Threedom - Threevisiting: Lord Help Me Bullsjit Bugs Bummy

Episode Date: December 9, 2025

Threevisiting on the Tues: Lauren, Paul and Scott talk about tongue scrapers, old restaurants, and play a new round of Threevia.  Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Unlock every episode of THREEDOM and THREEMIUM, ad-free, on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Look for the blue box at retailers everywhere or shop JLab.com and use code Threatham for 15% off your order today. Freedom! Freedom Freedom Freedom Should we add freedom Yeah

Welcome to freedom This is the podcast where everything gets potted and nothing gets left on the cutting room floor Should we add yeah

to the end of yelling freedom? Can we or did we? Well, it happened One person did And I'm saying should all of us And should that be a permanent addition to the very end? Let's try it again

okay right okay here we go ready three two one freedom asshole you didn't press play well are you supposed to do it oh jesus christ just just keep doing you know what

this is a great episode an episode for the record books most annoying episode ever hello I'm from the record books I want to think I can do it ready Three, two, one. Three!

I'm not playing this game. I'm not doing this. This is humiliating. Are you not hearing it? Oh, I'm hearing. No, it sounds really fucked up. This is what people need to understand. We're on Zoom, but we need to explain why.

Because we are not trying to be back on Zoom. We are not trying to be back on Zoom. Oh, we are not. That Zoom line. No. We had to be back on Zoom. You know that t-shirt of Bugs Bunny holding a revolver and he says, Lord help me, but it's time to go back on my bullshit.

No, but I have. I need that. Wow. You've never seen that? I feel like I've seen it so much. You've seen that so much. I've only seen it online. I've not seen it like out in the wild on somebody's body.

Should we sell them with us instead of Bugs Bunny doing it? No, because then it's just us holding guns. What's wrong with that? I just love how you can just type anything in it like knows. I wrote, Lord help me bulls, shit, bugs bummy. Bulls. that's the shirt we should sell Lord Helby

Bulls shit Bugs Buzzy Bugs Bummy Lord forgive me but it's time to go back to the old me Okay but I found a I found a Woody version

But I'm back on my bullshit Or Woody Woodie Woodie from Toy Story or Woody Woodie from Cheers? Lord forgive me But I'm back on my bullshit That's back on my bullshit Bugs Bunny is holding a What looks like a Flintlock Pistol from the River

Revolutionary War? Yeah. Hi, everyone. Welcome to freedom. Hi. Hi. I'm Warren. I'm Paul.

And I'm Ted Kaczynski, the Unabomber. Oh, shit, this whole time. Yeah, he's the Unabomber. Was he the Unabomber? I can't remember. Los Otobomber. Yeah, he was. The solo bomber.

He was a huge, he was a huge figure in my, my childhood, I feel. Really? Did he babysit you? Yeah. I went to his cabin a lot. and wrapped packages. I remember I didn't believe in him, but my parents told me

don't spoil it for the other kids. No, see, what it was is that he was a creepy pasta. But in my neighborhood, he had to come to my house and say he was a creepy pasta, but then we got to know him and he was a really good guy.

What was creepy pastas? Hello, I'm a creepy pasta. Yeah. Is he in jail? Oh, you mean Jeff the Killer? Oh, yeah. Jeff the Killer's catchphrase would go to sleep. Go to sleep, right?

Jeff the Killer is a really tall. He's a really tall client. I am. Oh. I'm the creepy pasta now. Look at me. All right. Here's the story, everyone.

Here's the story. To all the piss pigs, I'm very sorry that we're on Zoom this time. But again, the audience chose the name piss pigs. We did not. I was recently exposed to COVID-19. The novel coronavirus? Yes. And guess who?

Guess who has? had it that I was sitting right next to who that may have infected me. Who's this? William Chonnie? This is a no, not Toney. She was sitting on the other side. She may have from the same person. Oh my God.

It's none other than Major Kira Norese herself Nana Visitor from Star Trek Deep Space Nine. Wow. Texted Toney. I almost said Connie. But her name is not Connie. That's a crow. Oh, so it wasn't one of those

like alerts that you got that you had an exposure? I got that later. I got that later. Now, here's what I'm wondering about this. Hmm. Okay, so she texted Tawny. Yes. I have COVID.

Did she, so she, does she take a test and then alert somebody? How do they know to alert the exposure people? This, I here's where I didn't know how this worked either. And Janie kind of figured it out. And I think this must be what it is, is that if you test positive and you put, you put it into your phone if you have that enabled to say, I just tested positive. I got to get that app. And then it will, I think it tracks locations. So it tells you, hey, you were near somebody who just said that they were positive. And now look,

you're scared. I keep getting them from Hawaii. And I haven't been to Hawaii in years. That's very strange. That makes no sense. It's the only alerts I ever get regarding COVID is that Hawaii is telling me someone I've been around has had COVID. Wow. Yeah. But Paul, you're feeling well. I feel fine. I had a, I found out yesterday, took a test negative.

I woke up with a tickle in my throat. That was gone within an hour. I feel totally fine. You just scratched it. You put a pipe cleaner down there? Yeah. Well, I do that in the morning. Well, you shoved a pencil down there.

I shove a, I tie a pencil to a pipe cleaner. And then I erase, erase, erase. all of the disgusting things that get in my throat. That's great. You guys ever use tongue scrapers? No. I love a tongue scraper.

I kind of do too. It kind of, it's like if you go, I went too hard with it like a month ago and I feel like I like wiped off a taste bud. I was like, that hurt.

What can you not taste right now? No, now everything's fine. They grew back. But about a month ago, I scraped it so hard that it was like, it was almost like I'd been burned. Jesus Christ

I had a little fun Don't do that That doesn't sound like fun But you know It also sometimes it's that thing Where it's like the first couple scrapes You're supposed to just do super lightly Kind of get in get out

But sometimes you're like Let's see if I can just get every single Nook and Cranny up in this piece And then suddenly you're like gagging on a piece of metal You know It's like a potato peeler You're just

Just thin slices of tongue coming out Yeah It's great that tongue stuff grows back. Yeah, you know, if you, if you cut off the tip of your tongue, it grows back threefold. Yeah. So if you do it too much, you can't even fit it in your mouth anymore. Yeah.

It's like a fruit by the foot sort of situation. Yeah. I used to love doing it when I was a kid. Yeah. How was the cruise, Paul? The cruise. Okay. So I was on a Star Trek cruise.

I joined Tony News. Tony News. Yeah, we tried to get the boat to. go to space. They built a big ramp in the ocean. Tony Newsom and I joined it halfway through, so we were there for three days and nights. And it was really fun.

Everybody was super nice. I got to meet many of the actors. I got to see many more of them from a distance. From a distance. It was really fun. Yeah. Love be on a boat. The ocean was a little choppy on the way back,

which I loved. You loved it? Yeah, I love it. That's my least favorite thing ever. We've been over this, but I'm not a boat fan. Love them. I don't get motion sickness, so I really, really enjoy it. That's amazing.

