Threedom - Threevisiting: I Wanna Go Turtle Turtle

Episode Date: October 28, 2025

Threevisiting on the Tues: Lauren, Paul and Scott talk about the m&m’s, going to see a basketball game and listen to some voicemails.  Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Unlock every episode of THREEDOM and THREEMIUM, ad-free, on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey, what's up, flies. This is David Spade. Dana Carvey. Look, I know we never actually left, but I'll just say it. We are back with another season of Fly on the Wall. Every episode, including ones with guests, will now be on video. Every Thursday, you'll hear us, and see us chatting with big-name celebrities. And every Monday you're stuck with just me and Dana. We react to news, what's trending, viral clips.

Follow and listen to Fly on the Wall everywhere you get your podcasts. It's morning in New York. Oh, God. Hey, everybody. I'm Mandy Patinkin. And I'm Catherine Grady. And we have a new podcast. It's called Don't Listen to Us. Many of you've asked for our advice.

Tell me, what is wrong with you people? Don't listen to us. Our Take It or Leave It Advice show is out every Wednesday, premiering October 15th, a Lemonada Media Original. Freedom! I'm not yelling at a new one. You're not? You're not going to yell louder.

What's the f- Freedom? Or you did after. Oh, I feel jealous. I'm doing it before. I can't stop. Go-D on! Hey!

It's us, the neighborhood guy. We do the ticcity-tac-a-hikri-Dakry dot. Do you think he's on TikTok? with his you think Andrew Dice Clay's on TikTok? Because he's got to get on there. Hickory Dickerickory. His jokes are succinct.

People want to see him 15 seconds or less. You got it. He was the original. It's come back around. It's come back around that kind of humor. And you don't have to pretend you're a character anymore.

Right. It can just be the way you feel. Right. Isn't that beautiful? And isn't that beautiful? And isn't that beautiful? And isn't that beautiful? And isn't that beautiful?

That is what we're all granted. And isn't that special. And isn't that special chopping broccoli. Hey, welcome, Miss Rita. I'm Paula. I'm Paul F. Tompkins. I'm Scott Ockerman. I'm Lauren Lepkis.

And this is the show where three people talk at the same time and tell the same story. Yes, and they're about to show up, so we've got to get out of here. Oh, no. Oh, my God. They're right behind me, aren't they? How are you guys doing? Doing good. I got to say, since our talk about our New Year's resolutions, I've worked out three times since the last episode.

Hey, that's great. That was only a week. And it was not because they were New Year's resolutions. It was because they set up a photo shoot for when the book comes out. Oh, sure. Does this thing we can get some pictures taken for us soon? Oh. When you do your photo shoot, we can just get in the background and get some freebies.

You could photo bomb them. That would be great. Yeah. That would be amazing. Well, speaking of resolutions, I'm on my fourth book. Whoa, which one? I just started, Les is Lost by Andrew, Sean Greer. I read Les when it first came out a couple years ago.

As did I. And it's so good. Yes. It's a Pulitzer Prize winning novel. Sounds stupid. No, it's the opposite. Really? Scott.

It's actually very smart. What are you basing that on? Yeah. Just like the title and like with the way you said it was a Pulitzer Prize. Oh, no, it's great. That was a great question. Well, you know what's great about the book is like in the, unless he's talking about the Pulitzer Prize. Yeah.

What? The book ends up winning the Pulitzer Prize. How very metate contextual. I know. It's really great. He really manifested that. He really did. So wait, so this is a sequel?

Is it a sequel? Is it like Empire Strikes Back where it's better than the original, maybe? I think there's a chance, you know, what Paul would know, because he's read both. It is like the Empire Strikes Back and that it takes place on a swamp planet. Oh, right. And is it full of like aliens and stuff? I don't want to spoil it for you. Okay.

I've only read one page. Aliens everywhere? Yeah. It's Teenage Yoda. Oh my God. Okay, that's funny. He's got pimples. We've seen baby.

We've seen old. Popsies are most. We've seen. baby we've seen old now we need team give us something we can fold give us something we can fold doda it's warm in here oh do you want me to turn down uh the temperature i'm perfectly fine but if it was colder i wouldn't be upset okay so you want me to leave i'm understanding and go over oh full stop i'll do it is your sweatshirt from american apparel back in the disney no it's not but i get why you would think that.

Yeah. It's just a... Run-of-the-mill, purple sweatshirtie. Yeah, that's all. I got it from the Grimmest merch store. I used to have that one, is what I'm saying. Oh, did you really? From my back.

I had purple. I got to say, I was listening to that. You were eavesdropping? Boring as hell. Okay, so thanks for coming back so you could help it out. Yeah, okay. Let's goose this up a little bit. So where did you really get this from?

Scott, what book are you reading, if any? Yeah, all right? Speaking of dumb. I told you I read the Steve Martin book and then I got that was a cartoon that's past tense I got I got three other books for Christmas I got heat to another sequel yeah the book by Michael Mann yeah he wrote a sequel to what is he doing a heat what is that guy doing he sounds like he's making bank and the chipminks read it he's fucking making bank on this book people that love that movie they're like what there's a sequel but it's a book I hear it's good

Paul Shear did put that as a gift option on ad to cart. He was suggesting it for a few. Oh, Mr. Taste? Mr. T is what he likes to call. You know what I thought was really great? He had this brilliant idea on the podcast where he said at Christmas time, what it really sounded like to me was that Paul was very on top of gifts in the household. He's kind of handling a lot of gifts.

He's the opposite of me. Well, a lot of men, you know, don't do that in their relationship. Because our big dicks are in the way all the time. Yeah, you're trying to wrap presents in the two. just knocking against the dots. I'm trying to keep the world going. Well, that too. And the world's economy.

He had a great idea, which is that he bought a couple, like, versions. He bought a couple. A couple virgins? Put a couple virgins into the tree. It keeps everybody happy. He brought, he bought some games that he likes, and, like, they're just kind of crowd pleasers, wrapped him under the tree unlabeled. Someone comes over with a gift for him.

He's like, I have a gift for you. It's all ready to go under the tree, wrapped, and it's a gift that the person will like Who are these people dropping by his place to give him gift? That's part of the, that's part of the, part of the part of the part about that makes him feel a little special, I think, is that he's a bit. No one ever gives Santa a gift back. What? This has never happened before. I know that's not for me.

A shirt. Cool up, I think, got a lot of gift ideas from him because she gave me this game as well as a centophile game or something. I can't remember what it's called, but I haven't cracked it open yet. And three, I think, of the books were from his. Everything he said she was like very much like, that's great for Scott. Yeah, yeah. I think it was the Quentin Tarantino book maybe. I only remember the other.

I heard it's one long sentence. Is that true? Yeah. And it's all about feet. Wow. At the end? Fascinating. He says he loves him at the end of that sentence.

