Threedom - Threevisiting: Ms. Small

Episode Date: January 21, 2025

Threevisiting on the Tues: Scott, Paul & Lauren discuss horseback riding, matcha and Instagram robot voice before playing Cursory Rhyme. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Listen ad-free and unlock bi-weekly THREEMIUMS on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, I'm Reshma Sajjani, founder of Girls Who Code. Look, I'd consider myself a pretty successful adult woman. I've written books, founded two successful nonprofits, and I'm raising two incredible kids. But here's the thing. I still wake up wondering, is this it? And if the best years are yet to come, when's that going to start? Join me on my so-called midlife, my new podcast with Lemonada Media, where we're building

a playbook for navigating midlife, one episode at a time. Each week, I'll chat with extraordinary guests who've transformed their midlife crisis into opportunities for growth and newfound purpose. At some point, we all ask ourselves, is there more to life? I'm here to discover how to thrive in my second act, right alongside you. My so-called midlife is out now,

wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Coolop Eulisak. And I'm Soojin Park. And we're your aunties on Add to Cart, a podcast all about the things we buy, the things we buy into, and what that says about who we are. We're real life friends who love to talk about what we're adding to cart. Sometimes that means trying the latest snail serum to slather on our faces, or a sweater that screams one third ugly.

That's right, Soo. Each week we dive into honest, oftentimes TMI conversations about what's taking up space in our shopping carts and in our minds, be it products, trends, or something for our auntie book club. We also bring guests on the show and take a peek into their carts because the things a person buys or doesn't says a lot about them.

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Freedom! Oh, ha-ha-ha That of course was the Popeye remix P-p-p-p-Popeye remix Pfft Hi everyone, welcome to Freedom Sup! Sup indeed P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P- They're constructing a soundproof studio. What? Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay. Beep, bop, boop, boop, boop, boop. As I was telling Paul before you got here, Lauren. I'm Paul. I'm Lauren.

And I'm Scott. We never know when they're gonna show up. Yeah. It goes days and days. Oh my God, there's multiple houses on my street being redone. Remixed. And just be months with no action,

and then suddenly it's like they're there all day and night. Here's what I like about that, is that I think it keeps construction fresh. It does. You never know what's going to happen. Exactly. You have to have surprise. It's the spice of construction. I was also mentioning the shouting is new. They're shouting now a lot. Oh my God. Yesterday or a couple of days ago this... These didn't work silently.

There's one new guy. One new guy is like having fun. He's shouting about other stuff. I thought they were yelling at the new guy, but no, the new guy is having a great time. The new guy is just having a ball. I love construction! About a ladder! A little bit ladder now.

Yes, exactly. That's what I say to a stepladder. Can I just say that my neighbor's house is under construction and then the other day there was this person just going, Hello? Hello? Over and over walking around their property. And I was peeking out the window trying to see what was going on. And then they left, but I was like, what do they think is gonna happen here?

Oh, you saw the person yelling hello? I did, but then I, and I was right next to them. They didn't see me. I thought it was like an Edgar Allen Poe situation where someone was being built into the house. Oh, oh, well, was a person built into that? Yeah, they like built. The casque of Amontadio.

Oh, I thought, the telltale heart is about that? No, the telltale heart is about a heart beating. Me, that's what I thought. Me, that's what I thought. No, the casque of Amontadio. Me, that's what I thought. You wrote another thing about a body in a house? These are all parodied on the Comedy Bang Bang Halloween episode.

Yeah, don't worry. Okay, I guess I'll check that out and I'll learn what's going on. If you were freaking out, don't worry. Comedy Bang Bang TV show has it covered. Motel Tail Heart and this one. Motel Heart? The Motel Heart. Motel Heart.

Yeah, Casca by Montedio, and I pray to God I'm saying that name correctly, a guy bricks another guy into a wall and the guy on the wall can't do anything about it. Well, he certainly can't. I mean, he could have fought. He could have pushed the bricks before they dried. Now look, I haven't read the story, so I don't know, but maybe he was tied up. Yeah, that would be helpful. But not gagged and the whole time and all times like please don't do this

It's a long project though to get someone trapped inside a wall I think most of the world built already and there was a little alcove months The torture yeah, exactly like oh man this wall is like The guy takes breaks and the guy inside is like come on You're gonna do it it, do it. Just do it. I want to die already. Don't make me watch you eat your sandwich. Now, does he die in that story or does he just lives there?

Oh, what about, he just lives there. He has a little TV. I feel like he's just like trapped in there and he lives there. I don't know. I think he died. I think he's got to die. Do you think he's dead by now? It's been what, 100 years? The story was set in 1971. It was his only futuristic story.

And he was six years old and it was 71. So he's probably like 57 at this point right now or so. Hey. Oh, he's six years old, okay. For a second I was gonna say. You're offended? He's turning 58. Well I thought that would make me so much older. Oh. Turning 58, I think he's six years old, okay. For a second I was gonna say. Turning 58. I thought that would make me so much older!

Turning 58, I think he's turning 58. I really think so. Bababideedee, bababee. Guys, I have an update. Here's my impression of Nextdoor. Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I'm having fun! Sorry, you have an update? Okay, so, um, I think I told you I have first of all, I have a Valentine's update. Wow, oh my, I need to hear if you do. You have a Valentine's update? Valentine's update.

What happened? Uh, I asked... He's looking for someone, he's looking for someone, he's looking for someone, helicopter! That's a loud one, Jesus. He's really looking for someone, he's looking for someone, helicopter. I asked. That's a loud one, Jesus. He's really looking for someone. What did you do? I asked Cool Up, I was like,

hey, you don't care that I didn't get you anything. And she's like, no. And she's like, we're just, this is what the trip. We're just friends. No. Take your hand off my knee. I don't think of you that way. No, we're just friends.

We're on a friend trip. She said, this is what the trip is for. So we can do this. And I was like, well, thank you. Thank you for setting it up. And I was like, do you mind if I record a video of you saying that to Lauren? And she said, OK.

And then she went, no. She goes, no, I'm with Lauren. She shouldn't be on the record saying she never wants a paperback. Right. Anyway, so case closed. All right, well, case closed. You got through this one.

Now, how about you, Paul? Nothing. You didn't do anything, didn't acknowledge it? Did you say happy Valentine's Day? And in fact, yeah, we do that. We say it. We kind of say it in a jokey way. Okay. You know what I mean?

But in a cute way. But OK. You know what I mean? But in a cute way. But she checked with me this year. She was like, you don't mind we don't do anything, right? And I was like, no, I hate it. Wow. So we were fine. Everyone just taking the temperature.

We did go to a bakery the day before Valentine's Day, and I got a bunch of baked goods, including some that had hearts in them and stuff like that. And we put them out for the whole family the next day. That's very nice. And to help. And we... God, what a...

Octavia Spencer was there. Line them up in a line outside. How kind. Some of them had human shit in them. How kind. Oh my God. But yes, so that was nice. I love it.

We renewed our vows. On Valentine's Day? Yeah, I don't know if that was nice. Wow. I love it. We renewed our vows. On Valentine's Day? Yeah, I don't know if that's anything. We do it every week. Well that's nice. Wow. That's commitment. I've never been invited.

Thursday night. Come back. Thursday night. Vowel review. God, that would get so exhausting. Vowel review. Yeah. Hey, let's take stock.

Let's still just do a line through on some of these. Do you know why I feel like it's a little loud? I do too, but I didn't want to say anything. Okay, you want me to turn you guys down? First you were too quiet. Hey, let's take stock. Let's still just do a line through on some of these. Do you know what I feel like it's a little loud? I do too, but I didn't want to say anything. Okay, you want me to turn you guys down? First you were too quiet, now it's too loud? First I was too quiet, now it was too loud. First I was too quiet, now it was too loud.

I also have one other update. Okay, Jesus Christ. Scott's updates. Okay, King over here. Scott's updates. We were out of town town and it was like, we went up to San Dines and we did like a wine tasting trip. Sounds so beautiful.

By the way, anywhere in Los Angeles, anywhere in California other than San Francisco, I always say we went down there. Right, yeah, you say too. I have no idea what anything is. Did I say that? No, you said we went down there. No, you said we went up there.