Thank you. Why do you think you don't get motion sickness? I think because my center of gravity is impeccable. You have like, well, see, so he had this surgery where he sort of had like a sandbag put into his like between his stomach and his butt. My whole family did that. Yeah. And so it sort of creates this like this sort of rocking motion already that's in there.

I'm a little older than you guys, but that was a common practice back then. Like circumcision. First they circumcised you, then they put the sandbag in. When you say you're a little older than Scott, what do you mean? Like five days? Am I four years older than you? I think I'm four years older. Somewhere on there.

Yeah. Are you really? Yeah. Huh. Did you... I lost track a few years back, I think. We all did, dear. Yeah.

I don't care how old I am. I don't care how old you are. Great. That's what you've been saying your whole life. All right. I've gotten you in a lot of situations. Paul, did you see any... Sea monsters, two.

Only two. But was one, the big one, Nelly? Yes, Nelly. The C monster with the Buster with the Buster with a Band-Aid on her face? Yes. Nessie? Is that who I'm trying to think?

Yes. The Loch Nell monster? Yes. It's just Jody Monster. Chick-a-Pay! Chick-a-Pay! Because here's what I'm asking.

Did you see anyone making any viral videos on board? Because a new Washington Post article I just brought up It says Carnival Cruise Line has a message. I know you just brought it up.

Yeah, that's why we're talking about it. I brought it up on my phone, meaning. Okay. Oh, meaning. Carnival Cruise Line has a message for spring breakers planning to set sail. If you think you can get away with the type of bad behavior that goes viral on social media, think again. Fuck. What are they going to do?

They're bringing on drug sniffing dogs. Were they drug sniffing dogs? Yay! They already have that. You know what? I did. we flew into Mexico so we could join the boat and a drug sniffing dog did come up to me at customs and I want of course all you just want to pet the dog because it's a very sweet looking dog

and he didn't find any drugs in my suitcase and I said sorry to him it would be fun to be a drug sniffing dog because it's like drug smell good right they smell so good isn't it always kind of stressful when like you're walking past like cocaine when you're walking when you're watching Walking past the drug-sniffing dogs and they're like, they're very much like, don't touch them. I feel like I get nervous when they say that, even though I wasn't, I wasn't going to touch the dog. I'm not carrying any drugs. But there's like this feeling of like, don't touch them. And there's like this energy that makes you nervous.

I get nervous just when they come near me, even though I've never, ever had drugs on my suitcase. I just, it's that, it's just that, that cop thing. Can you ask the officers if they can also smell dirty underwear? Yes And what You mean the officers or the dog Either one You're allowed to say to the officer

Can you smell dirty underwear? Are you able to? I know he can smell drugs What about you? What can you smell? If you're underwear If you're underwear is like Bread

If you're underwear is four days old Can you stink it? Can you smell toast driving a stroke? Can I what? I said if your underwear is four days old, can you stink it? Do you sink it? Yes. I have done vaudeville laundry in the hotel sink.

No, I said, can you stink it? Stink it. Like, instead of smell, it was supposed to go under the radar. I wasn't supposed to repeat it again. Oh, I'm so sorry. This is the situation with, no, this is the situation with Zoom. I'm sorry. We could just ignore you if you were in person.

That's what I wanted. No, ignore me on here too. Ignored. Did you, Paul, did you throw anything over the boat? Like anybody. Oh, my God. So many things. Yeah, I, when I'm going to trip like that, I take the clothes I hate the most and then I wear them for the trip and then I throw them overboard as I go.

So then I don't have, I have empty luggage that I can fill with duty-free tequila. Duty-free. Yeah, you hurt me. No duties allowed. Am I saying duty or putty, duty, putty, duty, duty, duty. Duty-pudy, duty, duty. Denny putty, Denny, putty. Denny, putty.

Denny Dr. Um, yeah, so drug, drug sniffing dogs, uh, and then, uh, they're, they're, uh, what else are they going to do? Are they just going to slap phones out of people's hands? Well, I was going to, I was going to throw out another article that I glanced at the headline of, much like what you did here. Okay. Um, Paul said he and Janie are being super safe and sleeping in separate rooms while there's waiting, while he's making sure he doesn't have COVID. Well, here's the thing. We did sleep in the same room last night. So you don't care at all.

We're staying in separate rooms today. Well, we missed each other too much. Of course. But so today you're doing that. Yes. Today we have been in separate rooms all day. Oh, like not sleeping. You're just saying kind of like.

But tonight you're going to. Tonight I am going to sleep in the guest room. Okay. I got a ball of air mattress. I read an article and by that I mean what I said, which is I saw a picture of a headline. No, that's what reading means now. We all know. The article was about people married couples having their own bedrooms.

Have we talked about this? I don't know. We may have talked about it a while ago, like if we would ever want to do that. And I definitely see the appeal of it. I knew a guy back in my improv days who was a bit older. So he was like married and have like a life, you know. And he and his wife had separate bedrooms. I remember going to their house.

And I thought that was so interesting. He had her room Yeah, well his room did have like, you know, his toys and things Because you know all you guys like your toys She had a high heel shoe bed It was like his personality And hers was like her personality And then you know they go in one room to fuck I assume

And a separate just sex room like 50 shades of gray No I think they'd have sex in her room Because it was the more adult room And the bed was bigger She didn't want to look at action figures while she fucked Probably not. Well, because they're looking at you. Yeah.

With their dead eyes. They have opinions. Did I read their, they're throwing away 60,000 funco pops in a landfill? What, this couple of Warren's talking about? Why are they throwing them away? Because they didn't sell, they didn't sell them. Just sell for a dollar. What are they?

Why don't they ship them to the poor countries in Africa? Like they do the World Series winners that were wrong. and all the t-shirts two t-shirts all the t-shirts of things that didn't happen that's why we have the Mandela effect that exactly

we're talking about separate bedrooms and did that seem at the time did that seem very strange to you oh well still I still want to hear what the funco toy was oh I don't know I think they're grogoos aka baby Yoda are you fucking that's crazy that won't sell yeah right

I know, the Grogu was the picture on the article. But at the time I thought, they got you. I didn't think it was, well, I didn't think it was normal. I'd never seen that before, but I didn't think, I didn't have a judgment against it. I wasn't like, you know what I mean? I just was sort of like, oh, I've never seen anyone do that. But I thought it was interesting because I also didn't know, you know, I hadn't been to a lot of like homes of like 30 somethings at that time. So it was kind of interesting just like get a little.

glimpse of that. But I also noticed a handful of people I know were liking and reposting that. And I was like, I'm curious if people have separate rooms. If we had like a huge house, I could see doing that. Janie would never go for it though. Yeah. I sort of like, I know, I feel like when we're like

working, like Mike's been shooting a movie and he's got a lot of night shoots where like he has to see. That's the time. when I think about it. Somebody has to be up super early, you know. So we've been doing that. He'll sleep in the guest room because it's like he gets home at 5 a.m. And he has to sleep.

And then meanwhile, we would all be waking him up, you know, if he was up in the room. So what we've been doing lately is because we have the baby monitor on is like I can, I wake up for anything. Here's the problem. So occasionally Emerald's babbles in the middle of the night for, you know, 10 minutes before she goes back to sleep. just blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, right? What's she talking about? Is she possessed? Yeah, pretty much.