At the end of one long sentence, he says, I love feet. And by the way, I love feet. Yeah. Oh, and by the way, and it's on its own page. I love feet. I love feet. And they draws the ugliest. foot you've ever seen you're like that's the foot you love they're all beautiful

every foot what was the uh Jesus loves the little children all the children in the world do have you ever heard the song yeah uh never sung so beautifully though all the children in the world they are yellow black or white they are precious in his sight are those are the three types yeah yellow black or white it's like a box of crayons the worst box of crayons I have yellow, black, and white. The white crayon is the fucking worst. I do have a white crayon.

I guess I could draw the sun and outline it. It is an annoying crayon, but it's the one I would like Holly to carry around the most, because she does draw on the walls. Right. She draws on the walls? Yeah. Why do you? Why don't you spank her? I find it later.

It's like I find, like, in the room and then I'm like, oh, there's fucking crayon all over the... By the way, I have decided to reclaim spankings. Okay. This is a horrible idea. I give Emmy spankings when she's good. So I'm trying to teach her that they're good. Okay, you're taking back the word of making it positive. I say, you were so good today.

I'm going to give you this. I think this is horrible. Is crayons very hard to get off the wall? Is crayons very hard to get off the wall? Magic eraser. I'll take that right out. Hey, Yahoo. Is crayons very hard to get off the wall?

I love a magic eraser. I love magic anything. Yeah. Big fan of magic. I love magic. Flying carpet? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Love it. Wand. Yeah. Yeah, rabbit Wond, yeah

Magic rabbit No, I mean He does magic to the rabbit Mushroom? Yes This is like a fun game That I feel like XXL

I'm not able to play My brain doesn't work You can think of words That follow magic Did you ever have a magic set When you were young? Oh, you just love anything Castle Yeah well

Can I think I didn't have a magic You never want to be No you know Does there want to be a puppeteer A magician Or any kind of like artistic like, hey, look at the juggler.

No, that really wasn't how I operate. Are we not raising our young girls to want to be magicians and jugglers? I think we're really pushing that on men. I really think we need more. We need more women magicians. Why do men with ponytails want to juggle so bad? I don't know. I didn't realize that was a thing.

It's definitely true. They love hacky sack. They love juggling. Definitely true. They love to do magic with their wand. I guess I'm thinking of like professional magicians or people like that

that I feel like they have the ponytail more seldomly They don't have room to have a ponytail Because they're whipping around They can't have their hair getting in the way Have a hair in their mouth when they're doing their trick Can you imagine? No

If somebody's doing an intricate magic trick And then they're just going I know I know I went to Or they have like a wet hair on their cheek. That's disgusting. Why is it wet? Because it was in his mouth.

Oh, my God. I went to drama school with a guy who... Is he on the phone? I had to send something for work to someone and I did it very serptitiously. Oh, wait, sorry. Hey, whenever I'm... Tell Lauren to shut up. Okay, good work text.

While it worked. But he had, he had long hair that he... Who? I forgot the beginning. This guy I went to drama school with, he had long hair that he would put into a ponytail, and he wanted to be a magician. But he was in acting school, and we were always sort of like, you're obviously a magician. I think acting is going to be helpful to doing magic. True. And what did he do? He ended up being a magician.

That's right. Is he still doing? Andrew Golden Hirsch. Do you remember him? Yeah, I do. Yeah, I like him. Now, he had long hair. He did have long hair. He was not a ponytail guy. He had beautiful long curly hair. That you love to run your fingers through. You do? Yeah. After the show, he would sit on. stage and everybody could come up and run their fingers through his hair. That's so disgusting. He would end his shows like this. Yeah. I know you want to.

And then he would sit on the chair. And he wouldn't even say what you want to do. Oh, see, I want him to lay at the edge of the stage with his hair dangling off the stage. Oh, yeah. Kind of waterfall through it. Well, sometimes they would raise the stage like that up past the people's heads. Okay. So people could just reach up and do that. Oh, why did they reach up? Why can they do it at level or look down at him? He initially was, he would lay across two chairs, but they were just like what chairs that hurt his back. Yeah.

And he put it in his rider. You have to get me a special padded bench to lay on. Yeah. So people can run there. And nobody read that far. Of course. After you've said you only want the horny M&Ms,

people kind of stop reading. Yes. Yeah. What is the M&Ms thing that everyone is all up in arms about? Because there's a possibly... There's an asexual Eminem now. Asexual in what way?

No dick. They all have no dick. That's what I'm saying. They all have no dick. No, no. It's not like... It's not like, it's not like, the old, the green one had boobies.

No, I think there was an LGBTQ Eminem or something. In what way? I saw a Fox news clip where they were going, having a rant, but I don't know what was true. But I saw having a rent. I saw an Eminem commercial the other day and nothing seemed changed. How do I, I'm like, I'm like, what's the personality of the purple M&M? We eat these things

anyway. Is there a purple Eminem? Introduces first new character more than a decade. Purple. This was October 3, 2022. Okay. Okay. the new purple spokescandy is a peanut Eminem designed to represent acceptance and inclusivity.

The brand's probably anti-bullying or something. Hold on. The character's charm and quirky nature come from her keen self-awareness, authenticity, and confidence. Hold on, read more. She's really happy. She said, hi.

None of this sounds bad to me. So in January, they redesigned green. So green no longer had the boots, the healed go-go boots, when said has cool, laid-back sneakers to reflect her effortless confidence. She could have everless confidence in the go-go boots. Can I, here's the thing.

It's not that it's bad that, you know, inclusivity is bad. It's just, why are, is this fucking candy getting involved in this? There's more, okay? You have to hear this. The change came after Mars received criticism for Green's sexy characterization and said she would now represent confidence and empowerment as a strong female and known for much more than her boots. Right.

The company also changed the backstory to Green and Brown, the two women M&Ms. They now have a more friendly relationship, showcasing a force supporting limit. Wait, so they were, they were rivals before? I don't recall Brown being against Green. Here's why, here they get into trouble because they decided to have these characters in the first place, which are stupid. Right. And then they tried to give them all of these attributes.

I want to voice all of them. And they're like, we didn't really think this through, I guess, that we didn't anticipate people saying, why is that one Eminem horny? Why don't they put out an album though? That's just fun. They should put out an album, of course. I'm sorry. This is so perfect. should say that. In announcing Purple, Mars put out an ad with the character singing an original

song, I'm Just Gonna Be Me. The song features four real-life artists, saxophonist Grace, Kelly, dancers and choreographers, Devin Santiago, and Kolo Kag, and opera singer Anthony Roth Costanzo. Mars also launched Eminem's Fund, the capital hot fund. Okay, here we go. This is the song, I'm just going to be me. One dollar from every stream of this will go to sing for hope. Here we go. I'm the new Eminens. It's so cute. Do I have what it takes? I want to be the best

or even pretty good would be great. She's a little unsure. I have to admit. Terrible rhyme, yeah. Just be yourself. And you can do it. That's the wrap on the upper singer.

Thank you, Mr. Plantman. I think it's time. Fuck the purple Eminem. I'm on Fox's side. I disagree wholeheartedly. I support the purple and I support Amber Ruffin. Paul loves it because he's purple today. I am purple today and I'm going to do the best I can.

