:19:14 That's amazing. That's amazing. That's amazing. Amazing stuff. That is amazing. So the other travel thing that happened was we went to. You didn't tell us there was going to be two? There's two travel things.
Starting point is 00:19:25 All right. Well, I'm not really ready. This is not a travel tip. All I knew was you were going to go to a place. That's how this started. You really took advantage of that setup. So you just wanted me to say what the place I went to? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:37 That's what I was prepared. for. So we went to Ohio this weekend. First. That's a second place. Oh my God. Worse yet. So you're just all over the fucking...
Starting point is 00:19:47 I land from this experience with this middle seat guy. I have to go to Ohio 45 minutes later. Wow. So that's how quickly. Yeah. Wow. Fast turnaround. That's a real fast turnaround for going from one place to the next place.
Starting point is 00:19:59 Yeah. So it's the first time that we've traveled with Emmy. Who is that again? She was that little thing in the swing. Yeah. are on your way in. Yeah. Yeah, because I remember thinking,
Starting point is 00:20:11 I'm glad that swing is getting some use. Well, I thought Kulap got really little. A mixture of Kulap and me got really little. We both got really little combined ourselves. Honey, I shrunk me. Honey, I shrunk me? Well, honey, I shrunk myself. Suck it to me.
Starting point is 00:20:26 Is it one of those? I think so. I know, honey, I shrunk the kids. Honey, I blew up the kids. It's honey. We shrunk ourselves. Yeah, it is. You're right.
Starting point is 00:20:35 Scott hasn't seen any of those. Oh, you haven't seen any of those. Yeah, you got to do. whole month of those. No, but I do like the first one. Okay, we'll do it. I'm not available. Just three episodes back, you were saying you had nothing but time.
Starting point is 00:20:49 That's not what I said. I said you're looking for stuff to do. That can't be true. You did. I must have been being facetious. The last time I was at Universal Studios, they had the Honey I Shrunk the Kids ride. Yeah. And that was a while ago then.
Starting point is 00:21:04 Yes. I went to that when I was a, no, it was at, I went to that at Disney World. But they had Universal Studios. I thought it was, I thought it was Disneyland. Maybe it is. Yeah, it was Disney. It took the place of Captain Eo. Okay.
Starting point is 00:21:15 I did it at Disney World when I was little. It was the only time I ever went to a Disney place. And we were running around the raindrops going bloop, bloop. And then the big Kodak films. Yeah. And then it sprays you and stuff like that. Here's what I remember is that it was 3D. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:28 And first I was startled by, they say something is running around. There's like rats or something like that. Oh, yeah. Shoot out air. your ankles and everything. And that startled me. I was like, ah, that was a good one. And then at some point, a snake is coming out of the screen.
Starting point is 00:21:45 Right. And I actually like leaned back. I love it. It really got me. You're probably in commercial. That's why they're promoting it and like their whole audience. Whoa. Fat Joe.
Starting point is 00:22:00 When you see a snake coming out of the screen, lean back. Portly Joe. Oh, that's right. That's what he prefers. Anyway, so we were up in Ohio. What's just something? I've only been there for a day, like the day. I drove up and down.
Starting point is 00:22:14 So I don't, I haven't really got to explore it, but it seems nice. It's very nice up there, but it was the first time we'd ever traveled. So a lot of firsts, a lot of setup, you know, figuring out a lot of stuff. But, and then it wasn't the first time we've been to a restaurant. No, I know, I know. Okay. Because Koolap and I had a date at a restaurant. on early on.
Starting point is 00:22:37 Yeah, yeah. Okay. But what'd you eat, liar. You know our first day was at sushi and tap, right? No. I don't memorize these things. I don't memorize anything that's been saw on the show.
Starting point is 00:22:53 That's true. Sometimes that we got, we get mind wiped after every episode. Yeah. I like that we're in a hole. It's split between people saying, they tell the same stories every episode and other people saying, I do listen to the episodes multiple times.
Starting point is 00:23:08 Right. Right. So it's like, so maybe we sound like we're telling it a lot. Yeah. Okay. But sushi and tap. If you... Or don't memorize the episodes. So it's sushi and it's beer.
Starting point is 00:23:17 That's what you would think. No, it's sushi and tap dancing waiters. No, it's not. Yes. Are you fucking kidding me? That was our first date. We've never talked about this. It was in the valley.
Starting point is 00:23:27 It's now rocking, rock and sushi. It did not last long. Oh, that makes sense. Yeah. Sushi Dan, rock and sushi. That's so 90s. It was. It was 99.
Starting point is 00:23:37 Yeah. Isn't it 90s to have. tap dancing as part of a gimmick of a restaurant. Yeah. I've talked about it before, but I remember going to twins, the restaurant in New York where all the waiters were twins. And I'm like, that's the 90s thing you could do. I don't know why. We've talked about how they cover their shift.
Starting point is 00:23:52 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you remember Mars 2112? No. That was a restaurant in New York that was just science fiction themed. Oh, cool. With no, but like not tied to a specific franchise or anything. It was just like, you know, like, uh, space. Were there aliens?
Starting point is 00:24:09 Yes, there were aliens. Not ETs. There was a restaurant in Chicago that I'm remembering and I went to as a kid where you, I think you wear your pajamas and you got, it was like all cereal. It was like a cereal restaurant. Oh, yeah, I've heard about this place.
Starting point is 00:24:22 No. You're thinking of your kitchen. I mean, I was in my pajamas and my doll was in her pajamas and there's a good picture. By the way. I would like to see that picture. What is it?
Starting point is 00:24:32 E.T.'s extraterrestrial? Extra terrestrial. Shouldn't it be other terrestrial? No, he's so extra. OTs? Because he's terrestrial, but he just takes it to the limit. He's so extra. He's so extra.
Starting point is 00:24:43 A lot. I remember hanging out with him and saying E.T. Could you not be so extra tonight? Yeah. He said E.T. Too extra. Yeah. I was like, yes, exactly.
Starting point is 00:24:51 Tonight. So it's E T.E. E.T.E. It's very palindromic. He loves palindromic. He does. Very palindromic, darling. Oh, it's still palindromic.
