Threedom - Threevisiting: I Get It, I'm Doctor Strange

Episode Date: April 15, 2025

Threevisiting on the Tues: Scott, Paul & Lauren discuss Comedian Feud and recurring dreams before playing Conversation: The Game. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Listen ad-free and unlock bi-weekly THREEMIUMS on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, is this an okay time? It's your girl Dylan Mulvaney and I am inviting you to my weekly cocktail party and my brand new podcast, The Dylan Hour, brought to you by Lemonada Media. Life is stressful and there is so much darkness in the world, I think we could all use a little bit of trans joy. So join me every week as I interview some of my favorite A-list celebrity friends and gurus and of course the dolls while we sip and spill the scalding hot tea. So put your worries aside and join me at the

Dylan hour. You can listen on Apple, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. Love ya! Freedom. Freedom! Freedom. Freedom. Freedom! Did you catch that I was doing old school sort of- No. You didn't catch? Character play? Well, not character play, but like-

Animation, like I'm big in Looney Tunes, and I do a lot of voice-over, I do the three, then I do the three, then. That's an interesting interp, but what I was doing was, you remember how when they, with a song, if they wanted to like jazz it up a little bit, they would take something that already existed

and they were to speed it up or slow it down. Yeah. Like what? Give us one example. Like freedom. Everybody dance now. And then I spit it out, I went freedom, freedom, example. Like, freedom. But that is okay. And then I spit it out, I went freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom. What if we put freedom onto existing songs?

Everybody dance now. Ha ba ba ba. Ha ba ba ba ba ba. Ha ba ba ba. Freedom. Ha ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. Freedom. Do do do.

Do do do. Kevin is. Kevin's loving it. He's like. Kevin's bopping along. He loves it. I got that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, Definitely. Two and a half people going nuts. This is what freedom means to me. Wait a minute. How do you know you're a half person? Maybe I'm the half person. I'm half because I'm a woman. Damn. 2.66. I'm half because I'm a woman. Why is that song so funny to me?

From Let's Go Girls to that riff, which is hilarious to me. It's camp. It is kind of camp, is it? Yeah. Oh, it's camp. I'm in short shorts, girls. Oh, oh, oh. Everything about it is great.

Every part about it is great. It's really funny to me. Did you see her come out with Harry Styles? I saw clips of that. I saw a clip, but I didn't click it. Why didn't you click on the clip? Cause I was just like, can't do this right now, can't do this right now. So I did 10 of that. I saw a clip, but I didn't click it. Why didn't you click on the clip? Cause I was just like, can't do this right now. Can't do this right now.

So I was like 10 more times and I forgot. Seeing, seeing there is a clip is almost the same as watching it. I felt like I understood. Like you get it. You get what happened. When I see a movie poster, I'm like, I got it. Yeah. Yeah.

I understand this whole thing. Doctor Strange. If I see the idea of a tweet that is just sort of You're saying you're Doctor Strange when you see a movie poster Yeah, I say I look at a movie poster. I get it. I'm Dr. Strange Sorry, no, I don't care. We hate to talk over you Apologize to each other don't even bother

Gives one who gives a flying Who gives one? Who gives a flying? A tiny little. Would you crackle your bottle more into the microphone? That was great. Welcome to Three to Mine, Paul. Hi, it's raining. Hi, it's raining.

That's what you say when you wake up. It's raining a roaring fire? Hi, it's raining. Oh my God. Fire's raining down through the heavens. This is Scott waking up on a rainy day next to up. He's just been there for a long time. She finally opened her eyes and he goes,

hi, it's raining. Hi, it's raining. Speaking of sleeps, lately- Did you get some? Tell me. I slept horribly last night. Before you even get into your story, and before I hear about that,

what happened with your sleep study? Did they give you results? Yeah. Here's the thing. Between the time I booked the sleep study and the time the sleep study actually happened, I lost a lot of weight. And so I was no longer having the issues that I was having,

which I kind of knew as I got there at 10 p.m. and he's putting the stickers on me. And you're like, this is the weirdest room I've ever been in. Yeah, I was like, my sleep has actually been okay lately. Oh, and was he like, get out of here, you nut. No, I said that internally to my mind. I said it to my mind.

So you figured you might as well see what happened. I did the sleep study, it was fine. I had no issues. You were asleep the whole time. They were like, so you're just one of those creeps who wants to come be watched. And woke up at 5 AM. And have me jerk off while I watch you.

Wait a minute, why were you jerking off? Who? Okay, wait, and so you slept horrible last night, and also what about sleep? I've been waking up in the middle of the night lately. Because my house is on fire. I will be having a dream, and then I will start talking in my sleep.

But like- I know the secrets that you keep. It's a weird, when I'm talking in my sleep? Yeah, I know them. That's such a funny idea secrets first of all I wouldn't tell the person I'd be like I know the secret that's why it would make some secret but the fact that when you're talking in your sleep like you're like here your sleep, we go to bed and I go to sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep I just got another text from Kevin. That is song two? No, song two is woohoo!

Doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon. That's a good song. Also, Crumblievable is a good song. You're crumblievable. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do. I love thinking of a band like that when that gets licensed and they're like, okay. You know, you just go, whatever. Yeah, I mean, they're all like 20 year olds when that came out.

It's free money, bud. Okay, wait, so. I was gonna call you short. I don't. It's free money, weasel. The weasel at the polyshore. And Cinemax. Cinemax.

You couldn't stop waking up. Cinemax, baby. I wake up speaking. Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello. No, no, no, I'm like saying a thing, but here's the weird part is like, and like sometimes I'll like sit up. Like I'm like, it's like I'm living the dream in real life. Yeah.

And I'll say something, but I'm weirdly immediately conscious that I am in my bedroom and Janie is there sleeping. And so I speak out loud, but I do it in like a quiet voice. What did you say? And then I sort of wake up all the way. Well, it'll just be, it's mundane things.

It's like, I'm talking to somebody in the dream. The pickles in the jar. And then I'll wait. That's not mundane to me. Those pickles need to be in that jar. The door is locked. Yeah, it's like shit like that. Yeah.

Like, thank you for coming. I'll see you later. Like, whatever. That's what you say to Jamie after sex. Scott? I'll see you later. I do say I'll see you later. I say that to her every time.

See you later. I'll see you later. Oh my God. Can we talk about the show last night? Yes, last night I met someone I had met before. Okay. Competitive. I knew he was gonna say this.

I get very competitive. We did a show called Comedian Feud. Canadian Feud. Which was Family Feud with teams of comedians. I love games and I do get very competitive. I think that's the fun of games, personally. Oh, I think the games are just fun.

Oh. I knew Paul was getting annoyed by me. I was not annoyed. You were not. I was not annoyed. I was never annoyed. Good. Good. Good. I was I kind of because you you you displayed it early on like backstage. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, oh, okay. Yeah. And it was fun watching you try to not appear competitive like you would like on your you were trying to control your face. I did try to pull it back a few times because I want everyone to be competitive. I like the energy when people are all wanting to win.

But then I was like, oh. But when you're doing a comedy show, like we found this out with the match games that we were doing. When you're doing the comedy show, like three quarters of the comedians will not care at all. Totally. And only care about if they're getting laughs.

Oh, totally. They don't care about gameplay. I felt like everybody cared. I felt like people were trying. No, people didn't want to win, that don't care about gameplay. I felt like everybody cared. I felt like people were trying. People didn't want to win, but I have many examples in my life of getting very competitive,

especially with people I don't really know, and that's like too much. I think it's really fun, but I later will wonder, oh, did they think that was annoying? Because I don't care in the moment, and I just like having fun. To me, that is like,

the joy of the game is like, I wanna beat you. Right, well that makes fun of me for the way I play, what is it called? Exploding kittens? No, no, that's just fun. But what's the one where, you know, like there's- Scrabble or Boggle.