I have nothing against Amber Ruffin, of course. Nothing against Amber Ruffin. But I do, I do, I think I'm on the record with this. I despise the M&M characters. See, I think that they are my family. Oh, I feel extremely connected. You have a family. But I feel that they are the real family.

You have Lauren. An extended family. And I feel, no, I feel. I feel extremely connected to these characters. And when she changed out of the boots, I thought, where'd they go? You know, does she have a closet? Is she going to put them back? Yeah.

Who's doing the voices of the other ones now? We've got J.K. Simmons was the red. J.K. Simmons replaced John Goodman? Goodman. Did he? Yeah. Why did that happen? Why did this happen?

John Goodman did like the first round of ads and then he was like, I don't want to do this anymore. He said he didn't want to? That's what I'm assuming. Don't you assume it? Why would you fire John Goodman? That's what I'm wondering. He's a Goodman. Man. He's been around so long.

So who's the red now? Time for some new blood. The red, I thought, was John Lovitz. I don't know if it's somebody different now. Do you want me to look this up? Yes, I do. Can you believe we're talking about M&Ms again? You know, we can't, we can't stop.

I think we still have a taste test in order. We have a lot of flavors we didn't get around to. There's one that's just ash? Yeah. That's bold. It's the retired characters. J.K. Simmons, yellow. Billy West, red.

Oh, Billy. That was good for him. John Goodman yellow. John Lovett's red. Vanessa Williams Brown. Really? Lisa Williams. Eric Kirchberger, orange.

Okay. I'll take your word for it. This is like the opening credits. Yeah. Blue. Rob Pruitt. Okay. So they really spent their money on John Goodman and J.K. Simmons and then they're just like,

oh, John Lovitz. I assume John Lovits. I actually think Billy West would probably get a good amount of money. Cree. Cree Summer. No, Cree's amazing. Cree is one of the best artists in the world. Chocolate bar. Phil Hartman.

Chocolate bar. This must have been years and years ago. Before they made Eminem's round? Who was it? Phil Hartman. Played the chocolate bar? Chocolate bar. Oh, wait.

Someone we know. Caramel voiced by David Cross and one other. When did, okay, so it didn't even get said. When did caramel get a chance? I don't know. The caramel, by the way, was square with David Cross-style glasses. I remember that. The caramel is square?

Caramel is square, but no candy coating. Was this like when, wait, wait, wait. Was this when Phil Hartman and David Cross came together to, excuse me. Finally, they put aside their differences to burp. My throat is actually my chest is burping. I just have to make it clear because you know how when you're burping you can control it? but when it's here, you can't. I think I know what you mean.

I think I know what you mean. Anyway, I think that they smashed the caramel and the bar together to make a caramel bar. But this just happened and Phil Hartman's been dead for decades. When did that just happen? I'm saying it was decades. David Cross, no, David Cross just became the caramel. Oh, he did? This is a recent thing.

That's a recent thing? I believe, unless they reissue the old commercial that I didn't do. Unless they reissue it? Can you please, can you please Google the David Cross commercial? We're fucking getting it done today. We are untow of it. We're on the ball. Please look up that information.

All right. Here we go. This is... Do we really have to choose him to be our next spokesperson? Seems like a good fit. But he's so boring. I'm yawning just talking about him. Well, it's our job to change that.

Uh, guys, I think he can hear us. Hmm. Sounds like you're on the fence. Why don't I just leave you my resume? Yes. It's laminated No, thanks You're hired

Caramel has been square For far too long Uh, ow Try caramel L M&Ms Okay, so they I see He's square It was an origin story

And then they They have candy coating That like surrounds him Yeah And it traps him And then we eat him I love it Great

And the other M&Ms They want this to happen How would they Like we're hiring a new person To get a new one of us to get eaten. Well, they want, they, you know,

they need, they don't make, they don't make sense. I hate them. They don't exist in the bags. They are a representation of a flea. They're,

they're, they're having sex with other M&Ms and creating these babies that we then eat. But, but, but,

but, but, we're eating their children. Yeah, because you don't ever see any one of them get bitten. This to me,

oh, there is one that gets bitten. This to me is like the movie cars in that there's such a fundamental problem with the concept that I can't get on board. Now, what's wrong with the movie Cars? Cars don't talk.

That's a huge issue for me. Number one and done. When I saw Finding Nemo, I thought, because this couldn't happen. Toy Story? Toys don't talk. A fish can't get lost. The Toy Story, though, kind of works for me because I'm like, maybe they talk when I'm not looking.

Toy Story, the main issue for me was at the beginning when that lamp bounced up and down, and I was like, I'm out. Wow, that was way early in the movie. That was like the first second. Yeah, I was just like, fuck this. Wow. Their production card doesn't make any sense.

What did you think was going to happen when you sat down? Well, I thought a lamp would be stationary and just sitting there. Maybe someone would turn it on. Have you seen the brave little toaster? How brave and how little. And how toast? I've never seen that. I've never seen any of those.

You know, I really loved it when I was little and I will tell you. Doesn't hold up. Doesn't hold up. Is that a Miyazaki? Is it? No, it can't be. No, I think it's a. Okay. That's impossible.

You're saying a guy who can make a moving castle, can't make a Toaster Brave? Nope. It's an animated musical film directed by Jerry Reese. Based on the 1980 novella, the same name by Thomas M. Dish. Based on a novella. The Braveville Toaster. Shocking. Anyway, I remember I loved that movie and found it extremely calming as a child.

And yeah, it just doesn't. What appealed to you about it? I just thought it was sweet. The concept of being brave? Because you were such a fucking coward. No, they were just sweet little character. And, yeah, I was afraid. It was afraid.

Oh, my God, you don't, okay, we're out of recap. Oh, Milf Island? No, but I do need to see that. Milf Manor, whatever. I just learned about that today. Milf Manor. Yeah, if you were worried that I wasn't watching it, let me just assuage your fears. Let me assume you watch that alone.

I watched you with my daughter. Okay. You're like, your mommy's one of these. I'm watching special forces. Oh, I heard about this. Okay. I know somebody who was asked to be on that show I can't reveal

You got to tell us during the break But that show is actually Taking me all different places emotionally I was laughing I was crying I cried probably four times There's been three episodes Okay That's one one episode

You've got three times per episode Dang They are doing They are pushing themselves to the brink Kate Gosselin I mean We got Dr. Drew Pinsky We got we got

Okay now I have to know why is it called special forces? So these are like celebrities. Yes. And Dr. after a fashion. Are taken to Jordan where they are where they are on the special forces training ground that the real special forces train on.

And they have to do all sorts of challenges with no luxuries. No luggage. They're pushed to their breaking point. No clothes. They're naked the entire time. They lose people every episode. okay for different reasons they're either like it's usually like they're yeah that's one of them injury treason they don't kick you out you just have to keep going so basically they say they don't

kick you out just basically they lose people because people are like they can't take it anymore for different reasons really so it could just go on forever no I mean there's there's an end date it's self-selected 10 days but it's really hard and how many days would you last my bet I could do I swear to God watching the first episode I was like I'd be out No, I'll do all 10. Here's the first thing you have to do. Here's the first thing you have to do. What?