Starting point is 00:25:03 E.T. My name is Adam. Um, I, E.T. Padabah. No, I always remember the book growing up that we had to read. It was called Hannah is a palindrome. Oh. I don't know what it was.
Starting point is 00:25:18 You had to read. Did they have a gun to your head? Oh. No, they did not. Hey, look, we have to take a break. Oh, wait. When we come back, I want to tell the conclusion of this. I'd love to hear.
Starting point is 00:25:29 The rest. And then I've got a fun surprise for everyone. We'll be right back. You all know, big clothes, guys. So when I talk about clothes, you better listen. A well-built wardrobe is about pieces that work together and hold up over time. And that's what Quince does best. Premium materials, thoughtful design, and everyday staples that feel easy to wear and easy to rely upon.
Starting point is 00:25:57 Even as the weather shifts. Oh, winter is coming eventually. Quince has the everyday essentials that I love with quality that lasts. Organic cotton, sweaters, polo is for every occasion. jackets to keep you warm in the changing seasons. The list goes on. Quince works directly with top factories and cuts out the middlemen, so you're not paying extra for the brand markup, just quality clothing.
Starting point is 00:26:20 Their factories meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship and ethical production, and everything is built to hold up to daily wear and still look good season after season. Listen, you know what I just got for Christmas from my darling sister-in-law was a Mongolian cashmere zip sweater and I love it. It's a beautiful blue color. It zips all the way up from the bottom to the top. It's got like a mock neck. It's so soft and comfortable.
Starting point is 00:26:46 I got it in this nice blue color that I love. It pretty much matches everything in my wardrobe. The sweater's cozy and yet lightweight. It's the perfect piece for layering in the cashmere fabric. I don't have to tell you. It's so warm and so soft. It's been to go to winter staple for me and I know I'm going to get a lot of wear out of it for years to come.
Starting point is 00:27:04 Refresh your wardrobe with Quintz. Go to quince.com slash freedom for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash freedom. Free shipping and 365 day returns. Quint.com slash freedom. Mint mobile, queen of the universe. Every group has someone who assists on doing things the hard way.
Starting point is 00:27:29 I hope that's not me. That friend who's still paying for a subscription they forgot they had. Could be me. That one refusing to update the phone because it still works. Okay, not me, a little colder. I used to be that person, too. Oh, it turns out it's not me. Especially when it came to overpaying for wireless.
Starting point is 00:27:46 Then I switched to Mint Mobile. I'm so glad I did. Stop paying way too much for wireless just because that's how it's always been. Mint exists purely to fix that. Same coverage, same speed, just without the inflated price tag. It's the premium wireless you expect unlimited talk, text, and data, but at a fraction of what others charge. and for a limited time, get 50% off three, six, or 12 months, 12 months is a year.
Starting point is 00:28:12 12 month plans of a limited premium wireless. Bring your own phone a number, activate with an e-sim in minutes, and start saving immediately. No walked up contracts, no hassle. With a seven-day money-back guarantee and customer satisfaction ratings in the mid-90s, it's pretty high, gang. Mint makes it easy to try it and see why people don't go back to their old carrier. My experience with Mint Mobile has been great so far. I'm constantly on the road for work.
Starting point is 00:28:40 God damn, that's true. And I've found that no matter where I am across the country, I'm still able to connect with friends and family. The service from Mint has been just as good as any of the big three networks. Plus, same with a ton of my wireless bill. That's more money in my wallet for room service and extra dessert because I know how to treat myself on the road. Ready to stop paying more than you have to.
Starting point is 00:29:02 New customers can make the switch today. limited time, get a limited premium wireless for just $15 per month. Switch now at mintmobile.com slash freedom. That's mintmobile.com. Dot clom. No, not dot com. Please don't go to a dot clom. Unless you wouldn't be on the clam internet.
Starting point is 00:29:21 That's mintmobile.com slash freedom. Up front payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, or $180 for 12 month plan required. Equivalent to $15 a month. Taxes and fees extra. Initial plan term only. Over 50% gigabytes may slow when network is busy. Capable device required.
Starting point is 00:29:38 Availability, speed, and coverage varies. Additional items apply. See mintmobile.com. Do you ever find yourself scrolling through headlines, especially health headlines, and just thinking that can't be true? Well, I certainly do. 2025 brought us some ridiculous far-fetched health claims
Starting point is 00:29:58 and some especially terrifying changes in public health. What's in store for us in 2026? I'm Chelsea Clinton, and we're back with season two of my podcast. That Can't be True. Follow along and catch up on season one wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. Now, previously, we had teased the end of this story that takes place in a restaurant and a fun surprise. Okay, so what happened in Ohio?
Starting point is 00:30:33 Well, we was everything. I thought the beginning was we went to a restaurant. Okay. So we had been to, we had been to. one restaurant with... We'd been to one restaurant with Emmy before, but she, she, and it was where we walked down to a local restaurant and we had her in her stroller the entire time and she was just like chilling. She didn't eat or anything. Since then, she has started to eat food. So we took
Starting point is 00:30:55 her to her first restaurant... A fried chicken. Sometimes. She just holds a big turkey leg. That's big medieval. Renaissance very turkey leg. So we went to a restaurant and we said, can we have a high chair and first time for the high chair at a restaurant Honestly, I don't even know that I've done that Oh really? Yeah, we've only had it
Starting point is 00:31:17 We've only taken to a couple restaurants Okay Yeah, so we sits in a regular chair And she can't even see the table She just stands on the chairs And she's saluting Or we hold her She wants to move around so much
Starting point is 00:31:28 So I don't know But yeah So we So Kulap takes the stroller out I put her in the high chair Coolop comes back in And I'm looking at the sit down And we've never done this before.
Starting point is 00:31:39 I'm looking at the situation. And I think to myself, oh, those coffee cups that the waitress just filled full of coffee are probably too close to her. And as I reach out to push them aside, she grabs one, dumps it on herself, and then throws it on the floor. Was she burning?
Starting point is 00:31:59 It was luckily enough time had passed since the coffee had come. And she only got part of it on her. She started crying, but we took off. and more just scared. Yeah, it was more scared. Yeah, we took off. We'd dine and death. She was crying, so we laughed.
