Threedom - Threevisiting: Rashmi Amademus

Episode Date: May 12, 2026

Threevisiting on the Tues: Lauren, Paul and Scott talk about school stories, headlines, and play Rated Scenes. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Unlock every episode of THREEDOM and THREEMIUM, ad-free, on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/shop

Lemonada. I don't know about you, but I like keeping my money where I can see it. And that means you must not know about me. Unfortunately, traditional big wireless characters, characters. Well, these guys are kind of characters. I'm talking about big wireless carriers. They also seem to like keeping my money too. After years of overpaying for wireless.

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Mintmobile.com slash freedom. Upfront payment of $45 for three-month five-gigabyte plan required, equivalent to $15 a month. New customer offer for first three months only, then full price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details. Ho-ho-ho, ho. Mint Mobile. Hi, it's Julia Louis Dreyfus here, and I can't wait for you to hear our new episode of Wiser Than Me with Cindy Lopper on Amazon Music. Cindy may be a girl who just wants to have fun, but for 40 years she has brought

playfulness and a dash of punk to some serious activism. We talk about her, lifelong LGBTQ plus advocacy, her astonishing music career, and pick up a whole lot of wisdom along the way. Listen now only on Amazon music included with Prime. Generous. You can go to Paul in the opening credits. Are you, are you okay? I wiped out. You're out of breath? I wiped out, yeah. Your head is down between your knees? Yeah, but that's just because I almost fainted. Okay. Is that dirty? Breathe in. I guess so. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe in. Breathe

What's that? That's Bush. Yeah. They have a song about... The sexy nirvana. Somebody is fainting? Breathing. Breathe out.

I guess someone's being alive. Have you ever fainted either? Yes. I felt light. Well, I'll tell you what. I went to the doctor the other day. Speaking of breathing. Oh, I went to the mountain.

Oh. Okay. That works. I'm going to write a song about this. But I went to the doctor the other day. I had to do that, you know, breathing test where you have to blow into the thing. In the doctor's book. Wait, what?

Lauren, you know that's not true. I didn't know. I'm not a guy. I suck out of this butthole. For, okay, for women who don't know this, when you go to the doctor, they test your breathing by, the doctor,

he takes his pants down, turns around. It says, blowing it this bad thing. If you make my butt bigger, you pass. Blow me up like a balloon. And then you do it and he's going,

oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah. Wait, is it that where do you have to make the ball go up? Well, this didn't have a ball. It was an electronic thing or whatever. And it was like, it's basically take the deepest breath you can, blow into it as long as you can. It is hard as you can. I had to do that one time. The hard part is.

That would make you fucking pass out. Yeah. And plus, it's really hard to do, actually. Plus, you have to fast for 12 hours before you go there. Not me, man. Really? Oh, yeah. You're just going in there.

Why are you fasting? Because they're taking your blood work. I have a full Thanksgiving dinner before I get blood work. I have to do this. But I can't remember why. Because any sugar in your. When I had my septoplasti where they lasered inside my nostrils. Oh, right.

Because I had a de-a-ed septum. But I think it's back. Deviated septum. It's back. Your nostrils aren't going to fall out like last time, right? Yeah, nah. I had a big slug of blood come out. I blew my nose today and it gave me a bloody nose.

Wow. It was scary. That's not supposed to happen, right? When you look in the tissue and see blood, it's a bad sign. It makes me feel like a lob-o-em. Yeah, if you were in a little. movie, like we would know you'd be dead within three scenes. Yeah.

Well, it's better if you cough and have it. It is better. You feel more sympathy, because if somebody blows their nose too hard and there's blood, you're like, you blow your nose too hard. That guy's gross. Yeah. Yeah. But then the joke's on you.

I'm dead. Ha, ha, ha. So anyway, I blow into this thing and, and my arm starts spasming. Whoa. What? I'd never felt anything like this, but it starts, and I said, oh, I feel weird. And they were like,

okay, let's get a cold. A cold compress. A cold compress. They put it on my thing. I didn't end up passing out. Put it on my thing. Put it on his thing. Where is this doctor?

His arms going crazy. Put it on his thing. So, so. But you also had to get smelling salts, didn't you? For when I had my balls drained. Oh, okay. When they went farmed to table with my semen. That's really fucking disgusting.

bum all night long. But they told me that people pass out all the time from that test. But they won't stop doing it. Yeah, because you're blowing

your brains out. I mean, literally. Yeah, people pass out a lot and we don't know how else to fix it. We just need to do this test. Yeah, you have to blow the ping pong ball up. You just do! There's no other way.

There's no way to know. Also, my doctor really apologizes every year when he has to do the finger, the prostate thing. And he's like, there's no other way to do this. I apologize. When they invent something,

I'll be the first one. in line to... Now, let me ask a maybe gross question. Sure. How could it be? Given the topic we were just on, I can't imagine how this could end up gross.

Now, you ever... You ever... Are you working on your standoff? You ever go be a prostate exam and you sick out of duty in your butt? Has that happened? Just in there. It's just... No, you have to poop.

But you have to poop soon, but like, you didn't time it right. And then you have this test and then, That has not happened to me. Okay. Well, I mean, you're fasting. It's a pretty specific problem, I guess. Oh, you defast.

That's the number one reason they ask you to fast is because I don't want your shit. Probably. They don't care about the sugar in the blood. That actually does do something. Probably. I had a doctor. I had a doctor once do it and he was talking to me while he was doing it. And then afterwards, like, see, I talked to you to distract you from, you know, what was

going on. I was like, yeah, I got it. Yeah, I was pretty hyper-focused on what was happening. Yeah, it didn't quite work. But I appreciated the effort. That's so dumb. But he just had a squeaky toy and was like doing it in front of your face while. Just jingling keys.

So in terms of fainting on the topic of painting. Yeah. I have fainted, I think twice and almost fainted a couple more times. But it was all kind of in the same period of life, I'm not mistaken. It was all like when I was like 16, 17 years old. What was happening? One time I was at a funeral and it was really hot and a lot of people were painting, which is really. Wow.

Do you think it was a combination of the emotion and the heat, or was it purely just heat? I think, I mean, I'm sure people, I'm sure being sad. I don't know if that makes you faint. But you know what I mean? Like people hyperventilating, crying and stuff like that. It was really hot in this church and really packed. And so it was. There was a doctorate of one's breath.

