Threedom - Threevisiting: Mommy Oh No Please Queen

Episode Date: September 19, 2023

Threevisiting on the Tues: The Threedom Boys discuss funny voices, an open letter to theme parks and play 60 Seconds Alphabet. Threedom Theme Brushy One String Remix by @Juiceone3 on Twitter. Follow us on social media @threedomusa. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail]. Leave us a voicemail at 424-252-4678 (HAG-CLAIMS-8).

SREETO! HUSH SREETO! Ding dong! SREETO! Who's there? It's SREETO. Oh, it's SREETO. I am SREETO. It is them SREETO MOIS.

Them SREETO MOIS are all back in here. And we are the entertain y'all folks. Did you hear them freedom boys is coming to town? Well, well, well, well. Do it, well, well. Do it. Did you hear them freedom boys going to come around town and gonna make a big stick?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gonna make a big stick. Make a big stick and the freedom boys. Ooh, I got some coffee. I'm gonna drink it. Hi, welcome to the freedom. I've got some coffee and I'm gonna drink it. I'm gonna, I got some coffee. I'm gonna drink it. Hi. Welcome to the freedom I've got some coffee and I'm gonna drink it. I'll call it I'm Lord I got to go be an I'm under it. I got to go be an I'm under it. I got to go be an I'm

Lauren Lapkes. I guess where we in I'm under it I got in there. Yeah Hi everyone. Welcome to the show. We are your day. Please respond in this silence. Great. Good day. Good for you. By the way, if you have a remix of our theme song, please send it to us. We played that one one. We played that one one. And we would love to hear another one.

Tanner, somebody Tanner. One, four, two, nine, seven. Lucas Tanner. I had a roommate named Tanner. Two four six, oh one. Two four six, oh one. Tanner, four, one, five. You had a roommate named Tanner.

What did he do? He was in theater school with me, and he was a great guy. He was my roommate. And he had a weird thing where he was only cast in non-human parts. The entire time he was in school. So he was like one of the, he was the monkey and Wizard of Oz. He was the monkey. Yeah. Well, you could only afford it like a woman.

A man, a man, a man. For a stage production. It's me, monkey and the thousand standing behind you. Just out of sight. and the thousand standing behind you. They're right behind your side. And then he was a cow and into the woods, and then he was a demon in Jesus Christ Superstar. Can you look up the monkeys from Wizard of Oz like the original?

Where are they now? You just wanna see what they look like? Yeah, because I'm kind of like not remembering. Did we say the last person who was alive and in Wizard of Oz just died? Is that true? So they were people and masks and like, things?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause in my mind I kind of thought it was a real long day. They had masks and head things. I remember the monkeys really creeping me out, but only on the third time I watched it, cause they used to play it once a year when I was a kid on CBS, I think.

For what reason, like a holiday or like... No, just like this is the time of year that we play Wizard of Oz. Yeah, they would do that with certain movies. It was like the day of three channels, where... It was like kind of like that a lot. Yeah, well, that communal thing. I was also thinking about the other day about how advertising,

how easy it was back then, you just put on a TV commercial and everyone in the world would see it. Yes. You know what I mean? And now I was watching commercials the other day and I was like gonna reference something when I was talking to Cool Up and I was like, who knows if she's even seen this commercial

because she's not watching the particular thing that I'm watching, you know what I mean? No, but she also probably hadn't been born yet. What? She hadn't been born the other day. You guys have separate rooms that you watch separate rooms. I can't watch TV now I she I we were both catching up on a show and she I got really tired and I went to bed I'm really tired

Corn camp and I and I think she stayed up till like two in the morning and watched six or seven more episodes Veronica stayed up until like two in the morning and watched six or seven more episodes. And the show was called Veronica Maher. I know, it was something like that. Oh my god, with Kristie Alley, I love that show. And her closet. Huh? Oh my god, can we see the opening theme of that? To what? Veronica's closet?

Yeah. Okay. Did it have an opening theme? It must have had something. Every show did back then. Well, no, that was around the time when they were stopping that practice. Yeah, there's Wally Langham. Okay, was this song?

Oh, shit. Oh my God, she's like modeling. And all the Victoria's Secret Models. Dead Cortans! Oh my God. Wally Langham. Kristi Alley was so beautiful. She was. I loved her so much. I had a gigantic crush on her in cheers. I loved her.

She's so funny. She's so beautiful and funny. And look at him. Captain Jimmy hilarious. I love this opening. This is nuts. They had to all really go for it. I thought they all hated each other nuts. They had to all really go for it.

I thought they all hated each other too. Like, you know how like since friends, the friends were the only friends who actually made friends on the show. Yeah, that's the same creators. You know, but like, the history of television. Well, I think so. They were the only, no.

Usually there's like one person that everyone in the cast dislikes, isn't it? And I think that's often the case. That's most often the case. Look at like a Will and Grace. They all love I think that's often the case. That's most often the case. Look at like a Will and Grace. They all love you. They all probably love you.

Yeah, but. You have a great time. Look at bajillion dollar properties. But then they make these people dance around. What about the ones that are around? They make these people dance around like early. Yeah, early on. And they probably all hate each other, but they're all goofing around and laughing.

No, like they don't hate each other yet. They probably all hate each other. They probably do, don't they? No, they hate each other by like, episode 10, and then they're like watching this opening, oh my god, I can't believe we're here. If any of you were on Veronica's closet, please let us know if you all hated each other. I would like to know.

I do. I do. There's this thing, I want to talk about this because in the credits, I guess the comedic character danced around and then fell, and it was supposed to be fun. You like she tripped and fell. Okay, so here's something that I've been noticing and I was watching, what's that?

CBS, she'll love Ireland. And the host of that does this thing where it's like, where you cast someone and Jenny McCarthy was the first person to do this, as I recall. You cast someone who's as hot as a model, but then, and then she does what a model does, like, like, blowing her hair and doing a slow motion walk, but then she trips.