Starting point is 00:32:13 We didn't pick for this coffee. It's on the floor. Shoot and screwed. I've never heard. Shoot and screwed. I don't know for that. But no, there wasn't that much on her and it wasn't that hot, but it was all over the floor. And it didn't break or whatever, but it was like, oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:32:28 So we need to move everything out of her way before she ever sits down because the first thing she's going to do is grab the first thing that's in front of her. Oh, well, Holly broke my computer yesterday. No. That was pretty sad. What did she do? She, there was, so I had bought myself a treat at Claire V, which is a store that I like. Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:32:47 What's the treat? Like that food? It was a, no, it's a purse company. I mean, it's a brand. They make these fun, like plastic chain link things. You can like attach to your bag. It's like a decoration. I was like, I'm going to get that.
Starting point is 00:32:59 I got that. And then she was running around with it every day since I got it. And I was kind of just going to like, that's annoying because that's not like a toy. Right. It's a thing you bother. It's my thing. But I kept letting her do it. And then yesterday I said,
Starting point is 00:33:11 what a good pair of you are. Yesterday I was like, she really shouldn't be playing with that. And I did take it away. And then she had it again. I should have just put it in the closet. She had it again. And then, but then whatever.
Starting point is 00:33:22 It was kind of fine. And then we were on my computer on FaceTime with my mom. And then me and Holly. And then she, we hung up and I was about to be done with my computer. And then she just whacked the plastic thing against my screen. It immediately. Oh, the screen cracked?
Starting point is 00:33:38 The screen went, Yeah. Oh my God. It was so instantaneous. It's like, I couldn't believe it. She didn't even hit it that hard. Like, it was, she was right next to it. She was like Indiana Jones did it?
Starting point is 00:33:48 I guess. And I was. Have you seen that movie? I have. Like a whip? She used a whip. Right. I started to cry.
Starting point is 00:33:56 I cried, which was, I think I was already right there anyway. And then, um, we're all like. Yeah, we're all just right there. One millisecond away. And then I was crying. And then I was like, I love you very much. Did you explain why she was wrong while you spanked her? I didn't explain anything to her.
Starting point is 00:34:16 I just took it away and then I was just like, fucking fuck. And then last night, Mike was like backing it up and the whole screen went black. Backing it up, meaning his ass? Yeah, he was just like backing his ass up against the window and then. You wanted to show you what he was very fucking. Then the screen went black. But he's going to get it fixed today.
Starting point is 00:34:32 So we'll see. Oh my gosh. Anyway, I was really sad. But it's like that's how quickly. That's how quickly it can all change. And even like she also likes my hair straightener. I have this like small hair straightener. And she's like hair, hair.
Starting point is 00:34:45 And then she likes to like carry it around the house. Again, it's very small and I don't really care. It's cheap. But then when it's on and she wants to grab it, I'm like panicking. Yeah. So, you know, it's that. I saw some Instagram video where it was a baby sitting on a, on a sofa and they put like a toy and then some household object. next to it and the baby would go for the household object every single time.
Starting point is 00:35:10 Yeah. Yeah. She, Emmy just wants like anything like, she wants remotes. She wants coasters. We got highly her own remote. Oh,
Starting point is 00:35:22 you can order one on Amazon. Does she like it or does she don't want the real remote? She like, it worked for a long time at that age. Like it worked for a while because she was still interested. If you put it out like somewhere, but you can put a label on it. So it's just you don't get confused.
Starting point is 00:35:34 Right. So it's an actual remote? We just bought on Amazon for like six bucks, just like a TV remote. And then... Does it say kids remote or just a TV remote? No, it's just a regular TV remote. No batteries. And then you just put it down.
Starting point is 00:35:44 Right. Yeah. Yeah. It's a good decoy for a while. And then eventually she realized that we didn't care about that one. Yeah. Oh, assholes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:52 I'm part of this family too. Yeah. It's the grabbing stuff. So it was a good learning experience because then the next day we went to a brunch. And before she sat down, I... That's cool. cleared everything out of the way, didn't take anything for granted of, like,
Starting point is 00:36:10 she knows not to grab this. Why don't you just push her further away from the table? Yeah, just have her across the room. Yeah. That's someone else's table. Why don't you leave her at home? Honestly. I did enjoy it when you mimed that she dumped the coffee in herself.
Starting point is 00:36:24 You mimed that she, like, tipped it over the top of her head. Like, like, absolutely on purpose. Here's what I do with this. Yeah. It was so. That's very stressful. very stressful and scary. And, you know, the people at the restaurant were very nice, but the people in the restaurant
Starting point is 00:36:42 were all looking at us like, these fucking idiots. I don't like when people judge each other with children. I like it in court. Well, yeah, I love that. I love that. Yeah, divorce court. Working out visitation? Are you guys ready for a little something called taste test?
Starting point is 00:36:59 I think I am. Wow. So I have two taste tests. It's been a while. We can save one for the next episode and do one now. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay.
Starting point is 00:37:06 Um, taste test. You might have already had this. Taste test. I doubt it. Well, I have two different things. One is a flavor of LaCroix that Mike is obsessed with that I hate. Okay. And now it's a test to see whether you like or hate it.
Starting point is 00:37:19 Here's what I, Scott. Here's what I learned from, uh, uh, you know what I would do. Yeah. That's Mike's podcast. You're not a LaCroix person, right? I do drink Lecroy, but not, I'm not obsessed. And I often won't finish a can. Okay.
Starting point is 00:37:33 Mike made it out like you. Oh, well, he likes to kind of, you know, make that the reason I might not like this. He likes to exaggerate. That's not the case. He likes to be a big man on his own podcast. I actually kind of like other. I like, I like sparkling waters, but. I don't like sparkling waters. I don't really like sparkling water.
Starting point is 00:37:48 Say this word. Limoncello. Yeah, okay. Have you had this? No, but. Janie loves this one. Mike, oh my God, drinks a hundred. Yeah. Oh, you said a little bit, yeah. All right. Okay. So, Paul and I both opened it.
