Threedom - Threevisiting: Murder on the Moon

Episode Date: February 11, 2025

Threevisiting on the Tues: Scott, Paul & Lauren discuss weiner dogs and retiring before playing Letter List. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Listen ad-free and unlock bi-weekly THREEMIUMS on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, I'm Reshma Sajjani, founder of Girls Who Code. Look, I'd consider myself a pretty successful adult woman. I've written books, founded two successful nonprofits, and I'm raising two incredible kids. But here's the thing. I still wake up wondering, is this it? And if the best years are yet to come, when's that going to start? Join me on my so-called midlife, my new podcast with Lemonada Media, where we're building

a playbook for navigating midlife, one episode at a time. Each week, I'll chat with extraordinary guests who've transformed their midlife crisis into opportunities for growth and newfound purpose. At some point, we all ask ourselves, is there more to life? I'm here to discover how to thrive in my second act, right alongside you. My so-called midlife is out now,

wherever you get your podcasts. When history buff Eric Roper buys an old house in Minneapolis, he wants to know everything he can about the people who live there before him. But one couple become his obsession. And as he pieces together their lives through genealogy records and old recordings, he realizes they're showing him a side of his city he never knew existed. This is Ghost of a Chance from the Minnesota Star Tribune. Subscribe now wherever you get your podcasts.

Freedom! Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom! Lauren, I need to hear you shout. Freedom! There we go. Beating, looking at the phone. Lauren, I need to hear you shout. Ba-dum, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo, freedom! There we go. Eating, looking at the phone. All of Lauren's vices. Guys!

Ah! Lauren's two deadly sins. Smoking pot. Oh, Lord. Smoking pot. Smoking like the mask. How well do you think that movie holds up if you were to watch it? I watched it. I hated it when I was outside.

I watched it like a year or two ago. I, did you really? You have a fun life. On an airplane. On an airplane! You have a fun life. And it was, or maybe it wasn't on an airplane. I watched something like that on an airplane.

You watched airplane on a mask. Oh, yeah. But I thought it was pretty fun. I'm trying to, I don't even remember what I thought about it at the time. I saw it in theaters. I remember it was pretty fun. Yeah. I'm trying, I don't even remember what I thought about it at the time. I saw it in theaters. I remember it not being funny. That's what I, I was like,

cause I really liked Ace Ventura and thought he was really funny. And then the mask, I was like, oh, this is just kind of lame. And then I loved Dumb and Dumber even more. I remember thinking Ace Ventura was really funny. And then, I mean, I went with a friend of mine, we fucking died laughing at that movie. But then I watched it recently and I was like.

But I showed it to another friend like a year or so later, and this guy was like, you thought this was funny? Through the whole thing. Wow. I remember I was dating this nice woman who's no longer with us. Was she the librarian at the school? This nice woman.

And she, I wrote this script that she, she was like, what do you find funny? And I was like, oh, like Dumb and Dumber was really funny, this was around that time. And she was like, ugh. Yeah. And then she read my script and was like, ugh. And then she worked at a...

Maybe she was sick. She worked at a film, yeah. Well, I did have a tongue depressor in her mouth. And she's like, that's no tongue depressor. Um, but, uh, you know what I'm with her. It is small and hard. Hillary. It was, it was Julia Glenn, a nice woman. Anyway, so she, she worked at a film company and she put my scripts, even

though she hated it, she put it in the to read pile. What a nice lady. She was very nice. And it got the, it got the only recommend out of all the, out of all the scripts. And she was like, man, I thought this sucked, but people like it. I guess. Wow. And then she died. And that was like, man, I thought this sucked, but people like it, I guess. It was very nice. Wow.

And then she died? And that was Sharktel. And then she died of laughter after she finished the final page. The only documented case of a person dying from laughter. Usually it's the best medicine. But they don't tell you. It can kill.

I know. Wow. And what a humor and uniform. Yep. Welcome to Freedom. Welcome to it. I'm Paul. I'm Paul Scott. I'm Paul Lauren. Yep. Welcome to Freedom. Welcome to it. I'm Paul. I'm Paul Scott.

I'm Paul Lauren. Yep. Yep. That's how we do it. Yes, you are. And you're listening to the podcast where, look, if I got to explain it to you. You're already behind. Oh, man.

We gotta catch up. We can't hold your hand and spoon feed you our podcast, okay? You'll have to figure out what it's about and how it works by listening, my dear. Yeah, so, see if you can discern the theme of our show. Every episode has a theme that we decide on previous to it. Like weeks before. Weeks before, and we talk about things

that relate to the theme, but no one is able to guess the theme after the episode. So- You know what's weird? We've done over a hundred episodes, no one has yet guessed a single theme. No. Yeah. And let's look at some of the guesses a hundred episodes. No one has yet guessed a single theme. No. Yeah. And let's look at some of the guesses from last week.

Oh, look at this. Charles from Lake Charles. Oh, interesting. Says humanity is the theme. It's like, I mean. That's a little grandiose. Look at this one, superior from Lake Superior. Weird.

Because the theme is chocolate chip cookies. I mean, they came up. We mentioned that. No, no. That was one of my guesses in the game. Well, one time you said that we should put gum inside of them. Oh, right. This one's from Huron from Lake Huron. Weird. They say that we should make the show more about something deeper.

That's not even a guess. Something deeper, something more intense, something that would really change the way the world turns. The topic should be colon, to wear a mask or not. Okay, we don't take suggestions by the way. Although here's one from Titty Cocka from Lake Titty Cocka

who says, I suggest you guys all go fuck yourself. Wow. Titty Cocka. I'm getting this, Placid from Lake Placid says, I suggest you guys all go fuck yourself? Wow. Wait a minute, wait a minute. I'm getting this Placid from Lake Placid says, I'm a big giant alligator, why don't you make the theme me? Well, we don't do that. Fuck off. Although we kind of did, five episodes ago.

Crocs. Yeah, but nobody got it. No one guessed it. No one guessed it. Okay, well this one's from Eerie from Lake Eerie. Ooh. It's a little spooky, there's a drawing of a ghost and it says the theme of the show is

people who were born once. Once. So non-Christians? Born once. Makes sense. Artists sins, leaves out, I guess anyone is reincarnated. Yeah. I like that theme, guys. Should we do it? Are there people who aren is reincarnated. Yeah. I like that theme guys. Should we do it?

Are there people who aren't reincarnated? Like, do you only get reincarnated if you believe in reincarnation? Yeah. You know what I mean? Like you only go to heaven if you believe in heaven. See, I don't think that makes sense. I think if something really is real, it should just happen no matter what you believed. Yeah.

I think heaven, if heaven is real and you don't believe in it, I think you should still go to heaven and I think it's okay if you get made fun of a little bit. Yeah. Like, Oh, look at this guy. A light ribbing for not believing. Yeah. How's it? Do you believe in us now?

And that can last for one full earth year, which will be like nothing in heaven. It's a minute because honestly it's eternity that you're there. Yeah, so it's like you can take that for a year. You have to be, if you're not good natured about that, if you go to heaven, fuck you. You've gotta have a thick skin. Absolutely. Yeah.

Well, we'll see you next week. What? Oh no, no, we just started. I wanna hang out in heaven with you guys. Wow, that would be so cool. There would be so many people there. Do you think that you would even say hi to me? I'd be a little busy.

I probably wouldn't talk to you. Who would you most want to see in heaven? Why do we talk about dying so fucking much? Because there's the unanswered question. It's on our minds all day long. Can't we just talk about something silly? Like weiner dogs. What's sillier than heaven?