Oh, mafia. Yeah, mafia, yeah. Because like I'm super competitive to the point where I will, if I'm not mafia, I will say, look, here's the thing, I'm never gonna lie to you. I am not mafia. And if I am mafia, I promise to say I'm mafia. And then I'll actually do it when I'm mafia.

I'll go, guys, I got mafia. I think you did when we were in Hawaii. Nora did it for sure. Oh yeah. That was so funny. But I will, but see, I'll do... Nora did not seem to be competitive. She was like once out of the game. My thing is I'd rather, like I don't,

I get so competitive, I'll just like lie to take everyone down. Like in a game like that, like I'm like, I know that he's in the mafia because I saw this and it's like not true at all. Like I'll just like... Right. There's, there really is nothing more satisfying than when...

I saw him open his eyes. When you allude being named mafia and you've been mafia the whole time and everyone always votes each other out, there's nothing more satisfying. There's nothing like it, folks. I discovered on that trip that I like to be the narrator of the thing. It's really fun. I think it's really fun, but also to watch it being played is more fun to me than playing.

Oh, that makes total sense. And then you have the bird's eye view of who's what and what happens. Like I kind of like when I get eliminated early and then I can watch everybody else and I have the knowledge of who's who. It's fun. Can we talk about some of the answers on Family Feud?

Because Family Feud is like the funniest show in like they poll 100 people and get the most popular answers and the answers are always so weird. But also what's funny is that sometimes the answer has only been said by four people or something. It's like, well, that's not really an answer. But the question, well, there were a couple

that I thought were really fun. One was what's something you don't want to find in your lover or your spouse's pocket? Poop. Well, okay. Not on there. Which is weird because I would not like that. What's your next guess?

If you had to guess the number one thing. Okay, like condom. Yeah, that was number one. Condom was up there. Which I did guess. Yeah. Condom, phone number. Which I did guess.

It was the number one answer. Someone else's phone number. Yeah, that was up there. That was up there. I guessed that. That was the number one answer. Someone else's phone number. Yep, that was up there. I guess that, that was the number two answer. Yeah, there you go. And that's great. Pocket rocket. It's worth saying. Pocket rocket. Excuse you. But then there were some that were like so weird.

So Stephanie Allen was on my team and she's so funny. And she always has a different perspective on things than anyone else. You never know what she's going to say. That's why I think she's like one of the funniest people, but in the game, so then it was her turn and she's like trash gum wrappers. Trash gum wrappers. No, she was like gum wrappers, tissue, paper.

Then they said you have to get more specific and she went, any kind of trash. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's even less specific. And then on the, on the, You're whitening out now. And that didn't count, that got an X, but then on the leaderboard or whatever, out there. And that didn't count. That got an X.

But then on the leaderboard or whatever, or whatever it's called, scoreboard, there was a category that basically was, it was like used tissue or something. Which I was like, why don't you want to... So she said tissue? No, she didn't say tissue. I fucked up. You fucked up. But why would someone not want to find a used tissue?

I mean, it's like, I guess it's annoying in the laundry. Well, I guess it's just gross. Like it's like used as a condom. Yeah. Or a jizz rag. No, I think... But why in the laundry. Well, I guess it's just gross. Like it's used as a condom? Yeah. Or a jizz rag. No, I think that person is like, you know, imagining a universe where they're going through people's pockets to take stuff out of there

to put it in the laundry or something like that. And it's like, oh, god, I got a gross used tissue on my hand. A tissue, exactly. You know what I mean? So it's just people interpreting the question. Then later, my team played against an audience team and the question was- We were busy being loud backstage during that portion.

Yeah, which I'm sure was actually more fun possibly. It was a lot of fun, but I was kind of thinking while we were back there, like, I bet they can hear us out there. I actually didn't notice that. Janie in the audience said we could hear you guys. Oh, well I didn't notice it. I was too busy focusing on the game, but the team- And losing to the audience. we could hear you guys. Oh, well, I didn't notice it. You stupid. I was too busy focusing on the game, but the key.

And losing to the audience. I did lose. That time I did. That time I did. But the question was, what's something you say to your lover that you also say to your dog? Oh, um, sits, Neil. Open your mouth.

I'll see you later. Thanks for coming. Well, the guy, the guy on the other team was the first one to gas and he said, good girl. And then that was number one. Good girl. Good boy. And then our team said, come. And it was on there. I was like, this is sick. This is sickness. But you know what River Butcher made an interesting point which I never thought about it this way before that the poll might not be I'm gonna ask you a question you just give me the answer that comes to your mind. It might be like

a multiple-choice thing where they write down a bunch of things and then say which of these do you think is... I don't think it's that. No, no, no. You don't think so? No. Because some of these things are fucking weird. Because you know why it doesn't add up to a hundred all the time is because like they don't accept any answers that's just like either one or two people saying something. So there are, you know, there are times when someone just says like one person says something crazy and they don't, you know, put it. So that's why I believe it's not multiple choice.

But okay, so like for the what don't you want to find in people, but like the dog thing, nobody's saying good girl. I think a hundred people say that when they talk. Good girl. Good girl, good boy, good girl. But the- You want a treat?

That was on there too. It said want treat. No one says that. It said want treat. No one says that. It said hungry slash want to treat question mark. That's fucking ridiculous. The other thing they do is if there are enough similar ones, they combine them into one thing. So it's not the wording.

But I mean, it's like asking your partner if they're hungry is not the same thing as asking a dog if they want a treat. But if your partner is wearing a collar and a leash and you only see the bottom of the bone. Keep talking. Well, also you want a treat is sometimes you can say it like dessert, like, hey, you want a treat tonight?

No, no. It's not? No one has ever said that. I don't think people are saying that to other human beings. Do you want a treat? I'm going to say it every day to cool off now. To make it true? No, my theory. And then you will crumble to dust.

I go like this, want treat? Want treat? Hungry? Hungry? Want treat? Want treat? What were the other ones that you said you were? Oh, like the dogs that they step on the little buttons

to go to bed? One was I love you, and one was you're so cute. Go to bed. Those are the only two that work. Those make sense, yeah. Go to bed. Go to bed. We say that, I mean not, I don't say it all that much to cool off. You say go to bed. Go to bed. You're tired and you're not having fun anymore. We say it to our dogs. Do you want to go outside and pee? That's what you say? No, I'm asking you right now. Oh yeah.

You wanna go to the park? Together? Do you wanna go to the park? Yeah, that's something that you say to both. Absolutely. Do you wanna go to the park? I always say it to, I always say these things to both. But then I take Jamie to the vet.

Yeah. And they chop off her balls. Ah, good stuff. Anyway, it was really fun. It was really fun. I could have played that all night. And J'Keece is great. I could have played all night. Yeah, J'Keece Neal, who hosted and put it together, he's terrific.

Laura and I got to assemble our teams. I had Beth Stelling, Otsco, Solomon Giorgio, River Butcher, and that's it because I'm the number five. I was panicking that I forgot somebody. And I had Joey Greer, Stephanie Allen, Arden Marine, and Lauren Ashley Smith, and it was very, very fun. It was a fun group of people.

It was a great group. And I also, yeah, you mentioned that Solomon said we should be playing games more. We should be doing stuff like this more. Like, comedians should be doing more stuff like this. The only thing is, it was very involved. Like, I was like, there was a lot of preparation for this game. Well, the match game stuff we used to do, yeah, it was very involved.

