Threedom - Threevisiting: Julie Bowfinger

Episode Date: July 16, 2024

Threevisiting on the Tues: Scott, Paul & Lauren discuss left handed products, sneaking snacks into movies and opossums before playing Celebrity Couples Therapy. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail]. Leave us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.com. Listen ad-free and unlock bi-weekly THREEMIUMS on cbbworld.com Grab some new Threedom merch at www.kinshipgoods.com/cbbwSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey everyone, Freedom is sponsored by BetterHelp. These days with social media, it can be so easy to constantly be comparing yourself to others. That's where therapy comes in. We love therapy on this show. It can be that perfect extra reminder to stay centered. Stop comparing and start focusing with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.comreedom today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash threedom. Hey everybody. That includes me. And me. Thanks for listening to this week's episode.

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by clicking on our podcast logo and Apple podcast app and then clicking the subscribe button. Who's this guy? I don't know, but I like him. Sir, sir, could you please? I think he's a little crab. Hey, Paul. Sorry about that. Who was that guy?

Someone took your place for a minute. Yeah. That little crab. And we liked him better. Why do the crabs was that? Someone took your place for a minute. Yeah that little crab and we liked him better. Why did that crab do that? Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom!

Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Um, um try to steal my fingerprint! Freedom! Ain't nobody try to break up my stride! Break up my stride? Break up my stride!

I think it's stride? I don't think so. I think you're wrong. Stride! I hate to mansplain Matthew Wilder to you. What is it? Break my stride, right? motherfucker That's what I said. He said Motherfucker what's got saying styed stop stop saying sky?

Did I say Scott no I said who knows stop it Let me ask you this first of all I'm Paul F Tompkins. Do you think that the name Scott counts as a name or is it more of a noise? Ugh. It's a noise and I am Scott Aukerman. It's a noise. I'm Lauren Lapkus. Scott hates his name. He always wanted to change it to Dick Butkiss.

Dick, but, kiss. The two things you want to kiss, dicks and butts. What if he was Kiss Dick Butt? Kiss Dick Butt. Dick's butt. Butt Kiss Dick. The two things you want to kiss dicks and butts what if he was kiss dick butt kiss dick butt butt kiss dick first coffee But first my morning kiss dick Kiss diss butt hey, how about I wanted to ask you about this yeah, we were all right-handed is that correct I wanted to ask you about this. Yeah.

We're all right-handed, is that correct? Yeah. You betcha. And we all had a weird thing where we held our pen like left-handers. Yeah. Left-handed coffee mugs. Now this is a bug.

Yeah. What's a left-handed coffee mug? I know in private I've talked about this forever. Hold it in your left hand, or what? Cause you can't see the fun? Cause you can't see the fun! It makes me laugh because to me It's like you want to be showing the other people

S- Scott? You are on notice! You sounded just like him Well we're both from the same place That's true And you're both Otterberry Docs HELL So, um, I feel like I

I don't need to stare at the design on the mug. I don't need to see that. I want other people to see it. Look at my cool mug. Of course. But it's like at the end of the day, your left hander's got to get over some of this shit, you know? Although I always think about the left handed store on the Simpsons.

Okay. I don't always think about it. I mean, I think about it all the time. That's a weird thing. I'm always think about it. I mean, I think about it. It's a weird thing. I'm always thinking about it. I was scared. I want to marry. I have a problem. Marry a building.

Get it out of my head. I think like being left handed. Can they train you to be right handed? They try, right? They try to like they often try. Yeah. Yeah. You know, why do they try? Isn't that annoying? They try, right? They try to like... They often try, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you know, why do they try? Isn't that annoying?

It's like this is your natural tendency. How were you supposed... Was I supposed to be left handed? Were you? Did you... did they try to get you to switch? Hit? Well, I... they tried to get me to hold the pen in my right hand and I did a bad job of it and do so to this day.

I mean, same, but like how do I know I'd be good with my left hand? Let's try it. Do you want to switch here? Switch to your left and see if you see. It's too late now. They've ruined us. You're almost dead. Well, I can't do I can't do my weird way of holding it when I use my left hand.

It doesn't work. If we found out we were like mutants, right? Yeah. Like we had secret powers. I think I used to. Yeah, have have secret powers. Which ones? I did too. Secret. Me too. I think I used to yeah have superpowers Had so many

So many I had to well I could fly invisible I could they I could walk through walls, dude Well, I never want to oh sorry good Scott you ever want to be invisible? Either of you? Yeah, totally. At any point? No, I wanted all the attention, darling! I mean, I've wanted to disappear. Yeah, man, right? I've wanted to disappear. I mean, I think I've wanted to be invisible

and I want to spy. On whom? Cause you're a little snoop. Anybody. You are a snoop. I like to hear a conversation unedited. Would you- I think you'd need sound muffling powers as well so they couldn't hear you rustling around and of your naked body. Well, yeah, I mean, have you seen the invisible man?

I wouldn't be naked. What if you were invisible but you were a clumsy oaf and you were making so much noise that people were like, I know you're in here. So they would think I was a ghost and then they'd be scared. But ghosts I think make very deliberate noises. This is just be clumsy. Oath noises. The recent invisible man movie is the first in the entire Invisiverse to take care of the being naked while you're invisible problem.

Yeah, they really made sense. That was the last movie I saw in theaters before COVID-19. Mine was Onward. I think that was the first movie we saw at home under lockdown. Wow. Well, you know, it was totally, it was practically empty and the only other people there were like two people I didn't know. Well, that's kind of the joke I made on Instagram, but at the time was a year ago, of course. Um, still, but no,

Brett and Dana were there. Dana Wickens and Brett. Oh, that's right. Yeah. I remember this. We're at the theater and it was very funny to have them walk in. And now they have a corgi. And see now they got a corgi. Were they totally making out during the movie? Because I think if I knew someone in the theater, I'd be too embarrassed to totally make out.

They were sitting right in front of me and they were like, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. And they kept looking back and they were like, did you see that? Yeah. It's such a funny thing to make out during a movie. Like I've done it a few times. No, you haven't.

Not with Cool Out, but back in the day. With Cafe Cordialis. The funniest one was the ice storm. Just like making out constantly during the ice storm. Yeah. Not watching, half watching. I can't remember the movies that I went to when that happened. I guess because I was too focused on the

Do I feel like is there am I on a delay am I slightly behind everybody I don't know like in life Here try this when did you hear this? Hello? Now. I don't know. This is fun to play. When did you? Here, let's try again. Paul, when did you hear this? Right now. Okay, good.

Okay, wait. I'm going to make a sound and then you make it back to me and we'll see how delayed you are. Okay. Beep. Beep. That was great. Okay, let me try one. Boop.

Boop. Okay, yeah, this is working great. I think you're fine, dude. All right, then I don't need that medicine. Josh said you sounded sync on my end and that's the only end that matters. Thanks, Josh. I had something for topics. Scott's topics. Thanks, Yosh. I had something for topics.

Scott's topics. Oh, I did too. Scott's topics. Everybody wait because he wants to tell you. OK, so I was the other day, I was trying to just the other day, just the other day. Walking down the street. As a pretty lady. Did you know what to say?

I was dumbfounded. I had no idea what to say. But I was trying to remember the exact blueprint of the house that I lived in until I was eight. And I was trying to sketch it out because... Why? Just trying to remember just exactly where everything was, right? Okay. Because I can, you know, kind of remember it.

So I sketched it out and then I was like, kind of remember this house I used to fucking live in. But I sketched it out and then I was like, wait a minute, there's no bathroom. I couldn't figure out where the bathroom was. You literally were drawing it. I was literally drawing it. But you forgot that you used to shit in a chamber pot

that you kept under your bed. Well, that was the thing. I was like, I don't ever remember shitting in this house. But what I finally ended up having to do is I ended up, I remember taking a shower in my parents' bathroom, but I don't remember ever. Hold on a second, hold on a second. I don't remember shitting in this house.

I grew up in a house, we were in the same house the whole time, right? We never moved. I know that I shit in that house. I don't have a memory of it though. Well I've got memories of taking some shits. What? Yeah man. What are you talking about?

I've had a lot of memorable ones. I mean for bad reasons, but I mean. What would be some good reasons to have memorable ones. I mean, for bad reasons, but I mean, what would be some good reasons to have memorable ones? I guess if I read something interesting, I mean, I used to read magazines on the toilet. So I remember doing that. I literally didn't remember the room at all. So I, I had to Google map the place and do a street view. And then I saw like,

I saw a window. You saw a lady showering and you're like, there's where I took a shit. I remember that. I saw a window, I was like, that must be a bathroom window. It must have been in that place in the house. But I don't remember it. Anyway, but what I was,

here's the topic I wanted to get to. Is I started just thinking about the rooms. It made me start thinking about the rooms in the house. The rooms where it happened. And, funny, funny. And it made me start to remember, like memories started to flood back to me of like things that happened in each room.

