Threedom - Threevisiting: If Dogurt

Episode Date: November 7, 2023

Threevisiting on the Tues: Dem Threedom Boys discuss carnival rides, their own personal recipes and play Good Cop, Bad Cop. Follow us on social media @threedomusa. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail]. Leave us a voicemail at 424-252-4678 (HAG-CLAIMS-8).

3-0! 3-0! My name is Micheal, it's freedom, baby. Oh, mm. Hi, everyone, I'm Scott. What happened at the end? I know. I know. Open bottles? Open bottles. Open bottles. Poppin bottles. Poppin bottles. At your mouth.

With hot bottles. I'm Lauren. No, I know. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm Paul. That's right. So welcome to the show. We're back. No further information. We're back from St. Paul. We are back in Los Angeles. No, we decided not to live there. We were considering it. We were considering it. We were considering it. We were considering it. We were considering it. We were, we decided not to live there. We were considering it.

We were considering it. We were considering it. We were considering it moving across the street from that wicked child. Anytime we come away, wicked child from the hotel. That's a water boys deep cut. Anytime you travel to a place, you have the option to stay there and live. We like to do on tours. We take house tours. We go to all open houses around the area and we say, should we leave show business and some closed ones like a regular James L Roy? A little B&E action.

That's right. A little creepy, beep, beep, beep. It's creepy, beep, beep. We're creepy and then we go around the house at night going, beep, beep, beep, beep. Certainly creepy. We wait till the light turns on in another room and then we run out of there. Can I ask about speaking of beeps going on at night?

Shouldn't they, your robot sensors start going over here? Should everyone be sleeping at this particular time? Shouldn't they create a smoke detector that does not, that it has a clock on it like all iPhones and everything else? Your house has been burning for three hours. No, no, but you know how when your battery is low, it just starts beeping it.

It's always at 3 a.m. Yeah, right. Just have it time out to where like it'll beep you, you know, at 8 a.m. or whatever whenever you get up. I had the worst time. So like you go out with your pager and then the smoke alarm beats you and you go home and change that. Just beat me 911 with that.

No, but you know what I mean? Like why why leave it to chance? And because I think they all run out at 3 a.m. because you're replacing the battery at 3 a.m. every time. What if we left it to a rapper? Yes.

What if the rapper just walks around smoke alarms? He is so funny. He was just on David Spades late night show and was so great. I was like, I'm so charmed by him. Really? I mean, we met him on Ferns.

I didn't even know him before that. And I liked him, but I really was like, he's funny. I like his opinions. He's got anyone before that. I did a guest spot on his album. Just different. Just different. And that's how you wrap, sir.

I'm not a fan because I like the number four. Wow. So it comes down to I like the number four. Wow. So it comes down to Sesame Street rules for you. Always. That's all you need. That's all you need. Everything you needed to learn, you learn how to set Sesame Street. That's true.

Eat cookies by smashing them in the front of your face. Cookie Monster eats seaweed now and stuff. I was watching Sesame Street with my nephew the other day and he was eating sushi. He learned how to make it. Oh, this PC, politically correct. I read it was so. Well, I hope that you have a silver and Jim Jeffries on to discuss this. The pacification of cookie monster. I loved it. It was so cute. He's eating everything now and he's like trying to see. He's not doing that. Not on.

You wish. He married. I want him to be happy. I want to eat pussy under the auspices of marriage. Do you know what I refuse to participate? Hey, in the pussy. Wow. Shot. I want to be his friend. Who cookie monster? Have you ever been to Sesame Street? No, I want to go there. Some of my friends used to work on the show and it's amazing. Really? How big is the street or is it just like a sound stage? Well, I think it's a stage, but it's pretty.

Is it like a city block? I don't know about that. I don't know if it's all connected as one piece. Right. Or if it's just real stuff in or something. Yeah, a real corner in. I wanted to rip rip rip rip it up. Hooper rip it up. Hoops. Rest in power. Hooper. I went to the county fair the other night. I want to tell you about it to which county. The LA County Fair.

Whoa. I'm keeping a local. I've never been to any. Where is any any? Let's list the counties. You've found your side County. Bakersville County. Haven't you found yourself in a founding side. You've had a founding side. No, no. Bakersville County.

Haven't you found yourself in a county fair just like just over your life? Just accidentally. No, I swear I've ended up at that. I'm like, you took a wrong turn and just, no, I've been to a lot of bogs and witch ceremony by accident. Oh, okay. But not county fairs. Well, I had a great time.

Where is it located? Can I ask? It's in Pomona. Oh, okay. It was an hour Yeah, I mean, that's really stretching the definition of LA County. Sure. Yeah, but it was massive. Yeah, it was a massive place It was like so many and my friends and I had to find each other we came in from different entrances and it like took a long time My friends and I had to find each other too Just through life. Did you find your person? I found my people.

What? Well, it was fun because my friends ate really crazy foods. And that was their intention. Yeah. That's the new thing that's been around for like 10 years where they're like, we'll just try. The new thing that's been around for 10 years. It's true.

But I'm saying in the course of the history of county fairies, yes, of course. And the history of life, which has. That's like you're in a two thousand year. That's like you're in a 200 year immortal looking back. Right. And mankind's progress. No, that's the new thing. It's only been a blip of a millisecond.

Or has it been 10 years? I want to walk you through some of the things that they ate because they were was pussy involved. Pussy was not eating that night. For everyone. Okay, they got, well, we got Mike chose zucchini fries, because we were like, let's try to start with that. So you can eat fries. And that's the beginning. Fried zucchini. Oh, but that at the same time, my friends got this fucking burger,

which was crispy cream donuts with three patties, meat patties and double. So donuts on donuts is the bun. Three patties of me. Donuts the bun. Now I saw these pictures online and my question is when you order something like that, you buy something like that, you don't eat the whole thing, right? Well, so they were planning to do like a tasting menu where they could have, but everything was $15. It was like a, and they would give you way too much. Like, so it was a crazy night, but they, it was, I was crazy. Well, I was crying laughing.

Well, for every item, if you're trying to have a lot of things, you're a, you're a definition of a crazy night is you paid $15 for many things. You know what? I stand by that. That's a waste, but it was fun. You are nuts, Lauren. No, you know what? $15 for, for one, if you're doing like, I'm going to taste a bunch of things. No, yes. And each of them costs $15. No, you know what? $15 for one. If you're doing like, I'm gonna taste a bunch of things.

No, yes. And each of them costs $15. Yeah, what is this? And you know you're gonna throw it away. Yeah. Like, greatest scam. It's a bit more restaurant history. Yeah, it's a crazy wasteful evening.

But when they bid into it, I was crying laughing because not only did they say, this is the most disgusting thing I've ever eaten, but also, yes, it dissolved instantly because the buns were doughnuts and they're crispy creams. And so they're air. So like the bite didn't make any sense. Like, you know, when you buns were donuts and their crispy creams and so their air, so like the bite didn't make any sense. Like you know when you eat at burger, it's like you would be chewing, but it was just like gone. So it was so funny.