Right, Belmar? Well, who would you, there's sillier than heaven? Ha ha ha, right Belmar? Well who would you, who would you, there's gotta be people from history that you'd be like, this is the old like if you could have dinner with anyone question. Can I say I kinda do wanna talk about wiener dogs now. I think we should but you know, I don't think that a lot of times those dinners,

I think they'd be more awkward than people really realize. No, I mean like Abraham Lincoln wouldn't get any of your jokes or your references. Yeah, that sounds horrible. You'd be like oh the Tinder Swindler right Abe? And he'd be like. I don't wanna fucking have dinner like Abraham Lincoln wouldn't get any of your jokes or your references. Yeah, that sounds horrible. You'd be like, oh, the Tinder Swindler, right Abe? And he'd be like. I don't wanna fucking have dinner with Abraham Lincoln. I wanna have dinner with people I like.

From history. From my life. From your personal history. I'll start with Wiener dog. So I sort of want one. Guys, I had one. You did? Did you really?

As a child. You did? So a puppy. We never talked about it? What was his name? No, he? As a child. You did? So a puppy. We never talked about it? What was his name? No, he wasn't a child, although it was at some point. Alice. Aw.

Aw, that sounds familiar. Go ask Alice is what you're thinking of. Yeah. And did you love her? Go ask Alice. I was not that into Alice, I think, because I think back then, this is the 70s, people didn't know what to do with dogs really,

so it was like... Uh... Pfft. is the 70s, people didn't know what to do with dogs really, so it was like, so Alice was like- They didn't know. We tried to have her pull the car, that didn't work. I don't know, Alice was in the backyard all day. Cause it's like, well, we don't wanna keep letting out, Alice in and out to shit, so it's like, just put her in the backyard all day.

We have neighbors that do that. I don't like that. And they don't have a yard, it's just concrete. Yeah. It bums me out. Anyway, so- got run over by a car on Christmas day. What the hell? That's a sad story. Jesus Christ.

Only broke her leg. She still lives. A dog that small and only broke her leg? Was the car tiny? Well, it was Christmas, so it was, I mean, it might've been a sleigh. Her leg was the size of a pinky. Might've been a sleigh. I think Wiener dogs are so cute.

And you know, Dolly Wells, if you know Dolly Wells, she has the cutest little Wiener dog named Morris. And he's so sweet because they got long hair. And I want, I kind of want one. I think they're very cute. But I also, I don't want one. I think they're very cute. But I also, I don't want one that's gonna go. Well, you're out of luck there. Nicole Parker, my Neighborhood Listen co-host, she has a wiener dog named Roxy,

and Roxy is blind, just two marbles in her head now. Oh no. Yeah, so she's. She's a double Sammy Davis Jr. Mmm. What is that? No. He had one eye.

I figured that out, but I don't. You figured it out. Ch, ch, you figured it out. Ch, ch, with a pencil and a pad, you figured it out. It didn't take a pencil and a pad for me to figure it out. You show us your pad, it's a drawing of Sammy Davis Jr. I got it. With a closed eye. Fig figure it out. You show us your pattern to drawing of Sammy Diggs Jr. with a closed eye. I figured it out.

I do enjoy seeing pictures of that dog. Yeah. And now, because I will, Instagram of course is now suggesting all sorts of dachshunds to me because I've shared one photo that I saw with Nicole. Right. And then it's like, oh, I see what you like. Oh, this guy loves Wiener dogs. So now I've seen the same picture of a couple dachshunds

with a bunch of like baby chicks. Yeah. I've seen this picture one million times. Swipe away. No, I actually believe that when, there should be a feature that if you have seen a meme or a picture already, you should be like, never show me this again.

Like, I don't want to see the same fuck. Sometimes I'll be reading a meme or a picture already, you should be like, never show me this again. Like, I don't wanna see the same fuck. Sometimes I'll be reading a meme. And then I'll be like, I already know what, oh my God, I already know. And then I'm like, I need to be on my phone. This is the ultimate takeaway. That's also true, girlfriend. I have a timer on my Instagram.

I can only use it for a certain amount of time a day. That's right. And then you bypass it. No, but I now don't know the password. I texted you some picture and you were like, I don't have my time, what is it? They just screen capped it. Yeah.

It's better that way for me. But what I wanted to ask is how does the blind dog get around, does he memorize the room? It's a she sexist. And she can smell. That's right. Dogs can be women? Yeah, now.

This dog was the first woman. She broke the glass ceiling. Because dogs, always known as men and cats, were women. That's right. And more recently. That was true for a really long time. And now recently we have our first female dog. But men are still from Mars.

And our first male cat. Women are from Venus, right? Well, you know where you're from, right? Hell. Uranus. Oh! What? Is that the title of your comedy book? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Yeah, my comedy book is called Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, and Scott Ackerman's From Uranus. I thought it was You Know Where You're From, Right? And then you have to flip over, and on the back it says Uranus. Yeah. Ha ha ha. The only cover that says To Be Continued.

Do you know it's a thing, because we know people that have written books now, which is weird, but if you- Jane Eyre? Jane Eyre? Moby Dick Eyre? Eyre? Jane Eyre.

A tale of two cities? It's not Jane Eyre. It's Eyre. If you write a book- No, it's not. If you write like a humorous book now, like whether it's a humorous memoir or a humorous guide to or whatever,

the book has to have an impossibly long title. Yeah, to explain what you're reading. I do think the long titles are too much sometimes. It's stupid, but they make you do it. Yeah. They make you do it. It's so weird. Here's why you should read this nobody's book.

Yeah. Why don't they just say that? That's what it's called? Well, I mean, it used to be you'd write a book like, mm, Fatherhood by Bill Cosby, for instance. God, I'm scared. Your favorite author. Jesus Christ.

He can't help it if he's his favorite author. You could have said Couplehood by Bill Cosby. I like what he did. He's my favorite author. You can't help it if he's your favorite author. Favorite comedian. Separate the art from the artist. Favorite TV star. Fatherhood is my favorite book of all time.

How about Sign Language by Jerry Seinfeld? Okay, so you don't need any of that because you know who Jerry Seinfeld is and you're like, Sign Language, oh, I get it. He's gonna be making jokes or whatever. Perfect Father's Day gift. Right. Perfect. It's got his picture on the cover, you're done.

Your dad would be psyched. Done. You are done, Sean. Didn't I retell the story of when I was in seventh grade and my science teacher was really, like, he was a funny guy and I thought he was so funny. And I gave him- Was he good looking too though?

He was, he was sort of like- Like in a goofy way but kind of like- He wasn't, he was more like a football player looking kind of guy. Was he a Stilff? A Stilff, a stepfather I'd like to fuck. A science teacher you'd like to fuck. Or both. A stepfather I'd like to fuck? A science teacher you'd like to fuck. Or both.

A stepfather? It wasn't like, I didn't have a crush on him, but I wanted him to think I was funny and I liked that he was funny. So he's like a peer to you. That I get. So I was reading sign language, and this was in seventh grade,

I thought it was really funny, and I lent it to him and he kept it. What a douche. Shouldn't he have given it back to me? Yeah. I wasn't giving it to him, I was kept it. Shouldn't you have given it back to me? Yeah. I wasn't giving it to him. I was saying, I thought this was really funny.

By the way, I have a friend of mine's record album. Then he goes home to his wife, he's like, this girl has a crush on me. Yeah, right, and I was like, actually don't. Throw this in the trash. I just think you're funny. Also, I can't remember your name right now. I've had a friend's record album for eight years, probably.