Jimmy had to do the brunt of the work. Jimmy Pardo hosted. But also... You know, it's always somebody's got to do that, but not us. As long as I don't have to do it, I want to show up for sure, yeah. I think we should be doing it all the time, and somebody should be responsible for it. We should do the comedian jeopardy. Interesting.

They would really have to dumb down the questions with me. Yeah, for you, I guess. No! But I mean, no, because you probably want the questions to be able to be setups for like jokes a bit more too because it'd have to be funny. Yeah. Like you'd have to blow some of your answers on joking.

What are the games that would be best suited to comedy? This I thought was good, Family Feud, because there's room around Hollywood Squares, of course. The way, the way- I don't wanna build that set though. Hollywood, or Family Feud is so funny with like how you're getting ready to say your answer, and the answers are dumb, so it's like,

that's naturally funny, and then you can riff off of that before you see the answer. Yes, there's a lot of room around the gameplay to have fun. Well, Hollywood Squares and Match Game are both the same where you can say a joke answer first and then go, no, no, no, my real answer is yes, to help the person actually win. We should do Hollywood Squares.

And then how do we get in the squares? We could do it at my place where everyone just like, it's three stories and everyone just yells out one window. That sounds cute. That actually would be really fun. Do you know what? We should market this. And if you want us to come to your house,

if you have a house that's appropriate for this, we will come to your house. If you have a three story house. You need nine windows. With nine windows. Or a garage can be one of them. Or no, the outside, you can sit on the floor, you can sit on the ground outside

and then two windows above. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. They just have to be higher than someone sitting down. If you want us to come, we'll do it for free. Look, we'll travel anywhere for free. We'll pay for travel. Of course. On that set, where was the host and the contestants?

They were like off to the side. Were they up? Were they raised up? A little bit, but not. Were they like in the middle, with the middle of the? No, no, they were kind of to the side. Yeah. Were they up? Were they raised up? A little bit. Were they like in the middle level with the middle of the? No, no. They were kind of level with the bottom level. Hmm. Wild. Wild stuff. When I think about it, it makes me crazy.

It would be very strange if they were as high as the top level. Yeah. Looking down at you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it tomorrow actually I recently played a hundred thousand dollar pyramid which will be airing at some point yes I'm so jealous

because that's the one show that I've wanted to go on forever and they ask you and they never ask me because I am not in movies that one could be very easy that one could work because it's yeah you just need the titles of the thing. Yeah. Someone could easily make that up. Oh, we have the board game too that we would do it with. Oh. Yeah, the home game as they used to call it.

We used to have that when I was a kid. But I think you need the screen with the things so that the audience can watch the titles and then when you're playing the game and they can only see one side, you know? Yeah, and you need somebody going, huh, huh, huh, what is, huh, that's the time ticking down. Yeah see one side, you know? Yeah. And you need somebody going, huh? Huh? Huh? What is it? That's the time ticking down. Oh, yeah. Can you be the clock?

I thought that was a famous clip from the hundred thousand dollars of someone giving a clue, just going, huh? Yeah. I was like, I don't know. This reference, but I'm enjoying it for every category. Noises. I would like to watch you do that, though. Very seriously. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Would you be able to not laugh? Yeah. Cool. That's impressive.

I wouldn't. Jimmy Pardo and I used to tape the pyramid and then he would face, Tape the pyramid. I thought your hand was Kevin's hand. Jimmy you don't like it. And he would have his back to the TV and I would have it on mute.

And I would like do the clues one at a time and try to, you know, and we would just practice for the day that we ended up on pyramid and neither of us. Well, cause when you do it, they do a practice round with you in like a little, you know, room beforehand. And it was, that was so fun. How little?

It was really small. It's at the airport, right? Like where they interrogate people? Yeah, they kept, I kept saying like, this is a game show, right? Oh, he shut the fuck up. Can I put my clothes back on? Things I want to put back on, my clothes.

I'll wear clothes for the actual show, right? Good stuff. I'm, I can't wait to see you on the pyramid. You've been on millionaire. I would love to do that. You've been on pyramid. I've been on pyramid. I literally said to my agent, when I got off the comedy bang bang TV show,

they were like, okay, you're finally available to do stuff. What kind of TV shows do you want to do? I said, can you just get me on beer, man? Yeah. I mean, get on. No, I can't get on. All right, I'm sorry. Who hosts, oh, Michael Strahan, you said.

Yeah, he was great. He's very nice. And I was thinking like, he's a host on like, or he was on Kelly and Michael for a while. And I'm like, that prepares you for anything. Yeah, you can roll with anything. I mean, really. You can deal with that shit. Cause you're talking live on TV every morning.

About nothing. To the most boring people. I actually, okay, I guess, you know what? So sue me, I enjoy that kind of program. Sue me, sue me. I'll see you in court. Your honor. You can't wait for discovery, can you, Paul?

Oh my God, can't wait. All the secrets that you keep. Is anybody watching the staircase? I haven't started yet, but I'm really excited. My friend had made up on it. I've never seen the original either. Honestly. Oh, I'm gonna check out that makeup.

Yeah. Skip the fucking thing and just watch the original. Watch the original, yeah. Yeah, nothing is more compelling than that. Well, you haven't seen the original? Nothing is more compelling. No, I just said that. No, I know.

Guess what he told me. You have to watch that. But I do want to watch the show because I think I haven't watched the original in a long time. So I'm excited. The docu-series is so good. It's so good. Colin Firth is doing a better job than I thought he would.

What? I think they put it on Netflix. HBO mocks. Whatever man. It's available I'm trying whatever man Can I say this this came up last night the gall of them to make that Joe versus Carol thing When it's like so wait he fights a volcano and then Carol. Yeah Spoiler he wins against the thing. Yeah the dramatization of it. Oh, no one watched it It's like what what were you guys thinking?

They greenlit it when it was like, everyone was talking about that for that month. Yeah, it came out, right? Or they started making it right when it was super popular. We all watched it, then we all regretted watching it, and we agreed we would not talk about it again. The one I liked though was the, all I can think of is Dragon Ball Z.

What's the skateboarding one? Dragon Ball Z. What is it? Z-train. Dogtown and Z-Boys? Dogtown and Z-Boys. I saw the fictionalized version of that first and thought it was great and then went back and watched the documentary and thought that was great too and I was like, they're equally good but then people who did the reverse were like, what's the point of this? That's kind of the camp that I'm in. You're so camp.

I am so camp. The definition of camp? It's simoil. The trend of them just making a dramatized version of all these true crime things just feels like, it's not what, I don't get what we're doing. It's fun to see people dress up though, isn't it? I think that's worn off, for me anyway. Really?

It's like the novelty of seeing people play these real life people is like, I'm over it. What about Sinatra in the offer? I'm actually enjoying the offer. I caught up on it, Paul and I were texting because I knew he was watching it and I was 20 minutes in going, this is terrible, right? And Paul was like, no, I like it. So I kept it with it. Oh, okay. I haven't seen that. But the Sinatra guy is ludicrous.

He was, there are so many people in this thing that were in Band of Brothers that it has to be intentional. Okay, it has Ed and B. Oh, okay, I haven't seen that. And, but the Sinatra guy is ludicrous. There are so many people in this thing that were in Band of Brothers that it has to be intentional. Okay, it has to be like. It has to be intentional. Couldn't they have gotten Conor Ratliff in there? Ratliff, Ratliff. Ratliff.

Conor Ratliff. Hey, I'm Sinatra, get outta here. I don't like you making this movie about me, chum. That was a really good impression. That's of the guy on the offer. I thought it was Connor if he was on the show. No, no, no. I didn't know where it was going from. Yeah, they should have had Connor at La Vesta Nautra. He has blue eyes. It would have been exactly like the guy they had. From dead eyes to blue eyes.

