Threedom - Threevisiting: I'll Pick Up a Buffalo Nickel

Episode Date: September 1, 2026

Threevisiting on the Tues: Scott, Lauren, and Paul discuss locking doors, dimes, and family trips before playing One Three Five and The Picnic Game. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Unlock every episode of THREEDOM and THREEMIUM, ad-free, on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/shop Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lemonado. What's it take to be a mentor with big brothers, big sisters? It takes 30 minutes and a cup of coffee, a video game, best two out of three. It takes sharing thumbs up emojis, clapping emojis, and loaded nachos at halftime. That's how you make an impact on a young kid's life. So go on, share a few hours a month, because mentorship may sound huge, but the truth is, it takes little to be big. To learn more, volunteer or donate, go to bebignow.org. Hey everyone, I'm Dr. Michael Bruce the Sleep Doctor.

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Better in Bed with the Sleep Doctor is out now. Subscribe on YouTube or follow wherever you get your podcast. A push. A push. A push. A bush. A push in a bush. I push my bush in a bush in a bush.

alive. We're life. The roots. It's a long time. Yeah, that's too long. Well, that's what you're committing to with marriage here. Could marriages just be 20 years and then we like reassess without have all the financial considerations of a divorce?

It's just like I want to marry you for 20 years. This was a plot in something that I read. Was it the Simpsons or Seinfeld? Where the people, there were a married couple who. every year on their anniversary would decide if they were going to stay together or not. But I think I think legally, legally the problem is then suddenly like a divorce proceeding happens where you have to split everything equally. It's like, could we just like...

You just wanted to be like, what's mine is mine and what's yours is yours. I'm not countering what you're saying. I'm saying this is familiar to me. How many years have you been married, Paul? It will be 14 years this year, this April. Oh, wow. What about you? 16.

Wow. What about you? It'll be... It'll be... It'll be six years. Single diggies? I can't believe it's been six. That's crazy.

Yeah. It's crazy. It's going to be October, yeah. Yeah, mine's September. Yeah, definitely September. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that'll be October. That's October.

April. April. April. April. Yeah. By the way, welcome to Threatom, I'm Scott. By the way, I'm Paul. By the way, I'm Lauren.

I wasn't even going to say anything, but I figured I should. Yeah, we should probably tell everyone who we are. We should probably tell everyone who we are. Have we ever... Have we ever not identified ourselves on the podcast? Yes. Wow. Almost every episode.

No, I think we always do. I'm trying to remind myself to do. I think we're trying to... trying to eat my lunch. I don't know that's from Richard Dreyfus. The whole time. The whole time. It was Richard Dreyfus and I don't know if he ever said that.

I'm trying to eat my lunch. I'm Mr. Holland. Mr. Holland. Opus. You turkey. We've talked about how,

and I think Sean had the same thing I had, which is when we both saw that movie, we thought that the child went deaf from. From the opus? How loud. From his opus. From the fire truck. It was so bad.

Yeah. Yeah, we talked about this. We've talked a lot about Mr. Holland's opus. Well, you know, it's an opus. It's like there's so much to get him to. It's not like it's a magnum opus. It took him, by the way, 30 years to write that five-minute shitty song. Yeah.

Not to go back over Mr. Holland's opus again because that's not what freedom's about. I think I want to watch that again. Enjoy yourself. Five times. Okay. I was thinking about this this morning because, you know, I don't know if you guys know this, but I recently had a daughter. What? Why don't you tell us anything?

I'm sorry. I totally slipped my mind. She is, as of this, as of people are listening, I don't want to say. Okay, great. But she's over one. Sue, while you spend a whole year not telling us that you had a child. Yeah. She's over one and under two.

Yeah. But she wants to take everything apart. So once she found out that some of her toys naturally unscrew and come apart, now everything is like open, open, open. Yeah, absolutely. And she's constantly looking at everything, trying to figure out how everything works, you know. And I feel like I was not like that as a kid. I feel like I was, because I remember my brother would constantly.

constantly do stuff like he would take off the plates on the electric plugs and show me how everything inside. And I was always like, look at the guts. I was always like, those come off. And I remember I was 13 once. And he was changed. So was I. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Different years probably. For like a year. I did it. I did it for like a year too. It was actually pretty actually exactly one. I think it was 365 days for me. But is it considered 364?

Because it's like there's one last day that you're 12 and then you're 13. That's a good point. And closed on Sundays. Yeah. Right. I didn't. I took 213 on Sundays. Yeah.

But he was chasing me around as he was wont to do when he was supposed to be babysitting me. And trying to murder me. With a switch plate? With a knife several times. And I had a child I babysat. Chase me with a knife once. Wait, the child to chase you with a knife? Yes.

Was he a little bit? boy with red hair wearing overalls? Could have been. He loved to fart on me to. That's Chucky. I got to check back on him. I got to remember his name. Classic Chucky.

Charles. Yeah. Yeah, his name was, his name was. Charles. Chuckie. Cheese. What if Chuck he went through like a sort of finishing school and came out of Charles wearing a turkey?

He's all combed. Hello, I'm Charles. And when he farts, he's like, excuse me. I'm going to stab you, you dumb bitch. He said bitch, right? Well, Freddie did. I don't know if he did. I don't think I've ever seen Chuckie.

Scott hasn't seen. I'm not available. To watch Chuck. I think I've seen the first one. I've seen the first one. Yeah. It's a mere child's play. But I remember my brother trying to like me when we...

Trying to like you. We're all trying to. Hey. I relate. Come on. We're just kidding. when we were able to get locks on our doors. I remember like him.

Oh, you got a lock? Him chasing me and me going to my room and then me locking the door. And then him taking a screwdriver and undoing the doorknob. And I was like, those come off. I had no, like, I had no. You had no interest in how anything worked. He took off his shoes. Those come off?

Yeah. I just wore in the same ones as I was two. Or my dad, when he would like fix things in the drywall, I'd be like, oh, there's like stuff in the walls and wires and shit. What's up with your brain? What do you think it is? I think I do not care about how things work. You were full of very brief wonder.