Oh, okay. You said it correctly. I had to, because I always, it's just a colloquial, like we went down to whatever. Right. When you grew up in Southern, We went down to shore. When you grew up in California, it's just like, we went down to whatever.

So I used to say it to like, we went down to San Francisco and people would be like, down, you went up. That's very strange. Oh my God. But San Diego is below us, yes? Yes. So to me, everything is either San Francisco or San Diego. Yeah.

Right. I would say I went up to Sacramento, but I would never. Why would you? I used to live there. What's there to do? The state Capitol? Yes, of course. You did?

I don't think we covered this. I used to walk by the state Capitol. Say, weren't you the governor? Yes. Okay, so what happened? No, she's a senator. So we did one of the wine tastings we were at as we were leaving.

This was very nice, I thought. Didn't say hello to us at the beginning. Who? And make us self-conscious. There was a nice couple. Nice couple who was at one of the tables next to us who said hello. They're big fans of the show.

Oh, how nice. And they said, by the way, we were listening to it on the way up here. they said, by the way, we were listening to it on the, on the way up here. They said, by the way, uh, you are correct. Your streak is good. Oh, with a Peloton. With a Peloton. So case closed.

Wow. Wow. Another case closed. Wow. That was very kind. We got feedback from one person. That was really nice. That was really nice of them to be on your side.

Yes. I like that. I, my thing on your side. Yes. I like that. My thing on the streak... I wish I could say the same. I wish maybe I'd elucidated it a little bit more. Sometimes... You elucidated! Elucidate me.

Sometimes it's literally the only motivating factor to get me on one week, you know what I mean? And so to have gone for a full year... No, that's huge! And had it in my mind of like, okay, I'm really busy this week, but the weekend I'll get back on, I'll continue the streak. And then to have the Internet down all weekend was just like crushing to me of like, of like, oh, no, all this work. So anyway, so I did extra the following week when the when the streak

or when the Internet was back. And it's like a reverse Mr. Big. You kept living. Mr. Small. You kept living. But this is small. This is small. Ms. Small. Is that what he called Kerry?

Hey, Ms. Small. Did you ever know he was called Big or did he ever know he was called Big? Well, that's a good question. You know, I feel like this comes up all the time. Do you remember when at the end of the- What? Do you remember when at the end of the, was it the movie?

No, it wasn't, where they showed his end of the series? His apartment? Where her phone and it said John was calling. Yes, it was the end of the series. Could he have a name that wasn't just John? Yeah. After all this time. Like Larry or something.

Something just kind of- Larry. To give him like- this time like Larry like something something kind of to give him like John is like in fiction the most like Masculine name you could you know is like in fiction yeah, and also slang for a patron of sex workers yeah true toilet big old big big John so many things are called John a toilet including a patron of sex workers a dick

Is dick called a John no Johnson well I shortened it You got me yeah the surgery Case anyone wants to know Mike really liked his foot themed present. Oh, what was What was it? It was like a toenail scraper. Crocs, gibets, and baby foot. Quentin Tarantino collection. Crocs, gibets, and baby foot? Yeah, I told you about it. What was the baby foot?

It takes away your feet calcium. Oh, that's right. It takes away your feet. Has he tried it? No, we're gonna do it together. Oh, nice. It's always fun. So you bought yourself one?

Yeah. So this is a present to yourself? It's a couple's present. Well, that part was. A couple's present a couple's present that was romantic got some mask I'm not I'm not I'm looking at the Sun cuz I thought about it I am conditioned now to wince at me you got scared I said it and it was in the rhythm and I was like he's gonna say and also I turned my head

because suddenly the sun started shining on my back. I was like, how do I get it? It's chilly today. It's very chilly. So I'm actually kind of okay with it, but at the same time, I don't know. I'm glad that it's not blazing hot like it was the other day. I know.

What's going on California? Global Warfare. Weather report. Weather report and climate change. So she got these masks and she was like oh this one is good I got to be Cher for a little bit Lucky I know if I could See her live I want to see live. That'd be great. I think it would be great.

What if she doesn't exist? She's a computer generated image. I feel pretty confident she's not. Like S1, M0, NE? What? Simone. How would you know, Phil? Simone.

And she, I'm not opposed to things like that because I think it can be relaxing. She's got things like facial masks. Facial masks, got it. Was it like sheet masks where you lay it on your face or was it like a cream or gel you put on? Was it like a baloney stuff, Oscar Mayer thing? That's what it was. It was a package of balona. Balogna. It had a first name.

Now have you seen those, the face masks? I think I told you about it. And they sold out of them immediately. Yes, I think you did. I literally told this story. Okay, Lauren. It's for the listener at home, just to be calmed down. I just want to make sure that everyone knows that I know about this.

I'm not trying to erase these, got it. Yes. But then it was like, it was like nine at night or something. We had come back from somewhere. You always knew about that. I think it was after Jackass and we got home. Uh-huh. Paul and I saw Jackass together. We already talked about that too.

Oh yeah, we talked about that. We held hands during the scary part. You guys, we talked about the same stuff. Oh gosh, testicles. Okay, then what? Another penis. And I wanted, it sounded like very nice and she said, but then you gotta wash your face first.

And I was like, I'm out. That's all it took. I couldn't, like because I was all settled on the fucking couch. Another step. And I was like, I'm out. That's all it took. I couldn't, like, because I was all settled on the fucking couch. And I was like, it is really annoying. Like, lay it on to my face if you want. But if I have to get up and go to the sink first, no. Yeah.

Yeah. Can't do it. I get it. Na ga da. Na ga da. Na ga da. Na ga da. I hate sheet masks, though.

Can't wash my face. They feel so, I don't like it. I did one one time and it was like, okay. It didn't really, I didn't get the, I think I built up the feeling in my head of how like relaxing or whatever it was gonna be or how good it was gonna feel. And it was just like this wet thing on my face.

Those don't feel relaxing because they're slimy and they're likeimy and they're like Yeah, I do that every day yeah, I'm constantly putting food on my is that good for something or is it just like I think it's Too deep puff. Okay. I don't know. It's not just something that it's like fun to do It's not just for like rom-com so you can take a quirky bite out of it after you Chat, you know when they're when they're laying in a spa and then like the girl goes Not just for like rom-coms so you can take a quirky bite out of it after you have a little chat. What rom-com is that? When they're laying in a spa and then like the girl goes, I've never seen that. To button scene.

I've never seen that. It's definitely happened a million times. A million times? I can't name one. It's happened once probably and it's stuck in your head. Yeah, but it's definitely something that like you would do if you're being funny. Do we watch Marry Me, the romantic comedy? I wanted to watch this, but I couldn't figure out my peacock.

Cool, I watched it the other night and she asked me to and I said no. Janie got me at the right time. She was like, this is on TV right now. What if you have access to it? Wash your face first. I probably would've stayed in the bathroom. I wanna watch it, how was it?

I'm still watching my face. I love a classic. I heard it was good. It is classic in many ways. Who did you hear was good from cool up? Okay? It definitely scratches that particular itch. I'm sure I would like it It's weird. There's a lot of weird stuff about it. There's weird music in it because she plays a singer. I Always find it weird. She's famous in it. Yes. Oh, she's hugely Like more famous than JLo

Yes They reference JLo in the movie. Oh, she wishes she was me. I Find it strange in rom-coms when they are Like, you know how they can only greenlight movies when people are a certain like star status Yeah, and there are there are so few of them left these days, especially younger people. So they greenlight these rom-coms with people who are in their 50s.

Do they acknowledge, like, oh, I've had three marriages already? Like, why is someone single when they're 55 years old? They don't acknowledge age, but they do say, they do allude, they refer to J.Lo's characters having been married many times. Like she's a famous person who's had all these romances that didn't work out.

Okay, so that's okay for her, because that, yes, that is her story actually. So, but it's just odd to me, like when they don't, when they're trying to pretend everyone is 30. You know what I mean? They're sort of... This could be anybody, like somebody... The character could be any age, honestly.

They don't do anything specific to being at that stage of life. And I'm not saying that people need to get married by 35 or whatever. You're launching it. It's just, like, you think it would come up in their conversation even of like, okay, you're 55, why are you not married?