Yeah. And that's funny. And it's like, and she's like, and that's funny. It's the tiredest thing. It's also, like, in a lot of romcoms, you'll see this, like,

both rom andar comedy. It's more yeah, better more broad. Like we'll feature like a super hot lady just falling down. Falling down. Falling down. Terri Hatcher and Desperate Housewives. That's I think she did it a few times. Really?

And that and then it became like Rebecca Romaine and her pilot. She was like fall fell into a trash can. Because I think it's like being like, I love Lucy or something. And it's like, no, not really. You also have to like be funny. Yeah. You can't just fall into a trash can. Like you, be funny right now.

I fall into a trash can. And you just stay there. But it's weird. It's, it is my home now. The birds flying around my head. It's annoying that it's, it's still happening. Like it's still happening. It's really basic. It's with it. It's annoying that it's still happening. Like it's still happening. It's still happening and people are fine with it.

It's basic. They're fine with it because the person doing it is hot. Okay. So you just go, well they're hot and cares. Like you just don't care. You don't like it. I guess I'm the one watching Love Island instead of a real comedy.

So I guess that is. You know why I love it? I love it. Is it supposed to be a comedy? No, no, no, but they, but they, they try to be funny. No, they, well, the, the narrow, okay. So here's what I comedy. Here's what I could glean from it

because it's very popular. The infused humor. It's very popular overseas. Oh, it's huge. It's very popular overseas, but there's a Scottish narrow island. Yeah. There's a, well, you're watching the UK version?

No, no, I'm watching the US, but from what I could understand from what I read is there in the UK version, there's a Scottish narrator. He sounds like a person. He's like, oh, I can do that. Everyone thinks it's very, very funny. Oh, look out. Don't fall down. Yeah.

You have to interactive. So that's a stand up right. You haven't seen it. No. That actually is really accurate. So in this version, like America's funny, his videos. Yeah, he just right. You haven't seen it? No. That actually is really accurate. So in this version, it's like America's funny, it's videos. Yeah, he just like makes tux shit over it.

It is, yeah. So in this version, they cast a new person. And it's a comedy. Who is doing the voice now? 2-2-7 is a comedy. I know 2-2-7 is a comedy. So I think they cast someone who's not a comedian,

but he's, and then he sounds like he's reading written stuff, you know, in a way. So but they've gone for sort of more of a like a guy dishing on stuff kind of thing. Like there's like here's someone. Here's the other thing that I don't like about. Anytime anyone on the show gets a text,

he goes send, which i think is game uh... leedman's thing oh do you feel like uh... there's there's there ripping them off yeah that actually it's on somebody receives a text or someone sends it someone on the show receives a tax they have to make a big deal of it out of it and go up i got a tax uh... actually they might do that in the old one because it the premise is like that the narrator is sending them that. Yes, but he's saying it. He'll read it a lot and then say send.

No, no, no, the narrator says speaking of which, I have something for these people, send. I have to look at the UK one and see. Okay, see if he says send. Yeah, if he were to say, I think people are ripping off Gabe's send. No, I would think that too. A lot these days. Yeah. It's these days. Yeah.

It's almost like Richard Lewis. Oh, you know what? People started doing send tweet. Yeah. As if that was not exactly the same thing. Yeah. Yeah, can't let it rip off Gabe. Don't rip off Gabe.

What's Richard Lewis? From hell. From hell. He was the first person in his act to ever say from hell. Like, this is the thing from hell. Oh. And it was like everyone would laugh just at him saying, like this is the thing from hell. It was like everyone would laugh, just did him saying the,

she's the girlfriend from hell. Just the thought of that was really funny to people. He invented that. He invented it. He did. It doesn't like, it doesn't nothing now because it's so, It's everyone said it,

and it's basic. Yeah. It's become basic. But wow, to create something. You know what's so amazing? This woman, do you see online, the woman who created the gender reveal party. Did you see this? Oh, no, I'm laughing because I thought of a thing too late to say in response to oh

Say it right now. We'll edit it in Yeah, that's how we make the show. Yeah, that's how we always like three days later come back in the studio Oh people don't realize there's a lot of post-production So set me up again, you know, it's so amazing three days later, come back in the studio. Oh, people don't realize there's a lot of post-production. And I just go on, chicken on the corn. On the cornfield. So set me up again. You know what's so amazing. You know what's so amazing? Spider-Man.

Yes. You know what's so spectacular? Spider-Man? You know what's so friendly neighborhood? Spider-Man. Did you see the woman who essentially accidentally created the gender reveal party? How did she actually do it?

She was the first person to do it. And she, or the first person to post online, her gender reveal party where she probably had sorts of props and things. Like three assholes there. Or like the like, you know, the, like, you know, the different ways you can reveal it, like something exploding or like the cake having

something inside it or whatever. Oh. She posted it and it became a viral thing and then people started doing it and she now says she regrets. Like she, she didn't have any idea that it would become a big thing but she regrets it and the girl, the baby girl who was born from the first gender reveal party prefers to her suits and she basically was like we shouldn't like start things out this way. For the watch suits. Because of basically was like, we shouldn't like start things out this way. First to watch suits. Because of Megan Merkel.

First. That basically she just was like, I regret kind of starting this trend and making you see to better, like gender your baby is. That's cool. She invented the gender reveal party. She has some regrets. She's so, she just said it. That was one of them and then it listed like three other regrets. She cheated on her husband. They're like, look, if we're gonna talk about one of your regrets, we got to talk about all of them.

She didn't invest in Apple when she had the chance. She broke down a little. Did she do like, so she did the cake icing inside where it is. Oh, it's so basic looking too. It looks like a Pinterest fail. It looks like a nail that can't get into a buyer in it. It truly, it really looks horrible. It looks like a nail that came. It's getting to go viral in it. It truly, it really looks horrible. It looks like a weird baby. Gettin' in the cake. In the cake, peep.

Pink, frosting, gender of your baby. Kid, do it, or a baby. Really, everybody's humming around. Everybody's humming around. And I thought that was pretty interesting. Humming. She just was like, this is how you mean it was. I'm saying, somebody is having around.

So I did the gender reveal party. Everybody's having a really. At the time, because we didn't live in 2019 and didn't know what we know now that is signing focus on gender. What if she lived in 2019? What if she lived in 2019? What if she lived in 2019? What if she lived in 2019?