That's what I would soon. I mean, we tried to get her possessed when she was born. I think it took. Okay. But, so she babbles. So on the nights where I'm supposed to have the baby monitor on and like half, you know, sleeping, half, you know, checking to see if anything's going on. I can wake up really easily. Here's my issue.

I can't go back to sleep. So this morning, three, four, babbling, that's the end of it. I'm up, right? That's really hard. So, conversely, Kulap won't wake up because of the baby monitor. So now she's been sleeping in Emerald's room. So she can hear it.

And then also to give me some sleep on the nights where I'm not supposed to be paying attention. So that's sort of like maybe every other night we've been in separate room. you know, so I don't know. Yeah. That's one solution we're trying right now. Yeah, we did some of that with, um, with baby, early baby stuff, too, of like just letting someone sleep longer. So go in the other room so you can actually sleep.

But this is a totally different thing. This is like you have your own style. You have your own decor. I don't like my style. Yeah. I mean, everyone knows you a bad style. Even you don't like it. You're like, this sucks.

I hate this. Everything I chose. I can't choose good things. I've accepted it. You just choose it. That's great. Clothes, decor, choose it all for me. Wow.

That's a relief. It's a blessing to not have to worry about that shit anymore. Well, it's the Michael Kor's thing of like, I'm always going to wear a black suit jacket and a black t-shirt and whatever. And so he wears the exact same thing every single day. I love that. And eating the same thing every day. I would love that.

He eats the same thing every day? No, I just, that's a separate topic. If I could eat the same thing every day, I would do that. I just saw a clip of someone else saying to eat the same thing every day. But I'm not totally opposed to that. If it was something really good. But you know what? Even that's not true.

That's not true. I think I used to be like that and I'm not like that anymore. I think I could very easily do that because I eat, you know, for dinner, that's when I probably want to mix it up the most. But for breakfast and lunch, I eat strictly from hunger. It's just like I want to not be hungry anymore. And I could, I could without thinking about it. I eat the same thing every...

Yeah. I mean, I eat the same thing for breakfast every single day. Me too. Although I mix it up on the weekends. Okay. Get a little crazy. Yeah, I make myself

a little breakfast sandwich. What do you eat every day? Oh, yeah, we have talked to what your breakfast sandwiches because that's... They're famous. That's impressive. Yeah. Thank you.

Yeah. We talked about them. What's... I just remember being... We don't want to re-talk about something we've talked about. Who gives a shit? I make, give you what? You make it.

It's handheld. An egg is involved. Is it like a full egg? The egg just watches. Yep. And then two pieces of bread? That's right. Untoasted.

I love it. Egg in the shell, two pieces of white bread. Sounds delicious. And every morning you have. Yes, it hurts my mouth. It's hard to bite into. the shell scrapes by the roof of my mouth. No, I make a, I make a scrapple, egg, and cheese sandwich on an English muffin.

Wow. I was taking breakfast orders for a while. And then after a while, you're like, I take breakfast orders from no one. Cool up sister lived with us for a year. And during the pandemic, right? Yeah, during the pandemic. In the walls? Yeah, bad Ronald style.

Ronald McDonald's. bad. He's not good. He's in the walls. She lived with us for a year during the pandemic. And so for a while, I was like taking breakfast orders of like, how do you want your eggs and doing them however everyone wanted. I think that lasted three weeks. And then I was like, you're on your own. Three weeks is a long time to be doing that for people. That's a long time. Absolutely. It seemed like a fun thing to do in the middle of the pandemic. And then it just got to be such a drag to do. Yeah, of course. Tells me, I can't work in a diner as a fry cook. Aw, but if you're getting paid, maybe you could. Maybe. I should see if they would pay me to do it. If you're a diner, if you're a fried cook and a diner, you're also behind a wall with just a little slim opening where people can't really see what you're doing. So you could do anything. Oh my God, you have COVID.

I got COVID. Sounds like you have COVID. It just arrived. I just got it. I feel like when I make eggs in the morning, if I'm going to offer them to Mike, then I'm like, what kind of eggs do you want? How many do you want?

And then I'm just making that style. But it's usually going to be scram. We're just going to go across the board. I'm not going to be doing different orders for different people. I was doing different orders for everyone. Yeah. Everyone wants some like Kool-up would be like, I want an omelet with cheddar cheese, this, this, and this.

Oh, that's a full order. And then, yeah, her sister would be like, oh, I want eggs over easy with this, this, this. It just was too much. Jesus. For three weeks you did that. I know. Can you believe it? Even if they ordered the same every day, doing that for three weeks is a lot.

Yeah. That's what I figured out. But it sounded fun to me when I started. Well, you're nice. You're nice, Scott. You're a really good guy. All right. We have to take a break.

Uh-oh, the fashion police are here. Can you hear those sirens? Yeah, I can. Boy, they're here. to lock me up for what I'm wearing. I can get you out of this situation. On bail? Even better.

I won't have to go to fashion jail in the first place. Oh, a pardon? If you listen to me. Fashion pardon? You'll get a fashion pardon. Okay, I'm listening. It starts like this. Cold mornings, holiday plans.

This is when you need your wardrobe to just work. That's why I'm all about, for you, quince. They make it easy to look sharp, feel good, and find gifts that last. I have gotten some quince. I'm not wearing it right now, which is why I think the fashion police are here. Yeah, you should be wearing it. I will say quince makes the essentials that every guy needs, right? Mongolian cashmere sweaters for only, guess how much?

$50? Yeah, exactly, $50. I got it. Italian wool coats that look and feel designer and denim and chinos that fit just right. Here's the thing. Each piece is made from premium materials by trusted factories that meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship and ethical production. By cutting out middlemen and traditional markups, Quince delivers the same quality as luxury brands at,

if you're a math fan, a fraction of the price. Do you mean like five-fourths where it costs more? No, no, no, the good one. Oh, the good fractions, okay. It's everything you actually want to wear built to hold up season after season, after season, after season. I got some stuff from Quince, Paul. You're going to be very proud of me.

I already am. I got the Mongolian Kashmir Kru neck sweater. Nice. I'm a big fan of that. It's great for when you want to feel coat. but still look, you know, at your best. I wear it all the time. And honestly, I would wear it even more

if my wife weren't borrowing it all the time. Girl, I hear you. My wife keeps stealing my quince items. I have a wonderful soft cashmere hoodie that I got from them. Oh. And she has claimed it as her own, which is honestly very aggravating. My wife has also been going into our bank accounts

and stealing money from my own bank account that I have kept secret. And I'm really concerned about that. My wife has literally taken food out of my mouth. Oh, no. Like, I put a forkful of food on my mouth and she's taking it out of it. That's the right amount as far as I'm concerned. A forkful.

That's how I eat food by the forkful. Exactly. Anyway, get your wardrobe sorted and your gift list handled with Quince. Don't wait. Go to quince.com slash freedom for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. That's Q-U-I-N-S-S-E. C.E.com slash freedom.

