Threedom - Threevisiting: Rumpleforeskin

Episode Date: March 10, 2026

Threevisiting on the Tues: Lauren, Paul and Scott talk about conditions in wedding vows, what they're watching, and play Switch it and Pitch It.  Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Unlock every episode of THREEDOM and THREEMIUM, ad-free, on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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It's morning in New York. Hey, everybody. I'm Mandy Patinkin. And I'm Catherine Grotie. And we have a new podcast. It's called Don't Listen to Us. Many of you have asked for our advice. Tell me, what is wrong with you people?

Don't listen to us. Take It or Leave a Device show every Wednesday out now. A Lemonada Media Original. I'm really close. Having fun in a manner that Grover would have fun. Yes, I remember Grover. Although you know what? RIP Grover.

I know. Grover died. Isn't that weird? It died in the middle of Sesame Street. Why did they kill Grover off? To teach kids about funerals. Yeah. It had to be someone that we cared it.

It couldn't just be like. grosser day. Well, that would be the human. Yeah. Did you ever care about any of the humans on? I care deeply about Mr. Hooper.

You know, I think is that they're, I think, I pulled himself up by his bootstraps. I didn't care in the moment, but then when they've passed now, I feel sad. When they pass,

it's like, or Bob or whatever, but watching the show, no, you don't want to see those idiots. What I do think is weird is that they have Grover haunting Sesame Street

and no one can see him. Yeah. I want to be on Sesame Street so bad. Wouldn't that be the cool. It would be really cool. You're sort of like Grover to me, but a human. Oh, really? Yeah.

I see that. Okay. I'll take that. You're very anxious. Yeah. Yeah, he is. Yeah. You're a big red nose.

I'm blue. My head is completely round. You love cookies. Well, that's unrelated. Here's what's weird is that they all love cookies, but only one is a monster. And about it. Yeah. What's his real name?

I think it's Fred. Fred the cookie monster. Right. said Fred. He's too sexy for his cookie. It's Fred Shendelman. Yeah. Fred Shendlman.

He just got to cue up. I think he nicknamed himself. I am Fred. Shenderman. Wait, is that Grover? It was a little more Grover than Cookie Monster. Yeah. Cookie monster is more like real cookie.

Me love cookie. That's right. The me part is very important. He talks like an idiot. He talks like a dumb idiot. It's like, hey, Cookie Monster. I love cookies. Now I feel bad because maybe English is his second leg.

I think it's that he's actually two. He's perpetually two. That's terrifying. Because Big Bird is supposed to be like five. He's like five year old. He's canonically five? Because he has the- What, 1970.

But he has the mentality of a five-year-old. Yeah. He's not real, so. What? He's supposed to be five. I don't know. He's like, I don't know what I should do. Well, you mean mentally five.

Yes. The body of a 70-year-old. Yeah, he's incapable of learning. Yeah. He's like the good doctor. Exactly. Exactly. I would see promos for the good doctor after, during Bachelor.

I watched a good amount of the good doctor. You did. It looks so funny to be. So now this whole like everyone's meming it now. Oh, are they? There's a clip. There's a clip. Everyone's making fun of going, this show sucks.

But I would just watch trailers for it. be dying laughing at it. One of my favorite things that ever happened was that Super Bowl where they had This Is Us on after the Super Bowl. Yeah. And all the people that that had never seen the show that hung around and watched it and were tweeting like, what the fuck is this show? Yeah.

You can't just bring random people into that. I was once at a stoplight and I looked up on the rearview. Oh, there's more. There's more. Only one stoplight ever. I thought it was a good story. It's green lights all the way for me, baby. Wow.

I looked at my rearview mirror and the. good doctor was in the car behind me. Wow. Whoa. I recognized him right away. I always feel like he has an Irish accent in the commercial. He's like, Dr. Sean Murphy. I'm the good doctor.

I'm the good doctor. Oh, would you ever let me take your appendix out? Okay, so if you had a button that... Who's to say I don't? Hold on, wait to hear what it is. That's right. Okay, so if you had a button where you were driving and you could turn any like green. But every time you pressed it, someone on TV, a fictional character died. Oh, absolutely.

No problem. But would you, it would fuck up some of your favorite shows. That's okay. But would you get to know. Yeah, you'd only be, it only have shows you, it was shows you watched. Would it fuck them up or make them more interesting? I don't know. So what's, what's a show you like? But see, you don't care about actors. Because look, you don't care if someone gets to happen. Young Sheldon RIP Becomes the title of the show Do you think anyone will After the strike is over?

Yeah Do you think they'll buy my pitch For Sheldryly Where it's Sheldon in a nursing home? I think they should do a crossover With Young Sheldon and ghosts And then once you've killed off Young Sheldon from your car trick

He's just on ghosts So any They all have to be characters They all end up on ghosts They all end up on ghosts. They all look at it goes, how they all let up on ghosts. I like it. It's a good solution.

Because the actors still get work. That's what I was concerned about. Yeah. I was concerned the actors getting fired on the show. And if they found out about your button, they would try to kill you because you're like putting their jobs in jeopardy. Fuck them. They're rich. Anyone who's on TV is rich.

Yeah. I mean, yeah. Honestly, if you're every week. Yeah. Yeah. You are. Well, this is the conversation coming into play with Rizantzant. and streamers.

So true. We are a strike podcast. We forgot about that. Of course. But yeah, no, people were posting. We are a strike podcast. We forgot about that.

We forgot to talk about it. We forgot to talk about it for the last 400 episodes. Yeah. We're going to get there. We meant to talk about how the strike is coming. Well, we were on strike talking about this. We were like striking talking about the strike. We were getting paid and talk about a strike.

Super fast. I'm sorry Zip Zee Zip Zeebizzee Zeebizoo B Zee Zee Bapap Bap Adu da da da da da da da da da da da da dae Lauren I would love for you to put out an album Alright here's the first song Okay

It goes a little to something like this Zo me Zo me Zo be Bip be be zeeby zeebizin Bap ba ba dae pa dae pa da I'm gonna joke that's my favorite part of that song where she said she's going to joke I know it's because I well my

sore throat is still here because we're recording the same day as before Do you remember that day when the line broke and the monkey got choked? The line broke and the monkey got choked And then they all went to heaven

A little rowboat I don't know that Yeah It was sad That's a sad That's bad news That's really sad That's low down

That's like as sad As the life of pie Oh which I I book the life of the I bought, I think it sits on my shelf unread to this day. To this day, really. Crack it open, right? At least crack the middle open.

