Threedom - Threevisiting: I Hope Everyone's A Mummy

Episode Date: September 2, 2025

Threevisiting on the Tues: Scott, Paul and Lauren talk about what they're doing for Thanksgiving, Paul tells a story that takes us all around the world, Scott briefly touches on some Topics, and they play "Hey Fred Schneider, What Are Ya Doing?" Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Listen ad-free and unlock the THREEMIUM archive on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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He's been convicted of murdering two young women, but suspected of many more. Maybe there's another one in that area. And now, new leads that could solve these cold cases. They could be a victim that we have no idea he killed. Stolen voices of Dull Valley breaks the silence on August 19th. Follow us now so you don't miss an episode. I yelled freedom out loud. I'm going to do it again.

Freedom! I've done it twice, and I think I got one more in me. Freedom! Wowie, Zoe, that's a lot to process. Do you rep- I'm still trying to figure out exactly what they said. Do you remember when we tried to do the theme song live, that one live show that we did.

Yeah, what happened? Boy, it did not work. Why, what happened? I don't remember. You're going to scare Scott away from another live show, which we're always begging him to do. Yes, I think we, maybe we did not properly explain what needed to happen. Oh. Or maybe they started it without telling us. And it just started and went three to them. And then we just, uh, yeah, freedom.

Yeah. Isn't it interesting how you just don't remember some stuff and you just keep going? But isn't it interesting how you do remember some stuff and you keep going? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. What did I I think of the other day that I was like, why do I still remember that? It sounds like you forgot. Yeah, weird. You're free. I think that we should do a live show.

I think so, too. Please. I think so, too. Maybe. What if we did? Fucking yes. Dynasty typewriter. Look, we could do a tour as well, but.

That's a tall order with this. It's a tall order. And by the way, that's why the tour was so jam-packed for the comedy band-a-ture. Full of fun. But it was why we did so many shows and said, because it was like a last-minute thing of like, oh okay the baby's coming okay let's do this tour as soon as we went on tour I feel like we could do like one weekend here

come back for a few weeks one weekend somewhere else no momentum baby we could also quite simply do a live show and stream it and you know have fun and make some money and honestly that sounds great why do you say no I know it's your fucking deal I'm playing hard to get you're a real bitch we've been trying

to get you for a long time well it's very hard I'm going to set the date save the date what is it it's going to be December 31st. No, it's going to be. I'm going to say an Evite to all three of us. It's going to be in the new year.

Mm-hmm. And it's going to be greater than you think. Speaking of holidays, though. I know. I'm pressured to shop as we all are by consumerism. Speaking of holidays. Were we speaking of holiday? It's Thanksgiving.

Yeah, I mentioned New Year's Eve. Oh, you're speaking. It's a holiday. It's Thanksgiving today. Oh, my God. A special Thanksgiving episode of Three Dom. We gather together to sing the Lord's praises. Wow.

That's a deep cut. Yeah. man um what are you doing for this thanksgiving what are you doing today i will say i typically don't celebrate thanksgiving really as a protest against well i do feel now that i agree with that it's mostly been that over the years it hasn't meant that much to me and i've kind of just let it yeah i mean has there ever been a person alive even nowadays who like celebrates thanksgiving of like oh thank god that like this country oh there's some people it's all about family now i stop going home for that holiday and so then Mike and I kind of we like to travel this won't happen

this year but we went to we were in Japan Thanksgiving we were in Germany no we're in Germany and I've been in London on Thanksgiving I like to just be other places yeah but not this year but not this year we're going to just be with Holly it's Holly's second Thanksgiving I don't recall what happened last year um but I'll probably try to cook a little bit did you dress her up like a turkey it's not you know what I like the parade it's it's hard to dress your baby up like Don't dodge the question. Did you dress her up like a turkey? I said I liked the parade.

It's hard to do. What is Lauren? Why are you? What's going on here? I said maybe I'll cook it. I like the parade. Did you accidentally put Holly in the oven thinking it was the turkey? Were you on acid?

And she was so juicy. No, I just don't really care. About things here. It's just not some, and because your family other than... They celebrate and they get together and I always did my home to her life. But I mean, you're Los Angeles. You're with Mike and Holly all the time.

Yeah. And then we had. Two pandemics, Thanksgiving. Very anti-climatic. Climac. Climactic. Yeah, time of it. And I, um, I just probably will, it's going to be low-key. I'm like, maybe we'll, maybe we'll hang out.

You're going to watch Loki? I watch Loki. It's fun. I watch the parade, though. Mike hates parades and I like parade. Nacy's parade is what you're talking. The, I hate parades, but I do watch the parade every. I love to, I love to get up and watch the fucking parade.

What's the deal? What's the deal with the, the Hollywood Christmas parade? Okay. Is Toys for Tots like a weirdo, right-wing? Christian organization. I don't know, but wait, what are you doing for Thanksgiving? Every single person who's on that parade is like Eric Estrada, Dean Kane, like all these like weirdos.

Right. What are you doing for Thanksgiving? It's Emerald's first. Her first. And I don't know that she's going to understand it, but we're going to drill it into her head. She'll probably get it. I think she'll understand and she'll understand the pros and cons. Proz and cons.

She may sit this one out. Yeah. She may say, given what I know. She's like, I just am not ready to make a decision about it. Her grandparents will be there. That's very nice and special. Three of them will be there. Wow.

That's right. Okay. Three full grandparents. I'm hearing you. Yeah. Yeah. In the same room. So that's interesting.

So that's interesting. This has never happened before. The dynamics. They've always missed each other. They've always missed each other to the point where you thought one of them was pretending to be another situation. It was a doubtfire situation. Yeah. was a doubtfire situation.

Have they spent much time together? That would be so weird if your dad dressed up like your mom. I would be. It was like a Mrs. Downfire thing where like you thought you had two parents. Yeah, I think I was Kulab's mom dressing up as one of them or vice versa. I just think it's not that your dad was dressing up as your mom. Yeah, you thought you had two parents, but it had always, ever since you were a kid,

it had been your dad and then your dad leaves the room and dresses up like a mom and comes back in. Just because it's like a two-parent household is more stable. I mean, you could, you could. could get away with it for a while when they're when they're babies with just a wig sure you want to be that elaborate maybe some blush and well i'm saying you like they're so little you don't have to be that elaborate with it yeah but if you want to change your voice can i just say holly was playing with my blush brush today i let her have it but then she was dragging it all over the bathroom floor and the kitchen floor oh goodbye to that brush yeah i was just like this is this is yours now yeah

what do you let you can't let her play with everything right but if she gets fixated on something, is it like... It was sort of like, it's kind of... I was getting ready, so I was kind of like, oh, here, just take this. It's kind of soft, and you're not going to... Painting everything with it, and I'm like, it's just getting all sorts of new bacteria

because I certainly don't wash it enough to begin with. Are you going to let me go play with Mike's gun? I mean, you know, supervise. He talks about that gun all the time. Let's just be very clear. He does not have a gun, and we don't... He says, I keep it in the drunk drawer. Nobody's going to look there.

