Threedom - Threevisiting: Moneybucks

Episode Date: February 13, 2024

Threevisiting on the Tues: Scott, Paul & Lauren discuss Robin Williams, the Bible and Scott’s surgery before playing Nicknaming. Follow us on social media @threedomusa. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail]. Leave us a voicemail at 424-252-4678 (HAG-CLAIMS-8).

Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom!

Yeah! 2021 Dumb! Happy New Year everybody! 2021, unless you're listening to this on Stingtropinium. Everything's better now and everything's good. Yeah, really good. Isn't it great? Life is amazing now.

That gear is behind us. Over night. 2020 was a dumpster fire and I'm the first one to say it, but 2021? Wow. Oh my God. I wouldn't even put it that way, but when you put it that way, that's so funny. It sounded really unique and cool. You had 2020 ending on their 2020 bingo card. I got it on mine.

And I got a big old fat bingo bitch. I got a big old fat bingo bitch. Banger, geo, motherfucker. Welcome, I am Lauren. I am Paul. I am Scott. And this is three of them, the show where we talk to each other. We were just talking about scooters and I have to say,

I rode lime scooters around Germany last year to say, I rode Lyme scooters around Germany last year at this exact time of year that we're recording November, it's December. What were they called there? Lyme's. But how did they say it? Lyme! I actually don't.

I don't know, but it was just Lyme. Did you say, climb? Climb! But it was such a fun way to go around a city. Well, I didn't saw that. Were you wearing it? Yes. What is your concept of the German language? Terrifying, so they just put a guttural H in front of everything everything.

You know what I'm doing when I do it. Merry Christmas! So you were you wearing a helmet? No. Lauren! Were you to be dead with your head cracked open in a foreign country? I know, but there is a stand. No. Lauren. Lauren. For you to be dead with your head cracked open in a foreign country. For you to be dead with your head cracked open. A couple. Dead people. Close calls. Close calls. Not with me falling and dying, but where I was in traffic and where I was like, I didn't mean to be over here and I'm like, I shouldn't be in here. Were you saying that as you were on the, I didn't mean to be over here. When they were honking

at me, it was kind of implied. Honk, honk, honk. I stepped off, I almost stepped off the street in England and got confused on which way I was gonna be looking and Colop grabbed me and a motorcycle went boof and woulda hit me and she started, she burst into tears. It makes like, I can't do this. With the first time that Janie and I went to New Orleans together, No.

We were Big easy. We were standing on one of those. Oh. One of those sort of traffic islands. Hot up in here. Where there was like a sort of three-way traffic thing happening, right? Yeah, where they had like the diagonals.

This is the first time you and Janie were involved in a three-way. But not the last. Ooh, skip to that part. Oh,. This is the first time you and Janey were involved in a three-way. But not the last. Ooh, skip to that part. Oh, that's right, I fucked you both. Oh my God, ew. Yeah, on the Between Two Friends movie. Oh, shit! What?

So, we're waiting to cross, and it's not clear which light we're supposed to be looking at, right? And so, Janie starts to step off the street, step off the curb, and a car zooms by, and she was like, start it off for a second. And then a guy nearby said, you can't just step off the street like that,

this is New Orleans! It's like, this is New Orleans thing. That's everywhere. That's just traffic. This is New Orleans. We do things different here down here. The unique character of America. You go, I have a crow daddy in your pocket.

You won't step off the street like that. People love to make it like this city is like this. Yeah. Like every city has some sort of, that's one thing I can't stand in movies where they go, this is New York and everyone goes, yeah. Especially even like Spider-Man 2 after 9-11, it was like, we're New York, we have a certain character.

We got a lot of spiders. You can get pizza in four in the morning here. The one I hated it the most was in United 93. I was like you can't fly into this is a field in Pennsylvania this is a pedigree what are you doing Lauren, where'd you go? That was a scary day. I don't think so. It's funny generationally. I think it is.

To me, it was not a big deal. That's a thing, yes. Totally. It's like Ghostbusters. You were toodling around in Germany. Yeah. Were you by your lonesome or was it to do with me? No, with Mike.

You were with Mike. And we... Tyson? It was very cold and it was Mike Tyson and it was... Brady? It was freezing and we were riding the limes as a way to like get home faster one night or like let's just do this because we were walking. Yeah. Well, we have a mutual friend.

It's so cold. I wish we were going faster. Well, like we would have to walk for an hour. I get it. I get it. We have a mutual friend who goes down to La Pubelle, walks there, because it's downhill, and then takes a lime scooter

because he's too drunk to drive in. Who's that? No, no, no. Yeah, that's what I was picturing. But that's interesting. Hitler? Um. Hello, give me the line.

If you get down that far, why stop at La Pubelle? Why don't you just go a couple more doors down to birds? Or what about the other one Franklin and co other one? I like Franklin Oh Birds remember when the our dear departed friend Robin Williams who go to UCB and then yeah, and then go over to birds and dance on the Fun really yeah, I remember meeting him in San Francisco at sketch fest people's after shows. So fun. Really? Yeah. I remember meeting him in San Francisco at SketchFest. Yes. He came by to match game. He came by to match game.

And I had met him at that point, because I did a few shows with him through Jeff Garland. I did Jeff Garland's UCB shows, and there's a picture I still have. Jeff Garland? Oh, Jeff Garland. I was picturing Jeff Fox for have. Jeff Garland? Oh, Jeff Garland. I was picturing Jeff Fox for it. Jeff Garland? I was like, Jeff Fox?

He's doing UCB shows? But I have a picture of like Robin Williams with his hand on my knee because I just told a story about loving him when I was young. Oh, that's nice. So anyway, so he was there at Match Game and I'm like, hey man, do you want to come up and do... This is exactly what I was going to talk about, because his response was, no one wants to see me.

No one wants to see me do this. We're like, Robin Williams. Everyone wants to see you do anything. No, but he was so self-effacing that he thought that we were the cool comedians, and if he were to go up, people would be disappointed because the cool comedians weren't doing it.

Aw, what a nice man. It was very sweet, yeah. He was very sweet. Dude, just share a seat with me. Like, a porst born. And then the audience is like, we want to see Rob and Williams, not you guys. We see you every week. But he was just as a fan.

He just wanted to watch it. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, nice guy, really nice guy. He was really nice. So you had a buddy and you were going around Germany. My husband. Yeah, we were zipping through. Yeah, I'm good with my best buddy, my husband. Your butt buddy.

Yeah, sure. We were on butts from time to time. It's pretty pleasurable, but I did wait till marriage. Good. But it was so fun and then we kind of got obsessed with them, but we were like, we wanted to go to another city and use them, because we don't want to do it here. Because it's like-

You want to take the ones from Germany to another city? No, we want to like travel again. That was our last big trip before the pandemic. Yeah. And I'm glad we went because it was kind of impulsive, but like, God man, it sucks. I haven't gone anywhere. I found this list in my phone of all the six.