You've learned a thing about it and then you didn't care. Yeah. I truly, I think that was my father who was always a person who, if there was something wrong and that was he would fix it. He would like look up how to fix it because he didn't want to pay for a repairment or anything. I wish I were like that. I wish I were like that. a lot of really cool things about him that he built their whole house with like he did he built

their whole rearranging the whole floor plan himself like things that are very challenging yeah yeah yeah yeah so he would he would do all that stuff and he he you know learned how to do electric stuff uh cars acoustic stuff yeah guitars that was all he worked on but uh so he was always frustrated that i had no interest in any of this and i was always just like well it works or it doesn't and a repair person comes. It either comes apart or it doesn't. I don't care. Yeah.

Well, like, I'm actually really surprised that your parents let you guys put locks on your doors. Yeah. I think it would have a ring. It feels like, yeah,

I definitely didn't have a lock. My doors sometimes wouldn't even close because it would like swell. Oh, sure. So like I was just like shove it. I'm like, that's as good as we're getting here. Yeah.

Interesting. But you were allowed to add a lock. My brother's door had a lock just because that door happened to work and had a lock. It was like. Right. Like a lock in the knob?

Like one of those? I know it was like an old-timey, regular old. With a key? A deadbolt? In theory, there was no key. I mean, I don't know. The fuck are you talking about? It was like a fucking, yeah, like not a deadbolt,

but it was like, you know, what goes under, there's a doordop and then there's a little like click and you can like do a little lock. Okay. Okay. So there's probably a keyhole, but I don't know. That does sound like a deadbolt, though. Sounds like a deadbolt.

Is that considered a deadbolt? Yes. Not in a live bolt, dear. Excuse me. Let me Google types of locks. Fun. Don't spell it L-O-C-H. Oh, you'll find out about Triters.

Types of Lox. Nessie. I love him on the show so much. Maybe a N-B-L-L-L-R-Lach. We're almost through season two. Oh, boy. Which is a much better season than season one. Oh, good.

Knob locks, deadbolt locks, cam-locks, padlocks, mortis-locks, smart locks, and key padlocks. God, imagine having you know the difference between all those. I guess I would call it a deadbolt lock, and I guess you're right. Good guess. So, congrats. I'm happy for you. There are some families who they just never, like, Kulap comes from a family that never shuts doors, which would drive me crazy. Like she, like when our, her mother will stay with us for months at a time sometimes.

And she'll, like, I'll be taking a shower. I'll get out of the shower. The bedroom door is just wide open. And I'll have to naked go over there and try to shut. Don't make me imagine this. Dripping wet. glistening. Blinding your dogs.

Imagine me with a really good body, please. Beads of water sliding down to my nether regions. My nipples erect. You're saying culop. Ew. The cool air. Kulap just was raised in a family of the never shut doors. Like she would just walk out of the door and just leave it open.

No one year in the shower. Or if I'm sleeping when we would go to, you know, visit her parents in Minnesota. of, I'd be sleeping. She would wake up, go go outside of the room and just leave the door open. Which would, of course, wake me up. Absolutely not. No, you can't do that. Never really shuts doors or anything.

It's just not really top of mind for her. Yeah, privacy issues. She just grew up in a house where everyone, I think, was always in each other's business. I think that's just like a different kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah, it is. Because that's not good. But you had so many siblings.

We had so many people. We were always in each other's business, but not in a great way. But we all, we valued privacy. You'd go into your room, which would be your sanctum. And each of you had your own? Eventually. But we shared rooms for a long time because there were so goddamn many of us. Yeah.

And yeah, I remember getting my own room and it was a huge deal after, you know, my sisters had moved out and everything. And then eventually my brother moved out. My older brother moved out. So it was just me and my little brother. And we had lots of room to Rome. And it was great. Did you feel like it was really different then? I do feel it was really different then.

Like they all moved out and you're like, no, it's just us? Yeah. You were in charge. That was, I was in charge. Like Charles. Like Chuckie. Or Chuckie. Yeah.

Chuckie in charge. Chuckie in charge. Oh, this is a good funnier dive in. Oh, my God. Let's call them. It's perfect. Let me call up Gary Sanchez Productions. But Lauren, your door is never even closed.

Well, my door was closed. It was more of a like, it wasn't always able to be fully closed. In the winter, it would fully close. In the summer, it would not. In the summer, would expand. Yeah. And sometimes my door just wouldn't close, but I could still close it. And you honor that level.

You have to honor it. Yeah. When you see the closed door. But yeah, I mean, I feel like it's interesting, like, thinking of kids having a lock. All the doors in my house have locks. So it's like, I guess once Holly figures out what that is, she could lock the door. Yeah. But, like, that's weird.

I don't know. I think it was like a teenager thing. Like, once we were a teenager. Teenagers definitely want to lock the door. Yeah. Because your parents don't want to walk in on you, you know. Well, also, yeah. Listen to music.

I mean, it's worse. It's worse for them, right? It's bad for every. It's bad for everyone involved. Yeah. You got a knock. You got a knock. You got a knock.

I think it was also like, you got a knack. I think it was also my brother not wanting me to go in his room and vice versa. It was more of against each other. Oh, yeah. Well, yeah, I'm sure my brother was trying to keep me out. But I would go in his room when he wasn't home and clean his room, aka keep every dollar and coin I found. And anything else I wanted to.

You're a little scavenger. Yeah. And that was my payment. Quarter portion. Yeah. I considered my payment for cleaning the room. And how well would you clean it? Well, I liked clean.

I still like cleaning. I liked, like, picking. Do you want to clean up around here? You know, I'm off duty. Unless you have coins hidden somewhere in here. Probably do. She still works for coins. Man, coins, you couldn't even get me to pick one up these days.

Wow. That must be nice for you. No, like pennies and stuff. Remember how thrilling it would need to pick up a penny? I don't think I would stop for a penny. penny at this point. I would stop. Dimes are a symbol of your loved one from the other side in my family.

What? So when I went to a funeral for one of my relatives many years ago and this old woman who I don't know what her relationship was to me or. She had a ward on her nose. Struck your face and say thinner. Yeah. And I was like, bye. Dimes.