The drunk door? The drunk drawer. The drunk drawer is a great place to have a gun. Yeah. A drunk, what is you're a drunk drawer? A junk drawer. I know, but I mean, I like the idea, though, of like, this is stuff I throw in there when I'm drunk. I've been using it and I just throw it in there.

And I look at the end of the year. Are you surprised by how many people you know that do have a gun? You know what? I don't, at this point, I don't know how many people that is. I don't know exactly because I know. There's a few people that I definitely know. I'm trying to remember the last time I was surprised where somebody told me I was like, really?

Yeah. I think people should be allowed one and they should not be assault weapons. Well, yeah, obviously. Look, we can all agree. Guns, they're great. And what a great invention and certainly we need them.

I mean, we all agree they go, pew, pew, pew. Could not agree more. I actually disagree. You disagree that they don't go pew-poo? Good job. Were you happy when you were able to imitate a gun? Of course I was.

How did you just do that? Elated. How did you do that? It's where you're like, you're clenching your teeth together and then forcing air out of your larynx, but then something's going on with your tongue. Bill Nye over here. Okay, he's literally the science guy. I remember once in an interview with Gene Gropolo. This guy is really the science guy.

Gene Gronfalo, they asked her like some dumb question. Like, what's the biggest difference between, you know, male comedy and female comedy or something? And she said, I don't really know that there's that much of a difference. I guess men are better at making gun sounds. Hmm. Interesting. That's true. Is it true?

That's honestly my big takeaway from comedy bang bang. Women are just as funny as men, but men make better gun sounds. Yeah. Interesting. Sometimes it's just as simple. Absolutely. Sometimes it's just as simple. What are you doing for things to do?

I do, do you go to Friendsgiving or you go real close in it with Janie? Here's, well, I used to go home for Thanksgiving as well and then stopped that after a while because I was also going on for Christmas. And traveling at that time is that's the problem. We've talked about Thanksgiving's too close to Christmas. Hey, I forget which episode it is. We reorder the holidays. It was brilliant. There's actually what I, I'm thinking about this in kind of a fresh way.

I don't think this is how I thought about this before. We have it this time. Halloween is at the end of October. November has Thanksgiving at the end. Like three weeks until. Then you have Christmas. Actually, my thinking is we need one at the end of every month. That's good and different.

Oh, wait. You want a good one like Halloween Thanksgiving Christmas every month. Yeah. Here's what I was thinking. I really would like that. The other day, because Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas, the two main ones where you say, celebrated all month long.

Like you start at the beginning of the month, you put out decorations or whatever. Yeah, yeah. Thanksgiving is, yeah, maybe you put out a forno plant or whatever. You'll leave up some leaves from your Halloween. Where's your horno plenty? But like St. Patrick's Day.

It's in the middle of the month. The one thing I would say is July, July 4th, you get flags, American flags, quite for maybe a month before. Yeah. Maybe a month before, but then there, yeah, but it's like, I think that one should count as a good one because you got firewood.

if you do it right. You like it because your birthdays buy it. Yeah. But actually, I would say I always loved Fourth of July fireworks, but... Well, let's put it at the end of the month, though, in your plan, because then... You have it to look forward to. Yeah, July 31st. Independence Day is the end of the month.

So those are the four good ones, I think. Okay. But what would be a good holiday? Like, what do you like about these holidays? Like, it's got to be different to it because Halloween, you can't just replicate Halloween of, like, Halloween 2, Season of the Witch. it's got to be like you can't just you can't just I watched the original holiday recently and it was really good

which one the first one the original yeah yeah it's good I had seen it before but I also forgot everything about it and I thought it was fun but what would what would you like to have a holiday have I would like okay well you know what would you like I was just thinking that's a great question I'll play you phrased it I just was in Canada

and they have a new holiday that the government decided called Family Day oh yeah they were like We go a long time without a holiday, so the government said we needed one in here, and now it's family day. I'm like, what, how sweet could something possibly be? What do you do? What are you supposed to do? How cute? I assume you hang it with your family.

Okay. Are there trappings, like, what we're talking about of, like, certain ways to decorate? With a family, there's always a trap or two. Yeah, conversationally. What? John MD. So it's February 20th. And let's see.

February 20, okay, so this is good, although Valentine's Day, should that count and make it February 28th? I actually think it's too close to Valentine's Day to actually. Okay, so, so makes it stupid. I know, we've already gone over this. I love the holiday, but I love all holidays. Okay, on Family Day, many people plan and take part in activities aimed at the whole family. These include visiting art exhibitions, watching movies, skating at outdoor ice rinks, playing board games and taking part in craft activities. Okay, but-

There's got to be some way to decorate it. You know what I mean? There's got to be. And also not all of Canada celebrates. Nearly two thirds of Canadians reside in a province that observes a statutory holiday. Canada, get your shit together. Wait, a statutory holiday that what? On the third Monday.

So it's not February 20th. It's the third Monday. It's always a Monday. That's good. So you can have a three-day weekend. Yeah, I like that. Nice. I like that.

I think it's really thoughtful. Because it's Valentine's Day, you don't get the day off. Like Valentine's Day has the hearts. You should be able to make love. With your whole family. Ew. Not all in the same room. No.

Really nasty. But all the same time. Everyone is in a different room. Valentine's Day has the hearts. St. Patrick's Day has the shamrocks. Thanksgiving is the turkey and all the vegetables. So what are you going to do on Thanksgiving? What do you do on Family Day?

Like you have the... I think you make like... You make like... The little stick figure. You have cards and say you love each other. Tell me about your Thanksgiving. Tell me about your Thanksgiving. I'm just a little curious.

This, we have usually been at home for Thanksgiving. Sometimes we'll be with friends. Sometimes we'll have friends come over to our place. We spent one Thanksgiving alone and it was kind of great. Yeah. That's the thing. Once we discovered how fun it was to just not make any sort of pressure on the situation. We were like, oh, this is awesome.

It was no pressure. We had Thanksgiving food. No, that's great. But it was just the two of us. It's just you. I made a whole turkey just for you. Yeah, we made the same amount that you usually would have for a Thanksgiving dinner for eight people. Yeah.

But this year finds us in Philadelphia. Oh, home of the Phillies. Home of the Phillies. The Eagles, the Flyers, the Union. Mm. To what end are you there? I'll tell you. No.

I just did some shows in, um, uh, Brooklyn, the Bell House, did some varietopias. And I thought, it's the weekend before. I'm just looking. What are you doing? My face was in my turtleneck, and I think I looked. I looked weird. You had your turtleneck, Robbie Williams-style up to your nose.

