Threedom - Threevisiting: I Want Cold Cuts!

Episode Date: August 12, 2025

Threevisiting on the Tues: The Pretzel Gang discuss Paul's birthday, Lauren's time in Chicago and the CBB Tour. Later, they play the Threeture Name That ABC. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Listen ad-free and unlock the THREEMIUM archive on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Wow, E-ZOWY! Wow, e-ZOWY. We yelled it. Today is a very special day. Oh, no. Today is a very special day. Today, it's Paul, it's birthday. It's Paul birthday.

Hi, I'm Paul birthday. Do you need a cake? I have tongues. Come to my birthday cake warehouse. Everyone just assumes it's my birthday because my last name is birthday. Because anybody have the last name birthday? It's a good last name. It's a good last name.

It's your birthday, Mrs. Birthday, of course. Like, do some people have the last name? I think some people have the last name Christmas. Yeah, a lot of people are saying, yeah. Paul Hollywood, of course. Oh, of course. I can't believe that's not my name. Jimmy Chicago.

Yeah, that's real. His last name is Hollywood. Jimmy Chicago? I'm just making people up now. Chuckie, New York. Ronald. Oklahoma. If there is a Ronald Oklahoma out there, please be our fan. We want to hear from you. If your last name is birthday, call in right now for a big prize. Call and right now.

Send us a letter. While you dictate it on the phone. Hi, everyone. Welcome to Threatom. Welcome to Threatom. I'm Paul. It's my birthday. I'm Scott. It's not my birthday. And I'm learning it's not my birthday, but it recently was. So it kind of feels like it is. True. Although you know what? Six days ago is my birthday. And I'm like, it's very much not my birthday anymore. Over. Did we all say happy birthday, do you? I don't know. I know I did. What do you mean? Did you say happy birthday? Did I? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. On the chain or something? Yeah, yeah, everyone acknowledged my special day. That feels like a million years ago. It does. It was literally six days ago and it feels like I was

100 years ago. I'm 110 now. Oh my God, happy birthday. You look great. Thank you so much. Wait, you were 10 last week? Yeah. Yeah. We've always assumed you were in your 20s and 30. No, I was like 20s and 30s. I think when we first met and it's like a one, two, three sort of thing. You were like an old soul. Yeah, for sure. Yes, yes. Wait, what the fuck?

Okay, so two entities on Lauren's birthday, wish her happy birthday on Instagram. Two entities. One was Star Trek on Paramount Plus. Yes, because I'm on that show. Which show? Star Trek on Paramount. Star Trek Lower decks. That's what I'm wondering.

Lower decks. Lower decks. And I play a blue creature. And dynast, you play an Andorian. So they just track every single person who's on that show and wish them happy birthday. Well, that was what he was worried about. Well, because it was Star Trek on Plus and also Dynasty Typewriter, the theater that we performed at. Yeah, yeah.

Now, as of this recording. Yeah. Neither? Star Trek on Plus, yes. Okay. Not only that, but Star Trek, the main Star Trek account. Before most people. Yeah, early in the morning.

Both Star Trek on Plus and the main Star Trek account. They were horning on Maine? what, Star Trek was the first... They were horny for my birthday on me. Star Trek was the first post I got. And I was like, they're on top of this shit. They're on top of this shit. Wow. I appreciate that and I respect it. And I'm an Andalorian. Excuse me.

And I'm the man... I'm the mandelorian. Oh, definitely don't say that. I'm the, I'm an Andorian named Jen. That's right. Okay. And I'm blue. And you're blue. And you have antennae. Yes. Star Wars has blue people in it, right? Yeah. mentioning Star Wars when we're talking about Star Trek. Because that Cadbane is blue.

That's true. Catbane is blue. I wonder if they're the same race. Yeah, for sure. Because they're both set on like planets. Good point. So is Good fellas. Was everybody blue in that?

But here's the thing. As of this recording, I've yet to be wished a happy birthday by Dynasty Typewriter. And what I like about what's happening now is that there's no way they can hear this. Oh, this will be... They can't get a tip to do this. They're still in... They're still in the running to wish me happy birthday, but... Here's my theory.

Star Trek has a list of every single person who's on it and what their birthday is, and they just roll it out every single day. It's like a checklist for whoever runs that account. What else do they have to do? Dynasty Typewriter happened to see a bunch of people wishing Lauren happy birthday that day. No, let me tell you something. Maybe. Dynasty Typewriter puts out a calendar every year.

Oh, they do have everyone's birthday on it. And they have people's birthday. No, they will post about it. Should I look now? Yeah, look now. We got to make sure. We got to have an update. Look now or forever hold my piece.

Yeah. Forever hold your pee. Oh, no. That sounds horrible. Pines. Pines. Now, did they wish you a happy birthday in stories? It was a story.

Huh. It wasn't a main. If you get a main, I'm going to fucking go crazy. This is. But I immediately, I, on Lauren's birthday, I sent those to her and I said, okay. If I don't get one of these, I'm furious. It was really threatening, and it actually kind of ruined my day. Can I just say?

They haven't done it yet. Okay. And I'm sorry to hear it. Day's not over. Day's still young. Certainly not over. It is merely 1024 a.m. I got to say neither of those places wish me a happy birthday on my birthday.

That makes so much sense. It does make a lot of sense. Can I just say really? You always didn't wish me happy birthday? The Pentagon. I didn't hear anything from the queen. Oh, I have some bad news for you. Well, on my birthday, it was still good news.

Can I just say... It was still good news. Good news, the Queen's alive. Bad news. She's going to die about five days later. Every day, and then one day, bad news. Can I just say really quickly that... Really quick. How quick can you do it?

I don't want to say it too fast. Do you want us to time you? No, I don't, because I want the information to be heard. I'll say it once and I'll say it faster. Okay. Hold on. I'm going to time you. Time you saying it the regular way.

Okay, this is good. And then we'll see how fast you can do it. don't press lap all right ready please don't press a laugh even though my last name is lap all right here we go and go okay paul and i have a show coming up and it's on september 24th at dynasty typewriter you can see it in person or you can watch a live stream and you can watch the live stream anytime you want and you can go get the tickets at dynasty typewriter.com that it yeah so you weren't talking to us you were talking to the listeners yeah you said it like oh i have something to say to both of us I was so excited.

Well, you know when someone's listening, they might think that I, they would be interested in whatever I'm going to say. It is very hard to tell because Lauren never looks at us when she talks. I look up the whole time. She looks up the whole time of recording. All right. And if I looked down. It's sort of like a nope situation. Okay.

All right. How fast can you do it? Ready? Okay. And go. Paul and Amish on the message on the other side more. 2.75. A big part of speaking quickly is getting your tongue in there.

Paul and Amish on September 24th, the day is tape. to watch live stream or watch online or watch a person. Now, can I tell you about my fantastic dream? Yeah. Okay. This, I could not, bless you. It wasn't a sneeze. I don't care.