It was so funny. It just kind of disappears like a sugary thing. And the crispy creams has sugar on it. Yeah, so crispy cream is just a straight up, like have you ever had one? I thought they made several types of donuts. Oh, the classic glaze. Classic glaze, okay, got it.

Classic glaze. Got hot g-dote hot ch-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d- g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot g-dote hot Anyway, everything was gross. A deep fried peanut butter and jelly with like fruity apples. That sounds good. Oh, it feels like it kind of liked that one, but it was a lot. Anyway, it goes on. What, what, what, like I've never had, I feel like the last time I was at a county fair was the Orange County one when Weird Al debuted his movie, The Al's Brain thing, and he invited a bunch of people down there

to watch and perform and all that and see the movie. But I feel like I had a deep fried Oreo. Is that good? I thought it was not great. I think the thing is, fried foods make me sick instantly. So I couldn't really eat anything there, but I did have, I had a really fun thing. That was this gigantic hot dog on a stick

with a tornado of fries, I mean, tornado of chips. I wanna look, you know, I have hot dogs. It was like a swirl of connected chips. That were like tornado of chips. I want to look, I want to look, you know, I have hot dogs. It was like a swirl of connected chips that were kind of soft. Whoa. So no bond. No bond, but a bunch of like circular chips with holes inside that are wrapped around the hot dog.

That looks fucking great. It looks a bit sweet. I love that. How you didn't need me, do you remember? I do. I do. You do. Mike doesn't.

What about pussy? Pussy's meat, bitch. The new white meat. Is that what that What about Percy? What's his meat, bitch? The new white meat. Is that what that's always white meat? And that's what you got to figure out. That's right. From the last 30 years here. Yes. Or has it been merely a millisecond? It was the last. You would send this. It was bored. Carnival ride that you've been on. Or like, I'd like that. Okay, so it was at that orange County fair I'm with Kool-Op and we take a look at the She got the discount And I got the other discount

So you're a child discount? So I like that you're having fun with it now. Well, as long as people know it's not true. Of course it's not true Dear God, but this is Lauren. So, are you there? God. It's me. Are you still talking to Margaret? Get off the line, bitch.

I got my period, too. That's what that's all about. I don't know if you know that. Is that bullshit not period about it? Right? Important. I read it. I read all those Judy Bloom books when I was a kid.

Right. Is that the inciting incident? She was cool. She is cool. She's still around. Yeah, she's still around. She's still doing cool shit. You got on a ride. It was. Okay, so the ride we took a look at this ride and it was the thing that you know, it's it's really just like a people mover across. Oh, I wanted to get on that. Okay, so yeah, it's a ski lift. Yeah, it's a ski lift. Yeah, basically. So we looked at that and said, oh, that sounds fun. So let's get on it. It lifts off of the ground.

And within 15 seconds, we are both terrified. I think I would be too. There's nothing preventing you from just like- Slipping off. Slipping off. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, You're in a seat. You're in a seat. It's like a ski lift and there he's a... How he's strapped in. There's a bar. That is very nice. But you could maybe hold onto it for a falling.

And then you just start realizing how high you are and how precar... You know, just like the... A precious life is. A precious life is and how little you've done to deserve this chance. But... But to your nephew, he invited you to Christmas. You're just being held on by... Who knows, like a wire or something like that. Yeah.

So we're just, we're terrified and Kula says she's terrified, and then I realize, oh, shit, I have to act not terrified or else she's going to panic. Yeah. So I'm like, it's okay, honey. You know, I'm just like giving her the real calm vibes and meanwhile screaming inside like, get me off this thing. And then it just goes across the entire fair and Never ends and it's like a 15 minute long ride.

Yeah, we almost took it back to get back to our car was our plan. But on the way there We almost got into car accident and Mike did that technique of being extremely calm. Oh, yeah, scary Did it calm you down or was it for other people? It was, it was just, no, it was just me and him. And it was, it did work, but it was kind of funny. Because first of all, on the way to the airport to get back to LA recently, we got in a car accident and our Uber and we got re-rended. Right.

Just the other day. And you're driving down the street. Yes. And got re-rended. Right. And you didn't know what to say. It was actually, well, someone did. And it was really jarring and it really hurt my back.

But anyways, I'm not your neck. Am I posing my crack? So when this happened, we watched someone on the freeway rear end into somebody else like, whoof, really hard. And then that person quickly got into the lane that we were in trying to get to they wouldn't really do someone else. Right.

Yeah. And then we almost hit them. Oof. And then Mike just kept going and then I got us away and then he was like, okay, what were you just saying? And I was like, okay, so I was gonna say. Are we not, yeah, go ahead. Ah!

But it was like very chill. Was he like a stunt driver? Yeah, was he really impressed? Were you like, because we were like, if he had been like a second delayed, we could have really gotten into bad accidents. Well, there's been a strange little spate of comedy people getting in car accidents lately.

Yeah, it's really weird. It's really weird. Didn't even talk about that both way. We have that accident in Brooklyn that I told you guys about. Right, yeah. Then Tony Newsom got rear-ended in an Uber again. See, this is the thing, you always feel fine

when you get into an Uber. You don't know this person like that. It's worse than someone you know, Dr. Newsom. I would rather be driving and get into an accident than get into an accident with someone you don't know this person like that. It's worse than someone you know, Dr. I would rather be driving and get into an accident than get into an accident with someone I don't know. Do you know what? I've taken so many cabs and other types of, you know, cars like that. Small jet engine planes.

Small jet engine planes. What is that? I've never been in an accident until this past year. I wonder if there are, if the people who are doing ubers are, I mean, cabs, there's another uber that we're ended our Uber. Oh my. If you're going to do Uber, you better be good. I do think that the self-driving cars I look forward to that because I think I think a lot of this will, you know, my theory, you know know my theory, I don't know your. It's got to be everything at the same time. Yeah.

Meaning every car is self-trained every you can have. It's like with bathrooms. It's like with bathrooms. Do the automatic water and soap and paper towels. Yeah. Otherwise, I sit there with my hand underneath the soap. That's right. Do we think that automatic soap and water is helpful? Is it actually saving resources? I think they did it. They did it for the water, definitely, for this.

I wonder if I can. Can I tell you because I, people, I hate it on and walk out of that. I hate those things. I hate them. And I was talking with a friend of mine once and saying, like, I wish I could just have regular faucets that I could turn it off. He said, but you know somebody's just going to leave that running. And I was like, I can't imagine that people, why would people do? Why would you do that? A month later, I went into like an airport bathroom with something and a guy had just left to walk away.

Yes, ridiculous. Do you live in the world? Like you turn it off. People are fucked up. It's so weird. People are stupid. A thing that drives me crazy is people spinning gum into urinals. The fuck, they're so gross.