I had written the year we went on tour. I wrote down all the cities I traveled to that year because I went on other places as well. And it was just like, I traveled. You went to places without us? Yes. And I traveled to like 40 places or more. Like just had a very busy year.

We used to travel a lot. Yeah, especially during the tour. And it was so fun. And then I was like, this year I've gone to Philadelphia where I shot my scene in Happiest Season. And then that's it. That was funny, by the way. Thanks.

Good job. It was very funny. Thank you. We have to talk about the weird coincidence in the text thread. I didn't think it was that weird. Chaney thought it was weird. Chaney thought it was,

I thought it was a fun coincidence. I thought it was pretty weird. Chaney was very, she thought we like did it on purpose. So both of us watched this movie that Mary Holland co-wrote, the happiest season that Lauren is in. I think it's just called happy season. Whatever.

And so we watched it and when Lauren came up, both of us took on different days, both of us took a picture of the screen. In your private homes, separate of each other. Separate of our homes. Took a picture of the phones. Different people. Different fingers. No, you both use the same finger. Same finger. And separate of our homes. Took a picture of the phones. Different phones. Different people.

Different fingers. No, you both use the same finger. Same finger. No, that's right. Both of you use the same finger. It's a riddle. It's a riddle. Ha ha ha ha.

Well, we both took pictures of Lauren dressed as a cop. I took one planning on texting into the group chain. Yeah, right. And then Paul, two days later, I think, took posted his picture to the group chain. And I immediately was like, oh yeah, I took one and I sent mine. And they were the exact same.

Second. Second of the show. Now, to be fair, and Janie thought this was very weird. She's like, you took a picture at the exact same time. I'm like. The scene was short. Lauren was only in 30 seconds of the movie. Like, and we picked one of those 30.

Here's what it was. And I, cause this is what I said to Janie, that it perfectly, it was the perfect amount of time of noticing Lauren. Oh, there she is. Getting the phone, setting it up, taking the picture. Like, of course. It's like, I did it immediately.

And I'm sure you did it immediately too. So it only stands to reason it would be that, but Jeannie was extremely suspicious. Jeannie thought it was fishy as fuck. Yeah, she did. She was like, you guys plan this. Yeah, and like, I don't know what they would do, or why.

The worst practical joke of all time. But so, yeah, you were in Philadelphia. The worst practical joke of all time was that comic who said he was in 9-11 who wasn't. Oh my God. It's too pretty to see. I didn't get that. I thought that was a weird joke. But I haven't gone anywhere else, I think.

I think I've- In 2020, I was in Mexico and that was it, I think. I honestly think maybe I've only gone to that one place. And that's a whole year. And I also keep thinking December was just now, like it was just like a month ago. And it's already December again. And I'm like, well, I know, but I'm like,

I didn't ever like catch up with what part of the year it really was. Yeah, what I will say is like, I would think back to, oh, remember when we were in Tokyo and I would say that to cool off. And instead we would be like, oh, thank God we went. Like thank God we didn't just go like, oh, remember when we were in Tokyo and I would say that to Cool Up and instead we would be like, oh, thank God we went. Like, thank God we didn't just go like, oh, we'll do that, you know, another year in the future.

And I feel the same way. And Mike is really more impulsive about travel than I am. And I really appreciate it because we've gone to like a bunch of fun countries together and... Funkeries. Funkeries. And it's been like nice to be able to have those memories during this time. Well, we were... Cool Up and I were supposed to...

We had a big Italy trip for April. Damn. And I remember in February talking to a mutual friend, and I said, yeah, well, we're supposed to go to Italy in April and they're having this big outbreak of this thing. He goes you ain't going to Italy I think we could we could still go probably like you ain't going to Italy Yeah, and I thought we'd be going to Tokyo again. We wanted to go again in the spring and that was disappointing I went to and I wanted to go to Lithuania... And I wanted to go to Lithuania in Greece. I wanted to go to Lithuania this summer with my family

and that was gonna be a big family thing because my dad's from there. That sounds like that would have been fun. Funcry. I went to San Francisco, Portland, Vancouver. Oh, maybe I was in San Francisco in January for Sketchfest, huh? Well, you probably were.

I did not go. I don't think I went anywhere other than I came back from Mexico like the first couple of days of January. I went to Vancouver twice. Vancouver was my last trip. Whoa! The second trip was the last one and that was right before everything shut down.

Whoa! This is what passes for interesting and COVID times. Yeah. Whoa! You went to Vancouver? I'm also just, I'm looking through my calendar in January and I'm like, what is this fucking bullshit I was doing?

Because I have no idea. Well, I think I mentioned, did I mention it to you that- Look at this, put you idiot, what are you doing? I went to DC and I went to Philadelphia. So I mentioned it to you that in February, we, I saw on the internet that Sting, he wrote a musical and it was playing down,

I mentioned this. Yes, you did. God, what I wouldn't give to watch Sting. Yeah, you said that too. Well, maybe I should just. I would love to go see a play, I'd love to go see a bad play, I'd love to go see like a Christmas show.

I know Christmas is over for you listeners, but I'm sure these bingers out there who are mad that they're binging, you have control, you know? All you people who say, oh, I got five episodes at once, they listen to them all, why'd you do that? Then why'd you do that?

You don't have to listen to them. Why'd you do that? Can I say this about happiest season, which I really enjoyed. And it's just one day after the holidays, everybody. This is relax. Yeah. Sure. Well, it's January 7th when people are... It's one day after the holidays. Yeah, that's right. The epiphany. Oh, okay.

Yeah, the wise men finally made it to the... That's the only one you celebrate, right? ...the Stables. The only one. Wait, the wise men didn't make it until weeks later? They weren't there until a week later, yeah. It's not true. Why don't they tell us that in the Bible. They do That's the only in the back that's the only place that information is contained

We're like We used to wait when I was a kid we used to wait with our activity scene to put the wise men in really till January 7th Yeah, that's you wouldn't have knocked it down by then We used to we used to keep the baby Jesus out of the manger until until the I've been in really until January 7th. Yeah, that's you wouldn't have knocked it down by them We used to we used to keep the baby Jesus out of the manger until until the Yeah, yeah, you would sneak it down. You can put him in on Christmas Eve. Well, it's not a surprise Jesus Little baby Jesus

No one's around. Oh no to live a living Eminem It's just like Santa Claus sneaking down and right? Yes, just like that. Yeah, I mean Santa Claus essentially is Jesus, but... Wait, now he's Jesus? Well, yeah. What are you talking about? Because he has the same birthday?

Yeah. But the... Oh wait, Santa Claus' birthday is December 20th. Yeah, that's why he's so crazy about Christmas He's like he's really saying same person. Well, he wants cookies for his birthday. So he figured out a way to get him. Yeah, I Don't like cake. I'm not a cake guy. I love cookies. Oh cookies and I like when my reindeer are fed They love carrots for crazy for like a carrot or two. They might take one bite out of it leave the rest I don't know. It's just a mess. I some time hungry there. They've been to a lot of houses, people.