I had it, Dina Carvey-style, turtle, turtle. And so I decided, well, I haven't been to Philly in a while, so why don't we take the train down? We'll stay in Philly for a week after the show. A week. And do you get a hotel or an Airbnb? What do you look to? hotel.

It's tough because my family is all in the suburbs. Right. But there's not a lot of hotel options out there. Are you going to be spending Thanksgiving, though, with family members? Well, here's the thing. I don't know. You haven't alerted them to the fact that you'll be there. Oh, I have.

Oh. I have. And my sister Ruth, who traditionally has hosted Thanksgiving, has said, oh, I won't be in town. Interesting. And I said, well, maybe we could all get like a dinner, you know, earlier in the week before you go. And she goes, that sounds great. Nobody has said, well, here's what we're doing. Maybe everyone's psyched that Thanksgiving is coming and going without Ruth.

Maybe they are. Making them go over to her house. No, no, no. That's scoff. But maybe everyone's kind of going to do. We get to kind of be free. We get to not do. Right.

Everyone's like, what would my dream day be? I want to go to the movies. I want Chinese food. You only get so many Thanksgivings. So true. You know what I mean? So true, besty. But at the same time, the pressure of having to do one every year is like,

maybe this year they're kind of like let's take one off. They might be, but they should tell me that. Where did Ruth go? She works for a travel agency. She can go anywhere. And she's like, holy shit, what if I did this? She fucking, that's exactly it.

She travels all over the place. Oh, wow. Yeah. I think I could do that. Yeah. It's really cool. That's great. Yeah.

That's actually awesome. Well, that's going to be fun. So you might have like a Philly cheesecake. I might. Or a hoagie. I might. We might go to Wawa for Thanksgiving. I don't know.

It's funny that I don't, I still don't know. I guess I have to really come out and ask them, hey, does anyone have any plans? And they're like, shit. I think I do. So do you text, do you have family text chain? Yes. And so you could ask on that or how would you approach that? I would ask on that.

Or do you call someone personally and ask? Call. Why are you interested in the process? Because I'm curious how people communicate. I would text. We're on a WhatsApp friend. Oh, in crypt is that true? No.

We're on a WhatsApp third because one of my sisters lives in Germany. I love that. Ah, Vundabar. How did she end up living in Germany? Well, I tell you, she moved from Philadelphia. This is my oldest sister, the first in the family. She's like, where are there a lot of Nazis? She could have stayed in America.

Oh, that's true. She moved first from Philadelphia to first to Allentown, where she went to college. It's a bit on a nose if you're listening to this. song. Exactly. That's the sound of metal hitting metal, by the way. That's right. Yeah.

And then she moved from the song, from the song Allen down. Do you know, I had a memory recently of staying at her, staying overnight at her apartment downtown Philadelphia. And she had a guy stay over one night. And the next day was like, don't, don't tell mom that he stayed over. How old were you? I was like, okay. I was, I don't know how old. How old was she, though?

She was 11. She had her own apartment. It was her teacher. I mean, she was very precocious. She must have been in her early 20s. Okay. Yeah, that age where it still is like, look, I know I'm an adult and I can do whatever I want. My mom was still religious at that time.

You know, she didn't want to deal with the whole thing. Of course. But yeah, I've forgotten about that. Yeah. But I kind of remember her apartment. It was very, I remember being. I remember thinking it was so cool to have a living space in the city

Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's awesome. Was it like that apartment in Flash Dance where it's like a whole, like city block? Yeah, it was just a whole. And then wait, she moved to Germany. No. Then she went to... She had sex with this one guy.

She's like, I got to avoid this dude forever. She moved to Redondo Beach, California. I do know this. My neck of the woods. But did she have a... a job that took her to journey. I'm getting to it. Why do I have to hear her life story?

Didn't you ask, how did she end up in Germany? Well, I kind of am curious when someone moves to their country, how they make it happen. Do you want to rephrase? And I'm trying to tell. Did she get there with a work visa or how did she make it happen where she was able to be in this country living there? I'm giving you the whole goddamn thing. Mr. Please.

And you're going to like it. Okay. Redondo Beach. It's 1994. She meets a guy. She meets a guy from New Zealand. They started a relationship. Hi.

Hi. I'm a Kiwi. I. I'm absolutely good. He sounds so great. Is he okay? Aye. My wife. My wife.

So then they moved to London together. Wow. Okay. How did that occur? That's not Germany. They started. I literally wonder how you can be an ex-packed. I'm trying to fucking tell you really well.

She's not bad anymore. Oh my God. Oh my God. I think that's so literally. Oh. Okay. So then they started a business together in London called Friends in London, which was for travelers, they would come to London. It was like it was a little bit ahead of its time that they would be like a sort of concierge service for you.

Cool. to sort of do what a concierge service does. Exactly. Yeah. Theater tickets. Their relationship did not last. Oh. They remained friends.

Wow. I'm impressed, honestly. But she loved living in London. And so she stayed there. She got a job, you know, all that. Somehow she, I don't, I, she went through all this stuff you have to go through, I guess, to stay there. It was a little, I think it was a little less difficult. To contest that the queen administers.

That's right. who's on the money and what are these jewels called I'm pointing at prison who has two thumbs and is on all the mummy do you think she's a mummy now oh I hope so

I hope so I hope they're all mummies I hope everyone's a mummy I hope everyone's a mummy Tooten common you know Tooten common Tooten common Tooten common It's like if two people fart at the same time

They have a Tooten common Very good Very good That would be a good That would be a good like Laffy Taffy joke A good one? A good one or a typical one

What do you call it when two mummies fart at the same time Toot in common Toot in common How do you spell it though You have to spell it You'd have to spell it like toot in common And then do the parentheses I think it only works out loud

Yeah you say it out loud once you read it Lauren That's how it gets You gotta read it to your friend That's how the oral tradition continue. You don't think laughy-taffy jokes

are being Shake that laffy-taffy. Are we in Germany yet? No. Because we're coming up on a break. So she's in London. She is... And it's all taken off.

She is also a singer and so she's singing... Wow. Perfect example. La-la-la! Close. Oh. La-la-la?

Very good. So she is singing with like this more essentially like a you know like a party or an event orchestra you know like this this this big band that you would hire out for a huge event she's the vocalist and she you both sing everyone in the family sings except for my little brother so you could have a little bit of a orchestra you know a family combo we could have a family band if we wanted to I'd actually like to see that who wouldn't

want to see a middle age to elderly family band what if you guys open for our freedom to no varietopia Paul Variatopia Family Reunion You sing a song together Do you know Caitlin Tarver did that With her family Really? Yes, yes, yes

She had them all sing on one of her tracks Wow, it's amazing So Drew is in there I think the Wainwrights did that To a family of talented singers It's just amazing It's fun So then she's in this band

She starts a relationship With the drummer of this band Broom boom boom Badoom boom Men will take you around the world, is what I'm hearing. Men will take you around home. If you get involved with a man. You think up with a guy, you're in a new country by morning.