And I wanted to ask- Were you all alone in the moonlight? I believe so. Memories of the shit I used to do in these rooms. But I wanted to see if you guys would imagine a certain room in the house that you grew up in and then just start saying whatever kind of came to mind. We can go one at a time so you're

not talking over each other. Okay, Paul. And just kind of come up with any memory in and pick one room and then just think of anything that ever happened to you in that room. I remember a bedroom that I shared with my brother. No, at this point it was only my bedroom because my older brother had gone out of the house. My sisters were obviously had moved away by that point. So just me and my little brother were the only ones. Obviously.

I mean, it's obvious to anyone hearing this story. Um, uh, and so it was just me and my little brother. We had our own rooms and a bat got in the house. Whoa. And it got, we were trying to get it out with a broom and it managed to get- A baseball bat? Oh, yeah.

Have I told you this already? You were trying to hit the baseball bat with a broom. Somebody threw a baseball bat through the window. There was a note attached to it that said, get out of our neighborhood. So we were trying to get the bat out of the house and then we did and it was so exciting to me that I read an entire book overnight.

Well, so you were just like jazz. I was wound up. What book was it? I don't remember the name of it, but I remember it was like a young, it was all night. That was longer than you remember. You hop on many things before pop. The book was, it was like a Judy Blume adjacent kind of young adult fiction. And I remember it because it had-

We must increase our bust. That's right. How about Luan called forever where there was a penis in it? That wasn't for kids. I know but I read it when I was kid. I'll bet you did you little dirty monster. Oh Oh, yeah, dirty It had the words it had two words that I'd never heard before Fark Fark which I think they were using in place of fuck cool But I but I but I knew that word when I was a kid,

so I thought like, this has some different meaning. I'm not sure what it is. Maybe it does, yeah. And the other word was prig. Prig, oh, she was a prig. I feel like I've read this book, cause I remember. I remember the line, I'm gonna drum that prig right out of the club.

I remember this, what book is this? I don't know. Cause I feel like I read it too, and I'd never heard of the Lawrence on it. Lawrence on it. Look up Prigg and Farke. Isn't it interesting that in sci-fi in the future, fuck is the one word they changed to like frack and that's only in one thing. Come on.

No, I think I think they do it in others in like Star Wars stuff and stuff like that. Well, hey, get the farc out of the way. Who, Godzilla? Did you know? Yeah, Han Solo and Godzilla, everyone. Chules, Chules, will you get the farc out of the way? I don't think- So that's-

Star Wars, the problem with Star Wars is that they don't do it consistently. So when they do throw in a fake slang word, it's always like, yeah. Well, could it have been a Jane Austen book? Scruffy looking Nerf Herder? No, it was not a Jane Austen book. I doubt it.

That's the closest I've come with my Google search. Did you look up, I'm gonna drum that prig right out of the club? I did, and it just was like, drum lessons, wanna learn how to drum? Did you put quotes around it? No, I did not, my dear boy. Tray then, only no one.

I wonder if anybody out there listening knows this book because I remember it's auto filling, but I don't know if it's because I already searched it. Yeah. Well, why don't you just what if a million people are searching? I'm going to drum that program of the club and drum. Why does I'm going to drum that program of the club? Give me drum sets like stop. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. Someone just looks like there aren't many great matches for your shirt. Someone wants to be part of freedom apparently, but no, no, no. Just the three of us. Who are you talking about? Go away. Go away. Is that Coolop? Yeah.

Hi Coolop, I love you. She can't hear you. Why don't you tell her then? I will not tell her that. Never. Be modern, Scott. Paul wanted me to say that I love you No, I love you saw through your roots We so so that's so that's one this is how I wouldn't story that's one bedroom story Lauren

Do you do we want to switch to Lauren? I want to hear another one so I can okay so I can see the range Let's keep going till we run out of rooms Do you want to switch to Lauren? I want to hear another one so I can see the range. Let's keep going until we run out of rooms. Oh, but you don't want to do another one in that room? Yeah, one more in that bedroom. I remember when I did share that bedroom with my little brother, he was very little. He goes, just anything, and he looks up to the side like.

I'm looking at the old cool ball and jeans. What is this weird attack you're taking? You suddenly hate her. I know, it's so random. She ruins my life. My little brother was very little indeed, and he was waking up and talking in his sleep before he was fully awake. Did you hear the secrets that he keeps?

I did, because he said aloud What are you doing here little ducky? You're supposed to be in the water. That's funny. Do you make fun of him? We've course did it became a story. We told many many times Did you ask him about it? And did he remember what he was dreaming about? Yeah, it was a duck wanted he should have been in the water. I don't know if he was in the Gobi Desert. I have no idea where he was. I'll give you one final memory from that room. And this is, I think, oh, nope. I just remembered another one.

Oh boy. Great. That room, when I was in high school, I had a girlfriend over and we were in that room when we were sitting on the edge of the bed and guess what we were kissing. Oh, hell yeah. And my dad was his first base. My dad was first sliding into first. You feel in that burst.

Diarrhea, diarrhea. Right. So, my dad walked in and was very put off. Oh, that's horrible. Oh, so he didn't walk in intentionally to catch you, to stop you from doing something? No, no, no. I think it was dinner time. He was going to alert me of the fact that dinner was ready. When you make out with someone at dinner time, you sly dog. I got to work out my appetite, you know what I'm saying?

Alright, burn a few calories. So... You sly dog. I got to work on my appetite Let's make out I don't want to bulk up so He closed the door and said your mother wouldn't like it if she knew you had a young lady in there. Oh So this was against the rules. No, but had never been discussed ever. There had never been rules. No, there had never been rules. They stopped doing it. I was the fifth of six. Like they stopped with rules. You know what I mean?

It was like you found out you fucked up after the fact. Yeah. Yeah. So I forgot to tell you, I hate that. There was no problem. No, it was not. OK. And the third memory. And was that Janie? Yeah, that's right. Wow. School. Okay. The third memory. And was that Janie? Yeah, that's right. Wow.

We've known each other since high school. Hahaha. Um, and... Good, and that really ran the gamut from... I forgot your first two stories to then kissing. Oh, the bats. It ran the gamut from I forgot the first two to then kissing. Hahaha.

Wow, what a range. That story had everything from I don't to, what did you say again? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I don't know. I think this is fun. I think it's fun. This sounds like a cult activity now to me. I want as many as you can remember. Well, because here's what I think is happening. Scott's like busy with something else, so he just keeps making us do things. No, did Cool Up walk in here even though I'd locked the door because I'm podcasting?

Sure. Wow. Did she use a key? The final memory I can recall from that room was my cousin Doreen and I, our houses adjoined, they were connected by a wall. It was a duplex essentially. And she had the room opposite mine. And so we thought it would be fun to devise a code

so we could like tap on the wall and talk to each other. And the code I devised had some flaws because it was one tap for A. I will say you have told us about this, but I don't remember. It was one tap for A, two taps for B, and so on. Oh my God, if you want to spell a word with Z in it, you have to wait for 26 taps.

We never got that far. But I do remember trying to tap a message to her. I remember also writing it out. Like there was a sheet of paper that had like dots. Oh, and you... Like you think that's Morse code. Yes, exactly. Oh my God.

My friend and I had walkie talkies and tried to do Morse code. Hold on a second. Madden, it's not a room story. It's not a room story. It's not a room story. I'm almost done with my memory. Go for it. Go for memory.

I attempted to send her a message and I was hitting the wall with a hammer and then I just eventually wore a hole in the wall. Oh God. Indeed, could she hear it? But luckily it was in the closet so no one ever saw it. I got away with it. Keep it in the closet. She could hear it. But it's like, I realized to see

he's doing got taken over by Jacko. Wacko, Jacko. He was dancing in his chair. Wow. Did someone wake to hear this or was she totally sleep and like, shut the fuck up? No, she was. She wouldn't speak to me that she totally sleep and like shut the fuck up? No she was a She wouldn't speak to me that way we were shot back up I don't want to hear about how you want to go to the zoo in little taps Like you imagine any of the words it Be sad and you'd probably start over and say animal place.

Morse code was devised because it's quicker, is that what, like the SOS? Well, I think so that it would be- I think also to be a code. Yeah. No, true, but you know, instead of just doing a replacement code. Well, because then you can do it on lights.

Thank you for granting me that. You can do it on lights. You could do it on lights. Yeah, longs and shorts. Longs and shorts, baby. Longs and shorts. And isn't that what life is, longs and shorts? Series of.

Which came up on who wants to be a millionaire recently, and I knew the million dollar answer and some of it. Are there new episodes? No, no, not when I say recently, I mean, many months ago. Oh, because I've been like waiting. Yeah. Walkie talkies you were going to say. I had walkie talkies with a friend of mine,

and they had Morse code. You know, paper that came with it. Yes. And they had the beeps. Yes. Couldn't ever figure out what the fuck was going on with that. But we tried. That's why it was supposed to be on a side within the middle of your story and not

its own story. Yeah, we only did SOS. It's probably as far as we got with the Morse code and the walkie talkies. Yeah, that's all you really need. I'm please save our ship. I still sort of love walkie talkies, even though we try to buy some for our. Oh, yeah, that's right. That's right.