Oh! The proof of the thing being eaten is one bite and they don't need anymore. That's the best. Not just like putting them back in the fridge. Right. So, I know. Interesting how Santa eats all the cookies though. Yeah.

Yeah. The carrots, not really in the mood. Reindeer's pace themselves. We're going to go to a lot of houses. Wait, so who wrote the Bible? One chomp. Yeah, who did? We did. We all, all of us together. Isn't that great? We wrote one word at a time. It's the people's book. No, like who, okay, so they say it's like, oh, even if you said, okay, God and Jesus don't exist, but the people who say they wrote each books wrote it. Is that even true?

You know like Matthew Mark Luke John. No, no like who like some guy wrote a lot of it I mean some guy. Oh you see your theory is it was one guy No Who used a bunch of different pen names? No, I think it was a bunch of editors like one guy wrote Genesis and then an editor got ahold of it was like let like, let me cut this, but let me add this. And then it just like kept being passed down throughout the ages.

I mean, I believe that's essentially true is that they've been, all of it has been like heavily. So let's do some cuts to it now. You know what I mean? Like why is there not- I don't, exactly. It's a little like- In my lifetime, why hasn't there been a revision

of the Bible where we cut out some of the dumpster? Well, Whitman never stopped writing leaves of grass. Wow. That's right. He was crazy. He was like the only just a mystery mansion. He was like Santa Claus. He was born on December 25th.

Yep. He loved cookies. Seriously, like if we, the three of us, the freedom Bible, yeah, made some cuts. Why not? I know what I would cut. What would you cut? Part where you can't fuck a sheep. OK, so now is it a sin if you don't fuck a sheep?

No, it's just like, why are we why are we talking about this? Like, why even bring it up? It's getting a little weird that you brought it up in the first place. Back then, there was the only job was being shepherd. And it was like, look, look, we know it gets lonely. You get to do so much already. Just don't do this one thing. Come on, guys.

The sheep don't like it. The Bible was the sheep's best friend. We talked about the documentary, Zoo. It's like about bestiality. No, no, thank you. They fuck. We talked about the documentary zoo Tell you about bestiality They fuck to Guys that fuck a horse. I can't remember exactly how it breaks down, but they all get in If I remember at all correct so they have like a meeting and they all want to do this.

And then they kind of make a plan. And then I think one of them gets kicked possibly to death by the horse. Whoa. Oh God, I hope so. I can't remember though, but yeah. I truly hope so. Were they filming it?

Yeah, there was like hitting cameras in the stable. So the horse didn't know. What? And at the end they were gonna be like, see there's a camera there, there's a camera there. No, but they brought it because the camera is in because they were like, I wanna watch this later. How weird.

It's weird to want to fuck a horse for sure. Yeah, and to find other people that also wanna do it. How are they filming like the plan being made or is this all in retrospect where they're like, so he came to me and said he wanted to make a plan. I don't remember. I don't remember. Who starts filming the minute one of their friends says, hey, what if we all fucked a horse?

I have to look into this. Well, let me get my camera. Hold on. Let me get my camera. Hold that thought. Let me get my camera. What were you saying now? Also, have you seen the new trend in reenactments

in true crime stuff? I missed this trend. It's a lot of cartoons, a lot of animation. of animation really about is that because stuff can't be audio Can't be filmed now. So they're I Don't think it's that I think it's just an effort to live because like holy moly So they filmed the entire season other than the Steph Curry Meeting the contestants like that day. I think they had planned to pick up when Steph Curry was free.

And then COVID happened. I forget what Holy Moly is. Holy Moly's an inter-golf rubbery little show. It's that golf show that Scott watched and no one else did. Oh, yes, okay. It's the best. You guys should watch it. It is funny? Yes, it's like...

Wait, it is funny? Cool up. Cool up and I was our favorite. Like, we could not wait for Thursdays. A little bit of drama. Real quick, the documentary was about a man who was a Seattle aircraft engineer who died in 2005 after performing a sexual act with a stallion. The filmmaker interviews a number of zoo files.

He died because of it or just happened to be after. The worst part is he was giving you first steps. He uses dramatic reenactments to illustrate their anonymous comments, dramatic reenactments. And it was made, it came out two hours, I mean two years ago. It came out two hours ago and you already watched it. It came out two years after that guy died. What if you had a Google alert for any documentary about fucking hoarses?

Okay, and it came out two hours ago and it's really good apparently. A lot of can see it. Now you're saying this? I don't know where you would find it. Maybe you could buy it. But isn't it like a sort of wipeout type show? Sort of, but Rob Riggle is really funny. Oh, okay. It's great.

Cool Up and I were really looking forward to every episode. No, I have other friends who like it. But, you know, I'm not sure if you can see it. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Wipeout type show sort of but it but Rob Riggle is really funny. Okay. Um, it's great I cool up and I were really looking forward to

But um, so I don't need you I'm not I'm not talking down about it as much as I Understand that I'm just making a little joke. I'm just trying to keep things light around sure What's Scott trying to do? I see myself as the peacemaker because I was saying I was trying to you know patch up what I had done You're the peacemaker. What's Scott trying to do it. I see myself as the peacemaker. Because I was saying, I was trying to, you know, patch up what I had done. You're the peacemaker. What's Scott trying to do? He's, I'm trying to move forward like a shark. He's trying to move forward like a shark.

He's a forward mover. I'm the peacemaker. What are you, Lauren? I'm the patch worker. I go back and make some mistakes and clear up issues or unclear things. The peacemaker, the patchmaker, the mover forward. The shark. Mine's not as cool. The peacemaker. When I said I was a shark, that sounds cool. The peacemaker, the patchmaker, the mover forward. The shark. Mine's not as cool.

The peacemaker. When I said I was a shark, that sounds cool. The peacemaker, the patchmaker. The peacemaker. The peacemaker. Okay, I'll be the midnight talker. The peacemaker, the patchworker, the shark. But I'm saying that Steph Curry,

they couldn't, the very last day of filming, COVID happened so they had to animate him for the entire season too. The very last day of filming, COVID happened. That was a weird day. But to my larger point, Paul, they may be animating things now. Waking up that morning.

They may be animating things now because they can't film them. No, you're not listening to me. You're not listening to me, which I think is... Your Steph Curry story, frankly, it was a disaster. Okay. How dare you? I thought he was the peacemaker. What they're doing is they have audio,

like old tapes and things. Sure. And they're just, there was never video for it. Okay. And they're just animating these things. Okay. And it's kind of- And what are they doing this in?

This big hot trend. They're doing it in true crime documentaries. Like such as? Like such as Things My Wife Watches that I don't note the titles of? Have you ever seen Who the Bleep? Did I Marry? No. I've lived it. What the bleep do you know about it?

It's a bleeping docu-series type. But it's about people where they go like, she got home with her husband Carl, not believing that he was a bad guy. Is this the dude from... Not believing that he was a bad guy. Is this the dude from, uh... Not believing that he was a bad guy. You sound like the dude who does...

