Threedom - Threevisiting: My Secret Visitors...

Episode Date: March 28, 2023

Threevisiting on the Tues: Scott, Paul and Lauren discuss spankings, drugs and scary commercials. For their featured segment, the gang plays Hey Fred Schneider, What Are You Doing? and High-Low There.

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3-0! 3-0! 3-0! 3-0! 3-0! 3-0! Welcome to the show! Lauren cracks herself up and she's eating.

We should- Do we need to measure the cheesedig? It's kind of a thing. I love to eat. I love to eat. I love to eat. up and she's eating. Podcasts, faux pas. Do we need to measure the cheating? It's kind of her thing. I love to eat. I love to eat. I love to shit. I like it when it goes. I like it even better when it goes

out. I respect my food and my buttole. Hey everybody. I'm Paul F. Tomkins. I'm Scott Ocarvin. I'm more. Everything you say is going to be more like Lauren proceeded by. Sorry. I'm Scott Ocarvin. I'm Lauren. Everything you say is going to be more like Lauren for seeded by. Sorry, I'm thirsty. You're Lauren Lemonade.

Look at you. Well, here's what's cool. I went to Lemonade, which is a yum. Please get ready. Leather jackets. You will get your boxed dirt bikes. I went to Lemonade, which is a chain. Having an opposite of bathroom.

It doesn't exist everywhere. And an opposite of bathroom. It doesn't exist everywhere. And an opposite of bathroom and a gentleman. I ordered something and it took too long and they gave me a free lemonade and I was like, coupon for another free lemonade next time I go. So, the cheapest thing that they have on the menu, they gave you one for free and then-

I just probably like $3.29. Are you out of your mind? Do you remember that commercial? Yeah, five and a nine. Are you out of your mind? There's for Denny's, right? Yeah, probably. Probably. What commercial was it?

It was a commercial for it. Five and a nine. Are you out of your mind? Yeah, Friday night. Five and a nine. Oh, okay. But Friday night are you out of your mind? Where's seven? I'm out of my mind every Friday night. It's Friday night. Look, look, look.

I work hard all week doing this bullshit. Yeah, Friday. It's your real chance to come loose. Friday, you call it off the record. I talk off the record and I say all the things that I can't say here. You completely talk on background. that's an understanding you have with all of your friends who are all reporters. That's right. All of my friends are reporters. For Jennings. Super slam.

The super slam. Five million dollars. What was your moan? What was the super slam? What did it consist of? Hey, dookie. Bacon. Braking.

Dookie and breakin. Dookie and breakin. No one was supposed to be breaking it out. They would shit on the floor. For $5.99. We had to break it into a break dance. Break dance. Break out. Must be eggs, bacon, half bread.

Of course it is. What, eggs, bacon, hash browns, pancakes. Pancakes. Pancakes. I used to survive on the $1.50 Jack in the Box meal, which was a hamburger, a taco, fries, and a drink. That's a great deal. I mean, back in 1990, 91.

No, I've heard you talk about this before, but not on this show. Not on this show, I love it. But you're spanking pen down. I loved it. Spanking pen. But should we get him a paddle should we get him a special? Oh my god yeah Would it be like nobody's name it so it's more a

Three-sided like a pyramid spanker Okay Three-sided paddle so it's like a baseball bat but whittled down It's like a pyramid. Yeah like a pyramid and's like a pyramid. Yeah, like a pyramid and you like a Dredel. Yeah, like a Dredel. Thank you. Dredel Dredel Dredel Dredel Dredel made a face and you're but Were you were you guys spanked as children once only once yeah, I was that what the movie once is about Yeah, it's just you, go in your mom going, and it's one second long.

It's a gift. It truly is a gift. Well, what about with a belt? Yeah, I got it with a belt. Oh, Jesus. No. I never did. I got my mother slapped me across the face one time.

Ooh. But I never got spanked. What'd you do? Did you tell her honor? I will tell you. I took off her white gloves. I did. We had a duel. It was weird. Pistols her white gloves. I did. We had a duel.

It was weird. Pistols are done. It was weird. But we did it. And I'm alive. My mother isn't. So, do we see her? Do you want?

She passed away years later. Yeah, from real slow. From her sword wounds. I, my older brother used to do a thing where he would torment me by locking me out of the house. And so it was not fun because I would try, it was so frustrating and I would try to get back in. And I, we had a front door and a back door and it sounds like my body. Same. Love to eat through the front door.

What's the front door? The mouth. Okay. Love to poop through the back door. What's the front door? The mouth. Okay. Love to poop through the back door. What's the back door? Your ears? Yeah, I pooped through my ears. It's bad.

So he would be able to run back and forth. Right into the microphone. You would be able to run back and forth. It'd just constantly be like, okay, I'm gonna block the door in the back door. And would you do a fake out, like a quarterback fake out of a company? I would try, but I had more,

I was outside, so I had more ground to cover. He would just do a straight line. The shortest distance between two points. Well, we didn't live in a shotgun shot. It's a math, I'm not here to do math. So I, I was banging on the back door on the window, the window in the back door on the window, the window in the back door.

To what end, to say, someone else? Let me interrupt for someone else to fight. I can't remember. Right, I can't remember. Because maybe I thought my little brother was in there and he could hear me. Right, right, right.

Or maybe if I just raise enough of a racket, it'll be annoying. And it's like, all right, I can't remember. But I broke the window. And then when my mom got home and found the window broken, and she said, who broke the window before I could explain what had happened, she slapped me across the face. Ooh.