They hover a helicopter over the ocean. Yeah, exactly. Over the ocean. You are in it. Then you stand on the side of it. I'm super remote control. You lean off the side of it and you stand stick straight. And do, does your head get chopped off by the blade?

Yes. No. And you cross your arms over your chest and you fall backwards as stick straight as possible because you will automatically fall head first down like a pencil into the, water but your head goes in the water yes but if you just your hair and if you bend your body a little you're slapping the fucking ocean slapping no slapping the base okay you're slapping to base and it hurts we had a neck injury first episode no Jesus Christ yeah real bad well I don't want to give it away give it away give it away give it away give it away now skip 10 seconds if you don't

know Kate Gosselin and she broke her neck broke her neck and she had to And she was really upset because she really wanted to try. She was so afraid that she broke her neck. Well, yeah, but she was actually so afraid to go in the water that she was like, she couldn't believe, you know, she actually did do it. She did do it and broke her neck. You should be afraid of these things. I know.

And there's a lot of really scary stuff that happens. Like another really scary one is that they put you underwater in a like. Again with the water. There's a lot of water. That's the stuff that's really sticking out to me because I'm most afraid of it. But you're in like a, it's like a simulation of like a, it's like a Jeep that has all the windows out. So it's attached to change. so it's your you buckle in and you get lowered into the ocean and you have to hold your breath for 20 seconds and then they'll tap you and you have to undo your seatbelt and swim out of the truck so so all in all you're holding your breath for probably 31 no probably 25 by the time you're out of there and how long do you think you can hold your breath I can't two seconds I remember reading a Batman comic when I was young where he was like I can hold my breath for two minutes and I was like oh that's what everyone should be able to do right yeah and then

And it's about you, I think you can hold your breath for, like, what? How long can you do it? Eight seconds, maybe. Before you start panicking. Yeah, but the panic. Well, it's all the panic. It's all mind games because it's, they're like, physically, everyone here can do all of these things. Why don't they call it mind games?

Yeah. It's physical. But this Olympian, Nostia, what's her last name? Cominich. Perostia. No. But anyway, she was extremely, she's like, I can't hold my breath at all. At all.

It goes through this whole thing. She ends up doing it. But there is a twist to it, which I'll let you watch if you want to see. Okay. Well, this is amazing. It's honestly really good. Mike was like, I don't care. You can put it on.

I'm not going to pay attention. I go, you'll be hooked. And he was riveted. And he was. What was the Kate Winslet record on Avatar 2? She was like saying that she was doing it for four minutes. She held her breath for an insane amount of time. Really?

Yeah, yeah. And I just saw it the other day. And A, you can't even tell who she is. Right. So it was pointless. Who cares? That's crazy. And B, the movie's bad.

So it was pointless. Well, they're advertising it everywhere I look. It's on Jeopardy. They're putting it into the questions. They're making it commercials. I'm like it's literally everywhere. I saw a poster for it on the way here and the poster looks so dumb. It made me mad. I've never seen the first one.

Look, we're sorry, Avatar lovers. I'm not. But homie don't play that. Three hours long. Where's the homie the clown movie? That is what people have been demanded. Look, we have to take a break. All right. I don't make the rules. We'll be right back. Pop quiz hot shot. You know how some things are just better together?

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slash freedom. Free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash freedom. We're back. We're back. And, you know, we were talking about caramel and I was thinking the other day like, A, how did they figure

that out and how to do it because I've made it I've made it a couple of times and it's hard you've made caramel yes it's very hard caramel I made a I made a I made a I don't know which one I say anymore I'm just copying I made a cake that caramel caramel I did the I did the Scott Scott please caramel I think the correct way is caramel but I grew up saying caramel caramel caramel so do yeah I want like a caramel corn caramel sunday caramel it's caramel chocolate with caramel Carmelcon. Sounds crazy. Carmel community.

Carmel corn. Carmelcommon. Carmelcom. Carmel communion. So it's a process, and I burnt it the first time. I'm sure you did. Why are you so sure of that dear? Wait, S-PAM Risk is calling me.

What does she want? Hello, Scott. Are you ready to risk it all? Hello? Hello? Hello? thousands on home heating bills that's the part that bothers me the most

is that it starts in the middle of the fucking thousands on home heating bills but they start talking the first ring but that's why they're so messed up it's like don't it need the technology hasn't evolved enough you need to wait for the hello yeah sometimes there are the ones

that you do say hello and then it starts and that's actually creepy too so I don't know yeah so you can't win okay but how did they ever figure out like oh okay we're gonna take this sugar and if we do this to it it'll do you know why they figured it They were just fucking around with it.

They were bored. They were like, life used to be so boring. Yeah. I think also a lot of things like that come about from accidents. Okay. Where they're trying to do something else. You're trying to cure polio?

And then they're like, yeah, they're trying to, always trying to cure polio. Instead. Pinot brittal. Goofy, gooey, gooey. But I, but it's really like, how do we have chocolate? You know what I mean? How do we have pasta? How do we have the pencil?

Bread. How do we have? A table. But it led me to wondering. I'm so hungry for pinball. Have we figured out everything at this point? Yep. You know what I mean?

That's why they're getting crazy with it now when you go to a restaurant. They're like, we put, you know, freeze-dried snails on top of a pile of fake dirt. Because we've figured out everything to do with everything. And now we're just like trying to create. There was a, this may be an apocryful story, but some patent office in New York or something closed, wanted to close. wanted to close in 1811 or something like that because they thought they invented everything right that's it what yeah yeah now that's just silly yeah they're fools that's just not seeing the power of the human mind they hadn't

heard of meta yeah world peace speaking of basketball yes why were you at a basketball game the other day first professional basketball game last night you'd been to a lot of amateur wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait you've never been no professional basketball never have never I've never followed basketball. That is absolutely. But you haven't just ended up at one? No, I haven't. You haven't just been walking by an arena and said, hmm, I think I'll go it here.

I have ended up at basketball games with no intention of being a basketball. You know what I mean? I don't know that. Like maybe somebody invited me once. I don't know. But if so, it was a long time ago. But I just have never gone. Didn't you have fun?

It's so fun. I had a great time. Well, here's the thing. So Christine Nangle, who's from Philly and Joe Wenger, who's from Philly. Yes. He hides it. Christine, he tries to. Yeah, I can always tell.

But Christine writes for the Simpsons. Yeah, she's so funny. Did she write Do? Yeah. She was responsible for the apostrophe. Oh, so it used to be just... Well, they needed a woman to come in there and go, this is actually...

grammatically incorrect. So somebody at the Simpsons' music department has this box. Da, da, da, da, da, da da da da da da da da da. Yeah, we just... Because of the music department for a second. We're always doing that. So this is at the crypto.com arena. Oh, tales from the crypto.