He's the... Oh, the guy with white hair who's on... No, no, no, no, not Keith, whatever his name is. The other guy, the other guy who's like, he's got kind of this, something like that. Oh, wait. Keonis? Yes, John Keonis.

No, no, not Keonis. No, it's not him. I know who you're talking about. I can't picture you. Is heis? Yes, yes. No, no, no, not Keonis. I know who you're talking about. I can't picture you. Is he the third guy? Yeah, he looks, hold on. He's sorta, I don't wanna say. He looks like Buster, no, he looks like,

he looks like, what's his name? I think it's, I- Wait, but that's not John Keonis? No, no, that's the Keonis who I've been on a plane with, by the way. I can't believe you buried this story. That's right. Oh my God.

And everyone was like, I love your show. And he's like, well, thank you very much. What would you do? Yeah, the what you would you do guy? No, this is a dateline guy who kind of talks like this. I know the guy you, I think I thought that was him. No.

Hold on. What's the deal with, but he's like half Seinfeld. Josh Mankowitz? Half Man. He's like a Cent's like half Seinfeld Josh Manco it half man He's like a centaur outside felt Jani love Yeah, send me the picture and I will confirm or deny can I send you this picture? Wait how on earth is that the song you just say I've been listening to that song on repeat. Have you really week? Wow, so weird and I almost was gonna play it today. Why didn't you?

I forgot. You were waiting for me. Yeah, but that was really weird. Yeah, it's the fourth guy. Yes. So Josh Mankiewicz. Yeah. Mankiewicz, yeah, Mankiewicz maybe.

Who's related to the writer of Citizen Kane. Oh, he's a Mank? Really? Yes, yes, yes. He's, oh, he's a manc? Really? Yes, yes, yes. He's dissented of that manc. Citizen Kane. So why did you say Rosebud at the end of Citizen Kane? Well, did you watch it?

Well, did you watch it? Because it was my slide game. But I think he doesn't sort of look like that guy, too, John Kenona's? Look like what guy? Maybe I've never seen John Canonis. They just blend together because they all are on. They all talk the same in their own session.

But anyway, yeah, that guy, it sounded like you were doing it. He does something like this. Like it's like. And he asked questions. He knows the answer to. But he does it incredulously. So why would you go down? He's so incredulous. By the way, they don't not look alike.

They are sort of the same, the same palette. Maybe. There's a lot happening. The same face palette. They get the same like suits and vibe. Same like grinder. Same grinder profile. Yeah, I've seen these guys before.

Matches. But that was the bleach that I married. It's like, it's basically like, I just watched an episode on Hulu and it's just like, um, you know, those little types of true crime stories of a person who marries someone who turns out to have like a dark secret or they like a fucking asshole. Like what? It's too late. You married me. What kind of secret is... There's nothing you could do about it. What kind of secret is too dark to keep

until after you're married? You know, like you should be able to have some secrets that like after you're married, you're like, oh yeah, by the way, this happened to me in my life. Okay, what's your secret? But what's too... No, I don't have one, I'm saying like what? If you found out...

Is this because you're gonna have some weird conversation with cool up later One spouse You know what I mean like if you found out that oh by the way before we got married This this was my lifestyle or this happened to me it like what I was a big amist I Am married married married a man. I'm a nuttist Married to many people But but

I've never said it out loud, so I say something wrong I've never said it out loud. So am I saying something wrong? But I guess it is married before. Is that something that would be weird if like, oh yeah, I was married. If you're a bigamist, you're married to me. I know what a bigamist is. I have changed the fucking subject.

Okay, but do you know? What a bigamist is. Or I'm going back to the original question. Back to the original question. Before you start doing bits. The secret would have to be something really, something I wouldn't care about at all because I think anything that is like,

my lifestyle was this or whenever I'd go, why have you never brought that up? We've talked about every single thing. And then you're gonna tell me, like how often, this is a question for you guys since you've been married a long time How often do you have a new story that you have or your spouse that you like? Oh, I've never heard that I feel like it's so rare now. Yeah, I mean it's rare

I'm we've Mike and I've been together like five years. Yeah, it's like it's it's a Rare condition in this day and age to find It's a rare condition in this day and age to find a new story. Well, especially spending so much time together now, but I feel like it just happened recently where Gullop was like, if you ever done that, and I said, oh, you know, when I was, especially because I had, you know, 40 years before I met her, before she was even born.

So I lived a lot of time. Come on, man, come on. You saw a whole world she doesn Come on, man. Come on. You saw a whole world, she doesn't even know it. Freaky Friday? Freaky Friday. I feel like a prompt will sometimes shake a story like that out. Yeah, yeah.

But what's funny to me is you're so used to hearing the other person, we're so used to hearing each other's stories told to a third party. Yes. Right, yeah. That it's like, I sort of enjoy that in a weird way of like, oh, okay, she's gonna tell that story. Yeah. You know, maybe I have a little part in it

where I'm supposed to, I know I'm supposed to pipe up. Or you can rub mines. At some point, you know. Yeah. I sort of like that routine. That happened recently. Yeah, I'm not complaining, by the way, about not knowing a new story.

We were talking to a couple. It's like, secret would be crazy, by the way, about not knowing a new story. We were talking to a couple. It would be crazy. And the wife started telling a story and the husband, like, kept interjecting, going, like, you've forgotten what the story is even about. And he knew the story way more. He's like, you're missing every point that's important to it. And she was like, well, I'm just trying to, you know, and of course, like, everything, all the details he added in were like, I'm just trying to, you know, and of course, like everything, all the details he added in were like,

I'm just trying to have me nice to be hard. I'm trying to tell a story, but I'm a woman. I've always relied on the kindness of strangers. I'm trying to keep a thought in my head, but it's not impossible. But no, I mean, yeah, Cool Up and I've been together for 21 years, I guess. So yeah, I guess it would be hard.

Yeah, you've had most of your lives together. Yeah. Shit, man, that's true. Most of hers. Most of hers. You've had most of Cool Up's life together. I'm almost in most of my life. So you know all of her stories,

but you might have some stories. No, honestly, I was not interested in anything she was talking about. Okay, so the first 15 years years you didn't hear a word. No, but I mean, Because you're busy talking. I think it would definitely have to be, well, there's two categories.

It would have to be stories before we met each other, but also stories that were told early on in our relationship that we've forgotten. Like, so every once in a while, I'll timidly say, hey, could you remind me of this story? Because I guess in previous, Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, Coalop is always really good about, oh no, yeah, of course. This is 20 years ago I told you this. Well, okay, so it happened this way. I was 11. Hey.

We're back. Oh, good. Thank God. She was 10. Yeah. We need to take a break. We'll be right back. I'm sure we do. Yeah. Welcome back everybody. It's three of them still.

