Threedom - Threevisiting: No More Witches No More Goblins

Episode Date: November 4, 2025

Threevisiting on the Tues: Lauren, Paul and Scott talk about road rage, putting turkeys in other holidays and play a new Threeture: Threevia.  Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Unlock every episode of THREEDOM and THREEMIUM, ad-free, on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A, G, one, right? If you know, you know, right? It's just like being in group seven. AG1, it's not just another supplement. It's a daily micro habit that supports whole body health in one scoop. In fact, it's a way of life. Let me take you through a typical day for me, right? Okay, so I'm waking up, smashing my agey one, right?

And then it is go time, baby, done with groggy afternoons now that it's getting darker earlier, trying to trick my brain into going asleep every five minutes. No, superfoods and B vitamins support steady energy without the crash. And no matter how hard the holiday diet hits, you know, I'm staying as finally tuned as a luxury timepiece, prebiotics, probiotics, probiotics, postbiotics, midbiotics, if it's biotic, I'm taking it. They help support regularity and gut resilience. If you care about wellness and, well, Ness, you should, if your name is Ness, like Elliot Ness. You'll just like, what's that Tupac song?

Never mind. Anyway, you will definitely want to check out AG1. Seriously, I was never much of a supplement guide until I figured out what AG1 was all about, and it completely changed the game. I honestly feel better than ever. Get yourself some and drink it up, baby. Head to drink ag1.com slash freedom to get a free welcome kit with an AG1 flavor sampler

and a bottle of vitamin D3 plus K2. When you first subscribe, that's drinkag1.com slash freedom. It's morning in New York. Oh, God. Hey, everybody. I'm Mandy Patinkin. And I'm Catherine, Brody. And we have a new podcast. It's called Don't Listen to Us. Many of you've asked for our advice. Tell me, what is wrong with you people?

Don't listen to us. Our Take It or Leave It Advice show is out every Wednesday, premiering October 15th, a Lemonada Media Original. Freedom! Freedom Freedom The brave The brave The brave Welcome to Threatem

This is Lauren over here This up I'm Paul Hi I'm Scott We got everyone right Yeah Lauren's wearing, like, a very, like, 90s, uh, beanie from... Doodoo-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-T-T-T-T-T-T-D-D-T-D-T-D.

We all started dancing. Why is it a 90s beanie? Because it has flowers on it? I think it's cute. Thanks. You're welcome. Look, 90s are back, babe. Um, whatever I do.

Why am I being castigated for saying you're wearing a beanie? You're fine. No one's chopping your dick off. I, uh, I am wearing a beanie. And it's because, because I didn't want to wash my hair today. Really? I wear beaniees in the house now.

You know, sometimes I do when it's a little chilly. Ebeneer's a Scrooge style. Yeah, Ebeneer Scrooge. Hey, it's me. Ebenezer Scrooge. Hey, wow, it's me. Ebenezer Scrooge. So, uh, I'm a pretty mean guy.

Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses? We're going to create. What are the lines of Christmas Carol? There's, are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses? You're a crumb of cheese. A lot of mustard.

A lot of mustard. A bit of pork. There's more of gravy than gravy about you. More of gravy than of grave about you. Okay. Then we got the one as big as meat. Undigested beef. You there, boy, what day is it?

I was in that show and so I would have to hear that. Of course. Absolutely. Yeah. All day. Christmas Carol. Oh, in that show. Can I say that I watched a Muppet Christmas Carol for the first time over the holidays?

I know you did. You did a watchwalk. Do you feel like you've been missing out? We did, Janie and I did a watch-along. Uh, yeah, I kind of, because it's beloved, I knew it was like after my time, you know what I mean? Like for people younger, it of course would have so much more sentimental, um, although it has sentimental attachments to me because when I was in the show, it came out. And yes, I watched it in Sacramento while I was doing the show. Are they doing better than us? Did you watch it at the century 21 on

the century 21? Yeah, and I bought a house. But people, the next day, I remember people saying, for years how you know deadly serious Michael Kane's performance is in that movie they still are the memes are still abound

yeah you know what he's fine I mean he's not he's not he's not he's not winking he's not winking he's not camping it up but it's not like

oh my god this is intense but I think he is quoted as saying that he and I don't know if it's a real quote that he would like if I'm going to do a Muppet movie

I'm going to do a deadly serious if I'm going to do yeah if I're going to do a Muppet It's a movie. Yeah. He was good, but he was good. He was fine.

I thought he was very touching. I remember sitting there and going like, is someone chopping onions? Or am I crying? Has it gotten dust in here? Is someone chopping onions? Did my wife just open her legs? Is someone chopping broccoli?

Chopin broccoli? Could it be Satan? A chopping broccoli. Chicken make lousy house. Oh, dear. Can you imagine pitching that nowadays. Can you imagine such a thing?

Can you imagine such a thing? Would you like to touch my monkey? Would you like to touch my monkey? Would you like to touch my monkey? Would you like to touch it? Do you think Mike Myers is pissed at that, would you want to build a snowman song? Because it's like, that's clearly.

That's clearly would you like to touch my monkey? Yes. Really? There's no way around it. Yeah. It's the same cadence. They just set it to music. Yeah.

It's a total fucking rip off. These words. These words. These words. And then suddenly everyone's making money, hand over fist. And he's sitting there in the poor house. From that song. That song saved Frozen because people were not interested, but that single.

Suddenly it's like, do you want to build a snowman? And people are like, okay, I'm turning around on there. Frozen has some bangers. I recently watched that film for the second time. I saw it when it came out initially on, um, Dividy or whatever rental but um I did watch it with Holly and it is a lot of great songs that you don't really think about how does she feel about the wickedly talented adela zine she loves her yeah loves her love her the wickedly talented oh i'm in trouble please come to me please come to me

please come to me please come to me le talented adela zee just one of the best moments in tv history now she's saying for christin bell in the movie uh does christian who plays Elsa Does she play all things? Anna is Kristen Bell. Yeah, she sings beautifully. Yeah. I didn't know that she's saying. Just she sing Kristen Bell.

She sings. She sings. She sings. Kristen Bell. She's very good. Yeah, she sings. I did not realize that. Yeah, she sang.

I did not know that. She sang a Nora show to the Central Park. Okay. Before she was kicked off. Yeah, what happened? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. No, but I thought the show got canceled.

But is it on? I think it. I think it got canceled. I don't know. I thought I never heard about it again. Oh, I think it's still on, isn't it? I think it's still on, but it got canceled. I don't know.

What do we care? They just keep making episodes. They're like, okay, we'll just do it on. If you were on network and someone was just like, hey, I made a bunch of episodes. Yeah. And you can have them for free. Yeah. You know what?