Mike quotes a line from it. A giant tiger jumped out. You'll be like, oh, God. And I should do it really like up to yonder reefs. A giant tiger. Whoa. What's that? Mike read, what?

Mike can, like, Mike like really likes this one line from that the hill quote. And then it makes me cry every time. I literally can't remember it ever. But I, I, my heart was surprised you every time. A life of pie. Yeah. And then I go, oh. No, but it's just.

Just a beautiful. I admire that anyone who can remember anything. He's very good with quotes. And he's very good with actors names, characters names. Why would that trigger Siri? Siri, get out of here. He knows character first and last names a lot of times. I found this on the web for actors names,

character's name, the trigger series. Siri get out of here. Check it out. That's what you found. You found something on the web for that, you fucking bitch. No, you didn't. You didn't find something on the web for that. That's the most uncoopable shit I've ever heard.

Oh, today, Alexa was like, I think Janie asked what the weather was going to be. Lexa tells us the weather and said, oh, by the way, if you want to know this. Yeah, it's always suggesting shit. And so we're like, yeah, okay, let's hear it. And then she's like, you can get this app. It's like, hey, no, fuck it. That's. Well, so what I read is that.

You want an app. Alexa's in trouble because they're having trouble monetizing anything that anyone ever asks it. And that shouldn't be what it is. Yes, exactly. Because people are just saying, hey, what's the weather? Yeah. And there's no way to monetize that. That's why it's always suggesting things like, hey, if you want to know this,

yeah, too bad. Yeah, too bad. Then you shouldn't have bothered. Tell me the weather. You thought people were just going to be going, Alexa, buy me this, buy me that. Well, it's all, Alexa, spend my money, please. Yeah, I'm not doing that. Yeah.

I've never bought anything off of something like that. Work harder, not smarter. Just talking. Figure out a way to monetize. all the information you're stealing from us. Yeah, that's the... Willingly giving you. Yeah.

Because, no, but they're trying to say like, no, you should constantly be like saying, oh, I'm interested in the weather. Let me buy an umbrella from stupid Amazon or whatever. By the way, if you're a sponsor, Amazon, we love you. We love you. We'll do anything for you. Alexis is the best and she should do whatever she wants.

Yes. She's a beautiful girl. She's a beautiful girl. She's a beautiful girl. She's a beautiful girl. She's a beautiful girl. Why do they make Alexa just like a flat disc? Like, at least make it above.

of a beautiful woman. When you're robust of a beautiful woman. Everybody. The Alexa type thing that's in Megan is pretty cool. I haven't seen that movie. That's a good movie. It's fun. I'll check it out at Halloween time.

Okay. It's actually, why don't you watch it on your next movie night? It's not that spooky. You could watch it very easily. It actually is more like an action. I was trying to tell. It's more like that. It's more like an action movie. Oh, okay.

It's not really a gross. It's not really scary. It's not really a gross. It's more like a Mario. He's like a Joe. Do you consider it a Joe's to be a how to film? No. It's not like a scary. You're the one who watched Psycho. Would you have fucking weirdo? Would you watch Megan if there was a live orchestra? Yeah, only then. I actually would watch that if there was.

That sounds really fun. I saw a Phantom Thread with a live orchestra. Wow. I was hot as a kite. Yeah. I've never seen that film. Because we were walking towards the, it was at the A's, the theater at the ace. And on the way from dinner to the theater, we passed on the pop stores.

Yeah. We're like, let's fucking do this. Wow. And it was great. That was high as a kite at Psycho as well. Yeah. Which did make it better, I will say. Yeah.

I'll say, we went to see Fast X yesterday and Koolap texted me, come down here. And I'm sure she's talked about this on her own show. I think I'm cool to talk about. I think you're cool. She's like, come down here. And she was... AETC. I was like AETC.

I thought you said ATD. And then I was like, what is it? At the dark. We were leaving from her Zoom therapy session to go to FastX. And so when I get a text of... It's a tough turnaround. When I get a text of come down here right at the end of therapy, I figure something was brought up that she needs to bring to my attention that she's upset about. My therapist tells me you're the worst.

Yeah. So I go down there and she microdoses on Mondays and Thursdays. I did not know that. And she apparently got a new, much like Gremlins too, a new batch. And took far too much. Oh, wow. And in the middle of her therapy session started tripping and brought it to her therapist's attention. And her therapist was like, okay, well, we're you.

here now. Let's deal with it. But she's like, she's like, I don't know if I can go to the movie. I'm like, this is the perfect time for you to be high. Like you have the rest of the day. We took the day off to go see Fast X. Like just let's just enjoy it. And then she got into the right mindset and it was just great. Oh, good. Fantastic. That's scary though when you don't expect it. Yeah. She has any more than that? Yeah. I was, we were chatting about this. A lot of people are doing this. Yes. Yes.

I'm curious, you know. I'm weirdly not that curious about it. I'm not that curious. I know what it feels like to be stone. I know what it feels like to be sort of stone. And I think I get what that would feel like. And I think I could see how that'd be great. So I'm going to do it now and I'm doing it forever.

But I just, I don't, I wouldn't say I'm like, what's that like? It's more than I'm just kind of like, all right. I'm more like. People like, you're not stoned. It's like your mood's a little bit better. It's like, what that's being stone? Were you just supposed to apply an antidepressants? Was I probably a pimple?

My head hurts. I was just touching me. No, you were pushing up a mask. She was pushing up a mask. Oh, that. Because I was touching my head, so I didn't know what I was doing. Yeah, my glasses. But I didn't know if I was subconsciously going with that.

Sorry. Because my head hurts. Now I don't know what I'm subconsciously doing. Yeah. Oh, you're doing a lot of weird shit. What? Really? Can you read body language?

No, not at all. never know what someone's trying to put out there. Do you know what was really wild when I, they do it a little bit here sometimes, but not, it hasn't really caught on like this. But when I was, um,

living in, uh, London for those couple months that I did Kelsey Graham, show. And I said cheerio at everyone every day. And I was cleaning chimneys constantly. Um, on the news when they would talk about politicians and stuff,

they would so often talk about their body language. Really? that if they have like a body language person there saying but if you look at his body language he's doing this oh we never talk about it we never talk about i've seen it a couple times and people are like and people dismiss it there's always like a reaction to it's like what the fuck are you talking about like vaccines and stuff exactly exactly yeah or the idea that uh 9-11 was an outside job an outside job Um do you think I'm gonna start writing that all over the place Do you think of 9-11 as being the day before your birthday?

Like when you hear that? Oh, every year I think about it. Do you think like, oh, is the day before my birthday? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's my birthday Eve. When I tell people when my birthday is, it feels weird.