Starting point is 00:38:02 We're going to, to propose a toast to each other. smell smells good smells like a sugary lemon it's pleasant i think it's good you like it you like it okay so we had people over a couple different times where they tried a different people and some people said they did not like it and really actually hated it had to muscle through it and i wow really hate it as well he thought i was going to be very excited but then now you both like it no it's like lemon with a it's it's not as tart as lemon it's like a sweet It feels like it has vanilla in it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:38 Yes. And that bothers me. It reminds me of a vanilla wafer. Oh, and that really bothers me. Oh, you don't like vanilla. I like vanilla, but not in a drink. Let's name the vanilla things you like. Cake.
Starting point is 00:38:51 Hmm. Cookies. icing. Um, ice cream. Checks out. Hey, Jesus. Yeah. Sorry, it took me a while to get there.
Starting point is 00:38:59 Extract? I love extract. Vanilla extract is my favorite extract. Bean? Um, bean. Um, yeah. sex yeah
Starting point is 00:39:09 like sure why not everyone's wrong just miss super plain as nick wager would say vanilla is a flavor you know
Starting point is 00:39:16 vanilla is a flavor yeah I love it I never appreciated vanilla until someone was talking about vanilla wayfers once
Starting point is 00:39:23 and saying like vanilla because I always thought it was plain it was like a word for plain but it's it's I love vanilla
Starting point is 00:39:28 yeah okay so you love this I by the way it's taking everything I can to pronounce it vanilla and not vanilla
Starting point is 00:39:35 vanilla vanilla Vanilla. Vanilla? Yeah. Like, did you also say milk? No. Okay.
Starting point is 00:39:41 I didn't, I never heard that until I moved out here. Malk. Malk. Malk. Do you want the second taste test? Do you want to save it? Martin Luther King, of course. Malk.
Starting point is 00:39:50 Malk. Milk Boulevard. Do you want the second taste test? Do you want to say it? Because I'm enjoying this one. I agree. I can still taste it. It's an edible thing.
Starting point is 00:40:00 There's a little bit of an aftertaste. And that's the problem. Yeah. It's very perfumi to me. This is a great tease for our next episode because I was really. really worried no one was going to listen to the next episode. I know because we kind of obviously were telling a lot of about stories today. If you thought drinking was interesting, wait till you hear eating on a mic. Yeah, my problem with sparkling water is first of all, I don't like the
Starting point is 00:40:22 texture of sparkling water. The bubbles in your throat. I don't, it's not like I, it's too wet. I like a soda, like a carbonated beverage. Yeah. But there's something about mineral water. Oh, God. He's floating up to the sky. Oh, no. Charlie! I wish I had a roof. With a fan in it. Yeah, it just, it doesn't do it for me.
Starting point is 00:40:47 I don't, I find it like it makes me thirstier than... Yeah, I don't know. It doesn't quench my thirst. Well, yeah, I've actually Googled this. Like, I've Googled is sparkling water doesn't get on chance. And what did it say? I don't remember. All right, let me look it up.
Starting point is 00:41:02 Does sparkling water hydrate you. But I also don't like it. like the, yes, the flavor carbonated water will hydrate just as well as still water. Sure, it's water. But you're not,
Starting point is 00:41:11 but you're not going to like run a marathon and drink that. No, no, no, no, no. It wouldn't feel like it. Because you're also going like,
Starting point is 00:41:16 I'm burping. I'm farting. I'm farting. A slightly acidic pH. A slightly acidic pH. It's a little poorly. But I also don't like the, the slight flavoring.
Starting point is 00:41:29 Yeah. Because it just makes me want something with full flavor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And I'm jealous because people love this. shit. Oh, I know. They love it.
Starting point is 00:41:38 I know. I haven't thought about LaCroy because here's something. Okay. He's something. Yeah. If you read the can, I think it's on the can, not just the box, where it says innocent. Innocent?
Starting point is 00:41:49 Is it on the, or is that just on the box? Innocence project? I got a fine. No, it says it on the can. Okay. It is an exclamation mark. Read it. Where?
Starting point is 00:41:56 It goes like zero. Oh, you're spilling. Oh, you're spilling. Oh, no. Wait, we're supposed to read what? Hold on. I just see the word innocent. There's no further information.
Starting point is 00:42:05 it basically says like zero calories equals innocent with an exclamation and I always think this is it says zero okay it says zero calorie zero sweetener zero sodium equals innocent exclamation oh I see it goes all the way around and I just have a problem with that because I feel like we're going to in 20 years they're going to go oh and that was a really bad drink for everyone because like it's just going like innocent yeah and also how does it have zero of everything I've never understood that. Yeah. Okay. How how is it possible that something has zero of any of the things? This is cancer water. That's kind of what I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Who knows?
Starting point is 00:42:43 Here's because flavored sparkling water is now the default. Yeah. Everywhere you go. Yeah. I was at a friend's birthday party on Saturday and he offered me a drink and it was daytime. So I didn't want to like wine or anything. And I said, do you have like a soda? And he goes, what do you like? Do you like, like cola? Yeah, that would be fine. Would you like a cola? This is not a conversation that a human being has had with another human being. It sounds like you're too aliens.
Starting point is 00:43:13 You said, can I have a soda? He said, do you like a cola? What kind of soda do you like? Yeah. Well, here's. This would probably explain it. Okay. Because he's from Mars.
Starting point is 00:43:22 He comes. He comes back and he has three sparkling waters because I realize. He thinks that's cola. Well, he hasn't, he doesn't know what, he doesn't have soda in the house. Right. I see. So he's like, and he probably doesn't drink soda. Right.
Starting point is 00:43:41 And so he just goes in. Was it a cola flavored water? No, it was not. It was like, I have these. And I said, oh, you know what? I'm good. Yeah. So I'll just be dry.
Starting point is 00:43:50 And you knocked him at his hand. No, I said, I'll just have water. Yeah. And he said, I don't have that. He said, I already made one trip for you. And then he ordered me out of his house. Wow. But then he, he said,
Starting point is 00:44:02 said, well, what kind of soda you usually like? And I'm like, I don't know, like Coke or whatever. Has he never heard of Coke? And then no, no, no. He has, but he was asking me my preference. And then like a half hour later, his wife comes in the house with a six pack of Coke. Oh, how nice. I know, but I felt her out.