And someone someone by the name of Cool Up said she would buy us all walkie talkies. And then the day came and there were no walkie talkies. I think that's probably for the best. I feel like there was further discussion. Well, also, there's an app. There's a walkie talkie. That's what it all came down to is like, oh, let's just do the app instead. And then no one got an app. There's a walkie-talkie. That's what they'd all came down to is like Oh, let's just do the app instead and then no one got the app the app sucks. It's just like let's just face time Yeah, that's what it ended. That's what we did and the biggest the biggest screen was

Johns with his initials taking up almost the entire Because he didn't answer he would not put he started the call would not put his video on Cause he didn't answer. He would not put, he started the call and would not put his video on. That's psychotic. Well, he's the same person. You think of a room. Okay, I've got the room.

What room do we got? Boom, boom, boom, let's go back to it. Okay, the room is my dad's office in our house. And- This is a spare bedroom, he's turned into the office or it's a like a- It was a garage that was turned into an office attached to the house. And one memory, the first memory that comes to mind

is when I was in middle school and I looked up on YouTube, the first music video I ever saw online. Whoa, was it Whacko Jacko? No, it was Macy Gray, I Try. Because I really liked that song, and so I was like, maybe we could find it online. And then we went online and we found it, and it was very exciting.

I really remember that very distinctly. Wow, and why were- Your dad found it for you? No, I was with my friend, and we just were like- Was the computer was in that room? Is that why it was in that room? Yes, yes, so I was in that room a lot. Chatting online- Is this Dial Up Days? Yes. Wow. were like with a computer was in that room is that why yes so I was in that room a lot chatting on my days yes Wow chatting online you know getting bullied by people at school online with secret accounts yeah people I don't know that I did that no. I'm sure you did, Laura. No, no, I bullied in real life.

No, but I did get bullied online, but it's okay. I'm okay. We figured out who it was at one point and it was pretty exciting. The principal. Were there consequences? No. Okay.

We just were like, we know who it is, fuck you. And then it was like, whatever, still got made fun of. And then, okay, another memory from that room is that an opossum came up to the back door. Have I told you this story? Oh, no. That's opossums? Wow.

And this is, by the way- It's a menagerie. I feel like I might've brought this up because I always wonder about this. How do you say a possum or possum? I say possum, but that's how I was raised. I say possum too, but I think the correct thing is actually a possum.

I had like a full debate during Wild Horses one time, like on stage about this, and I was the only one to- At a Wild Horses show? Yeah. Doesn't sound like you guys. It doesn't. Because I was the only one who said a possum. And everyone thought I was nuts.

And then half the audience was like, no, it's a thing. And then I Googled it later and I was like, any other thing and then whatever. So they're commonly referred to as possums. Yes. But they are. Sometimes rendered as apostrophe possums. Yes. But they are- Sometimes rendered as apostrophe possums.

That's too much. But where I'm from, I never heard, possum sounded like a hick would say it. Possum. Yeah. Like the Beverly Hill Billings. Yeah. Well, my parents were simple country folks,

so it makes sense that they would have taught me that. Well, it sounds like everyone was doing it that way except me. But there was this possum that came up to the back door and it was, I thought rabid, but then I recently read online that they can't get rabies, but somebody random wrote that. So I don't know if it's true.

Can't or won't. Some rando wrote possums can't get rabies. Can you Google that? No. I don't think that's true at all. I've never heard of it. I mean, either. Why would they not get it? Anyway, I think it had rabies? Can you Google that? No. I don't think that's true at all. I've never heard of it. Me either. Why would they not get it?

Anyway, I think it had rabies. So what happened was- So wait, it came up to the door and what? In the middle of the day and it was like- Help me! It was being really nasty to my cat and we were all kind of scared. Nasty.

And my dad hit it with a bat. Baseball. Oh, I thought that it with a bat. A baseball. Oh, I thought that it was the bat that got chased out of Paul's place. I know, it could have been, but yeah, he hit it with a bat. You have told me that story and I blocked it out of my mind. Yeah, I know, I've told this story a bunch of times,

so sorry. So did it break its back and like blood spatter all over? He clocked it on the head, but then it walked away. It walked away, It left, okay? Anything you can walk away with. And then by the time I went to school the next day, it was lying on our front porch, possibly dead or playing dead.

Oh, you never know with those. Crafty little motherfucker. And I went to school and told everyone the story and I was really delighted by what had happened. I thought it was just crazy. It was just so crazy. It was such a crazy thing. But it's kind of my dad's like, it's my dad's old world tendencies, you know, to like, okay, recently this happened, like about well now everything's a year ago now, I feel like, but my dad was staying with me in LA and I was, um, he told me, we went out to eat me, him and Mike. And he was like, Oh, you guys aren't going to like this. Uh, I saw a huge,

huge cockroach in your house. And he was like, he held up, held up his hands like this, like, it's like a few inches, something nasty. Okay. Big. And we were like, Oh, why did you tell us? That's horrible. Cause he, he was like, he's like, ugh, why did you tell us it's horrible? Because he was like, he's like, well, the worst part is, I don't know where it went. Okay, and then so we were like, oh great, now there's this loose roach in the house, I wanna die. And he's like, don't worry, I'll call the witch.

She will make cockroach. Yeah, it was just like a horrible story, because then I was like, now I'm aware that there's this huge bug somewhere in the house and I'm scared hours later, maybe a day later, I'm sitting on the couch and on the corner of my eye, a gigantic roach walks up the side of the couch to my face. Okay. And then I screamed. I was like, it's like, you like try to like,

and my dad just stood up and grabbed it with his, his hand. Whoa. I would never do that. And threw it out the front door. Whoa! And said, don't come back, you son of a bitch. And he grabbed it so hard that a leg was left behind on the couch. Whoa!

So that's my dad's energy surrounding, you know, dealing with wildlife. It's like no big deal. Let's just get to the point. Shit. I mean, sometimes you have to have that in a house because there's people like you who just scream and want other people to take you.

And it was so scary. But I loved it. I loved that moment. So then the possum story, you know, kind of in context is not a big deal really. It's just kind of like, this is just something you got to deal with. I'll tell you about Costa Rica, how like. I mean, you can tell yourself that.

I mean, it was. I was. Well, first of all, I don't believe in animal abuse. And second of all, I was out in the middle of the day being aggressive. So it had a problem. This possum was acting a fool. Yeah. And it's been at least 20 years since he's done that. Wow. I was going to say, did I tell you about in Costa Rica, how in the hotel we were staying

at, like lizards would just come into your hotel room and like sleep up on the ceiling and stuff while you were sleeping? I don't like that. I don't like that either. I don't know if that would bother me, but I guess it depends on how big they are. Well, do they ever come on the bed? That's the thing, they don't, as far as I know, they never dropped onto the bed or anything, and when I first got there,

they're like, oh, by the way, lizards are gonna come in here, they're gonna be sleeping everywhere, and it's like, I don't want that, but then you just kinda like, as long as they don't bother you, you get used to it. What about a net around the bed? Yeah. Right. I didn't bring a net with me.

Why didn't you? I bring a net everywhere I go. Hmm. The bank. Well, do you want a third story from that room? Since it's called The Three? Of course I want a third story. I don't want to be arguing about nets. I told four if you really want to go crazy. Okay. Well, the next story that comes to mind is that for a while in my 20s, I had a party every Christmas with my friends from home.

And- What do you mean friends from home? Like from Evanston, like- Oh, I see, oh. My high school friends and whatever, we would all, I'd invite everyone over for a Christmas party. That's nice. And it was nice. And while it lasted, then suddenly, you know, years pass and nobody's

coming home anymore and everyone's moved and everyone's. It became like there's only two people to invite. That's what I'm telling you. And not two of the good ones. Yeah, it's just kind of like, let's just move it along. Real second string material. But my we would put all of our coats in the office. And my friend was standing in there

and she told me from afar that she was having a baby and she was 24, 25, they had recently gotten married, they were pretty young. She told you from afar? Or maybe she was like 28. Hey! Guess what? Well, no, I mean, I was not...

I was not... I wasn't standing in the room, but I was looking at her in there, and that's what the memory is of her telling me that. And then I was like, ah! And then let me think of another memory. No matter how short, they're good memories. Okay, I got another one.

Well, just to give you a little pastiche, you know? Yeah, yeah. Ooh, pastiche- one. Well, just to give you a little pastiche, you know? Yeah, yeah. Ooh, pastiscio. These don't have to be stories. I just want like glimpses of memories. So when I was little, my dad had a rubber stamp. I steal your memories. When I was little, my, oh yeah, bring it back, it's a t-shirt, so.