What if she lived in 2019? What if she lived in 2019? What if she lived in 2019? What if she lived in 2019? What if she lived in 2019? What if she lived in 2019? What if she lived in 2019? What if she lived in 2019? What if she lived in 2019? their legs to shoot on her face. Oh man. Yeah. It's cool. It's cool. It's kind of nice to have like the person go, hey, oops. It's very, it's very well, too.

Yeah. It's not like, Scoldy, it's just like, this is what I've learned as a fucking human being on the planet. Yeah, she posts a picture with her family and her team. Oh, look at that dog. Look at that dog. Look at that little dog. I like that dog.

I gotta say, she's hot. The mom? Yeah. She's big. She's big. I'd bang her. Oh, dear. I don't look up this picture.

And let us know if you would bang her. And I'm talking about that dog. And I'm talking about that dog. Oh, that dog. Oh, that dog. I'm gonna get with that dog. Love that that dog. I gotta get with that dog. I love that you give a pop-up. I love that dog with the little thighs.

You. There are little side dogs. There are none of entertainers with weird voices anymore. Like Dr. John died? Well, you got Dr. John, you got Wolfman Jack, but also, look at that guy. Mr. H, the guy we were just doing earlier. Pat Boucher, Pat Boucher.

Like, if you have a funny voice, you should be famous, right? Who's got the weirdest voice right now? Yeah, I'm trying to think of anyone, any entertainer who just coasts on a weird voice. Paul Rudd. Aquafina. Was like Polly Shore the last one? But even, yeah.

Polly Shore, but that was more of an affected manner of speech. Well you can't tell me that. Sheaven has pulled up the most distinctive voices in Hollywood. No do like weird voices. Jack Nicholson. Hi everybody. Who has the most annoying voice? What have all three of us killed? Oh shit. I'm trying to think I thought of someone recently where I was like, are they putting that on?

That had to have been gold when you discovered like, wait a minute, I can do a funny voice. No one else has ever done. Oh yeah. You know, man, I wish I could do one that doesn't deserve it. Gober God-free'd. He's one, yeah.

He's someone's putting on a thing. No, because then we, yeah, but they saw her, even that, every one of them. Everyone's putting on a thing. I don't know about that for you, Gilbert. You think he always talk like this? I think so.

I doubt it. Gilbert got in like that. There's like some documentary he's in, and he uses his normal, oh no, it's actually Howard Stern clips that I looked up online. But there's a documentary where he just, yeah. He's a regularly, he did Bang Bang once.

He was a normal guy. He just talks normal. Yeah, I was like, hi Gilbert. It's so great to have you. And he's like, hi, it's so good to see you. That's just confusing. I'm saving it up for when I'm in the show. And then when he was on the show, he was like,

Hi! Oh, it must be tiring to do that. Yeah, of course. It'll make your head hurt. You may be hurt right now. My head hurt. Derek, why was Bo Derek in there? Bo Derek voices and Bo Derek. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, what is this list?

What is this list? People with distinctive voices. Bo Derek. Bo Derek, I can think of two things more distinctive than her voice. She should be Scott. You think you could pick her tits out in the lineup? Yeah. I don't think so.

I'll look to the lineup. Whoa. I'm a regular guy. One day you'll convince us of that. Not today. Any pot. Any pots? Any pots has a good voice.

Hey everybody. What do you love to be Arthur Michael Dorn? Lynn Thigpen sure sure Lynn Thigpen And Godfrey's 18 under bowdarek. I'm Casey Kason and I'm on save by the bell. I'm Casey He was on say by the bell this week. What did he ever want? I assume he played himself Yeah, he's not like a detective or something. He's 18. Well, you know what I realized about

say by the bell? He mentioned is like, say by the bell is written, but was written by like older white guys who, like in the 90s, they were like, Niskar Harajay. Niskar Harajay. For the 50s. And they were like,

that's what the unsaid by the bell, they always sing like 50 songs and like Casey Kason. But it's like they, it was like they were really not hip with the times. And they did, and things looked. Right, and they did not care. No, but they did not give a shit. That was like at the end of when 50's nostalgia was cool

because you have the peach pit on Beverly Hills 90210. And even when I was watching, I was like, these darks go to a 50's diner. But that's like, because the people writing it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, they're all like people who are 50 when they were right. Right. So whatever age you're in, you're nostalgic for that decade.

Totally. So right now, I love the 40s. I love the 30s. Paul, you're in your happy days period. That's why you dressed as the fans today. Yes, look, it's late periodons with the black t-shirt. Yes. And to start the theme song, you hit that computer.

Did you guys... Bang the computer. I need to be plugged in. I have sex with a computer. Have you ever been jacked in? Have you ever been jacked up and jacked off? The three jacks. Did you ever... Jack, what about me? The four jacks. Did you ever do it about me before jacks?

Did you guys ever do it before? Jake's more alive. Forget it, the two jokes. It's two shut it down. Did you ever do April Richardson saved by the bell podcast? You know we had her and raised by TV and we talked about that. That's right, that's what was my essentially. It was the only time I'd ever watched that show.

I watched an episode. Me too. I had done a couple episodes of that show and it would make me mad how shitty it was. Oh yeah, but I watched that. But everything is shitty when you're a kid and you don't know it. I know, but I watched that a lot.

I watched it when you're a kid and you don't know. Well, the stuff you like is all shit. Yeah, you don't realize how bad it is. Yeah, Scooby Doo, terrible. But I've seen every episode of Save of the Bell a hundred times. Like I've watched it up until I started doing raised by TV and it started to become not as fun for me anymore. It's a job.

Well, it became less like, like hanging out with us. It became less like, curling up with a good book. Yeah. To watch my shitty shows and now it feels like, I'm going to talk to about it a lot, but yeah, I would watch that stuff like just to make myself feel better, like all the time. And like also, I was watching a lot of years. Watches the whatever that Bob Sackett show is. Full house, yeah.