And I thought, did you say yes before she slapped you across the face? I think my brother immediately ratted me out. Oh, okay, yeah. As having done it. Did they just call you Paul? Or Paul, I've talked to him. Theyed me out. Oh, okay, yeah. As having done it. Did they just call you Paul? Or Paul, I've talked to him. They call me Paul.

What's your name? My, Francis. Oh. Disappointing? Yeah. Yeah. Of course. Yeah.

They would call, you know what I'm not a fernocker. I'm fancy food. I don't want to say I'll tell you off off the air. Tell off air what? What they called me. What they call. That was a little family nickname for me. Oh really?

I don't want people to be guests. No, no, no one needs to know. What if we guess it? Can you say yes? Absolutely. Bitch. All right. What's up, bitch?

Please say. I heard it enough. What a bitch. Okay, Scott. This is giving me terrible flashbacks flashback. Tomkins. I don't know. I'm good. Good. So she just all Tomkin. She just straight up open. Was it open hand? Yeah, of course. Yeah, that would be a punch otherwise. Yeah, right. But was it back? No, not back at it. Was it like, what? You cur. Are you crying?

Yeah, I did. I was, I felt betrayed and angry. It was, you know, it was all that stuff. Because you wanted to say like, you were in the wrong. And you were just trying to redress a wrong that it, I was, look, I was this guy. It just happened to you. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't, in was this guy. It just happened to you. Yeah, I didn't know.

In your home where you're family sleeps. Family sleeps where I play with my toys. I wasn't trying to break the window. No, of course not. Oh, it wasn't. Or was it, you know, when I was a kid, I had a watch, oh, it was so great.

It was a watch that played space invaders. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was it must have been 1980 or 1981 because I was in elementary school. Big watch. It was in our living room. And it sometimes also played happy days. It didn't tell the time. No, it was it had just come out. It was so cool. It was like a digital watch that also played space invaders. It was like my prize position. Now you're holding your two thumbs like your, your, your, well, you could take it off. You don't know space in Bader's.

Is it a game? Let me, here it is a game. Listen to this. What would it be if not a game? I show. Or a show or a song. That's how it's out. Space in Bader's.

And it was just like that. You, you, you, you. You were a little gun on the bottom of the, oh yeah, then you have to go on, do, do, do, little gun on the bottom of the screen. Oh, yeah. Then you have to go and do the kind of like palm, but it's like. Yeah, the invaders like start coming down. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I played that. You played that.

Yeah, yeah, I played that arcade. So I had it and it was so great. And then I let my friend wear it. Oh, shit. I don't wear this as edit. Anytime I did that, it was so bad. Yeah, so my friends like, I just, do you mind if I wear it during recess?. Anytime I did that, it was about it. Yeah, so my friends, like, I just, do you mind if I wear it during recess?

I just wanted to, like, it's so cool. I was like, yeah, sure. And then we were playing tag in the, you know, on all the playground equipment. And I was up on the slide and he came running up the slide to get me and my feet were down towards him. And just like instinctively, I like jerked my foot out and it kicked him in the face.

Oh! And he was, he was just like, fuck you. And took off the watch and threw it against the playground equipment and broke it. She's, how old are you guys? 10. Wow. And fuck you. Maybe it. Wow. And fuck you.

Maybe it wasn't a total fuck you. I will. I won. Go to fun. This is bad, but I once kicked a boy in the balls for no reason. That makes me just like, hey, check out the balls. I like playing up to him.

It was like clock and then he like fell to the ground. I mean, it was like horrible. Just you wanted to see what's going on. I don't know why. I don't know why. It was like a thing then he like fell to the ground. I mean, it was like horrible. But I don't want to see what's going on. I don't know why. I don't know why. It was like a thing to just came over you. Like, yeah, I don't know. I think something was came over you.

That's it. Like someone must have been like, go do that or so. I don't know. Maybe you've been told sure that someone else's fault. Well, it got to be. I mean, I obviously, I went along with it, or I just thought of doing it because I saw it in something or something

I don't know. I know I know I heard about the mystery of balls. Well, also you've been watching America's funny. Just some videos a lot of sure Probably just that'd be funny. Yeah, but no one was taping you. Yeah, there were no sound effects and no scob music. I don't remember getting in I'm sure I did I never really put it together. Have they played scab music? Oh, there's a whole sketch about it on Big Bang. Oh, really? Yeah, we're, we're, uh, best or right?

Best or plays a scog guy. Yeah. I don't remember the America's funny as some videos. Well, it started out as like we, as, as Reggie had been, had a hidden camera on him for his entire life. And then every, every video descended into him being hit in the balls with something and scom music started playing.

And then it's just much like a bang, bang, sketch where it starts as one thing, becomes another thing and then becomes a totally different thing, segue into a sco video. What? You hit yourself in the balls. Oh, Lauren, the balls are on balls.

I'm not care. I heard so bad. Ha, ha, ha, ha. I hit not care. I heard so. Finally karma. It's like my whole body's hot. What effect? What effect kid you kicked in the balls as a ghost? Yeah, I just kicked my knee. Oh, do you think he died from being kicked in the balls? He might have what if that was the part of the story that Lawrence not telling us? Like she kicked him so hard in the balls his testicle split open and just fell on the ground and he died of blood. You died of blood. I didn't finish my. Well, I can't win

all day. Most guys stick when their balls drop. Something good is going to happen. Oh, you're back. So your knees find out. I'm still in pain. Speaking of watches, I did not know how to tell time until I was in seventh grade. What? And I was given a watch for Christmas. That's unusual for a person now. We were stressed out in class. Oh, that's hard.

And then did you test where you had to say like what a clock said on it? I don't think so because I don't remember that ever happening. But I remember remember I've told this on spontaneous nation because Andy Daly had the same thing that he was, it took him forever to learn how to tell time. I remember finding it really overwhelming. When you think about it, you don't need to anymore. Like the clock face, it's out of date at this point.