People do it all the fucking time. It's not going anywhere. It's not good. It's just going to sit there for someone to have to scrape off. For 80 here, a gumtrial grow out of the urinal. That makes me sick. It's like to say, and there's nothing grosser than the idea of gum alley. Gum being pissed on.

Gum in general is weird. I love gum. You love gum. Yeah. So when gave me some gum, I think it might have been you the other day. Yes. I put it in my mouth and I was like, what is the purpose of this?

Dude, it's taste good. I like to chew and it smells like. I like to chew. That I get. Yeah. Maybe I don't like to chew and that smells like I like to chew That I get yeah, maybe I don't like to chew and that's why I don't like it Yeah, it just feels like the flavor is very fleeting. Yeah, yeah It looks really stupid to chew gum it feels like a con that the wriggly Family has inflicted upon us like hey, this is a thing we all like to do and suddenly gum is everywhere And then you go into the airports and they're all like, hey, do you want some gum with that?

I'm like, who's giving gum in the airport? I'm selling you at the airport. Oh, yeah, so no one's doing that all the time. No. In the airport, they're always like, no, no, no, no, no, no every single time? No one has ever asked me if I want something more at Hudson News. Really? Ever. What do you buy at Hudson News?

Water and gum. I buy water and I buy a snack. You're like, damn, I can't upsell this one. Do you know if they said, would you like to buy Reese's pieces with that? I would have a high top. Honestly, yeah, I would probably go, I'd be like, oh, why did you say that? Would you like to buy this stupid stuff, Dan? What would that be?

Yeah. Can I interest you in a rolling stone? Oh my guess. What's the magazine named after the band? No, I think it was named after the Dylan song. I like a rolling stone. Either way dumb. Either way, yeah, call it rock magazine. Oh, is that why because it's rock, rolling rock beer. Do you remember when that magazine, the beer magazine, years ago in that

magazine, she bangs comes out. What? Because Ricky Martin was so popular. Oh, no. And now she bangs magazine is still very journalistically. Paul, I think one could argue that the impact that Bob Dylan had on the culture is perhaps a little more significant than Ricky Martin. Hey, what culture? Why didn't they name it Blown in the Wind magazine? That's a good point. See, there you have a point. How about Laylai McTerry?

There, I totally agree with you I would prefer lay lady lady lady funny Onion mag is it was like the onion Just funny is on you at the county fair. It was a weird shape And it said it was Bob Dylan on the cover and it was like Bob Dylan on how he likes his corn and why he was That's so funny and then somebody commented It's even funnier because it's like implies that he was more he that's so funny. And then somebody commented, it's even funnier because it's like implies that he was more, he would sit down with you to talk about corn, but he wouldn't go accept his Nobel Prize or whatever.

He won and I love that. I thought that was so funny. I love that. And then I was like, I want to know why he likes his corn. I love the onion. I can't imagine anyone being that important to people anymore. Do you know what I mean? Like everyone just...

Like, because everyone getting on the same page was so mean. Everyone's just like, Bob Dylan speaks for all of us at who are this age between, you know, like, you know, what at the time, 16 and 25 or whatever. Bob Dylan. You don't think it's the same case with Billy Eilish? You know, but see, this is the thing. It's like, generationally, probably there are those people who are younger than we just don't care. Oh, yeah, PewDiePie.

Well, like Bob Dylan was that, but everyone was like younger and like, yeah, also there was less, there were less newspapers and stuff. So everyone could just agree on something. Yeah, there was like read and be told what they should. They're only 10 newspapers. There were only 10 musical artists. And there was one radio station and one TV. Yeah, no was like, read and be told what they should. They're only 10 newspapers. They're only 10 musical artists. And there was one radio station and one TV.

Yeah. No, it was weird because they, and a lot of younger people don't know this because a lot of stuff comes out all the time. And it seems like you're on Twitter all the time and like, oh, here's a new song today. Here's a new song today. There would be one album that would come out every month. And everyone would listen to it. And everyone would decide whether it was good or whether it was bad.

And you had a full 30, 31 days to live with it and then a new one would come out on the first of every month Are you sure about this one album per month release schedule? Yeah one album of any of all of all music And on the first you would get you would pay your rent of the month you would get your new record get you would pay your rent. And the first of the month you would get your new record one and made it. What? And what was that you made it? You played on your record players. So then if you were an artist and you had a record deal and they said, you know, you're

probably looking at the album. We're looking at March, but of next year because unfortunately, we're a little backed up. There's like a John Phillips, Suza album that's coming out to Billy Idol. Billy Idol. Do you think Billy Isle is like, this is a little too close to Billy Isle. My favorite thing was I was like,

watch a girl on something and she was like, or maybe it was a top of a song in the Chia, she goes, let me take up my own business line for this. And I was like watching her on something and she was like, or maybe it was a top of a song in the cheese. She goes, let me take up my own business line for this. And that was like relatable. Relatable. Relatable. Relatable.

Lauren, who has, like, has there ever been a musical artist that has spoken to you in that way where you like, listen to their lyrics and you say, this is about my life. This is. Yeah life, this is. Uh, yeah. Great. So ask me, ask me Paul. Nope. Okay.

Wow. Yeah. Great. All right. This is good topic. I've only, I've only heard like this is good topic. I've only heard like three songs. Yeah.

Okay. And they are the wheels on the bus. Wheel on the bus, national anthem. Of course. And have a great green sleeves. Wheels on the bus, national anthem. Of course. Green sleeves. I thought about this the other day. I had, you and I, Lauren, were texting about stupid fights

where the fight is not really what the fight is about. We're on a text train together and you guys did a private one about fights, which makes me think that it's about me. Did I say something wrong? It was about a fight I wished you guys would have Well you did a good job asshole because I'm I'm not on this chain You don't always respond and sometimes we have to have a private chain

because it's like, we're gonna actually respond. I know, but I'm also... Also, we were talking about a thing that did not have anything to do with you. I know, I know, but I'm saying we could... I could tell everyone everything. But I didn't want you to do the delusion. Or I can go off the chain and get a response.

I must sleep by nine. It would be... It would be funny if we felt like no matter what we wanted to talk about, it had to be the three of us. Exactly. So, uh, but look at me and Lauren have a text chain going and it's what? It's purely information. It's like, hey, are you going to this thing?

That's because Scott's great. It's helped me. It's real. What? Uh, we texted about the Basler Ed. We did. Oh, yeah. We did. We texted. It's just mainly a 3DM chain.

Yeah. So that's called my golf chain because we text more. Okay. Just don't be upset. We say sweet things to each other. All right. I like you better than Scott. I like you better than Scott.

I have a fight. So I had a fight with my first comedy partner about the song, Creole. Oh, yes. So we were talking. Wait, was it about green sleeves? Yes. And how does green sleeves go for those people?