Yeah. Yeah, you're like it's 912. I feel like I have to say. I wasn't celebrating. I wasn't celebrating that year. Yeah. I did celebrate that year. What did you do?

Well, I had a party planned at a bar. So? And I think you're not supposed to celebrate anything. But here's... Were you in New York? No. That would be really crazy. And so I had a party already...

In New York, I already... Some people probably... Some people in New York probably did. Is that possible? Sickos. You'd be really insane. Yeah. But somebody did.

Well, but the thing is, I had the party planned already. And then I decided not to call it off just because I, You want to get together, everyone to get together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you have to. And so I just wrote out, like, sent an email. And rage together. Guess what?

This is not about me anymore. Yeah. Let's all get together. But let's, but let's remember that it is my purpose. Look, if you bought me a present already, you can give it to me. Listen, I'm going to act like I don't care about my birthday. I need you to say, but happy birthday to you. Yes.

And presents still are expected. Yeah. Well, it's just a nice gesture. Yeah. And I got so many flags that year. So many people gave me American flags. Okay. Oh, American.

You must have been happy. you love flags I love the American flag I love the American flag so much I cry every time I look at it Who do you think has the best flag? I don't think our flag is that great I think our flag is okay

Tell that to Betsy Ross I'll tell her face Up in heaven You think I'm from Philadelphia man We go by her house every day and say Yes suck Yeah who has the best flag Well I think Great Britain is a great flag

The Union Jack The Union Jack looks really good I like a Japan Japan just a red circle. Japan's beautiful. Yeah. Absolutely. What's the busiest flag?

Like where there's just way too much shit on it. Ours might be up there. Well, I mean, what do we have? 50 stars. Yeah, that checks out. Coolest flags in the whirms. Not coolest, busy. I'm going to look at busiest.

Busiest flag. North Macedonia looks like a big sunburst and it wants to look. Wow. That looks cool. That's a good one. That's really good. All the pops up is the most popular flag.

I don't care about the popular flags. I don't care about the best flags. I want the busiest flag. What, don't you understand? Come on, chat, GPT. Richard Scari, get at me. Which countries have the craziest flags? Cleasiest.

Bermuda. Bermuda is a... Bermuda. Jamaica. Oh, what? Super crazy. Okay, let me... Let me describe.

Mermuda, you're crazy. Ooh, I want a lazy dumb Mermuda. So crazy. Okay, Isle of Man, their flag is three legs attached to each other. What? Prove it. No! That's terrifying.

I don't like that. That's too wicked. I like to say shells. Oh, that's beautiful. That's just pretty. This is a pretty one. Kingdom of Benin is a guy being hitting someone. That's true.

fucking awesome. That's, that is a great flag. Welcome, everyone. Hey, come on in. Fripp. Oh, my God. Good stuff. Bini, Mama.

Beanie baby. Come on, Beanie baby. Come on, Beanie, mama. If Mike were to call you Beanie Baby, just one day was like in a real loving mood. Just one day. You're my Beanie baby. And then like every day he was like, hey, Beanie Baby. I'd be okay with it.

Because it's my. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'd be cool at that. What if you call me, Beanie Baby in front of you? I like that too. So like you guys are at a party.

He walked. That's my kidding. The two of you walk up to Paul. He goes, hi, Beedy Baby. And we both go, hi. Oh, you call him Beady Baby too, I see. And he just calls everyone to be a baby. Then eventually it's all he can say is Beanie Baby.

He just goes Beanie Baby, Beanie Baby, Beanie Baby. He thinks the same words. You have to read his inflection about what he's actually saying. I'll be fine with that. In sickness and in health. You're very easygoing. I'm chill. I'm very chill.

Can you ask for exceptions in your wedding vows? It's a good at health, except if you can't stop saying Beattie Baby. If you start doing that, it's over. I wish I had put that in my vows now. That's funny. Except if for some reason you can't stop saying, only Beanie Baby,

thinking that you're doing regular human speech. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. Yeah. I will be leaving. I'll be leaving your ass. Rules are rules.

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What's in store for us in 26? I'm Chelsea Clinton, and we're back with season two of my podcast. That Can't Be True. Follow along and catch up on season one wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. Once again, talking to Lauren Lapkin. Horan Lackett, Scott Ackerman, about life and everything in it. Have we covered everything yet?

I think so. What were the topics that we hadn't covered up? We hadn't covered if you only say Beanie Baby, so we just hit that. That was new. That was new. The space race? I think we've covered everything. Have we covered the space race?

The Cold War? Did we talk about those yet? The Cold War? What do we think about it? It's too cold. And they need to warm it up. Raise the temps here, guys. We did talk about war.

We did talk about war. That counts. That counts. Okay. So we covered the gold war. Anybody watching anything you just love right now? You're just obsessed. No.

No. I'm still watching old Doctor Who. Okay. I'm still watching the newest Doctor Who. Reality recap. Yeah. I'm watching the new Queer Eye. Yeah.

I forgot about Queer Eye. It's fun. I forgot about queer. Sobbing it. Nowadays, everybody wants to say. Nowadays, everybody wants to say. But not. I was someone to say. Remember that guy?

Remember that guy on Instagram who I showed you guys? Yes. Yes. He'd be like, he kind of wraps it almost like that song. Oh, no. But he would be like flip his, his clock and watch us out of his fucking angle. I don't remember that. You don't remember this guy? I got to get his name. I got to get his guy. He's a real real guy. Nobody's like everybody wants up. Everybody wants to talk about it. And a clock or something. I don't know that you're describing this for those of us who don't know what you're talking about. She actually is.

Oh, no. She's doing a great job. Oh, my gosh. Heck of a job, Brownie. Heck of a job, Brian. Remember that? Remember when they referenced it on the Spranos? That was pretty funny.

What they say on the Browns? Tony Sprano said that to somebody when he was mad with them. Heck of a job, Brown. Yeah. Interesting. Heck of a job, Brownie. We're doing his apnea. He really knew how to,

I'm going to figure out what that guy's name is. I think it was something like Grunch or something. Grunch. Something random. I hope it is grunch. Grunch, if you're out there, we love you. Oh, no, he stole Cruspins. Flip your watch that's on your ankle, I guess,

whatever Lauren's trying to tell us. The grunt you stole Crosmyss. The grunt you stole Crocksmith. I'm going to try to Google it. What have you been doing? It's texting Mike. That's a really good question. texting random people.