There's no reason for it. Well, but everyone uses them. No, but it's still around it's still around your all. Do you know what I mean? Well, for the only thing that, that it's necessary for is for when someone's at your three. You know what I mean? But what about like, like when you're playing, shoot them up games, shoot them up games. Like a space and a clock.

Sorry, like that. Yeah, but they're not like so necessary. Like, you know, you can look at something else, but then it's like, I have this clock as an art piece and I look at my phone when I want to know what time it is. Yeah, I remember getting into it because I like watches a lot. I like time pieces a lot and I remember a guy very smugly asking me like,

why would anyone have a watch anymore? Right, yeah. And fuck this guy. You know, you can just look at your phone. You can look at your phone. And I said, I want to look at my phone. Well, do you know what time it is right now? And he said, no, my phone's in my pocket. And I looked at my wrist and I said, well, I do. It's time for you to shut the fuck up. But you should have said, yeah. And that's what I did say. And he did. And he died from it.

And he just took me in the ball. He was so tight. No air went in or out. I shut him down so hard, it sealed his mouth up. Yeah, it's like why, why ever, like why not just sealed clothes to your body and have one thing of clothes? Scott, this is also what I said.

Yeah, I said that to him too. Yeah, exactly the way I said it, sort of hesitatingly. Yeah, why not? Why not to be the boy? Why not to do? Why not to do? Why not to do? Why not to do?

Why not to do? Why not to do? Why not to do? I don't know. Simply understand yourself. Simply understand yourself. Simply understand yourself. Simply understand yourself.

Simply understand yourself. Simply understand yourself. Simply understand yourself. Simply understand yourself. Simply understand yourself. Simply understand yourself. Simply understand yourself. Simply understand yourself. Simply understand yourself. Simply understand yourself. Simply understand yourself. Simply understand yourself. Simply understand yourself. Simply understand yourself. Simply understand yourself. Simply understand yourself. Simply understand yourself. Simply understand yourself. Simply understand yourself. Simply understand yourself. Simply understand yourself. Simply understand yourself. Simply understand yourself. Simply understand yourself. Simply understand yourself. Simply understand yourself. She's so fine. She knows. This was a free show joke. Good to leave free show. We had to bring it on them to hot for free show. To leave free show. It's too hot for free show. Too hot for no one to hear. Too good. Got to share it. Lauren, did anyone, did you used to watch the too hot for TV type stuff?

No, but I vaguely know what you're talking about. Jerry Springer was the first one I ever watched. Oh, yeah. Like a 90's. I did watch Jerry Springer. 95 or 96, I remember going over to like, Ken Daly's house and watching the Jerry Springer. Oh, I'd never be like a video judge.

Yeah, you had to order it online. Yeah, okay. I never saw if I'm gonna come up with commercials. It was like kind of at the same time as like, girls gone wild. Yeah, yeah. Like, where are we gonna get our porn? The internet isn't invented yet.

So I know. I know. I'll just jerk off to girls lifting their shirts over and over. Did girls go wild? Did that guy, Joe? What was the name, Joe, something? Yeah. Did he just segue into porn?

porn online? No, he had some legal troubles. Oh, yeah, I believe. And maybe in Carcery, I can't recall. Shevon! Look it up, Shevon. Look it up, strong stock. Look it up, Shevon.

Then look it up. Shevon, we recently had a communique with Shevon. Yes. And he included in his response response a link to a Google image search of Shevin, which is apparently some Star Wars expanded universe monster. Really? It's so weird thing. Can I tell you what happened to the guy? Yeah. Joe Francis. Joe Francis. Oh, Joe Francis. Yeah, oh, Joe Francis talks. Oh, you're middle name. I mean, I got him. In June, 2019.

He's in jail. Ashley Alexandra Dupree alleged that Francis and his company filmed her without permission, but she dropped the suit after Francis released footage showing her consent. She dropped her bathing suit, that is. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. In 2008, four women sued girls gone wild for allegedly filming them as minors.

Francis were presented. Francis represented himself for the part of the trial until the judge cited him for contempt of court and fined him $2,500 for asking a plaintiff during cross examination if she was a prostitute. Francis hired two lawyers at same day. That's just good lawyer. Are you a prostitute? So you don't care who sees your tits.

Francis hired two lawyers that same data represent him for the duration of the trial. Same day. Oh, I can't afford another $25.00 into bucks. I think I better get two lawyers for this. Francis ultimately pleaded no contest to child abuse and prostitution. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no In February 2012, Nevada Judge Mark Denton awarded Steve win $7.5 million for defamatory statements made by Francis.

In September 2012, a jury awarded Steve win. Steve win as no tips. Plenty million dollars in a slander case against Joe Francis for claiming that win had threatened to kill him over gambling debt. Francis' witnesses all denied hearing win make such threats. The jury added $20 million in punitive damages. In November 2012, Judge Joanne O'Donnell reduced Steve Wins Award by 21 million to 19 million.

O'Donnell would recently be jury's award was speculative and based on their just like a Francis. And that's it, okay. So he's not in Carcer 80s, he's just still rich and able to give away $20 million as though at the drop of that. Do you remember when Steve Wins put a hole in a painting? Winn.

Winn. This is he. Steve Winn. This is the years ago. He like fucking actually put his elbow through a priceless. Oh, I remember that. Yeah, yeah. And he has a sharp enough elbow that yeah, or it was stretched.

