Threedom - Threevisiting: It's MY Birthday Suit!

Episode Date: June 3, 2025

Threevisiting on the Tues: Scott, Paul & Lauren share updates from Weekend Chat and the Date Night DVD Debacle before playing Switch It And Pitch It. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Listen ad-free and unlock bi-weekly THREEMIUMS on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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we're all chasing something. A break, a goal, a vibe. Let's not let bad socks and blisters ruin it. Bombas make socks and now slides and seamless essentials that keep up with whatever your summer looks like, whether you're running a marathon or just a few errands. Now I have a bunch of travel coming up this summer, which is why I am particularly excited about Bombas Compression Chocks. They help make international flights bearable by curbing aches and keeping my legs energized for all the sightseeing I have planned. And you know, I love to go to a big city and walk around.

Plus you can now order Bombas abroad. That's right. Along with the U.S. They now ship internationally to over 200 countries. So if I forget to pack my Bombas, it's no sweat. I can just order them to wherever I'm headed next. Head over to bombas.com slash freedom and use code freedom for 20% off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-A A S dot com slash freedom code freedom and check out bombas.com slash freedom and use code freedom. On August 9th, 2014, a police officer shot and killed Michael Brown in Ferguson,

Missouri, setting off 400 days of uprising. That's what the world saw. What they didn't see was the family, the grief, and the young man behind the headlines. Now his mother, Leslie Mcspadden, tells her story of love, loss, and the fight for justice. I'm still Mike's mom. Once you're a mother, you never forget how to mother. From Lemonada Media and Campaign Zero, Still My Baby is coming out May 27th. Freedom! Oh my God.

Freedom! Oh my God. Freedom! Oh my God. Freedom! Oh my God. Welcome to Freedom! Oh my God, it's Freedom, which is so random.

Random as hell. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my god! Welcome to Freedom. Oh my god, it's Freedom, which is so random.

Random as shit. Freedom is giving me life. Freedom is lit. Are you still alive? Yeah. It's the only thing keeping me alive. OK, so we have to continue doing the show. Or you die?

This is Freedom. I'm Paul. I'm Scott. I'm Lauren. And before the show, before we started recording, Lauren and I gave each other a foot high five. And boy was it wild. Scott went absolutely crazy with his stuff. I said that's not a high five.

He went apeshit. Because it's shin level, but then I realized it's high for a foot. High for a foot, but then you pointed out. It was high for a foot. Except for Michael Flatley, the Lord of the Dance. That's right. It's low for his feet. Yeah, he'd be like, what are they doing all the way down there?

Here we are recreating our pre-show banter. Because it was so good! We knew you could play it on mic! It was so good! All right, well that's our episode and goodbye. It was so good! Guys, Wordle today, this is a couple of weeks ago for the listeners.

So no spoilers. So no spoilers for you, but Wordle today, this is a couple of weeks ago for the listeners. So no spoilers. So no spoilers for you, but wordle today, somehow I spoiled it for Paul because Lauren and I both did it and the word happened to be a freedom word. Yes. By the word of. A word closely associated with the Freedom Podcast.

A word even more closely associated with the Freedom Podcast phone number. And that closely associated with the Freedom Podcast phone number. And that's right, the word today was input. Ha ha la. And I, Invisible Ink texted, and everyone knows these are spoilers, so if you haven't played your wordle yet, not to click on it.

Your binging wordle, you started from the beginning two days ago? I hate you if you are. I have to confess, you know, because I know what your start word is. And I thought, I saw, oh, well then those two letters are in the word. And I- Yeah, I know.

Oh, you used the same start word. I used the same start word. So now I, now I want to be last all the time. And the first shall be last. What's your start word again? Go fuck yourself. Too many letters. But in kind terms, it's adieu.

Adieu. Adieu. Adieu. Adieu. But yeah, anyway, so I should be last now kind terms. It's a do a do a do a do a do a do. But yeah, anyway, so I should be last now because I'm giving you a hint or I'll do invisible link. But here's the thing, because we will do invisible link on the thread because then it doesn't spoil it for people who haven't played yet. But I, you know, you get the notifications and see, I don't have those turned on.

I have them turned on. Pop up on a text at the top. I haven't I don't have those turned on. My notifications don't pop up on a text at the top. I have them turned on because they turn me on. Whoa, you get turned on by getting text messages? I get riled. Massive boner? From notifications. Scott.

It's small. You're right. I'm sorry. Yes, it's teeny. I get a teeny boner. Oh, god. You have a huge flaccid penis. When I get a rile.

Exactly. And then when I get around, it's Weeeeww, beer! But it's so rock hard. It compresses. That is really cool. You could cut glass with it. Oh God.

Anyway, it shouldn't do it, it did. And have, will have had done. You often cut glass with your small boner? What kind of glass are you trying to cut? Stained for the church. Come on, Lauren. You know I'm very devout. Yeah, that's cool.

Please don't tell them I cut the glass with my penis. They won't mind. But you didn't want to buy one of those tools, right? They will mind. They charge you an arm and a leg for those things. Did I have a rock heart? Tiny erection. What the fuck? But anyway, so the notification came in without the Inviso ink. Did I have a rock hard, tiny erection? What the fuck?

But anyway, so the notification came in without the Inviso ink. Which I think is fucked up. It is. I feel like Inviso ink. There is an agreement with iPhone that if you send something with Invisi- A gentleman's agreement.

Yeah, sure. But it's in the terms of service that if you send something with Invisi- Ye shall receive it with Invisi- But you know, it's tough because typically invisible ink, I feel, is only used for bits and games. You know, people aren't typically putting like, top secret info in the invisible ink.

You don't think that the CIA is using invisible ink when they send text? If they're not, they're stupid. They might be. But my point is, you know, they wouldn't put fireworks at the top of your screen if a firework text came in. So I guess it makes sense that they're not going to put the what it might even have said.

When do a firework text come? Oh, I see. Like I was like, oh, I guess we were saying you want to lose her. Who's texting? No, I'm I'm saying who's texting about fire about fireworks. You know how when you say happy birthday to someone fireworks, confetti or balloons, confetti and balloons and all that. I thought you meant when someone's like texting, hey, look at the fireworks and fireworks automatically come up. So, okay, happy birthday gets balloons.

Congratulations gets confetti. Are there other ones that are triggered automatically by phrases? They probably have them as like secret Easter eggs. Like the in and out menu. Like happy Easter with eggs showing. Oh my God, we gotta start saying everything to everyone. I wonder if you say happy 4th of July, if fireworks go.

Let's try. Okay. All right, I'm gonna text both of you. I can't wait for this text to come through. Happy 4th of July. Oh, you know what? I'm gonna leave my lock screen on to see if it just says like happy 4th of July

and then sent with fireworks or some shit. Okay, here we go, ready? Yeah, I'm ready. I've sent it, let me know when it gets there. I got it, and it just says, happy July 4. It's unkind if I wanna put it in my calendar. Okay, I'm gonna say happy Independence Day. Yes, welcome to Earth.

I'm gonna try spelling out happy 4th of July. Okay, I've sent it. Happy 4th of July, nothing came on happy 4th of July. No. Man, what are you doing, iPhone? I'm gonna try another one, let's see if this works. I'm gonna try happy Easter. Man, what are you doing, iPhone? I'm gonna try another one. Let's see if this works.

I'm gonna try Happy Easter. Okay, give me a Happy Easter. Nothing. Nothing. Okay, I feel like, okay, this will probably work. Okay, this is gonna work. Gump. You sent it with fireworks. The fireworks went off.

You sent it with fireworks. Gump. It's Gump. He's Gump. Merry Christmas, nothing. Nothing, what the hell? Maybe it has to be on the actual day. What about I'm sorry? Confetti. Nope.

God. I guess we'll stop texting each other. This should be, yeah. We've done all we can do. Ha ha la infu. Anyway, yeah, so you saw the answer on your fourth guess. So it's, in a way, I helped you out. No, that's what I'm saying is that you- Oh, you you saw the answer on your fourth guess so it's in a way I helped you out No, you that's what I'm saying is that you did I?

Inadvertently got a hint that I did not yeah like have ever seen with the answers But you still want to try to like play yeah, like I'm like I've done that a couple times where I knew what the word was Gonna be but I don't want to just put it in and get what on the first time I'm like well. I want to have my score be realistic. What would I have probably put? Where would I have gone from there? How would I have gotten to it? No, that sounds like a waste of time to be honest. But now Janie- I think the whole thing's a waste of time to be on.