Fuller, fuller. No, she watches Fuller House. I tried to watch that. She'll just watch that just as comfort food. Yeah, yeah. I totally get it. Yeah. I watch food as comfort food.

Yeah. I just watch a steak. I'll make up a big meat loaf, and then I'll just look at it. What do you feel about shows about food? Like, I don't really get that excited to watch that. I don't get into them, no. Yeah.

I thought that. I thought that the only thing that I watched like that. Yeah. I thought that about Top Chef. I was like, look, a singing competition you're hearing beautiful music. La la la la. A dancing show you're watching beautiful dancing.

La la la la. But a cooking show, you can't taste it. So how, but I guess the look of the look of the look of the look of looking at food. The look of food is so appetizing. And people like to feel how to cook. I think some people watch it because they get tips or get inspired to make something or try something.

Yes. I've learned how to make several amuse bushes. You know what I like watching it more. A variety of watching cooking show is the top chef, junior. Oh, is that enough watching it more of I had to watch a cooking show is the top chef, Junior. Oh, yeah, I'm, yeah, maybe I tried that. When the kids know how to make some of them, like, who are you?

Yeah, I realized the problem that I have with, with shows like that, even like, I remember watching, like a season of top chef, I remember watching a couple seasons of project runway, the problem that I have with those shows, the thing I like about it is people are making a thing. They're like, they're contributing to society. Well, there's skilled people who are making something and it's cool.

It's cool. But it's the personalities of the contestants. It's the reality show aspect of it, which maybe they've backed off of more, but a lot of the people I just found so irritating, it made it hard for me to watch. I like the first episode of Top Chef where Tom Collique, like I didn't know who Tom was

or how well respect to he was or whatever. So it was just the very first episode. This guy's kind of smarting off to him in the very first day or something. And Tom's like, get the fuck outta here. And it was just so like, oh shit. This guy, you know, he's not playing into it for the cameras. He's like, give me the respect I deserve.

To let me the host isn't go, get the fuck out of here. Yeah, that'd be so cool. I wanna do it right now. Yeah, it's both of you guys. All right, bye. Oh, he's running the laps. Where'd you get that little car? At Little Ford.

Um, how do you guys heard the new Fuller House theme song? No. I'm off for only I just got an email of an offer. What? What is it? What is it? Scott, this is exciting. By the way, after our spam call, our conversation, I know like five of them. Like, I'm getting so many.

Yeah. Well, if you say spam, your phone picks up. No. They start calling you. But I feel like somebody like signed me up. Did it? Siri. Spam. Siri, spam me. Siri. Spam me on a up. Siri spam. Siri spam me.

Siri. spammy amadayas. spammy amadayas. spammy amadayas. I'm a dais! Chicken in the corn camp. Chicken in the corn camp. I'm a daios.

I'm a dais. Chicken in the corn camp. I'm the chicken in the corn camp. I'm the chicken in the corn camp. Chicken in the cork cap. The chicken in the cork cap. Oh, the chicken in the cork cap. Chicken in the cork cap. Oh my goodness, family. We've gone insane already. We've gone insane.

It's having fun. We're just having fun. We have to stick a break. Okay, bye. Bye. Bye. And we're back. I like being back. I like it because it's better than being in front. I like being back, yeah.

So it's good. By the way, I like being back. I got a massage the other day. Yeah, I was being in backs. Oh, okay. I did do somebody rotate that. That's where it starts. This is a week ago. My shoulder's still hurt from it.

Isn't that, should that be what the massage is curing? Well, you know, I had this thought the other day about how when I used to get massages before I ever started working out and I would get bruised from the massages and I was thinking, I was gonna prove this. It would be like, is it because I had a lot of muscles? It was not like you were going to the same bruises.

Yeah, it was just because it was so hard, I would leave it in like later, I'd have bruises. And, but it doesn't happen to me now, because I'm like, I probably had no muscle at all. But is that a thing? Well, they're a people who bruises easily. I mean, they bruise easily as it is, but I don't get bruised from misogies.

Can I poke you and just see if you miss? Yes. Okay, here you go. What is this? Smurgeon of Venice? Why do you poke me in my butt hole? Can I poke you and see if you... BOOM! So when tweeted in the Instagram, said it was a butthole weird. Yeah, I saw that. Butthole. I don't... I was like, how do I see it? I said I'm crashing. I said, I was like, when did I say butthole on crashing? Who now?

You said butthole on crashing? Apparently. I when did I say butthole on crashing? Who knew? You said butthole on crashing? Apparently. I'd love to say butthole on crashing. Why don't you watch it? This is something else weird too. Yeah, they did this in the way. They said some other odd thing. Oh, well, yes, they did because this person

was tagged me in something that Jason Minsky just said on how did this get made about and they used the R word and they said, it was like, there were so many things happening. I was like, leave me out of this. Like, and he was talking about, he was joking that I look like the girl from Spider-Man 3.

Which haven't we talked about it on this show? I feel like we talked about how you look like the girl in Spider-Man 3. Really? Yeah, I feel like we have, yeah. Her name is... What did you say? The Jaina Tova.

The Jaina? The Jaina Tova. I feel like we have, yeah. What did you say? Vagina? Vagina tova. But then I was like, I think this girl thought I really was inspir- I think she didn't get any of that. She didn't get Jack, she had two. Weren't you in big eyes, too? Yeah, I wasn't big. They made a sequel to big eyes?

Big eyes, too. Hey, wait, aren't we reviewing it? Big eyes, too. I don't know, go on, go on, go on. Whoa, whoa, whoa, reviewing it? Big eyes too. On a corn cob. Oh, wow, wow, she's got big eyes, baby. She's got big eyes, baby. Put her in a painting of corn cobs. What's the most disappointing thing you've ever seen

that you had built up a lot of anticipation? We're like, I was just thinking of the Mona Lisa. I can tell you that. I feel like I've talked about it though. Oh what? Can I get a spanking waiver? Can I finish? We've stopped the spankings but can I get a waiver? Yeah, we have unfrozenly.