Why have you never been married? Yes, Owen Wilson is, I believe his wife died and JLo has been... Everyone's thrilled about it in the movie. Like, oh great, she's here. We hate her. House fell on her. Yeah.

We think someone pushed it. Paul, do you want to talk about our show that we did? I do want to talk about it. It was so fun. I haven't watched it yet, but you've watched it? I watched Bits and Pieces, so I was just curious how it looked and if they were like switching between the cameras a lot. It looks really good. So we did a show at Dining City Typewriter for no audience.

It was just live streamed, so there's literally just like little chuckles from the camera people. Were you pausing for where the laughs would be? Yeah, so we really milked that. So it was like that Big Bang Theory without the laughs? Yeah, it was like 10 minutes of silence within. It was tough to judge, like, what do you think would get a big, big laugh, and what would get a small laugh,

because we're improvising. It's not written out. So sometimes we were on the same page. Sometimes we were like, I thought that would get a cue. Okay, before people think that's what we did, we didn't do that. I was like, no one reacted. Actually, it was one of the weirdest things

because I think we've been doing these shows on Zoom or whatever for the most of the pandemic where we can see people responding in the chat. Yes. So they're like, ha ha ha, like, you know, talking or whatever. So we know people are watching. And they're there, yeah.

Yeah. Right. That was the most I've ever felt like nobody knew So they're like, ha ha ha, or talking or whatever. So we know people are watching. And they're there, yeah. Right. That was the most I've ever felt like nobody knew that that happened. Yeah. Like it was the most, it took me back to my early days of improv where I'd perform for literally five people at the Playground Theater in Chicago or something.

It'd be like, we would only cancel the show if there were less than two people or something. It was like the rules were like. Meaning one. Yeah, or I think It was like the rules were like. Meaning one. Yeah, or I think it was two or less, you know? But you could decide and sometimes you'd still do it. And like thinking, it felt like that. Cause it was like, it was so pure.

I really felt like, but I got really depressed after. Whoa, interesting. Like when I got home, I had like a major come down. But I think it meant that I was like really happy during it. Oh, okay. I had a great time. That's always the sign of being happy is when you're super depressed.

No, I have that a lot after good shows where I will get really sad after and just feel like, ugh, nothing matters. Oh no. Oh, Jesus. Why do you do this? No, it's like nothing is as fun as that or something. I don't know how to explain it.

For me, I can't sleep when I have shows like that. It's either, especially after like a big show that I'll put together because there's so much, like, sort of submerged anxiety about it. And like, actually having pulled it off and it's done. And now it's like, I'm so excited, not just that I had a fun time, but that I don't have to do it anymore,

that I'm wired for the whole night. Well, I definitely get wired, but then I'm just kind of spiraling at the same time. It's like. Oh, no. No, but I don't, it's not a complaint. I don't know how to. I know it's not a complaint.

You love it. It makes me sad. No, it's not even sad. It's not. I'm sad. Okay. Let me have my feelings. I'm sad that you never felt like this

on the Bang Bang tour. You don't know, I was depressed every night. You're always like this on the bang bang tour Care about that Joe That is not true. I feel like I I truly have that sort of After wild horses I often we would all kind of horses off wild horses often have that oh That we would we'd be driving home and then text each other like, oh my God, I'm like, ugh. Bleh. It's just like, because also with that show, we share a lot of personal information.

And then it's like, you feel like you like just shared, overshared or something and it feels crazy. Yeah. I feel like that every time we do one of these episodes. No, Scott. Depressed for five days. I blame it on these. A full work week.

Anyway, you can watch the show if you want to. It's on Dynasty Typewriter's website, Video Vault. The way we did it was we used the stage, we used the seats. We instantly wanted to do it again, and next time we're gonna have a camera that can follow us anywhere. Which I'm so excited about.

Yeah, me too. I think that's gonna be really cool. Anywhere like, it's a drone. Like you can go outside and go to your houses and stuff. Yeah, it's a drone. So it'll be really far away and like. We'll go see the Amazon warehouse. Yeah, so like we can go outside if we want and do a scene out there.

Or go to the concession stand or go to the back room or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was really fun. It was a very, it was a unique experience. It was. Because it was a full show It was a very, it was a unique experience. It was. Because it was a full show. And also because there's no laughs, we have to just keep going the whole time. How long did you guys do?

Three minutes? We did like a little over an hour. I sort of felt like more committed than I've been to like, well, first of all, I haven't been on stage in two years. But I felt very committed. But you know, I think part of it too is like, we've been doing these shows on Zoom with filters. Like we use Snapchat filters.

And then that's silly. There's a level of like, kind of just, you are just goofing off. Where it's so fun. But like this was different where we were like, there's no sign of whether it's going well. There's no reaction. You can't get distracted for a second.

You can't, you have to just keep going. And it was, I loved that. Yeah. It was really,. That's fun. It was really fun. Yeah, if you want to check it out, Dynastytypewriter.com, Paulfthomkins.com slash live.

You can see links. What's that? Your website? That's my website. There's a link to the archive of our shows. I should put that on my website. You should. And also the archive of Varietopia,

my variety show. Wow, I've never thought to do that. Do I need to wash my face first? You don't need to, but it enhances the experience. Does it really? Before you put it on. I, before I watch anything online, I wash my face. Just to make sure.

Just to cleanse. Yeah, I don't want to watch with a dirty face. There's this one video that keeps popping up on my Instagram that I refuse to watch because it takes too long to get to the point. And then I keep missing it. I'm like, no, I want to know what it is, but I can't fast forward it.

What is it? It's a kid who's like going to ask some girl to be his Valentine and he's like five and he's holding a bouquet of flowers and wearing a suit. And he's at her door and everyone keeps going like, this is so sweet. And I just like can't bother to click. Whose idea was it? His or? That's what you gotta wonder.

It's the parents. Yeah. You don't think this little five year old is horny as hell? I just walk around stiff as a bird. Or wants to get married for injurious purposes? Tax purposes. I have this pet peeve now of people that put, first of all, a lot of problems with Instagram videos.

Yeah, lots of problems here. This is also, it's like Instagram videos and TikToks. Let's break it down. What are the problems? A lot of, a lot of pet and baby videos don't need music. You don't have to put a fucking loud song on there. Let the pets and the babies be the star. If it ain't, guess what?

The music is not what makes it good. No. And you know what else is annoying? That fucking robot voice. Yes. I'll type in something, I was going to ask my girlfriend to go to the prom, or whatever it's like.

Yes. I've come to hate that voice so much. Just do, record your own voiceover. Exactly. Just record your own voiceover. Just put the words on there. Well yeah, that's fine too, but maybe it's for hearing impaired people? For blind people.

What are they getting out of the video? Well I guess I don't know. I'm giving enthusiastic assent like I know what you guys are talking about, but I don't know any examples of these. You don't know about the robot voice? Maybe I don't want to speak. We know your OOT. People will put... his autoail response is out of touch.

I'm out of touch all week. I don't get anything for a week. But no, it's like this thing where if you put a caption on your video, you can have it read by a robot. Awesome! This robot lady. Oh wait, she's a lady robot too? He thinks he is going to go to church, but his friends have a surprise. It's like so, it's even worse than that though.

It's like there's something about the way that it's- Oh sorry. I did my best. There's something about the way that it, the voice sounds, it's like even less natural. She says it's worse. I know, I'm doing what I can. Paul, you're doing horribly. Do better.

You didn't, you didn't explain it to anyone. Scott still doesn't know what it's like. I'm lost. When Paul talks about it, I'm lost. But I get it a little bit. This dog hasn't seen his owner since before the war. Oh, yes. Since before the war! Which war? The oldest dog in history.

He's a million. This dog is 208 years old. You know those videos where like dogs are crying on graves? Oh Jesus. You know, it's- I've seen a couple. It's really- I've seen a couple.

It's really, you're like- Well, it's like, as soon as I know that's what it is, I will fucking flip past that. Yeah, I don't, I don't need that. Yeah. When we went away this weekend, I forgot my keys or something, and I was gone literally 60 seconds and I went back in and Georgia jumped on me like, please don't ever do that again. She's like, oh thank God, because she knew all the signs of like us with suitcases and stuff. She's like, oh thank God. She's like, what, thank God. Because she knew all the signs of like us with suitcases and stuff. She's like, oh, thank God. She's like, what were you? You're just packing up the car.