Yeah. Janie Tompkins? Janie had a Tompkins? Yes. Janie had a Tompkins. Janie had a Tompkins. So she, even though she hadn't played yet, she wanted to cheat.

So she, in un-Invisible, inked it. And then this is how I find out She does not listen to the show. She says what does this mean? Allah you didn't find out by guessing And she said she replied that she's a fan of freedom in real life. Yeah Now does Mike does Mike listen to freedom? He listens if I play it to edit it back You know what I mean? Yeah, if I play it back to it back. You know what I mean? Yeah. If I play it back to edit it.

Because you're editing every episode. He listens so tightly. I will say I haven't done it for the last few and probably should have, but. Just so you know, these episodes typically run about two hours, 30 minutes, and Lauren trims them down. I shave it down and I always make sure that all the callbacks make sense.

You shave it down and then you work on the episode. Yeah. And you leave in some stuff that's not funny just to make it, keep it real. Well, yeah, it's like, we're not constantly funny. But you've cut out super funny stuff. Well, because it didn't make sense. Or it was too personal.

It was so hilarious, but way too personal. We were talking about death and loved ones. It was so funny, but it was so personal. Weird stuff my dad did, that I found out about. But it was hilarious. It was hilarious. Good stuff. Paul, did you have a nice weekend?

We already talked about it. Lauren and I talked off mic about our weekends, our respective weekends. You didn't wait for me for weekend chat? No, but we can do it now loosely. Hold on loosely. Hold on loosely. Hang on loosely. Hold on loosely. Hold on loosely. Hang on loosely.

Hold on loosely. Hang on Sloopy. Hang on loosely. Now hold on loosely. Hold on loosely. Loosely hold on. Hang on Sloopy. Sloopy, come home.

So hold on loosely. Is it hold on? I'm now, I don't know. I think it might be hold on. Cause I'm sure I have both of these. Hold on loosely. Dup-a-dup-a-dup-a-dup. Hold on loosely.

Dup-a-dup-a-dup-a-dup. Loosely, loosely, have you heard. All right, here we're gonna play Hold On Loosely by 38 Special. All we needed was the answer to that question, but I guess we're gonna listen to the song. Here we go. Hold On Loosely.

Yes. we're gonna listen to the song. Here we go. Hold on loosely. Yes. And this is one of our favorite jams coming at you to get the summer kicked off right. Let's do this. Hope you haven't celebrated summer before now. Everyone has summer and this time is no different. It's Fourth of July. We'll set it with fireworks.

We didn't listen to see where the words are. It is Hold On Lucy. What does that even mean? To you. Well, Hold On, but not too tightly. Oh, I see. Oh, okay. It's a play on Hold On tight.

Yes, which ever, it's a play on that. Yes, they're having fun with language. Yes. The English language. I think it's fun. That is a lot of fun. Do you think in other languages they have fun? I doubt it. I think they fun. That is a lot of fun. Do you think in other languages they have fun? I doubt it.

I think they might. I don't know. Do you think there are Italian puns? Impossible. Why would they ever do wood play? Why would they? Their languages are better. Let's face it.

English is a mess. It is. It's kind of, I mean, they don't call English a romance language. First of all, I don't think they could ever. Yeah, but I mean, it's like there's bias in calling, you know, Italian and Spanish romance languages, don't you think? Well, no.

What do you think that term means? Bias? No. Or romance language. Call? It's what I would say if I was on Wheel of Fortune. Bias. Oh my god.

You can only buy vows, sir. I have to go home. Oh no. Further proof of my point. They should do opposite Wheel of Fortune. Opposite Wheel of Fortune. Where you have to buy consonants. Why does Wheel of Fortune come up on every episode? You sell them consonants.

You sell them vowels. I'd like to sell a vowel, please. What did you do this weekend? What did you do this weekend? What the fuck, man? I want to know because I want to know. You didn't do shit. We have talked about Wheel of Fortune four times,

and maybe this will give us some new information. We talked about Wheel of Fortune four times. Play Wheel of My Weekend. We recently talked about it at length. Why? Because we talked about how there should be a new version called Hangman, and we also talked about how we've all spun the wheel, or now you two have.

That was Price is Right, dear. But then that got us into the Wheel of Fortune conversation, dipshits. Why don't we play Wheel of My Weekend, and you guess what I did. Okay, I'm gonna guess you watched the Squirrel Cam. It is strange. No, I didn't. I have to recharge the camera.

Oh, you gotta get on that. Who knows what they're up to. You're robbing me blind. So what did you do? I would say you watched. I can't imagine you doing anything. Sopranos. No, so specific.

I know, I'm trying. What if I got it right? That would be amazing. You're being so cagey about it. You made pretzels from scratch. Yes. Scotty about it. You made pretzels from scratch. Yes. Scott? And then you unmade pretzels from scratch.

Correct. Because matter can neither be created nor destroyed. So I had to prove that wrong. That was your experiment? Yeah. I was like, I made them and I unmade them. Balls in your court. And on the seventh day you rested.

Oh, I'm so tired. What did I do? I'm gonna say. I know I saw you post a picture with some people. Oh, you saw some people. I did post a picture with some people. Yeah. I posted a picture with some people.

Yeah, you went to a restaurant or something. Let's see, are we beginning the weekend on Friday? Friday. Yeah, I'll say 5pm. I don't think I can remember Friday. Let me see. Yeah, what did I do? Lord and I did not cover Friday at all.

Yeah, yeah. We didn't even bother. Yeah, we were like, forget it. and I did not cover Friday at all. Yeah, yeah. We didn't even bother. Yeah, we were like, forget it. You guys don't consider Friday part of the weekend. Interesting. Oh, I know what I did. I know what I did last summer. I still know what I did last summer.

Me too. I'll always know. I saw that was the third one today. Oh, you know what? I'll always know what you did last summer. Once you know, you can't unknow. I love that. I'm proud, proud.

I ain't forgetting. Unless you forgot that someone murdered people. I'm proud to say that on Friday afternoon, we recorded the episode one of the new season of The Neighborhood Listen. It's back. So we've started doing that again. Very glad about that.

Saturday, dinner with friends. Wow. Dinner with friends at a friend's home. Saturday, dinner with friends. Wow. Dinner with friends at a friend's home. At a friend's home. And what was this group? This group was an eclectic mix of people. Yeah. Some people from Los Angeles, California,

living here full-time. Yeah. Some people merely visiting from Minneapolis, Minnesota. Wow. This sounds incredible. It was incredible. And a very sweet dog named Gordy. Did your friend cook or did you get food to order?

We ordered Thai food from a place. And let me tell you, every single thing was delicious. That's great. Shout them out if you want to. I wish I knew the name. I know you don't know. I don't even bother memorizing the name because it was in a different neighborhood

and I knew they wouldn't deliver to us. And I was like, forget it. Yeah. Okay. I'm always, I love the order in dinner with friends, but I'm always very impressed by people who cook for friends. I am too, but I feel like I, because I'm not a cook

and Janie is, I feel. Janie is a cook. I feel, I feel bad if like I initiate a plan, like, hey, let's have those people over. And then it's Jamie's responsibility. Yeah. And then I'm always suggesting we can just order food. Yeah. We've started Cool Up and I want to start a steakhouse in our house. What does that mean?

You'd have like a room that's just like a Ruth's Chris. Yeah, basically for like, I'm so sorry for like eight people. I pictured you guys sitting in cars, but you said steak house. Yes. And then I said in our house. Yes. I thought we were sitting in cars in our house. I thought you said you wanted us to do the stake out. Oh, and I thought, well, whatever they want to do with me. Yes. Richard Dreyfus, Rosie O'Donnell, Emilio Estevez.

Estevez. Si. No, but we started making steaks occasionally if people come over. And so the steaks are good. And then we also have sides that Cool Up makes. I make the steak, she makes the sides. That's great.

And- You don't sound like cops to me. This sounds like a stake out. Yeah, come on over. I make the steak, she makes the sides. Yeah, uh. You don't sound like cops to me. This sounds like a stakeout. Yeah, come on over. We'll, uh. I make a steak, she makes a side. Yeah, come on over.

Do whatever you normally do. You're gonna observe me? Same there with binoculars. Yes, I am. One inch away. What if you guys sat in your car in the driveway and watched your guests in the backyard? But you'd go to that, right?