Oh my God. Hey, Beanie Baby. This isn't the way to Google. Call Mike Beanie Baby. I'm going to right now. I'm going to text Mike. Mike said I was trying to find him the other day. Text Mike right now and say, I want to call you Beanie Baby from now on.

Okay. See what he says. See nowhere taping? He doesn't know where I'm ever. Oh, what? Awesome. Let's see what he says. Okay.

So Lauren has texted, Mike. I want to call you Beanie Baby Baby Baby. I also have already texted my Beanie Baby. With no context. Should I text him something? Yeah. He's typing. He's typing.

He said sounds good. Sounds good. Okay. I'm going to. Should I just Beanie Baby or what? Yeah. Let's do BB. Just BB?

All right. All right. Beam babe. Beebe. B, B.B. There we go. Lauren, do you know who Twiki is? Twiky? From Buck Rogers?

Twiki. No. Bidi, Bidi, Biddy. There was a show called Buck Rogers in the 25th century, starring Gil Gerard. And Aaron. Aaron Gray. Gray, yes, from Silver Spoons.

And so it's about this astronaut who falls asleep, Rip Van Winkle-Style-style wakes up in the 25th century. Does he just fall asleep? I thought he like, what, yeah, he was filthy reading. The most boring book for the world.

Just a chair. It's like war in peace. He, like there was some accident and he got, you know, he got, it was like into a time loop or, or was it literally?

It was, it was like, I can't remember. I can't remember. I can't remember he got transported to the 20th century. Or he just like fell into he was in some cryogenic.

Yeah. Deep space. It's probably deep space coma. Oh, yeah. Um, and so Gilderard was like, like a wide man who was considered hot at the time.

Uh-huh. Because he's beefy. Like that was a great thing. In the 70s and 80s, you could be beefy. Yeah. And people would be like, that's a man.

He's a real hunk. Sure. Uh, hairy chest. You know what I mean? Yeah. Which you're not allowed to have anymore. Yeah.

Yeah. Did I tell you that about the one. That got away? The one that got away. Almost. She had a hairy chest. No, there was this, when I worked at Chinchin. There was one of the,

waitresses was like, hey, I have a really tall friend who. Oh, yeah, the woman, yeah. Oh, I told you this? You've talked. Yeah. But I don't recall what happens. Well, she was like, I have a really tall friend who is interested in meeting you because I said you were tall.

She asked if you had a hairy chest. And I was like, not really. She went, oh. It's a weird question to ask at work. So, yeah, it's a weird work question to field. Yeah, especially. And also, fuck her. Like, she's like, I need to be with somebody tall.

He's tall. We all have a thing, but before you even... You can't have two things. You can't have two things. Yeah. He has to be tall with a hairy chest. His feet have to be three inches long. And he has to wear a red hat.

Non-negotiable. His butt has to be like two big hot cakes finished together. And his penis has to be nicknamed Rumpel's field skin before I get there. Ropal Forskine. Rumpel Forskins. Rumpel Forskins. Is Rumble Forskin You're going to nickname

Yeah You gotta go for that Okay write mic back And say I want to call you Rumble Forskine See if he says sounds good He is I don't think he hasn't written me back I'm great

He just wrote back to me and said He's probably tipped off that we're recording right now. Did you write it to him? Yeah. I did too. Oh,

you did too. Yeah, I just wrote a robot forced it. Okay, Paul. You were talking about Gilderer. Oh, Gilderrard.

Okay, so Buck Rogers had this little robot friend named Twiky, who before he said anything had to make this noise. Bidi, Bidi, Biddy, and he was voiced by me. Maleo robot.

Nail Blunk. Yes, he was a tiny little robot. He was voiced by the guy that did Bugs Bunny. That's really random. But is Bidi, Bidi Bidi Bidi Bidi better or worse than like the typical robot saying like query or? Oh, it's worse. But it takes up the same amount of time. Yeah, but it sucks.

It's irritated. I know it sucks, but. Beedy, Bidi, Biddy, Bidoo, but I was watching a doctor who yesterday. But so he'd be like Bidi Bidi Bidi Bitty, okay. Like that would be. Exactly. That's so dumb. Mike's literally putting our child to bed

I can see and I'm bugging him with it but I was watching a Doctor Who yesterday and the Dalek was like telegraphing everything he was saying he was like, then you must be destroyed and then he fires a laser, it's like just fire the laser bro. They love doing that. If someone said then you must be destroyed to me

I'd be like bye. They're constantly saying you will be exterminated and they give you the reason why. Yeah. And then they say, here's what's going to happen. Guys, just don't bore me to death. Shoot me to death. Right?

Yeah. Let me look up Twicky. Twiki. He had a round. I'm going to try to draw him next to my sylon. Okay. I wish you the best of luck. Why are you keeping the sylon?

Because I feel like once I remembered or once Paul reminded me that they only have one eye, I feel like I nailed it because I. Okay. So this is Tweaky. I think he was two K's. and he had a little, like, thing on his thing. And then he had... I beg your pardon?

Is this sort of what tweak? Yep. Wow. Sounds kind of cool. In retrospect. Someone isn't going to like that. Wow. Is the voice of Bugwoods.

Did they make toys of that? That's what they were shooting for, I think. No pun intended because Buck Rogers shot at people. Is this what it looks like, Paul? No. No. No. What do you mean?

He looks like he's got a little helmet on. Oh, this guy could have a helmet on. No, he, no, come on. Come on. I, I at least got the height, right. Beady, be, beady, beady, bedy, bedy, bedy, bedy, be. Oh, yeah, a little helmet.

He also would carry around in his, in his torso, this round, light up thing. Yeah, that's what that is. That was called Dr. Yeah, yeah. Now what was such? You got those three buttons correct, but you don't have Dr. Theophilus in there. What was Dr. Theophilus's deal? He was like a smart consciousness that was in this round.

This is the future liberals want. You know what? I wouldn't mind it to be a consciousness. I want to be a consciousness in the ether. I want to be a consciousness. You're barely a consciousness now. I got you. I swear.

And fun, but in fun. I swear, I'm paying attention. Yeah, man. Bidi, Bidi, Bidi, Bidi, Bitty, I'll pay attention. I pay attention. The Bidi Bidi Bidi Bidi is actually cooler than I remember it being. Because in my memory, it was him just saying. But it actually sounds like it's a noise.

Yeah, he's like trying to think of what I want to say. I think it's kind of badass. I think it's the coolest thing I've ever heard. It's kind of changing the world one step at a time. I feel like a beta next to Tweaky. I'm a cuck and tweaky is everything. I'm literally gagging for Twiki. Is it Tweaky or Twiky?