I want God to bless you. I don't want that for that. It was a cough. I don't want that for that. I, this is the best birthday gift I could have woken up to was having this dream. I didn't want to say it. I held back. I had a dream last night.

I was hanging out at your house, Lauren. What? With you and Mike. Wow. And Holly. Oh. And Holly and I were getting along Like nobody's business

Wow She was making her laugh And she was talking She was like I would say things She would repeat them And then we would both laugh Aw Don't ruin this from me

She's so amazing But then I got to take care of her For a night Wow Hey do you want to I kind of do Or even longer

Three years Three years I just got to go them all. Gotta get cigarettes. I just want to get a massage. Could you take her for three years? And then we were, I was taking care of her and we were playing this sort of virtual reality video game.

Oculus. Uh-huh. Well, it was like a Red Dead Redemption kind of thing, but there was no shooting. You just had to find things. There was kissing. So she's like, did. Like, instead of shooting, you're like, I love you. Scott?

What? Who had the dream? I don't know anymore. Martin Luther. It was, oh, okay. I got a lost in the story. He had a dream. So you had the dream.

Sorry, MLK, but this dream, it beats yours. The dream. The dream. That's the dream. And so then we were playing Red Dead. It was like the end of the day. She was having so much fun. Uh-huh.

Yes. And she's finding all the things. And then later we were, we were at, like, whatever place we were staying at. And we were in the, these. So this was not your house. You were, you know, you did a second location. This was like some other place, and then she was asleep in the bed with the little covers up. And so the two people that managed this place, these two women came over to me and said, did you read to her?

And I said, yes, I did, yes. And they're like, okay, all right. I just want to make sure. But you're not just playing video games. Exactly. Yeah. It works like that. Yeah.

Let her look at some paper. It was the best. It was the best dream. That's so cute. I love that dream. Oh, that's so nice. It made me very happy. Oh, she's changing so much.

It's so fun. I saw on one of your private stories. Yeah. You have private stories? Oh, I mean, I think I dreamed this too. You dreamed a green circle around my eye. She was like being funny. She is being funny.

She's like doing things. She knows that she can make you laugh. Yeah. Yeah, she was a really cute bit where she first was like sipping water and then like going like and like spitting it out. at me and then and then she just like put her face up like me me like kind of like a grandpa face and then she like knew it was funny it was so cute does she does she have like cognizance that her parents are improv royalty you know I think she does gather you know um I think that's there she

I mean she obviously knows about improv we left last night to do an improv show Mike and I together our first nights we've only had a few outings since she's been born and this was very exciting actually I was kind of like wow I can't believe we're doing this I'm tired and then we such a fun time. It was a really fun set. Was this holy shit? No, this was convoy's show at the bar and we got like 25 minutes. Yeah. It was nice. And it was really fun and I was like, you know, I don't even know my point. Just that it felt good to be on stage. It felt nice to an improv show. You know, it's been hard with all the theaters being shut down and now we're finding these new little theaters. And now, you know, some of our places

will be coming back. But like the, to be at these kind of random spots, this is John Ennis's theater. Oh, cool. And so that was cool. It was cool. It was like, cool to be in a new place and like doing something different and with Mike and we had fun. That's great. Yeah. And did, I'm glad.

Did you warm up like doing Zip Zapsop or anything like that? We said Zip Zap Zoop. Yes. Um, we we. We, we literally did nothing. And we watched us just walked out on stage. We watched the team before us and then we got up.

Yeah. Wow. That's a good warm up to watch the team before. You kind of go, here's what we're working with. This is the kind of suggestion they got. If they like this. I think we're okay. When does Holla get to see you actually do it, though?

You know, that's the thing. It's like, I need her to see that because I want to need her to understand. So as soon as we can get her to a theater, you know, it's hard because her bedtime is right around the time I go on stage. So we'll just have to see. But yeah, that's definitely imminent. Yeah. I do think about the both of you of like, how do you explain what mommy and daddy does for a living? Like, you know, it's like.

Yeah, I mean, it is weird. How do you explain what mommy and daddy does? It's weird because I think. Being an actor is such a weird job for a person. And podcast. Well, podcaster, I don't think you... How do you explain what's happening right now? How do you explain what we do to your child?

Mommy has to go into a room and talk with her friends. Tell stories and play a game at the end and you're not invited. Just do that with me. No, no, no. Do you think it'll ever be three and a half to him with her? Oh, my God. Three dumb and a little lady? Yes.

And a ghost in the corner? Who's the coach? Cardboard cut out of Scott. Oh, okay. I can't wait. Yeah. For the cardboard cutout. Yeah.

Everything else. That sounds amazing. I ordered that a while ago. You leave and then there's a cardboard and no talking. Oh, so we can do it every we want to it. Put a pencil in his throat. Okay. Sure.

Sure. I thought you could get behind it and then you could pretend you were talking. You put your lips through. Sure. That's what you want to do. We all get to do whatever we want. Okay, okay. So he has no lips, it's just a hole.

And then you put your lips through it. Yes. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. There should be more things like that. I would probably grab like a zucchini and just shove it down. Oh, my God.

Speaking of zucchini. Oh, yeah. What? Paul? I think you've seen on my answering like I got to meet that tortoise. I did see this. I don't know what this is. Now, who is he or she and what is the situation?

Or they? Oh, my God. Our friends bred. and Dana. One day they find in their backyard they just moved to a new place which is very full of wildlife. There's like a bear that terrorizes the neighborhood. By the way, that is actually too

scary for me. It's terrifying. A few people I know live near where a bear goes and I think that's not okay. The woods. Yeah. And the Pope. They both go there. Yeah, they both sit in the woods, right? Side by side. Why does a Pope shit in the woods? Is that a joke?

Some people, it's look, never mind. I don't know it and I'd love to learn. No, you don't want to know it. For my standard set. It's based on two different things. Does a bear shit in the woods? Yes.

Is the Pope Catholic? And then people conflate them and say, does the Pope shit? I knew it sounds familiar. And isn't that funny? And aren't we having fun? I love it. And I think people, when they make jokes, they're so funny and it's so good. And I love it so much.

What if that's Holly's first joke that? And she thinks she came up with it. If she came up with that, I actually would be impressed. But what if she came up with it at 15? I still would be impressed. I think, you know, you're a good mom. Yeah, I think you have to go, like, you're funny, you know? It's just, you came up with that.

Like, if you didn't, if you never heard that, then I'm impressed. Then I would be like Obama. You didn't come up with that. What if Holly? Who's that from? Do you remember Obama said, you didn't build that? Oh, yeah. What if Holly?

I want to know more. Says it and says, I came up with that, but you can tell she's lying. Then I'll go, you know what you need to do. Like her eyes are darting back and forth. I just made that up. When you're a great joke I just made? I still think that would be funny. No, that would be funny, actually.

Did I tell you when I was like 10 or, God, it has to be like 12? I think you did. And then we have to get that. There's absolutely no chance you haven't. Yes. But I was, I remember I was biking home with a bunch of friends from junior high, so I had to be 12. And you covered your eyes. And I sang, hey, guys, let's all shut our eyes.