Free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash freedom. Hey, don't let an overpriced phone bill ruin your holiday mood. Who are you? I'm sorry, I'm the ghost of Christmas Mintmobile. Oh, okay. No, Christmas Mintmobile died?

Well, right now, Mintmobile has all of their unlimited plans at 50% off. That's half. That's a huge amount. You can get three, six, or 12 months of unlimited premium wireless for $15 a month. It's their biggest deal of the year. And the perfect moment to politely, or not so politely, give your old wireless bill the Scrooge treatment. You know what I'm saying, where you use scarab and turn them nice.

Yeah, exactly. That's what Scrooge did. Now let me ask you a question. Are all MintMobil plans coming with high-speed data and unlimited talk and text on the nation's largest 5G network? Paul, you know that that is correct. Now, I wish that passed me, Christmas past you? Christmas passed me, knew about Mint Mobile earlier because I could have saved so much money over the years. But thankfully, Christmas present me knows about Mint Mobile and I'm saving money now, right?

So, you know, switching for my old providers helped me save hundreds. And when I say hundreds, I don't mean hundreds of, you know, breadcrumbs. I'm talking about dollars. Oh, that's better. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and you know what those savings mean?

More Christmas presents under the tree. Yeah, so don't miss it. Mint Mobile's best deal of the year. It's happening right now. Turn your expensive wireless present into a huge wireless savings future by switching to Mint. Shop Mint Unlimited Plans at MintMobile.com slash freedom.

That's mintmobile.com slash freedom. Paul, what do you got to say to that? I just want to piggyback on what you're saying, a limited time offer, up front payment, $45 for three months, $90 for six months, or $180 for 12-month plan required $15 per month equivalent taxes of fees extra initial plan term only greater than 35 gbb may slow when network is busy capable device gigabytes capable device required availability speed and coverage varies cementmobile.com

and we're back oh great we're back we're back and uh it is great it's great um I just took ho to a little birthday party for a child and it was so adorable and we were at train what is it what's it called travel town it's so cute travel town it's so cute i've never been there because i guess i don't know why i would end up there but now from what i hear from the other patrons is that there's birthday parties there all the time so it sounds like a place i'll be going to quite a lot absolutely it's it's very adorable. I loved it. It was so cute. It's in, it's in

Griffith Park here in L.A. is that? Yeah, and it's like there's these huge trains that are just sitting there, like old style. Like bigger than normal trains? You know what? They're so close up, they seem bigger. You don't normally get to walk that close to a train.

That's right. That's right. They're so close up. And then there's a train that you get to ride around a loop twice. And it's very adorable. And it was really cute. Holly loved it. And they give you, they had little like goodie bags

with like, engineer hats and bandanas and whistles. It was just very charming. And then one thing that I thought was very interesting is as you're riding the train around the loop, there's so there's the highways right there on the outside of the thing. And then there's a little sliver

that's fenced in where people are writing horses. That's like the width of a horse. And then there's like the traffic on the other side of them. So there's like this lane in the middle of the highway that's like for people to ride horses. I just found that very interesting. Horses famously chill animals. I'm sure they love that part. Yes.

Just being surrounded by whizzing cars. I bet they just they're in heaven. Yeah. I used to go hiking there and it was always like a sign of, oh, wow, I've gotten this far when you would get to the part where you would see the train tracks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the horsey signs. Yeah. Um, I've seen the horses from far, but it was interesting to be on the inside looking out.

And, um, it was delightful. And I also, you know, it's one of those things. I feel like, Scott, I'm curious when, uh, you'll feel this because you're still early in with Emerald. Yeah, we haven't gone to any person. She doesn't need to go to a lot of places. But I feel like now Holly is at a point because she can walk around that I'm like, she needs to see some stuff. So like, even if I'm really tired, I'm like, we're going to the thing. You know, it's like, we're going to whatever thing I have planned will be accomplished that. day because I want her to see something and experience something and, you know. Whether she wants to or not. Yeah. We sometimes try to walk around with her. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, but at this point. Yeah. No, but she doesn't have like that pent up energy where she like needs to run around. You know, so she's not crawling at, right? So it's like, no, she has the pent up energy where she wants to like sort of stand up and wave her arms and go. That is the best. She's been making nuts up.

What's the noise? I can't hear it. It's so high pitch we can't hear you. Take it down an octave. I have to go. I'm terrified. It's like. That's cute.

It's like kissing. It's so funny that on the screen, it just looks like. Why can you not hear this? I don't know. It's silent. Here's what it looks like to me. She goes like this. Yeah, you're like, making the face.

She goes like, yeah. And it sounds just like, it sounds just like this thing with Donald Duck. It's scary. Donald Duck, uh, energy. She got, oh, she's got big D.D. She's got D.E. I've never been able to do the Donald Duck noise. I've never tried and I'm not going to try now.

Let's all try once. Come on. There, I were speaking. Yeah. You, so, so, sure, sure, sure. Hello? Did I do it? Four score at seven years ago.

You sound just like him when he made that speech. A lot of people don't know Donald Duck made that speech, and everyone attributes it to honest Abe Lincoln. Well, fair enough, Abe wrote the speech. Oh, yeah. That's true. But he was too chicken shit to deliver it. He was too shy, actually.

Yeah, he was our shyest. president. That's why he had the big hat so he could pull it over his head. Exactly. People would come up to say, Mr. President, Mr. President, he would go, ooh, and he pulled the hat down. And then they invented turtlenecks, and he could just do it with that. Let me, oh, and then he died.

Then he died right the day after turtlenecks came out. John Wilkes booth pulled his turtleneck up and tied a nod in it, and he suffocated. Wow. It's what, here's, let me tie some things together. The first time I encountered, a person doing the Donald Duck voice was when I was a little kid

and my father worked on the railroad and I saw him. All the live long day? All the live long day. But he did it just to pass the time away. He did not get paid. I was at his work at the train yard. Was it fun to go to work with your dad? I hated it anytime I had to go.

I thought it was cool. I was, you know, I like trains and I thought it was really neat. And to see where, it was like seeing where the trains lived, you know what I mean? Yeah. And so you introduced. Like being at the train's house. Yeah. And train makes you take your shoes off.

Which is weird. There's no carpet. It doesn't take its wheels off. No. When it comes to my house, no. And my father introduced me to one of his colleagues. And he said that he introduced this man as duckie. And then he said, you know why they call me duckie?

And I said, of course, no. I've just fucking met you, idiot. But if I had to guess, it's because you are a duck. And then he did the Donald Duck voice. And I remember being amazed at that. Wow. Wow. You know, it must be nice to, like, not be in the entertainment industry.

And you could just do one little thing and you get a whole nickname for it. Yeah. Like, we're expected to do so much. Be hilarious. Sing, dance. if I'm gonna get a nickname incredible actors award winning actors I know I have to be like I have to be a quadruple threat yeah take our stand-upsets and transcribe them into a book yeah but I wonder I don't know that he necessarily got the nickname because he did the voice he may have gotten the nickname first and then he was like well I can also do this yeah but but the whole question is who would choose that do you know do you know why I'm called yeah and then he did the voice he said that to me I'm a kid. I'm sure there was a filthy reason they called him duck.