Yeah. Sorry that we talked to. It was the only person that could attract a lot of people. It was from Martin Luther King. Yeah. Mont Luther King? Martin Luther King? And the other time I almost passed down inside of McDonald's.

And then... Because you wanted it so bad? Because I was really hungry. You ate too many fries. I think I was hypoglycemic at that time. Is it possible to be at that time hypolycemic? Yeah, that can change. Yeah.

Anyway, I was. So that happened. It's not that interesting, you know? Just a few more little times like that. I famously fainted in church when the Pope got shot. Really? You're like, oh! Yes, he got shot in front of you.

I was like, oh dear. I was in grade school and they made the entire school go next door to the church and start praying furiously for the holy father. Jesus. Like what?

What? Like God is going to be like, should I let this guy go? Oh, look at all these people. Can go either way. Praying, that's the whole thing about praying. How much do you like this guy? Yeah.

It's like it's not a preponderance of like how many people. It's so, I know. Praying is so stupid. It's so. Yeah, I mean, I don't think it's so stupid. Anyone who's ever prayed is an idiot. Okay, I was like blindly agreeing with you because I was thinking about shoes. And then I thought, I shouldn't say praying is stupid.

Were you praying for shoes? Yeah, I was wishing to God that would get some. Please, God. You haven't had shoes in 10 years? Yeah, it's mostly Biffitt life for me. Biffitt. Biff at life. So wait, so you just pass out from praying?

There was, it was, I believe it was summertime and it was very hot. And it was packed because the whole school was there. Yeah. My father was rich. My mother was very good looking. Wow. And you were aware of that. I remember the feeling of it of like it getting like staticy in my head.

Yeah, that's what happened. It feels like everything's shrinking down to a little dot. Yeah. And then I woke up and a nun was loosening my tie. Oh, man. What a fantasy. Oh, yeah. Did you loosen your belt buckle?

Do you think people have a lot of non fantasies? I've never thought about that one. Do people have a lot? A lot of non fantasies. None. Yeah. It's called regular life. Yeah.

There's probably nun porn. There's freaks out there. For sure. Yeah. For sure. Get a spanking, you know, that kind of thing. My old girlfriend dressed up as like a sexy nun for Halloween, like in a latex nun costume with the she bought.

It was cool. Yeah, it sounds great for it. I'm not Catholic or anything, so it had no, it didn't have that type of effect on me. It just was like, oh, I like the fit of this. I, because I went to cat. I like the way of tits and ass. In the latex, my dear. My darling.

I brought you a flower from the garden. My dear one. I went to Catholic school, do not have a nun fetish. Could not imagine having one. Well, because there was never, like, miserable. There was never a sexy nun. They're usually mean old witches from what I understand. You kind of.

Yeah. I did not have any sexy nuns. There was one, I remember one attractive nun from my high school. Talk slower. She was mean, though. Talk faster. Like all attractive women. She was like all attractive women.

Talk as fast as you can. To me. I remember we had, there was one very attractive teacher that everybody kind of had a crush on who was a religion teacher. And so that made things very complicated. Because it was, of course, she's talking about God and stuff. And you're thinking, I want you to talk about how you want to make out with me. Yeah. Did she ever, like, switch topics suddenly to talk about that?

Yeah. Yeah. It was like, wow. It was like, oh, I forgot what I was saying. She said, I want to make out with you. There was this crazy story that I don't think I've ever told it. I'm not going to tell all the details of. Okay, but this is huge.

I wonder if I've ever brought it up. You'll know right away, I think. Okay. But in, so in middle school, there was this tape that was circulating. Did I ever tell you this? I don't know. It's just the ring. Yeah. And this little girl came out of it.

the TV. Yes, you've told this story. And it was made into a feature film twice. Okay. Okay, so I have told you. Um, no, there was this, this tape, this VHS tape that was being passed around that a kid at school had made. And, and in it, he was doing really embarrassing things. This sounds a little familiar. Okay, maybe I told it. It doesn't sound familiar to me. What embarrassing things. Well, I can't really tell you all of it because I'm too embarrassed for him. He was forgetting the name of an old friend. He's saying, oh, I had nice. to meet you. We've met before. He swore in front of his boss. If I've told him before, I probably gave more details than I'm giving now and then he can figure that out. Anyway, I was just reminded of it because

I was trying to think of like hot teachers from the time and none of them were, but I was thinking about how basically this, this like cooler kid had like played video games at this kid's house, taken the video. I don't know how he knew about it. He stole it and passed her own school. We all got a chance to see it. At a certain point, it was my group's turn. And we went to my friend's basement. She had this huge TV that was like the deepest, largest TV anyone's ever had. At this time, did this kid know that this tape was making the rounds? I don't. Did he like it?

I don't know if he knew. You think you leaked it? And I don't know if we even knew what was going to happen when we put it on. Like, we didn't know. And in it, he was nude. There was nudity. There was a lot of movement, not any masturbation or anything like that, but it was actually movement.

It was actually weird. It was actually weirder that he wasn't doing that. looking back at it, you know, it's like, what? It was really, it was, it was, it was, it was an obstacle course of sorts. Okay, we got to talk off mic about this. An obstacle course of sorts. I was just, we were all. No, wait, nude mousetrap?

Essentially. We were all screaming and it was like a bunch of girls in this basement. And then we, we passed it on to whoever's turn it was. I don't know how this was happening, you know, like who was, it was just the way things were, you know. Do you think it was eventually handed to the kid and like, you got to see this? and then he puts it in, that's me! I don't know, but the principal found out. And our principal was like...

When do I get to see this tape? He was like Robin Williams with a really high voice. He was like that's... In what? Like funny, you like him? No, he looked like him. Oh, okay. To me, I don't know if anyone will agree with that. And meaning people from my middle school who hear this.

And then they got in trouble and everyone like the kid got in trouble and all this stuff. Wait, the kid whose tape was got in trouble? I don't know what happened to him, but the other kid got in trouble. in trouble. And then for my whole life, I've never forgotten this. And I've been like, and I'm sure that's not good for the kid either because that means probably a lot of us haven't forgotten it. And it's one of those things that really like sits in your brain as like a crazy, almost urban legend of the time. Yeah. It's so wild. And that's so fucked up. And I wonder how he's doing. Hey, if you're listening. Hey, if you're the nude obstacle course kid, we'd like to hear

from you. Honorary Pisspick, you will be our guest after Rick Miller. I don't. I will say it. I don't remember his name. Oh, hello. Obstyl course new kid? Yeah, no. Absal course new kid here. Hey, how's it going? Hey, listen.