Was it egg creams? Egg creams? Have I talked about it? What is it? Egg creams, yes. I don't know what you mean. I don't know what an egg cream is. I read this book what you mean. You I think we have much Yeah, I read this I read this book

Okay, so when I grew up I grew up in in suburban Orange County, California Where we sat around by the campfire playing harmonica And I felt I thought everyone lived like me Other than like maybe 5% of the population who lived in a city or whatever, or the 1% of people in the world who were down on their luck or whatever. But I thought, the world was up,

because everyone, all youth literature, and the 1% of people who were down on their lives. That's literally what I thought. That's what I mean. Yeah, that's what I mean. It's like, I just had no conception because all of you fiction and all of like movies were ET and stuff. It just yeah, depicting your life. Depicting my life. The Hardy boys. You have a friend. You saw mysteries. Sure. I was

living my own choose your own adventure book and I chose it every day. You went to make 62. So, so but I read I read this book called the Old Neighborhood, which is all about New York City and about a guy who like grew up, got a big important job, but like pined for the old neighborhood, so he quits his important job and starts, starts his own like, not mulch up, but like his own corner, Brooklyn, so to fountain, kind of store,

because he just loved egg creams and he missed the real egg cream. And I was like, oh my God, if I ever go to New York, I got to get an egg cream because no one ever sold them anywhere in California. So we went to New York when I was 12 and I insisted on going to a place and getting an egg cream. I've never been more disgusted in my life. They're disgusting.

Yeah, yeah. It's chocolate syrup and soda water. Yeah. It, yeah. It's chocolate syrup and soda water. Yeah, yeah, it's terrible. It's not good. It sounds disgusting. When you hear egg cream, you think like, I don't know, eggs? Eggs? Well, because eggs are a chocolate game.

You hear that word cream? Milt. And you think that's going to take care of egg cream. Milt is a chocolate cream. It starts creamy and good. Cream. Cream. Egg cream.

Egg cream. Four slices. Do you like chocolate cream? What about you, Paul? You ever have a buildup? I never build up. I'm going to say, not the first thing that comes to mind is not something that I had never experienced and then was disappointed by, but something that I had experienced as a child and was excited to revisit. And was. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh is sick and weird. He is sick and weird. He was two things you are. He is sick. Number one is sick and number two is weird. Weird Scott Ockermann strikes again. Six Scott as I call him. Sick, a weirder man as I tweeted.

Oh, as I tweeted. Oh, as I tweeted. As I Instagram tech. I'm gonna write a book called As I Lay Tweeting and it's gonna be like a fucking send up. Was smooth. It's gonna be a smooth parody. A by as I lie dying. I think it's gonna be like a fucking send up. Was smooth? It's gonna be a smooth parody of Eyes I Lie Dying.

And it's gonna be so freaking good. It's gonna be so millennial. What is it? Eyes I Lie Dying? I don't know, fuck her or some shit. Tell us your story. Welcome back, hotter. Welcome back, hotter.

Welcome back, hotter. You dealt with that. You dealt with that. And then it was in syndication when I was an adult and I could not believe how terrible it was. Yeah, I was astonished. Mr. Cotter, everything. And they repeat, well, you would-

They repeat things that are not funny. If you watched it, great success. If you watched it and they didn't say those things, you would be very disappointed. So, you know what I mean? Like, if you watched Welcome Back Cotter and you were like, oh, I hope they say, Mr. Cotter, when it was watching it, no.

Well, yeah, yeah, yes. But that's like watching SNL when I was 14 or whatever. If Eddie Murphy didn't say I'm Gumby Dammit or whatever, you would go like, well, that episode wasn't very good. No, he didn't say I'm Gumby Dammit. And he was in the Gumby costume. He was there. Why wouldn't he say that?

Well, who is he? He was just an extra as't he say that? He didn't say that. Well, who is he? He was just an extra as Gumbi in the scene. Some catchphrases like how did they ever get popular? I'm Gumbi Dammit. That one's obvious, because that time hadn't been done before to take a children's character and turn nuts and such a nasty one.

Gumbi didn't swear. Gumbi never would. What do you have to know about Gumbi is he did not swear. Gumbi is one of the tweekiest shows to revisit. It's crazy. It's so strange. I don't think I've ever seen a bit of... It's real grubby.

Oh, give me a Gumby clip. When I was 14, I like gum... Oh, give me a Gumby clip. Gumby fever was like really popular in 1984. Yeah, I went out and got a Gumby t-shirt. And I got an actual Gumby and Pokey and I had them. I think it was because of Eddie Murphy, wasn't it? It might have been, yeah.

Yeah. So like I wore a Gumby shirt to school and I was very excited about it. The three shirts that I can remember being very excited about were Gumby. And we'll all go on the table to the shirts we were excited about. Okay.

Gumby, I went out and I had to find it at a Spencer's Gifts and I got it. Star Wars, I got a star, they only had a small selection of Star Wars shirts at Mervins when I was a kid and I had the one with Luke and Leia shooting. And I remember I wore that to school and everyone was like, oh, you're in love with her. Because like if you ever brought a lunch box or wore a shirt with a woman on it, then you were in love with her. Which is to be made fun of. Which is to be made fun of. Which is to be made fun a woman on it, then you were in love with her.

Right. Which is to be made to be true. Sure, yeah. I wasn't in love with her. That was unfortunately this me had a toured love affair. Turn around. And then it's right behind me is it? Yeah, it actually looks like my furious at you. My shirt. I got it.

Wait, turn around, back up me. I'll never get this lighting just so. Oh, I'll never get this lighting just so this what you get this lighting just oh this we use it my third shirt It's not gonna was I'll try Ghostbusters Did it in it then it so I got a shirt that said It was the phrase from it dammit hi, I'm ghostbusters That's right. He has no dick

It was something about like back off man. I'm a ghost. This one said back off man, I'm a ghost bus. Oh, it had the end. But to your point, several of the kids were like, that's not what they say in the movie. He says back off man, I'm a scientist. Oh, you were fool.

You were made a fool. I just felt terrible. You were laughing, stop. I was a levy. The levy suck of the whole high school. Gumby clip. Look how druggy this is. We're watching Gumby.