Oh, okay. Because he always would put the Pringles in the duck lip formation and then shuck a bee. Yeah. Threw him. Duck lick. Doug lip formation ladies. Dug. Dug.

Ducks. Lick dicks. Ducks. Ducks. Duck lips. Lick dick. Okay. Now I'm ready to do hamblet.

That's when you, when you're doing your. American Idol audition and you're backstage. Yeah. Panicking. I like the idea of hamburger hamlet. It's the hamburger. It's the hamburger hamlet helper hand. Doing Hamlet.

And he's doing Hamlet. Yeah. That would be great. And he's amazing. It's weird that that hasn't happened yet. And people don't know there used to be a restaurant in Los Angeles called the hamburger hamlet. Yes.

Are there any still? I don't know if there are any left. Yeah. Should we make t-shirts that have the hamburger helper hand saying to be or not to be? Yeah, of course we should. Yeah, okay, good. Yeah, because it's like a huge thing for us. Yeah.

Our friend used to work at the hamburger hamlet on Hollywood Boulevard across the street from the Chinese theater. That's right. Was it like a fast food or like a sort of sit-down? It's a sit-down place that's specialized in hamburgers, really delicious hamburgers. a lot of like frisco style sourdough red yeah it was really

what's a frisco hamburger it's gay it's gay and hilly gay and hilly gay and hilly and it's colder than you think

is that your impression of San Francisco I've always felt it's exactly as cold as I've thought it would be I think it's always it's always really cold, but I think if you've never been there, you would think it's not going to be cold. For a long time, I would forget how, when I started going up there regularly for stand-up and stuff like that, I would always forget how cold it would be, no matter what the time of year was. Yeah.

And I always ended up, like, buying a scarf. Yeah. And that's why you have 8,000 scarves. That's right. And that's why I'm making my own quilt, the COVID quilt. And they're all San Francisco 49er scarves. That's right. That's what I would always buy.

Oh, man. Now, the hamburger hamlet, I've told this story before. That's where I got my ID checks. I got carded. And, you know, I was born in 1968. And the server said, oh, 1968, the Summer of Love. No. I said, actually, I think the Summer of Love was 1967.

And she went, no, it's 1968. And I said, well, you know what they say? If you can remember the 60s, you weren't really there. And she said, I was really there. And I remember. It was 1968. Wow. She got mad at me.

And then what is the truth? 1967. Yeah. I hope she's dead now. 68. MLK was assassinated. RFK was assassinated. Like, 1968 was not the summer of love.

No, but don't you think it should be 69. Of course. Of course. They should have waited. They didn't know. Okay. We're having a really good time right now. Let's put it off for two years.

Yeah, like they're realizing early June. They're like, this is getting good. They're like, let's go through some hard things together. Make sure we really want this. Let's reschedule all of our orgies, all of our LSD soaked orgies for another couple years. Yeah. But also Hamburger Hamlet was where Dean Martin used to go for dinner.

I think every night of his life. in the last years of his life. Really? Really? When he was just like a withered shell. Bob Hope used to go to Bob's big boy. That's right. Well, that's a little on the nose.

And he was like, that's my ass. Yeah. I'm a big boy, too. He thought that the statue of the big boy was him. Yeah. There I am. If you had to like go to a place a lot of times like that, what would you pick? Like if you're like, you're old and you're like, you have your L.A. sort of restaurant.

like for vibe or food or a combo it's just what why do you think they chose those places I don't know I mean because they feel very old school so it's kind of like yeah it's yeah it's like reminiscent of their their when they were growing up and times were good and all that and they weren't old pieces of shit that's so depressing what's so depressing being old yeah I think being old and reminiscing about the times when you were young why Why is it... Wait, you're just going to accept his theory? Yeah.

Why is it they make 50s diners, but they don't make 60s diners. They don't make 70s. Like, there are diners that are reminiscent of the 70s, but it's just they haven't updated them. Yeah. It's like, come on. Let's, let's do nostalgic, let's do 80s diners, 90s diners, 2000s. Why don't they make any colonial themed diners? There's not a lot.

There's not enough orange and brown happening, I would say. I really like the orange and brown combo. And I remember my Dunkin, really? No, why? I grew up in the 70s and everything was orange and brown. We have talked about this. I find it kind of comforting. I find it comforting too.

For that reason. I like the aesthetic personally. But my Dunkin' Donuts growing up was definitely like probably in 80s Dunkin' Donuts or something. I don't know when Duncan Donuts started. But it had a sort of seven. It was brown. 173. So it was the 70s.

That's right. General Ulysses S. Grant himself went to Dunkin' Donuts every day. He dunked the first one. In a basketball hoop. He had the shakes from drinking. Ben Afflex coffee. Yeah. I'm looking up when Duncan was founded.

I, okay. Well, Duncan was. Can we guess? Can we guess? Can we guess? Can we guess. Yeah. okay i'm gonna get i'm gonna have you okay i have a little quiz for you i have a few it just popped up a bunch of different places the one they were founded so i'll we'll do a little quiz okay duncan

when was it founded it's a very straightforward quiz it is wait you just said duncan what Duncan donuts but it sound called Duncan oh meaning when okay do what is this quiz which one was do me to do just what's happening when it was you said I have a quiz for you and you said one word Duncan Because you know What is the quiz? You're guessing when it was found It's what we were already talking about

You said don't tell me And then I said I have other ones here Because it popped up all these other Okay, you have other business Well how about I do? Which one came first? I'll do that.

Okay, Duncan or Krispy Cream? Oh, Duncan, obviously. I'm going to bet Krispy Cream came first. What? Okay. Yeah. I would say Paul is right. Now, do you want to guess years?

Paul? Yes. For Kris cream. I only started hearing about Krispy Cream like in 2000. Oh, in the North perhaps. But in the South. It was in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

A popper bagger came through here one day. Yeah, Winston-Salem. I'm going to say 1961. For Krispy Kreme? Sweetie Pie. Krispy Kreme's 1937. And Duncan,

1950, and Mitch's hometown of Quincy Mass. Wow, I was going to say 60. for Duncan, but Krispy K I should have guessed earlier because that like spelling it with a K for no reason is very much of that that error. And two K's is so

close to three K's. You wouldn't get away with it now. Okay, let's do these two against each other. Okay. 7-Eleven, which came first, 7-Eleven or Tim Hortens. 7-Eleven. 7-Eleven or Tim Hortens? God.

This is a good, I don't, you know, I didn't know anything about Tim Horton still I started going to Canada it's so huge there there's so many of them but there's so many 711s so 711s were only open from 7 to 11 but Tim Hortons I don't know I'm going to go Tim Hortons Tim Hortons was open from Tim to Hortons

You got your Tim, you got your Hortons Okay 711 was founded in 1927 Wow Jesus wow And Tim Hortons was 1964 These aren't even close I know But isn't it fun how you think there

Okay, how about these two These are very close Okay Chick-fil-A Okay, these are very close I'm going to guess I'm going to ask you to guess Which decade it was in

Chick-fil-A and Baskin Robbins Oh, wow I'm going to say Were they both in the same decade? They're in the same decade I'm going to guess 70s I'm going to say 60s. 40s.