It was a Todd enough painting. He put lasers. Get me going. enough download that yeah or it was stretched. It was a Todd enough painting. He would put razors. Get me going. The painting was taught to his elbow was so pointy. You put razors in his sleeves like peaky blinders. Now you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're we need to go you you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm gonna take a bite and I still will. What is that? What do you got over there? Talk to Chikouki. So what? Smart asell.

Why is this not being, you know, good looking. Go disseminate throughout the, uh, I'm gonna have a little bite. I'm gonna have a, uh, little bite too. You wanna have a little bite? Yeah. Here we go. Shevon, you don't get me.

Oh shit, I took too much. Oh. Oh, and I was a kid. I remember, my mom bought flinchstones truly. Oh, and I was a kid, I remember, my mom bought Flintstone's true. Oh, you're vegan. Yeah, I ate the whole jar. Oh no.

Oh my God, I used to hide those in my underwear drawer. There was no, did you not catch a cold for a full year? I thought you were gonna stop it underwear. I've never had a cold. Wow. I've never been to the doctor. He has so much vitamin C. My friend, I, maybe I shouldn't tell the story

because it's not my story, not because he would mind because he's told it, but my friend. I haven't we only told stories that are anyone's story. I don't know. We've told a lot of other people's stories. How we, okay, so my friend. I don't think that's true. Who do you?

My friend used to sell LSD. I'm listening. And he had, he had, he had, he had it in drop liquid form, right? And so you would, you would put it on to something. I believe is that how it works? You would like do a, do a drop onto something. So he was like, he wanted to sell, he had like 30 drops of LSD and he wanted to sell it. But he drops of LSD, dude, uh, 30 drops of LSD. I got sell these now. But he also wanted to get high. So he said, so he said, you know what I'll do?

I'll put, I'll put the 30 drops of LSD in my mouth and then after like a half hour, I'll spit it back into the, I'll spit it back out and then I'll sell it. So you see the dumbest person alive that's how I know it works? Well, he then fell asleep and swallowed it all. And who is this person? that's the thing. I have a cup of Coca-Cola, but my friend wants it, but I really want to taste it. So I'll drink the whole cup and then spit it back in because I'll get the flavor. Well, that's how anything works. You're describing anorexia right now. That's bulimia. Oh, sorry. Or probably both. But yeah, so and then he saw he had hallucinations for years.

I have to, I have to go back because this, this makes so little, how old was this guy at the time? God, I would have, maybe 20s. Wow. What the fuck? That's so, that's also like my fear of drugs like that is that I would have some sort of break and then be like now I have problems. Now I have problems.

I have problems. I took too many drugs. I held the LSD liquid in my mouth and then I swallowed it of course. Of course. I'm not even getting it to you anymore. Well, he's, I think I said drugs. I swallowed it of course. I'm not even getting a tune anymore. Well, he's, I think I got a drug. I swallowed it up. Of course.

10 roof. Oh, that's a game actually that I was going to tell you guys about what is. Okay. We just play it this time. Okay. We'll play it after our next break. Okay. 10 root. It's a, is it called 10 roof rested? No, but it's similar to what? Calling something 10 roof rested. It's a fresh night or game. It's an okay great. I know this is exciting. This is exciting. We'll play that after the break. Lauren you ever do how many drugs have you done? I'm gonna talk about that here. Shit because your mom listens. Yeah. Hello Mrs. Lapkins. Oh, family list. Hi Trish. Thank you for getting that subscription to Stitra Premium. Have you checked out John Lefistane's retirement party?

I saw a feud on Twitter between you and John. I was on, I was on John's podcast. I listened to that episode. One of the first episodes. And so he had a long interview with Karen Kilgarif and then he had a smaller interview with me.

And I was like, as I'm listening to the episode I'm realizing, I don't think I'm, maybe I'm not on this one really, because the time is like slipping away. Yeah, I'm listening to him. And he's still talking to Karen. And that's idle. Yeah, my name was in there.

Time keeps on slipping. Into the future. And so then we're, so then finally, oh, I am on this, okay. So keeps on slipping. Into the future. And so then we're so then finally, oh, I am on this. Okay. So we're talking and then all of a sudden, like I'm speaking, then there's a very abrupt fade out. And then he's just talking about a completely different topic and do a different. What's happening? I just faded you. As a life that you're in and do, then I was confused. I faded you out the same way. But during the explanation, so people won't understand. Yes. Okay. Good. So there was an abrupt fade out. And then John just started

talking about something else. Yeah. And no mention of the fan. Oh, we're done with that guy. And also wasn't your full interview. No. And also like I mid sentence any faded. He was like, and that's enough. Yeah, that's enough for this jerk. So I gave him a hard time about it on Twitter. And I was I was surprised by it. But I wasn't like furious. But I wanted to need a limb about it. Because I thought that would be fun for both of us. But I think it was only fun for me. I think so. I also. Which took the fun out of it for. Yeah. Yeah. I'm glad that you enjoyed fun for me. I think so. I also enjoyed it. Which took the fun out of it for me. Yeah.

I'm glad that you enjoyed it. Yeah, I had fun. I like when I watch something unfold on Twitter. It's exciting. It's exciting. It's in real time. In IRT. Yeah.

Start the clock. What am I doing? Space Invaders are real time. This is a good game. Doing real time. Because she just said real time. I know. But okay, now what am I doing?

Space Invaders. Now you're doing Space Invaders. Okay, now what I'm doing. Real time. Space Invaders. You're doing real time to slow down, but okay, now what am I doing? Space and video. Now you're doing space and video. Okay, now what I'm doing. Real time. Do do do do do. You're doing real time to slow down to episodes and it was like 11 30 at night. And I should have thought it was crazy for this is my kind of this is where I live. This is what I like to do.