When I see a dog, I love videos of dogs being reunited with someone or if the dog was found after being lost or something. And the dog sees the kid, and then they're reunited, and the dog is going crazy. I love the point where the dog has to go away for a little bit and then go back. Like, I'm gonna go run around over here

and then I'm gonna come back and jump on the floor. Well, Georgia, whenever she gets excited because like Cool Up is coming home or something, she like runs around, goes by the door and then grabs a toy and choose it really. Or like grabs a ball, like, okay, it's go time, it's go time, it's good, and that's the thing she loves the most in the world.

Okay, here's my pet peeve. Yeah. People that put wait for it on a video. I don't wanna wait. When it doesn't, I don't wanna wait. When it doesn't, I knew that. The Dawson's Creed. Yeah.

When it doesn't need a wait for it. No. It's just like, no, this is just the natural end of the video. The wait for it. That's not a wait for it. Wait for it is like. Should we reserve for like a six minute video?

No. You think six is like- Should we reserve for like a six minute video? No. You think six is the cutoff? Yeah. Cause I tend to think like a minute before the thing happening is too long. But then I go, well, why don't you just edit the top of the video? No, I'm saying like, I don't want to wait at any point.

I don't care if it's very long. I think a wait for it is only for something where it's- You're watching the video confused, it seems uneventful. Yes. Yeah. But you got it. You got to watch because there's a payoff, but people are using it for a thing that just happens in a video. It's like, that's not a way for it. It's like these actions are leading to this.

That's the same as writing a long fucking tweet and then going, that's it. That's the tweet. And it's like, yeah, it is. You wrote a long tweet. You get that only works if you're saying like Viola Davis. That's it, that's the tweet. And it's like, yeah, it is. You wrote a long tweet. That only works if you're saying like Viola Davis, that's it, that's the tweet. Like, you know what I mean? Like it needs to have no-

Oh, I didn't know people were doing that. Oh, people will do like a longer thing and then say, that's it, that's the tweet. And then I'm like, yeah. That's a long ass tweet is what it is. We know that's the tweet because it is the tweet, stop. It's like the rent free in your head thing where people started using it incorrectly

and I got taken for a fool. Yeah, I know. I think that, I mean, I've talked about this, but I think Harris's humble brag is used incorrectly all the time and it drives me crazy. All the time. And people now say it in TV shows all the time. Yeah.

Do they really? Yes. Oh yeah, it's a big part. It's like, you know how like, What shows are they? unfunny people, like unfunny comedy writers just use references to other things funny people have said. Absolutely, yeah.

So they're like, oh, humble brag. Humble brag much? You know, and it's like, no, people are just bragging. Yeah. Did a falcon just screech in the back? I heard that too, what the fuck? You know, I... Does my groover here?

Sound effects record? You can't be like, uh, look, here's my face on the cover of a magazine. Humble brag. Humble brag. It's like that's just... No, you're just bragging. Yeah, it's fine. Just say brag from now.

In fact, I think Harris would be happy if people never said it again. Yeah. I think I don't want to speak for him. I wouldn't know. What if he comes back from the grave just to see if people are doing that? I would be happy with that.

I'd be happy with that. Wait, how? Okay. What stage... What stage of reanimation would a departed loved one have to be in where you'd be like, I'm glad this is happening? A hundred percent. Meaning a stage of decomposition of their body? Well, like, are they a zombie? Are they-

No, they'd have to be back to exactly how they were. Wow, that's a lot to ask. Are you kidding? That's too much. I'm saying, what would you accept? I wouldn't want to see them if they were. This is what is so weird about modern zombie fiction is that people are killing zombies immediately.

And what would really happen is at least half the country would be like, we can't kill these zombies because they might. Let's try and find a cure. Let's try to find a cure first, because like, you know, this is amazing. Oh, that's actually nice.

You know what I mean? I'll take it back. But then the other half of the country would be like, oh no, our responsibility to everyone else in the country is too important and let's kill the zombies. So this is your home. Snowflakes. OK, what if your friend or relative came back?

They were exactly like they were, except they had milky zombie eyes. I could accept that, I think. If they were exactly how they were. But I'd be kind of scared that they were like not really... You'd get used to it. I'd be scared they weren't really them. What if they had like a partially decomposed face? Which part?

But then everything else was fine? The cheekbones. Both of them? No, I'm saying like their face is slightly rotten. Like if it was the forehead, it would be all right. It doesn't smell or anything. It's just like they came back and that halted the process. It would have to smell. For you?

Do they have to like, Would they be able to live their full life or like they can only hang out with me? Absolutely. No, they could do- Could they die again? No. Double jeopardy.

I think that seems, I don't know. I think that seems pretty good. Sorry, God, double jeopardy. So you would look at them and it would not look good. But they would start to create plastic surgery to fix this. No. Yep.

No, that's the scenario. Well, they would come up with hats. They'd come up with hats. They would invent hats. Yeah, cause so far we didn't have them yet. So they'd wear a ski mask? Yeah. That's creepy.

In your mind, it's just their forehead. Okay, but if it was their cheekbones, they would wear a ski mask? Yeah. That's creepy. And then they- In your mind it's just their forehead. Okay, but if it was their cheekbones, they would invent a ski mask and everyone would be cool with it. Just like everyone's cool with these face diapers everyone's wearing. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I'm not really like this by the way.

This is your first episode. I have not heard face diaper. Oh my God, what if that is someone's first episode and they don't understand that word, kidding. I beg your pardon. Why are they friends with him? All right, we have to take a break. We'll be right back. I had to break it to you, but 2025 is here and it's all going

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I wanted to save it for the pod. Did you get injured on purpose so you would have a story? Yeah. Okay. I'm like jackass. So what happened? Okay, so we were up there to do like just a fun, relaxing wine tasting trip, but we also scheduled a horseback riding wine tasting event. Sidenote, can I just ask, I've never done a wine tasting. Do you actually spit it out or do you drink it? No, in fact, I thought that was, I mean, you can, like that's the sideways part of it if you're like real snooty about it, like, but it really is just an excuse to go in and try six different types of wines. I guess that's what I figured.

You get that. Like I kinda went going like, It's more fun. Is, are half the people gonna be spitting? No, every single person there is just like downing wine. We did it one time where we went from, you know, you go from vineyard, you get on a little bus,

you can go from vineyard to vineyard to vineyard and try all these wines. And then it's like, it stopped being fun after a while. It's like, I don't want to do this anymore. I can't taste wine anymore. We found that three was too many for Kulov. Three stops? Three different wine tastings.

Cause you have, I think you have about, so you have six different wines in each one usually. And so it's probably like a glass and a half. Yeah. Oh, okay. And so three was like four and a half. Yeah. Oh, okay. Three was like four and a half glasses of wine and she was in the afternoon. And yeah. And so that night she was just like, I don't feel so good.

So we're like, okay, two is two is the limit. Yeah. Spitting it out feels like the most decadent, gross thing in the world. Yes. And like, who cares about the flavor that much? Like you're trying to get drunk. Yeah. And you're just sitting there pretending you're

like agreeing with whatever they're saying anyway. All the fucking, yes, this is a full bodied and this one is a, has an after note. I mean, the full bodied or the, oh, this would pair with this. Like all that is kind of cool, but like the hints, like when they list six different things, it's like, I was doing the thing where I was like,

hmm, I'm getting notes of wine. I think you'll detect a fleck of juniper. Wow. So we went to the, we, we, we, the first one in the of, of the day was this horseback riding wine tasting where you, you ride horses. The first one.

First one. You ride horses and then you do a wine tasting afterwards. That sounds really fun. It was fun. And we rode horses six years or so ago in Costa Rica and it was really fun. And so Coolop scheduled it and I was like, okay, that'll be fun. So we get to the place and the instructors, or not instructors, but the guides, casually throw out like, and it's us and another couple. We're going to race. They just casually throw out, oh, you don't have to, does anyone like want a helmet?