I sang a song that was like, had some of the lyrics to Def Leberts Pyromaniac. but I changed them or something. Is that a pyromania? Paromania or pyrom. Well, he says, I'm a pyromaniac, so I, maybe it is, yeah. And the album's pyromania. Yeah, but then he sings about him being singularly. I am the pyromaniac of the album title.

I have the very model of a modern pyromaniac. It works, it scans. But I think I sang, I sang like one lyric from pyromania and one of my own or something I said. I came up with that and my friend went, oh, pyromania. Oh, yeah. I made a lie once. Wait, what?

But you were trying to fool them? No, I just, in my head, I kind of came up with a song, but I was like, I think one of these lyrics is kind of familiar or whatever. Oh, so you thought you made it up. I've just straight up lied as a kid. I would just say I, like, I remember lying. Yeah. I remember lying. Wait, so let me talk about the tortua.

Yes. So. Is that how you say it in French? Way. So he wanders, he wanders into their yard, this massive torsious. That is actually quite alarming. It's what's so funny, and I learned this from doing the neighborhood listen, because we do all these next door posts, it's such a common thing that these big, slow creatures run away and end up in other people's yards. They're pets, yeah.

So they don't want to be, like I always wonder that about if our doors were open, would our dogs just go like, fuck it, I am out of here and just like, you know, maybe I'm on purpose. Yeah. But you know what I mean? Like if they're like, this is my fucking chance. I don't think they would escape. I think they would be like, I want to see the Great Wide World. But I also want to go home and get food. No, that's happened.

But I just, but you know what I mean? Oh, I do. But tortoises, they actually want to leave and don't want to come back. They should do like a new homeward bound, but it's like a dog, a cat, and a tortoise. Oh, you have to wait for the tortoise constantly. Yeah. You know, many animals were harmed in the making of that film. Oh, I thought it was Milo and Otis.

Okay. what about a homework bound where it's a turtle a scorpion i thought it was my own notice because it was filmed in japan and they don't have the same well maybe both of them or they did not i don't know what they have now but they did not have the same is that why benjie went to japan did he go to japan i think his i know the bad news bears did the bad news bears definitely did and they were all harmed there the whole plot of benjy goes japan is benjy goes to japan yeah it's like the it's like a two-hour movie he like goes to the airport he's a tourist who goes through Customs.

I think you're, I think you're right. Oh, do you? Hmm. After doing approximately 30 seconds of research. Homard bound. That's the Michael J. Fox one.

Yes, Sally Field and somebody else. Oh, I didn't remember that. Is it three on Sally Field? Homer bound movie kittens, I wrote, and nothing came out. The mom from Forrest Gump? The mom from Mrs. Delfire? The mom from Lincoln? The future mom from Gidge.

I'm mom of the flag. Sally Field is incredible. Mrs. Fields, we call her. Sally Fields, but when she makes the cookie, she's Mrs. Fields. When she puts the lotion in the basket. Or else she gets the hose. She's amazing. That clip from Mrs. Delphire when she was like, the whole time, the whole time, the whole time, you know, so good.

The levels. The clip? The clip. The part. The moment. But it's a clip that I. watched over and over again. I watched just like,

trying to parse this going like, wait, it's a clip that they, all movies are essentially clips. Yeah, a bunch of clips all put together in order. And I watched that one clip a few times, you know,

for enjoyment. I watched soap dish for the first time not too long ago. That's right. We've talked to, I believe, did we talk about on my? Because you told me I should watch it.

We're talking about it on some show, yes. So you got to stand by it. You got to stop. But let me say this, because I don't think I said this before. We'll see. Every scene is like, One second too long.

Oh, no. The way it's directed. Well, that's also. Because it's all great people. And it could have been cut off. Exactly. Yeah. It's all great people.

But the direction of it sometimes, because I was thinking Sally Field, who is great. Yeah. Sometimes it's like comes off as very hammy in a bad way. Because they didn't cut earlier. Yeah, because that's a good lesson for actors. Like always do it one, stay in it one second longer than you think you should. But that's what you shouldn't do because they're going to use it. Bail out one second before.

And go, all right, just cut. Yeah, so you should be like... Emotional, perfect ending. Cut. Cold cuts. Cold cuts. Cold cuts. I want cold cuts.

Give me some. What have you ended every scene saying? I want cold cuts. I want cold cuts. And they're like, okay, we got to cut some of these out. But we can't cut all of them out. I want cold cuts. That would be like, like, if you're trying...

It would be like if you're trying to fuck with the director, like you hated them. So every time you did something, you just put. in the middle I want cold cuts and just like never let them have a real take except for the one you liked guys we had to take a break I want cold cuts call cuts why drop a fortune on basics when you don't have to no seriously quince has the good stuff high quality fabrics classic fits and lightweight layers for warm weather all at prices that make sense everything I've ordered from Quince has been nothing but solid. I have a sort of burnt umber dress that I wore all summer long that people just compliment me on nonstop. It's from Quince. It's from Quince. I've also bought

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I want cold cut to the kid not lie. My other brothers can't deny. They want to go walks in with a cold cut waste. Cold cut waste. We're back. around him in your face. You get strong. Round and ham in your face.

So, guys, this is the first episode since we all came back. You're petting the mics. No, there's a... You're petting the mic. There's a bug that I'm trying to do. What kind of bug? I couldn't tell if it was a...

A friendly bug or a bad one? A fruit fly? They're all bad. Okay. Was it a frit fly? This is the first? All bugs are bastards. ABAB.

Absolutely. I agree with that. Great for rhyme schemes? Oh, but it's a great for bugs. It's like if we're ladybugs and lightning bugs. The two good bugs. There's... You can't say that there are some good bugs and lightning bugs.

But you can't say there are some good bugs. Yeah, you have to say all bugs are best. Hey, don't let a few bad bugs spoil the whole bug barrel. That's how it works, though. He's like, Ladybug's Lives Matter. It's like, okay, dude. We're going to have this conversation every day. I guess it's your birthday.

The thin bug line. Get away with it. The thin bug line around my ankles biting me. I know. I know. I got a bunch of bites. Right on my wrist this morning. We didn't used to have them, man.

We didn't used to have mosquitoes here. No, I hate it was, like, within the last 10 years, right? Yeah, it was that bunch of lumber from China. Right. Have we talked about this? I was very thrilled. There were no mosquitoes. Anywho.

Anyway, so this is the first time we've seen each other since we were away for six weeks or something. And yet we still brought the same topics. I know. So tell us how Chicago was, Lauren. Chicago was. Oh my God, you were gone for so long. So fantastic. I had the best time.

I was shooting a movie called another. happy day. You can follow it on Instagram at another happy day. Now this is a sequel to happy day. Yeah, it's simple to happy days. Happy days. But it's just another one more happy day. You play Mrs. C. Yeah, I do. And it's back in time. The great granddaughter of this. Basically, she time travels to now.