Instead of a fancy restaurant, you'd go to that, right? Instead of a fancy restaurant, you'd go over to someone's house. Oh, absolutely. I, I, you know, I would like to get good at cooking. I'm kind of sick of saying, I don't know how to do this because when I use a recipe, I can make something. So I'm like, just look up a recipe. And I've gone through phases where I like, Oh, now I make this one thing from this book that I, you know, it's cooking.

What I don't like is when a recipe uses a word that they go like, everyone knows what this is thing from this book that I, you know, it's cooking. What I don't like is when a recipe uses a word that they go like, everyone knows what this is. If you cook a lot, you know. I like it to be really explained. And I just got these books by this cook book chef. I guess she's a chef and she made cookbooks. She's not cookbook author, but I guess she is as well. Would you call her that?

This is driving me crazy. And just continue. Her Instagram is called that? This is driving me crazy. I just continue. Her Instagram is called what's gobbikookin' and it's, her name is Gobby. I thought it was Gabby, but it's Gobby. This is not Dobby from the Harry Potter. And she never cooked, did she? She makes really fun things on it.

We got a couple cookbooks and we made margarita, cucumber margaritas from the cookbook and it was really fun. Oh, you cooked those? That's a cookbook? Well, it has party ideas. It has some drinks as well. So it's like, here's what's due for like a whole night.

You make this, this, this, and this. And we just started. And you just started with drinks. We started with margaritas. You're like, let's make that. And we had a lot of fun. We never make anything like that. I'm saying I don't cook anything.

I don't make anything from scratch. It was a delight. Except that baby. Well, yeah. You made that from scratch. It was a delight. Except that baby. Well, yeah. You made that from scratch. Yeah, scratch. Yeah. What if she, what if her recipe was roast Dabhi?

Would you eat it? If I explained it very clearly. And if I knew how to get the Dabhi, because I think the hardest thing- You just lure them with socks, right? Yeah, I think that is what I do. But I- They love socks.

The hardest thing for me about cooking, and I love it if, you know, you guys have is what I do. But I- They love socks. The hardest thing for me about cooking, and I love it if you guys have any suggestions on this, I'm talking more to you two than for the listener. Because you can't hear them. I can't hear what they're gonna say. That makes sense. And you won't read their messages to you. When I look at a recipe,

the thing that overwhelms me is the idea that if I'm gonna do this a lot, I gotta get all this shit every fucking time. Well, you gotta stock your kitchen with stuff. Sure, like the herbs and whatnot, yeah, you kind of have those for all, but I'm saying- The herbs, the spices, they have at least seven of them. The herbs.

But like, if it's like- Yeah, flour, sugar, yeah. Well, I have all that stuff, but I'm saying for a- What are you talking about? Like, if it's like a thing that has like 15 things that go in it and you're like, oh my God, I gotta go to the store, I gotta find all these little things.

Deadly nightshade. Well, this is why, this is why if you were- The deadly nightshade. What my mother would do- The personips. Of it all. My mother would shop once a week and plan out the meals for all seven days and the lunch is all that has to have.

I gotta be like that. I gotta be like that. Be like Scott's mom. And then you consolidate- Make a Darth Vader cake. You also do leftovers for some of it. Make a Darth Vader cake. Out of a bell, yeah.

But you know, like you just kind of plan out the week of like, oh, okay, these are the things I'm gonna make. I would have to write it down. Uh-oh. I'm out. Well, because I lose, I forget my plans over and over again. Like I feel like I have to have the same idea five times if I don't write it down.

Yeah. That's what Malcolm Gladwell said, that a genius has the same idea five times. Unless they write it down. No, that's the secret to success. Have the same idea five times. But then write it down. Never write it down.

Never write it down, but have it five times. Keep having it. One time, two times, three times, four times, five times. You've done it. Yeah. Well, because I feel like what happens to me is I'm like, I'd love to cook, and then it's five o'clock and I'm starving and I'm just like,

I'll just make whatever the fuck I have. Yeah, yeah. Hey man, back to the weekend. Yeah. Yeah. Last night, early evening. What happened? A friend's birthday drinks. Yeah.

Whoa, you did a second thing? Yeah. Whoa. Yeah. Uh-huh. I had this burger that was so fucking good. Where was it? This place called Verdugo. Oh yeah. I don't think I've been there.

A sandwich from the Hamburg region? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, an imported sandwich. Wow. From Germany. It was delicious? It was messy sloppy burger, but so, so good.

Yeah. So, so good. So, so good. I had In-N-Out yesterday. I had mouth watering thinking about it. Oh wow. I have to good. I had In-N-Out yesterday. I had mouth-watering thinking about it. Oh, wow. I have to confess. I had In-N-Out on Thursday.

Yeah, I had a three by three protein style. Wow. Hey, let me tell you about Friday, what we did. What the fuck is three by three? That's three patties, three cheese. Ooh. It's a stack? It's a double-double, yeah.

Three? And there's a four by four as well. That's a lot. Four is too much. What? I'm not mad that you ate it, but I'm saying, it seems like your mouth there's a four by four as well. That's a lot. Four is too- What? I'm not mad that you ate it, but I'm saying, it seems like your mouth can't open that wide. Try me.

You know he can unhinge his jaw. Go, like, he eats piglets. Does he, is it like a really thick thing? I mean- Or no, it's not. Is it a thick thing? It's for if you don't want- Cause their patties aren't that huge, aren't that thick.

It's like if you don't wanna do two double doubles and have all that bread. I see. And then if you do a protein salad anyway. I love that song. Two double doubles and all that bread. So Friday, reality recap, yeah. Friday, Friday, got a reality recap on Friday, yeah.

So our friend Sang, who's a chef. So the chef also sings? I know that, I did have to follow your sentence. Yeah, I did. My friend's name is Sang. Thank you. And he is a chef. Thank you.

And he appeared on- He's the magician too? Yes, and then he apparated. No, he was on a television show hosted by Natasha Leggero called Rat in the Kitchen. And he was on an episode earlier in the season where he, and it's spoilers for the show if you're catching up to it, but the show is basically, there are six, I believe, chefs all trying to create a bunch of dishes. And one is a rat trying to spoil all the dishes.

What do they go around and put something in the meal? They can do it however they want to do it. Like rat dropping to it, I assume. It's a rat. As long as it's rat dropping based. That walks around. A Terminator come to? Yeah.

That's so sick. No, but- So they put something in, and then you're like, yuck, this tastes bad now? Yes, so basically, basically there's $50,000. There's $50,000 and then the Chef Ludo is judging it. And is it a new six every episode?

New six every episode. And then Chef Ludo tastes it and it- I'm laughing thinking about somebody saying that every single time. This tastes like shit. This tastes bad now. Oh. It's not even planned. It's just when everybody ends their stag now. Oh, y shit. It tastes bad now. Oh. It's not even planned.

It's just what everybody ends up saying now. Oh yeah, this tastes bad now. Yeah, this tastes bad now. So they assign an amount of money to each dish, like $5,000. And then. Or $2. And then he tastes it.

It can take all day. He gives it a pass or he gives it a thumbs down. And if it gets a thumbs down. Classic pass thumbs down system. The rat has, the rat gets that money, right? And it's a real rat? It's an actual rat, yeah. It's Ratatouille.

Oh, okay. So, Pat Nozwalt is voicing a real rat. Yeah. But anyway, so he was on the show earlier in the season and he was the rat and he won. Oh. And he won, like, I think it was $25,000. Like, he got half of the money

and then no one guessed it was him. So, these are professional sheaves. No, like he got half of the money and then no one guessed it was him. So these are professional chefs. No, I mean, some of them are professional. Some of them are amateurs, you can tell. So anyway, he won earlier in the season. And so then this was the season finale and they had a bunch of the rats back and made one of them the rat.

The rat pack? It was the rat pack back. And so he came over and he made rats. So here he is. Not a rat. No, he made us all rats. What? He turned you into one. He turned us all into rats. He was a magician. Yes. You gotta pay attention all the way through. The witches. And now I am a rat as you see. Look at me guys. You haven't looked at me this episode. Oh my god. You are a rat. Yes. This is like when your Metallica shirt changed fonts. Fonts, it was what it said.