She was like, look for dimes. She was like, look for dimes. If you see a dime, that's him saying hello. like look for dimes and then you would then you would see dimes and it's actually very interesting because it's like I understand there's somebody out there is like and think this is whatever yeah because I'm looking for them and whatever and whatever for them well but I'm saying other people would say well the logic behind it is actually that's what I'm saying you see all types of types of coins but you only really notice the dives I like it I'm just being them okay but I feel like there would be many times where it was just a a dime where it's like, why isn't it a nickel or a quarter or a penny? And then it felt like it was like, it is a dime. It is a sign. Okay. It does make me think of the person. Yes. Well, that's nice. That's what I'm saying. To other people, there is a logical reason behind it. But for you,

it was just a nice like, hey, this doesn't actually make sense, but it is making me think of the person and it's a nice thing. Yeah. And do you think if it's a message from beyond, do you think the person, the departed person is saying, give me 10 cents? Yeah. I do think. Please. I need it to get it. in heaven put this on my grave. I do think that. Yeah. Yeah. I'll pick up anything from a nickel above.

Yeah. You'll pick up me too. I'll pick up a nickel. I'll pick up a nickel. If I saw a 50 centpiece, you're telling me I'm not going to bend over for that. Oh, man. 50 cent piece? That would be beautiful.

Odd and unusual. A Kennedy half dollar? Sure. Absolutely. I'll pick up a sack of joia. I'll pick up a Susan B. Anthony. I'll pick up. I'll pick up like a penny if it's a rare penny.

I'll pick up a side of a year. I'll pick up a sack of a size of a dollar. Pick up beside you. A buffalo nickel? I'll pick up a buffalo nickel. I found it on the street corner. I paid for a pickle. Now rhyme your street quarter.

And now I never did Dornner. I didn't think she could do it, but she did it. He did it. That was solid. He didn't say that. It'd make sense. But you don't see money lying around these days anymore. Remember, like I found $20 in the middle of the street once.

It was when I was like 13. It was thrilling. That's very exciting. It was so much money at the time. But you don't see money. If I found $20 right now, I'd be like, fuck yeah. Hell yeah. But you don't, because everything switched to ATM cards and credit cards.

You just don't see it. And paying online, dear. Yeah. And Apple pay. Deer. Man, if you found some Apple pay in the street. No, I'd click on it. I'd double click on that.

Okay, wait. Are you familiar with the... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Enough clown time. Are you familiar with the new Apple headset things? Yeah. I don't really know about this, but I just was... learning about this.

Here's all I know about it. Most people think it's dumb. That's what I'm getting. If they sponsor us, we love them. Of course, if they sponsor, we love them. I actually only, I haven't really heard about this, but I was at the mall yesterday, and I saw the ad where, so it's like a VR headset, although I guess Mike said it's AR or something.

I don't know. Air 15. It's called something else. And it had a cord on the back, like you're plugged in. Yeah, like Avatar. And then you, but you could see your eyes. Yeah. And then so the idea is that you're like with your family, but you're like also like I'm on Zara.com.

Yeah, yeah. It's like it's. What dot com? Zara. What's, oh, close. Yeah. Yeah. It's like the Google Glass.

Google Glass. Google Glass. Google Glass. But you know how you're supposed to have conversations with people and all that while you can still see. But that's like so fucked up. Why is that better? It's not. It will never be popular.

I only ever saw Google Glasses in person one time. Yeah. And it was, I was driving down Beverly Boulevard. and I got in front of a guy who I thought was driving a little too slowly and then of course ended up at a stoplight and I'm the classic guy

like you're in a hurry and got a lot of stomalant but it's like really I just didn't want to be behind that dude anymore and then he pulled up next to me and was like motioning for me to roll down my window what?

And I rolled down my window anyway you had something to say you had to get here in such a hurry and I said are you wearing Google glasses? And then I rolled my window up and the light turned green. That's such a good comeback. Are you wearing Google glasses?

You fucking nerd. Fuck you. Why would you ever say something like that to a person? You to him. It's actually, it's actually a child here. You know what? It could work with like anything, though.

Like if you were just like, are you wearing a turtle neck? And then just drive away and they're like, are you wearing a t-shirt? Oh, thanks for wearing your best t-shirt on your car trip. That's savage. Even I wouldn't do that. All right, we have to take a break. I love finding those pieces that become staples in my closet.

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Seriously, next episode, I know you can wear whatever you want right now, but next episode, put on a tuxedo. Why don't we make the... Let's do a formal episode. Next episode, we're doing a formal episode. We will wear our fancy English... I'm going to wear a gown. Our fancy English breakfast tea.

Evening clothes. We won't wear... It doesn't have to be white tails. A gown. A gown. You'll wear a gown. I'm going to wear gloves. I'm going to wear gloves.

I'm going to wear a hat and a veil. I'm going to wear a big purse. Yeah. And I'm going to put my dog in it. Great. Great. I'm going to wear spats. Nothing else.

Imagine me with a good body. Don't leave the door open. And you? What am I going to wear? I guess I'm going to wear like a sort of tuxedo onesie. You know what I mean? It looks like a t-suito. One of those.

It's kind of a t-shirt that kind of looks like a t-shirt. That kind of looks like a t- It's like kind of funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But this is like a whole thing. Was that the 80s? I remember it as the 80s. Yeah.

The tuxedo t-shirt? Yeah. It might be earlier than that, but I remember it from the 80s. Like late 70s. Yeah. But yeah, yeah. It felt like... The height of humor.

Yeah, felt like Dr. de Meno probably wore one. Without a dute. Ignoring all... Without a dude. Ignoring all like history and like the bad parts of... Consider it done. Life. What's a radio?

all of those. What's like the best, what's the decade with the best vibes? Just like, we're judging it just on vibes? Yeah, it's like, don't think about how there were really bad things happening and like people were treated horribly and, I guess, when did the Civil War happen? 70s? Because you had disco. I feel like 70s. Yeah. I lived through it. I didn't think. Key parties. I just love how it looks. Oh, key parties. I think the 60s because, well, the early 60s probably sucked. Are you including bad, bad things that happened in history?