Three seasons. But I mean, I guess they're worried that they couldn't get advertising for them. Is that the thing? But if you, if you're just offering them a TV show. Yeah. I'd put them on. They've already done 39 episodes as of. I try that with Netflix.

Thanksgiving time Yeah But yeah Who does Adele de Seem sing for? Or is she just she used the character I guess she also plays the role of Elsa And plays the role And plays the role okay that's what he is

Because she's a real broadway baby I feel like we're kind of not really doing that anymore Where someone sings and someone does the The old Natalie Wood Yeah Well even the old Lion King Actually apparently I learned that JTT was the voice And then they had another kid

Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to be a mighty king, like no king was before. You should sing in a cartoon. I should be. I remember zero about that movie, except Hakuna Matata. That's all I remember. Well, then I saw the show.

Of course, that from Cyril. So you remember the sex scene. Can you feel the love tonight? The sex scene? When they feel the love. Nala and Simba. Get it? Are they getting on?

Feel the love. Well, what do you think? It's happening. The sun's going down. They're rolling around in the fucking tumbleweeds of Africa. It's all. His barbed penis is coming out. Yeah.

Scraping everything on its way out. Do lions have barbed? I don't know if they should. I'm going to find. I'm actually kind of scared to see what a lion's penis looks like, but not scared enough. All right. Let's look it up.

It's so weird that that's how evolution works that it's like, okay, for an order for us to propagate our species, we have to have sex. Okay. They look so. Is that real? That's what's on my. Paul is holding his hand I'm not gonna lie

I just did not never seen it that's what it's never seen it never wanted that first one looks like that first one just like a person

right like the man this one this one's where I'm like that's got to be more of what we're talking about that's what we're talking about a line penis has spines on it

spines yeah the first picture that comes up is basically just a dude's penis put on to a lot photoshoped on two why can't it just be nice why does you have to have bars and spying I know just have a regular

I'm going to keep out with it. So everyone can't... That's the problem with pandas, too, is that... Why? What are their penises do? They're... What are their penises do? Their penises are monsters and...

Like, they're really wide, like a cocaine. I think it's uncomfortable for both of them, for both sexes. They're like, apologies, that this has got to go down. Yeah. Here it goes. And that's why there's so few of them, in addition to, of course, hunting. Here's what we're going to get to, weirdest animal penis. Just that's a good old.

Okay. Yeah. What do we got? Labeled one of the weirdest penises of the animal kingdom. by Celestinian magazine. By the penis awards? I don't know how to say this animal. The penis awards have like a Razzies too.

I don't know how to say this. E-C-H-I-D-N-A. E-Kidna. E-Kidna. I've never heard of that. I know how to say it from the They Might Be Giants song. Oh, how does it go?

Oh, what's the fucking name of the song? They list all these genuses and species. Is it one of their like that song? It's off of Apollo 18. No, it's not one of their head songs. So the people say, we're not really sure why it looks so weird, but we do. know that they only use their penis for mating not urine okay urine not in the pool of

their own yorn oh and there's like 50 heads on it and looks fucking disgusting what is it akedna it looks like a big it looks like a big deli meat that just got it's honestly sick it's honestly it's honestly sick i'm not lying but if i was horny enough okay so the list basically says whale duck alligator these are all getting really weird we got the echidna we have a slum A whale. Mammle is the name of the song. Mammle. Mammal. A whale can only fuck another whale, right? Like, if it tried to fuck a dolphin, it would be.

Morally, yes. But it would be bad for the dolphin. Why would mating be painful for any animal cats? It says mating is painful. Why would God do that to us? It's just more proof there is not a god. Because wouldn't you want the cats to have pleasure? But there are so many cats.

They don't, it doesn't stop them. They have the horny impulse. They have the horny impulse. But see, the male cat doesn't care about the female cat. Oh, cats. It's like, so they're like, okay, the female cats, they don't like this. I got to grow some bars to just trap her there. Yeah.

Like she wants it, but then when it starts, she doesn't want it because it sucks. It sucks. So I got a fucking. I got a trapper. I got a trapper and keep her. And I guess it works. And that's how we have the trapper keeper. After that, that's so.

The way those like silver pieces move is basically the same as and thus similar to the way that in such that the cat penis does move infrequently inside. And such like. Their names are called. They raise a paw. The bat, the cat, dolphin and dog, koala bear and hog, the fox, the ox, giraffe and true. E-kidna cat. I did it. Hey, should we get on here?

I'd love you. Holy shit. Hey, they might be giants. It's like, that's too weird. Write a song about something just normal. Why don't they write a song about a boy meeting a girl and falling in love? Well, they have that song that goes, Tesla. Was that about Elon Musk?

It's about Tesla. Elon Musk Scott Elon Musk You better stop it Elon Musk You better stop it Elon Musk

You better stop it Elon Musk You better stop it You better stop it Right now Do you know people with Tesla And do they feel like They wish they didn't have one

I know a lot of people with Tesla's But they won't I'm not gonna ask them that question I know somebody who has one And became kind of bummed Yeah Like love the car But then

it did feel like it was kind of tainted Everyone was trying to get me to Orr one Nick Nolty Alyssa Milana Returned I'm trying to get me to order.

Yeah, we have 48 hours to do this. Everyone's trying to get me to order when I was like, no, I don't like the guy. And they're like, you'll love it. You'll love it. And you know what? My car's fine. And yeah, it's just if I don't want to think about a specific negative thing

every time I get in my car. Yeah. That's where I stand. I don't want to own a car that was created by a dork. Yep, that's. But dorks probably did create a lot of the cars. Well, there's no. They're nerds.

Okay. They're nerds. There is a difference. Nerd. Ferrari, nerd. Anti-Semitic nerd. But Tesla made by dorks, four dorks. Well, a dork.

Made by one dork. I'm not going to throw them all. We shouldn't throw them on to the bus. Although I bet they're dorks, though. Of course they are. If you work for Tesla, let us know. Are you a dork? A Tesla drove.

If you work for the Tesla automobile company, you buy me. a dork. A Tesla drove straight into a pool in Pasadena Really? Last week or something? Did they mean to? It seems that they actually trust the gas. What are the Tesla's pronouns? Is they them? And went through a fence of some sort and straight

into a pool and there were children in the car. No. At least they weren't children in the pool. Well, haven't you noticed that? Yeah, it was a adult swim. That is true. That would actually probably be worse. I have noticed that. It was nice of you to acknowledge that. They do say it is a Tesla when there's a news story about a car.

I'm like finding that, you know, they're kind of pointing that out. It's like even if it's kind of irrelevant. That's true. Yeah. It feels like the news is a little bit like biased against Tesla. Jury style on these Tesla. Because the person was driving it and they, yeah. I do hope they get self-driving cars under control.