Words. Words, fonts. These words, these words. You get it. Anyway, so he made some of his Lao food. He specializes in Lao food. Yummy. For us all with a bunch of friends

and we watched his episode. Oh, how fun. And convinced he was gonna be the rat again. And I won't spoil. And he wouldn't say a word. He would not, he signed an NDA and would not tell us anything. And did he put gross stuff in all the food

you were gonna eat so that he'd be like, and see? See how I do it? That would have been amazing. No, it is interesting what they would do. Like his thing was he would just like casually go by everyone's ovens and turn it up as high as they would go as he was like passing by and what it would like blaze up and it would just blaze up and overcook everything and then some fun that's a fun show some of the rats

would just like walk by with seasoning in their hands and just like like to drop it over salt everything. A crop dusted. Yeah, crop dusted. But you can't do it to everybody, right? Because then obviously if you're the only one who has a good dish, and it's like, I think he's the rat. Well, weirdly enough, Sang. Or she.

Sang. Wow, you're so progressive. Didn't do it to his own dish, did it to everyone else's dish. Sorry, or they. Okay, here we go. That threw everyone off his scent because they were like, oh, he's doing good,

so he's not the rat. He's like, he's making good dishes. I don't see how that makes any sense at all. Yeah, because the rat, if they're working on their own dishes and spoiling it, that's what everyone was thinking of like, oh, the rat sabotaged their own dish, but- And nobody else's.

Yeah. But it's like- It doesn't make any sense to me. No, no, it doesn't make any sense to me either. I just feel like you'd have to leave one person- You guys have tiny brains. Well, yeah. How dare you?

You have to let one other person's meal be fine. You're a dick. Thank you. Or just do a little salt in one of them. It doesn't really change it. Well, they do, actually they do rotate on most of the dishes where like everyone gets a chance at working on each dish. So-

Oh, so it could be many people because yes, exactly. So I did. I have not had enough sleep to grasp how this show works. You don't need to go back to bed. Lauren and I will do this. Just watch it. I know that you want just watch all of it today. Watch all of it.

The entire season. Let us know if you get it now. You know, it's back is an old fave of ours. Borgen, the Danish TV series. I thought you were saying ours as well. And I was like, I don't know. I don't know what this Borgen is. What is it? My lovely wife.

Oh, you have a favorite together? Yeah. It's a Danish TV show about the Danish government. It's a drama and it's very good. I'm like bored again. There you go. If I were to watch it. Scott. What, Paul? I can't believe you're sabotaging my enjoyment of this show. I'm bored again. There you go. If I were to watch it. Found it.

Scott. What Paul? I can't believe you're sabotaging my enjoyment of this show. I'm the rat. Now I don't like it anymore. Rat in the freedom. Yeah, I've been sabotaging this whole show

ever since the beginning. And a go-get. Rat in the freedom. How's Brushy doing? I think great. Oh good. I hope he's thriving. I hope so.

All I know is that he made his, you know, money on the GoFundMe Kickstarter. Yes, for his new album. He's just killing it. GoFundMe is a tough name because it's like, it starts with GoFuh. GoFund yourself. Yeah, you know?

GoFuckMe. Like it could be anything. Yeah. And then suddenly it's like, It could be anything. It means me? Yeah. Well, what are the other things it could be?

Go far, there. For go far. Go further. Go further than you've ever gone before. Go finally. Go fun. Go.

Go fun. Time. Go. Go fun time. For go for go for on the love boat. Go for on the love boat. Go over on the love boat. Go fun time. For go for, go for on the love boat. Go for on the love boat. Go for on the love boat. Deed deed.

And Scott, about your weekend, you went to see Weird Al perform. I saw the weirdest person named Al that I know. Yeah. Perform. So weird it's part of his name. Yeah. He's not a regular Al. No, no, no, no, no, no.

No. Where was the show? This is at the Wiltern, which is a- Beautiful theater. A beautiful theater, art deco theater, and performed there once with the Mr. Show thing. That's right. Did you do that as well? The Mr. Show kids in the hall crossover thing?

Yeah, yeah. I sang a song or something at the end of the show. Clash of the Titans, I believe. Yes, Clash of the Titans. Yes, Laughter Cures Cancer was the name of the song. And it did. And it did. Thank God, just in time.

You're welcome. But yeah, so went with Andy Daly and his daughter, Anne Coolop. Oh, Coolop was there. Yes, Coolop and I. And it was a great show. This was his show where he's doing all like deep cuts, no parodies, pretty much. Ah!

No parodies? Wait, wait, wait, I don't know about this. Yeah, so he- He does a lot of his own- It's his own originals. Orig? Yeah, seated, everyone's sitting down and he's doing his own originals.

He's not doing costumes. I love a seated concert. Love a seated concert. Meaning the performer's on stage as well. Oh, the audience can sit? Oh, don't love that. The audience sits as well. The audience stands. Love a seated concert. Love a seated concert. I'm meeting the performers on stage as well. Oh, the audience can sit? Oh, don't love that. The audience sits as well. The audience stands.

The audience also stands. No, they take turns. Anytime Al would stand, we would sit and vice versa. That's fun. You know what, my favorite concert is a crisscross applesauce where everyone is sitting on the ground. Yeah.

Wow. Wow. Hey, what was the game, and did you play this? Yeah. Where one person- Hats up seven up. Yes, thank you. Was that really what you did you play this? Yeah. Where one person- Is that seven up? Yes, thank you. Was that really what you were about to say?

No. Where one person had to hide and then if you found that person- Sardines. Sardines. Oh, I don't know this. If you found the person what? It's hide and seek.

You hide with them. Oh, and then everyone just joins and oh yeah. It's basically reverse hide and seek because if one person hides, everyone else sees. It's hide and hide. And then you hide. Hide and hide and hide and hide and hide. It's hide, hide. And then you hide. Hide and hide and hide and hide. Yeah, it's a very cute and cozy game.

It is cute. I mean, everyone's just in the shower, you know, at the end. Yeah, everyone picks the shower. We played outside. We played outside. Nude sardines. Everyone gets a shower. I was trying to see this one.

Oh my God, one time. Nude co-ed sardines. Dude, this was insane. One time in fifth grade, I was with two friends and this one was a new girl who'd moved to town and we were in her yard. You're bullying her. No, we were in her yard and we were playing

Blind Man's Bluff or something. But I don't even know if that's like. What was Blind Man's Bluff again? But I don't even know if we were playing it right now. Blind Man's Bluff is where somebody has to close their eyes and then you. Is it like Marco Polo? Make more hands? Yeah, exactly. Yes, exactly. That is if we were playing it right or. Byman's buff is where somebody has to close their eyes. Is it like Marco Polo? It's like, yeah, exactly.

Yes, exactly. That is what we were playing. And she, we were playing that, and then she ran head first into a big tree. Oh! And her nose was. Broken? Bloody crazy insane.

And then we went home. Didn't tell anyone? No, I mean like her family was like, we have to take care of this, bye, you know. Bye, and then you never found out what happened after that? Well, I did, I mean, we saw her at school. Okay, it wasn't like that's the last you saw of her. No, but I mean, it was so, I was horrified.

I remember it very clearly. If you were like, and then we never saw her again. It was interesting. It was just so fast. She just never came back to school. I wonder whatever happened to her. Isn't that awful? Somebody told me a story.

You had a girlfriend. She had a boyfriend. Somebody told me. Last February. Who's telling me? She said that they, oh God, who was it? Somebody that I know, oh I think it's my friend Julie,

that they threw up in school and then moved after that. Oh, and then everyone assumed it was because they think everyone assumed it was because they were embarrassed. I do know my friend told me that when he was in high school. Now this is rock solid. You know what your friend told you. I know he told me this. That there was a, there was a girl who was wearing an all white outfit.

Oh yeah. And she was like the popular girl in school and she was wearing all white and then she was making out with a guy in a pickup truck and they were drunk and then she started getting sick and she leaned out the door and puked and as she puked, she diarrhea'd all over the with the white outfit and then she had to move away. Yeah, absolutely.

Literally. I think you would have to move away. I hope she changed her identity. Did they have her? And it was Lauren Lapkus. Hey, oh God. Hey, oh God. Hey, oh God.

Old identity, Tiffany Brown. Hey, oh God. Hey, oh God. Tiffany Brown. Hence the name change. I am wondering if you were ever pantsed in school, because we had a big pantsing problem in middle school. They didn't invent that. They hadn't invented that yet. Okay, gym class, pantsing, everyone's in the elastic shorts, Kevin's nodding,

really horrific stuff. Because Kevin, you pants people. Does it hurt a woman to pants a woman? Does it hurt a woman to pants a woman? Pretty embarrassing. Why can't a woman be pantsed? Yeah, one time this girl was pantsed and her- Labia fell off?

Fell off. Pad, pad. Oh no. Oh no, this is why you don't do it to ladies. This is for the kids, this is for the kids. Don't pants a woman. Don't pants the kids. This is for the kids. Don't pants a woman. Don't pants a man.