And that definitely makes me want one. Well, no, it actually like sort of felt like peer pressure because everyone turned it down, including Coola, because she wanted to like wear her hat in pictures. I saw that in the picture. Yeah. She wasn't wearing a hat. Yeah, no, because it was too windy. So she's like, why did I turn down the helmet?

I'm getting a head. I'm sorry. Anyway, so I immediately was like, yeah. Everyone kind of looked at me like, pussy. Yeah, but what if you fell off and you didn't have it on? It's just like, who cares? Yeah, who cares? I'm not on a horse every day of my life.

And plus people who are on horses wear helmets in their competitions and things. Yeah, that's true. So I- And you're certainly doing that. Well, and they're offering it, which just makes it seem like there's a reason they're offering it.

Yes, of course. Like they have to for safety reasons is the way they made it feel like, hey, we don't give a shit. It's not required, but they have to bring it up. They have to offer it. So I was like, yes, I do, please give me. Yeah.

And I put it on. And I said. My fontanelle never closed. So, then they're like pairing people up with horses and they're like, you know, to cool up. Oh, you have a really nice horse, like very gentle, you know, whatever. And everyone gets like nice, oh, real sweetheart,

you know, all this kind of stuff. Old paint. And then they say- And they're like, old helmet here, you get to ride the scary one. We call him Tornado. So it was Nacho. So they so they go okay you have nacho. Okay just be careful of nacho because he likes to nip at the other horses and he likes to be like

sort of the alpha and he likes to lead. He's a nacho-friendliest horse. I think that they should ride nacho. Yeah well later I found out that the one that our guide was wearing had like bucked three riders at her previous job. Well, nevermind then. I'm sorry, did you say the guy was wearing the horse? He did. Did I? I thought maybe that was a fancy word for riding.

Yeah, I don't know why I said that. I don't wanna show my ignorance. I don't even know what the sentence is. So anyway, so I get Nacho and it's like, I get up on Nacho and he seems fine. And we start the ride, everything's cool. And we're going along. And yes, he is like trying to get at other horses

and I'm like pulling him back. But then he does wanna be out in front. And our guide is like, okay, yeah, why don't you just lead? I don't like that. I actually like this Nacho very much. Well yeah, why don't you just lead? I don't like that. I actually like this Nacho very much. Well, I don't mind Nacho, but I don't like the idea that now I'm leading, like, no, I want to be part of the pack on my horse.

I haven't ridden horses a lot. It would make me nervous. Well, it's only three of us. And the guide is kind of like, I usually go off to this. Oh, it's just you cool up in the guide? Because the other couple went a different way. Oh, okay. And I think he was proposing to her because like,

he had a driver and the driver was like, they had just met or something like that. And the driver was like, so you're gonna be, when his girlfriend was in the restroom, he's like, so you're gonna be, and he's like, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. Ew. What if they just had sex on a horse?

Yeah, so you're gonna be having sex on a horse, right? He's like, uh-huh, uh-huh. Yeah, totally. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Oh, whatever was a breakup? You're gonna be breaking up with her, right? You're gonna be dumping her. So when you come back, it's just you in the car.

Yeah. Uh-huh. But then we saw no evidence of, like, her showing off a ring or whatever, so it may have been just like the whole day was planned, like, and later that night he was gonna do it. Ah, sure. For the first time. Don't tell the driver he could have blown it. Seriously. I never trust a driver with a secret like that. Yeah. So. Drivers love to talk. So anyway it was just the three of us and our guide was kind of like well I'm

usually not on the trail anywhere I go off to the side of you so you guys can have an experience. In fact I've never been here before. So she's like, you go ahead and lead. So we're going along, and I'm doing the whole thing of like, when you go up a hill, you lean forward. When you go down the hill, you lean back. And all the rain techniques and all that kind of stuff. And it's been six years since I rode a horse, but I was like, damn, I picked this back up really good.

I'm doing really good. And I started being like, I could do this like in a film or something. If I were offered. So you're off. Oh, sure. I was like, I was like imagining Matt Damon in like true, what is true? True grit. Yeah, true story. True grit. I was kind of like, yeah, I'm like, like, like,

like I could, you know, this is very natural to me I'm like a man who spanks a teenager So I'm like in my head I'm kind of going yeah, I mean like I could put this as a special skill on a resume or updating your casting website Leading forward and backward on a resume or something like that. Updating your casting website. Leading forward and backward on a horse that I'm not controlling. No, I was like, you know, and I was leading him away from the other shit. Nacho, no one controls Nacho! So, as I'm thinking this, suddenly Nacho goes crazy.

No! Nacho goes crazy. No, no. And like, I don't know, from my perspective, it seemed like Nacho stumbled and freaked out. The guide's perspective was like, it looked like he got spooked or something. I would love to hear Nacho's perspective. Nacho was like, Pfft, bleh! That explains a lot.

But Nacho basically like bucks and tries to throw me. Jesus! And- I hate this. This is terrifying. I hate this. And- I love it. Well, I love that it happened to him. It's scary, but it's fun.

And I don't know how, but I hold on. I like that he stops when we whisper. Yeah, it's like he's not listening, but he's giving room for us to do it. Like he's pretending, like, it's like he's not listening, but he's giving room for us to do it. He's like pretending like this is a... This is too long for a dramatic pause. I was sewing him before. But I don't know how, but I hold on.

The saddle gets like swung to the side. Oh, Jesus. But I hold on and it stops and Nacho stops and our guide is like, whoa, wow, are you all right? I'm like, yeah, I'm shaking, but I'm all right. And she's like, wow, you really held on like a professional. You're like Matt Damon in true grace. Yeah.

Yeah. So anyway, we finished the ride and then we're walking to the picnic table to get wine and I stepped in a hole and twisted my ankle. Oh my god. Oh my god. So did you fall down? Yes, I fell down.

You fell down? Did you go boom? Did she say you fell like a professional? She wasn't watching. Cool Up was like, are you okay? She thought I was having a heart attack or something because I just sank to the ground suddenly. Why do you seem like Matt Damon in that movie

where he fell in a hole? That's so scary. Shia LaBeouf in holes. Oh my god, so how's your ankle? It felt fine after three days. You have a lot of foot problems. So the whole time you had a bad ankle? For the last three days, yeah.

Of the trip? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it wasn't horrible, but it just swole up a bad ankle. For the last three days? Of the trip? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it wasn't like horrible, but it just like swole up a little one. Wasn't as bad as when I got that MRSA infection in France. What was that? I think I've told you about that. You have.

Whenever I hear MRSA, I think of you. It was like the day or two days before we left and I got that infection. And then by the time I was like limping by the time we were leaving. And then I got home and had to have it dug out. Ooh, yeah. I don't wanna hear about that.

I don't wanna hear about it. I'm done talking about it. You had to have it dug out? Yeah. I can't. Like with what? They, well, it's like a spoon. A spoon. Yeah, a grapefruit spoon.

That's making me sick. I still have like a little divot in my leg. Has this podcast ever made anyone throw up? Oh God, I hope so. Probably. From all our chewing on Mike? I was gonna say when we chewed the M&Ms. Should we do another taste test?

We should, but what should it be? Yeah, it has to be something good. Or should we bring in some new M&M flavors we haven't had? But you know what? They're all so gross at this point. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, forget it. I should get past the mains. Forget it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, forget it.

As you get past the mains. Yeah. Forget it. Anyway, that was... Maybe Kit Kats. Oh yeah, that'd be kind of fun. There's a lot of different Kit Kats. There are.

World Market actually has many different variations. Do they have the... Matcha. Matcha, yeah. Yeah, they have the... I figured out I don't like matcha. I don't like matcha. I don't know that I've ever had it.

I don't mind matcha ice cream. It tastes matcha. I don't know that I've ever had it. I don't mind matcha ice cream. It tastes a little like lipstick, but I think it's okay. I don't like matcha at all. No, maybe I'm thinking green tea ice cream. You might be thinking green tea. I love lipstick. To eat? I don't like matcha, I don't like green tea.