When I was little, my dad had a rubber stamp of his signature because I guess other people would use it for his work to sign checks or whatever. That sounds dangerous. I guess he would use it. I guess I was little so I never really understood why it was happening. Yeah yeah so he was probably stamping up and I had used that. I remember sneaking under his drafting table to get it out and to like sign a report card, to sign a permission slip or something. The thing was my parents. Class was going to go to a strip club.

I never needed it. I never like, I was always in charge of like just doing all that stuff, like getting all my forms together and like, just doing all that stuff, like getting all my forms together and like keeping track of all that. And I, it was just a simpler, you know, way to do it. Just be like, he's got it, we're good. And it worked. And they never found out?

No one ever thought anything of it. Like, did they know that it was happening or they just- My parents? Yeah, would he have signed it if you just said, hey, can you sign this? He would have signed it, but I don't know, maybe I had to go to school and he wasn't there and there was some, like, I had to do it at the last minute or something. But yeah, well, I usually would just walk up to my dad while he was reading and then be like, you got to sign this, got to do this, got to tell him, give me five bucks for this.

It has a stamp so you can drink. Fingerprint here. Are you done? I got to go kick some raccoons. Wow, these are good. That's it, that's it. Guess what? You're in the hot seat.

We need a room. It's time. And I want a weird room. Yeah, what's the weirdest room? I mean, there aren't a lot of weird rooms, but I- Or the most, you know, the least expected. The most evocative room is probably the living room where the TV was.

The heart of the house. I remember faking being sick once and like, just cause I just didn't wanna go to school that day, I must've been- Heard of it. Five or six. I don't know how I faked it this time. I do, I remember in the other house I lived in after I saw ET holding the thermometer up to the light bulb.

Yeah. But I try that and then your temperature's 400 degrees. I was thinking about that the other day. Like I never got it. Your head is completely dry and cold, but this thermometer cannot lie. So I think all I did was say that I felt sick and I had a sore throat.

And instead of going to the doctor or whatever, it was like, okay, well, we'll get you fluids and all that kind of stuff. But I wasn't sick. I just, for some reason and, and staying home was the best. I know, but I, I don't even know why I didn't want to go to school because like, then it surprised me. It surprised me years later when on the last day of school, they were like, oh,

by the way, you got perfect attendance this year And I was like really don't I hate school like I don't know I was all over the place on school But I was just the same Not not the same you stayed home. Okay. No, no, no, of course not. No, so I Remember for a different reason if that were true I remember being sick and lying on that couch. And then we were watching PBS and they were doing the telethon at that point. And a dog was barking.

And I remember them saying like, please, please, you have to. Oh, but I was faking laryngitis. I was like, oh, I can't talk. So I remember the PBS people saying please please you have to call in we're in dire need of money and I was like mom you gotta call in their entire need of money and she's like I thought your throat hurt He's screaming to help BPS. As a bit, though. Shh. Oh, hey.

You gotta call in. They need it. They need it, Mom. Oh. That's so funny how sad you felt for them. It's like, they'll be saying this for years. Right. Yeah.

Yeah. I remember there being a Batman punching bag that my mom bought me, which was really nice, and that was in the room for a little while, until it had sand on the bottom, until it finally deflated. I remember reading, are you my mother in that room? I remember there's a rocking chair,

well, okay, so the rocking chair, I had a weird like bladder infection when I was six or something like that. TMI. And I remember I had to go to the hospital and all sorts of stuff. But I remember my mom like comforting me because I was crying and I couldn't, I couldn't like sleep because it hurt so bad. Yeah. All the piss was just up to my apple.

All the black piss was going backwards. My eyes were yellow. All the piss was just up to my eyeballs. All the black piss was going backwards. My eyes were yellow. And I just remember her like rocking me to sleep until I could finally like sleep. But that was a weird one. That was like, I had an operation when I was young

where it was like, first I remember them taking X-rays and then basically saying- They took half your brain and then say- Yeah, they said, it'll probably be fine. No, they took X-rays of me. Like they took off my pant or maybe I took off my, I probably took them off. And, uh, was this an alien abduction? I know. It's what I'm thinking. They shove this thing. No. So I'm sitting there and they're like, okay, we got to take X-rays, but we need, we need it. Like we need it in process. We need like you peeing while we take the X-rays. So I

was like, this sounds nasty. Just anywhere. They're like, yeah, just where you just like, let it go and we'll take the X-rays. So I'm just in a room. Yeah. So I'm just like, he didn't have like a diaper on you or something. No, no, they, they had, I had to be like naked for the X-ray part of it. And they had to be like, don't they do X-rays that don't require to be naked? Maybe not back then. I've no, I don't know. I was not for the diaper area. All I remember is like peeing everywhere and it going on the walls and the ceiling and stuff like that. I don't think you remember to do that. I think you made that up. And then I also, maybe it's a beautiful dream you have. I also remember that was the first time I ever had anesthesia and them saying like,

okay, now count backwards from 10 and me going, 10 is not enough numbers for this. God, 10, nine. And then waking up later. Do you think anesthesiologists love that? Like they know that that's what people think. And they're like, okay, okay. Oh my God. Give you a bigger dose if you need it. Have we talked about this when I got my wisdom teeth out like five years ago or something? No, more than that. Now. Um, I, I was under anesthesia and then I came out of it and I was saying that my doctor was like George Clooney, not true. And then I also was saying,

I just tell them about my improv show and that they should come to it. It's so embarrassing. Do you think the doctor made up the part about you saying he looked like George Clooney? Because that's what I would do. I certainly would. That's funny. No, I think I kind of remember one of my patients when they come out of anesthesia.

You kept saying I was very handsome, like a movie star. No, I think I remember it, it but it be like told back to me like I kind of remembered saying it but it was like oh and then I was crying because they told me I couldn't play basketball anymore. What? After the operation? Yeah. Like anymore ever? Well I was on the basketball team at the time and my

wisdom teeth this was I mean in my 30s this or you know my late 20s when the all the girls were playing basketball in the Comedy League. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was very confused. I was a little bit too. Yeah, it didn't make any sense.

And I got my wisdom teeth out and they were very impacted. Like they'd been like growing sideways for like very many years. And then when they took them out, the bone here, where the wisdom teeth are was very very thin and they were like if you got hit with the ball it could break your jaw very easily. And I had already been hit in the face with the ball because I'm not good at basketball

and so I was like I have to quit but I was crying about it at the time. So is it is it fine now or could if I a basketball at your head, would there be a problem? I think there was enough. I think part of it was that with time, it would have to like heal and grow more. Right. As we all have to do. Wow.

Sit Franny, Franny, sit. Sit Franny, sit. She's being very restless right now. Yeah, I get it. Well, speaking of restless, we have to take a break. I mean, we gotta stretch our legs, walk around, you know? I believe it was John Muir who said we have to take a break.

We will be right back. Hey Paul. Hey, it's me and Lauren. Hey, I have a sock on the door. Oh, so what are you doing here? Excuse me. Do you need the sock? Don't be gunson. Okay, hey, Paul. Hey, it's me and Lauren. Hey, I have a sock on the door. Oh, so what are you doing here? Excuse me. Do you need the sock? Don't be gonzy. OK. Who is she? Just hide under the covers.

Who is she? Don't worry about it. Hey, we wanted to ask you, does anything motivate you to cook more than having... Oh, no, I'm having a question about my motivations. Does anything motivate you to cook more like having high quality ingredients on hand? You know what? Get ready to be surprised nothing does Nothing motivates me more for that and guys. I've been cooking a ton recently because of butcher box really

Yeah, really I never thought I'd be able to make pulled pork all on my own I could pull it probably because you know my parents didn't think so either But with butcher boxes pork which is raised crate free by the way And you know, my parents didn't think so either. Really? You'll never do that. No one believed in you. No one believed in you. But with ButcherBox's pork, which is raised crate free, by the way, I was able to make these incredible sandwiches for our famous barbecue. Wow, you make your own sauce too. Well, we were all shocked you made them by yourself.

We didn't believe you. We started kicking your butt. All my friends were shocked. Yeah, I got beat up. The one thing I've heard about ButcherBox is the big draw is the convenience. Can attest. Of it.

Less trips to the grocery store, more time to enjoy cooking. Plus, I also heard ButcherBox gives you curated tips and recipes based on what's in your box, which as far as I'm concerned is super helpful. Well, wait, the value. We got to talk about the value. It's incredible. OK, you get these amazing cuts of meat that are hard to find at the grocery store. And the prices are unbeatable.

High quality, humanely raised meat with no antibiotics or added hormones delivered right to your doorstep with free shipping. Paul, what more could you ask for? Paul, how do we get this? What if my parents were still alive? Yeah, sure. Sign up for ButcherBox today by going to butcherbox.com slash freedom and use code freedom at checkout and enjoy your choice of bone in chicken thighs, Top sirloin or salmon in every box for an entire year plus get $20 off

Again, $20 off. Yeah Wow again. How do I get it butcher box comm slash freedom and use code freedom? All right, get back in there, buddy Let's be real who has the time or money to eat at restaurants all the time? Me? Well that's right, you're an eccentric millionaire, I forgot. If you've got a refined taste for food, you know how expensive exploring your local food scene can get. Plus it's hard to find the time and energy to try somewhere new.