I just want to know. Is this Paul? Yeah, this is Paul. Hey, I'm a piss pig. Hey, thank you. What's up? Listen, Lauren told us the story about the tape. She told you about that?

Yeah. Oh, shit. Well, I mean, we don't know. I was just calling. Just calling for no reason? Yeah, I didn't know you'd tell the story. Oh, my God. You call yourself the...

Obsicle course. Newt kid? Yeah. Of course I do. Oh, C and K. Yeah. Listen.

Oh, shit. I got to tell my wife about this in my family. Oh, you got married. Oh, good. Yeah, I got married to my obstacle course. Oh, no. I don't know how that works, but. It's like carrying the apple tower.

Okay. It doesn't have to work in that sense. What are the cones? Okay. Well, we're going to. Bye, Baba Booie. Oh, no, he got us. Oh, man.

He Baba Booey does. He Baba Booey does. Anyway, I don't remember his name, which I think is better for everyone involved. Yeah, I'm glad you're not saying his name. Well, no, I'm not even sure what it is. So there's no way you can ever look him up or hear. Tommy. No, I'll never be able to figure it out.

Ben. Although you probably have mutual. Timothy. No, I'll never be able to figure it out. I'm protecting. Sherman. Sherman? That sounds right.

Have you ever? It's Sherman Wormon. Oh, Sherman, Wormon. Sherman, Wormon. Do you have anything from your high school or middle school that's, like, interesting in that way? Like, like, a moment that, like, stood out as like a, or like a rumor or something. I remember.

I remember a rumor about these two girls. They were twins. And this was when they would have been, they were younger than me. I think it's when they got to high school or they were in eighth grade or something like that. I think they're still younger than you. No, no, no. They're about to pull ahead, which is really weird. Because you did that pause a couple years.

Yes. I wanted to suspend an animation for the quarantine. I was like, wait, me, when I was home. And you did a rum springer. Yeah. Yeah. But I decided to stay in the real world and not go back and suspended animation. Tons of meth and like Mountain Dew.

Tons of meth and mountain do. Yeah. And I remember someone telling a group of us that these girls like at this, you know, fair or something, they snuck off with these guys and did all this stuff. And like at the time, I believed it. And then later realizing like, that didn't happen. at all. Yeah.

They didn't do all that stuff, these children. This honestly, my story feels like one that would have been a rumor. Like we saw a thing where he, and you'd go later, you go, no, there's no way. Right. But you actually saw it. But I did. Yeah. I saw it.

Well, there's a certain part that haunted me. I'll tell you about later. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. Hey, have you ever had the experience of somebody that is in your life and maybe, I don't know, like a peripheral way, not somebody you know. Like you. known.

Somebody you never thought of as attractive, unattractive, you never thought about them either way. And then all of a sudden, you were like, that person's very good looking. Oh, yeah, for sure. It's so weird. Yeah, it's so weird. And then you're like, what was I thinking the whole rest of the time? I'm like, what changed or why now?

It does feel like it happened overnight. Like, oh, what a pleasing looking person. I know. Maybe I'll leave Janie. I'm saying that as me. You had better... I'll leave Janie. I don't even like this scenario as a fun bit.

Yep. Take it back, bitch. All right, I take it back, bitch. She's in... Thank you, bitch. She's in Palm Springs right now. Oh, she's having a girls... The woman you find so attractive?

Yeah, my wife. Is she having a girl's trip time? She is... She is inadvertent. It's not. It's a different trip. We were supposed to do it together. And then something changed in my schedule.

I couldn't do it anymore. So one of her good friends went with her. Wow. And there's nobody at this place where they are. That's great. I wish I was there. Doesn't that sound fun? It does?

Yeah, it does. But I have, this rarely happens. I have the house to myself. Oh, what are you going to do? Party? I'm going to cram in as many movies as I know she will not want to watch. Last night I watched the dun, oh, I can't promote things, but I watched the movie. The Dunn, you said the Dunn, I'm going to try to get it.

Watch the Dunst and checks in movie. No, the Dunst. I watched the Dunst and Checks in movie. And it was great. Okay, but you love the book, right? You watch the movie, but you love the book. Dunstan checks in. The book, it was pretty faithful to the book.

In the book, there's two Dunstons. Right. And he never checks in. He never checks in. Is it, but it's so called that. Yeah. Yeah. So it's sort of like a waiting for government kind of thing.

No, he's checking in with all of his friends. Yeah. Well, I'm going to write a thing called Waiting for Gutfman and Godot. And it's going to combine those two projects. Wow. I love that. Wow. And waiting to exhale.

Throw that in there too. Sure. Why not? Sure. Setting a car on fire. I know what this means now. I watched that during the pandemic, I believe, for the first time. Oh, you should have done the episode with this.

No. I would love to set a car on fire. Oh, yeah. I bet it's fun. You know what I'm really enjoying. Can I promote something that has nothing to do with acting? As long as you have nothing to do with it, you can talk about it. I just discovered.

I thought we were also not supposed to promote things. Let's not promote it at all. Let's not help any way. No, they don't. Yeah. No, fuck it. I won't say it. You're not even supposed to promote old stuff.

Yeah, because this is old. So am I. So am I? How old? I'm old. Barely legal? It's, yeah, because I guess it came out a year ago. Oh, yeah.

You know what kind of porn I like? Firmly legal. Yeah. Like, let's make sure it's like 20 years later. No concerns. It's laughable. You're asking for my ID. Oh, we went,

Janie and I went to a birthday party and we, there was. that moment, we're going into this bar, and there's a guy out front, and he just, like, smiled at us, and we went in. And, like, we realized it a second later, like, oh, not even, that guy was absolutely not even close to carding us when he saw us. Right. Like, not even as a courtesy, like, we do, we card everybody here. It was like, no, these people are fine. I find it weird when you go to a place that has a big sign that says, we card anyone regardless of age. And then they don't card you. It's like, geez, am I really that old looking?

I mean, you don't look 17. I walked right up to him and say, what if I had progeria? What if I'm a jack? What if I'm a jack? All right, we have to take a break. I don't know about you, but I like keeping my money where I can see it. And that means you must not know about me. Unfortunately, traditional big wireless characters, characters.