Oh, last my love you do. Me wrong to cast me off. It's cursed. Yes, me for I have loved you. Oh, so long on delight delighted in your company. Wow, I didn't know you knew that. And what you also had to fight about another song, it was like, it's an awesome song.

That was a different thing. So the fight was about, he thought the song, he was singing it, but he wasn't when he got to the second half of the lyric. He just sang it the same way as the first. Okay. So it never really resolved. Oh, I see.

He never did this last time. No, no, no,. I mean, it can get stuck in your head that way where you never do the resolving thing. You just, all you know is the first thing. Yes, but I said, I believe that it goes like this and I sang it the way it exactly sounds. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And he was like, he scoffed at me. Oh, he was so, it was great because he was so.

He was scoffed at a man such as you to be so ignorant, but also so, like, great because it was so- Scott, but a man such as you, to be so ignorant, but also so, like, you know, condescending is- The Scott Aquabond. That's your- Yeah, yeah, it feels good. That should be your memoir. Come on, come on. You're all right.

I remember going over your text again about because I had a fight with a friend that was about something very trivial on the surface, but- And I couldn't relate. But it was real. And I said it was real. Am I the friend? No.

You're kind of all about you. I would tell you if it was about you because that would be funny right now. But it was it. And I don't want to tell you what it was about because that's rude. Of course. That's rude. That's rude. Until you have to, we stop. I'll tell you after we set up.

All right, all right, all right. All right, all right, all right. He thought it was crazy to suggest that the song would like, oh, and then the editor goes, da da da da da da da da da da, like just goes to one line, and I'm like, that's how it goes. It was really with this.

And there's his three cell phones and he couldn't like download it on iTunes. No. Can you download Green's Leads? All right, I got a look. Absolutely. Absolutely. It's free.

It should be free. Yeah, song is free. It should be free. Just be free. The other fight was this was a million years ago. And also in Philly, I was daydreaming at a bar with some friends. I remember one of the friends was film director Adam McKay. Oh, okay. We started out, stand up at the same time and Philly.

Sure. And we also were dropping out of college at the same time. Is it free? Well, you have Apple music. 99 cents. Anyway, continue. I want to, I want to, you, this to underscore your story. And so we were at really tinny and we were at this bar, dirty Franks in Philadelphia.

And I think Frank Sinatra saw him came on the jukebox and Adam was saying that Frank Sinatra could not be considered a musician because he doesn't play an instrument. And I said, well, I think he can because of the way he sings. He uses his instrument. His styling. He doesn't just like, you know, it's not just like he's got a, he can carry a tune.

He's doing the same thing that horn players are doing. He's just not doing it into a horn. Yeah, the voice is an instrument. And we went back and forth on this for a long, for a while, and it got heated. And then somebody at a table next to us

laughed at us that it was humiliating. Yeah. Because I instantly saw how stupid it was. Is that why you're not an anchor man? I am an anchor man. Oh, I know. Yes, I am. Yes, perfect.

What are you an anchor man? Are you the anchor man, the titular anchor man? I had a between two furnsized role as the cat fashion show MC. What he is in it. Sorry, I have a bigger role. We were just at the premier last time. We were the movie is very funny.

Thank you. It was very funny. I was thrilled to be there at the premiere. And I'm very proud of you. Congratulations. Thank you very much. I'm proud of Lauren. Thanks.

I'm proud of me too. Oh, Scott, got you're proud of me too. The me too movie. I am proud of that movement. Scott got in a very funny joke about Zach. At when he was introducing the show, they did a little. Oh, that was funny. And he said, you know, he's thanking everyone individually.

Lauren and Ryan and the key is you. He's sincere all the way up to. Yes, yes, yes. And then he said, Zach, who, you know, gave it everything he had from sun up to two hours before rap. And he just turn off. Just a light switch and go off and you go, well, that's all we're getting out of Zach today.

That was really, really funny. That was funny. Well, guys, we need to take a break if that's okay with you. Okay, yeah, yeah. Is it okay? Can we? Can we? Can we talk for some?

What do you think? I don't really want to, but I feel like he does, and I feel like he needs that, and he wants to. What are you guys talking about over there? Yeah, well, let's take a break. It's a great idea. All right, let's take a break. We'll be right back.

Well, come back. Come back. Do you think that's where? Welcome back, came from. Welcome back, came from. I know it's where welcome back, Cotter came from. They were like, well, come back, Cotter. And they said, hold on.

That he came from Brooklyn, the 5th largest city in America. That was the, that was the problem is he went back to Brooklyn. They were like, well, come back, Carter. Come back, Carter. Well. Hi, Lauren. Are you done with your hoops now? Yes. My meetsafonic friends will not be mad at me. My meetsafonic friends will not be mad at me. So my meetsafonic friends will not be mad at me.

All right. We were eating hoops because someone sent us some hoops. So thank you. So there you go. Ah, look, no more explanation. Love you hoops, babe. What more can I tell you? BBQ. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no people did. Okay, well, a very nice person named Rory sent us this 3DM hoop.

And also, Dan. Basically, it's a basketball hoop with our photos on it, like a mini basketball hoop that goes above the trash. It's unconnected to the hoops, the bag of hoops. Yeah, the bag of hoops. Wait, one time listeners know that hoops are a Fritos product. I was gonna say project. She's letting us know that she's Rory a girl.

Is what I mean? No, Rory. Yes, not the boy. You don't think it's from Gilmore Girls' Rory? Oh, that's the dream. Did she come to life? She did, and she sent us a personalized board. What podcast do you think your favorite

fictional characters would listen to? Oh, I know that Rory would be a pod save America girl. That's true. Okay, I don't know. I guess on the show, we promise to say people's names if they mailed us their name. Now, I don't recall saying another crucial error. There are a lot of them. Or was it names that we should all be?

Dear Scott, awkward. What? I don't, I don't remember. I'll tell you what it is. Names that we should all be. Dear Scott, awkward. What? I don't know. I'll tell you what it is. Names that we should all be. Yeah, I don't know. Dear Scott, awkward duty and remaining three-dom boys, please say our names on air as you promised.

One, Brian, two, Kevin. That will be all for today. You take care of Scott, OJ voice, best, Brian and Kevin. Right in the trash. Right in the trash. I just want to say the name Doug Rice. What's good? And I want the just his name on a piece of paper. Oh, okay. And I want to say the name Doug Rice. What did Doug say? And I want the just his name on a piece of paper.

Oh, okay. And I want to say the name. Wait, wait, wait. Did people just say send their names? That's it. That's, okay. It's all right, but no more. Deanna Ortiz who sent us her name and a dollar,

which I'm going to keep. Why? She went to the trouble of opening the envelope. Damn it. And then someone sent us their name really big. I'll find that later. Yeah. And then we also got... We just looked at it. We then someone sent us their name really big. I'll find that later. Yeah, right there. We also got,

I mean, Campy Lapis. We also got a ton of pens from someone who works at Pentel and I won't reveal their name, but I'm thrilled about these pens. Yes, thank you for the pens. These are good high quality pens. Thank you, Pentel person. I hope you don't get fired for this.