Well you know what, I actually heard about something that takes care of homes. What is it? Okay, Cook Unity? Oh, yeah, it's the first chef-to-use service that delivers locally sourced meals from award-winning chefs right to your door every week. And guess what? What? Let me take a guess.

Okay. It's cheaper than other delivery options out there. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. Yeah, I guessed it. I guessed it. Can I tell you something real about there. Yeah. Yeah. How did you guess it? I guessed it. Can I tell you something real about this? Yeah. If you're not running to check this site out already, you need to go to cookunity.com slash freedom or enter code freedom before checkout for 50% off your first

week. So we, we started advertising with Cook Unity and we liked it so much that now we pay for it. He's off script. They sent us free meals. That's wild. we liked it so much that now we pay for it. They sent us free meals. That's wild. They sent us free meals, and now we just pay for it. He's not looking at the paper. Wow. You know what's good about it?

Well, let me talk about my experience, okay? I was blown away. I was blown away. Does no one wanna hear about my experience? I was blown away. Why don't you talk about what you experienced? Well, what I like about it is, like, the portion, anytime you order food from a restaurant,

you get gigantic portions and then you just eat the gigantic portions. This is like good portions that make you full at the end, but it's not crazy. So you're not like gaining weight all the time. You're sated. Yes. But you're not gorging yourself.

Exactly. It's really good stuff. I like it a lot. I personally was blown away by the taste and quality of the spicy shrimp pasta. Yeah. Yeah. That was a good. I personally was blown away by the taste and quality of the spicy shrimp pasta Yeah, yeah, that was a good one. It was perfectly seasoned and the shrimp was good to perfection We had some blueberry pancakes delivery Made in advance. Yeah. Yeah, you don't cook it. It's um, depending on your microwave might heat it up you heat it up

It's depending on your microwave. It's like two or three minutes I do three because I have a less powerful microwave that's a little little glimpse into my life. But yeah, it's really good. Your microwave is 10 watts. The health of your house feels good. Yeah. Supporting local chefs and suppliers, knowing that my meals are made by talented chefs in local micro kitchens, not large production facilities. It makes a huge difference to me.

So experience chef quality meals every week delivered right to your door. Go to cook unity dot com slash three or enter code freedom before check out for 50 percent off your first week. That's 50 percent off your first week by using code freedom or going to cook unity dot com slash three. Thank you, Cook Unity. You've surely unified the cook! One of the biggest challenges with weight loss plans is that they're often one size

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And check out Noom's first ever cookbook, The Noom Kitchen, for 100 healthy and delicious recipes to promote better living. Available to buy now wherever books are sold. ["We're Back!" by Noom Kitsch plays in background.] We're back! I also remember, by the way, in that room, a... Ooh, continued. The year that my parents brought home,

like a star for the top of the Christmas tree that was electric and like had a pattern of... It's electric. Yes, thank you. Had a pattern of lights flashing. It was so gauche and like loud and vibrant, but I was just fascinated with it when I was a kid and I would just look at it.

It was the best thing that we'd ever gotten. It sounds great. And you'd be like, mommy, do we have taste? We did not. But that's another memory from that room. Those are my memories from that room. That's it, I love it. And watching a lot of TV.

I loved having a Christmas tree when we were kids. It was so magical to me. So magical to me. I still feel that way. Christmas trees are a fantastic invention. I think they're amazing. It's just like a great time of year. Like it always just feels so cozy and homey

when you put up a Christmas tree. I guess for me it's like that particular kind of warmth of the holiday season when you were a kid is so... I still love it. I love the Christmas season and I love people's decorations. I love decorating our house and you know, the glow... That's where we used to eat. Sure. But that, uh, uh, when that, when the room is just lit by the tree, that's the only light that's on is such a wonderful feeling.

But man, when you're a kid, it is like, it's like nothing else. I agree. I hate it. Uh, I hate it. I hate Christmas. Scott. Don't. I'd rather work.

I'd rather go to work and all my employees. You're such a Scrooge. Who's that? He's this guy. He's based on you. He's a mouse, right? No, sorry, he's a duck. And he has this mouse that's working for him.

Oh, is Donald Duck the Scrooge in that? No, Scrooge McDuck is the Scrooge. Oh, of course. Get it together. I've never seen that, by the way. I must have. I remember seeing it in the theater in Orange County. Oh my gosh.

Which movie is it? The Cineplex 6? No, it was the one. OK, I saw Oliver and Company there. Oh my god. I never got to see that movie when I was a kid, but I wanted to so bad and I loved the commercial and they had the toys at McDonald's or Burger King

and I tried to get those and I did get some of them. What was it? I don't remember anything about Oliver and Company. It was like a cat. Sweet Billy Joel. That got taken in by all these dogs and all the dogs had great personalities, and they were always dancing on a car and singing,

and I was like, I gotta get my hands on this, and I just never got to see it. Were your parents keeping it from you? Did they not wanna take it? I don't know if they even knew how much I cared about it, but I just loved the idea of this movie, and I was like, I need all the toys. Okay, I'll tell them now and see if they'll take me.

Were your, were your, my parents were very cheap. Were your parents cheap? Or was it like, if you wanted to see a movie, was it fine? Yeah, it was usually fine to see a movie. And I mean, when I was a kid, my mom would take, I remember going to the movies with my mom and my brother a lot and like in a hot summer day

and sneaking in with some, we'd always sneak in with, you know, snacks and Coke. Oh yeah. My parents would do that too, even though they were religious, that's the one thing that they were like popcorn and everything is too expensive. At a certain point in the movie, I'm going to unwrap a candy bar and hand it to you.

Oh yeah, it was always, well, I mean, I don't know if we've talked about this, like that moment when you just have to click your pop open, like right when like there's a big noise like, and then you're just like, we're in. Hey, hey, hey. Was it a thing that you were ever really not allowed to do or was it like, did people get busted for it?

Oh yeah, well. It always felt like that when I was growing up, it felt like someone is going to kick me out if they see this. And so even until now, I feel very self-conscious with bringing up food. I was recently at Universal, not recently, obviously, because nothing's been recently, but I was at Universal's.

Yeah, gotcha. I was at Universal Studios and I bought a gift from Popcornopolis. Oh, you did tell us this. Yeah. And they took it away from me. I tried to get in, they wouldn't let me in, so I had to throw away an expensive popcorn right in front of them before they would let me in. I think that's crazy.

And I'm wondering, could you have gone back to Popcornop, and gotten a refund or had them hold it for you until they, why couldn't they hold it for you in the box office? They wouldn't do it. These stupid 18 year old kids, help themselves. But that's bullshit if there's, if you're in like an area that has stores around it like that, like, that's what I said anyway, but then again, who cares? But I, I feel like if you get the food in your home free like it doesn't they don't care

They're not gonna be like sir come with me. Yeah, if I were you and I had bought a gift at popcorn opolis Which what how much that cost you over $30? I'd say uh I I don't even know I don't even know what's in there, but I'm just saying I bet you Overpriced that's disgusting, and I would be pissed forever about that. If I was like, I paid $30. I'm still pissed. Just stupid fucking gift. Imagine how cool up fell was our anniversary. She didn't get her Popcornopolis present.

I will say I used to sneak into the theater with my friend where we had a scam where he, one of us would buy a ticket and then open the back door and let the other person in. And then our plan was if anyone ever asked us, we would pull out the one ticket and go, oh, I lost my stub, but they can't kick us out for having one ticket. And it always worked except one time,

some guy came in and was like, hey, you guys snuck in. And we pulled out the one ticket and we're like, oh, we can't find the other one. He was like, I know what you did, but I can't kick you out. And he walked away. Oh, you must've felt really proud. What if they kick you out if you don't have a ticket?

Yeah, I guess they could, but I don't know. What if he walked right in the front, like I can't find my ticket stub. I feel like making a big deal out of someone sneaking into the movies is very petty Yeah, and being like you need to leave It's like you're not really making money off of this like me sitting here doesn't affect how much money is coming in I mean, it's just a concept anyway To make people think they're poor

Hmm, it's really deep man Paul. Were your parents cheap? They were thrifty because we were not particularly well off, but they were very good at hiding that from us. So when I was a kid, I thought of them as cheap, and now I realize they were not. Yeah. My dad had a thing about he just didn't want to pay anyone to do anything that he felt

like he could do himself. So all sorts of things, and he still does it, but all sorts of things happening where like, I remember a cement mixer pulling up to the back, to our backyard of that old house and him like taking out the bricks in the wall so that the cement mixer could like pour cement because he wanted to pave the backyard himself. And he did it all himself. Like he did all the tile in our new house himself. Made us do it.