Oh God, we have to take a break. We'll be right back. I don't care. Hey, today's episode is sponsored by Acorns. Oh, awesome. No, no, I know what you're thinking. Yeah, the little nuts that squirrels. Yes, because you love squirrels so much and you eat like them. No. What is Acorns?

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We're back talking about secrets, by the way. We've talked about recurring dreams before, right? Yes, I've been having those, again, the same house that I'm trying to flip and all that. I've been having them lately about, before I learned to drive, I rode my bike all over LA. Yeah, classic story of you riding on the sidewalk. Cornshark story.

That's right. What was it again? And I had a basket with a dog in it. Right? And- What was the story again? You almost hit someone. We've already told the story.

On this podcast? No. Yes, we have. Tell it to me again. I wanna hear it, Dad. Tell it again. We've already told the story on this podcast. No I want to hear it dad I was riding my bicycle my bicycle in the street when this story happened to me It's not old man's feet. Am I the old man? You look down Oh no those are my feet

Of course I ride my bike barefoot You look down for the first time. Oh no, those are my feet. Hey, my feet. Of course I ride my bike barefoot. I'm famous for it. That hurts. I was, do you ever have to like move your car and you don't put shoes on? And it feels very weird. Do an errand without shoes? No, that's illegal.

Where are you going? Are you just living in the beach? Just to pick something up at someone's house or something like that. And you're just driving like a mile or whatever. That's too far to go. That's honestly crazy. That's too far to go. Because I always think about it because I'm like,

even if I'm just wearing sandals, I'm like, what if I get arrested for whatever reason? Then I have to go to jail with sandals. Sandals are better than no shoes. Have you ever left the house without your driver's license? And it feels very dangerous. I always feel like it's crazy. And I feel like Mike's always like, oh, it's not that bad. And I. I always feel like it's crazy and I feel like Mike's always like, oh, it's not that we would do.

I'm like, no, that's like, this is gonna be the time when you need it. I mean, I didn't have one for years. This is the thing that says you're allowed to do this. You'd just be like, oh yeah, I don't have it on me. They go, no, you don't care, get it next time. So yeah, it's something to do. Wow, I always feel like I need to.

Well, we are all white here, so this is a warning. Yeah. So stay in your car, put your hands anywhere you like. So you were riding a bike. So you were riding a bike, you saw some guy. No. I saw a guy with little feet. When I was riding down the street. I was, I was on Franklin.

Um, I was headed towards the UCB I think. Beautiful town. And as I was pedaling along on the sidewalk, somebody was coming out of a doorway on the street with a little dog and they like kind of, I was going a little too fast and they were coming out very fast. I'm going to get you and your lean dog. I fucking, ignoring, I fucking slammed on the brakes and like, you know, Oh no. And this, this was a fruit stand. Don't crash into this window. This guy, those two guys, oh, they're still mad at me.

And I just spilled it. So this young woman with her dog, she yelled at me and said, you're not allowed to drive. You're not allowed to ride your bike on a sidewalk. And I fucking stopped and I said, you're not allowed to walk around with your dog off the leash. And then she went, are you pulling up? I love doing this.

We covered. I love this story because I forgot how it went. Yeah. That's the last time I'm telling you. By the way, I thought that you also, like, what I remember from the original telling was that you rode a little bit and then turned around and came back and yelled at her. Was that not the case? No, there's, I like kept going and then she yelled that and I stopped and-

And then you came back to her? Yeah. Great. No, I yelled. I didn't turn around and cycle back to her. Just like use your feet on the sidewalk. I just go to your feet on the sidewalk, like just get your bike forward. And you're not allowed to have a dog on the leash. Get a rope like that dog.

When I see people walking their dog without leash on Franklin and stuff like that. It's stressful. It's so stressful. And I was pulling in here the other day, just the other day. And I started to make the turn into the parking lot and there was a dog off leash

and the dog started coming to the car and I like just put on the brakes. Two minutes later. Sorry, I was drinking. Dog on leash. And the owner looked at me like I was crazy for stopping in the middle of the street in case the dog went into.

In the middle of the street. You know, like. You don't know what he's gonna do. My dog doesn't do that. You're crazy for stopping in the street. Do do, do do. When my dog is of the street. You know, like, my dog doesn't do that. You're crazy for stopping in the street. Do do do do do. When my dog is off the leash. We did it.

We have to end the podcast right now. I think that was really good. We're never gonna beat it. Thank you for coming guys. See you later. Thank you for listening. Really good. Oh, yo, yo, yo.

Wait, what the fuck? Oh, so my recurring dream now. Oh my fucking good gracious. Is that I am, because my bike was only, so my recurring dream now. Oh my fucking good gracious. Because my bike was only, it was a cruiser bike. It didn't have any speed, so it was really fun to ride around, but when I had to go back home, it was all uphill because I lived in Beachwood Canyon.

Stupid. So you, so all, so. This is now. My recurring. This is your past. That was my past. And my recurring dream is I am far from home. Oh.

I have to not only ride my bike home. But it's all uphill. And I'm like carrying stuff. Oh no. It's incredibly stressful. And then this is a new one that I've been having lately where I am in. I'm at a studio, like one of the studios in town, and I can't get out. Like every turn I take is not the exit of the studio.

Last night, the one I had, it was so fucking stressful where there were multiple things stopping me along the way. Like somebody I got to fill out some kind of form or something like that. Oh yeah, but you couldn't remember the numbers, right? Yeah, it was maddening. It was maddening. I've now had two stress dreams about the tour.

That hasn't started yet? That hasn't started yet. One is- You announced it? One was yes, and one was, oh, I haven't booked anyone for tonight's show. I have no guess. And then the other one was, oh, no, I haven't recorded enough podcasts before I leave.

That's stressful stuff. That's stressful stuff, man. And relatable. Isn't it relatable to all of you people out there? Do you have like repetitive stress streams? Of course I do. I also often have the actor's nightmare. Yes, of course.

Ah, yes. I had a crazy one where it was basically Hamilton and I was in it and I was so panicked. What's weird about when I have that these days is before it was like, oh shit, I haven't gotten the script yet. Okay, we'll keep the script off stage. I'll go take peeks in between.

And now it's just like, I have that dream sometimes. It's like, oh, the script isn't here, and I go, eh, it'll be fine. Like, well, like, I'll just improv around it. Yeah, that'll be really good in the show. No, but, but. But you feel that way. But I feel that way in the dream of like,

I don't need to stress about this. That's nice, that means something positive, I'm sure. I've been having dreams where they're just so vivid that I wanna go back into them, and like today I was zoning out and Mike was like are you depressed and I was like no I'm actually thinking about my dream and wishing that I was inside it which maybe is depressing but it sounds good to me. That sounds horrible. I just liked my dream. I hate this reality. Hey are you depressed? I saw you looking off into space are you depressed? One of those things you say to your dog and your partner. And I put in my dream, I had this like elaborate sort of basement den in my house and it was

like carpeted and like had cool stairs. This is a sign, you gotta build it. I need it. And I was just like, I liked being in it. And then I was picturing myself being in it. I had a dream like that where it was a stage that had all this, it had like trees and greenery growing out of it and it looked so cool. And I woke up and I was like, I want it to be real so bad.

Yeah. I hate when stuff's not real that you picture in your mind. I don't like when I make a thing up and it's not real. I agree. Yeah. A lot of people feel that way. What I noticed this morning trying to get back to sleep is that I can't, if I pretend to be someone else. I thought you were going to say if I pretend to be asleep.