Well, these guys are kind of characters. I'm talking about big wireless carriers. They also seem to like keeping my money, too. After years of overpaying for wireless, I finally got fed up with that crazy high wireless bill, bogus fees, and free perks that actually cost more in the long run. And I switched to Mint Mobile. I advise you to do the same.

I care about you. Stop overpaying for wireless just because that's how it's always been, a disgusting attitude, that thwarts progress. Mint exists purely to fix that. Mint Mobile is here to rescue you with premium wireless plans starting at $15 a month.

All plans come with high-speed data in unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. FiveG! Bring your own phone and number, activate with ESIM in minutes, and start saving immediately.

No long-term contracts, and that means no hassle. Ditch overpriced wireless and get three months of premium wireless service from Mint Mobile for $15 a month. Look, if I had needed this product, that's what I'd use, but I don't have a phone. I do all my business by Pigeon. If you like your money, MintMobil is for you. Shop plans at mintmobile.com slash freedom.

That's mintmobile.com slash threidium. Threadium, no. Freedom. Why did we call it 3DMintmobile.com slash freedom. Upfront payment of $45 for three-month five-gigabyte plan required, equivalent to $15 a month. New customer offer for first three months, only then full-price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra. See MintMobile for details.

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Look, Quince has been very good to me. I just got some linen pieces that I'm going to be taking with me on the road as I go on tour this summer. I need to be comfortable and I need to look sharp. So I'm accomplishing both. Thank you, Quince. Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Head to quince.com slash freedom for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash freedom for free shipping and 365 day returns.

Quince.com slash freedom. And we're back. And we're back. And I meant to ask you, Lauren, if we can read this, this thing that I sent you. Remember I said we should read this on the air? No. This thing? Oh, that.

Yeah. Okay. What is? I don't know what this is. Well, Scott was doing one of his regular checkups on me on. Yeah, one of my regular sweeps of the internet. Who's talking about Lauren? Who's talking about Lauren?

No, this got sent to me in a Google alert, I think, for comedy, bang, bang. but the headline made me jolt. Oh, is it time for headline? Headline. I got donuts for you guys. By the way, the author of this piece is Roshmi Muthi. I wish I could do more, but I don't touch my tonight show money. Rashmi Mather wrote this.

Wash me Mather. Three weeks ago. Rosh me, Amadamus. Amadamus. Roshmi Amadamus. For the title of the episode, it's spelled R-A-S-H-M-I. Yes. Rush.

Rush me, Amadamus. Okay, so here's the headline. Fact check. Is Lauren Lapkis pregnant in 2023? Oh, I love these things. So a whole website, I love these things. Wow. The writing is crazy.

Yeah. It sounds like it's written by AI, but I don't think it is. But here, okay, here we go. It sounds like it's written by AI. but it's probably written by a guy. And he's crazy. All right. A name is trending on the web

and gaining the attention of the people. Thanks, Rushby. Yes, we are talking about Dorothea, Lauren Alegra Lapkiss. Wow. She is in the headlines because of her pregnancy news. That's not true.

She is an American actress and comedian. Oh, I don't know why I'm in the headlines, I guess. Yeah. She's an American actress and comedian. she's mainly known for portraying Susan Fisher in the Netflix show, Orange is the New Black. Mainly, yeah. This news is getting circulated on the web that she is pregnant. No, it's not.

This news is gaining the attention of the people. People are hitting the search engine to gain all the details about the news. What happened? What is the entire matter? It sounds like one of my school papers. Just filling space. Is she pregnant? We will try to cover all the details of the news.

Let's continue the article. if you could like up your word count. Yes, it says that, but in an essay for school. Let's continue the essay. Yeah, I'll go on. Should I go on? Well, I guess I will. I shall continue a pace.

Dear reader, that is not the end. Is Lauren Lapkis pregnant in 2023? He would know. She is also prominent for her portrayal of Jess in the series crashing. Okay. She's also appeared in many TV series. She played the voice of Lada in the animated comedy series Harvey Girls Forever. Thanks.

She has worked as a cast. in the 2014 Jurassic, which she filmed both in Hawaii and New Orleans. Yeah, and it came out in 2015. Several of her scenes were improvised. Several things remain to tell you about the news, which you will find in the next section of the article. What?

It's like the night guarding the Holy Grail. Several things remain to tell you the story. All right, tell me what's next. According to the report, okay. She released a weekly podcast, Newcomers, with co-host Nicole Byer, in which the two friends

she has appeared in many podcasts. Okay. Including improv for humans, Comedy Bang Bang. Now, why does Comedy Bang Bang get third billing? I think he's not a fan, maybe?

Okay, Rashmi. Come on, buddy. Talk to me. Reach out. Rush me how a dame is. And her very own podcast. Oh. If we talk about her married life,

so she is married to Mr. Mike Castle. Oh, wow. And they tied the knot on 5 October 2018. Does he prefer to be addressed as Mr. Mike Castle? That's how I talk to him. Oh, yeah. Okay.

She has made the announcement that she is pregnant. When people heard this news, they got happy and curious to know about the news. Okay. Scroll down the page to know more information about the news. Laura, because it's pregnant that makes me so happy. What does it mean? I want to know more information about this news. The announcement has been happened on her social media.

Okay. She has revealed the news. Now I know where this is going on. To show her cute baby bump photos. Oh, thanks, Rushman. Her husband appeared with a baby. Nope, it was a dog. The couple became parents

for the first time in 2021 in summer. Apart from this, she is in the spotlight in 2023 because of pregnancy news, but she has not said anything about this news. Because it's not real. There is no evidence that she is pregnant. That's what it says? This news can be fake,

which is spread by the spreaders. It does not say that. We have shared all the details about the news, which we have, of the spreaders, which we have fetched from other sources to make this article. If we get any further details, we will tell you first at the same site. Stay tuned for more updates. So we're supposed to just continuously read this page?

Yeah. Does that what stay tuned? Refresh it right now. Look for updates because I might have added something. Come on, Rashmi. Yeah. Oh my God. You're now pregnant.

I'm noun. Your noun is pregnant. I'm pregnant with a noun. Well, congratulations, Lauren. That's amazing. That's really great news. A special Lauren's topics. happy and I'm curious.