Yeah, I hope you do get fired for this. Well, that's enough for now. Yeah. And we'll get into more later. I want to do get fired for this. Well, that's enough for now. Yeah. Um, I want to get into more later. I want to call HR on this person. I'm not going to say guy because it could also be a woman. That's right. Or a non-binary person.

Yeah. Anyone could be a thief. I don't think so. I don't think non-binary people are a thiefs. No, no. Oh, someone sent me a spoon to eat yogurt. There's still both the spirits. Someone sent me a spoon to eat yogurt while we're courting.

Thanks, Will Martin. Thanks, Will Martin. That's very nice. Do you not have any spoons at your place? I just slurped the yogurt with my tongue like a doggy. Do you think dogs, if they love yogurt so much, if they wire they so fat? If then, if doger, if doger,

if doger, if do get it. If dog. If dog. Then why? If dogs could use spoons, what is it? Dog. Dog yogurt. It's so good. If dogs could use tools essentially, if they could use, no, I don't care about other tools. I want to say that I want to know. Tim Derby. Tim Derby. If dogs could use spoons, would they or would they just go, look, I'm down here already. My time. It's well

Why let's eliminate the middle man? Let me just get in there Like they already have no dignity You like the way they work it Spoons were invented because of dates spoons were invented because spoons were invented because of dates Spoons were invented because of dates because Boons were invented because of dates. Because you don't want to look like a slob, just doing, what, when you're on a date. So they invented spoons.

So they invented two butt cheeks when you acted that. That's it. That's it. Yeah, because at home, just spoon the butt hole. I like the microdex and in the butt hole. Yeah, we got him. Because if you're at home, you do just lap it out of the bowl.

I'm saying that people use you in medieval times when you go to medieval times a restaurant, they make you do that. Yeah, that's true. So at a certain point, medieval times at a restaurant. What is it? What is it?

Theme park to you? I've got a game place. Game place? It's a spare playing games. You're not playing games. And I'm a loveless. But technically you are playing a game. You're acting the role of...

Then it's a theater. You know, many, many games are going on. Everyone's got a crown on. You're a visiting monarch from another country. Is it visiting monarchs or is it like everyone is a king and we're doing a co-kingship? Well I think they nominate someone to actually be the king. Okay, so what but everyone's wearing crowns. Yeah, everyone can you wear a crown if you're not a king?

It's not a king. Have you been a Burger King? Have you? It's damn you got me. It's because of the A.A. King. Yeah. I just want to tell you about Burger King. Oh, what's the next one's the next time you'll be a Burger King?

Unfreciable. I think the last time I was a Burger King. Okay, magic apple. Better not tell you. 2010. And I know this. I know this. I remember where I was eating it. I was eating in my apartment that I lived in at that time. And I got stomach pains that felt like I was being chopped with a knife.

Yeah. And so I decided that was it. That was it for Burger King, really? It's strange how, and it made, it probably doesn't have anything to do with the Burger King. That's the other thing. It probably is. I'm gonna do with it.

No, you usually- I think it was directly- No, no, probably a voodoo attack. You can get those kind of illnesses from 72 hours before. That's why- That's true. That's why when you call up, when you call up, finally more Burger King.

No, I'm saying, this happened to me. I ate a mick rib. I was in Joshua tree. And you were shitting. Oh, I know this story. I was in Joshua tree with Kool-Up and before a bunch of people were to arrive for New York City.

I was looking for how to explain it. And I was there for three days trying to finish the script before the people got there. So I finished the script and there was no internet where we were and so we went to McDonald's where there was free internet. And I said, oh, the Macribus back. I'd never had one.

I'll have one. It's always back. It's always back. What I mean? Like what's going on? Did it ever even leave? Did it ever leave? Like this? Like back to school. It's always back to school. It on? Did it ever even leave it? Did it ever leave it? It's always back to school.

It's always back to school. It's like, hey, I've been in school the whole time waiting for you. Bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap,

bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap the McRib go back to the Joshua tree place and within half an hour, I'm projectile vomiting. I tell you, it was the McRib. No, I'm telling you, we thought it was really funny to blame it on the McRib, but everyone had a great time. It was hilarious. But then I read an article about how everyone blames the very previous thing that they ate and it's usually not.

It's usually something from, you know, and I can be anywhere from up to three days before. And then I started thinking about the next day I started thinking about that my cousin for Christmas had just given me these jams and jellies that she had made, interbasement. And I was like, well, that's the other thing I ate that day. I better throw that out in case that's what it was. And then I read another article about how those jam and jelly jars are just like they have so much bacteria in them and so many people get like sick from them.

Why do they feel like bacteria in them? I don't know. But that's, but I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I have immediately through to it. Yeah. I just said, Hey, do you know this? Hey, it's up. Can you tell me why?

And I was like, why are you talking to me? You got any leads? Call our tip line. I mean, remember how I threw up in Minnesota? And I'm now wondering maybe that was from what I ate the night before or something. Very well could be, because you were. Because it was so weird.

Lauren, after a show, we had like two drinks and you were throwing up. I had a drink and a half. Yeah, and it didn't seem like you were drunk at all or anything like it. It just seemed like you were sick. And I think it's just from something you ate earlier in the day.

Are you drinking ever clear? Yeah. Well, I go hard. We went to it. We went to college party. Oh my. What did you, let's go back. Yeah.

Why did you eat? Okay. So are you ready to go back? So the first night in Minnesota, we went out to dinner and I ate that big fucking pasta. The big cookie. Well, no, that was the big cookie. Was that the big cookie? We got nobody else got sick from the big cookie. Well, no, the big cookie. Was that the big cookie?

Nobody else got sick from the big thing. Oh, that's right. We ate that pasta with the chicken. But I ate that pasta with the chicken. Stop it. Which was really good. And then I the next day had that

shit whole avocado toast, which I talked about. Whoa, this is it. And I thought it was so gross that I threw it in this trash. Who's it? Who's it? Who's it? Who's it?

Who's it? And then I ate that really good pasta at the place we had the drinks, which unfortunately was what I saw when I threw up. That's so the avocado toast. This is what it is. You thought it was gross, by the way. Maybe it was. Did it have eggs on it?

Yeah. They undercooked the eggs. I read a different article about how there was a local restaurant here in LA that fucked that thing. I didn't like you. That would be. There was a local restaurant in LA that everyone assumed they got sick from whatever they ate right before it. But then when you call, I forget whether it's called, but you call a line.