Uh-huh. The Friends made a record? No, no, it's a Woody Allen record. And I've thought- Well, why don eight years probably. Uh-huh. The Friends made a record? No, no, it's a Woody Allen record. Well, why don't you put it in the trash? I've thought recently about- Woody Allen watches Friends? Should I try to give this record back or is it in bad taste now that he shouldn't even own this?

You have to give it back with such a disdainful air. Oh, here's your record. I guess I understand why you like this. Yeah. But I really messed that up, guys. Yeah. I wanted it to be so good. I loved it.

I loved it, and it made me so happy. I'm mad at myself now. I'm happy for the first time. I'm happy. La la la la la la la. Yass. She's still alive, right, Carol Channing? No, I hope so.

Really? I gotta look. She can't be. Were you familiar with the old Alice in Wonderland that she was in? I grew up watching that. No. Alice. Yeah, she was saying, we're gonna have, what is it?

Jam today, jam tomorrow. She finally died. Finally? Oh, thank God. She must have been 99. 2019. Oh, wow, she was around that long. She finally died. Finally, oh thank God. She must have been 99. 2019. Oh wow, she was around that long. She died at 97, but it is funny,

and this is the thing I remember Todd Glass talking about, when you were a kid you would see her on a game show or something. She's the oldest woman to ever live. He was like, oh, she must be a thousand years old. She was probably like 39? Yeah, I know. Yeah, she always seemed old. Well, yeah, she always seemed old.

Well, yeah, she was in this- Oh, we're like that for somebody. Isn't that nice? Oh, totally. She was in Alice in Wonderland, this VHS tape that my godfather had copied from the television and given to me. Did you give that to your science teacher?

Yeah, he kept it. Did you give that to your science teacher? And I loved it, it was really great. It was a fantastic adaptation. Who else was in it? And she sort of was the mad hatter of it. It was a star-studded cost. I actually don't even know. great. It was a fantastic adaptation. Who else was in it? And she was sort of a mad hatter. It was a star studded cost. I actually don't even know, I didn't know who anyone was.

I just watched it. Sure. Yeah. Who played Alice? I don't know. We don't know. And yeah, but you remember that it was Carol Channing who played that role.

Well, cause I've looked up that video in recent history. Oh. Cause I remembered the scene and I was like, oh, I think that's who that is. And then I looked that up and then it was. I feel like I've seen it because you shared it or something. I probably posted it or something. I thought it was pretty good.

And I felt like, oh, I'd love to be like that. I miss the years where people could get famous from just talking a certain way. Yeah, it was Carol Challings. Yes. Or the guy going, oh, hey, hello there. Pat Buttrum. Yeah. Or Joanne Worley.

Malava, it's Joanne. That's my friend Malava Barbula who worked with her at Sacramento Theater Company and backstage. Malava, it's Joanne. I remember a former Malava roommate, Karen Kilgarafe, telling a story about, Joanne Worley was working with Paige somebody, famous Broadway person.

Paige. Shit. She would have been like the ingenue at the time. Yeah, yeah, I think I know who you're talking about. And this person, Paige was, I think, ill or something in her dressing room, and maybe this is a story from Maliva. But hearing Joanne Worley at Paige's door going,

Paige, Paige, Paige! Paige! I love it. That's just so funny. I was trying to see something because I sort of, I have a hunch about something. Let me just see. Oh, hold on.

This is one of our best, best segments on Freedom. It's Lauren's Gotta Hunch. Lauren's Gotta Hunch. Lauren's Gotta Hunch. I was wrong. Oh. Oh, she was wrong. Well, but she had one.

Oh, by the way, Lauren's Hunches are terrible. I thought that Paige, the person you were talking about, was possibly a voice in an original Disney animated film. Paige? Paige! But it wasn't who I was thinking of. Oh. I wonder who I was thinking of. Oh.

I wonder who I was thinking of. Did you search for Page Broadway? Page Broadway with an I. I didn't do that. Please do it. Okay, one second. Please do it. Lauren, we're begging you. And I also wanted the listeners to do it too.

Yes, everyone in the world. Listen, any time we Google something, we want you to Google it at the same time. Is it Elaine Page? Yes. No, I don't think so. No, it'd be... First name Page. First name Page. Well, it's you to Google it at the same time. Is it a Lane Page? Yes. No, I don't think so. No, it'd be 73 now. First name Page.

Well, it's hard to do that because everyone, it's just, it's not filling in. Page, Page. There's Janice Page. I know. Page Far. Far. F-A-U-R-E. Page Far. Page Far. Page Far. It's on Page Four. Pond Far. Pond Far.

That's when the Vulcans go crazy daisy. There's Paige Davis, who was of course famously on HGTV. Yeah. She's also a- From Trading Spaces. She's a Broadway star? She did some shows. Wow, I didn't realize that. Really, I bet it was that person.

Really? Did that person, well, you're saying that she did some shows? Yeah, but I don't think, I don't, I don't think- Broadway star and Emmy nominated something, Paige Davis. Maybe it was. In Hello Dolly. Oh, maybe she was in it with Joanne Worley.

Well, there you fucking go. Huh, interesting. Paige. Paige. Paige. God, we gotta get Paige Davis on this show. I know we've never had a guest. She says her Broadway highlights include

Bette Bette in the first national touring production of Disney's Beauty and the Beast, the title role in the national tour of Sweet Charity and Gloria in the Tony Award winning hit comedy, Boeing Boeing. Davis' longest running association has been with Broadway Chicago, having played Roxy Hart in multiple turns on Broadway

on a national and international tour since 97. I love when someone has to turn on Broadway. I had no idea she was so talented. That's like a turn. Yeah. How amazing. We've got to get her on the show. We got to.

She's the one guest. Yeah. She's the one guest we'll ever have. Paige Davis, we know you're listening. Please. If anyone can get to Paige Davis, guest. Yeah. She's the one guest we'll ever have. Paige Davis, we know you're listening. Please. If anyone can get to Paige Davis, please. Please, come on the show. You know what, I always love trading spaces.

That was like one of the funniest shows. Me too. Because they'd have like that old guy who'd be like, he'd go over and design. So on the show, if you're too young to know what this is. The Texan guy. Oh my God, it was so funny. Like, two neighbors.

George W. Bush. I just don't know. Two neighbors would decorate each other's rooms. They'd switch houses. It's such a disaster. And they would always come out shitting. And they'd be like using sponge paint on the wall. They'd be like, we redid your den,

and now it looks like shit. Sometimes the designer would be like, I want to put feathers all over the wall or manure all over the wall. It was always horrible. Hold on a second. Because it was very DIY, and it shouldn't be DIY. This motherfucker said, I want to put manure over the wall.

I'm lying about manure, but feathers yes. But the country guy would be like, I'm going to pay. I'm going to use a template and make little egg people around the border of the room. And then we're going to put a fence around the baseboard. Little egg people. You know, I don't know.

The neighbors were supposed to be advocates for their neighbors of what they wouldn't want. So a lot of times they'd go like, what are the colors you hate? And they'd go brown and they go, okay, nothing, just make sure there's nothing brown. Then the designer would come and go like, I'm doing the whole thing brown.

It really would be like, the whole room would be like brown. And then those people would be like, okay. No, and they always- They would have a conversation. They would hate it. They'd be like, no, please don't do this. They don't want brown. And then the designer would go, I'm still doing it.