Well, they lived in, they lived in London for many years. Then they got married and they moved to Germany. Here comes a bride. That kind of thing. Scott's on fire today. It needs to be said. He's like one of those books where you're nailing every single thing. Where you press a button at each like.

Exactly. So then. That, of course, is the sound of the Fisher Price barn door opening. It's a great. It sounds like a bleat. I love it so much. Yeah. I used to open and close that door all the fucking time.

I love trying to, like, really slow it down. You got to send a Bitcoin for that. I feel like I'm worried we've talked about this, but I love the turning it upside down and a moo. Oh, I love those. Yeah. Yeah, I love those. That was so great. Why was it so great?

I have 20. Satisfying. And how was it made? Oh, no one knows. I know. There's an actual cow in there. Oh, no. So they get married.

they moved to Munich Paul how much longer we need to take a break that's not my fault I think we should take the break It's not my problem All right we're taking a break

We'll be back Hey Lauren Hey Scott Ackerman by the way Oh I'm sorry I didn't want to say your name because I wasn't sure If I had it right Yeah yeah no it's me

Hey, you know those mornings when the day just explodes and do a million things and you barely have time to think about lunch, let alone cook lunch? Yes, yes. What do you do? Well, I used to just grab whatever was fast. Like, I mean, I might just, you know, eat a string cheese or something. Yeah. Usually, I saw you just eating string cheese. Well, yeah.

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Speeds may slow above 35GB on unlimited plan. Taxes and fees extra. See Mintmobile for details. And G.B stands for Gigabates. And we're back. Paul finished this fucking story. They get divorced. No.

Park yay, congratulations. They have a child. There goes the bride. Yeah. No longer a bride. That's not a thing. I can't give you that one. They should, when you get divorced, they should play the,

da, da, da, da, da, da, backwards. Too scary. And then it makes you like your eyes roll back in your head. Yeah. And Satan comes. Like, I'm here. Hi. You did all the sins, sweetie.

It's cold. Satan, everyone's so scared of him. But he can't even, like, appear unless you do, like, certain things. I'm so scared of him, but he's like a little red little devil. He's like a red little bitch. Everyone's so scared of him, but he lives in literally hell. Hell, it's like, dude, get an apartment. Go on house hunters and get whatever you want.

Yes. You choose to live there? Yeah. Uh, no, thank you. Kind of lame. Okay. Go ahead. So, they get divorced.

They do have a. That kid feel. That child. How did he feel about the divorce? How old was he? He felt good, right? I feel like he was still pretty little. So he wasn't totally.

Yeah, I think he was under 10. Did the dad ever do a Mrs. Doubtfire where he dressed up like your sister? He does it to this day. And everyone knows it's him. It's mortifying. That's really stressful. Yeah. Because you can't make it stop.

Do you think Mrs. Doubtfire is about a guy who dressed up as his own wife? No, I'm saying that would be a good version of it. But if you, when your brother-in-law does the Mrs. Doubtfire, you can't stop him because if you sort of like try to acknowledge what's happening he will just start being violent it's sort of like waking someone up

from like a guy impersonating his own wife and like thinking he's fooling his children is so funny Scott's just throwing it out there because he does it every night and he's just seeing it's weird I'm cool laugh

you have pie on your face we're like that's normal so she he moved the husband the ex-husband moved to Berlin and she stayed in Munich. And she loves it.

She loves living there. Germany's awesome. I've never been. I keep saying I have to visit her. I know. I've never been there either. May I also ask? Let's all go to Munich.

Is she? Yeah, let's do it together. I actually went there right before the pandemic. I mean, my sister opened for the show. Is she also? I should have gone with your sister. We had a had fun. Is she also there because she doesn't want to take the kid too far away from?

Well, no, he's like, he's in his 20s now. Still. He doesn't give a shit about all that stuff. I mean, he can arrange that by himself. Where's he live? Ooh. He was living at university. It's a good question.

I think he's back in Munich now. Okay. I'm not sure. I like this. He's also on the WhatsApp. There are Tompkins all over the world. In two places. I love a WhatsApp.

Germany here? The end. What's that? I love a WhatsApp with such a big crew. For me, it's just me, Mike, and my brother and his wife. Oh, this is my, my, Me and all my siblings. Well, not all my siblings.

Sybilts. It's another story. Me and my siblings. Tom Cruise, Tom Cruise, Tom Cruise. Plus. Tom Cruise, Tom Cruise. Plus. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,

siblings. Tom Cruise, Tom Cruise, Tom Cruise. I, Tom Cruise. I said of Tom Hanks. But now it's part of the catchphrase. Sybilons. Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise.

Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise. When you make a mistake, you weave it into the pattern. When you make a mistake. This is how. When you make up a steak. Beautiful vases with cracks have leaves of gold. Yes.

And that's a beautiful thing. Yeah, I'd like to go. I keep saying that, but I never do anything about it. I think it should be your next big trip. You know what? It should be. How long is the flight? You'd have a great time.

It's like beautiful. How long's the flight? I don't remember. Not bad. Yeah, I think it was two hours. Two hours? It's probably like 10. But you stand the whole time, right?

You have to stand and you have to have your eyes wide open. There's no shutting or blinking around. And that's it. Do they, like, spray anything in your eyeballs to keep them wet? Sausages. Oh, I guess they're down. They can't just dangle them. My dad, by the way, who's in the aerospace industry.

Oh, you were you made a recall. We were talking about, like, what's next for, for, you know, airplane travel or whatever? Like, how do you get faster? Wait, wait. Is it called aerospace if it's just arrow? And is it called Aerosmith because they couldn't get the rights to aerospace? I think so to both of you. I think that's a cheat.

If you're just a helicopter dude, you're not in space. I read that the show Arrow was, it was meant to be A-E-R-O. Like the candy bar. And they misspelled it. And they're like, holy shit, now we have to justify this guy's got to shoot arrows. Do you know what? I have a friend who in shop class or whatever it was, you know, a million years ago, this dumb, dumb said, Hey, how do you spell arrow?

And she's at A-R-R-O-W. He's like, all right. And then he made himself a belt that said Aerosmith. Wow. I agree. Like the Kurt Buseyak comic. Absolutely incredible. That's how it's spelled.

Oh. He wrote something called Aerosmith. It was a guy who made arrows? I don't know what the actual plot of it was. Did this light get very bright right in my eyes or did I just move into its path? I think you moved into its path. I'm worried about you. I'm worried about you, too.