You're right. I'm sorry. You have to discount those. How about the 1920s? You're fucking getting drunk on bootleg gin. Yeah. Everybody's going to parties? Everybody's having parties all the time.

As long as you're rich. Yeah. But I guess that would be. But we're ignoring, we're ignoring all that things. Yeah. So everybody's rich. Everyone's rich.

Great vibes. Yeah. I guess there's great vibes for everyone who's rich always. How about the colonial era? Did you ever go to like see one of those colonial talent? Like you like one of those. You know what? I didn't and I don't know why

because I feel like growing up in Philly we would have, I mean, we did have a Ben Franklin guy. Yeah. What does that mean? There was a guy who... You know a Ben Franklin guy? Some nut who walked down your street and be like,

I'm Ben Franklin. Wait, so I have told you about this guy. I'm being Franklin. Didn't look like it. He's wearing a dragon some reddy old kite. Yeah, there was a guy. I can't remember if he was sort of officially hired by the

tourism board. Like the same. City. Because I feel like I've been to Philadelphia. There's like those tours that go around to show you all the like historical landmarks where I did see someone who was dressed up. But it could be like, you know, the person playing Superman over at Man's Chinese where it's like they're not actually hired by the city. They're just doing it on their own. I think this guy was. He would walk around a full Ben Franklin regalia. He looked like Ben Franklin. It was good. It was like a good. Yeah. It was not like cheap looking. The bifocals? He had the bifocles, of course. Did they work as bifocles? Or were they fake? Oh, I don't know.

Could he see out of them? I wanted to slap them off his fucking face. But I didn't do that. You're so nice. You're so nice. A lot of people think I'm nice because I won't slap glasses off their fucking faces. Well, I'm trying to think if it was in Philly. Where was I that?

Maybe it's D.C. Do they have stuff like that? I went to like some old, of course. Why did I say that? I went to some like old like house that I can't remember. It was probably like the Bessie Ross House. There was the Bessie Ross House in Philadelphia. Okay.

Okay, but I think it was in D.C. I don't remember. In D.C., of course, there's Monticello. I don't remember which character was. Which character? Historical character. But I walked through an old house. But there wasn't anyone acting like it was that time.

And I think what I'm going to need is someone acting like that. I think I do think it'd be very funny to go on a family trip with my children to a place like that and make them do that shit. Like I think that's really fun. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. We went in London. Jane and I went, and I may have mentioned this in the podcast when it happened. but we were there for the London podcast festival in 2018 maybe.

Before everything went to shit? Just before. Well, things had started. Right. Yeah. And there were bad things. Everything was good. Vives were not good.

Vives were not good. But discounting everything bad happening in the world? Great. Yeah. Yeah, it's true. If you don't think about anything bad happening, everything was good. Yeah. And it was also, you know, one of those things where it was bad, but it was going to get worse.

So it's technically good. Like, honestly, 2020, if you discount all the bad things happening. It was good. It was so good. Yeah. What's the main? I mean, we were in our houses. It was fun.

I want to hear what you were going to say. But I also want to ask this one question. Yeah. When you think of the like first year of the pandemic, what's like the first thing you think of and like it just in your life? Weekly zooms with people. Yeah. I think of roasting random vegetables that I would get in the mail.

What did you say to them? Fucking bitch. They roasted. Did you say roasting random vegetables you get in the mail? Like I was like I'm doing a subscription. shit. It was like a delivery service of like Here's some random vegetables or like some whatever. Like a SSA? Yeah, but it was like those all like ugly randoms vegetables.

Yes, exactly. And I was roasting them constantly. All vegetables are beautiful. I'm forgetting what that company is called now. Me too. Because it was something like that. I think ugly was in the name. I don't know if that's even the one I got. And you know what? I remember being disappointed because we got we got that too. And it was like, these could look weirder honestly. Yeah. Yeah. But I never roasted vegetables before but I got very into that as like my main meal and I thought it was like exciting. Tell us about this London podcast. I got him just drinking a bottle of wine every day.

There you go. Cocktail hour would start it. 2 p.m. Yep. This house was this old. Not a home. It was not a home. Luther Vandross was there and we were going to ask him. Oh, you sang about it? We opened our mouth

to ask and he just shook his head. I was like, okay, message received with her. It was this really old building. It's like a three-story home. And the people that owned it had made each room like a different time period that this house had existed for.

It was like a museum? Yeah. And it was shitty. The same thing is. Yeah. People disco balls. There were like little signs of where. Occasionally it would have like a sound effect or something like,

laser. You just turned someone walking into the other room, and this is the kind of shoes they would wear or whatever. But they had people that were there to sort of Cuban heels. Wedge heel. They had people that were there to direct you to the various rooms and everything, and they were very solemn and serious. But they weren't wearing like period clothing.

Oh, no. Which is like, do that at least. You have to. You have to. And then change it for each room you go into. So they're constantly doing. Well, they had a bunch of different people. One room.

You could all, yes, exactly. Yeah. And then I think, you know, of course, somebody always asked, do the people, do people live here still? And we were, and they said, yes, the people do live here. But they, you know, they make. They come to us at night. It was like they clearly live in some other part of the house that's that we can't see. But the house is not that big.

But then it's like, I don't think everybody lives here. Well, maybe don't say they do. Yeah. Well, you think they were lying. I just didn't see where... Or they lived in the themed rooms. There's no way. There's absolutely no way.

There's probably like a nice suite. What year was this? Oh, a nice, a sweet. Yeah, what year was this, by the way, 2018, you said? 2018, I said. Wait, it was this recent? Yeah. And if you think that's recent, let me throw another year at you.

2019. Whoa, that's even more sooner. It's even more sooner. No, but I was picturing this big of the thing in that. town when you were a kid. Whoa, let's see a board suitor. 2020. Huh?

That was like yesterday. Whoa. We went on, I talked about this vacation on this show, but we went, the first, like, big vacation we went on. The National Ampoon one? National Ampoon one. You went on like a Christmas vacation? Oh, yeah.