Sometimes they would compromise. No, and then at the end, the people would come back and they go, oh. And cry, and cry. Because it's like, no, please don't do this. They don't want it, and then the designer would go, I'm still doing it. Sometimes they would compromise. No, and then at the end, the people would come back and they go, oh. And cry, and cry. Because it's like, it looked so cheap. It was always so bad. Like it was never done well. It was so funny. Wait, there's another show like this, right?

Or have I seen this show? Well, you might be thinking of Extreme Home Makeover, which is insane. With the carpenter from. Ty Pennington. Ty Pennington. The Move That Bus? Not that one. By the way. Maybe it is that one. There was one I saw where you could tell when people didn't like it. That's probably that, not that one. By the way. Maybe it is that one.

There was one I saw where you could tell when people didn't like it. That's probably that trading space. By the way, Rock the Block is back anyway. Fuck! Reality recap, yeah. Great show. It's back, I gotta text Arden.

What's Rock the Block? But Paige. Rock the Block is fantastic. Rock the Block. You have to text Christopher Darden? No, I have to text Arden, because she'll be both like Rock the Block. I know.

Christopher Darden, wait, from the OJ trial? From the OJ trial? Rock the Block is a great show if you like home makeovers. They take a cul-de-sac in the middle of nowhere, and all the houses are brand new construction. And they give them to all these designers. And they give them to designers, and they each do their own house with their own,

and they do it separate. To compete in who does the best house. Is it always a cul-de-sac? Basically. It's just like a street of new houses. Every once in a while, they'll do a street that goes all the way through to another street. Okay, I'll do that too, yeah.

But it's just each designer does their own, a team of designers does their own house, and they obviously make different choices, and then there's a voting process on each episode of like, we're doing the kitchen today, and then one person wins the kitchen competition, you know, all this kind of stuff, and then at the end, they sell the homes.

My block ends in a dead end, all this kind of stuff. And then at the end, they sell the homes. My block ends in a dead end, is a dead end street. Yeah. So maybe- You wanna rock the block? It's a lot like your career. I want my block to be, I wish that weren't true. Paul.

I would like to laugh at that. The houses are all new construction, not lived in. I meant my career. The houses are all new construction, never before lived in, and they can make changes to some of the layout as well. Wait, huh? It's fun. They're not like, it's not like a house of,

Paul, just watch it. It's not a street of houses that already exist. I thought you were gonna say, it's not like a house of horrors. No, like one of them is like, They make, they are all haunted. Didn't you notice in one episode, like, or in one season, the houses were all like on a highway?

They were all just like, you know, kind of far off. Life is a highway though. Anyway, I didn't like that. Yeah, anyway, it's back. I just wanted to alert you to it because I know you love it. We love it. I love the program. So then all these people have to move into this new block.

People buy it and they're basically making little popular streets. Yeah, and it's, they're not. That's adorable when you put it that way. And I like it because I learned about new designers too. Like I learned about Leanne Ford and she's really good. Yeah gonna do it. That's adorable when you put it that way. And I like it, because I learn about new designers too. I like, I learned about Leanne Ford and she's really good. Yeah, she's really good. Remember Leanne Ryan?

Yeah, Cool Up likes hers. I mean, yeah. Is she still around? Yeah. She was young, right? That was the thing? Well, she was young and then she grew up and had a lot of drama around her life.

Because she wanted to be sexy and people like, you can't be, you're young. No, because she was married to Eddie Cibrian, who, no, no, he cheated on his wife, Brandi Glanville, reality recap, with Leanne Rimes, and they now have a successful marriage. But Brandi has gone. For now. Sometimes the cheating works out.

Yeah. So try it. You always say that. Great lesson for all of us. Sometimes it works out. Sometimes it's great. I know so many people, or I have known so many people, I should say, in my life who are the kind of people that couldn't start a relationship. They could end them for others?

They couldn't end a relationship without starting a new relationship. Oh. Yeah. So there's always an overlap. Yeah, because it's like a trap door. Yeah, and it just continues over and over and over again. And then the people that were helping them cheat were always stunned when the relationship.

Yes. It's like this person, you know this person has done this like four times. Oh, the person they had the affair with. Yes. They're like, but now for me, it's all gonna work out. I like how you call it helping them cheat. Well, you have to fuck me, I'll help you cheat.

It's like, you need someone to help you. I'll give you a hand here. You can't cheat by yourself. Hey, this weekend, I'll give you pizza if you help me cheat. Pizza and beer. All right, let's take a break. Hey, everyone. Today's episode is sponsored by Acorns.

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Coligard test performance in adults ages 45 to 49 is estimated based on a large clinical study of patients 50 and older. False positives and false negatives can occur. Coligard is available by prescription only. Look at the fun bottoms of your shoes, Scott. We're back. We're back. Yeah. It's like the surface of the moon. Oh, yeah. But that if you were, if you were on the moon, it would be bad because the moon's like this and then my shoes are like this and opposites, you know, repel each other.

Well, I was thinking you could murder someone and probably get away with it. Oh, on the moon? Yeah. But that's very distinctive down here on Earth. This is a great screenplay idea. Murder on the moon. The first, moon's first murder. Moon's first murder.

Murder on the moon. And it's first murder. Murder on the moon. And it's an astronaut murder someone on the moon. And people are like, this is never happened before on the moon. Can it be, does it have to be an astronaut? Can it be like a record producer? Oh yeah, like a slimy record producer? Yes, someone wants to record an album on the moon.

Yes. Like Pink Floyd wants to, they're like, we sang about it, now we're gonna do it. Can it be someone younger? By one year, sure. Can it be someone younger than Pink Floyd by a year? Hi, Lauren. Lauren, you know who Pink Floyd is, right?

I love Pink Floyd. You love them? Yeah, you can hide. I actually, right? I love Pink Floyd. You love them? Yeah, you can hide. I actually wrote my college essay about Pink Floyd. And I heard you handed it in and you never got it back. What was it about? What could it possibly have been about? It was, I don't remember exactly.

What could it possibly have been about? But I was very into Pink Floyd at that point when I was... Oh, I hear you, 420. I was connecting it to something in life and some blah blah, you know, just some bullshit essay. Like, was it about the song, Money! It's right.

Boom ding dee doo boom ding dee doo. But we also, we always, my friends and I, a handful of times did the whole Dark Side of Oz. Was it actually cool? It was cool. Yeah. But you got to start it over in the middle, right? And you gotta be high as high. And you gotta be high.

By the way, that's the other thing. And you can't get that high anymore. To watch that shit. You can listen to these episodes along with Wizard of Oz. We're watching Wizard of Oz every single time. Oh yeah, and it syncs up to it. We don't look at each other.

We look at the TV. No, we're just, look at those monkeys. I never noticed them before. Oh! We've watched this over a hundred times. I've seen this a hundred times. I've never noticed these monkeys before. They're in it a lot.

Those monkeys are talented actors. Once you see them, you can't stop seeing them. You can't stop seeing them. I was like that with the show Peacemaker. I don't know if either of you guys watch it. I haven't seen it yet. Okay, the opening titles are great. And every time I watched them,

I would notice someone new in them. And to the extent where like the very final episode, I saw Steve Agee earlier than I had ever seen him before in it. And I told that to Cool Up and I was like, they're not changing the credits are they? And adding new parts to it? And she goes, no.

I go, because this is the first time that I noticed Steve Agee, before I could get the sentence out, she goes, what? You're fucking kidding me, you never saw Steve Agee? And I was like, because he has a whole big dance part of it. What? And I was like, Cool Up, you gotta stop interrupting me. I was like, didn't see Steve Agee until his big dance part.