But when you get sick from food from a restaurant and they take you back for over three days and they say, where did you eat, where did you eat? And then the one thing everyone had in common was this one restaurant that did Eggs Benedict. And they all had the Eggs Benedict, and they investigated, and it was like, everyone was under cooking the eggs. Wow.

Let me tell you, I just want you to make a perfect medium-boiled egg. And I'm going to give everyone information right now. Because every time I make them, everyone goes, this is the perfect egg. I'm really going to give you. Who's over at your house? My family was just here. I made them my dad everyone information right now. Because every time I make them, everyone goes, this is the perfect day. I'm really gonna use it. Who's over at your house? My family was just here.

I made them my dad when I was home. I've been making the food. She was actually the whole time. I get made it for some friends. I mean, people are loving the eggs. Okay. All right, how do you do it? What do you, what do you, what do you, what do you need?

I'm gonna give you, you need eggs, a big pot, water, and that's it. And a sodded spoon, or you know, for pasta, something that can grab an egg. Okay. Well, a big pot of water. You need to have some room for the eggs to get into it. Then you put the egg into the slotted spoon thing that whatever you're gonna use,

and you lower it gently into the pot. Okay. And you lower it gently into the pot because Do do do do do. Okay. And you lower it gently into the pot because I've cracked a few and then they start exploding in the boiling water and then it's really gross. So you gently lower it and tip it into the base. And then, once you put them all in,

you set a timer for exactly six and a half minutes. Six and a half. The second it's done, oh you need to do more things actually, you're gonna take a put all the eggs with your slotted spoon into an ice of all of ice water. Ice water. So two different types of waters.

I'm not doing this. Hot water. And then their perfect honey. How long are they in the ice water? Until they're cool enough to eat. And then you put them in the fridge and have them two days later and they're still perfect. They're still good. When you say medium boiled egg, put them in the fridge and have them two days later and they're still perfect still good Man, when you say medium-boiled egg. What are we talking consists of the egg yolk is a bright like a dark yellow

Mm-hmm, and it has a nice creamy texture to it. I like and the yolk is completely I mean the white is completely hard How do you eat these eggs? Do you put salt on it and just chomp on it? I do that. I do that I also put them on avocado toast that I make at home. That is bomb dig. God. No dignity. No doubt. What's your favorite thing to make at home for yourself?

Oh, do you know I like to make, and we've talked about it before, I like to make a breakfast. English muffin. Yes. I remember that about you. I remember that about you. Thank you.

Thank you. You're retesting me. See what I'm saying? You liar. I have to make the cool up. Retesting me? See what I'm saying? You liar. I have to make, I have to come up with a recipe that's my thing that I make. Yeah. And you should change.

Because you're without basing it on any other recipe, you should just do it by trial and error with the same thing. I don't mean invent a thing. Oh, we invented a thing. I mean, I should say. What's your goal on a second? Let me finish my guys.

I want you to finish. There's plenty of time to talk about Bill Cosby. I, um, I, because Jamie loves to cook and she cooks all the time. And I always feel bad. I often feel bad that I don't, like, ever, but you're also a man. It's your right. I'm chopping wood all fucking nice. Chopin, broccoli, chopin, broccoli, chopin, broccoli. And chicken, make a lot of your house bed. You're canceled.in' broccoli. Chopin' broccoli. Chopin' broccoli. And chicken make a lasian house bed.

You're canceled. Chicken, broccoli. Um, so I want to figure out, I want to decide what is my thing going to be. Is what is my thing going to be? Would you decide it because you would have it one day and go, this is delicious, I want to make this? I think I got to think about things that I like to eat.

Yeah. All right, keep thinking it would be like some sort of... Puh. Believe me, I got that recipe, but... Oh, I'm not. I keep thinking it would be like a pasta dish. Yeah. Like a hearty sort of thing.

I think you should eat one pasta dish every single day at various places and then find... That's a great plan. Find the one. And then then stop exercising three room for it 300 pounds later find the one and then you marry up a tower. What did I do to save time? Some crowd. On a holiday he pots at restaurants morning noon and night. Okay great. I wish I could. Don't you wish you could do that. I love pasta. Yeah love pasta. What's your thing for you and Vettit? Mike, and I make a thing. Maybe I mentioned it to you.

We call it junk. And so it's every vegetable that you have in your house or like a quinoa, whatever, like thing. Any grain, any vegetable. Any grain, any vegetable, and some, usually some fake meat that we have. Okay. And you just put it in a pan and fry it up all together. A different rates based on what, how fast the vegetables cook.

And then you just toss it with some like butter and spices and sultz and the first and it's just delicious. And it feels healthy because it's all vegetable. When are you having us over for this? Junk night. Junk is not for others. Junk's not for others. That's kind of the thing because junk is so trial and error.

And because you don't know what it is going to be. It's like scary to think about serving it to somebody. Yeah. Was he in a movie called trial? Yes he was. You know, I thought you were trying out some risk of material and error on the side of racist. Sometimes does the junk not work out? It's had moments where it's like not amazing.

Yeah, but it still is like comfort in your together moments where it's like not amazing. Look, I don't. Yeah, but it still is like comfort in your together. And it's like, at least we have our love. Yeah, and I mean, we didn't order food. One language. What kind of fake meat do you like to use? The Gardene brand, chicken tenders are really good. And the Gardene brand, Mulez Meatballs and garlics.

Look, Gardene, if you're out there, we are shouting you out so hard. Yeah, man. And this stuff, Gardene. And moreulez meatballs, and garlic. Look, Gardene, if you're out there, we are shouting you out so hard. Yeah, man. Yeah, man. And morning star maple patty. Morning star. I eat morning star stuff. Get this.

I eat the morning star. I use the regular and I eat the spicy. Does it get? I call them snausage. We should have a call them in our household. Thank you. We should have a three-dom potluck on the show. We should do a problem in our household. We should have a freedom pot look on the show. We should do an episode where we have a pot look.

I think it should be baked goods. Where we talk for a while, but if we get cold, during the break we eat it, it's unsatisfying. Then we get back to go home and say, well, that wasn't a good idea. I'll make you all a medium boiled eggs. Okay, please, that'll be your thing. They travel great, right?

I have a container that's, I got in Japan that's just for one day. Just for one day. Oh wow. I'm really excited about it. You bring the eggs, Paulie's gonna make a pasta. Good plan, King. Remember that from Sesame Street? Yeah.

There was a bit that that is, I guess it's like Carl Tart. It taught you. That's very cool. Remember that from Sesame Street? There is a bit on Sesame Street that That's very cool. Is that for Cessu? There is a bit on Sesame Street that taught you, I guess, basically how to organize things. Because the King wanted to have a party like a picnic for the kingdom. Sure. A benevolent king.