It's just to make it very clear, it's not true. And Rashmi doesn't know me and doesn't know what they speak of. Hey, the story about the stork, right? Yeah. Did parents ever really say that? I mean, you know, I just learned something. Oh, what's that? My friend just had a baby and the baby has a little red mark on his face.

And she said it's called a stork bite. Yeah. I've heard of that. And I've never heard of that phrase. Yeah. And I thought that's kind of cute. and so it makes me think that people did use that enough to make that phrase. Well, how do they explain the mother's change in size?

But didn't like, well, I guess it's like how they, you don't want to say how it came out. So they say like, the mom's going to go to the hospital and then the stork comes and brings the baby. Right. But how do you explain that the mother is growing in size over the course of nine months? Well, the stork isn't there. That never occurred to me. No, but I thought because the image is always the stork flying with a, with a diaper.

Is it from the 50s only? I think it goes back further than that. I think kids are too polite to talk about mom's weight. So they assume she's really fat. Kids are notoriously polite. That's true. They never call out things that are obvious about it. I don't want to bring this up.

Kids never comment on people. She's sensitive about this issue. I don't want to bring this stuff. Kids ask themselves, how would I feel? There's a cute kids book that I got for Holly's birth there. She got, I guess. For your birthday. For my birthday.

Well, it was my birthday. her birthday, I gave birth. What are we talking about? She got a book called Bodies Are Cool, and it's a cute book. It's all about different bodies, and it shows all the different ways people can look. Every single? Honestly, pretty much. It covers a lot of territory.

Are there hot people in there? Yeah, but I mean. Was it like this person's fat, this person's skinny, and these people are all so hot, and this is what you want to be. Yeah, it's really like that. You could look like anything. I enjoy it. You can be thin. You can be hot.

You could look like anything. You can be thin. You can be muscular. You can be hot. You can have great hair. Great abs. Great abs. You can have a perfect tan.

And you can be that. A perfect tan. And you can be oiled up in the summer. You can be greasy as hell. You can be greasy. Oh, I brought Emmy a little hand-me-down gift. Oh, boy. What a day.

What a day. It's a pretty good one. Lauren is pulling out something. Now that we used to go, we used to get a lot of clothes from Lauren. You get more. Oh my. Oh my God.

Little cowboy boots. Little cowboy boots. They're so cute. Wow. Now I have to warn you. Oh my God, they're cute. Wait,

turn them, you had them perfectly before. I like this. She doesn't seem to like hats or shoes. I think you'll be able to get them on for one picture. Angle a little bit. Holly wore them maybe like three times. Yeah.

But she wore them out one time and it was the cutest thing like with a dress. It's just so cute. Very cute. They have, is that, what's the stitching eye? Is it a flower? I can't quite see from that far away. Yeah. It's cowboy stitching.

It's just a sort of. It's just a cowboy design. Wow. Yeah. They're just, they're fun. This is her next shoe size. Maybe she'll like shoes by the time she grows enough to wear these.

But she will have to wear them eventually. Yeah. When she's walking and needing to have that support, she might like them. Now, last time we recorded, Koolop had a gift bag for Lauren to give to holly. Yes. Yes. And then Lauren was nice enough to film an unboxing video. Yes.

It was so cute. A little dress. Wait, do I have the video? But she seemed to like better the box. She liked the plastic bag that the clothing came in and she put it on her head as like a hat. But I also liked that she did open something up, but she turned her back to the camera, Miles Davis style. Eddie Van Halen's stuff. Did he turn his back to the audience?

He would always turn his back to the audience so no one could tell what his technique was because it was so revolutionary. and then everyone copied it once they actually were able to figure out what it like the tap. They moved the audience around. Yep. Like David's Copperfield. Is you excited? It's mostly me. I have a dongle.

I'm sure you do. Dongle! That one? Look at this dress and I'll, oh, you opened it. Let's see, what's in there? This is so cute. She loves to open presents now that she just had her present. Darling, who doesn't?

Let me see. Sorry, we're not supposed to promote things. I'm pulling it from her trying to put it on the video. Anyway. Anyway, you've all heard of present being opened. You know what sounds are. I thought she might talk more. She doesn't.

She's walking with it on her head now. But a very cute picture of her with a big plastic bag on her head. Yeah, not over her face. Not over her feet. Guys, come on. Everyone, well, by the way, it's not that big a deal. But you know what? On the internet, like any time you post anything, like I saw a,

A celebrity posted a picture of his child in their car seat. It was like a really sweet picture. Yeah. And I opened the comments going, someone's going to say to raise the clip on the car seat. Yeah. It was first thing I saw. And then someone commented,

there's always one. I love seeing it when it happens live. When you're like, you're looking at a thing. And then the comment, the judgey comment comes up right as you're looking at it like, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It's really. I didn't have to scroll. It's really crazy how everyone tries to control everyone online. Yeah. I mean, I will say like when I first put Holly in the car seat, I was doing it wrong and a friend messaged me and told me, but then I was like, that's helpful.

That's the way, yes. Like, but I'm like at a certain point, I think people know what they're doing. It was like right when I had. Exactly. What were you doing? Exactly. The chest clip was too low. This is the common comment. And I'll say it here in case anyone doesn't know this. It should be between their armpits because in case of an accident, it protects their chest and

it wouldn't go into their, you know, organs in that way. So it helps keep them secure in the chair. Yeah. I mean, people should know that, but it's just people are very, He's been in the car for a week. Oh, my God. What? That's, well, there's an Oprah story where like.

Yeah. Someone left there. Not for a week, but for, you know, on a hot day. No, it's horrible. Again, I have to say that PSA from when I was a kid, hot enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk, hot enough to fry a dog's brain. Wow.

Yeah. My car says, reminder, look in the back seat when I get out of the car. Yeah. Would your car mind talking about a dog's? to my car and telling you to do it. Yeah, sure. You should also say that when you get into the car. Just like a scream face killer.

A scream face killer. Like a vampire or something. Yeah. Vampires can't get into a car unless they're invited. That's just places and stuff. It's not cars. Your car is like an extension of your home. If you live in your car.

Which I do. I mean, sorry about the mess. Name one celebrity who didn't. Who didn't? Who didn't? Who didn't. Tiffany Haddish. No, she did.

What? George Washington Carver. He did. He created peanut butter in a car. Matthew McCona. He did. Really? I think so.

That feels familiar. Tom Hanks? No, he didn't. Okay. He was pretty successful out of the bat. So he was a... He did pretty well, right?