There could be a pad up there. Don't pull anyone's pants down. It's not yours to do. I thought pantsing was pulling them up. Oh, you're pulling them up. It would be like you'd be playing basketball in the gym and someone just run up and like pull your socks down. That's actually like sexual assault.

Yeah, it's not good. It's fucked up. Yeah. And you're saying it was happening so much, it was like an epidemic. It was, and I remember just like, you have to like hold onto your pants the whole time. Oh my God!

It does, Julian as an adult though, it would make me laugh. It's funny to imagine a bunch of people running around a basketball court, like gripping their own pants. Unable to like pass the ball. They're like knocking it with their chest when it comes to that. We should do that to each other.

No, we shouldn't. Leave everyone's pants alone. Leave Brittany alone too. Leave Brittany alone! And then they eventually did. Yeah, it's working out great. I think so. Squeaky Wheel gets the grease. I'm glad she's doing better. I am too.

Is she? Well, she got married and she got to have a special day. Sure. Free Britney day. Yeah. I mean, what do you know? What do you know? What do you know that we don't?

Someone sent me something with invisible ink. I look forward to reading the memoir she's working on. Okay. Yeah. Great. Do you think it will cover when she was skinny as a needle? Why are we talking about this again? Now it's the third time and now I I've retained it. It's all good. That's why we're doing this, Scott. Think of it five times and then you'll get it. It's as skinny as a needle. Have I given the reality recap recommendation of Love on the Spectrum?

Is that part of it? Love on the Spectrum US, they had an Australia season, was fantastic, the US version also fantastic. Really good show. People love it. On Netflix. People love it. Yes, I love it.

I've yet to watch it. It's really great. Just this really sweet show and the parents are really supportive and wonderful people. That's what I understand is that it's actually very, it's very sweet to watch. There is nothing exploitative.

There's nothing exploitative, yeah. No. But I guess I just don't care. That's fine. You don't even like dating shows to begin with. Other people. I know. If they made a reality show about yourself,

would you watch it? Oh my God, every episode, are you kidding me? There I am again. What am I doing this time? Lunch. You know, we watch, Janie and I famously watch one reality show. The Bible.

It's Southern Charm. It's called Church on Sunday. Southern Charm. It's Southern Charm, which is an absolutely terrible show. It's boring as shit. See, that's the thing. It's like you have, you've just signed up for the wrong one. You don't care. But here's the thing. It's like you have, you've just signed up for the wrong one. You don't care.

But here's the thing. You're like Swedish dumb shit. You're like Swedish dumb shit. I like Swedish chef. You like the Swedish chef. That's fine, you can do whatever you want. Swedish dumb shit. Now that's a reality show.

I like the guy though, who is only into the Swedish chef. He's like, look. Look, I have my thing, I'm fine. I don't need anything else. I watch the Swedish chef. Even a person who like has- I wish he would do don't need anything else. I watch the Swedish chef. Even a person who like has-

I wish he would do more. Swedish chef memorabilia up in their house. Yeah. It makes me laugh. Wait, what is the show that you like? He's my guy. Borgen. Borgen.

And what's it about? It's about the Danish government. It's a drama set in the backdrop of the Danish government. I was wondering if it's, like what would you compare it to? Like, is it like Broadchurch or is it like West Wing? Broadchurch or Marrowchurch? It's like West Wing, but it's like, what would you compare it to? Like, is it like Broadchurch or is it like West Wing? Broadchurch or narrow church? It's like West Wing, but it's not Ernest.

You know what I mean? It's like- It's more actual drama. It's like Ernest goes to West Wing. Exactly. They say, hey, Vern, a lot. He'd go crazy in there. He would be, why, did he ever do Ernest as the president?

No, that was a really missed opportunity. That's a missed opportunity. Yeah. Who knows what he would have done if he hadn't passed away? I know. He would have turned all the water in the soda fountains to what? Oh my God. Turned all the water in the soda fountains to drinking. Turned all the water in the soda fountains to drinking.

OK, look, we have to take a break. When we come back, I have an update on something. I may have talked about. We'll have had a cat scan. I may have talked about on this show or a different show. We'll be right back. What a tease. I'm not big on trends, but I am big on clothes that feel good and last.

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You told me about the Walrus in Me Man. You said that you're as close as can be, man. Right. Uh huh. I caught you up on that. Yeah. Did you have another clue for us all? No, mainly I was just talking about the date night DVD.

Was I talking about this? It must have been another show. Anyway, I'm going to update you on it. Sure, recycle this story. Okay, so recycle it. I've never told it before because it happened last night. You said it happened on another show. Well, the first part.

Okay. So the first part, the first part is that- The rest of your life leading up to that moment? Then you've already talked about it on here. The first part is that when I would go visit my parents at their previous house, they had all these cabinets in the kitchen and a lot of- That's like everybody's house.

This guy. And a lot of them were open and used to display things. Okay, so- Like they had no doors. Yes, they had no doors, just like the haunted mansion. They were shelves. Uh-huh. Yes.

Okay, so. And- Are you an alien that has replaced our friend Scott? What do you mean? They were cabinets that were open to display things. That's shelves. No, these are cabinets. But were they actually cabinets when they took the doors off?

Yes. Is that what happened? Yes. That's not, are they aliens? What happened next? Well, for years, I would go visit them. And there would be. very nice of you a DVD of the movie Date Night starring Tina Fey and Steve Carell, unopened, wrapped on a stand.

Uh huh. Like they're like, this is a really important film that we will not watch. Or like, this one's going up, we're going to watch this one tonight. And they never do. Oh, I see you're admiring our copy of Date Night. Yeah. that we will not watch. Or like, this one's going up, we're gonna watch this one tonight, and they never do. And occasionally- Oh, I see you're admiring our copy of Date Night. Yeah. Or it's just a beautiful portrait of their friends,

Tina Fey and Steve Carell. And once or twice, I believe- We'll leave her a picture of them, this is all we could find. Once or twice, I think I said, have you seen this movie? And they're like, yeah, we saw it in the theaters. And that's as far as I would go. Okay, so they just like it.

That's as far as you would go? Cause I'd be asking a lot more questions. Yeah, well, I didn't want to intrude. Sure. Well, so, and I believe I talked about this probably on another show, Scott hasn't seen where we took, date night may have come up. And I was like, I have no idea why they used to,

but, and, and it's doesn't seem to be an important movie to them. The weirdest thing about this story is that date night would have come up in conversation. Yeah. Like anything goes on that show. Steve Karell talked about that since. I think you would surprise them if you showed them the DVD. Am I in that?

So for for the past 10 years, I don't know when date night came out, but I've wondered about this, right? So last night, I think sleep. Yeah. I just like cool. It's four a.m. cool up, looks over, you're awake. Are you thinking about data again? Yeah. It's just so funny how, it's four a.m., cool up, looks over, you're awake. Are you thinking about day and night again? Yeah. It's just so funny how people approach

their parents differently, because I would just be like, why are you displaying this? This is so weird. I may have said that in there, and they'd go, I don't know. But, so last night I see them. Fair enough.

They might have said that. Last night I see them, Okay. And they have a, and my mom has a box for me, and she goes, do you want a bottle of wine? And- Does she say it like that? Yeah.

Why? Cause anytime you see her, she's getting rid of her things and being like, do you want this? Do you want this? And I say no to half of it. But she's so beleaguered about it. Yes, yes. Well, life is, is, is beleaguering.

Uh-huh. Man, that's true. So, so she's like, do you want a bottle of wine? And I say, yeah, sure, why? And she says, I don't know. My sister and her husband gave us this because they said, have you seen the movie Date Night? And we said, yeah, in the theaters.

And they said, well, we got you this wine based on the movie Date Night. What? And we've never understood it. And then I realized that this box of the bottle of wine was next to the DVD of Date Night. So they gave them the gift with the DVD. Maybe with the DVD or my parents bought the DVD

to be like nice to them of like, look, we displayed your bottle next to the DVD of date night. And like old person thing. Yeah. And they've never understood what this bottle of wine has to do with date night. I've never seen date night. So I don't know what wine has to do with date night.

Wait, are you gonna see it? Now I feel like I have to see date night to understand. I've seen it. My parents, my aunt. I don't remember what happened. Yes, I don't know, but they don't even remember. No, you have to see it now because I need to know. I need to know now.