European vacation? Or my boss wouldn't give me the bonus I wanted. But I, we went to, we went to back east for the first time, and I went on my first plane, and I saw my favorite year on the plane over there. I've talked about this. And we went to New York first and stayed in the Howard Johnson Hotel and saw... Hojo's. Saw Merlin instead of Cats.

Merlin the musical. Oh, Doug Henning. Doug Henning and Christian Slater. That one had such long-term effects. You know, it was like cats ran for 25, 30, 50 years. This one, also we talk about constantly. Right. But so that was the first three days was New York, right?

And we did a bunch of New York stuff. Was it all like crazy there? because it was like, it wasn't, it's still really gritty. Well, we had talked about this about how like, we had to. Gritty was in this? Gritty, yeah. Yeah. Well, because Times Square was his first thing.

Times Square was super gritty. It was like everything was like britty. We have talked about how my, there was a, there was a section of that we had to go on a subway to get somewhere and my parents were freaked out about it. Oh, sure. Yeah. Absolutely.

But then the other part of the vacation was, it was like we were doing this for 10 days, but I learned this recently was. was that, you know, we were going to be going to Disney World. And at a certain point, my parents were like, look, it takes so long to get to Florida and to get back. And we live next to Disneyland. Can we not do that? And we all agreed. Okay.

I was so bummed. But it's not the same as going to Disney World. But, yeah. But instead... Yep, golf center. My father's... Instead, my father scheduled all these, like, trips to Civil War, like, battlefields. stuff.

That's not going to work for me. And it was days of this. And then this is what I learned is in his he recently passed away. And in the like sort of bio that we went to

the Hershey factory, he cut it even shorter. It was going to be longer, but he cut it shorter because we were complaining so much. You only worked one shift? You guys were so mad about how many chunks he was shoving your mouth. No, but he cut, no, he cut the, the Civil War, like, battlefield stuff shorter. Wow.

Like, he called an audible because we were, and it felt like an eternity of days and days of this. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, so you got to go to Hershey as, like, a treat because you were like, okay, shut the fuck up. We can go here now because you're being so annoying. Yeah. And then you were like, this is fun?

You liked Hershey? I thought it would. I was disappointed that they didn't give you candy. Like they... They don't give you candy? No, they deposit you in the gift shop and then you buy at regular prices candy. That's fucked up. Okay, I don't think that works for me. I think we've talked about it. That's fucked. I do think you should be walking through. And I agree. Well, I'm glad I'm consistent.

I think you should be walking through pocketing chocolates the whole way. Yes. Pop chalk. It should be free. Yes. Everything should be free. Well, you've always said that since the last episode. You should get to get in a vat of chocolate, of milk chocolate. I know. Eat your way out. Yes. Drink. Eat or drink. Eat or drink. Do both. And do this in memory of me. What if you, only ate chocolate and drank chocolate every meal of your life, but you never got fat.

You'd be okay with that? Wait, here's my question. What a good, what if? Did you get tired of it? That story? Yeah, you'd have to get tired of it. So you didn't really hear that story a lot? You just read it?

No, I just always remember that that was part of the trip as we went, and I had thought it had been planned that we were going to the chocolate factory this whole time, and I remember there being way too many. Civil War battlefields, but I never knew that they were cut even short, that we were supposed to be doing them even longer than what we did. Do you feel like your dad, like, complained about that a lot to your mom and, like, that was why that was a story? The fact that it's come up 40 years later in his funeral, then, yes, he never let it go. He must have been so mad. He was so annoying.

But this is also, but you got to understand, too, like, we grew up, we were just common people. I'm sure. You had sharks. You had sharkies instead of jets or whatever. And this was the only vacation that they were ever going to get to take, you know, and the only time he was ever going to get to see any of this stuff. Wow. Should have made it his honeymoon.

Honestly, should have told you all to shut up. I would have. Yeah. I would have said, yes, sir. Yeah, sure. Yeah. But, yeah. That sucks.

It sucks for everyone. To be 13 and having to go see all that stuff. Oh, no, no. I would be the most complaining person on earth. I mean, I definitely complained on trips so much. Like, it sounds so brighty because,

like, we went to Italy when I was in high school. And, like, I remember, like, pouting. Like, who even knows?

But there's, like, a picture of me, my brother sitting on, like, a stoop, and we both look so pissed. To be in Italy.

Like, I don't, I don't know. I think I love the trip, but I was like, I'm sure I was tired and, like, we're walking so much.

I want to eat gummy worms. Yeah. I'm like, who knows? Your brain's not formed. It's so true unless you go to a kid place. It wasn't totally lost. I mean, like I respected it and thought it was cool.

And I look back and I'm grateful for it, but I also at the time definitely complained about things where you're like, you should shut up. Part of the trip is being in Boston. I remember like there's a big walking tour of like going to all the famous, you know, Boston places. And the only thing that was interesting to me was there was like a unicyclist in the town square doing like a big, you know, for money passing the house.

You were his target audience. Yeah. And that was the only interesting part of that day, I remember. And everything else was super boring. I sort of think Boston is where I went to that special house. That makes sense. You're both joking. I'm going to joke.

Welcome players. I'm going to joke. That's a 3-Meam callback. Was it? Yeah. Welcome. Still makes his laugh. After all, you heard it.

All these minutes later, we're still enjoying it. Oh, my God. We didn't take many trips when I was a kid. Yeah. I mean, there were school trips, but there were not a lot of family trips that I can recall. They're expensive, especially with how many. Oh, I fucking, I can't imagine. How many kids?

Kids. What do you call those things? Well, no, in the middle of that, I was trying to remember if we were. all in one hotel room. I think we were. Oh, that's weird. Oh, for sure. We never had our own hotel room. Oh, no. Oh, my brother and I had to share a bed on all these trips went on. Yeah. We'd be like pushing each other. Like, get the fuck away from me. I feel like we would in Europe. Like, we would take my, because my dad valued going on like a big trip like that more than like going to like Portland or something. Like, we never did that. So like we would be like every

few years we'd do like a big trip when I was in high school and stuff. And my brother and I had to share a hotel in this share a bed in this room. It's everywhere. And we're like having pillows and we're like punching you. Well, because I remember this trip. We were in one room and it was the five of us and it was like I think my mom and dad in one bed,

my brother and I in one bed. And then they would get a cot for my young sister. Who was, let's see, when I was 13, who was probably five. And it's just like, is that fun? I don't know. That's literally, I mean, I think that's, but what are you going to do?