Yeah, he went from babysitter to movie star. He was literally babysitter to buzz and buddies, and he was set. Yeah. I loved bosom buddies. So did I remember watching a show. Probably not. I mean, I don't know that it's... Who knows?

It feels like the premise of itself is. itself is flawed now. A lot of it was just like, oh my God, I love these guys being so outgoing. Yeah. You know, like they just went for it. You know what I mean? They just were like very. They did a lot of funny stuff.

Like there are flashes that I have of it of bits that they did. Yeah. That are still funny to me. Yeah. Do you recall that show that they made for CBS like not that long ago that was like a version of that? Yes. Yeah.

I audition for that. I'm sure. Yeah. I auditioned. And I auditioned for the wrong part. This had never happened to me before or since, where I thought I was auditioning for one of the guys who dresses up and drag. There was like,

there were a few things like this where you, men can't get jobs anymore. So they have to go and get a woman's job, dress up as a woman to get this job. Oh, oh, I thought you were complaining about this, like, about the audition. I was like, this is what happened to me. Men can't get jobs anymore. You go on audition, so you got to dress up like a woman. I didn't book it because men can't get,

jobs. So I auditioned. I got there and they, and I started, and it was apparent immediately that I had the wrong sides. Oh, wow. And I was like, oh, I'm sorry. I was told this part. It's like, no, we wanted to read this other thing. And I was like, can I just do this just so you can see it? Yeah, see what I'm like. And so I did it. And then they said, here, here's the other part. And of course, it was like, hello, can I take your coat? A Mr. Lead character. No, it was like, it was like, The, like the broie, you know, friend who's not doing this, but talks to them about it at the bar or whatever. So a lot like you. Yeah, exactly.

I was like, this is actually going to be worse, guys. And it was. Nice. Yeah. I love that. I love that. I audition for what planet are you from? And I worked out all day and I went to Sony and it took me so long to get there.

And I finally, I walked in. I finally got there after an hour and 45 minutes or something. I walked in. The casting director took a look at me and said, oh, you're not right. for this. Yeah. Nice. Tell you what,

just read this other part. And I looked at it and I said, this one line and she goes, yeah. All right, I'll do it with you. Hi, can you come in here? And I said, no, she went, that's great. Is that her fake papers she gives to people who drove their ass all over there and she feels bad? I'm like, but just let you do the audition.

Like, it's just like, just let me, it takes five minutes. Yeah. Let me just do it. I feel like. What was the part? Like, could you? I've never seen it. So I have never seen it.

I have no idea. I don't remember. But it was just one of those like things that made me go like, maybe I should stop auditioning. Things that make you go, maybe I should stop. Because things like that are like, unless it's a specific physical type that is stipulated in the script.

Right, which it wasn't, but I think she just, who knows, maybe I was too tall, too intimidating, too manly. Too cool. Right. Yeah. Those are your issues. I did, I again,

had one of those, I auditioned for a part like that again years later. Oh my God. So this was an audition for a, a semi-scripted sitcom about relationships. So it was all these different couples and everything. And this was shortly after I got back from New York and I was getting back into auditioning again and everything. And I remember sitting in the waiting room. I was the only person there. And then someone that we know, walked. out of there, and said to me, run. Whoa. Run.

Run. And I went, what? And he goes, seriously, just go. Whoa. And I did not. And I was called in. I started reading this part. And the guy who was the creator of the show was giving me direction.

It was bad direction. And the casting person I could tell was like trying to deal with this guy and embarrassed. I don't think he might be, I don't think, you know, he might be too kind of intelligent for, read too intelligent for this part. So maybe he could read the other part. And the guy was like, um, yeah, all right. And then I read it and it was like, this guy was clearly like did not know what he was doing.

It was really, it was so obvious. Right. And this was his second show. Wow. And I think his last. I don't think this one went. I got, I need to know who this is. and if he's ever done a nude obstacle course

during the break a nuisdical course I was told in a Frazier audition that I was really bad oh my God what really? I think you told us that yes they said you were bad I said I was bad and then they complained

to your face yeah and then complained about me to my agent too it was like he was really bad he's never coming back okay that was really bad yeah that's what they said I think so that's so crazy something like that

was this the audition where you were like under your breath you're going fuck Frazier fuck Frazier in the But, and then once I went to, I audition for her. Oh, I didn't realize she said that as well. That seems. I audition for Hurley Burley, just like in Long Beach.

Oh, my God, Hurley Burley. Yeah, just in long, a stage adaptation in Long Beach. Yeah. Just a smaller part. And I did my audition. The director goes, yeah, there's that musical theater training. Wow. God, people are so cute.

Well, excuse me, your play is Hurley Burley. What do you expect me to do? Hurley Burley. Yeah. Anyway, fun. Don't you miss auditioning in person? Yeah, I do. I know it's really right.

Are you just self-taping now? Is that all it is? It's all self-tape. I would prefer it. I haven't even got one of those. No, but getting it right doesn't really, it's not what it's about. Because I feel like what you're missing is like the charm of talking to someone in

person. Oh, yeah. No, no, no. You want to get it right. It's not, you're not really sure about what you can do. If you mess up in an audition and then keep going, that's impressive.

Like, there's a lot of things that work with it. If I could just. self-tape, I would audition again. Well, why don't you just do it? Okay. They see thousands of people. I'll send you all the ones that I get. I'll send you.

Okay. I'll take it. They see thousands now. I'll just pass it. Yeah, they see thousands. Yeah, you'll just pop right in. Yeah. They want you to believe that they're actually watching a thousand videos a day.

What do you have? Or a blue screen that you'd do it in front of? Yeah. I do it from a current. I like how this is so new to you. Yeah. This is how we've been living for like four years now. I know.

Boy, I tell you, this sack strike has really hurt me. That's what I like to say. I'm going to miss. I can't wait to get back on sex. I'm going to miss that $400 a year. All right, we have to take a break. Come on. We're back.

And I know what you're thinking. They're out of time. They can't do a three-cher. You could not be more wrong. It's time to do one and we're going to do one. And we even know what it is. Yeah. Three-cher is when we play a little game.

And it's not, this is not called a game. It's called a feature. Are we playing a game? Yes, we are. And if you want to send us a game to play, you can write to us at FreedomUSA at gmail.com. And this is, yeah, this is one called rated scenes. We've done it before. This is submitted by Kristen Kelly, double K.