And so she's young, but now. And she's like video games. Exactly. This is a lot like that jukebox that Fonzie would hit. It's a postpartum depression comedy. And that is the little bit of this. So fuck yourself. But no, but no. I feel really excited about. I feel very proud of what we did. It was really fun. I, you know, of course, you have no idea how something's going to turn out. But for me, it was a great experience. And I got to work with my friend from high school, who is the writer-director. She's a couple years older than me, but I always admired her growing up. I didn't know that aspect of it. That's wild. That's why we shot in our hometown. And she is such a great director. So it was really fun. I had to, like, cry a lot and do a lot of emotional stuff, but I really enjoyed it.

Yeah. What did you think about us? Yeah, I was just like, how much I think of you guys. And then I just enjoyed being home for the whole time. It was really nice. A lot of time for how I just built with my family. And I liked being in Chicago. I liked working in Chicago and driving around and getting to go by all my favorite spots and see how much everything's changed.

And that was fun. How much? So weird. Well, like where I was, like, where I first did improv when I was in high school, it was like such a cool place. It's a fucking fudge shop. It's so, the original location. was bought out by a huge, what's the word?

Fudgery? No, but this company bought, like, the entire block, basically. Made, like, these condos. Like a block of fudge. We get it. There's condos and there's shops beneath. And this is around the corner, is that correct? It is around the corner from where baseball is made.

It's like the Cubs. Where baseball is made. Yeah, Wrigley Field is right there. And then there's Killwin's Fudge. And it's pretty depressing because it's so corporate now. Like, that area was very, it was like full of Cubs fans. And it was like bars and just like raucous and like... So things that started with B.A.R.

Yeah. And it was, it was just a fun, nasty time. Barbarrella. But you know what I mean? The streets are all, like people are crazy. The streets are paved with barf. And you stumble into an improv theater and then watch like amazing performances. And it was like a special time.

And then to see it totally nothing is kind of crazy. Of course, they opened a new I.O. like in a different area within the last few years. but that also now is being taken over by a new person. So it's all like, everything's changing so much with that whole world. It's really weird. But that area bummed me out because it got so corporate and like a really, of course, everything if you hadn't left, it would have. It would have, you know, if I brought my energy to that.

But anyway, it's really fun to be home. You could have to change yourself to some buildings. You know what I mean? I think I would have. You know, that's definitely my type of protesting. Yeah, yeah. How was the, how was the tour? It was fine.

Did you miss me? We did miss you. Thanks. Thanks for safe. Sharp-eyed fans will know that I wore my Lauren Lapkis pin for the whole tour. I was very flattered by that. Thank you. I don't have one, so I didn't wear it.

Wow. The Earwolf. Dot corn never sent it to you. Dot corn. Dot cone. Oh my God. Everyone's too obsessed with the corn kid. We've got to move on.

The second video was diminishing returns. I didn't see the second one. I'm glad. I haven't seen the first one. I don't know who he is. First one's great. He's a little kid who loves corn. He's a sweet little boy.

I don't want it. What did you call it the tube with the knobs? Fine, it's great. He talks like one of our characters. I have a startling story from the road. It's a tube with the knobs. Thank you. Oh, what happened? And by the way, how's your freaking ankle?

Oh, well, I get the result of the MRI after the show. Wait, then, what do you mean? I came back. They checked it out there like, you need an MRI. I may need surgery. What? I was totally thinking there'd be no problem. with your ankle.

No. So I learned after the show. So come back, uh, not for next, next week because we're doing, we're taping it right after this one. But, uh, for our season premiere, I'll have. Surgery? Probably a huge news about my ankle. Oh my God.

This motherfucker on the tour, we had to carry him onto the stage. Well, he always does that. Yeah. Well, but this time he, he really like gave it a dead weight. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And his ankle is just flopping around. Yeah. Yeah. You're carrying me like Jesus and Jesus Christ Super. Yeah. Oh, no. God's felt. Oh, my God's bill.

Oh, my God. This is Milo and Notus Homeward Bound situation. It depends on their production. But we had a good time. I have a startling story. Homeward Bound Milanoa situation. It's a very similar.

It's a very similar. You can't conflate Homeward Bound with Milo and Otis. But you can't complain. You can't conflate God's spell with Jesus Christ Superstores. That's literally easier to conflate, I think. I would think that a show,

the movie about animals walking around and talking. Oh, I just meant from the cruelty part. Okay, fine. Yeah. Because if Milo and Otis, it's so, they went through like five Milo's and four Otis. Because, yeah, like they drowned them, right? They like threw one off a cliff. Yeah, if anyone did a bad dick.

What a horrific. Into the river they went. They must have felt really sad. I'm sure a lot of people were. Narrated by Dudley Moore. Dickish during that. From Santa Claus, the movie? That's correct.

Wow. Okay, so startling story from the road. You've got a startling story from the road? Paul, you know this one. Oh, so I won't be startled. But I haven't told this on any podcast. So are you guys excited to be getting a debut? I'm extremely at rest, so when I get startled, it's going to be huge.

Okay. So. Extremely at rest. We were on the East Coast, and I don't know if you were tracking some of the videos and stuff that happened. And I just kind of pop in and see, are they having fun without me. Okay, it seems like they are. It kind of hurts my feelings. I'll just back off a little bit.

Feeling still hurts. Still a lot of fun. Yeah. Oh, so nobody's saying my name or anything. Okay, that's totally fine. Yeah. No. The audience is enchanting thinking it's me.

Fine. Got it. I do think that in Chicago when I introduced Carissa Barreca, they thought it was going to be. I really wanted to do the show and I was, I could not get COVID. It would have shut the whole thing now. So, uh, you tried as hard as you could to get it. I want to get COVID. Yeah.

Yeah. So we're on the East Coast. And if you saw one of the videos in Hartford, Connecticut, is that right? Ryan Gall switched pants with an audience member. I did, I did not go to Hartford, Connecticut, done this to it. Wait, where did we go? Where did we have Ted Leo? Uh, that's right.

I was in Providence, Providence, Rhode Island. Rhode Island. Oh, okay, Rhode Island. You might have talked about this on Staff Humpkins. Huh? Or no. I don't think that I did.

I heard about the pants thing. Well, no, this is a story I've never told before on any podcast. He might have told it. No, he didn't. Okay. He doesn't know that. But I know the story. You know it, but you kind of went, huh.

All right. What will I do this time? I can't wait. Something that's going to startle me gave no, got no reaction from Paul. Okay. By the way, I'm going to find the picture while I'm talking. Okay, so. Ryan with his pants off.

No, it's not. But so, so, was that where the, the pants happened? Yeah, on underpants. Well, good. In Providence, yeah. Okay, so. I think. So we get to Providence.

Is that where we, you know, that's, little state in the union. Maybe it was, maybe it was up in, in, Portland, Maine. Portland, Maine. Can I just remember. No, no, okay, so, no, he did that in, in, in, in wherever it was. It was Providence because Ted was there, yes. Okay, so he did that. Shout out to Ted, his birthday was yesterday.