Cool up, senses it. No, if I pretend, if like, if I'll sit there thinking about things that I'm doing or like things that I'm supposed to do or whatever, I can never go back to sleep because it stresses me out and my heart starts to race. But if I think of a movie that I saw the night before or something and pretend I'm the person and just even do the scenes that were in the movie,

I will suddenly start to dream and those scenes will blend into dreams and stuff like that. So it's a way to calm myself down. This is almost like lucid dreaming, it sounds like. You can turn the lights on and see if it's real in your dream, you know? I'm definitely not lucid in it. It's just a way to get me back to sleep

where I'm not thinking about myself. Does heartbreak feel good in a place like that? It does, yes. Somehow. So if I were to pretend to be her and go like, okay, I'm about to film. Oh, you don't know. What are you talking about?

Are you the person she broke up with? What? Who? Nicole Kidman? What about her? She's been talking about heartbreak feeling good in theaters. What? Got it, I'm caught up.

But if I were to be like, God, I can't, I gotta stop thinking about my own troubles. I'll go like, okay. What is that? I don't know, but it's been something I've been kicking for the last fucking half hour. It's like a foot rest. Is it a foot rest? Looks like a foot rest.

Why would someone want that? I'm curious. Oh my God, is this what a squatty potty is? Anything is a squatty potty if you put your feet up on it. A bunch of books. I have a squatty potty and let me just tell ya. Hey, can I tell you something, speaking of a bunch of books. I have a squatty potty and let me just say yeah, it's good Hey, can I tell you something speaking of a bunch of books? Yeah, the Bible I

Did it I found you guys Can't read is this a key. They don't have the same cover. That's no I bought two of those books You must give them back. I couldn't tell if they were different like textbooks one seems to be No, I bought two of those books. You must give them back to me. Well, I couldn't tell if they were different. They're like textbooks. One seems to be flatter than the other. I have to distribute these to my other podcasts as well.

This is like the app that Lena Dunham and was his name tried to start. Like the what? There was an app that Lena Dunham and the guy from- BJ Novak. Yeah, tried to start. Where it was lists. It was called lists.

Yes. And he would just do, cause this just said like- It was like homework, like a homework application. It said like, it's just like someone's a homework application. Like, um, okay. 15 most memorable articles ever insured. This is literally why they made that up. I bet you a million dollars. Now, of course, this is what it smells.

Of course I've inscribed these books to you both. It smells so weird. Okay, hold on. 23290. No, I didn't write that. Dear Lauren, please read every word of this book and think of me with every single word. Love, PFT. Here's mine.

Dear Scott, how are you? Love, PFT. Okay. Associate editor, Fern Bryant Fadness. Fadness. Assistant editors. Wait, listen, look at how Elizabeth is spelled. Listen to this, it's really crazy. Get a load of this.

E-L-I-Z, so far so good. Yeah. E-B-E-Z. So far so good. Yeah. E-B-E-T-H-E. What, E-L-I-Z-B? Why are there so many? Okay, now bear in mind, this is 1977. What do you think the most, the most memorable, memorable? That's not really, what do you think

is the most expensive thing ever insured? Is this Family Feud? Is it Betty Grable's legs? There are legs on this list, but that's number four. I would say- Legs of Fred Astaire. The hands, the hands of- Laura Mars.

A famous surgeon. The ass of J.Lo. This is in 1977. No, Scott. She was just born and they just- That's gross. Put this ass in bronze. Hey!

The San Francisco Oakland Bay Bridge for $40 million! So I'm like, okay, Gene Kelly's 11 greatest dancers of the past. What? Meaning he picked these dancers? Yes, I forgot that some of these were curated by celebrities or whatever. Now that's cool. Did this Gene Kelly pick these dancers of the most famous dancers in film history? Gene Kelly came off the Broadway stage at 30 to star in such musical

hits as anchors away, the pirate singing in the rain and American in Paris and Brigadoon. He also directed numerous films among them. Gee, Joe and Hello Dolly. He received, I don't know, G.I. G.L.E. G.I-G-O-T. Gee-jo. He received a special award for his innovative contributions to the dance in movies. One, Salome.

Two, Master Juba. Three, Isadora Duncan. Four, Nijinsky. All right, here's a, here's, here's a better list. 12 most commonly used words in written English. The. Number one with a bullet. Oh!

With the bullet. Number three. Is. Number seven. Are. Not on the list. What? Is what on the list? One? Is what on the list?

One? What? What? Who? Huh? What's number two? Number two is of. And then number four.

I feel like this is making the book sound boring. Number four is a little word known as, the seven greatest numbers from one to seven. Number one. 38. Four. 18 drinks named after people or peoples. The Shirley Temple, of course.

The dirty Shirley is the drink of the summer, from what I've heard. Shirley Temple's not on there. I've read that. I did read that as well. Shirley Temple's not on there? No, no, no. The two of the Tom Collins?

Who the fuck could be on there? We got Tom Collins. Oh, of course Tom. That's number 18. Harvey Wallbanger. Was there a real Harvey wallbanger Real Harvey wall being so we got the Alexander we got the Benedictine we got the Bloody Mary We got bourbon Bronx cocktail Dom Perignon Gibson gimlet gin Ricky grog Harvey wallbanger. Sorry to tell you Oh, wow kick a poo. Kick a boo joy juice. Whoa, that's a fun name Manhattan cocktail martini Mickey Finn Mickey Finn, Rob Roy, Scotch and Tom Collins.

Tom Collins is really low on this. For a drink that everyone drinks now. Okay, here's 10 tough tongue twisters. Yeah, but they didn't know that then. Other than Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. Number one, the toughest I guess, or just a 10 tough. The sixth six, wait, the sixth sick sheep. Focus, focus. Sixth sheep.

What? Start over. The sixth. Start over. You can't even read it. Slow. The sixth sick sheep. Sixth sheep.

Start over. Why? I didn't understand. Wait over. Six. Why? I didn't understand. Wait, can I do one? Ayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayay Robert Downey Jr. Robert Downey Jr. Robert Downey Jr. Robert Downey Jr. Robert Downey Jr. Robert Downey Jr. Robert Downey Jr. Robert Downey Jr.

Where you only see his legs. The sinking steamer sunk. The sinking steamer sunk. The sinking steamer sunk. The sinking steamer sunk. The sinking steamer sunk. The sinking steamer sunk. The sinking steamer sunk.

The sinking steamer sunk. The sinking steamer sunk. The sinking steamer sunk. The sinking steamer sunk. The sinking steamer sunk. The sinking steamer sunk. The sinking steamer sunk. The sinking steamer sunk.

The sinking steamer sunk. The sinking steamer sunk. The sinking steamer sunk. The sinking steamer sunk. The sinking steamer sunk. If a three-month truce is a truce and a truth is a truce and a truce is a three-month truce is the truth of a truce and truth of a three-month truce. Moses supposes it's a rose. What page are you on? And let's see if the pages match up. 161. No, that's too bad. If you stick a stock of liquor in your locker, is it slick to stick a lock upon your stock?

Or some joker who is slickers going to trick you of your liquor if you fail to lock your liquor with a lock? That one's easy actually. That one's pretty easy. I love that one. I'm going to say that before everything I ever do. This is shocking. Well, I guess this was 1974.

But 10 countries. 10 black people that are okay. 10 countries were the highest percent of men and women lived to be 85 years old. Oh, I hope it's my country. You and the whole sweet land of liberty. The numbers are crazy low and it's like for men they're really low and for women they're much higher So like it says for men the top city the top country is Puerto Rico 21.6 percent of men live to be 85 but on the women's list it's all in the 30 percent

But like only teen percents in these men's categories Tell us tell us Puerto Rico Iceland Albania Sweden Norway Netherlands Denmark Canada Israel Greece for women It's Puerto Rico Canada Canada, Sweden, Netherlands, Norway, France, US, Denmark, Sweden, Hong Kong, Berlin. That's too low, that would be 85. But this is 1974, it's like things have changed so much, I would say the percentage has to be way higher now. Or higher, yeah, you're right.