Chick-fil-A, 1946. Baskin-Robins, 1945. Wow. Isn't that crazy? It would be so fun to go to Chick-fil-A for lunch and then go to Baskin-Robbins for dessert after. Yeah. Oh, my God.

That would be so cool. That would be so fun. And you would say to both the people behind the counter, both at both establishments, you'd say, this was established in the 40s. Yeah. You wouldn't, you wouldn't even believe it. Yeah.

And you would say, and at the second place, at Baskin-Rombs, you would say, I also said this at Chick-Fillay. And at Chick-Flea, you would say, I'm also going to tell this to Baskin-Robins. Yeah. And then they would probably talk to each other. They would probably call each other up and be like, did some weird kid just come in here? Hey, look out. A weird kid is on his way. He may be armed.

I might have to go to fucking Krispy Cream after this because this sounds so good right now. How would that happen? Like, can you just take up? I would get in the car. You can just take off during the day, not telling them. I would take Holly with me. Wow. We'd go over to the Burbank Empire Center.

Leave Mike. He's working fucking every night. How many donuts can you eat before you feel absolutely disgusting and full of self-loathing? Oh, my God. Half of one. I would say two is where I start to go. You got to really calm it down. I think I can get there after one.

after one. One is where I go, let's be real. That was enough. We've been starting the hack of cutting the donuts into like eight pieces because you really only want, like you see them all in one minute. Yeah. Yeah. You see them all and you're like, I want to try every single one.

But you really only want to taste a one. And they all taste exactly the same. The thing for me is donuts as a sweet treat, donuts are never fully worth it. They're not fully worth it. Like a piece of cake or a piece of. pie, some ice cream. But that's why crispy cream is different because they're heated. It's not that different, though.

But when you get that melted your mouth, okay, my high school had this thing. And I had never heard of crispy cream, but then in my high school, there was like a thing where it was like you could buy a box of crispy cream and they would be delivered on a certain day. They'd get like a hundred million boxes because everyone bought them. Yeah. And you'd get your own box. And then that would be.

Like a dozen donuts? Yeah. Yeah, I would just scarf them down. I mean, I wouldn't eat 12 in a. sitting but I'd eat three and then I take him home and then and then you really ate eight probably I take him home and then I put him in the microwave you put him in the microwave for like exactly you're gonna eat eight you're gonna eat eight you put him in the microwave for exactly six seconds right and it's like like is that how long

was on that bucking bronco I believe that was eight oh that was eight okay I don't know the reference it's a very niche reference actually this movie was not a Smash it. There was a, Luke Perry started in a, um, a rodeo movie, uh, called eight seconds, because that's the amount of time you have to last, I believe, on the horse. That's like the, it throws you off before, before you can get off of it. Isn't that it? It's like, if you can last eight seconds, you can jump off because you've lasted as long as, isn't that? Isn't it? Or is eight seconds the minimum? I don't know. I think eight seconds is the minimum. Yeah. In order to, in order to, in order to qualify.

So has anyone been on one for like, like three hours? Any one of us? Yeah. Not me. I have. Oh, wait a minute. I have. The longest I've gone is 90 minutes.

The longest I've gone is like two and a half hours and my brain fell out of my head. Oh. What I do, the way I do it is I take a book to read. So the time is passing by. Yeah. Yeah. I usually plug in my iPad on top of its head. Yeah.

Yeah, so you're not focused on it. Yeah. Yeah. In the horns of the horse, yeah. Yeah. Did you think people? The devil horn. Where were we talking about?

Oh, don't. Wait, it. There's eight seconds on a horse, but then there's also bull riders, right? I thought it was a bull. I thought it was a bull. I don't know. I don't know how long those guys have to stay up there. They should cut it in half.

The, whatever it is, cut it in half. The time and the bull. Yeah. lengthwise? If you stay up there for five seconds, then they cut the bull in half. And they're like, which half do you want? You did it. They're like, this is my bowl.

No, this is my bowl. Cut the bull in half. That's right. A king comes out. Yeah. Would you cut it lengthwise like a hot dog? Yeah. I cut it diagonally.

Hmm. Good. Nobody just wants an ass. Connect four style. Pretty sneaky, sis. We all agreed. I don't think donuts are a good treat. Although if you're craving one, I don't want to harsh your craving right now.

You're not going to change what I feel. Don't do it. Okay. Really? Yeah. If I'm really going to use those calories, I'm going to, like, do it like caviar and the finest champagne. Yeah. I mean, look.

The finest champagne. I start my day with eggs with caviar on top. Yes. And I end it with. Caviar sandwich. Yeah. End it with a caviar sandwich and. Caviar McMuffin. Champagne.

Caviar Dagwood. And then it's just a gigantic... Every other layer is caviar. It's pastrami. It's a roasted turkey. It's a black forest ham. Nice. Okay, we have to take a break.

I don't care. I don't care either. And actually, I'm not even going to take one. You're the one who cares. I'm going to keep the episode going while this goes to break. Lauren, I'm going to keep talking. I'm actually going to tell Paul something really important. Now.

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And that's why they called it The Spanish Prisoner. Puppy love. Puppy love. And they called it puppy love. I think I saw Donnie Osmond to sing that on the Donnie and Marie show. when I was a child

When I was but a wee child That was an era of siblings Singing together Unlike any we've ever seen since Yes who do we have now The Avet brothers Are they even brothers Jonas brothers

Are they even together anymore? Yeah they are They were recently doing a performance Oh yeah What about One Direction They were all related by blood but that's this is still yeah they were all created in a lab but this is different

I'm talking about brother sister standing on stage singing a little ditty brother and sister feels very rare like I don't know if anybody is doing that these days there's got to be somebody out there I got to ask a question sure is this part of the episode or are we just talking you motherfucker this is part of the episode part of the episode part of the episode because it's supposed to be doing a three-cher and no one has found one I was looking at the document as I was speaking to you. Yeah. It's called doing two things at once.

Women can multitask. It's true. Oh, wait, listen. And I did hear your shade that you just threw, but we just got some new questions for the three via, that trivia game where we have to know things about each other. Oh, sure, sure. Do you want to try it again?

Here is what I was thinking. Do we have enough for the three, sure? I mean, look. Here's what I was thinking is we should do the old questions and see if we can remember. Oh, my God. I like that idea. I'm sure we can.

Oh, no, these are great. These are great. Do you want me to lead the game? Yeah. Why don't you do it? Okay, so you guys just get your, get a piece of paper. If this is your first episode of freedom, basically, we've talked and talked and told the same, told the same stories over and over again.

And we're, a listener has compiled. some trivia questions about stories we've talked about on previous episodes to see if the three of us can remember anything that we've talked about on previous episodes. Okay, so the first round is Scott question. So Scott, just write down the true answer, as you know it. And Paul and I will do the same thing trying to guess. One, what two sports did Scott's parents make him participate in against his will when he was a child?