He looks like he's not well. Gumby's going up. Gumby's going up into a spaceship. His legs are all bloopies. I feel like he was sick in this one. Yeah. Gumby's flying a spaceship. This one's like real OG Gumby.

They go to the moon. It's really, why does Gumby do this though? What does Gumby want? Gumby wants to learn he wants adventure. He wants to discover But why you need to know about gumby god damn it Scott is it all about his parents? Oh, okay His parents are very absent and they don't realize he's gone for long stretches of time. Gamby lives.

So, do you have parents? Yes, he does. He goes to the fucking moon and his dad finds out by looking through a telescope. What? Yes. I wish I could do that. I wish I could watch the whole series. I wish I could go to the moon.

But when his dad looked at me. He finally, I thought he already said that. I thought he already said that. You don't want to go to the moon. Yes, we did. I was the only one who wanted to go. I would never go. You would never go to the moon. I don't want to go to the moon. Yes, we did. I was the only one who wanted to go. I would never go. You would never go to the, I don't like going on roller coasters.

We've already talked about this at length. I went to, What's the about roller coasters? I went to Disneyland the other day. By the way, I went to, on that Star Wars ride. Yeah. Thumbs down. Oh no, why is it so bad?

Because it's one of those new, please theme park, stop making open letter, open letter. Yeah, open letter. Okay, so I letter, open letter? Yeah, open letter. Okay, so I have one of Scott's famous open letters. Here we go. Who gets the open letters theme song? I think you know what here it is. Yeah.

You really gotta keep that open on your phone. There's an open letter for you Big and pop and pop and pop That's a fucking dip Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh I am very angry. I'm Eddie Vanner. Here's my open letter. I'm Eddie Vanner. I play my ukulele all the way. Eddie, here's a different open letter. Eddie, I want to make the show with you. An open letter with Eddie Vanner from Eddie Vanner. Okay, so if you're a theme park, and I am,

I know. Oh, this is the one where he's on the moon. I know. I know that space. Okay, Lauren. Well, do you seem getting to a rocket? Yeah. I know that space is at a premium in real estate, prices are sky-high.

Even though the Fed lowered interest rates. Okay, Alan Greenspan. But stop making these roller coasters where people just sit in one place and are shaking around while they watch a video of you moving through stuff. You say this makes everyone sick. Yes. And people don't like the Harry Potter ride is the most egregious example. I was about to say that.

Everyone gets sick on it. They had to use it. No, it's, yeah. At the, the first three weeks it was open. Every single human being who went on it through up and they had to like tweak it so it was not as bad, but when we went to all the on the Harry Potter ride, you move the seat, moves through the place. It moves through a thing.

But you all start watching videos. Okay, okay, but I want to back up to this very bold clip. Because he said every single person, every single human being, I said, they walked down, they went, blah, blah, blah, blah. And they were counting like, that was every one. That guy with a clicker. Yep, go on.

And then one, and then he goes a little amount and he looks fine, like, all right, not everyone. And he goes, blah. Right on his face. He's like,

oh, I spoke too soon. Yeah. So it's like a back to the future. One of those kind of things. Yeah, yes. The, the Star Tours was the first one of those kind of things. Yeah, yes. The Star Tours was the first one that I remember. Yes, yes, queen.

Where you sat around being shaken and not stirred. And then meanwhile, because the reason you... I mean, the James Bond ride sturs you. Which is just not on brand. You're just like in a big bucket and then, like a big dick comes in. And mixes it really, speaking softly. Do you know how scary that would be if you were in like

a big gigantic water thing and like you with a bunch of people on the next big spoon comes in and mixes you all up and you're just spinning and you can't control it. I don't think it would be scary. It would be really scary. I would be so scared. How would be scared? Have you ever thought about like if you were suddenly

transported to a different, Yes. Like alien world and you were, you were as big as your dogs are or your cats are in real life and they were big and they couldn't understand you and you were like, Hey, hey, hey, and that's like barking to them. Wait, the dogs and cats are there too.

Like I would be like dogs. But now they're, we've swapped sizes. Yes, the dogs and cats are as big as kids. Well, like I'm their pet. Yeah. And they take care of me. They take care of you because you don't, I mean, even though you have opposable thumbs,

here's the thing, would you reposable thumbs? Do I cuddle on them? I wonder if you would get to the point where you cuddle on them. Because I honestly would do everything that would be fine. I would suck a giant dog for sure. If they were giving me food and taking me out to pee when I looked like I had to go,

and then they would let me curl up in bed with them at night. But would you want, what if you can understand their language and you know that they're talking to you like you're a fucking idiot? I would understand. But they don't understand yours. So but here's my question though. Like if you were trans, if you were like you were taken from Mike, you were like kidnaps. You were kidnaps. People know that Mike weights outside the studio.

Yeah, everyone is watching. Yeah, give her back. But you were like in a, it's a total, you know, eclipse of the heart. It's a scary situation. I mean, I'm not catch trying to, but who's the Vonnegut? What's the Vonnegut? Cat's cradle. No, not Cat's cradle.

A lot of us. Yeah, a lot of us five thing. Where you're like, you're like, totally transported to a different world. But do you think that you would eventually grow so dependent on your masters that you would want to cuddle them like our dogs do? Yeah.

You do. You would just miscut the other way around. No, I mean, God, if it's a bit of a escape, if it's some dystopian, I feel like if it was just a world where pets are reversed and I'm the pet now, that's fine. But if it's a bit of a escape, I'm just to be in. I feel like if it was just a world where pets are reversed and I'm the pet now, that's fine. But if it's a world where I have a master, I mean, that's a very different scenario you're pitching.

But you know, you do have opposable thumbs in though, entire time you're trying to go, okay, there's a mistake. Why am I a possible liar? I'm not a good one. Because that man, what are you fucking obsession with opposable thumbs? I think that's the reason the dogs and cats are so dependent on us is because they can't just open the door.

I know, but they if they were big, they still couldn't do it. They'd be in a world where opposable thumbs were meaningless. I have six monkeys and two raccoons and they can't do shit without me. Your house is filthy, but hey, because they won't clean it. Well, it's covered in monkey shit. Why did I get them? All they do is sit around typing all day. Yeah. The monkey shit looks like human shit.