You're going to put your kids in another room. I'm sure people do that if you have the money to do that. But like, but I do think about that trip a lot of like, and I saw so much stuff that I'm appreciative for. Yeah. Like battlefields? Oh, God.

No, chocolate. So glad I saw that field. I saw one chocolate. I saw one Hershey's chocolate. It was $1.50. I don't think I stayed in a hotel until I started doing comedy. Really? Yeah.

I don't remember ever being in a hotel as a kid. Yeah. Well, you started comedy young, though, too. Yeah, I was four years old. Yeah. Yeah, but I feel like most of my... It was all about how dirty your underwear was. Yeah, yeah.

How I can't wait to not go to school tomorrow. I think most of my like state sightseeing was like as an adult and like a lot of like on tour I figured a lot of the cities went to it was my first time going to a lot of. I think the first time I went to Australia was with you guys. I think it was my first time too. And my last time? Yeah. I had been there several times before. Oh, bravo, Paul.

Not an easy flight to do several times. It's not. But you know what? I'm glad I did it. Yeah. I always remember on that flight, I was like in the last row and I curled up into a ball and tried to sleep for the entire time. You're able to do that. Yeah, not anymore.

But I was. Yeah. I don't think I could do that now. I did a show there. Was it the Melbourne Festival? I can't remember. I hope so. But I, why?

I just hope it was. Yes. Okay. But I was flying. But they flew me and they flew me in, it was either, I must have been business class. But it was like stretch out completely flat beds, you know. And so I was sitting in the like second and last row or something like that. Right by the potty.

I was sitting next to. Poopie, poopie, poopie butt. Oh, wait, I've told this. I was sitting next to rapper The Game. Wow. Oh, remember him? And then he had a girlfriend or a lady that he was seeing who was also on the flight. and she was sitting up in the front.

Mm. And he asked me to switch places with her so they could sit together. So you got a better seat. And he said, I'll give you my CD. Come on, be a gentleman. Oh, don't do that. The gentleman actually would be you in this situation.

Right. You switch with somebody else. Yeah. Yeah. So I was like, yeah, okay. Yeah, why didn't he ask the person next to her? It actually was worse. The seat was worse.

No. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For a long... It was like the equivalent of a sofa bed with like a bar in it or whatever. It was weirdly uncomfortable. I was like, this guy fucking got me.

He, the game. This is why they call him that. Yeah. He games you. He games me. Man, and now he's not popular. And neither am I. All right, we have to take a break.

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Explore the full defender lineup at Land Rover USA.com. And we're back. And it's time for a three-cher guys. It's three-cher time, everybody. And you know what this is. This is where we play a fun game, like a parlor game, a car game. The three of us play it together. We're friends and we have a good time.

If you would like to send us one of these. We have a great time. You know what, Scott? I don't want to correct you, but we have a great time. And if you would like to send us something that would enable us to have this great time, you know, time. Why don't you write to us at FreedomUSA at gmail.com and let us know what three tree you'd like us to play. That's right. And this one

came from someone a while back that we have not documented who they were, but we've played it before. And whoever there was that sent us, they enjoyed hearing their name the first time we played it and don't need it this second time. No, we take the names off. If we played the game once, we take the name off and now it belongs to everyone. And this is called 135. And we're going to improvise a scene. Scene.

And one of us is allowed to say one word each time. One of us can use three words and one of us can use five words. Which one do you want? I'll use three. I want one. I'll do five. All right. Hi there, guys.

Hi. Well, well, well, look now. Look at what? Huh? Look at what? Look at. you to here. Oh, that's right. Payment.

Oh, um, right now, today? Ideally. Pay for what? Work. Oh, you did work for... You. Me, that's right. I, um...

I don't want to. Hmm? Pay you. that. Can we work something out? Done. Whoa.

Put it down. Point that here. Pay. Okay, be cool. No. Is that even loaded, honey? Condescending. Okay, you showed me. Bullets in there?

Yes. in there. Oof. We can make noises. Okay. Honey. Apology. Oh, are O and K?

No, no, but she interrupted. She interrupted me. Hey, be nice. Okay. Die. Now, I'm not dead. Damn it. That gun shoots water, don't it?

You missed, honey. Quitting. Look, I'll pay you, okay? Good. How much did we say? Million. Pennies or would you say? Penny's.

That's too much. Oh, the O was a freestyle because I just realized what you said. Shut up? That's two words. Would you accept Nichols in? In lieu of pennies, okay? Check. Now you want a check.

ATM card, okay? No. Oh, I can't just tap? No, why not? How? Apple pay? Fun on phone. Sure.

Apple said that about Apple. Apple pay. Fun on phone. Apple, if you're out there, wanting a slogan. Sure. Okay, double click to pay. Put gun down. Don't pee on me and tell me it's raining, Judge Judy.

Okay. There. Got it. Have you received? Received. Glad we could do business. Bye, Judge Judy. Bye.

Wait, your robe. It's caught. Naked. Judge Judy, whoa. Surgery. Judge Judy, you are hot. Wood bang, Judy. Hey, Judge Judy, you up?

Die. Die. Oh, no. Shot at heart. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. I thought one would be easier somehow. It's worse.

Quitting. Quitting. Winning. Remember that? Winning. Hashtag winning. Tiger's blood. Remember that tour he did?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. People were like screaming and enjoying it. Can you imagine? God, damn. It's like Tom Sandeval went on tour with his band after Scandival. At least he had a band. What if he just went on tour going, Scandival? Remember

what he was like hitting the wall with the hammer? And going, Scandival! I don't like this guy. I don't think he's a good guy. What if he did that on tour? He brought out a sledgehammer? I probably would. Like Gallagher? Or Peter Gabriel? Like Gallagher. Can someone take over Gallagher's sledgehammer duties? I thought his brother did that.