Okay, so my dad and I were talking about what's next for flights and how do they get faster. And he was saying, this is his theory, that they, that basically it won't be planes necessarily, but they will shoot, like, you'll, you'll get onto a rocket. No, I won't do that. It will shoot up into the air. And come down in any place? And come down because the earth will have rotated. it'll take like an hour to get to Germany or whatever. Oh, I love that idea.

Now you're in just because it takes less time. Wait, wait. You just go straight up in the air. You go straight up in the air. You're hanging out there for an hour. No, you don't hang out for hours. The amount of explosions and deaths that will happen from this. Why are you smiling?

You're so excited about it. You're like the Joker. Lauren is rubbing your hands together. Oh, wow. It's got dollar signs to eyes. The amount of explosions. You're signing a petition to elects you. for Congress and you can enact this into law?

It's going to be absolutely intangible. Do you ever talk to your dad about Kim Trails? No. Kim Trails? Is that when Kim Kardashian farts? Like Tutankhamin? Her and Kanye have a dude and come? If never mummies.

Guys, are we going to finally talk about Kanye? Well, first let's talk about Kim Trails. I think it would dovetail nicely. Okay. Tell me about Kim Trails. Do you know about Kim Trails? I do. I know that people believe in them and that it's sort of one of those conspiracy theories. Yes. And you know, like those white lines in the sky? White lines running through my mind. Yeah. People say that that's what now? Kempteros.

So you know a lot about this. All I know is I think it's a conspiracy theory, right? It is a conspiracy theory. And the theory as I understand it is that it's how all of the world's government. governments keep us docile. Oh, like those little dust in the air is kind of like causing me to like, yeah, breathe into the rag a little bit. Breathe into like a rag full of, like, the government's rag. You breathe it into the government's rag. That's my favorite song, the government's rag. Yeah.

So like. Be it up badu-di-da, the government's rag. The idea that the government was like, how do we keep people from rising up against us? Why don't we just have planes, just sort of crop dust, like leave these trails. everywhere and keep everyone just like what about if people see it oh no people can see it yeah they'll just can you imagine

just people some people just have very interesting belief system well it's interesting because it being as neutral as possible if you look at semi recent events it only took a few hundred people to almost overthrow the government so it's like there's millions and millions here we could do whatever we want it and yet we don't

because of fucking chemtrail that's a good point I'm starting to come around on this the way to keep them away is of coarse to spray vinegar in the air. Oh. Okay. So it's kind of like cat piss. Is that why you smell like vinegar all the time? Um, I'm sure I don't know what you mean. So if you spray vinegar, it'll eventually waft up to the sky. No, it does, well, it dissipates in your immediate area. Oh, so it's actually the white lines aren't really as far away as it is. It's down in my mind. The white lines are up

there, but then all the shit comes down, settles down over us. What if you just like the poppies in the, uh, wizard of us? Yes, thank you. Excuse you. What in the fuck? What happened? Hmm, got an alert. A purple alert? Glass breaking herd in my house. Is anyone home? I was laughing until I heard the in my house.

In my office, huh, interesting. That's really weird. You should definitely have someone check that out. Glass breaking in my house. I will definitely send that. Oh, I'm sure cool. I've got it, but I'll maybe someone. Oh, no, you know, there's a refrigerator guy who is going to be working on the refrigerator down there.

Sounds like he's probably it. And your refrigerator is behind glass. Is that right? Oh, yeah. Only using case of emergencies. That's what you're getting fixed. Could you take the glass off? We're starving.

Lauren, did I answer your question? Yeah. Why don't people just wear masks? Oh, masks don't work. That's right. Only vinegar. Oh, that's right. That's how we get rid of COVID.

Just spray vinegar. But there are videos on YouTube with people like spraying vinegar. Why have you been doing that? Because I wanted to preserve myself. For marriage? Mummification. So I could eventually have a tune in common with my lover. Here's the thing.

If you want to be a mummy, just spray vinegar on yourself a bunch. Well, you get to put wet toilet paper. Well, wet the toilet paper with the vinegar and then yada, yada, yada, yada, yada. Yada yada yada. Mummification? How do you want to, do you want to be cremated or do you want to be? Why do you ask me this once a season? I have a will.

Have you, you have a, oh, you have a will. Can I be in it? Absolutely. Um, yeah, what do you want? A dollar? Um, you don't really need my dollar. $20. I'd like you to give me.

I'd like you to give me $100. In the will? Just right now. No. How much do you have on you? Right now, I think I probably have like $60 or something. Would you give me $60? No.

Would you give me $50? No, but I love, I think having cashed. Cash is, we're missing this in our generation. Yeah. This is a huge. So give me 40. Like being buried with cash, like the monies. I think we need, I think people need to have cash on them.

In their confidence. I agree. That's what I'm saying. Give me 40. I can't give it to you right now. I need it. When you, in your will, would you? I need it.

Would you please will to me something that would naturally go to Mike, but just give it to me. My bra collection? Collection. These are the ones you never wear, right? These are just in the glass case. Yeah. They're kind of like old fashioned, interesting. Pretty from case of sagging.

Yeah. Vintage bras. Vodka popps. Yeah. No, you know what? It's already done deal. I'd have to, in a few years' time when I go to edit it again,

I will leave you something. Okay. Leave us both something. But it's, they already did all the work of finalizing. Yeah, I know. Yeah. The notary.

Yeah. I think ours was very vague where it was like. Well, I didn't include like all my objects. Yeah. We were just like, we included a few things. This stuff goes.

to them, like that kind of thing. We, I, hopefully we're not going to go at the same time because then that complicates things. That comes, although we did all the three of us. Yeah. That's why I don't want to go on tour with you guys. You're right. We can't all be in the same place. You're the one like he's bringing up the tour.

We just want to do one live show at home. I know, idiot. I hate this guy. Oh, come on. You heard my feelings. How did you know I was talking about you? Wait. Wait.

Are we talking about Matt? Wait, but go back to what you were just saying. Yeah. What about it? What about what? By the way, I've gotten confirmation. Our final episode. I've gotten confirmation that it's the freezer repair, man.

Wonderful. So we're so happy now. So wait, do we have enough time to go back? We're so happy now. Do we have enough time to go back to Lauren's topics and hear a little more about this? You want to say it for another episode. I don't know a little more time. I'd love to hear yada yada.

Okay, what do you want to hear? You want to hear about the actual burf? Yes, I want to hear that story. I haven't heard this story and I'm excited. So, okay, so when it was like, hey, five centimeters, it's going down. Going down, down, baby. They said to us. That's what Emerald said.

We're going down, down, baby. They said, do you want to go get lunch and come back? So we went to. It's so exciting, though. Were you just buzzing? It was a little like, okay. Were you making honey? The whole time it was kind of like, we'd been feeding into some.

mission. Right. For excitement. For excitement purposes of like for two weeks, just like it's not happening. It's not happening. Now it's like, is it happening? I don't know. So we went to Red Lobster, which was across the street, took her ass to Red Lobster.