I was almost too scared to go. I'm really going to need things to just be named, just fun names. I know. I know. Just Staples, you know, is a company, but we never minded it because that was the original. Well, you know, yeah, I think a lot of times I let companies slide if it was what I always was used to. And now it's a new company.

I'm not so happy. I'm like, if it's just one word, but like saying a web address is so. irritating? No, and I think it should be like the Sparkle Dome. Like, I don't think it should have anything to do with anything. Well, also, it should be the whatever forum. Like, I don't mind that. You know what I mean? Like, if it's a, it shouldn't just be crypto and then arena. I think, I think it should be, you know, whatever the name of the building is sponsored by whatever. So you can still power it by the name of the thing. And it's like over the years. Crypto.com is not going to be the name for the next 50 years. It seems like they wouldn't get their money's worth if that were the case,

you know? Because no one, everyone would just. drop it. Well, they'll get their monies worth because crypto's going to be around forever. So she has invited me and another guy. Did she like come to your house and get down on one knee and bring flowers? What was the process? She didn't propose that I go. She just invited. Have you been on the Simpsons? I just did The Simpsons last year. Yeah. I was wondering if this is the connection happening. You just did you Homer? I'm sorry. I won the contest where you get to do Homer. Paul, this is a really big deal that you were on the Simpsons. It was very exciting.

That's a really big deal. It was very exciting. Congrats. People who listen to this show, listen to our voices and put us on things. Look, because if TV shows are on for 40, 50 years, eventually I'll be on them. And now, has that aired? Yes. Oh, my God.

Well, what's the, what's the episode? I don't remember the episode. The world's biggest dumb shit comes to Springfield. What's your character? It's the first bleeped episode, kind of. It was a succession. sort of parody and so I played the the son of the

John Liffgal character who was playing the fuck off character. Okay. That's great. You played Jeremy Strong maybe. I think so. It was not that one to one. It was more the plot was more succession type plot with a rich family and everything. There was a rival to grandpa Simpson they had rival companies I don't remember a lot about it honestly I still haven't seen it

did you just record the words I just recorded not in order not in order they gave me they gave me just a sheet of words not even dialogue and said we'll take care of this like do you have to be like

I had to do every word with every inflection I could think of mad angry sad scared camera and how would a camera say But it was doing the Trump thing It was very

I forgot about that What was that again? What was it? Man, woman camera TV This was to prove he didn't have Alzheimer's or something I was remembering four words in a row or something Yeah Well I think what happened was he was like

They give you four words You're supposed to remember four or I think it was five But then he just pointed at things in the room and said I'm like man woman camera TV For example But those weren't the actual words He got us. Why would you need an example?

It's like we all can... Yeah, we all know that there are more than four words. So the sixers we're playing. The Philadelphia, 76ers. Seventy-sixers. Now, they were... This is based upon the fact that one of the most famous things to happen in Philadelphia was in 1776, fill in the blank.

What happened? Scott, I hate to correct you. It's because Philadelphia was the home to the first person to turn 76 years old. Oh, wow. Because life expectancy is... used to be so low. I'm actually sorry to tell you that you are both wrong. Why? The Mars candy company is from Philadelphia and it's to represent the 76 flavors of Eminem that they will eventually be. Oh, there will eventually be. It was hopeful. Yeah. It continues to be.

Hershey is by the way is from Pennsylvania. Well, is that special. That's true. I've been there. Chopin broccoli. Could it be Satan? So did you like it when they had a little. Did you like it? I think they had the lamp post with the Hershey Kiss. This is what I've heard. They, Hershey Park is fun. Yeah. Well,

and it smells like chocolate. I'd like to go there. You go on a little ride. I'm sure I've talked about this. I'd like to go to there. You go on a little ride and then I thought it was going to be like Willie Wonka where they just like go. Here's a whole bunch of candy. Yeah.

And instead you get like into a gift shop and you have to buy it. And my parents were like, we're not buying candy. That's fine. We're not buying. Or like you can have one thing or something like that. Is it the same price that isn't CBS? That sounds like the factory, not the amusement park. Oh, no, no, we went to the factory.

I didn't know there's maybe the amusement park. There's a candy amusement park. Oh, that's really cute. Hershey Park, where they have like a guy dressed up as a package of Reese's cups. You know what I mean? That's insane. Like that, yeah. What guy?

So did you love the game? Did you love when the dancing girls came out in the middle and other things? Shook their money makers. Shook their little duky makers? Ew. It was a first. Being a dad is. changed for the same um i had never um uh been in one of those boxes before oh that's really fun

it was insane that changes everything because you can like really be free with your words you can go drink you can go to the bathroom very easily you shit right there in front of everyone that's so fun so was this a simpson um sponsored event no it was not they just have whoever it is has this box and we were not we were not the only ones there there was one of the people that is that is one of the owners of the box was also there with his family. Owners of a little box. I hope I'm not blowing up this man's spot, but the man who wrote Black Panther was also there with it.

That's awesome. Did Ryan Coogler write the movie? I know he directed it. You co-wrote it at the very least. Let me look it up. Well, maybe it was the other guy. Well, let's get this right. But so we get to, you know, we have a great view of the game.

Yeah, it's nice. The Sixers won. I'd never really watched. Joe Robert Cole? I think so. Yes, they called him Joe. They called him King Cole. We did not meet for some reason.

Oh. You did not write Black Panther. No, I did not. It was only people who had also written Black Panther were allowed to say a little to him. Yeah. I was nervous around the strangers who were very, everybody was very nice.

Oh, yeah, but sometimes you're on space, you don't go around and say, hello, my name is Paul. But I do feel like, in situations like that, I do feel like hillbilly. You know what I mean? Oh, I feel like peer trash. I'm like, oh, my purse snacks.

You're used to this? Also, some people like come late and everyone's talking already and then it's like, oh, there's a new person. There's also a screen with a football game on that sometimes people are taking a break and watching the football game. Right. But I really, I really enjoyed it. And I was like, oh, I will probably watch basketball on TV now. Oh, wow. Okay.

And the Sixers won. Oh, great. The last, that last minute of play is like. That's all you got to see. It's so wild. Well, that's why I've always said that basketball. well game should just be one shot whoever gets it first you only get one shot at half time they have people that they have like a sort of little obstacle course so people from the crowd

can like they have to run through these things grab a basketball shoot it to get money yeah and so there were two guys the one guy was dunking left and right he missed just like the last two but he made these like like trick dunks where he would um you know bounce it on the floor and then catch it It was great. Then the second guy did bad. So was the first guy also just an audience member? So he was doing trick dunks as an audience member? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And the other guy was, the second guy was trying to do it and it was not working. Why do you try to do trick dunts? Just do your thing. I imagine this is part of the thing. Like they've probably been doing this forever. And it's like now we're- Those specific guys? No, I think.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So now people know. The activity. They know what they're getting, what they're, they're signing. I used to like when they would, it would be like, okay, if you can make this basket from half court. But they do love when, I like when the, they do with kids.