But you had never seen it. Because he was dancing off in the background. The worst is when somebody interrupts you with something like that, where you clearly were going to say something else. Three times. Like when your voice goes. But wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

She said. That's different. She said you've never, she thought you said you've never seen him? In life? No, in the credits. I was like, in the credits. But you are saying you've never seen him in the credits.

No, he's not. You interrupted me the same way Cullin said are saying you've never seen him in the credits. No, he's not. You're interrupting me the same way Gulliver did. He's saying he saw him in a different place than he saw him before. I said I'd never seen Steve Agy until his big dance. Ah! Okay. Ah!

Anyway, the credits. I was wondering what you were gearing up to do. I could see your body was like tensing. Ah! Lauren, move your chair. Ah! That really tickled me. Ah! This way, this way. Move it this way. I could see your body was like tensing. Lauren, move your chair. That really tickled me. This way, this way. Lauren's gonna move, Lauren's gonna shake her body.

Can I have that glass of water since you brought your own drink? Oh my God, she's gonna move the chair. You're going off, Mike, to get glasses of water. Paul, I bet you wanted a glass of water this time, didn't you? I did, I forgot to bring my bottle. But tell everyone why I didn't give you a glass of water. Because one time I showed up here

with my own bottle of water, and Scott had a glass of water for me, and I dumped the glass of water out to be funny, and now I'm being punished forever. Yes. You'll never have water again. So I nailed it. I'll never give you water again.

Never. There, how's that? When does pool season start? I mean, yesterday it could have been. It was so fucking hot. You guys wanna come? Yeah, it'd be fun sometime. We should do one of these shows from the pool.

I wanna take Holly in the pool. Yes! But I gotta get her some water stuff. Yes, get her the little- She's never been in a pool. No. She was born in July. Get her the little floaty thing that she sits in.

Too young when pool season ended. Yeah, and I wasn't trying to go to any sort of beach or pool. Yeah, but now. Now I feel like it'll be fun. All right. How's that water for you? It's good, man.

You sort of cheated because you got hers. Yeah. And cheaters never prosper. Oh, I prospered now, I got some water. Oh, I pooped in that milkshake. Is that what the end of There Will Be Blood is about? I pooped in that milkshake. I pooped in your milkshake. Is that what the end of There Will Be Blood is about? I pooped in your milkshake. I pooped in your milkshake.

Oh, my old buddy DDL. That's who I was thinking of for a lot of the previous episode. I knew. I miss him. He's a great guy. Do you think, is there any possible way he would remember me if I met him somewhere? If you met him in character, if he was Daniel Plainview. What if I ran my character? Do you think he would have?

What if I ran my character? Would you think he wouldn't? I'm Mr. Prescott. I mean, don't you remember people you've done things with? Scenes? I, you know what though, the older I get. Yeah, it's hard. The more things that I do, it's harder to remember.

I want to do less things. Don't worry, it's happening. I've had people, I've had people now we've opened up a new genre of joking with each other. I'm glad to hear it. We're both in this similar... Yeah, I know, I know.

But I'm not getting invited to the big slick to be bad at softball, presumably. Five years ago when I had a TV show? There you go. I'll let you guys play softball. I've worked with people where they have said, we worked together on this thing, you know, however many years ago.

Sometimes I'll remember, sometimes I won't. Well, however many years ago, sometimes I'll remember, sometimes I won't. It depends on... Well, that's true, that's true, but I guess I just think of that movie as being so important to his career that he would have seen it like a lot of times, but maybe that's not true.

I bet he never saw it. Never saw it? But even if he's seen it a lot of times, you could barely see me in it. I'm like out of focus when you can see me, and then when I have my lines, I'm running in silhouette after him. I gotta look up your scenes.

They're very easy to find, it's one scene. I gotta look it up. Very easy to find. I'm gonna do that. It's fun, I shouldn't be in that movie, it's fun. That's great. Isn't that cool? I bet he's never seen it because I saw him do a talkback

after it once and he seemed just mortified that he had to talk about this movie. But I think that's him anyway, right? Yeah, but I bet he's just like, I don't even want to talk about this, or watch it or anything. What? Yeah.

I don't understand. Yeah. Maybe he thought it was a different movie. Yep. It's like, we're still talking about My Left Foot all these years later? I remember hearing that. He thought when he made Gangs of New York with Scorsese

that the original idea was this is gonna be like kind of a comedy. Like we're gonna go, this is gonna be like a crazy movie. Yeah. It's like Dumb and Dumber. But then it became like a serious Oscar bait drama kind of thing and that it kind of ruined it for him. Because he gave a different performance than what he thought.

He was geared up to give a different performance. But I think he's probably still giving the same performance. Yeah, because it's pretty big, what he's doing. It's pretty big. So he might have been disappointed in the movie. I see. Huh. I see you see him in it.

You tell us a Daniel Day-Lewis story. I will. We'll go around the table. When he was in Alvin and the Chipmunks, as Simon's little brother, that was so funny. He's so good in it. I know. And he totally changed his body into a cartoon, so people don't know. That. That was so funny. He's so good in it. I know. And he totally changed his body into a cartoon

so people don't know. That's what was so cool because that was really method acting. He really committed. This isn't true, right? He didn't do a voice for that movie? No. Okay, good.

I was panicking for a second like, is this a real thing? Is this everything I know about Daniel Day-Lewis a lie? My old buddy. Nah. Oh. Do I bring this up to him? Do I ask him how he enjoyed working

with Alvin, Simon, and Theodore? Is he really retired? No. Well, that's what, when you asked in the game last episode, if the person had been in the movie in the last year, I thought the answer for him was no, because I was like, he's kind of retired. But that's the thing, I would-

I panicked too, because I was like, did Robert Redford do one of those Marvel things within the last year? But I don't think that he did. He did the final one, but that was two years ago. Right, okay, good. Phew. Phew.

I'd like to get to a point where I could announce that I'm retiring. Yeah. So you could do that today if you want. Yeah. It's better than people saying, where has he been? Well, Cameron Diaz retired from acting, which I thought was pretty wild.

Was there an announcement or did she just shoot it? I don't think she did say she was retired. I think like years later she said, oh no, you haven't seen me because I retired. Oh no, no, no, I retired. That's what I'm gonna do. She has her wine business now. And she has a child that she wanted to focus on

and raise her child. Cabernet Diaz? Oh, that would be great. It would be good. It's called, what is it called? I don't know. I think you would know. Somebody drink me?

But it was on. Somebody drink me. I saw her promoting it on Drew Barrymore. You should have your own daytime talk show, Lauren. Yeah, that'd be really good. Lauren, that would be good. You'd be so good at it. You would be good at it.

I don't think so. I would watch that. I don't think so. Well, Sherri Shepherd just got her own. That's right. How many episodes do you think you could do before you just lost all patience for talking to people like that?