I don't know. I think it was one of those things where people pronounced it differently. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because, yeah. It was the age of, it was the age of there were still people left over from like Playhouse 90 days or whatever that came from the theater.

And so they were pronounced things in a weird way. And Aaron Gray felt like she was a soap opera actress. Twiky, Twiky, Twiky, Twiky, Twiky, Twicky. She was gorgeous. Twiky. Oh, Twiky. You're a beta. gagging on that tweet.

We should do Battle of the podcast stars, podcast network stars. Where did that come from? Because I was thinking about how Gil Gerard and Aaron Gray would, or the type of actors who would be

on Battle of the Network stars. And I was bummed that we would never be able to do it because we're not on a network show. Yeah. But we're on a podcast network. Oh, okay. So it's like us against the Smod Castle. I want to call you Rumpel Forskin from now on.

He said, less interested in that. Only Paul may call me that. He put a heart on it. I love it. That's good text. That's good shit. I love it. Good shit from Mike.

Do you remember tattoo? From Fantasy Island? No. The band. Yeah. Oh, the band. Oh, yeah. All the thing she said.

All the thing she said. Run through my head. Remember that one? I just remember. They're not going to get us. Yes. But they're big. kit was all the things. Yes. Well, I don't remember that, dear. So, let me play it.

All the things she said, all the things she said, right under my head. What did a tattoo? I remember they were fake lesbians. Yeah. Oh, they were fake? Team against title. It was our first time. Okay, we have a Airbnb ad first. With Rock Lobster. Okay, we can skip the ad, though. Okay, here we go. Oh, rain trickling. This is subtitled. So thank you for letting me know. Thank you for letting me know. This is the official music video This is the official one So this is not a bootleg video

This is the video I hate when I watch a video And I'm enjoying it And then I find out it was the unofficial video Running through my head Running through my head Okay this is familiar Running through my head

Running through my head Is not enough I feel like I heard the other one more than this song though I don't think I know the one you're talking You're not going to get us. They're not going to get us. You must have seen them do like an award show or something. Oh, I must have stuck in your head.

Oh, I must have. It must have been at the country music awards, your favorite thing to watch. Here's what I go through every time. Did tattoo get married? Did people also ask? I realize this is my reaction when I see Nicole Kidman and Heath Urban is that they show them in the front row and they're dancing along to whatever song. and I go Oh, right.

Nicole Kittman's married to Keith Urban. Right. And then I go, oh, right, Keith Urban's Australian. Yeah. His name.

Those same two things every time. His name implies he's like Urban. But I forget that she is. That she's Australian? Yes. Yeah. Because she hardly ever plays Australian.

Yeah. Well, she, after a couple of marriages, she was like, I'm only going to marry an Australian from now on. Oh,

from now on. I think that's smart. So she just picked one. or she's planning to do more. Wait, she was married to Tom Cruise and who else? Tom Chris. Didn't she have another one? Let's look her up.

Who was her other husband? Who was her other husband? Was it Billy Bathgate? Is that who? That's the guy from Ocus Pocus. No, it's the guy from Mr. Magorium. Zwondoram. Yes.

Zwonderable. She's been married twice. Oh, just Tom Cruise and Keith Urban. Okay. Wow. That's fine. That's a good amount. You know, I think, yeah. That's where I'm going to stop.

Two's perfect. Yeah, absolutely. Two's perfect. Absolutely. Do you think she would have stayed with Tom Cruise if he had an Australian accent? I think that was the deal breaker. I heard about that. In one of her AMC promos, she kind of mentions that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She puts these Easter eggs in like, so depending on what movie you see, you might get a different one. Yeah. Right. So the one I saw, it was before Mario or whatever, she was like, I, like, she says like, like her she turns right to the camera and then right then she was like I only got divorced from town cruise because he wasn't Australian she did 250 separate yeah takes of that to include 250 separate Easter eggs plus I was gonna say it wasn't takes really because it was no she did the

entire thing it was it was in a series okay it was she would and it was it was one three hour take and the boom operator was like such a hero because they were just staying yeah and she she was just thinking of them they didn't write them for her she was just thinking what could I say so it wasn't scab work or the boom guy had to get his arms cut off because all the blood permanently drained out of his arms were sticking straight up forever yeah and so he's like cut them off yeah just cut him off put me out of my miscreate yeah yeah so she did a bunch of those have you guys seen one i've seen all of them yeah yeah i traveled what was your favorite fact because i only saw that one um she said that it wasn't actually her in the paddington movie what yeah yeah what does that mean

That was PADdington playing two roles. Oh. The one I saw, she said she wasn't writing a horse in the movie Australia. She was writing it in the one that Ron Howard directed. Far and away. Far and away. Yeah. And I was like, yeah, I know.

You already knew that? Well, I mean, I think it's possible that people are going to know some of the things. Yeah. They're not all top secret. No. The one where she said. She was like, it's a calming misconception. She didn't stay married to Tom, Chris.

But a person else The movie with said they saw one That was a different one where she said If I had to pick any movie candy to eat It would be goobers Which I think is like really unpredictable It's unexpected I saw one where she said Raisinettes

So she did two candy ones Weird and she was lying in one of them Or both So one's a lie It kind of makes you wonder if all the rest of them are lies too Well I saw one where she was like I'm not three years old Well that's true

I guess that's true That is true. I don't know. Do we know that, though? But do people think that? Can anyone remember anything she's ever done previous to three years ago? If she's three years old, she's very sophisticated. I'll say that.

She's got to be in the top percent of time. Yeah. She wears a gown very comfortably for someone who's three. She's a little too comfortable in a gown for a three-year-old, if you ask me. Yeah. And those heels. Not to mention those heels. And don't get me started on those heels.

Oh, those Louvittons? On those red bottom booty. Labutons. Those apple-bottom. jeans? Boots of the fur? Oh my God. The whole club was looking at her, but she had the floor.

And next thing you know, everybody got low. I mean, I think she really has that way of inspiring people. She really is. We love you, Nicole. I don't know how we got on this, but the other day, we were talking about old TV shows. We're talking about the Beverly Hillbillies. And it struck me that Granny, in the opening credits, being in a rocking chair on top of their old truck.

It's actually pretty funny. It is funny. Yeah. Although is it based on the Grapes of Wrath where she was just on it? I think it's an heightening of that, yes. Okay. She's in a rocking chair rather than a chair chair. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. That's cool. She's on top of the truck. Oh, she's on top. She's on the cab? Like on top of the cab? Yes. Funny shit.