So I wrote to I wrote to hit to Andy and John was included on the thread. What did you think of that abrupt fade out? And then Andy wrote back a joke. John did not respond. So I don't know. I think we need to broke her piece. Would it surprise you to know he's here right now? No, he's got a podcast on the same one.

Okay, well, it wouldn't be surprising. It stands up for himself and he's fine. He's a grown ass man. He's a grown ass man. You don't got to do scared of him. He's a kid. He's got to try to appease him. You don't got to try to appease a grown ass man. We do scared of him. He's a gay. I tried to appease him. You don't gotta try to appease a grown-ass man.

We do, we do, we do. We do, we do. We do, we do, we do. We do, we do. What do you think is the cutoff for, like when is someone a grown-ass man? Is it truly 13 as they say in the Jewish tradition? Yeah.

No. What? You don't think so? Is this strange, like that is so out of date. Yeah, Jews. Jews are strange. No, so. I feel like you have to be 29 to be a grown-ass man

in this day and age. Yeah, that was not true for me. That was not true. No, I mean, I don't think it should have to be. It took me a long time. Oh, you thought even later. Yeah, for me, yeah, for sure. How late would you say that?

For a long guys, I know. Well, because all these comedian idiots. I would say, I always, you know, I was a comedian idiot for quite a time. It takes them a long time to get mature. I would say in my mid-30s is when I started to kind of realize that I was not as grown up as I thought I was. But that, I think that's true. But that's true of everything.

But that's true of everything. I feel that way when I was saying it. Why are you going to say it? You're life. That every, well you know that song. Which one? You mean start the fire? By the faces. Why are you gonna say that every well you know that song which one you insert the fire by the faces Yes, what about it? I just was listening to it and I was like this Thank you. What about it?

I was just was listening to it. And I was like, this is, I love this song. And I was talking to Mike about how, when he first listened to it, it like blew his mind because he was kid and it was like, oh my God, like yeah, I'm older now and I get it, you know, like that kind of thing. But how old was he when he?

A kid, I mean, like, yeah, but just realizing that you will know more than you knew you always will know more until you have some sort of debilitating to you know brain disease. Yeah, and then you know less and less and less until you're done. They know when they are unexpected my visitors. There's a commercial that's about I don't even know what it's for. If it's for a medicine or if it's for just awareness, but it's about dementia. And so it's this guy who's like seeing, he's having hallucinations. It's like that.

But it's like, he's not one can protect you. He's narrating it. They come unexpectedly, my strange visitors. He does this weird, he does this weird horror movie. Strangers will come to your house tonight. Wait, have you seen a quiet place? Yes, I have seen a quiet place. Is it a room? Did you see the Strangers? Yes, I saw the Strangers. The Strangers will always come for you. Every question we ask you to say answer like, yes, I will always answer for you. What? You have requests and we ask you to say answer like yes. I will always answer like this. When is your birthday?

Yes. 70s or like the peanut. Yes, my birthday is September 6. Yes. Yeah, no, it's all about his strange like mental like hallucinations. He's having yes, he's having something's in her throat there. Fantasms. Do you feel like your birthday is the only real birthday?

Yeah, of course. What are you talking about? Like, you're the only person that actually does like your soul sister. My date? No, that's not how I feel. But when I hear my birthday date, I'm like, that's what a birthday is.

That's a birthday. That's not your typical birthday. Well, three or something, you're like, no, it's them. I think when they're too close to certain holidays, I'm like, you don't, you don't have a real birthday. I got my September six, that's a birthday. That's a birthday. That's a birthday.

September 12th. That's not a birthday. I never forget. That's a birthday. That's a birthday. That's a birthday. That's a birthday. That's a birthday.

But yeah, I think if I hear someone's like, oh, my birthday is December 24, I was like mentally shake my head and go, you poor, sad. That's Christmas Eve. I do know Christmas baby. Any Christmas babies? I knew one growing up. I don't know anymore. I know a Christmas baby.

You do. I think it's a cool thing that would happen, that's happened to somebody as a parent is cool, but then it's like you have to every year try to separate those two holidays. It seems very difficult. I think it's better to be born on Christmas than Christmas Eve. No, because then you do have a whole Christmas Eve birthday day.

And then, what do they do? Because I don't know, like I think celebrating a birthday now is we're so old that who gives a shit. Uh, disagree. But when you're, but when you're young, it's so important. It's so important.

Yeah. Here in America, it was traditionally growing up. Like America. Well, yeah, I think that when you're going, you don't care if it's a different day. I believe in America. We celebrate their day. That birthdays. America will come to your house and ruin your birthday.

Everyone's birthdays important. I'm sorry, I said that. That's strange visitors come to me. Only on my birthday. I know it. They attack me mentally. They tear down my defenses. Until I am no longer able to withstand.

I gotta find that commercial. No, I don't. Shevin does. Shevin does. Shevin does. Hmm. Shevin? Look up dementia commercial. You know what, I've been watching commercials lately

for medication and fun. Trying to find what you like. You're just trying to flip through him. He like, is there anything gonna work? You've been doing it lately. So many side effects. No, but I'm like, Cool up, cool up, cool up. What, come on, come on, it's time.

What about this one? We're gonna watch the commercials. But I've, they're so weird. The activities. We're doing a microwave to have porn. Syphilis and growing though. They're always doing like, this can be your life if you get,

if you use this commercial, or if you use this medication, they're always some activity like they're at a county fair and they're a lot, you know, they have to be outside. They have to be doing physical activities. And you know, they shoot those things this medication, there are always some activity like they're out of county fair and they're allowed. They have to be outside, they have to be doing physical activities. And you know, they shoot those things in like South Africa. They do today?