I could do 150. That's a lot. That's a lot. I think I could do two weeks. I could do like- Daytime talk show. Well, like before I actually internally got upset, wouldn't be that long,

but I could make it last for a long time before anyone would know that I was having that bad time. Even if you weren't paid anything? Well, no, why is it free? Because you love it so much. I want to be paid handsomely. I wonder how long I could do any kind of TV show

before I didn't want to do it anymore. I've heard some people say, I go, wow, that show must be so fun. You're doing eight seasons. They go, no, playing one character for eight years sucks so bad. Yeah, I mean- People say that, but it's also like, shut up. I think it depends on the person,

it depends on the character. How fucking different are your characters? And like, it's called- It's just your own personality. You're in a great situation for many years. I would think, yeah, it would depend on the individual project, but I feel like, because the longest I've ever done anything

was Spontaneination, where that was a weekly thing, and I did it for what, five years? You did 200 episodes? Yeah. Right. And like, the last year was sort of like, I don't, I feel like this, it feels same to me, even though the content is different every time, but the structure of it was the same to me, even though the content is different every time, but the structure of it

was the same to me, and I got tired of doing that same structure. Things kind of run their course in that sense. Are you telling us you don't wanna do this anymore? No, but this is a different thing, because it's not, it's just conversation. Right. What if we were like,

we don't wanna have conversations anymore? It's not my thing anymore. Now I don't talk anymore. No, never take it away from me. My thing is I don't want to talk. Never, Lauren, no. Has your baby talked yet or no? No, but she's babbling.

She's babbling. Da da da da da da da. I like when she just screams. Yeah, sometimes she'll go, ah! That makes me laugh so much when babies do that. It's so funny. Like what do they think they're saying?

That's what I always think. Ah! I know we've talked about this, but is there a competition between you and Mike to get? It's getting a bit fierce. Really? Because it's getting closer, I feel. The words-

Fierce in the RuPaul's Drag Race way? Yeah, it's fierce, honey, and the words are getting closer to being words. But not really, like she's definitely still, but you could say she has said Dada, but she hasn't. What about Mike? I was gonna say, what if her first word was Mike? Mike.

I mean, I'm trying to focus on- Michael Castle. I do think she knows who that we are, those people, because I'll say, you know, where's Dada? And then she looks over there and then Mama. I looked, sorry, I feel stupid. Yeah, you looked around. You were like, where is Dada?

I also try to teach her other words. Oh, where is... My dad's dead. I shouldn't even... It's stupid. Yeah. Why did I look? I try to teach her words with like, we have some flashcards and some.

Yes, apple. Just when she's eating, I'll just keep saying over and over what she's doing. Yes. Yeah. You're eating. Yeah, that's a spoon. Spoon, spoon.

Do you do the choo-choo? I, I. Airplane? I don't really do the choo-choo, but she also does use the spoon herself. Fanboat? She uses the spoon herself. Not every time, but I'll put some in her mouth but she also does use the spoon herself. Fanboat? She uses the spoon herself. Not every time, but I'll put some into her mouth and then she'll take the spoon and then put it into her mouth.

Does she, I wonder, to me it's like, why when you're that young. Why use spoons? Yeah, do you not even understand the concept of like, why are we even using the spoon? The food's right there, my mouth's right there. She does seem to see that she can just, it's like it's a popsicle or something, you know,

but I posted a little thing of my close friends today where she was covered in. It's right here. She does seem to see that she can just, it's like it's a popsicle or something, you know? But I posted a little thing of my close friends today where she was covered in. It's so good. Covered in baby food. Oh my God. Because she was just, I looked, I was sitting on my computer next to the high chair and she was, I let her have the bowl with the puree in it

and then she was just covered in it when I looked back. It was all over her face. It was within 30 seconds. I mean, it was like, she was just eating and then I looked over and she just had it all over. What if we still ate that one? Yeah, I would love to. You go to a restaurant.

Food on your forehead? I know, it was so cute. And that's like a compliment to the cook. Yeah, can we talk to the chef? I just wanna say, my face is covered with your food. There's also this technique called baby led weaning that I'm learning about. Baby light weaning? Betty, baby, baby, Betty, baby led weaning that I'm learning about. Baby light weaning? Betty, baby, baby, Betty, baby led weaning.

So basically the baby, you give them solids, cut to appropriate sizes for their age. Cut to appropriate sizes. Cut to appropriate sizes. And there's, if anyone's curious about this, there's an Instagram and a website called Solid Starts. And on the website, you can just type in a food

and it tells you how to prepare it for their age range. So like she's. Like to what consistency? Yeah, like yeah. So like, so for example, I'm gonna try giving, I gave her a strawberry yesterday and today and she, I just cut the top off

and she just held it and chomped it until it was basically gone. And then I threw it away when it got a little awkward of a size and I was not sure about it. Okay. But then with the, I'm gonna give her a banana today and it says to cut it either half lengthwise or sideways, horizontally.

And then she could just hold that and chew on it. And then like- You made me think of a banana split. Yeah. Ooh, I want one. God, I want one. But so it's a technique that supposedly helps with them not being picky eaters

because they encounter a lot of textures and they interact with the food as a whole themselves. So they're like familiar with what it is as opposed, I give her purees too, but as opposed to seeing it as a puree, you see the whole object. Have you ever given her like a sense? But she likes to do it, it seems fun. Have you ever given her like wasabi on a spoon,

as like a prank? No, but there was one time that I went to a bachelor party in Vegas. As the stripper? With Holly? No, no, no, no, no. It was my improv team. We went for one guy's bachelor party and, uh, we went to a sushi place and we had

done not mushrooms, we had done, um, we'd eaten some gummies, okay. But I had gotten pretty ripped off a gummy and we went to the sushi place and I was one of those times where were like this isn't fun like I'm feeling so weird and I talking about this and then my friend Dave Tooney, I think I can say this right he He didn't understand what that was He didn't understand like we didn't see the wasabi. I don't know what he did He put it he ate a lot. He put the wasabi so much on his sushi Like an ice cream

He wasn't familiar with how spicy was and he took a large, he put the wasabi so much on his sushi. Like an ice cream. And he wasn't familiar with how spicy it was. And he took a big bite and then he was going crazy because it was so spicy. And I was like tweaking out, like I was like, watching him do this is like, I couldn't stop laughing, but it was like- Oh, okay, good. Fitting out that way.

No, but then I went to the bathroom and I was like, I need this to end. Like it was just like one of those. Right, right, right. Like the whole thing was just too much. That happened to me at Patton Oswalt's bachelor party where I got so fucking high before it ever started. Oh no.

Before we went to the first location and David Cross talked me down. Oh, that's horrible. It was like, no, I thought he was gonna be so judgmental and that was like my head space at the time. Everyone's judging me and he was so nice. He was just like, it's okay, you're just like, you got a little too high.

Well, that's nice. You're okay. Yeah, it seems like that's something he would be worried about. Yeah, I would have experiment. One time I was at this restaurant with my friends, and this is back when I didn't have any money, and so I was like, can I have some of your food, can I have some of your food,

and someone had a cup of soup. While you're on the different tables. Someone had a cup of soup. Hi, how was everything? How was your food? It smeared all over my forehead. And someone had a cup of soup. I was like, do you mind if I have some of this?

And they looked at me weird and were like, yeah. And I took this cup of soup and took a big swig out of it. And the reason they looked at me so weird is- Was this before the invention of spoons? I was like, it's dressing. It was Italian dressing. Oh my God. And they said it's dressing for years and years. Oh my God. It's dressing. It was Italian dressing. Oh my God.

They said it's dressing for years and years. Oh my God. It's dressing. That's what you said, it's dressing? Yeah. Ew, that's sick. You imagine drinking dressing? It's so gross.

Bro. Bro. Foul. It's dressing. It's dressing. I just like spit it all out. It's dressing. The's dressing. I just like spit it all out. It's dressing. The first time I did,

I remember doing Mushrooms once and it was fun until it stopped being fun. And then when it wasn't fun anymore, it really wasn't fun. But it was at a, was it, do you remember when Ken Daly and CJ had that big house in the van? Yeah.