I know, but I mean, now that he's gone, couldn't we just do it? Is it in the public domain? Yeah. I think it's up for anybody. If anybody wants to make that their comedy, I think you could do that. You think smashing a watermelon with the big mallet is in the public domain?

I think it's just kind of an homage at this point. You think like the first person who ever picked up a guitar and sang, like they own that? Well, I know a friend. He got his first real six string. He bought it at the five and dime. I know that guy. Yeah.

I've heard of him. This was, I mean, this is, it feels like it was about 54, 55 years ago. Something like that, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's like a big story. I mean, it's a story that's told a lot. Yeah, yeah. And, I mean, he considers it the best days of his life.

Really? Obviously. I mean, honestly, it sounded like he was really free. God damn. I don't think I can look back at the past and say, those are the best years of my life. Maybe when I'm very old, I can do that. But right now, I feel like I'm having a pretty good time.

You could name the halcyon days of your life right now. I like to think I'm in them. I think so, you know. I'm miserable all the time. Yeah, no, I think that. Each era has a positive thing to it. Each era has a positive thing for sure. I was thinking about the decades and like what just...

All of them? Yeah, like 20s, 30s. Like from zero to now. No, I'm just talking about my decades. Oh, sure. You know, and I was trying to go like, oh, what are the best ones? But I think they've all had their own flavor. Yeah.

I mean, like in my 20s, starting out in stand up and, forging relationships that I still have to this day. And it was a lot of fun. We had a lot of fun. 30s moved, you know, it's when I was living here. And working in showbiz for the first time. A lot of fun. A lot of anxiety.

40s. Getting to feel more myself. Having some triumphs. Having some tragedies. 50s remains to be seen. Yeah. How old were you new met, Janie? I would have been in my, it was 2005.

2005 we met. It doesn't help me. Nope. That doesn't narrow it down for me. We met 2003. It doesn't work for me in my math brain. So I would say my good math brain. I would say I was in my mid-too-late 30s.

Wow. Yeah. Because we got married. We dated for five years. and then I was 40 when we got married. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Owen Wilson. Wow. We did the famous. Wow. Wow. We ran through all the famous wows. Yeah. Yeah.

Owen Wilson. Christopher Walken. And then. Whoa. I'm trying to do another one, but that doesn't anyway. How about this one? Wow. The nanny?

Yeah. Did she say wow? No. She probably should have. Guys, let's play one round of. the picnic game. Oh, fuck. Oh, no.

I don't think we do it right. Oh, no. That's okay. We, one person thinks of a criteria, uh, theme or category of things that their guests can bring to the picnic. Oh, different. Okay.

I'm going to do criteria. Yep. This is different. And then we ask if we can bring specific things to the picnic. Oh, that game. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And then, uh, you let us know whether we can come to the picnic or not.

Okay. Lauren, think of the criteria of what we can bring. or category or i've got it oh all right can i bring my lunch pail to the picnic yes can i bring my uh pack of individually sliced american cheese yes can i bring my uh pack of individually sliced american cheese yes can i bring my round spherical ball to the picnic No. Well, how big is it? This big!

What? Yes, you can bring it. Oh. Okay. What are the things so far? Lunch pale and individually sliced cheese and a ball that's this big. Okay. For the listener, it's probably a circumference of...

Baseball. Baseball, yeah. Can I bring a handful of raw almonds? Yes. Can I bring an elephant? No. Can I solve it? Yes.

Is that how this works? Yes. Things you can hold in your hand. Yes. Whoa. I gave it away. You did. You were melding it to me the whole time.

Oh, we got to do some ASMR real quick. Okay. Yeah, this is for the three to MASMR. This is a story that I've told below. PISP, PIS, PIS, P. Piss Pigs. Hello, piss pigs. This is for all cats.

We're outside. Psps, ps, ps, ps, ps. All right, I'll think of a thing. Okay. Okay. I've thought of it. Can I bring a basket of cherries? It depends.

Oh, no. It's a bad start. Can I bring my little red riding hood cloak? No. Mm. Can I bring my purse? Depends. Oh, my God.

Can I bring my depends? No. Come on. Can I bring my black leather jacket? Yes. What did it? Cherry's? Oh, okay.

Right. Right, right, right. Can I bring my elephant? No. Can I bring my... You really want to bring an elephant. I know. It's like so weird.

My depends. Can I bring my water? my plastic water bottle? Depends. These depends are not helping. Depends shouldn't be an available answer.

Can I bring my blue plastic water bottle? No. Okay. Oh, can I bring Oh, oh, oh. Can I guess things that are black? Yes.

Oh, black cherry. You have guessed correctly. Wow. Thank you, master. Are you your turn? Do one. All right. I'll do one.

Your turn. do one. Okay, I got it. Okay. Can I bring my comic book collection? No. Can I bring a watermelon? No. Can I bring a turkey sandwich? No. Can I bring a trench coat? No. Can I bring my elephant? No. That's going to be only elephants. It depends. Can I bring a lunchbox? Yes. Can I bring a picnic blanket? No. Can I bring an umbrella?

Part of it. Can I bring a window? No. Can I bring a car door? Yeah. Can I bring a book? No. Can I bring a picnic basket?

No. Can I bring one chip? Be more specific of what type of chip? Tortilla. No. Can I bring a 1950s robot? Yeah, please. Can I bring a Funyon?

No. I'd like to solve. Okay. Things that are metal. That's right. I would have accepted Iron Maiden album as well. Or like a chip for my computer? Yes.

Wow, that's heavy. When you think about it, it's wild. It's actually really deep how he did that. It's actually super deep. Put your ass to sleep. Did Billy Gristle say that? Zabababababidab di di Biddi Bid Bid Bip. Remember that guy?

Scooby-doo Bid up. Yeah, David Lee Roth. Whatever happened to him. He became a paramedic. And then he stopped being that? Did he really? I don't know. Was he any good?