Starting point is 00:44:20 I felt bad. Yeah. You don't like Coke that much. You're like, I don't know. I was fine to not have it. Yeah. Water is fine. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:28 But I felt really bad that they felt bad that they felt bad. Yeah. that they didn't have a thing that I wanted. And now they're going to have this six-pack that they're dealing with for like ever. No, they tore, people tore through it. Oh, really? People like Coke.
Starting point is 00:44:41 Yeah, I know. That happened to me, though, the other day when there was a guest here who's like, PR person was like, make sure there's a Diet Coke for them. And I get this request like the night before. I'm like, I don't have Diet Coke in the house. Like, feel free to bring your own, you know. Yeah, that's stressful. You're going to run out to the store.
Starting point is 00:45:00 But you, we should, we all should have at least. one Coke and one Diet Coke in the house at all times. Well, my mom loves Diet Coke, and I do stock the fridge before she arrives, because otherwise we have to go get it, and then I have to go do that. So it's like, I got to have it ready to go. I always have Coke zero in the fridge. Yeah. The little cans.
Starting point is 00:45:17 I don't always have Diet Coke to be clear. I actually don't drink so. Oh, no, that was clear. That was crystal clear. Like the way that you... Oh, I got it. But you know what? I haven't. Basically, I stopped drinking Coke when I was in high school, I mean, in college because I started getting headaches from the huge things of it that I would fill up in the food court school thing, whatever.
Starting point is 00:45:37 And... Are you drinking fountain? Yeah, because I could get my free refills and I'd just be like, I'm drinking this all fucking day. And then I started to get headaches and I was like, let me just quit cold turkey. And then I basically never had it again except for, you know, a sip here and there. And when I have it now, I'm like, this is so good.
Starting point is 00:45:53 Yeah. First I would have it and go, oh, it's really syrupy. Like when I first came back and the first one. But now I'm like if I'm sometimes you're just really in the mood for a Coke. What would make a Coke taste better? Like get rid of the bubbles. I don't think it needs to taste better. I think it's great.
Starting point is 00:46:10 Just corn syrup. I love drinking corn syrup. Oh, I glug that stuff. Just corn. I love corn. Well, I love corn. I love to drink corn. There, I said it.
Starting point is 00:46:21 But you know how like you'll drink a, you'll drink a Coke and oh my God, he admit it. You'll drink a Coke and it won't. It won't quench your thirst. You'll be like. just as thirsty afterwards. I've not had that experience. Oh, really? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:32 But they sell it like, it's like, oh, quench your thirst with coke. I wouldn't say a thirst quencher. I wouldn't say it is either. Here, let me look it up. It's not maybe thirstier. Does cook quenst your thirst. Sometimes it does for me. We've been rewatching, I think you should leave, which is so funny.
Starting point is 00:46:48 And it was actually the first thing I watched right after giving birth. I like, I beg your pardon? It was like the first thing I watched after giving birth. Oh, 10 minutes after? Well, like, once I was like, recovering in the room, I put it on and I put it on. and that was, like, cracking. I think I was, like, so high from everything. But it's also very funny.
Starting point is 00:47:02 And then we've been rewatching it now, and it's so funny. And every, I had forgotten so many funny things from it. But there's this one with John or Lee where he's at dinner. And this is like my favorite. He's like, and he's like, I forgot to lie. So funny. Okay, look, sparkling soft drinks.
Starting point is 00:47:20 Okay, look. Contained between 85% and 99% water, which means they can help quench thirst and count towards your recommended daily, So it's one percent brown. It sounds a lot like Paul's... I'm just not buying that. Paul's poops from earlier.
Starting point is 00:47:38 Shut up. Hey. The Grinch was talking about him, not us. Anything. That fucking guy. He's obsessed. Blame it on the Grinch. Blame it on the Grinch.
Starting point is 00:47:51 Yeah. Yeah. All right. We'll be right back. I'm Rachel Bannon. I'm Ari McDonald. And welcome to Ari and Rachel unfiltered at Unrivaled. A show where you give you all you need to know from Unrivaled and more.
Starting point is 00:48:10 This season, we're talking to some of the best athletes. I'm trying to watch my language. You good. Be you. It's Unfertered. That's what we're here for. And coaches in women's basketball, like Paige Becker's and Leeroo. Hey, it's Paige.
Starting point is 00:48:21 Hi, it's Lee. And Celebrity Unrivaled fans about games, news, all for the fans to learn more about our journey and the folks who make Unrivaled the Great League it is. I'm super unfiltered. Air is going to be super unfiltered. because I'm going to force her to be. We'll also be talking to you and answering your questions. So tune in every Thursday and find us on social and all your favorite podcast platforms.
Starting point is 00:48:48 And we're back. Oh, the Grinch is back. No, he's not. Because the Grinch, the Grinch is back. You're singing Lump. I was like, what? How is this a parody of Lump? The bitch.
Starting point is 00:49:03 The bitch. The bitch. The bitch is back. Yeah. Now, what was that time? about. Lump. She's lump. She's lump. She's lump. It's in her, she's in my head. I mean, it's about someone who sits alone in a boggy marsh totally emotionless except for her heart. I know because I'm like, what is that? Mud flowed up into her pajamas and she totally confused all
Starting point is 00:49:28 the passing piranhas. I just want to say as a child I love this song and that makes sense because it's definitely a goof troop. Nothing makes sense song for children. Like that's just what that is. But it rocks. It rocks my cocks off. Would you say it's a goof troop? How many cogs do you have? Well, not anymore. Oh, okay. Would you say you have 26?
Starting point is 00:49:47 Yeah. Goof Troop core? It's Groot Troop. It puts the lotion in the basket. It puts the lotion in the basket and it gets the hose. If you, if, okay, so if every time you had sex, your penis fell off and you had to grow it back for two weeks. Would anyone ever have sex again? Well, I think animals have that situation.
Starting point is 00:50:05 I would because sex is great. Oh, that's right. I think you could last two weeks without it. With your wife or husband. When you think about how disgusting sex is, the idea of it, what you're doing. I talked about this on a previous episode that unfortunately Kulap listened to. And she's like, oh, really? Sex is disgusting.