That's good. And so now we think maybe on her birthday we go to Red Lobster every year. I don't know. Oh, that's cute. But we went to Red Lobster and that was at 1130. We got back by 1230. Then we went. Our lunch.

Sure. A sensible hour. Yeah, went up into the hospital and we had to, like, sign some stuff and all that kind of stuff. So that's maybe another hour. It's 1.30. And then our surrogate's husband is there and they only allowed to. He is pissed. He's like, what the fuck happened?

I go away for two seconds. Only how many are allowed? This isn't my baby? Two people are allowed in the. Well, he has to leave. I have to leave. Wow. It's better that he is there because he's comforting to her.

He needs to coach her through all of this kind of stuff. He's a hold her leg. I don't know if there was a doula. Hold her leg. Okay. Yeah, hold her legs open because she's like, I want him shot. I don't keep me his guy. So he's there.

So that's good. So he's there and Kulap is there and I have to go. So I. That must have been crazy for you. So I'm picturing you like, like, leaning in a window, eating red lobster. Breaking into a lobster fall. There's a bib on. So basically, I am now in the situation that, like, you see in the old classic movies when there's a pregnancy where...

Right, because the men were always waiting. The men were always in the waiting room. So I'm basically, like, hanging out in the hospital all afternoon on my phone. And then my phone is about to die. Fun! And so I go out into the car and just, like, chill in the car all day and all night. This sounds like heaven. How long did it go on?

Um, so by the way, I have a, we, we supposedly, the, the process is when the baby is delivered, we then get a, our own room. We're like the baby's taken to our own room and that, you know. That's when they get the stork, yeah, train stork, they hang it on the beak and then it walks into your room. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that would be really cool. And the noise he makes is like, Lauren, go to do it. I actually, I actually was going to go for it without thinking.

And then that's when I don't think. I know it is all about that. So I'm just in the situation where I'm like, you know, doing the typical pacing the waiting room. And like I feel like I need to have cigars for everyone there or something. But so at 9.30 p.m. I get it post-meridion? Post-meridion.

I get a text from Kool-Up saying it's going down. And so I'm gathering. And like there's all this stuff that I need to take up to the room. And it's only me. So it's like two giant armfuls of stuff. Coloring books. So. For him.

Tampax. You have a teacher about puberty now. So I have like just, I'm like, okay, I'll get all the stuff. I go to the, and the entrance is closed now, unless you're going in for a specific purpose. So I basically gather two armfuls of stuff at 9.30 p.m. And I'm there by the entrance ready for it. 10.22 is when it happens, 22, 22, 22. Aw.

And I just, I just get a text, she's here. And then a half hour goes by. No. You're just standing outside with this shit. I'm standing outside with this stuff. But also, like, is there a problem? Right. Well, obviously they would.

Oh, that's the last thing you hear. That's just, she's here. And then a half hour. And then I get a picture. And I'm like, okay. Should I come up? Should I come up? Anyway, another couple hours goes by.

The torture. And after midnight, around 1230, it's like, okay, you can come up now. So what was, I mean, if you can say, what was the delay? Oh, they have to do, like, certain tests and stuff like that. That was why you weren't allowed to go, because they're doing all those things. They're not moving her to the room. Right, okay. Okay, because you're supposed to be in that separate room, blah, blah, got it.

So I definitely got, I had always assumed I would be there and it would be like the whole deal. Coolop got all. of that and I got just basically the typical you know like 1960s man version of it where it's like oh I hear the baby's here I'll run up to the room and see yeah leave the bar but that's great that

cool up got to watch that yes it was very good and she's got some videos oh that's great then the nurses all like took her phone and took pictures and stuff like that it was very nice but then they just like we get the room and and we don't know what we're doing and they're

just basically like here's your baby good night. Yeah. Take care of it. And we're like, oh, what, how? Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah, anyway.

Wow. So did you stay overnight there? Stayed overnight there and would have maybe stayed one more night. But we were. This is not a hotel, sir. No, no, we were pressing to go. But I keep calling the hospital, the hotel, and then vice versa. That's true.

We wanted to go home. Yeah, of course. You've been there for a long. But they were like maybe one more night, but then we finally got cleared to leave. You have to watch all these videos. and stuff on an eye they bring in an iPad and they're like watch these videos before you can go yeah i guess it was like one of my real please be honest rick assley yeah um about how to like certain things how to take care yeah yeah some safety

they're kind of dated they remember the ones that i watch um yeah not the safety elements but like the sort of like some of some of the like style of it was it was good but yeah anyway so we remember there are only two genders I'm like, okay. We got home the next night. That's nice. And yeah. So that's, is, are there any details that you want to know about that I've left out?

Well, I guess my first question is, what was it like the first night when you were home? Like, did you feel like, oh, my God, I can't believe it? Like, what was your emotional? Because the night before, you know, it was one of those, like, every two hours waking. It was just like sheer, just exhaustion, just like, and we had to drive home from Riverside and all that. That's just kind of nerve-wracking to be in the car. Cool, I fell asleep. She was like, I'm going to be in the back seat.

I'm going to be making sure that everything's all right with Emerald. And then I drove. And then I found out later that she just fell out. She just fell asleep right away. Oh, she's fine. Yeah. So it's, you know, I don't know. It's been a bit of an adjustment.

Sure. Sure, sure, sure. It's a big adjustment. And now I think you told me you take pictures. of her all day and then at night you look at the pictures edit the pictures

no that Kulap does definitely she's like all I do after you know when we go to bed is I sit there

in bed for a while just looking at all the pictures all day it's so fun it's so sweet that's very nice she's so cute she's very cute

she's a perfect little clone of cool up yes although she's starting to look more and more like me really

but not act like you I think she's starting to actually. Oh, it's too bad. Yeah. All right, we have to take break. Break. The longevity industry is booming. Everywhere you turn, you're being sold some supplement or superfood to extend your life.

But what if I told you that the real secrets to living a longer, happier life are much simpler. And there are things that you can. can start doing today? I'm Dan Butener, journalist and founder of the Blue Zones. In my new podcast, I sit down with extraordinary people to uncover surprising secrets to living longer better. Listen to the Dan Butner podcast wherever you get your podcast, the first two episodes premiere on Thursday, August 21st. And we're back Hello Paul

Yeah, hello That's coming back in style Did it ever come back in style? No, not yet. He didn't say when I saw that guy in person one time Oh cool That guy from Twin Peaks

It was very exciting Yeah, I bet Yeah, yeah, yeah The Cat and Fiddle Oh wow, that's, I hear that's a good restaurant now I went there a long time Is it the same place though, right? Oh wait,

I mean the place that took I have not been there. I have not been like on that street and I can't. We were on that street last night and we passed it and Cool Up said, hey, that's a restaurant that was in Santa Monica or something

that the second location is now in. They moved to brick by brick. Oh, second location. Brick by brick. Oprah says never go to a second location. It's true. So very quickly, the yada yada. Uh-huh.