We're still listening to this. That's right. Can you believe it? You sink chili out here in the petiole. Yes, we had to do this at a very specific time and the sun is starting to go down and Lauren is starting to get cold. So pretty soon will be Hollywood nights.

In the Hollywood Hills. Those Hollywood days. Always makes me think of you guys, Bob Seeger. Yeah, we used to play, I'm sure we talked about this before, but we used to play Bob Seeger's greatest hits as we were on tour with three that was awesome It was awesome. That was I really miss that so much fucking awesome

Well whenever theaters open back up again, let's go back out and do another one. Okay. I would love to But not until then no, I don't know where we would perform it would be stupid But where would they perform and why? Do you have any desire to do stand up in front of a bunch of honking cars? I really don't. Now, are you saying honking like big honking cars? I'm saying it in place of fucking. I really don't.

I really don't. I mean, it seems so not fun to me. I say more power to anyone who wants to do that. I would not, if it works for you, I'm not gonna try to talk you out of it, but it does not appeal to me at all. I don't know that anyone enjoys it as much as they just feel like

they have to keep going out on stage and working on their act. It would be hard if you are standing up. I gotta stay home and keep getting fat. You have things to do. That's my priority right now. Honestly, I want everything to stop. Yes. I have this desire of just like, everything stop. Can now. Honestly, I want everything to stop. Yes.

I have this desire of just like, everything stop. Can I just do nothing? Yes, everything stop. Do you know what I mean? I know what you mean. I wish the world would stop and my life would end. I wish that. I just want like a free pass to like have a month

of just fucking watching holiday movies. I'm sorry, I keep living in the past in this January. We're in December when we're taping this, but December's kind of like that, nothing happens really. It just feels like there's enough. Other than we have to do a million podcasts. I know, I have a million podcasts. I have a million podcasts.

December is my busy month. And I have a million other little things that keep popping up. You have to watch a million little things. I actually do watch a million little things. So I have to catch up on that. And then I have all these like voiceover jobs and things that are very simple, but it's like,

it kind of the way the pandemic makes it feel, it's like, it just fills your day if you have one thing. Well, you have this like stress of, wait, everything should be shut down because we can't do anything, but then you also have responsibilities. So you feel busier than ever, but you also feel like the stress of not being able

to do anything means that you shouldn't just do anything, which you should just be on a couch, you know, but I had, yeah. I should be on a couch. You should be on a couch. I had like a month in July in August, where I was just on a couch and didn't do anything. Was that when you hurt your butt?

That was my post. I was just starting to think about injury he could have. I haven't talked about it, but I talked about it. Was that when your ball fell out? Was that when you got ball-flat of your butt? How did that even get in there? Well, he was trying to do something fun for himself. He tucked his ball right up into his butthole and it fell out when he sat down on it. Out you mama.

Mr. Belvedere. And he rolled down his slide all the way into the pool. You guys knowing why I was out makes this really insensitive. Oh my god I actually don't. I'm so sorry I actually don't. I have no sense of time and I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm not. I have the surgery I told you guys about. Oh my god. To put you all back in your mouth? It's just sort of... I completely forgot. I'm not even...

I'm just blushing. Oh my god. Oh my god. I'm sorry. I wouldn't have to make fun of that. That honestly seems like five years ago. I know. First of all, yes, second of all, oh my God. First of all, yes, second of all, oh my God. For the listener, I have not talked about this, but I had a surgery in July and it's

in a... I'm so sorry. It's something... God is the front of a human's therapy. That's right. I'm a Seinfeld centaur now. I'm Seinfeld on the something. God is the front of a human therapy. That's right. I'm a Seinfeld Centaur now. I'm Seinfeld on the top. What's the deal?

And a horse on the bottom. Seinfeld Centaur. Fuck me, Zoom. No, I had. That's what the horse is doing. I had what is called a TZ surgery. Ouch. Ouch, indeed.

And it was part of Cool Up and I. Cool Up has talked about this on her podcast, so I feel like I can talk about it, but it's part of our continuing IVF saga. And a TZ surgery, I had no idea what it was, but you knew what it was. I have heard about it because I listened to this podcast, Spermcast, which is a really good podcast that my friend Molly Hockey does all about her journey to get pregnant, which has been a couple years of this podcast. Now she's been trying on these different paths.

And she has guests on who talk about their journeys and someone did talk about this surgery at one point. It's a weird name, TZ. It's like Plesi and TZ. TZ, TZ, TZ, yeah. Are you ready for surgery? But they, okay, so what it is is essentially they get better sperm if they...

From me, you can say it. From me, from Paul. I have great sperm, I'm not gonna be chained. They go straight to the source. They go right... Rather than letting it travel through the pain, they go... I'm full of stuff. I don't know what it is about the pain

that dirties up the sperm, but they want to get it straight from the source. It's rusty in there. It might be. Like Paul, You're supposed to shove through a Q-tip or a pipe cleaner once a year. I do a pipe cleaner.

That happened to me, my other big surgery when I was six, they had to put a camera in there. What the fucking what? Yeah, yeah. Frick glamour shots? For sure. They were like, this is roomy.

This is bigger than it looks on the outside. But no, so they sold it to me like, it's really simple, you come in, it's outpatient. You come in, we just make a little tiny incision in your testicle and then you're home, you put ice on it, the next day you're fine. Wow. And so I was like, yeah, okay, sure.

So- Even talking about that in a casual tone, just not make it seem. People tend to talk about ball stuff as being really in a big deal, like vasectomies. Like they're like, you're up and at them next day. Yeah, I had a friend who- It feels like that probably shouldn't be.

I had a friend who got one who was trying to say like, yeah, it's no big deal. Just, yeah, I got it, it was fine. Yeah. It was great. I loved it. It was great, I felt like nothing. I'm gonna do it again.

But so I got there to do it and I got on the table and I knew I wouldn't be- How'd you get up? Like all fours? Yeah, I was just like, come on, daddy. Do it from behind. Balls first. But they, but they, they tell you, I mean, I knew I wouldn't be out for it. So I don't know why I didn't think I would be awake, but... You weren't, you weren't out for it?

No, you're not out for it. So it's like they they they numb you. I Don't like things like that slapping your face to keep you awake. No. Well, okay So they they numb you and then and then at some point he's you're sorted num. He's like do you feel this? Do you feel this? I'm like, no, I mean you can feel it Him pressure and him moving around right can't feel pain So he's like okay. This is the unpleasant part which a doctor should never say this is the unpleasant part before it happens Because then I started to faint and I was like oh god Those are my balls Last words were my balls. I had a doctor one time do this thing.

I had to get something kind of painful done. And he was like, he was doing the thing. And then it hurt. And then he goes, ready? And I said, yeah. And then he goes, I'm done. I was like, I thought the hurting part was not it yet then. Because he said, are you ready?

And then it was over. Was that a psychological trick? Yeah, but then he thought it was like funny or something. I was like, this is bad. I think people should just do what they're gonna do. Just do it. And check in every once in a while and go, are you having any discomfort?