And I don't want anyone to send me messages of, oh, it refers to a whatever in date night. If you do send them in Invisible Ink. Here's what you need to do. You need to have a date night with Kulov where you drink that wine and watch date night. And you finally figure out what the fuck is going on. Yeah, so I don't know, but it.

I'm going to say you can't open the wine until you figure out what it has to do with date night. Fine, that's the celebration. And then we celebrate, we pop it once we figure it out. I'm wondering when the wine was given, because the movie's pretty old, and they have a DVD. And it might be really valuable wine. You should probably sell it.

It could be worth a lot from the movie. What if you tried to sell it like date night wine? This has to do with the movie Date Night. Yeah, I really don't. There's one other clue. There's one other clue. There's one other clue. She mentioned the word genealogy, which I don't know what it is. And she didn't even know. She's like, it has something to do with genealogy or something. I don't know. What? I bet you the writers of Date Night are listening to this going, what? We did

what? Who cares? But yeah, see, this is, you never know when you create something like date night, you never know who it's gonna touch and the tendrils that are going to, you know. And that's so beautiful. If you create a movie, old people might get weird around it. So be careful. So the date night mystery continues but is close to being solved.

At least now I know, or I have an idea of why they were displaying date night, because I think they wanted to be kind. That still doesn't do it for me. Kind to her sister if her sister ever visited. Did she ever? Doubtful. Does she live in another state or something?

Well, they did at the time. I could really see Mike's mom doing something like that to be nice to the person. Like it's like out and then they come, or she puts it out when they're gonna come over or something. That is a lot of what my mom had. Wait, so they get the wine and they're like, ah, we should probably display this

and to really like make it nice. It's a really nice gift. We get a DVD and put that on a stand. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I actually feel like I really get this. I know it makes sense. Knowing my mom.

Yeah. This makes total sense. How do I put this? It's like a sort of, it's very thoughtful gesture. It's very, like maybe too thoughtful. When someone gives you something, she feels, or when someone gives her something, she feels a responsibility to enjoy it

to the extent that she- Making a little shrine. Making shrines, but also she has kept stuff for now, 50, 60 years that she is now offloading to me of like, Oh, you're, you're great. Grandmother gave me this when I was just got married when I was 18 and I've never used it. Do you want it?

And I think you just have to say yes to everything and then just donate. Nowadays I say, I absolutely do. And then I throw it away the minute I get. What if you just in the kitchen trash, you're like, yeah, absolutely. And you just immediately put it back. See how he's- Well, one thing I did-

I'm gonna keep this here. One thing I did throw in the trash last night, funny you should say that, is we all played a game and it was, I forget what it was called, but it was where you ask a question and everyone writes down their answers and it's how you get to know each other.

Oh yeah. Anyway, so we all play it and it's fun or whatever. And then, and by the way, she's had me get it from the closet where it's underneath. And she's like, last time I tried to get something from the closet, everything fell on my head. So will you get it? And I'm like, okay.

So it's underneath a ton of stuff, right? And so we play the game. We have fun. And I go, that's a fun game. Did you just get it? She's like, no. Her family friends got it for her like 25 years ago. And that's the last time they played it or something.

She's like, it was so fun. And I always wanted to play it again. It was so fun. And by the way. We didn't want to burn it out. So we waited for 25 years. By the way, there are score pads. She has done what she does with all games.

She doesn't want to run out of the score pads. So she has Xeroxed off all of the score pads and made extra ones for her. Oh my God. And they're all just sitting there new in this game. That never occurred to me to do. No. Yeah.

Wow. So I'm like, oh. Supposed to never use them up. It's like, how often are you gonna play this game? Well, this is my thing. I don't think this is a recurring game that we're gonna play ever again. We have our games as a family that we play a lot

and I didn't think this was gonna be one of them So I'm like, okay. Well, I'll put it back So I you know do the whole you know taking every all the games out everything down putting some of this stuff on your head No, nothing fell on my head, but and I put it back underneath the thing Could you tell that that some stuff fell in? All right Did you feel you had to put it back where it was? Yes, okay Because I knew it wasn't gonna be in the current rotation and I didn't want it to be sitting up and it's like a fucking Jenga in was. Yes. Okay. Because I knew it wasn't going to be in the current rotation and I didn't want it to be sitting up there.

And it's like a fucking Jenga in there. Yes, it is. You have to slide it back in. So I put it exactly where it was and it was a big ordeal, but I finally got it done. And then I go back to where everyone played and there is one card from the game. Fuck.

Like an essential, not a paper. It's like- Just one of the cards with questions on it. And by the way, there are- 5, game. Fuck. They're like an essential, not a paper. It's like just one of the cards with questions on it. And by the way, there are 5,000, 300 cards in this thing. And we used, so not 5,000. We used 30. I mean, that was a crazy guess.

5,000. Yeah, you're right. But there say there are 300 cards. Yeah. We use 30 of them and they have four questions and we only use one question per thing. You could throw it out. Well, this is what I did.

Ostensibly. I see this and I go, oh, and then my mom goes, oh no, you gotta put it back in the thing. I go, mom, I'm just gonna throw it away. Realizing no one in this family is ever gonna play this game again. Right. Yeah.

And so- If this is the timeline they're on, this is the last time they're gonna go. So I go, I'm just gonna throw it away. And she's like, no, okay. And then one of the questions when we were playing the game was written poorly that no one understood it. And I said, oh, it's that question anyway.

It doesn't matter. Lie. Yeah, but to make her feel better. I find out later she has dug through the trash to get the card out and was going to put it back herself, but then it had a lot of like food on it. And so she ended up throwing it away and feeling okay about it.

Oh my God. Jessica had food on it. Yes. Well, there you go. You just gotta put food on more stuff and then she can get rid of it. That is heavy. That's heavy, man.

I mean, I love the task of getting rid of stuff. I feel like she needs someone, she needs like an organizer to go over there and be like, let's win these games down to the six you love. Like the celebrity organizers? Yeah, or just put things on hangers? That has already happened. No, no, no.

I'm talking somebody who's going to dig through the touches. I've served that purpose myself when we moved her back into California. So she's in process of doing that and feels better about it. There are all these things that, like old records that we had when I was a kid that she hadn't, she'd carried around from house to house and hadn't listened to. And I was like, mom, I'm just gonna throw these away. And she's like, but I loved them when you were kids. And I go, so did I, but you haven't even looked at them.

Well, you're talking about this. It's like nursery rhyme shit. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, yeah. That's tough because I feel like like I feel very nostalgic for things and I like to keep a lot of stuff. I keep like every mostly my stuff is more like sentimental. That is sent to yes, but I'll keep like cards and not but I've started to be better about

that. But I have a lot of them from when I was growing up and I have like all the letters, my friends and I ever wrote to each other and like all stuff like that. Yeah. And then I have all my now I have all the best of, my friends and I ever wrote to each other and like all stuff like that. And then I have all my, now I have all the best of my toys, which I might've mentioned that I like sent them all back from my mom's house. It was a huge undertaking. It's a lot.

It was a lot of stuff and I was like, she has saved it for so long. It's all stuff that I love and it's all in great condition. And I'm excited to like, you know, have it for my family, but it's interesting, because it's also that thing of like, well, will Holly wanna play with this old thing, or will she be more excited about it?

But we'll see. But I mean, it's a lot. I mean, with the records, I could imagine myself taking those, but I also am like, would I ever play that? I could imagine myself taking those and looking, glancing at them every once in a while, but I'll tell you, once I said,

we're just gonna donate these, and then they went away, neither of us have thought about them until I am talking about them right now. You know what I mean? And it was like such a weight off of everyone's. Yeah. I love to donate something that's just been a weight. Yeah.

And you're like, get this out of here now. I'm at a crossroads right now because I'm always trying crossroads right now because I'm trying to, I'm always trying to get rid of stuff. And I have a bunch of baseball caps that I dug out of the closet because they're just taking up so much space. And I'm like, all of, I like all of these.

Right. Even though I haven't worn some of them in a while. Yeah, but I think that's okay. It's really hard, but it's just, it's just taking up space. And it's like, but then you have to go, why don't you stack them on top of each other? This month I'm wearing monkeys will steal them. Scott, you gotta go this month. I'm wearing every single one of these. Grow up. I'm sorry. You gotta put them all on rotation. Yeah. Well, right. Here's what's happening right now is since it's baseball season.

Yeah, I have my I have many Phillies caps. So I wear those daily. Daily. Then, yeah, yeah, around the house and shit. Sure. Outside of the house. If I have to go out there, yes. Sure. Yeah. But I keep them in. I keep them all in the house. I don't know if you understand what I'm saying. They they're inside your house unless you go outside.