Happy birthday. Never forget. And same with Ben Lee. Never forget. Yes. So we did that and then we... It's a big musician's birthday, September 11th. So we did that and then we...

Amy Mans was the 8th. Never forget. Fuck. You both. Oh, it's another breakdown. Fuck. It's a quieter one. But you know what?

Fuck. You. It's actually both. It's actually a fuck you both. I can't believe I'm joining in. Fuck you both. And the subject of the chant. Fuck you both.

Okay. So the next day, we get on what we think are two trains. But instead it was an airplane? What we think are two trains? Yes, we thought we were taking two trains. Not at the same time. No, we're not going to be straddling the top of the train. You said, you said, motherfucker, you said we got on what we thought were two trains.

Obviously, I'm picturing you both in two trains. Some in one, some in the other. You're waving. You're saying, hope I see you there. I know this is hurting you. Like a train race. How you spoke. I don't want to do the show anymore.

No, Scott. I can't. I can't do this. I can't even do one more episode. No, no, no. We at least need to finish today. We have a contract. No.

100% of it. Just yours. Give them to my best. No, I want to give your money back. No. No. Because it's your fault. No.

Okay, we get on a train. Not the A train, Paul. Because you weren't in New York City. But we get on a train in the. then we think we're getting on another train and it turns out what, Paul, to be a bus instead. I'm sorry. I can't believe this is right. I'm sorry.

How did you get on? No, no, no, no, no, no. I am shocked. I didn't realize that's the story you were telling. No, that's the beginning of the story. Paul, but I'm already shocked. You got on a train, but it was a bus. Now, I don't understand how it's physically possible.

No, I'm serious. We had a, if I may, we had, we were supposed to have a connecting train. You're just doing this to be an asshole. No, actually, because once I started talking, I understood. But I really myself. So we thought we were going to get off one train and on to another train to complete our journey. But then you get off and they're like, actually, it's that bus over there. You're like, oh, shit, this is bad.

Well, about 10 minutes before we got off the first train, someone looked at their ticket more closely and it said, this says bus. And who booked it? You're in trouble. Well, I don't want to throw anyone under that bus that we took, but it was the baker. So anyway, so we get on this bus. It's, and the bus ride was fine, I think. And it's actually quicker, I guess, than a train was. From where to where?

From Boston to, is that right? To Providence. Was it Boston that we went back to? Yes. We went back to Boston, then we went up to Maine, Portland, Maine. Actually, I don't mind the bus. But the train is fun. The train is fun, and the bus, though, wears you out a little bit.

Bus is more car sick. The bus is more car sick. You don't have as much room. Like, the train, you have so much more room and everything. So anyway, we get, we get on this, we get on this bus. We get to the hotel. Paul and I are exhausted, but this is one of the rare days that we have, like, time for a nap before we have to go. Because most of the days we would get into the city and then it was like, okay, Paul and I would have to get dressed and do the Q&A right after we got to the city.

And also sign 100 posters. Wow. So this was one of the rare cities where we got there early enough. Quick sidebar. I meant to do this and I'm so mad that I didn't. I wanted to do a video like a time lapse of us. Scott and I would get to these venues and it was just the two of us sitting side by side and signing the posters assembly line. Well, we would sign them at the same time.

Yeah. And then slide them aside. And I meant to get a video and I'm mad that I didn't do it. I'm sorry. We could still sign a bunch of posters if you wanted. I can imagine it actually really well. So in any case, we get to the hotel in Maine, Providence, Maine, right? Yes.

And I get into the hotel and I just basically like take out my sound machine, get my sleep mask on, take off my shorts, throw them on the ground. Okay. TMI. and conk out for an hour, right? And then the alarm goes off. I get up, I go to the theater. It's really, you know, scrambling to get there. Right.

And we do- I kind of hate that feeling of like taking a nap, then you go do show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do the show, come back, conk out again until the morning. I wake up in the morning and I'm like fully cognizant and aware for the first time. And we have to go to Cleveland the next day, right? But we have some time.

And I'm looking around the room and I'm just packing stuff up. What happened, aliens? What do I see on the floor of the hotel room? Oh, God, what's it going to be? Pants. A pair of gray sweats. That you don't recognize. That I do not own.

No, no, no, no, no, no. And this is why I bring up the pants that Ryan swapped. I thought that he snuck into the hotel room and put a pair of pants on the floor of my hotel room. But wait, that's not what happened? These were left over from the previous guest. You didn't notice them. But I didn't notice them because I think... Or someone came in.

Or someone came in. Yes. Ducktail style. Yeah. Ducktail style. Donald Duck. And they took their pants off and threw on the floor. Have you ever been snuggled with ducktail style?

It's when you have three in a bed. Uh, woo. But I've never been to a hotel room with something like this. Okay. I play an Andorian. A dirty pair of sweats has been lying on the ground. That's actually so fucking gross. That's really horrible.

Cape Burland had a really scary story. where she was staying in Edinburgh, and, like, she had something appear in her bathroom during her stay, where it was not there. It was a pair of boxers appeared in, like, it was not there ever. She's like, I would have seen that. Right. I was there for days. And then they're there on the hanging on the bathroom door or something. And she was like, this is so unsettling.

And she switched rooms and everything. It was just creepy. It's like, what does this mean? Like, it's just odd. I have a story like this, too. It did not happen to me. It happened to my friend, Mark Evan Jackson. We, with the thrilling venture hour, we went to Australia.

And we, this was our first stop. We check into this hotel and we're exhausted because it's a, you know, the flight's a million hours. But you threw a shrimp on the Barbie a minute you got there. Well, we had to. I mean, you know, I had a giant barrel of beer. Where was this? In Australia, in Sydney. Wait, you and Mark went there?

The thrilling adventure hour went there. Oh, sorry. I know that we went there and you were. I was. You know what a great time it was. Anyways, go ahead. So we check into this hotel and the, Mark tells us this story that when he gets in the elevator to go up to his room, the elevator was like kind of stalling out.

Like it was going up and then kind of stopping and then going up. I'd like never do it again, honestly. He gets to the room and he calls down and he says, hey, just so you know, like this elevator is messed up, you know, so you might want to check it out. And they go, oh, well, thank you very much. Exactly. so he takes a nap then he wakes up

and he finds this spongy yellow light bulb like a dog toy almost like a stress ball sort of thing yeah exactly that says like you know

something about the electrical department of the hotel or something like that thank you whatever and he's like looking at this thing and he came in when he's asleep and drop that off while he was asleep he goes down to the front

desk and he says, hey, this was in my room while I was, somebody put this in my room when I was asleep. And the person at the desk was like, yeah, that was the electrical department. They wanted to say thank you for letting us know about the elevator. And he said, he said, I was asleep. And the person on the counter is like, is that, is that not good? Well, like, think about if it was you and you were asleep and then a strange person came in the room, saw you sleeping. It really makes you think About a hotel rooms, they can do anything to you. Yeah, that's fucking weird. That's why you got to do the latch.