I know this. I know this. this is a two parter what if you get one do you get let's say that's just worth two points and you get one point per okay got it why don't we make it half a point because the other people the other people only get you know five sure sure sure yeah i don't want you guys having an advantage over me to get like suddenly you have six points and i can only get that's a great point scott's roommate the i have parties guy had a friend with an unusual nickname. What was that nickname?

Ducky. Okay. What musician did Scott risk getting fired to see at Disneyland when he worked there? Oh. Oh, wait, I sort of remember this. These are good questions. I know them all. Okay.

Ready? Yep. One of Scott's former bosses was seen drunk crying whilst wearing an all-yellow outfit. What hilarious question did his co-worker ask after witnessing this. I know this one. Classic. This is a classic.

And the final question. As a teenager, Scott called into a radio show as Popeye to tell jokes. What was the name of the show? Bonus, who was the host? Oh, shit. Oh, and each person has a bonus question. So I would say that the show was not called this. The segment was called this.

okay and then the um yeah and then the and the host um the okay yeah okay okay do you want to give us the answers yeah or do you want to go on okay well we'll get why don't we guess first yeah okay yeah right exactly yeah okay paul what two sports did scott's parents make him participate in against his well one was baseball yes and the other was dance dance I said baseball and soccer Baseball is correct You each get half a point The other one was gymnastics

Christian Gymnastics That's yes Christian gymnastics Okay All right What was I have parties Friends nickname I said

Go ahead Fridge Fridge Yeah, that's right. Okay, what musician did Scott risk getting fired? I don't know. I don't believe I ever asked. Okay.

What musician did Scott Ross getting fired to see a Disneyland when he worked there? Paul? I said Billy Joel. I said. Can you imagine? I said you too. Was it David Bowie? No, it was Roy Orbison.

Oh, right. 50s themed. This is 1988. They were doing a 50s-themed concert series and where several luminaries of the 50s were playing concerts, and Roy Orbison, to me, was a big... See, I forgot that it was at. I thought you were going to get fired from Disneyland.

Right, right. Okay, what was the thing said to the all-yellow outfit crying person? Lauren. Why is that banana crying? I said, who bruised the banana? Oh, yes. Who bruised the banana is correct because of the mascara running down her phone. Oh, damn it.

Dark mascara, yellow, total yellow sweats that she was wearing. I got banana right. You did. Oh, I pictured it as a yellow dress. She was wearing yellow sweatshirt and yellow sweatshets. Yeah. It's such a funny thing to say. Okay.

And as a teenager, you called into pop to tell jokes as Popeye. What was the name of the radio show? And who was the host? I said it was Friday Funnys with Finley Farrington. I said it was morning zoo with Buzzy. It was the boogie line with Bruce Fidel.

There's no way we would know that. I know. That's too tough. Okay. What was the bonus? Who was the host? The host, okay. Okay. All right. I got one and a half points.

I have 0.5. It is time for the Lauren round. Oh, boy. Oh, my God. It's so funny to have these questions written. It's just hilarious. Okay. In what country did Lauren have the first?

The first cherry she ever ate. I do not remember this at all. But it was another country. That's the hint. All right. Why did you never eat a show? Okay. We can get into that later.

What are you had like a bunch of questions on a game show? Okay. In Lauren's first ever appearance on the Comedy Bang Bang podcast, who was the special guest? Oh, shit. Jesus. I don't know. I'm not sure if I'm going to get it right. Okay, I think it's

I think it's that person Okay Why can't I think of his last name Oh should I give you a hint Okay Oh shit what's his name Whatever, okay Three, what did the Evanston police officer

Give Lauren after crossing paths With her the third time Oh yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Okay Right, right I do sort of remember this, but I think I got it wrong. But anyway.

Oh, okay. I'm getting, this next one, I'm sort of getting credit for something Paul kind of did. What delicious treat did Lauren bring into the Threatham Studio for Scott's birthday? We did it together, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But this is almost a question about me. Yeah. Gross.

That's true. It's kind of getting in my, it's infringing on my moment. It's giving stolen valor. What movie did Lauren go see When she slipped on the restroom floor And suffered a concussion When you were a kid? Yeah, yeah

And then bonus, with whom did she go see the movie? I have to Okay Okay Oh yeah, okay Okay, what country did I have my first cherry? I'm going to say Italy I said Greece

It was Italy And I had just never had one And then we picked them off a tree And it was amazing Wow Nice Can't believe What a sensual memory

It was sensual I was 16 I could see that in an independent film About coming of age Totally Who was the guest on my first CBB Scott Do you remember?

I said Mark Maren. I have no idea. Yes, special. I said, um, Adam Brody. That is correct. Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm.

Okay. Amazing. Were you happy to see him? I don't remember. Uh, could I, did I get a boner? Yeah. Um, no, I was, of course I was happy to see him. He's a, he's a wonderful actor.

Um, okay. Who, what, I didn't know what I was doing, by the way. I had no idea what was going on and I didn't know what was happening. So I was just excited to get through the moment. What did the Evanston police officer give me the third time we crossed paths? Scott? This is tough because I first said trading card and then I changed it to phone number. I said trading card.

What's your final answer, Scott? Trading card. Yeah, fuck you. That is the answer. Thank you. It's not fair. Okay. What delicious.

What delicious treat did we have for Scott's birthday? What a millionaire worked that way? I know. I should have said your final answer was not that. Of course, it was whipped cream and chocolate chips. Yeah, obviously. And then what was the movie that I hit my head on the floor before I got to release? I said it was Goonies and you saw it with Josh Brolin.

Oh, I said House 2, the second story with Adam Brody. No. The movie was Ladybugs, starring Rodney, Dangerfield. And I saw it with my dad and brother. Well, I didn't see much of it. Okay. Okay. Now. I'm going to give myself half a point for trading cards. So I'm going to say I have two and a half. Great. Thanks for your honesty. Paul, how much do you have? I have one, two, three. And then, uh, from before you had from before I have one and a half. So I have four and a half. Four and a half. Four and a half. And you're locked at four and a half because the next round is about you. So I only have, I need to get four in order to tie. Two to tie, two and a half to win. Okay. Let's go, people. All right. Here we go. According to Paul, what alternative name should he have based on how he looks?

What? Oh my God. It's been mentioned a couple times actually. It has? Yeah. Damn it. Okay. Can we each have two guesses?

And then we get a half point of, okay. Okay. Paul erroneously referred to the movie Last Vegas by another title. What was that title? There's a movie Last Vegas? Yes. And you referred to it? I know what?

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. these are very obscure my questions had more facts but okay um these these are facts i mean well i mean it's things you said but it's not like like it's like mine was like what treat to be had for scott's birthday who was on the first episode you know that kind of thing you could just know that but this is a fact well you could just know something that i said from we discussed it yeah okay three paul's mom had a reception job i'm sorry receptionist job at his uncle's business what was that business?

Uncle's, oh, God, we were just talking about your dad's train business. That's what we all call it, his train business. Just make a guess. We got to move it on. All right. Okay. Four, what book did Paul read that helped him quit smoking for good? I can never remember.