I hope so. I think all shit looks vaguely the same. Ever seen a bird shit. They have to eat a bird shit. I don't know how to eat it. It's why I didn't splatty. It's splatty. Okay, we have to take a break.

We do? Yeah. Okay. Hi, we're back! I'm still Paul. I'm still Lauren. I'm now Paul. Oh, you're my Scott now? No, you're still Paul. You said you were still Paul. We're both sharing Paul. Oh, little weird.

We're sharing the title of Paul. Oh, this is like a Doctor Who. One of the special episodes. I would love all the guys get together. But honestly, I would love it if when you die and you will die. We'll see. If one of our mutual friends took over

as Paul said, who would it be? Hodgman or does he already, is he entrenched in his Hodgmann stuff? I think he's gone too far into Hodgmann stuff. He's too far into Hodgmann stuff. There was a time. There was a time. There's got to be some who's more of a cipher that we know who could take upon all of the affectations that you have. Do you guys get scared when you really think about the fact

that you have no idea when you're going to die? I thought about the other day, anytime I see someone who's relatively the same age as me die, I'm just like, man. Whatever I see as crazy. I'm like, that could be me. Can you hang it around the work all the time? Why are you seeing dead people? Why are you using an investigator?

I'm Haley Jolaga. I was gonna say that one. Oh, by the way, it's like one of the nicest people. He's so great. And by the way, I get a Google alert for comedy bang gang every day, and I got one the other day. And he still lists it whenever he's casting something.

He still lists it as one of his main credits. Oh, it's fucking awesome. He's like 10 episodes as slow Joey. That's nice. He's a very good dude. We're baseball friends. We talk. Oh, that's right.

You go to games. We go into a game together. Oh, we've, we've, you know, texted about baseball. He goes around the country going to different stadiums. Yes, he does. Yes, he does. All right, is it time for a preacher? So go everyone.

It's time for a preacher. This one comes to us from Tony K. At, Tony K. At, Tobarray. Director of American History X. Was that the guy's name? I think so, wasn't it? I think this is a different guy.

And then Tony Ok, of course. Tony Ok. Tony Ok, what did Tony Ok sing from ill-devo? Sheven what did Tony okay sing T.O.N. I okay K is of course haven't spelled it Tony okay no tone T.O.N. I owe Tony look space K Tony Ojo Tony okay It looks like Ben Stein. When Tony O'K's money. He looks like Ben Stein.

I just don't love that show when he signs the money. What if you won Tony O'K's money? Did you love Jimmy Kimmel sitting on a safe? Was he in there? Sink now safe. What a Jimmy. No, we know him from the man show. Well, I knew that was K-Rock first.

That was his first thing. You know, K-Rock first? Yeah, yeah. His first TV thing was he was Ben's side kid. Oh, yeah, remember that now. Yeah, now you do? It's a pretty, Lauren. You try to under my feet every turn.

I actually don't. It's a pretty good American success story. I got the wrong one, say. Like he, like, yeah, hello. Started on the radio, was funny on the radio, so got cast in as a sidekick on a TV show I'm a radio now he here. Yes, that's what I meant to say went from being the sidekick to having one of the most disgusting shows of all time Yeah, I mean to go from the man show to being like we're talking about his talk show, right?

From man show to Man's Finer. All right, so what is our... One of my first jobs is on Jimmy Kimmel, by the way, in LA. What did you do? Maybe my first TV appearance ever. I was on one of the first episodes. And a sketch with Ryan Reynolds, really?

Yeah. What did I do? I do this very long sketch with Ryan Reynolds, where... Very long. It tried honestly, it was like so great, because I got to improv with him for a long time, and it was like, he has to fire me on behalf of Jimmy Kim line with the office.

And then I get really upset because I'm his biggest fan. We used to go to like, at least once a week to his show. Because he had like the green room was a party. And it was an open bar and stuff. He worked out, it was all John worked on it. She's what a fun time. So, but then they, because I think the first episode someone got too drunk or whatever so they shut down the open mind. Many people did because they were serving the

audience. Whoa. The show was live live and they were serving the audience booze and it just got out of hand so fast. Of course people would start yelling and stuff. Yeah. But the first episode they shut down Hollywood Boulevard and Coldplay played out in the middle of the street. And so we were there. That's cool. It was cool. Yeah. Did you ever want to be a, we did we talk about this?

It's going to be a late night host. I did when I was young and I figured out through having the Bang Gang television show and just learning more about, because I have friends who have guest hosted a late night talk show, I figured out that I just wanted to have a comedy show, not be a late. Because that was the only place that was doing comedy when I was growing up is the late night show,

like Letterman and Late Night. And so I misunderstood and thought, oh, I want to have a late night talk show, but what I really just wanted to do was have a comedy show. I would love to host a variety show. Yes, sure. I would love that.

I will, no one wants me to do it. We should reboot Viva Variety. They're right, they're wrong. And you can be Johnny Blue jeans. Oh. I actually, I can't get into it, but I had a couple of friends, Pitcha, like Variety type show that would be so funny

and it got rejected. And I'm like, this business is crazy. I'm like this, I know this show is very funny. The only way you can get something like that, Don, is if you have a massive hit and they'll just let you make any juice. It's every game show is now being hosted by huge celebrities. It's Saga. Why is Jamie Foxx hosting a show?

Why is Dex Shepard hosting a show? Jamie Foxx never get more. Wait, Jamie Foxx. Dex Shepard. While everyone has two jobs. We have Ellen DeGeneres. We have... There's another one. What else to host, fans has two jobs. Game Lash. We have Ellen DeGeneres. We have, there's another one. What else to host, fans?

Elizabeth Banks. Is that a big game show? Yeah, she's a host. No remeber. It's all with doing that game. I mean, they're all hosted by actors who are in big movies all the time. You let us do shit.