Yes, because Janie does a lot of commercials and she goes on a lot of commercial auditions. And there was one for some fibromyalgia medicine where if you see this commercial now, there's multiple versions of this commercial and they always do the same thing where the, it's always a woman. She has to indicate that she's stealing. Was it a dog? She's feeling the pain, of course. Oh, chance.

To indicate she's feeling the pain of fiber magic. She has to put her right hand sort of on top of her left shoulder and give us a subtle, really subtle grimace. And it's the same movement and the same face for every single one of these. Every single one of these, yeah. They're very specific about it in the audition. Marseille, Marseille. But she was up for one of those where it was going to shoot herself, Africa.

Pretty cool. And so we're watching TV. She's like, wait, I think this is the one that I auditioned for. And then there, it's just like, it's, it looks so USA, there's no way that that was the one. But it's also, there's a million of these commercials. Well, I also don't get why things have to shoot in random places like that one. It's like an indoor thing.

It's saving the money somehow. It's the craziest thing. I'm like, I trip You fly it all the time. I trip out that all the time. Because you like, you get a commercial. Yeah. Cool up did a commercial on Miami. I think for oranges or something. My eyes and it's like why not. People are buying them. Why not get just get a Miami actor. Cool up. Yeah.

Cool up. When Miami. Miami. It's a bajillion reference. Oh, okay. That's for the for the fourth season that no one has seen. Okay. Well, I've seen it. I don't get it. that no one has seen. Okay, well I've seen it. You haven't seen it apparently. I know you've seen it. This was Eugene Cordero.

Oh, you know why? Because I don't know if it made the, I think it did make the final cut though, but he's asking if someone wants to come with him to Miami and every take you would say Miami in a different way or not. Yes, I have seen this. Where you come with me to Miami? Myo mo.

Myo mo. Myo mo. Myo. My mom. My mom. My mom. My mom. He's funny. He's funny. He's funny. He should be here, but we'll never have a guess. Hey, why would you never? No, she haven't just switched place. What? No, she's. I was like sheven stormed down the room. I thought sheven left. Sheven. But Sam left and sheven took his place. Oh, this is a twist ending. That was a twist.

So sheven, did you find the commercial? Wait, do you remember this commercial? It's on still like every year They do exist I do exist he does exist they do exist. I hate it so much. I hate it so much I hate it so much night. This isn't I can't I hate that it there's still running it Don't you hate that? fucking I hate that they're still running it. Don't you hate that fucking guy is the M&M? M&M. That Oscar-winning actor isn't it?

Oh, JK Simmons. I find that. So go over for John Goodman. But I'm like, give it to somebody else now. He comes to me at night. JK Simmons. He's still in the open. And those insurance commercials too.

Yeah, I was Vin Diesel Groot. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, it's like let somebody else go Groot. Yeah, literally. But you don't even know the one three words I'm Groot he says I'm Groot I'm Groot he's gonna say it a different great few different ways I'm Groot can't finish can't finish time I'm Groot he comes to me at night Groot comes to me and says he is Groot my strange strange visitor. Um, is she ever they defied it? Oh, no. What is this? Record from your cell. Recorders from your

website. Every way I say, Jimmy Spies, I'm going to go on on that. This is not the one. This is it. This is terrifying. I'm doing it, then. Oh, Jesus Christ. In my experiencing this, what is this a cliff? Oh, I

grandpa. I don't think you Jesus Christ in my experiencing this what is this a cliff? Good night and give me instructions I don't like please kill all the babies That was terrifying Wait, what was the last The green M&M is voiced by Cree summer who's an amazing voice actress What was the last thing? Oh, I just wanted to say, I just wanted to say, the green M&M is voiced by Crees Semmer, who's an amazing voice actress, and also regular on screen actress, but she's on.

She makes me horny. And she's also on Harvey Street Kid. She makes me horny. The green M&M makes me so horny. I know. Oh my God, one, I can't tell what story. You can't tell what stories can you not tell about you being horny, about you taking drugs?

Yeah, it disinvolves everything. Disinvolves you taking drugs and becoming horny for them? I found it. I'm gonna send it to you. Okay, great. We need to take a break. When we come back, we'll hear this terrifying commercial and we'll also play something regarding,

I don't even remember what the original reference was anymore. Me neither. Green M&Ms. Green M&Ms. Okay, we'll be right back, Green M&Ms. Green M&Ms. C-Gremms to you. The Appear out of nowhere.

My secret visitors. Appearing next to me in plain sight. Collousinations and delusions. These are the unknown parts of living with Parkinson's disease. Parkinson's? What stories they tell. But what stories they tell. Oh dear.

What plots they unfold? What only do they mine? It's so specific. It's so dramatic. It's so dramatic. It's so f*****g like that. I didn't know that. It's so, it's so, it's so specific.

It's so specific. The writer must be so proud of this work. I mean, it's so very specific that it's rings true. Let me tell you something. The guy is acting the sh shit out of it is. But the name's so sweet. You gotta see him. I'm full.

The parts that are holding the Parkinson's. How many more? Oh, it's only terrifying. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't know that that was, I didn't know there was mental stuff associated with Parkinson's.

I didn't either. Okay, it's time to play a feature. What's that? Where are you looking at me like that? I'm just looking at the time for the feature. Okay. Time for the feature. Tea for the fee.

Tea for the fee. This game is... It's called, hey, Fred Schneider, what are you doing? And it's in the voice of Fred Schneider from B52s. And it's like, you go like, so you kind of start a clap. Hey, Fred, not, hey, well, I,

piece of people, first of all, it's an improv game. And I've been in different cities doing this game and people do it with different rhythms. So you're gonna say that right now. But where I grew up, we played it like this. Hey, Fred Schneider, what are you doing? And then you do it with your voice, and you go like, I'm firing and nag with the baggy wig.