Just show up, dump all your cement and I'll take it from there. Yeah, it was. But it was a big day for the neighborhood where people were like coming by going like, oh, look at the cement truck. Same thing as when he like hauled out a huge tree himself with the help of like five of his church buddies.

It was like the whole neighborhood came around like checking out the tree being- The power of plants- Lauren, you are just zoning out. No, I'm just, I'm actually thinking about a question for you. Oh, okay. Hit me. What's a tree? Scrambling, scrambling, scrambling.

No, I was gonna say like, you don't mind outsourcing. You prefer it. I prefer it because I, there's, yeah. I don't find it a waste of money for me to pay someone to do something that I, I can't do. Like I fixed our dishwasher and stuff like that. Especially during quarantine when it was like, Oh, no one can come by the house. So like I would watch a YouTube video

and I figured out how to do it. And like there is a pride to it, but it's like, then you look at it and go, oh, three hours of my life are gone when I could have been doing something else. Yeah, I mean, I think if there's a situation where someone could do it much faster and more effectively and efficiently,

I'd much rather outsource it. But only with things that I'm like not sure I'm gonna do right or that might be hard. Like I don't mind cleaning, but I don't want to fix like an appliance really. I'd rather just call someone and make sure that it was done properly. But if you knew how to do it and it's still like,

you weren't doing it all the time like a professional. So it would take you five times as long, but you knew how to do it. Would you do it? That's my dad is what I'm saying. I don't think so. It depends on what it is, but I feel like the idea of me spending hours

trying to fix something and not being, I mean, I don't know, it just, it feels futile. Yeah. And you're saying in this hypothetical, I do know how to do the thing. So I guess- Yeah, like you have done it before. You're like, oh, I know how to do that. It takes a long time. Well, like, for example,

I'll plunge a toilet. I'll figure that out. Yeah, I hope so. But I mean, like, not just plunging. Like, we had a toilet overflow. And then I was like, I think I could talk to my dad and figure out how to do everything. And I did it all. And I think by the time the plumber got there, which I did call anyway, just to make sure it was fine.

He's like, can you check my work? He comes with shit everywhere. Hey, look at this. Where you like my poop? You fill the toilet. But I don't mind trying to learn something like that, where especially when I know it's gonna come in handy a lot. I know how to change the ball thing in the toilet

and all that shit. Change the ball thing in the toilet. Now you're looking for it. I know. My dad used to have a job where he flew helicopters for a guy who ran a company. Oh, sorry. For a guy who what?

Who ran a company. He was the CEO. We know what was his name. What's his name? Oliver. He had this great company with great personalities. Everyone had a really great personality. No, but so in and his thing was he would fly a guy to a, he would, he would fly from the, from the building, the corporate office,

and he would fly him to like another city that was only like a part of LA and it was just a half hour away, but it was, but it was like 10 minutes instead of half an hour for him to drive. And he was like, that doesn't seem worth it to me. And he was like, but, but for that guy, it's worth it because those 20 minutes that he could be working and making money, he would rather pay the helicopter guy. Yeah, but it's like real, not a real housewives. Yeah, it just seems like a weird flex. Like real housewives will fly from OC to LA for like an episode, like in a helicopter.

Like we'll make jokes sometimes about like flying from Burbank to LAX like an episode, like in a helicopter. Like we'll make jokes sometimes about like flying from Burbank to LAX or something. It's just like insane. They go to an event and they're like in a helicopter and it's like, come on. Yeah. Just drive. Just drive, your housewives. Just drive yourself, housewives.

Just drive a few hours, please. Yeah. Please, please. And by the way, we're begging you. Please, housewives. I want you to drive, please. Yeah. Please, please. And by the way, we're begging you. Please. Housewives. I want you to drive, please. Please.

Housewives. The real housewives. The real housewives. Of OC. There's new real housewives coming soon. I know you guys are curious. Okay, reality recap. Would you be one, Lauren?

We've already covered this. I know, but I wanna to film my own version. I would love to see Cool Op on one of those shows. Oh my God, I'd love to see that. Oh boy. She'd be the most interesting one. I would love it. I never said otherwise.

So defensive. I would love it if you were on a reality show. All I want is to watch somebody I know on a reality show. I love this. Really? I love this. Someone I know might get on The Bachelor and I'm like really a Bachelorette actually and I'm very a reality show. I love this. I love someone I know might get on The Bachelor and I'm like really a Bachelorette actually

and I'm very excited. Currently. It would be a future season, but he has interviewed for. Oh, he's just been born. Yeah, yeah, to be, yeah, but he might get on it. But he's really hot. He might get on it.

Show's gonna be in its 80th season. Every baby potentially could get on one of the Bachelor shows. That's what's so exciting about a new baby. It's like the world lay before them, you know, with just options. That is exciting. So you just wanna see your friends, what,

in personal moments that are being filmed? Okay. Yeah. I wanna see how they are in that context. Like, I would love it if there was a camera crew following you and Janie and you and Kool-Up in your houses. Me and Janie and Paul and Kool-Up. And I would just, I would think that would be so entertaining. I just can't even express.

I can't think of anything more hellish. Well, I know you hate it. I never thought about it until you said that. And the idea popped to my mind of what it would be like to be just like in your own home with some camera crew there. Yeah. It sounds so weird when you really think about doing it actually in your house. Like, yeah.

How how contrived probably rules like you can only come over on these days and you know, like with the Kardashians or whatever, it's like, hey, come over on Monday. We're going to do this bit where we do. Well, Kardashians is a lot more scripted than other shows, but I feel like if for like, you know, Real Housewives, it's like they know they're going to be filming that day. Then, you know, they get into a mood and they get very hype it up. Yeah, exactly. But it's not every single day of your life. Right. Did I tell you that when Rockwell, the singer of Somebody's Watching Me,

had his big hit song, he was being interviewed by Rick Dees on Kiss FM in the morning and he had brought a camera crew with him and because he was going to be making a documentary about his life, so there he had hired them to follow him around 24-7 until the end of his life. And I wonder how long that actually happened. Wait, wait, wait, wait. This is like when Sufjan Stevens was like, I'm making an album for every single state and then he made two. For the rest of his life.

He was like, yeah, I'm just playing. Yeah. Just hired a camera crew. They're going to follow me around because, you know, like I'm a superstar now and my life's so interesting. And so and I just wonder like how long, how long before he sat everyone down? I was like, okay, the money's run out. I would love to see the end of that footage. Like what it was like the last week. They're like, let's just call it.

Him just making a grilled cheese sandwich. Oh man. We got to take a break. We got to take a break. We'll be right back. Hey Scott. Hey buddy. What's going on? Oh, I wanna talk to you.

Talk to me. I wanna talk to you about something. Yeah buddy. Do you know athletic greens? The what? Let me make it more specific. AG1. What about it?

Yeah, AG1. We all know what that is. I wanted to improve my gut health because my gut health was not good. Right. So that's why I tried AG1. Okay, yeah, you've told me all this before. But I haven't told you this. Oh, okay.

Since drinking AG1 daily, I've felt a big difference. Oh, I wondered how it was working for you. It's made a big difference? Oh, yeah. I feel more relaxed and even. And even keel,el perhaps my keel feels much more even throughout the day. Yeah, I'm even keeled That's so good for you. I also feel like I have more energy Yeah, thank you one Wow, you know why though Paul no, I have not questioned it I did my own research and it's because AG1 is a foundational nutrition supplement that

supports your body's universal needs like gut optimization, stress management, and immune support. When I think of a foundational nutrition, I think of the founding fathers and I think of all of them drinking AG1. Yeah, I like to think of Washington crossing the Delaware and instead of pointing to where he wants to go, he's just like- He's got a big thermos.

Yeah. Since 2010, AG1 has led the future of foundational nutrition, continuously refining their formula to create a smarter, better way to elevate your baseline health. Man, Paul, I love that every scoop includes folate, magnesium, and ashwagandha for stress support. Help us ashwagandha, you're our only hope.

I recommend AG1 to all my family and friends because it is tested for 950 contaminants and NSF certified for sport. That's right. Even my parents, my friends, my family, etc. have started drinking AG1. They always tell me how energetic they feel. Why don't they tell me? I feel like I'm the guy that got this whole thing started. I know, but they don't have your number.

Well. They have thought of truly everything to make AG1 the perfect supplement for your health. We love the taste. If there's one product. Don't we, folks? That I had to recommend to elevate your health, it's AG1.

And that's why I'm excited to welcome them as a new partner. If you want to take ownership of your health, it starts with AG1 it's AG1. And that's why I'm excited to welcome them as a new partner. If you want to take ownership of your health, it starts with AG1. Try AG1, get a free one year supply of vitamin D3K2, and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase at drinkag1.com slash freedom. That is drinkag1.com slash freedom. Check it out.