Yes. If they go outside, it's because I'm wearing one. Yeah. You're not, you're not, let me start to be getting, you're not putting them outside and then forcing them to be outside. I don't have house hats outside and hats inside. Right. Is that what you thought? Well, sometimes if you're wearing, if you're wearing a house, if you're wearing a house, a you're wearing a house, a house. Okay, well, that's it. Yes.

Let's start over. Yeah. So I have my house hats. Sure. But then when the Phillies should they by some weird chance get knocked out of the running for the postseason, right? Then I switch over to my Dodger hat. Right.

But what are these that you're talking about that you are fond of? Are they other teams or just Phillies or Dodgers? They're not sports related. Oh, I see. Some of them are souvenir things. Some of them are just cool things I've picked up along the way.

And how do you store them? Well, okay. So there's two closets. Yeah. One can only tell the truth. One is a little shallow closet where we keep like our raincoats should we ever need them.

In the shallow, low, low, low. Yeah, in the shallow, low, low closet. And then there's a shelf overhead where I keep the baseball caps, right? Yeah. Right. But now it's too many baseball caps. Yeah. And so I put all the, the Phillies ones up there.

Then I got all these other ones just like in the closet on top of the shoe rack and stuff like that. That's tough. It's sloppy and messy and it makes me feel bad. What have you, I don't know if this is a thing but I imagine it is like a sort of over the door inside the closet, there'd be an over the door hanging thing that's like two basically ribbons.

It's almost like shoes. And then you have like the hats hanging off of little pegs. I have seen things like that. There are mirrors inside the closet door, which makes it a little bit difficult because it's like, do you wanna cover up a mirror? A mirror with hats. Yeah, and frankly, I don't.

Yeah, I don't think you do. I'm not that kind of guy. The other option is you get like a sort of teddy bear and put it in a chair and then stack all the hats on top of it. Yeah, and it reaches the ceiling. This I like, yeah. I like this.

And it's almost, it's as high as a stripper pole. Okay, I know how high that is. The ceiling. It's as high as a stripper pole. High as a stripper pole. High as a thing that goes all the way up to the ceiling. That guy has a stripper pole. Yeah. All right, we have to take the ceiling. That guy is drivable. Yeah.

All right, we have to take a break. We'll be right back. This is an ad by BetterHelp. Men today face immense pressure to perform, to provide, and keep it all together. So it's no wonder that 6 million men in the US suffer from depression every year, and it's often undiagnosed.

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I consider myself a pretty successful adult woman. So why is it that in midlife, as I'm about to turn 50, I feel so stuck? Join me as I try to find the answer on my so-called midlife from Lemonada Media. I talk to experts and extraordinary guests about divorce, exercise, menopause, sex, drugs, and more to understand what we're going through and how to make the most of it. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. And we're back.

And it's time for one threedom. No, three-chur. It's time for one threedom. Go to OneThreedomPlaza. That's where you'll find the Threeature Museum. By the way, we haven't talked about this. This is early morning freedom for all of us. This is the earliest we've ever recorded, right?

Yeah. And so that's why we're all, our synapses are not firing correctly. I mean, I've been up for five hours. Me too. Yeah, 530 AM. We all have. I woke up at five for no reason. This is insane.

I woke up two hours before my alarm. And yet that doesn't help because you just feel tired. But it's like one o'clock, it's like, I just want to go, yeah. Do you know this thing? I get very tired when we record later. I'd say, I just get tired, okay? Ooh, do you know this thing where you wake up earlier

than you intended to wake up, you're lying there in bed, try to go back to sleep, you don't go back to sleep and you think, oh, well I'm awake, I'm gonna start my day. Yeah. Then about a half hour into that, you're like, oh no. Mistake. I've had a cup of coffee and now everything is ruined.

That's where I am right now, baby. Oh, that sucks. It sucks. Well, in any case, we're gonna do a three-chir, and this is an old favorite, this is Switch It and Pitch It. Switch it and pitch it, switch it and pitch it, switch it and pitch it now. Dating back to our earliest episodes.

Oh my God. Wow, those were the early days. Oh God, everything was so different. Old Faithful, I call this one. Now this is where, I believe it's one person pitches to two people, yeah. And the one person who's pitching, we give that person the title

of an existing television show or movie. Yes. And they have to switch every letter into the opposite letter. No, this is not correct. Not letter, a word. Every word into the opposite word. Every letter.

Every letter. The opposite letter. The directly opposite, 13 away. On a sliding scale. Ah ha ha. Ha ha ha. Yeah. Every word is the like an opposite word and then they have to pitch that show

and then at the end of it, they have to sing the theme song to that show. Yes, that's correct. As well. Yes, and that's a great. So. And that's a great thing. Paul, do you want to be the first person to pitch?

Sure. Okay. I'm going to look up classic TV shows and find a good one. Great. And I have found nothing yet. Okay. True blood. True blood. Okay. Okay. True blood. True blood. Okay. Okay. So anyway, yeah, I know. And that's why it's

not going to work out. I look, I'm telling you, I need this to work out. It's not going to. So you have to sell it now. Okay. Where am I supposed to sell this? I don't know. Figure it out. Should I not have come in? Oh, I'm sorry. No, you shouldn't have. Who let you in? Well, you did. You said, you shouldn't have. Who let you in? Well, you did. You said come on in. You guys start having this argument. All right. Yes, Sprouse. Not today. You don't have to let the guests know that things aren't great. We were having a little bit of a fight. I'm selling something. Well, yeah, you better be. You're selling something to Sprouse here? No, to anyone else. We need the bought something from Sprouse. We need the money back.

Oh, I see. Are you guys together? No. No, no, no, no. We're just, we were two people who met when I bought something of hers. And then I hired him to work at this company. Yeah. Okay.

And then I rose above her and now I'm president of the company. Right, okay. And then I rose above him and I'm the actual CEO. Wow. But then I rose above that and I'm the actual CEO. Wow, but then I rose above that Buying I became the head of another company and I bought out this company I was even crazier then I rose above that bought both companies and then I made it to nobody can buy anything Yeah, it was in all the contracts and you guys still personally hear pitches. Yeah

We like to control, you know want we wanna hear what's going on. It's fun. We wanna make sure we get the true. Control is fun. Yeah, exactly. You guys are cool. We're really hands-on. Yeah.

Speaking of hands-on, I wanna put my hands on you. You don't. And we only hear one pitch a year. Yeah. Oh, this is an honor, I had no idea. Oh, wait a minute, no, the last pitch we heard was 364 days ago. Okay, so sometimes it's two.

Yeah. Okay. So, this one was supposed to be tomorrow. Do you want to come back tomorrow? Would you prefer that? Yes. Okay, I'll see you tomorrow. Okay. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do So I know they told me to come back the next day. What? Anyway, I, I sold it. I finally sold it.

God. Now how much money did you get? I got $3. Are you fucking kidding me? And it was a $3 bill as well. And it was counterfeit. I can't. Oh, here he's back. Oh, he's back. Hi, Dylan. Hi, Sprouse. Hi. Hi. It's me. Tomato. Can we hear your pitch, please? Yes. I am excited about this project. I'm realizing that the last pitch we heard was at 9.30 AM. Say no more.

And it is 9.28. I'm gonna go to the Starbucks and then turn right back around. It's only two minutes though. I know, I know, the Starbucks in the building. Oh, okay, with the one in the corner? Yeah, the Starbucks in the building. Oh okay. The one with the one in the corner? Yeah the one in the spotlight. Okay we're so rich we bought a Starbucks and have it in the corner of our office. Well you don't have to tell me. Yeah exactly. No I'm telling him. I know. Yeah I'm not hearing anything. So anything I tell him you're gonna say you don't have to tell me? Yes. All right. Hey you know that Starbucks? Because two minutes have elapsed and a back. Hey Guys, I'm I didn't get anything. Oh, I didn't bring any money with me. Oh Cuz I figured I would get it at the end of this pitch. Oh

So you're putting yourself into the position where you have to sell this pitch Oh, yeah, because I've emptied my bank account. I just threw the money away You're like a Jim Carrey who writing yourself a check for a million dollars. Yeah, that my ass can't cash. Yes. But maybe you can. Okay. My ass can cash things.

Oh great. Is it a TV show? It is a TV show. Uh huh. Now, we all know the world of the supernatural. We all know this. Yeah, absolutely. Okay.