I like green tea ice cream. It kind of cuts out a lot of trendy things right now. Man, I had a matcha coffee in New York, and it was so gross, and we waited so long for it, and of like trendy things right now. Man, I had a matcha coffee in New York and it was so gross and we waited so long for it. And I just like dumped it right out. What does matcha taste like? Like it was wine.

And you were forced to get it. What does it taste like? I don't know, I just don't like it. Okay. All right. And it's one of those things where it's- Oh, you know what though? I did have a good matcha thing.

What? You lied. This is huge. My, when my brother was visiting recently, we went to this cool, well he took me to an art gallery that he wanted to go to, because he likes to go see art when he's in town. Who's this?

My brother. And so we went to Think Space, which is a cool art gallery, in West Adams neighborhood. And- Does he have no art where he lives? No, he goes to see it where he lives as well. Whoa.

But he always knows what show is going on in LA that I should go to or that he wants to go to. He likes that. So we went to see this art and then across the street, there was this little cool little cafe and we went in there and then he got these, well I told him to buy these donut holes that I wanted and then he's like there's stuff inside. I told him to buy it.

So you're buying Valentine's presents for yourself but give them to Mike. You're telling your brother to buy donut holes for himself but you eat them. Yeah but I was like get those and then he brought them outside and he's like there's stuff inside. I was like fuck because I hate when there's stuff inside of pastries. Inside donut holes? No, really? I really don't like when there's a goo inside.

You don't like a creme donut? What about, in any donuts? No, definitely not jelly. What? I don't like fruit in pastry. What about a gum like a Choules? What? A Choules gum.

What's a Choules? Anyways. Do you want everything to be on the top? No, I don't like when there's, I like chocolate in desserts. I don't like food in desserts. What about a gooey chocolate? That's good.

Pan du chocolat? Yeah. But anyways, there was like matcha, like cream or something inside these. And he was like, it's good. And then I still ate one and I actually really liked it. So I was pretty surprised. So it kind of went against everything I ever thought. Wow. I really wanted to eat it because he, it's good. And then I still ate one and I actually really liked it. So I was pretty surprised. So it kind of went against everything I ever thought.

But I really wanted to eat it because he said it was good. And I also didn't want to be a baby. I feel like I've tried to stop doing that in my life. Yeah. I'll usually eat anything. Yeah. But I can have my opinion on it. But I'm usually like, I'll try anything.

It's a relief to get to that point in your life. Yes, it took me way too long, I think, but I definitely do that now. But I really liked it, so maybe I do like matcha. Fuck, I don't know. Maybe I just didn't like that matcha coffee, and I haven't had it since. I think you can end up with a bad combination

where matcha shouldn't be in the thing that you're having. Because the matcha twixes are okay, aren't they? What, Kit Kats, you mean? Kit Kats, I mean, yeah. I've never had that, but I wouldn't want to have it because I think I don't like it, so maybe I would. Maybe we should have, that's what we should try. We should do taste tests.

We should do the matcha KitKats. Just that? No, we should try like five. Like they have like orange. We should start with the matcha because I'm worried that we're going to love the other one so much. Jesus, okay.

You know what was fucking- We have to do it the way I want to do it, or're gonna love the other one so much. Jesus, okay. You know it was fucking- We have to do it the way I wanna do it or else I don't wanna do it. Do you know what was really gross? I had a pumpkin Kit Kat that someone had for Halloween. And then it was disgust. No, and it was like, what are we?

Did it not taste like pumpkin? It tastes like just like pumpkin, but- Because pumpkin and chocolate take good. There was no chocolate. That's the thing. There's no chocolate. Pumpkin doesn't work in everything. It was just pumpkin, like, flavor on the wafer.

I'm like, that's not why I'm here. Exactly. Yeah. It should be chocolate bottom, pumpkin top, wafer middle. What is this? Put an ad in the... Chocolate on the bottom, pumpkin on top. That's my kind of...

That's my classified. I think it's cute that your brother knows that you don't like things in pastries. Yeah, we also discovered that we both don't eat the crust of sandwiches we make at home. But you don't cut the crust off? No. And he was talking about how his son wants the crust cut off and he's like, just eat it.

So you cut it and you eat into the sandwich as opposed to- Yeah, we both, I made sandwiches and then we both left it like that. And then that was pretty funny. That is funny. But yeah. All right.

The way I got over my picky eating, because I ate terribly for years, was it was a friend's birthday in New York, and we went to this restaurant called, he had, he lived in New York, and so he had like a night for the people that came in from out of town. And we went-

Bloomberg? Mike Bloomberg. And we went to this restaurant called WD-40, which was- Sounds disgusting. What? Was it oily? It was not oily, that's WD-50. No, it's WD-40.

Oh, no, WD-50. Sorry. Of course they couldn't name it after the oil. Well, it made me start to think that maybe WD-40 isn't a brand name. But it is a brand name. Not a formula. Like 409? And it was a... At the time, molecular gastronomy

was a new thing. Yes. And so it was all these- I hit a restaurant in that three months once, and then I've never seen it again. Right, yeah. Like no one does it anymore. Yeah, yeah, it's true.

And so- Was it where everything was like dry ice and tiny? No, it was not dry ice, but it was deconstructed and blah, blah, blah. And so it was all these different things, including fish, which I never ate and blah, blah, blah. And I was like, well, I just got to go along with everybody. Yeah, because I mean, there's no other option.

You can't be like, can I have the chicken fingers? Yeah, and it was fucking, it was great. It was great. It was like, I didn't know what things were going to be. And I really enjoyed it a lot Oh my god one time I went to yeah great Yeah, one time I went to Vegas to do a show with Ben Schwartz and Gil Ozeri It was a corporate show for Visa and

Who was like an improv show? Just the three of you. Yes. Wow, do you remember that show you and I did the worst show? Oh my god, the weird Alan. Yeah. Yeah you remember that show you and I did? The worst show we've ever done. Oh my god, the weird Alan? Yeah. Yeah, I know I was thinking about that the other day actually. Oh my god. Everyone hated us.

Everyone hated us so much. Al very nicely, he was doing a big whatever the video game convention is or something. I don't even know what it was. He was performing at some big convention. He was performing at it and it was like. 3G, what is it fucking called? E3 or something like that. Oh, that is what it is, yeah.

And, you know, it's cool that he was booked, because usually it's like Metallica or something like that, and he was booked, but... and it was live streamed, and the issue is, like, in his previous tours, when he was changing costumes, he would play a lot of videos, but they're all copyrighted videos.

So he was like, hey, do you wanna do the in-between stuff? It'll cut to you and you can like host the broadcast. I swear. And we were in character and people were like so much. Well, first it was gonna be me and Paul Scheer were gonna do it together. Oh, I replaced him. And Paul had to drop,

Paul was like, Paul had a big idea of us playing Julie and the Assange brothers, I guess. And I didn't, I did not know, at the time I did not know about the link between like video game people and Julian Assange type people. So I didn't, I was just like, oh, that's funny. Cause WikiLeaks is in the news, sure, okay.

So we got wigs and WikiLeaks t-shirts, right? And so we were going to be the Assange brothers, because it was video games or whatever. So Paul had to drop out like the day before or something like that. And so he's like, but I bought the wigs and the t-shirts, so you can still have that. I was like, OK.

Trying to wrap my mind around like, I'm going to be... This is not even my idea, but I was like, okay, I'll stick to it. And then so I got... What? I don't know why. Yeah, looking back, it doesn't make sense. It doesn't make any sense. But he was like happening. Time was...

Time was of the essence. This is all set up, a name and a t-shirt. I'm good to go. But I was like Whitney Peeps or something. Yeah, you were Whitney Peeps because I was like, Lauren, do you want to do this? I was like, this is the idea where the Assange twins or something.

And you're like, I don't want to do that. I'll just do Whitney Peeps. I was like, I don't know anything about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So I was, and which is what I should have done too. But I- You should have also done Whitney Peeps.

But with the Peeps brother and sister. So anyway, so it gets set up and I'm like making cracks about, oh, what was the other thing I was doing? This is ridiculous. I was doing like stuff that I thought Assange would say, but it was like hashtagging, oh, Gamergate. That's what it was. And because in my mind, it was like,

look, Gamergate is stupid. And anyone who's, like obviously these people who are watching this show. Well it's not stupid, it's about ethics and gaming, German, German. But I was like, anyone watching this show agrees with me, right? Yeah.