That's scary. You want it? I want it. I think it would be great. I was, I think, have I talked about this? I was talking to my mom about it because I think any sort of new technology, an older person is like fearful of and she was like no i would love it well she doesn't want to drive she doesn't want to drive and she's like if i could get into a car and just punch in where it should go and then know

that it's safely going to take me there it would be so much but it feels like every car has to be doing that then that's how i feel about it either everybody has it or nobody has yeah i don't think there should just be a car with nobody in the driver's seat driving behind me and cutting me out there there shouldn't be five cars out there that can think they can do this yeah i love driving though I don't mind driving. I do enjoy driving. I like it. Yeah.

I like it. I love it. I think I would feel sick sitting in the passenger seat while the car just took me around. There's something. They make you move over. Have you ever almost hit a friend of yours? What? It makes me think you have.

So specific. Have I ever almost hit a friend of mine? Like in a car? If you had a car accident where you almost hit a friend of yours? No, have you. I don't think I have. I was making a right on a lot. and the pedestrian like you know started crossing the street and I didn't notice and I stopped

right away and the pedestrian looked at me kind of angrily and it was Carl Tarts and I was like I was like hey and he looked at me and he shook his finger like Dekembe went out and then later I was like I wonder if he recognized it was me yeah he did and we laughed about it but do you think you would have done that finger wag if he didn't recognize it was for you specifically like he's I guess. I was happy that he had like a sense of humor about it. Yeah. Well, yeah. I imagine if he got mad at him.

I was once at a four-way stop in my neighborhood. And I thought I had gotten there before this other car. Right. That was coming the opposite direction. And I was about to turn. And then this person was like furious. Like I just went an in.

into the intersection to turn and I saw this big flurry of motion behind the windshield and then I looked and it was somebody that I knew and who knew me and then like changed like their demeanor completely changed like oh accidents happen but I will never forget that the true your yes so we should always treat everyone who are strangers like they're a friend or an acquaintance i think i think i'm no can you imagine if you treat your acquaintances and friends like stranger exactly if you almost got hit and you're going with that method of thinking and you're like hey can you not you're my friend like it's like that would be a really weird your brain doesn't do that on that you're not defending yourself by going like hey stranger but here's the thing

you didn't mean to do that we weren't in danger there was no danger in the situation danger we were so far away from each other it was just it was that person's turn right and i thought it was my turn And this, the, so the, the, the rage was so disproportionate. Oh, well, that's different. That's different. Where I was like, wow. You have anger issues. Oh, yeah.

I do think in the car. Nothing even happened. I used to, I, we've talked about road rage and I used to think, I think I think I used to have like more, I'd be quicker to just be like, fuck you. I don't do that anymore. No. You got to take a breath. Even like, and even like a year ago or like two years ago or something, there was, I was

driving back from your place, we were recording and I, um, we're not having an farewell. I would never come here unless it was for work. But this guy got very aggressive with me and like was like I didn't give him the finger or anything but he was he like almost like I think I maybe pulled in front of him but didn't realize I wasn't doing anything on purpose. But he got very upset. And then he was like fucking with me like driving like clothes coming on. And this also this happened to me on the freeway not that long ago where this truck like I was trying to get over. I wasn't even trying to do anything. I just was trying to switch lanes and slowly waiting for my turn. And then this guy just was like not leaving space and being mean and then like actually scaring me

like you're short stopping in front of me to make me you read the stories about the people who shortstop in front of you and then it causes like these pileups and stuff like that it's like it's murder yeah yeah yeah it's really scary the i just couldn't wait to get off the freeway the idea of being so mad that somebody did a minor thing that's the thing that you are going to like you have to like get up next to them so they can see see your face you have to like teach them molester or whatever it's like when you think about road rage is i know we're just trying to get through road rage is all just it's all about politeness which is like to be that angry about people being impolite yeah because you're not that

angry if someone like you meet kind of doesn't shake your hand or well i think my road rage being more about somebody like doing something dangerous like they cut me off i'm like fuck you it's not like yeah but a lot of times it's just like it was my turn yeah i don't think i ever had rage like that where I'm like hello I get to go but I've had people that have been and I've never gotten this way people that mad at me just for like an accident where it's like oh I thought I could go and I can't go right or I didn't see you there when I was trying to change lanes and the people are like furious I know I know no you always got to like remember if something like that happens like calm down the last accident I was in in the parking lot at the uh the grocery store

down the street um wait well hold on a second this was in fried green tomato Yeah Scott, this is a nap to you Yeah Which I just watched Oh no I didn't And let me guess

You told her You were older And had more insurance I thought fried green tomatoes Was steel magnolias Just now And I sort of think that it is Everybody does

Do they really? It's the exact same thing Is it? I've never seen either one Just I just got candy And fried green tomatoes I don't know

I saw steel magnolias For the first time Oh But I still never seen it I liked it I was making a left into a parking space and then right as I pulled in the person on the, um, the right, the spot in the right hand swung her door open and I hit her, her, the edge of her door like

straight on with my car. Anyway, that's a very easy thing to happen because I feel like people aren't always looking myself. She was not looking. She was on her phone. She just opened her, opened her car door without looking. Um, seemed to think it was her or was my fault and was treating it like it was my fault and that feels like it's both people no it's like her fault and the investigation it's also just bad timing yeah a central obsession but it's her but but any door thing throwing your door open because you're in control of what it's happening outside you have to look because like if you're driving down the street and someone in a park car throws their door open and you run into it it's their fault yeah that makes

sense so it was her fault but she was treating it like it was my fault and it was very weird I just felt weird about it like in my head just going like you know this is your fault you you're gaslighting me but people are kind of trained to immediately not take blame because of the law it's very true that's why i started wondering is like are you is this just you jocking for your insurance because you know your insurance always says never take responsibility never fall in love but she was but like never fall in responsibility is like actually kind of fucked up what's like if you clearly did something it's okay to be like i did that well the first big car accident I got into where I totaled my wife's car when I was learning to drive.

I had my license for like four weeks or something and I blew through a stop sign that I just did not see across this wide intersection and this car teaboned me and then we were we're getting out of our cars and then she the other driver was like did anybody see what happened and I said that was my fault you don't have you don't need witnesses but see the same thing happened to me where I was in high school and I went through a stop sign and there was a big bush blocking the other stop sign with the car coming from him and I hit the back of this cart and I had just recently got like learned to drive everything and their their car spun around and it was so crazy I hit the back I hit the back door like yeah and it was like a movie stunt yeah and it was an old couple and they were like a

block from home up oh my god and they got out they were totally fine but the The wife had spilled fruit salad all over the husband. It was the 4th of July. It was the third of July. What an old people thing to happen. I know. And then, but they were so nice to me. They gave me a hug and it was so nice.