They do with a kid, really, well, how young. And a kid, uh, this kid was probably like nine, ten, something like that. Okay. I feel like the older I get, the less I can judge kids ages. Right. Where it's like, oh, he was like five and he's in high school. Um, I don't, I don't want to say on Mike. Um, how old do I think you are?

Yeah. Like your, your internal age? Yeah. Of my internal organs. How old do you think people say? Yeah, yeah. I've been to two basketball games. What is going on?

What? How have you never been to basketball games? How many have you been to the two is such an unrespectable number? She's from Chicago. Yeah. Oh. You know, you know, she's a d'n, d'n, d'nobbles, all that shit. I'm trying to do that song.

Yeah, that's true. That's where I started. I did see Michael Jordan play. You're doing Axel F. But this is just wild to me. You've been to two. How many baseball games have you been to? Oh, a million.

Right. Well, let me tell you. my two basketball games. Basketball is better than baseball. I went to the Lakers once and I sat in the very back row and this is when Dennis Robbenham was on the Lakers and I bought it. The worm. I bought a Dennis Rodman shirt. That sounds great. Do you still have it? No. Should. And then I went to one with our good friend Armin who has like regular. The cannibal. Yeah. And he bit my butt. During the game. No, we went with Armin who has like, I think he and his family have season tickets or something like that.

And it was like relatively close. It was very fun. That's really fun. Yeah. It's very exciting when you go with someone who has close seats. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've had that experience a few times and that makes it feel really special because you're seeing the sweat on their faces and like all the expressions and everything. It's really different.

I feel that sport in particular to be down on the floor for it, I could see how exciting it was. would be like the best seats I've ever had at a baseball game was uh just to the uh left of home plate at uh i would like to go to a baseball game if i was really close it's very exciting but not all of the play happens there but if you're like court side and you're right there and they're just going back and forth in this one area yeah you're seeing fucking everything yeah do you want to be buy a basket or do you want to be half court like half court i guess would be ideal right well i've behind a basket and that was kind of great because then you see them running towards you and jumping up and stuff and do you get scared you're like oh and i'm always like here's the thing

i didn't know about uh professional basketball is that when the when the teams are down at one end there's a guy at the other end frantically mopping up the floor oh oh wow i know i never never occurred to me yeah never occurred to me but a guy runs out like oh no oh yeah got to keep it really shiny or because if one of the players gets injured they'll soup. Yeah. Exactly. You know, I don't, I like it more in person than watching on TV because I feel like

they add so many distractions on, like the talking. They were worried about the, there's a lot of shit happening in person. And ads. They were worried when they started televising. What ads? Yeah. Because the ads, there's everything is like. On the thing.

On the thing and then everything, there's streaming ads around. You're not hearing them telling. You're not hearing them like, Burger King is the number one place. You're just like watching. Exactly. Yeah. But it is like the, because the things are changing every two seconds. But that's to keep you engaged.

I think it would be interesting to write down every ad you see in a day. Fun. You should do that. Yeah. Okay. Report your findings. You have to leave this room, though. Weren't they afraid, though, when they started televising games, no one would ever want to go in person anymore?

They say that about everything. Yeah. It's just not true about anything. No. No. You know from the pandemic, everyone would rather be in person. Even the pandemic, people were like, I don't know if I want to live stream. You know, after the thing is over, should we live stream?

because then people won't want to come and it's like no they will no it's great to live stream now it's like it's open of a whole new world I did my show on Saturday and had it was live stream and how was that show? You can still watch oh my god it was so fun Jason's so funny you'll look me up with the code though so I don't have to pay for it yeah I'll send it to you

um no but uh they you can still get no it sounds like a great improv show yeah geez if you're listening to this you can still get the live stream who cares all right let's go to a break No, that's actually important for me to say. Nope. Well, hi, everybody.

It's Julia Louis Dreyfus from the Wiser to Me podcast. And I'm not going to talk about food waste this time. I'm going to talk about food resources. All that uneaten food rotting in the landfill, it could be enriching our soil or feeding our chickens because it's still food. And the easiest and frankly, way coolest way to put all its nutrients to work is with the mill food recycler. It looks like an art house garbage can. You can just toss your scraps in it like a garbage can, but it is definitely not a garbage can. I mean, it's true. I'm pretty obsessed with this thing. I even invested in this thing. But I'm not alone. Any mill owner

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We haven't done a voicemail in a long time. If you would like to call us, here's, there's some options for the number. You have options? We know you have a lot of options when it comes to call, I guess. And like for one, for instance, you could call ha-ha-la-in-poo. But here's some other, here's some other ones. I, a gala host. Hi, a gal, a host.

That's what Lauren would say. Ha-ha-jag-opped. Gag-a-jag-a-jag-a-jag-a-jag-a-jag-j-a-j-j-f. hag a la host gag a la host all great great options actually works

I think gag a la host is maybe one of the best how about this we do gags ha ha ha la host ha la host ha ha la host ha la host

ha la host ha la host though because we're from Los Angeles now if you want to add a number ha ha la host hag claims eight I like that

gag Agalahoe, 78. Gag a la ho? 78. Or gagga jag opus. Wow. So we have a ton of options. Some of those sound way too long.

It's 424-252-4-6-78. Gagga-jag-a-jag. You know, you could either write that down or memorize gag-a-jag-jag-opis. Gagga-a-jag-jag-Opis. But gag-jag-a-jag-tas. That's way too many letters. It's one extra letter. Okay, sweet.

Which I did say. Here we go. here's here's one Hi guys First of all I want to say I love you so much You're my favorite people in the whole world And my heart is filled with joy

I love it Second of all I was wondering What is the worst date Each of you has been on Okay thanks bye Oh God Worst date Oh God

I'm sure I was the worst date In any situation like that He took me to this place Um I Let's see I okay I got I got one example okay my friend who I'm sure I told this before but we worked at not's berry farm I was in security in the line and he was a monster in one of the rides and he

would take off his monster mask and show he was handsome and then say go talk to my friend out work in the line and we'll set up a date and he was handsome he was handsome he was handsome So he was trying to get with this girl who had a friend, and he was like, let's all go out. She has a friend. And basically, like, we need someone for her friend, and it'll be great. So I go over to his place, and we're what, I remember very... We've definitely told this story before.

Remember very vividly a live Rolling Stones concert was on. And my friend who's a drummer was criticizing Charlie. Watts's technique. And that's a little detail that I probably haven't told. That's new. And so... It's like the L.A. Peterson story. Two girls came.

We meet them. Two girls, one cup. We sit down, we chat, we meet, we're watching the Rolling Stones thing. We stand up to leave. They go, okay, let's go. I stand up with them and the girl looks at me and goes, oh, he's coming to? that's gotta hurt yeah

they thought these two ladies thought they were gonna get off with this one guy I think they were trying to threesome with with the hands can you blame them I can't really because threesomes are great I just remember dates that were not there was nothing interesting about them being bad but just that at the time knowing this person is not interested in me oh yeah yeah I well I went on a date in high school um with someone that this is what I was because I was thinking I'm a bit of a serial monogamous

so I've only gone on a handful of dates that didn't turn into relationships but so I would say any of those probably weren't great because nothing happened after it but Oh I also did have a date with the woman that Charlize Theron played in the movie Monster Oh, no, you want to hear another one? Is that what I'm hearing?