So, I found out that video game people are terrible. They were really mean. And they just were like sending us the worst like kill yourself messages. And Alf finished his show and I felt so bad for him because we were tracking it in real time. Cause we were doing like three minutes here, five minutes there.

And then we would have like 10 minutes off and we were tracking it in real time. And I was like, Lauren, you may not want to look at your Twitter because we're getting like really mean stuff. Let me guess, they put your Twitter handles up on the screen? Yeah, I think so.

Great. Yeah, why would they do that? And so then Al gets off stage, he's like, how'd it go? So he had a great show and I was like- Tears. I will say, I had never seen him perform live and he was fantastic. He was great.

Sure. I love that part. And I just had to say like, Al, you're gonna see the reaction to it and not be happy with it. I think we were funny to like us, but you're gonna get some weird reactions from this and I apologize in advance.

Yeah, well. It was a weird time. Yeah, it was like I that was where I started like figuring out that video game culture that have no relation to each other. Video game culture was just like, it was hard. It was so

strange. But that video game people have a very specific mindset that is not, that does not necessarily align with my own. Yeah, absolutely. Exactly. Oh my god. Anyway, so you went to Vegas.

We went to Vegas. We did this show for the people of VISA. And the people of the town of VISA. It was really fun. And then afterwards, I think somebody from the company took us out to dinner. Oh, nice. So we went to like this fancy restaurant. Did they put it on their discover? I'm sure they did not. What a scandal.

But I'm trying to think of what the restaurant was called because I knew what it was, but I don't remember now, it was years ago. Anyways, but it was one of those places where everything was kind of weird. Like all of the stuff on the menu was like, cut and, it was like duck in cotton candy or you know, like some fucking weird.

That sounds awesome to me. Anyway, but we ate, oh, well I ate everything, we all did. And we were all like, yes, it was like fancy and crazy and everything was weird. And I think I can say this, that that night we all had the worst diarrhea ever. I think I can reveal that that night we had the worst diarrhea. I don't think I'm allowed to reveal this now.

I was the, so I was up all night and it was the worst. Then we got to the airport and we're like, oh, fuck. Do you think it was one, it must have been one ingredient or something like that? Maybe, or it was just how rich everything was. Because we had so many things that were odd and like really just, yeah, I don't know that kind of. So your stomach was like, I've never seen you before. My stomach was like, duck and cat and cotton candy, bitch, I'm gonna shit this out.

But yeah, it was pretty funny later. Anyway, the end. We should go up, we should- Tragedy plus time. We should go to like a weird dinner together and record it. Yeah. Let's go to a weird dinner. Yeah, that's true.

Like a fidelio, like a eyes wide shut dinner. Yes. Eat off of a human body. Yes, and then we fuck everyone. In front of everyone. Have you watched the Tinder Swindler? We watched, weirdly enough. I've heard about it, have not watched it. We watched it in Saniness.

I enjoyed it. One thing that came up though a bunch of times is that these women were given caviar for the first time whenever that was so amazing. I'm like, who's that excited to eat caviar? Isn't it gross? We had it uh okay here's what I'll say we we bought a jar for Christmas. I mean some people love it I should I mean I know that. And and we had we had it uh you know with some other stuff and it wasn't that good on Christmas day when it wasn't with certain things but then the next day we had the leftover caviar with the typical Russian way on what do they call them?

Blinis and with like all the regular accoutrement and it was delicious for that so like I think I like it the traditional way. Yeah you know who who's a fan, I believe is Josh Flagg, my favorite real estate agent from the Landlord Listing LA. Oh yes, Landlord Listing. He loves caviar. I think he's a fan of caviar from what I remember. I want to hang out with him. I want to see that right now. Really?

Yeah. What is it about him that makes you want to hang out with him? If he just like walked up the driveway, would you be stoked? Oh, that would make a lot of sense. I'd feel like we're on the show. Walking up the side and catching things. He came up out of the pool like Rambo. Had a machine gun.

Rambo Miranda? Yeah, Rambo Miranda. Oh God. Rambo? Jesus. Oh my God. No, I just think he's fun. He's fun. And then they have the spinoff, Josh and Josh. Oh my God. Reality recap, yeah.

Wasn't as good. I love Josh and Josh. Well, because those two Joshes are ultimately my favorites to watch. Yes, but it was like, it was more of a personality show than it was a real estate show. That's true, but I don't mind that. My favorite Josh is probably Joshua from the Bible.

Yes, thank you. What did he do? He fit the Battle of Jericho. Always bringing it back down to where we need to be. This is a Christian podcast. We need to make, This is a Christian podcast. We need to make it. This is someone's first.

We should have been saying that at the top the whole time. Yeah. And I'm surprised we haven't mentioned it before now. But yeah, this is a Christian podcast and we believe in the Bible. We believe that it exists. The Bible, it's a real book. None of its teachings. It's real.

No, we don't believe. It's a Christian podcast where we don't think the Bible is. We just believe that it is. We just believe that there is such a thing as the Bible. Yes. Amazing. Not getting involved in this? He's looking for someone.

He's looking for someone. He's looking for someone. Helicopter. All right, we need to take a break. We'll be right back. All right, bye. What's up everybody? I'm very excited to tell you about something we've been cooking up over here.

All right. It's called Legacy Talk with Lena Waithe. It's all about celebrating the brilliance and artistry of some of the most iconic black women in entertainment. I'm honored to have been in conversation with powerhouses such as Sheryl Lee Ralph, Jennifer Lewis, Debbie Allen, and more. On these conversations, we discuss process, their journey, and how they became the incredible women they are today.

Legacy Talk from Hillman Grad and the Monado Media is out November 12th on all platforms. Hi, I'm Emily Deschanel. And I'm Carla Gallo. And we're here to bring you Boneheads, the official Bones rewatch podcast. 16 years ago we met on the set of the TV show Bones and have been friends ever since. I played Dr. Temperance Brennan and I played Daisy Wick. We're starting from the top and working our way through all 246 episodes. This show lasted a very long time. Very long. Tune in every Wednesday to laugh with us, to cry with us,

to cringe with us, and hear all our juicy behind-the-scenes stories. Boneheads from Lemonada Media is out now, wherever you get your podcasts. He's looking for someone, he's looking for someone, he's looking for someone, helicopter. And we're back and it's time for a threacher. I love it. Everyone does. As you know, the threacher is the segment where we play a game and we call it the Three-ture.

That's right. We don't call it a game. No. What we do is we call it a Three-ture. Yes, it comes from the idea that we will have features, and two of us took that to mean games. Yeah, it is games. Who are the two? Lauren and myself.

It is games. What did I think it was? I think you thought it would be different segments. Yeah, that's what I was like, let's do a feature on the show for the third thing of like, we'll bring in something to do. Yes, and of course that is a game. And we called it Three-Chur to make it branded. And it worked. You can call anything in your life something and brand it.

You know what I mean? Like your toe? You could call it a flaver. And that's good branding. On POOG, a podcast I enjoy with Jacqueline Nobeck and Kate Berland, Jacqueline has this activity, she calls Big Red and it makes me laugh so much. It's Netflix and Seamless, because both of them are red. So it's like a food ordering.

Oh. So, but she says, I'm going to do Big Red tonight. That's funny. I love that. Okay. This game is called Cursory Rhyme. Feature. This feature is called Cursory Rhyme.

And it's not what you're thinking. Actually, I don't know what it is. And it's not what you're thinking. Actually, I don't know what it is. I don't know what you're thinking. I wouldn't even presume to tell people. I wouldn't either. Tell me you hear the word curse and you don't think immediately. I know what this is.

I want to say fart so bad. Yeah. Fart is such a curse word. So this was submitted by Full Pet, I think is how you say the name, but I probably said it wrong. And here's how it goes. Spell it. P-H-U-L, space, P-A-T-T-E.