It's really funny. And I think for some reason I took it for granted as a child. Yeah. Because you see something like that and you're like, everything's going to be this good. Yeah. All right, we have to take a break. Only 18 states require sex ed to be medically accurate. And relationship classes, let's fix that.

I'm Shan, an A-Sex certified sex educator with a master's in psych. And on my podcast, Lovers by Shan, we make learning about love as mind-blowing as making it. Celebrities and fascinating people share an intimate story. Then we uncover the lesson for all of us. watch Lovers by Shinn from Lemonada Media on YouTube or listen wherever you like your podcast. And we're back. Here's what Silon sound like for Lauren. But first, an RBC ad.

What's RBC? Is it, ma'am, this is an RBC. Oh, then a weird Star Trek ad, get bad. I like that. By the way, you could have plugged under this. I love how it is. We'll be with us shortly. Your sweet ass will be with us shortly.

When I was a kid, I thought that voice was the coolest fucking thing. Yeah. It sounded really cool. Yeah. But Battlestar Galaxa came out after Star Wars. So it was like, oh, this is going to be as cool as Star Wars. Oh, yeah. But it didn't have the budget of Star Wars.

Speaking of which. Yeah. Okay. So Star Wars comes out. Yeah. 1977. Dr. Koo adds a robot dog called K-9.

Yes, K-9. who truly sucks. Yes. Although, great final episode. Great final episode. Yeah. Then later,

they add a more like humanoid android guy named chameleon that I just got to that episode. And it's, you look at it and you're like, that guys, he gave it a shot, you know? Yeah.

You tried. You can't win them all. Yeah. You tried to capture the imaginations of, yeah, the world's children. But you have a budget of 50p. And you couldn't make it happen.

All right. We're going to play a three church. Are we playing a game? This is an oldie and a goodie. We're going to play switch it and pitch it. Oh. Holy shit. This is like meeting an old friend for dinner.

It feels like it's episode three. So one of us says the title to something that exists, a television show or a movie that already exists. Got it. The other two then do the opposite. of each word for the new title that they pitch and we pitched that to the person who gave us the original title and then we have to sing the theme song at the end. That's right.

Okay. Okay, who wants to start with the title? Now, may I make a suggestion? Yeah. So the one person is being pitched two. Yes. Well, that's the person who comes up with the thing. No, it's two people who are being pitched two.

Hold on a second. No, no, no, it's one person that's being pitched. Oh my God, what? It's always a team. Please, please just let me speak. What do you? What? It's a writing team.

Scott, let me... I thought it was the opposite. I can explain it. I'm arguing with Lauren. Excuse me. I want to fight. I want to fight both of you. In my memory, it's two people hearing a pitch.

That might be... We've done shows like that before. We've done shows like that before. So if the person who comes up with the actual title of the real thing, that's the person who's being pitched to. So you give that, then the team, one of them will explain the concept, then the other one has to sing the song. What do you think about that?

Sure, but can the other person back the first person up? Or do they have to stay silent? I think they have to stay silent. They have to take whatever it is, and they have to incorporate it into the song. I like the interplay between the two people. Okay. Fuck me. Okay.

Hey, I meant to say, fuck you. I think fuck you both. And let's just do it how we do it. Let's just do it how we do it. All right. I love your idea. I thought it was cool. Hey, thank you.

I thought it was cool. It's great. You didn't. Okay. The title is, and who's going to pitch it? Well, if you say the title, then the both of us. All right. Sorry.

Jesus. The title is quantum leap. Oh, quantum leap. Hey, thanks for meeting us. Of course. Sorry. Sorry, I'm late. Oh, you don't have to run.

No, we believe me, we had to run because we're crossing the picket line. Yeah. They are mad at us. It's pretty intense. out there, huh? Yeah. We like to look at the window and kind of just laugh. This is a big opportunity for us. We've never had any show on television before. We're not part of the writer's guild. You know what? We probably shouldn't have said wish us luck to everyone. Yeah. Yeah. We're going in to pitch a show. You were doing. Maybe not. Yeah. So yeah, okay, great. I'm glad you guys are here. You're both non-union scabs.

That's right. And I think this is the perfect time to buy. So let's... We're glad to get our foot in the door. Yeah. It won't last if, you know, once the deal's all done over here. But I'm just telling you that. I don't know what that means. Yeah, me neither. All right. So what? Do you mind explaining it? What about? It won't last.

Like your success won't last. Like people will not be happy that you did this. But we'll be rich, right? Famous? Wait, so the other writers determine whether or not we're successful? They're going to just, you know, tear you down and kind of get you out. Well, in America, we build everyone up to tear each other down. Yeah, that's a quote from air.

Okay. Is that true? All right, well, I don't really have a ton of time because I have... But you have another half hour, right? I have a little bit of time, but Jimmy Kimmel was sending over a pizza truck for the exacts. Really? Well, that's nice of him. He's a sweetheart.

Gonna have that. Do you think he's doing that to, like, dig at Jay? I don't know, because he does it for the writers and does it for us. It kind of just a bad. Yeah, one for us. Because he knows, like, they're hungry out there. We're hungry in here. Everyone's hungry.

It's like, you can't leave to go get lunch because you're pressing a big of lunch. taking the lead of our glorious mayor, Karen Bass. Yes. Everyone should just get along. Yeah. Yeah. All right. All right.

We're here to pitch a show. I know. I love it. And it is called short stand. Short stand. Okay. Yep. It's a great show.

It's kind of a cross between, do you know, short round from the Indiana Jones movie? Yeah, the guy who now won an Oscar. Yeah. No time for love. This show could win an Oscar. Oh, my God. Do you think so? A show winning an Oscar.

Maybe we're getting a show. ahead of our cell. Okay, because that doesn't work that way. No, this is the first, we're proposing the first television show that's eligible for the Oscars. It's part of the bitch. Okay. Okay. Yeah.

What's it about? Well, it's a cross, as you said. Yeah. Between short round and the Stephen King's the stand. You know, Randall Flagg, the rest of those cooks. Do I have to know for this to continue? Nope. Okay.

Do you mind reading the stand? Because you wrote real quick. It's about 1,700 pages. Yeah. I could all good. I'll zip through that. Okay. The expanded edition digs into those characters even deeper.

I'm really doing. She's doing. My God. Don. Beed-de-b-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d. It was good. Okay. I like the part with the stand.

That's the best part as far as I'm concerned. There's a plague that is sweeping the nation. No. And it's called Captain Trips. Oh, okay. Yeah. And it makes you do a bunch of gross things. and then you die.