People didn't use a benevolent king. This guy was benevolent king people didn't use a most came is this guy was benevolent and he Was telling everybody everybody brings something and these dumb dumb's are like what do we bring? He's like, you know stuff like a potato salad. So then everybody brought potato salad. Oh Okay, no, no, no, no, no, you can't just all bring potato salad bring stuff like watermelon too Then everyone brings water That's right then somebody has to tell the king, you got to fucking break it down for these people. Yeah.

So does he list every single thing? Yes. He says, he points to people and says, you bring a watermelon. Good plan, King. They also have good plan. I like that. And the idea was, this is, you have to make a plan and then things will go smoother. So the moral of this is not don't just cow-tow to whoever in charge, obsequiously. Very much there it is. Very much you have to

try to please him. You have to try and enter. So just listen to plans that your masters make for you and do whatever they tell you. Can I tell you something? If you're dumb as these peasants, that is what you should do. It's a good point. Wouldn't it be fun to be on Sesame Street? Can you cut to the end, get it with the song? We all were on Sesame Street together, and I know you're angling to be alone on this, but I think the only way that we get on is if we hitch our wagon's to you. And we count to three together, and we go one, two, three dumb, and people are like, I already know how to count to three.

And they also go, I don't know what you're talking about. Well, what is the freedom? I tried to play it right away, but she didn't get it. No one has a stature premium account. All right, listen to this, this is great. The good. Great song about plans. Of course, that's what I'll do.

I'll play it in my picnic. Why is he a hillbill? You, you bring the hot dog. You got it, King. You bring the watermelon. Sure thing, King. And you bring the pickle relish. You bet, King. You bring the napkins. You got it, King. You bring the watermelon. Sure thing, King. And you bring the pickle relish. You bet, King.

You bring the napkins. Good, Blank King. You bring the mayonnaise. Good, Blank King. You bring the mustard. Good, Blank King. You bring the hot rolls. Good, Blank King.

You bring the soft rolls. Good, Blank King's plan was. Everyone, the kingdom brought something different. It's like Calli Beret. She's very keen. Everybody had a wonderful hot dog. I didn't mean it like that. We got it.

You got something. I did. We got the ice cream. We got it. Well, that's it. Yum, yum. Yeah. That was delightful.

That's like the world's first rap. There are so many Sesame Street songs that stay with you forever. There's one that is a paint. There was like a bowling one. And then there's an elevator one to find the elevator one. I like my favorite. P is for pussy. That's good. You're trying to ruin my chances to get on your chances now. Well, yeah, you ruined yours a long time ago. Who's like the dirtiest person they've had on this? I don't know. Despite their their career, they were allowed to get any Bruce.

Yeah. Look, we have to take, you want to watch this? We have to take a break, but let's watch this on our way out. I think it's a part two. Now, here's the count to play us out. I don't know if this is the right way. What does that mean to play us out? I don't think this is it.

This is not it. We'll come back and we'll have it. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 8, little and understanding and a like. I got a lot of fun with this song. I hate this song. Lyrics are not great. The number is still even extens. Like one, two, three, four, five, what are you even talking about? Most of those animals are huge. Yeah.

They're not little animals. Little animals. They're not my... They're not my... They're not my... They're not my... They're not my... They're not my...

They're not my... They're not my... They're not my... They're not my... They're not my... They're not my... They're not my... They're not my... They're not my... They're not my... They're not my... They're not my... TV of course he knows what he's talking about. Of course I know what I'm talking about. Okay. And plays one of the bedrooms.

It. What do we have on deck for three. What do we have here? What do we have? We got one called Robert Yoon comes through again. Robert, you're the man. Dude, here's the game. Good cop, bad cop.

Two hosts act as good cop and bad cop interacting with a person in an insignificant scenario. For example, a couple adopting a pet, a band member, interviewing a new drummer. A pet. Well, I was going to let it go. Meaning not police related. Life and death other than for the life of the life and exactly where you're not in, you're not in crime trouble. Sure. You're just a regular.

Yeah. So who wants to be the good cop and who wants to be the bad cop and who wants to be the interviewer? You pointed at yourself when you said interviewer. Yeah. I pointed at you for good cop. You for bad cop. So would you like us to do that?

Yeah. Okay. And what's the scenario? You come up with it. Okay. Okay. I'll just think for a second. Just think for a second. All right. And we'll have you in. And we're, by the way, we're not cops or are we cops? No, we're not cops. Okay. We're just friends. Okay. But it's a good cop bad cop. Yeah. Work at the same place. We work at the same place.

Yeah. Lauren, do you mind coming in here? Oh, come on in. Wait, do we have a scenario yet? Yeah, I'm sure. What is it? Tell it, you have to tell us in advance. Oh, I was just going to ask. I was trying to think of one. Do you get what this is? Yes, I do, but I was going to have it come out organically where I said, I'm sure you know why you're here. And then she would have told us, but apparently, um, that's not good enough. Well, I just had like think of a situation. Thank you. She's walking into our place of business. Yeah, we didn't summon her in here. Well, we could. That's what I was trying to do. Okay. All right. Okay. Um,

Lauren, thank you for coming here. Hey, hey, yeah, I'm sure you know why you're here. Yeah, I was coming to get a haircut from you guys. Of course, that's why we called you wanted to talk about what I want and see what you want. Yeah, what you want. We're not artists here. We're not the people who can decide what we think you should have. Hey, let me talk to her for a second. I don't know, it just pisses me off. All right, you, you try to talk some sense into it. I want you to have the haircut that you want. Okay, this guy, he's nuts. Okay, I'm your friend. Like the way I want to do it is, I want you to say, you know, do XYZ, I want a little this, a little that,

whatever, and that's what I want to do for you. But he's got ideas. So, well, let's just shave her head. No, we just shave her head right now. Hold her down. Hold her down. Just a second. Get off of me.

Lauren, let me talk to him for a second. I think she's really close. Okay. All right. So, what do we want to do to her? I think she just needs to get her bangs trimmed. And maybe I think we should give her some, some pretty harsh bangs because I think you look really good on it. Yeah. Like blunt bangs. Yeah, just like barely just like you know a millimeter of bangs.

Just like just covering the hair line. Yeah exactly. That always looks good. Yeah. So we're close on this right? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So let me let let me butter up a little bit and then I come in for the, all right. Now look. Yeah, so what was it that you wanted to have done? I wanted to, I'm starting to grow up my bangs and I wanted them to kind of push the side. Oh, that's a great idea. And then I wanted to have my hair go sort of like cake, Goslin from John and Keith Plus 8,

kind of the old cake, Goslin where it's really short. Classic cake, Goslin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you even talking about? That is the ugliest haircut that you have ever described here. Hey man, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me us a cup of coffee. You're gender, you're race. Go get us a couple coffees. I can. All right. How do you want it? I want two sugars.

One to sugars. What? Wait, don't don't back on me. Yeah. Are you hearing this guy? Yeah. He wants to. That's normal. We're already getting better. All right. I'll get.