Could be patay, we don't know. Could be. But there's no accent or accent-a-goo. Okay, so one person picks a word. The person to their right recites the first line of a poem, which must end with this word. The next person recites- An existing poem or? No must end with this word. The next person recites the second line of the poem ending in a word rhyming with the first

word. The first person now adds the third line ending with another rhyming word. This continues until everyone is out of rhyming. So we're gonna pick a word and then we're gonna make a poem. Every single line is gonna rhyme. Got it. Okay. Got it. Why is it called cursory, I wonder? Cause you have to. Cursory rhyme, you have to rhyme. You must.

It's cursory. I don't think that's what cursory means. Can we Google it? Let's Google it. I thought cursory meant like general, like a cursory search. Like I have a facile knowledge of this. Oh, it's actually the opposite of what I thought.

Hasty and therefore not thorough or detailed. Nice. Great. But it also says perfunctory. But perfunctory to me feels like you have to. No. No. Look up perfunctory. Well, I know what you mean. Carry out with a minimum effort or reflection.

Like you have to do it, but you're gonna do with the least amount of effort. Perfunctory I think is like the minimum. I'm taking it the wrong way. Okay, fine. Yeah, yeah. Great. And then someone said, is cursory a bad word? Look at my dogs.

Behold. They're running. Okay. They love to be away from this house. Get me out of here. Okay, so really I would say cursory rhyme probably isn't the best name for this game. Well.

Dang. Or it might be if we get hasty with it. We may pronounce your name and it sucks. No, I think the game is. Maybe it's the best name because it rhymes and that's what we're doing. Okay, let's find out. True, it rhymes with nursery.

The word we're gonna start with. Is cursory. Is juice. Juice, uh-oh. Is that gonna be bad? It's the right, so it goes to you. Okay. So I'll start or you start?

No, I start. You've provided the word, I'll take it over from here. When I thirst at morning time. No, I've already, I'm like doing a full poem instead of doing a line. Yeah. Wait, what is it? So I just do a full poem instead of doing a line. Yeah, wait, what is so I just do a line You just do one line. Yeah

At morning time I crave my juice At morning time I crave my juice. Upon the carton, I turn it loose. What? I don't mind if it is pews. As long, so long as it makes my bowels loose. I said loose. Oh, sorry.

Pews. Juice is hard. Okay. I got a few more. And by the way, I am a moose. There you go. A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a- What's this upon my thigh? A bruise? That's good. Thanks. It could be two syllables.

Could it? Yeah. I'm thinking of one. Me too. This bruise I see, it is chartreuse. All right. I'm thinking of one. I'm thinking of one.

I'm thinking of one. I'm thinking of one. I'm thinking of one. I'm thinking of one. I'm thinking of one. I'm thinking of one. I'm thinking of one. I'm thinking of one. I'm thinking of one me too This bruise I see it is chartreuse I'll wrap it up in my pappus and stuff it all in this train's caboose Why is it me again? Why is it me again? Why is it me again? Why is it me again?

Why is it me again? And then write it down, which I will peruse. And send it off to Terry Crews. I do admire his fancy shoes. I do admire his fancy shoes. And then I'll sip a little bit of booze. I'm a detective, but I've got no clues.

But Brian Softy is my muse. Softie. Yeah. Who's that? From the Softie brothers? Yeah. Oh, you haven't seen this video? No.

Of what's her name? No. Julia Fox? Uh-uh. Oh my god. The what's her name from Kanye West? Yes. The what's her name from Kanye West?

They broke up. Keep going. The what's her name from Kanye West? Can that be a new poem? She says, there's this clip of her talking about being a muse, I guess for Kanye, and she's like, like when I was Brian Softy's muse, from Uncah Chams. Wow. Okay, let's do a new poem. Paul picks the word, Scott starts with that word. Yep. The word is

brown. Upon my shorts, a touch of brown, of course. Regretted it, soon as I said it. I didn't notice till I looked around. In this state, can I go to town? Can you get in this? Oh, I thought you meant state. Like, am I allowed? Is this one of those states where you're allowed to go to town?

Because where I grew up, you can. Not sure which way, either up or down. But if I smell it, I'll have a frown. And to others, be a clown. I was going to do clown, so that's why I'm taking a big pause. I'm so a big pause. Sorry. Um, yeah.

And then to cover it up, I'll wear a gown. That's what I was gonna do. Uh oh. I'll give you the same amount of time. No, no. And a hat made of feathers down. I think we of feathers down. I think we've used down. Upon my head.

Other type of down. Just like a crown. Mm-hmm. Other type of down. Okay. Whatever's anything about homonyms. Yeah, that's true. Although it's not even a hom... Homophones?

No, it's neither. It's just a different definition. Oh, true. Shit. There's a word for that, right? Yeah, I'm sure there is. Different definition? Come in true. Shit. Um, there's a word for that, right? Yeah, I'm sure there is. Different definition. Come in. Look at that bird and how it's flound. That's how I pronounce it. Sure. It's a regional dialect. And look at my grass and how it's mound. Up in the sky. A red balloon?

All right. Face. Good. I place this mask upon my face. But wait, oh yeah. My face is where a mask is placed. Oh, so you're Dr. Seuss. I hope not.

He's dead. And he got cancelled. So many, so many cartoons that were offensive. I'm sorry, you said... I said face, you said... I said place. I said place. Place this mask upon my face.

I hope my zits it will erase. And once they do, I'll run my race. I hope I don't get sprayed with mace. And then sent off to outer space! And the detective will crack the case. And the theme will be leather and lace. Nope, did that one. This is very surprising to me.

We shall continue and continue apace. And present our goods with all the grace. Whilst lying on this lounge of chaise. I am so embarrassed. I feel abased. I want to disappear without a trace. I can't remember what words we've... I know. This is the longest we've gone.

I know. It's going so well. We're fucking doing it, guys. Dude, we could be in true grit right now. Just banging a teenager. This rocks. I think I'll walk to their aways. Okay. It's over. All right, it's over. Oh, good stuff, guys.

It's over like this episode. We did it. Yeah, we did it. We did it. Yeah, we did it. Thank you for sending in the Three-Chir. And if you'd like to send us a Three-Chir, write to us at ThreeMail. ThreeMail. ThreeMail.com. I wish.

We should get ThreeMail. It should be ThreeMail at Gmail.com. Yes. But it's not. It's threedomusa at Gmail.com. Let's try to get ThreeMail instantly before somebody else does. Josh, that's for you.

It should definitely be 3Mail. 3Mail or Gmail. Wow, that's so good. We are threedomusa at Twitter and Instagram. Do we have a new intern yet? No, but I did fire Satan and he posted a video. He needed to be fired. He posted a video?

Can I say he took it really well? That's not real. What? That's like one of his devilish sort of things. Oh, it's a trick. Yeah, it's like everyone get painted him. I forgot he's the Prince of Lies. It was nasty.

I thought it was really, really, really gross that he did that, but I just let it be. I forget that he's evil. I know. Is that what let it be is about? Yep. Yep. Great. If you wanna hear ad-free versions of this show, I forget that he's evil. I know. Is that what Let It Be is about? Yep. Yep. Great.

If you want to hear ad free versions of this show, listen to the regular episodes or subscribe to Stitcher Premium or CBBworld.com. That's right. And listen, we love you. We love you. And we'll be back next week. Wee.

Bye-bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. This message is sponsored by Cologuard. Because of my own health journey, increasing awareness around the importance of colon cancer screening is a mission close to my heart. And one common misconception about screening for colon cancer is that you should start at age 50. But in actuality, if you're at average risk, the recommended age to start screening is 45. And a great use at home option to screen for colon cancer is with the Coligar test.

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Do not use the Coligard test if you've had adenomas, have inflammatory bowel disease and certain hereditary syndromes or a personal or family history of colorectal cancer. False positive and negative results may occur. Any positive result should be followed by a colonoscopy, not a replacement for colonoscopy in high-risk patients. The Hi everyone, Gloria Riviera here and we are back for another season of No One is Coming to Save Us, a podcast about America's child care crisis. This season we're delving deep into five critical issues facing our country through the lens of child care, poverty, mental health, housing, climate change, and the public school system. By exploring these connections, we aim to highlight that childcare is not an isolated issue, but one that influences all facets of American life.

Season 4 of No One is Coming to Save Us is out now wherever you get your podcasts.