You can barely remember the title of this. Me? Yeah, right? No, he says it regularly. Uh, okay. I know, like, a better question would be, how did Paul quit smoking? And I would go, he read this book. Yeah.

I can't remember the title of. And you'd volunteer that information. Five. Paul comes from a family of six children. Where is Paul in the birth order? Bonus, how many cousins did he have living next door? Okay. Right.

In the birth order. right right how much do we get for the bonus by the way is that an extra it's just one one so it's one and one so it's six points total we can got it how many cousins do you have living next door okay are we ready yep ready according to paul what alternative name should he have based on how he looks i guessed the most handsome and gorgeous gentleman who ever lived. Wow. I guessed Roger.

The name I think I should have is Dennis J. Peacock. Oh, shit. I did know that. Dennis J. Peacock. I did know that. Okay, so I really got to get all the rest of these right in order to have a standing, a fighting chance.

Okay. What was the other title? Last Vegas was, he said another title, What was that title? I said Vegas, baby. I don't know. I said goodbye, Vegas. The answer, of course, is old Vegas.

Nice. Because it was about old men going to Las Vegas. And I was complaining that old Vegas isn't really a play on anything. And that's why they didn't do it. Yeah, exactly. That's why they called Last Vegas, which is a play on something. I didn't know that that was called Last Vegas. The only thing I remember about that is the Entertainment Weekly interview where

Morgan Freeman said that he would allow a director to tell him to speed up or slow down. And that's the only thing a director would ever say to him. That's right. Crazy. Okay. Paul's mom had a receptionist job at his uncle's business. What was that business? Butt plugs.

Piano business. Piano tuning. Lauren is correct. Piano tuning. What? I got one. Oh, all right. I got to pull this out with, honestly,

the only chance I have is the last question. Okay, what book did Paul help, or did Paul read that helped him quit smoking for good? Hey, Dennis J. Peacock, stop smoking. Okay, how to quit smoking. I don't know. How to quit smoking. I feel like it was just called how to quit.

What an odd thing. I truly did not know it until I wrote that down. I think it was called How to Quit Smoking or you can quit smoking. How to Quit Smoking? I actually think it was called that. I don't know if I can accept an answer with or something in it. How to quit smoking. What I actually wrote down was how to quit smoking in 15 minutes.

But that's insane. It's a book. At the end of the book, it's like, and go. Yeah. The easy way to stop smoking by Alan Carr. Damn it. And if anyone out there wants to stop smoking, this book work like a charm for me. I highly recommend it.

Okay. I'm going to say it again. I'm going to say it again. The easy way to stop smoking by Alan Carr. Okay. All right. If I get both of these right, I can tie. Where is Paul in the birth order of six kids?

I said six. I said fifth. Scott, you are incorrect. Lauren, you're correct. Nice. I knew it was five or six. If I had been the baby, I would not even know. you guys because I've gotten all the attention I needed. That's true. Okay. And how many cousins

lived next door? I said five. I said four. Seven. Damn. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got none of Pauls. Okay. What's everyone's final score? Two and a half. Two and a half. Four and a half. You win. Again. Oh, you won last time. Yes, I did. I would say if I had, well, I would say if I had to guess. I would say Paul has the best memory. I still do have a pretty decent memory. It's true. He does. That was really fun. I love that game.

I want to just give a shout out. The game is created by Nathan Diffy and he I think he might have just added new ones because it doesn't say, but if someone did and I'm wrong and please let me know. And Nathan Diffy, of course, very talented artist who does all my...

It was submitted by Lee Hockstein. Those questions were submitted by Lee Hawkinson. Thank you, Lee. That was so amazing. And please submit more of those. Those are hilarious. I was going to say Nathan Diffy is a very talented artist who does all of my posters.

Lee Hoxstein, I don't know shit about you. But thank you for submitting those questions. That was a lot of fun. That was really fun. Yeah, we need to know one fact. And then we can play a trivia game about it. By the way, when you're submitting these three terms, put one fact about yourself. Yeah.

Why not? Yeah. And then in the future games, we have to give the answers to the one fact about each of those people. And it can either be a fun fact or it can be a sad fact. Yes. No middle ground. No, nothing in between.

No. No, just random fact. No, just like, I have brown hair. Yeah. It's got to be either fun or sad. Well, guys, is that it? Yeah, we did it. Yeah, we did it.

I thought it was great. I had a great time. If you would like to send us a three-church, write to ThreatMUSA at gmail.com, you can also call us at the phone number hag claims eight um you can follow us on the socials at three them USA and don't spell eight right it's that's right it's the number eight hag claims the number eight and uh if you want to listen to ad free versions of the show you can do so on stitcher premium or on cbbbworld dot com listen by the way listen listen to all the ads that we record we we spent so much time trying to perfect them and rehearsing them

yeah yeah yeah yeah so like a lot of time Matt, a producer will write to us and say, hey, could you do this ad? And we'll say, Matt, we've recorded the ads way in advance on professional equipment and took great care with them. So we definitely don't need to do a voice memo on our phones.

And sometimes, no, no, of course. We'll workshop them out of town for a while. Yeah. Well, because sometimes he'll say, hey, this brand reached out. Are you guys interested in? We'll say, let us get together and rehearse a few times, like what we might say if we were to do an ad for them,

see if it feels natural and then we'll kind of get on the horn and let you know. Yeah. We have a storage space that we rent that we use as kind of a lab for the products where we will all go and sample whatever it is together.

We give it like two or three hours and then we are able to really feel the ads. So do listen to those ads. Do listen. Yes. Please check out the ads because they are so, so, so well rehearsed. And also I would love to just give a shout out

March 22nd. Paul and I are doing a show for Dynasty Typewriters' fifth anniversary. We are doing a two-person improv show. And you can get tickets to the live stream or in person on DynastyTyperator.com. That's right. We're looking forward to it. It's going to be a lot of fun. When does this come out?

I'm sorry, Scott. Thursday. Thursday. Thursday, Thursday. Listen, there's still some tickets left for my show. If I don't have COVID, Sunday, March 12th at Loddrum and Highland Park. It's going to be a special St. Patrick's Day. uh version of riotopia we're going to do uh irish music um we have great uh great musical

guest and great comedy guests it's going to be a lot of fun that's fun and i want to shout out i have a copy of it the comedy bang bang bang oh shit look at that scott's showing it to us you guys i was going to show it to you when you came over but it's gorgeous wow it looks beautiful that's so exciting wow look at it's really good in it i can't wait to see it Dang, it looks really cool. It looks really cool. If you want to buy it, go to Comedy Bang BangWorld.com slash book.

And I just want to say The History of the World Part 2 premiered on Hulu and I'm in the first episode. It was a four-night event and tonight is the last night of the four-night event. Well, catch up and watch the first...

Oh, is that why people keep posting about it? Guys, we love you. We love our piss pigs, especially the Where's the Beef Lady? Yes, I'm a very pet. This big Clara Beller. Rest in power. Rest in piss.

Rest in power piss. Oh, my God. Rest and power piss. R-I-B-B. Rest in power piss, Clara Peller. Oh, we'll see you. Bye. Bye.

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