Thanks, KK. Two home runs. Strikeouts. Strikeouts, yeah. Well, they should do it for home runs, too. So there'd be more Ks. That would be fun. What about KK Slider?

Yeah, well, What about it? Favorite musician. Oh my God, I love him. I know. He's my favorite musician. He always plays in my town square.

He plays in my town square too. He plays in my town square too. I think he does get around. Yeah. He travels a lot. I mean, that's, hey,

that's life on the road. That is. I'm not disrespecting it or even talking any trash. But when he plays, when he plays everyone in town comes out. Everyone in my town comes out. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, you can't miss a cake's live. Well, because those songs are really good. And when the credits roll, he keeps on singing. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. All right, this is This is where we improvise a one to two minute G rated movie scene And then we do the same scene again But we make it We make a PG, then we do it again as PG-13

And then finally as R-rated But what's the difference between the G and the PG? G is all ages. I know. Parental guidance, but Like what's... But PG-13, it feels like PG-13 are the same these days. doesn't it?

Or I don't know. Well, wait. Is it G? How many? It's G, PG-P-G-13 R. Let's cut out either PG-G or PG-13. Let's cut out PG-G-G-13. Yeah.

So G-P-G-13 R. Great. That's better. That's much better. That's why I brought it up. That's much. But you're complimenting him. Paul is a great idea.

I'm so glad you suggested it. And it's great to call it out because it's kind of like, what is the difference between G and PG. You know what I mean? I think that's what you are getting at. That is what I was getting at. I'm glad you picked up on that. I did because it was really clear when you said it.

Okay. All right, here we go. Your kids play softball on this team. Ding dong. What's up? You ring the doorbell at the park? No, I'm saying dingong. Hey, what's going on?

Oh, what's up players? What's up players? Ring the doorbell. Restart, restart. I was trying to shoehorn ding dong in here. I was trying to create a scene. That was a scene. Okay.

Listen, honey, you have to go to bed because otherwise Santa Claus won't come. No, I'm too scared. What if he looks in my room? Hello, Santa Claus here. Oh, no, he's here. Hi, I'm coming down the chimney. How could Santa Claus actually be here? Hope there's no one too scared.

I'm scared, Mommy. It's okay. Santa? Hi, everybody. Santa Claus here. And I have wonderful toys for everyone. A goldfish for you. Oh, a good toy.

Yes, a stuffed goldfish. I don't suppose you have anything for me. Stuffed goldfish. I don't suppose you have anything for me, Santa. I do. What? But I'm an adult. I know.

Check out your hinge profile. What a husband. That's G, all right. All right. PG-G. Okay. No, no, PG-13. P-G-13.

Excuse me. Remember your idea? Yeah. Okay. Okay. I guess it's because I don't know the difference between them is why I said PG-13. All right.

Honey, shit, you have to go to bed or Santa won't come. I really don't want to, damn it. Well, why don't you want to go to bed? I'm afraid. What if he comes and looks in my room? I mean, I hope Santa looks in my room a little bit. Oh, fuck! That's your one.

Neither if you can say it. Santa. Hi, everyone. It's me, Santa Claus. Oh, I have wonderful toys for you. Wow, what is that? This is K.Y. Jelly. What?

That must be for my mom. She's in menopause. Yeah, pretty dry. Okay, here you go. Sorry, I got it mixed up. It's like the Sahara Desert in it. Oh, really? What's been going on? Nothing.

Do you guys know each other? Check out your Grindr profile. Grindr. Okay. Merry Christmas, Santa. and scene. Okay, now are. The fuck are you doing up.

I'm not ever fucking going to bed, mom. I told you I was going to run away if Santa ever tries to look in my room again. You piece of shit. Get your fucking ass to bed right now. Cuck sucker! There he is. There is. Your boyfriend's back.

Oh, really? He's my boyfriend? Here, I'll take off my blouse. That's what I do with my boyfriend. Look at those tits. Santa? Yeah, it's me. I have gifts for you.

Here's a vibrator. All right. What am I going to get? Here, here's Pornhub. Pornhub, the website? Yeah. We have the internet. Santa.

There you go. You enjoy it. Oh, you don't even have an internet connection here. What's going on? Santa, your butt flaps open. Says your dick flap. Oh, these pants are on backwards. Wait, did Santa shit?

Yeah, I shit. Santa shits. What's so weird about that? That's pretty R-rated. That's disgusting. No child should ever see this. And seen. We did it.

Wow. That was perfect. That was fun. It was perfect. Absolutely no notes. None taken. All right. Well, I loved it and I wish you a Merry Christmas.

And a Happy New Year. Let's do one more. All right. Okay. More on topic. More on topic? More on topic? A moron topic.

Let's see, being dumb. Okay. I don't think they think about that, honestly. Hi, honey. Oh, hey, you're back early. Do you want to go to Fairyland? I do. I thought you'd never ask.

We haven't gone since we got married. Yeah, let's go to Fair. I mean, it'll be so fun. I mean, there's the dragons and the unicorns. Let's do it. Welcome to Fairyland. Oh, thank you. Thank you so much.

We bid you mortals, welcome. Do we need our passports? No, passport. are necessary in Fairyland. That's why it's been so long since we've been here. Yeah, I thought we were supposed to like sign in with a QR code. Yeah. No, no, no.

That is the mortal realm. Oh, that's right. That's right. This is Fairyland. Here in fairyland, you sign in with a dream and a wish. Oh, I've got mine. I've got my dream. I don't have my wish.

Okay, well, I say my dream. You can think of your wish. Okay. My dream is to create a world where no child has ever had cavities. Sounds like a wish. And you, mortal? My wish is to create a world where lots of children have cavities because I'm a dentist. And my wish is to have a million dollars.

See the difference? Oh, I see. And I wish to have her million dollars after she gets me. You made two wishes. You didn't have a dream. Uh-oh. Oh, no. What happens now, Ferry?

Oh, no, what happens now? The little witch is coming to Phelan. Oh, no. The sky's turning green. Oh, no. Well, it's not too scary. Yeah, it's just green sky, which is a little different. The clouds are pink, the sky is green.

It doesn't feel normal. We're not in a lot of danger. We can just leave before we want to. The clouds are pink. The sky is green. The clouds are pink. The sky is green. And evil walks in between.