So our mutual friend, our mutual friend Julie, after that story, bought like a bunch of light bulbs like that to like plan. And then she never did it. But then Mark and I did a show in Portland. And I said, you've got to give me one. And so I had to leave before he did. And I put it in his coat pocket in the dressing room. And I was like, I pray to God he doesn't discover this until he gets back to the hotel.

Right. And he didn't. And it was great. And what did he? Did he think it was you? Oh, yeah, he did. And he sent me a picture of it. And he goes, you son of a bitch. And I'm like, whoa, where'd that come from? And he, I instantly shifted blame to, he like, he's like, oh, fucking Carla. She must have done this because she had a connection to the theater. And I was like, great. All. Wow.

So is he going to listen to this? No, it was you? No. Okay. Is anyone going to listen to this? Very safe. Oh, my God. What if this is the one nobody listens to him? I don't know. I think Josh puts him out. I think he just, like, let us talk. Oh, by the way, we're back with Josh. What do you do with these? Oh, yeah, Kevin's not here.

We're back with Josh. We're back with Josh. We're back with Josh. For today. Only for today. Only for today. Only for today. Only for today.

Only for today. Any other stories from the road? Ooh. I think that was about it. We had three. Oh, can I tell a story from two secondhand. Being home. Holly loves the beach.

Oh, what? And she loves the beach. a sand and she loves the water. How are you getting more and more perfect? What does she like about it? She has no fear. I thought I just was worried, oh, she might like the touch of the sand. Yeah, she was wearing a no fear shirt and like big dog pants or something. Um, but she was like, you know, the first day we went, she was like touching the sand on my lap and like not crawling around. And then the next time, just crawling all over the place going right into the water, right back out, right back in Chicago or this is back. Oh, so

there's a beach there. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's a lines the whole city. I know the lake does it. I didn't realize that there was like sand. Evanston has beaches, beautiful beaches, and so does Chicago. That's why the motto of Chicago is, relax, you're at the lake. Yeah, we say it all the time. Their state flag is one of those posters.

It's like Lake vibes is our state flag. Lake vibes. But she loved it so much. I was so happy. It was so cute. Did she eat any sand? She ate some of the first time, but then she didn't do it the next time. I was, like, pretty amazed.

So now do you feel like you have to go to the beach here, even though it's a million miles away from where you live? Like, I hate going to the – I mean, I like being at the beach, but I hate the process. And also it's a lot to drive with the baby for like an hour, get out to the water, then drive back for an hour. Like, you're asking a lot. We would – growing up – I can't wait for me here with this when she's older. We were 15 minutes from the beach. Yeah, we were very close. It was better.

But it still was like a big day where it was like I had to put on sunscreen and it would always get my eyes and I would cry. See, for us, it was very casual. There's so many beaches in Evanston. It's very like you can just stumble over to one and enjoy yourself. So it's like really we did it all the time in the summer. But here I'm like, you'd have to live by the beach to make it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, for us, if you don't know California,

I'm sure you think that we all just live on the beach. Well, of course, we're wearing all neon right now and we're in the middle of a volleyball game on the beach. Sure. We stopped to record the land of fruits and nuts. But no, it's such a pain. It's so annoying. I think when you move here, you think you'll,

go by the water all the time. I'm like, I didn't see the ocean the whole pandemic. No, you literally have to live by the beach on the west side. And who wants to do that unless you're super rich? Yeah. Share. Share does, obviously. Yeah. Yeah. Lives in Malibu. I would see your house when I'm going to go there. I went there for, I'm sure, I've told you this for a summer. I went there with, no more than summer. It was like for a year. Me and some friends would boogie board and we would go to point doom in Malibu. And it was really fun. We would like make a whole day of it. We go every Sunday. Boogie boarding is really fun. Boogie boarding is really. fun. Yeah. I know if you're a surfer, you look down on it. I know, but it's got such a, it's got good branding, doesn't it? Like, boogie boarding. It's pretty cool. Like, whoever came up with that is just like, I'm gonna call this something really fun. Yeah. And it is, it's super fun. Have you ever been surfing? No. I would, I would never. I would never. I would never. I would never. I would never. I would honestly be way too scared to fall in. It's just, I don't like it. The list of things I'm never going to do is just like growing. Yeah. Basically. Like, I know, like, I'm just like resigned to it before I die. It is. It is.

funny that it's a thing that I it never appealed to me in any way yeah you know what I mean like the idea of balancing on it like I I it's a I can understand why it is exciting for people that do it yeah but I don't feel a pull to do that in any way I agree I and it's cool it's fine yeah yeah yeah yeah it looks cool it looks fun but it's weird to know like oh that's a that's a cool thing I don't want to do it at all yeah yeah yeah for sure skydiving I don't want to do no And I really don't want to go in a helicopter. I wouldn't mind going to an helicopter. I really don't want to.

I also don't want to drive in a car. Never? Never. Okay, let's be a problem. In Hawaii, we were, like, some of us, were you guys going to go in the helicopter when we were going to? I wasn't going to go. Oh, no, I wasn't. I said, yeah, I said no.

We were going to do some other fucking thing when Janie and I went years ago and, oh, I've told this story where, all right, all right, let's take a break. All right. Are you waxed? No, I'm unwaxed. Hi guys, I'm Sophia. And I'm Sistine Stelone, and this is unwaxed. We are less judgmental than your best friend.

Way cheaper than a therapist. And less painful than a wax. Join us every Tuesday where we discuss dating, bettering yourself, and hilarious stories. So listen to Unwax from Lemonaut and Media wherever you get your podcast, or check us on on YouTube to see the video version. And we will see you next Tuesday. Bye.

Hi. I'm Jessica Zan. Claire. And I'm June Diane Raphael. And we are two friends trying to survive the chaos and celebrate the joy that life throws our way. And we do it every week on our podcast, The Deep Dive. Sometimes we dig into the deep stuff like how I communicate with my dead best friend. And sometimes we give bad advice based off a TikTok I saw. And we're not going to apologize for that. Absolutely not. You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll hire a psychic medium. Join us, won't you? Listen to the Deep Dive wherever you. you get your podcast from Lemonada Media. And we're back. It's time for a three-ture. This is the part of the show where we play a fun game. But we call it a three-cher. I know, but I like to call it a game.

No, no, I wasn't correcting you. Oh, okay. I wasn't informing the audience. Yeah, yeah, yeah. First we said we should have a feature. Yeah. Scott said that. And we took that to meme, game.

I honestly don't know what else it could mean. Well, I guess I meant like... Or we say like, this is a section when we talk about our favorite celebrity. Yeah. It could be anything. Yeah, that's what I sort of meant when I pitched. We talk about our favorite celebrity.