I was so upset. But wait, what happened was my teacher was at a barbecue right in front of the, in the house that I crashed in front of. And he saw me. And so he came out and was talking to me. And then his dad, who's a lawyer came out.

And he was like, don't say anything. And it was like this whole. And that's where it kind of got in my head. That's like an important thing with that. I think it's different. It's different. to be like, well, we don't know what happened.

We'll let the investigators work it out. Yeah. As opposed to being like, well, when you did that, you are at fault. That's what she was trying to do. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And she was English and it just bugged me. Yeah.

She was like, oh, so you, so when you did that, you did this, you know, and like, where is your insurance? Are you mental? Yeah. Are you trying to have a laugh? Yeah. Is it, are you proper mental, mate? But the worst part of it was then we both were going in. And so then we had to shop and I kept, and you just walked.

kept running into her in the aisles. You had to have fallen in love. Why didn't you? I love her. I love her, man. I love her, man. All right, we have to take Rick. Ha!

Listen, telephones, right? If you shorten it, it's just phones. We need them, right? We need to get in touch with the people we love to Google what to do about the weird rash that's on our arms, right? Is that relatable to anyone else? To watch endless streams of TikToks as we try to fall asleep. But do we need expensive phone bills? No, no, no, no.

At Mint Mobile, their favorite word is no. No contracts. No monthly bills. No overages. No hidden fees. No BS. BS stands for something. Don't look it up, kids.

And the best part, oh, BS. BS is it best. The best part, Mint Mobile plans start. at $15 a month at Mint. All their plans come with high-speed data and unlimited talk-and-text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. And you can keep

your phone that you love so much. You can keep your phone number that you know it by heart and keep all of your existing contacts. That'd be weird if you had to throw away all of your contacts. Anyway, Mitt Mobile, our good friend Matt Apodaca has it.

He swears by it. He loves it. It's easy to switch over from your old phone plans and you save tons each month. Ready to say yes to saying no, make the switch at mintmobile.com slash freedom. That's mintmobile.com slash freedom. Up front payment of $45 required equivalent to $15 a month. Limited time, new customer offer for first three months only. Speeds may slow above 35 gigabytes on unlimited plan.

Taxes and fees extra see MintMobile for details. Oh, boy. days, cold mornings, holiday plans, so much going on, right? Well, this is when I want my wardrobe to be simple. Stuff that looks sharp, feels good, and things that I will actually wear, not just put in my closet and be aspirational about, oh, that would be nice if I ever actually wore it. No. For me, that stuff comes from quince. And the bonus, quince pieces make great gifts, too. This season's lineup is simple, but smart and easy with quince. $50, $50, Mongolian. in cashmere sweaters.

They feel like an everyday luxury and wool coats that are equal parts, stylish, and durable. They're dunna, they're done a, they're done a. Am I right, folks? They're done a. What I also want to say other than their dunna is their denim nails the fit and everyday comfort all at a fraction of what you would expect to pay. By partnering directly with ethical factories and top artisans, Quince cuts out the middlemen, I hate middlemen, God cut them out, to deliver premium quality at half the cost of other high-end brands.

So you can give luxury quality pieces without the luxury price tag. You know what I got from Quince? You know, I love a blazer. Quince's cotton peak knit blazer is what I got. It combines the coziness of a cardigan with the structure of a blazer. It's the kind of best of both worlds thing that I love. It can look great at any holiday function, especially in this great olive shade that they offer, which feels seasonal and sophisticated.

Give and get timeless holiday staples that last this season with Quince. Go to quince.com slash Freedom for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada, too. That is Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash freedom. Free shipping and 365-day returns, Quince.com slash freedom. Well, hi everybody. It's Julia Louis Dreyfus from the Wiser than Me podcast. And I'm not going to talk about food waste this time. I'm going to talk about food resources. All that uneaten food rotting in the landfill, it could be enriching our soil or feeding our chickens because it's still food. And the easiest and frankly way coolest way to put all its nutrients to work is with the mill food recycler. It looks like an art house garbage can. You can just toss your scraps in it like a garbage can, but it is definitely not a garbage can. I mean, it's

true. I'm pretty obsessed with this thing. I even invested in this thing. But I'm not alone. Any mill owner just might corner you at a party and rhapsodize about how it's completely odorless and it's fully automated and how you can keep filling it for weeks. But the clincher is that you can depend on it for years. Mill is a serious machine. Think about a dishwasher, not a toaster. It's built by hand in North America, and it's engineered by the guy who did your iPhone. But you have to kind of live with Mill to understand all the love. That's why they offer a risk-free trial. Go to mill.com slash wiser for an exclusive offer. I'm ready.

We're back. We're back. Hi. Hey. Hay is for horses. Straw is cheaper. Grass is free. Buy a farm.

You get all three. Wow. Are you supposed to say that when somebody says, hey? That's too much. I read it in a Spider-Man. and it is stuck in my head. Oh, is that guy getting paid by the word? Hayes for us is what?

Grass is free. Straw is cheaper. Grass is free. Buy a farm and you get all three. It doesn't scan. Hay is for horses. No, no, you don't start with that. You just don't say.

You just start with straw is cheaper. Someone goes, hey, straw is cheaper. Grass is free. Buy a farm and you get all three. Can you imagine being the person who would say that? Could you imagine not being cut off immediately? Can you imagine what are you doing? Yeah.

Can you imagine you're out there trying to. Shut up. Shut up. What are you trying to rob a bank. And you just want some peace and quiet. Yeah. I'm trying to get your attention. And then this webhead comes down.

It was Spider-Man who said it? Yes. It's his typical, like, making light of the situation. Look, this is bad enough already. I'm trying to rob a bank and I'm being interrupted. People have wet their pants out of fear in this bank. And now this guy in his fucking pajamas is making jokes. It's a great question.

It just doesn't make any sense. It's a great question. It's a great question. it's a great question it's a great question somebody had to ask it um they did all right now i'm on my phone you guys ever like you ever hide in your comic book room and shiver and fear talking to you talking to you paul i thought that was a question yeah that's a question for the room it's obviously a question for scott as i stare into his comic book room i know it's a beautiful color book room which is bigger than my entire house

A neighbor of mine when I was a kid had a bookshelf like that with like comics and binders and stuff. Binders. And I was fascinated by it. He was a collector and he really took care of his shit. Wow. Wow. Yeah. And where is he now?

Dead? In the ground. You know, I have a lot of. He's Barry with the comics. I'm realizing I have a lot of friends who collect comic books. Isn't that interesting? I have a lot of friends who collect comic books. Um, you, what do you collect other than stupid clock?