I was in a development deal back when that was a thing. Nice. And I got paired with these two writers to essentially write. a sitcom pilot based on my stand-up back when that was a thing. I love everything I'm hearing.

And these two people... What was it about a guy who drinks eight beers every show? Yeah. It was about a guy who drinks eight beers every show. Slam. Every other page. She drinks another beer. Another one.

Another one. Another one. We, the best music. And these people and I did not get along. Oh, no. We had different ideas about what was funny but was not funny. Well, that's already a rough story.

And they were like the pros, right? So I was like the dumb comedian who didn't know shit. You didn't know how to do anything. Except I knew something. Did and you know what's funny. Yeah. Yeah. And so we clashed a lot and I could tell that they just despised me.

Yeah. And they kept wanting to, back then I did not drive. They kept wanting to meet. As far away as possible. They had a boat and they always wanted to meet on the boat. Oh, come on. Yeah. That's so insane.

They had a boat? they had a boat anytime you had to go by the water yeah that's already way too far and then you're on a boat yes you're in mind you're down Marina del Rey no no no no no no how to go down rich no motherfucker and then here's what we did was we just sat on the boat in the dock and it was like I thought yeah you're like gonna go out on the water I was like if we're gonna if we're gonna do that yeah that sounds fun you're sitting at the dock and it's like yeah we're just sitting at the dock and you know like there's not this is beautiful this is not like a like a huge luxury boat. You know what I mean? There's an implied... So we're sitting on the molded plastic scenes. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's an implied thing when you're working with someone is that you meet halfway. Yes. And Zach making the Between Two Fern's movie would say, let's meet halfway and then pick a place 10 minutes from his house. Yeah, of course. So...

Yeah, I had coffee with you guys in like Westwood. Yes. So the thing does not go. Years later, they're working with a friend of mine on, according to Jim. Yeah. And your friend's Jim Blushy. Please don't make me name, bro.

But they were telling the story of working with me. No. Not knowing that he knew me. Holy! What did they say? You can't do that. You never heard of them and you never will. Wow.

After hearing that story, they talked about what an asshole I was. And after that story. With your name. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And my friend just going, uh-huh. Uh-huh. Take it all in.

Take it all in. So then a year after that or so, I run into the guy, the husband of this team, husband and wife team. Oh, it was a husband and wife? And all they can afford is a shitty boat. Well, they couldn't afford it for long because they eventually had to sell.

I love that for them. I love that for them. But he was like being so fucking phony with me. And he kept saying, it's good to see you. And I wouldn't say it back. Yeah. And he kept like saying,

it's good to see you. And I was with other people. And I was like, mm-hmm. I was like, yes. I am seeing you. Yes. But the name of their boat was the yada yada spelled Y-A-H-T-A. But it was not a yacht.

And that's why it was a... And it was a reference to another sitcom that they didn't work on. That they did not work on. I'd love to hear more about this, but... Did they break up? I highly recommend the show episodes. I think I'm sure they're still together. And are they dead?

I'm sure they're still together. I'm sure they're still alive. I'll be Googling them later. Can we talk about the show episodes just for the quick reference? I love that show. It's so funny. Jane is a huge episodes fan. It's so good.

If you need a show out there and you want something funny, that's the show for you. It's a husband-writing TV, husband-wife writing duo. That's kind of the problem. It's the problem. It's the problem. It's like a version of myself. It's very funny. Yeah.

Love it. Yeah. Classic great TV. People don't even know about. Do you want a boat? No, I don't want to be on the water. Ever. I get seasick.

If you could walk on water, would you? Sure. Do you think you would get seasick if you walked on it? Probably. That's the thing. If you, if you, if you, you could walk on water, would people, like, walk to England? Uh, yes, they would.

Absolutely. You would just walk everywhere that water connects something to the other thing. Obviously. Obviously. Does anyone here want a boat? Paul does. Paul wants a boat. Paul wants a boat so bad because Paul wants a boat.

I would love a boat. You have to be so, you have to have so much fucking money. I know. There's such a way of my boat. I dated this. I think they're a waste of money if you have the money to keep it up and you use it a lot. Well, nothing is a waste of money if you have the money. Well, then what are we talking about?

It's still a waste. It's a waste of money. Well, not if you have that money. That's what I'm saying. I said you have to be so. It's not a waste of money if you like it and use it and you can afford it. I think that it's a waste of money if you're saying like, I can't afford this, but I'm going to do it. I'm not going to use it.

That's a weights of money. I dated, in high school I dated someone who, I dated a boat. See, he's always talking about girls. He never mentioned the boats. He's always talking about girls. But she, her family had this boat and it was like the best boat situation, I think, because it was in Huntington Harbor. They got it at Best Boat?

They did. But where basically it's just like you can travel around this very serene water that's by everyone's houses and just these like almost a lagoon and stuff like that. And it was like, oh, okay, I like this. but then for someone's birthday once someone in Kulop's friend group rented a boat for like oh let's go out on the water for a thing everyone's seasick immediately

they're just not worth it no no no no no I'm not dragging people onto a boat believe I have talked about it on our show before but Janie and I rented a boat in South Carolina a couple years ago and it was so much that's why I said you would want a boat because you would Is it common placid though and like a Yeah I mean you're going out on like the it's not like a lake So there is, it's the river, it's the intercoastal waterway.

Okay. And there are certain places like you cannot go over there and you can't go over there and you have to be really mindful of how deep you are because if you go too shallow, you run under ground, that's a big fucking deal. And so there's all kinds of monitors and things like that, like little, not monitors, but things that monitor you're not seeing. It's not like video monitors. But there's all kinds of gauges and shit like that you have to be aware of.

And I like that part of it, too. But you pick it up very quickly. Yeah. You know, and once you get the hang of it, it's really, really fun. It's great. I can't wait to do it again. And they shouldn't be letting people do it. Why don't you go jump in a lake?

You know what? Maybe I won't. Relax. You're at the lake. How is that an insult, by the way? Go jump in a lake. It's like, it sounds fun. You're saying it's someone fully clothed.