Starting point is 00:50:24 No, because you said naked bodies are all disgusting. Well, yeah. She was like, and then Jack Hughes commented something about that. And I think it was in the, like, whole quote or whatever. And then Kloop was like, this offends me. She's fine. But the idea of... She's fine.
Starting point is 00:50:41 We're still together. We worked it out. When you break it down... Yeah. Like kissing is disgusting. Oh, everything. It's crazy. You can't think about these things.
Starting point is 00:50:48 No, but it's like, that's why they, the creator in his infinite wisdom made it feel so good. Yeah. And he made us... That's the thing. He made us in his image, which means he has a rock hard cock. Oh.
Starting point is 00:51:00 All the time. How does that song go? How does that song about God go? What if God had a rock hard cock? Right. Cock is better. All right, Paul, do we have... Oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:51:13 Do we have a three-cher? Yeah, we do. Sorry, guys, we have a three-char. Sorry, everyone. Sorry, it's that time of the game. I mean, show. It's that time of the game. It's that time of the month.
Starting point is 00:51:22 We'll have to... Forgive me. It's that time of the game. All right. This is submitted by Rochelle Collins. Hey, Rochelle. And Matt O'Producer, who referred to himself as Matt O'Producer, which I really enjoyed. I like that just to clear it up, so we're not confused.
Starting point is 00:51:37 He suggested the title, 3H1 storytellers. Like 3H1 Borytellers? Is that a parody of that? Yeah, it's a 3H1 boretellers. And it's like, you got it. It's supposed to be like the 4H club?
Starting point is 00:51:54 Yes, that's right. It's a parody of many things. Got it. Wow, it's clever. One person is a musician at a live concert telling the story behind the next song they're about to play. The other two people have to guess
Starting point is 00:52:05 the real artist on song title based on the made-up story. It's fun. I like that. Say it one more time because I wasn't tracking. Okay. I'll say a letter for the people in the back. Okay.
Starting point is 00:52:13 Thank you. Rattle your jewelry. This is 3H1 storytellers. Where the fuck did it go? I got that much. So you tell the story behind the song as if you're like doing your VH1 behind the music, storytelling, whatever. And then we have to guess what the song is based on that.
Starting point is 00:52:34 So you pick a real song and tell the story of it. Yeah. Love it. I'm going to look at my phone to find. find a song. I'm going to look at Lawrence phone to find the song she's looking up. I'm going to look at the ground and just think about my life.
Starting point is 00:52:46 And how great it is? Ooh, not good. Uh-oh. And do we play the song? I forgot about that. Afterwards? I guess you can. I think that would just be a nice transition to the next one. We could do that. We could do that.
Starting point is 00:53:00 All right. Do anyone want to go first? No, because I haven't found. Yeah, so no one wants to. Okay. Okay. Okay, I got one. This coffee has chickory. Caramel, I believe. Oh.
Starting point is 00:53:16 Well, fuck me all to hell. Do you want me to do one? Yes. I'm not doing an impression of the person. No, of course. I'm just making that clear because I would give, you know, I would just add a layer to this. Agreed.
Starting point is 00:53:27 I thought we agreed. No impressions. Do you want to play it when you're done? Okay. I'd love to just launch right into that. Lauren has been given the ox. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:53:36 Okay. So, so this song, it was so, first of all, thank you all for being so excited about it
Starting point is 00:53:45 because it is one of the best ones that I've done. Are you, are we allowed to talk back? Yeah. Hi. Hi. Thanks for inviting us to this.
Starting point is 00:53:53 Okay, not anymore. Shut up. Did you hear me say I love you? Yes, thank you. So this song was a song where it was really just about. Why are the ticket master fees so exorbitant? How I wanted. More than anything to me.
Starting point is 00:54:07 Are you listening to him? I just had this urge in my body to like move my body, but not only by myself. So I think that that was something that came to me as like maybe this is a universal feeling that, you know, when when the sun goes down and all these things start happening, I just really want that feeling that when my body moves around the room to the music. or whatever space I'm in, I can do that. So either a room or whatever space you might be in? Yes. And I would like to,
Starting point is 00:54:45 ideally my preference would be to do that activity not solo. Well, Whitney, when you say you want to dance with somebody and you sing it, what the fuck does that mean? Oh, this is what she means. Oh!
Starting point is 00:55:01 Ha ha ha ha ha ha who where why how Woo! One of the great woo's. Yeah. All right. Who yeah. I gave that a fade out. I turned it off.
Starting point is 00:55:22 Thanks. That was fun. I didn't know how else to describe it. By the way, it made me very happy when I was in Ohio this weekend. And I heard we were out of market and I heard tears for fears. outside before we came in on playing on the speaker. And I arrived right at the moment in where it goes, do, do do do da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, but ba.
Starting point is 00:55:42 And then the guy goes, yeah. Do you know that part in the song? I don't either. It's one of the greatest, yes, because it's off rhythm, sort of. It's not, it's in a weird part. Right. I love, I just love going. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:54 He's just happy about it. He's having a great time. I believe we asked them about that when they were on bang, bang. All right, okay. Seriously, Fierce was on bang bang, bang. Yeah, they were great. They were on the TV show and the podcast. They were with the Pye Minister.
Starting point is 00:56:05 Wow, that's cool. And then when they were on the TV show, a week later, they came up to me and they're like, we can't stop talking like the Pai Minister. That's awesome. I saw them do like a more recent. There was a video going around of them seeking some other. Oh yeah, they have a new album. Yeah, that's what it was.
Starting point is 00:56:23 Yeah. But it was so fun to see them and they were like so great. Mm-hmm. All right. Are you ready? Yes. Yes. Hey everyone, thanks
Starting point is 00:56:31 So much for coming You may be wondering why I brought you all here I think it's a concert Oh you Did someone spoil that? I thought it was a murder mystery dinner I had to pay Oh so you got
Starting point is 00:56:42 Oh you got a ticket to a dinner That's why I'm dressed like this Okay so you're just the butler Yeah But then why are you wearing a full football uniform It's a backstory for the butler character We were encouraged to embellish I think you have the wrong adjun
Starting point is 00:56:56 I actually I gotta go I'm sorry. I shouldn't be here. Stick around if you like. If you like my music, you can stick around because you're already in. Tell us about the song.