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Let's take a moment to talk about something we all face from time to time. Comparing ourselves to others. With social media, it is so easy to look at someone else's life and think, wow, they've got it all figured out. But let's be real. That's often just the highlight reel. Therapy can be a fantastic tool to help you focus on what you truly want rather than what

you think you should want based on someone else's life. It's about discovering your own path and starting to live your best life. Now, I love therapy. I recommend it to everyone, especially when it comes to setting healthy boundaries and re-centering yourself. I think everyone should have a support person that they can talk that stuff out with. If you've been thinking about starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try.

BetterHelp is entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. You just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and you can switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. Stop comparing and start focusing with BetterHelp.

Visit betterhelp.com slash threedom today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash threedom. And we're back. Well, now it's time for the part that everybody loves the most. It's the threacherous section. This is the part of the show where we all play a game. This is a game that was sent to us by, I don't know who, and it was called Celebrity Impressions Couples Therapy. Each person writes down the name of a celebrity and passes it to their left.

Then the three people begin a scene at a therapist office where one person chosen at random is the therapist and the other two are a couple with a dispute that needs to be resolved. They play the scene as the celebrity they've been passed. Now we think the best way to do this is for one person to be the therapist and the other two to assign a celebrity to each other.

And then the therapist has to guess who they are. So Paul and I, Paul and I will be the couple and we're gonna text each other who we are. So right now, and then Lauren, you're going to have to guess who we are. We have each other's phone numbers. We don't like to brag about this, but, and by the way, Paul, you have a little something in what I call the stash.

You have a little crumb. Yep. It's gone. Yep, it's gone. Oh, it's gone. You don't have to keep touching your face. I love it though. It's gone. Yeah, you love touching your face. Paula's about to send me, I've already sent him, his celebrity.

I'm seeing a person in my mind and I keep blanking on the name, which is weird. Like another name gets in the way. and it's uh it's frustrating I understand you can go to Wikipedia look up there shut up shut up shut up shut up you shut up okay I got it okay I don't got it though cuz I'm sending it to you and then you will get it wonderful I got it all right are we sit I haven't received your text. I'm sending it to you and then you will get it. Wonderful. I got it. All right. Are we, I don't want to do an impression. That is what you're doing.

Does it have to be an impression? I would much rather just say, use our own voice. From clues? Okay, fine. Yeah. You'll see why. I understand already, I'm guessing. Okay, so go ahead.

And okay, well, thanks for coming in today, guys. I'm really happy that you're here. Thank you for accommodating our particular needs because I hope you don't mind doing this outdoors. I don't. Do you have any water? Yeah, would you like any water? Yeah. Would you like a bottle of cold or room temp?

I'd like a bottle, but he wants, you know. Could you just, yeah. I take- You wanna put it in a bowl? Yeah, if you wouldn't mind, yeah. Do you mind? Okay. No, I don't mind. Yeah, in any case, thank you so much.

I mean, I know it's crazy, uh, that we're together. Um, you know, especially after I got divorced, you know, so recently to that hot, hot hunk of a man. Okay. Okay. JLo. I'm not JLo. Okay.

JLo. That's what I say to her. I was just using it as a term. She starts talking like this. Yeah. Well, you know, that's very insulting, but you can't tell us apart. Ooh, I hadn't thought of that. Oh, no, no, of course I can't.

It was a joke, because she recently got divorced as well. OK, but I think it's... Or she wasn't divorced, I guess she wasn't married. OK, my joke is ruined. I don't like you calling another Latin person JLo. OK, I'm sorry. That's true. I don't either.

Thank you, honey. Here, let me scratch behind your ears. Thank you. There goes my leg. Okay, so... I guess what's weird to me is... Do you have anything to ask us? What are we doing here?

How should we just start talking to you? I want to just ask, have you been in a relationship with a dog before? Uh, I mean, my ex- ex husband is kind of a dog. But this was a literal one who seems to want a little certain literal literal. Oh, okay. Well, I thought you said little and well, yes. Thank you. Thank you. Yes. And so you know, you're dating Clifford, the big red dog. That

seems kind of obviously he's big, he's red, and he's a dog. Now here's the thing. I think she's moping around the house so much because she got divorced from her hot, hot, hunky husband. And also her show just ended and she's got nothing going on. Well, also because you make no money other than just like. I'm a dog.

Yeah, and I have so much money from Cintation and being one of the leads on that show that ran forever. So it's just, you know, I'm one of the richest, most well-paid celebrities in the world and I have my... Oh, Sophia Vergara? Yeah, thank you so much. She's divorced? From Joe Perra, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

In this reality, because... Well, see, that's the problem with this reality is that you need it to be factual because I'm going off of what you say you needed to be factual because I'm going off of what you say. Okay, should I say I'm cheating on him? Yes. Wait, are they not divorced? No, they're still together.

They're still together. That's why I thought you were J-Lo. I beg your pardon. Wait, then what? I thought you were saying that they got divorced. See, you have to use context clues that help you deduce. I was saying that because why would I be with you? It's a couple.

But Scott, it's not about that. It's about how you figure out. Don't you lecture me. It's about how you figure out. I lecture you. It's how you figure out what you need to do. It's how you figure out who the celebrity is. Shut up and know your place.

With real clues from their real life. Hello everyone, it's Paul. Oh. It's okay, it's fine. So let's do it again. Don't get angry at me. I still crushed you with these lies. Let's do it again, same characters.

Thank you for making us up. Okay, so I'll text Paul. I thought we did rather well and you got it very good. I thought so too. I forgot it was Sophia Vergara's former husband who's in the weird fight with her about the eggs. About the embryos, yeah. Embryos, excuse me.

And that's who I was talking about when I was saying I was divorced with that hunk, hunk, hunk of a man. So your lecture doesn't apply. I think so. You just got in on that so it would make sense. Okay. Wait, who's playing? Who's the therapist? All of us, stupid.

Me and Paul. You're the therapist. I'm the therapist. Okay. So I'm going to text Paul a person or place or thing to be. Oh, a thing. Well, since you were Clifford. Poor place.

Sure. You're Montana. I am the Cathedral of Notre Dame. This is exciting. This is the part that everyone, the anticipation is building because it's like these two are thinking and they're texting to each other. And we leave it all in. We don't cut any of it out.

Yeah we never cut anything out which is so good. Did you text me? Yes here it comes. I just got it. Paul is just doing bits and it put his phone down. OK. Yeah, I hate when emails are like so dramatic. Like I got one from Gavin Newsome that was like, Lauren, please let me explain. Like that was that was so funny.

Can I say what politicians are doing now? That I don't like plane every tweet that they do now is starts with a let me be clear or Let's get this out of the way or I've said it before and I'll say it again. Yeah, it's like just tweet the thing I don't like when they do pass it on. It's like no you're the person in chair You're telling everyone. Yeah, you deal with it pass do something about Government okay ready. Yeah. Yeah. Hi guys. Oh My so much come on in here. You can take a seat anywhere even on the couch Yeah, that's mainly where okay. Yeah, great. This is a privilege too Okay, do you why what you don't want to sit on the couch? Are you worried? No, I all I want to do is sit on the couch too. Okay. Do you, why, you don't want to sit on the couch or are you worried about that?

No, all I want to do is sit on the couch. Yeah. I don't usually let him sit on the couch. You're a couch guy, obviously. I mean, I think of myself as one, yes. You don't let him sit on the couch as well? Not usually, just to preserve the fabric. There's a bunch of shit I'm not allowed to do, by the way.

Oh, like what? I don't know. What are the rules at your house? Oh, not again. I mean, obviously you guys are here because you're having issues. I would love to hear what the... You're really going to do this. You're going to... The first thing you're going to say is you're going to list all the things you're not allowed

to do in that house. Okay, instead of doing that, let me confess something. I am a bit of a loose cannon, I guess you could say. And you know, like I tend to not be aware of my own presence, you know, like I tend to not be aware of my own presence, you know? Like, I don't know, I'm just like a bull in a china shop sometimes. Very good, see, at least you have some understanding

for why I- Some self-awareness, that's good. So you have no self-awareness in your bull in a china shop. And so you think the rules that she sets down for you are valid? I guess, but I don't, I can't keep them in my head. I just want to do what I want to do. You know what I mean? Yeah.

When you say you're a bull in a china shop, you're talking metaphorically, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm not a bull. He does wreak havoc. You're not Michael Jordan. Let's just say my picnic was recently, my picnic was recently destroyed by him. Famously fell out of the couch.

I did, yes, I destroyed a picnic. I'm sorry again. I didn't know I was destroying it. I was destroying my thing. What were you trying to do, steal the food? And you destroyed Spaghetti Night at school? And what? What else did I do?

You destroyed Spaghetti Night at school? Yes, I destroyed Spaghetti Night at school. Look, what was I even doing there? Yeah, why were... I don't understand the picnic, the spaghetti night. What are your food issues? He likes to make a mess. It's not that I like to make a mess, it's that I don't mind when a mess is made. Is that fair to say?