Condoms? clock condoms I collect I collect my sunny angel dolls I collect my sunny angel dolls I collect gnomes for my yard I collect you know I actually do have a lot of collections

come to think of it Let me ask you this If a gnome was real Yeah Like this like from the gnome book Like the classic drawing of a gnome If that wandered It's kind

Yeah yeah But if that wandered into your garden Like you're washing the dishes Or whatever if you look out the window. I would scream. Yeah, right? And I would, would it speak English or a language I could translate?

I guess it would. I don't know. I don't know what they speak. I would like, if it did speak English and I could talk to it, I would try to strike up a friendship and I would allow it to live on my property. But I would want. Oh my God, guys. I'm getting a call.

Is it a guest, ma'am? I don't know who it is. Hello? Hello. thank you that was actually a person getting the wrong number probably i go by sonia sometimes i think that oh are they trying to call you yeah oh your only fans yeah do you only talk to your fans what's that do you only talk to your fans oh wow i love my fans oh wow i love my fans you love your paul i've always said it all loves his fans a new chat oh no i keep my clothes on okay i just call

myself son you why don't we just sign up and see what he's doing on there let's just sign up we can share an account if you want to go have to be better because I don't really want to pay I just want to know if he's actually

I'm making my only social media presence only fans and that's where you can find all my updates you know I do think there's people when they when you are like someone you follow and they make an only fans and you go I want to just see it I don't want to pay I just want to know what you're

fucking doing in there. We're friends. Just show me. Just show me your boobs. Just text me. Tell me what you're doing. Show me your tits. Just show me your tits, please.

Even like, what a Denise Richards has her only fans? I'm like, what's happening on there? I'm not going to pay to see, but I'm like, what's happening. Didn't she started because this is what I heard. Because of her daughter. Because of her daughter started and Charlie Sheen got really upset. And then Denise Richards is like, don't shame her. But I'd pose for Playboy.

And then she started one, I think, because everyone was making so much money. Would we make money? Should we do a three-atim only fans? Are they together or no? Charlie Sheen? No, she's married to another man who was with her when she's on Real Housewives. Oh, right. Yeah, by the way, new season of many great things happening soon,

but including Real Housewives of New York, which I can't wait for. And then, of course. And I did have a dinner with a producer of Real Housewives franchise, and I was. Did you pitch yourself? No, but have I mentioned? Oh, yeah, two of people I know were asked to be on it. And I think that's fascinating. Yeah, you should do it.

wish they I would never be asked yeah it's like I wouldn't they would hate you I wouldn't fit in the talent would hate you the audience would hate you I wouldn't crew it would be no you know what the audience would love me because I would the crew hater the crew would love me for sure yeah the audience would love me because I would be saying things to these women that they need to hear reality recap yeah um Catherine Dennis fired from the only uh reality show we watch oh Southern Charm yeah and then Southern Carm it's it's it's it's it's it's it's It's the bear, but they're in the South. It's a David Cross spin-off.

All the famous carms are in it. Southern CarMax. Carmelo. Carmelis. And like a couple days after the announcement that she was fired, she started an Onlyfans. That's all it took. Should we start one?

For three of them? People must be making bank on the OnlyFans. If we start one for Three to, it's just like extreme close-ups of skin. You don't know what part it is or who it's from. Although we could take pictures of our feet. I wouldn't mind that. If it's only feats,

then I think. We could take pictures of our feet and be like, have out it, guys. If we did an only fan's for feet and all three of us did it. The problem is. There would be no solo Lauren Hicks. No, but as we all know, everyone would be coming for my feet.

Of course. I would want to take a bigger percentage. No, we would make sure our feet were always in the frame with you. Yes, so you never know whose feet they're enjoying. We disable comments. So we each know, it's like when a firing squad, somebody has a blank. Yeah, so everyone has a blank and only one person has a bullet.

No. Wait, what is this? How does that work? Is it not that, is it not? Only one person has a blank. So they, so everyone has plausible. That was, I had the blank. I see.

I thought it was everyone had a blank. No, they want to kill this guy. Wait, wait, so everyone's, so 20 people are shooting at one person. 20? That's probably two. I think, no, it's firing squads. What's a good, what's a good size? I think 10.

10! I think 10. To shoot one person. Yeah, because one guy is a blank. You want, it takes nine bullets to shoot, to kill someone. What if you miss? Three people miss. One guy does, shoots him in the toe.

accidentally if you miss you should not have been in that firing squad five or more but 10 sounds good to me 20 is also possible or more 20 is more than five but how about a thousand okay what guy has a blank could there be a firing squad so big it couldn't shoot god this is so scary what happens during firing squad execution the inmate what happened what happened to a chair and a hood will be placed over his head a small aim point will be placed over his heart by a a member of the execution team. I've never seen the title. After the warden reads the execution.

I've seen blindfolded. I've seen like, hey, here's a cigarette. After the shots, a doctor will examine the inmate. I don't think that's necessary. Like,

pulled down his pants and he's dead. Why do you have to assume his ass has to be in the air? Maybe he's just tapping his knee. Come on, Scott. Yeah. His reflexes. He's gone.

I hold a mirror up to him. Also, he doesn't have a face anymore. That was another clue I had. No, but they, they, has a blank so that they all sort of like have plausible deniability where they're like

maybe i maybe i didn't kill this guy i love if you're a member of firing squad yeah you're guilty i love shit like that where it's like you're so close to not doing this at all yeah you're understanding that this is bad why don't they get like they should do it in the army too where like one soldier is picked and has blanks he dies every time but he's out there He dies knowing, it was me. That's like when they pardoned the turkey. It's like, whole, whole, whole. It's so funny.

It's like, that's not, no, stop executing human beings. By the way, pardoning a turkey is extremely kind and blessed. Let's put the turkey into other holidays. Christmas, Santa's a turkey. I do think Valentine's Day doesn't have enough turkeys and I think birthdays. Well, I agree with that. But hold on a second. I want to make sense of what Scott's saying.

Santa's a turkey. Easter burning is a turkey. Easter morning is a turkey. Two fairies a turkey. Great Pumpkin is a turkey? Great pumpkin is a turkey. No more witches and goblins. It's turkeys.

No more witches. No more goblins. We want turkey. You are robin us of that. Robble, robble. Hamburgler, he's a turkey. He's a turkey suddenly. Where's your, where's your, uh...

Bridgerton? Where's your Grimmis sweatshirt go? Where's your grimace sweatshirt go? It's on the chair. Are you scared to be grimace? Why? I'm scared people are going to call me grimace. Does it need to be cooler in here?

Or what? Well, we've had the windows open. I like, you know, I just, I just, took my hoodie off, I'm fine. All right. We don't need to analyze his body temperature. Let me get a feel. Analyze his body temperature.