The only person who's immune to it is a little boy from 1939. That's right. A little Asian boy from 1939. And he's the only person left alive at the end of the first minute of the show. That's right. That's right. So he has the entire earth to himself. And then it becomes kind of a home alone.

Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of last man on earth. So is someone trying to break into Earth? And he's trying to like, it's a gooey trap. Two alien burglars who are so. Woking wet. Okay.

From just their planet. They're called the wet aliens. Yes. Yeah. And they say it's like the opposite of signs. They come from a planet that's all water. Okay. So short round sets up some like paint cans, uh, on ropes, you know.

A big boulder. Yeah, a huge. And Indiana Jones comes back to life really briefly and goes, hey, that's my thing. And then he dies. And it's funny. Uh-huh. And it will be played by Harrison for it. Okay.

So then he defeats. He has to do the whole series and it's probably going to run for 10 years. is him trying to defeat these soaking wet aliens. Which he does at the end of the second minute. Yes. Of the first episode. Every episode. Yes.

Is the rest of the episode just him kicking back? Just chilling. Have you ever seen a television show that's so relaxing? It's made you feel good about watching because it's like, wow, I wasn't tense. This isn't like breaking bad. Are you familiar with Hugo? This show aims to be the background noise show of all time. Okay.

Can we just talk about the? main character a little bit? No. Okay. You'd rather not. Okay. Great. Then I guess my big question is like, who's this for?

It's for every man, woman, and child in the United States of America and the world. Who's not racist because it is an Asian character. Yes. Who's not racist. Well, it should be for everyone. I guess racist can interpret it in a certain way. You can have some self-hatred? Yeah.

No, I don't think the character should change. Oh, you love the character. Why did you want to talk about the character? I wanted no more. There's no more. I love what I know. There's no more. So you love 100% of it.

Yeah, because I think he's very likable. Yeah, absolutely. I'm so glad you got that from our description. He's charming and he's fun. Yes. And he is an every man and yet still very unique. Yeah. And he's everything I've ever wanted in a character.

You really get this. Wow. Amazing how you got it. Now, that being said, you got it. You guys have no experience? None. Less than no experience. Yeah.

We've actively... You've never even written this idea. No, we've actively... We've forgotten how to read and write for this. So does that mean you'll have to learn again? Yes, if you would teach us. Okay. Or at least send us a link.

Yeah. So you can click a link, but you don't know what it says. Oh, I can click links all day long. Um, okay. Okay. Stop, stop, stop. Here's what... Here's someone to offer you.

Okay. I'm going to offer you, and this is the best I can do right now. Okay. I like the sound of this. I want five seasons, 75 episodes. Per season? Yes, and I can give you $10 million per episode. That's it.

That's it. Each, that's it. Can we just confer? Can we confer? Can we confer? This still sucks. Let's get the fuck out of here. Who is this bitch?

Sorry, we're not for sale Yeah Okay Don't let the door Too good Hit you Where the good Lord Split ya

And by the way Anything you pitched in this room Is now mine So I own this show And you get nothing And I am gonna make it From scratch Well what's the theme song

Then if you own it It's It goes a little something like this Shortstand He's a little little guy who knows his worth short stand. He does whatever he can on this earth to find our love, a romance, a number one fan, everything he's wanted in just one man.

Yes, he's gay, and that's something he'll discover in season five. We'll get there later. Goodbye. I can't wait to see the show. I can't wait until season five. Yeah. Wow. He has a lot of self-reaching.

I like it to the theme song. Tells you something it's like, it's going to happen five years from now. Because that will keep you invested. Hook to me, honestly. I know. Anyway, good stuff. Well, thanks for the idea.

Well, bye. Bye. Get the guys in goat hubs. Kill them! Okay. All right. Okay.

All right. Do we have time for one more? Yeah, we do. We have time for two more, probably. Okay. I'll be the executives. Does that make things easier? Sure.

Okay. Think of a show title that already exists. That's the part that was... The hardest thing in the world to do. Okay. The title, of course, is But Rogers of the 25th century.

Hey, uh, it's so nice to meet you. I'm so glad to be pitching this show with you. Why aren't you talking to me? Because I'm talking to her. Do you mind? I'm the executive.

I know. I'm meeting her for the first time. Oh, I'm so sorry. I apologize. What? Shit. This guy. This fucking guy.

Yeah, I know. The first pitch I'm hearing and I'm blowing a TFT. I hope they don't know that I'm brand new. I bet this dude's brand new or something. Hey, anyway, it's so nice to meet you. Yeah. Really pleased to be pitching this. Yeah.

Okay, so how do you want to do it? I think I'm going to like take your lead, follow your lead. You're going to take the lead? Yeah, and I'll just like do whatever you're doing. Okay, great. Hey. It's for horses. Grass is free.

Oh, he's funny. Get yourself a barn and you'll earn all... I hated him when I first walked in here, but now I think he's so funny. When I saw when he was wearing, I thought, not gonna do it. And so he has an comically large baseball cap. You're not gonna do it. You're not gonna do it. Oh, he's not funny.

Oh, God. Oh, no. Listen, this is the drama department. Oh. Yeah. We know. We know. But we take all kinds of pitches.

because we can let go all the other departments. Okay, well, this happens to be the most dramatic show of all time. Fuck. This is a song called... A song. I just met him. You're just pitching me a song? I just met him.

Is that a problem? If it goes well, we're a team and if it doesn't go well, I just met him. This is a song that you're going to base a television show on. I'd like to hear the song at the end. No, we'll sing the song at the end. I'm just telling you that it starts as a show. song. Sing it now.

Yeah. No, I forbid it. Sing it. I don't take orders from the lake screen. I'm not going to listen. Sing it. I'm talking to her. Sing it.

Sing it. Now. Is this all planned? Yes. Yes. And this is the relationship between the main characters of the show that we want to pitch to you. It's really funny how they are.

And dramatic. Very dramatic, which is called Penny. Penny. Oppany. Rogers Hammerstein Penny Hammerstein What was the next one?

In the 20th century. Penny Hammerstein on the 50th anniversary. Wow. Pan Amherstine on the 50th anniversary. I'm intrigued.

Yeah. But this is the problem with the main character. He doesn't remember things. Because he's been asleep for so many years. Eight hours a night for so many years. So it's like momentum.

No. In what way? He goes to sleep and he wakes up but he can't remember things? No, it's not like that. Okay. Do you not remember things when you wake up? It's very different. I remember a lot of things when I wake up.

Yeah, so is our character. Our character's very relatable. Our character's just like you. I thought you said you've... What's your name again? Huh? My name? What's my name?