The only funny doctor ever was House. Well, Huxley. All other doctors shouldn't try. What about me? Did I ever tell you my Hugh Laurie story really quick from when I was doing Homes and Watson and I met him in the dressing or in the trailer? And he said, someone said like,

he'd been like waiting around all day and they were like, sorry to keep you waiting all trailer. And he's, someone said like, he'd been like waiting around all day and they're like, sorry to keep you waiting all day. And he was like, the waiting's fine. It's the work I hate. How charming. Very charming. Did you see this video? There's a video of it.

I'm not done hearing about the balls by the way. No, no, none of you are. I just saw this video of a doctor giving a baby a shot. No. And the doctor distracts the baby. Right, right, right. And so you have to watch it a bunch of times to see when the shot happens.

Wow. Because the baby never cries. Right. Laughing the whole time. Well, that's cute. It's amazing. It makes you kind of go, well, we should never. Why do they do that?

Stopping babies. Exactly. Don't build it up like it's gonna be bad. Like just go like... Yes, just do it. Just let... And so I started to sort of like go out and they had to like run out and go,

get smelling salts and cool up within the other room. What's the worst that happens if you faint? Like wouldn't that be okay? Well, all the color drained out of my face, I guess. Your balls faint too. Yes, they fall asleep. Oh, okay. Then they can't do anything. It is bad for the process or she's not safe maybe.

I don't think anyone ever wants anyone to faint. Like it's probably bad for anyone to faint. It just feels like if you are already laying down and they're doing something to you that will just wait for you to get back up, but it's like. I get knocked out, but I get up again. Now I go to work on my balls.

So in any case, they got the smelling salts and I was fine. So they have the smelling salts? Yeah, like operating rooms do. Old English maid came in. What was in there? Oh dear. I don't know, but they like wave it under your nose and I was after like one wave, I was like, okay, fine.

They're like, no, we gotta keep going. Please stop doing that. I smell it. I was like, I'm awake, I get it. I smell it. It stinks, I don't like it, okay, fine. They're like, no, we gotta keep going. Please stop doing that. I know. I smell it. I was like, I'm away. I get it. I smell it. It stinks.

I don't like it. I'm away. These salts are old. This salts are old. Throw these away. These are bad salts. Give me good salts. The salt started because we said he put his ball

in his butt. We said that. But I... You put a ball in, I didn't put a ball in. I said you put his butt. I said that. But I was like, You were on a boat, I didn't put a boat, I said you hurt his butt. I wanna say that the whole, Yo, what? Fair.

I wanna say that the whole like, hey, you'll be, one day you're out, you'll be walking around after one day was bullshit. Because a month later, it took like a month of being on the couch. Ouch. It was where I was just like, it was bad It was horrible. Yeah, anyway, but hey it all Was worth it. All right. Got him. Here's my baby

This is what you do for you just pretend there's a baby all the time on podcast It's like this dark servant type situation. Do you see servant? Oh my god Servant is really it's ridiculous. Oh my God. Servant. That show is really dark. It's ridiculous. It was really scary to me for a while. Then it became a little ridiculous. When you realize, like, oh, this isn't going anywhere. Yeah, exactly.

They're never going to explain why that guy got in the crib. That's the thing. Those really weird things, they didn't pay off. No, not at all. I thought it was a really interesting story, but... It started out interesting, but it just out, but it literally went nowhere. And there's gonna be another season. There is?

Yes. I don't know, there should be a whole new story. Maybe there's gonna be a whole new doll. What are you talking about? Servant on Apple TV. Am I Shyamalan? Oh, it's just Shyamalan. Lauren Ambrose, who I love.

I think she's like amazing. I once saw him coming off a stage where I was about to be interviewed and he was just being interviewed. And I saw him and I went, oh, love. I think she's like amazing. I once saw him coming off a stage where I was about to be interviewed and he was just being interviewed and I saw him and I went, oh hi, like I knew him. Cause I thought I knew him cause he's been in all of his fucking movies. And he was like, the twist is we've never met.

He was greeted me very warmly. He was like, hi. He probably thought he met you too. Yeah, probably. People never know what's going on. Yeah, you gotta give yourself more. I feel like the older I get, the more like harsh I'm being with my mental process.

I was thinking this yesterday. Oh my God. You know how my parents are like, hold on to things and they're harsh on themselves and my mom still brings up things that she's been carrying around for 50 years of like, I remember when I scolded you 50 years ago. Oh, I didn't know that. Stuff like that. So I feel like, you know, I remember when I scolded you 50 years ago. Oh, I didn't know that stuff like that

So I feel like I was and I always go mom You got to let let stuff go but then something popped in my head the other like yesterday And I was like, I gotta do my advice to my mom and just start letting yeah Oh my god It's such a good thing to do last night I was falling asleep and I was like Remembering this fight I had with this neighbor I had and I was like She was a bitch and then I was like going on it forever

And I just wanted I was like kind of reliving it and then I mean it's not the same thing because I wasn't feeling bad I was feeling more like oh, I could have said more stuff or like they say did I let her have it enough and then you know It's like why am I even thinking about this? Yeah, I'm wasting my brain brain, just like going in circles. I had that over the summer, like one night I was lying in bed and it's like some old, like ancient thing popped into my head and I was like re-litigating it in my mind.

I'm like, what am I doing? Like I forgot all about this. It's so weird. Your brain like wants to like- Did you tell me Paul wants that you used to go to bed a lot of nights, like going through arguments in your head with the people that you would just talk to or something like that where you were like.

Oh, I had written that into a show, yeah. In a drinking show. Where I was- But you were telling it to me though. That was like- During the show. Yeah, during the show. I was, I dedicated the show to you. Well, he wrote the conversation that he had with you. But yeah, that was a common thing that I used to do is I used to go over, I used to just like ruminate on shit

and just like go over. Like what you should have said. Arguments what I should, yes. If they say this, I'm gonna say this. Oh yeah, I would have that too. I would plot it out, yes, yeah, yeah. Of course it never happens that way. Yeah.

It's such a stupid waste of time. Yeah. Do you do it about things that you think might happen or things that already did happen? I used to do it about things that I thought might happen. Yeah. Like if I was in a fight with a friend or something.

If I see that person and they bring up this thing and then I say, yeah. Yes, exactly. Well, what a piece of work is, man. Yeah, it's a really a waste of life. It's a waste of. I really feel like, and I talk about it a lot, but I'm really addicted to social media,

and I've been thinking, I really need to stop this. I would really like to spend my mind time doing something like just literally any... Money Bucks. My Money Bucks are just wasting away. Money Bucks. I meant, Money Bucks. But Money Bucks is a funny way to describe it.

You get paid in what we call Money Bugs. But I find myself just going, even if I was just sitting here, that would be better than this. Like just doing nothing would be better than this. And then reading obviously would be better than that. And doing a task or a craft or learning like I was learning piano for like a couple weeks like oh like I was supposed to do like I was supposed to do and tap dancing and then COVID struck I'm using COVID as a excuse.