Is that what I'm hearing? Yeah, you're hearing it. Uh-oh, did I? Spaghettio. Spaghetti-oh. All right, let's hear another one. Here we go. Hello.

Hi, this is Chase. I had a hypothetical. Your name is a verb. If you were some sort of endangered species, what would you be? The fuck? There's more. What animal on the endangered species list would you? He's rephrasing.

Oh. Okay, I'm going to actually look that. you have to be endangered. Okay, hold on. You have no choice. Okay, thanks. Bye. Great.

I'm going to look up the animals. There's... If I could look up the animals. Okay, so, like, who... What are the endangered animals? Because I know... Chicken. Chicken is one.

Definitely. We're down to our last three billion chickens. I'm going to read you the ten most endangered animals. Okay. These all made the list, okay? And congrats to them all. Is this an FBI list? Yes, and they want to get them all.

The Javan rhinos, okay? I've never even heard of it. That's why it's that endangered. Amur leopard. The Sunda Island Tiger. Mountain gorillas. Tapanuli orangutang. Yanksy finless porpoise.

What? Black rhinos. African forest, elephant. Sumatron orangut. Sumitran orangutang tang Hawk spilled turtles So, you know I would just say

Rhinos, tigers monkeys, elephants You know, where are you falling? I think a porpoise right Because you're at least So these are just like strains of certain animals That was like so specific that I can't even deal

Like I'm like just give me something That porpo sounds good Or maybe those mountain gorillas I don't know why this is another thing people search for Endangered Species in Ohio And the first one is Indiana a bat. Indiana.

Yeah. We don't get a lot of those around here. I kind of want to be one of those Indiana bats. I don't want to be that. I think I would be, if I was an endangered species, I would be like an elephant. Because no one would fuck with you? They're so sweet.

They get killed all the time. Yeah. They're just a... I'd be one of those turtles because they live a long time. Because you want to go turtle, turtle, turtle. I want to go turtle turtle turtle. Also, you know ninja. I know ninja

You know ninja I'm saying you know ninja What is yours going to be No ninja No ninja, no ninja No ninja, no problem I'll be a monkey gorilla A monkey gorilla

A monkey gorilla Why do we say orangutan? I want to be a lake gorilla Yeah You're at the lake gorilla Yeah you have a lot of signs around your house Yeah Yeah yeah

And I'm a gorilla Great Why do we say orangutan Is that what you Why do we say orangutang Because we're dumb I think it's were dumb, yeah.

Orangutan. But it's, it's, what, at this point, just call it orangutang, because that's what everyone calls it. It's also more fun to say. Yes, call the thing. If you're going to put a rang in there, and then you're going to go up to put a rang on it. Put a G at the end. Exactly. It's true.

Oh my God. I saw a fucking video of these guys narrating, um, uh, like narrating in nature. I can't say nature video, but an orangutan is standing in front of this. guy wearing a cardigan like zip up the narrators have to do it while the animals are there standing in front of a guy and so the monkey the orangutan is like I want that sweater

like he's indicating of the guy like he lets he lets the orangutan unzip the sweater and then he takes it off it talks slower and the guys these guys are like oh no is you going to put it on is he going to put it on and then he the the orangutan like just throws it over his head and these guys are cracking up. Then he does this twist with it and all of a sudden he's wearing it. Whoa. His arms are inside it and these guys lose their minds. He put it on

better than a human does. Yeah. He figured he's got some great method of putting it on. It was inside out though. We should use the orangutan method to put on all of our clothes. Yeah. Because this sounds amazing. They should have shown him wearing pants gloves, shoes, spats

hat, monocle. Monocle. You know what? I'd like to be a Tasmanian tiger. Wow. They were thought to be extinct for many years, but somebody cited one recently. Really? That's amazing. They thought they were long gone.

Isn't it wild how we, you know, they say we only know like 10% of what's happening in the ocean or something? No, we keep track on 10%. No, there's something like there's, it goes so far down. Yeah, we don't know. I've never heard the 10% thing. Well, I made up the number. I've heard that for brains, which is also bullshit.

Well, that's what I'm using to tell you this fact. What do we think about P-24? P-24? Is that his name? P-22. Show some respect. And he's dead. What do we think about him?

I find it odd that everyone is so... You know, everyone was so up in arms. There was like a... There was a funeral for him or something like that. It was honestly confusing, and I don't mean that in an unfeeling way. I just agree with you. I'm just like, I didn't really follow it that closely. I was kind of like, oh, there's a mountain lion.

And then everyone's like, P-22 was like my hero. and like everything he did was for me. It was like it just truly feels like some other responses were. But I will say that I did not follow the antics of P-22 too closely. But every once in a while you'd hear there was a sighting or whatever. And I was unexpectedly sad when I heard that he died. I felt a little sad because I was watching them on the news, you know, kind of showing a lot of footage. And I was like, oh, that's a little, it's sad to watch an animal get put down.

Well, yeah. It's like especially, you think he'll be in the immemorial? He was a local celebrity, you know. I guess, but I never want to see, like, when people go, oh, I saw him. Yeah, I'd be frightened. I'd shit my pants. Oh, absolutely. I'd be frightened.

I'd shit your pants, too. Well, and he attacked, he attacked multiple dogs, right? Paul, get over here, shit my pants. Yeah. Yeah, because he, it turned out. A baby? Yeah. He'd been hit by a car.

And so he was acting. He was acting erratically. Yeah, but my, but, yeah. Wait, there was a baby involved? Don't you come after my baby. Well, are you kidding? Of course. I'd kill that thing.

He didn't attack. He didn't kill the baby, though. You wanted to? I want to sometimes. Sure. What happened? I missed that. Cying on a plane.

They weren't really highlighting that piece when they were giving the memories of P-22. Yeah. Well, you know. Remember that time he attacked a baby the other day? Let's keep them around. B-22, we'll miss you. All right. Do we have a three-cher that you wanted to do?

Oh, well, do we have time? Well, yeah. I should we do one more voicemail. What do you think? All right, let's see one more voicemail. We'll do a three-cho and then. Okay, here we go. So this is another voicemail. Another one. Another one. Hey, Paul, Scott, Lauren. This is Joey from Denton. Hi, Joey. I was just curious, how many cuckoo clocks do you think a guy would have to own before people talk bad behind his back calling him that weird cuckoo clock guy? Thanks.

Well, I'll tell you, our neighbor was an odd. an oddball. Our neighbor when we lived in Toluca Lake we were in a condominium. He's that old man that made the puppet

that came alive? Yes. And he had many cuckoo clocks. No, we had an oddball neighbor who when I moved in my front door

was open and she just wandered in and was like, hello! And she mentioned that Like, she wanted to ask, she's seen me around and wanted to ask if I wanted to go get ice cream. And then she also mentioned that half of her brain had been taken out.