What were you going to say? Look, he, I know he's not going to let me completely do what you want to do. Okay. So what I think to just make this all go away, how about we trim your bangs and we give you some highlights? Okay, why do I have to do that when I could go anywhere else? Hey, I got your coffee. So I got the clippers too. Here we go.

Let's shave your head. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'll do it everywhere. How about this? How about this? Just like really harsh bangs. Like tiny, like no matter. Just a moment or just, it's not far enough. Just covering the hair. Just covering the hair. That's not far enough. I want a shaver head. Come on man.

Oh, all right. Whatever you say. Can you work with that? Yes. Okay. As long as I get to keep the rest of it and make it really short in the back, but long in the front.

I can't make any promises, but I'll see what I can do. And seen. Hey, fun. It was perfect. It was perfect. It was perfect. I think my notes would be just that it was so perfect.

It was unrelated. Okay. All right. Are we going to your customer on your good card? I'm the bad guy. I'm the costumer. You want to come up with the scenario? Yes, give me one moment. Certainly.

What should we do while he thinks of this scenario? I'm going to look at Instagram. Well, you're kind of leaving me holding the bag here. Wow. Am I? All right. I'm ordering. it's flower shop, and I'm getting some flowers for my wedding anniversary.

OK. Hi, sir. Hi there. I'll be right back. Yeah, I was looking to get some flowers. It's my wedding anniversary tomorrow. You are looking to get some flowers for your wedding anniversary tomorrow?

Yeah. I think we could, are you okay, sir? Yeah, you need to maybe I could get you a pillow or a nervous, I hiccup. No, no, I'm just confused because you know your anniversary is coming a year in advance. Hold on, I'm sure we can work right now. Look, it's inconvenient for us, sure, but I'm sure we can work something out. You want the flowers tomorrow or do you want them tonight for tomorrow? I guess I wanted to get them.

Well, ideally tomorrow is going to be fresher. I could pick them up. I thought I could place the order now and then get the flowers tomorrow. You thought? How would the day after work for you? Well, not great because that's the day after the anniversary. I can't do this. I can't.

What did I do? So the day we suggested isn't going to work for you because it's the day after the anniversary. Yeah, that's the problem. That's your take. Hold on, hold on. I think we're okay. I think we can figure out a solution here.

I think what we could do is give you flowers the day after your anniversary, but maybe call your wife and say, hey, he placed in order. He just came in a little too late. Yeah, I'd really rather get the flowers for the anniversary. We have a really nice conversation with them. But you understand, you're not the boss, bud.

It's not up to you to hear what you like and what you think and what you thought and what you wanted and what you planned. Well, I mean, what about the customers always write? Also, who made up that, quote, a customer and customers fucking Look at I'm sorry, but you have to look at the sign we put up. It's the bosses are always right Signs the bosses are never Look, they're never wrong Did you say customers are never wrong? I know what I said and I don't need it. Can I talk to you for a second?

Sure, look she's crazy. Yeah, obviously she's clinically insane. She doesn't even work here. I mean, I lit she, she's literally my grandma and she's chasing off. She's younger than you. Yeah. Isn't that weird? Yeah. That's crazy. So is it that you don't have enough, you can't fulfill the order in time? Is that, is that what it is? Here's the problem. Is this weird lazy? And we have a lot of stuff that we were thinking of doing until tomorrow. I could probably push some stuff around, but the thing is that she's not going to want me to, you know, I need to take her to, you know, Thanksgiving dinner early because she's, she's, I think she's going to be dead by Thanksgiving. Hello. So you're going to have Thanksgiving in March? Yes. Okay. Yes. She wants one last

Thanksgiving with the kids. Well, look, and we have that plan for tomorrow. You, I mean, this, ostensibly, this is probably more important than your anniversary. One last Thanksgiving with the kids. ostensibly. I beg your pardon? ostensibly. Did you say ostensibly? I heard that he wants you to stencil him. And actually, you're supposed to stencil me. And if you want your flowers in time, a stencil me. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Can I ask you something? Sure. We could do Thanksgiving on a Friday.

Couldn't we instead of Thursday? March 20th instead of March 19th? I wanted to be on the third Thursday. If this fine young man, he's a great young man, isn't he, with a how long have you been married? A year. One year, we could get him some flowers if he were willing to pay several thousand dollars for them.

Oh, wouldn't he? How many several thousand dollars? Look, I'll give you three flowers. You know what? I'm willing to do this. I was looking for three thousand dollars. I'm like, it does in roses kind of thing. I'm going to do a, oh, we can't do that.

Into a summer salt to say thank you so much for your thousands because we are going under. We're going out of business. We cost you a ton. That's so much. This will pay for our month rent. This will pay for one month rent. We just very high. It's $3,000 a month. Right. And you see the location. And the flowers are so cheap. The flowers are so cheap and we're willing to give them to you first. They're so much. I'm realizing my life is nearing its end and I'm starting to regret being a bad cop type person shit Look Boom chick a pop

Good stuff good and that one I would say was so perfect I'm the good cop. I'm the bad cop. And the scenario is I want you guys work at a college and I want to switch my classes. Okay. Hey. Hey. Wait, who are we again? I was reading. We work at a college and he wants to switch his classes. We work at a college.

Well, weird conversation for you guys to have. Is that right, Shipper? Hey, you're here. We've been actually hoping you would show up. You were. Oh, yeah. I've been dying for you to walk in here. We wanted a handsome student to come talk to us about his problems. Yeah. Want to help you sort out your problem.

Why are you smacking your fist into your open palm? Oh, just be glad that that's what I'm doing right now because it could be a mitt and he was a great baseball player for so many years. Who'd you play for? Fuck you. I asked the questions around here. What are you doing for a team? You know his name? I don't know his name. I'm like, I don't know. I'm like, I don't know. I'm like, I'm kind of weird names these days.

This is orange strawberry. Who played it? Who played on for who's on for a minute? Mine is orange strawberry. What position did you play? First base. Third base. Why did you say third base to me?

Hey, you are, you are the old third base and on my team's name was first base. Wait, wait, wait, wait. You're working me, man. You're working me. You're going to regret it. Speedy pie, what do you want? Because you're actually getting a really good.

Look, honey. Don't go mad. Don't go mad. Wow. Door slam. Two bad cops. Go to hell and suck the rock. Make your swallow down your gullet.

Go down there and eat a bullet. Run to the store by your roll, bring it to your mom. Oh, what a roll. He likes rolls, you like rolls. Everyone has so many rolls. Go to the store and get some hoops. Oops, I did it again. And then, and then, I went to the friend who then bought me some chips

Whips whips whips and chains chains chains all know no one needs to Whips whips change change change that's not describing his bedroom games fuck you All right good feature good All right, good feature. Good feature. That was fun, you guys. All right, we gotta go. Bye bye.

We got one more episode, so we'll see you next episode. We love you. And so thank you for listening. We love you. Thank you, bye. We're love