You don't like to clean up or you don't mind? He doesn't clean up. Okay. I clean, I clean, I take care of my own side of the street. You know what I mean? If I can help, if I could teach him how to clean up, I'd be a happy woman. Yeah. Okay.

So would you say it's a bit of a pig pen around your place? Yeah, it's messy. Okay. But anyways. Well, let me ask you this. You're so worried about cleaning. You have all the time in the world now. Yeah, what are you doing? What are you up to?

Do you have a job? Do you work? I don't know that much about you. Could you just give me all of your biographical facts? Who me? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You don't know who I am. Well, you haven't said. I'm sorry. You're kidding. You gotta be kidding. You don't know who I am. I'm seriously, I said that. I'm sorry. You're kidding. You gotta be kidding. You don't know who I am. I'm seriously, I'm on one of the most watched TV shows of the recent decade.

Yeah. I'm- Of course you are. I don't own a TV, I'm sorry. So I- I got my start a long time ago, but this show really made me pop off. Let's just say that.

Okay. And- I'll take your word for it. I's just say that. Okay. And- I'll take your word for it. I don't, I'm not obsessed with celebrity culture. Well, okay, have you seen any, maybe you've seen Happy Gilmore? Julie, I of course have seen Happy Gilmore. So you do know who I am?

Yeah, well, you told me your name walking in here, Julie. Well, then why were you saying I don't know who you are? You're a weird doctor. No, I don't know who you are in the context of the world. You're trying to brag about who you are. I don't watch TV. So you don't know my last name? It's, you know, good old Julie.

No Googling, no Googling. Where are your eyes going? Why is your face lighting up with white? Julie, you know. You know her. You know. How about'll give you a little mad Libs blank and arrow Bowman Bowman no bow Jesus my finger bow finger yeah I saw a bow finger Julie bow finger anyway as for you yeah as for me yeah now you now you're done talking to me, I see. Look, I'm more of a guys guy, you know?

I mean, like I have a better rapport with guys. Can you get him a bowl of water to put on the floor? I was gonna say, all right, fine, here you go. So you're a dog as well. Yeah, obviously. Are you fucking new to earth? So you're, I mean, look, there's been some messy animals who have come through this office. There's been Garfield. There's been Heathcliff.

Always throw on the fish bones around the cartoons. Yeah. And you're a real dog. You're a messy, real dog. I'm a messy. But this is what I'm saying. I'm a messy, real dog. But this is what I'm scared of because he's getting really old. I'm actually shocked he's still alive. He was really popular. He was popular about 30 years ago. So we're you know, we're I'm concerned.

30 years ago, you were popular in the 90s. That's amazing. Do you know one of my favorite movies? And it's ironic. Clifford. With Charles Groton. I love him. I love Charles Groton is a good friend of his. They worked together on his movie. He's very special to me. Yes.

Well, uh, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun Hey, that's the alarm saying we're out of time, Beethoven. What? And you never knew who I was. Bow in, yes, okay. Oh my God. Bow finger. All right, now me and Lauren. Um, okay.

Uh. Ah. By the way, Lauren, you copied me taking a famous dog. I know, that's what a joke was. That's a joke. And I picked someone from Hodder family. We had a good time. Yeah, did you get that?

That's a joke? Mm-hmm Zed your joke it My god, look at these two goons. All right. Here we go Okay Welcome, thank you for being here. How are we feeling today? Rough. Um, I'm feeling depressed. We're going through it. Okay. I'm feeling depressed. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I would take it. Here you go. It's just about to off you. Thank you. I just want to come home. Here you are. I don't want to be here.

You do. Now, you say you can't write any songs. I'm just stuck. I mean, being with this guy, it's too much. It's like, it's just taking out my creative energy. I'm totally zapped. I should be. I'm usually, you know, writing new albums every few years, you know?

I mean, I've got a lot of hits. You could write a few more, you know, get some, a little more money coming in here instead of taking so much time in between your records. Okay, well you have no residuals, so it's not great. I have plenty of residuals from the fifties. I think those weren't a thing yet until Brady Bunch. Yeah, you're right.

So I stop lying about having money coming in is basically my point. We know you don't. You're getting residuals from, these are TV specials that you did? He did more than specials. Yeah, I had a very popular television show, but he doesn't, I mean, you get some residuals. I get some residuals, I've been on TV a bunch. I mean, look, it's mostly my concerts that really,

what the thing, but you know. Anytime they repeat the Grammys. And I get residuals once in a while. A lot of my songs are in movies. I caught up on all the Grammys during the quarantine. So it was great to see you there so many times. And lastly, to see you there as well. Thank you.

Was really wonderful. It's wonderful to be seen. I mean, I'm in black and white. I'm dead. I just want to go home. You're in color sometimes. Yeah. Yeah, that's true.

Now let me ask you, as far as your albums go, what's the last one that you felt really proud of and connected to? Well, I gotta say that- I'm not talking to you. Lassie, you don't have albums. Did you already guess that? Here's the problem.

I already did guess Lassie, yes. Here's the problem with him, is everyone loves his early work, especially his first big hit song, and then he's just being like obtuse with his career and going off and doing like weird solo stuff and and you know and and totally changed his style. Have you ever been scuba diving? Yeah, what's that?

Have you not you Lassie? Have you ever been scuba diving therapists? No, I haven't. Please call me therapy doctor. I I've never been scuba diving. I have a terrible fear of the water Not just what are you afraid of any water? Well, there's things in it that can get me There's like something that would happen to your body when you're going under though. Yeah that a creature would get me But with like your air supply. Yeah

Maybe if you fell into a moon-shaped pool or anything, you know? A moon, like round? Yeah. So, would I be worried about my air supply? If it starts to run out, what would happen to your body? You know, what happens to the body when that starts to run out? Well, I would drown. Yeah. No.

No? That's what he's really afraid of. I'm trying to lead you. But I also, here's the other big problem. I know. Here's the other big problem. Yeah. Everyone loves his song, right?

Everyone loves his song, but then everyone thinks it's a song by like some other band, like Stone Temple Pilots or TLC or something, you know? And it's like- They do? Yeah, because they have songs that are titled the exact same thing, and everyone gets confused, and they all came out at the same like, yeah, because they have songs that are titled the exact same thing and everyone gets confused. They all came out at the same time, weirdly in 1994 and everyone gets confused and it's hurting his career. It's hurting his career.

I just want him to get back. I'm sorry. I'm just remembering the title of every song from 1994. I'm British and I'm... Now you're just saying... And I have an interesting look about me. I'm thin as you can see. A lot of people make the joke that he should wind up with Peppermint Patty, you know, which is funny, but instead he's with me. Right, because his name is Tom York. Yeah, exactly. You nailed it. So now we get therapy for free.

Yes. What we want. Oh, I'm not a therapist. What? Who are you? Get him. And I won. And you won all of them. That is how you play celebrity couples therapist.

That was fun. Sent by anonymous. That was fun. Good job. Thank you anonymous. Is that the same anonymous who wrote that Trump book? And Tom York split from Radiohead and started a solo career? He keeps going back and forth. He does what he does. He should put out more Radiohead records, but instead he seems more interested in his...that's what I was trying to do. Shoulda coulda woulda.

And they haven't put out one since we were in Australia. Ay, ay, ay. That's where I first heard it. Radiohead, this is an urgent plea. Oh no, oh no, oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We don't wanna go back to Australia. Oh, oh. You wouldn't go back?

Would you go back? I'd go back. I'd go back, it took so long to get there, but it was fun. We were so tired that first day. Yeah. It'd be more fun to go for longer and to fly last Not go to her not go to Perth Yeah, and also I was doing press and I was flying back and forth from city to city while you know, baby We know baby. So I had less fun than you know, if we could go to New Zealand, that would be great, too

Oh, I would love to go to New Zealand. Oh, that's. I was asked to go by a musician I love and Gandalf. Yeah, he's so cute. And they have no strings. His beard. He plucks it like violin strings. That would be cool if Gandalf would take five beard hairs. And just bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling on Twitter and Instagram. Um, and if you want to write, if you want to send a three tre, I think it's three USA at gmail.com. We could use them. We could use them. Put your name in there. We'll say it on the air. Um, but all right,

everyone shut up now and go to sleep. Go to sleep. Good night. Good night. Nine. Wow. It worked. It worked. What do weddings, Instagram, and toxic relationships all have in common? They take your money and you can't get it back. Sixteen grand somewhere in there. Gone. There's no legal solution for the fact that you married an asshole. Welcome to The Dough. I'm ex-Mayo. We're diving into the stories surrounding the moola baby.

The good, the bad, and the unexpected. Yeah, we're talking about it all. The Dough is out now, wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Sam Smith, and welcome to The Pink House. I love being in The Pink House with you. Join me as I talk to my friends and some amazing queer icons about their idea of home, like Elliot Page, Jo Kim Booster, and Gloria Estefan. Music was always my escape. It was my happy place. The Pink House from Lemonada Media is out now. You can listen ad free on Amazon Music

or wherever you get your podcasts.