Yes. And she was. I want to say, you imitate her voice the same way every time. Yeah. No, she had a very distinctive voice. So she, she, um, one day I came back to my place and found that, uh, half of my DVDs have been stolen. Wow. And...

In their place, half a brain. So we do, we have a suspect. No, so Kulab went to her place to, like, warn her that someone had stolen some stuff. And she's like, they're not in my place. Do you want to take a look? What? Very guilty, very guilty sounding. Anyway, so, but Kulap was over there once, and she was like, she had a collection of Kuku

clocks for one thing. And then she was like, took her into the... the bathroom to show her around. There's a big cuckoo clock above the toilet and that's how big. You really don't need that up there. Yeah. You don't need something. Well, you don't want to have to twist around to look at the time. It's very helpful.

You wanted to come over your head and down in front of your eyes. Or if you're standing up after you shit and then it's the clock strikes 12. Suddenly he bonged right in the back of your nape. But then, then she was like she had the shower curtain drawn and she pulled it and there was just cat litter in the bathtub. Well, that's convenient. And then

cut out the middleman. Oh, maybe it was cat food. I can't remember. Cool up. I actually don't like any idea. Like in cans or just loose? Just loose. And then... That's okay. That's actually so disgusting.

But then I... Then she also had like open the closet, I think, and she had all these baby clothes. And she was... I dress up the clocks. She was like, I don't have children, but I love their clothes. That's possibly the creepiest thing anyone's ever said. Yeah. Anyway, so she was real weird.

And then she... What if she just had the cuckoo-claw? but everything else was clean beautiful pristine she had a whole brain I think two is too many I think you know what you know so okay I you know the Kit Kat clock no the old you get to break a piece off of it that the one that's a cat though the eyes go back and forth oh yeah famous Felix isn't it or is it not exactly it's kick cat it's not official Felix merch I've had a few throughout my life but I was weird out I like them but I've only had one, but I like that.

But I've only had one at a time. And Mike got me one recently, which I was so happy about it. Did you already have one? No, but I haven't had one in a long time. It's like, I don't know what happened to it. But I have one. Why aren't you, but the second, it doesn't work anymore, why aren't you getting another one?

They are gifted to me. Because you have a rule. It's bad luck to buy one for yourself. It honestly feels like just if you saw one and you were looking for a present for me, you'd be like, show like that. It's like, it makes sense. And it happens to be something you do like. And I do.

But when I hung it up in the kitchen and I thought, I want 10 of these. Okay? I need 10 and I need them all swinging now. And then I sat there for a bit and realized you were insane. It was so loud that I was like if there's more than one. Oh, it's loud? It's not loud, but I could hear it as I was sitting there eating. And I was like, if I had 10, that would be insane.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it would look really cute. Because you could never get them all synced up. You never could. And even if you could, that'd be maybe worse because it'd be one loud TikTok. Right. We have a cuckoo clock. Yeah, you do.

That's right. It's actually the third host of your podcast. That's right. Does it talk? I can't remember. What does it do? It goes, It's, yeah, it says one of the famous words that it's supposed to say.

It says cuckoo. Coohoo. And we enjoy it very much. The other day, I was. We've talked about this. You turned it off at night or you just sleep? No, there's a sensor. And then when it starts.

It senses when it's night. What it's really funny is like, sometimes you can hear it stop itself. Like, if it's, It goes, coo, uh, it really is. Like, it got caught, like, c cuckoo. Oh, sorry. Sorry, guys. I thought it was morning.

But, um, I, I broke a piece off of it the other day. Oh, just like what I want to do to your ass. Yeah. No, Scott, I need to report you. To H-R? Yeah. But I think that if you have more than one thing like that that makes noise all day long. Yeah.

That's too much. I agree. I agree. I think one. is really where it's at. My grandfather had one of his clocks, a grandfather clock. My grandfather had a grandfather,

we called a grandfather clock. It was just like a... We would say, hey, this is a you. But yours was just like a little... This is a you? Nothing. Because he was a grandfather. Called it that.

Oh, so it was it... You're saying the grandfather clock is a clock who has grandchildren that are clocks. Yes. And then he would say, these are you. Why is it called a grandfather clock? I don't know.

Because it's steadfast and true. Like grandfathers always... I'm looking it up, though, and I'll tell you exactly what. But that's a good question. Why do they call it a grandfather clock? Mr. Wikipedia is going to tell us in just a second. Origin, wait, naming, naming, naming. Also look up controversies.

Personal life. The Oxford English Dictionary states that the popular 1876 song, my grandfather's clock is responsible for the common name grandfather clock being applied to the long case clock. The song was composed by an American songwriter by the name of Henry Clay

Work, who discovered a long case clock in the George Hotel in Pierce Bridge in County Durham in England. When he asked about the clock, he was informed that it had two owners. Two owners. Were they married? After the first owner died,

oh, it had two owners since I thought a conman and had sold it to two different people. And they had to cut it in half. After the first owner died, the clock became inaccurate. And when the second owner died, the clock stopped working altogether. The story inspired Henry to create the song. Grandfather clocks are of a certain height, usually at least 1.9 meters, six feet three inches.

Don't get it wrong. There are also grandmother and granddaughter clocks, which are slightly shorter. No, there are. Slightly shorter. They're a liar and a thief. Why no grandson clock? I know. Why is he?

Why not? When are you going to give me a grandson clock? Come on. I love my curvy clock. That makes sense that it comes from a song. That's why we call birthday cakes, birthday cakes, because it comes from the birthday song. It's really disgusting to be blowing candles out.

And we never knew it until the pandemic. And now if you see it in a movie. I mean, I'm sure there are people out there We're like, I actually only thought that was fucking disgusting. Of course. I actually already washed my hands. I already scrubbed down all my groceries. Well, it's that time because Lauren's texting.

It's not quite what I'm doing. What are you doing? I'm not paying attention. Let's just go. All right, let's just go. But we do want to say, you heard all the numbers. You have a lot of options. If you want to follow us on social media,

Freedom USA is where we are. That's right. And FreedomUSA.g.com, if you'd like to send us a threacher, which will play next episode. We need more. We need more. We need three churs every day. I know we have a lot that we haven't used, but we don't like them. Yeah.

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episodes um go to you know stisher premium or CBB world and then um on tuesdays we're re-releasing the old episodes that's what we call three visiting on the twos that is what we call it all right well i'm paying attention i'm here i don't need to look at you to be listening to you what do you want to tell our listeners oh yeah this is Lauren you have the floor it's whatever whatever you want to say. My favorite endangered species is the tiger. Okay. That's it.

We'll see you next time. Words to live by. Hey there. Hey there, Lemonada listeners. This is Penn and Nava from Podcrushed. We're just dropping in to say that our new book Crushmore. Essays on love, loss, and coming of age is officially

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