Happy birthday to you. No, they brought a fucking cake. It's a hamburger cake. It's a hamburger. It's not a cake. It's a hamburger. It's an actual hamburger that came from the Victor Bennett's bakery. Happy birthday.

Let me take this back. To you. Let's just rip it. Happy birthday. Oh, that's so cute. Dear Pah. You got to like them, son of bitches. Happy birthday to you.

It's a special hamburger day. Wait, make a wish. Oh, yeah. What if you forgot? You knew your... Wait, no. Paul, traditionally on a birthday, you make a wish before you. You don't just pull them out.

You have to do a season. It's tremendous. It's tremendous cake. Thank you guys. This was your doing? Um, it was actually, no, no, Scott, Scott came in with this hamburger. I had already had the croissants. Yeah, we separately did.

We independently had plans for you. Isn't that sweet? That's very, it's very sweet. When I saw this, Paul, I was just like, this is going to freak him out. He's going to be like, is this? He's like, is it, he's like, is a psychotic break? You're like the, you're like on the show, is it Kay? I'm like, I'm like one of the people on the show.

Is it cake? Yeah. You're giving Mikey Day right now. You're giving Mikey Day vibes. It's giving Mikey Day. Is it cake? It's really good looking. Are you playing a game?

Oh, you're playing a game? I don't even know what flavor it is, but I bet it's good. Well, a hamburger. Yeah, hamburger, I hope. God, it probably tastes like shit, huh? Okay. No, wait, have we all recorded this show on our birthday? I know we did it on your birthday because we had the chocolate chips and the whipped cream.

Have we did it? I don't think that we've done it. I don't know if we've done it. I don't know if we've done on a little bit. I don't honestly, let's try for next season. I don't know. that I would have agreed to it.

Yeah. Because you like to clear your schedule I do, I do. You have your birthday month. No, actually, I very much don't. I have my birthday day. I like to do my thing. Yeah.

Yeah. But this is one of the things she doesn't like to do. That's why I said, oh no, that's your birthday. And you're like, who gives a shit? I mean, this is fun for me to see you guys and have fun. No, it's fun.

Of course, it's fun. We're all reassuring ourselves. It's fun. This is fun, right? It's fun. for people to listen to you. We have fun. People enjoy it. Like doing the podcast, of course. Okay, so let's do the three-tur. This is called Name That ABC, and it was submitted by Ronnie, not Robbie Williams. Thank you, Ronnie Williams. Thank you. Those are cute candles, too, actually.

Candles are pretty cute. This is pretty good. All right, so we... Deluxe if I want to eat them. We think of a song. The song singer replaces the lyrics with the ABCs. Yes, which is the alphabet in America. Which we could go through these, right? A, B, C, D, right. F, O E, F. E is before. Well, yeah. Always.

Yeah, obviously. L-ways go before F. G-H-I-J, I-J, I-H-I-J. I-H-I-J. That's how I remember it, G-H-I-J. Yeah. Clim. Clown. Clown. Clum.

K-K-H-J-J-H-J. H-M-N-O-P. Kelman-O-P. K-M-N-O-P. Q-N-N-N-N-H-N, thank you. The best letter. all the storm ours ours t's tough weeks weeks with weeks weeks weeks yeah so there we go yeah there you go so that's your american alphabet that was good so that was good how do we do this do we

this is funny i think we go do we just jump in like and guess whoever says it first got you should sing a song first and then yeah we'll guess okay all right should we buzz it in with our names. Okay, good. And whoever I hear first. Yes, I like that. And you were great on dough boys, by the way, when you buzzed in with your name.

That's what I reminded me about. Great episode, great episode. That was fun. Hot dog and a stick. Yes. Yes. I was jealous. Proving, I listened to it.

You were jealous because I did hot dog going to stick? Yeah. When I heard that announced, I was like, I would have loved doing it. Do you know what? It was very pleasant, I have to say, even though I felt it all day. Yeah. When you said it was good, I don't want that. I wonder if I could do orange Julius with them.

I wonder if they've ever done that. I don't think it matters if they've done it. Yeah, at this point, they keep looping around. There's only so many. They're going to kill them. This is my formal request to doughboys to do orange, Julius. Oh, shit. Throw everyone out there.

How do we get this to them? Tweet. Everyone out there, tweet. I don't know how to contact either. Josh, can you clip this and send it to them immediately? Paul, I really want you to pick this up like a hamburger and bite into it. Yeah. Even if it ruins the whole thing.

I'll take a video of it. Can you do that? Well, maybe, well, because you're going to need paper towels. Okay, ready? Okay, we'll figure it out. Make a video. Make a video. Okay.

And is it going to be. It's impossible. It's impossible. It's an impossible burger? I mean, I'm going to try. And action. Oh, my God. He's picking the hamburger.

Oh, it's delicious hamburger. Thanks, Scott. I'm starving and I can't wait to eat some hot meat. Mmm, hamburger. The meat's so white. That's how I like it. Meat so white, just like Oscars. Okay.

That was fun. That was fun. How's it taste? It's good. That's good. Okay, you guys ready to buzz in? It tastes like how you think it would taste, right? Yeah, I mean.

A cake that's all frosting. You got a couple ideas, yeah. Thank you, dear. You ready to buzz in? Yeah. Here we go. Ready? Some of frosting on my mustache.

Oh, my. That was fun, though. Here we go, ready, and A, B, C, D, F, G, H, I, J. Paul. Yes, Paul. ABC by the Jackson 5. Yes, that's right.

Okay, my term. Look at the dainty little bite I took. It's hilarious. We have post that. Can you cut off a slice for me or what? Yeah, wherever your hands are intestine? Yeah, with my mouth knife. Yeah, your teeth.

Okay, here's my song. Okay. Hold on. Hold on. she says. Thinking of songs, you know. Thinking of songs. You really thought it was just going to come.

A, B, C, D, E, F, A, B, C, D, F. What? No. You got to go in order. What are you doing? And you have to do more than one note. Don't do a rap song, please. A, B, C, D, F, H, I, K, L-M-N.

A, B-C-D-F-E-F, G-H-H-I-K-L-L-M-M-A-C-E-E-F. Poker face. Yes. A, B, C, D, E, F, K.K. Okay. Okay. Okay, ready? A, B, C, D, F, G, H, H, K L, M, N, O, P. H, K L, M, N-O-P, K-R-S-T-U-E-W.

X, Y, Z, A-B-C-D. Oh, Scott, Piano Man. Yes. Oh, wow. I don't know how I heard what I heard. A-B-B-C-D-F-G-H-H-H-E. J-K-L M-N-O-P-Q-R-S.

I know. So much easier to remember. Everybody can sing it. Yeah, all the words. I already know them. Yeah. Okay. All right.