Higher, lower, whatever you want. Listen to this one, Peter Quinell's 10 favorite dinner guests from all history. Who's Peter Quinell? Okay, well, they tell he tells an eminent English biographer, critic and poet. Peter Quinnell was educated at Bylaw College,

Bylaw Oxford. He edited Cornhill magazine and presently Cornhill magazine. Presently joint editor of History Today. His books are read worldwide. Among them, Byron, The Years of fame, blah, blah, blah. So I guess this is like 10 people he just would want to invite to dinner.

By the way, this is an exclusive, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, for the book of lists. Was he the guy that invented this concept of 10 people for history? But listen to who number one is, John Wilkes. Not the guy you're thinking of. Just a guy.

It's just a different guy? Wait, King Henry VIII's second wife Anne Boleyn had three breasts and wore long sleeves tied her six fingers. I wish I had two dicks for those three breasts. Ew. Jesus Christ. I did see, I did see.

Why the fuck did Knight say that? The six. You saw see? The Six. You saw what? The Six on Broadway. That's like about Henry the Eighth's six wives. Whoa. And they're like, the premise is that they're all pop stars

and they're like competing to be like the number one pop star or whatever. And they sing their story about their like, their peril with him or whatever. It was really fun. But Anne Boland or whatever was in that. Well, I saw Ghost. They didn't mention her three tits or six fingers.

I don't think so. They should have. I saw Ghost which features the song, I'm Henry the Eighth I Am. Yes. And he sang it six times. Interesting. I think.

That's a sign. Sign sign everywhere a sign. Yes. Remember the movie Signs and how stupid it was? But it was a big hit. Signs, yeah. I mean, I thought it was all right. I mean, the whole water thing is so dumb. It's also, he just ripped off A Prayer for Owen Meany, which I will never stop saying. And then he also, his previous movie was all about a guy whose water was the weakness.

So it's like this guy, unbreakable. Water was the weakness. Anytime Bruce Willis fell on a pool, he was like, ah. Oh, I don't remember that. I don't remember that. I don't remember that. I don't remember that. I don't remember that.

I don't remember that. I don't remember that. I don't remember that. I don't remember that. I don't remember that. I don't remember that. I don't remember that. I don't remember that. I don't remember that. I don't remember that. about a guy whose water was the weakness. So it's like this guy, unbreakable. Water was the weakness. Anytime Bruce Willis fell in a pool, he was like, ah. Oh, I don't remember anything about that movie.

Except the ending. What the fuck does this guy have against water? Hey, if you're listening out there, M. Night, tell us why you hate water. We'd like to know. It's just a couple of molecules of hydrogen. How about old takes place on a beach? It's dude. I haven't seen that one. I'm seeing it's it's kind of worth seeing if you're next time you're on a plane Look for it. I thought we might do it for Scott hasn't seen we've talked about

I'm so sorry for you. I know Really sucks. I've got to watch these a terrible movie tonight. Oh boy. Which one can you say? I can't say because it's down the line a bit. I'm trying to recall. Put it in the chat. I'll put it with my girlfriend. Her name's Sloane and yes, she's my girlfriend. I'm Mr. Rooney. I'm the king of the hot dog, king of Chicago.

Time to go to school tomorrow. I'm sick again. My name's Cameron. I'm depressed. I guess I gotta get dressed. I'll wear my hockey jersey as we go to the museum. I like to see some paintings and that's the place you see them. I think Ferris is a very good guy, but I sometimes doubt, does he have eye in mind for good things?

I don't know. The car is going through the window. My dad, my dad, he's gonna be mad. I probably killed myself if you saw the sequel. The sequel to Ferris Bueller's Day Off in the Future. Succession. I think that your rapping was better than mine. If that's possible. I thought yours was better than mine. If that's possible. I thought yours was better than mine. No.

But I felt really confident today in a way that I never do. Yeah. Remember the rap you did for the Ferns audition? I love that for you. Oh my God, I think I was rapping about Trump. You were rapping about Trump and you couldn't get one line out without laughing. So I got the part.

And Zach was like, I love it. I wish I'd gotten an audition. I would have laughed all the way through it. All right, we have to take a break. We'll be right back. Bye. What if I told you the most important part of your spring cleaning routine is your sock drawer? I would probably go jump in the river

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to someone facing homelessness? That's right. It feels good to buy Bombas because it feels like we're giving back in a way, you know, and you know that that someone out there is going to be matching you with whatever socks you buy. Well, I have to say, you know, it's been made very clear to me that millennials with our ankle socks, we're out. Okay, we need to have crew socks. I have changed all my socks over to crew socks. I have upgraded my sock game.

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Your Next Listen is out November 11th, chapters you can listen to. Your next listen is out November 11th, wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, we're back. And guys, our good friend, KP, Kitchen Patrol himself. Okay. This guy's been on thin ice. Yeah. This guy's been on our ass for the, this guy's been on our ass for the past... He's been on our ass and our shit list. And thin ice, all three. It's like when you go to four corners

and you try to get one hand and one foot in each of the states. Yeah, you try to get one hand and one foot. Hey. Anyway, it's time for a three-chur. It is. A three-chur. It is. A three-chur is a segment where we do at the end.

And this is KP. Okay, so KP, look, if this is your first episode, welcome. We love you. We love all the Freedom listeners. Obviously, KP, yes. But if you're new to the show, KP is a beloved character. If you're a new human being. Hey, happy birthday.

You made a great choice. You made a great human being. Hey, happy birthday. Yeah. What are these? Do you think they want to start listening to this episode? They never heard one? They just put this on? Yeah. Every episode is someone's first and last. Oh.

They don't know it's their last until they realize they haven't listened in a long time. Yeah, exactly. Oh, I thought you were going to say they don't know it's their last because they're going to die. They suddenly die. That's pretty much the only way that someone could stop listening to this podcast. We should do a remake of The Ring or whatever it was where it's the videotape that makes people, but it's a podcast. A ring make? That's a really good idea. Yeah. And it's like three

white guys talking. Can I ask why did the videotape even have to have anything on it? I don't know. You know what I mean? If the act of watching it was what cursed you, why did it just have a still frame that said, you're cursed? Yeah, or like a guy sitting down in front of the camera going, hey, if you're watching this. What were the images? It was like a little girl in a well or something. Oh, wait, what's that?

If you're watching this, you're cursed. You're cursed. Work this chest. Images from the end of the balls. Wasn't it clues as to what they had to solve in order to get out of the precarious situation they were in? I don't remember.

I just remember she crawled out of the TV and it was scary because you're not supposed to be able to do that. I thought there was a well. It was scary. I don't like that. You don't like crawling out of the TV? It scares more. Why don't you crawl out of the TV and see how just fun it is?

Okay, I'll try. What crawled into your TV and died? Anyway, so KP has just, look, if this is your first episode, it's so hard to explain KP. Yeah, there's so much lore. Just to go, you go about, you got to start from the beginning. Yeah, start from episode, season one, episode one.

We didn't talk about him until two episodes ago. No, but it sets it up. I feel like it all leads up to who KP is and why he is. Yeah. But if you don't care, that's also fine. That's totally fine, because we'll catch you up right now. KP's some dude. Hey, guess what?

If you shut this off right now and never listen again, I don't give a fuck. Hey, it doesn't affect me at all. It'll hurt your feelings. Just don't tell us. Paul's lying. So KP sent us this. I lie.