That's the implication. And it's really just like, it's so demeaning. They got the wallet. It's not against the rules to take your clothes off. No. No, it is. there's go jump in a lake implies all your shit will get ruined to your shoes you know what it means to me is I don't care what you do that's why that's a bad thing to say it means I don't care what you do just get out of my sight how about go suck an egg that's nasty maybe it's it's go as far away from me as possible which includes the water that's just go jump in you know what I mean like you can only say if you're near a lake you say go jump in a lake you don't say the lake some people say the lake go jump in the lake who says that no one's saying that lake people well they might say it

Lake Bell says it all the time she says go jump in the lake go jump in this leg oh yeah yay all right we have to play this three church I thought when you were coming back that you were going to lead us right into it

you thought that didn't you yeah and I got confused about time but we couldn't leave the thread hanging because it came up before the break and people make people wash their hands

50 times the phantom thread the phantom thread okay this is a three chair we've played before we haven't done it in a while and I'm very pleased to bring it back.

It's called, Hey, Fred Schneider. This is an old improv warmup where you say, you stand around in a circle, you're clapping. You say, hey, Fred Schneider, what are you doing? And then somebody has to come up with a thing that Fred Schneider is doing in the classic French Snyder voice.

I love it so much. It's fun and nothing but. All right. Nothing but fun. Let's do it. And we all say, hey, Fred Schneider, what are you doing at the same time? Yeah, yeah.

And then we go around the same. And we don't speed up at all. No, we never speed up. If anything, we slow down. How many times are we saying it before someone has to make up one? I think just once. Once, yeah. Yeah.

Once. What's the clap? I forget the rhythm of the clap. Hey, Fred Schneider, what are you doing? Right, there we are. Hey, Fred Schneider, what are you doing? Hey, Fred Schneider. Is that what it is?

Yeah. That was, hey, Fred Schneider, what are you doing? It's the same thing. You're wrong. I'm wrong? You're wrong. I'm wrong? Literally?

You're wrong? I'm wrong? I'm wrong. Someone's going to bring their fists to their hand, and it's all downhill from here. Hey, Fresh Snyder, what are you doing? Hey, Fresh Snyder, what are you doing? Paul.

Putting some ketchup on my hotting dog. Hey, Fresh Snyder, what are you doing? Going to the dentist for my free cleaning. I can't. The claps are too loud? I can't, like, process what's happening. Yeah, let's a little, that's still too. You have the loudest clap.

I think just, yeah, snap. I have beautiful. It's my beautiful hands. Yeah, it's your princely hands. Put your hands together like this. Princely, I like that. Yeah, you can play it like one of those weird country instruments. Okay.

Hey, Fred Snyder, what are you doing? Hey. Oh, Fred Schneider, what are you doing? I'm going to open up my own chase bang. Hey, French,ider, what are you doing? Walking down the street like a chicken with a head. Hey, French Snyder. What are you doing?

Trying to learn the rules of baseball so I can play. Hey, French Rider, what are you doing? Test driving cars with no roofs. Hey, Fresh Rider, what are you doing? Going off to Finland, the land of the Finns. Hey, Fresh Rider, what are you doing? Pouring ketchup on my dear wife. Hey, Frist Snyder, what are you doing?

Counting the feathers in my new pillow. Hey, Freshider, what are you doing? Going to the beach and looking at a crab. Hey, Freshider, what are you doing? Buying Twitter for 44 billion. Hey, Freshider, what are you doing? Paying my fee to be verified. Hey, Fritziner, what are you doing?

Storming the Capitol with some good friends. Hey, Fritz Snyder, what are you doing? Catching a lapricon and squeezing the life out of him. Hey, Fred Snyder, what are you doing? Catching a goose and squeezing the life out of him. Hey, Fred Snyder, what are you doing? Catching a big foot and becoming friends. Hey, Fritziter, what are you doing?

Shaving off my hair and realizing I'm the big foot. Hey, Fred Snyder, what are you doing? Adjusting my pants till they fit real tight. Hey, Chris Snyder, what are you doing? Sending a valentine to Dracula. Hey, Fred Snyder, what are you doing? Ending this song right now. All right.

Yeah. Wow. You did it. What are you doing? I love it. And my hands are tingling. My hands are tingling and I hurt myself with my wedding ring. So that's a good lesson for next time.

It is, but I will not retain it. Get a divorce. So you don't have that ring. I made a vow. I love that. It isn't it weird that you make this vow and then half the people just go like, yeah, forget it. Yeah. It's kind of great.

It's an option. It's like a nice. It's a great, great option. Great option. It's a great back door option. Yeah. I think they shouldn't make it so definitive in the vows. I think it should be a little more big.

Do you want to do this? That's right. All right. Well, this was a great time. It was a great time. It was a great time with you all. It's good to be back, gang. Happy Thanksgiving.

I hope that if you're like trying to avoid your loved ones today and listening to us that everything's cool with you. And if your loved ones are listening to this with you, they're keepers. Yeah. Wow. And if they're saying this is stupid,

why are you listening to it? Kick them in the fucking balls. Kick them in the balls. I love that. Yeah. I love that for that. I love that. But guys,

if you want to follow us on social media, it's at Freedom USA. Yeah. We're proudly American. Yeah. I love America. And you can write to us, I forget what the, with the, Freedom USA at Gmail.com. That's what it is.

And send us three-ture ideas. And if you want to hear ad-free episodes of this, you can hear them at Stitcher Premium and also CBBWorld.com. Oh, and remember. Scott, I know what you're going to say. And I'm so glad. I was thinking the same thing. Okay. Remember that.

Wait, I know what you were just going to say. Lauren. So you stayed at the same time? Yeah. Three, two, one. Remember that movie, the Poseidon Adventure. Burgers. Hmm.

No, see, what I was going to say is we're re-releasing all of the old episodes. We, you know what we call it. Of everything? Of every, of every podcast. Happy day. We're doing that. Oh, wait, no. Just a lot of work.

Just podcasts. Thank God, it was just podcasts, but sales. I thought, I would jump to happy days. I was like, we got to do happy days. The old and welcome to night fails and the oldest show ever. Happy Days? Happy days. Well, you've set in a film.

50s, so. It was the first show. No, we're re-releasing old episodes of 3-3-Dem, so you can, and we call it three, three-visit, three-visiting, three-visiting, three-visiting, on the twos, because it's on Tuesdays. So this Tuesday will re-release a set in the 50s, and I was a child who didn't understand time, did confuse me. Really? Did it? A little bit. So anytime you saw anything set in the past, you were like, what is it? It was already reruns, you know, so it was like, what about it?

This is from the 50s. Wander years, I thought kind of was in the 50s. I just, I sort of thought it was. But it never was the 50s, by the way. It never was. It's never been the 50s. It never has been the 50s, but I thought it has. And it never will be the 50s.

The video at the beginning feels so 50s-ish. World's going to end in 2049. Oh, shit. So please listen to the episodes. They're coming out every Tuesday. Every Tuesday. Listen to, we'll release episode two this Tuesday. We're going to release them this Tuesday.

Three visits. Three visiting on the Tuesday. I don't know what it's called. Three visiting on the Tuesdays. See you there. Thank you.