Yeah COVID. I was doing it during COVID. Pianos are filthy. And I was like really enjoying it and then I stopped and I completely forgot how everything I learned. Now I just start over, but I'm like, I just don't, I have to put the phone down and go, this is the time to do something. Yeah, yeah. Well, Coulop and I were talking about like, okay, so say we do have a kid,

what has to adjust in our lives in order? And you can think of like, oh, well we're not gonna be able to do as much work or we're not gonna be able to do as much work or we're not gonna be able to travel as much. And I said, realistically, honestly, if we just stopped reading Twitter, that's enough time to take care of a kid. I know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I also think about that with like kids, like I don't wanna be on my phone all the time with my kids in the future. Like, and then thinking about people I follow who are always like, storing their time with their kids in the future. And then thinking about people I follow who are always like storying their time with their kids. And then I'm like, stop. I don't know, there's something.

What if you gave birth to a phone? Oh, that'd be really cool. But then actually as I made that point, weirdly, I just said I feel- Well, let me call Black Mirror. I wanna go back on something I said because I feel like the people I follow, like a celebrity or something who's like always doing this

with their kids, but I'm thinking about my friends who do it with their kids, I like it because I get to see the kid a lot. And I feel like I actually know the kid because we even though we live far apart, I'm like, oh, I get to see them every day. And so there's something nice about that. But people, it's like, you know when you see it kind of situation where some people do

it and it's exactly like pornography. Some people are... You know it when you see it? Some people when they... That's the famous definition of pornography from like this cream card or something. I can't define it but I know it when I see it. I see it. Like something Bill Clinton was like.

When something's obscene. No, when I see it, I see it every day. You see. Um, that there's some people that when they, the way they document their kids, it's like, this is, I, this is sweet and it's wholesome and whatever. And then there's other people where it's like, this is just content. Yes. There is a difference.

There's a big difference. And that's where it feels bad. Well, but we like making content with our dogs. That's fine. And it's fun for us. You said dogs, right? Yeah, yeah, I said dogs. But you know what I mean?

But that's different. We're dressing them up in order to take a picture and share it. The dog isn't thinking anything of that. A child eventually would. Yeah, true. I trip out on that, the kids that are, like I follow this.

I follow this. You follow kids. I think she's a little town. This little this little Asian baby who is so adorable and is the excuse me mama or no. No, you know what I'm talking about. Yes. This child is preverbal.

OK. She is the the verbal like in the usual suspect. Yeah.-verbal. Okay. She is the... Verbal like in the usual suspects? Yeah, pre-verbal kint. What a name. What a name. That's a person's name. That's the main character. That's the main character. Verbal kint.

What an actor, what a name. What a story. What a life. Yes. Weird. The account is my.ahin. My ahin, I don't know how to say it. I do not know how to say it out loud. Okay. The account is my. Dot A H I N my. Ahin. Ahin.

I don't know how to say it. I do not know how to say it out loud. Okay. This baby has a real person. She's a little toddler. Real personality. She's really funny. Her parents have given her the worst haircut.

But she's, she's hilarious. And it's like this kid. You could tell that the parents are just fascinated by this child. Like she's hilarious and it's like this kid, you can tell that the parents are just fascinated by this child. Like she's hilarious. She's really cute. There's just something about her. Right.

And you can tell like they're looking at her like just shaking their heads like I can't believe, you know what a weirdo she is. I'm following. Yeah, it's absolutely worth your follow. Absolutely. Wow. We have to take what I call a break. No, really? I do. I'm sorry

guys, but it's just we're doing so well. I know we were really going along with a quick clip there. Hey, really were just real quick. I gotta tell you guys, I got TMZ surgery. Oh no. Yes, they put they grafted part of a cubicle on my chest. Oh, no, in a big sippy cup. Yeah Welcome back to three We are about to play a threacher. Oh, get your stupid is ready. Get your stupid ass is ready because we do this every episode We're not gonna stop now and don't be dumb about it. Just enjoy it So stupid it enjoyed this shit, but sit back and enjoy the three chairs This is submitted by Jonathan hi Jonathan, Jonathan. Is this the amazing Jonathan?

No, just regular. Oh, regular Jonathan. This is submitted by the acceptable Jonathan. It's called nicknaming. Now here's how we play. Someone is introducing a newer friend to an old friend. The old friend has to come up with a nickname to call the mutual friend,

and the backstory has to be up with a nickname to call the mutual friend and the back story has to be explained to the new friend. Option to be explained by the mutual friend alone or tag team with the old friend. I think if one person has to explain the nickname, that is the way it should go. So the old friend gives the nickname to the mutual friend, the burden is on the mutual friend to explain the nickname to the mutual friend. The burden is on the mutual friend to explain the nickname to the new friend. Okay. So the person introducing the nickname has to explain it?

Does that... No, the person introducing the nickname saddles the person with the nickname and the explanation. Yeah. Okay, got it. Yes. Okay, so why don't Paul, why don't you introduce me to Lauren and we'll test this out? Yes. Okay, so we're at a party.

What? Hey, stop double dipping. The premise is already too extreme. What? How? What year is it? Hey man. Okay.

Oh, it's so good to see you. Hey. How have you been? I've been pretty good. I mean, you know, 2020 was a dumpster fire. Someone said that once and I thought it was so funny and I thought I would say it. I had that on my bingo card that somebody would say that to me. Bingo cards.

Funny. Oh my gosh, look who's here. Oh, hey. I can't believe, to have both of you in the same room. Oh, we've never met. Hi. This is Lauren. This is Scott Hi, it's me to I of course know him as The intimidator oh wow yes, that's how you know him. Yeah, I call him the intimidator okay, why well they call me

When I say they I mean Paul calls me the intimidator, no one else calls me that. Intimidator. The intimidator, yes, of course. Because the first time I ever met Paul, he was down on the ground, he was scrubbing the floor at the job that he used to have, which was, he used to work at Arby's, and he would, anytime anyone would walk in,

he would say, sir, this is an Arby's. This is an explanation of his nickname by the way. Yeah, it's very about you. Yeah. And anyway, he was down there scrubbing on the floor and I walked in and he said, sir, this is an Arby's. I said, yes, I know, I'm here to order Arby's food. And I was standing above him.

I always say that when I go into a fast food. Of course, of course. Have you ever some Burger King food? I was standing above him and I was so... Can I have a bag of Burger King food, please? Just a bag, just whatever you can fit in a bag. Sounds good right now, honestly. Here's how much money I have.

Give me a bag of food. Give me whatever size bag we'll buy. Just a bag of some Burger King food. So I was standing above him and I tried to step over him in order to get to the counter. Above, over, I wonder if he'll ever go under. And well, no, because I ended up tripping and stomping on Paul's back.

Ouch. And to where I was like standing with one foot on him and he was helpless, he was on his back helpless like a little turtle on its back. He stood on my back and I was on my back. Yeah, I really was confused about the visual. And he thought that was very intimidating, but that's not why I'm called the Intimidator.