You can say words that I actually made. OK, so. You went down frying and nag with a big wig. And what's the, how do we? You just try to keep going. How do we win? You how do we? You just try to keep going. How do we win? You got a we win. At last.

There's, there, I don't even know that it's a good feature because I don't know that there's a win. And then also we might have to switch to one of our features that someone suggested. Fridge Knighter, what are you doing? You come to be at night. Let's just try it. Okay.

For just a second. And we just say random things. Yeah. What would you, what would you, what would you what would you like to do. What would you do? Hey Fritz Knighter. What are you doing? Fritz Knighter, what are you doing? Try to get my seat and bumped up to first class. Hey

Fritz Knighter, what are you doing? Waiting for my silent friends to come to me at class. Hey, Fritz Nider. What are you doing? Waiting for my silent friends to come to me at night. Hey, Fritz Nider. What are you doing? Gushing my extensive wig collection. Hey, Fritz Nider. What are you doing? Throwing a watch against playground equipment.

Hey, Fritz Nider. What are you doing? Going and walking all around the mall. Hey, Fritzider. What are you doing going and walking all around the mall? Hey, Fritzider. What are you doing? I'm begging a cookie for a home, Miss Mack. Hey, Fritzider. What are you doing? I have to sleep, so please shut up. Hey, Fritzider. What are you doing? Watching DVD commentary a fight club. Hey, Fr Knighter! What are you doing? What are you doing? Watching DVD commentary a fight club! Hey!

Fritz Knighter! What are you doing? I'm sending fan mail to Judge Judy! Hey! Fritz Knighter! What are you doing? It's Christmas time! Christmas Findout!

Who? Hey! Fritz Knighter! What are you doing? I'm at the genius bar trying to get someone to talk to me! Hey! Fritz Knighter, what are you doing? I'm athogenious bar trying to get someone to talk to me. Hey, Fritz Knighter, what are you doing? I'm cleaning the stains out of my underpants. Hey, Fritz Knighter, what are you doing?

I am falling and I won't get up. Hey, Fritz Knighter, what are you doing? Trying to cover up a murder I committed. Let's have Kevin do it. Fritz Knighter, what are you doing? Trying to cover up a murder I committed. Let's have Kevin do it. What are you doing? Drinking maple syrup out of a Pepsi can. What are you doing? I'm climbing the wall with a braided rope.

Hey, fresh. What are you doing? Looking under cable cars for some gold. Hey, fresh. What are you doing? I cable cars for some gold? Hey Are you doing I'm in the spider exhibit trying to get it so I can have powers of spider-man Hey What are you doing hanging out with Does that the sweetest the sweetest derailman

The sweetest, the sweetest derailman. Oh, and comedy bang bang. Based on that? Yeah. You should do Fred Center on comedy bang bang. By the way, this is my show. Okay, it's a good show. Comedy bang bang or this one? This one.

Oh. Oh. Yeah, see you're all my puppets. Help. Help. Do you want to play another game? Okay. Okay, well, pause for a second.

We have a million suggestions. My secret visitors, the plots unfolding. Okay, I found one. Okay, so this comes to us from... This comes to us, by the way, we put out a call for people to send us games to play. This comes to us from Tom LUM, LUM, aka Tom LUM person on Twitter and he says, he says, he suggests a feature called high low there. Two people have a conversation,

but one person has to increase their pitch each sentence, the other lower, the losers, whomever the third person cannot understand first. All right. So thank you. So that's high low there. So let's play it. So I'll be the judge first so. Okay. And who's going high and who's going low? I guess I'll go high. I'll go low. When I go high, you go low. Yeah. The Michelle Obama game. Let's call it shallow when they go low. We go high. Um, do you guys start on a on the same frequency? Yeah, just kind of neutral. Okay, just with your regular voices. You're just talking. Yes. Okay.

But out of the same time. No, certainly not conversation. Okay. So what are your plans for your birth? Two burbers. Well, I was going to go out to a restaurant with friends. So what are your plans for your birthday? Two burpees. While I was going to go out to a restaurant with friends. Oh, it's a really good idea. I feel like I know a few good places I could recommend. I'd love to hear those recommendations.

Well, I could tell you about you started way too low already. Okay. There's a great place called Sugarfish. That is all sushi. It's all sushi because I don't think that everyone in my party eats sushi. Well, that will be a problem because they don't have any other options. You're at the exact same level. They don't have like a land lover plate.

No. Okay. Lauren, you've lost. You lost. I have like a lamb lover plate. No. No. Okay. Lauren, you've lost. You lost. Can I go high? You lost. You're going to high.

You go high and I'll go high. Okay, I know I was exactly the same for the most of that. Do you like roller coasters? Okay, so high. That's a, oh wait, you're starting high. I know that's a, Do you like roller coasters? I do, yes. That's great.

I like them too. No, I don't actually, I'm lying. You didn't even go higher. I'm going incrementally higher because I was fucking growing it. That was small increments. I like that. That's a small and fascinating

increment. I can't wait to and fascinating group it. I Can't wait to do play this okay? Well you guys played twice in a row So I don't I'm not getting a chance you're okay. I can if you don't like roller coasters What amusement park rides do you like I like to talk to the characters? So you're saying you just go up to the characters and start a conversation Yeah, I like to like go get their autograph or like go take a picture with them. Which is your favorite character? You are both on each. Mickey Mouse!