With goats and stuff. Yeah, in Trinidad. Yeah. And so- With goats and stuff. Yeah, they had a chinchilla. And that was the first time I ever saw the Nintendo 64 with the- Yes, yes, yes. Read multiple games and it was like, oh shit. We, and so somebody had mushrooms. We did mush, me and a few other people did mushrooms. We also had a Jerry Springer too hot for TV tape.

Nice. But I remember playing Golden golden eye on this big TV with Ken and Bill Odenkirk and some other person. And it started, it just became very funny. Like something changed in the music and the music was sounded so stupid. That's what the trigger was for me. And I was just laughing and I couldn't stop laughing. Ken couldn't stop laughing. You can't stop laughing. And Bill, Bill Odenkirk got so annoyed. He was like, I guess something's

really funny. I don't know what it is, but apparently we can't stop laughing. It was like, I don't know what to tell you, man. That would be even funny. Why are you so mad? We did. It was making us laugh so much more. And it was fun for a while, and, you know, so the ones of us who did it were talking to each other and, like, having a good time. And then somebody said, okay, everybody, it's time to judge the pumpkin carving contest.

Oh, my God. And so... What? What? There would be, like, all-day parties with events. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You would just go there for a day. That's fun. It was a very specific time in one's life.

You know, when this is the guy, it was like you're 25 to 30. Yeah. You're seeing the same people all the time. Yeah. And so, um, we, it was, it was dark out. We went to judge the pumpkin carving contest and I remember it was, they had a pool and it was on the other side of the pool. And to go to get to the pool, I had to walk like past this tree and this tree became just a horrible forest. Like how do I get through these dead branches?

And in reality, this tree is like as big as this. You have to like walk around it. Yeah. And then we got there and we looked at the pumpkins and, um, there were like eight of them, maybe more um, there were like eight of them. Maybe more, maybe there were 12. And so, uh, if you, the way we judged them was we would go up to CJ and she was on drugs too. And you had to say to her the number that you were voting for.

And so rather than do like one through 12 and then writing hash marks next to them or something, she was just writing the number, whatever number somebody would say to her. So at one point she, she, she came up to me and said, look what I did. And I looked at the piece of paper and just had all these random numbers. And I was like, I can't look at that.

And then it was, it was so, it chilled me to my core and then, um, so whoever was the winner, That's driving me crazy. It was so, it chilled me to my core. And then, so whoever was the winner, they figured it out with a pencil and a pad. And so. Well, they had to use it that time. And so then I remember, I think it was Mark Fight and Toby Huss,

were like, they were pretending to be mad that their pumpkins didn't get chosen and they started smashing the pumpkins. Uh-oh. 97. their pumpkins didn't get chosen and they started smashing the pumpkins. Uh-oh, 1970. And it was, that was so horrible to me. That's the last thing, that was like the end of the trip. Was like, this is bad, this is bad.

Remember Mark Fite's house above the gas station? Above Jerry's garage. And he had a slingshot and water balloons and we used to launch water balloons at all the people standing outside the Ford Theater or the Fonda, I can't remember which one they were by. The Fonda. The Fonda, yeah.

So all these people waiting to go to a concert at the Fonda, we would launch from a block away, we would launch water balloons at them and hit them. Couldn't they kill them? No! And cops would, cops came and like interrogated us all. I don't remember this. I remember throwing water balloons at people.

They would, people from the party would go down into the big lot and you would try to- You'd try to hit them? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh no, we were doing it to randos. I don't know if I was there that night. Or I was blackout drunk. Oh wow.

You guys seemed fun. We had a good time. That's when I met everybody was that Joe's Jerry's garage parties. We had a good time. That's what I meant, everybody, was that Joe's Jerry's Garage parties. Yeah. We were all like fucking broke, and so these parties would just be big beer nights. Yeah, it would be the cheapest beer,

and it would be just all random. Like, you'd bring a six-pack maybe of the cheapest thing that you could. And you would climb out on the roof. That was fun. That's fun. It was really fun. It was fun.

The good old days. The good old days. The good old days. Imagine somebody now asking you to climb out on a roof. They probably will. They probably will tomorrow. All right. I don't think, I think my days of being invited to a party where climbing onto a roof is a thing are done.

I think I don't wanna climb onto a roof. Yeah, I think that's where I am in my life. Yeah. Let's climb on this. Let's climb on this roof. No, I think that's where I am in my life. Yeah. Let's climb on this. Let's climb on this roof. No, that seems bad. No, come on. Okay.

Let's take a break. From the ground? Let's take a break, and we'll be back with a three-chir. And we're gonna be on the roof. Hey, everybody. That includes me. And me. Thanks for listening to this week's episode.

If you want more of me, Paul and Lauren, and I know you do, you should join us over on Lemonada Premium on Apple Podcasts. That's what it is. Where subscribers get exclusive access to our 3mium episodes. In each 3mium episode, we take your calls and listen to your voicemails and we answer them. You can send your emails to freedom USA at gmail.com send your voicemail to had claims 8.com and listen to your questions be answered by your pretzel gang on lemonada premium subscribe to lemon on a premium today by clicking on

our podcast logo and Apple podcast app and then clicking the subscribe button. Who's this guy? I don't know, but I like him. Sir, sir, could you please? I think he's a little crab. Sorry about that. Who was that guy? Someone took your place for a minute. Yeah. That little crab. And we liked him better. Why did that crab do that? Want a sneak preview of hot new audiobooks? Then check out Your Next Listen, a new podcast from Lemonada Media and Simon & Schuster Audio. We've got everything, the hottest new thrillers, bestselling celebrity memoirs and swoony romances. And these aren't tiny clips either. There are entire chapters you can listen to. Your Next Listen is out November 11th, wherever you get your podcasts. Well, here we are on the roof and it's time to get a three-chair.

These cords are long. These cords are long, baby. These cords don't run. Did we already have a three-chair? No, we didn't bitch. Oh, then we're coming back. I'm sorry. Why did I say that? I don't know, but that's okay.

No, it's not okay. Okay, let's keep going. You know why? Because like, we're... Like, there were times, Lauren, when we would do improv and I would be playing some sassy lady character, and I would call you bitch, and you'd be like, stop calling me a bitch. And I was like, this is real, I think.

Oh, I missed it. No. No, because it made me think, you missed it. I don't get offended by that. No, but it made me think like, oh, Lauren doesn't do this in life with her friends. Like, this is not a thing that she does maybe. Uh, call each other a bitch? No, I don't get offended by that. No, but it made me think like, oh, Lauren doesn't do this in life with her friends. Like this is not a thing that she does maybe. Call each other a bitch?

Yeah. No, I don't really say that, but I don't care if it's an improv. Oh, so anything goes in an improv? No, but I just mean I don't- Interesting. But her character's doing like- I can do anything to you?

No. My characters kick your ass. Oh, me? I'm a pushover. Look out for my characters. All right, so it's time for a three-cher and it looks like one of you guys has got one. No.

What? No, Lauren's doing personal business, I think. Oh, okay. So Paul is looking for one, right? I'm looking, I'm trying to find my document. Here we go. It's a sacred, sacred document. And you, on the other hand, don't even try. I don't try because I set all of this go. It's a sacred, sacred document. And you on the other hand don't even try.

I don't try because I set all of this up. It's just loading, loading, loading. So Paul. Loading, loading, loading. Okay, this one's now, you have one? No, no, no, it just loaded. And the sun burst into my eye. That's beautiful. That's like a poem.