Starting point is 00:57:07 Okay, this is about a friend of mine. He's in the arts and he's an actor. He was in a little movie called The Big Short. And I just loved his work so much. I loved the way he chewed gum and he was just so interesting to me. I said, oh, I got to write a song about him. So I went and interviewed him and talked to him about his life.
Starting point is 00:57:37 And he had a very difficult relationship with his father. And one day he was with his father and his father just took his, not his right hand, but his other one and just swung at him and hit him. Left hand. And it surprised him. Gum. It surprised him so much. And then he went on to star in succession.
Starting point is 00:58:07 He's a method actor, and he's incredible. Jeremy by Pearl Jam? Yeah. Yay. Play the song. Oh, she had to have forgotten. We were all forgetting to play the song. Jeremy Spoken.
Starting point is 00:58:22 Clare. It's fun to sing in a weird way. It is fun. Don't you always wonder with certain singers where you're like, did you just decide to start doing that? Yeah. It's interesting. Because you hear him talk and he's,
Starting point is 00:58:38 Eddie Vedder's the one. He heard him talk. He's like, hello there. How are you? Welcome to my child. Oh, Mountain Talk. Is chewing gum mentioned in that song? No, he chews gum in the big short.
Starting point is 00:58:54 Jeremy Strong. Oh, he's in that? I've never seen that film. I don't remember him in that movie. That's the first place I ever. saw him. I do remember him. I was like, how is this actor chewing gum his entire performance? Oh, I'd love to see that. With his mouth open.
Starting point is 00:59:06 I like watching him. Yeah, anyway, so hi. Hey, I want to thank you all. This is not an impression, by the way. Okay. I want to thank you all for being here. Do you do impressions? Do the Grinch. Oh, who high?
Starting point is 00:59:23 He's terrible. It's really bad. We know him. Dude De Niro. That's not one of the. Or can you milk me? Uh, how's your baby De Niro? He just had a baby. Oh, I thought you meant how was my baby De Niro impression. Do a baby De Niro impression.
Starting point is 00:59:39 Are you talking to me? Say goo-go-gaga. Babies can't talk yet. I was going to. I was going to say, goo-go-gag-you cut me off. Hey, listen, I'm so happy. Okay, thanks for your concert.
Starting point is 00:59:48 Bye. No, there's more to it. Oh, I haven't even done the first song. Oh, wait, put the chairs back. Yes. What kind of a concert did you think it was? We thought was you doing baby De Niro impressions. Oh, I wish.
Starting point is 00:59:59 And we were excited. I wish. Anyway, this next song, which is also the first song, it's very important to be. It's sort of about time in a way. When someone tells you what time it is and you think, well, is it that time now? Does anybody really know what time it is? By Chicago? Great talk about Chicago.
Starting point is 01:00:26 But no, I'm talking about my song. Clocks by Colts. Play? The song Paul definitely knows. It's a song. I thought it'd be funny if you picked that. You know, I went to one recording of Saturday Night Live and the musical guest was Coldplay.
Starting point is 01:00:44 Oh, wow. Who was the host? The host was... Come on. Fucking John Hamm. And Coldplay did three songs. Yeah. And sometimes we like that better than having
Starting point is 01:00:58 too many sketches. because the sketches aren't always great. I would have liked to have seen one more sketching. That never happens, three songs. It did. It's only reserved for huge musical artists. Like you two. Paul McCartney.
Starting point is 01:01:09 Coldplay. I have never noticed that. Anyway, this song is... Or Pearl Jam. This song is about... Jeremy Spoken. This song is about questioning things. Okay.
Starting point is 01:01:20 Questioning time. It's about being unhappy. And... Someone tells you, hey, hold on there. And you're like, well, I don't want to hold on anymore. I want things to be better now. Kat Stevens, is that you? No, it's not me.
Starting point is 01:01:42 Paul McCartney? No, I'm not Paul McCartney. This is weird. You guys came to my concert. I thought you would know who I am. We heard this was an impression of Baby De Niro. The ticket said anonymous concert. And we thought it was anonymous with the,
Starting point is 01:01:57 Baby Tenero. With the Guy Fox mask. Okay. Okay. So time, time, time. It's about somebody saying, you know, hey, it's going to, you know, what? You stop, you don't have to wait anymore. Are you the Bengals and or Simon and Garfunkel?
Starting point is 01:02:17 Two guesses at once? No. They sang the same song. I know they did, but you're wrong both times. Oh, how about Cindy Lopper, time after time. How about her? Who do you like? What artist do you like?
Starting point is 01:02:30 Oh, I like so many artists, but mainly I like myself in the song. I'm about to sing, which is my song. Is it the Kings? Who does that song? Pink Floyd does. No, that's not what I'm thinking. This song plays with the concept of time in a whiny way. In a whiny way.
Starting point is 01:02:47 Are you Bob Dylan? Nope. Talk more about the lyrics. This is the weirdest concert I've ever played. Is it Billy Joel? No, it's not really Joel. We're just guessing artists now. Talk about the lyrics a little bit.
Starting point is 01:03:01 I will talk about the lyrics. The lyrics involve, you know, who I am, where I come from, who my parents are, perhaps, maybe who my father is. It's about... Is this about, is it about a receptacle that you can... I'm a lot like you are. Is this about a receptacle that you could put time into... I'm going to do the songs, please. I wish I knew what I know.
Starting point is 01:03:26 Hey, you should do the concert. No, no, my career. Is this about a receptacle you can put time in? No, it's not. This is about... It's not time in a bottle. Yeah, I know what you meant, dude. Is this about a certain feline being in a cradle?
Starting point is 01:03:45 That's what I've been trying to get at. I couldn't remember it. Yeah, it's not. Okay. That's Jim Crocey. Let me relieve you both of that bird. Cats in the cradle? Isn't Jim Crocey, dude?