And we all know the world of Frankenstein. Yes. The doctor. Earth in both cases. Yes, this takes place on Earth. Great, love it. I'm ready to buy. Don't jump to anything yet.

Hold on, don't jump to anything. I'm tired of doing non-Earth shows. I want to do something set on Earth. I know, we've done so many shows on Mars. I think you guys are going to be thrilled to have your first show set on Earth. Okay. Frankenstein, the ancient monster.

He's ancient? Well, he's not from around here. 1800s? Pretty old. Yeah, but it's not like prehistoric. That's why you didn't say prehistoric. No, that's why I didn't say prehistoric. Thank you, Sprouse.

Look, am I on Tomato's side here or what? Sprouse? You're about to buy the show. Don't disagree with me in front of the talent. If you buy the show, we're gonna be working a lot with tomato. I'll come back tomorrow. No!

Yeah, I think you should. Okay. Okay. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah! Oh, meant to wake up later. Hey, it's my birthday and you're gonna leave again and do this pitch? I'm sorry. You're supposed to do it two days ago.

I gotta get away from you. Hey! Sprouse and I decided to come to you! What? We are at your house and meeting your wife! What? Oh my god. Hey, pretty sexy wife over here.

Oh, thanks. Sprouse, I think you're gonna like her. She sounds a lot like you. Really? Yeah. Oh my god, yeah, our voices are identical. But it's okay when people sound the same. No, it's why would it not be okay?

Oh my, you sleep in the nude. Yeah, I do. In the buff. Mm-hmm. That's a bit rude. In my birthday suit. It's actually my birthday suit. Why is it rude?

Today's my birthday. Yeah. I sleep in her birthday suit. I don't know what it is. Oh, happy birthday. I mean, I don't know. To yourself? No, I'm saying to her.

We actually brought her a cake. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were spread out. Take your sunglasses off. We brought her a cake. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were Sprouse. Take your sunglasses off. We brought her a cake. You just sound so similar. Give her the cake. OK, here you go. We brought this cake for you, Sprouse.

Oh, it's made of vegan leather. For his wife. What's his wife's name? Krause. Wait, whose birthday is it? Krause's. It's Krause? Yeah, Lindsey Krause.

That's my wife. Oh, Lindsey Krause? Yeah. From House of Games? You don't call her Lindsey? No, I call her Krause. Because I was a big fan of the TV show Benson. Tell me about David Mamet.

What was it like being married to him? What I like is, he officiated our wedding, and he made us put pauses in certain places. We had to do them exactly the way we wanted them. Love and respect that. So are you ready to pitch? Yes, I am. I was I woke up ready. Yeah, I woke up like this.

Ready to pitch. You definitely did. So you remember how I was talking about Frankenstein. Cook glass. I don't know if it's good, but it would. I have some glass right here. Let me rub it up against your boner.

I guess the answer is no. Well, anyway, see how Frankenstein isn't a real guy. You need to shower. Cause what I saw on that glass. Krause, will you please stop embarrassing me in front of these people? Should we play the reverse hide and seek game? I'm sorry, it's my birthday. Yeah, let's play sardines.

Let's play sardines. You first, go in the shower. When we find you, you pitch the show. Okay. Oh, thank God, we tricked him into taking a shower. He smells so bad. He's not turning it on. Well, he's just rubbing soap all over himself. At least if I don't want to shower, there'll be a dead giveaway.

They'll know exactly where I am. I'll go find him, and I'll suggest we turn it on. Okay, all right. Gotcha, I'll get in here with you. Hey we turn it on. Okay. All right. Gotcha. I'll get in here with you. Hey Here I am. Oh Lindsay We're just doing a pitch Sardines pitch. Hey, just tell us the name of the show and we can get out of your hair.

No, I need to tell... just the name? Please, just tell us the name. No. Why? Please, I beg you. I've been practicing this pitch for days now. You know what, the name comes at the end? Yes.

Okay, fine, just tell us. Tell us, tell us. Frankenstein's not real, right? He's made up of a bunch of corpses and shit, so he's not a real guy. Oh, right. And so, his mouth gets really dry.

Okay. And he goes on a hunt. Oh, my God, my mouth is watering hearing this. The whole world over, in search of an artificial spit. And this show is called False Saliva. False Saliva. The whole show is about Frankenstein

trying to find artificial spit. I think we should buy this. And he helps people. You actually almost sold it. I don't know why you're adding more. Because you're gonna give me extra money for this. Oh, extra money, okay. Yeah, we might tip you.

Incredible Hulk or Littlest Hobo style, he helps people out in the towns that he goes to as he's searching for this spit. Wow, here's $3. Here's five. Thank you. See Krause, I told you. This is an authentic $3 bill.

You made $8 today? Yeah. Oh, great. I barely even got out of bed. Yeah, it's still not good. This is an authentic three dollar bill. You made eight dollars today? Yeah. Oh great. I barely even got out of bed. Yeah, it's still not good. I haven't even showered yet, I already made eight dollars. All right, you know, we wanna buy it, but it's dependent on one thing.

The theme song. Oh boy. Yeah. There we go. Are you ready? Yeah, ready. Because I composed it? Yep.

And I can sing it as well. Oh, okay, this is a treat. When you gotta spit and you got to do it now, you need false saliva. How you gonna chew gum and you spit it out? You need false saliva. False, false, false, false, false, false saliva. Wow. I don't know that we can afford the song rights. No. Yeah. Oh, I'm so sorry. we can afford. The song writes, no.

Yeah. Oh, I'm so sorry. Now that you've heard it, you have to pay for it. Oh, shit. Them's the, you didn't read the quilted? How much is that? The needle point sign? Oh, how much?

How much is that? Ooh, I'm afraid that's gonna set you back the cost of the show. So you're looking at $8 more. I'm out of $3 bills. I just got five. So I only have eights. Oh, I have a five though. You have eight. Yeah. Oh, just give him an eight then. All right. A pleasure doing business with you. Goodbye forever. Goodbye

forever. Oh, you guys are still here. Yeah. We got this weird house. Yeah. How do you get out of here? There's no windows and no doors. Yeah, that's how we like it. Okay. It's not how we like it, it's how he likes it. And my birthday is done, but I guess I still am here. And I have something I want to say. Krause, what is it?

What do you want to say? I want a divorce. Krause, why, why? Krause. Because you said you hate me and you can't wait to get away from me. Oh shit, that's right. You have to say something to me five times

before it really sinks in. I want a divorce. I want a divorce. I want a divorce. I want a divorce. I want a divorce. And technically it should have sunk in sooner because I'd already said it once.

Krause, I spent 24 hours here and I'm in love with you. Okay, this is perfect because this means that I have a good way out of this situation. Let me be your exit hatch. Okay, cool. Sprouse, are you still able to bear children? Let me yank your pants down. Ah!

A pad! Okay, good. Okay, cause I want a lot of children. I'm gonna call everyone here into the police station now. I'm Sprouse and I'm going to have everyone here arrested. Oh, you're just jealous. Disgusting. Yeah, I'm jealous, yeah.

You're jealous because we're no longer together and Krause and I love each other. We've never been together and you can have Krause. I don't care what the fuck. And she's got the bloodiest vagina you've ever seen. Oh my God. Jesus, Krause. Krause is gassed.

And that's how you play. And that's how you play Switch It. That is how you play. Guys. It's in the directions. So if you play it, do exactly what we did just now. Exactly. And that's how you play it.

And that's how you do it. Hey, guess what? We're at FreedomUSA on Twitter and Instagram. FreedomUSA at gmail.com. If you'd like to send us a threacher or some music you've composed or some shit. What the fuck you want to do? Making a theme.

We're making a theme. A theme? If you have any themes for us. We have so many departments now, and they need jingles. Yeah, so make us some theme songs. Make us some themes. And of course, our phone number,

ha ha la impu. Ha ha la impu. And if you wanna hear the the archives and ad free episodes, go to Stitcher Premium or cbbworld.com. We love you. Bye. Yes. Bye.

Yes. Bye. Hi, I'm Megan and I've got a new podcast I think you're going to love. It's called Confessions of a Female Founder, a show where I chat with female entrepreneurs and friends about the sleepless nights, the lessons learned, and the laser focus that got them to where they are today. And through it all, I'm building a business of my own and getting all sorts of practical

advice along the way that I'm so excited to share with you. Confessions of a Female Founder is out now. Hear new episodes each week ad-free on Amazon Music. You can also ask Alexa, Alexa, play Confessions of a Female Founder with Megan on Amazon Music. And she will.