Yes. A poem. A poem. What do you got? All right, I have one called Letter List. Okay. This is submitted by Jack. Nicholson? Pereira?

Pereira? P-E-R-E-I-R-A. Pereira? Pereira maybe? Domereira? Domereira. At the count of three, all participants hold up a random number of fingers,

tally the fingers, come up with the corresponding letter of the alphabet. So I don't think we're, we're like a certain part of the alphabet, obviously. Yeah, yeah. Well, we- You can only do so many. Well, we, yeah.

A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J. So A to J. We can't do more than seven fingers. You can do 10. Why can't you? Yeah, but then we'd have to start the alphabet over again. Yeah, okay. What?

So if we all did 10, it would be- If we all did 10? Yeah. What's the problem? Let's all do 10. What are you saying? Mushrooms? No, I'm saying to keep- Wait, wait, wait, keep going.

Keep reading the directions. I don't follow. We can do more than eight. So you hold up the fa- Why? Because if we all did nine, We said it would run out of- We'd run out of letters.

I don't think you understand. I don't think I understand. I think you have to read it. All right. All participants, all- All participants. All participants must all participants. All participants. All participants must write down a list of items. List of items.

You must write down a list of items, three per category, starting with that letter. Those items are a movie or a TV show, a musician or band, a food, a place, an animal. Scategories? Yeah, scategories. Pretty much, but with fingers. Why do I use my fingers in scategories?

Oh, I don't, I refuse. I tie my hands behind my back. That's how you determine the letter of the alphabet. Okay, fine. But wait, now we gotta write stuff? Yes, you have to write things. We'll have to use our phone. Yeah.

Okay, all right. And then what happens? Then we shake hands? Each player gets a point for each thing they write that no one else writes. Okay, this is Scattergory. Most of these games are recycled games, but that's okay. Hey guys.

I mean, Wirtle is just a recycled lingo, right? Oh man, lingo is mad about it. Yeah, lingo is pissed. Lingo's mad. Lingo. All right, okay, I think we got it. So, open up your notes app. Don't do an apology this time.

Oh, I was in the middle of one. Save that draft. For you. Oh, I was in the middle of one. Save that draft. For you. Aw. Wait, apologizing for something that I did? Yeah. Oh, thank you. I'm outsourcing my apologies.

Okay. All right, ready? All right. So, three, two. Wait, wait, wait. We gotta do the fingers. Three, two. Hold on, I'm getting my freaking.

And we'll count down with three, three, two, two, one. Okay, so then we're just putting up random fingers? Random amounts of fingers. Yes. Three-cher. Three-cher. Two-cher. Two-cher. One-cher. One-cher. One-cher.

I did 10. I did seven. I did two. So 19, the hard castle. So we go A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T. It's S, not T. 19. Oh yeah.

S. S. Okay and what are the categories? The categories are, open the, open the doc again. Yep. Scroll down to the thing.

Scroll down to the thing. Woo! So wait we have to write down a thing for each category. You remember, someone remember 19. Starting with S. No it's S but yeah.

So what are the categories? Movie or TV show, musician or band, food, place, animal. I gotta write these down, so movie? Yes. How do you spell that? Movie or TV show. Movie slash TV show, musician or band, food, place. Food, place.

Food, place, and then I wrote band again. Food, place? No, food, place. I wrote music is bang. Is that wrong? That's very wrong. And then what's the last category? Okay, opening document, scrolling down.

Jesus Christ. We're morons. Movie or TV show, musician or band, food, place, animal. Animal. I wrote good place. Okay. I'm going to start now. Okay, and how long do we have?

I think it should be one. As short as possible. Yeah, okay, here we go. Go as fast as you can, try to beat each other. Okay. I'm going to write my next thing now. And... Okay, I got it, I'm done.

I got it. You're totally done? Done. I thought we were supposed to write three things for each category. We are? No, that's impossible. I'm done. I got it. You're totally done? Done. I thought we were supposed to write three things for each category. We are? No, that's impossible. Yeah, that's what it said.

I just wrote one for each category. Oh, okay. Well, I can do that, but I wrote three for the first one. Reopening doc, scrolling down. Dear God. A list of items three per category. No, come on, we can't do that. Yeah, how boring would that be?

Go, go, go, go. Okay, let me get my food place, hold on. It's not a food place. Food place is the name of my short film, I know we're plugging it right now. Food is one category, place is one category. Oh shit, I thought you were saying a restaurant, but saying food place.

What, food place. That's literally my short film, as we all know. What a lovely planet you have. Please respect me. Okay. Okay. Uh, uh. It's right there for God. Uh, okay. Please respect me. Okay. Uh, uh, uh. It's right there for God. Uh, okay.

Please respect me. That's the log line for freedom. Please respect me. Please respect me. Okay. I only have one for each one. I can't do this. I got one for each one.

Oh, wait. Yeah, that's what we're doing. One for each one. Great. Movie, TV show. Okay. Jaws. Jaws?

Jaws, it's supposed to be S. Jaws, it's supposed to be S. Look, I had to reopen that dock so many fucking times. I forgot that one part. You were just writing down any movie? Yes, because every time I would try to, I'm trying to do everything and then I kept getting asked, what are the rules again? And I'd have to go back and reopen the fucking dock.

Don't change a thing. Let's keep reading, Scott. Oh, Jesus Christ. Don't change a thing. Oh my God. All right, Scott, what's yours? I wrote down Jaws. Don't change anything. Oh my god We'll give you half a point for you to get okay, uh Stepford wives succession

Silver chair I said strokes. I said U2. Okay, food. I said soup. I said smashed potatoes. I said hoagie. Place. I said Salt Lake City. I said Stratford upon Avon. I almost said Leningrad. Remember, that's not a place anymore.

And I wrote St. Peter's brain And then animal I said snake I said snake Whatever you want by the time we got to but I was so but you too That was so far long ago in the past by the time I was writing down the categories and kept being interrupted Oh my fucking oh shit. All right, you know We gotta go out on a high note. That's true. That's true. Yeah, we're out of time. Anyway, all right everybody Thank you for listening. We love you right. That's true, that's true. Oh yeah, we're out of time anyway. All right. All right everybody, thank you for listening. We love you.

Write to us at Follow us. at freedomusa.gmail.com. Follow us on Instagram and Twitter, Freedom USA. And we'll, and if you want to listen ad free, you can either keep listening here or you can go to cbbworld.com or Stitcher Premium. We love you guys.

Thank you so much for listening. And we'll be back next week. Oh God. That was week. Oh, God. That was funny. Bye. Bye. Hi, everyone. Gloria Riviera here and we are back for another season of No One Is Coming to Save Us, a podcast

about America's childcare crisis. This season, we're delving deep into five critical issues facing our country through the lens of child care. Poverty, mental health, housing, climate change, and the public school system. By exploring these connections we aim to highlight that child care is not an isolated issue but one that influences all facets of American life. Season four of No One Is Coming to Save Us is out now wherever you get your podcasts. Are you in bed by 10? Can you feel your hormones raging more than ever?

Do you wake up every day wondering, is this it? Guess what? You're not alone. Welcome to My Soul Called Midlife, a weekly podcast hosted by me, Reshma Sajjani. On this show, we're going to expose the con we've been sold about middle-age, figure out what the fuck we want from our lives, and how to get there. We'll have help from guests like Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Supreme Court Justice Katanji Brown Jackson,

and Alana Glazer. You can listen to My Soul Called Midlife ad-free on Amazon Music.