That's the third movie. Analyze this. Yeah. Analyze this, analyze this, analyze that. Analyze his body temperature. Analyze this. Analyze his body temperature. Analyze with a whistleblower.

Straws cheapa. Straws cheapa. Grass free. I just saw a clip on Instagram from the movie Fear. Do you recall that movie? With Marky Mark. And Reese with us. That's a filthy scene on the roller coaster.

But there's a scene that they do on the roller coaster. Oh, I don't even want to do. Oh, Lauren. What? She's a ghost. She rockets into the air. There's a scene where he's coming. The roller coaster catches her on the way down.

He's coming into their house to try to kill her basically and her family. This happened to me. Okay. I don't think I've ever talked about this, have I? You've shared a lot of stories that don't sound as interesting. You've told this story a thousand times where the guy trying to kill you in your house? Yeah. No. Okay, so I went, I, I had, I had, my, my parents gave me tickets to the Phantom of the Opera when I was 19 years old for Christmas, right?

It's a beautiful, it's a beautiful, it's a beautiful, it's a beautiful, it's a beautiful, it's a beautiful show. Oh, you're one of those people to interview after the show for the commercial. Yeah, it's a, it's a, it's a beautiful show. People would quote me forever if I said it like that. It's a beautiful show. I've told you about the. lady outside of the king and I they had a commercial for when it was running in Philadelphia with Yule Brinner who did it forever. That is one of one of my favorite musicals. He was like 60 years old doing still doing the king and I. The I have parties guy by the way. It was in the king

and I with him. Well of course. What? And so they're as one of those commercials as a boy. The commercial ends you know the man on the street interviews it ends with a quick like a super cut of old lady saying fantastic in Philadelphia accents

And then a lady at the end saying, wonderful. Okay. And so it sounds like it was burning my brain forever. Fantastic. Fantastic. Wonderful. Oh, my God. I love that.

I love it. That's really amazing. Thank you. Thank you. And so someone tried to kill you? Oh, so I had Phantom of the opera tickets, and this was, I think I'd had a girlfriend the year before. I'm sure you did.

Tell us that the fucking Phantom tried to kill you. No, but you know what? He tried to drop a chandelier on my head. Scott has to mention having a girlfriend so much that he said, I had a girlfriend the year before. He has nothing to go with the same. No, this is what, this, it ties into the story. I had a girlfriend the year after,

but this was a year where I was not in a, in a monogamous relationship. But I was single. So I, and it was at a time where I was not seeing anyone. I didn't, I wasn't even dating anyone. Wow. So seeing, you weren't dating, and you were single. Just single with no, like.

No strings. You were an in-cell. I was an in-celled, yes. You were involuntarily celibate. There's no way around it. And you were mad. Yeah. But so I just didn't.

In-cells love musicals. Didn't really have anyone to go with. So there was someone who was in, uh, it was a college drama that I barely knew. And I was like, hey, would you want to go? And she said, yeah. And it was a date. And she said, yeah, but it was still a few months off. And so she's like, tough ask.

yeah kind of getting there a little early but I think but I think both of us were like hadn't really ever thought about but we were like yeah we could be attracted to each other or whatever sure if I try yeah but but she was like well well if I try let's go out I talk myself into that there's more free musical tickets where this is coming maybe it was three weeks off because I think it would be weird for it to be two months months is like hey in two months do you want to go on a date with me but it was still it was enough time where where she was like well well why don't we like get to know each other first like come over and let's have a date.

Before we sit in silence next to each other for four hours. Yeah. So I went over to her house and this, she lived with her parents. And I remember, I remember her mother asking me, she was a milf. No, her mother asking me what my favorite movie was

and me saying, earnestly, I said back to the future. And she was like, no, but what's your favorite, like real movie? Like serious movie. and I was like the godfather and she went oh okay like impressed and like as a deep cut like I was like that came out four years ago but I remember we rented Dominic and Eugene what's that a Tom Hulse movie well who's that he was in Amadeus what's that I'm just

kidding that one I don't know what else I can tell you I have heard of Amadeus okay Tom Holes Tom Holst, yes. Who's also in Parenthood? Parenthood, yes, he's in Parenthood. Oh, I like that film. His son is blue. But I, so I remember we rented that movie.

Thomas Holst is a German serial killer who became known as Haida murder. No. Spelled it wrong, obviously. Yes, obviously, dear. I have cuts on my thumb. I don't know how I got these. Gross.

So you go with a stranger. Probably giving a hand drop to a spiky dick. She says, Spikey lies Let's get to know each other I want my mother to condescend to you Yes Come on over

But so they go They go upstairs And we're in the I remember it was like a den That had It wasn't even It was like sort of like French doors That didn't seem like real doors

Necessarily But we We remember we didn't even start the movie We just kind of started making out Right And Hell yeah Yeah

And so then suddenly there's like this and this is what I think of when I think of the movie Fear because there's just like this bah, ba, ba, ba, ba, bah, bah on the door. Loud, la, ba, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa. This is what inspired that happened to me. Yeah, I actually have a story about that specific moment.

Yeah, because it's in the trailer, but I've never seen it. So there's a scene where he goes. He's yelling with rage to the people. The guy, yeah, and so the dad is going to quickly lock the door because the killer is typing in the code, it's opening. Right. He slams and goes, he says something calmly.

He's like, I'm going to come in there. I'm going to kill all you, something, something, something, whatever he says. I'm going to come in here. And then he, he ad-lib, improvised. So let me in the fucking house. And it's really scary. But then the Instagram post said that the director, the editor cut that and put it into the gag reel because it wasn't in the script. And the director was so upset when he saw that it wasn't the film, he had it put in the film.

I'm like, that is a key. that is an amazing ad lib that's very scary it changes the whole scene and it's so good and it's like that sort of 90s like obsession with the fish eye yeah yeah it was the fish eye yeah I've never seen the movie but I just remember that anytime I the fish eye and the screaming yeah anytime I think of that I think about when this happened yeah it was basically like her ex-boyfriend oh basically like who was an army guy

uh-huh um basically was a green plastic guys yeah he was tiny It was a small soldier. He was an Army man. No, but he figured. He had a bag of his buddies came over. I think he was watching the house or something and saw that I was there and started to try to break the door down to like fuck me up or something. Oh, no. For our country.

For our country. And they called the police and the police came and I had to give a statement to the police and all that. And I was just like really freaked out by it. Wow. And then Phantom must have been like the next week or something like that because we still went together. but that was the last time we ever had a date. I don't think we ever, like maybe we like kissed goodbye

at the end of Phantom and we never spoke again or something. She clearly got back together with him. Well, he sounds great. Yeah, he was amazing. But yeah, that's the only time that's ever... It's the only time that's ever happened where...