Oh my gosh. I'm going to poke you. Ow, my butt. Ow, my wrist. Ow, my elbow. Ow, my eye. And I'll keep that. Scene.

And PG-13. Hi, honey. Hey, you're back early from your date with that woman. Are we sticking together or not? You know, I got any answers. Honestly, the date made me realize some things. What, really? That I love you and I want to go to Fairyland with you.

Oh, my God. I've been waiting for these words for so many years. We haven't gone in so long. We've just... We've been married. I know. I mean, but, you know, I'm tired all the time, but let's just go. Let's go.

Welcome fucking mortal. Oh, Sh fairyland. That's the one. Hi, we haven't been in so long. Do we need passports or QR codes? A DMV issued license or anything? You don't need passports?

You just have to show me your underwear. Oh, no problems here. Yoink. I am going commando. Not again. Yeah. Well, I was on the date. Mark.

Easy access, baby. That's disgusting. We're trying an open marriage. because we've been having issues. Yeah, we don't need your life story. Okay. Oh. Here in Fairyland.

What do you need? That shit to yourself. Okay. All right. So do I get to go in and he doesn't? Yes. Fuck. Cut two.

The sky's turning green. What's going on? Oh, no. An evil witch is coming. God damn it. The witch. Hey, I'm going to kill your stupid ass. What?

Watch this, stab. Ow, my stomach. No blood. But ow, it hurts. You still like your idea of an open marriage? You're the witch this whole time? You're punished. Shit, my eye, you dick.

Scene. And rated R. R. Rated R. Fuck. Hey, honey. Oh, great. You're so happy to see me. Hey.

What is it? How was your date with that slut? She blew me. Oh, good. I'm so that we're so open and honest about this. I know, but look, I didn't enjoy it. Oh, even better. A torturous blowjob from an ugly slut.

Meanwhile, you can be home with your wife. A different ugly slut. Well, we haven't even gone to Fairyland if we got married. She said the title. You want to go to Fairyland? Really? I've been hoping for it. I didn't expect it from you.

But if we could go, maybe it would fix everything, you know, make a wish, make a dream. Something could happen. We haven't been to Fairyland since we were growing up as kids. I know, but I wish. Maybe it'll rekindle some sort of spark between us. Let's try it. Oh, no, these cunts. Oh, this fucking bitch.

I remember her from when we were a little. Do you remember her? Oh, my God. Always asking for our fucking passports. What willie? Oh, yeah. And that's not all I'll give you. Oh, gee.

Oh. What did you just do her? Okay. She poked you with her wife. We're having problems, but we're still married. We're trying to make it work. He said he just got a blowy from some nasty little lady out in the world. Some nasty little slurt.

Some nasty little slurt who I told him he could go out with. because I approved her image on an app. And you were watching us the whole time. Okay. We do a sort of thing with the fucking camera on the phone. This is making me hard. And I don't have genitals. Oh, your skin is really hard.

Okay. Well, look, what do we have to show? What is it generally hard? Let me try to shoot you. What do we have to be? Why do you have done? I told you to stop carrying that around. You're going to end up killing someone.

I'm holding it sideways. I'm really cool. What do we have to do to get in here? Let's see. You have to... You don't even know. How many people come through here every day and you don't know? Nobody fucking comes here anymore.

By a ticket, show a QR, show our passport. You got to fuck right in front of me. I can't do it. I think we should get divorced. Instead of fucking in front of this... What are you again? I'm fucking fairy dickhead. You're a perverted freak is what you are.

Maybe I... And you're under arrest. What? Yeah, that's right. We're not having marital problems. We're not even married. We had created a... scene at our house to build a backstory to come get your ass you knew i was watching yeah you're

always watching yeah that's why you're arrested click click you're under arrest oh fuck now getting this little satchel get in it bitch and i go jean oh oh oh well that's what happened Which got there's too late. Yeah, got her cue late. Got her cue late. Got her cue late. Got her done. Hello, I've got her cue late.

Mm-hmm. Well, that's going to be it. That's fine. That's got to be it. That's got to be. Again, our email address is 3MUSA.gmail.com. We're on the socials at 3MUSA. And if you'd like to call us, leave a voicemail.

The number is Hague claims eight. That's right. And look, I have a show coming up with my other show. Scott hasn't seen. it's August 19th, the Dynasty Typewriter in L.A. And look, you know, we're going to watch Mamma Mia. Here we go again and do a podcast about it. Special Rowdy screening.

Whatever that means to you. That's really fun. Ooh, rowdy screening. And you can watch my old improv shows that have passed on the video vault at dynastatiattytytyty com. They've passed on. But they're still available to watch. And I'm sure I'll have a show coming up.

Check my Insta and be sure to attend. And me? Well, I've got a show with my old friends, Super Ego. We are reuniting. Whoa. We haven't done a show together in a while. It does feel so good. We're going to do a forgotten classics at Dynasty Typewriter August 24th.

Oh, my that's just five days after my show. I know. It'll be live and live streamed. You get my sloppy seconds. Yeah. That's what we asked for. We have not revealed yet which book we are going to be doing. But Forgotten Classics is where we implement.

is where we improvise a book that none of us have ever read using only the first line, the last line, and the names of the characters. We have a list of every book? Yeah, we have a list of every book. That you have a read. Yeah, we live in the Library of Congress. Oh, wow.

Yeah. So we'll be doing some tweets too that we haven't read. And then, of course, September 10th at Laudrum, it's me and Nicole Parker doing our first ever variety show together called Something for Everyone. and that is going to be a lot of fun. Go to Paul Ftomkins.com slash live for tickets. Or else, we should say.

Paul. Yeah, or else. Or else. Yeah. Or else you're in trouble. Yeah. I mean, Paul, you vowed retribution to anyone who didn't buy a ticket, didn't you? Yeah.

I mean, that was something that I thought we were just keeping amongst ourselves and that people would be surprised when I took my retribution. But, okay, now you know, you're on notice. If you don't come to my show, I'm going to murder you. Yeah. And so if you're dead, it's because of Paul. If you're dead, you must be friends. Drop dead, that is.

All right. Well, we'll see you next time. And that's all she wrote. We didn't even see you this time. We'll see you metaphorically. Every episode, we imagine every single one of us. We hold hands in a circle and we picture all of your faces. And you are a good looking bunch.

Oh, my God. You're so handsome and beautiful. Oh, my goodness. Goodbye. Bye.