That's just backstory. Yeah, literally. So cut to, smash cut to in fact. Oh yeah, I see someone I wanna talk to. Oh. What? Hey, I liked her, Paul. Well, not even, I have to go to the bathroom. I see someone I wanna talk to.! I liked her, Paul. Well, not even.

I have to go to the bathroom. I see someone I want to talk to. I really liked her. Do you think she likes me back? No. What? I think... I think it's like...

But she's sceptered and listened to most of my story. Was that most of it? Or was that... Yeah, there's only one sentence left. Okay, now, Scott. Yeah now Scott introduce me to Paul. Okay, this is a different party? Yes. This is a sock hop.

Hey Daddy-O. Hey Daddy-O. Hey Daddy-O. Yeah, what's up? I was just listening to the sock hop music. Hey, I want you to meet a good friend of mine This is this is Lauren, but I call her mommy. Oh, oh mommy. Oh, that's an interesting Yeah, where does that come from?

Well, it's so interesting. It's all by the way. Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm I call him Daddy. Oh, yeah My name is Paul. I'm Lauren. It's not a nickname. It's just what we call everyone these days. Yeah, Scott I'm a father of my last name is Ogilvy Scott my last name is Redenbacher by the way, okay, I don't know if that's Important to anyone is that germane? so Scott like wakes up every day crying in his crib and He's hired me to change his diaper and sort of

Play with him on the floor like teach him how to roll over and lift his head and stuff And so he calls me mommy. Oh because he that's what he pays me to be So I'm actually surprised that he was willing to share that information with you given how personal it really is. He has a super, super fetish about being treated like a baby. And I think him calling you daddy, oh, he uses the sort of time period as an excuse. But it's truly-

Well, I'm found out, yes. I want you to be my daddy, Mr. Ogilvy. Oh, I have to go. Why? To talk to someone else? I don't wanna be here anymore. Oh, I have to go. Why? To talk to someone else? I don't want to be here anymore. Goodbye! Goodbye! I have to go, why?

Why? Why do you have to go so bad? Oh, wait, so who's left? Me. Scott, the answer will always be me. If the, if you guys have gone already. Lauren introduces you to me. Is that what it is?

Yeah. Or no, you would. I haven't given Paula a nickname. Okay, got it. And what kind of party are we at? It is a funeral. It's a gender reveal funeral. Oh, general.

Sorry, gender reveal funeral. We're going to finally figure it out. What this grandpa's judgment is. What a somber but exciting occasion. I know. Well, he was always so secretive about. Or she. He or she wearing baggy clothes.

Never could quite figure it out. But this is very exciting. I mean, I'm sad that it took this long. I think it's kind of twisted that we're doing this, to be honest. Can we just let this person go? This is very exciting. I mean I'm sad that it took this long Can we just let this person go wait a second I oh have you met Scott? Yeah, I know both of you. Oh Yeah, but you don't know each other Who's the mutual? I'm introducing you yes, okay. Oh you guys are friends. Maybe you've just seen me on TV. Yeah, that's probably what it is.

Oh yeah, that's probably what it is. Scott was on cops. He's the guy who ran away from the 7-Eleven for you to do. 18 consecutive episodes. Yes, Lauren and I are old friends, but you're a different friend. So Scott, this is my friend Paul, but Paul, I know Paul Morris, Big Bird's Bestie.

Big Bird's Bestie. Yeah, they call me, Lauren calls me Big Bird's Bestie. Why? I mean, is it some sort of snuffle up against reference or? No, I'd be happy to tell you. The reason that Lauren calls me. Stay here, Scott. Big Bird's, don't go anywhere.

Oh no, I really wanna go. Just stay for a minute, he's gonna tell you. All right, all right. The doors are locked. It's a locked door gender reveal funeral. But maybe I could just do laps around the... Nope. No?

Okay. Just tell him what you wanted to say. Here's why Lauren calls me Big Bird's Bestie. Lauren was born in Albuquerque, New Mexico. And at the time that she was born... Where my brother was born. There were strange laws in place. They called them blue laws, which is on Sundays you could not do certain things.

One thing you were not allowed to do in Albuquerque, New Mexico was to pretend you had seen TV shows that you had not seen. Oh, on just one day a week or one day a year? Yes, you could do it any other time, but on Sundays you had not seen. Oh, on just one day a week or one day a year? Yes, you could do it any other time, but on Sundays you had to. If you hadn't seen a show, you would admit you hadn't seen that show. So would people wait until Sundays

and try to catch people? Maybe if you stop asking questions, I will answer all of them. I mean, it's totally silent because I could just turn around and walk away. No, no, no, I didn't tell you that Big Bird Bestie is really, he wants to get his point out before you respond. Yeah, I mean, I thought this was more of a dialogue. It's tell you that Big Bird Bestie is really, he wants to get his point out before you respond.

Yeah, I mean, I thought this was more of a dialogue. It's kind of how Big Bird Bestie is. A party is like where people talk to each other, not at each other. Scott, you can call him Triple B if you want. Well, a story is where someone tells a story and the other person listens. And the other person never gets to ever talk.

I actually want to talk to somebody else. Yeah, I want to talk to somebody else. You're both free to do that. Okay, bye. Bye. Good game. Good game. I want to talk to somebody else. You're both free to do that. Okay, bye. Bye. Good game. Good game. It's always a good game when we end up hitting each other.

I don't think anyone got to explain it. We never get to point out. I don't think anyone got to explain it. Did you? I did, I guess. Oh, okay. Well, good shit. Did you? I did, I guess. Oh, okay. Well, good shit.

Really good shit. Good shit, dude. All right. We're all done for another episode. Night has fallen. The sun has gone down. I got a message in my jury portal. Oh, are you?

Do you have to go? I had to check it out when I had to log in to my jury portal. Lauren's on call for jury duty this week. Can I say I'm jealous? I don't like jury duty. I love the jury portal, Lawrence, I'm called for jury duty this week. Can I say I'm jealous? I don't like jury duty. I love the jury portal though. I love being judged. It's really fun to use the portal.

I feel like I'm flying through space and time. I'll say, Janie, I can't do anything right now. I'm entering the portal. Guys, next episode, we're gonna talk about if we've ever done jury duty before. Nice! And I bet none of us have. I have.

Oh, okay. I have. Oh, I have. All right. Well, we're going to talk about that next episode until then. That's our promise. That's hey, will we remember? We'll see you next week. We are definitely going to talk about whether or not we've done jury duty. Okay, we'll see. All right. Bye, everyone. Bye. Oh, wait. What? We're on Instagram, freedom USA. We we post reference photos for each week's episode why not and it's fun. So follow us Don't follow it. Yeah, freedom USA Twitter and Instagram. We love you. Goodbye. Love you. Bye. I'm not gonna say I love you

No, I love you I'm not gonna throw that around so casual anymore