KP sent us something for our Three-Chir file, a submission of... Which is like the X-Files but not scary. Yeah, although it's like one of the funny episodes of the X-Files. Yeah, exactly. Like one that... who wrote those? Charles Nelson Riley? Yeah, the Charles Nelson Riley one, yeah.

Jose Chung from Outer Space? Yeah, exactly. So he sent a three-chir to us and we thought we were reading KP's but we were reading someone else's and then so we we fucked over KP hard. Hard and it was funny. It was funny. It was so funny how hard he got. I felt like I got hung out to dry actually. Why?

Did we throw you under the bus on that one? We're gonna like not do this and then I was like saying we're not gonna do it. You're like yes we are, yes we are, yes we are. And I was like okay I guess we're doing it. You're still mad about this. I'm just bringing it up to explain what's up. Is that true? Is that true?

The problem is that the three of us never speak off mic and so this is where we have to sort this stuff out. We always do, yeah. So anyway, so then the following week we were like, okay, we're gonna do KP's and then we read it and we're like, no, we're not gonna do that because it's bad. No. But KP will not be deterred.

Cause we told KP on that episode, we said, KP, this one needs a little tweak. Needs a little punch up. So KP two, KP's credit. KP two? There's two of them now? KP two! Oh no!

Like Gallagher two. KP squared? Yeah, to his credit, KP, does he give his actual name? Maybe KP is. KP Thomas. Anyway, so he punched it up. I haven't read this. I just saw he punched it up

and we're gonna decide live in the moment whether we're gonna do it or not. Absolutely, let's hear it. Okay, this is junket. There's a timer set for three minutes and eternity when it comes to stuff like this. Truly. Yeah.

Truly. One minute is so long. But we'll see. One player is an aloof Hollywood bad boy slash bad girl doing a press junket for their new movie. Then one player is their stressed out publicist and the third is an entertainment reporter. Ba da da da da da.

Da da da da da. Da. The actor has a silly rumor going around about them. Example. Silly rumor! Tried to grow weed in the jungle at Rainforest Cafe. That would be silly. You're right, KP, you got it. That is silly. That's decided on ahead of time by the reporter and is only known by the publicist and the reporter.

So the actor has no idea what this rumor is. The reporter is slyly trying to get the scoop from the actor, but the publicist is trying to stop them and keep the interview about the movie. The person playing the actor improvises the title, the character, and all the other details of the movie. If the interviewer can slyly get the actor to say the rumor within the three minutes,

they win the big prize, which we gotta decide on the big prize. I'll give this book away. I'm kidding. I'm kidding Paul, I'm kidding. You know what, I think that, I think that, oh my God, he admitted it. I think this is a good improvement but he didn't say what the big prize is

and so I'm saying right now, I don't wanna do it. What if the big prize is we get to meet KP? No. KP, I never want to meet you and if you ever try to meet me it's gonna be bad. If you ever try to meet me on stage Chris Rock style or Dave Chappelle style. What happened with Dave Chappelle? Somebody rushed him on stage? Attacked him at the Hollywood Bowl. With a gun with a knife on it. A gun replica. Oh no, not a knife gun. Yeah, a knife gun. Yeah, shoots darts. But he didn't get hurt, did he? Oh, the person who rushed on stage got hurt. Oh, for sure, no doubt. I didn't see the clip. Nor have I. You saw there was a clip though, right? I did. Yeah. So do we want to? That's just as good as

seeing the clip. Do we want to do this or do we not want to do this? I think, right? I did. Yeah. That's just as good as seeing the clip. Do we wanna do this or do we not wanna do this? I think we need, I think- I think we have to, legally. Legally we have to. We have to do it this week? Nope. Let's just do it. And who's gonna be the actor, who's gonna be the-

I really feel like the thing to do is to kick this down the road. Kick the can down the road for KP? Yeah. It sucks because you talked a long time telling us how to play. Talked a long time. Talked a long time. Talked a long time.

What I think is great is this becomes its own segment before the three-chair. Whether we decide to do KP's thing or not. Exactly. All right, we don't have to do KP's thing. All right. All right, KP, maybe next week. What do you want to do instead?

I don't know. I was given, it was sent to us here, a physical game. Whoa. Oh my God. was given, it was sent to us here, a physical game. Wow. Oh my God. This was sent to us by someone named Xantor the Magician. And this is a game called Conversation the Game. It's a little pack of cards.

And here's how it works. Freedom Boys, enclosed as a game I made with my friends called Conversation the Game. The rules are as follows. Every card has a conversational rule that must be followed. Pick a card, set a timer for two minutes, again, incredibly long amount of time, and either A, hide it from other players

so you follow the rule and they guess your card. Example, Lauren has only asked questions. She's only allowed to speak to other players in the form of a question. When the timer goes off, Scott and Paul try to guess the rule. Okay. Okay, I like it.

Tip, if a card looks like it won't be fun, skip it! I like this already. I like this tip. Put it at the bottom of the deck for later. Here's another way to play. Put it on your forehead, headbands style, so it's in from yourself, but other players follow you

or you guess your own card. I like how they say headbands style now. It's H-E-A-D-B-A-N-D-Z, and then with a little trademark symbol. OK, I like this less. Example, Paul has flirt. Scott and Laura must flirt with him. When the timer goes off, he guesses his own rule. That sounds better than the other one, I have to say.

Yeah, I like that better. And we don't have to do it in a headband, because we don't own any headbands, right? For added fun, players can look through the deck and assign each other cards. Okay, let's try the second one and we'll just put it up to our heads. Longtime listener, first time writer,

love the show, Santor the Magician. Santor the Magician! I can now crumple this up and throw it away. Are you sure? Okay. Yeah. By the way, we got this a long time ago, speaking of gifts from listeners, and then the pandemic happened so we couldn't play games in person, even when we. By the way, we got this a long time ago, speaking of gifts from listeners, and then the pandemic happened,

so we couldn't play games in person, even when we were in the backyard, we couldn't do it. Yeah, true. Yeah. Okay. So we're, oh no, now you gotta unwrap. Oh no, they're already unwrapped. Oh, you got scared. I previously unwrapped. Previously on 3Dim. I took the liberty of preparing one of these earlier.

We've never met before. All right. All right. So now, are you, just put one up to your head. So I hold it up to my head and then you do the thing leading me into guessing what it is. Yes. I think so, yeah. Do you wanna do it to your head first? No. Okay. Then Lauren will.

I'll do it. You already saw it or no? I already saw it. You know what, it's not a good one. Skip it! It was the first one and I got excited. Are we ready? Yeah. Who's timing it?

Should we do it for two minutes? Should we do it for one minute? Let's do it for two and see how we feel. Okay. Don't hit Lap. I will not hit Coolop. Hit Lap. I will not hit Coolop.

Don't hit Lap. All right. Be da da do do do do do do do do. We take turns, right? Yeah, we take turns. right, ready? Lab! All right. Be da da do do do do do do do do. We take turns, right? Yeah, we take turns. Okay, great, and go. Hey. How are you doing?

I'm good. Where'd you go today? I don't know. I have amnesia. When did you get that hat? Am I a suspect for a murder? No. Are you just making a conversation?

So why are you here today? I mean, we don't usually see you. I guess I just thought today was the day in my schedule. Um... Where were you last night? Am I being interrogated? Am I late? Okay. I have to ask. What's your mother's maiden name?

Bing Bong? What's up, Blake? What's up, Blake? What are the last four digits of your social? Two, seven, two, one. Okay. What's your childhood pet's name? I forgot my password. Right?