Okay. All right. A, B, C, D, F, G-H-I. J-K-L-M-N-O-P-Q-R. S-T-U-W-X-Y-Z. Z, A-B-C-D, D. E-F-G I don't know

ABC, D E-E-E-F-G-H-I Shit Shoot that Paul Poison Arrow by ABC By ABC Wow Oh, so

I'm going meta ABC on the brain I didn't know that one Okay I'm so young Sorry Yeah Do we have to only do

The 10 most popular songs in the world That you know Excuse me You know my musical Tastes are far and wide I just simply didn't know that one song

Like one song from every genre do I mean, that's pretty well-rounded. Honestly, yeah, it's like I would know a lot. Okay, this song is a B, C, D, A, H, I, J, K, L, M, and A B-S-C-K-L-M-N. What song would that be? Just Peters out in the middle that it picks back up. No, I sound stuff because I don't know. I'm getting confused

I'm almost singing the words A, B, C, D, E, F G, H, J, K, L, M, and O, K, R, S, U, V, W, W, X, Y, H, Y, H, G, H, G, H, G, H, G, H, G, H. It's really hard, actually. For me, for me. A, B, C, D, F, G, H. I guess that. you're going to hire yeah yeah like sing the song how it is oh my god a bcd desperado yes that's right that was that was look i'm doing that's a layup all right we need some

of them okay now he's going meta on the first two that he did i know so let's see if he goes meta on this one too yeah a b cd e fg I, J-K-L-M-N-O-P-Q-R-S-T-U-V-D-W-X-Y-Z, yeah. We'll put a yeah in there. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I. Do you know it? L-L-L-M-N-O-P-Q-R-S, T-U-V-W-U-X-Y-Z, A-B-B, It's on the edge of my brain.

I can't think of it, though. I have no idea. Really? Josh, what's your guess? No. Born in the USA? No. Born in East L.A.

By Chi Mare. Okay. Wow. We forgot. Set up in no parodies rule. Oh, we have to. We did not say it before I started singing. It's too late.

They're acceptable. A, B, C, D.E. F-G-G-H-J-K-L, baby Okay, I'm Paul I love Rocky Road by weird Exactly Al By the way

I got the birthday card from Al Oh yeah, I got mine I don't know how he does this I don't want to know I'll tell you Al tell you It's a computer-generated system But he sends a birthday

Did he do one with your last name? No, my first name Oh, okay He did one with my last name, too. Wow. And he did one for Kula. He did one for my full name, yeah.

I don't understand. I'll ask you about it later. Yeah. I'll ask you about it later. Yeah. Same joke, twice. Yeah. It's your birthday.

It's my birthday. Same joke twice. Tell the joke twice. It's your birthday. All right. A, B, C, D. F, H, I, J, K. Scott, like a virgin.

No, sorry, I was like a surgeon. Sam it. I was like a surgeon. I was going to say. Yeah. All right, ready? Yeah. Yeah, sure.

A, B, A, C. Wait. I know it's hard. A, B, C, D, E F, G, H-I-J. A-B. Paul. Yes. Is it a hollaback girl by Winston-F-I?

No, no. Is it Hollaback Boy by Weird Allie? I know. A-B, C-D, E-F-G-H-I-J, K-L-M-N-N, O. P-Q-R-S-T. That's the chorus and I don't know any of the, if there are verses. I mean, I'm just, all I can think is the same thing, so I'm done. Yeah, my neck, my back, my pussy, and my crick.

Oh, sure. Well, it'll be like, A, B, C, D, B-F-A-H-J-J, no, you were doing it like it was a cheer. My neck, my back, my pussy, and my crack. Let's go. Let's go. Go team, my neck, my back, my pussy, and crack, let's go. Um, okay, this song is like this. A, B, C, D, F, J, H, K, whatever.

Scott, I want to walk out and around you. Yeah. Sing me a song and I'll tell you the day. I get by with a little help for my friends. Yeah. Okay. It was good. Yeah.

A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H.R. Lauren. Yeah, you got it. You know, one more. One more. For all time sake. A, B, B, C, D, E, F. Ghostbusters.

Lauren, Ghostbuzzers. Who are you going to spell? Lauren, you got it. Lauren, you got it. Okay, this is a little song that goes like this. A, B, C, D. Scott, the ABC. Yes.

Yes. Can I steal it? The alphabet. Yes. You actually got it correct. All right, here we go. How did he steal it by just saying the same? A, B, C, D, E, F, G, A, J, K.

Jingle bells. Yes. And or Happy Days. The beginning was Happy Days. A, B, C, D, F, that's Happy Days. No, no. A, B, C, D, E F dot, dot, rock, and roll with you. These days are, ah.

I don't think they start with Jingle Bells. Disagree. Jingle bells is a great song Jingle balls is my favorite song So a beautiful melody Jingle bells Jingle bells I love what it's about

You know I love what it stands for Yeah me too Bells jingling Thematically it's about bells I love how the bells Jingle and jingling I like to imagine

The Christ Child jingling some bells In the manger Would it have been as popular if you were jangle bells I don't think so It sounds a little chaotic Yeah

All right well I think we're at the end of the show We are at the end of the show We have one left in our season day. Yeah. And in the season.

And in the season. Next week is going to be our climatic season finale. There's one left in the season of freedom. We're going to say goodbye to you after that. Yeah. And perhaps for good. We don't know. We don't know, you know.

We don't know. The future is not guaranteed to any of us. And that's not just about death. It's also about freedom. But we definitely will be back next week. Unless one of us perishes in between recording episodes. Do you think from eating that, taking a bite of that hamburger cake, I might die? How about you both eat it and I don't?

And we'll see what happens. Sure. Seems mean. Oh, my God. He said one of us might die. But you seem to like you were trying to wheel it down. No, it was an experiment. Oh, experiment.

Let's see what happens. happens. Is it a spearmint cake? It's a spearmint cake. It's full of gum. Have you ever had spearmint anything other than gum? Toothpace? Yeah, I guess so. Like, it's not a flavor. You eat it? Yeah. It's so weird that people like it for gum, but then it's like for anything else. I like it for gum, but yeah, not for like meat or anything. There was somebody that was on the tour, and I will not say their name that we learned, uh, likes to take little nips of, uh, mouthwash and swallow it. Yes. I do know who that is. Um, that's Parsons. remain nameless.

All right, to you all. Anyway, FreedomUSA. at gmail.com if you want to write to us for some weird reason. Yeah, I don't think we've ever, or maybe we have, I don't know. Have we ever read any of these emails?

Nope. Okay, good. I never knew about it. Mostly people use it for the three chairs. I don't know if anybody has Josh, what do you think? Does anyone ever just written to us to say something?

Oh, okay. Yeah? Yeah, he's saying yes. All right. And I guess we're being protected, and it's all complaints. Good. I like that.

If you want to hear ad-free episodes, They're on Stitcher Premium and at CBBWorld.com. And I think that's it. And come see our show at September 24th at Dynasty Typewriter or online. That's right. Yeah. You can watch it any time. Anyway, we love you.

Thank you for listening. And we'll speed, speed. We'll speed you later. Next week, goodbye. Bye. It's easy to feel helpless these days. So take a break from the bad news and hear from people who are doing good things to address big problems.

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