Let us do shit. Let us do shit. Let us do shit. Let us do shit. Let us do it. Let us do it. Let us do it. Let us do it. Let us do shit. Let us do shit. Let us do shit. Let us do it. This is my plea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's very strange. I don't understand. It's like penny lane. The confusing thing about it is very strange. Okay, maybe you should. That's

not what was strange. What was strange was the fireman rushed in from the pouring rain. Now that's weird. Yep. You admit it at the very least, but to call it strange. I think one thing I want to say one last thing about this is just stay out in it. Is that what the Beatles are trying to say? They're our drugs, Ben. The problem with these networks is that they're not taking into account the fact that if you take a risk on someone who's extremely talented, the show will be a bigger hit than ever.

Yes. Then if you just have a person, someone is familiar seeing, like used to seeing, and then used to be a little. As I used to say, movies need movie stars. Television makes stars. There you go. Just cast to say that. Gumby?

My friend Gumby. And his pal Poki. Two? Yeah. They were. They were very cute. All right. Are we playing this the reacher?

Oh, yes, shit. What is that? Anyway, Tony OK, thank you for this. Thank you, Tony OK for this suggestion. OK, Cooperoni. Build us in this beginning with subsequent letters of the alphabet. OK, so. What's this called?

So I have to do. It's not called toberoni. It's called 60 seconds off a bed. But do I go and do the whole sentence myself? No, you do one word. OK. We do one word at a time. It's like build us.

It's like build us story. But you have to follow. Yeah, a it's like build a story but you have to follow yeah and it has to make sense and you have to follow the alphabet you're the first letter of the word that you pick has okay ready yeah but shouldn't shavin yes give us a letter letter so you're gonna start Lauren yeah okay yes are you secretive fuck? A letter is S S S Somebody Stop me You're out It was my turn anyway

Somebody took Ursula's Violin Why? You. Nope. Okay. Skin no letter. No.

What? What? What? W. Oh, X. W. F. W.

X. Okay, Mark Marin. Want to start over? WTF. Cool up. Literally said, hey, do you mind locking the gate today? And I said, who am I, Mark Marin? And she went, boo. Cool, I love you. Why?

OK, so this is where it gets tough. Why? It's always going to fall part of the eggs. Why, it's so quick. It's because I was egg. Why Xavier? You. It has to be a suit keeper. I

It has to be a keeper all Waiters me oh This is always what Order it is you just want to do it yourself. Yeah, yeah, play a look go ahead start the letter is babies can do It is The letter is babies can do Grandma help is just keep All right, all right mommy. No. Oh Please Queen please Queen All right, all right, all right mommy. No. Oh Please so queen please queen Mommy, oh no, please queen

No, episode title episode title. Oh, have you all know please queen rewind Something You're in like Under very wet You are the psychic and minority report just like I think because you had an ice-crew challenge who's trying to wish away All right. All right. What's the letter? Just A, just A.

I have all the same starting point. It's just enough. All right. Any ball clearly doesn't exist for good. Mm, of course. However, of course. However, I just... Kitting.

Look. I am your father. Many neurons over protons quietly reserve sanctions. Violence will X-ray your Zanzibars that was really good wow It was really good. You have to go and you have to go a little bit faster But I feel like I need a different letter to start on I'm just gonna say what he's at no you won't That's what he's gonna remember the whole thing. I said a totally different thing. Okay, um almost Breaking almost breaking could

Danny he took a second and then still a way made no sense almost breaking could Danny ever forget Ghosts almost breaking could Danny ever forget ghosts I like the story almost breaking could Danny ever forget he goes almost breaking could you go Keep going this is like this is like news that it was almost breaking news But a couple people heard already almost breaking could Danny ever get ghost Keep going. Ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha. Ha. I joined Karrissa laughing. Karrissa with a K. With a K. Ha, I joined Kyrissa laughing. Many nerds opened popcorn. They opened it?

They opened popcorn quietly. Okay, fun. Yeah, you can open. Oh, many nerds opened popcorn quietly. Retiring saliva. He did repeat a couple of the words I used. Yeah, it's our not doing. Retiring saliva.

That doesn't make sense. Yours made so much sense. Then under vaccines, where Xanadu yep Zeefers Oh, we got to take these seconds And I did it, it matters Oh, we got to take a break, I'm so sick Oh, I'm taking the card And the card gap Oh, I'm taking the card And the card gap

Oh, I'm taking the Ah, ah, ah Fun, so fun, so fun So fun, so fun, so fun Such a good time, so fun, such a good so fun, so fun, so fun. Guys, we wanna thank you all for listening to the show. Scott needs to know what time it is. No, I don't.

What, you're just taking your pulse? I was taking my pulse and honestly, it's sky high after that. Because you're so excited. Incredible victory that I had. I won that, right? Yeah, yeah. Guys, we love you guys.

Make us some three new mashups, you guys. Give us some remixes and give us some fun dialogue mashups in your remixes. We're still waiting on those presents, by the way. We never got any presents for you guys. Yeah, fuck. Well, we did get the nice t-shirt stuff, but it was great. Okay, okay, okay, we got that,

but that was weeks ago. We got spanking pants, but we want more presents. We want presents. We want to be like Christmas but we want more presents. We want presents. We want to be like Christmas morning, any time we come in to record an episode where we just like, oh my god, this is a look a bicycle. And something fun. Oh, send us bikes.

Send us bicycles please. Send us like a fun little thing you recently got and looked out people would like. If there's a scooter lying around on the street, just pick it up and put it in a box and send it to us. Oh man, put a bird scooter in a box, send it to us. Oh man put a bird scooter in a box And it's a three-dom dash USA dot com. You know be like the old times where you should send fan mail to someone You're a little kid except now we're all adults and we just want stuff. Yeah, you're an adult. We're an adult

Give us your stuff. We're an adult for a little cream. I have a adult cream. I have a Sent us adult cream. Send us creams. Send us creams for our genitals. Send us creams. Send us un-gwynns. Send us things that will make our genitals not age so much. Hey, you got my problem, sir. I want my genitals to shine.

Shine my shining eyes. Shine, I mean. We gotta go. We gotta go. We'll see you next time. Thanks. Bye. Chicken and corn gum.