You can fly? I'm signing up for American Airlines credit card. No! What was it? Take a look at the card! Sigh heavily once per turn. Okay, this really gives good info as to what it can be. What it can be.

Yeah. Okay, okay. Give me that deck. Did two minutes feel like too long or was that? No, that felt good. I think that was all right. I would never have gotten that. I didn't really get what it could be. I was gonna go over the top with sighing

this last time, but I didn't get to it. Just to really try to bring it home. Okay, I'm not supposed to look at it. No, I was showing you that Paul was doing it. I didn't see it. Oh, oh, Paul's doing it. Oh, I do was showing you that Paul was doing it. Oh, Paul's doing it. Oh, I do now. Oh, got it.

Okay. Now I do. So Paul, I guess what I wanna know is, are you happy with your situation? Yeah, I think so. I think so. It doesn't feel like that to me.

You think I'm unhappy. I do. I mean, could you be happier? Yeah, sure. I don't know. Sometimes when I think about you, I think about what you could be and I worry that you're not happy.

I mean, yeah, I think you could be happier, definitely. Do I think you could be happier? Yes, I do. Do I not think you could be happier, definitely. Do I think you could be happier? Yes, I do. Do I not think you could be happier? No, I don't. I don't think you could be happier. Oh, you don't think that? No, I don't.

Because I do, see? But Paul, what I really wanted you to know when you came out here. I like that I don't have to participate. What? I like that I don't have to. You don't have to. What I really want you to know. You just need to guess, sweetie pie. You need to guess what's going on

because I brought you here for a certain reason. I feel like I know what it is. Okay. Say it. Don't make eye contact. No. No. It's something else, Paul. It's definitely something else

and we need you to know what it is. Is it just shake your head every time you talk? Yes. Yes. It is, which doesn't translate on a podcast. I know, I realized it right when we started. Okay, let's find one that would work on the pod. Move your head while you talk, it says. But we were really going for it.

It was good, it was good. Okay, can you read it with my hand, too? No, I can. You squinted. That's how I read. Okay. Okay. Can you read it? Want me to hand it to you? No, I can. You squinted. That's how I read. Okay. Okay. Isn't it weird how it works?

I can just hold it here. No, no, we know what it is. I honestly, I never thought about this before, but it did help when I squinted to read that. Oh, good. It's so weird. Yeah, because that's called, you can see better. All right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God. Oh my God. God. Oh my God. Did I do that Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. I do that to each other every once in a while. It's always unexpected. It's always funny.

What time, oh my God, this happened over Christmas. I was, we were at her mom's house and I was in the other room and I had to blow my nose. And I'm now at the stage of life where I blow my nose very loudly. And I heard Janie in the other room saying to her mom, did you hear that? And from the other room I went, did you hear that?

Wow. All right. So her mom's really learning what an asshole you are. Oh, she knew. She knew me. She loves me. No, that actually shows how comfortable you are with her. That's very nice. Exactly, I don't give a fuck. I'd walk around nude in front of her. That's weird. No, that actually shows how comfortable you are with her. That's very nice.

Exactly. I don't give a fuck. I'd walk around nude in front of her. That's weird. We're family! Remember what this is? Yeah. Okay.

Let's do it. All right, here we go. Okay, you started the timer. I have to do that. So what did you do right before you fell asleep last night? I was, I played a little Mario Kart. Oh, OK. What's the worst thing you've ever done to another human being? I meant to ask you. Oh,

told a white lie to that's crazy. I forgot to ask something, too. It's been I was just wondering, like what you jerk off to. something too. It's been, I was just wondering like what you jerk off to. I meant to ask you that. I last time I saw you I forgot. Yeah, certain plot lines of Downton Abbey. Certain ones, probably not the newspaper one.

That was boring. Lifetime, what have you put in your rectum? Usually just whatever comes out of it. You put it right back in? Put it right back in, yeah. Because you feel like it fell out. Sure. It's like, oh, I might need that.

This is where this belongs. What was something like a time you just really embarrassed yourself? I mean, just tell us about a really embarrassing thing that happened to you that you couldn't stop thinking about. Well, one time I was walking down a little stoop of three stairs and I, um, tripped on the middle stair and I fell on my little butt. Hmm.

Uh, Oh, right. Um, what does cool up look like naked? Um, like, have you ever seen like those Renaissance pictures of beautiful women naked? Like have you ever seen like those Renaissance pictures of beautiful women naked? So what do you guys do when she's naked? So is this just asking me embarrassing questions? Intrusive questions. I also was like you all you both were

looking up and off to this to the right before you and then in the middle would look at me in the eye. So I was like for a minute, for a minute I thought it was that. Cause we were, we were formulating the questions. Cause we were lying. We're lying, technically we're lying,

which is creation. Good stuff. And let's hear that alarm right now. Almost at the post. Well, that was great. That was fun. Thank you Zoltar, Xantar, Xantor. So now I gotta look at the crumple.

You gotta uncrumple. Uncrumble-e-vable. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Hickory dickory duck. Thank you again, so Xantor. Xantor the magician. Where's Xantor from, I wonder? The planet Irkskabaal. Okay. Thank you for listening, and we're gonna go back into our little holes. Yes, and then six more weeks of winter.

We finally have a phone number, and the phone number is ha-ha-la-input. Ha-ha-la-input. That's right, H-A-H-A-L-A-input. and the phone number is ha ha la input. Ha ha la input. That's right, H-A-H-A-L-A input. Yeah. It's 424-252-4678. Again, that number is 424-252-4678. Ha ha la input.

It's better known as ha ha la input. Ha ha la input. And why are we calling? And why do we have a phone number? We forgot the reason we want a phone number. Please don't call us. We've talked about it so much. Please don't call.

The last thing we want is for you to call that number. Ha-ha-la input. Yeah. Ha-ha-la input. And look, follow us at FreedomUSA on all your social media. And write to us at FreedomUSA at gmail.com. Maybe people could leave three shares on the phone number. I don't know.

Why did we even want it? Why did we want this? I don't remember. I don't know. But hey, if you want to listen to the archives and to ad-free episodes, head on over to Stitcher Premium or cbbworld.com. And for Lauren and for Paul F. Tompkins, good night,

everybody. Yeah, good night and see you in the morning. Good night, Vietnam. Hey everybody. That includes me. And me. Thanks for listening to this week's episode. If you want more of me, Paul and Lauren, and I know you do,

you should join us over on Lemonada Premium on Apple Podcasts. That's what it is. Where subscribers get exclusive access to our 3mium episodes. In each 3mium episode, we take your calls and listen to your voicemails and we answer them. You can send your emails to freedomusa at gmail.com, send your voicemail to hadclaims8.com and listen to your questions, be answered by your pretzel gang on Lemonada Premium. Subscribe to Lemonada Premium today

by clicking on our podcast logo on the Apple Podcast app and then clicking the subscribe button. Who's this guy? I don't know, but I like him. Sir, sir, could you please? I think he's a little crab. Hey, Paul. Sorry about that. Who was that guy? I don't know, but I like him. Sir, sir, could you please? I think he's a little crab. Hey, Paul. Sorry about that, who was that guy?

Someone took your place for a minute. Yeah. That little crab. And we liked him better. Why did that crab do that? Does your office have an evil donut bringer? Do you have a personal canary in a coal mine? Are you guilty of over-apologizing?

I'm Liz Kraft. And I'm Sarah Fain. We're television writers and showrunners and the hosts of Happier in Hollywood, a podcast where we share all the juicy details of our career in television and offer tips and strategies that will help you and us have an even more successful, satisfying, and fun career. Whether you're in Hollywood, Dollywood, or somewhere in between, check out Happier in Hollywood every Thursday from Lemonada Media.