Who are you? My name's Chad Ferengi. That's our character's name. He's just like you. That's her character's name, Chad Ferengi. No, I'm really interested. Now, you may be wondering who's Penny Hammerstein. This is like a story I heard about a TV executive who, if you put her name in the TV show pitch, she was interested.

She was interested. Yeah. Well, yes, Chad Ferengi is our main character. Penny Hammerstein is the woman that he's left behind. On his 50th anniversary, he goes to sleep. No. For every night, for eight hours a night. He's 50th anniversary of life.

Yep. He goes to sleep for eight hours every single night and he wakes up. Everything's cool. He goes to sleep for exactly eight hours? For around eight hours. Okay. It varies depending on, you know, his sleep cycle. Sometimes he can't get a good position on his pillow and he'll get less sleep.

Sometimes he's just dog tired. Because some people in the audience sleep for, you know, seven hours, some for 10. We time it out to whoever's watching. But it's them and it's also you. So it's kind of a based on your sleep schedule. Yeah, we need you to report to us every morning. I kind of get a solid eight, but there are times. I sleep between seven and nine hours a night.

There's times when you get less and there's times where you get work. No, it's exactly between seven and nine. We'll need you to call us when you wake up. Yeah, I sleep eight hours every night. Eight, exactly eight. Exactly eight. Oh, interesting. Yeah, it's weird.

But we still want you to call us every day and tell us you slept eight hours. Just to make sure. Will you please call us, sir? I'd love to call you. My number is, let's say our number at the same time. Yeah. Three, eight, nine, four is here. Keepo.

Kipo, got it. Got it. Kifo. 389. Far zero. Kifo. So look. Just call that.

Just call. Every day. All right. Okay. So anyway. So Chad Ferengay, he wakes up every morning. And then it's his 50th anniversary. What more do you need to know, man?

Of his birth. Right. Of his birth. Okay. And then. So what happened to the whole thing? Who cares, man? Yeah.

How do we know that she even existed? It's a big info, does he reference her? It's in the credits. There's a big crawl. Oh, it's in the credits. Yeah.

And a narrator. Before every episode. Yeah. It's about 27 minutes. Is the narrator saying the same thing that's in the crowd? No. No, no, no.

They happen simultaneously. They happen simultaneously. You have to be able to listen first. Right. And then rewinds and read. Right. Right. From multitasking.

Okay, good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's good for people who can, like, hear two things. What's that phone number again? 3-9-8-Far-K-H-H-0-Z-Kifo. Far-0-0-Kifo. I apologize.

3-9-38-9-Far-0-Kifo. Anyway, so the crawl is 27 minutes, which leaves us... It's also 27 dresses. So you get to watch the entire movie 27 dresses. So is to dress a crawl? Yeah. Yes. So it's a crawl.

One dress per crawl. Yeah. And, um... I think that's about it. I mean, other than, of course, the fact that it has a theme song. It's based on a theme song. Oh, it's based on its own theme. It's based on its own song because we...

That's interesting. It's based on IP that already exists. Yeah. What's the IP? The song. It, you, he pee is like wherever you told. Freely. Yeah.

The song, it's an existing theme song, but not an existing show. No. no, it's just a song that's out there that we were like. Here, let's see it. This is wild, yeah. Penn Amherstine on his 50th anniversary. He wakes up, gets out of bed, drags a comb across his head, finds his way downstairs and has a cup. And somebody spoke any way to do a dream.

I read the news today. Oh, boy. Are you part of this? No. No. This is where you chop out. I've never heard the song. I can't speak.

Oh, I see. You guys just met. She, we just met. We're still singing. About a motor crash that made the grade. Oh, my God. Okay. So anyway, does that sell it?

Yeah. It's based on a Beatles song. We sold it. It does. But we're in an alternate universe from. the movie yesterday where you don't know who the Beatles are. No, I do. You know who the Beatles are?

Wait, you're saying we're in that universe right now? Yeah. That's not part of the pitch. You're saying, that's what's happening in the world. That's what's happening in the world right now. You don't know who the Beatles are. No, I do, I swear. Oh, I don't.

Do you? Yeah. Are you one of the only people who knows who the Beatles are? It's just us. It's just us. Just us. I'm standing here and Puss. Well, you sold it in the room.

Now get out. Okay. Yay. Yay. And that's how you play. Switching. Listen, everybody, we love you. Thank you so much for listening.

We love our Piss Pigs. If you would like to write to us and suggest a threacher, write to FreedomUSA at gmail.com. And right, it's like a game like that that we can... Don't have to guess. You know, to guess things. I mean, guessing things is fine, but like a game you play in the car

or, you know, a game you play around a campfire. Classic campfire game. Mike texted me a gif of an old woman saying in the Beanie Baby World, I was famous. Great. And if you would like to call us, leave us a voicemail, maybe you want to ask us for advice. Maybe you want to get us to start an interesting convo,

like if we're high or whatever. Yeah. Then why don't you call us at Hague Claims 8 and try to keep your message to under 30 seconds and say your name so we can say hi to you, Piss Pigs. Yes. And then the other thing is follow us on Instagram at Freedom USA. Yeah.

And write to us at Threeeem, USA at gmail.com. I already said that. And if you want to... And write to us at Freedom USA at Gmail.com. If you want to listen to Adopt free editions of this show.

Editions or issues. Yeah. Exactly. If you want... We have the early edition and the late... If you want to hear early edition and a current affair, ad free... And the early edition is tomorrow's episode,

but we put it out one day. That's right. Star Kyle Seekore. And if you can please come to my show, June 11th at Dynasty Typewriter. Yeah. Or watch the live stream from home. Get tickets at DynastyTyperator.com.

I love that. And if you can please come to my show in Philadelphia. Just talking about it makes you tired. Underground, because I'm already picturing the next day when I had so much fun the night before. Yeah. You're just thinking about it and you can't get this.

Friday and Saturday, Saturday, 16th, 17th of June at Underground Arts. Come on out, Philadelphia. I love you and I can't wait to see you. and go to CBBWorld.com or Stitcher Premium if you don't want to hear some fucking ads. And buy the comedy, Bing, Bang, Bang Book. Yeah, man. Yeah, buy the comedy, bang, bang book. It's a bestseller.

And we got to go and we have to read one of those ads we're talking about. Okay, goodbye. Bye. This is the number one podcast for kids and families in the world and the newest edition to the Lemonada Media Network. We take stories written by. real kids and turn them into sketch comedy and songs featuring professional actors, famous guests, and original music. So get ready to light up your kids' imaginations with a show that you'll also enjoy. The Story Pirates podcast, new season coming November 6th.