What's your story? Oh, you told your story. It was the behind the scenes? Yeah, I just thought it was interesting that he improvised that line, you know? And they were going to put it in the gag reel. I'm like, it's not really funny. It's actually really scary.

I think I were laughed at it, though. If it was in the gag reel. If it was in the gag reel. After you made the condition. Yeah, exactly. We know what is in the movie and what is not, and this certainly is not. Somebody opens a door at the wrong time. They're like, oh, I wasn't supposed to do that yet.

Then I'm ha ha ha ha ha. So let me in the fucking house. You're right. You're right. It really would have worked. All right. We have to take break. Okay.

A better help ad. Life can get a little tough and even hectic during the holidays. This November, BetterHelp is encouraging everyone to reach out to check in on your your people, grab lunch with a friend you haven't seen in a while, or make that call to grandma. Reaching out to anyone can feel difficult, especially when we get used to relying on ourselves. And the same goes with reaching out to a therapist, but BetterHelp makes it easy with its therapist match commitment and over 12 years of experience in online therapy. In fact, BetterHelp meets over 90% of client preferences when matching its members with licensed professionals. And like that

lunch with an old friend, when you finally do reach out and connect with someone, you often ask yourself, why didn't I do this sooner? Start now at betterhelp.com for 10% off your first month. Hello, I'm James Corden, and on my new show, This Life of Mine, I sit down each week with some of the most fascinating people on planet Earth. From Dr. Dre to Julianne Moore, to David Beckham, to Cynthia Arrivo, to Martin Scorsese, to Jeremy Renner, to Denzel Washington, to Kim Kardashian. We talk about the people, places, possessions, music, and memories that made them who they are. These are intimate conversations full of stories that you've never heard before. This life of mine premieres October 21st, wherever you get your podcasts.

And we're back, and Lauren has a three-cher for us, like a good girl. Hey, I've done me and homework and opened the document. This feature was submitted by Nathan Diffy, and this is a really fun. Nathan Diffy. I know Nathan Diffy. You do? Yes, he does all my artwork for me. Oh, that's why the name was so familiar.

I know from you, me, and Diffy. He's done artwork that I believe I've been in possibly. Is that possible? You post for him. The name is extremely familiar. Kate Winslet in Titanic style. Here is a, yes, of course. He said, here is a little three church for your consideration.

You fucked them, but it'll call. It's called, it's Freedom Trivia, Threvia. So in the attached PDF, there are 15 questions about our beloved hosts. Five questions per host. All of the questions are based on conversations heard during the previous season of three. Oh, no. The host took turns reading their own questions aloud. The other two can write their answers down or buzz in with their name or whatever they decide works best.

The point is, let's see who has learned the most about their fellow hosts. You will notice I didn't include any answers with the questions. This prevents me from having to send a separate PDF for each host, and it eliminates the possibility of anyone accidentally or intentionally seeing the answers in advance. We get it. You're lazy. No, I think very smart and thought this out. Since the questions are all based on personal stories that the hosts have told in the podcast, some multiple times, okay, that's a dig.

They should know the answers to their own questions, okay? Okay. So you're just going to read these? Do you want me? Yeah, I guess I could just read them all. It doesn't, you don't have to read your own. And we all are answering. You're answering as well.

Yeah, wait. Then I need a piece of paper or something. Okay, you want this and I'll use my phone? No, I have paper. Okay. Where'd you get all that paper? You have your Southwest Journal. I don't know where I even got this notebook.

It's like, Oh, my word. It's so random. So random. It's so random. Okay, these are the Scott questions. Oh. They're divided by each person.

Oh. So you won't answer these, but you should write down what the real answer is. Oh, okay. Okay. Got it. Okay, I understand it.

The first concerts got attended was for what band? Oh, God. I have to have listened to you. I laughed, but I was really insulted. Um, shit. Okay. Um, so number them. No, that's number one.

Okay. Two, Scott has had his hair permed once in his life. Why did he get that perm? This is hilarious. This is like a little, this is your life. Right? For me, too. Thinking about my permed head.

Three, Scott and the writers on the CBB television show were forbidden from writing any sketches that featured what animal. I was just thinking. thinking about this because she wrote to me today. What? I don't remember any of this shit. I do. Okay.

Four. Scott once visited a store in Santa Monica called Beads and Things. What were the things? Oh, shit. I love this. My life is so interesting. Five. The first time the Crock Fairy visited Scott, she left him with gibbets that looked like what?

Oh. Yeah. Dang. These are good, but I, mm. I think I remember this. I might get this wrong. So should we give the answers on that one and see how our points are in? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, so one, we have to, Paul and I will each say. So what concert was it? I said George Michael. I did not have an answer, so I'm going to say, um, Isock Perlman. What was the answer? The answer is oingo boingo. Wow, I feel like George Michael is basically the same thing in my mind.

You do not get points. Something like that, but I couldn't think of anything. Okay, Scott permed his hair. Why? I said for a play. I know that it was for a play. It was for a musical called Oklahoma where you played the role of Curley.

Oh. I mean, Paul is definitely right. I wonder if you get a point. That does count. Oh, okay. Because it's right. Well, there it counts. It was for a play.

It was. I mean, it's a musical. Okay, what's the animal? Okay, shut up. What's the animal that you can? You tell me what you get. I said cow. I believe it was snake.

Snakes, yes. Oh, it was snakes. Someone was afraid. She was afraid. Why does it have to be snakes? The head of the network was afraid of snakes. Oh, right. And couldn't even read a script that snakes were in.

It's okay that we repeat them because I don't remember what's going. Scott once visited a store with beads and things. What were the things? I said records. I'm so mad I couldn't remember because it's something crazy. I just put down umbrellas. Pool tables. Oh, man.

It's even crazier that I could have remembered. And then the Croc-Ferry left one in the shape of, I said fries. I said Baby Yoda. Grogu. Oh, you were right. Fuck, I did pretty good. Yeah, okay, so keep track of what you got. I got one, which was basically half.

I got three out of five. You got three. Okay, so we're, remember that because we're all going to tally up our points at the end. Okay, so I'm writing, just write down what you got. Okay. My questions now, everybody. Okay, these are Lauren's question, questions about Lauren. Let me get ready to write until you can't see it.

Yep. The first concert Lauren attended was for what band? See, it's harder than you think. Um, what dumb shit does she? And when you're ready, let me know. Okay. Oh, this is so funny. It does make you feel special like your life is interesting.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay. Ready? In 1997, Lauren and her friends bought tickets to the Mr. Bean movie Bean in order to sneak into what R-rated movie. Oh, shit. What year did it say? 97. 97.

I don't remember this. I like this game. I do. It's really fun. This is a really fun game. I can't imagine our listeners would remember it either. Because you know, everyone knows we were told this information. It's not like you're just having to know something about your friend. You were told. Oh my God. A movie in 97? I don't know.