Starting point is 01:03:53 Cats the cat's the guy? Cradle, sir. He does. He does. I thought someone else did that. No, it's Harry Chapin. There you. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 01:03:59 Well, also the version I know is Ralph from the Muppets. And the Ralph's in the cradle with the sylpspoon. This is also about maybe going out and you think you're going to find some satisfaction there, but then you don't really make the most of it. Rolling stones. That's on you. Is this icon of pop? I wish it were. Let's just hear how that little song goes.
Starting point is 01:04:22 And here it goes. Wow How soon is now How soon as now I'm Wow I am the son of nothing in particular. I am human and I need to be loved.
Starting point is 01:05:06 Just like anybody else does. He used to be so fun. He used to be fun. Now he's a stone drag. I like, I like his new character, though. What's his new character? The new Morrissey. Oh, I thought maybe he'd evolved once more.
Starting point is 01:05:23 Well, then we did the feature. Did we do it? I can do one more. Okay, do one more. Do one more. We don't want to do one more. This is a song about time. This clocks by Coldplay?
Starting point is 01:05:37 Excuse me. I just finished my concert across the street. Donko, dinkle, dong, don't don't dangle, dingle, dingle, baby, gung, baby. Where's the Grinch? Get him out here. Hey, Grinch, come out of here.
Starting point is 01:05:53 If I could save time in a bottle, the first thing that I'd like to do. Well, that's going to be it for this episode. A couple of things. Yeah, let's say housekeeping. Let's get out of the way. Housekeeping. Are we allowed to play this? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:13 Who's going to stop us? Chris Martin? I'd like to see him try. I saw him one set a concert. He was huge. Huge? Tall and jacked. Really?
Starting point is 01:06:21 Turn off, turn off. So he just got. way hotter. Divorce is treating you well out. I guess my Dakota Johnson's down to clown. By the way, I also saw Keanu Reza a much sponsor, maybe 15 years ago. And he was very sweet.
Starting point is 01:06:38 He enjoyed it, and he had his own room. Oh. I love it. Unplugged. Met him between two friends. Oh, that's right. Well, I didn't bring it up either. That tower video when I waited on.
Starting point is 01:06:50 Yeah. And what did he rent? I don't remember. I don't recall. You should have written it down. Yeah. And kept the paper forever and never got it. You know what?
Starting point is 01:06:59 I didn't think I waited on him, but I did come up and get an autograph for someone who was a huge fan. Oh, really? Yes. That's fun. I read a story about him that a person's either mother or grandmother who is like 90. Is this a riddle? Is a huge Keanu Reeves fan? and the person like the son or the grandson.
Starting point is 01:07:24 Get your own people, old people. Come on. That's ours. The son or the grandson was... You can only be fans of people that are your contemporaries and age. Yeah. Was not really a huge fan,
Starting point is 01:07:34 but he saw Keone or Reeves at a diner or something and came up to him and said, hey, my... I don't do this personally, but my grandmother is 89 years old and it just loves your movie so much. Do you mind if I take a picture of you? And he was like, do you mind if I call her?
Starting point is 01:07:50 And, like, chatted on the phone with her for 15 minutes. Hi, old lady. How are you doing? Hey. Hey, I'm at the diner. I was eating at the counter and I saw Deanna Reeves there. Keep going.
Starting point is 01:08:04 He said, he called my grandpa. So I handed my telephone. All right. Look, here's the deal. If you're going to give us a voicemail, apparently some of you have been leaving long-ass voicemails. Oh, really? Two minutes and longer.
Starting point is 01:08:20 That's what we're hearing. We're never going to listen to them, but our Matt, our producer has to listen to them. Yeah. And he has made a request, please keep these under 30 seconds where you say your name and then you ask a question and then you're gone. Yeah. That's a reasonable request. You can also throw in a compliment.
Starting point is 01:08:38 Yeah. And what is the number that people call? Just call. Hague claims eight. Yes. Now, the other thing he wants us to say, about three-chers. What are some of your favorite games to play with friends?
Starting point is 01:08:55 Ooh, good call. Yeah. Some, like, car games or hanging around games. That would be cool to get some of those. Okay. We're looking for that classic Ministers Cat feel. Yes. Or Botticelli.
Starting point is 01:09:09 Let's bring back Ministers cat. Remember Botticelli? Rotatoulli. What was the name of it? It was not Botticelli. It is Botticelli in the version I know, but. Oh. I'm going to look up Bata Shelley game.
Starting point is 01:09:23 I knew it is Jackson Pollock. Oh, really? No. There is a Wikipedia for it called Bata Shelley. Bata Shelley is a guessing game where one person or a team thinks of a famous person reveals the initial letter of their name and then answers yes or no questions. Wait, there was some other game we played that had like an Italian name that was not, that was a different game, but was known by this weird name that I'd never heard before. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:09:47 Interesting. We'll never find out. We'll never find out. But speaking of finding out things, if you want to find out how to listen to ad-free episodes of this show, listen to them at Stitcher Premium or at CBB World. And if you have a follow us on Instagram, which is at Freedom USA. And then if you want to send us an email, Paul, what is that? Freedom USA at gmail.com.
Starting point is 01:10:11 Lauren, you have anything to add? I can't wait to see what your guys are going to send in. That was like Paul Abdul when she sounded all nuts on that news program one time. I got to look that up. Oh, it's good. Okay, we'll look that up in between episodes. And by the time you listen to the next episode, we'll all have seen it. I think you're going to say, we'll be dead.
Starting point is 01:10:33 We'll be dead. By the time you listen to the next episode, we'll all be dead. If you're hearing this episode, I'm dead. All right, bye. Bye. Want to listen to your favorite Lemonada shows without the ads? Subscribe to Lemonada Premium on Apple Podcasts. You'll get ad-free episodes and exclusive bonus content from shows like Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis Dreyfus,
Starting point is 01:11:08 Fail Better with David DeCovny, the Sarah Silverman podcast, and so many more. It's a great way to support the work we do and treat yourself to a smoother, uninterrupted listening experience. Just head to any Lemonada show feed on Apple Podcasts and hit subscribe. Make Life Suck Less, with fewer ads, with Lemonada Premium. Thank you.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.