Paul, sorry, you're out. The going blow is too hard unless you guys started on higher. Okay, you do it. Genius, you received an envelope. But the problem is, is you can only go... What if you go as high as you can? What if the person doesn't have the same language? I do what you want.

That's exactly what I was going to say. The person going to blow the start is high as you can, and vice versa. And then you just work the other way back. Yeah, instead of starting neutral. You and me do it. Me? Yeah. Okay.

What do you want to start? Well, I'm going to start as high as I can. I'll start as low as I can. Okay. And you're going to be the judge. But you're going higher and you're going lower. Mm-hmm. All right.

Have you ever been? Well, I can't understand you That's one of the few states Cheating what's that cheating? It's cheating just covering the thing I was in I was in slow I thought maybe you should try it sometime it seems really neat I have always wondered if it would be a fun place to take a cruise to. I'm sure it would be. It would be very cool to take a cruise there and see the whale. Have you ever been on a cruise? No, I haven't been on a cruise. Actually, yes, I have. I went to Hawaii on a cruise and I

hated it. I've only been on one cruise, Tom. Ha ha ha. I've been on Tom Cruise too. It was the best sex of my day. Wait, which day was this? Thursday. Oh, okay, I had sex with him on Friday. Ha, how funny. Thursday of 2002. Oh, okay, mine was Friday of 2012.

Why did we both act like it was quarantine? Well, I don't know why we would do something like this. Lauren's plateaued. The problem is. Everything. What is the problem? You can only make your voice so, I mean, you can only make your voice so higher, so low.

But it's easier to be indistinguishable if you get really high Then if you get really low because if you get you you hit a bottom where you can't make it Yeah, but I feel like I feel like Lauren went all the way down way quicker than I did So I guess it's not it's not it's not if your voice is in this is in distinct indescribable It's just if when do you when if your voice is, is, is, is, is, is, is distinct, indecisurable. It's just how, if, when do you, when do you, yeah, when do you max out that's, so who, who has, really fun? No, it's not.

This game has any of this been fun? I think it's been fun for the listeners. I, I, I, I, I, there's one guy he's having a ball. This guy's getting his Cheerios. He's fucking working. it while this is happening. Did you see the documentary, Evil Genius, son? That's like, I died. I one point she's, when she's,

they're talking to her and she's in jail and she's saying, he's getting his Cheerios. She's, I never heard that. I might be weird, but I'm gonna say, she's crazy. I know. Do you think she's crazy? See you by the hype. Yeah, I guess I do. I. And I think she's crazy. She by the hype. Yeah, I guess I do.

I don't know if she was a genius, by the way. I thought she was a psycho. Someone's in jail and someone's a woman who like, I don't know, 10 years ago. I know what this is. Put a basically this man walked into a bank with a bomb strapped around his neck. And he got his head blew up when it finally went off. They found this woman to be the cause and there's a whole documentary. Meaning she strapped it around his neck and blew him up? She set the bomb and she made a goal.

She suicides quadri- She, I guess she masterminded this plan. Yeah, I mean, she's evil, but I don't think it's genius. I think it's just disturbing. Yeah. I don't like the idea of glorifying No, she's not a genius. It's just fucked up that anyone would think of this. I mean, it's it's inventive I guess she's creative. Yeah, she's creative. She has follow through. They should have called evil creative stick to itiveness. Yeah, I'm sorry the games weren't bad for a skumption. No, we tried anything glad that we tried it

For a skumption for aumpshin absolutely is a thing. That's my main personality trait. Like if his name had been Forrest Gumpshin. I've got Forrest Gumpshin. What if I never seen him move me? Who are you doing? I'm being like, You're trying to bluff me.

Oh, yeah, I've seen Forrest Gump. I've seen it. I'm Forrest Gump. And now run as Farrest as these braces will carry me, my dear good woman. Have a good one. I'm Ferris Guump. And I'm meatin' a king.

Hello. I'm Ferris Guump. Very nice. My Forest. That was my wife. My Forest. That was my wife. My Forest.

I want my cookie. Oh, poor Lauren. That's a cookie. Is it time? No, it's not a shirt. What is not a shirt? Everything's a shirt. My secret visitors.

My secret visitors come to me. The blessed Illuminati have come to give me instructions which I will then parlay into action. The plot some full. What is not a shirt? In the choose your own adventure of the mind, I have chosen anarchy. I've never seen you love a bit so much as you were enjoying this until I could do this all day All right, we should call it but

One ten if you by the way if you are sinking up You're trying to listen to this at the exact time of day that we recorded it. That's when you need to know a clock face because clocks and hospitals, I don't think they're, I think, look, I get all my major hospitals or television. Can I just say?

And they always look at a clock with a regular old clock face. Something I think is funny about what's happening right now is that we're like petering out, but we're about to do a whole another hour right after that. Yeah. We're only people at the zip. We're going like, I don't know what else to say. We're only petering out.

And then we're going to kick it back up with a whole new. We're only petering out because we ran our steam on the features. The game, yeah. Yeah, it broke my heart. This is what I love about freedom. And because it's like the Hanukkah of podcasts We it seemed like we only had barely enough energy for one episode But the miracle is we're going to have it for another episode pull it out of ourselves

Kevin has an idea that we should do the high-low game, but just saying I like parties Okay, all right. Let's try that not like a improv you and me all right here we go Should we should we start on let's let's do this I have a quest. Let's start at the same point. Okay, and you go higher I like parties I like parties I like parties I like parties I like parties I like parties. We'll see you next time. Love you. I love you. I like parties. The parties come to me and they tell me they give me their simple instructions. I am malleable enough to interpret them as they wish. I like parties. Alright, bye.

you