What if David Lee Roth came to your house and you were having a heart attack? And he was like, scutley doly boop, busty busty bop right before he put it. Clear. I only really know him from Chris Catan's impression of him. I mean, pretty accurate. I think you're good. You've never heard of Van Halen's? I've heard of Van Halen.

I just don't really know. Got it bad. Got it bad. Got it bad. I'm half a teacher. I know that one. Lean down between my legs. Shut the fuck.

Pull the seat back. It's rude. It's a rude song. I know. nasty. It's nasty because I think what he was really doing. What was he? Fishing for change. Kids that listen to this? What was he pretending to do? Pretending? He's just pretending.

What were you saying? The, the, the, he was acting like it was. Yeah. He's talking about cranking his yank. Well, I got that part. I'm saying, what's the? Oh, he's in, he's in a car or whatever. Oh, okay. And he's like pushing, like, you know, releasing the lever to It's pretty Releasing the lever It's pretty spot on Yeah

Not that much No he's filth Layering there He's a filth man He's a filthy guy I'm the filth man I think Van Halen songs And David Lee Ross song

Should be outlawed Wow that's heavy They make you uncomfortable Outlawed Outlawed yeah I feel like they almost are I haven't heard one a long time I was thinking about that

Like certain songs Some people just will never hear them ever again Do you know what song I've heard A lot recently I want to say in the last couple of years is more than I ever expected to ever hear again is the follow-up to Rupert Holmes, the Pena Colada song.

Oh, right. The song, him. Yeah, that's right. What you're going to do about him? It's him or it's me. And then there's a little bridge where it goes, woo-hoo! That's right.

It's a weird, weird song. Well, I was, I heard a song the other day, which was like an answer song to Billy Jean. And it's called... The chat is my son. It's called, who does it? I heard it for the first time. Melbourne Moore, no, no, no, no, no, no.

But it was like someone in the... It was a woman singer in the guise of Billy Jean. Like, my name is Billy Jean. And it was kind of a hit, but it got me on the Wikipedia page of answer songs. Sure. And most of the ones on the Wikipedia page are not true answer songs. They're just kind of, like, related. songs.

Yeah. But I do love a good answer song. They're so fun. Do people do it anymore? Well, in the 2020s, we have Jesse's girl two, Cohiton Cambria's. But Rick Springs. Who? Coheaten Cambria?

I don't know who that is. They're like, emo, but happy. Yeah, but Rick Springfield is on it as well. No, that's not an answer song? Danny I yellow, of course, answer song to Papa Don't Preach. Yes. which was Papa just wants the best for you. Papa just wants to see you through.

Please have an abortion. Oh my God. I thought that Papa didn't want her to have the abortion. Do you and see? Papa don't preach. She was keeping her baby. I'm in trouble deep. Papa don't bring.

I made up my mind and keeping my baby. I always felt like that wasn't truly about I'm going to keep a baby. She was singing like about her baby like her boyfriend. That's what I think the song is done. Are you an idiot? I've always felt like the song was more about like, I'm keep, like, Papa don't preach to me about this guy that you don't like. I'm going to keep my bag. That is a wild interpretation.

It's a literal song. And then they made it literal later to like, never mind. That's a weird theory. Let's look at lyrics. Let's look at lyrics. Okay. P in front of us. Lauren don't peep.

I'm in trouble. Papa, I know you're going to be upset because I was always your little girl, but you should know by now I'm not a baby. Gross. taught me right from wrong. I need your help, Daddy. Please be strong. I may be young at heart, but I know what I'm saying. The one you warned me all about, the one you said I could do without, we're in an awful mess. Uh-oh. Okay, maybe you're right. And I don't mean maybe, please. She doesn't mean maybe. Yeah. I'm going to keep my baby. He says he's going to marry me. We can raise a little family. I still don't think this is a natural baby. But so Danny Ayalo's

song. By the way, they say Miley Cyrus's 2023 song, flowers, paraphrases when I was your man by Bruno Mars. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But is it an answer song? I don't think so. It's supposed to be an answer song to some song. In Bruno Mars song, I think he says, I will buy you flowers. Oh, okay.

So maybe he doesn't. So I've heard that it is an answer song. It's like, I don't need you, Bruno Mars. Now way. So there's a good example of a modern one. Talk to me more prevalent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can hold my own hands.

Superstar, by the way, was. Lydia Murdoch's song, the answer song to Billy Jean by Michael Jackson. Superstar. Superstar. And it has the same kind of like, doon, doon, doon. And it was like, Michael Jackson, stop lying. You know you had sex with that woman. All right, we have to go.

If you want to call us, call hagg claims8.com. That's right. Don't call it. Go to the website. And then our old episodes come out on Tuesdays. That's what we call three visiting all the twos. And our three-meam episodes, those come out every other. week, that's at CBB World and Apple Podcast Premium or something like that.

And you can hear all of our archived episodes and add free episodes over at CBB World. There you go. What more can we say, but goodbye to you. Bye. Have you ever watched someone you love struggle with something really hard and had no idea how to help them? I'm Stephanie Whittleswax, and I certainly have. My show last day started with a question I've been asking myself.

Ever since I lost my brother Harris to a heroin overdose. What Could I Have Done Differently? That's what my new book is all about. It's called Last Day, How to Stop Losing Our Loved Ones to the Opioid Crisis. I'm going to read you a little preview. I hope you enjoy it. We hear about the opioid crisis so often that we've become desensitized to it. It's a headline, a political pawn, a collection of tally marks that stand where our loved ones should be.

Overdose deaths in the United States can be broken into three phases. doctor prescribed oxycontin, starting in the 1990s, heroin taking hold in 2010, and fentanyl, which surfaced in 2013 and spread like wildfire in 2016. The Sacklers, who owned the pharmaceutical company that developed, produced, and aggressively marketed oxycontin may have lit the match, but our broken system allowed it to burn. Since 1999, this preventable tragedy has claimed more than 800,000 lives. My little brother was one of them. Thanks for listening. Get your copy of Last Day at bit.ly slash last day book or wherever books or audio books are sold.