You have to just guess. Okay. Ready? I know it's not this, but I'll just write down. Okay. While in college, Lauren and her roommate were informed via a note on their door that they had won what prestigious dormitory award. Oh, fuck. I kind of remember you talking about. about this, but I don't remember the answer.

This is hilarious. The next question. Okay, are you ready? Yep. When Lauren and her friend tried to go swimming in the shower, what did they use to cover the drain? Oh, right. Oh, oh, right. Okay.

I remember you doing this. Yeah. But I don't remember what used to cover the drain. I mean, yours are very specific. Well, I guess mine were two. Okay. What was the first movie Lauren watched with her daughter? Oh.

Oh. Um, oh, man. Okay. Uh, what is that called? Let me know when you're, you got to put some down. Okay. Okay, you guys ready? Yeah, I did, I did not do well.

I didn't do well either. Thank you. The first concert Lauren attended was for what band? I said it was Dave Matthews you were under the bridge when they poured that shit on you Okay I said I did not know what to put

So I just put in sync And was surprised that The phone auto corrected it immediately Wow with the asterisk Wow good good job phone It was dispatch To take a shower and shine the shoes Yeah

Okay and what What movie do we buy tickets for And to sneak We bought movies I'm sorry We bought tickets for Bean I know this is not 97, but I said Pulp Fiction because it's like an R-rated movie that... Yeah.

I have no idea when this movie came out or if it's R-rated, but I put Legends of the Fall. It was Scream. Scream! Into you. Okay, well, in college, we were informed on our door that we won what prestigious dormitory award. I said, cleanest room. That's what I said, too. That's the right answer.

Oh, my God. All right. Okay. When Lauren and her friend tried to go swimming in the shower, what did they use to cover the drain? I said duct tape I said towels Phone book Phone book

That's good That's really good And then what was the first movie That I watched with Hott Encanto I said Moana It was Encanto Whoa I got two

I cannot believe I got two Okay great I did not feel confident About any of them Great job everyone Now it is time for Paul's So Paul has four total You're doing really well

I have four total yeah So four is what we have to beat Yeah So I have to get three. How many do you have? You have one? I have two. So I have to get two to tie and three to win.

I have to get all five right, basically. Okay. No. Well, I'll have to get four of them, right? The first concert Paul attended was for what band? Oh, God. Oh, shit. It's all from the same episode.

Um, okay. God, what would it have been? I'm trying to think of like what it could have been. All right I'm just going to guess Okay Nathan if you want to go back to other episodes And do this again

Yeah it's hilarious Paul's first serious girlfriend Lori worked in a toy shop With what punny name Oh god damn I wish I can remember it Oh God oh God It's like I know the other pun name

Yeah I think you guys had trouble Remembering it within that episode I know Okay, I got to do well on these last three Okay, three is according to Paul's fifth grade music teacher A song cannot be a rock and roll song unless it includes what instrument Yep, thank you

And this, by the way, I'm benefiting from this being constantly talked about on tour Yeah, almost became a character on the tour Oh man, not fair in the car I'm glad to be reminded of it Paul was the president of a four-member club headquartered in his childhood basement. What was the name of the club? Oh, my God. Oh, that's really hard.

That's honestly unfair. I don't think anybody can remember that. Okay. Okay, five. And final question. When Paul played Jigger in a production of Carousel, what offensive phrase did he used to insult the character of Julie? Oh.

It was in the script, though. Oh, shit. it was what I was in that show I think I have a guess and it's not right but I think it's it was like but if it's not close it's funny I remember now okay everybody ready all right yeah first concert I said divo I said Jim Crocey I don't I had no guess long dead by the time I was born it was squeeze oh man oh that does sound familiar oh yeah in Philly right Okay. What was the toy shop's punny name? I said, wind me up. I said toys not in the belfry. The last wound up. Oh, you were so close. I was close. Oh, you were so close. I was close. That should count.

You got no wind up cigar. Okay, according to the music teacher, a song cannot be rock and roll unless it includes what instrument. Saxophone. I said drums. It was saxophone? That's insane. Yeah, exactly. That's what made it a story. That's funny. So anytime a song with saxophone came on in the car, usually an R&B song. We would say, hey, rock and roll. Rock and roll. It counts. Okay. Paul was the president of a four-member club,

headquartered in his childhood basement. What was the name of the club? I said, cool kids club. It's not what it was. I said the world's biggest dumb shits. I wrote KKK. Oh. I realized I spelled it all with a K.

World's biggest dumb shits. Shangri-La 2. Shangri-La 2? Why don't I remember this? That's why it's like, honestly. I wish I did. Now I will. Okay.

And then what did you say to Julie in the play? I said you called her an old whore. I said whore, too, but I don't think that's right. I know, I think it was whore. If memory serves, it was a wobbly-hipped slut. Slut, we would have counted slut. Damn, okay, I got one. I got one.

Total. Oh, total, I got three. Wow. So Paul is our winner. You know us all the best. Wow. That was a great game, Nathan. Thank you so much.

Thank you. That was really good. That was really fun. Yeah, I would absolutely love to play that again. I would totally play it again. Wow. well that's going to do it for this episode and just a reminder um we don't like calling you this but we want to thank all of our three to piss face i actually have never said it i don't think

that's a probably a lie i mean you can if you guys wanted to be called that the audience overwhelmingly voted that's the thing about democracy from somebody who said they wanted to be called little duky pigs oh okay i saw that too that's one person yeah I the the issue is is everyone voted on the pissing sense was this a reddit vote I forget where it happened I think I think they went to actually they went to the polls okay I think they did it on election day they said hey we're also going to hold a separate election it made sense just because everyone was just to get it out of the way yeah anyway but thank you to all of you and if you want to hear ad free episodes of freedom you can go to stitcher premium or

CBBWorld.com and you can follow us at Freedom USA and you can call us at ha ha ha la impoo or whatever that number is. Or it was like one old bag wag or something. One old bag wag. Wobbly hip slut. Wobbly hip slut impoo. Just yell out wobbly hip slut and we'll hear. We'll be there in five minutes tops. You can call us at gagga jagg opt. Gagga jopts. So stupid. call it a gag a loho 78 and um yeah that's it anyway we love you we love you thanks so much for listening thank you so much and that was so fun we'll see you next week bye bye Story Pirates is the number one podcast for kids and families in the world and the newest edition to the Lemonada Media Network.

We take stories written by real kids and turn them into sketch comedy and songs, featuring professional actors, famous guests, and original music. So get ready to light up your kids' imaginations with a show that you'll also enjoy. The Story Pirates podcast, new season coming November 6th. Hmm.